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alteredpupil · 2 years ago

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PICK A CARD - WHAT’S GETTING READY TO CHANGE AND WHY

Literally all the piles had a heavy theme of setting strong boundaries. I might end up doing a collective reading because now that I finished this I’m getting a lot of you are going through the same things or a certain theme playing out. This lets me know a lot of these situations is karmic and clearing out of past energies or “residue”. This could even be due to the retrogrades going on at this time.

PILE ONE

It’s so funny how the first two cards are “Transformation” and “Endings and Rebirth”. This is a huge change… like moving homes or cities. This is being surrounded by a completely new group of people pile one… and you know what they say, you are who you spend time with. For some of you i got a message of you guys being in a toxic or abusive relationship and your low self esteem is letting you accept benevolent behavior. Some of you could be in denial or feel like you have nobody outside this person, maybe it’s the long history that makes you feel like you can’t let go. I’m getting you need to mend your relationship with your own self & spirit family or guides… and will. For a couple of you i’m getting pregnancy, if that’s something you were trying for them congratulations pile one! Another extreme change is how you will manage your time and balancing between multiple things. The reason i say this is extreme because overtime the little steps will make you realize that your whole life & circumstance changed before your eyes. I don’t know why i feel the need to say it but there’s a energy of your life taking a physical transformation but if you refuse to let go of the past (mainly picking up on people and bad habits), you will prosper only physically. Your self fulfillment will come from a lot of reflection and action. What’s going to help you let go of your past and toxic relationships is you’re gonna feel a new sense of responsibility and taking life more seriously. I see you feeling a lot better soon as you do thought pile one, you will feel more free and there’s a heavy weight lifted off your change. For some of you, the other person or a situation might be leaving your life so you will feel abandoned at first. Lots of mood swings but i see you taking pride in your work. Some type of truth might be coming out that will cause something to finally come to a end but i feel like right when this happens you will have come across a opportunity or started something that will occupy the majority of your time and thought. Despite possibly feeling hurt i don’t want you to stress or worry about this. You will feel you have somewhere to go if that makes sense, you won’t be left alone. My pet just came in the room as i said that… some of you might be getting a new pet! A lot of you could also start working out and if you have insomnia you will find it helps you sleep better. You could even be watching your diet and this will cause your body to transform physically, i’m seeing a confidence boost so that’s a plus! I asked for advice for you to deal with this change and if you need to go into hermit mode and force yourself to do shadow work, do that. No more running from yourself and it’s going to bring a happy change. Self care energy is heavy! Prioritize your peace and responsibilities.

PILE TWO

Okay my collective in this group could be on two opposite sides of the same coin. Some of you are influencers, models, or have some type of following. The first half is getting ready to go into “hiding” and being more private. The other half after going to start showcasing themselves more and putting yourself out there. On both ends i’m getting working on your boundaries and learning to say no. No more overextending yourself. Also side note: a lot of you will be getting heavily into skincare and grooming. It will pay off! You will attract something into your life that will change the course of your career mainly & public persona or status. This is my fiery pile most likely. For some of you this could be buying a home with your family or somebody you consider family. This is spending a lot of time with loved ones and possibly working towards the same goals. There could be a risk involved with whatever you’re taking on next but you will decide choosing this path is worth it. Okay back to the two collectives, if you’re pushing yourself into isolation because you’re letting divination or the news and media i’m hearing ?? get you paranoid then please cut that out. You’re only holding back on your own potential and i’m getting your intuition is very strong so don’t let fear mongering get to you. For others of you you’re trying to protect yourself and a partner or project. Maybe all three. If you have a lot of eyes on you this could have made you wanna go private, for some of you this could also be on social media. Just make sure you’re doing what you’re doing for the right reasons regardless of the side you’re own. You got boundaries as change and when i clarified the “why”… i got boundaries again. This pile could be working with their sacral chakra a lot and you just feel above certain things now. You might’ve outgrew certain environments and activities and want to pour more into pursuing your own passions. Be careful not to be tooooo sharp tongued but do stand up for yourself how you intend. Your skills will be valued or whatever you got to create. You’re manifesting quickly my pile two and the change for you will be having the resources to take on the next project and so on. “Never running out”. If you guys got some type of altar or are connected to your ancestors then just know they’re going extra hard for you behind the scenes. Another change is you or somebody from your past will reach out to each other. I see reconciliation or at least being civil and it goes over nicely. You both might’ve matured a lot in the time spent apart. This could even be on social media or through text. This person is a past life soulmate for a lot of you, doesn’t matter the relationship type. Why is this change happening and your life changing? Because you left a mark on a lot of people. Some of you are very kind and understanding. You could make others feel understood. You could have some messages for yourself in pile one (although this pile energy is was more confident and self assured) because you also got the message of prioritizing your own peace. You guys could dance a lot or even take dancing classes. I think this is spiritually helping you transmute energy in some type of what, maybe your past pain spills away when you dance. This could be your healthy escape per say. You value honesty and this will also lead you around a healthier crowd.

PILE THREE

I’m getting fame! Or you could be in the spotlight for a long time. You’re either bringing justice to a situation that happened and speaking out or people will be attracted to what you have to say. Some people will look at you like a authoritative figure. Even if it starts off based on either your looks or music I’m hearing, you will draw people in with your mouthpiece. Your family life or home is also going to be a place you like spending a lot of time if that’s not the case. This is because somebody gives you a gift wether physically or mentally (new family member?). This person could be a mentor figure or somebody older than you, perhaps a partner. For some of you, you’re moving in with a spouse or partner. You will be torn between two opportunities presented to you by a fire sign man, or he will try to get in the way of these opportunities. It’s the start of something new but I don’t know if I would go for it, it’s not a extraordinary offer. There could be a male figure that’s more on the aggressive side leaving you confused. It’s important you make big decisions by consoling yourself last and coming to the finale choice. Don’t let anybody else make it for you because I’m seeing this change can very well be you left confused when it comes to making money. Especially if this is somebody that never helped till they seen something go good for you, they might unintentionally sabotage it. Selfish intentions. Also if you’re around a lot of people or receiving a lot of attention, up your boundaries. For some of you this is somebody new that comes in full force and tries to have a say on what you do. They could disguise themselves as somebody of importance, might really have that power too but I’m getting “check their history” out. You’re not naive, you got it, pile three. Something you read or a piece of information you receive will cause you to put your mind at ease. Some of you could be holding on to something that’s hurt you for a long time or some type of conflict. This information you’re getting ready to receive or see is going to do a complete 360 for you, maybe you’re forgiving somebody. Some of you might be a bit ruthless and you could see somebody who did you wrong life is in shambles. This might make you happy and let go of the situation. For others of you this is information that changes how you see yourself and the world. Beautiful change regardless of some of you being on the darker side of said change lol! This is my pile that’s not so forgiving or holds onto resentment. It’s giving water sign energy. If you recently did a protection ritual, that shit is workinggggg! Either a protection or road block opener spell that’s going to remove anything that was holding you back. Maybe this is how some of you end up taking off as far as fame, people can really pick up on your energy. You will have a certain glow to you that wasn’t there before, maybe it’s in the way you smile or your facial expressions. Your internal showing, you guys know the expression wearing your heart on your sleeves? I’m getting some of you will be wearing your energy on your face. The more confident you get, the more your power is increasing. You’ll be more grounded in time to come and therefore it will be easy for you to maneuver through situations that could’ve left you uneasy or anxious in the past. The change is you’re not overthinking as much and acting more. Those of you that are going through a rebirth, this is because you’ve emotionally matured. Side note: I’m hearing “I wanna take it! I wanna take it!”. This rebirth is also induced by whatever creative project or creation you’re making. You will benefit from being emotionally and intuitively connected to yourself, therefore the rebirth and creative overflow. A lot of you will be transmuting that pain you hold into success. That’s beautiful pile three. This is my pile I feel like I don’t gotta touch on shadow attributes as much because I’m getting you guys already know that about yourself and working on changing it. You’re attracting fame, material, healing, protection, and grounding.

You’re attracting a fresh start. But the one thing I want you keeping a eye on is your money sources and income. That could be changing for the worst only due to stagnation, indecisiveness, or confusion. I have no idea why it said this paragraph was getting too long so I had to finish here. Overall though, the emotional fulfillment you’re going to be in is a major point in why you’re attracting the good. So don’t run away from how you feel or try to shut it out pile three! It’s going to aid in your journey to success.

PILE FOUR

I don’t know what you’re doing differently but the change is the way people perceive you. I’m getting you will be more respected by your community and people in close proximity. If some of you are entertainers or service providers of some sort, your work will be a lot more respected. Your reading just got kinda crazy pile four. You’ll be a lot more sharped tongued and on guard. Some people might walk on eggshells around you because they know you will pop off if you hear the wrong thing. But I’m getting all this happens because you went throught or going to find out that a bunch of people you though you could trust or be indifferent towards could’ve been talking behind your back or being sneaky. For some of you this could literally be somebody stealing from you… money, clothes, ideas, material. I’m not gonna lie at first you might feel your heart just dropped to your stomach but this is going to make you mentally stronger and more on guard. There is sooo much air energy here which is crazy because I was gonna say this is my overthinkers. You could be replaying people mean words or betrayal over and over in your head, for some of you this could leave you feeling mentally stuck and bound but know you are not pile four. I’m getting being in isolation is not going to do you well, go out even if it’s alone. Go in nature, do activities, do self care. Remember the bad bitch that you are. You’ll be stepping into your masculine energy, some of you I’m heard are literally playing chess. It’s giving ice queen. If people know that you found out about something I’m getting a scenario of going to a job for example the next day or the same party place and people just seeing you and going quiet. They don’t want any problems lol! Your demeanor changes, you’re being more bold. If you played nice with this group or person at first you will remind them of who you really are, some of them literally feel like they’re dealing with a different person than the one they met. But I’m also getting your ideas are very rampant at this time, keep them to yourself and write them down! People want the knowledge and ideas you possess for themselves. This pile could already have something to prove they’re successful or can get shit done so this leaves people wanting to do the same. I’m getting you’re gonna be very happy while you’re icing people out. Like “okay, I let this go on too long” and having a blasting reminding people what is and isn’t acceptable. You might make certain people feel like cowards because the mess they were spewing they won’t be able to say to your face. I’m just getting don’t take this out on everybody pile four, “keep your allies”. A little situation that happens can’t take you off your path or change your destiny, it can only keep you mentally bound and steal time you could be using to fulfill your destiny. On a good note, I feel like you are going towards your life purpose! You’re just going to clear out karmic cycles on the way. Despite all this you’ll be in a state of bliss almost, some of you literally have a secret weapon. What do I mean? When situations like this occur, there’s somewhere you go physically or in your mind that literally “powers you up” is what I’m hearing. This could be anything and will be different for all of you - a memory, a person, a skill… you are more cunning and calculated than some people realize. A lot of people might be fooled by your looks and underestimate you. You guys also got similar cards to pile three, if you feel called to check that pile out do so. For some of you there is a friendship or partner coming your way that keeps you feeling strong and on your A game, you guys could be going through similar situations. I’m sorry if this pile feels more “negative” per say but I’m getting a lot of this change is mental and about how you navigate whatever the world throws at you (nothing you can’t handle). I asked for a positive change cards for you guys and wow! If some of you been struggling, homeless, or just living in poverty. You’re literally going to the queen of pentacles!

If the situation I was speaking on earlier is a job situation, the reason so many people are gossiping about you is because you could be making the most money or out hustling everybody. Keep going pile four, it will all be worth it. I’m hearing by end of the year you’ll be living a lifestyle you always wanted. If you hold back from snapping on people I’m getting you’ll be happy with this decision because you know they’ll be watching you live your best life with no acknowledgement from you.

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #pac reading #pick an image #pick a picture

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nutal · 6 months ago

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URGH NEW GUITARSPEAR (multichaptered ???) fic idea hear me out IM GONNA YAP SO MUCH also for convenience sake, Eve isn’t existing in this universe LMAO also warnings for like abuse n shit

But like it’s a human/modern au and Adam’s with Lilith, and they’ve been married for a while now. Lilith’s always been a little manipulative, but now she’s gotten subtly abusive almost, very demanding and Adam suspects she’s cheating too. One night she straight up just kicks him out of the house for that night saying he can find his own place to sleep because she’s not willing to share a bed with him nor even let him on the couch after a heated argument. He resists heavily, but only gets way too much slack for it there’s no way he can stay with that psychotic bitch admittedly.

He’s obviously really pissed the fuck off, but he ends up walking out late near the suburbs, ending at a nearby park. When he’s there, he finds Lute!! And she’s also alone, just by herself, sitting on a bench seeming really irritated/isolated herself due to her annoying ass roommate vaggie. He’s got nothing better to do so he tries talking her up a bit, and the conversation veers into smth like this:

“Shit, you seem fun. What’s your name?”

“Lute.”

“Lute? Weird name but sick as hell.”

“What are you doing here?” she snapped.

“Oh, so you’re not even gonna ask me my name back?”

She sighed. “What’s your name?”

Or like smth like that and then they explain their issues to each other, mainly adam to lute and while she’s very hesitant of him at first she is admittedly curious as well. And then eventually she’s like, “wait I think I recognize you” and then he’s like “Yeah? With a face like mine I’m hard to miss” or smth like that and she’s like “ur that guy from the band that sometimes plays at the bar I go to” and he’s like “well shit, that’s me. You should come see us more, we fucking rock” and then they just keep yapping til morning getting familiar with each other until adam like passes out, and she has to wake him up.

Back at home, Lilith’s behavior jus keeps getting worse until Adam finds out for good she actually IS cheating when she catches her in bed with Lucifer. The next time Lute shows up to the bar, she sees Adam and tries to catch him after the show, asking him how everything is and he explains what happened over a cig and lowkey? She’s pissed because she gets what it’s like to be betrayed like that then have to live with it bc of how Vaggie constantly acts. So, she ends up helping him out, even eventually offering him a place to stay in her apartment for a while after some time with lots of precautions at first until theyre more comfy with each other. Also Vaggie is so angry with this its lowkey funny and then they just give her shit for it LMAO

THEN as adam and lute spend more time together, unexpected feelings get involved and when they finally accept it, they entertain a revenge cheat thing. Like if Lilith’s gonna cheat on him? Fuck it, he’ll do it back, and then he divorces her after she finds out so she can get a taste of her own medicine. Around like a month passes and after some legal proceedings, he gets the rights to the old marital house and lets Lute hang around there sometimes, also letting her crack out on some of the property he was able to get too. And boy is it satisfying when they take advantage of that same bed Adam caught Lilith and Lucifer in one time. Revenge coming full circle.

MY BAD FOR THE HUGE YAP SESSION COULDNT HELP MYSELF obviously a lotta details might change but heres this random ass premise i stirred up at *literally* 1:00AM thanks for reading this whole shitshow if u somehow made it this far im literally gonna write this i swear i cant wait

#hazbin hotel #guitarspear #hazbin hotel adam #guardrock #hazbin hotel lute

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daechwitatamic · 2 years ago

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VI. Don't Think About Him || KNJ

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love.

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

You try - and fail - to figure out who and what you want.

Section Warnings: excessive drinking, bar scenes, language, kissing, groping, maybe grinding idk

WC: 6k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Sunday October 28th

Fire burns low in the hearth, but my feet itch and beg to go, into the night where the wolfpack hunts, into the storm of wind and snow.

I can hear only their hunting song. The blizzard steals from me my sight. I have no map to traverse this land, But I peer wistfully into the night.

The wolves, the storm, the wild land, Even still I must decide. I know despite the dangers, I can’t afford to stay inside.

“That’s fucking terrible,” you mutter, closing your book and scooting it away from you in disgust. “Wolves? Am I fourteen? For fuck’s sake.”

Still, it does touch on how you feel: like proceeding forward will result in you getting ripped to metaphorical shreds - but staying here, stuck in the familiar just because you’ve deemed it safe, would somehow be worse.

“Talking to yourself?” someone asks, and you jump with a shriek.

“Namjoon!” you scold, as you register that it’s him in the doorway. “I thought you weren’t home for a few more hours!”

He crosses the room and tosses his bag onto his bed. “Yoongi has a lead foot.”

“How was it?” you ask mildly.

Namjoon wiggles his head, indicating both good and bad. “The brewery was really fun,” he says. “And it was nice for us all to hang out and talk at the house. We all used to dorm together… it’s been weird not living in the same place as them. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”

This makes you smile. You’d been to that dorm once or twice, but you’d refused to hang out with Taehyung there because… well, dudes are stinky. And you’re not a clean freak by any means, but it was a little gross over there.

“Well it was lonely and boring here,” you report. “I’m glad you’re back.”

You’re instantly unsure if that was too forward, too much. Namjoon going away the literal day after you’d kissed him had given you plenty of time to think in private, but it had also given you room to sow doubts in your own mind. But Namjoon smiles shyly, pleased, so cute it makes your toes wiggle.

“I’m glad to be back too,” he says. “I’m gonna go shower and unpack. Have you made plans for dinner yet? We could order later?”

You hadn’t, but you have a feeling Taehyung will want to hang out after two days away. “I have plans,” you lie, figuring it will end up being true.

“Ah, no problem then,” Namjoon says easily, and heads into his room, closing the door behind him with a little wave.

You text Taehyung - “welcome home!! dinner later?” - and get up to start some laundry. By the time it’s done washing, and drying, and you’ve folded it, he still hasn’t answered.

You try again - “hello??? this is y/n, looking for signs of life???”

