#self pity is real

[spacehistorian-art]

Fighter duo (full sketch)

The invincible combo of Ronin AU Leo and Casey entering (back -in Leo's case) the Hamato Clan's mystic power

[messrsbyler]

you. yes you, person with rejection sensitive dysphoria. this message is for you. your friends DON'T hate you. they aren't mad at you. they aren't talking behind your back or wished to cut their friendship with you. they love you and treasure you and they are good people who wouldn't hurt you like that! ok, that's all. have a nice day.

[dinsbeskar]

[bibibbon]

Todoroki Rei doesn't feel like an actual character.

Her children do, Shoto does, Dabi does, Natsuo and Fuyumi do.

However, Rei just doesn't. We learn about how Endeavor DROVE her insane with his abuse, caused what she believed was the death of one of her children, made her grievously injure another, and locked her away from all of her children for a decade.

She should HATE the guy.

Yet when Endeavor sends those stupid manipulative flowers - she sings his praises and defends him to Natsuo. Tell me how that makes sense.

People have suggested Stockholm syndrome or manipulative psychiatry as reasoning for her inane Endeavor simping despite everything. Yet if this is the case, it should be portrayed tragically, like Harley Quinn is - not portrayed "admirably" and like she is "so kind" like some members of the fandom have called her.

There's also everything to do with Dabi, and I thought surely this revelation should stir up Rei's hatred. Yet it doesn't.

She gives Endeavor a stern telling off with the rest of her children in tow (which we were all cheering at because this is the bare fucking minimum. ) The Touya backstory hits (in part from Endeavor's POV because he's so reliable as the abuser and the cause of this mess 😒. Why didn't you let Touya tell his own story, Hori!?) It scapegoats her and Touya largely to take a lot of the heat off of Endeavor. And then... she tells Shoto as the hero of the family to save Touya.

Umm...no. Just no.

Endeavor is the hero parent. This should be his responsibility - but it should never be on Shoto to save the brother who wants him dead.

Then, in the epilogue, we find her being Endeavor's carer, staring up at her dying son, Dabi.

Do we see her talk with her son, Dabi? Do we see her cry at his state here? - Nope, it is all focused on Endeavor and his guilt/ self pity.

All she is allowed to do is pose with a solemn expression behind Endeavor's wheelchair and smile cutely at her abuser when the story demands it.

The injustice at the abuse victim - incarcerated mental patient - carer of her abuser pipeline Rei's story has taken is so disgusting.

I am horrified and appalled under Hori, Rei will never be free of her abuser and neither will the rest of the Todofam (Endeavor paid for thier new house after all - he still has the power over it and them as an extension of that. Abusive bastard.)

All I can think of is how horrible it is to handle an abuse narrative in such a way - uncaring of what real people this hurts.

THIS 👆👆👆

Yes, Rei doesn't truly feel like a real character at all because of the way she is depicted.

Even though all of the todoroki backstories come from either shoto, Touya or enji we still can see and notice the horror of rei's abuse. Even with there being almost litte to no focus on rei we can still how she suffered and get a general view to how she was driven to insanity.

So just imagine if horikoshi actually allowed rei to have her own proper perspective and we see HER STORY FROM HER VIEW! @thr0wnawayy (puts some of it into deeper perspective) imagine how gut wrenching it would of been and tell me that she would somehow be okay with being enji's caretaker in the end like he isn't at fault for what happend to Touya (touya's death is literally stated to be her final straw and that she fully broke down after that). Imagine rei a young women who tried to do everything for her children and failed, she ended up hurting them even though she wanted and tried to do what she can to protect them.

Rei should ultimately despise enji completely heck there is no reason for her to like him or tolerate his existence at all. I wholeheartedly doubt that her relationship with enji can even be good in the slightest and her having Stockholm syndrome or manipulative psychiatry also to me doesn't make sense at all after the guy put her and her children through straight hell. Why is her opinion of enji somehow swayed after flowers? He doesn't do anything except send flowers (and I don't even think he has always done that) it's like she has no one. It's like the narrative is blatantly ignoring fuyumi and natsou who stay with their mother and keep her company. Heck fuyumi and natsou brought their mother clothes but somehow only enji's flowers hold any significance. What about shoto who after everything also started a relationship with his mum?!?!?

Why the actual hell does the narrative frame enji giving rei flowers as somehow more meaningful and symbolic than her children doing the exact same thing and more for her!!!!

