#seeing clearly

[ashleyfilm]

Seeing Clearly - Masterlist

Hi Everyone, hope you're enjoying this story. Here's a simple masterlist to keep up with chapters and updates.

Story Summary: Joel just saved your life, begrudgingly. He doesn't know exactly why but he brings you back to Jackson and you ingratiate yourself into his very small circle and his life. This takes place after season 1 of TLOU and season 2 doesn't exist in my brain because no.

Chapter 1 - Him

Chapter 2 - Jackson

Chapter 3 - Joel's House

Chapter 4 - The Wolf

Chapter 5 - Movie Night

Chapter 6 - The Nightmare

Chapter 7 - The Black Wolf

Chapter 8 - A Talk with Joel

Chapter 9 - The Tipsy Bison

Chapter 10 - Patrol

Chapter 11 - Joel

Chapter 12 - The Millers

Epilogue - Coming Soon

[danu2203]

[sabertoothwalrus]

I want to emphasize something about the dungeon meshi ages.

So Senshi is 35-36 here, yeah? The dwarven age of maturity is 40, and he’s just shy of it.

When Chilchuck was just shy of his race’s age of maturity, he had a kid and got married. He was 13, and the half-foot age of maturity is 14.

So, developmentally-wise, THIS is how old Chilchuck was when he became a father:

This is even further emphasized with Izutsumi. She’s 17 (and actually turns 18 during the faligon feast), older than the tallman age of maturity, and still reads VERY immature to the audience. By the time Chilchuck was Izutsumi’s relative age, he was already on his third kid and had moved away from home to the city.

Imagine Izutsumi being a parent of three. Imagine Senshi having a child of his own when he was with the miners.

Like. Chilchuck was young young.

[kkspub]

STAY ALERT!

New Publishing Coming Soon !

[chloesimaginationthings]

Pomni and Gummigoo reunite in TADC!

[fact-dogsarehappiness]

Another reason why I’m a firm believer in letting Bruce get old is because the idea of him looking and his dark haired children without his glasses on and genuinely not being able to tell them apart is unparalleled

[angelofdumpsterfires]

how i feel about all the changes in s3

[artcalledgames]

Artcalled something non sensed

Artcallednonsensed

Adding to this artcalledgames

From wordsbymm|mmybsdrow

Words by mm

Mm why bullshit Doctor whole world

Leave your Mark

Or comment

[xxplastic-cubexx]

obligatory beach divorce doodling

bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut

[thisshitisridiculous]

okay but daniel molloy pulitzer prize winning journalist who wrote a book in the twilight of his career about how vampires are real and now only comes out at night definitely has an actual cult following

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[ashleyfilm]

Seeing Clearly - Chapter 2. Jackson

Please leave comments, I'd love to know your thoughts. And if you feel inclined to reblog, that would be so nice.

Chapter Warnings: cursing, There Will Be Smut, eventually) Minors - DNI

Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!Reader Plus Size. F!OC was recommended to me since there's a lot of description of her but I'm writing her as You (Reader) so hopefully you can still imagine yourself. Black hair, glasses, tattoos, big body, wears dark clothes, won't stop talking. Joel is tv show Jackson Joel.

Story Summary: Joel just saved your life, begrudgingly. He doesn't know exactly why but he brings you back to Jackson and you ingratiate yourself into his very small circle and his life. This takes place after season 1 of TLOU and season 2 doesn't exist in my brain because no.

Chapter Summary: You meet “the miller family” and get your sleeping arrangements. 1K Words.

Chapter 1 Here

Chapter 2. Jackson

Hours later, you approach the giant wooden gates of “Jackson” the community Joel had told you very little about on your journey here. Joel said approximately three sentences to you the entire time and you were so fucking exhausted you stayed quiet too. Surely to his relief. You see guards with rifles at the top of the gate staring you down and some on the other side of the gate as it opens. You look to Joel with fear and confusion in your eyes to which he just nods. What the fuck is all this, are you being walked to your inevitable execution, has this all been a ploy to get you here to use you for public entertainment, gladiator-style. Why did you agree, at least out there you could starve to death in peace.

Once inside the gates, a man with dark black hair, the same shade as yours but without your gray approaches with a charming smile but also a confused look on his face and he speaks with another southern drawl, “Howdy there, honey, you doin’ alright?” Looking between him and Joel, you realize how similar they look and how the younger man seems like the only person around who isn’t terrified of Joel. Who seems like he must be the town boogeyman by the looks on people’s faces with him around. “I’m Tommy, the handsome younger brother of your walking partner, here.” Again, looking at Joel with the mischievous treachery you imagine he did when the two boys were young, and Tommy was trying get under Joel’s skin.

“I’m uh,” you stumble over your words not sure if you should even tell these people your given name, but before you can decide what to say, Joel answers for you. “This is Ash, found her out there starvin’, alone, figured you could help her. Also, saw a clicker out there, took care of it.” You clock that Joel didn’t mention the clicker almost ripped your head off your neck and that he valiantly saved your life. Interesting, what’s his angle, to hold it over your head, make you think you owe him something. But he’s not even looking at you, he's looking down, avoiding you both. Tommy pipes in, “Okay… just out of the goodness of your heart, for me to help, okay, Joel. Well, Ash. Welcome to Jackson.”

