#seems just unfair

[cloth0]

A rather lengthy post about my hallucination process, and how to waste a couple of hours

The setting: in The Office 8x13, when Jim and Pam bring their babies to the office, everybody is greeting them yatta yatta, and at some point Andy says about baby Philip: "He's licking on my finger just like my cat does." I remember being rather confused when I watched this scene, like... Andy has a cat?? Why I didn't know this? Why nobody (asfarasIknow) is exploiting this information for fan stuff???

But that huge discovery (!) just kinda sat in the cluttered back of my mind, collecting dust. Until today.

I was randomly recalling this scene (while taking a shower, the vapors from the scorching water really help my "creative process"), and the actual line of thought went something like:

Andy has a dog personality, and owns a cat

Oscar has a (dorky) cat personality, and owns a dog

-> cute + absolutely perfect

Uh, Angela owns multitudes of cats as well tho, how does it fit in the equation?

And so I started to connect the dots and I thought... But what if

What if after he discovers the cheating (possibly also after the honeymoons), Andy needs to speak to Angela to sort the last things out, like getting back the engagement ring etc, and maybe in the heat of the moment he's taken by spite or anyway tries to come back at Angela somehow, and

Andy: "... And I want Fili back!" Angela: "WHAT I'm not giving you Fili!" Andy: "I took her from the warehouse, I saved her. She's my cat, I want her back."

(Yup, I was thinking about the cat that Andy captured from the warehouse and gave to Angela to win her over, which in my head was i) a female cat, because yes, and ii) named Fili, which admittedly is a work-in-progress, I was trying to find a cute name that could have had a reference to the warehouse, so I went with Forklift>Foli>Fili, eh.)

And eventually Angela begrudgingly complies, and Andy finds himself with this cat, and has no idea what to do with her, but he's enthusiastic (as Andy does). The cat on the other hand is Less Than Thrilled, because cats notoriously do not like to change homes, plus she doesn't have her cat pals anymore, AND the human she's stuck with is clearly incompetent. So she strives to make her distress very clear by peeing on any available surface and staying the fuck away from Andy, engaging as little as possible (glaring at him while eating and hissing if he tries to get closer).

Andy is heartbroken. Not only her betrothed cheated on him, now not even the cat wants anything to do with him? How sad and pathetic is that? So he depressingly starts to think that maybe it's best for everybody to give Fili back to Angela.

But then one day he gets home and idk, maybe it was just a particularly bad day, maybe he blew yet another sale, maybe the whole 'missed wedding' affair just caught up with him, maybe all these things together, but he just flops on the couch and just sits there quietly, head in hands, trying to decompress and calm down.

And.

And Fili peers from a corner of the house and watches him with curiosity for a bit, then starts trotting to him, gets between his feet and starts playing with his dangling tie, which is extremely colorful as always and just so pretty. Andy opens his eyes, sees her and goes: "Oh hi".

The next morning he comes to the office with some very visible scratches on his face, to everyone's confusion/worry(/disinterest), and when Pam asks him if he is alright he just makes the brightest grin and answers: "Never been better!". And from there those two just clicked, and Fili steadily warms up to Andy, accepting to be patted and purring in return, snoozing contently on his lap while he plays his banjo/guitar, and generally do all the adorable mayhem a cat usually do, just being Andy's little princess.

After all this wild hallucination, I pondered the idea of actually writing something based on this scenario - the only real problem I saw was the 3-months period of Andy being on the damn boat. I could only see him leaving Fili to somebody he actually-really-truly trust (who? Oscar maybe? so obvious?), and when would he drop her off anyway? The entire journey's reason is for it to be a very spur-of-the-moment thing, so...

... Unless...

(that's Cooper "The Sailing Cat", check him out)

I mean?? It works???

At this point, I was totally in a "you had my curiosity, now you have my attention" mood, and started collecting some refs etc.

