#sending good vibes to everyone else dealing with this winter
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#crowley#good omens#gomens#goodomensedit#my gifs#tvgifs#tvedit#first gifs I've been able to make in a week#it's so cold here and we got so much snow#sending good vibes to everyone else dealing with this winter
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This has been done to death i know BUT I'm a sucker for it - thoughts on Tony working on Bucky's arm
this one will always be a fav headcanon of mine dear god i'll never get enough of it also fuck civil war that never happened in my universe, this blog is a massive the-avengers-all-live-together-yay vibes zone.
They're both idiots.
No, really, they are. Bucky starts to have some arm problems in the middle of the week, at 9:33 AM on a sunny Wednesday. It's not like he's being stupid on purpose, though. At least, he wasn't, at first. He just really doesn't know what to do. It isn't anything special, just phantom pains. Or something. It'd scared him the first time, but now he's just used to it.
Tony notices Bucky wincing in pain during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He makes it a point to ask Steve to ask Bucky to pass him the mashed potatoes, or to ask Clint to ask Nat to ask Bucky whether he could set the table for dinner (and he can't lie, it's kind of a funny, endearing sight to see none other than the Winter Soldier setting the dinner table for the Avengers). Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, Bucky grimaces every time he moves, and Tony notices. Obviously, he's gotta do something about it.
Tony's not sure whether no one else cares, or if they're all just too dense to notice (probably the latter). He almost wishes that other people would notice, because, well, he and Bucky, they're not exactly on the best of terms. The guy did murder his parents, after all.
But Tony can't just sit there and watch someone in pain. He knows how that feels—to be watched and have them do nothing about it. His hand creeps up to the arc reactor in his chest unconsciously, tapping absentmindedly until he catches Natasha staring. He quickly drops his hand and excuses himself to the lab after that.
It goes on for another week. Tony can't help but feel pent-up energy bubbling in his gut. Why can't the stupid arm fix itself? Oh, right, because it's a shitty arm that HYDRA gave the guy to make him a murder weapon, an asset to their operation. And Tony's just sitting here and letting him be in pain.
He can't take it anymore. He sends everyone who might interfere (Steve, Clint, Natasha, Thor, Bruce... yeah, everyone who might interfere meaning all of them) out to get shawarma for dinner and directs JARVIS to guide Bucky down to his lab.
And when Bucky enters the lab, he feels faint. A bit light-headed. He's not sure whether that's from fear or anger or just nerves.
Bucky's face is stony and expressionless. It's a bit too similar to the Winter Soldier for Tony's liking, and he has to tell himself that appearances aren't everything. He still has a heart, doesn't he?
So, taking a deep breath, he says, "C'mere," and gestures to the seat. Bucky doesn't move. Tony frowns. Bucky doesn't move. And then Tony realizes what's wrong. He doesn't really know what happened, doesn't really know what Bucky went through, but he was told enough to know that chairs that looked like this brought up bad, bad memories— "That's okay. Um, you wanna sit on my stool instead?" He pulls out his stool as he speaks.
Bucky moves.
When Bucky sits, his hands are twitching into little fists, even the metal one, despite the pain that he has to be feeling at the actions. Tony pretends not to see it. He doesn't like his scars, and no one points it out, so he gets it. He knows what not to say.
He doesn't end up talking at all, really. He helps fix Bucky's arm, and the man sits still and quiet, just like Tony expected him to.
Tony lets him go after figuring out the problem with the wiring. The moment Bucky leaves, he begins to pull up a scan of the arm and work on a new, better arm. It should feel weird, that he's making a new arm, quite possibly a weapon, for someone who murdered his mom, but he doesn't... it doesn't feel weird. This is what Tony does. Tony tinkers. Tony fixes. Tony creates. Tony helps.
The next time Bucky finds his arm hurting, he goes down to Tony's lab by himself. It nearly scares Tony shitless, because the guy didn't even turn the lights on while he waited on the stool, but he tries not to show it.
He tries for a light, easy chit-chat this time. A conversation. "So, how're you feeling?" "Do you have a favourite colour?" "Do you like cats? You seem like a cat person."
Bucky answers. "Good." "Green." "I like cats."
It's progress.
Tony continues to works on the new arm design. He wants it to be good. He takes his time.
Bucky comes down to see him again. He turns the lights on this time. He even plays some classical music, which isn't really Tony's thing, but he figures Bucky wouldn't really want loud AC/DC music playing. He knows that the smallest of things like certain sounds can be a trigger.
Chopin's Nocturne op.9 no.2 floats through the air gently as Tony tinkers away at Bucky's arm. And before Bucky can leave this time, he shows him the new design, nervously.
Bucky stares. And keeps staring. Tony wonders if he made a mistake, until Bucky says, slowly, voice low and raspy in a way that sends shivers down Tony's spine, but not from fear, "This is for me?"
Tony tries to keep it casual. He doesn't want Bucky to feel like he owes him anything. He knows the guy also feels terrible about the whole I murdered your parents while I was brainwashed thing. He can suck it up. For Bucky. "Yeah, big guy," he says, even nudging him lightly. Bucky stiffens, and then leans into the touch, which makes Tony's mouth go dry with shock and—and fondness. He's like... a big teddy bear. Wouldn't even hurt a fly. Yeah, Tony's pretty sure Bucky Barnes is scared of bugs. Hastily, he adds, "It's not—it's not completed, or anything, but I just wanted to show you because it wouldn't be such a hassle like the one you have right now. Um, nanotech, and it won't be such a heavy clunky thing—"
Bucky's arms fly towards him, cutting him off, and pull him into a hug. A big teddy bear hug.
Tony freezes, stiff from shock, before he melts into it. Cautiously, he wraps his arm around Bucky. He smells good, like wood and leather.
"Thank you." Bucky's voice comes out raspy again, and this time, there's emotion in it—a lot of it. "Thank you."
"I've gotcha," Tony assures, because he does. This is nothing, it's all easy stuff, to design an arm for Bucky, because Tony cares. It's not a big deal.
But to Bucky, it is.
Touch-starved, he clings onto Tony harder, tighter, until Tony eventually says, "You wanna watch me design it? You can tell me what you think as we go, even."
Bucky finally pulls back and nods. "Yeah," he says, softly. "Yeah, okay." And he sits on his stool.
Tony works, and Bucky watches.
ask me for my thoughts!
#tony stark#bucky barnes#winteriron#tony/bucky#tony x bucky#winteriron headcanons#my fics#my headcanons#thoughts ask game#THIS TURNED OUT TO BE SO LONG#AND FOR WHAT#PLSSSS i just love tension sm
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Cat and Mouse (PS4! Felicia Hardy x Reader)
[Summary: Being a new hero in New York was hard. It was even harder when all of Spider-man’s old villains broke out of the raft. You had worked with him enough, so when he called and asked you to help with a side project while he was busy, you agreed. Little did you know, the game of cat and mouse would end a lot differently than you expected. (She/her pronouns)
Warnings: Technology that I don’t understand, Cops, mentions of sexual themes, swearing
Request: From my request survey (https://forms.gle/37LyBcqSDHttv2Da9)]
You back hurt. Your chest hurt. Everything hurt. You had been out late at night, helping Spider-man stop a string of simple robberies throughout the city. You were still new at the whole hero thing, so you took quite a few hits.
You had just started your hero work recently, after discovering that you had the power to summon a pair of wings to appear on your back out of nothing. They were nearly bullet proof, and after a bit of practice you could fly pretty fast. You were still getting used to actually using the wings in combat, though, and they weren’t much help when it came to anything stealthy. So there was still quite a bit of work for you to do.
But your rest was cut short by a familiar ringtone, “Uuuugh. What do you want, Spidey?”
“Sorry to wake you up, Angel,” It was odd to have a hero name like that, one that sounded like a pet name. He always said it so formally, though, which you appreciated, “I’m a little busy at the moment, but an old… friend of mine is in town, and I was wondering if you could help me out.”
“I’m not dealing with any of your big villains,” You said. A lot of them had broken out recently. You understood that it was a lot of work for him, but you really weren’t ready to deal with any of them.
“No, no, it's not that,” He sounded exhausted, “Blackcat might be back in business, and I was wondering if you could just check out what’s going on? I’ll send you the address she told me to go to, just check it out and see what’s up, so I have time to deal with everyone else?”
You had heard of Blackcat. She was good at what she did, but she wasn’t exactly dangerous. She played games, but she wasn’t likely to try to murder you, “Yeah, okay. As long as I don’t have to deal with any of your weird homicidal arch enemies.”
- - - - -
Maybe you were stupid to think this would go well. Finding the message she left for Spidey was pretty easy. Using the camera to find her little cat robot was pretty easy, too. What made it a lot worse, was the second you hung up the call with the police captain that Spidey had been working with, your phone pinged with an influx of notifications. Your map app had lit up like a Christmas tree with new addresses that Blackcat wanted you, or, well, Spidey, to go to.
You were pretty surprised, though, when your phone started ringing with a call from a number you had never seen before, “Hello?”
“Well, hey there, birdie,” You hear a voice purr from the other side, “I wasn’t expecting Spidey to send his pretty new sidekick, but I won’t say I’m upset.”
“I’m not a sidekick,” You say, trying to sound tough. Though, you couldn’t help but blush a little at the word pretty, “Did you need something, Cat? I thought you had retired.”
“Maybe I just want to play a game,” She purrs, “Won’t you play with me?”
- - - - -
She didn’t seem upset that it was you instead of Spider-man. She really seems to just be playing games, so you thought after she realized it was you instead of her boy-toy, she’d get bored. But she still seemed to be having fun. She had set up all the clues, and you could tell they were new, since the recordings were addressed to you instead of Spider-man.
She seemed to be getting more and more flirty with each recording. You were starting to regret your choice in name every time she said it. You were really trying not to be so much of an idiot that you’d let a beautiful woman with a soothing voice convince you to let her off the hook just because you had a crush on her. But it was a bit of a challenge.
After a while, you were pretty sure that you had reached the end of the trail she had set up for you. It was a lot of flying, and a lot of taking five-minute breaks in order to stop yourself from losing focus. You had seen pictures of her, and at some point you started to wish you hadn’t.
Felicia Hardy was gorgeous. Her hair was white, and it always looked perfectly and shiny in the pictures. Her eyes were bright blue, nearly the color of the sky. She was tall, and surprisingly thin for someone who seemed so fit. And her costume itself seemed to add to her flirty nature. It was perfect for her job, but it also really gave off dominatrix vibes.
You were landing on a rooftop in order to take a break when you got the phone call. The police captain. She didn’t call you usually. Something was very wrong, “Do you remember all those little cat statues at all of the places you reported Blackcat robberies?”
“Yes…” You drew the word a bit. You remembered. They weren’t really statues. Spidey had told you about them before. They were electronic. They had some sort of radio signal. You figured that the NYPD knew that, though.
“They set off some sort of signal when we put them all in evidence and Blackcat was able to break in and take all of her old gear,” You held back a string of insults. How were they so incompetent that they didn’t realize to block the signal those things put off? But you were sure it wasn’t her fault. It was likely that she just had some street cops deal with it. They didn’t really get a lot of training on mastermind burglars.
“Alright, I’ll figure it out,” You sigh, still biting back a few snarky comments. You hang up, taking a deep breath before loading up a program on your phone that Spidey had set up. You just needed to find a trace of the radio signal and you’d be able to trace it to a specific location.
You flew up as high as you could, hoping it could pick up something. If there was anything relating to Blackcat in the area, you should be able to trace it. Otherwise, you’d just fly across the city until you could.
Luckily for you and your tired wings, your phone pinged in just a few minutes. You were pretty quick to make it over to the are where your phone marked. Nearby was a subway tunnel that was condemned until it was repaired. And it the theme Blackcat had going, she had marked it with a mural. She was theatrical.
You ducked into the tunnel, running a hand along the wall to see if you could find anything odd. About halfway in you found a slight gap in the wall, about the same as a few of the other cracks in the wall, but it was too clean. It all seemed a little sloppy for Felicia, so you wondered if it was possible that she was leading you into some sort of trap. But of course, you didn’t think about that until you were already opening the door.
The room behind the moving wall was full of expensive things. Things you were pretty you couldn’t afford if you worked your whole life and spent nothing. Paintings, expensive wine, money. You knew Spidey was too much of a goody-goody, but you couldn’t help but be enchanted by the wealth surrounding you.
“An angel among her heavens,” a voice purred behind you. It was close. Closer than you thought it was possible to get without you noticing.
White hair, blue eyes, and the signature black mask was all right in front of you. The smirk on her face was much more intimidating in person. Everything about her told you that if she wanted to, she could pin you to the wall with very little effort. And you were kind of into it?
“Cat, what exactly are you planning? Don’t you think that game was a little much?” You ask, trying to sound uninterested.
“Aw, come on, Angel,” She pouts at you, and your heart flutters, “Maybe I just wanted a bit of attention. You know, I've been neglected lately.”
“Felicia, you stole your gear back. I know you’re planning something big. What is it?” You could tell that she could see that you were breaking, despite how tough you thought you were acting.
“Hmmmm,” She hummed, shifting a bit closer to you, “Perhaps there’s a way I can convince the pretty little angel to let me slide for just a little while. You can even come catch me in a day or two if you really still want to.”
Her hands were on your shoulders, sliding down your arms. Her eyes were inches from your own. They really were as blue as you thought they’d be. Icy, like a frosty winter breeze. She was sliding her nails down your arms, lightly scratching your skin. God, she was gorgeous. Fuck, you were an idiot.
“Come now, Kitten,” She purred, leaning into your ear, “Let’s have some fun, and then we’ll continue our game.”
You knew it was stupid. But you couldn’t stop yourself. Before you knew it, you were pressed up against a wall, your mouth against hers. She smells like catnip and expensive perfume. Beautiful and floral. Your hands were wandering before you could even think about it. And before you knew it, you were in this far too deep.
[A/N: Btw, if you want to keep on on me with some more personal things, check out my tiktok @ al3x13l where I share my opinions on things, and sometimes post art when I’m feeling up to it. Also, I don’t know this character super well, so I’m sorry if this is ooc.]
#ps4 spiderman#ps4 spiderman x reader#felicia hardy#felicia hardy x reader#blackcat#blackcat x reader
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helllllloo. i wanted to first say that you are a wonderful human being, your presence on my dashboard brightens my day, you’re so kind to all your followers and i love seeing you interact with us! and i am sending you all the positive adult vibes your way ✨✨✨
second, there’s been a lot of chit chat lately about all the heartrender husband fans combusting over Simon Sears’ interview and the many many feelings that a certain grumpy bear gives us for his one (1) soft spot and ray of sunshine despite all his fragility and fear. i was wondering, if you had any thoughts on how it looks on the flip side for fedyor? i cant imagine being married to the General’s right hand man is easy (it’s both the safest and most dangerous place for Ivan to be).
Okay first of all, the first part of your ask is so sweet that I read it like three different times and was like wow are u sure. Second, boy oh boy can I use those positive adult vibes (even if they sound slightly like a porno 😂) because it has been the few weeks from hell. Job rejections, family health drama, moving hassle, and other such nonsense, to the point where if either myself or a member of my family has inadvertently insulted a leprechaun, I hereby apologise deeply and unreservedly on our behalf. Sheesh.
Anyway, never mind all that. We are indeed losing our minds slightly over said interview, for obvious reasons, but yes, Fedyor. Obviously he is Ivan's little ray of sunshine and one (1) weakness and the person he allowed himself to fall in love with despite losing the rest of his family, all of which are ship dynamics that drive me/us promptly feral. I definitely feel, however, that Fedyor has plenty of ferocity of his own, which is one of the reasons Ivan is drawn to him. Book!Fedyor tells Alina in the carriage scene that he became a Heartrender instead of a Healer (despite being of a Healing temperament) because he thought that he could do more good for people as a soldier, including when he has to kill. He also says that being a Corporalki is the hardest of all Grisha paths and requires the most training and study. I imagine that Fedyor was pretty good especially at the book learning part of his training, is interested in and dedicated to Grisha lore and history, and about finding way to use that beyond the obvious and making the Grisha appreciate who they are as a people and what their purpose in Ravka really is. And I'm not just saying that because I am also a historian and like to project onto my favorite characters. Shh.
Fedyor is obviously the total opposite of Ivan, personality-wise, but I think that is also why they complement each other. Fedyor helps Ivan lighten tf up and eat a pink cookie at a party, and Ivan helps Fedyor cut directly through the bullshit when he needs to. Living in the Little Palace and around the royal court, as members of General Kirigan's inner circle, obviously requires a touch for politics and diplomacy that Fedyor is far better at than Ivan, but that means his instinct is likewise to smile and humor people even when he wants to tell them to fuck off. Cue Ivan coming along and telling them to fuck off, which means they can blame Ivan for it and not Fedyor, and Ivan is perfectly 100% fine with everyone thinking he is the biggest grump to ever grump, since the only people whose opinions he cares about are Kirigan and Fedyor. Oh Ivan.
Fedyor is also outgoing and likes to have fun and is probably on good terms with most of his compatriots. He's clearly friends with Nadia since we see them arm in arm at the winter fete in mlm/wlw solidarity. He is also Ivan's Anger Translator, and if people have something they want to tell Ivan, they have a bad habit of telling Fedyor instead and trusting him to pass it on, rather than talking to Ivan themselves. (Fedyor: honey do you think this is even a slight problem? Ivan: no what are you talking about, it's great.)
I do think that Fedyor is just as frightened of losing Ivan as Ivan is of losing him, though for different reasons. It helps for him that they're usually in the field together (judging by his comment to Kirigan in 1x06 assuming that he and Ivan are going after Nina together) and facing the same things and same danger, even if it causes Ivan anxiety for this exact reason. I do appreciate that none of us have bothered to include any homophobia in Grisha culture, or exclude the possibility that Ivan and Fedyor could indeed be married in a church ceremony in the Ravkan liturgy. There's probably some side eye toward their relationship in wider Ravkan society, sure, but that is also tied up with being Grisha and the prejudices that they already face for being different. Behind the walls of the Little Palace, though, that is not really a factor and not something that they have to deal with. People are surprised that Fedyor and Ivan are together not because they're both men, but because "you're so nice and he is so... Ivan..."
Fedyor: I know, I know. But I love him anyway.
I also think that Fedyor is deeply protective of Ivan, not least because he is the only one who knows the truth about him being fragile and losing loved ones and everything else that he has been through, which is why one of my favorite headcanons is Fedyor going absolutely apeshit if Ivan is ever seriously hurt. Likewise, you can call Ivan grumpy in a joking fashion, and Fedyor will chuckle and agree with you, but anything else and his eyes turn red and the Heartrending hands come out like what u say about my husband bitch. Only Fedyor is allowed to roast Ivan in depth at all, according to Fedyor, and he will Let You Know if you transgress.
(Also why I want Ivan and Fedyor to meet the Crows again, Ivan sees Jesper and goes NEMESIS, and Fedyor just goes MURDER!!!)
Anyway. I'm love them. The end.
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OOH I GOT A GOOD REQUEST,,,, How about Jonathan’s reaction to each of the jojos, and their jobros?
*Jonathan looking down at his absolutely fucked family tree, a single tear running down his cheek*
Listen...I always say that *insert literally any character* is the best parental figure but it's Jonathan hours which legally means I can call Jonathan best dad in this post regardless of anything I’ve said in the past about any other best dads.
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Lemme just implement my soft Jonathan headcanons first:
-Soft man. The king of manly tears. Tears down toxic masculinity like a fucking bulldozer
-Knits AND crochets. He never had a mother growing up so when Erina came in with all these lovely, traditionally feminine skills, he wanted to learn ALL OF IT
-Arguably gives the best hugs out of every Jojo (Josuke is a pretty close second, though)
-Since this post is just an impossible dimensional pocket where anything can happen, him and Erina live in one of those old grandma cottage-houses with a comfy, old couch and tacky curtains and a really cute little garden
-Again, if this is a pocket dimension he’s definitely hosting the Joestar family reunion there
-Just one of those houses where everyone feels comfortable
-Is impossible to piss off (except if you do anything to the people he loves)
-Always speaks in a very soft, understanding voice even when he’s mad/disappointed
-The father figure all the Jojos wish they had
◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
Part 2:
-You know that face you make when you watch someone you love do something insanely stupid but you’re still trying to keep positive because you know from experience that trying to stop them is futile?
-Just this constant, wincing smile?