How about we talk about how horrible rei's condition must of been if she and the doctor said that she shouldn't see enji even though she hasn't seen the man for a decade?!?!? How about we talk about how Rei literally said that she was scared of seeing enji even though its been 10 years?!?! Why does the narrative seem to ignore this moment and its exactly when this moment is ignored that her making an appearance face to face with enji holding the flowers he gave her in chapter 300 is such an underwhelming scene. I personally felt such mixed emotions with that scene.

This scene and what comes after it all feels weird to me and it fails on so many notes. Rei comes in holding the flowers enji has given her and we are supposed to interpret this as her finally overcoming her fear of enji and stepping up both as a character and parent but it falls apart because

We aren't that emotionally connected to rei (she should of had her individual arc that tied her to the family and allowed us to see her prespective)

We haven't seen the steps that led her to becoming like this

After she doesn't even properly beat or scold enji at all. It all ends up being a pathetic speech where the narrative seems to shun from putting almost majority of the blame on enji and instead she continually says its her fault (the narrative tries to paint it like it's all of her fault when It isn't she is part of the problem but enji never seems to get that much criticism)

All of these reasons are there to show that Rei doesn't feel like an actual character. She starts and ends the same and even when her son, Dabi ends up in the same position as she starts from she doesn't even speak to him in chapter 426. Actually she tries and all she says is that she has a lot to talk to him about but then enji hogs all the screentime and she stands back separated from the conversation.

Rei, unlike her family is also not written in a way to fit the families dynamic. Her character isn't logical in a way where she is supposed to hate enji after all he did. Rei also doesn't have role unlike the other members of the todoroki family.

We clearly see that fuyumi wanted a happy family and tried her best to keep up appearances.

Dabi absolutely despised his family after he learnt about his creation but ultimately even as he tried to run away he still has memories of playing with natsou and even when on the verge of death in the 2nd war arc he instinctively calls out to them.

Natsou is like dabi in hating enji and wanting to run away except he follows and accomplishes this in a different path.

Shoto is completely trapped and is supposed to be the saviour child whether that be for enji wanting him to be his masterpiece or for rei putting the title of family hero onto shoto (which she shouldn't of done at all)

Enji neglected dabi and he is the reason why dabi was made. Rei acknowledges this multiple times that what touya wanted was his father's love and attention and she even goes to blame herself saying that she should of tried harder into convincing enji to talk and spend time with his son (which she already did before but he flat out refused and ignored her)

After this rei also claims that shoto is the families hero and this puts pressure on shoto to save dabi, his brother who wanted to kill him for being enjis favourite ever though he never asked for it and actually ended up suffering for being enjis favourite.

Yes, shoto reaching out to rei was important for both shoto and her. It symbolised shoto starting to heal and reconnect with his mother whom he cared about so much and for rei it was a new hope for her and a new goal to be a good mum to reconnect with her child. However, shoto isn't the families hero. He doesn't need all of the families problems on him and he for sure doesn't need to solve them all especially when enji was the one to cause them specifically the ones to do with dabi.

Ultimately I stand by the choice that enji should of died in the first war arc giving more focus to shoto and the rest of the family members.

Enji would die in the line of duty so you would probably have a lot of people try and excuse his behaviour and this would be a good way to explore how this negatively effects the todoroki family and dabi who grows to have even more resentment and has to learn that shoto's life was full of suffering under being enji's favourite.

Rei should of had an arc that tied her into the jaku hospital arc where she learns about touya and stands up to enji at the same time while coming face to face with a lot of the new information and maybe even learning about genten himura her distant cousin. There is so much that could be done with rei and all we got in Canon was a horrible non existent arc where she is used to prop up her abuser!

In the end enji doesn't face consequences for his actions (being disabled isn't a consequence) and his whole dance in hell with dabi ain't even effective because enji hasn't experienced true hell (not to the extent of dabi). In the end enji still has people and he still has money his hell can be paradise for some people like the villains.

[codenamesazanka]

Shigaraki/Tenko wanting to destroy the false sense of peace All Might and Heroes created

.⬇️.

Shigaraki/Tenko wanting to destroy everything that lead to the existence of that house, which he conceptualizes as the embodiment of rejection and injustice in the world. Be a Hero for the Villains.

.⬇️.

AFO basically literally created that house

.⬇️.

Shigaraki/Tenko helps defeat AFO

.⬇️.