And it was then that I discovered that the cat that Andy captures in the warehouse is actually the same cat, Garbage, that Dwight tried to give to Angela as a present, but she refused. Which is actually Bandit, the kitty that Angela throws at ""Oscar"" on the ceiling during the Fire Drill episode, the puss on the roof if you will. Speaking of 9 lives.

Needless to say, this canon pretty much ruins my entire well-concocted (?) plan. I think I will still do something will all this brain-garbage I produced, but now I'm too fussy about it.

[fatuismooches]

Dottore and his segments get a taste of their own medicine after giving you a job of your own. (In other words, you ignore their need for attention in favor of your work, they get pouty, just like you did.)

As of late, a peculiar sight had made its way into the lab. Actually, peculiar wasn't even strong enough of a word for the agents to use. They had nearly tripped over their feet once they saw the new area of their working quarters in the lab.

In addition to their Lord Harbinger's desk (that was shared amongst the segments depending on the day), there was now another desk on the opposite side of the room, and the cute decorations on it were quite noticeable. Photo frames and stationery. A comfortable and plush chair with a blanket that dropped over it.

... A plushie version of the Harbinger that laid on Dottore's desk, commissioned by you to motivate him.

(A side thought - the number of desks the Doctor had was something to wonder about. One in the lab, one in the office, one in the bedroom - no wonder things were always scattered around the place. But that was something for another day...)

And most importantly, you, Dottore's spouse, standing next to their Lord, rocking back on your heels nervously as he introduced you as their new co-worker.

—

It all began when you approached your husband with a very simple request.

"Dottie, I want a job!" You said with enthusiasm, smile as wide and proud as ever. The scientist paused his work and turned to look at you with a blank expression.

"... A job, you say?" You only puffed your chest out more at his confirmation.

"Yes, a job. I mean, being your lover is already a lot of work for my poor back, but I want to actually work with you! With your research and stuff, like the old days!" Your excitement was completely serious and were it not for your health, it would have been infectious for the scholar. Rarely did he ever meet anyone who was truly interested in his work. But of course, certain restrictions have held you back for a long time now.

"We've already been over this. My work is too dangerous for you," the Doctor sighed as he turned back around to continue whatever he was doing.

"I know, I know, but I meant other kinds of stuff. I've been thinking like... a desk job! It doesn't have to be anything dangerous! I could... sort papers for you? Oh, and you have one of those fancy stamps, right? I could stamp them too! I could rewrite your notes... ah, and the best part - I could help you write reports too! You always liked my essays, didn't you?" You were doing your best to provide Dottore with a convincing case, snuggling up against his firm back. Only another sigh escaped your husband, not really that convinced.

"Come on..." you inhaled his familiar scent, tinged with that laboratory smell that never seemed to go away, but somehow brought comfort to you. "I've been so bored lately... and lonely," you muttered the last part pointedly. "I just want some work to take my mind off things!"

Indeed, there was always limited entertainment and pastimes to occupy yourself with. It was especially boring on days you couldn't get out of bed, or when no segment could afford you attention...

"And you know what, I could give those agents of yours some writing tips, too!"

Yes, there had been many times his employees were not up to his standards, despite how many of them fawned over him (for some odd reason)...

"And I'll be helping you too! It's good for everyone."

Of course, you always felt rather good about yourself if you managed to help him, being the Second Harbinger and all...

"I suppose I shall give it some thought-" Before the man could finish his sentence you started squeezing him tightly while hopping in delight.

"Oh, thank you! So, when do I start? Do I get one of your huge desks too?"

"I didn't say yes yet, darling."

"Shh... we both know what you mean!"

—

And that was how you now clocked in at "work" every day with the agents (later than normal, but you had special privileges.) It was daunting at first for the poor souls, even the ones who secretly admired you from afar (being in the fan club and all.) Even though initially you were merely sorting papers, you were the most important person in that room.

However, soon enough, going to work in this dreary lab became a lot more cheery thanks to your sweet demeanor. Somehow, the atmosphere had become a lot less tense since the last time the segments visited.

The agents had little to no problem speaking to you like a normal person, after you had graciously given them tips on impressing the Harbinger.

