#secured loan instead
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rose-tinted-nostalgia · 1 year ago
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God, I regret this already.
#I tried everything#I couldn’t find a house or apartment to approve me#my friend had one for $2300 which I can’t afford on my own anyway but even if I could#her dad wanted first last secured it which is 7k and I have not even half that#I was going to try to stay with my mom for a few months to save but still iffy#I was going to stay with my mom for good but#she said she has to move in two months too because she’s been late on rent every time#and I legitimately don’t know if they’ll find a place because they’re broke and in a worse credit spot than I am#Inow someone with one room to rent that me and Kai could try to squeeze into with random roommate#but it’s only available Aug - Dec#my friend in Tampa offered me a room but then I’d have zero babysitter at all for Kai#and I found a random apartment complex in Orlando that’s brand new and more affordable and also takes this guarantor thing#where basically instead of a refundable security deposit to the complex you pay a non refundable one to them to guarantee your lease#but I still couldn’t get approved with chases income#but the apartment could get me in this week and I could have a year leae#versus me staying with someone for a month or two and being homeless#but what the actual fuck I’m so fucking scared right now#this town holds nothing for me personally#but my son has his school and friends and beater and dance and we’re close to everything and I do have family and a stable job#and I tried to get an RV but got denied the loan this is so fucking hard man#I’m about to give up every ounce of stability I have and move to a new city because I stumbled across a place that would take me right away#and I’m scared AF to be homeless#and I’m scared#I know I csn find a new job and I’ll have a place to live and I can work out childcare if chase and I work opposite schedules and my son is#5 and so adaptable#and we can always come back in a year and get back everything we gave up#it’s only a year#but I promised myself I was finally going to be free of him and on my own and I wanted to be proud of myself and the fact that my mom and#the RV and this house and all of this fell through crushed me#and I’m so disappointed and so afraid
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phantomrose96 · 9 months ago
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If anyone wants to know why every tech company in the world right now is clamoring for AI like drowned rats scrabbling to board a ship, I decided to make a post to explain what's happening.
(Disclaimer to start: I'm a software engineer who's been employed full time since 2018. I am not a historian nor an overconfident Youtube essayist, so this post is my working knowledge of what I see around me and the logical bridges between pieces.)
Okay anyway. The explanation starts further back than what's going on now. I'm gonna start with the year 2000. The Dot Com Bubble just spectacularly burst. The model of "we get the users first, we learn how to profit off them later" went out in a no-money-having bang (remember this, it will be relevant later). A lot of money was lost. A lot of people ended up out of a job. A lot of startup companies went under. Investors left with a sour taste in their mouth and, in general, investment in the internet stayed pretty cooled for that decade. This was, in my opinion, very good for the internet as it was an era not suffocating under the grip of mega-corporation oligarchs and was, instead, filled with Club Penguin and I Can Haz Cheezburger websites.
Then around the 2010-2012 years, a few things happened. Interest rates got low, and then lower. Facebook got huge. The iPhone took off. And suddenly there was a huge new potential market of internet users and phone-havers, and the cheap money was available to start backing new tech startup companies trying to hop on this opportunity. Companies like Uber, Netflix, and Amazon either started in this time, or hit their ramp-up in these years by shifting focus to the internet and apps.
Now, every start-up tech company dreaming of being the next big thing has one thing in common: they need to start off by getting themselves massively in debt. Because before you can turn a profit you need to first spend money on employees and spend money on equipment and spend money on data centers and spend money on advertising and spend money on scale and and and
But also, everyone wants to be on the ship for The Next Big Thing that takes off to the moon.
So there is a mutual interest between new tech companies, and venture capitalists who are willing to invest $$$ into said new tech companies. Because if the venture capitalists can identify a prize pig and get in early, that money could come back to them 100-fold or 1,000-fold. In fact it hardly matters if they invest in 10 or 20 total bust projects along the way to find that unicorn.
But also, becoming profitable takes time. And that might mean being in debt for a long long time before that rocket ship takes off to make everyone onboard a gazzilionaire.
But luckily, for tech startup bros and venture capitalists, being in debt in the 2010's was cheap, and it only got cheaper between 2010 and 2020. If people could secure loans for ~3% or 4% annual interest, well then a $100,000 loan only really costs $3,000 of interest a year to keep afloat. And if inflation is higher than that or at least similar, you're still beating the system.
So from 2010 through early 2022, times were good for tech companies. Startups could take off with massive growth, showing massive potential for something, and venture capitalists would throw infinite money at them in the hopes of pegging just one winner who will take off. And supporting the struggling investments or the long-haulers remained pretty cheap to keep funding.
You hear constantly about "Such and such app has 10-bazillion users gained over the last 10 years and has never once been profitable", yet the thing keeps chugging along because the investors backing it aren't stressed about the immediate future, and are still banking on that "eventually" when it learns how to really monetize its users and turn that profit.
The pandemic in 2020 took a magnifying-glass-in-the-sun effect to this, as EVERYTHING was forcibly turned online which pumped a ton of money and workers into tech investment. Simultaneously, money got really REALLY cheap, bottoming out with historic lows for interest rates.
Then the tide changed with the massive inflation that struck late 2021. Because this all-gas no-brakes state of things was also contributing to off-the-rails inflation (along with your standard-fare greedflation and price gouging, given the extremely convenient excuses of pandemic hardships and supply chain issues). The federal reserve whipped out interest rate hikes to try to curb this huge inflation, which is like a fire extinguisher dousing and suffocating your really-cool, actively-on-fire party where everyone else is burning but you're in the pool. And then they did this more, and then more. And the financial climate followed suit. And suddenly money was not cheap anymore, and new loans became expensive, because loans that used to compound at 2% a year are now compounding at 7 or 8% which, in the language of compounding, is a HUGE difference. A $100,000 loan at a 2% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, accrues to $121,899. A $100,000 loan at an 8% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, more than doubles to $215,892.
Now it is scary and risky to throw money at "could eventually be profitable" tech companies. Now investors are watching companies burn through their current funding and, when the companies come back asking for more, investors are tightening their coin purses instead. The bill is coming due. The free money is drying up and companies are under compounding pressure to produce a profit for their waiting investors who are now done waiting.
You get enshittification. You get quality going down and price going up. You get "now that you're a captive audience here, we're forcing ads or we're forcing subscriptions on you." Don't get me wrong, the plan was ALWAYS to monetize the users. It's just that it's come earlier than expected, with way more feet-to-the-fire than these companies were expecting. ESPECIALLY with Wall Street as the other factor in funding (public) companies, where Wall Street exhibits roughly the same temperament as a baby screaming crying upset that it's soiled its own diaper (maybe that's too mean a comparison to babies), and now companies are being put through the wringer for anything LESS than infinite growth that Wall Street demands of them.
Internal to the tech industry, you get MASSIVE wide-spread layoffs. You get an industry that used to be easy to land multiple job offers shriveling up and leaving recent graduates in a desperately awful situation where no company is hiring and the market is flooded with laid-off workers trying to get back on their feet.
Because those coin-purse-clutching investors DO love virtue-signaling efforts from companies that say "See! We're not being frivolous with your money! We only spend on the essentials." And this is true even for MASSIVE, PROFITABLE companies, because those companies' value is based on the Rich Person Feeling Graph (their stock) rather than the literal profit money. A company making a genuine gazillion dollars a year still tears through layoffs and freezes hiring and removes the free batteries from the printer room (totally not speaking from experience, surely) because the investors LOVE when you cut costs and take away employee perks. The "beer on tap, ping pong table in the common area" era of tech is drying up. And we're still unionless.
Never mind that last part.