This time, the response is almost immediate.

[4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: sorry [4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: can’t tonight

In the end, you walk to campus alone, eating by yourself in the far corner of the cafeteria. You’ve splurged on ordering too much lately when these meals are built into your tuition. Besides, you don’t want Namjoon to know that your “plans” fell through.

Friday November 2nd

Angel on the right… Devil on the left…

You look side to side, conflicted. Such a strong case for each.

“Are those for tonight?”

You jump, spinning away from the two Halloween costumes you’ve laid out on your bed. It’s not like Namjoon to come over to your side of the apartment; in fact, you’re not sure he’s ever talked to you while you’re in your own room. It’s usually you going over to his door to bother him, if you aren't both in the living room or kitchen.

“Yeah,” you say. “I can’t decide. You’re coming?”

“I think we all are, except Yoongi,” Namjoon tells you. “I’m going as a detective. I have a magnifying glass and everything.”

You laugh. “I can’t wait to see that. Any thoughts on which way I should go tonight?” You mean the costumes. You’d texted Taehyung for his opinion and he’d returned with, “flip a coin”. You’re not sure why you expected anything else from him.

“I think that’s going to depend on your mood,” Namjoon teases. “How are we feeling today? Naughty or nice?”

You raise your eyebrows. Was that… outright flirtation? “What if I’m feeling both?” you ask.

He laughs. “You need one of those half-and-half costumes. I’ve seen them in the stores.”

You have too, but you think they’re cheesy. “I think I’ll go devil,” you muse, a finger on your lips as you consider. “The angel wings are pretty cumbersome. And the bars are going to be slammed.”

“Naughty it is.” Namjoon flashes you a grin and disappears from your doorway, throwing over his shoulder, “No complaints from me!”

You slap a hand over your mouth to muffle the giggle. Well this is new, and damn, you want to keep playing.

You Uber together to the first bar of the town’s Halloween pub crawl, the guys waiting for you outside. Taehyung howls in laughter at Namjoon’s long coat, fedora, and magnifying glass.

“I see the devil won the coin toss,” he says to you, grinning.

You roll your eyes, still a little peeved that he couldn’t take anything seriously, even when you needed him to. This was a trivial thing, but still. It wasn’t a lot to ask.

Jungkook hands you and Namjoon a flyer with a QR code - it listed the locations of each bar and what time the group would move, in case you got lost or missed the exodus. Inside, you have to pay to get wristbanded, but the wristband earns you special prices at each of the stops.

“This does not go with my costume,” you pretend to pout, the bright yellow wristband glaring against your short, red dress.

“I think everyone will understand,” Namjoon teases. Taehyung appears on your other side, pointing out the little laminated sign that advertises this bar’s drink specials.

“You two need to catch up,” he insists.

Three hours and two bars later, you think you’ve achieved this. You and Taehyung cling to each other’s arms, holding each other up, somehow taking turns being the one who needs help staying upright. The first two bars had offered specials on shots, but this one only has special offers for mixed drinks and beer.

“Do we pay full price for shots, or do we let The Man tell us it’s time to settle down?” you muse loudly into Taehyung’s ear.

“Don’t start with that shit,” he tells you. “This is Halloween, not a hippie convention.”

“I see at least four hippies,” you sniff indignantly.

“I think you’re seeing double,” he counters. “No more shots for you.”

“You aren’t in charge of me!” you yell, and head for the bar at a clip, ankles crying for mercy in your heels. You grasp the bar in both hands when you get there, steady yourself, and then reach up to fix your horn headband, which had been starting to slide. You thought Taehyung was right behind you, but when you turn to look, he’s talking to a girl in a mermaid costume.

Of course.

It’s fine.

The bartender finally catches your eye and you flash your wristband, indicating you’ll take the special. He nods, turns and picks up a bottle. A body settles beside you; you turn, expecting that Taehyung caught up, or maybe Jungkook stopped by for a beer. Instead, a guy you’ve never seen before smiles at you.

He’s in scrubs, complete with a fake stethoscope (you think it’s fake, anyway) slung around his neck. His nametag reads Dr. Love. You laugh out loud. “That’s so corny,” you say, your filter well and gone for the night.

Luckily, he laughs too. “It’s sewed on!” he protests. “I honestly almost Sharpied it out, but I thought that would look even stupider.”

He’s really cute, you notice. He looks… clean. Older.

“You look…” he trails off, letting his eyes roam to your feet and back appreciatively, “phenomenal. Is there an angel wandering around here looking for you?”

You grin. “Just me.”

If Kim Taehyung can find a hookup everywhere he goes, why can’t you?

But as you lean against the bar and take a sip of your drink, your eyes scan the bar before you. In the mirrored wall behind the team of bartenders, you can see a slightly distorted view of the patrons and all of their costumes.

Your eye catches on a detective.

Namjoon’s eyes hold yours through the mirror, though he’s about six seats down from you. There’s a tiny smile on his lips as he sips at what looks like a beer. A smile that says maybe he should have expected this. It’s the same face he’s seen on you when Taehyung does exactly what he did tonight.

Beside you, Dr. Love is asking you something, but you don’t hear him at all. You don’t want to be here, in this spot, anymore. You want to be six seats over.

“I’m sorry,” you say, interrupting him, plastering a sickly-sweet smile on your face. “I just found one of my friends, and I’d lost them. Enjoy your night, though!”

You slip away before he can protest more than a syllable, before you can really register the disappointment on his face and feel guilty about it. Better luck next time, Doctor, you think, as you make your way to Namjoon.

As soon as you’re close enough he extends an arm, making a space for you right next to him. His arm tucks you closer, protective. He walks with you towards the far end of the bar, where it’s marginally less crowded. Once you settle into a spot there, he doesn’t remove his arm. His fingers rest on your bare, body-glittered shoulder, moving imperceptibly now and then, as if they have their own agenda.

“Are you having fun?” you ask him.

“Loud bars aren’t usually my thing,” he answers. “But the costumes are great.”

There’s a lot of alcohol in your system; your filter’s taken a hit. “I like this,” you sigh happily, closing your eyes for a second. You think you sway on your feet a little. The arm around your shoulders tightens.

“Like what?” His voice has gone deep, and you shiver a little. You want to kiss him again; you’d blame the shots but you’ve been thinking about it since it happened. The drinks just make it louder.

“Your arm around me,” you tell him honestly, and he ducks his head, dimples appearing along with a blush.

He shakes his head, still smiling. “You’re drunk,” he accuses playfully.

“It’s a Halloween pub crawl,” you point out flatly. “I’m supposed to be drunk.”

“That’s a fair point,” he allows. Then, he peers at you through squinted eyes. “Are you okay, though? How drunk are you?”

You consider this. “Drunk enough that I want to kiss you again, to hell with the consequences. Not too drunk to remember that there would be consequences.”

The playfulness leaves his face; it’s too obvious not to notice. “Consequences like what?”

It’s a challenge. He knows you know it.

“Namjoon,” you say, a little pleading. Don’t.

“Consequences like Taehyung would see?” he presses. His voice has gone hard. He’s tiptoed around this issue before, but it’s the first time either of you have ever really given it life.

You feel like you want to cry. “Are you mad? About Taehyung?”

He softens. His fingers brush your shoulder again, absently. “No,” he admits, deflated. “No, I guess I’m not. But we both know that’s what you meant.” He removes his arm from your shoulders. It hangs listlessly at his side. You feel its absence painfully, like it had kept you tethered and now you might float away.

“Hey,” you say sharply, and reach for his hand. You miss and get his wrist, but you hold it like your life depends on it. He looks at you curiously. “I like you,” you tell him firmly. “A lot. I’m trying not to mess everything up - with anyone. But he’s my family, and if I lose him…” You take a deep gulp of air, trying to will your pulse to calm, your stomach to settle, your eyes to clear of stupid tears. “I have no one left. It feels… delicate,” you finish finally. You need him to understand. You wish you were better at explaining.

Namjoon twists his wrist from your grasp gently, but takes your fingers in his. “What about me?” he asks, voice a little pouty. “We aren’t delicate?”

You smile at him, relief giving you more of a high than anything else could right now. “No,” you say, and touch his chest lightly, just over his beating heart. You brush your hand down his chest, drop it to your side, and turn to stare out at the crowd. “No,” you say again, finishing the thought. “You aren’t delicate at all. You’re steady. That’s something I really like about you.”

There’s a moment of silence that stretches between you, tension building like a bassline, and then he gives a tug to the hand he’s holding. You turn back to look at him.

“What do you want, Y/N?” he asks plaintively.

You open your mouth immediately to answer, but he cuts you off.

“Don’t think about him when you answer that,” he commands seriously, fingers clutching yours so tightly it almost hurts. “Don’t think about anything else but you and me. What do you want?”

What do you want?

“I…” you start feebly, unsure how you’ll even finish the sentence. “I want…”

Jimin rushes up to you, breathless, grabbing both of your arms. Namjoon drops your hand like it’s burned him. If Jimin notices, he doesn’t let on.

“We have to go,” he pants. “Literally right now. Jungkook hit on some huge guy’s girlfriend, it’s about to be a thing. Help me find everybody?”

“Where are they?” Namjoon asks, quickly setting his beer glass on the bar and reaching for your drink too. You let him take it, eyes wide.

“Taehyung grabbed Jungkook and ran - I think they’re outside. Have you seen Hobi? Or Jin?”

“Jin left with a girl two bars ago,” you supply, glad to be able to help.

“I see Hobi,” Namjoon says, craning his neck to scan the crowd. “I’ll go get him. Y/N, go with Jimin, we’ll meet up outside.”

He moves without waiting for an answer, wading through the crowd in what must be Hobi’s direction. Jimin takes you by the hand - it feels much different than it had felt a minute ago with Namjoon - and leads you through the crowd hurriedly, dodging people left and right. You look over your shoulder as he pulls you, trying to find Namjoon in the sea of people, but you can’t.

Outside, Jungkook seems to be arguing heatedly with the bouncer.

“Come on,” Taehyung is telling him, looking honestly pissed. “Let’s just go. The night’s already ruined, let’s just leave.”

You pull away from Jimin and head for Taehyung.

“Hey,” you say softly, resting a hand on his arm. He turns on you, still furious, but you don’t waver. “Take a breath,” you tell him softly.

His temper gets the best of him sometimes.

He shakes his head, angry, but you see his chest move as he obeys anyway. A second later he says, more calmly, “Come on, Jungkook, we can even go somewhere else if you want. We won’t have fun here, that guy’s friends are all worked up in there.”

Jungkook relents as Hobi and Namjoon join you on the sidewalk. You slide your hand off of Taehyung’s arm, feeling weirdly guilty.

“We rallying?” Hobi asks hopefully. “Or did we kill the buzz?”

“Rally!” Jimin cheers, going over and shaking a sullen Jungkook’s shoulder. “Come on! The night prevails!”

“I’ll go somewhere else,” Taehyung says.

“I think I’m done,” Namjoon says, glancing at his phone for the time. “I’ll Uber from here.”

“Y/N?” Taehyung asks, looking to you. For a second, you’re not sure why. Then you realize - you either have to Uber home with Namjoon, or opt to continue on with the rest of the guys.

The angel whispers that you haven’t hung out with Taehyung as much lately.

The devil whispers that you and Namjoon could be all alone.

0-2 for the angels tonight.

“I’m tired,” you say. “I’ll Uber with Namjoon. You guys have fun though. JK, try to keep it in your pants.”

He flips you off wordlessly, still sulking.

They all tell you goodbye, Taehyung giving you an extra-tight squeeze with his hug, and they walk down the block to find another bar. You turn to Namjoon, who’s tapping at his phone to order a ride.

What do you want? His question floats in your head.

You don’t know. You want too much, too many things, too many contradictions.

It seems like Namjoon knows, and forgives you. He silently holds out a hand, waiting. You take it, keeping it tight in yours, not letting go even as you slide into the backseat of the Uber, as it weaves through the neighborhoods until it stops in front of your building, as it drives away, leaving you lit in red taillights before vanishing around the corner.

You’re standing on the sidewalk in front of your building’s front door, Namjoon’s hand in yours, your eyes sleepy but your pulse racing.

He tugs you towards the stairs, and you think he’s going to lead you inside. Instead he spins you and presses you back against the stone balustrade, one hand splayed across the middle of your spine, the other cupping your jaw as he kisses you insistently.

You open immediately for him, giving a happy noise low in your throat. His spare hand, the one not holding you up off the rough stone below, grips the back of your neck for the barest of seconds before continuing down - rubbing patterns past your shoulder blade, the middle of your back, down to the dip of your waist, the swell of your hip, the meat of your ass. He’d better appreciate every curve, you squeezed into spanx for this dress.

You grip at the lapels of his ridiculous detective coat, the earth spinning in circles around you in a blur. You’re aware of only where your hands bunch the fabric, of only where his teeth and lips and tongue clash with yours, of only the fiery path his hand traces up and down your body. You melt into his touch, wanting more, trying to pull him closer, trying to get lost in each sensation.

He breaks the kiss to nip a line of sharp nibbles down your neck. You whine, trying to give him more room. His hands come to rest on your ribcage, thumbs not quite reaching your chest, which has to be a conscious decision on his part. You can feel the cold night air on your thighs; your dress has ridden up. This snaps you out of the moment a little.

“Namjoon,” you murmur, but it comes out a little whiny as he continues to nibble down near the juncture of your neck and shoulder. “We should go inside.”

He stills, then pulls away, eyes seeking yours for any signs of discontent. “Yeah,” he says finally, one syllable all he can handle. “Come on.”

He releases your body gently, letting you find your balance on the pavement. Then, he leads you up the stairs and inside. In the threshold of the apartment, you look at him, a question on your face.

“We’re both really drunk,” he says apologetically, reaching out to brush some stray hairs away from your face. “We should probably cool down a little.”

He’s right - you know he’s right.

“Yeah,” you say, letting the front door close behind you. “Okay.”

You press one palm against the wall for balance as you fight with your shoes, sliding them off one at a time.

Namjoon’s in his room, but the door hangs open. You pause in the doorway of your bedroom, realizing you have a problem.

“Um, hey,” you call across the living room, and he takes a few steps to come look at you. He’s lost the hat and the long coat, and his button-down is undone, revealing a tight, white undershirt beneath. “I promise this isn’t a come-on,” you say, biting back a smile. “But I legitimately can’t reach the zipper on this. Can you-?”

“Of course,” he says, crossing the living room. You turn your back to him, presenting the zipper. He gently sweeps your hair off of your nape and places it over your shoulder. You shiver, goosebumps rising along your arms, and you hear him hum a pleased noise at your reaction. You feel him fumble with the hook-and-eye at the top, and then the zipper sounds. He pauses halfway down your back.

“That good?” he checks. “You can reach that?”

“Yes,” you say, turning back to face him. He’s still got a bit of your lipstick on his mouth, and it makes you have to fight off a smirk. Down, girl. “Goodnight, Namjoon.”

He looks at you for a long minute, expression unreadable. Finally, he says, “Goodnight,” and steps back out into the darkness of the living room. When he gets to his room this time, he closes the door behind him with a soft click. You stare at the inch of light that comes from under his door for a minute before hurrying to close your own door against the dark.

Sunday November 4th

You spend most of Saturday in bed, heart and head both pounding, which means you have a lot of homework to cram in on Sunday.

After you shower and eat, you set up in the living room to get some work done. Namjoon’s door is halfway open, and you can hear the clacking and bass thumps that mean he’s writing in there.

Midafternoon, he appears in his doorway, stretching widely. Your eyes skim the inch of stomach exposed with the stretch and then flick back to your page before he can catch you.

“How’s it going?” he asks, heading into the kitchen.

You twist your mouth, eyeing your laptop and the text spread open on your lap. “I guess it’s going. Sort of.”

“What are you working on?” he asks.

“A paper for one of the bullshit general classes,” you tell him. “Which makes it more challenging, because I deeply do not care.”

He laughs at this, then plops onto the couch a few feet away from you, a water bottle in his hands.

“How about you?” you ask. “It sounded like it was going well.”

“It was going okay,” he agrees. “I reached the end of a scene, so now I need to like… process, look at what’s coming next. I might take a short walk and let it marinate in my brain a little.”

You smile. “How come you never work out here?” you ask him, just curious.

He gives a quick, self-deprecating laugh. “I wouldn’t get anything done. I’d just talk to you.”

You flush, feeling your face heat up, and bite back a smile. “What if I refused to answer?” you offer. “I could just sit here like -.” You mime zipping your lips, still fighting a smile. For good measure, you lock it up and throw the key over your shoulder.

His smile grows. “Wouldn’t help. I’d still be able to look at you.”

Your blush intensifies; you’re tempted to go stick your head in the freezer to cool your cheeks down. “I’ll turn around, then,” you tell him.

His grin turns wolfish. “I assure you, that will not solve the problem.”

Your jaw drops. “Kim Namjoon!” you scold, but you’re giggling.

“I’m just being honest!” he defends, laughing deeply, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Anyway, why? Does it bother you that I stay in there?”

“No,” you say immediately. “You can do what you want.”

He gives you a knowing look, like he’s used to your bullshit and isn’t falling for it. When did that happen? “Don’t get prickly,” he warns.

“Don’t compare me to plants,” you grumble.

“Do you want me to work out here instead?” he asks gently, smiling at you like you’re adorable, which just sets your prickliness off even more.

“I don’t know what I want,” you retort.

There’s a long, stretchy silence as you both consider just how true those words are, on several different levels.

