If anything ever happened to Adrian Alucard Tepes I would kill every single person and then I would kill myself
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:')
Y'all it has been such a joyful and incredible week but today has just been. So much. Too many emotions too many people and three occasions in which I said something to a large group of people and received blank and distant and in some cases even judgmental stares back (perfectly valid things and questions and it was all to people I love, and i felt smaller and smaller as it happened again and again), not to mention feeling the pressure of being needed by two different friends and being unable to give anything to either due to having no capacity to give anything, and trying to figure out why I don't want to spend time with a childhood friend anymore while she keeps trying to maintain contact (and why her love feels smothering and burdensome, and feeling guilty because of how I feel and how quick I am to try to avoid talking to her), and feeling a great deal of body insecurity again very suddenly, and trying to come to terms with the fact that the boy HAS at least once approached my friend to talk to her, which he rarely does with any other girls, and has admitted to finding her attractive, and in the midst of sudden unexpected anguish wondering if this old pain will always always be with me long after I say goodbye
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saw some art of hunter making a grimwalker of belos to cope and man am i glad the owl crew made belos into a writhing pile of goo so he doesn’t have any more bones to make grimwalkers with. like i can imagine hunter’s mental state getting bad enough somehow that he’d think to do something like that, to raise belos so he’d turn out good. and that’s the same pitfall phillip fell into when creating grimwalkers of caleb.
and damn what a cruel thing to do to a kid. to the grimwalker, hunter-his creator and probably father figure-would have created him to prove a point to himself. that someone evil in his past could have grown up to be good. that hunter could shape the grimwalker into what hunter wanted him to be. and everything the grimwalker does, he would have to wonder if phillip did the same in life, and if hunter would approve.
its the exact kind of existential crisis hunter is having in the show from being the clone of caleb. except the theoretical belos grimwalker would have to live with the fact that his ortet almost committed genocide on his entire civilization. im sure hunter would avoid being an abusive parent the way belos was. he might even be a good dad. but the act of making the grimwalker means hunter is giving the kid the same kind of trauma he struggled through. belos couldn’t accept that caleb left him, so he tried to reshape innocent kids into filling that void. if hunter creates a grimwalker, he would be doing the same with belos. he would have turned into his uncle, which to me is a very depressing way to end his story arc.
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