And then in early 2023, AI (more specifically, Chat-GPT which is OpenAI's Large Language Model creation) tears its way into the tech scene with a meteor's amount of momentum. Here's Microsoft's prize pig, which it invested heavily in and is galivanting around the pig-show with, to the desperate jealousy and rapture of every other tech company and investor wishing it had that pig. And for the first time since the interest rate hikes, investors have dollar signs in their eyes, both venture capital and Wall Street alike. They're willing to restart the hose of money (even with the new risk) because this feels big enough for them to take the risk.
Now all these companies, who were in varying stages of sweating as their bill came due, or wringing their hands as their stock prices tanked, see a single glorious gold-plated rocket up out of here, the likes of which haven't been seen since the free money days. It's their ticket to buy time, and buy investors, and say "see THIS is what will wring money forth, finally, we promise, just let us show you."
To be clear, AI is NOT profitable yet. It's a money-sink. Perhaps a money-black-hole. But everyone in the space is so wowed by it that there is a wide-spread and powerful conviction that it will become profitable and earn its keep. (Let's be real, half of that profit "potential" is the promise of automating away jobs of pesky employees who peskily cost money.) It's a tech-space industrial revolution that will automate away skilled jobs, and getting in on the ground floor is the absolute best thing you can do to get your pie slice's worth.
It's the thing that will win investors back. It's the thing that will get the investment money coming in again (or, get it second-hand if the company can be the PROVIDER of something needed for AI, which other companies with venture-back will pay handsomely for). It's the thing companies are terrified of missing out on, lest it leave them utterly irrelevant in a future where not having AI-integration is like not having a mobile phone app for your company or not having a website.
So I guess to reiterate on my earlier point:
Drowned rats. Swimming to the one ship in sight.
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agirlnamednix · 4 months ago
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Welp. Name change is filed. Just gotta wait to hear back on: 1. if I'm gonna be required to pay $200+ out of pocket or if they'll accept that I can't pay that because I'm disabled, on fixed income, and on five different forms of welfare. 2. whether or not they're gonna force me to do all the legwork publishing my name change in a local newspaper which is honestly causing more anxiety than the fact that I'm going to have to be on the phone with EVERY SINGLE PROFESSIONAL CONTACT IN THE UNIVERSE to propagate my new name throughout every single system on the planet.
In the meantime, if you need me I'll be wasting the miniscule amount of fun money I have for the month resubscribing to FFXIV, a game I can't bring myself to play right now, instead of using that money to buy food. :D
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damianwaynerocks · 5 months ago
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thinking about the fic (life happens by cdelphiki) where damian and tim get sent to our world and find out they’re fictional characters. and they have to go to walmart to get supplies and damian is complaining that they don’t have his shampoo and now he has to use “peasant shampoo” and he puts the shampoo back on the shelf where they don’t go and tim is like “damian you’re making more work for the workers” and damian just says “it’s job security”
another honorable mention is when damian doesn’t get a part in a play because “nepotism. the lead is the director’s son and he cannot hold a tune” or when damian attacks tim and the cops get called and they think tim is abusing damian and damian is like “no i’m the one abusing him”
also they have to go by “wagner” instead of wayne and damian is like what why and tim is like “it’s like if a guy called himself mickey mouse. we’ll be accused of fraud” and he says this as he is actively forging birth certificates, social security cards, hacking into a bank to get a loan and forging death certificates for the rest of the family
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wannaeatramyeon · 4 months ago
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DG x Reader: Manager and their Idol
8.5k. G/N. Soft, colleagues to lover (guess I love this trope). Masterlists
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You had imagined life as a K-Pop idol manager to be much more glamorous.
You pity your young naive self. The one that envisaged schmoozing with stars and rubbing elbows with the movers and shakers, and instead set you on this horrid, lacklustre path.
What you didn't expect was the amount of time playing driver. Carting that stupid pink haired brat around. Waiting on him hand and foot during shoots and interviews, and being at his beck and call.
You have saved his ass more times than you can recall, ran through scripts with him, practised his stupid dances and moves alongside, protected him from unhinged fans and reporters and scavengers.
And yet you can count on one hand the amount of times he has thanked you.
Actually no, it didn't require any hands because he has thanked you exactly zero times for all your early mornings and late nights and for going above and beyond your duty.
Out of desperation, you had asked your boss if you could manage someone else and the request was declined.
"DG has taken a liking to you," she said, tone impressed as if that was something you should be proud of.
"Great," your smile comes out as more of a grimace.
And goddamn, this agency was so stupidly prestigious and the benefits and perks here really are second to none. Just why did Diego fucking Kang have to be their top idol.
.
.
The first time you crossed the threshold into his building, greeting the reception security guard and entering his penthouse keycode like you had been let in on the world's greatest secret, you had tiptoed around like a child in a museum. After all, this was DG's residence. The DG!
You had ooh-ed and aah-ed at every little thing. 
Taking delight in seeing his interior design of choice, the type of candy that he snacks on, the shampoo and conditioner he uses, the way he organises his desk. This is the chair DG sits on to eat. This is the sofa DG lounges on to watch TV. This is the bed he sleeps in, the bath he uses, the toilet he-
Any wide eyed innocence and awe evaporated after your first week working together.
Today, you stab in the entry code and let the door shut with a bang. 
You set his now cold coffee order on the kitchen counter and rifle with practised fingers through his unopened mail to see if there is anything you should draw his immediate attention to. You pick up his discarded clothes from the floor (and for fuck's sake, this suit jacket was on loan) and make your way to his bedroom where tufts of pink hair peeks out from under the cover.
"Good morning," you announce, locating the remote to open the blinds and letting in some sunlight.
Bedsheets rustle behind you.
"Good morning Diego," you repeat and give one warning, "I hope you're decent." With that, you throw the covers back to find the scantily dressed idol glaring up at you.
You remember the days when this sight would have made you weak at the knees. Seeing him half naked, in the flesh, freshly woken up with bedhead and half lidded eyes. It's what most of Korea dreams of, including yourself once upon a time.
Now all you feel is extreme irritation.
"Good morning," you say for the third time, plastering on a saccharine smile that you know DG sees clearly through because it is insincere as hell to anyone with half a brain cell. You let the fakeness shine through anyway.
For a split second, DG frowns as his eyes drop to your lips and then he pretends everything is good. Smiling back prettily, sharp canines on show and stretching. Lifting his arms overhead, showing a good stretch of pecs and abs and the line of muscle in a V pointing like an arrow straight down to his-
You roll your eyes.
"You're late." You throw the covers back over him and stride back towards the door. "We should have left half an hour ago." You leave out the part where you had been waiting downstairs in the car and after an hour of no show and no anything, you stomped your way up to his home.
DG, sensing your mood, adds oil to the fire with a smirk, "Why didn't you wake me then?"
If that idiot bothered to look at his phone, he would see a number of missed calls and unread messages from you.
Whatever.
"Hurry up."
.
.
DG has come across many people like yourself over the years. All cute and bright eyed, way too soft.
He never gave you any special treatment, for better or worse, and assumed that you would eventually burn out or give up and move on to something more worthwhile.
Unfortunately, in a rare turn of events, he had miscalculated.
Of course most people would be starstruck, it's only natural. But he mistook your sincerity and kind smile for ignorance and missed your sharp, observing gaze, and astute mind.
He's impressed, and he really can't remember the last time he was impressed.
In a matter of days of working together, you had managed to cut through the bullshit and within the month got him more compliant and docile than anyone else ever has.
Which should be a huge fucking problem, and raising red flags all over DG's mind.
...Except-
What's really troubling him right now, as he sulks in the passenger seat and you in the driver's, is that you have developed some sort of resistance to his charms.
Maybe a part of him does actually miss the you who he formed the first impression of. Who looked at him in wonder, with the same admiration that everyone else did.
Now that he knows you, he hates that he had thought that initial admiration was insignificant and worthless.
.
.