Finally, Namjoon gives you a nod in goodbye and heads back to his room.

This time, he closes the door gently behind him.

–

Taehyung invites you out that night, to see a movie you’d been talking about. You tell him yes, as long as you can go to the earlier showing. But then you start to feel… guilty. Unsure.

You want to ask Namjoon if he cares if you hang out with Taehyung still. He’s bothered by some aspect of your friendship, obviously, but you don’t know what it is. Is it only the fact that Taehyung is a bit of a barrier for you two? Or is he threatened by the whole friendship?

You lay sideways across your bed in the fading late afternoon light, considering this. You imagine asking Namjoon. You think his answer would probably be, do what you want, I’m not your boyfriend.

Which, fair. That conversation needs to come first. Are you together, do either of you even really want that?

In the end, you don’t bring it up. When it’s time, you do your best to sneak out of the apartment, hoping to avoid any conversation about it at all.

Taehyung’s car idles on the street below, and you let yourself in the passenger side and buckle up. You’re anxious, you realize, as Taehyung starts complaining about an argument he had with Jimin back at their place. You’re afraid he’ll ask something that will lead the conversation to Namjoon, afraid that he’ll catch you tripping up, clue in that there’s something worth his attention there.

You can’t lie to him. He knows this as well as you do.

That’s why he never asks you questions he doesn’t really want the answers to.

You’re anxious for nothing, because Taehyung talks about his own shit for the whole drive to the movies, and the whole time you’re in line for snacks, and for the whole time before the movie starts as you sit in the back row of the theater munching on overpriced popcorn.

But the movie is good, and you get pulled into the fictional world, and when the lights come on you find Taehyung’s arm casually over the back of your seat. You hadn’t even noticed it was there.

“I can’t believe Jimin wouldn’t come see this,” Taehyung scoffs as you file out of the theater and back to the lobby. “That was so good! Just because he doesn’t like that one actor?”

You’re curious if Taehyung would have still asked you to join him tonight if Jimin hadn’t turned him down first.

But, like Taehyung, you don’t ask questions if you aren’t prepared to hear the truth. So you don’t ask. What would be the point?

You wonder during the drive home if you’d feel better talking to Taehyung about what was going on with you if the guy in question wasn’t his friend.

Maybe.

But only a little better.

Monday November 5th

Unlike the Monday before, Namjoon leaves for campus without you on Monday morning. You aren’t sure if he’s upset with you, or if he just needed to be there early. You’re too cowardly to ask.

You need some support.

If it’s not coming from your “best friend”, you’ll have to outsource.

You trudge through your morning class, eat as fast as you can - alone - in the cafeteria, and head to the student center. You get to the store well before your shift starts.

You aren’t allowed to clock in yet, so you kill some time doing reading for class in the stock room. The second your shift starts, you’re at the front registers, uncomfortably close to Kris’s personal bubble.

“Yes?” they ask you archly, eyeing your proximity suspiciously.

“I… have a confession to make,” you say, your voice as quiet as you can make it. You’re barely moving your mouth, you’re trying so hard to not actually say these words. “There… has been… perhaps… some kissing.”

Kris is stunned into silence for the first time since you’ve known them. Eyes wide and jaw slack, they stare at you. Then, they clarify loudly, “By you?”

You growl in exasperation. “Don’t be cute.”

Kris beams. “Can’t help it, it’s ingrained in my DNA.”

“I need you to be just a tiny bit serious,” you tell them, “because I am having a full-blown crisis.”

Kris sobers instantly. “Wait,” they whisper. “Crisis? Explain.”

“I kissed…” you cast your eyes around the bookstore, making sure no one’s lurking, “...the one I live with.”

Kris gasps. “You did not! You kissed him? Not the other way around?”

“I did,” you admit, feeling yourself flush again. “Twice. Well, the second time he started it, if you want to get technical.”

“I do want to get technical,” Kris whispers, voice almost reverent. “I can’t fucking believe this. So, why the crisis?”

You take a deep breath. Which factor to start with? Because you don’t want to give up on Taehyung yet? Because you don’t want to risk altering that friendship beyond repair? Because you don’t know if Namjoon will be able to handle your best friend being a guy - a guy that you’ve had feelings for?

“Because I don’t know what I want,” you say, the simplest truth. “I can’t get my head straight.”

Kris cocks their head. “If you didn’t know Taehyung - if you removed him completely from the situation -.”

“Impossible,” you protest.

They hold up a finger to silence you. “If you removed him from the situation,” they continue over you, “would you want to pursue things with Namjoon?”

Guilt hits you like an ocean wave, tugging you down, down, down. “Yes,” you whisper, because that part is just true. There’s no wiggle room, no if’s. You like him. You want to see where it will go. If there were no chance of losing Taehyung in the mix, it wouldn’t be a question at all.

“Y/N,” Kris says insistently, leaning towards you. “You are not doing anything wrong here. Taehyung is your friend. Nothing else - and that’s his fault. You aren’t, like, betraying him by catching feelings for someone else. He can’t expect you to sit around waiting for him until you die!”

“He doesn’t expect that,” you say, still in a whisper, because suddenly your throat is tight in that way it gets when you’re upset.

“You need to talk to Taehyung,” Kris tells you gently. You groan. “And the conversation should not be you asking for permission, either!” they continue, impassioned. “You need to tell him I’m seeing someone and you need to be okay with it.”

“But they’re friends,” you protest. “It’s so messy. I’ve never had messy before.”

“You’ve never had anything before,” Kris points out.

“That wasn’t nice,” you grumble. “Yes I have.”

“Nothing that mattered,” they correct. “Nothing with feelings.”

You slump onto the counter. “I hate this.”

“I’m telling you,” Kris says airily. “If you don’t talk to them, this is all going to blow up in your face. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”

“Why do you have to be right all the time,” you complain. Kris smiles beatifically.

When your shifts ends, your feet take you not towards home, but towards the academic building where Namjoon’s “office” is.

You’re thinking about your conversation about Kris; you’re thinking about the idea of fairness.

It isn’t fair, as Kris said, for Taehyung to expect you to wait indefinitely for something that was probably never coming, to hold you emotionally hostage.

It isn’t fair for you to do the same thing to Namjoon - to keep him waiting, wondering, unsure if you’ll ever be completely in it. You know that’s the reason things have kept progressing so slowly between you. You’ve felt guilty letting it get any further, felt afraid of those damn consequences. And if you had to bet, Namjoon has been trying to wait for you to sort it out, to make the choice - to choose him.

You can hear the low tones of his voice as you approach down the quiet hallway. Only the staff are normally back here, sometimes one or two students who need to speak to a professor, so there’s not a lot of foot traffic.

You linger in the hallway, leaning against the wall and messing around on your phone, far enough away to not be able to tell what Namjoon and the student are discussing. When the student - a young guy who looks absolutely dejected as he passes by you - exits, you slip past him and lean against the doorway. Namjoon doesn’t notice you right away. It’s clear that his hours have ended and he’s packing up his stuff. When he does notice a body in the doorway, he jumps, inhaling sharply in alarm.

He slumps against the back of the chair when he registers that it’s you.

“I’m usually the jumpy one,” you giggle.

He gives you a sideways smile as he leaves over his bag on the floor, messing with the clasp. “I didn’t expect to see anyone else. What are you - I mean, what’s up?”

“What am I doing here?” you tease, catching his slip. You feel a little nervous, but you’re determined to do this correctly, to treat him better. “I came to see if you wanted to walk back together.”

Namjoon goes a little still, and you hurry to add, “It’s okay if you don’t! It didn’t make my walk longer or anything to come here first. I just thought I’d check.”

He lets you babble. He does as he’s been doing since the beginning - he waits you out with a patient smile.

“So…” you finally finish, the nerves fluttering and hopping around your stomach. “Do you? Want to walk back with me?”

He stands, lifting his bag from the ground and hoisting it onto his shoulder. “Yes,” he says simply, giving you a tiny smile.

You follow him down the narrow hallway, back down the stairs you’d climbed a minute ago, and outside. It’s a nice day - bright and sunny, chilly but not freezing. Campus is busy, and you have to people-dodge a little as you cross the main section, the crossroads of the two main paths.

The second you cross through the front gate and step onto the city sidewalk on the other side, Namjoon silently reaches for your hand. It’s different from last time, in the rain - not urgent, not pulling. It’s gentle and tentative and, weirdly, somehow sensual the way his thumb runs over your knuckles as he glances sideways at you to see if you’re okay with this.

You give his fingers a tiny squeeze.

You walk together in silence for a few minutes, and then Namjoon asks you quietly. “How was your day? You had class this morning? Was it for Thesis?”

You smile up at him, happy to have someone to talk to about this. Kris would listen, you’re sure, because Kris is a good human, but they would much rather talk about romance. And Taehyung… it’s November, and Taehyung has asked you about your classes or your thesis exactly zero times.

“No, not for my thesis,” you tell him. “Just a regular lit class. It was okay! I was so tired, I could barely stay awake… I think I’m still recovering from the weekend.”

He laughs. “Can’t imagine why,” he teases, voice going a little deeper. “I’m sure you were a perfect angel all weekend long.”

The joke - that you’d dressed as a devil - is not lost on you, and you grin up at him. “Clever,” you say.

He beams back, proud. “Sometimes,” he allows.

“How about you?” you ask. “Did you have class before your TA hours?”

“Yep,” he says, nodding. “Unfortunately, it was a research-based class.”

You groan in sympathy. “First thing on a Monday morning? Fucking ouch.”

“Tell me about it,” he says with a shake of his head. “I’m not much of a napper, but damn, I could use a nap.”

At the apartment, you decide to watch a show you’re in the middle of, and you settle on the couch with a throw-blanket over your legs. Namjoon appears in the doorway of his bedroom, looking at you a little balefully.

“Can I… do you mind if I read out here?” he asks.

You scramble to sit up a little making room on the other side of the couch. “You don’t need to ask,” you say, a little appalled that he’d felt the need. “You live here! I never mind, I promise.”

Appeased, he makes his way over and gets comfortable on the other side of the couch. It occurs to you that this is how you and Taehyung usually spend your time - on opposite ends of the couch - but you shove the thought away.

You glance at him now and then as your show plays, and a few times you think you catch him watching more than reading. In between episodes, you notice his book face-down on his chest, rising and falling in deep, even motions. His head leans back against the arm of the couch, and his eyelids flutter as he dreams.

Smiling a tiny smile, you fluff your blanket to cover his legs, and press play for the next episode.

<- Prev || Next ->

Thank you so much for being here!!!!! What did we think of what I lovingly call "the Halloween Pub Crawl Fiasco"?!

Section VII will drop on Friday, February 24th! I hope to see you there!!

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galpalo · 2 months ago

Text

No I’m not late, just took a break because school is currently busying my schedule.

if I could fit every screenshot here I would. But the limit. J my girl,,

ALRIGHT, finale episode huh? Yeah I’m not okay either

Ah good ol’ teacher with no canonical name (maybe, the fandom creates a new name for him every season) dudes so done with life he doesn’t care if the world is ending, I wonder if they extended the episode he might’ve had a much bigger role? Like he knew nori and khan before. Would’ve loved to see more of Alice,,

UGHHHHFGHEHDHD DAUGHTER MOTHER MOMENT. FINALLY. THE MOMENT WHEN “solver control me again?” “If you a little bitch” AND ITS SEEN AS PARENTAL ADVISORY. THEM.

he got more assertive with his emotions guys. He told her he was still mad about her whole “self sacrifice” thing back at ep 7. It’s so small yet so much. Guys. Development.

Ah. At least the solver was nice enough to send a message. The inaudible frustration afterwards was funny though-

This. Uzi literally admits being nervous over it because she can’t read the signs well because of how lonesome and isolated she was from her peers (my analysis, I suggest seeing a video or blog that talks deeper into her personality) and N saying that “that was the plan, yeah—“ UGHHSHWUSHUWSHJA

I’m. Gonna screa.m they mean so much to me chat.

The fact N literally gave her a drawing that said “I O U 1 SPACESHIP” is so damn adorable and her IRRITATION with it!! love it. I’m going to talk about this moment so keep it in mind real quick.

Can we appreciate the fact they applied the whole “gravity” space logic into this?? Even when uzi tried to talk with her mom earlier? I love when shows/games do this, hello Lizzy and Thad hope y’all like your time in the near-apocalypse. sorry you guys had to experience it 😭

“I’m fine! And CALM. and GO AWAY.” doesn’t seem calm to me J, lizzy rolling her eyes while Thad is concerned over their fate at that scene. PLEASE. Lizzys beef with that sentinel is like your two friends fighting on a daily basis for petty funsies.

JAW DROPPED. THE MUSIC WAS LITERALLY SO COOL WHEN THE BEAT DROPPED. AND SHES FUCKING BACK???!

YEAH NOT THE TIME TO GO “um actually” J. BUT PLEASE. PLEASE. WE ALL THOUGHT J DIDNT KNOW IT WAS CYN. BUT GUYS. SHE WAS. AND V IS FURIOUS. PLEASE STICK WITH ME THROUGH THIS.

Back at the camp episode, when V said “we do our jobs” it was what J told them all along. “And it leaves us alone/and that thing leaves us alone!” so the solver tricked them into thinking that once their job is over they’ll be left alone, remember when Uzi in the pilot told N that when the disassembly drones job was over that the “humans” would throw discard them? Yeah. Also am I the only one who thinks when J told her to “grow up” it’s like “grow up from the hopes of returning home/to the mansion and the solver leaving us alone”??

AND YOU WERE AWARE OF IT SIS? WERE YOU TRYING TO PROTECT THEM IN YOUR OWJ WAY? but seriously, while we did hate J in the pilot, when you think about it (far fetched but stick with me here) she was being mean and hard on them so they get the job done. So the solver would leave them be. Guys.

so remember how she and Tessa were super close? Yeah? Yeah it probably hurt her yeah. I’m fine. Don’t worry. I.m fine. Vs look of confused concern is no problem. Yeah.

See what I mean. It tortured J off screen. TAUNTED HER even. She even LOOKS upset by it. She wants PEACE. And she’s coping by calling the solver BOSS, THE NAME SHE CALLED TESSA BAKC AT THE MA.NSION.

“I never needed either of you.” leave my girl ALONE.

SCREAMS???THE STRESS IN THIS SCENE?!

fun fact: in the Russian dub when the solver says “you won’t talk to me because I have hurt you feelings.” It instead says “after all, I’ve been alive…” guys. Theorist. Do your thing. Right now my mind is scattered brothers. The same thing happens in the Spanish dub when the solver says “hi N!” It says it in Tessa voice. Guys. It’s taunting them.

And Vs apology before the solver literally IMPALES N. I’m gonna cry. She wasn’t aware the solver literally KILLED Tessa “Tessa is cyn!”

Hello? This moment that I see no one talking about?? Appalling. Maid Vs corpse?? So this is a flashback to episode 5 “home”, to where I assume the massacre already happened and this is when the solver (who canonically was said to have taken cyn as a HOST. confirmed by “Tessa”.) and while this might sound bizarre, is in the process of modeling the drones to disassembly ones??? Guys?? The fear and confusion in the mans eyes? He saw his former crush dead body and his supposed friend tear them both apart?? I pray for a season 2.

#murder drones #Murder drones Uzi #murder drones N #murder drones V #murder drones J #Guys I’m not okay #They all mean so much to me i #The ending made my heart HURT finally khan and nori are together #The music for this episode was MMMMMMMM delectable #Yeah don’t worry I’ll just post this in the middle of gravityfalls comeback

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baileypie-writes · 6 months ago

Note

Hello, me again, the weirdo that keeps requesting Westar

Could I kindly ask for Westar revealing to Human World!reader who he really is and where he's from? 🥺

Have a good one, drink water!

A/N ~ Welcome back! Of course I can! Hope you enjoy!(you’re not weird btw, request all the Westar fics you want!)

~Secret’s Out~

Westar x GN!Human World!Reader

~~~🍩~~~🍩~~~🍩~~~

Fandom: Fresh Precure!

Fanfic Type: Oneshot

Reader: Gender neutral, from Earth

Relationship: Romantic

Genre: Hurt/Comfort?

Word Count: 1,296

Synopsis: Your boyfriend, “Hayato” isn’t good at keeping secrets. So it was only a matter of time before it slipped out that he wasn’t from Earth.

Warnings: Possibly OOC Westar?, lying(Westar), sort of abrupt ending

~Masterlists~

~Fresh Precure! Masterlist~

~~~🍩~~~🍩~~~🍩~~~

A chuckle erupted from your throat when you saw the sight in front of you. Your boyfriend, Hayato, was surrounded by a big group of women, all fawning over him. Many asked for his number, or to go out with them. Some people would get jealous at this, but you thought it was funny and cute how popular he was with the ladies. What was even more funny and cute was his completely unamused face. He hates attention from random, unknown people.

After a few moments, Hayato spotted you, and his face lit up. He wasted no time pushing through the crowd to get to you.

“(name)!” He called happily. You smiled, and waved back. Once he reached you, he gave you a big, bone-crushing hug. You literally heard your back pop.

“Hey sweetie.” You said in a strangled voice. You patted his back to let him know you were struggling to breathe, and he let go. You took notice of the ladies, and how they all walked away in disappointment. Some even gave you a judging look.

“Sorry about them. I just can’t seem to get them to leave me alone!” Hayato said.

“Can you blame them though? You are super attractive, after all!” You said, lightly elbowing him.