Deku telling him 'you already destroyed it' is... apparently Shigaraki/Tenko having finally gotten rid of the true cause of (his) rejection and injustice? main antagonist's big problem that represents an overarching major issue of the story/in-universe society... solved? (main antagonist's big problem that represents an overarching major issue of the story/in-universe society not actually being the problem he thought it was but now also solved?)

.⬇️.

No longer a need for there to be a Hero for the Villains, Shigaraki/Tenko dies.

.⬇️.

Heroes not to be blamed in the first place. also fuck everyone else and all other 'actual' outcasts I guess.

[angelthemanspanker]

The way some people characterise Buffy in fics like you described genuinely put me off Buffy fandom for years, it was absolutely everywhere, in Spuffy fics, in faith/buffy fics, it felt like I couldn't read a fic without the obligatory 'Buffy apologises to whoever the fuck for being so mean' and I just stopped, it was so baffling

For real its so weirdly pervasive. It genuinely blows my mind bc I totally get the urge to use your fic to call out a character/plot point you don't like, more power to you. Like I'm constantly imagining rewrites of the scenes where Xander is at his most insufferable but no one in-show is verbalising obvious holes in his bullshit (my big one is that besides a one off line from Buffy that everyone in the show ignores and a DELETED line from Giles is that NO ONE calls him on his absolutely infuriating "I was jealous of Angel being with the girl I like and I'm gonna have the gall to pretend it was bc I saw him turning evil coming" BULLSHIT)

But like. Buffy? You came out of this show and the person you had beef with and want to call out is BUFFY? THE VAMPIRE SLAYER? The protagonist of all time? Bc she's mean sometimes :( people try to apologise for trying to kill her and she's so unsympathetic :( she carries out her responsibility as the Slayer whether she wants to or not even if the person she's targeting is a character I like :( why won't she apologise. why won't she apologise. why does she insist on taking up space. why can't she just be nice all the time. yes my ao3 tag is princessspuffy why do you ask. yeah I know their relationship is abusive but I think Spike would forgive her :)

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 17, 2021 4:00 a.m. paradise hotel

three hours later

[grant] you know, i didn’t get a good start to dealing with the whole “my body is broken” thing.

[henry] huh? oh, sorry, i'm awake and heard you; i was just surprised.

[grant] the first time that, um, i got really sick after my sister died, everyone just thought i was mcfucking mentally losing it. i mean, i was, but also i could not get out of bed, could not walk, couldn’t hold a toothbrush even because my hands wouldn’t move…

[grant] and my parents, who are medical professionals, wouldn’t take me to any doctor because they thought i was melodramatic.

[henry] you missed two months of school. we went different schools but i remember that. i didn’t see you for that two months either.

[grant] they only ever took me because they got tired of dealing with me, and they were getting in trouble for me being truant. and what do you know? like every other kid with something wrong, the answer was growing pains. you're tall for your age, so that's it!

[henry] doctors are stupid sometimes.

[grant] tell me about it. i lived with two idiot doctors for eighteen years. the proof is in the pudding.

[grant] and then, uhh, there’s the whole…

[grant] the whole college thing.

[grant] did i ever tell you how i became an addict, bud?

[henry] you’ve never wanted to.

[henry] i assumed it was because people try to numb childhood trauma. and i could tell something was not right with the college hockey team situation, but i didn’t know what or if that was connected at all.

[henry] it could have come from anywhere. most everyone in college does drugs. i smoked a lot of weed.

[grant] it’s both of your assumptions. there were a lot of things i needed to suppress, and i didn’t know how to control myself after tasting the slightest bit of freedom from my parents. but also…

[grant] the dudes on the hockey team hated me except sebastian. i just didn’t click. i wasn’t the right kind of person to fit in that very dudebro jock locker room.

[grant] so, on one hand, i started on a bunch of party drugs and alcohol because i figured out that when i got fucked up out of my mind, they finally found me funny, and you know how i am.

[henry] you are really desperate for people to like you and for you to not feel like you're imposing.

[grant] it’s totally true. i need to be liked. and need is the right word. it’s not as bad now, i've grown out of it a bit, but still, the feeling is there. i need to be liked and to not be anyone's burden.

[grant] yet that’s not the whole story.

[grant] i was, um, well, also illegally prescribed a lot of painkillers.

[grant] by the team's medical people.

[grant] my health issues were already there, but playing a contact sport made it worse. i'm gonna be honest, i don’t remember what happened, but i got some kind of back injury, and i went right back to that state i was in after my sister died.

[grant] seriously, same stuff. couldn’t really get out of bed, couldn’t function. at least not without...