DG has a stash of candy in the car.
Or more accurately, you keep a stash of candy next to him to a) Shut him up and b) Keep him tolerable.
If DG wasn't so aloof, the fact that he has an incurable sweet tooth (and probably cavities to prove it) would have made headlines as a cute K-Pop fact and likely garnered sponsorship and advertising deals with all sorts of confectionary brands.
You had only found out during your adventures as his manager, rifling through his kitchen drawers trying to find his goddamn phone that he misplaced and you stumbled upon his stash of candy.
It really was a disgusting amount, something you'd expect a gaggle of grade schoolers at Halloween to hoard, not Diego goddamn Kang.
And then you also found out if he's not quiet and haughty in the car, making the atmosphere awkward, he likes to comment on your driving.
Who even sits in the passenger seat next to their 'chauffeur' anyway? He complains about you braking too suddenly and not accelerating fast enough. How you drive like an 80 year old with cataracts, and you're too slow when the light changes to green.
The turn in your relationship happened when you snapped at him to shut the fuck up after losing the final shred of your sanity on a three hour drive.
DG, to your dismay, didn’t miraculously lose his hearing and turns to you as you silently berate yourself for voicing the quiet thoughts out loud.
Although, you're in the deep end now. You're gonna get fired anyway, so if he says anything else you might as well give him a flick on the forehead or a pinch or maybe a punch to the face-
Instead, he laughs.
It's nothing like the laugh you have heard on TV and in interviews. The rehearsed and manicured 'haha' or cool chuckle that suits his shiny persona. It's kinda goofy and a lot endearing.
What's even more endearing is the way he does actually shut the fuck up for the rest of the journey. You like him a lot more after that.
So. You digress.
The candy is a way to keep the sweet toothed maniac quiet. Even if it doesn't work, at least it's harder to make out what insults he's slinging with a lollipop rattling around his mouth.
However, he has never ever shared any with you. Any of the candy that you stock, and pay for.
(That you technically claim back on company expenses, but you're trying to be self righteous here.)
Ever.
In all the months of working with him, he gobbles away happily even if your stomach is growling and you refuse to take any yourself out of principle.
Until-
"Here."
"Huh?"
Taking advantage of your response and open mouth, DG leans into your personal space and feeds you some chewy strawberry something or another (which coincidentally are his least favourite), fingers lingering on your lips for a fraction of a second.
Three things happen in quick succession.
The burst of sugar hits your tongue.
You nearly choke.
You narrowly avoid swerving.
"Careful now," DG grins when you get the car and yourself under control, and glance at him with a scowl.
Good. That proves you're not completely immune to his charms.
.
.
That bastard has now taken it upon himself to feed you candy at every opportunity.
You wonder if he's doing some sort of Pavlov experiment. The sweetness trying to erase any sourness you feel towards him.
It sort of works, and you consider biting his fingers off one of these days.
You hear the crinkling of wrappers, one for him that he pops into his mouth, and one for you that he gives without asking.
You angle your head towards him, and his fingers graze your lips every time.
Neither of you comment on the change but the intimacy drives you a little crazy.
.
.
And DG too.
Because intimacy works both ways and damnit his little gesture to keep the pretty blush on your face has backfired.
The only form of intimacy he knows comes from discreet hookups and low key links. Not someone who is around day in, day out. Or anyone that goes deeper than one night stands and booty calls.
You're there, you're always there. Of course you are, you're his manager.
But today, he feels under the microscope with you standing a couple metres away and keen eyes watching the camera monitor.
It's a no nothing day. Standard schedule where he shoots a fragrance commercial and he exits a pool all wet and sultry, white t-shirt clinging to his muscled body.
Then another scene where he writhes around slightly on a sunbed and eye-fucks the camera.
How it sells a fragrance, he never knows. The mystery of showbiz.
"Cut! More powder!" The director shouts out, the crew springing into action and DG knows exactly why.
He feels strangely embarrassed and flustered, which has manifested into his cheeks being flushed, and god he can't even remember the last time he has been like this.
It’s out of character and he needs to get his head together.
As the make up artist hurriedly dabs on some foundation, you make your way over to him.
"Are you sick?" you ask, concerned and reaching out to feel his forehead with the back of your hand.
"I'm fine," He says, turning away from your attentiveness and staring at a point in the distance.
.
.
With most people, if DG wants them out of sight, they stay out of sight.
But as his manager, and a very competent one at that, it’s harder to get you to leave.
Not that DG wants you to either, don’t get him wrong. 
The only constants he has around him are people who want something from him. And yes, he knows you’re only in his company because you work with him. However, he really can’t doubt the concern he always sees in your eyes. The compassion and empathy even when he makes you want to scream and tear your hair out.
His standoffish demeanour is not new to anyone. It’s part of his appeal to be quite honest. 
Yet he feels bad over the next couple weeks as he turns it up to eleven and tries to create some distance. He registers the hurt on your face as he is extra short with his answers and behaviour.
.
.
Pandering to overinflated celebrity egos and the insane Korean work ethic often leads to after hour shoots and dinner delayed until past midnight.
Honestly, this wreaks havoc on your sleep schedule and your skin.
"Here." You retrieve DG's takeout from the paper bag.
A double portion of delicious fried chicken with a side of kimchi and pickles. It's a change of pace from what most idols order, yet he doesn't give two shits about calories or sodium intake and to add insult to injury, somehow manages to keep his trim figure.
You lament your soggy salad sitting at the bottom. As if it’s not sad enough right now - once you arrive home, the lettuce will be wilting and room temperature and you will eat it in your dimly lit apartment with nothing to keep you company except the sound of the TV.
DG notices you turning to leave his penthouse, and his mouth moves before his brain can.
"Aren't you staying?"
"What?" You double take at the question.
DG's company is usually worse than your lonely meal for one. 
He’s annoying and you frequently want to slap him, but how he has been with you lately has been troubling and you actually feel a sense of relief at his offer.
(You had wondered if you might have been getting sacked up until this moment.)
Nevertheless, in all your time working alongside, you have never had a proper meal one on one together. Nothing more than you driving with one hand and the other hastily shoving a burger into your mouth as he looks on in disgust.
You would have dwelled on this more, wondering what's changed, what’s happened, but then-
"I'll share." DG nudges the box towards you, and the delicious scent of deep fried, battered goodness wafts along with it it
All your misgivings and your salad is forgotten.
.
.
Almost.
No, you were wrong.
Eating with DG, without any distractions such as traffic to navigate or other boisterous colleagues around, is unnerving. Disarming.
His haughtiness remains, but how haughty can someone be when munching on a drumstick.
All frostiness from the past weeks melts away as you both eat your way through his chicken.
He’s talking more tonight than you have heard in a while.
You find him funny, and really quite bitchy. Which you did know all along except it's much funnier now his slanderous comments aren't directed at you.
And has he always looked at you with such a piercing gaze? So intensely focused on what you have to say. Even if you're just complaining about your boss, blurring your lines of professionalism, he gives you his full attention.
You really can't remember the last time you have been in each other's company like this. 
You loathe to admit that even with what an asshole he is, DG's shine hasn’t dulled enough for you that you don't understand the appeal.
.
.
Leaning forward, DG whispers into your ear.
To anyone else, it looks like an over-affectionate idol with their manager. If they could hear his words, "I'm going to kill you," they would think otherwise.
Ok, so this one is your fault.
The good times have to come to an end and maybe you should have been more careful with his pride and joy - some ridiculously overpriced and over-specced vehicle.
Taking advantage of the clear blue Seoul skies, the pink haired menace was the one who drove you today in his fancy imported sports car, but the speed limits and the rest of the traffic was not on his side.
Already running late, even for him, he parked somewhere convenient and illegal then passed you the keys, leaving you stranded on the sidewalk, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, as he strode off to meet his music producer and choreographer and left you to park his baby elsewhere.