He blushed, and cleared his throat. “Well, yeah. But don’t they have any manners?”

You laugh again. “Yeah, guess you’re right.” You took his hand, and began walking away from the scene. “You didn’t tell me you’d be in town today. You hanging out with the girls? I don’t see Shun or Setsuna.” You asked. Hayato and his friends all lived out of town. But they would often visit to hang out with Setsuna’s friends. And of course, Hayato would come to visit you.

“Oh, yeah. They already left to see them. But I wanted to see you.” He smiled.

“Aw, you’re so sweet.” You said. Hayato laughed bashfully.

“Besides, things in Labyrinth can be so much sometimes. So it’s nice to come to a place with much less tech and more color.” He said without thinking.

“Labyrinth? Oh, you mean the city you’re from! Is it really that much different from here?” You asked.

Hayato froze, and slapped a hand over his mouth. You were confused at this reaction. It was almost as if he said something he shouldn’t have.

“It’s not! It’s totally normal!” He tried to fumble something together to steer the conversation away from his hometown.

You raised a brow. “Uh, that’s not what you said earlier? You know, you never talk about your home much, and always change the subject when it’s brought up. I’m curious to what it’s like. I tried Googling it, but I didn’t find anything related to it. What’s up with that?”

Hayato felt a bead of sweat roll down his face. He really screwed up this time. He was always bad at keeping secrets, especially from you. He’s slipped up so many times, from calling his friends by their real names, to talking too much about Labyrinth.

“Hayato? You okay?” You asked, concerned about his unresponsiveness. “Your hand is sweaty and hot. Are you feeling okay?”

That was it. He gave up. He was gonna tell you. “(name) I have to tell you something!” He spat out, a bit too loudly, making few people nearby glanced your way.

“Uh okay. What is it?” You were genuinely weirded out by his behavior.

“Let’s go to your place first!” Not one second after those words left his mouth, he began sprinting in the direction of your house.

He was dragging you behind, and since he was so fast, you were concerned about your arm being ripped off. “Hayato! Slow down.” Without saying anything, he slowed a bit, but continued running.

Eventually, you arrived at your house. Hayato tried opening your door, jiggling the handle aggressively when it didn’t budge.

“It’s locked, Hayato. Lemme get my key.” You said.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” He stepped aside. He looked so nervous, it made you begin to seriously worry.

The moment the door was unlocked and opened, he practically jumped inside. You followed, and locked the door behind you. Hayato was already sitting on the couch, fiddling with his thumbs by the time you made it into the living room.

“Hayato, what the heck is going on with you?” You asked, getting frustrated now.

“It’s Westar.” He mumbled out.

“What?”

“My name is Westar.” He said louder. The look he gave you was one of pure guilt.

“What are you talking about?” You were seriously concerned.

“Labyrinth is my home. B-But it’s not on Earth. It’s a different place. That’s where me, Sestuna and Shun are from.” He was sweating profusely, and tripping over his words. He was also being uncharacteristically serious.

“What do you mean ‘not on Earth’? How could you not be from Earth?” You were getting a bit scared, and started backing away.

“Please don’t run away (name)!” He said, jumping out of his seat and reaching out to you. “I wanted to tell you, but I’m not supposed to!”

“Tell me what? Nothing you’re saying is making any sense!” You raised your voice, making Westar flinch.

He sighed sorrowfully. “I’ll try to explain better.” He sat back down.

“There’s this place called Labyrinth. It’s kind of like Earth, and the people there look like humans. But there’s a lot more technology. That’s where I live. My real name is Westar, but I change my name and what I look like to fit in here. Shun and Setsuna are the same.” He explained it all to you. You just stood there, shocked. “But I’m still me! And I still love you! I wanted to tell you, but I’m not really supposed to! I’m probably gonna get in a lot of trouble for doing this.”

You both sat in silence for a few moments. “So that’s why you were always so secretive?” You finally asked. Westar nodded. “So you’re, like, an alien?”

“A what?” He asked, confused.

“A being from another planet.”

“Umm I don’t think it’s really another planet? It’s more like just another world.” He said. Explaining was never one of his strengths.

“Oh. So what do you really look like?” You asked, curiously getting the best of you.

Westar definitely didn’t expect you to ask that, but decided to show you anyway. “Oh! Lemme show you.” With a flash, his appearance changed. Not as drastically as you expected. He turned more pale, and his hair changed from blonde to a very pale turquoise. His clothes also changed. And they certainly didn’t look like any clothes you’ve ever seen. Your jaw dropped, completely taken aback from the otherworldly transformation.

“Sorry! I should’ve given you a warning… or something.” He apologized. “So… are you mad?”

You looked him up and down, taking in his new form. “I… don’t think so.” Westar sighed in relief. “I always suspected something was going on. You were never really good at hiding it. But I was never expecting… this.” You gestured to his whole body.

He smiled big, and ran over to you. He threw himself into you, giving you another bone-crushing hug.

You wheezed from the air being squeezed out of you, then laughed. “Yeah, I guess I’m not really mad. After all, you’re still basically the same old Hayato- I mean, Westar. Besides, I understand why you had to keep it a secret.”

Westar let go. “So you still love me?” He asked, with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could make.

“Yes, sweetie. I still love you.” You giggled, then kissed him. He happily kissed back, hugging you again.

After a few moments though, he abruptly pulled away, panic written all over his face. “Oh gosh, Soular’s gonna be pissed.”

~~~🍩~~~🍩~~~🍩~~~

~~baileypie-writes

#baileypie-writes #pretty cure #pretty cure x reader #precure #precure x reader #fresh precure #fresh precure x reader #westar #westar x reader #precure westar #precure westar x reader

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ff7-has-taken-me-over · 2 years ago

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COD things I think about just price being a dad towards his team makes me soft, also nik and price being married is so funny and also gives good angst prompts, and I always see this but graves trying to makes moves on soap and everyone stops him because they know he is a red flag (they are also jealous how graves make soap laugh so much he puts his hand on his chest) and prevents him for going further with soap.

I’ve been seeing so many Nik x Price fanarts on my twitter timeline and I’m living for it aye, that shit is just so good.

The one prompt I’ve got sticking out in my mind about Nik and Price is Nik coming back from his own little mission, tired as anything but excited to see his not-husband-husband (because ‘Nik, I’ll not say you’re my husband if you don’t give me a proper wedding day. I haven’t lived this long for nothing.’)

But he’s excited, smiling to himself as he thinks of the man, but the first thing he comes across is so wildly reminiscent of a husband coming home after work to his kids and partner in absolute chaos that he just freezes and stares for far too long.

There Soap and Gaz are, halfway up a flagpole and yelling down at Ghost who literally looks like he’s about to climb the damn thing, while Price stands to the side looking like a tired dad that can’t help but be endlessly amused and fond.

Nik walks over, still staring at the scene but taking a moment to pull Price into his side so he can kiss the side of his head before he’s asking what the fuck is going on.

Price snorts, waving a hand toward them uselessly as he speaks, “Oh y’know Soap. He was being a shit and dragged Garrick into it which ended up with Simon in the middle. They figured he’d have too much pride to climb a flagpole to get them but he’s seriously been considering it.”

Nic hums, smile cracking across his face when a startled scream and dread filled wail escape the two sergeants once Ghost actually starts climbing the damn thing.

“And you haven’t done anything because?” Price sighed again, head falling to the side so he could bury his face in Nik’s neck in an attempt to block out their madness.

“Was waiting for you to get back so you could give me some patience.” The pilot laughs a little louder this time, giving the man a longer lasting kiss for his troubles before sending him off.

“Do this now and I’ll make you some of that stew you enjoy so much.” Price is reluctant still, but he’s afraid of what will happen if he actually lets Ghost reach his sergeants while they’re still up that pole so he goes.

And if Nikolai’s promise of good food and his company makes him just a touch less harsher than he should’ve been then you won’t see any of the guys complaining about it.

~~~~

Oh my god! The 141 glaring Graves down or purposely steering Soap away from him at every available chance? Oof, thats fun.

That mf would get so salty he’d purposely start getting bolder with his flirting attempts and make shittier jokes, because if his time with Soap is gonna get cut down he’s gonna make sure it’s still worth it.

Price desperately wants to just kick the American out on his ass and call it a day but he knows Soap’s got a bit of a soft spot for him, plus he’d actually face very real and very serious repercussions from his superiors if he did that with no reason… viable reason that is.

Gaz shamelessly interrupts and drags Soap away whenever he catches so much as a glimpse of Graves near them. He can barely stand him on a good day, let alone one where he’s constantly going after his best friend.

Ghost doesn’t do much more than stare him tf down in that silent, semi-creepy way he has. Graves gets wildly unsettled by it because he knows (in his little lizard brain) that if he were to go toe to toe with him, not only would he lose but he’d also disappear off the face of the Earth. And that’s the last thing he wants right now.

Soap of course doesn’t have a damn clue, is honestly just happy to be with his team as often as he has been lately. He also enjoys hanging out with Graves, he likes having someone he can just have casual, light conversations with where its nothing more than good laughs and friendly interactions.

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weirdo09 · 6 months ago

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it’s kinda funny to me how people will say that there’s multiple ways of being black but there’s nonblack people literally portraying themselves as if they were a black person and you have people who love black culture but don’t wanna take the time to realize how harmful is it to not recognize that the way we talk isn’t ‘tiktok slang’ the way we dress isn’t ‘ratchet’ the way we do our hair isn’t ‘nappy or wrong’ like literally everything we do will not be credited as something that is ours

i know some people be like “well why can’t you just share your culture? it’s the right thing to do?” you don’t get happy to share your culture when it was the only thing you had that was ours after coming to whatever country you were enslaved in. i’m not big on it in and of itself because we’re never allowed to practice your culture freely with no repercussions, everybody and they momma gotta have a say in what black people do as a collective. suddenly, the way we talk ain’t good but when a non-black person starts talkin like us, it’s cute and gangster.(in the cool white way, not the getting into drugs and bad stuff kinda way)

me personally, i feel like my culture is for me and my people alone. especially when you see how disrespectful and uneducated people can be but be swearing that “well maybe if you-.” we ain’t there to teach y’all of something that you don’t even respect cause you sure as hell don’t respect black people likeeee it’s so telling honestly

i’m tired of black people hatin on each other because of what non-black view us as. the women shouldn’t have to wear wigs to see themselves as pretty or that ‘well natural hair takes too much work..” it’s your hair, it’s a part of you!!! the men shouldn’t have to go high and low just to find a replica of they momma, grow up and realize that they ain’t gotta be actin like someone’s disrespecting them solely because of just asking them a question.

especially, the child abuse, physical, emotional and sexual abuse, the hiding pedophiles and sex offenders in the comforts of our homes because they’re family. ain’t nobody’s family if you around touching on people inappropriately, you ain’t gonna be around nobody til you get yourself together, if you ever will. it’s just tiring because everything with being black, people love expect the getting killed by the police, having people be on high alert just because of what you look like, it being harder and harder to get respect because of what you look like honestly, i’m pretty sure y’all like the getting killed by police part cause after 2020, we was/still are being killed by them and y’all ain’t say a word.

it’s just the fact that no one will sympathize with you because “well, black woman and girls are always suppose to be strong.” everybody needs a break once and awhile but that doesn’t excuse the abusive black women either, whether or not they was treated right, it’s a reason but not a excuse. it’s the while having child predators in our personal spaces, it’s more and more likely that sexual violence will be present, the having ya momma be like “go put some clothes on, your *male family figure*’s coming over.” the not being able to be a kid because of that and the adultification of young children because of they skin color.

but ofc we can’t be bitter, can’t hate on our oppressors because “we know white people aren’t great but give us a break!” like ain’t nobody perfect but the least you could do is just go away or send me back to a africa that isn’t ruined by colonization and greed from the US, you take and take from the motherland just to say “GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY!” ugh, the hypocrisy

#cade’s things #cade’s thoughts 💭#misogynoir #antiblackness #antiblackracism #black issues #generational trauma #<- in a sense #child abuse #abuse #family trauma #childhood trauma #colonization #the us is ass #cultural appropriation #black culture

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fyodoro · 2 years ago

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hiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!

i literally love the way you write akito so. can i request akito x fem! reader who has like a younger sister whos 4-5ish? younger sis is all over him when he comes over like always tryna be on his lap and play with him and readers just like "shit now how am i gonna spend time with my bf" LMAOO I SEE TIKTOKS ON THIS AND IM JUST LIKE "aw🥹"

have a wonderhoyful day 💙

-> 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 & 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

Having a little sister can be fun, until your boyfriend starts spending more time with her than you..!?

With Akito Shinonome, fem!reader

One of the first things Akito learned about you is that you have a little sister, really little sister. He thought it was funny that even though you were the same age, he was the youngest sibling and you were the eldest. Different upbringings that didn’t interfere with meeting each other.

You didn’t talk about her a lot, but enough for your boyfriend to wanna meet her. And since his house had a tender atmosphere due to his father and sister, why not bring him over to yours so he can meet your sister?

When you told her the news, she was just as excited as Akito. She hears you always talking about him and to him over the phone, maybe excited was an understatement. She was ecstatic. It didn’t take long before she asked what Akito’s favorite color was so she could make him a colorful card & other crafts.

“(Name) (Name), do you think he’ll like this!?”

“Of course he will (Sister’s name). If you make it I’m sure he’ll love it.”

Somehow, you were more patient for Akito’s arrival than your sister was, and she hasn’t even met the guy! She was practically bouncing off the walls, with a huge grin on her face. Deep down, you were happy that she was so happy. Some siblings wouldn’t want to meet their sister/brother’s partner in fear of them taking them away. But she wasn’t like that at all.

Every little sound outside has her looking out the window, scanning across the scenery in search of a ��tall orange haired guy’ as you described to her. When she finally caught sight of him, she was already opening the door before he even got to it.

“I’m here- oh. Are you..?”

“It’s me! (Name’s) sister, (Sister’s name)! And you’re ‘Kito!”

“…’Kito..?”

Typically, only you would call him that. Anyone else who called him that even in a joking matter he told to stop. But Akito didn’t know if you referred to him as “‘Kito” to your sister or if she said it by herself. Either way, he thought it was adorable.

“Right, introductions. Akito, this is (Sister’s name), (Sister’s name), this is Akito, or ‘Kito, whatever you wanna call him!”

For some reason, Akito was okay with that. Maybe it was because it was your little sister, and he would feel terrible about telling her off. Before he knew it, she was pulling him into the living room and proudly showing the card she made. It was bright, very bright orange crayon scribbles and other colors like blue & pink. On it said “Welcome home Akito.”

Home? Although this wasn’t his real home, it felt like it. And it started feeling more like that the more time he spent with your sister. It’s been about an hour since he showed up, and he’s yet be alone with you.

Surprisingly, your boyfriend is really good with kids. He wasn’t harsh or mean with her at all, but genuinely nice. It felt strange seeing him like that, but it was relieving to see they were getting along so well. But…

“Okay (Sister’s name), I’m gonna go spend some time with (Name), do you go to sleep around this time?”

“I can stay up later, I wanna hang out with you and (Name)!”

You’re kidding… here you thought you’d get the quality time you desperately wanted with Akito. You love your sister, dearly. But man you wish she was asleep right now. It’s already past her bedtime, so usually it wouldn’t be a pain to get her to sleep. But since she’s so ecstatic, it might be harder.

“Actually, (Sister’s name), I think it’s too late for you to be up. ‘Kito will be here in the morning still, so you can see him then.”

“But-“

“No buts, we can’t have you losing sleep, off to bed!”

Solemnly and tiredly, she made her way to her room. You honestly felt bad, but it was already getting late, and you’ve yet too even spend alone time with Akito. You and him quietly headed to your room, where he threw himself on the bed.

It was silent for a moment, a comfortable silence. It was clear he was a bit drained from keeping up with a kid’s energy for so long, it was also clear you missed him a bit.

“I saw that face, you were jealous, weren’t you?”

“I wasn’t jealous, just felt a little left out, y’know?”

He chuckled and patted the spot on the mattress next to him, silently asking for you to lay with him. Of course, you obliged. This was time time you’ve been looking forward to all day.

He quickly wrapped his arms around you before kicking the blankets over you two. He always did this, using his legs and feet to get the blanket over you and him because he didn’t want to let go of you.

“So now I have two (Last name)’s to focus on, huh?”

“I guess so… but y’know this alone time if gonna be less frequent now right?”

“It’s okay, we still always have my place. Besides, I think I like hanging out with your sister more than you.”

You softly punched his arm as he laughed. You could tell he enjoyed meeting your sister. Before, you never saw him interact with kids, so you had no idea he was good with them until now. It was endearing in a way.

“Goodnight Akito… love you..”

“Goodnight (Name), I love you too. Sleep well..”

#project sekai #prsk #pjsk #pjsekai #project sekai x reader #pjsk x reader #pjsekai x reader #akito shinonome #akito #akito shinonome x reader #akito x reader #akito fluff #project sekai fluff #dor writes

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frodo-with-glasses · 2 years ago

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More Reading Thoughts: Many Partings

Oh, oh oh oh, the chapter title is a mirror to the Fellowship chapter “Many Meetings”, don’t touch me I am cri

Aragorn: “Hello! Don’t ask; I know you want to go back home.” Frodo: “I do. I want to see Bilbo even more. I was sad to see he didn’t come with the others.” Aragorn: “Well, he’s getting really old, dude.” Frodo: “EXACTLY WHY I NEED TO GO.”