-Yeah. That pretty much sums up Jonathan’s expression within any vicinity of Joseph Joestar
-He loves the man. He really does. But oh my god is he a dumbass
-Jonathan is the type of man to like,,,make bread and talk about his feelings but Joseph wants none of that shit and that’s ok,,,Jonathan can and will find another way to bond
-Regardless, he loves his Himbo grandson and the two of them end up talking about Erina and Speedwagon and a lil bit of Hamon too :3
-CAESAR on the other hand—Jonathan is so fucking happy to see a descendant of the Zeppeli’s continuing the whole Hamon thing and managing to be friends with Joseph
-Although Joseph never wants to talk about it outside of fighting, Jonathan and Caesar both share this tender love for the healing aspect of it :’)
-He teaches Caesar how to do stuff like grow/heal plants and flowers and Caesar ends up growing his own sunflowers in Jonathan’s backyard :)
-Smokey reminds him of Poco and he literally just wants to protect him with his whole heart hhhhhhhh
-Suzi Q also reminds him of Erina, but he still has no idea how she puts up with Joseph’s bullshit (and whenever she can’t decide what to wear, he always helps)
-He penalizes Lisa Lisa for being a fucking Hamon coach and also smoking cause like-
Part 3:
-Hgggghnn HEAR ME OUT but between him and Joseph, Jotaro arguably has more qualities of Jonathan including this wonderfully secret, sweet, sensitive side
-Jonathan grows flowers using Hamon and braids them into Star Plat’s hair (he has practice when doing it with Erina) :))))
-Joot claims to hate the bread that Jonathan bakes but if he DOES make it y’all know you’ll find him sitting there, eating it, and talking about his feelings like a good man should (but only if no one else is around)
-Arguably the only responsible father figure in his life and the only one who would scold him for literally going to jail
-Also apologizes profusely for not killing DIO the first time ;(
-Kakyoin is the kind of person you could just sit in silence with for hours doing shit like reading or painting or something and Father Jojo is loving the vibe
-YES JONATHAN WOULD HAVE A HOME GARDEN and every year he grows cherries for Kak >:)
-Pol is a bit extreme for him, but if he can handle Joseph then he can handle this man
-As rich, Victorian boys often did, he definitely studied french as a kid and can surprisingly hold a pretty good conversation
-Him and Avdol!!!! Feed his chickens together!! And engage in lovely, civil conversation :)))))
-Holy definitely inherited Jonathan and Erina’s sweet nature and she’s always down to compare knitting techniques with him :)
Part 4:
-Is it....is it safe to say that Jonathan just adopts all of Morioh?
-Ok but Josuke gets along with everybody (Rohan doesn’t count hgfjgh) so you already know he’d be up for some nice familial bonding (though he wouldn’t show it initially)
-I feel like he’d be hesitant at first because him and Joseph are already on weird terms and he doesn't wanna “intrude” on the Joestar family or anything like that
-But our man Jonathan is here to reassure him that he’s still a part of the family and his cute little grandma house door is always open for him when he needs it
-Jonathan would bake that bread and Josuke would be sittin’ on that couch pouring his heart out before that shit even comes out of the oven
-Josuke’s the biggest out of his friends so getting completely engulfed in a nice, warm, loving Jonathan hug is the best shit
-Like instant serotonin :)
-Crazy Diamond doesn’t have any hair so no stand braiding :( BuT Josuke will let his hair down sometimes and you already know master weaver Jonathan Joestar is braiding in some purple flowers and shit :)
-Okuyasu isn’t that smart academically, but our man has a big heart and that’s all Jonathan cares about
-Jonathan always makes soup for him whenever he’s down because Oku’s mama used to make him soup when he was sad too ;-;
-The two bond over losing a mother at a young age and never being close with their father and feeling unwanted growing up and its the sweetest shit
-Koichi would just,,,,stare in awe because between Jonathan, Joseph, and Jotaro he feels like a fucking ant (and is honestly kinda scared)
-The first time they meet, Jonathan tries to ruffle his hair and accidentally PUSHES THE BOY INTO THE CONCRETE and he feels so bad after, that he spends all night knitting him a new sweater
-He gives it to Koichi with apologetic tears in his eyes and Koichi fucking LOVES IT with all his heart
-Rohan is extremely intrigued by all of this shit and they two of them spend hours talking about Jonathan’s life
-Rohan ends up giving him a painting of Erina and now Jonathan sends him his favourite cookies on his birthday every year
-Also him and Tonio are real good buds and Tonio never yells at Jonathan for “eating impolitely” like George used to because he knows its just a sign that he loves his food :)
Part 5:
-What can I say? Both Jonathan and Giorno got a love for flowers and life, and that’s literally all they do together
-Like,,,their happiness is in one giant, contagious loop because when Jojo’s really happy, his Hamon will just make shit bloom everywhere and when Giogio is happy, his stand will go fucking bonkers and change shit into plants
-Ok but what if,,,they braided flowers into each other’s hair? :D
-Jonathan would bake the bread. Giorno would sit hesitantly on the couch. The moment this kid takes a bite with that GOOD jam he’s like “HAHA there goes my stoic front whoops-”
-Jonathan thought Giorno would get cold in the winter so he crocheted a heart the size of his tiddy window and gave it to him for Christmas
-As I said previously, him and Bruno would go fucking hard on tea parties and all that shit -Both are the obvious mom friend, it’s impossible for them not to get along
-Abba’s a little,,,iffy about him, but eventually grows on him the more Abbacchio actually starts warming up to Giorno (for whatever reason)
-Jonathan’s never really had to deal with teenagers that much (aside from when he was one himself,) so he really has no idea what the hell to do around Narancia and Mista because they’re so young and he feels like a fucking grandma around them
-But they’re always really sweet to him and ask if he wants to play COD but Jonathan has no idea why they could wanna play with a fish so he just smiles and laughs and hopes its a joke :’)
-When Trish wants her nails done, best jonadad is here to do it. She wants her hair done? Jonathan’s got that special brush that doesn’t hurt when you’re doing tangles. Hugs? Infinite hug supplier, babey. He’s really out here doing whatever it takes to keep best girl happy
-Fugo is,,,quiet,,,but he always comes over and eats the strawberries in his garden when they’re ready for harvest
-He even helps make them into jam :)
-He also teaches Fugo Hamon breathing techniques when he caught wind of his anger and it actually helps him a lot
-He considers everyone in that house his family too, and always invites them over for social events at his pocket dimension grandma house
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Jonathan Joestar lives in my head rent free...
If you’ve got a head canon idea, my ask box is always open!! <3
#jjba#jojos's bizarre adventure#jjba headcanons#headcanons#jonathan joestar#joseph joestar#jotaro kujo#josuke higashikata#giorno giovanna#jojo's bizzare adventure golden wind#diamond is unbreakable#battle tendency#ask-c-c-cherry#phantom blood#cw: smoking
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How does everyone view Kalim and Jamil’s relationship in the RR AU? Does it initially seem like they’re very close friends and people slowly realize they like each other as time goes on, or is it blatantly obvious from day one? Are there any particularly unique interpretations of their relationship from the other students? Sorry if I’m bombarding you with questions, but your AU has helped me get through a stressful week and I really enjoy it so far!
ANON IM SO GLAD MY AU BRINGS YOU JOY!!!!!!! Role reversed au makes me happy too so I’m super ;u; at the fact that it can bring other people happiness as well ;u;;; ALSO!! Please don’t worry about “bombarding” me with questions!! I LOVE questions!!! They help me think about stuff I haven’t considered yet in the au and tbh yall seriously know how to ask the REAL questions lmao
(Also as of me currently writing this, I don’t even have any other asks here aside from this one!! So if you want to send more...👀👀)
OKAY now for me to actually get to your question!!! I definitely think that upon their arrival at the school, they would have been read more as close friends and their attraction to each other would be less obvious. Not only were they both more guarded and cautious when they first got to the school (Kalim was busy getting a read on their classmates and the general school environment to sus out any potential threats or problems right off the bat while Jamil was SUPER uncomfortable and paranoid over being around so many people he didn’t know) but they also were roommates during their first year. Since it would be weird if Jamil, as a new student, somehow managed to get a large room all to himself, he went for the next best option by having Crowley assign both him and Kalim to a spacious two person dorm room (also a little weird, but a lot less suspicious than the alternative) so they wouldn’t have to deal with anyone they didn’t know. Bc of this, a lot of the stuff they said or did that came off as a little too close for them to just be friends was passed off as them being like that bc they shared a room.
Of course, anyone who paid close enough attention probably realized that Kalim and Jamil are definitely special to each other in a way no one else is. For example, even if Jamil is friends with some people at the school, he doesn’t let anyone touch him and is very big on personal space. Despite this, Kalim is always welcome to be physically affectionate without asking, and Jamil not only is content with Kalim hanging off his arm or draping himself over him but also gets touchy feely with Kalim in return. This kind of attention from Jamil is something no one else gets. On the flipside, Kalim is notably attentive to Jamil’s thoughts, feelings, and needs. Obviously he won’t share a good majority of what he knows, but it’s pretty obvious that Kalim knows practically everything about Jamil. He does a lot of little things to make him smile, and it’s not uncommon to catch Kalim staring at Jamil while he’s reading or studying. Both him and Jamil are in denial over their feelings, so they try to justify things to themselves/reason themselves out of it (Kalim tries to convince himself that he should just be carrying out his duties and nothing more, Jamil reminds himself not to read too deep into the way Kalim acts bc it could be false) but either way the trust between them is so solid it’s almost tangible. Considering these kinds of small moments of closeness would be most likely seen while they’re in the dorm, I feel like of all the people in the school, their fellow Scarabia dorm members would pick up the whole “yeah they definitely like each other but won’t admit it”/“are those two dating?” vibe from them first LMAO
I imagine a lot of their actual classmates, especially during their first year, wouldn’t care to look suuuper deeply into it and therefore may not have noticed. Out of all the students we know of, Azul would be the most likely to suspect that there’s something a bit different about their friendship than is normal, though I think the trail he’d be following would be that of their true identities rather than them liking each other. Considering Lilia is old as hell and has seen just about everything, he’d probably know more or less from day one that they like each other but decides to keep quiet about it so he can watch and see what happens. Also Rook DEFINITELY knows way before everyone else. He can just Sense It.
However, some stuff changes during second year when Jamil becomes dorm leader. By this point, Jamil has become WAY more secure and comfortable with staying at nrc, so his confidence is at an all time high and he isn’t laying low or sticking the shadows at all anymore. This makes him bolder and has him standing in the spotlight a lot more, which also means his interactions with Kalim become much more obvious. The way Jamil immediately appointed Kalim as his vice dorm leader upon getting the position is a bit telling as well. Due to their positions, they’re around each other even more than before, and they can often be seen discussing things or whispering plans to each other. Also, since they’re no longer roommates but still frequently are seen going to each other’s rooms (Kalim to Jamil’s room moreso than Jamil to Kalim’s room), that makes people looking on from the outside go 🤔 since they don’t know about Kalim’s duties and such. The end of ch4 and the rest of winter break is also SUPER awkward bc like. The feelings end up halfway out in the open but don’t get addressed and it’s just SO obvious by that point that it’s kinda ridiculous.
I feel like by the time they ACTUALLY get together after ch4, everyone in the Scarabia dorm, as well as some of Kalim and Jamil’s friends, will go “FINALLY” bc SERIOUSLY they’ve been disasters around each other for far too long 😔
#twisted wonderland#twst#kalim al asim#twst kalim#jamil viper#twst jamil#azul ashengrotto#twst azul#lilia vanrouge#kalim x jamil#twst lilia#rook hunt#twst rook#role reversed au#my stuff#responses
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rwrb winterfest - day 10 - snowflakes
@rwrb-fests
in which firstprince goes to a middle school dance bc i love little alex and henry so much!!
Alex knows tonight is going to be awesome! Normally, he wouldn’t be excited for a lame middle school formal, but he’s going to ask Nora Holleran to slow dance. She’s way too smart for him, but he can make her laugh like no one else can. It sounds like a bird, and being twelve, Alex can’t resist. If she says yes, this Winter Formal nonsense will all be worth it.
Outside, the D.C. air is chilly but bearable. Alex, his lacrosse friends, and their parents stand in front of his house, about to take pictures. His mother adjusts his red striped tie as he fusses with his black curly hair. June waits inside; she’s a high school volunteer tonight—much to Alex’s protests.
He shoos his mother away, slings an arm around his friend Liam, and smiles. His parents ready the camera, and Alex thanks Jesus they never fight in public.
Just behind closed doors when they think he and June aren’t listening.
The white Christmas lights shine behind the boys. His father tells them to focus and takes the picture. It catches Alex laughing at some joke Liam told, his eyes scrunched closed.
•••
Henry wouldn’t go to this thing if his mother weren’t forcing him. She reminds him it’s good practice for his future as he heads out the door to Bea’s car.
He hates these kinds of functions and having to socialize with people he doesn’t know and couldn’t be bothered to know. Because his mother is the British Ambassador, he’s gone to a few, but he doesn’t want a career in public office like the rest of his family. The Mountchristen name means something back home—they’ve had a few MPs, secretaries, and prime ministers—but that’s not Henry. He wants a quiet life away from the fuss.
A life in which he can finally be himself. And tell the truth. The Fox side of him.
Henry misses his father more than ever as Bea drives. Thank god, she’s here and playing Sufjan Stevens to match their moods. If his mother had been appointed any later, Bea would’ve been an ocean away like Philip—not that Henry misses his posh, Oxford brother all that much.
The buttons of Henry’s Burberry suit reflect the soft yellow glow of the streetlights outside. He knows he’s overdressed and that this will be the most expensive suit in the room, but it’s what his mother picked out. Yet another thing his classmates will pick on.
Especially Alex Claremont-Diaz.
Bea wishes him luck, and Henry groans as he gets out of the car. He really doesn’t want to be here.
•••
Alex dances in the center of the gym floor with his buddies to an Imagine Dragons song. Blue and white lights shine down on them. The whole place is covered in fake snow and light blue fabric. Shimmery snowflakes dangle from the ceiling. It’s cheesy, but Alex doesn’t care because he’s having a blast.
He just hasn’t been able to talk to Nora yet.
She’s been huddled with her friends from Tech Club all night. They’re watching something on a dude’s phone, and Alex knows that’s his in. He just has to make himself move in that direction.
An eighth grader, Pez, starts a dance circle and busts a few moves in his fluorescent clothes. Alex watches and cheers him on because everyone loves Pez. But they don’t love his best friend.
Ugh, Alex can’t stand that British guy, Henry. They may not be in the same grade, but they do Model UN together, and everything he says in that dumb accent riles Alex up. Partly because the girls—and some guys—swoon over him, taking some of the spotlight from Alex, and partly because Henry’s existence just irks him.
His perfect blonde hair. His judgmental blue eyes. His rich-boy wardrobe. The fact that he gets the right answer to every question asked of him. And the fact that he rides horses—like, riding outfit and everything.
Alex hates it all.
When a slow song comes on, he goes for Nora. She looks beautiful in a pale pink dress and with her hair done up in a bun. Alex feels stupid in his black church pants and white button-up.
Why didn’t he get June to help him pick out his clothes?
He asks Nora what they’re watching, and she tells him it’s an anime and laughs at something on the screen. After an awkward pause, he stutters out an invitation to dance. Thank Jesus, she says yes.
On the dance floor, he puts his hands on her waist, and she puts hers on his shoulders, and they sway to the music. A disco ball from the center of the gym casts sparkles all over them. This is their moment.
Which is why Alex asks her to go out with him.
Nora won’t meet his eyes, and Alex knows he screwed up. They’re just friends, she tells him.
His stomach hurts.
Alex misread the situation. He could puke right now. Nothing has felt this embarrassing. Not even last year when he dove for a volleyball in P.E., smacked his face on the floor, and chipped a tooth or in second grade when he called his teacher “mom” and the entire class laughed.
Nora comments on June’s dress to move the conversation forward, but Alex just nods. They finish the dance in silence, avoiding eye contact.
Alex’s face is hot and red. He doesn’t want his friends saying anything, so as soon as the song’s over, he thanks Nora and runs out of gym to the bathroom.
•••
For the most part, Henry is ignored by his classmates, which is good. He’s left to sit by himself at one of the tables. Someone sprinkled glitter all over the tablecloth, and flecks cling to his jacket sleeves. The speakers blast him with music, and the whole event is rather annoying, especially when chaperones bother him to ask if he wants anything or to encourage him to dance. Luckily, the high school girl serving punch just gives him a cup and tells him there’s only a few more hours left until they’re free.
Pez checks up on him every once in a while, but he craves a good party wherever he goes and only stays for a few seconds. Henry doesn’t mind. He scrolls on his phone, catching up on social media and eventually settling on a new Wolfstar fanfic. He peaks up from time to time to watch Pez try to impress the punch girl, but his eyes always end up on Alex.
He moves so easily. Whether it’s shaking his hips or fist-pumping to the beat or letting his head fall back in laughter, he just seems to handle everything so carelessly, so happily.
Henry envies him—can’t stand him because of it. There’s a ping in him every time he sees Alex.
Those curls. And soft brown eyes. The undeniable charm.
He walked into a Model UN meeting in glasses once, and Henry had a coughing fit and had to leave the room.
Don’t even get him started on the Spanish.
God, Henry cannot deal with these feelings right now. And he can’t find Alex in the crowd.
He stands up. Maybe he will dance. Maybe if he tries, he can think about something else. His father would want him to try. He’d give him a pep-talk and a hug that smells like his cologne and send Henry on his way. It’s how he convinced him to try polo and ask a girl to dance at his first gala.
Maybe this is good practice. To try to do things on his own.
But as Henry approaches a girl in his English class, someone scoots out their chair and trips him.
And Henry falls face first into a pile of fake snow.
The music still plays, but the students and chaperones are silent as Henry comes up covered in white clumps. It’s worse than the glitter on his suit, and it sticks to the gel in his hair. He feels the very last thing he wants: everyone’s eyes on him.
Henry excuses himself and leaves as fast as he can, stumbling into Pez and shirking him off on the way out.
•••
Alex finally feels cool again. He splashed some water on his face, unbuttoned his top button, loosened his tie, and rolled up his sleeves. He looks impossibly chill considering he was just dumped.
Okay, not dumped. But he definitely feels better. Like Rafael Luna, his dad’s best friend. Luna carries himself with a swagger that Alex can’t resist.
After he tousles his hair one last time, Alex walks out of the bathroom, only to find Henry covered in faux snowflakes, looking like the abominable snowman from Monsters Inc. But he’s not cheerful like the yeti. He furiously swipes at his pant legs with one hand and curses at his phone in the other.
“Oh, man! Rough night, huh?” Alex says.
Henry freezes. He sizes up Alex and scowls. “Could you not?” He goes back to his phone, “Bea, just come pick me up when you get this, all right? Please,” and then hangs up.
“You’ve never looked better, honestly. I dig the winter chic vibe,” Alex teases. This is best thing that could’ve happened; his friends aren’t even going to mention the Nora thing when he gets back in the gym. For once, he’s not upset Henry has upstaged him.
Henry mumbles something and shrugs off his suit coat to wipe it down. Snow flurries from his clothing onto the cream linoleum flooring.
“What was that?”
“I said, ‘Unbelievable!’ As in, ‘Of course, the universe hates me enough to put you here right now!’” Henry’s face reddens.
Alex can’t believe this guy. He’s practically a prince! What could be wrong with his life? Well, his father’s death, but that was a few years ago.
Alex googled Henry once or maybe twice—it’s irrelevant—and read about his famous father, who is Alex’s favorite Bond, for sure.
“So you messed up your suit? Big whup. I’m sure you have hundreds just like it. If not, the Fox-Mountchristen estate could probably cover it,” Alex says, crossing his arms. He’s surprised no adults have come to check on Henry. He’s not really sure what happened, but it was probably hilarious and well-deserved.
“You insufferable prick!” Henry shouts and throws the jacket at Alex. Before he can duck, it thwacks his face. He tastes the bitter snow in his mouth.
Alex scrunches it and throws it back. “You dickish, little drama king! You can’t handle the slightest bit of imperfection, can you? Heaven forbid, you’re knocked from your pedestal, and the rest of us mortals crack up!”
He knows this is stupid; he wouldn’t want people laughing at him either, unless it was intentional. In fact, he fled before his charismatic reputation was tarnished. Henry just brings something out of him—not the worst of Alex exactly, but the fight in him. Many a Model UN debates can attest to that.
Henry turns around and slams his fist against the black lockers. He flings the coat to the floor and leans on his forearm. “You haven’t got a clue, Alex,” he says. He sounds tired.
The muffled music from the dance echoes down the hallway. Posters on the walls and lockers advertise the dance, midterm tutoring, and the school-sponsored Spring Break trip to Peru. Alex watches Henry’s back go up and down with his breaths. A toilet flushes, and the sink is run before a girl walks out of the bathroom, past the boys, without a second glance.
Henry is right: Alex doesn’t have a clue. He knows people can hide their home lives. He hasn’t even told Liam about his parents fighting. How he’s heard the word “divorce” from both of them more than once.
And he’s pretty sure losing your father is worse than that; he wouldn’t know what to do without his own, no matter how much time had passed. And then to be moved across the sea to a new school, let alone a new country.
Damn. Alex sucks. And now he has to do something that would’ve made him throw up yesterday.
“Henry,” he says, “I’m sorry.”
•••
Henry can’t believe this—any of it.
Firstly, Alex Claremont-Diaz comes out of the bathroom as if he knew his nemesis was out there and wanted to catch him off-guard with his beautifully disheveled look. Henry blushes at the thought.
Secondly, after a row of which no teacher heard apparently, the aforementioned Alex Claremont-Diaz apologizes for the things he said. “Even though some of it was true,” he clarifies. Henry knows he’s right.