[henry] oh god. i don’t like the way this sounds.

[grant] i was naive enough to hope that people might do the right thing for me once in my life, so i told the medical staff, like, hey, i'm suffering, and i need help. and they just kind of, uh, waved me off and said their job was to patch me up so i could be on the ice, not fix me.

[grant] i was already trouble in all the staff's eyes because i was the odd one out in the locker room, and that's not looked upon well. so, in hindsight, i should have seen literally all the red flags or should have been brave enough to just break down and see a real doctor elsewhere again, but i didn’t.

[grant] anyway, the team staff offered me opioids and i gladly took them. and they kind of sort of barely worked. so i took more. and more and more, and i mixed them with all kinds of other substances. like, i should probably be dead from the amount of mixing i did or from just the sheer volume of drugs i took. also, no one gave a fuck how many times a week i came in to ask for drugs as long as i played hockey good enough.

[henry] and you were good.

[grant] still, the pills never genuinely made me feel better. they just got me high enough to forget about suffering. that makes sense now because i have a diagnosis and have heard nothing but anti-inflammatories are going to really work on resolving the whole pain thing. too late for that, though. i'm an addict. yes, am, not was, even if i'm sober. so, i won't touch them now. i haven't in years.

[grant] but there you go! there’s the story.

[grant] that feels supremely embarrassing to have told, but i wanted to get it off my chest. you are my best friend. more than that. you're family. you're my brother. i don’t have to be afraid to tell you anything and you deserve to know the truth.

[grant] especially because you've never shied away from honesty and you stuck with me that whole time. i don’t think most addicts are lucky enough to have friends and family that patient. and i tried many, many times to push everyone away so i could destroy myself in peace. i wouldn’t blame any of you if you had given up on me.

[grant] yeah. it's not very kind of me to receive that much, um, grace and love and forgiveness, and not at least reward and thank you with the truth. the full and honest truth, even if you didn't ask for it. oh, and a window into why i am the way i am, why i keep my mouth shut.

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[deus-ex-mona]

mona’s self liner notes for fukutsu no idol!

This song was the first of my new songs to be released. I sang it with many thoughts and feelings about everyone I know and everything I’ve gone through up till now in mind. I really love the MV and my costume too. I did fret about how well the song would be received, but I was really happy to receive many comments about how excited people were for my album♡

[howifeltabouthim]

He talked on and on, and I wanted to be happy for him but only began to feel sorry for myself.

Rachel Khong, from Real Americans

[thatsrightice]

In Part 2 of Masters of the Air, Crosby said he could make overthinking into a an Olympic sport and after reading his book I can confidently say that it’s 100% valid.

Here’s his recount of what happened during and after the mission to Trondheim, Norway in his book A Wing and a Prayer:

What did they do to a navigator who had screwed up as badly as I had? I never knew where I was. I had forgotten completely that I was to radio back a position report in code every fifteen minutes. I didn't give the groups enough warning before the I.P. If the Germans hadn't sent up the smoke screen we might have gone on to the Arctic Circle.

I had done everything wrong. I messed up the rendezvous. I should have given P.R.'s to radio and a strike message, which he was supposed to send in code back to HQ. None of that. I had left the briefed course. Because I didn't think I could navigate in Norway I took us to Scotland. Instead of being at altitude most of the time I brought us home on the deck.

What did they do for stuff like that? Court-martial? Ground me? That didn't sound so bad. Send me back to the States? Disgrace. As we headed home, I figured no headings. I computed no ETA's. I made no entries in my logbook. All I did was sit there, ooze sweat, stink, and feel sorry for myself. I grimly realized I was not airsick. I didn't use even one paper bag.

…

After we landed, I decided I could not endure the debriefing. I got out of the nose, dropped onto the ground. My frozen ankles hurt as I hit. Without speaking to the ground crew I walked off the concrete and into the woods. It was about a quarter mile to my quarters, but I made it, slinking along to avoid anyone talking to me. When an enlisted man offered me a ride in his jeep, I waved him off.

At the 418th site, no one was around. I went into our Nissen. Empty. I dropped onto my bed. The sweat. The smell of fear and shame. I could not bring myself to take off my fleece-lined flying clothes. I had forgotten to take the radio headset from around my neck. I remembered leaving my parachute in the plane. I should have turned it over to the rigger. What else?

Trouble.

I heard a jeep drive up, stop. A knock at the door.

The court-martial was beginning.