Why he entrusted you with it, you're not sure.
You would have done it anyway though, because when else are you going to have an opportunity to drive a supercar, if your boss didn't call at that moment. Questioning your expenses and DG's schedule and confusing you about the fitting at a fashion house and hair styling appointment that you knew like the back of your hand but when someone is so confidently incorrect, you start to doubt yourself.
By the time you got off the phone after pacing up and down the street and checking and double checking DG's timetable, you finally make your way back to the car-
And see it in the middle of being compounded.
You had begged and pleaded with the two men who were having none of it and you left, tail between your legs, to beg and plead with the other man who you knew would also have none of it.
Damn, you hate it when you prove yourself right in these instances.
You know DG won't really kill you, but he will likely make your life hell for the next couple weeks.
.
.
A normal person being pissed off at you would probably result in the silent treatment until tempers cool down.
DG does the opposite. Sort of.
He takes pleasure in making things as awkward for you as possible, until you're squirming in your seat trying to stay professional, thinking about your job and your rent and your bills; or torn between wanting the ground to swallow you up.
Around other people, your boss, your colleagues, his colleagues, he sidles up to you all smiles and soft looks. Slips purposely into banmal, and then oopsy, pretends that he didn't mean to be so informal with you around others.
Gossip soon stirs about your and DG's close relationship, if there's something else going on. Only you can see the mischief in his eyes and the malice in his smile and you think about yanking him by the ear and demanding to know what he is playing at.
Alone, he denies any sort of miscreant behaviour. Barely listening to you complaining and snapping at him. Ending with him outright ignoring you and you fume even harder.
This time, you're not sure the punishment even fits the crime. 
Any guilt soon dissipates when his car is returned in perfect condition within a couple days but his performance lasts for weeks.
.
.
Teasing you has always been fun for DG - when your cheeks dust angrily with pink and your eyes burn with fire.
The equivalent of a boy pulling a girl’s pigtails in the school yard.
.
.
Meetings with HNH Group usually do not involve you. If it does, at most you are waiting in the car.
Luckily, there are also an assortment of cafes and restaurants within a stone's throw and it gives you some time to debrief and catch a breather from following DG's hectic schedule.
The downside is you're never sure if a two hour meeting will be condensed to fifteen minutes or if a quick catch up with Charles Choi and other Executives turns into an all nighter.
There's been days where you have ordered a meal, then had to abandon it with a sigh and a longing look as you spot DG striding out of the building looking pissed off that you're not already there, or stayed in the vehicle with the engine running and your stomach rumbling as short appointments overshoot.
Maybe this is another consequence from DG being petty and irate with you for getting his car towed - you're left snoozing at the steering wheel of your runaround, the idol standard-issue luxury minivan, waiting for his return.
It's far too late in the evening for anywhere to be open, only the fluorescent lights of convenience stores and glare of the HNH logo illuminates the streets.
DG opens the sliding door, climbs into the back and slams it hard enough to jerk you awake and rattle the entire van.
He’s sitting by himself in the back, which is odd enough in itself.
As you blink away the dregs of sleep, in the rearview mirror, you notice the stiffness in his shoulders and the tightness in his jaw. His eyes stare vacantly out the window. DG is clearly upset about something, enough to crack through his aloof veneer.
"Are you ok?" You don't get a response, not even a passing glance.
Obviously something has gone wrong with the HNH Group meeting and the stress has manifested.
You wrack your brains thinking of something that might cheer up this asshole and you think of the only thing that improves your mood when you're on the verge of a breakdown.
(Usually due to the aforementioned asshole in your current presence). 
"Tteokbokki and beer?" You offer. It’s past your bedtime but a sulky DG for the rest of the week will also ruin your week too.
DG briefly looks at you before going back to staring at the window. It’s not a no.
You don’t get home until past 4am that night. 
At your favourite late night hole-in-the-wall, you eat far more tteokbokki than DG. On second thoughts, you don’t remember him eating any at all. You’re talking and downing beers to fill the silence, trying to perk up this silly celebrity. Loose lipped and spilling far more details than you would if you were sober, with him seated opposite and sipping on a soda. 
As the night ticks along, he thaws and a small smile settles on his face watching you gesticulate and ramble about your life.
You don’t get home until past 4am that night-
With DG driving, piggybacking you up to your apartment, and tucking you into bed.
.
.
DG can’t stop thinking of the weight of you on his back, arms slung over his shoulders, legs at his waist and his hands gripping your thighs.
You slurring drunkenly into his ear as he climbs the stairs in your building. It’s mostly nonsense. He can’t make out your words but remembers your breath tickling his skin.
And when he wraps your duvet around you, the brief moment of lucidity in your eyes as you look at him, softer than you ever have, you tell him, “Thanks Diego.”
Diego.
.
.
Nothing changes between the two of you after this. Not really.
You still find him an enormous thorn in your side. Incredibly stuck up and haughty and you continue to want to throttle him on a weekly basis but you are immensely grateful for him not leaving you a passed out heap on the sidewalk.
You’re in the middle of chastising him once again, dragging him out of bed as he is running late and being an absolute dick about it. Taking it easy as if he has all the time in the world. 
Well of course he does. He’s not the one that will be getting an earful from your boss or on the receiving end of the production crew’s complaints, as if trying to manhandle and cart this manchild around is easy.
“Diego Kang, I swear to fucking god-”
"James." He says, interrupting you as he picks out and pulls an eye-wateringly expensive jumper over his head.
"What?"
"Call me James when it's just us.” He checks out his outfit in the mirror, seemingly satisfied with it, before moving onto his hair. “James Lee. That's my real name."
DG, or James Lee, keeps his eyes on his reflection. Inspecting his non-existent roots, styling his fringe to make it fall just so and applying a liberal amount of hair product.
Nonchalant and casual even as he offers something desperately personal about himself.
"James," you say, trying out the sound for yourself. A name that seems at odds with his loud K-Pop shell but you imagine a time before the fame and the celebrity and the pink hair and it somehow fits.
"James," you repeat, and receive a small smile in return. Then it drops as you add, “If you don’t get your ass in the car in the next five minutes I will kill you.”
.
.
“James,” you think to yourself before you drift off to sleep that night. 
How peculiar.
“James, James, James.”
.
.
Celebrities these days are multi-hyphenates.
DG is an Idol-CEO-Actor, or at least trying to add the last one onto his resume. On looks alone, he would have already gotten his foot through the door. Add on his reputation and popularity, he is drowning in offers.
What you personally dislike more with K-dramas scenes though, is how long things take. How much it revolves around other actors and their managers whereas DG being in the studio or filming a music video is pretty much all him.
This K-drama is supposed to be the next big thing. 
With the biggest names attached, including DG who is making a cameo. The cameo that was also scheduled to be filmed five hours ago but you have both just been lurking in his dressing room since.
Along with some measly snacks and refreshments, which the crew has been kind enough to provide. 
However, the snacks are all but gone (thanks to you) and the refreshments are dwindling and there is no end in sight.
DG, or James, as you have started to call him in your head, is on his phone. He’s always on his phone. Scrolling through news articles, responding to important emails and messages.
There’s only so much news or celebrity gossip you can take. You have exhausted your own social media feeds and you have spent far too much money on your gacha games and the guilt has set in.
You twiddle your thumbs on the sofa next to him as he takes no notice of your presence and you decide to rest your eyes. 
Why not anyway? DG doesn’t need anything right now, work won’t be interrupting you, and there’s nothing for you to do. Just for a minute or five. Until someone from the production team knocks on the door and announces that it’s time for his scene.
DG side-eyes you when he notices your breath start to slow and deepen. Falling asleep on the job, really?