He waves an arm out to the side and behind him to gesture to the town. You realize that you hadn’t even taken in your surroundings inside the gates, too overwhelmed by Tommy and Joel and everything you’re learning about this man who saved you. Jackson is a whole ass working fucking town. Lights, wait, LIGHTS? Electricity…is that a dog, like someone’s fucking pet. Oh my god, food, you smell food. Laughing, holy shit, people laughing. People, lots of them, old people, kids? Is that woman fucking pregnant and smiling and walking over here? “Hi, I’m Maria. I see you met my husband, Tommy.” You look at her stomach again, and her smile and her and Tommy’s hands when they entwine them together and your face, you know, is scrunched in confusion bordering on disgust, “I know, it’s overwhelming, take a deep breath, why don’t we get you something to eat,” Maria says calmly looking you over. Tommy let’s out a chuckle at your facial expression and seems to pick up on the fact that you can’t control your face and that it tells your every thought right on the surface. You nod and let them lead you to the dining hall.

-----------------------------------------

You’re seated in a relatively empty dining hall with Maria and Tommy, Joel hanging back by the door like a watch dog or bouncer. Is he protecting the town from you? God, as if you could hurt anyone here, a bit outnumbered. Prick.  You try not to eat like you’re as starved as you are but it’s very difficult. Maria and Tommy smile politely like two leaders that get a lot of enjoyment out of this moment, watching someone eat and relax before their eyes, it’s what they get to provide. It should freak you out but it all just feels so genuine. “JOEL! There you are!” A girl, with a low brown ponytail and a hoodie, who could be described as like Christina Ricci in Now and Then that tapes her boobs down and punches boys for sport, runs up to Joel and hugs him tight. Okay, he has a fucking kid. That hugs him like that and he’s still that big of an asshole? “Hey, hey baby girl,” he says softly petting her hair, “I’m okay, just got caught up in somethin’ out there on my way back but I’m okay, everythin’s okay.”  You can’t tear your eyes away from this absolutely shocking interaction and the girl’s eyes catch you and you quickly go back to eating only to see your plate is empty, so you look back up at Joel and the girl. She slaps his arm as hard as she can, “How long have you been back and why didn’t you come tell me you were here, you dick and who is that woman staring at us?”

You cough, panicked, Maria and Tommy still watching you and sharing knowing smiles like they’re watching a damn play. Joel sternly says, “Ellie. Don’t-.” But she’s already stalking toward you, “Hello there, why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer.” And you don’t know what comes over you, but you burst out laughing. Like a full belly laugh, tears in your eyes laughing. Maria and Tommy follow quickly and Ellie eventually starts up too despite trying to act tough moments earlier. Joel makes his way over frowning at all of you like you’ve lost it. Still giggling, you ask, “How the hell do you know that saying it’s from like 30 years ago. People don’t even have cameras anymore; wait, do you guys have cameras here?” Ellie laughs, “I like you, who are you?” “Hi, I’m Ash,” Joel looks up at you when you use his nickname for you, “Nice to meet you. Your dad saved my life from a clicker and brought me here.” Tommy and Maria look stunned at your admission and all three of them whip their heads around to Joel who just clears his throat, frowns and shakes his head.

“He’s not technically my dad but..cool. Well, I’m glad you’re here and not dead,” Ellie smiles big and turns to Joel, shoulder-checking him. “Look at you, ya old softy, saving lives and bringing in newbies, who woulda thought. I’m heading home, see ya later, old man. See you around, Ash!” As Ellie leaves, Joel and you exchange a look, you can’t read exactly what’s going on in those eyes of his but he’s clearly fighting something, maybe he’s pissed you saw him interact like that, soft and nurturing with his daughter. But it wasn’t your fault, you’re just… there. Still feeling his eyes on you is burning you up from the inside, awakening something you haven’t felt in a long, long time. Something that feels an awful lot like desire.

Tommy walks over to Joel and quietly says something you can’t make out. All you hear is Joel saying “No” and Tommy saying “Please” and then Joel sighing, again. Tommy then turns to speak to you, “Look Ash, we’ve got limited space at the moment, we’re working on clearing some small apartments above the shops on main street for people living alone but it’s a few weeks before that’ll be done. For now, we’d like you to stay in the guest room at Joel and Ellie’s. She’s staying in the garage out back so you’ll be in the main house with Joel till we can get you into a new place.” You immediately look at Joel whose eyes are staring daggers at you and if he wasn’t so fucking hot, you might have been scared, but instead you feel the heat of whatever this is between you right at the apex of your legs. Then, your face betrays you, like it always does and all you can do is smirk, you actually fucking smirk at him, and he turns and walks away so fast you almost have to run to catch up.

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

[thebarefootcajun]

Seeing through the lenses of roses and zinnias

[mobius-m-mobius]

#the Nowhere Man who waits and the God of Stories who watches

[loriache]

"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."

This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.

I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.

Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)

His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:

A) a short lived person

B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.

The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.

But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".

So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.

Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.

The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.

Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.

Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!

Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!

On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.

That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.

The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.

And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.

And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.

Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.

Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.

Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!

I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.

Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!

and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.