Thirdly, he and the godforsaken Alex Claremont-Diaz have been sitting next to each other on the floor for the past five minutes, just talking. Occasionally, Alex’s arm brushes against his and sends a tingle up his back.
If Henry didn’t know he was gay after consuming hours of Drarry and Wolfstar content, he knows now. As in, he finally realizes why he always looks for Alex in every room and why that boy gets under his skin so easily.
He definitely cannot go to a lacrosse game, ever. He might die.
The bright bulbs from the bathroom and the blue hue from the gym doors’ windows light the otherwise dim hallway. Henry can make out the Coldplay song coming from the dance and plays the piano chords on his knees. The smell of old sweat and cleaner lingers in the air.
Henry likes that Bea insisted on a normal American education for the two of them and that his mother actually agreed; he just doesn’t enjoy the smells that accompany the experience. Or the horrid cafeteria food, for that matter. He tells Alex as much.
“Totally,” Alex says. “It must’ve been hard moving here. Even if I think you and your uppity family are ridiculous, leaving your home behind would suck for anyone.”
“Yes, it does. But Mum got this great job, which she wasn’t going to take until my grandmother and my brother Philip encouraged her to. ‘You need a fresh start,’ they said. She agreed, though I think her attitude is more about survival rather than actual happiness,” Henry says. “I, for one, would prefer to be home where Dad taught me to play cricket on the back lawn.”
He sighs. Alex doesn’t need to hear this, and giving him more information to use against him or to poke fun of is a disastrous idea. But it does feel good to talk about his father with someone who doesn’t know him and barely knows Henry.
“I’m sorry about your dad,” Alex says. “I looked him up once, and he seems pretty cool.”
“He was, yes.” If Henry lets himself get too close to the cliff of grief, he’ll jump off and never be able to recompose himself, so he looks at Alex. “You looked me up?”
Alex sits up straight. “No, no! Your father!”
“You looked me up.” Henry smirks. His stomach flutters, and he doesn’t know what that means.
“I wanted to know what your deal was!” Alex says. “It’s not weird like that! I wasn’t stalking you or whatever.”
Henry laughs hard for the first time in a while. “I can’t believe I have enchanted you this much, Alex. What must I have done to peak your interest? Was it the defeat in during the foreign aid debate?”
“Okay, one, don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart,” Alex says, holding up a finger to silence Henry’s laughter, which it doesn’t. “And two, you were arguing on the behalf of an imperialist, asshole country. How was I, the humble yet fiery Mexican delegate, supposed to get you off your high horse after you started barking about your country’s economy?”
“Accept that I am the better diplomat.”
“I accept that you’re the bigger—what’s that British word? Wanker.”
Alex shoves him, but Henry shoves him right back. The two laugh together, and as it fades, Henry thinks that maybe they can finally get along—be friends, even. Though, he doesn’t know if that’ll make his heart race more or less when Alex is around.
“Want to go back in there?” Alex asks. “I know you’re still covered in fluff, but it’ll add to the ambiance.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
Just then, Henry’s phone rings, and Bea’s name flashes on the screen. When he answers, she tells him she’s outside. Henry looks at Alex. While he has relaxed since the incident because of him, he’s not quite ready to face the rest of the school.
But the hesitation is duly noted and will be thoroughly examined tonight as he tries and fails to fall asleep.
He tells Bea he’ll be out in a minute and hangs up. “My sister’s here,” he says.
Dare Henry say Alex looks a little disappointed? The space between his dark eyebrows crinkles, and he shoves his hands in his pockets after they both stand up.
“Well,” Alex says, “maybe you and I could prepare for the meeting on refugees together when we get back from winter break.”
Henry blinks. “All right. We could do it at mine if you like.”
“Sure. I’m dying to see the palace,” he says. “Let me just get your number.”
After they exchange phone numbers, Henry watches Alex walk back into the gym. Thank god, he isn’t wearing better trousers, or Henry might’ve blushed. Actually, it doesn’t matter; Henry feels his checks get hot.
Outside, real snow dusts the school’s steps. Henry spots Bea’s headlights and walks to the car, enjoying the cool night air. He slips inside as his sister asks what the hell happened.
He knows it’s not the question she meant, but in his head he answers, “Alex Claremont-Diaz.”
#okay so i actually loved writing this au a ton! :)#i just love little alex and henry so much!!!!!!#and i know it's a day late but it was worth it right??#my writing#rwrbwinterfest2020#rwrb fest#rwrb fanfic#rwrb#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#firstprince#bi disaster#gay as a maypole#red white and royal blue#june claremont diaz#nora holleran#pez okonjo#princess bea#president ellen claremont#oscar diaz#rafael luna#casey mcquiston#mlm#queer books#snowflakes#winter formal#middle school#rwrb au#fanfic
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Winter Love
HELLO hi @coffeecomicsgalore this is my @mlsecretsanta fic for you! I had so much fun writing this one, happy holidays! Massive thank you to @adrienettes-hamster for beta-ing!
Also on FFnet and AO3!
Mid-November is when the chill of the impending winter started to set in. Not cold enough for snow, but cold enough that Ladybug had begun to notice her kitty shivering while on patrols. Granted, she was quite cold herself, but she was handling it better than Chat Noir.
“Do you need to stop, Chat?”
“No, I’m fine,” he stuttered out between chattering teeth.
“Chat, go home and get warm. We can patrol again tomorrow night.” Her voice was soft but commanding, and his ears drooped. “I’ll bring some hot chocolate, okay?” His ears perked up a bit at the mention of that.
“Okay then. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he replied with a small smile, turning and bounding away with his staff.
She watched him for a moment before turning herself, luckily only needing to travel a few blocks to her own home. The dull light of the lamp she had left on before heading out cut into the darkness. It was still relatively early in the night, only around 9 o’ clock, but she knew that her parents would already be in bed, ready for next morning’s early rise.
Marinette landed on her balcony and hopped down through the skylight onto her bed before calling off her transformation. When Tikki swirled out of the earrings and into her hands, she was also shivering.
“Yeah, it is a bit too cold tonight,” Marinette mumbled to her as she cupped her hands around her kwami. “Let me grab us some hot chocolate, okay?” Tikki nodded, her little head bobbing up and down as vigorously as Chat’s jaw was. Marinette gently slid her onto her pillow then climbed down the ladder to the rest of her room, then the ladder to the rest of the apartment. Finding her favourite mug clean and ready to be used, she ducked down and grabbed the teacup she had hidden for Tikki. It was almost matching with her favourite design, covered with florals over a white background, and it had belonged to one of the dolls from her childhood doll house.
Marinette hummed while she filled the mugs with the still-steaming hot chocolate from the flask her mother had left out for her. She wondered whether or not it would snow soon, and if it would shut the school down. Would the snow mean Hawkmoth would slow down on attacks? Or would he send out more akumas?
She wondered about her friends. Alya would probably spend most of the time babysitting her sisters, Marinette by her side of course. Nora might be home for the winter. Nino would probably be glued to his computer, creating new tracks and networking with other DJs. Adrien…
Adrien would keep up his studies with Nathalie. Marinette knew how tough his dad was on him based on how detailed his schedule was. Mandarin lessons, fencing, piano, modelling and school? And she thought she was busy between school, sewing and saving Paris. Then again, saving Paris was never on a set schedule. She supposed she and Adrien weren’t too different in that aspect.
Adrien had been shivering a bit in class recently. While everyone else bundled up in their warmest sweaters and thermals, Adrien’s outfits didn’t seem to hold the same temperature. Did Gabriel favour style over comfort? The very thought burned Marinette.
She stopped pouring as she realised it was about to overflow her mug, and set the flask down with a hardened resolve. This Christmas, she was going to knit something warm for her two favourite people. The gears in her mind began ticking over as she thought of what to give each of them. She still had Adrien’s head measurements from when she created the hat for the contest a year or two back, and his body’s measurements from the designs she had made for her website... maybe a sweater? Or a beanie?
She didn’t have Chat’s measurements though. She supposed if she worked hard and fast enough she might be able to squeeze in a blanket. Now she had to think of patterns for both...
Marinette made her way back up to her room, carefully balancing the mugs in one hand as she pushed the trap door up then set them down on the floor to climb inside.
“Tikki?” She called out gently. “Hot chocolate has arrived.”
She set them down on the bench by her computer as she opened up her sketchbook. Knowing it would take longer, she began working on the blanket’s design, but stopped short as she realised that while she knew her partner, she didn’t really know him. She vaguely remembered his favourite colour was green, and funnily enough was a cat person, both literally and figuratively. Marinette began to worry that what she makes wouldn’t be good enough for him, or that he wouldn’t like it.
“What are you working on, Marinette?” Tikki asked sleepily while sipping her hot chocolate.
“Both Adrien and Chat Noir haven’t been dealing with the cold well, so I figured I’d knit them both something warm for Christmas,” Marinette replied as she began writing in some notes. Tikki peered over the book and looked back at Marinette.
“A blanket? Will you have time to make that? Christmas is only a month away.”
“I know, but I figured if I work on it in all of my spare time then I might be able to get it done in time. Hopefully there’s a few snow days in the next few weeks,” Marinette said as she glanced out the window. The window stubbornly continued to show no sign of snow, though there was the twinkling of stars between the clouds.
Tikki took another sip of her drink. “Who’s the blanket for?”
“Chat Noir. I have Adrien’s measurements, so I was thinking either a beanie or a sweater, but I’m not sure of Chat’s. What do you think?” Marinette picked up a green pencil and began to shade in the sketch. In each corner there was a small, blocky cat face with light whiskers.
“He does tend to wear that short sleeved top a lot. I think sweater.”
Marinette hummed and nodded in agreement. “I think you’re right. What about the middle of this?” She held the page up to Tikki, who had ditched the now empty cup and was snuggled into her neck. “I was thinking maybe the initials C.N. but that might be too obvious.”
“What about a Yin Yang symbol, but a ladybug as the white dot and whiskers on the black dot?”
“Tikki, you’re a genius!”
And so Marinette got to work, having most of the yarn colours she required already. Quite a few rows in, she started to nod off and, seeing that it was now well past her bedtime, climbed the ladder to her bed and whispered goodnight to Tikki.
----------------------------------------------------
“That’s… a lot of yarn, Marinette,” Alya said with mild concern. “You surely haven’t gotten this low by now?
Marinette shrugged, or at least shrugged the best she could with her arms piled up with rolls of yarn. “I’ve got a few commissions and wanted to be sure. I can use what’s left to make some gifts as well.”
Marinette had dragged Alya on a shopping trip for materials after school the next day. She had some pocket money saved up from chores and her birthday. Half an hour later, they emerged from the fabric store with a lot of yarn and some new shearing scissors, an early gift from Alya.
“Ooh, who’s commissioned you? It must be a big project!”
Marinette almost stumbled, unsure if she should tell Alya, even if she did have the perfect cover up for it. But then again, she knew her best friend.
“Uh, Ladybug commissioned a blanket as a gift for Chat Noir. Apparently they’re having a tough time on their night patrols with the chill.”
Alya’s eyes bugged out of her head and she squealed, “Oh my god, that is so cute! She’s totally in love with him!”
This time Marinette did really stop. “No way! She did not give off that vibe at all when she came around! It’s just really cold at night!”
“Babe, you don’t just commission a whole BLANKET for your friend!” Alya shook her by her shoulders, a few rolls threatening to fall out of Marinette’s arms, who gasped a loud “careful!”
“They’re friends, Alya, and friends can share a blanket when it’s cold. Can we please drop it?”
Alya huffed and rolled her eyes. “Sure, but you know I’m right!”
----------------------------------------------------
Later that night, Marinette was zooming through rows of knitting on her balcony. She barely stopped for a few bites of the dinner that her mother had brought up earlier. When her hands began cramping, she turned back to her sketchbook to work on the design for Adrien’s sweater. She figured it best to keep it simple, and made it light green in shade with darker green and black accents. When the cramping had lessened, she picked up the needles again and started knitting furiously again.
Around 8 o’ clock, Tikki nudged her and reminded her that she needs to meet up with Chat Noir. Marinette thanked her and transformed, grabbed the bag of treats she had snuck up earlier, then leapt off the balcony with her yoyo flying off into the distance.
She found Chat Noir on their rooftop an arrondissement away, huddled next to the chimney for warmth.
“Chaton, look what I brought!”
His ears perked up and his lips curved into a wide smile. “That doesn’t just smell like hot chocolate, m’lady. Is that…” his eyes lit up as she lifted the Dupain-Cheng bakery box out of the bag after the flasks, “croissants? And macarons?”
She matched his smile and replied, “all of the above, plus pain au chocolat. Only the best for the cat hero of Paris!” She had to set down the box quickly as he crushed her in a hug. She wrapped her arms around him as well, happy that he was happy. She didn’t miss his murmur of “what did I do to deserve you?” and simply hugged him tighter, almost shielding him from the cool wind. He let go after a few more moments, diving for the flask of hot chocolate and sitting against the chimney.
“Half hour of snacking before we make the rounds?”
“Works for me,” Chat Noir replied in between sips, visibly settling down as the drink warmed him up from the inside. “How did you get the Dupain-Cheng goods? Aren’t they closed by now?”
“They are, but I picked them up just before they closed for the day, so they’re pretty fresh.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, she did get them from the last batch her father made for the day.
Chat Noir hummed as he bit into a macaron, savouring the taste. “They are the best in town, no competition.”
“You’re not wrong there.” Ladybug took this moment of comfortable silence to take the top off of her flask and have a long drink of her hot chocolate. They sat together, shoulder to shoulder against the chimney and the wind started to settle down.
The sun had well and truly set by now, the moon as bright as ever with the stars shining like the streetlights below them. Tonight, there were no clouds, and nothing above them but the open sky. Ladybug loved the sight, and found it to be the second best perk of being a superhero, the first being partnered with Chat Noir. Her friend, Chat Noir, she thought, thinking back to Alya’s words earlier in the day. She was in love with Adrien and absolutely, definitely, totally had no such feelings for Chat Noir.
----------------------------------------------------
Marinette was exhausted, to say the least.
It was now the beginning of December, and the blanket was just over half done. She had resorted to bringing in her spare needles and knitting before and after class to start on Adrien’s sweater, and ignored anyone and everyone that asked about it with a small blush.
She also resorted to ignoring any pressing by Alya on Ladybug’s “commission” of the blanket, which had not died out as time had gone on. Alya wanted to know everything from the words Ladybug said to her expression and body language as she spoke about Chat Noir. Marinette now highly regretted giving in and telling her anything.
Thinking of the blanket, she thought about the surprise she was given when Chat Noir dropped in a few nights before.
A gentle rapping on the window shook Marinette from her concentration as she began a new colour for the Yin Yang. She looked around as she heard the telltale swoosh of Tikki hiding and saw Chat Noir waving from her balcony with a sheepish look on her face. She set down the blanket, laying it flat on the floor, and climbed up her ladder to open it.
“Chat Noir? What are you doing here?”
“Forgive me, but I saw your light on while I was out for a run. It’s getting very cold and my own place is a bit too far for me right now. Do you mind if I warm up in here for a few minutes?”
She wasn’t aware of any patrol they had planned. She double checked the day it was in her head and confirmed yes, it was their night off.
“O-Of course you can, would you like anything to eat or drink?” She moved aside for him to jump in, and watched as he looked around the room in wonder.
“Some hot chocolate, if you have any, please,” he replied, eyes moving from the chaise to the various mannequins and designs strewn about the room.
Marinette dearly hoped he wouldn’t know it was the same he had had just a few weeks ago, and a few times since as the temperature continued to drop.
“S-Sure thing, I’ll be right back.”
She climbed down after him, throwing a panicked glance to where Tikki was hiding and subtly gestured for her to follow. She climbed down the trapdoor to the kitchen and turned to Tikki.
“What is he doing here?” Tikki asked.
“I don’t know! It’s not patrol night! He’s going to recognise my recipe for sure!” She began to pace the kitchen.
“Calm down Marinette, he might just think you sell it here. You said you bought the treats from here didn’t you?”
“I mean yeah, but what if his civilian identity comes here often enough to know it’s not sold?” Marinette could not keep calm, but she kept her voice quiet. No need to freak out both her parents and her unexpected guest.
“New product for winter?”
That stopped Marinette in her tracks. “That could work.” Her nerves stilled, she grabbed two mugs and the flask, filling them and turning back to Tikki again with a smile. “You always know how to calm me down.”
Tikki giggled, “Kwami of luck and maybe logic as well. You best get back to him, we’ve been down here for a while now.”
As if on cue, they heard a soft knock on the door, and an even softer, “You okay down there?”
Marinette took the mugs by the handles, calling back, “Can you please open the door?”
The trapdoor opened as Marinette climbed up, and Chat Noir hastened to take one from her hand, and helped her up with his other one. Claws brushed her wrist as his grip tightened on her hand and while she shouldn’t have been surprised, his strength as he pulled her up caught her off guard slightly.
“I just couldn’t find my mug, I always have hot chocolate in it,” she raised her mug as she spoke.
“That’s a nice one. And this is really good,” he said, taking a sip. Marinette watched his eyes as a hint of recognition flickered over them, but he didn’t say anything about it.
“It’s a… family recipe. We just began selling it in the bakery for the winter.”
His face relaxed, and Marinette let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.
“What are you knitting?”
Man, if this cat didn’t stop. Sure, it’s an innocent question on his part, but Marinette was getting increasingly worried about hiding the truth.
“Oh! Uh, it’s a blanket for a friend of mine. They’re a… big fan of you and Ladybug.”
“And the other needles? I like the different shades of green on it.”
“That’s going to be a sweater, for another friend. He doesn’t seem to have a lot of warm clothes so I’m hoping this will help him.”
“That’s a really lovely gesture, Marinette. One of my friends is into fashion as well, you would get on great with her.”
Marinette hummed in agreement, then said, “I hope you don’t mind me returning to it, I’m trying to get them both done by Christmas.” “Of course not. I should get going now though,” he tipped his mug towards her, empty already, “Thank you very much for the drink, Princess.”
Marinette’s jaw dropped slightly and almost dropped her needles as well. “I-I… you’re welcome, a-any time.”
“I’ll take you up on that,” he replied suavely, adding a wink. Marinette waited until he was safely back out onto her balcony before rolling her eyes with a smile, and got back to her knitting. Stupid cat and his flirting.
Seeing that Madame Bustier was running late, she took Adrien’s sweater out of her bag and began to knit. She had switched out her small clutch for a larger, water-proof bag once she realised she’d need to bring the yarn and needles to class in order to finish it in time. Most of the class had been asking about it so far, including Nino and Alya, but Adrien had been quiet about it until now, when he walked in right as Marinette started another row.
“Hey Marinette, you’re early. What are you making?”
“Oh! Adrien, sweater- hi, uh, I mean-”
“It looks great so far. Green would look nice on you.”
Marinette squeaked and went bright red. “O-oh, uh, thank you, but it’s for a friend,” she giggled nervously.
“Well then, they’re a lucky friend!” Adrien smiled as he began unpacking his notebook and pencil case, and turned to the front. Madam Bustier walked in a moment later, gesturing for Marinette to put away the needles. Marinette didn’t miss the slight shiver that Adrien had to his frame, nor the goosebumps beginning to raise on his arms and the back of his neck.
----------------------------------------------------
“Chat Noir!”
It was the week before Christmas, and Marinette was in the home stretch of finishing this blanket. She was knitting on her balcony, hot chocolate by her side and just sheltered from the light snowfall. But now, she could just see the silhouette of the cat hero a few roofs away. He turned his head in surprise and as a result, almost fell off of his staff. She waved her hand, gesturing for him to come over to her.
As he got closer, she called out, “What are you doing out in the snow? It’s way too cold for someone in a skin-tight suit to be out here!”
“But Princess, you’re out here too!” he called back, now standing in front of her.
“I am wrapped up in sweaters and fuzzy pants, with a blanket over me, not a skin-tight suit, as I said! You should be at home, as warm and wrapped up as I am,” she finished on a gentler note as his ears drooped.
“I… don’t want to be home right now. I got into a fight with my father. Can I stay here for a bit?”
Her heart dropped and her eyes filled with sympathy for him. She knew it was a bad situation, but not leave-the-house-in-the-middle-of-winter bad. “Of course you can.”
She opened the skylight, carefully plopping down her almost-finished blanket and needles, then climbed in after it. He shook the snow from his hair, passed her half-empty mug of hot chocolate to her and hopped down onto the bed. She put the mug on a ledge next to her bed and said, “Do you need a hug?”
Almost immediately, he wrapped her in a bear hug not unlike the one he gave Ladybug a few weeks prior. She raised her arms just in time and curled them around his neck and if she happened to feel a tear or two slide onto her shoulders, she didn’t mention it.
Her hands weaved themselves into his wild hair, holding him close. She stayed silent, knowing words couldn’t convey the comfort she tried to give him. His arms were so long, they almost doubled back to himself. Together, they shivered, as he cried onto her shoulder silently and the wind blew through the skylight above. She untangled one of her hands to reach up and close it, but Chat Noir took this as a sign to let go and step back. Her other hand still tangled, she lost balance and they fell, Chat Noir landing on top of her as she hit the bed with an “oof!”