In which Arwen gives Frodo her golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s choco—I mean Valinor

Oh and he also gets another necklace

Eeeeyyy resolution to Eomer and Gimli’s little spat!

Eomer and Gimli are the politest, most gentlemanly simps ever

I love how much effort the book puts into acknowledging how honored Theoden was. Eowyn’s fear was that her family would be disgraced and forgotten, with no more dignity than a peasant living in a dirty thatched hut, but all this pomp and circumstance proves that the line of Eorl is still honored and respected and loved.

GHAN-BURI-GHAN

THE CHAD AND HIS HOMIES RETURN

HELLO I LOVE YOU WE WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE GOODBYE

I got so emotional about the drums, bruh, that’s literally beautiful ;~;

MERRRYYYYY *sobs*

I LOVE YOU MY SON. AAAAHHHH TToTT

“HAIL, EOMER, KING OF THE MARK!”

They’re in good hands.

Trothplighted! Now THAT’S a word!!

Aww, Eowyn and Faramir got engaged in Rohan! That’s cute :-3

Well there go all my goofy headcanons about Eomer being a cranky, overprotective brother and giving Faramir the side-eye. Even he just likes him automatically. Bummer. And here I was hoping for some funny family drama!

Eowyn: “Whaddya think of that, former crush? :-3” Aragorn: “Couldn’t be prouder :-D”

Okay yeah so when I read the last chapter, I wrote this thing at 3 AM like “kinda not digging how the book barely mentions what angst Elrond would be feeling over never seeing his daughter again ever; even the movies take the time to explore that (even if they paint Elrond as the bad guy who gets in the way of love)”, but at least here Tolkien gives us a mention of it. That’s nice. Please don’t just ignore Elrond’s feelings, the man’s been through enough.

OOH! A gift?? A gift for Merry??? I’m very interested—!!

GASP IT’S THE HORN

THAT’S GONNA BE VERY IMPORTANT ISN’T IT

PRETTY SURE I’M REMEMBERING SOMETHING ABOUT THE SCOURING OF THE SHIRE AND THE HORN BEING VERY IMPORTANT

Aaaand they all hug! Awww!! TTuTT I’m gonna have so much fun drawing this LOL

“And they drank the stirrup-cup”. Thanks to this line and Google, I have now learned a thing about the traditions of the Scottish Highlanders.

Legolas, upon visiting a cave: “Welp, you beat me. I like caves now.”

TREEBEEEEEARD!!

QUICKBEEEEEEEAAAMM!!!

MY FAVORITE TREES I LOVE YOU GUYS

In which Treebeard cusses out orcs in Entish

In which Treebeard admits that he bored Saruman nearly to death!!

Oof, that’s not the smartest thing you’ve ever done, King Tree ol’ pal. But I forgive you. I won’t call mercy a weakness.

I love the mental image of Quickbeam bowing “like a tree bending in the wind”. They are not VERY bendable, but they can be a little bit!

There are no Entings :-C

Gimli, begrudgingly: “FINE I’ll visit the forest, I guess.”

Gimli calling them “my hobbits” noooo 😭😖😭😫🤧😭😭

STOP SAYING “I fear we shall never meet again”, IT’S MAKING ME SAD

Bye, Legolas; bye, Gimli! Love ya both, you hilarious nerds.

Merry and Pippin get one last drink with Treebeard! Yaaaay!! 8-D

Bye, King Tree, I love you!

Aragorn threatening to spy on Pippin and call him back in service to Minas Tirith is hilarious and very on-brand

Ooh, red sunset and a green flame…wow.

That’s so evocative and I can’t find the words to express why.

Bye, Aragorn. Love ya, long man.

Well, well, well! Bo and lehold, look what the cat drug in! It’s Saruman!

Me when Saruman chews out Gandalf: LOL

Me when Saruman breathes wrongly in Galadriel’s direction: oh he’s dead 8-.

Y’know, it’s funny. Grima’s fear of leaving Saruman is a lot like the fear people often have of leaving abusive relationships. However, Grima has everything he’d need to actually make a departure, things that other people stuck in abusive relationships might not—a support system, financial freedom, another place to stay, and people who would help and protect him—and yet he chooses none of it, and goes back to his oppressor. Fascinating.

OOP. OKAY SARUMAN TALKING TO THE HOBBITS NOW, EVERYBODY SHUT UP.

Saruman: “You cruel little urchins. Come to mock an old beggar, have you? I’ll bet you wouldn’t even give me a bit of pipe weed.” Frodo: “I would if I had any.”

That is the KINDEST 1000 IQ gigachad own I have EVER seen. Frodo like, “I have gone through untold hell, but you can’t make me cruel to you, no matter how much you try.” LIFE GOAL: BE LIKE FRODO

And Merry like, “Here, I’ve got some pipeweed, you can have it back.” My favorite hobbits, everyone. The chads. The absolute legends.

*mutters to self* “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; and in doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head…”

Merry’s sarcastic “thank you!” to the curse on the Southfarthing tho X’-D

Merry: “Can I have my bag back?” Saruman, a petty wet sock: “NO”

I wonder if the Shire has a thing where you can like. Sue for damages to person or property. ‘Cause that seems to be what Pippin is implying here by “what about our claim for kidnapping us”. In which case, Pippin half-joking about suing a wizard is VERY HECKING FUNNY

Also would like to point out that Sam didn’t say a word until Saruman was gone. I can only imagine he was just sitting in the background glaring at him the whole time.

Aaaand they let him go. Hahaha. Doom.

In which Gandalf, Galadriel, Celeborn, and Elrond speak in telepathy, wooo~

In which Sam still wants to see Elves, even after he’s been riding with Elves this whole time

BILBOOOOOOOOOO

BILBO MY LOVE I’VE MISSED YOU

Just the fact that the hobbits run to find him without taking off their coats or eating or washing up. That’s like charging into a house to see somebody, with your coat and shoes still on, leaving dirt on the carpet but neither of you care. It’s so emotional and full of love and I just aaaaahhhh— 🥹😭🥹🤧😭

Bilbo will never not be competitive, LOL! “I wanna be older than the Old Took!”

“How splendid! How wonderful! But where were we?” Bilbo I love you

“Yeah I was invited to Aragorn’s wedding and all that, but I was busy and I didn’t want to pack.” BILBO I LOVE YOU

“Didn’t go to the wedding because I couldn’t be arsed” is such a HUGE MOOD

Ohh, the melancholy of watching the weather changing and knowing you’ll soon have to leave

Also Frodo and Sam same brain

“Except the Sea.” Stopppp I’m gonna cry—

“To their delight, Gandalf said: ‘I think I shall come too. At least as far as Bree. I want to see Butterbur.’” AND ROAST HIS TOES

Aww Bilbo getting old and forgetful. It hurts, but it’s so sweet ;u;

“May come in useful, if you think of getting married, Sam.” 8-D 8-D 8-D hahaha yesss, tease the boy

Bilbo: “I don’t have gifts for you.” Pippin: “Okay, but consider: what if we sass you?” Bilbo: “Haha, you make me so proud! I lied. Have some pipes.”

Bilbo: “B-T-dubs, where’s my ring?” Frodo: “Er, I kind of threw it into a volcano, Bilbo.” Bilbo: “Oh, yes, that’s right! That’s what the whole thing was about, isn’t it? Silly me.”

Bilbo being just as interested in oliphaunts as Sam ;u;

REPRISE OF “THE ROAD GOES EVER ON!” SHUT UP I CRI

Just the way they let him nap for a while before talking again. It’s such natural comedy, and also very sweet and warm and full of love and just aaaaahhhh

Also Frodo agreeing to finish Bilbo’s work. There’s something so emotional about that. Makes me think of Christopher and all the work he did to preserve his father’s notes…I wonder if he ever made the connection himself. I wonder if he saw himself as his dad’s Frodo.

And we end with some foooooreshadowing….

Friendly reminder to everyone who complains that the RotK movie has like five different endings and that’s too many: The book is worse. The book is so, SO much worse. 🤣

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crabonfire · 1 year ago

Note

I’m usually on the tf2 spectrum of things… BUT HOLY SHIT MAN ITS THE SPECTACULAR SPODERMAN OH MY GAWD-

ehm. So i would like to request something! How about some Flash Thompson x shy around a lot of people reader? But reader is more happy/expressive with less people around??? and then they slowly realizing they are both falling in love hc’s? I’m sorry cuz like, Flash is so 💗💗💗

Tssm! Flash and a shy reader!

dawg I fucking love flash sm 😭 I love dumb jocks with big hearts (he's a little bit of a bitch but he's not thay bad guys)

character: Tssm Flash Thompson

note: ALSO I'm not a shy person myself??? I'm far from it actually lmfao but I'll try my best to write it

warnings: none :)!

♡Flash Thompson♡

• So he never noticed you, even after all your years of being in the same class with him but you never really stuck out. It wasn't until Hobie Brown introduced you to him, and he kind of found you cute.

But unfortunately at first he found you a bit boring. You didn't talk much, what was there to you anyway?

During social conversations in the group, you'd always just laugh or nod along, anytime you reply it'd be short or subtle. It wasn't until the both of you went home late after school that he decided to talk to you, walk with you home since you both lived on the same block.

• "Hey, uh, what's your name again?"

"Oh uh...Y/N."

"Right. Don't blame me for not remembering. you're like a wall when it comes to conversation."

He chuckled, then quieted down when he saw you didn't laugh along.

"Since I'm so nice, I'll walk you home. Your down this block too right?"

"Yeah."

"Knew it, I see you here a lot you know. Whyd you never talk to me?"

"...Well, uh..."

There's an awkward pause.

"...I don't know actually. Its hard to explain."

"Oh. Well, okay weirdo."

You turn to him again as you walk, with furrowed eyebrows, a little offended.

"What? I don't mean it in a bad way."

"Really? How is weirdo not a bad thing."

"Geez I don't know," He laughs, "I expected you to have some long answer, you paused for a long time I thought it was some deep geek stuff or something."

You smiled at that, finally a smile.

"...Your fault for assuming."

• The rest of the walk was surprisingly really nice, he spoke to you more over...Well, anything really! It was fun to talk to you, to his surprise. You had so much to say, it was such a different experience from when you'd just nod along to what the group said.

• "No way." Flash said, an amused grin on his face as you told him a story in such a dramatic way. Hands being used to convey more emphasis, making the mood feel like you guys have been friends forever.

You continued with a laugh, "Yeah! It was so funny, he literally walked around with a huge hole in his pants and the most serious expression on his face- like this!" You shifted your expression to something so incredibly stupid. He burst into laughter, echoing through the neighbourhood.

• From then you two really hit it off. Walking home alone became a regular thing, and he'd even ask you to more personal group things, something the others in the group would've never expected from an asshole like Flash.

• It wasn't until he became more touchy with you, having an arm wrapped around your shoulder to be more protective or looking at you and listening to intensely, is when they all realized he had the fattest crush on you.

And, they could also tell you felt the same way.

Because whenever you two were together, they'd see the way you'd laugh so loudly, grinning with the sweetest and most excited smile. Oh boy, you two were head over heels for each other.

"I guess you could say that was...un-EGGspected."

Flash snorted, shaking his head with a small smile. "That might be your worst joke yet, Y/N."

• When Sally saw that conversation she KNEW yall liked each other like it was so obvious Flash usually replies to bad jokes with Sarcastic remarks but he actually SNORTED at that.

• Randy approached him one day,

"So, when are you gonna ask them out?"

He grinned in confusion, "What? Them who?"

Randy smiled, "Y/N. You've hung around them a lot."

His cheeks went a little red, raising his shoulders defensively and laughing nervously.

"What? No way-I don't like them like that. They're a geek! I pity them."

Randy gave him a look, crossing his arms. It was quiet, Flash was putting the pieces together in his head. He can admit, you two have been spending a lot of time together, and yeah, he does love it whenever you laugh or smile at him with that cute grin, maybe he likes the way he can make you blush so easily when you guys are in big groups, and yeah maybe, he wants to kiss you.

Oh.

OH!

His eyes widened in realisation, making Randy crack a smile. He simply pat him on the shoulder, "Goodluck man. Hope they say yes." Then he walks away, leaving him standing there stiffly and unresponsive.

• I think you realized you liked him back when he would actually listen to you, and when he would tell you such sweet things without even realizing it. There would be moments where his voice was softer somehow, quieter, and he was so serious in these moments.

When you were upset over something he'd listen, a hand rubbing your back as you'd cry. He never knew how to deal with people that cried, so it always started out so awkward with him. But he'd listen, give you a hug, and actually help.

That's something he usually never did. Listen. He never listened to people, but it was you. Of course he'd listen.

• The fact he was an ass to most but really cared about you I guess...that's one of the things that made you fall for him.

But do you have enough confidence to tell him? And does he know you like him back?

♡♡♡

haha cliff hanger 🤣🤣🤣🤣‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💯💯💯

if you wanna see the confession scene yall have to wait I got like 7 requests to get through 💀

#tssm #tssm x reader #the spectacular spider man #tssm flash thompson #flash thompson #himbo #jock #i love dumb jocks #live laugh love dumb jocks #x reader #reblogs very appreciated :)

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crashdevlin · 1 year ago

Text

Losses and Gains 1- She Deserves Better

Author’s Note: This is the first chapter of Losses and Gains, the second part of To Have it All. This is Something More...from Jensen's side!

Summary: Jensen doesn't take it well when Y/n catches the eye of a certain British gentleman.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader, background Reader x Tom Hiddleston

Word count: 4149

Story Warnings: open marriage, mentions of depression and heartbreak, the beginnings of bad things

~~~~

I knew. When I watched Y/n ride away in that Uber, I knew that Danneel had broken something. Months of getting closer, being in love with each other, building some secret something with her...all torn down with one catty, jealous comment from my wife.

I was hoping she'd come back around but I knew that I had one shot to see her and bring her back to me. I was hoping that showing her that I was still in love even when she was clear across the continent would work. I called her every night after we wrapped. The calls were short, fifteen minutes, usually, but I managed to make her laugh at least once a day. It was a good thing. Made me feel like there was still a connection between us.

I spent my days sad and my nights dreaming of her. I missed her so much and I knew, I knew it in my heart, that she was pulling back and that I was at risk of losing her. Losing her...well, that was going to be the worst thing I could think of.

When she went to Atlanta, I was excited. She'd be alone. She'd be able to remember how being with me felt. At least that was the way I thought it'd go. I mean, especially when she actually called me at noon on the first day of her shooting with Marvel. "Hey. How's your first day on a major motion picture going?"

“Uh, it’s good. My hair is super red. My voice is already tired," she said as I sat in my recliner in my trailer. "You remember when Rich was directing and he made us do the French Toast scene thirteen freakin’ times? Nothing compared to these Marvel guys.”

I chuckled as I remembered the day a few months ago. “You havin’ fun, though? Meet any of the biggies, yet?”

“Yeah, actually. Most of my scenes are with Tom.”

“Which one?” There were several Toms in the MCU so that was funny to me.

She laughed and I smiled. She hadn't really laughed since she went home...not with me, anyway. “Hiddleston. Sinthea has most of her scenes with Loki. I have a small interaction with Stephen Strange and two tiny scenes with Thor, but that’s it. So, I’m sadly not gonna have any screen time with Robert Downey Jr. or Sebastian Stan." She sounded so excited. "Oh, they did tell me something cool and super-secret-keep-your-mouth-shut. I get the mid-credits scene.”

I was filled with pride for her. That was a big fucking deal. “No shit?”

“No shit. Well, me and Tom, but… it’s Sinthea’s reveal, which I can’t go into because it's super-secret-keep-your-mouth-shut.”

“So, you're already callin' him by his first name, huh? I knew they’d take to you as fast as we did.”

There was a long moment of silence before she gave a little sigh. "Yeah, um, about that…Tom asked me for drinks after we wrap tonight.”

Drinks. I knew what that meant. He was making his move on her. Already, he was making his move. He hadn't even known her six hours! And she was going for it? “You said 'yes’?” I asked.

“Of course, I did," she practically squeaked.

I got irrationally pissed off. I was losing her. I was losing her to Tom fucking Hiddleston on the day they met each other and there was nothing I could do about it. But I wasn't pissed off at her…no, all that anger was directed at Dee and Hiddleston. “No, you’re right. I've got no claim to you, no right to stop you from your life. Hell, I’ve got a wife. Look, I gotta go. Bob’s calling. Talk to you later.” I was shaking as I hung up the phone. I literally hung up on her.

I jumped up and started pacing back and forth in the living room area, trying to deal with the anger. I threw my phone at the plush back of the recliner and rubbed my hand across my face as it bounced and hit the floor. What was I going to do? Was there anything I could do? I was stuck. I could only sit back and hope the man wasn't as charming as he seemed. There had to be something wrong with him, right?

"Wishful thinking, first of all. He's a complete fuckin' gentleman, by all accounts," Jared said when I told him what soured my mood. "Besides...this could be a good thing for her! She deserves a nice guy!"

"I'm a nice guy!" I argued. "She already has a-"

"Jensen, she doesn't have a nice guy in her life that can be a public part of her life and she deserves someone who won't treat her like a dirty little secret."

I clenched my jaw and my fists. "I have never treated her like a dirty-"

"The first rule of your relationship is that I'm the only person other than your wife who can know about Y/n. That is, exactly, treating her like a dirty fucking secret." Jared shrugged. "Come on, Ackles. Don't act like you don’t know how this played out for her. I told you how it was affecting her and how much worse it could get. You're lucky, and she's lucky, that she found someone else before either of you got in too fucking deep."

I scoffed. "She's not his yet. I can still pull this out. I can still fix-"

"Jensen!" His tone snapped me out of my monologue and I looked up to catch his eyes. "Stop. Just fucking stop. She's not his yet, but she's not yours either. She put up a wall and you need to respect that shit. Call your wife and work on fixing that instead."

"Are you kidding me right now? Dee is the reason that Y/n was emotionally available for this asshole to swoop in and turn on the charm! Why would I want to fix anything with-"

"Because she's your wife and you love her and she needs to be more important than your ex-mistress, okay?" Jared patted my shoulder and walked away as I processed his words.

He was right. Jared usually is when it comes to other people's lives. But I didn’t want him to be right. I just wanted to have both of the women I loved. Is that so fucking wrong?

So I switched my flight to Atlanta. I was planning to fly out Friday night to get there for her birthday Saturday, but I needed to get there as soon as possible to mitigate the damage.

Tom Hiddleston. Why did it have to be Tom Hiddleston? Why did she have to be interested in him? All that Loki energy rolling off of him.

I spent the rest of the day pissed off. Luckily, it worked with the episode since Dean was having to deal with Jack and spent half the episode irritated. We wrapped at about 1 in the morning. I was exhausted, cold, and still pissed as I trudged toward my trailer. I was planning to call her and leave a message before I went back to the condo...but my phone rang before I could get there.

"Hey." From the heavy way she said the greeting, I could tell she was drunk. It was 4 am in Atlanta and she was drunk dialing me. "Jensen, I’m drunk.”

“I can hear that," I said as I opened the trailer and stepped up into it.

“I’m drunk and I’m alone.” Alone now or alone completely? “I didn’t go back to Tom’s hotel with him, which...he's in the Ritz, by the way...because I was left with the distinct impression that you are mad at me and I don’t want you mad at me, Jay.”

Of course she thought I was mad at her and not him. She's got the self-esteem of an abused puppy. I couldn’t let her keep thinking my issue was with her so I scratched my head and sighed. "I ain’t mad at you. I know I…” Words. What words are the right words? Why do I struggle to say the right shit to her so often? “I’m married. We aren’t dating. I knew we were temporary when we started it." Which was painful but true. "I just didn’t expect you to leave me as soon as you…left Vancouver.”

“I’m…sure it’s temporary with him, too. It fuckin’ always is. Look, I’m not going anywhere, Jay. I…I’m part of the Family now, right? Even if Tara gets killed off, I’m part of the Supernatural Family. Even if we aren’t together, I’m gonna be around. Right? You aren’t gonna cut me off just because-”

“No! God, no!" The very idea of it...never...I could never. "Come on. Don’t…look, I’m not mad at you. I just really wish I could give you what you deserve.”

“I deserve a chance with Tom. Since I can’t have you…I deserve Tom. But I deserve to be your friend, too. Please, don’t take that away from me.”

I didn't think I could watch her be with him. I couldn’t stand idle as she started a relationship with him. I knew it was going to hurt too much, but still I said, “I won’t. I’m here for you. Promise.”

“Good. I have to get some sleep so…Jay. Don’t hang up on me again. It hurt.”

I shook my head at myself. I never wanted to hurt her. “I know. I’m sorry. Hey, but I’ll see you at the Atlanta Con, right? You don’t have any shooting for this weekend, do you?”

“Yeah. Definitely. The director cleared me for that weekend before I even got here.”

“Okay, great. I’ll see you then, Baby Girl.”

“Good night, Jay.”

I bit my lip as I disconnected the call. At least that hadn't changed. She still called me 'Jay' and it still made my heart thud out an extra beat.