"Psst..." you were hovering behind an unsuspecting agent, reading the report she had for Dottore, who jumped at your whisper. "You know, he might click his tongue if you give him that." Although her mask covered her face, you could see that half surprised at how you popped out of nowhere, and half agreeing with your words. Perhaps she felt comfortable enough to spill the situation to you.

"I-I am well aware of that," she deeply sighed, "but no matter what I write, my Lord always seems to be unsatisfied..." You patted her shoulder in sympathy. Having worked with Dottore since the Akademiya days, you knew very well of his distaste for certain things.

"Well, that's why I was hired, friend! To make his and your life easier! See, look here, that's a no-no, he wouldn't appreciate those details, mhm, but this needs to be elaborated on more, uh huh..." Of course, being the good spouse and employee you were, the report was converted into the best one that had ever landed on the Doctor's desk.

On your lunch break, they provided you with some juicy gossip about anything they could get their hands on (the fan club had long reaches, apparently.) Frequently you had to debunk things about Dottore... (the handbook was swiftly revised.)

Needless to say, things seemed to be going well. You looked happier. Motivated. Having new "friends" as your company (that still watched their mouth around you after a single glance from the segments.)

However... an issue arose after a while. One that seemed entirely stupid and impossible.

Now that you were so caught up in your work, when the segments finally had some spare time to come to you, they were... rejected. Yes, they had come to you, fully expecting your devoted attention and kisses that you always gave them without hesitation, but now turned away. (Even more embarrassing, sometimes in front of the agents who kept their eyes glued to their strange chemicals.)

—

It was Omega, of all segments, who was turned away first. The most confident and charming of the bunch left uncharacteristically silent. He had come up behind you and traced his hands against your neck, always being the one who had no shame in touching you. You only softly giggled at the sensation and caught his hand in yours.

"It seems you've been busy for a while, dear." In truth, it was mostly you seeking him out and not vice versa, but the segment hadn't seen you invading his office in a while. The space had gotten too quiet without you.

"Mhm! But I can't imagine how much work you do. My desk is nowhere as cluttered as yours," you smiled as you felt the segment kiss your lashes.

"What do you say to a break with me?" Omega offered, already knowing what your eager response would be.

"Nah, I can't right now."

...

Your words took a few seconds to process through his head.

"Pardon?"

"I have all this work, 'Mega, and other people need my help," you shrugged your shoulders as you swung your legs. "But don't worry. I'm sure we can spend some time later!" You kissed him on the cheek and pulled your chair in before continuing your work.

Omega, the greatest segment, was reduced to a blankly staring man who had been deprived of his lover's attention for the first time.

He was irritable for the rest of the day.

—

Beta was next, the poor thing.

You were always the one he blew off steam to, always willing to listen about his gripes and complaints, offering him consolation in the form of kisses and soft words.

However, you hadn't come to visit in so long, the segment was all pent up and now the agents were beginning to fall victim to him.

Fine then - he'd seek you out. Not because he needed you or missed you or anything of the sort. You were just... halting his progress with the lack of your presence. Yes, that was it.

And so the scientist, donning his grand pink bow tie, swung by your desk.

"So this is where you've been? How boring." Beta was not a segment that you'd want to do paperwork. He much preferred to be hands-on.

"Ah, Beta!" You brightened in delight at seeing one of your lovers. "I missed you!" At least you were always honest about your feelings.

... But to cut a long story short, Beta faced the same conundrum that Omega did.

Someone got turned into a floating Ruin Machine that day.

—

By now all the segments had experienced being turned away from work. Alpha's signature scowl had become permanent. Zandy was pouting the whole day as he missed his parent. Foxttore kept to himself with a pathetic sopping wet eye. His segments were fighting with each other inside his mind, a great nuisance.

All because you were too absorbed with your work to pay them any attention.

... The Doctor was now realizing that it sounded like a very familiar tune sung by you. So this was what you felt for days on end? Now, it was easier for him to understand why you were always upset if you were ignored too much.