[ganondoodle]

just after i crawled my way out of that 'art-low' and i got myself excited to work on the rough draft for chapter2- i suddendly just crash and burn again bc i cant get the thought out of my head that im not a good writer either actually and my ideas are comically boring

do i really have to fight my own brain over and over again for the rest of my life (ㆆ_ㆆ)

[budutinahrobnositmandarinky]

i found this emojiridden copypasta that i made in 2020 in the depths of my notes app and i think the world (like 3 people on tumblr dot com) should see it.

twin size mattress

This 👉 is for the lions 🦁 living 🌱in the wiry⛓️ broke 🚫💸 down ⬇️ frames 🔳 of my friends 🤼 bodies 🏋️‍♀️

When ⌚the flood water 🌊 comes🏃‍♀️, it ain't💁‍♂️ gonna be clear 💎

It's gonna look 👀 like mud 🤢

But I 🙋will help 💪 you swim 🏊

I 🙋‍♂️ will help✌️ you swim 🧜

I'm gonna help 🙏 you swim 🤽

This 👈 is for the snakes 🐍 and the people👫 they bite 🦷

For the friends 🤸 I've made; for the sleepless 🚫🛌 nights 🌌

For the warning ⚠️ signs I've completely ignored 🤦‍♀️

There's an amount to take 🎁, reasons 🤔 to take more 🛒

It's no big 🧿 surprise 🥳 you turned out 📝this way 🛣️

When they close 🗝️ their eyes 👁️ and prayed🛐 you would change ♻️

And they cut your hair 💇‍♂️, and sent 📨 you away ↪️

You stopped ✋ by my house 🏠 the night 🌌 you escaped 🏃‍♀️

With tears💧in my eyes 👁️, I begged 🙏 you to stay🕺

You said 🗣️, hey man 👨‍🌾, I love 😍 you 💆‍♀️ but no 🙅‍♂️ fucking way 🛤️

I'm sure 👩‍🏫 that we could find 🕵️ something🙌 for you 🧘‍♀️ to do on stage 🎶

Maybe shake 🗯️ a tambourine 🥁 or when I sing 👨‍🎤, you sing harmonies 👩‍🎤

This 👐 is for the lake 💦 that me and my friends 👬 swim 🏊‍♀️ in

Naked 🧖‍♂️ and dumb 🤪 on a drunken🍹 night 🌃

And it should've 🙈 felt good 👍

But I 🙋‍♀️can hear 👂the Jaws 🦈theme song 🎵 on repeat 🔁 in the back 🔙 of my mind💆‍♂️

Make sure you kiss 💋 your knuckles ✊ before ⏪ you punch 👊 me in the face 👩

There are lessons 👨‍🏫 to be learned 🧐, consequences 😬 for all the stupid 🤪 things I say 🗣️

And it is no 🚫 big surprise 🎉 you turned out this way 🛣️

The spark ✨ in her eyes 👁️

The look 👀 on your face 👩

I will not 🚫 be late ⚰️

I'm sure 🤔 that we could find 🕵️‍♂️ something for you 🙇‍♀️ to do on stage 🎤

Maybe shake 🌀 a tambourine 🥁 or when I👩‍🎤 sing, you sing 👨‍🎤 harmonies

I wanna contribute 🤲 to the chaos 🦠

I don't wanna 🙅‍♂️ watch 👀 and then complain 😾

'Cause I am through ☠️ finding blame 🙊

That is the decision 🤔 that I have made 🚽

She hopes 🙆 I'm cursed 🧙‍♂️ forever ♾️ to

Sleep 💤 on a twin-sized 👯 mattress 🛏️

In somebody's attic ⬆️ or basement ⬇️ my whole life 👴

Never graduating 🎓 up in size to add ➕ another ⏭️

And my nightmares 👹 will have nightmares👺 every night 🌃

Oh, every night 🌉, every night 🌌

[somedudewithantlers]

ya girl Steve is not doing all that great in college work life

[saetoru]

my dad is so sad ab replacing his car 😭😭😭 he literally got a better one today but he’s just attached to the old one sobs

[fanfic-lover-girl]

That chicory person you linked is not only a proud incest shipper (ew) but also amenable to fascist ideology in a way that far exceeds tastes in fiction. Of course, I don't expect better from Draco Malfoy likers. Honestly, I pity the lot of you. I can't imagine being grown adult women who are THIS bad at reading a children's series.

Unlike my boy Draco, I don't waste time engaging with people who degrade my personal character.

PS. I'm not a Draco liker, I'm a Draco lover. Do your research!