Then you let out a snore before smacking your lips together a couple times and he holds back a snort. He reasons that he should let you have some time to rest. After all, you’re the one that drives him around, his life is in your hands everyday and tiredness kills.
He’s on his phone for a few more minutes, reading through more emails on PTJ Entertainment and out of the corner of his eye he notices you drooping.
Body slowly slumping to slouch over him, until your head makes contact with his shoulder and you’re snoozing happily on your newfound pillow.
It’s equal parts inappropriate and cute.
Ugh, DG is 99% sure you’re drooling on him and the wardrobe department isn’t going to be happy when he returns the outfit.
Either way, that’s not going to be his problem. He adjusts minutely, makes it just a touch more comfortable for you and continues to scroll.
.
.
You wake up to a wetness by your mouth, and to your horror, DG smirking down at you.
.
.
Despite none of this being your fault, you apologise to everyone about having to reschedule DG’s music video shoot due to the previous day’s K-drama delays.
To your relief, the music video goes swimmingly and without a hitch, and the production is wrapped up on time. 
You’ll happily bet that his new song will go straight to No.1. If not, then at least the sensual music video will guarantee DG remains top of mind for weeks. 
You’re updating your boss and even she seems to be pleased.
"This is just work." DG interrupts as you're mid call.
You look up at him, brows furrowed.
Holding your hand to your phone to mute the speaker, you whisper, "I know."
"Good," and he walks away leaving you as confused as ever.
It's not the first time you have seen him shoot an MV, which thank the heavens is so much more efficient than bloody k-dramas, and also not the first time that there's been scenes that emulate an intimate moment. Lips nearly brushing together. Hands roaming bodies under fake rain.
Even if DG notices that you're watching the scene, eyes glazed over and bored, he still felt the urge to explain to you that there's nothing between you and the leading lady in the video.
Once out of sight of everyone, he facepalms himself for his ridiculousness.
.
.
You’re right, and you absolutely love it when you’re right.
The song goes straight to No.1 and holds that position for weeks, fending off competition from boy bands and girl groups and other solo artists. Apparently it’s going to be the song of the summer.
The music video also breaks records for being the most watched within 24 hours.
DG only reviews it once for post-production checks and finds it just fine.
There’s something he can’t quite put his finger on that seems off with it.
He wonders what it would look like if it was you starring opposite him.
.
.
“Where on earth is he?” You grit your teeth and grip harder onto the umbrella that is threatening to be swept away by the wind.
And another thing with being DG’s manager: it’s fine if he’s late but not if it’s you.
(Although to be fair, this instance of him being late is likely due to this particular music producer he’s meeting with enjoying the sound of his own voice.)
You were running late exactly one time in the past, during the first couple days of managing him, when the skies opened and drenched the earth. 
Heavens forbid DG’s perfect, beautiful, flawless hair is ruined by the rain. 
It’s not like he looked like a drowned rat. The paparazzi caught him in a wet t-shirt, fabric clinging to his abs and his pink hair slicked back stylishly. Even the goddamn raindrops were running fashionably down his high cheekbones and dripping off his pout.
For the next week, the tabloids and internet forums went wild with how hot he looked. 
(Who knows, maybe that was the inspiration for his fragrance commercial.)
Nevertheless, DG was displeased and it made its way back to your boss how displeased he was.
Ever since, you have been the unfortunate soul waiting in all manners of weather for him. Rain storms, blistering sun, freezing snow.
Today, it’s your favourite. Rain. You shiver against the elements trying to take shelter under the building entrance canopy, the wind whipping the downpour every which way and you’re getting soaked regardless of how you angle your umbrella.
“Hurry up, DG.”
You check the time over and over. He would be early to his next appointment if he exited the building now. 
…On time.
…On time if the traffic was in your favour.
…Late, but not terribly so.
…Fashionably late.
… Late enough to piss everyone off in the room.
Shit. Just as you begin to fret, wondering if something has happened to him-
Clicks and flashes from cameras alert you to his royal highness finally making an appearance, ready to exit the studio and making his way over to the car.
He materialises by your side, and you mutter a familiar phrase to him. 
“You’re late.” 
It’s a mantra you’re tired of repeating, but he relishes if the amused grin is any indication.
Without a word, he takes off his trench coat and drapes it around your shoulders. His right hand covers yours over the umbrella handle, left wrapping around your waist as he guides you through the throng of reporters and fans.
“What are you doing?” You hiss under your breath. 
You can imagine the optics now from the papers and your boss. It looks… Well. Not terrible but not the best.
“You’re soaked,” is all DG provides, accompanied with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. 
He opens the driver’s door for you before he climbs into the passenger’s side.
.
.
Thank goodness for your gift of the gab.
He’s being a gentleman, you tell everyone that would listen. Isn’t this what Korea wants? An idol with manners and who looks after everyone? Is empathetic and caring?
Think how well it would resonate with the female demographic, who wants a boyfriend like this! The older boomer demographic, who thinks none of the young ‘uns have any manners anymore!
Your boss isn’t convinced until the advertising offers for umbrella companies roll in.
.
.
Truth be told, DG doesn’t know what possessed him to do that. Especially in front of cameras.
Though, it’s not like he could just let you get even more drenched could he? You’re standing there, looking pitiful and he was just going to let you hold the umbrella over him when he should be the one taking care of you-
Hold on.
DG frowns at himself.
Damn.
.
.
James Lee has never looked after anyone besides himself. You need to look after yourself if you are to survive this dog eat dog world. To make it atop the Pre-Generation, the First Generation and now the Second.
He had unfathomably high expectations of himself (that he managed to achieve) and low expectations for relationships (that hadn’t been proven wrong yet).
People have flitted in and out of the chapters of his life, no-one staying around for long. Definitely no-one staying around long enough to know him, for him to grow comfortable with. 
Perhaps it has been the forced closeness that has caused him to let his guard down. Cabin fever, in a sense.
But James Lee, Diego Kang, has himself also been around long enough to know there’s more to you and he wants more of you.
.
.
Finding reasons to spend time together isn’t difficult. Actually, finding reasons to spend time apart would be much harder.
You both get on with your jobs and your duties, even as the closeness grows day by day.
And every time when you’re alone and you call him James, his heart grows fonder.
.
.
Out of all the seats available in his apartment, James lounges next to you, long legs draping over yours.
It's another night in together.
These seem to be happening with increasing frequency. DG at least used to keep up appearances, networking with his fellow celebrities.
Parties where you used to look at him with distaste as starlets surrounded him, award shows that he couldn't care less about as you hung around in the background.
Now he prefers to stay in with you, using work as a thin excuse. Studying lyrics that he has already memorised, going over dances that are long ingrained in him.
"You're not going to her party?" You ask, you were sure this fan-favourite and DG were an item or had history. At the very least, the who's who of the industry always attended her gatherings.
"No," his eyes continue roving over the lines.
Then when you thought the conversation was done, he looks over the top of his paper, eyes sparkling with playfulness, "I prefer being here with you."
Oh. Your breath catches in your throat.
You think you might never breathe normally again.
.
.
No, that’s a lie. Any opportunities for rose-tinted glasses has long passed by. You both know each other too well for that.
You breathe perfectly fine. Actually, this morning you are taking deep breaths to try and centre yourself. 
It’s not working. 
“You’re always fucking late,” you snap, giving in to your anger.
Sometimes you think it is your fault for not watching over DG 24/7. That instead of going back home, you should just live with him so you can shake him awake when he is supposed to get up instead of when he wants to.
And does it hurt him to look the least bit contrite at making your life a misery? 
Why does he have to look so smug with a lollipop stick hanging out his mouth? Seriously, between all the rushing around this morning, when did he find time to look for goddamn candy?
“For fuck’s sake, James.” You’re speed walking towards his front door, looking at the Maps app on your phone and miss his smile at you snarling his name. 