Marinette drew in a sharp breath as Chat Noir’s head hit her collarbone. That’s going to leave a bruise, she thought with a wince.
“I’m so sorry, are you alright?”
“Yeah, just knocked the breath out of me,” she replied, finally removing her hand from his hair. She sat up as he hurried to get off of her and sat at the end of her bed, both of their eyes wide open.
“So, um-”
“I-”
They both tried to speak at once, giggling when they stopped. Chat Noir gestured for her to speak first, so she did.
“Do you want some hot chocolate?”
“Please,” he replied gratefully, moving aside so she could climb down the ladder, following after her. She returned after a few minutes, setting their mugs down next to her computer. “Can you pass me down the blanket, please? I’m so close to finishing,” she asked as she held out her arms for it to be dropped into. She stumbled when it landed; it felt heavier than she expected it to be. Oh well, she thought, this means it should be extra warm.
She got settled in her desk chair, the blanket flowing down past her feet as Chat Noir settled on her chaise with his mug. They sat in a comfortable quiet, the only sounds in the room coming from the whirring of her computer, the clacking of the needles and a sip from Chat Noir every once in a while. She’d look up from time to time, and see his bright eyes staring back at her with a shy interest. There were hints of dried tears on his face, and she subtly elbowed the tissue box beside her towards him.
At last, she finished the last row of the blanket. She cast off, spreading it out on the floor and stepped back to look at her work. Chat Noir joined her, looking over it in wonder.
“How long did this take you?”
“Just under a month. I’ve been knitting as fast as I can and spent almost every waking moment on it. Except for when I’ve been at school, which I spent working on this,” she said as she pulled out the sweater for Adrien. “It’s for my friend Adrien. His father doesn’t really let him wear clothes that would give him comfort. I mean, I get that as a model he’s always representing the brand, but what kind of father chooses style over comfort for his own son? I’m surprised he hasn’t frozen to death already,” she tried to lighten the end of her rant as she realised she was getting angry.
He took a gentle hold on her elbow, and she looked up to face him. He had an odd look on his face, like he was embarrassed, though he had no reason to be.
“You’re an amazing friend, Marinette, and I’m sure he is going to love yo- it.”
She beamed at his praise and set it down on the chair, hugging him again with her whole body, his own arms wrapping tightly around her.
“Thank you for the hot chocolate, but I think I should go before my father realises I’m gone.”
She squeezed him tighter for a moment and whispered, “Will you be okay there? You know you’re welcome at any time, okay?”
He squeezed her back and replied, “I think I’ll be okay, but I will let you know,” and stepped back, taking care to not step on the blanket. She watched as he climbed the ladder and up onto the balcony, only looking back to wave her goodbye. She waved in reply then folded the blanket up, putting it into the bag she had reserved for patrols.
With only half a sleeve to go, she picked up the needles and set herself back down on the chair, continuing her work on Adrien’s sweater.
----------------------------------------------------
Conveniently enough, the next morning was announced to be the last school day before holiday break, as the weather predicted heavy snowfall for the coming days. Unfortunately though, it gave Marinette only today to give the now-completed sweater to Adrien. It was wrapped and labelled to and from (both Marinette and Alya made sure of it) but Marinette was frozen when she reached the classroom, causing Alya to bump into her back.
“Marinette! You can do this,” she heard her hiss, but she just couldn’t. There Adrien was, sitting and laughing at something Nino had said. She squeaked, almost losing her balance trying to step forward, which caught Adrien’s attention.
“Hey Marinette! What’s that you have there?”
Alya nudged her, and this time she did start to slip. This is how I die, she thought with a great internal sigh.
Quick as lightning, Adrien was in front of her, keeping her steady with concern masking his face.
“You okay?”
Marinette couldn’t do anything but stammer. “U-uh, you, I- gift! For you!”
“F-For me?”
He looked down to her hands, which were now shaking with the present between them.
“I-I mean…” Marinette looked helplessly back to Alya, who gave her a gentle nod, then looked back to Adrien and took a deep breath. “Yes, it’s for you. Merry Christmas, Adrien.”
The whole class was silent now, watching the two. Even Chloe watched, clearly fuming with a glare in Marinette’s direction.
He took it from her gently, their hands brushing for a moment. Marinette could swear she felt a spark, something warm in the cold room when they touched, but it disappeared as the package left her hands. She didn’t expect for him to set it down and sweep her into a hug so loving it reminded her of Chat N- no. No feelings for Chat Noir, only Adrien.
“Thank you,” he whispered into her ear with a squeeze.
In the middle of winter, Marinette felt like she was on fire. She tentatively raised her arms to hug him back, only for him to step back at the same moment and suddenly she was cold again.
“You’re welcome,” she whispered back as he turned away to open the gift. His eyes lit up with happiness as he unfolded the sweater, gushing, “I’m the lucky friend?!”
Marinette giggled, “You have my lucky charm, remember?”
That made Adrien snort, “Marinette, I think you are my lucky charm.”
The class dissolved into a chorus of “aww’s” and the two suddenly remembered where they were, both blushing furiously. Fortunately for them, Madame Bustier walked in to start seconds later.
He wore the sweater proudly for the rest of the day, and home, as far as Marinette saw.
----------------------------------------------------
“Tikki, spots on!”
Later that night, Marinette transformed once again into Ladybug. She made sure the lamp was on and her goodie bag was secured around her body before launching off of the balcony towards their meeting place for patrols. The snow was falling lightly, looking magical in the night. Chat Noir was already there, holding his own bag that fell by the side of the swea- sweater?
Her jaw dropped and she almost missed her target with the yoyo. Chat Noir caught on evidently as his face dropped with fear and he reached out for her.
“Ladybug, are you okay? What happened there?”
“Where did you get that sweater?”
His face split into a grin as he ran his claws along the accents. “Oh, isn’t it so cool? A friend gave it to me for Christmas!”
The pieces both fell together and shattered at the same time. Her face dropped in shock. “But I… y-you… I mean… Adrien?”
His mouth fell open and he stuttered back, “M-Marinette?”
They stared at each other in shock for a few moments before Chat Noir snorted, which made Ladybug break and they both just burst into laughter. It felt unbelievable, but made so much sense to the pair. The two who always got everyone to safety so they could be alone; they felt like idiots. Finally their laughter died down, but as Ladybug brought out the Dupain-Cheng box, they started up again. More things began making sense and they couldn’t help themselves.
They found their way to each other, holding on like they’ve been separated for years.
“I can’t believe it’s you,” Ladybug mumbled. Chat Noir’s body shielded her from the oncoming snow as they held each other.
“I can’t believe it either. We thought we were smart,” he laughed, and she could hear his smile.
“You’re gonna love this then,” she stepped back and opened her back, pulling out the blanket. She actually thought he might cry then and there. She held it towards him, who took it with such soft hands.
“You made this, for me?”
“I didn’t know your measurements- well, as it turns out I do, but I figured it would be something for us to keep warm under before patrols.”
“Marinette, I love you.”
They both paused, the phrase seemingly slipped out on its own, but she couldn’t help but reply, “I love you too.”
Winter patrols suddenly became a lot warmer.
#writing#fanfic#mlsecretsanta#ml secret santa#coffeecomicsgalore#mlsecretsanta2020#miraculous ladybug#mlb#adrien#marinette#chat noir#ladybug#marichat#adrienette#ladrien#ladynoir
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Hiya I meant to send you asks like forever ago but I'm bad so I didn't do that so here they are now they're from this ask prompt thing you reblogged
Feel free to answer these about any of your OCs cause I don't really remember any except rabbit and Knight so~
1, 10, 25, 29, 33, 37, 46, 50, 61, 63, 78, 80, sorry there's so many you don't have to answer them all, I am just cursed with insatiable curiosity only balanced out by my fear of asking too many questions and being annoying—
Hi!!! You’re not bad!! You’re one of the coolest aliens ever!!!!
I am absolutely answering them all with multiple OCs because I will take every opportunity I get to talk about them.
Putting it under a cut because it is LONG and I don't wanna bother.
1. What is their gender?
The Knight: (she/her)
Rabbit: agender but they use (they/them) pronouns
The Apprentice: (he/him)
Dijon: (he/him)
Julienne: (she/her) (they/them)
Monty: (he/him) (they/them)
Diana: (she/her)
Captain Pumpernickel: (he/him)
William: (he/him)
10. What are some of their talents/skills?
The Knight: Swordfighting, Dancing, pottery
Rabbit: Parlor magic, puppetry, Acting
The Apprentice: collecting, Dunescotch [the world's rough equivalent of chess], chemistry
Dijon: cooking, writing, gardening
Julienne: biking, photography, bird watching
Monty: people watching, bingo, garage sales
Diana: fencing, archery, calligraphy
Captain Pumpernickel: Singing, acting, swordfighting
William: whittling, philosophy, accordion
25. What is their biggest flaw?
The Knight: her naivete
Rabbit: Their reluctance to be vulnerable
The Apprentice: His aversion to change and the unknown
Dijon: his self-pitying nature
Julienne: Her self-centeredness
Monty: his...not quite human-ness
Diana: She’s uptight
Captain Pumpernickel: hooboy where do I start? For one, his complete and utter dismissal of everything that doesn’t contribut to ADVENTURE
William: his lack of ambition
29. How would they describe their own personality?
The Knight: “Hmmm. I try to be as nice as possible and I’ve been told I’m rhapsodic! I don’t think my singing’s that good but it’s a sweet compliment!”
Rabbit: “Witty. Yes. Sarcastic? Yes. The people’s demon? In more ways than one~ Even hell can’t handle me.”
The Apprentice: “Simple, studious, and an enjoyer of quiet studying. I tend to be rather straight-forward in my methodology.”
Dijon: “God do I even have a personality? What am I besides a vaguely human shaped pile of mistakes and disappointments?”
Julienne: “A fun loving fun person!”
Monty: “Just your average Earth person! Nothing else to see!”
Diana: “Calm, cool, collected, the perfect dignitary”
Captain Pumpernickel: “AN ADVENTURER! And a lover! Of your mother! Bring out the good ale my good fellows! Your captain has won another battle of the wits!”
William: “Personality? Never heard of it. Wouldn’t even begin to know what the word means. I know no such words such as sarcastic, laid-back, carefree. Nooooo.”
33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it?
The Knight: Being ignored and unheard. She’d probably get really frustrated and maybe cry a little as a result. If it really got to her, she’d need help being pulled out of a dark place.
Rabbit: Abandonment. Their general reaction to it is to put on a veneer of not caring and close off from the outside world more, even going so far as to act annoying and unlikable so that people leave before getting close.
The Apprentice: Not knowing. Or, by extension, not being able to learn. He’d probably lash out in anger and storm off.
Dijon: Being an unredeemable person. He faces it every day and he deals with it by being melodramatic in all of his writings and wallowing in misery. AKA, not dealing with it.
Julienne: People being genuine. They’d probably get really uncomfortable and try to excuse themselves from the conversation or make jokes to redirect the conversation.
Monty: The republic finding him hiding out on Earth. He’d fight or do anything possible out of desperation.
Diana: Being a disappointment
Captain Pumpernickel: Not being able to bang your mom not having adventures with his crew. He'd probably be reduced to a shell of his former self.
William: Not being able to talk his way out of a situation.
37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it?
The Knight: Pretty easy but she means it when she says it. She's just full of love tbh.
Rabbit: It's really hard for them to say "I love you". Really really hard. Especially at the start of their arc, they would never say it, however much they mean it.
The Apprentice: It's hard for him to say, simply because it's not quantifiable enough. How does one properly explain how much they love someone? He prefers showing love through actions and more direct compliments.
Dijon: It's not easy for him to say, but he says it without meaning it, both knowingly and unknowingly.
Julienne: She doesn't say it often, but she says it to the people she cares about occasionally. She prefers to say it through time spent and physical touch though.
Monty: The Dude Loves Everything. But they also barely understand the meaning of the word so...
Diana: She doesn't say it almost at all, but prefers to use acts of service and gift giving.
Captain Pumpernickel: He never says "I love you" because he usually doesn't really mean it. He'll use some other compliment or compound of it.
William: He doesn't throw it around easily, so when he says it, it has so much more weight behind it.
46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions?
The Knight: She expresses her emotions a lot and very easily, but she has a hard time hiding them.
Rabbit: They think they're sly at hiding their emotions, but they let micro-expressions slip constantly. If anyone decided to notice, one would
The Apprentice: He's a blank sheet baybee. What is he thinking? Unless it's frustration or anger, you'll never know.
Dijon: He's just kinda sad all the time. He's miserable and everyone notices.
Julienne: She allows some emotions to come through. It's a bit of a calculated effort.
Monty: All of his emotions come through all the time and he doesn't mind.
Diana: Well, she hides her sadness and happiness, but allows her frustration and such to shine through.
Captain Pumpernickel: He expresses emotions very openly and very loudly. He is a dramatic ham of a captain.
William: He keeps a near perpetual smile that occasionally wavers when things go wrong. He doesn't like to open up emotionally.
50. How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing?
The Knight: "fun and comfy!" Light armor with room for mobility but colorful
Rabbit: "...sexy" literally naked except a cloak.
The Apprentice: "practical and sensible" like a fucking nerd
Dijon: "presentable" the best time to wear a sweater, is all the time
Julienne: "quirky" quirky.
Monty: "human clothing for humans! :D" weird mixture of 1800s stuff and modern day stuff. Weird guy.
Diana: "regular??? Clothes???" Fancy ballgown at first then swashbuckling but still expensive.
Captain Pumpernickel: "EXTRAVAGANT AND ASTOUNDING" sexy hobo pirate.
William: "only the highest tier clothing/s" ...rags. doesn't care enough.
61. Which season is their favorite season?
The Knight: Spring
Rabbit: Autumn, harvest festivals and such are good for demons.
The Apprentice: Winter, you have excuses to stay inside and work. Plus the vibe is nice when it's harsh outside and cozy inside
Dijon: Summer, fewer holidays and he's not really cold resistant.
Julienne: Summer. They like the general vibe and popsicles and shorts and sunglasses and such.
Monty: Winter, they love the holidays.
Diana: Summer, she likes the heat.
Captain Pumpernickel: Autumn! He just thinks the weather and vibe are RIPE FOR ADVENTURE!
William: Winter! He like staying inside and the cold.
63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile?
The Knight: her partner! Or a silly joke! Or a delicious snack! Or friendship!
Rabbit: schadenfreude
The Apprentice: order and productivity
Dijon: his favorite childhood book
Julienne: her pet rats! Or pet frog!
Monty: A human thing like paperclips
Diana: this one is a hard one. Succeeding at any of her hobbies.
Captain Pumpernickel: ADVENTURE. and friends
William: seeing Diana smile and be free.
78. Who do they consider to be their best friend?
The Knight: The prince!
Rabbit: the Knight
The Apprentice: books
Dijon: julienne
Julienne: no one. Monty is close.
Monty: ALL HUMANS ARE BEST! AND FRIENDS!!
Diana: no one [William eventually]
Captain Pumpernickel: The sea. And his first mate. And his quartermaster.
William: no one [Diana eventually]
80. Are they a morning person or a night owl?
The Knight: Morning person
Rabbit: Night Owl
The Apprentice: Morning Person
Dijon: Night Owl
Julienne: Morning Person
Monty: Morning Person
Diana: Morning Person
Captain Pumpernickel: Morning Person
William: Night Owl
#arc-gx#17th#February#2021#February 17th 2021#THIS TOOK FOREVER#IM SO SORRY#FINALLY GOT THROUGH THEM ALL#THIS WAS FUN#THANK YOU#dante babbles
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WHAT TO BUY THE SHADOWHUNTER WHO HAS EVERYTHING (And Who You're FINALLY Officially Dating... And More)
SUMMARY: In compliance with our roleplaying group's winter holidays special activity, following the prompt: “Someone has just become fabulously wealthy and is picking out gifts for their family.”
RATING: G
CHARACTER/S: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Max Lightwood-Bane
TAG/S: rpgroup, writing challenge, romance, winter holidays, christmas
also @ ao3
Last minute Christmas gift-shopping was always a terrible idea. Either things would be out of stock by that point or nothing much of worth would be left on the shelves. Not to mention the surprising long lines that still exist that late into the holidays. Not to mention having to deal with ill-tempered customers in line with you and the frustrated staff who had to be stuck at work instead of spending the last few days before Christmas preparing for their own celebrations at home. But that's not always the case, not if you were like Magnus who knew exactly where to go.
Everywhere you looked in the Liberty Mall were a festoon of lights, ribbons, tinsels, shiny ornaments, and faux evergreens decked along escalators, archways, and guardrails. A massive Christmas tree that reaches up to almost the third floor of the mall, stood tall at the center of the atrium. This was the place to be in Manhattan for Magnus's quick, at-the-very-last minute shopping spree. All the shops were still open despite it being Christmas Eve already but there weren't a lot of people there compared to other stores and strips around Manhattan around this time in the afternoon. The reason for that most likely had something to do with the stores there being lavishly-priced luxury stores. And that was most unfortunate for him since he liked the attention and stares he'd get for the captivating outfits he usually wore.
Today he had on black leather pants, a studded black belt that looped around his waist twice, and a blood red wool overcoat open over a white wool deep V-neck sweater. A pair of gold thin rimmed sunglasses sat neatly over his coiffed hair and his face was subtly slathered with silver bits of glitter just over his eyelids and out towards the outer corners of his eyes. At least there were still some store managers to dazzle, he thought, perhaps he'd even get discounts as it sometimes often happens to him. Not that he needed any discounts. He had a perfectly wonderful yet complicated relationship with money that never really failed him even at times when he'd end up with nothing but the shirt on his back. He could get himself anything he wanted and anything anyone else wanted. Which is how he ended up going for a last minute shopping spree in the first place.
He didn't have to be there. Personally Magnus wouldn't really bother with shopping "traditionally" for anything. He could just conjure up anything from somewhere and compensate for them later, that is if he remembers to do so, and it was more reliable than online shopping. But now that he was practically sharing his life with Alec, some changes with his lifestyle had to be made. His roguish shopping habits weren't something Alec particularly liked leaving the warlock no choice but to oblige.
He sauntered through the marbled floors of Liberty Mall, going in store after store to pick out presents for tonight's party. It was a gathering at the Institute, mostly a Shadowhunter event despite other Downworlders like him being invited and despite Christmas not exactly traditionally celebrated among the Nephilim. It was an excuse to have a party for the holidays and a way to have their growing families gather together for a night. He wasn't in charge of organising this party, a mistake and a tragedy for them if you'd ask Magnus. He would've done it for free if they asked but the other people who aren't his friends and family that will be there were still predisposed into thinking Magnus would have turned it into a Downworlder rave. At least it was Isabelle helming the celebration, he could count on her to pull off something he would still enjoy despite the restraints of the ever-so-uptight Nephilim traditions.
It was easy enough to think of gifts for the women in his life since fashion was always the answer. He went to every big-named fashion houses at Liberty and was immediately entertained by store attendants, likely believing he might be someone important or famous with the way Magnus always carried himself. And if not that, it was the wads of cash he'd fan and flaunt to their faces, Magnus always wanted to do that. Isabelle was easy to give gifts to since she was always more than willing to try out anything Magnus recommends and her taste and style was to his liking. He simply got her anything he thought would look good on him if he was a woman. Maryse, much like her daughter was somewhat easier to give gifts to. Some jewelry here, designer coats and handbags here and there. They didn't always see eye to eye but ever since his little blueberry, Max, came around, Maryse had softened, even Robert too. She'd often invite him over just to chat, although he was certain she just wanted to spoil little Max. But it did give him the opportunity to get close to her and know her well which also pleased Alec.
Lily was another person he found to be easy to gift to, she'd accept almost anything fancy he gave her, even the not-so-fancy ones he'd sometimes trick her into believing were fancy. Clary on the other hand was slightly more difficult as to this day she still had little to no fashion sense and would deny him the opportunity to enlighten her about the latest fashion trends. Even Maia was easier to bend, provided it came along with a couple of board games and video games. But that won't stop him from trying. He didn't want to force Clary into things that would be uncomfortable for her even if they are trendy. He didn't want to change her, he only wanted to open her eyes to different possibilities than just sticking with something safe and casual. Good thing Jocelyn wasn't as difficult as her daughter. He got her some clothes and jewelry but of course he had to give her the finest brushes and paints as well as coffee table books on art. He was certain Clary would be jealous of them but she'll have to up her fashion game first before he gives her anything she actually wanted.
Men were difficult to give gifts to, he thought. If they weren't anything like him who had a taste for all the pretty and stylish things in the world, he wouldn't be enjoying even thinking about what to give them. Raphael and Ragnor were the exceptions since their gifts were almost exclusively joke gifts and expensive ones at that. But, well, it wasn't possible to do that anymore. He completely rushed through gifts for Jace, Simon, Luke, and Robert and got them simple, not-as-thoughtful as the rest gifts. A set of throwing knives from Japan and a set of Scandinavian hunting knives were for Jace. Simon gets to inherit some of the rare comic books in his possession that were still in mint condition. He threw in a couple of the latest computer games in there just to say he actually bought him something. Luke also gets a set of first editions of books he had owned for centuries; he figured he wouldn't mind that they were used books. But he also got him some new clothes and shoes. Magnus appreciated his alternative, scruffy vibe but he can't wear plaid and worn out boots every single day of the week, that's just preposterous, especially when he has to stand next to a lovely woman such as Jocelyn. And for Robert he got him a pair of watches and a set of fashionable ties, dads liked those kinds of things, right?