~~~~

Clif didn't like the idea of me going to the convention alone. I was supposed to be with Jared. I was supposed to stay guarded. But I promised him that I was just going to sneak into the green room and surprise Y/n and then I was gonna grab a drink with her back at the hotel. He insisted on coming along anyway.

I made it to the con hotel about a half hour after karaoke started and I found the green room by memory from the last time we did a con in Atlanta and from there, I had a smitten volunteer take me to the backstage area. I could hear Y/n's voice as we approached. She was singing a duet, some Meghan Trainor thing I had heard her sing in the kitchen while making dinner. But instead of her singing the male and female like she did when she was frying chicken, there was another voice coming through the speakers.

I was, for the first time, irrationally pissed off at her. She brought him to our space. Conventions were ours. Conventions were for the Family and she brought this guy she barely fucking knew into our place.

I went back to the green room and started pacing. "Can you believe that shit? She brought him to a convention! She should know better! He's not one of us! Why would she bring- isn't it bad enough that he's stolen her away?" Clif just shook his head at me and went out into the hallway. He was not shy about the fact that he was on the 'let it go' train Jared was driving. I kept pacing for a few moments before sitting down on one of the couches, seething at her and at him. Tom, who walked in as I was debating leaving the con and pretending that I’d never been there. He stopped at the door and I glared at him. I couldn’t help it.

Y/n followed him into the green room about a minute later, practically bouncing with happiness. “Hey! You were amazing! Your voice is like velvet!” she exclaimed.

He gave her an uncomfortable smile and nodded toward me before he said something I couldn’t hear. She looked over at me and gasped before rushing at me. “What are you doing here on a Friday?!”

I stood up and pulled her into a hug. It felt good to have her in my arms again but I was still pissed off so I just licked my lips and stepped back. “Well, your birthday’s tomorrow. I didn’t wanna miss out on your big two-nine. Though, I kinda feel like I may be a third wheel now that I see him. I cannot believe you invited him to a con.”

She literally rolled her eyes at me and grabbed my hand, pulling me across the room toward him. “Tom, this is Jensen. Jensen, this is Tom.”

He extended his hand for me to shake it and for a moment I almost let him hang, but the look in Y/n’s eyes told me I couldn’t really do that. If I did, I’d be spurning her. So I took his hand and tried to crush it in my own. To his credit, he didn’t show any pain. He just smiled politely and nodded. “It’s a pleasure,” he said and I forced myself to nod at him.

“Right,” I agreed, as I stepped back from him and turned my focus on Y/n. “So...how about a drink, Y/n/n? I mean, if your friend doesn’t mind.”

“I agree, a drink is a wonderful idea. Should we wait until the karaoke fun is over or-” It made me cringe that he answered for her.

“Oh, we definitely have to wait for the finale!” Y/n exclaimed. “Everyone’s gonna sing ‘Carry On My Wayward Son’! If Jensen goes out to sing with us for the finale, the audience will freak the fuck out! He’s literally never here for karaoke!”

I didn’t really feel up to it. I didn’t want anyone to know that I was there except her. “Yeah, I, uh, don’t know if that’s such a good idea, roomie. I just came early for a birthday drink with you...and after you bringing your new friend, I’m sure they’ve probably had enough excitement for one night.”

She immediately slipped into her puppy dog face. “Oh, come on, Jay! The fans will love it!”

I ran my hand down my face and shook my head. “Fuck. You sure do know how to use those eyes on me, don’t you? I...guess I can do some Kansas. But after ‘Carry On’ you and I are grabbing a drink...just the two of us,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t put up any protest. If she protested, I’d just go have a drink by myself...and I thought I was going to have to do that because she looked over her shoulder at Tom, like she was asking permission.

“It’s fine. I’m sure you two have quite a lot to talk about with your...roommate. Meet me back at my hotel afterward?”

His hotel? She was staying at his hotel?

She nodded. “I’ll text you when I’m done. Just to make sure you’re still awake.”

“I’ll put on the strong tea.” He winked at her, then kissed her cheek and left.

I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. I wasn’t sure what to say. I was so full of anger and pain. “So, you’re staying with him now?”

She shook her head. “No. I’m still at the Holiday Inn Express. I did stay at the...Ritz last night. And it looks like I might be staying there again tonight.” I was so hurt and pissed off about the very idea that she already fucked him that my stomach seemed to burn inside.

“Wow, that was fast. I mean, took me months of flirting with you before we made it to the bedroom,” I snapped. I didn’t want to make her feel bad but I was pissed. I could see the offense on her face and I felt bad about it but I was too pissed off to care much.

“Jensen, I had no fucking self esteem when I met you. I-I couldn’t even imagine that someone like you was flirting with me. But...you did and...because you showed me that I was worth the attention of a...of a god among men, I was able to see it for what it really was when Tom asked me for drinks.”

I scoffed. “Oh, so you’re saying that it’s my fault that you’re fuckin’ that guy? That...stupid...British...ginger…” I couldn’t articulate my anger. I couldn’t articulate my feelings.

She looked away but nodded. “In a bit of a roundabout way...yeah. I’m sorry, Jay. It’s just...we can’t ever be more than what we were. You’re married and you love her.”

“Yeah, of course I do, but you and I both know that my love for you didn’t start or stop at the bedroom door,” I reminded her and she looked away from me.

“But the way you love her...your love for her and your kids...it’s all-encompassing. You...can’t…” She sighed and looked away from me. “Jensen, I will always love you. Always, but...I deserve to be someone’s one and only. I would never be more than a--a distraction for your long days away from home. I deserve more than that.”

“I…” I shook my head and looked away from her. “I know. It doesn’t mean I gotta like it, though. I thought we were happy with our prior arrangement.”

“We were...until...I wasn’t.”

“Because you met him,” I accused her.

“Because I realized I wanted more,” she responded.

I was on the verge of tears, my heart breaking at the idea of her wanting more than what I could give her. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to stick around for the finale. Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m just...not into it,” I said, starting to walk away.

Her hand wrapped around my wrist and I looked back at her. “Jay, please don’t shut down.”

I couldn’t hold back my anger anymore. “What do you want from me?” I snatched my hand away from her. “If you had told me ‘no’ in January, then it could’ve been okay.” No, it wouldn’t have. It would have hurt if she told me no, but it wouldn’t have hurt like this did. “We could’ve stayed friends but after everything we’ve been through...Y/n, you’re leaving me for Loki. It’s that simple.”

“We weren’t dating, Jensen!” she whispered, furiously. “I was your sex toy. I was something for you to play with when you were away from your wife!”

“I love you and you know that!” I growled and I was a little bit louder than I should have been.

“But you can’t be with me,” she whispered...and her voice was full of so much pain...and that hurt me.

Fuck, I just wanted everything to be okay. “What if I could?” I asked, before clarifying. “What if...we were really together?”

She looked around, obviously making sure that no one was around to hear what I’d said. Obviously, I wouldn’t have said that in front of anyone. She shook her head. “You’d never leave her and I would never want you to. It’s the last thing I want to be a homewrecker and she is your home. Her and JJ and A-to-Z.” I love the way she called the twins ‘A-to-Z’ but I couldn’t appreciate it right then. “I would never want to break that up. But I deserve to be with someone I can tell my family about. I deserve to be with someone for more than just the few weekends we do conventions and the couple weeks I shoot on the show. I’m not gonna be on Supernatural forever, Jay, and what then? I deserve-”

I couldn’t hear her say anymore. “I know that! I just wish I could be what you deserve.”

She looked irritated. “If I’d met you before 10 Inch Hero...but I never would have...before…” She shook her head. “Jensen, it’s just not in the cards for us. You should find someone else because...I’m moving on.”

“I don’t want another girlfriend. I want you.”

She looked away from me and sighed. “Fuck, Jay. I’m ready for a grown-up relationship. I am ready from more than just sex.”

That. That hit me harder than anything else. “Is that what you think this was? You can’t really think that’s all you and I had.”

“We couldn’t ever be anything else!” she hissed at me and I could see that she was as hurt by the whole argument as I was but my anger and hurt wouldn’t let me empathize. “We were never going to date or-or have a relationship that I could ever tell my friends or family about. I was always going to be a secret. What we did, for the past eight months, was hide in dark corners and behind bedroom doors and I knew for the last couple months that I wasn’t ever going to get more than that. I thought it was what I wanted. I thought that was less drama and it would be a good idea because the last time I tried to have something real was when I lost everything. I lost myself in Nate but I’m better now. I’m a fuckin’ adult, Jay, and I deserve-”

“I know!” I couldn’t help but lose my temper because she was right. She was right and I didn’t want to hear it. I just wanted her. Why did that have to be so fucking hard? “I get it! I’m not giving you what you deserve! But I’m not gonna stand here and pretend to like this shit because I don’t!”

“Keep your damn voice down!” she demanded, looking around nervously. I didn’t even care if someone heard at that moment. My world was crashing down. Her eyes were sad but she was breaking up with me and there was too much happening in my heart for me to care about what some fan or one of our friends was gonna say. “Fuck, Jensen...I can’t do this. If you want to push me away...if you wanna end our friendship over this…” She got a little fire behind her eyes as she stepped up closer and looked up at me. “If you wanna act like I’m fucking wronging you by stepping away from my status as your sanctioned fuck-toy, especially when I know that your wife was not as on-board as you both made it seem...Fine,” she bit out before stomping away.

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause I’m the fuckin’ bad guy here, right?! Happy birthday, Y/n!” I shouted as she disappeared into the hallway. I punched the nearest chair but it didn’t make me feel better, so I moved to the closest wall. I was about to do some damage when Clif walked in.

“The hell do you think you’re doing? Padalecki’s the one who’s supposed to get his ass hurt.”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Clif.” He scoffed as he followed me out the back door of the green room, heading toward the parking lot.

“You’re being a dumbass,” he said as soon as we got in the SUV.

“Said I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Yeah, but you need to. Am I your friend?”

I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. I didn’t want to hear how I’d fucked everything up. But I didn’t have anywhere to go once he started driving to the hotel.

“Course you are.”

“And you know I’ve been watching. I’ve been around. I see things a lot of folks don’t, right?”

“Yeah.”

“She was on her way out before Danneel even met her.” I glared at him in the rearview mirror. Yeah, I just heard her say the same shit, but I didn’t want to believe it. “I could see it in her eyes after you started with the lovey-dovey bullshit. As much as she wanted you, she knew that you couldn’t give her what she needed...and you can’t.”

I shook my head. “Clif...you don’t understand.”

“I do. I watch, remember? You’re so in love. I know. But now you have to give her an opportunity to have something else.” I looked out the window as he pulled into the parking garage at the hotel and parked. “I’m not going to tell you to focus on your family or any of the crap Jared’s been telling you. I’m going to ask you: does Y/n deserve someone who can shout his feelings from the rooftops, or should she stay someone’s secret for the rest of her life?”

I didn’t have to answer. We all knew exactly what Y/n deserved.

#cassie writes stuff #spn rpf #jensen x reader #angst #tom hiddleston x reader

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burningtacozombie · 1 year ago

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random Mayans thoughts, episode 5x08 edition:

- Miguel, for a second I thought he visited Felipe to kill him after all. the way he walked through the house and looked at all the photos, it could have been an entirely different life for him. or maybe not that different? anyone else tried to imagine Miguel as a Mayan for a second? also, I get why Miguel would want Felipe to see the man who raised him the way he does but Felipe can't do that. Miguel in return can't accept the Reyes as blood and now he seems to be stuck between the father he forgave and the one he can't forgive but can't seem to let go either. something's got to give, he needs to find a solution for himself on how to move past his anger because none of them can change the past. then again, why isn't he as mad at his mother as he is at Felipe? it takes two to tango, doesn't it? and she kept the lie alive even after José's death. lies never protect anyone.

- Guero, finally we got some background on him and Ibarra. and it's as tragic as anyone's in this life. I do feel for him though, a lot. nice touch on wearing the Sons kuttes while getting rid of Diaz and Jinx' bodies to frame the Sons for the kills. once again, that banter Guero has going on with Downer is fucking funny even in a situation like that.

- Angel and Mav watching cartoons together was sweet in the moment but they still have no idea about Luisa, that lifechanging cloud over them is fucking sad. but he feels something is very wrong, he couldn't even stand being alone in his house and came home to pops.

- Letty went to the Broken Saints as a spy for Isaac but she had no choice, for Hope. Letty can be annoying as hell but she is nothing if not a fighter. congrats to Terry for using his brain for once and doing the right thing, letting them escape. probably won't end pretty for him but whatever. if Isaac were to drop dead right now it still wouldn't be soon enough.

-HOPE!!! man, I'm fucking shocked. there was this moment of realization of what she's going to do before she even did it and I FUCKING SCREAMED at my screen in literal desperation, full on ugly sobbing. for me personally, this might be the most painful death in the entire show, so far. if anyone deserved a happy end it was Hope, and I will never forgive them. rest in peace, girl. you were loved.

- Marcus, just when he got his act together with his family he gets pulled back into the club business. now he looks into Diaz' murder, which kinda scares the shit outta me. what is he gonna do when he finds out what really went down?

- the Grim Bastards think Diaz and Jinx were murdered by the Sons and left on their turf to pull them into the war. EZ wanted them to get "pushed over the edge" to side with the Mayans and Guero and Bishop delivered him the "how to do that" in a very convenient way. until Marcus shows up, that is. don't get fooled, the only reason one of EZ's plans worked is because it's a page right out of Nestor's playbook. this is basically the same thing the Galindo cartel did in season 1 when Nestor killed that nun and framed Los Olvidados so the cartel could present themselves as the savior to the public.

- Creeper's sister, who turns out to be Emilio's real life wife, broke my heart with her speech at the service. he genuinely loved and cared so much about those he considered family. I loved that everyone was toasting with water bottles to honor Creeper’s sobriety when they carried him out. EZ has nerves to straight up admitting he killed him in front of the whole club, and no one even realized how true that is. Kody had nerves too showing up but I feel like the look she gave EZ while walking out is starting to raise some club members' suspicions. there were quite a few confused looks towards EZ.