Still, it was mortifyingly embarrassing that his segments were reduced to this pitiful state just because you rejected cuddles a few times. Regardless, it was up to him to solve the issue. After all... he missed you too. He wanted you to be around him more often again.

And so the Doctor made his way to his beloved.

There you were, all cozy on your seat as you sorted through some papers. Really, he had no clue you'd be this productive, to be honest. At least it was proof that your health hadn't gotten worse, considering how well you were handling this.

"Aren't you the one who kept saying to take breaks?" His voice made you jump a bit, having not heard him walk up.

"It's you, Dottie! I was wondering when you'd come around. And of course, I take breaks, Dottore. I have lunch with the other agents!" Ah, another party that's been hogging your attention.

"You know, this job has been pretty fun, Dottore! Everyone's real nice, we make jokes, I get to write about interesting things..." You continued to go on about the research and while usually he'd be intrigued by your findings, this time he had enough.

Dottore picked you up like a long cat as you squealed from the sudden grasping.

"What are you doing?!"

"You're coming with me," was his cut and dry response as he lifted you into his arms.

"B-But I have to work on the big report for Pantalone!" Dottore's eye twitched at the mention of the banker.

"Someone else can."

"But I-"

"I'm not listening to anything you say further," he plainly said as he walked with you cuddled into his chest as you gawked at him.

Could he be... jealous? A wee bit lonely? You kept your guesses to yourself as he eventually bought you back to his room and laid you on his bed, not even saying anything to you before sitting at his desk.

Did he simply miss your presence that much? You felt a bit bad neglecting your lovers that much. But to be fair, they kinda did the same... sometimes. You got up to console your silly husband, who was just a man in your hands.

"Hey... I missed you too, dear husband... but I had to make sure no one stole the title of best assistant from me!" Dottore only sighed at your foolishness.

Of course no one could ever replace you.

"I know you'd rather die than admit it... but don't worry. You're lucky I'm sensitive to your feelings," you teased as you kissed the top of his mask. "I'll pay more attention to you and the segments, before they cause another headache for you, love. You'll give me some vacation time off, right?"

You laughed at your own joke before Dottore pulled you into his lap, biting down hard on your neck.

—

"Beloved, would you care to join me in discussing your work?"

"You fool, they're obviously coming to my lab to activate a new Ruin Machine."

"But [Name] is supposed to play with me today!!"

"As if, they're far too busy to join you all with your silly games."

"You all will stress them out with this arguing. Now, why don't you join me for a cup of coffee instead?"

"Grr, gr gr, grr!"

It was good to be loved so deeply.

[llycaons]

Inspired but the LOTR and DM polls...

Spin the wheel for a CQL/MDZS character!!!

*Don't forget platonic/lavender marriages ARE an option!!!*

[mourn-and-watch]

on the one hand, i think merrill should be in datv because lore-wise her arc perfectly intertwines with the narrative of the veilguard (elven history, gods and magic are her thing; not to mention that we're literally going to travel primarily through eluvians), and also perfectly fits the main theme (there is so much in merrill's story that has to do with regret). on the other hand, i think merrill should be in datv because she'd love to hang out with bellara and davrin and also she's always wanted to pet a griffon

[moeblob]

Injured on the job > gets ice cream to heal > happy android!

[bumblingbabooshka]

Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.

[idontmindifuforgetme]

Just a girl who wants to be her mother’s daughter in the ways that matter

[cjlouwho]

You ever just stop and think about how lou and oliver could be laying in a bed filming a kissing scene over and over and over again? and I’m here eating a bowl of lentils.

[valyrfia]

so why did lando get the 5 second penalty for leaving the track this week and max get a 10 second penalty for leaving the track this week….someone explain it to me because it sounds to me like the FIA are “punishing” max for last week. which would be, objectively insane.

[foreverfearlessred]

stayed in the paddock until 2am and left with a smile on his face oh Daniel Ricciardo I don’t think you know how loved you truly are by all of us ❤️‍🩹🦋 if this is the end, thank you

[starflungwaddledee]

Why so stressed Star?