He also threw in mugs with designs that he thought would fit for everyone like "Nothing Less Than Seven Inches" for Isabelle. "World's Best Grandma and Grandpa" for Maryse and Robert respectively, "Life Is Short And So Am I" for Clary, "I'm A Vampire Let Me Suck You Off" for Lily, things like that. Nobody likes getting mugs, especially not for Christmas, but he had already prepared expensive gifts for them, surely they wouldn't mind the mugs.
He was empty-handed again after sending away the novelty mugs he got for everyone. His loft must look like Santa's Workshop by now with the amount of gifts he sent back there, he was hoping to get back and do some wrapping before Alec and Max comes home. He looked out the glass panes of the side of the mall to see that the sky was still a bluish gray of daylight, and the horizon was just turning into a faint shade of purple. It's only been a couple of hours but going through all those stores felt like a lengthy ordeal. Next year he wouldn't be so generous, he thought, he'll only do it again in ten years or twenty.
Now all that's left was his own little family. Alec and Max. Max and Alec. My family. He kept repeating the thought in his mind. Even if it's been years since he and Alec were together and well over a year since Max came into their lives, it was still a bit odd for him to think that this was all real if he was being honest, but it was all real. Being with Alec was real. Having Max with them was real. He doesn't really show it but even Magnus was still trying to get used to the idea.
Max was not difficult to think of a gift for, what was difficult was restraining himself from spoiling him; Max was such a cute baby it was really difficult not to do so. If Magnus had it his way he would've spoiled him to death, even Maryse was quite eager to do just that, but Alec wasn't going to have any of that, and he was right on this one. Still, it was Christmas, so he got Max some stuffed toys and a rideable toy car that looked very much like the black Maserati he and Alec rode through France last summer. He hoped for the best that Alec would let this slide becuase Max would look really cute in it, provided he didn't float away with it.
Alec was the last person he would be getting a gift for. Magnus could have made an excuse for himself that this was because he saved the best for last but really Alec was the first person he tried to think of a gift for, the moment he woke up this morning to be exact, and since then he hasn't settled on what to actually give him. Magnus wondered how you could love someone so passionately and even know that someone all too well for quite some time, yet you still find yourself having difficulties with thinking of what to gift said someone.
Magnus took respite in a garden cafe on the first floor of the Liberty Mall. He had one of their special winter lattes that were sweet and minty cool to taste while still thinking of a gift for Alec. He knew he couldn't ask anyone else for their opinions, he learned that lesson the last time he tried to think of a gift for Alec on his eighteenth birthday. He could always ring up Isabelle but he figured she would still be busy with organising things for tonight. Scrolling through articles online on his phone didn't help much either since they found them all too tacky and incredibly heteronormative for his liking. He sighed and put down his phone and took a sip from his latte.
His eyes lingered on the stuffed toys sitting inside the toy car he recently bought for Max just sitting next to his chair. He hadn't sent it away to his loft yet since seeing it gave him some sort of comfort. Looking at the car closely made him remember of his time in France with Alec again. That was the time where they finally managed to redo their European trip without having anything to do with demons and cultists. He has been in and out of France far too many times since the Belle Époque but that summer felt like a brand new experience with Alec. Magnus showed him all the places he had fallen in love with in the quaint countrysides of France and Alec showed him how to fall in love with them all over again. He told Alec about how he felt about that and Alec told him how much he looked forward to seeing the world with him. That was a promise that made Magnus believe that what they had was something for the long run, that he would be loving Alec for a long time. And that's when it hit him. He finally figured out what to give Alec.
Magnus's loft never looked so bright and festive unless it was because of his parties. It has been a long time since he last threw one and it was before Max came along. Tonight, his living room was ornamented by the dreamy and warm hues of gold, beige, cream, and white. The usual colours of reds, greens, yellows, and blues were much too gaudy for Magnus's vision of Christmas that year. The only greens in sight were the garlands lined all over the place and the tree sitting at the center of the room, swathed with gold and silver tinsels and ornaments as well as strings of fairy lights. Sitting by the floor and standing about as high as half of the tree were the presents he had bought earlier in the day. Magnus had already changed into the suit he would be wearing tonight. Alec had warned him that he might get looks from people since he would be wearing white when it's not a funeral. Not that Alec really minded but thought he should let him know anyway. Magnus thought that would be ridiculous, he'd be wearing chanterelle beige not white and he would very much like to get looks from people. And that was that, no one could tell Magnus how to dress anyway.
He was surrounded by lights and sparks of blue as he did his magic, as he was still in the middle of boxing and wrapping the last batch of presents when he heard the door swing open. Without pause, he looked over the side of the tree and looking past the mountain of presents to find Alec with an astonished expression on his face. He was also already in his outfit for tonight which was something he asked Magnus to pick for him. He wore dark brown dress pants and brown overcoat over a cozy beige turtleneck sweater that let him look somewhat formal without sacrificing comfort. He would have just worn something semi-formal but knowing Magnus, he wouldn't have let him look too simple next to him. Alec was carrying a little blueberry of a baby in his right arm, wearing a little black and white onesie suit. The little blue warlock was looking far more cheery than Alec at the sight of the presents. Or perhaps he just had a nice mix of milk in his bottle that day, Magnus couldn't quite tell with Max sometimes.
"Did you just rob the North Pole?" asked Alec.
"Of course not! And even if I did, I'd say it's fair game, that jolly old bastard owes me," Magnus just finished tying the final bow on the last gift in the pile when he walked over to where Alex and Max was.
"...Santa Claus is real?"
"Absolutely, and he's a warlock too. I thought that was common knowledge," said Magnus then planted a kiss on Max's temple.
Alec was not always sure whether Magnus was making things up especially when it comes to warlock things and his warlock friends but that wasn't what's important right now.
"You paid for all this, right?"
"I did and here are the receipts to prove it," with a quick snap of a finger there appeared a clipboard of receipts popping up from a blue swirl of light, floating right in front of Alec's line of sight.
Magnus spoke almost too proudly about legally acquiring his gifts. Alec had been persistent in guilting him with the things he'd conjure from somewhere without paying after all. Magnus picked up Max from Alec's grasp before Alec started flipping through the receipts. Then suddenly a gasp was heard.
"By the Angel, Magnus! Twenty thousand dollars just for clothes?" Alec asked, having a more audible and greater shock than the one he had when he came in earlier causing Max to look up at Magnus as if he could understand and was looking at him for answers.
"They were Dior," Magnus simply explained.
"Seventeen thousand dollars for a watch?" Alec continued flipping.
"Two watches actually, believe me that's already cheap, I hope your father doesn't mind."
"How could you even afford all this?" He asked as he still continued flipping but should really be stopping at this point.
"The painting I sold off the other day remember? It was worth millions apparently,"
"Millions?" Alec looked at Magnus with an even greater expression of disbelief than when he started flipping through the receipts.
"This is why I don't want to talk money with you, you look like you're about to faint," Magnus spoke calmly as he held Alec's face in his free hand hoping it would calm Alec down as well.
"Remind me not to ask next time," Alec nodded then sighed. Magnus looked at him, a bit of worry evident on his face but Alec gave him a reassuring smile, "As long as you actually paid for things."
"Yes, dad, I don't do that thing anymore," Magnus quipped with a smile and dipped in for a kiss on Alec's cheek.
"How are we getting all this to the Institute?"
"Darling."
"Right, magic. Almost forgot. Well, we better go ahead, Izzy will kill me if we're late."
"Wait, I'm sure Izzy won't mind us being fashionably late. I want to give you your present right now," said Magnus then passed Max back to Alec's arms.
"You look serious," Alec noted as he let Max nestle comfortably in his right arm.
"Just nerves. I'm not sure why when I know you wouldn't say no."
"No?"
A whirl of blue light appeared in the palm of Magnus's hand. When the glowing light dissipated, underneath it was a small red velvet box. Magnus could see Alec was already too stunned to say anything. He stared at the box in the warlock's hand for a moment and then back at Magnus. His brilliant blue eyes seemed like they were glistening as their eyes met and Magnus felt his heart warm up at the sight of Alec's smile.
Magnus opened the box and cushioned inside were a pair of rings. One had a round ocean blue diamond set in an intricate basket of flame filigrees, setting on top of a half-braided white gold band. The other ring was a bit bigger in size with an emerald cut blue diamond framed with blue melee diamonds.
"You paid for this too, right?" Alec finally spoke, Magnus almost laughed.
"Darling."
"Sorry, nerves."
"It's my promise to you, my love," said Magnus. "I still stand by what I said the last time we spoke about it, that I won't have you marry me until you, until we, can marry in gold. You deserve nothing less and I can't have you settle for less just because you chose to be with me. I want these rings to be a promise and a reminder for us everyday when we might glance upon it that this is all real. Just as real as any other Shadowhunter unions. That the kind of love we have is not worth anything lesser just because it's a little bit different than what Nephilim traditions dictate.
"So, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, if I may ask,” Magnus got down on one knee and looked up at the two loves of his life, first to Max and then to Alec, "Will you promise to stand by me until we can marry in gold?"
"Absolutely. Yes. It's a promise," Alec was holding back tears as he said that. Max might have felt it too since he started blubbering things and patting his little hands on Alec's face as if to comfort him.
Magnus picked out the ring with the round cut blue diamond then reached out for Alec's left hand. He slipped the white gold band in his ring finger then looked up into Alec's beautiful blue eyes with his heart full of love. Alec took out the other ring from the box with his free hand as Magnus raised his left hand in front of him. The ring sat perfectly around Magnus's left ring finger and suddenly it was the most priceless ring he had, putting all the other rings he wore to shame. They both leaned in for a kiss, it was sweet and tender and Magnus felt the warmth of Alec's love between his lips. But Max had other plans when he decided to break it off and hit Magnus on the side of his head.
"Alright you little smurf, we're going, we're going," he smiled as he ruffled the head of the little blue warlock.
"Oh, right, Alec," Magnus raised his hand and behind the blue glow of smoke surrounding his hand, he conjured up what looked to be like car keys. He handed it to Alec and he immediately recognized the logo etched on its body.
"Did you rent this just for tonight? Can't we just Portal through?"
"You know I don't trust Portal-ing with the baby," Magnus replied. "And no, it's not rented, it's yours."
"No way. Magnus, I can't—" but Magnus cut him off with a kiss.
"Darling, no more arguments before a party," said Magnus as he pulled away from Alec. He then took Max from him and carried him in his arms. "I don't want us to look stressed when we waltz in there. We have the image of a perfectly perfect family to rub in people's faces."
Alec was still a bit dumbfounded about everything that just happened. All those surprises in one night seemed to be too much for the Shadowhunter. But Magnus liked it whenever he leaves Alec dumbfounded.
"Now come along, Alexander, I don't want us to be later than fashionably late," Magnus was already out the door and was being playful with Max who was giggling his little heart out. "My little blueberry must steal the show, yes you will, you're going to be just like your papa when you've grown."
Alec eventually broke out from his daze. He followed them out and went on their way to the Institute.
The party had already started by the time they rolled in the Institute grounds in the sleek black Maserati GT Convertible Magnus had just given him. Though the streets were lined with snow, luckily it wasn't snowing that evening so they were able to ride the car with the top down. Alec might have wanted to argue with Magnus about it earlier but driving it now let him warm up to the idea of owning it. Max seemed to have enjoyed the ride as well as he sat on Magnus's lap in the back of the car. Everything seemed to be going smoothly on its own that Isabelle had the time to come out and meet with them. Simon was with her of course and Jace and Clary followed too when they heard that Magnus, Alex, and Max were on their way. But it was really just an excuse for them to be able to leave the party even for a moment. Parties really weren't the same without Magnus in it.
Clary immediately walked over to Magnus who was carrying Max in one arm. Max was still bouncy and lively as he wrapped his hands around Clary's finger and patting his other hand on her head. Jace was in awe of the car that his parabatai drove and recognized it was the same one Alec kept talking about when they got back from their European redo trip last summer. Jace nearly flipped when Alec told him it was his Christmas gift and even Simon who wasn't exactly a car guy was impressed by it. The car conversation was cut when Isabelle broke in to reprimand Alec and Magnus for arriving late but immediately had a change of heart when the two showed off their rings. Isabelle practically leapt in to hug her brother and so did Clary with Magnus. They all said their congratulations but no one could say they were surprised. With the way things are between Magnus and Alec it was just the natural progression of things but it was still something nice to see especially on Christmas Eve.
As Magnus had expected and have willed to happen, there were a lot of eyes on him as he walked inside the Institute with Alec holding his hand and Max nestled in his other arm. No one would dare state for too long but he noticed the side glances and whispers as they walked through. Whether they were bad or good whispers he didn't particularly care, it boosted his ego pretty well either way.
He and Alec approached Maryse and Robert first who were in the middle of a conversation with some of the Blackthorns. Maryse was quick to ask for Max when they got close which Magnus obliged to and passed his little blueberry into his grandma's arms. It was Alec who excused his parents for a moment and brought them aside to show them their engagement rings. Maryse looked like she was getting overwhelmed that Robert had to take Max from her while she hugged Alec tightly. Like the others, they weren't entirely surprised by it but the rings really did make all the difference.
When all was finally said and done, Magnus conjured up the mountain of presents that were sitting back in his living room. The presents were all lined up around the base of the Christmas tree for his friends and family to open up later when the other guests have left. He made sure to conjure up the gifts in the homes of the others who weren't able to make it there that night like Jocelyn and Luke who decided to stay in together. As well as Maia and Lily who had hosted a different kind of party for the werewolf pack and vampire clans.
At the Beth Israel Hospital, Catarina finally had time to take a break from cheering up the kids who were stuck there for Christmas. She sat on her own in the breakroom having a snack and some coffee using a mug that said "Why So Blue?". She was on her phone to check the messages she couldn't read earlier and most of them were typical holiday greetings. The one that stood out and brought a smile to her face was a photo greeting of Magnus and Alec showing their rings and Max floating on his own next to them with the caption, "Happy Holidays from the Lightwood-Banes".
#malec#magnus bane#alec lightwood#max lightwood-bane#the mortal instruments#tmi fanfiction#tmi fanfic#river writes crap
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misukazu 21
(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)
EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...
questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!
If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it? their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai
What song fits your pairing the most? uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh
What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing? ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.
Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them? I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET
Favorite canon moment of them? THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...
Least favorite canon moment of them? hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS
Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s) this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD
Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES
Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon) this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.
If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together? they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"
If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why? i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...
How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10. AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.
Is there a pairing that you think rivals them? in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd
Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?) you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose
Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why? OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.
Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing? THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL
Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them? i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that
On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them? as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.
What made you decide to ship them? TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that
Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.) angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.
lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation? they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)
EXTRA 2: first date? i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.
EXTRA 3: gifts? IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications
EXTRA 4: sharing clothes THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.
EXTRA 5: lake house au consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love
#a3#misukazu#kazumisu#ikaruga misumi#miyoshi kazunari#a3!#act! addict! actors!#headcanons#ernb its me
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opportunist { car trouble au} | felix + ?
Ugh, God, he knew he shouldn’t have let his father convince him that self-driving to his hotel from the airport would be a ‘good learning experience and chance to embrace your independence in an exciting new city’. Fee could almost throw up a little in his mouth a little just thinking about it now, and he’s sure the expression on his face reflects the resentment and disgust.
To his ears now, it sounded stupid and cheesy and so not the Felix-Tee way, but his Dad had been so insistent that Felix would have so much more fun making this trip different from the others. He’d said it’d be “unique” and “more memorable” and something about the way he’d up-sold the whole, independent, away-from-home-in-a-new-city vibes had just... worked, somehow. Miraculously. It’d taken a long time to wear Felix down, of course, but at some point, his father must have been able to get Felix in just the right position with his back against the wall, or caught him at just the right level of exhaustion to make it all sound like sort of a good idea. Like something Felix would actually want and be keen on.
Which was bloody ludicrous to imagine now, because of course he’d prefer not to do something himself that he could just have someone else do for him, especially when it involved risk and learning new things and personal effort, like driving around in an unfamiliar city in the bloody winter, when it’d been snowing not two days ago. The roads were fine tonight, just as everyone had assured Felix they would be, but... it was cold and Felix hated the cold and the snow. He’d never been around snow before in his life, mind you, but he’d known just from the concept of it and the look of it on the telly that he’d hate it. And now, having experienced it up close and personal and seeping into the seems of his five hundred dollar designer boots, he was really quite bitterly smug that he'd been right. Not that he’d ever doubted his right-ness. But to all the doubters, and the people accusing him of being ‘dramatic’ and that he’d had to ‘just give it a chance’—Hah. Bloody proved them wrong, didn’t he? Because he did hate it, after all. It was cold and wet and unnecessary and inconvenient and now that his rental car was sitting in the middle of a dark, wooded and creepy winding road out in God Knows Where with a flat tire, well—snow was just officially the worst now.
He wasn’t sure what had caused the flat, really, and though snow itself seemed like an unlikely culprit, he was choosing to blame it, anyway. Because he’d nearly skidded off the road when the tire blew, it’d scared the living daylights out of him, and he was sure it was a miracle the whole bloody vehicle didn’t flip into a ditch and kill him right then and there. Surely articles would soon be writing about how The Felix Tee had narrowly escaped death this Christmas, and what a miracle it was he’d not been stolen from this earth so prematurely, in a fatal, tragic accident.
And to think that back home right now, it was 43 degrees and the middle of bloody summer. Ughhhhhhhhhh. This guest role better be bloody worth all this trouble. He’d of course been thrilled when his agent had told him about the invitation to send in a tape for the minor ‘model bombshell with an accent’ bit part in one of the international streaming market’s current quickest grossing episodic series, ‘The Canopy Institute’. And when he’d actually booked the gig, to think his first major chance to get television exposure outside of commercials and talk show appearances would be this three week trip abroad? Over the Christmas holidays, no less? Yes, it did sound like something fabulous and cinematic, and maybe that’s why his father’s whole ‘independence and opportunity’ speech had actually worked.
Whatever the reason, Felix was full of regrets now, and was currently formulating a told-you-so speech for his father in his head, as he stared at the flat tire in a blank, and immobilized (gay) panic. Pulling the coat tighter around his neck to protect against against the wind chill, Felix bit his lip hard enough to distract him from his desire to cry. Oh, this was just the absolute worst.
He was just taking out his mobile to call his father so his father could tell him what to do (was he supposed to call a tow company? The rental car place? A cab? Were they even tow companies in this country? Did they work differently? Or did they have people you could just... order out to come change a tire? Ugh, he had no experience with any of this, and how the hell was he supposed to know what number to call? There were about a million different results that came up on Google... ugh, it was just all too overwhelming), when headlights came around the corner and slowed. Then pulled over. Felix turned and squinted into the blinding lights, clutching his phone (which was currently ringing) to his ear, and reaching into his coat pocket. The car door opened, and a figure who Felix couldn’t see properly because of the lights, stepped out.
Felix took a step or two back. He wanted to be relieved, if this person was here to help, but he’d heard plenty of ‘pretty boys stranded on the side of the road’ horror stories. “Oh my God, can you help me? But if you’re a rapist or a murderer, I have pepper spray, a very protective father and a distress button on my phone. One finger on me and the FBI will be all over your ass, I promise you that.”
He was sort of a big deal, after all.
#col22starter#col22bingo#open to all!#car trouble au#i tried so hard to think of an extremely clever and punny title but i failed#so i took a queue from maddie and left the geography vague#he can be anywhere that isn't australia basically#we can hash out verse details in DMs if you want!#also im happy to switch this to chat thread in the future depending on where we take it#but it got long and i need paras on Felix anyway so#figured i'd start this way for now at least!
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2019 Draco x Reader Secret Santa Gift Exchange - - Inevitable
masterlist request guidelines i know, i know...it’s been a bit. this is for @eltanin-malfoy ‘s secret santa gift exchange.
pairing: draco x reader
requested: kind of! this is part of the xmas gift exchange :)) also i hate to say this but i kind of deviated from the request...i wanted to make it a bit longer and didn’t like how it specified how they were the only two students left at hogwarts...wanted to mix it up some :)))))))))
summary: ravenclaw y/n is remaining at hogwarts over the holidays to study for N.E.W.T.S while her family is away on business. despite never really having been close to him before, y/n begins to form an unlikely connection.
warnings: just swearing and underage drinking and a mention of a sexual relationship between snape and a student (don’t worry...NOT the central focus and just an anecdote provided).
a/n: damn....it’s really been like....almost two months. i’ve been logging on and off occasionally to see what’s been going on. i know that there were a lot of requests over the summer that kind of sunk that i never got to, and to that i’m very sorry. maybe one day i’ll be able to get back to them (i’m thinking of doing so over the next summer!!). i’m so so so thankful for the fact that you guys are still here, reading my content and enjoying draco malfoy as much as i am. i love this community and feel very blessed to be a part of it.
music recs: any christmas music!!
word count: 3,859
“And you’re sure that you’re alright with staying behind?”