- Taza came back for the service, and it seems like he's staying. I don't know how I feel about that. Bishop wants to leave the past in the past, but it was Taza who started this whole mess and no one except these two knows. it's not okay.

- Gilly, yes the episode was co-written by Vincent but that doesn't make me care more about his family thing. Paul did get a well-deserved beating tho.

- I don't care a whole lot about Sofia either but if she is pregnant, I'm sure that's gonna end well for her and EZ's gonna be a great dad. /s

- Bottles, come on, your mother jokes weren't funny anymore when I was a teenager. and given you're a prospect and Guero a full patch, you kinda did ask to have your face rearranged, lmao. however, Sister Anne's message was not a booty call but Isaac taking the information Letty gave him and running with it. now the Mayans really are fucked six ways to sunday and the walls around EZ are closing in fast.

#danny pino #miguel galindo #andrew jacobs #guero #joseph raymond lucero #neron creeper vargas #mayans mc #mayans fx

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daechwitatamic · 2 years ago

Text

II. My Devotion's Been an Ocean || KNJ

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo @/casuallyimagining and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

You and Namjoon get used to living together.

Section Warnings: language, drinking, pov switch to Namjoon at the end

WC: 7k

Monday August 31

Monday passes quickly, the biggest event being that your wifi finally gets installed. You don’t see Namjoon all day - his room is empty when you get out of bed. You spend most of your day lazing around in sweatpants, enjoying having high-speed internet at your fingertips again.

Although there aren’t classes due to the federal holiday, the cafeteria on campus is open since the administration knew most students would have moved in over the weekend. You could walk there - your apartment to the student center is a shorter walk than the student center to your furthest class - but Taehyung offers to drive you. Laziness, and a few minutes of time alone in his car, win over practicality.

Once you’ve made your plates and commandeered a small table near the back of the caf, Taehyung asks you, “So, how’s roomie life?”

You shrug. “Nothing to tell. He hasn’t even been home today. But I think it’ll be fine. I have a feeling we’ll just each… do our own thing.”

Taehyung nods. “That’s better than big drama. Do you remember Jungkook’s roommate last year?”

Your eyes widen. “Oh, god, the toilet paper hoarder.”

Jungkook’s university-assigned roommate had indeed hoarded every extra roll of toilet paper in a secret location, meaning that if a roll ever got used up by anyone who wasn’t him, they could never find the new rolls to put out, even if they’d bought the replacements. Not only had Jungkook had to buy and then hide his own replacements, you and Taehyung had gone over and tried to help him search around for the hoard while his roommate was out, to no luck.

Taehyung snorts into his plate. “Man, that kid was weird. JayKay’s so lucky we had room for him this year.”

“I haven’t seen the place yet,” you point out. “Any major decor changes?”

Taehyung laughs again. “Just Jungkook’s punching bag. I swear, Jimin’s gonna break his wrist playing around with it.”

“Unlike you and your perfect form.” You roll your eyes.

“Hey,” he says defensively, pointing a finger at you. “When I’m goofing around, I don’t hit it hard enough to hurt myself.”

When you’re done eating, you walk back to Taehyung’s car. It takes literal minutes to get back to your brick building, and he idles at the curb.

“You want to hang out for a while?” you ask, hopeful. “We got the wifi installed today, we could watch a show?”

“Can’t,” he says apologetically. “I have plans with someone later.”

Plans with someone. That was Taehyung-speak for a date, or maybe “date” was the wrong word. Regardless, it meant he was seeing a girl later, getting something from her that he wasn’t getting from you.

“Ah,” you say. “Use protection.” You unbuckle as he scrunches his face at you.

“Don’t be gross,” he grouses.

“You know I have no choice,” you tell him solemnly as you climb out of the car. You pause, resting your head on the top of the doorframe, peering at him. “Good luck in class tomorrow. Text me if you want to eat or anything.”

“Yeah,” he says, nodding, already thinking ahead to his schedule. “Lunch around one?”

“I’ll text you, I have to go look at my schedule,” you admit. You shut the door and wave goodbye, heading inside. You don’t say love you in goodbye; you never do when you know he’s leaving your company for another girl’s. As if, with this one silly little rule in your own brain, you can punish him for it, when in reality there’s no way he even notices.

Namjoon still isn’t home, so the apartment is silent and empty. You decide to devote your evening to prepping - both physically and emotionally - to start class tomorrow. You check your schedule, organize your books, make sure your laptop is charging. You get in bed early just out of sheer boredom. Around eleven pm as you’re scrolling around mindlessly on your phone, you finally hear keys in the lock, the thump as the door shuts again, Namjoon’s footsteps approach his own bedroom. You wonder absently where he was for fourteen hours.

It occurs to you that you know nothing about his personal life beyond that he’s a grad student. You don’t even know his concentration of study.

You wonder if you should go out to say hi, maybe under the pretense of getting a drink. Then you hear the sound of his door shut, and minutes later the boiler kicks on as his shower demands hot water. So, you stay put, turning out your light and setting your alarm for morning.

Friday September 4th

Your classes go well. The first week is always the professors going through the syllabus and outlining their expectations, anyway. Today, your morning class seems like it will be interesting, but tough; you’ve had this professor before and she’s a notoriously hard grader. You’d done okay with her the year before, though. Your second class, after lunch, is better. It’s a poetry course, which is your concentration, and you’ve had this professor - Professor Jemisen - twice already. He’s pretty laid-back, an easy grader, but you always find his lecture topics and assigned readings to be really interesting.

He also gives homework on the first week, which most of your professors don’t: an assigned reading and reflection for the first poet on the syllabus, plus a prompt to write your own, pulling inspiration from that poet’s choices in style, rhyme scheme, and use of imagery. You’ve already got an idea as you walk out of class and head in the direction of your new building - this particular poet used a lot of nautical imagery, ships and captains, and the ocean itself was always very nearly a character of its own.

You think as you walk, inspired by the lecture fresh in your head, toying with some ocean imagery and how you could stitch it into a turn of phrase. When you reach your building and sling off your backpack to hunt for your keys, you decide to stay on the steps for a minute. The sun is shining but it’s breezy, and it’s really pleasant. You pull out a notebook and some paper and start to draft what you might turn in.

Pulling pulling pulling, each

cresting wave a daunting hill.

Who would try to fight the tide,

the dark, the depth, the chill?

My devotion’s been an ocean.

I fear it always will.

One thing that the deep sea is:

it’s never still.

You frown at it, pen between your teeth. You like the idea of the shorter final line, but the flow is off. You’re still considering this - as well as already thinking about how you’ll need at least one but probably two more short pieces like this for the assignment - when someone stops in front of you, their silhouette blocking the sun and casting you in a sudden shadow.

“You locked out?” a deep voice asks.

You look up (and up, and up) to find Namjoon peering at you, concern on his face.

“Oh,” you say stupidly. For some reason, you feel embarrassed, like you’ve been caught doing something silly, as if doing homework outside during nice weather was something strange and secret, and not completely normal. “I was working on an assignment. The sun - it was nice out here. I’m not locked out.”

“Gotcha,” he says easily, fishing in his pockets for his own keys. You struggle to stand, knees a little achy after using them as a table for the last half hour or so, closing up your notebook. You might as well go inside, now. You aren’t going to write anymore at this point, anyway.

You follow Namjoon upstairs, trying to find a good distance to put between you: you don’t want to be right on his heels, nor do you want him to have to hold the door for you for an awkward amount of time if you’re too far back.

Inside the apartment, Namjoon drops his keys on the counter and heads for his bedroom door. Over his shoulder, he calls, “Have a good night.”

A good night? The sun isn’t even setting yet.

But, it seems Namjoon means what he says. He disappears into his room, leaving his door open just about three inches, and he doesn’t come out again for the rest of the afternoon.

You stay in the living room through the afternoon, preferring to do Professor Jemisen’s poetry reading by the large, living room windows. You can hear Namjoon doing whatever in his room - the clacking of keys for minutes at a time, bumps and clacks as his wheeled desk chair moves and taps the table as he shifts in it, occasionally his footsteps as he crosses the room towards his attached bathroom. Sometimes you hear him mutter a curse, bang once on the desk with - you presume - a fist.

You wonder idly what he’s doing - gaming, maybe? - as you finish your homework. You submit your assignment. The sun sets. You cook an easy one-pan dinner. You wash up the dishes you made while cooking, you put the leftovers in the fridge. You go shower and wash your hair, emerge back into the living room in your pajamas, and heat up some water for chamomile tea.

Namjoon’s door hasn’t moved at all, still open just enough for you to be able to tell that he hasn’t turned on any of the lamps even though it’s gotten dark; the only light from the room flickers blue and white, a tv or computer screen. The same sounds filter through the small gap as you let your tea steep - the chair, the keyboard, Namjoon’s low voice as he mutters to himself, something rhythmic and lilting, before the typing starts again.

When you turn out the kitchen and living room lights, close to midnight, and head to bed, he’s still typing away in there, the room still cast in black and blue.

Wednesday September 9

You’re surprised to find him in the kitchen Wednesday morning. You come out of your room at a clip, pretty ready to head over to campus - you’re just trying to find your wallet.

Namjoon is sitting at the breakfast bar, a mug of steaming black coffee in front of him, scrolling on his phone.

“Hey,” he says, sounding a little surprised to see you, too.

“Do you not sleep?” you ask, before realizing how bratty you sound. “I just mean, you were still up when I went to bed, and now you’re up before me.”

Luckily, he smiles at this, a bit sheepishly. “Not as much as I should,” he admits. “I got… I was working on something last night, so I was up later than I meant to be. I’d love to sleep in today - trust me - but I have to be on campus in–” he glances at his watch, “--twenty minutes.”

“Me too,” you say, starting to hunt around the living room. “But I can’t find my wallet.”

“Is it this one?” he asks, pointing to the counter near the spot that you’ve both wordlessly designated as the place to drop your keys.

“Yes,” you say, sighing with relief. You slide your wallet into your bookbag and zip it back up. You pat your pockets, checking - phone, keys, yes. “Are you walking over? Want me to wait for you?”

He considers this for a second. “No, go ahead,” he decides. “I need to get a few things organized first, I don’t want to hold you up.”

“Okay,” you say easily, hiking your backpack up a little higher on your back. “By the way, I won’t be around tonight, I have work. If you want the leftovers from what I cooked last night, feel free. They’ll go bad after today.”

Now Namjoon looks really surprised - his eyebrows jump and everything. “Really? Wow, thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Sure,” you shrug. “I hope you like it.” You glance at the clock and murmur to yourself that you need to get going. “See you later,” you call over your shoulder as you leave. As you turn to give this goodbye, you see him watching you go with a small smile on his face, mostly hidden behind his large hand, fingers pressing against his mouth.

–

You have your senior thesis class on Wednesdays - it’s a double, with a break for lunch in the middle, and it’s with Professor Jemisen again.

“Two days in a row, huh?” he asks you as you pass his desk. You give him a quick smile and pick a desk near the middle of the room. As class starts, he outlines how the thesis will work - an intensive study and analysis of one or two poets’ works, as well as your own portfolio project.

“We’ll spend the first half each week working on the anthology study,” he tells the room, scanning the crowd of sleepy seniors to make sure everyone is listening. “After we break for lunch, we’ll spend the second half workshopping your portfolios. It’s going to be a lot of work, and you’re going to need to be ready to go each Wednesday. If you’ve made it this far half-assing it, I’m warning you today that it won’t get you to pass your thesis. I’d like to remind you that you must pass Senior Thesis in order to graduate.”

He spends the rest of the morning session going over some options for the anthology study, showing examples of previous students’ final thesis projects to model what he’s looking for.

By the time he flips the lights back on and you all stagger back to life, slowly shifting to pick up backpacks and shoulder bags, rising unsteadily from your chairs, your head is spinning. You could walk across campus to the student center and get real lunch, but this particular academic building has a coffee shop and a fast-food area. You opt for french fries and a juice, finding a few girls you’re familiar with and joining their table.

“This sounds like it’s going to be a lot of work,” one of them, a girl named Gloria, laments. You’ve had a few poetry courses with her over the last three years; she’s a talented poet, good at using a biting, precise syntax.

“I know,” you agree, twisting the top off your juice. “Any ideas whose anthology you might use?”

She hums, eyes far away, mentally flipping through poets she likes enough to type twenty-five pages about. “Not sure yet,” she finally admits. “You?”

“No,” you lie. Professor Jemisen had said there would be no repeats - if someone else picked a poet, no one else could choose them. You already knew exactly who you wanted, and you didn’t want to lose your chance. In fact, you leave the lunch break early to go stake your claim.

“Can I go ahead and put in my choice?” you ask Professor Jemisen as you re-enter the room, about twenty minutes before the second block is scheduled to start.

He frowns good-naturedly. “You don’t want to think about it a little? I’m not going to let you change in the middle.”

You shake your head, sure. “No, I know who I want.”

Professor Jemisen nods somewhat absently, looking around the scattered papers on the table before him. He finds what he’s looking for and lifts it, reaching to take the pen from behind his ear.

“Okay,” he says, finding your name on the roster. “Let me have it.”

“Edna St. Vincent Millay,” you tell him, mind already whirring, thinking ahead to which works would fit your thesis. “I was thinking of coming from a feminist angle… how she was so progressive for her time, how she pushed boundaries as a woman and as a writer.”

Professor Jemisen nods slowly, considering this. “That sounds promising. I look forward to seeing what you come up with, Y/N.”

Pleased, you take your seat, pulling up your school email and catching up on a few things while you wait for class to start again.

–

You actually like your part-time job at the on-campus bookstore. The busy season can be a little exhausting - those first few days when it seems like the entire campus comes at the same time to get their required reading. But after the initial rush each semester, it’s a pretty laid back job. Since this is your third year there, your boss trusts you with a little more responsibility, which is how you ended up getting the closing shift twice a week.

Almost no one comes in after regular dinner hours, which means once you’ve done a quick sweep through to make sure nothing got put away in the wrong spot and the items that need restocked are handled you can just sit around behind the counter and talk shit with your coworker, Kris. Kris started with you last year, and you get along well.

“Do anything fun over the summer?” you ask absently, leaning back in your chair and crossing your legs, happy to be seated for a little while. Outside the store’s high windows, it’s dark. The lighting in the store is relatively dim, giving you a cozy, sequestered feeling.

“Went with my parents on vacation,” Kris tells you. “Barely survived.”

“Yikes,” you say.

“How about you? Any family trips?” they ask.

“Nah,” you say easily. “Just hung out with Taehyung, the usual. The biggest event from my summer was Penny bailing on the apartment with me.”

Kris makes a grumpy noise. “I wish I could afford it,” they complain. “I would have loved to help you out and live off campus.”

“That would have been fun,” you smile. “We would’ve made trouble.”

Kris cackles, a deepy, throaty sound. “We would have. The roommate is okay, though?”

You shrug. “Yeah, Namjoon’s really nice. He’s clean and quiet, so I really can’t complain.”

Kris sits up, eyes widening. “Wait, Namjoon? You’re living with Kim Namjoon? The TA?”

You hesitate. “Is he a TA? I’m not sure.”

They wave a hand at you. “It has to be the same,” they say insistently. “How many Kim Namjoon’s can there be on a campus this size?”

“Probably only one,” you admit.

“Probably only one,” Kris echoes in agreement. “And he’s beautiful. I honestly blame him for almost failing Medieval Lit last year. I was too distracted.”

You can’t help it, you crack up. “You failed Medieval Lit because you tried to take it on top of a full courseload,” you object. “And you tried to write your final paper about The Legend of Zelda.”

“I had solid evidence for my thesis!” Kris balks loudly. You’re laughing so hard you’re nearly crying, remembering how strongly you’d tried to help them focus on a better topic for that paper. Kris doesn’t listen to reason - not even when it comes from you. “And I’m telling you - it’s because I was staring at his gorgeous dimples instead of listening to the lecture!”

Gorgeous dimples? You haven’t noticed. To be fair, you’ve barely interacted with your new roommate; not a lot of chances to see him smile.

“How do you find all these beautiful men?” Kris laments, tugging at their purple hair in emotional distress. “It is truly unfair.”

You laugh; Kris spent much of last year bemoaning how much time you got to spend with Taehyung - and by proxy, Jungkook and Jimin. Kris had a collective crush on the whole bunch, starting from when they shared Freshman Seminar with Jungkook.

“They find me,” you shrug. “And you know I’m blind to the beauty, anyway.” Well, that was almost all the way true. There was one exception.

“You know,” Kris says thoughtfully, “they really don’t hang out with other girls. You’re the only one.”

“That’s not true,” you object. “Have you seen those idiots at a party? They’re like magnets. It’s almost gross how easy it is for them.”

“I don’t mean at parties, I mean in their circle,” Kris explains. “You’re the only one they let into the group.”

You consider this, weighing the validity of it, searching for reasons. “I think it’s because they all know -”

Kris cuts you off, eyes glinting with mischief. “They all know that you’re so in love with Taehyung that you won’t bother the rest of them?”

You know they’re teasing and that they mean no harm, but it stings a little. You let out a quick laugh, trying to cover it. “I was going to say they all know that Taehyung and I are a package deal,” you say, the words tasting like arsenic on your tongue. “But maybe you’re more right.”

Kris seems to hear the change in your tone, and their gaze softens a little. “Anything new with that?” they ask delicately.