You’re already running behind and every route to the recording studio is red due to roadworks or an accident or just plain ol’ congestion. “Shit!”
Your finger jabs at the elevator button multiple times.
“It’s not going to get there any quicker if you do that,” DG speaks lowly into your ear and you get the urge to pinch him.
Instead of prodding some more at the button, you turn around and prod him in the chest.
“You’re going to get me fired one of these days,” You growl. “It’s fine for you, Diego goddamn Kang, the star who is pretty much untouchable. I’m not. I’m replaceable. There’s a million people who would take my job-”
DG snatches your hand, holds it still. “You’re not replaceable.” Then adds with an infuriating grin, “So what if we’re late.”
The minivan is skipped, and his answer to your problem is his other pride and joy. A motorbike that looks far too aggressive and a complete death trap.
“I’m not getting on that,” you say as DG hands you leathers that materialised from god-knows-where and a spare helmet.
“Fine,” he says, shrugging and throwing a leg over. “I don’t think your boss will be happy.”
“Fuck!”
.
.
If this was any other situation, you would be acutely aware of yourself pressed up against DG’s back. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
Except all you can focus on is that you’re going to fucking die. You think you might be screaming.
“Stop screaming!” His disembodied voice calls out. Oh. Turns out you are.
For some reason, DG had thought the helmets with built in speakers and mic would be better for communication. Fun, even. Frankly, you’re just giving him a headache.
(Not to mention the fact that he bought a spare helmet at all. And leathers that he thought would be exactly your size.
He had never rode with anyone before and you certainly had never expressed any interest. Yet he passed by a motorcycle store when he had rare time to spare, and visited on a whim.
If he dwelled on this anymore, DG is sure his headache would turn into a full blown migraine.)
Later that night, when the ringing in his ears finally subside, he will still think about the way you held him.
.
.
When public opinion is on your side, then that’s fantastic. Amazing. You tend to get away with all sorts of things.
When it’s not, the truth can become muddied and there’s mental gymnastics from all sides painting you as the villain.
Fortunately, public opinion generally works in DG’s favour, especially in the case of his stalker who got sentenced for more jail time than if she was harassing a normal person, but not long enough to account for all the distress she has caused.
Such is the criminal justice system.
Her date of release looms large and near. DG, despite his talent and fighting prowess, realises certain traumas can’t be erased.
He grows on edge. Skittish. Snaps at any and everything. It’s noted by journalists. Other managers gives you questioning looks
You don’t miss his change in demeanour. To you, the reason behind it is obvious. 
You’ve heard about this case, everyone has. It dominated headlines for almost a month: the crazy sasaeng fan who believed herself to be DG’s girlfriend before moving onto another poor soul and was finally arrested.
As he spirals, nothing you do or say to him manages to get more than a nod or a frown. You try to offer that she had fixated on someone else before she was arrested, hoping that was a small consolation to him. And though he managed a weak smile, the black cloud still hangs over him.
In the end, you pack your bags and arrive at DG’s one evening. Instead of letting yourself in like you usually would, you ring the buzzer, smile into the door camera and tell him “It’s me!”
The door swings open to reveal DG looking perplexed (and worse for wear). Head tilting, curious and inquisitive when he sees your suitcase and carrier bags full of snacks.
“I’m staying for a while.”
“According to who?”
You barge past him anyway with a grin.
.
.
The date of his stalker’s release arrives and passes without drama.
You miss your home comforts but it makes you happy to see DG’s mood genuinely improve as the days go on.
The luxurious oversized mattress, fancy spa shower, and jacuzzi bathtub also helps to make your stay a bit more bearable.
Not to mention each morning DG actually cooks breakfast for you. Turns out he’s not bad at all at playing a househusband, and it’s also maddening how he manages to get up each day before you when he hasn’t got any place to be.
“Thanks James,” you say, when he presents you with a home cooked meal and his smile grows a bit more each day.
.
.
Peace doesn’t last.
Blurry photos of you both leaving and entering DG’s apartment at all hours of the day and night make the front page of certain news sites.
Headlines scream with leading questions. 
“Relationship beyond Manager and Idol?”
“How a Manager seduced their Idol.” 
“Who is this mystery person that has tamed DG?”
Why anyone deemed it newsworthy is beyond you. You’ve been to his apartment a million times. 
Yes, you suppose the closeness of DG and yourself in the photos can look a little suspect. 
In this particular one, it looks like you have your hand caressing his chest when in actual fact you were shoving him away for a dismissive comment he made.
And the other photo, of his hand on your wrist, was actually him dragging you away when he spotted a herd of fans in the distance.
More pictures unveil themselves.
A snapshot of you driving and DG feeding you candy.
You and DG, whispering intimately in your ear as his supercar is being towed away in the background.
You red faced and drunk as DG piggybacks you outside your building.
His jacket wrapped around you, hand on your waist and angling the umbrella over you.
Him smiling down at you (ok, you admit that you didn’t realise how soft that looks to other people.)
Finally an exceptionally pixelated image of you both on his bike, that could be anyone really.
Unfortunately, your opinion is in the minority as the articles are inundated with comments and furious, tearful fans shrieking that their idol is betraying them. 
Simply unhinged.
.
.
The speculation grows. You’re damned if you do deny anything, damned if you don’t. Your talent agency puts out an official statement.
To your ire, the statement is ‘no comment’ rather than anything more definitive. You glare at James when you find out, suspecting he has something to do with this.
He gives you a shrug, and a familiar look of mischief.
To his credit, he doesn’t leave you completely to fend for yourself. You stay off social media for your sanity, and when the paparazzi hounds you, he's the one with his arm around you, cutting a path through the crowd and shielding you.
It adds fuel to the fire. Does nothing to help your case. 
Still, you can’t help feeling safe and secure with his hand guiding you - holding onto your waist, round your shoulder, or simply - 
Your hand in his.
.
.
Outside of the conference room, where DG is wrapping up a press release for his newest album and nothing else, a reporter slinks out and approaches you.
You’re used to being on the other side of the conversation. Part of the staff, herding DG through camera flashes and questions being thrown at him though there was always some sort of camaraderie. Both parties just trying to do their job with deadlines and targets to hit.
This time you just feel a weariness as you see this person making a beeline towards you.
“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” They say, holding out their hand for a shake which you take with reluctance.
“Hi.”
A voice recorder is thrusted into your face, and you automatically take a step back. “Hope you don’t mind, but I just have a couple questions for you.”
“Um...”
“There’s been lots of sightings of you and DG together-”
You open your mouth to argue-
“Can you confirm your relationship with him?”
A vacant smile settles onto your face. It’s a practised expression where you follow all the cues to be polite and professional even as internally you wish to be anywhere but here. “I’m his manager.”
“Are you two together? Romantically?”
“I’m his manager.” You repeat through gritted teeth, and you’re surprised to hear your voice calm and collected.
“Is that a no? Or-”
“What even is this question?” You scoff, ignoring the way your cheeks heat, and refusing to partake in this circus a moment longer. “This is over.”
You manage to at least catch them looking apologetic, before you stride off into a corner to take a deep breath.
.
.
DG, much more adept and experienced at fending off questions, had finished the conference early and caught the entire exchange, watching you both with a bemused look.
Walking towards you with quiet, measured footsteps, his hand settles onto your lower back as he murmurs your name.
He bites back a laugh at your small, startled jolt.
DG tilts his head to signal ‘this way’. You give him a look but follow him regardless. Trailing behind, moving far away from other prying eyes. 
Up a flight of stairs, through multiple fire doors, turning left then right then another right then maybe a left. It doesn’t matter. You’re hopefully lost and decide to just put your faith in this wretched idol.