Y/N sighed, twisted her hair into a knot behind her neck in a nervous gesture. “Yes, Mum. It’s really okay. I hope you and Dad have a good time in Paris.”
“You know we won’t,” her mother said. “I can’t believe we have to work through the holidays.”
“I’m sorry Mum.” Y/N took a glance out the window, watching the rest of her friends leave the grounds with the intention of catching the train back to London. “If it makes you feel any better, I think I’m one of the only students staying here this winter. I’ll just be working too.”
“Be sure to write often.” There was a brief pause before Y/N could hear some commotion in the background, and her mother’s face, which had previously been gazing at her from the common room coals turned. “I’ve got to go, dearie. Love you!”
With that, the fire was extinguished, and Y/N was left to sit alone in the empty Ravenclaw common room. It was rather dark now that the sun was hanging lower in the sky, and every sound she made echoed. She had never noticed just how much space her housemates took up until they had gone home.
Once Y/N had gotten over her miniature pity party, she gathered up her robes and headed down to the dining hall. There was one particular Slytherin girl, Daphne, who she knew was staying behind for sure. There was something about the Slytherin house staying over the holiday break to study for N.E.W.T.S...or perhaps all their parents had gotten sick of them and their snooty attitudes by this point.
Y/N snorted ungraciously at this notion as she entered the dining hall, pushing open the two large doors. The eerie hum of quiet chatter hit her ears instead of the familiar roar of 4 houses, and her footsteps echoed--actually echoed--as she made her way to the Ravenclaw table. She quickly changed her mind when she saw Daphne waving at her from the sparsely populated Slytherin table.
“Over here, Y/L/N,” she called, shoving someone who was sitting next to her to the side. Y/N couldn’t get a good look at who it was, but the long, flowing dark locks suggested that it was Pansy. “Move, Pans. We have special company.”
Y/N gratefully accepted the offer, ditching her completely empty table and sliding in next to her Potions partner.
“Thanks, Greengrass.” Y/N never understood the Slytherin obsession with calling acquaintances by their last name, but on Merlin was she going to follow that rule whilst she was the only friend she had.
“Of course,” Daphne responded, daintily picking at the food on her plate while Y/N grabbed a roll and spooned stew into her bowl. “Just don’t embarrass us too much, you know. Blue and green just don’t really...vibe well. We’ll have to get you a Slytherin tie for the holidays if you don’t want to be harassed in the common room.”
“In the...what?”
“In the common room,” Pansy said, barely looking up from her own plate. “You don’t seriously think we’re going to leave you to go up to an empty dorm every night, right?”
“Does...that....huh?” Y/N knew that her mouth was gaped unceremoniously open, but she didn’t know how else to act. The Slytherins were...inviting her to live with them?
“Yeah, Pans and I have an extra bed now that Millicent is off in Peru on holiday,” Daphne said nonchalantly.
“Does that mean I get to call you Daphne now, or...”
She laughed, her perfectly straight white teeth glinting in the light. “If it makes you happy. Only me though. Or Pansy. Anyone else will have a bit of an attitude.”
Y/N smiled nervously, pushing her stew around with a spoon. “I really wasn’t expecting this, Thanks for not making me spend the holidays completely alone.”
“Honestly,” Pansy said, rolling her eyes. “I don’t get why people give Slytherins such a selfish rap. Look at how empathetic and caring we are.”
Y/N laughed, casting her eyes up from her food and taking in the table. The 6th year Slytherins were well-represented, with Zabini, Nott, and....Malfoy? She frowned at him. Malfoy had blabbed the entire year to all of his croonies about how well-regarded he was in family and how he was such an integral part of his father’s work. It was surprising to see him at Hogwarts and not home, where he would’ve been much more useful to his family. The extra line in his scowl suggested to Y/N that he was well aware of the fact and was staying against his will. Then again, she could’ve been wrong. She’d had some classes with him, but they’d never personally spoken, but it didn’t take much for her to draw the conclusion that he was a spoiled prat.
She had been so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn’t think to pull her eyes away when Malfoy turned away from his conversation with Zabini, his head tilting in her direction. His grey eyes snapped up from the table to meet hers, and she jerked away the moment they made contact. Y/N stared at the table as nonchalantly as she could, counting 7 cracks in the wood before she felt confident enough to peek back up again. Malfoy was turned back around, talking a bit more animatedly to his friends.
That was weird she thought, putting her energy back into her stew. I’m never looking that direction again.
<^>
The Slytherin bunk beds felt slightly more comfortable than the Ravenclaw ones. “Daddy’s money always makes for a thicker cushion,” Pansy said to this observation as she rifled through her drawers, trying to find a few acceptable pieces for Y/N to borrow. “I don’t have an extra jumper, but I’ll be right back. I know someone who does.”
“Isn’t this kind of extra?” Y/N asked Daphne as Pansy dashed off through the open dorm door. “I’ll just avoid wearing blue stuff. I swear.”
She laughed at this, tossing an extra Slytherin tie on Y/N’s bed. “It’s weird. I think it’s kind of a Slytherin thing. It’s fun to indoctrinate you or something like that.”
“Kind of kinky.”
The two snickered as Y/N continued to unpack her things into Millicent’s now empty drawer, shoving her sweats and unmarked sweaters to fit as much as she could.
“I wouldn’t go that far, but if it floats your boat.”
“You’re gonna love me for this,” a prim voice sang from the doorway. Y/N turned to see Pansy holding a bundle of clothes. “Full set of Slytherin robes. I say that you try and convince everyone that you’ve been in this house the whole time.”
Y/N cackled at this. “I feel like I’m rooming with absolute lunatics.”
“Because you are, darling.” Pansy flounced forward, pinching Y/N’s cheek. “Anyways. I say you get changed into something a little less...blue...and we go to the first Christmas party of the year. I hear it starts at 11.”
With that, the girls descended into a flurry of motion. Y/N slipped into one of Daphne’s deep emerald dresses, which felt more expensive than her family’s home, and prayed that it would stay intact for the rest of the night. She was never a wild partier, but she would never forgive herself if a rogue glass of mulled firewhiskey found its way onto the expensive velvet fabric. It felt uncomfortably tight and revealing, so she snatched the first Slytherin article of clothing she could find--what appeared to be a black cape with a snake emblem on it--and draped it over her shoulders.
“Let’s talk about girl things,” Pansy announced as she took out her makeup bag and sat herself in front of the mirror. Daphne smiled in exasperation. “I know all about Daphne’s vast experiences with Blaise, but I know nothing about you, Y/N. Got any horrid men messing up your educational experience?”
Y/N laughed as she finished trying to spell her hair smooth. “No. Not really. I wish. I was into this one guy in my Charms class this September, but he turned out to be a whole clown.”
“Oh, ick.” Pansy paused just long enough to make eye contact in the mirror and send her a disgusted expression. “I hate men. Except for mine, of course. “
“And that is...?” prodded Y/N.
“If I told you, it’d ruin all the fun,” Pansy teased. “He does look good in red, though. I’ll let you know that. Do with that information what you will.”
“A Gryffindor?! Aren’t you afraid that he’s gonna kill himself cliff-jumping over the holidays or something?”
“Oh, hush little Y/N. He’s here for a good time, not a long time.”
Daphne snorted from her corner of the room, sending Y/N a look that said “see what I have to deal with?”.
11 came around sooner than expected. Y/N’s dress was feeling tighter with each breath she took, her anxiety brewing within her. Despite being on friendly terms with Daphne for a season, she had never been invited to a Slytherin party, but she had heard plenty of morning after stories that left her wondering what really went on.
Now I’m going to find out she mused, running her fingerpads over her ring.
“Are you going to just stand here or are you going to open the door, kiddo?” Pansy’s voice sounded behind her, shaking her out of her thoughts.
“Don’t be fucking rude, Pans,” Daphne chided. “This is a monumental moment for Ravenclawkind.”
<^>
Y/N never thought that she’d see people getting absolutely trashed to Frank Sinatra’s christmas album, but her first Slytherin party shook this preconceived notion. The moment she stepped into the common room, Daphne pressed a hot goblet into her hand that was full of something that smelled suspiciously like fire.
“It’s a Slytherin specialty,” she explained. “Firewhiskey, but with more fire.”
Whatever it was, it tasted good. Really, really good. If Y/N hadn’t been so nervous, she would’ve downed the goblet in one go, but she knew better and only took small sips. Daphne and Pansy were a little less conservative, pouring themselves a third go before she had even finished her first.
“So proper,” Daphne managed to get out as she looked at Y/N, an amused expression on her face. “Come on and be festive.”
Y/N managed to hold off on heavy drinking and instead retired to a dark green leather armchair, choosing to people watch. The Slytherins were stumbling about in a fashion that was very unSlytherin-esque but oddly charming. Pansy was chatting up Nott and Malfoy, and when she saw Y/N sitting alone, she grabbed the two boys by the tie and dragged them over.
Malfoy didn’t look nearly as hammered as his companions as he stared daggers at Pansy’s hand, clutched at the emerald fabric encircling his neck. They were standing in front of her in moments with Pansy smiling goofily.
“Y/N, doll,” she began, dropping the ties and reaching out to grab Y/N’s hands. “Have you met my friends? Draco and Theo?”
“Why are you wearing my cape?” Draco’s voice cut past Pansy’s easily with his posh accent.
“Your...what? Are you talking to me?” Y/N asked, her mind clouded with confusion.
“Er, yeah,” Malfoy said, motioning towards the cloak settled over her shoulders. “That’s mine.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Y/N shifted awkwardly, working it off her shoulders and holding it out to him. “You can have it back, if you want. Pansy just said that I could borrow it.”
Malfoy stared at her, his silver eyes flickering in the dim light. He seemed very out of place--the Malfoy energy didn’t exactly match with the classic Christmas love songs that were echoing through the room.His pale hair reflected the festive green lights strung up around the dungeon ceiling and walls, making it look much colder than she thought it normally did.
It took him clearing his throat for her to realize that she’d been staring again and that no, he hadn’t reached out his arm to take the cape.
“It’s yours now,” he said stiffly.
“Ooooookaaaaay,” Pansy sang, slipping her arm through Nott’s and shoving Malfoy towards the couch. “Looks like you two need to talk this out! I’ll be going!”
With that, she darted off, leaving a very awkward looking Malfoy standing substantially closer to her.
“You can sit down if you want,” Y/N said, a wave a boldness washing over her. So what, he was cute, and there was nothing stopping her from talking to him now. “I don’t bite.”
He seemed receptive to this, settling down onto the couch and leaving a healthy distance between them. “Your name is Y/N, right?”
She was surprised by this. There was no point in time where she was referred to anything but Y/LN in front of him, but it appeared as if he somehow knew her first name anyways. “And you’re Draco?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want me to call you Draco or Malfoy?” she pushed, curling her legs up under her and turning to look at him better. Now that he was just about a foot away from her, she could see that his hair was slightly ruffled.
“Whichever you fancy,” he answered.
“Do we have Potions together?”
Before Draco could fully answer, there was an explosion of motion behind them and an infectious spread of laughter.
“Mistletoe!” Pansy gleefully shrieked from somewhere out of Y/N’s line of sight as a floating patch of greenery made its way through the common room air.
“The fuck is that?” Y/N cast a questioning look at Draco. “What’s the point of mistletoe if it doesn’t stay still?”
“It’ll stop in a moment. It goes to the pair with the most chemistry in the room.”
“That sounds kind of dangerous.”
“Oh, believe me.” Draco’s face broke into a rare smile, revealing dimples that Y/N had never seen before. “I heard that one time Snape walked in while that thing was floating about. It stopped over the heads of him and one of the 8th years. The cruelest thing is that it won’t leave the pair alone until they kiss.”
Y/N closed her gaping jaw and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I wish I could return to the point in my life where I didn’t know that information.”
He smiled a little wider, his eyes seeming to be a little warmer now. Their was a strange fluttering inside of Y/N’s stomach, but she chalked it up to the firewhiskey. The distance between them had shrunk significantly since they had first begun to talk, and now they were so close that Y/N could smell his cologne--a tasteful mix of pine and mint.
Her throat dried up as she saw Draco blink slowly, resting his chin in his hand and looking at her in a way that made her feel...not right. Wasn’t he supposed to be a prick? Her attention was caught by a flash of green leaves in her peripheral vision, speeding towards their direction.
“I should go,” she hastened, grabbing the cape and pulling it snug over her shoulders. His eyebrows raised the slightest bit in interest, but he didn’t seem to move at all. “I’ll....er....see you around, okay?”
With that, she booked it to her room.
<^>
“I’m never drinking again!” Pansy’s shrill voice awoke Y/N from a rather deep slumber. “I swear to Merlin, Daph! Never let me do that again!”
Y/N leaned over the side of the bunk, glaring down at the two girls. “Can you be a bit quieter? Some of us are trying to get some sleep here.”
Daphne rolled her eyes. “And some of us are trying to get up in time to get a good study spot in the library. Care to join us, princess?”
While it pained Y/N to admit, Daphne was probably right--every single student staying at Hogwarts over the break was there with the purpose of studying for N.E.W.T.S, meaning that the library was going to be overflowing. A quick glance at the clock on the wall confirmed her suspicions--most spots were probably already taken at 11 in the morning, and they’d be lucky to even find a table open at this time.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Y/N moaned, sliding down from the bunk to get dressed. They all readied quickly--after all, studying wasn’t the most glamorous event--and made their way down to the library.
“Damn, there’s only a few spots left open.” Daphne frowned as she surveyed the room. Sure enough, there were no empty tables, just scattered empty seats throughout the library.
“Guess we’re splitting up then,” Pansy said. “We can all meet up in an hour for lunch. Until then, good luck! I have some Wide-eye potion if either of your hangovers get too bad.”
Y/N snorted at this, turning away to find her own spot. If she was lucky, there’d be an empty seat by the windows that overlooked the forest. It was snowing, and she wanted nothing more than to watch snow fall as she revised.
Thankfully, there was exactly one empty seat, but unthankfully, this seat was next to a certain someone.
“Hi Draco,” she greeted, immediately wishing that she had just kept her mouth shut. Her tone of voice was way too cringy.
He looked up from his Charms essay, his face lighting up when he saw who it was. “Hello.”
“Do you mind if I sit here?” She motioned towards the empty chair, and he shook his head, even going as far as pulling out the chair for her. “Thanks.”
Draco nodded but turned his attention back to his essay, dipping his quill back into his inkwell and continuing to write. Y/N rested her chin in her hand as she watched the snow swirl outside the window and paint the trees white.
After a bit, she unpacked her books and began to read up on outlawed hexes. Every once and a while, Draco’s elbow would bump her arm as he immersed himself in his essay.
“Isn’t that my tie?” Draco asked, his voice breaking the silence.
“What?” Y/N’s eyes cast down to the Slytherin tie she had haphazardly thrown on that morning and caught something she hadn’t noticed before--the Malfoy crest.
“Oh,” she said. “Pansy gave me a whole bundle of things. I’m assuming all of it was yours. I don’t plan on keeping this stuff, by the way. Once I go back to Ravenclaw, I’m never wearing green again.”
“Shh!” A random student looked up from their work to glare at Y/N. She whispered a quick apology before turning back to admire Draco’s amused expression.
“Those are fighting words,” he told her simply, quirking an eyebrow and tapping his lip with his quill like he was thinking.
“Can I see your quill?” she asked suddenly, holding her palm out. The feather was something she had never seen before--it shimmered with some kind of charm that projected silver light. Without a word in response, he passed it to her, his hand dragging across her palm for a second as he placed it in her hand. She shivered--his hand was surprisingly warm considering his fairly cool demeanor.
“It’s beautiful,” she breathed. “Very wintery.”
“That’s not a word,” he said matter-of-factly, but one glance at him was enough to tell that he wasn’t being serious.
“You’re insufferable,” Y/N told him. “But you must know that.”
His face broke into another smile, lines forming around his silver eyes. “Insufferably wonderful.”
“Seriously, can you guys shut up?” the same Slytherin asked from the other end of the table. “Some of us are actually trying to work.”
“Yeah, take a walk if you guys can’t be quiet,” another Slytherin added.
Draco sent them both a death glare that made them turn back around and get back to their work without another word of caution.
“Maybe I should leave,” Y/N offered, motioning to the blizzard outside. “I like the snow anyways. You can come with me if you’d like.”
His dimples pressed into his cheeks again at this as he packed up his things, a bit haphazardly and carelessly. “I think a walk sounds great.”
The two made their way out of the library, passing by Pansy who sent them a curious look. The library doors were obnoxiously loud to open, and it took both of them throwing all of their weight into them to get out.
“I hear they’re harder to open the more students are inside,” said Y/N absentmindedly.
“And where did you read that?”
“Hogwarts: a History, I think.”
“Of course.” Draco seemed amused at this--which was admittedly a great look on him. Today he had worn a white collared shirt, the collars barely peeking out of the dark green jumper he wore over it. That color always looked absolutely stunning next to his near-white hair...something made Y/N feel warm for noticing.
“So....er....” Y/N struggled to stay upright on a particularly slick patch of ice. Draco’s arm shot out to steady her. “Oh, er, thanks. Are you enjoying the holidays?”
His eyes crinkled at the edges. “Yes, I guess so. You?”
“They could be better.” One of his eyebrows arched. “Er, no, I mean, not because of you, because of all the studying I have to get done.”
“I almost forgot you were a Ravenclaw,” he teased. A few snowflakes had nestled themselves into his eyelashes, and he looked indescribable to Y/N.
He cleared his throat, and Y/N stopped staring.
They walked in silence around the grounds for a bit, and Y/N cursed herself for not wearing any gloves. The winter air swirled with snowflakes that stuck to her bare skin, and Y/N shivered a little more with every step she took.
“D’you want my--”
Draco’s proposition was cut short by the sound of something whizzing through the air.
“How did that get out of the common room?” Draco said instead, motioning with his head to the flying patch of greenery that was coming their way.
“I guess it doesn’t matter. It’s out now.”
The two waited awkwardly for a few seconds, and Y/N was sure that they were both praying that the mistletoe would change its course and veer back in the direction of the castle, but it didn’t. It made its way straight for them, hardly stopped at all through the battering of the blizzard.
It stopped only when it was directly above the two of them. When Y/N tried to lean away, it was like she hit a forcefield that forced her back in, even closer to Draco. He seemed concerned at this, running his fingers through his hair once and sighing.
“I guess this was inevitable,” he said, offering further explanation when he saw Y/N’s confused expression. “I saw it heading towards us last night. If we had gone to another Christmas party, I’m sure it would’ve found us anyways.”
“Maybe it’s better that it’s here than in public,” Y/N mused. Before she could add anything else, Draco took his gloves off and took her hands in his.
“Another reason why this was inevitable,” he began, dropping her right hand to brush a strand of hair away from her face, “Was that I was planning on doing this anyways.”
final a/n: sorry i really really didn’t feel like writing a kiss scene and also i procrastinated and started this yesterday and that was NOT the move i’m so so sorry kings and queens and nonbinary royalty--i hope you can enjoy the lead-up and use your imagination to fill in the blanks that i have left (please please please don’t kill me). alright love u all and merry xmas. wonders of ohio is coming out soon and is in progress
#draco x reader#draco malfoy#draco#draco malfoy x reader#draco imagine#draco malfoy imagine#draco x y/n#draco x oc#draco malfoy x y/n#draco malfoy x oc
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I’ll Be Home for Christmas
AN: Hi all! Here’s my idea for a Holiday ON shot featuring a sweet Bucky and what I hope is a gender-neutral reader. My first attempt at total fluff. I hope I hit the mark. If you like it, please like and reblog. Thank you to @quant-um-fizzx for all her help and support this year, and Pandora, who stays away from Tumblr, but still reads my shit and helps me with all the things!! (All mistakes are my own) Happy Holidays, dear ones! I hope you’re all finding peace on this day.
Summary: Bucky and Reader meet up on the way home for Christmas. Will they both get their Christmas wish?
Words: 6591
“Attention passengers of American Airlines Flight 2135: Baggage is now arriving on carousel four.”
“Okay, where the hell is my bag?” You mutter to yourself as you reposition your purse across your chest and duck around a family with a double-wide stroller. Spotting the carousel you need, you move to it determinedly, but frown when you see a flight number over yours and no bags circling the platform.
Grabbing your phone out of your bag, you see a missed call and a couple of new text messages.
I'm stuck in training. - Steve
I’m sorry. I can send a car for you. - Steve
You pull up his contact number and laugh as he apologizes as he answers, “Steve, I’ll be fine. I’ll call an Uber or just get a cab. It's no big deal.”
“I feel so bad, I promised to meet you.”
“Shit happens. I’m still waiting on my bag anyway, so I’ll be fine. I’ll see you later.”
As you drop your phone back into your bag you hear the annoying buzzer for the carousel and feel the push of the crowd as everyone moves forward to try to find their bag.