Nothing bad has happened because you had a strange dream, even if it was prophetic, what difference does it make?

You have your friends and surely the people you meet at the tournament would help you in case something bad happened, you are still you and its ok! :D

starstruck gained a staggering +20 emotional stability. she always finds her heroes among the stars << prev || [masterpost] || next >>

additional asks by @bluohoshizora and @drawscutestuff ! thanks so much!

[canonically47]

theres no doubt in my mind that ayrton senna was a great driver but i feel like some (especially male) fans hype him up just to feel important or different. like when you talk about how good lewis is they’ll be on your ass about senna, i feel like they just do that not to uplift senna but to bring down other drivers & it’s just annoying

[gayvecchio]

Frannie, you are in over your head. Meaning? Meaning, guys like him don't marry girls like you. That's fairy tale. And girls like you get hurt, and guys like him don't even know it, and that's life.

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

For the birthday thing, I'll give you my fave of Omni's kids lolol :P Also I'm a Patreon ehe. Thanks and happy birthday again, for this and the blog!

Aaaaaa hello Chrystalis~ Thank you for being probably what I’d consider one of my biggest supporters, Skins. It means a lot, really QwQ

[honourablejester]

Randomly, I just want to talk about one of my favourite characters of all time, and a character that had a huge influence on me as a kid. And that character is Slanter from The Wishsong of Shannara, the third book in the original Shannara trilogy by Terry Brooks.

Wishsong is easily my favourite of the Shannara books, and it was probably the fantasy book I read most often as a kid, over and over again, until the paperback book just wore out. The copy I have today is still held together with sellotape. You know when you have that one book, as a kid? Regardless of its actual quality, although I do actually think Wishsong holds up, but even if it didn’t, it wouldn’t matter? This book is your childhood. One of your formative influences? Wishsong was so much that for me.

And within Wishsong, Slanter was the formative favourite character for me. He’s had … a lot of influence. So, just for a minute, I want to talk about him.

Slanter is a gnome tracker who starts the book working (not entirely willingly) for the villains, the horrifying creatures known as Mord Wraiths. Gnomes in Shannara are sort of like goblins in classic D&D, they’re a brutish, insular people usually found on the wrong side of heroic conflicts. And Slanter does start the book by capturing Jair, one of our two heroes, for the villains. But he almost immediately distinguishes himself by treating Jair well as a captive, because it’s quickly clear that Slanter is literally just doing this as a job, and because the Mord Wraiths scare the absolute shit out of him. Sensibly enough. Slanter, as a person, is a pragmatic, efficient, well-travelled person who’s worked with and for a lot of people of all kinds in his career, and he quickly takes a shine to Jair, does his best to look out for him, despite knowingly taking him to be the captive of horrifying creatures of dark magic. A dissonance that Jair does his best to hammer at, because he realises quickly that Slanter does have a conscience, and Slanter doesn’t actually want to be doing this, but Slanter is too petrified of the Wraiths to defy them easily.

In vain. Slanter, at least at the start of the book, is far too pragmatic and survival-oriented to risk his life to free some stranger, even if he is both fond of the kid and fascinated by his magic. Slanter will not make the decision on his own to defy his own people and their horrifying masters in order to free Jair. But. The second someone else steps in and gives him an excuse …

The party of gnome hunters that Slanter brought Jair to are moving north to meet with a Mord Wraith, when they stumble across a man all in black drinking at a pool. They’re towing Jair along on a rope, it’s fairly obvious what’s happening here. Jair hopes for rescue, but the man seems to move on without challenging them. Jair, in despair, is moving towards the pool in hopes of a drink, when Slanter stops him. Slanter guides him back and moves in front of him with a knife, knowing what’s about to happen.

Which is that, in about two seconds, the strange man slaughters the rest of the gnome party.

This is Garet Jax, the weapons master, the most badass character in the book short of Allanon himself, and quite a lot of people’s favourite character. Slanter recognised him. So Slanter knew that this gnome hunting party was about to stop existing very shortly.