Anything new. You consider for a moment the version of the story that Kris knows: the close friendship, the feelings you have. How does it look from the outside? Can they see the situation with more clarity than you? You’re afraid to ask, afraid to give the question any attention.

“What could be new?” you ask, the lie dripping from you. “We were best friends last year - we’re best friends now.”

Kris gives you a side-eye good enough to be a viral meme. You ignore them, turning away gladly when the bell over the door dings. A grubby-looking freshman comes in and stands before the spinning rack with your electronic accessories - knock-off airpods, charging cables, usb drives. He grumpily sorts through the chargers and grabs one, slapping it down on the counter in front of you.

You ring him up silently and he leaves after paying. Kris is still watching you, and you dread turning around.

“You know,” they say slowly, “he was at a party I was at the other night. With a girl.”

You force yourself to shrug. “Taehyung dates. We aren’t together - he’s allowed. We’re just friends.”

They look at you evenly, then purse their lips and visibly decide to drop it. “Okay,” they say lightly. “If you say so.”

“I say so,” you mutter, deciding to go check the stock room for absolutely nothing, just to walk away.

When you get home, sometime after nine-thirty, Namjoon’s door is shut - a little sliver of that same blue light slipping underneath the crack below the door. Your leftovers are gone from the fridge, the container washed and put away.

Thursday September 10th

Thursday brings heavy rain - the all-day kind, the kind whose noise permeates the whole day, greeting you as you struggle to consciousness in your bed, adding steady percussion to the quiet music you turn on. The kind that makes you turn on lamps in broad daylight, the darkness outside making it that much harder to stay awake.

The kind that brings a barometric pressure headache, just for you.

[12:02 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: This is Taehyung, looking for signs of life [12:02 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: anyone in there? Hellooooo? [12:04 PM] You: shhhhhh why are you being so loud??? [12:05 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: ohh she’s got a weather headache [12:06 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: :( [12:07 PM] You: i want to push my thumbs through my eyeballs [12:09 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: you have such a way with words [12:14 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: you take anything for it? [12:15 PM] You: left the prescription stuff at lin’s house [12:15 PM] You: like an idiot 🤡 [12:17 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: ugh i’m sry [12:18 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: hope it passes quickly [12:19 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: lemme know if you feel good enough to come to dinner at the caf w me later

You don’t answer, pressing your head back into the darkness of the couch cushion beneath you. The pressure across your browline is nearly unbearable. You had managed to get up and get dressed, drinking a mug of coffee out of sheer desperation, before collapsing onto the couch. You set an alarm on your phone for when you need to leave for class and pray that just resting and closing your eyes until then will help, at all.

You don’t know how much later it is when you hear the front door open and close. You hear a muted thump as Namjoon (you assume) drops his bag in the entryway, then his footsteps tracing through the kitchen. The fridge opens, closes with a click, and then the footsteps approach.

They pause somewhere in your vicinity.

You can almost feel the unspoken alarm. It must look bad - you aren’t even laying down, just slumped sideways from a sitting position, body twisted to hide your face from any source of light. You raise one pitiful hand and wave.

“Hi,” you say, not sure he can hear you through the couch cushion.

“Uh,” Namjoon says, taking one step closer, “are you… okay?”

“Relatively,” you say, rolling your head to squint at him through one eye. The soothing yellow lamplight seems stabbing, and you squint a little harder, trying to block it out. “I get bad headaches sometimes when it’s like -.” You wave a hand at the windows. Rain pounds against them, happy to finish your sentence for you.

Namjoon makes an understanding and sympathetic noise. “Can I do anything for you?” he asks after a minute, sounding a little ill at ease. “Does anything usually help? Do you need to go back to sleep or something?”

“I have class at two,” you grumble. “I don’t want to skip this early in the year. And yeah, I used to have a prescription for these kinds of days, but I guess I forgot to pack them.”

Namjoon disappears into his room, midconversation, which confuses you so much that you actually make yourself sit up, your head spinning from the change in position. You see the light shift in his room - he must have turned on the bathroom light. You can hear the rummaging of items, the rolling clatter of pills in bottles. He returns with a white bottle in hand, holding it out for you to read the label.

“You take these?” he asks, pushing his glasses back into place as you peer at the name.

“Not at that dose,” you laugh. “What are you, an elephant?”

He frowns playfully, pretends to pull the bottle away. “Well, I’m not going to share if you’re going to call me names,” he teases. “You think a half would be okay?”

“You don’t mind?” you check.

He scoffs lightly. “Of course not. I never use them all. I get about one bad migraine every six months, that’s all.”

“You’re a literal life-saver,” you tell him. He gives you a gentle smile, and you notice - really notice - those dimples Kris mentioned.

They are cute. Damn.

He places half a pill on the table before you, screwing the cap back onto the bottle as he walks into the kitchen.

“Oh,” you call after him, feeling a little like you should stop him. “Hey, I can get my own…. drink,” you finish lamely as he sets a cup of water next to the pill.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, something warm in his voice, and then disappears into his bedroom again.

You’re staring absently at his empty, open doorway as you take the medicine. He’s a mystery, this roommate of yours. There are probably lots of sides to him that you haven’t seen yet, many things you haven’t discovered about him. But you decide, right there, that he’s nice.

–

[1:41 PM] You: i left my headache meds in your bathroom :(

[1:59 PM] Lin: oh noooooo

[2:02 PM] You: :( can you mail them? is that legal? Lol

[2:17 PM] Lin: i’ll find out

–

[4:36 PM] Namjoon: did it help??

[4:37 PM] You: :( why are you so nice

[4:39 PM] You: took it from Death Mode to a dull pounding

[4:43 PM] Namjoon: i’m really glad

[4:44 PM] Namjoon: i was going to order smth for dinner in a bit - you want in?

[4:47 PM] You: oh yes pls

[4:49 PM] Namjoon: Ondubu Menu.pdf

–

[4:41 PM] You: just said (typed) the word ‘pounding’ to my roommate

[4:42 PM] You: can i die now???????

[4:42 PM] Kris: lmfaooooooooooo i love you

[4:43 PM] Kris: the context, i BEG

[4:45 PM] You: i mean very unsexy context lol

[4:46 PM] You: was in regards to the HEADACHE FROM HELL >:(

[4:47 PM] Kris: let’s work on sexying up the context

[4:48 PM] You: bye 🚶‍♀️

[4:49 PM] Kris: #TeamNamjoon

[5:24 PM] You: #TeamYN

[5:24 PM] Kris: #TeamDimples

[5:25 PM] You: we’re done here

–

[6:06 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: dinner at the caf? want me to come pick u up?

[6:08 PM] You: sorry, i ate, namjoon ordered us takeout

[6:09 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: ah. okay.

[6:12 PM] You: come over later?

[6:13 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: headache?

[6:14 PM] You: all better :) come over?

[6:19 PM] You: tete... please?

[6:20 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: yeah

[6:21 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: yeah i will

–

“I’m glad you feel better,” Taehyung tells you from his end of the couch.

“Me. Too.” You wiggle your feet against his ribs. “It was truly terrible this morning.”

You’re on opposite sides of the couch, as usual, one blanket thrown over your legs. You balance your laptop on your thighs, trying to work on some homework. Taehyung scrolls through his phone.

“I was thinking, you guys should have people over this weekend,” he muses, not taking his eyes off his screen.

“Like a party?” you clarify, still typing.

“Mhm,” he nods. “A housewarming?”

You laugh a little. “That’s kind of last minute, Tae. You offering to help buy all the snacks and drinks? And clean?”

He meets your eyes long enough to make sure you see him roll his. “You don’t need help,” he grouses.

You sigh, hating that you don’t hate the idea. “Could we keep it kind of lowkey?” you ask, as if you wouldn’t be the host, and thus in charge of these decisions.

“Just the guys?” Taehyung suggests, sounding a little hopeful now that it seems like you’re cracking.

“Yeah,” you nod. “Jungkook, Jimin… maybe the others? I don’t remember all of their names.” You mean Namjoon’s friends, the ones who had helped him move in.

“I’ll ask the groupchat,” Taehyung promises.

Friday September 11th

In the end, Taehyung gets confirmation from Jimin, Jin, and Jungkook - the others seem more like maybes. Although you’d asked to keep it small, you feel the need to diversify a little, and you extend the guest list to include Kris, plus Gloria and a few more of the girls from your classes.

Of course, needing to maintain a positive roomie experience, you make sure you ask Namjoon if it’s okay. In the morning, you wait a while after you hear his shower run to make sure he’s properly awake, and then knock on his door.

“Yeah?” he calls, sounding a little distracted.

“Namjoon?” you ask, nudging his door just a little. Yeah isn’t the same as come in, necessarily. “I wanted to ask you something.”

He’s sitting at his desk, his back to you. At your words, he reaches up to pop out his airpods, and clicks to minimize the screen he had up - what looks like a word doc, from your vantage point in the doorway.

“Okay?” he says, stretching his long legs towards you, leaning back in his swivel-chair.

“Did Taehyung talk to you about tonight?” you venture.

“Tonight?”

Why are you nervous?

“Yeah,” you say. “He had an idea to have your whole group come hang here, like a little housewarming thing? He said he’d text you all.”

Namjoon glances at his phone, as if to corroborate your story, but doesn’t turn the screen on to actually check for the text. “I didn’t see it,” he admits.

“Oh,” you say. “Okay. Well, he should have invited all of you guys. I mean, you don’t need to be invited, you live here. I just, um, I wanted to make sure it was okay with you? To have people over tonight?”

You watch it on his face as he understands that you’re asking for roomie permission. He sits back up, already starting to swivel back around to his screen, nodding easily. “Yeah, of course. Thanks for asking first.”

You frown at his back; you hadn’t really felt like the conversation was over, but he’s already pressing his airpods back in with his thumbs, feet tapping with the bass.

“O-kay,” you say, backing out of his room. You have a date with a vacuum cleaner before your living room fills with people. On your way to the closet where the vacuum lives, you text Taehyung, begging him to make a liquor run for you.

–

The truth is Namjoon forgets what you asked him about twenty seconds after you leave his room. He gets back to work, trying to get back into the flow he’d had before you knocked. He doesn’t hear you leave for class, doesn’t think about it again when he leaves for his own an hour later.

[4:49 PM] Namjoon: bar tonight?

[4:50 PM] Yoongi: did we not…already have plans with you tonight?

[4:51 PM] Hobi: no, we did

[4:53 PM] Namjoon: we did? idr. can the plans be bar at 8:30?

[4:55 PM] Hobi: you’d rather do that??

[4:57 PM] Namjoon: than what?

[5:00 PM] Yoongi: we were supposed to go to your place?

[5:01 PM] Yoongi: taehyung texted us yesterday

[5:03 PM] Namjoon: oh yeah

[5:05 PM] Namjoon: i mean you all know i love taehyung…

[5:06 PM] Hobi: but…..

[5:07 PM] Namjoon: but do i want to sit around my living room with a bunch of undergrads tonight?

[5:08 PM] Yoongi: i get the feeling the answer to that is ‘no’

[5:10 PM] Namjoon: so, i repeat. bar? 8:30?

[5:10 PM] Yoongi: 👍👍

[5:15 PM] Hobi: that won’t hurt your roomie’s feelings???

[5:16 PM] Namjoon: she’ll be fine

Still, when 8:30 rolls around and Namjoon notices you bustling around the living room like a crazy person, he feels a stab of guilt in his stomach. Resigned, he asks, “Can I do anything to help you get ready?”

“Taehyung is supposed to be helping me get ready,” you grumble, as you line up a bowl of chips next to a smaller bowl of popcorn. “But is he here helping? Despite this being his idea?”

“That feels rhetorical,” Namjoon observes. You shoot him a look.

There’s a knock at the door, which saves him from your wrath, he thinks. As he watches you hurry to the door, wiping your hands once on your jeans out of nervousness, he knows he can’t leave - not yet. Silently damning both his conscience and his mother for raising him to have one, he texts the guys that he’s running late. Then, he reaches over and pops the top off one of the beers you’ve set out.

He might as well, right?

It’s an entire hour later than he finally feels like maybe he can slip away. Taehyung finally showed up about half an hour ago, three girls slipping through the front door behind him. Namjoon can’t help it - his eyes fly to your face, watching for a reaction. If you’re upset, you don’t show it, instead hurrying to show them around, pointing out where to grab drinks and where the bathrooms are located.

When Jungkook and Jin arrive - clearly having pregamed - Namjoon rises, inching his way closer to the door. Someone with a mop of bright purple hair comes through the door with Jimin, and the volume in the room triples instantaneously.

Now’s my chance, he thinks, and glances your way to see if he'll make it out unnoticed.

Would it not be easier to say, ‘hey, Y/N, this was fun, but I have plans with Yoongi’? He wonders. Probably, but that would potentially result in seeing the hurt look on your face, and he’s trying to avoid that.

On the couch, you sit close to Taehyung, legs touching, his arm over your shoulders. You’re laughing maniacally at something, using his torso to hold yourself up as you cackle, eyes squeezed shut. He looks down at you, smile large and boxy, laughing along.

Namjoon grabs his keys and slinks out the door.

“Look who decided to show up to the gathering that he planned,” Yoongi drawls when Namjoon finally slides onto the barstool beside him. Hobi gives him a sheepish look, one that says sorry about him… but also, he’s right.

“I felt bad leaving,” Namjoon explains. “No one was there yet, and then I wanted to finish the beer I opened…”

“Mhm,” Yoongi intones, and Namjoon almost asks him what that’s supposed to mean, but decides to let it go.

They talk over a pitcher of beer, Hobi filling them in on how auditions for his dance team are going, Yoongi on his current classes.

Namjoon’s phone buzzes against his leg and he slips it out of his pocket far enough to see your name on his screen.

[10:03 PM] You: did you… leave??

[10:04 PM] Namjoon: yeah

[10:06 PM] You: it wasn’t bc of us right? I thought you said this was ok???

[10:07 PM] Namjoon: no it wasn’t. just not really my scene. have fun though

[10:10 PM] You: ah ok. i just assumed since some of ur crew are here you’d join us

Yoongi’s chin is practically on Namjoon’s shoulder as he peeks at his screen.

“She wanted you to hang out, you dick,” he says.

Namjoon balks, shaking his head. “She’s just trying to keep the peace. Doesn’t want drama with her roommate.”

“No, dude,” Hobi insists, peeking over Namjoon’s other shoulder, giving him a perfect angel and devil scenario. “You are, in fact, an asshole. She’s definitely upset that you left.”

Namjoon growls in frustration, shimmying his shoulders to knock his menaces loose. “I don’t want to talk about Y/N. Let’s talk about something else.”

From either side of him, Yoongi and Hobi exchange a knowing look.

“What?” Namjoon demands.

The shared look now incorporates some eyebrow movement. Then, cool as a cucumber, Yoongi leans back in his seat, takes a long pull from his beer glass. “So,” he says, so casual, “how are things with you two, anyway?”

“What you two?” Namjoon counters.

“The roomies,” Hobi supplies. “The odd couple.”

“We are very not a couple,” Namjoon says flatly, irritation simmering.

“But seriously,” Yoongi pushes. “How is it?”

“It’s fine,” he says, a defensive edge in his voice. He pauses, tries for a second to get his act together. “As far as roommates go, she’s good. Keeps the shared areas clean, isn’t noisy. She’s not rude or anything.” He shrugs, hoping this will be enough to get the jackals off his scent.

“That’s good,” Hobi says, nodding. “Do you talk or anything?”

“Nope,” Namjoon says, which is true. “We just kind of do our own thing.”

“Her ‘thing’ being Taehyung, right?” Hobi asks innocently.

Namjoon shakes his head. “I don’t think anything’s actually going on there. To her dismay, it seems.”

“I wonder why,” Yoongi muses. When the others look at him in confusion, he explains, “I mean, why nothing’s going on. It seems like they’re attached at the hip. What’s missing? What’s stopping them?”

“He is,” Namjoon tells them. “How she looks at him, and how he looks at her… it isn’t the same. It just isn’t there for him. I won’t presume to know how he feels, but it seems like he’s just enjoying the benefits of her company until she figures out that it won’t go anywhere. If that ever even happens.”

He hadn’t realized he had an opinion about this until the words are out of his mouth.

“Kind of sad,” Yoongi remarks, pouring himself another beer.

“Maybe she just needs someone to snap her out of it,” Hobi says thoughtfully.

“Maybe,” Namjoon agrees, and changes the topic as smoothly as he can.

Honestly, he agrees with Yoongi. It is sad - even from the outside, even from the limited interaction you’ve had, he can see the stars in your eyes when you look at your best friend. And he can see the disappointment that swims there when Taehyung, just by existing, lets you down, over and over again, day after day.

Maybe you do just need a distraction, someone new to divert your attention. But Namjoon can easily see that it’ll be an uphill battle for whatever poor soul tries that route, and he doesn’t feel like he has the emotional energy for it. He’s been there and done that before, and he doesn’t like to repeat mistakes.

No matter how cute and funny he might find you.

He hurries to drown that thought in another pint of beer.

Thank you so much for reading!!! Let me know what you think!!! Theories? Questions?? Keysmashes???

Section III will post on Friday, January 27th - hope to see you there!

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#fic: mffmhh #rm fanfic #namjoon fanfic #namjoon angst #rm angst #namjoon smut #rm smut #(eventually lol)#bts x reader #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #strangers to lovers #s2l #college au #roomie au #slow burn #bts fic #bts fanfic

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