You deliberately take a step back and move away from the crowd. You have time and you’d rather wait and not be crushed or hit some small kid with your suitcase because they’re standing too close to the conveyor belt.
You see someone else on the other side seems to have the same idea as you lean against a pillar out of the way. It’s not until this person is almost directly in front of you that you realize who it is.
“Of all the gin joints in all the world, huh?’ He grins down at you and you can’t help but laugh as you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck and squeeze him quickly.
“What the hell are you doing here, Bucky?” You pull back and take in the penetrating blue of his eyes, the crinkle around them, and the soft smile on his lips.
“It’s Christmas! Steve would have had my ass if I wasn’t back in time,” he brushes a hand through his hair and you notice how short it is now.
No more manly buns for this one.
“Where have you been?” You nod vaguely out into the terminal and he smiles as he leans on the pillar next to you.
“Ireland; Kerry,” he ducks his head a little and you know why. Ireland had always been your dream destination.
“Was it green and beautiful? Did you catch a leprechaun?” Nudging him playfully in the ribs with his elbow brings back that soft smile.
“I’ll show you the pictures.”
The exchange is easy and natural. He still makes your stomach flip and you still make him laugh.
“That’s me,” he says as he pushes off the pillar and grabs his old beat-up duffle, slings it over his shoulder and resumes his place next to you.
“Now, you’re going to let me guess which one is yours, right?” You laugh and nod.
The wait is even longer, but he’s promised his car with the remote start and heated seats currently sitting in long term parking, so you agree.
“It’s the ugliest one, right? You always picked the worst patterns.”
“They’re easy to spot!” You’re a little defensive because everyone always teased you for this.
But when that neon orange paisley print comes around the conveyor belt, you have to bite your lip from laughing out loud at his incredulous expression.
“Did you find that in the seventies?” he grabs it and nods towards the door as you take your bag from him.
The car is not only warm and running when you get to it, but it’s also almost too hot and you shrug out of your coat.
“Thanks for the ride,” buckling yourself in and settling into the seat, you send him a genuine smile.
“Like I’d let you take a cab,” he says as he pulls up to pay for parking and soon you’re on the turnpike and headed to the compound.
You’re both quiet and as he navigates through the late-night holiday traffic, you get caught up in the lights of the city.
“You awake over there?”
“Huh? I was looking at the city lights,” you shift to look at him. “I’m sorry, did you say something.”
His hand twitches on the shifter and it doesn’t go unnoticed by either of you.
“I was wondering if you were hungry. Everyone, except maybe Steve will be asleep by the time we get there and I frankly do not like it when Nat wakes up angry,” the car glides over closer to an exit. “Do you wanna stop somewhere and eat?”
“Sure, wherever.”
He pulls off into a small metro area and spots a Denny’s about two miles from the highway. Once you’re inside and seated in the back, you realize you might be the last customers in the restaurant.
After the waitress unenthusiastically takes your order and leaves you alone in the booth. As you rearrange the jelly holder, Bucky stares at you until you finally look stop fidgeting and look at him.
“So, how’s … everything?” he asks when you sit back and fold your hands into your lap.
The grimace crosses your face before you can stop it. It had been so easy at the airport, casual, but this feels forced and you don’t want this. Nothing had ever been difficult between the two of you before.
“Things are good, of course, they are.” You shrug and offer a smile, “Moving to DC was a good choice for me. I like the work that I do and I’m happy with the results.”
He bristles a little at the mention of your work but doesn’t bat an eye at the mention of your move. The two of you had discussed it, at length, when the opportunity had come up; neither of you wanted the move, but you also couldn’t deny that it was a good choice for you.
When the waitress comes back with your country fried steak and eggs and his bacon cheeseburger and fries you both take a few minutes to situate yourself. Chewing replaces the awkward conversation and you’re grateful for the time being.
“You still enjoying the life of a superhero?” The question is obviously a surprise to Bucky as he chokes down the giant bite he just took.
“That’s the designation, but it doesn’t make it true,” he smirks and pushes his plate towards you. Sighing, you set your silverware aside and swap plates with him.
“Just like old times, right?” You laugh lightly as you pick up the remainder of his burger and take a bite and moan. “Oh, god that’s good.”
“The job s’okay,” he shrugs as he shovels some scrambled eggs onto his fork. “I still get to travel and I don’t have to take anyone with me anymore, so that’s a plus.”
“Everything works out for a reason, then?” Locking eyes with him, you polish off the last of his fries and smile with bulging cheeks.
“I think some of our friends might disagree with you on that, but sure; everything works out for a reason.”
You both fight over the check but in the end, you let him pay. Back in the car you stretch and yawn before reaching for the radio, “Can I?”
“Sure, doll.”
You land on some local station playing holiday music and you hum along until you feel your eyes start to droop.
“I’m glad I ran into you, Buck,” you rub a hand over his forearm and let it linger there. “I wasn’t sure you’d be here, but I brought you a present.” A lazy grin crosses your face when his face lights up.
“Well, you gotta come home for Christmas, right?” He nudges your arm away and reaches over to rub the back of your neck, “Of course, I got you something too.”
Sighing into his touch, you wish every interaction with him could be like this; so easy, so real.
Sometime later, you wake to Bucky gently shaking you, “We’re home, doll. I’ll get your bag.”
After you two are let in by Friday, you both stop at the fork in the hallway that leads to both wings of the private quarters.
"Nat cleaned up my old room," you provide as it seems Bucky was going to invite you to his room.
"Oh, that makes sense." He rolls your bag towards you and throws you a smile. "See ya later, doll."
"Night, Buck."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning starts with Steve waking you after eight, which has to be a record for him, but it was nice to have a cup of coffee and catch up a little with him before facing everyone else.
"How'd you get home, anyway?"
You sit up a little straighter, "I figured you would have spoken to him by now," you shake your head at his curious look. "I ran into Bucky at the airport."
"What is it weird?"
Rolling your eyes you set your cup down and shrug, “Nothing has ever been ‘weird’ between me and Bucky. Intense, hot, heavy, real?” You tick it all off on your fingers as Steve smirks, “We just never worked right.”
He snorts and stares at you incredulously, “You’re kidding, right?” He forward and claps you on the shoulder, “You and Bucky are like Westley and Buttercup.”
He stands up and moves to the door, “Have you thought any more about my offer?”
“Yeah, I still don’t have an answer for you,” you lean back against the couch cushions and smile. “Apparently we’ll be getting some new desk jockeys come January and I would want to make sure the transition goes smoothly.”
“Maria Hill doesn’t retire every day,” his hands are on his hips and give off his fatherly vibe. “You’ll really think about it? You could be back here with us all the time, and you’d get to call the shots.”
“For the most part,” you add with a wink.
“Bingo.” He opens the door, “Let’s go make the horde breakfast.”
After the cast of characters join the two of you for breakfast and take over the clean up, the day is filled with baking cookies with Wanda and Morgan and pulling out the decorations for the tree.
The tree that Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Tony are going to chop down.
“Where are you going to find a pine or fir small enough to fit inside?” You ask as the men don their winter gear and debate whether an ax is necessary. “Why don’t you just drive into town and buy a tree?”
Silence descends on the large common room and four heads swivel in your direction.
“Is it something I said?” you ask with a grin.
“Doll, this is the best way to acquire a tree.” Bucky is as serious about this as he has ever been about anything.
“It’s the dumbest way to go about it, for sure.” He stalks towards you and you stand up straighter.
“Do you think I should stay inside? I could stay here and decorate cookies with you,” he sends a wink to Morgan who has snuck up next to you and is tugging on your hand.
“I don’t know, what do you think, kid?” Hoisting her up onto your hip she taps her lip with her finger and pretends to think.
“Booky, you should stay and use sprinkles with me.” She nods so sagely, you believe she has all the answers to life’s questions.
“Alright guys, you heard the little lady: I’m staying.” He slides the leather coat off and tosses it to Sam who rolls his eyes, but hangs it back up. “Don’t die.”
The three of you walk back into the kitchen as the guys leave and as soon as they’re gone you finally ask, “What happens if they come back empty-handed?”
“They won’t,” Bucky says with a grimace and you don’t want to know what that really means. “But Pepper already bought a tree. It’s over in the warehouse, you know, just in case.”
Sprinkles, frosting, flour, and eggshells cover almost every surface in the kitchen and your back and feet are killing you.
Pepper finally whisked Morgan off for a nap and before you can even think about starting the cleanup, a cup of coffee is being shoved into your hands and you’re being shooed away from the epicenter and told to “take a load off” on a bar stool that sits at the island.
The groan is quiet, but still present as you sit and it serves as another reminder that you weren’t quite cut out for the life of a superhero; the life of an Avenger.
You weren’t enhanced and you hadn’t been trained since childhood, you had just been good, great even. They had seen something in you, taken a chance; gratefully it had led to the job you had now and the good work you were doing in DC.
But you never could keep up with any of them; couldn’t keep up with him.
“You look awful serious over there, doll.” Bucky is closing the dishwasher and setting it. “You alright?”
“Just thinking about … you.” It’s honest, if not a little gratuitous. You think about Bucky a lot for someone that couldn’t figure out how to make it work between the two of you.
“Oh, remembering the good times?” He’s got his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, muscle and metal rippling and gleaming as he wipes down the counters.
“Thinking about how I wasn’t cut out for this,” you vaguely gesture around the room. “I did all I could, after ‘The Snappening’ and after Thanos was defeated and everyone came back, to be an Avenger, but my talents are better served elsewhere. Helping people in different ways.”
“Plus, it pays to have a friend on that side of the line,” he says with a slight grunt.
Bucky never quite got over the fact that you went to work for Everett Ross when everyone came back. Resources were needed; facilities, food, water … you name it, you found it and helped to distribute it.
You were doing good work that you were proud of.
Even if you had to work for an insufferable jerk.
“Not all of us are cut out for this lifestyle,” He pulls you from your thoughts as he leans on the clean counter across from you.
“You thinking of hanging up the suit?” The surprise is evident in your voice and you feel a weird flutter in your gut.
“I don’t know.” He shrugs and grabs your coffee mug and drains the last of it. “Sometimes I think I could handle being a desk jockey.” He refills it and doctors it up just the way you like and passes it back to you.
“You’d hate it.”
“Would I? Quiet days getting work done and feeling satisfied with it,” he’s leaning on the counter again and smiles. “I guess the grass is always greener, right?”
“Sure, but I don’t leave work every day happy. Sometimes I’m so frustrated because I’m not getting the answers I want or I’m not getting them fast enough.” You drink deep from the cup before pushing it back to him.
“I went to DC to talk about a job opening,” he drops the information so casually that it doesn’t register at first.
“Wait, my DC? What job?”
“What, like you own it?” You both laugh as Sam and Steve come stumbling into the room laughing, breathless, and red-cheeked.
“We found a tree,” Sam tells you with a pointed look. “It’s way too big to bring inside, but Tony is bound and determined to decorate it out on the lawn.”
“I’ll track down everyone, I think they’re watching movies.” Shaking your head you stand up and whip off your apron and look over at Bucky, “Text Pepper. I don’t think Santa will leave Morgan’s presents outside.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somehow you got paired up with Tony and Pepper to trim the “indoor” tree as it was referred to. Tony had brought out a bunch of old tools and spare parts and decorated the giant tree outside but got bored when he realized that everyone was inside staying warm.
“So, who is trying to convince you to come back?” Tony asks as he untangles the third string of lights. You shoot him a glance and strategically place another bauble on a branch.
“Everyone. Well, with the exception of Bucky, Pepper, and yourself,” you sigh knowing exactly where this is headed. “I’ve had several lengthy discussions with Maria about this.”
“There’s no one we’d rather work with.” He’s so matter of fact in his statement that you’re taken aback for a moment. It isn’t often that Tony is so genuine, without any hint of sarcasm. “Don’t you miss us?”
Walking around the tree looking for large holes, you snort. “I miss you all. But I call, I email.”
“You missed Morgan’s birthday.”
“Hey, that’s not fair, Tony.” Pepper admonishes from the other side of the tree and even though you can’t see her, you smile in her direction.
“Doesn’t change the fact that you did, in fact, miss it,” Tony repeats and you finally stop in front of him with your arms crossed.
“I wasn’t even settled and if I’m not mistaken, a certain group of superheroes had just inadvertently taken out a clean water reservoir that I need to need to attend to.”
“Fair enough,” Tony hands you one end of the lights and you begin to weave it into the tree. “You do realize that if you came to work here, you could help us avoid that.”
“That’s a cheap shot, even for you.” You stick your tongue out at him and tug at the lights in his hands. “For the record, I am seriously considering it.”
“Mom, she stuck her tongue out at me!” He complains to Pepper who laughs and walks away to change the record from Sinatra to Bing Crosby and White Christmas.
“Play nice you two.’
After a few minutes and another string of lights, you finally ask the question you need to know the answer to.
“Do you know what job Bucky went to DC to look at?” Tony looks up at you with something akin to fascination on his face.
“Has he really not talked to you about it? I just figured that was the reason-” he trails off when the record skips terribly and he jumps up to fix it.
Dinner is easy enough with gallons of soup and grilled cheese sandwiches to feed the literal army assembled. As per tradition at the compound, everyone gets to open one present on Christmas eve, which is always new pajamas; and everyone gets them from a secret Santa, so they’re all hideous in a spectacular way.
There are dancing llamas, hanging sloths, crazy reindeer and snowman. Footless, two-piece sets, onesies, and even some butt flaps. Hot cocoa, egg nog, and nightcaps are passed around as everyone settles down to watch “White Christmas”.
Sometime after Bing and Danny lip sync to “Sisters”, you meander out into the hallway and towards the large front windows to look at the softly falling snow.
Taking a seat on the stairs and drawing your knees up under your chin, you reflect on the past two years. Everyone came back and the greatest physical threat to Earth was defeated. You were able to hug and share your love with people you thought you would never see again.
You left.
The rewarding aspect of your job was almost to self-satisfying. You could say that you were helping to end hunger, lowering poverty levels. The work you helped with brought desperately needed medical treatments, education, and supplies to areas that need it most.
It looked great on a resume and sounded great a corporate mingles.
You liked it because you weren’t a self-serving asshole.
It was white bread and stale to boot.
But there was still a part of you that missed being even somewhat a part of the action; you missed being around and hearing about the stories. You missed being called for an assignment, even if everyone figured out that you weren’t cut out for it.
“Why couldn’t I do both?” The thought only just now manifested itself to you and how you hadn’t thought of it three months ago when Maria Hill called to offer you first dibs at her position with the Avengers, doesn’t even make sense.
“What are you doing out here?” Bucky’s voice is quiet when he pulls you out of your thoughts and plans.
“It was getting to be a little too much in there, I just need some space.” When you look up at him, you grin when you see his onesie designed to look like The Grinch wearing a Santa suit.
He’s holding two mugs and tries to pass one off to you.
“I can’t drink any more coffee or cocoa,” you whine and shake your head.
“I figured.” He says and pushes the mug into your hands, “It’s a hot toddy. Something to help you sleep.”
Taking a tentative sip you smile when you feel the familiar, smokey burn from the whiskey followed by the smooth honey. It’s sweet, but that’s how you like it. You scoot over on the step and pat the space next to you.
Bucky somehow manages to take up all the room without crowding you; that’s how he’s always been. When you rest your head on his shoulder, you feel him press a kiss to your hair.
“Is it weird being here with me?” It’s the question that you’ve been dying to ask. Everything has always been easy and simple between you two, even when you just stopped being you two.
“Why would it be weird?”
You sigh and sit up. That was enough of an answer right there if you ever heard one.
“This was my Christmas wish, doll.” You look over your shoulder to the man with the bright blue eyes and sweet smile. “I wanted you here again, even if it was just for the holidays.”
Without thinking you push yourself into his arms and wrap your arms around his neck. He chuckles as he rubs your back and pulls you closer. When you finally pull away you can see the laugh still in his smile and the longing in his eyes.
It’s been so long.
“You know, I used to get so excited whenever I heard you were coming to Wakanda for research,” Bucky tells you with a duck of his head as if he’s embarrassed to confess this to you. “The first time I ever walked into the city there was with you.”
Bucky had always given Shuri and her team all the credit for helping get back to himself; but between the two of you, he made sure you knew just how much you helped him grow.
“I may have made a few extra trips over there after we started to get close,” you concede. “I was still doing my job, but there was so much more to it then.”
“Then everything happened and then we got you all back. Steve went back for Natasha and they figured how to save Tony,” the memory of all the triumphs makes you a little misty-eyed. “Then one night there you were, knocking on my door.”
“I just wanted to talk,” he says with a laugh.
You had talked, about everything and nothing for hours that night. That one night turned into a year of quiet dinners, movie nights, and slow dancing in your room.
But in all that time, there was never any serious discussion about what you two were doing; you could deal with that and you certainly weren’t trying to initiate that talk. Everything was easy peasy, lemon squeezy between you two.
No definite plans, no routines, and nothing to catch you off guard.
Until the offer from Ross came and you knew that this was what you were truly meant to be doing. At least, you thought so two years ago; and when you sat down with Bucky to discuss it with him, he agreed.
“It sounds perfect for you, doll. You should take it if you want to.”
Hindsight had afforded you the opportunity to see that you two often said that to each other, “If you want to.”, or some variation. Not once did either one of you tell the other exactly how you felt, whether it was positive or not!
That’s why everything was so easy between you two all the time; you just always agreed with each other and nothing ever got done or decided.
“I wish we had stayed in better touch after you left,” Bucky’s comment pulls you from your thoughts. Here, the perfect opportunity was presenting itself to you.
“Why didn’t you? I know I had my reasons for not being better about it, but why didn’t you?” You’re trying desperately to keep the desperation out of your voice, but now that you’re asking, you need to know.
He hesitates, “I actually thought you didn’t want to talk to me.”
You stare at him for what feels like a full minute before he continues, “This job was a huge step and such a great opportunity for you and I … I didn’t want to be a distraction. I just wanted you to be happy and if you weren’t happy here, with me, then I should just leave you be.”
“I was happy here with you,” you pace in front of him and smile sadly. “I was so unhappy for the first six months or so that I was in DC.”
Bucky grabs your hand and makes you stop in front of him, “Why didn’t you keep in touch with me? You said you had your reasons.”
“It sounds so stupid, but I thought you didn’t care where I was; here or there, that it just didn’t matter to you.” You can feel the tears well in your eyes, “I thought you didn’t want me, so I just left you alone.”
“That couldn’t be further from the truth,” he tugs on your hand and you stumble towards him. “I always want you. Since the first time I met you across the globe to when I saw you last night at the airport and even right now.”
His warm, muscular hand cups your cheek and pulls you in for a kiss. It’s testing and slow and when you melt into him, awkward angle on the stairs and all, he opens his mouth to you and it’s like you’ve never had fresh air before. You drink in every bit of him, trying desperately to absorb his very essence and clinging to the hope of what this one kiss could mean for you both.
“You know, you both have perfectly good rooms you could put to use,” you both pull away sheepishly and look at Steve who has his arms crossed over his broad chest in his candy cane striped long johns.
“The Stark’s are headed out.” Steve turns and returns to the common room.
“C’mon doll, let’s go say goodbye to the kid.”
After hugs and kisses are passed all around you search for Bucky in the small crowd of your friends. Everyone seems to have dispersed and you remember the pile of unwrapped presents in your room and decide that you’ve had enough excitement for one night and head to your room to handle the gifts.
You spend the next hour or so methodically wrapping gifts and watching “Holiday Inn” and thinking about your future. There are two voices in your head, one telling you to stay in DC and one telling you to return to New York; you’re not at all sure which voice is supposed to be the devil or the angel.
You think again to how you could both, at least until a suitable replacement was found for you; and wouldn’t that make everyone happy?
You didn’t give a shit if it made everyone happy. You wanted to be happy, you deserved to be happy.
You wanted to be happy with Bucky.
After Christmas, you decide, you’ll call Maria Hill. Skype her with Tony and Steve, who undoubtedly will be on your side. Tony can convince Ross and then it’s a done deal.
Eyeing the present you had already wrapped for him when an idea came to you that caused you to spring to your feet and grab your coat and slide into your boots. You’d need some help with this and if this wasn’t the time for Captain America, you didn’t know what was.
Quietly creeping down the halls to Steve’s room feels insanely dumb at two in the morning. Calling or texting him would have been faster and simpler, but this was a spur of the moment thing.
When you reach his door and knock softly it takes a few minutes before the door opens. Natasha, in worn grey leggings and a ratty T-shirt, greets you.
Sleepy eyed but smiling she asks, “Did you need Steve to help with a grand declaration of love?”
“Yes,” She pulls you into the room. “I’m sorry for waking you up, but I do need his help.”
“S’no skin off my back, just make sure you get him back in time for his Christmas present.” she sends you an overexaggerated wink and you fight the urge to puke and burst out laughing.
She wanders off, presumably to wake Steve and he stumbles out a few minutes later.
“What do you need, kid?”
After explaining yourself and helping yourself to coffee in Steve’s kitchen and fixing two travel mugs to go, he stares at you in disbelief.
“You want to make a four trip to a New York welcome center for a picture?” he hasn’t even put on his coat yet.