One of the last two survivors, about to run, sees Jair and tries to swing at him as he flees. And Slanter gets in the way, knife first. He betrays his people to defend Jair.

Now. Maybe he did that to differentiate himself to Jax, knowing he couldn’t take the man in a fight. Slanter is a pragmatic son of a bitch. His own survival comes first. Or he does his level best, throughout the whole book, to act like it does. But right from the moment we meet him, he’s been fond of Jair. He’s treated him well, within the limits of his job, and has done his best to make sure the kid isn’t mistreated. And he …

A theme of this book, of Jair’s half of this book, is that Slanter always comes back. Slanter always looks out for Jair. Jair acquires an entire party later on, a group of people to help him on the quest he’ll shortly be assigned by a powerful mystical being, and for all that, the one person who stays with him the whole way, all the way to the end, is Slanter. Even into the heart of what is, for a gnome, enemy territory. Not always happily, not always gracefully, but Slanter …

Slanter is, in the end, Jair’s truest companion, all the way to the end.

I just. I love him so much. He made such an impact on me. He’s sneaky, he’s pragmatic, he’s the voice of callous survivalism across the book, but he always comes back. He protects Jair at every step, at every turn. He defies his people, and goes among enemies, and risks his life, and abandons his life, his old life, to help and protect Jair. He travels with people who view him with suspicion and derision because Jair asked it of him. When Jair falters, almost every time, it’s Slanter who gives him the kick up the arse (or the literal punch in the face) that gets him going again. Jair would, quite simply, not have survived this book without him.

(Or, to be fair, without the rest of his party either. The six of them, Jair and Slanter and Garet Jax, the elf prince Edain Elessedil, the dwarf Elb Foraker, and the borderman Helt, were such a fantastic party, and the dwindling party as they fight to get Jair to Heaven’s Well is absolutely heart-wrenching and gutted me as a kid (Helt, particularly, Helt broke my heart). And Jax, whatever else you say about him, went out like a fucking boss. There is a reason he’s a lot of people’s favourite).

So many people talk about characters like Garet Jax, like Rone Leah, like Brin Ohmsford, like Kimber Boh. And they are awesome. But it was always Slanter for me. He has the best arc. He’s sly and he’s pragmatic and he’s focused on his own survival, but he has a conscience, and he has care, and as it turns out he will risk everything for pretty much zero reward on the strength of that conscience and that care, he just needed the smallest nudge to do so. Jair was that nudge. And it carried them all the way to Heaven’s Well. Past siege armies. Past Krakens. Past Mord Wraiths. Past demons.

Every time I reread this book, I read Brin’s half for Allanon, and I read Jair’s half for Slanter.

The original Shannara trilogy is, in a lot of ways, very paint-by-numbers fantasy. It’s very D&D fantasy. There are large chunks of Wishsong, particularly Jair’s half of Wishsong, that genuinely read like someone’s campaign. But, for all that. It’s still my favourite. It was the fantasy novel of my childhood. And for all it’s pretty standard, so many moments do still make my heart sing. Slanter stepping in front of Jair that first time by the pool. Allanon at the Hadeshorn. Allanon vs the Jachyra. Garet Jax vs the … That might be spoilers. Helt’s last stand. Whisper’s last stand.

I honestly can’t tell if it’s a good book or not, it’s too intrinsic to my childhood to judge. But I love it, with all my heart.

And within it, the character that I love the most … is Slanter. Is the grumpy, pragmatic, doing-his-best-to-be-selfish gnome tracker that in the end proved to be one of the most loyal and courageous people in this book. Without ever losing a smidge of the pragmatism along the way.

If anyone ever wondered why I tend to like sneaky, pragmatic survivalists with varyingly-well-hidden streaks of loyalty? This is the character you can blame. Heh.

Maybe do give this book a shot, if you haven’t? Again, I cannot speak to its quality. But I love it.

[mccleans]

i'm not american but the condescending reaction everyone in the rest of the world has to shit like this has got to be so exhausting to endure