He finally seems to find what he’s looking for as he reaches an empty corridor; stopping mid-step and you collide into his back.
“Ack!” You exclaim, hitting the solid wall of muscle.
He lets out a huff of laughter and whirls around to face you, noting how cute your look of surprise is.
How strange though, that this is his current position. But is it really unexpected that the person that has been by his side for months has finally worked their way into his heart and has somehow learned to read him when no-one else could?
If he really thinks about it, yes actually, it is unexpected. No-one else has managed to grow close to him before. As James Lee, as Diego Kang. Birds of a feather or opposites attract or everything in between, no-one has got him like you do. 
There’s still so much more to tell and show you but… First things first.
Fidgeting, you shift your weight from one foot to another, growing self-conscious waiting for DG to talk, only to find him staring intently at your face. Impatient, you give in and speak first.
“What is it?”
“...”
“Diego-”
“James.” He cuts in abruptly, “It’s just us right now. Please.”
You blink in shock at the please and correct yourself at his insistence, lowering your voice so it doesn’t echo down the empty hallway. “James, are you ok?”
“Better than ever,” he says, a smirk now pulling at his lips.
You register his change in mood and narrow your eyes, wondering where this is going. “Why are we here?”
“When the reporter asked if we were together, you said you’re my manager.”
“I am your manager.”
“But you are interested in me.”
It’s not a question. DG, no James, says it like a fact and there’s no doubt in your mind or his. You open your mouth to argue, then close it again. Open it once more-
What.
You feel some cogs in your brain misfiring and all you can manage is a feeble, “Huh?”
“You told them you’re my manager, but didn’t say no to being with me.”
“...”
“So. What do you think?”
“Of what?”
“Us.”
“You like me. Tell me that I’m wrong.”
You take a step back. “...”
Another step. “...”
“Tell me you don’t want this.”
And your back hits the wall with an oomph.
DG slaps his hand on the wall beside your head, bends at the waist and leans his weight forward until he’s eye level with you. “Tell me and I promise I’ll stop.”
“...”
You’re cornered and he searches your face for a response.“Y/N?”
“...”
Fuck. Fuck!
How on earth are you supposed to respond when he looks at you like this. When his face is millimetres from yours and his breath is on your skin and his dark eyes pierces into your soul, pupils blown deliciously wide.
With his stupid pink hair and his fringe flopping, framing his face and his high cheekbones.
The stupid canines of his poking out that gives him so much character and is so hot it hurts when he flashes it accompanied with an arched brow and an arrogant smile.
His stupid pout and his stupid lips, that you know is constantly moisturised with a fancy overpriced lip balm to make it look kissable for the cameras.
And Jesus Christ, you hate to admit it but they do. They 100% do because somewhere in the back of your brain you always knew they look kissable but it has been often clouded by just simply how annoying and bratty you found him.
Except right now you don’t find him annoying or bratty at all.
Even as he’s confessing his feelings with complete confidence, no unease, no anxiety or doubts, because he always had a way of worming under your skin and he knows exactly how to push your buttons.
Damn it all.
“Kiss me,” you tell James, and he isn’t surprised at all by your reaction, face lighting up at your confirmation.
He shifts. 
Hand coming up to cup your cheek. He rubs his thumb twice over your skin, savouring you any way he can before tilting your face towards his. His lips at first brushes against your forehead. Leaves a trail down your nose, peppers both cheeks and then your chin. 
He draws back once, takes in your sweet face and gives you a smile so soft it makes your heart hurt.
Then finally, after wanting this for so long, presses his lips against yours.
Diego Kang, James Lee, tastes like candy and sugar.
584 notes · View notes
shadowkoo · 3 months ago
Text
Just Dance It Off
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→ Summary: You're over the moon when you land the female lead in the end-of-semester show. It feels like your hard work has finally paid off, everything is going great. Well, until you learn who your partner is…
↠ jimin x f.reader | 9.5k words | 18+ ↠ genre: smut, angst, fluff, ballet dancers au, enemies to lovers, performing arts college au
→ Warnings: explicit and unprotected sex, jealousy, masturbation, alcohol consumption, underage drinking, use of fake ID, mild exhibitionism, creampie, hair pulling, angry sex, nipple play, degradation, dirty talk, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, multiple smut scenes, heavy teasing & banter, edging, orgasm denial, light choking
→ Author Note: This is a rewrite of an old 2019 fic of mine, so I hope you enjoy the newest version! If you’d like to read this on ao3 instead it’s been crossposted here! Also a biiiiiiig thank you so Sarah @caelesjjk for beta editing this for me. Go show her some love if you aren't already following her! As always, all likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated <3
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“Oh, no,” you hear one of the dancers behind you whisper to another, “Look who’s walking in.”
Your curiosity gets the best of you as you casually stretch, your eyes betraying you by glancing over your shoulder toward the door, dying to see who they’re talking about. You recognize him almost immediately and the whispers continue to grow about the slender male who is walking across the room to set his stuff down.
Park Jimin.
Of course, he would be auditioning for this show. It’s his final semester, and you really should have seen this coming. Especially since you knew he was bound to get whatever position he was auditioning for. That’s a given.
Park Jimin always gets whatever he wants in life; whether that be a specific role in a performance, who his performance partners are both on the stage…and in the bedroom, that sort of thing. He’s the most pretentious person you’ve ever met, seeing as he acts like he is God’s gift to the dance world, and you’re already dreading any interaction you’ll have with him.
Rumor has it that his daddy, former dancer and sponsor, paid his way into Juilliard, but as much as you hate to admit it, he (unfortunately) happens to be very talented and you doubt the school didn’t already have something lined up for him, regardless of who his family is. Unlike you, who was on the waitlist for two months and had to take out a loan worth more than your life to attend this school.
Your eyes meet his and Jimin does a once-over before moving onto the people to your left. What a prick.
“Y/N!” a voice yells from the entryway. Your familiar, freckled, redheaded best friend is quickly prancing towards you.
“I’m so happy to see you here,” Catalina squeals before hugging you tightly. “What part are you auditioning for? Please tell me it’s lead. God, I miss you. It sucks that we don’t have any classes together this semester. How are you?”
You hug your petite friend back, “I miss you too! Please tell me that you’re not also auditioning for lead, I don’t want to be judged against you. Your pirouettes are perfect compared to my lousy ones.”
Her laugh echoes through the room. “Apparently you didn’t hear about my recent tumble,” she jokes, bumping her shoulder into yours. “I’ll gladly be in the background after my solo-gone-wrong.”
“Alright, everyone!” One of the male judges calls out, walking past the lineup of dancers to collect everyone’s entry form. “We’ll start with the routine you were required to memorize as a group, and then it will be individual evaluations after. Make sure your numbers are secured and let’s line up outside the door.”
After taking your place and getting into position with the rest of the packed room, you wait for the cue to begin. The routine is short and simple, and years of practice have made some of the required moves second nature.
Before you know it, the judges are escorting people out the door for the individual sessions.
You're about twentieth in line, right behind Cat. That makes you a bit nervous because, even though she’s not auditioning for the lead role, her impressive skills might land her a more prominent part than the one she’s aiming for.
Everyone else is quietly chatting in line while you do your best to relax, working through your routine in your mind. This is one of your pre-audition rituals. It always helps with easing your nerves.
By the time you finish running through a couple of full-outs in your head, you’re second in line. You wish Cat good luck as she’s ushered into the dance studio. Her five minutes go by almost too quickly, but she exits with a happy smile.
“Hey, good luck! Kill it, okay?”
You nod, quickly following after the woman who calls your name next.
“Miss Y/N, it says here that you’re auditioning for the female lead. As a sophomore?” Mr. Jenson, one of your dance professors and judge, questions. You prepared for this. It’s very uncommon for an underclassman to try out for such a prestigious role.