“It will feel much longer if we don’t hurry,” you shove a travel mug into his hands. “I’ll drive!”
The next thing you know you’ve made it to the Adirondacks, done what you wanted to do and now Steve was driving you back to the compound.
“I can’t believe you woke me up for a four drive and that only took five minutes!” He’s complaining, but he’s smiling. He knows what his means. He knows how happy his two friends will soon be.
“I know,” you try to stifle a yawn. “It’s gonna be worth it, I think.”
When you get home you part ways, Steve for maybe an hour of sleep before whatever it is that Natasha does for him on Christmas morning and you for as much sleep as you can manage.
Ditching your coats and boots by the door, you fall into bed and dream of sugarplums dancing.
The banging could be elves working on toys in Santa’s workshop. It could also be someone trying to knock down your door. You pop one eye open and peek at the bedside clock that reads eight in the morning.
Two hours of sleep and now someone was breaking down your door, “Hang on, I’m up.” Hollering as you stretch and climb out of bed you head to the bathroom and run through a very abridged morning routine before answering the door.
Bucky is as handsome as ever in a lovely deep green cable knit sweater and dark jeans. He’s wearing the worn-out slippers you bought him several years ago and it adds to the charm and allure he possesses.
“Heard you snuck out after curfew last night,” he grins and leans against the doorjamb. “Wanna tell me all about your adventure while you open your present?”
You hadn’t realized, but he’d been holding one hand behind his back. When he revealed himself he was holding a beautifully wrapped package.
“I thought everyone was doing presents together?” You gesture him inside and take a seat on the couch.
“We are, but this is special.” He sits next to you and the grin fades into something serious.
“Well, you look well-rested and refreshed, can a girl at least take a quick shower?” Before he can answer, you’re off the couch and into the bedroom with the door closed behind you.
Bucky can entertain himself for twenty or so minutes and this will give you enough time to clean up and dress for the day and take of your very last present.
Over the running shower, you ask Friday to silently connect your phone to the printer in the room. But the time you’re rinsing the conditioner from your hair, it’s done and you can finish up.
After you’re dressed you realize you don’t actually have anything to put it in, so you just slip into a book and take it out into the front room with you. Stealth was never your point, but you could try.
“Feel better?” Bucky hands you a mug of coffee and you smile widely.
“Much, thank you,” you move back to the couch, grabbing his present from the pile on the coffee table. “Shall we?”
You hand over your gift before Bucky can give you his and he smiles as he rips into it like wild five-year-old.
You had found a lovely, antique hinged picture frame. It opened like a book and inside on the left, you had placed a photo taken of the two of you after Bucky’s first visit into the city in Wakanda. Both of you have sunkissed skin and big smiles; he had kissed you right before that photo was taken. It was the first kiss between you two, and it held so many possibilities.
On the right side, a photo was taken of the two of you after Bruce and Doctor Strange had figured out how to bring Tony back. There was a look of shock and awe mixed with an overabundance of happiness. You two had jumped at each other and hugged and when you pulled apart, someone had thought to capture it.
Bucky is deadly still.
He’s so quiet you wonder if he hasn’t reverted to Hydra assassin. You’re about to crack a joke to relieve what you believe to be tension when you hear the faint sniffle.
He’s crying so softly and when he looks at you, your heart wants to break.
“Bucky?”
“This- this is beautiful, doll.” He wraps an arm around you and presses his face into your neck and inhales deeply, “Thank you. It’s the most perfect thing.”
You embrace him tightly and when you pull away from him you immediately reach for the book to give him the second part of his gift when he shoves your present under your nose.
“Oh no, it’s your turn. Then you can tell me all about this late-night drive.” He wipes his face as laughs and you sigh and begin to pull at the ribbon on the package.
You could never rip apart this beautiful paper; the brushed silver background with the royal blue swirls all over it. You’re struggling for a moment until you realize the problem.
“Did you use packing tape?” Bucky laughs at your incredulity and you stick out your tongue as you reach for the scissors on the coffee table and slice through.
When you reach the box inside you can tell it’s lightweight. Opening the box reveals a beautiful knitted scarf in striking emerald.
“It’s from Ireland,” Bucky tells you as you lift it from the box and bring it up to rub it on your face. “I knew how much you liked them and I just figured-”
You cut him off with a quick peck on his lips, “It’s perfect. Thank you.”
Pulling the entire scarf out, you notice something flutter to the floor.
“There’s something else, doll.”
Picking up what looks like a postcard, you turn it over to find an awkward looking photo of Bucky standing on a street under a sign that says “Welcome to Washington, DC”. You stare at it for a few moments and then burst into hysterical laughter.
“I know it’s a bad picture of me, but I thought the sentiment might be good enough,” He isn’t mad, but you can tell, even through your hysterics, that he’s confused.
“Is this a grand declaration?” You look to him and sober up quickly as he nods.
Reaching for the book and slipping out the photo you had just printed you hand it over and simply say, “Ditto.”
Bucky is struck dumb looking at you in your Christmas jammies and winter boots and coat in front of a huge “I <3 NY” sign at the New York welcome center in the Adirondacks.
“That’s what I was doing last night, or early this morning.”
He looks at you and his blue eyes are bright with fresh tears, “What does this mean doll?”
You take this picture from his hands and set it on the coffee table next to the picture of him in DC. When you turn back to face him you take his hands in yours and smile softly.
“It means that I haven’t been very happy and I want to be,” squeezing his hands you scoot just a little closer. “I want to be happy with you. I was always happy with you, Bucky.”
“With me? Are you sure?” He’s so earnest and eager. “I’d spend the rest of my life making sure you’re happy if that’s truly what you want.”
Leaning in, you press your lips to his. When he cradles your head and crushes your body to his you know how right this is and deepen the kiss. As he pulls away from you and caresses your cheeks you can feel the tears prick your eyes and the smile crepe over your face.
“Where will we live?” You both laugh and Bucky pulls you into a hug and leans back into the cushions of the couch with you in his arms.
“I don’t want you to leave your job. You’re still happy with that, right?” When you explain to him that while you do love what you do, the job is stale and you miss being around the Avengers compound.
You tell him of your plan to talk to Steve and Tony about being able to do both.
“What about the job for you in DC?” Bucky looks sheepish at your question.
“You know those desk jockeys you were going to get in January?” he nods as your jaw drops.
“Buck, you would hate it. Not the purpose behind it, but the actual job,” you turn towards him, animatedly explaining things. “Sitting at a desk all day, writing reports. You’d hate it. I don’t want that for you.”
He opens his mouth to respond but you place your hand over his lips, “I don’t care where we’re based, DC or New York, I just want to be with you. I’ll take Maria’s job and work with the team again.”
“Everything else is just details, right?”
“Right,” you snuggle back into his arms and sigh contentedly. “Wherever we are together will be home.”
Bucky presses a kiss to the top of your head and squeezes you gently in his arms, “Then we’ll always be home for Christmas.”
A minute passes and you burst out into laughter, “You’re such a dork, Barnes.”
He laughs with you, “A dork that loves you.”
“That’s been my Christmas wish for years,” you turn in his arms to kiss him again. “I love you too.”
@quant-um-fizzx @broco8
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Autistic Christmas
Or, My Complex Feelings About Christmas as a Non-Christian Anticapitalist in Overlapping Atypical Neurotypes.
~
Wednesday 25th December 2019
~
Various things interact in my brain at Christmas.
I’m extremely not Christian. I was raised in a Christian society, had to sing hymns in assemblies in school, had Easter services in a church with my classmates, was given a Bible at a particular academic milestone... and always felt very uncomfortable with all of that Christian stuff. I wasn’t asked if I wanted to join in or if I believed, it was just assumed that I would come around to it. The idea that it might be unethical to raise children in a religion, or just that the child might not benefit from it, never crossed anyone’s mind. The various teachings were sometimes nice but mostly felt to me like inconsistent and untrue stories and attempts to manipulate me, though clearly it was unintentional. I bet Jesus was awesome and I’d probably have liked him if I met him at a bus stop, but I don’t want this whole... religion thing about him.
Anti-capitalist. My first memory of buying clothes as a small child and being given a choice about what was bought for me, I remember rejecting all the choices available and asking for something without brand names or logos on it! I’m just anti-capitalist to my core, I think. And I would estimate that I attribute about 90% of the feeling of Christmas being imposed on me to capitalism, which has a selfish interest in sustaining a social structure of Christmas as a time for consumption, and then embedding that structure in as many people as possible until it feels like a tradition that emotionally sustains itself. So in addition to Christmas not really happening to me internally, I have to deal with Christmas happening to me a lot externally, whether I like it or not, and I usually do not.
My brain is bad with music. I like a lot of music, but I’ve learned slowly over time that if I listen to it I’m just giving my brain things to loop. I am very prone to earworms and find them very uncomfortable. I worked in WH Smith over Christmas one time and could happily never listen to another Christmas song ever again in my life. Sometimes Christmas music comes on and I start to feel inexplicably trapped with a sensation of dread. I recognise that it’s mostly good, pleasant, catchy, upbeat music with good message! I just can’t deal with it on a visceral level sometimes.
My situation growing up was not ideal. Christmas day meant my mum’s partner was home all day and probably drinking. I would have to buy him presents, even. We were told that Christmas is a time for giving to and spending time with people you love, so I didn’t understand why I had to do that with him.
I struggle a lot with things. Folks following me for a long time know that I go through phases of minimalism and decluttering, and because of environmental whatnot I can’t just throw out a perfectly good thing so I frequently sell stuff I don’t want. Christmas presents, especially from my family (we’re not that close), tend to be things I neither need nor want, but I feel guilty about getting rid of them immediately. It doesn’t matter how much I ask for zero presents and fail to buy presents back! I get gifts and I just don’t know what to do with them. Unless I trust that someone knows how to give me gifts, and to be fair that’s quite a lot of people, I generally find it stressful opening gifts in front of people.
I struggle with waste. I love that people bring living green trees into their homes during a time when the earth is sleeping, but then those trees die. I like that people have found artificial alternatives, but they’re plastic and planned to be obsolete and they are frequently thrown away. Christmas decorations are flimsy and disposable and bad for the environment to manufacture and discard. Many (not all) people buy gifts because they feel like they ought to, and then folks are stuck with stuff that they won’t use or want to keep. I’ll bet a lot of people end up throwing out food because they made too much. If all of these things make people feel happy and good then I’m definitely never going to argue that they’re bad or try to stop people from doing them, but I just... wish that these things could be more sustainable for the same amount of effort and cost.
I don’t deal well with time, and the social consequences of that are painful. I’m learning that this is probably an ADHD thing. In particular, the experience of events that fall on specific dates and times. That includes dentist appointments, anniversaries, weddings... and birthdays, and Christmas. The latter two are particularly difficult for me, because I know that a lot of other people don’t just like them and find them important, they specifically want to involve the people they love, and it comes with a sense of obligatory participation. If I forget someone’s birthday it is often hurtful to them, and the more we love each other the more it will hurt them. If someone can support me to participate then it’s easier, but it is still very difficult.
I am disabled and poor. I have enough money to get by with the occasional high luxury purchase (e.g. use savings to buy new laptop because old one is broken), but buying gifts for people is hella expensive and making gifts for people requires less fatigue and more executive function than I have.
What this means is, when people ask me how I feel about Christmas or what I’m doing at Christmas I generally feel quite uncomfortable. I just tell people that I like to spend Christmas on my own and I won’t be with my family and I like having the day to myself, but if it feels comfortable I will go into more detail and say some of the above, and then I feel like I am being a big grouch who hates Christmas, and I don’t hate Christmas, I just hate that it’s compulsory and I feel uncomfortable when my going against the grain is so visible and can be interpreted to mean that I am a grumpy bastard.
Having said that, there are things that I like about Christmas.
Apocalypse vibe. There are no cars on the road, there are no shops open, everyone is in a warm cosy house with their loved ones opening presents... You can go for a little walk and meet hardly anyone and just walk right down the middle of a road for several minutes without being hit by a car! It’s the only day of the year when I feel peaceful when the sun is up.
No one is going to ask me to do anything. No emails from social workers, no bills, no reminders to make appointments, no PAs coming to help me do life things, no letters to send... and it’s understood that everyone has plans and everyone has a right to do whatever they want because it’s a special day, like everyone having a state-mandated birthday on the same day. Although, if someone needed their cat feeding over Christmas I would totally do it! I like the idea of enabling someone else to have a nicer special time.
Sharing light. It’s the dark time of year, and I like that a lot of faiths have a tradition of bringing light. That makes sense to me. On the solstice I often light a candle in the window at sundown and leave it lit until I go to bed, and that feels good. I usually do it on Christmas eve and Christmas day too, and any other days I’m in the mood.
Feasting. Winter is generally a less productive time of year in terms of food production, so a lot of faiths also include some tasty food, and that makes sense to me too!
So, since Christmas here in the UK is compulsory, my reclaiming of it for myself looks something like this, in approximately this order...
A minimal morning routine. Only the essentials and things that make me feel comfortable.
A little bit of tidying and admin. I always feel better when I do that, but I rarely remember, unless I’m having a day that’s 100% alone and about me. Getting some admin and clutter out of the way feels like an investment and a gift to my future self.
Opening presents. I have a little rainbow tinsel tree, and I put any presents I get around it, and sometime usually a bit before lunch I get a feeling that is a bit like, “oh, yes, I’m ready for presents now.”
Feast. I often manage to prep ingredients the day before, and it usually involves these essential components that I mostly ignore the rest of the year: nut roast, roast potatoes, roast Brussels sprouts, vegetarian pigs in blankets, peas, gravy.
Plants. I guess this is my equivalent to the tree phenomenon. I tend to all my houseplants and outdoor plants, repot anything that needs it, prune anything that needs it. Winter is less green, so I might also get the urge to invest some energy in adding to the overall future green in the world by sowing something. This autumn I successfully rooted and potted up some willow stems, so I feel quite satisfied with my planty achievements.
A candle in the evening at sundown. It’s important to share light in dark times. This often goes with a cosy winding down routine.
Some kind of gentle movie/TV. For a while the Doctor Who Christmas special was perfect, and now I don’t have a TV licence and Doctor Who doesn’t do Christmas specials any more, so maybe something like that but on Netflix?
A lot of my difficulties with Christmas come down to being autistic, with a smattering of ADHD and a troublesome upbringing. If I were with others I would feel drawn to help out with food, open gifts in front of people... and I’d either have to do those things, or explain why I’m not doing those things. Whichever I choose is differently exhausting.
I think in the right (for want of a better word) environment I could probably become a person who would rather be surrounded by loving family than be alone, and I'm open to it, but there are some complex and somewhat painful feelings tangled up in Christmas for me so it's going to take time.
To me, spending Christmas day alone feels very indulgent and luxurious. I can ignore everyone else in the world and initiate only if I completely want to, without judgement.
The Maori word for autism is 'takiwatanga', which translates as '[their] own time and space', and Christmas day is the one day of the year that I can fully and joyfully embody that.
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meta for lup coming to terms with how this whole isola situation is different from what she's used to, and maybe dealing with change in general?
mmkay, i’m gonna tackle this now, i think. at 5 in the morning. that seems wise of me, LMAO. so.
the thing about being in a situation where you were supposed to go on a space mission for two months, but it’s lasted 98 fucking years, is that… …as horrible as things get sometimes? i do think there’s kind of a routine to it. as traumatizing as it was to lose Twosun, as awful as it is to deal with the Hunger tirelessly every time, as many times as she and the crew have had to die and reset again like nothing ever happened… …it’s also something you just fall into, like… …okay, this is the deal now. she’s never… quite been able to stomach losing Taako as well as the rest of the crew, which is the reason for such a low death count; she’s always, always protected him to the best of her ability, sometimes sacrificing herself in his place. even losing Barry is easier, in part because–they both have such a weird relationship with death in the first place, and he does in particular, so she’s not as worried about him. but.
even though it’s by no means a comfortable situation, they’re all super duper used to it. more than that, they’re family, so any loss experienced, while super painful at first and sometimes shocking in the beginning–can be soothed by knowing there are other people on this ship who care just as much as you do, who are here for you in different ways. and she’s hella comfortable around all of them, to the point where if literally any of ‘em walked in on her in the shower she wouldn’t even flinch. you get so fucking comfortable with folks you’ve known for almost a whole century of your life, dude. those six other people? they know her better and she knows them better than anyone else in this multiverse, because they had to get familiar and get along, and their bonds with one another literally power the ship.
so when you take that away.
when there’s a break in the cycles, when suddenly there’s… …well, there’s no Hunger, which is an upside. it’s nice not to be dealing with a cosmic horrorterror devouring worlds and feeding off of and creating bad vibes. but that also means there’s no Light to pursue, which means… …there’s no Starblaster. for Lup, that means no family. it’s a break in a routine that for some reasons was highly unpleasant and traumatic and scary, but it’s also–it also means she doesn’t have her family. and forming that makeshift family is not something Lup can take lightly.
growing up, it was like… the twins’ parents died. they went to stay with folks who then also died, so by the time they were both twelve they were homeless and all they had was one another. and shit got really, truly awful. cold bitter winters with no roof over their heads and one or both of them getting sick. working desperately at caravan after caravan as cooks because that’s what their aunt taught them, but not all of those folks were nice or forgiving with kids. and sometimes that wasn’t enough gold, so they both had side jobs (won’t go into Taako’s, it’s not relevant, but Lup’s was specifically fighting in an underground ring and going up against folks more than twice her size as this scrappy young thing). thieving and getting into mischief. it wasn’t a good life? but they had each other. he’d tend to her bruises and scrapes; she’d help him with his own damages. things were bad, but it was okay, because they were all they had in this world.
“outcast but never alone.”
so adding more people to that outfit, when they’d both come from such a place of trauma, was… …interesting and unexpected to say the least. it took Taako much longer–cycles even–to accept that it wasn’t just them vs the world anymore, that he could trust these jamokes. Lup warmed up quicker and she was actually the one to help reassure him, time and time again, that no matter what happened they had each other, and the world? was good. was worth saving, despite everything they’d been through. hell, she was the one who wanted to go to space–had such a huge passion for it and arcana that carried her through the Academy. Taako p much just naturally aced stuff because he was wicked smart and refused to let her go alone because he didn’t want her to die. LMAO. she’s always been the one reassuring him and smiling for him and being strong for him. but because of all this, taking on… …new family? between the two of them? that’s a huge fucking deal, when all your previous family has gone, when you’ve learned that the only people you can rely on are each other.
family is Lup’s most sacred concept. elevated above all else. family means the world, and calling you her family is the highest honor. maybe it was naive, but… …even after losing Twosun, she had gained this new family. they had each other, no matter what happened.
and then. she came to Isola.
and lost that which she thought she’d never lose, could never lose:
Taako.
no matter what losses Lup has endured, Taako’s been there through all of ‘em. they’ve been inseparable since before birth. he’s her heart, he’s her twin, her other half. he’s so grounding for her that he’s one of the reasons she could become a lich without losing her tether to herself. he’s kept her going, fighting, smiling, laughing, held her, taken care of her, for so fucking long. for their entire lives.
he’s not here to help her with this one.
Lup has lost so fucking much in her life. one loss after another. her whole life has been an exercise in impermanence. but this is the loss she can’t handle. so she’s kind of having a breakdown right now. it manifests itself erratically, sporadically, in different ways. she’s not thinking clearly and kind of just throwing herself into this idea that–it’ll be okay. she’s not gonna find him here (she knows that now after talking to Susie and learning he was here two fucking years ago), but that means he’s safe, and if this place is a prison and everyone around her is stuck there, she’s going to try her damndest to do what she usually does and try to get people out, and work hard in the meantime (if she blends in and works at Ashe’s restaurant, the captors may be less suspicious). i don’t know if she’ll ever realize how futile that is. she might not ever, just because–that might break her. but i guess we’ll see, honestly.
dying is going to be… …hard for her. a new reset. i think about it a lot and i’m pretty sure i know how the first one is going to happen (she’s super determined to figure out the boundaries of this place and what ‘unpleasant side effects’ are). she’s used to dying and resetting, but… …with her family. with her home and her heart.
this change? this is the worst one she’s ever been through, and given her track record, that’s saying something.
but that’s also why i think forming new relationships here, like ones with Ashe and Kay, is so important to her wellbeing. she needs family. she needs softness. she needs people to care about, to protect, but more than she’ll ever admit she needs them to do that for her. and thank fuck for Barry Bluejeans, because i don’t even want to know what a Lup without him would look like in this place, and i don’t want to know. her love for him kept her grounded as a lich, too. and it’s probably her biggest, strongest, most important tether in this place.
she’s always had to be the one to give pep talks when they’re in the shit. to smile when people are losing faith. to keep fighting because that fire in her burns so bright and to stay strong for everyone.
but the people she was doing that for, who helped her do it? are mostly gone. so she just has all this to deal with now. she’s gonna have to come to terms with her pain. with trauma. and she’s gonna try to run like hell from it at all costs.
she can build a new life here. a new family again. but it’s gonna take time.
SO YEAH, WOW SORRY THAT WAS SO RAMBLY BUT I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS. THANKS FOR SENDING THIS IN JOTH I LOVE U DEARLY.
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