“Yes, sir. That’s correct.” You hold your head high.
“Well, I have to say I’m quite impressed with your confidence. Whenever you’re ready.”
You wait for the familiar beginning notes of Tchaikovsky’s Waltz Of The Flowers to play before flying effortlessly through your well-practiced routine. You’re banking on the emotional state of your dancing along with the technical moves you’ve included to impress the judges, and based on their faces when you finish, you figure you did just that. You can’t help but grin widely as you watch the four of them scribble furiously onto the sheets of paper. That’s a really good sign.
“I have to say, I was a little thrown off in the beginning by your song choice since it’s so, hmm, how do I say this, so amateur. But I was very surprised by what you chose to express and the level at which you dance,” the first judge says.
“Yes, the lines you created with your body were very exquisite,” another praises.
You nodded, taking in their advice and criticism.
“Thank you, Miss Y/N, you may exit.” Mr. Jenson says with a smile.
As soon as you step out the door and exhale, you feel a sense of relief. The excitement of your successful audition courses through you, filling you with good energy.
You find Cat stretching in the warm-up room next door.
“Oh my god, you got it. Didn’t you?” She squeals the second she sees your face.
“I don’t know…” You have a pretty good idea based on their responses and comments but aren’t positive.
“Oh, please,” she rolls her eyes, “That’s your ’I just nailed my audition’ face. You totally got it.”
“I hope so. God, wouldn’t that be so insane? When was the last time an underclassman got the lead?”
Someone behind you scoffs; you look over your shoulder and see that it’s Jimin. Your eyes narrow at him, but Cat turns you back before you go off on him. “Not worth it, the rest of us seniors think it’s great that you’re trying for a top spot. How about we go get a drink from the vending machine while we wait?”
You nod before grabbing your warm-up bag and follow her out. “I can’t believe him. He’s so stuck up,” You grumble once you’re far enough away that no one but Cat can hear you.
“He’s always like that, just be thankful that you don’t share any classes with him.”
You’ve heard that Jimin is usually the center of attention in class, whether it’s his choice or not, so you can’t imagine being stuck in one with him. It sounds like it would be impossible to get good feedback if the teachers only care about him.
After you both buy the drinks that you want, you head back. The line is smaller but it will still be at least a half-hour until everyone has had their turn. You sigh impatiently and head back into the warm-up room.
Deciding to sit along the mirrored wall, you rummage through your bag to find a pair of headphones and put your favorite playlist on shuffle while you wait. Even though it feels like half the day goes by while you’re sitting there waiting, it’s really only been about an hour.
Everyone’s attention lands on Madam Jamie, one of the contemporary dance professors, when she asks everyone to re-enter the audition room.
“Okay,” she starts once everyone gets in line, “Those whose numbers I am about to call, please step forward. Dancers eleven, one fifty-three, one forty-seven, seventeen, thirty-eight, twenty-two, and one ten.”
Cat gives you a concerned look as she steps forward without you.
“Seventy-two, fifteen, sixty-eight, thirty, thirty-four, eighty-two, one twenty-one–” you step forward and sigh in relief once she spoke your number. Tuning out the rest of the numbers called, you smile at Cat as she reaches for your hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
“Everyone else, I’m sorry to inform you that you have not been selected. Thank you for your time,” She finishes, resting her clipboard against her chest.
Those who didn’t make the cut are escorted out as Mr. Jenson stands up to make an announcement.
“I have everyone’s part listed here,” He shakes the paper in his hand. “It’ll be left on this table for you all to look over. However, I want to first congratulate you all. We are excited to have this much talent for the semester’s exhibition show. We have some great things planned and cannot wait to get started with you all. Please take note of our rehearsal schedule. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Eight to noon. Most of you should not have conflicting schedules as all dance classes are held in the afternoon anyway, although if you do have a problem just stay after and we can work it out. Madam Jamie and I will see you back here Monday morning. Dismissed.”
You and Cat both wait until more people clear out of the room before you have the guts to read the paper.
Catalina Wilde - Corps de ballet
Your eyes wander across the page as you search for your name.
Y/N - Lead Female Soloist
Turning towards each other, you squeal “Oh my god,” at the same time.
“I can’t believe it. We both got what we wanted,” you excitedly rush out.
“I know, this never happens. Oh, I’m so excited!” She reaches for your hand and squeezes it again, picking up the paper with her other hand.
“Oh, no.” She turns the paper towards you, “Look who your partner is.”
Park Jimin - Lead Male Soloist
You huff, “Of course, I’m not surprised.” You turn your head and search the mostly-empty room for him. You have a feeling he’s still here, it’s like you can sense his presence.
“Cat! You coming?” the group of dancers near the door asks.
“Shoot, I’ve got to head to my next session. I’ll see you later, okay?” Cat says, giving you a quick hug as she runs out the door.
Leaving just you and Jimin.
Deciding to let go of your prejudice against Jimin, you figure the best move would be to congratulate him on getting the part he auditioned for.
He watches blankly from the mirrored wall as you walk towards him.
Once in front of him, you stick your hand out. “Hey congrats, I’m looking forward to–” you begin before he rudely cuts you off by holding up his hand.
“Yeah, whatever,” he sneers, “We need to take this extremely seriously so I expect you to be at our rehearsals an hour early so we can get in extra time,” he looks you over again, “From what I can tell you’re gonna need it.”
“Also,” apparently he isn’t finished, “I expect that you’ll be taking care of your diet from here on out since I’m going to be lifting you and I don’t want my arms to give out, or worse, snap.”
“Well, you can always go to the gym and work on that yourself,” you say defensively. What a jerk.
“So can you, sweetheart.”
“Uh, wow. Okay…” Here you are trying to congratulate him and here he is treating you like dirt. “Guess the rumors are true,” you mutter as you shift your duffel strap further up your shoulder, turning to leave.
“Excuse me?” Well, shit. He wasn’t supposed to hear that part. You look him in the eyes without showing any regret for your previous statement.
His eyes narrow at you, clearly not liking your RBF, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Sorry.” However, you aren’t.
“You know,” he remarks, “I don’t care about what you’ve heard about me or what you think about me. I care if you’re going to be too immature for this role and if that’s the case I’ll have no trouble replacing you.” He follows you out the audition room.
Oh boy, you’re pissed now. You turn around and get right in his face.
“What the fuck? In case you haven’t noticed, you aren’t in charge here. Just because you’re a senior and I’m a sophomore doesn’t make you any better than me,” you bark while shoving a finger in his chest.
“Secondly, I don’t need to believe the rumors because you’ve just proven them to be true. You’re an ass to all of your partners to the point that they don’t want to dance with you so you can,” you lift up your hands to finger quote this next part, “Pick who you think is good enough.”
You scoff, “Well, here’s a fun fact dickwad. I’m not going anywhere. The judges chose me and I fully intend on dancing as the female lead in the show. So get the fuck over yourself ‘cause you’re about to be seeing a lot of me in these next few months. Got it?“
"Fine,” he huffs, pushing past you.
“Fine!” you snap, turning away from him and heading towards your next class. Now that you're thoroughly annoyed and not in the mood for your next class, which happens to be a two-hour lecture on the history of interpretive dance, you sigh and get moving before you’re late.
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The first two weeks of ‘rehearsals’ are spent training, just at a higher level than you’re used to. However, you hide it well. You’ve been making sure to keep up with the upperclassmen because you know that you are, unfortunately, replaceable if Madam Jamie or Mr. Jenson deems it necessary.
It doesn’t matter that your thighs feel like they are on fire, or that your calves might be ripping at every bend and arch you make. You’re going to complete the one hundred pliés just like everyone else without a single complaint.
Jimin must have taken your last conversation to heart, or he’s exceptionally good at masking his feelings if your words bothered him, because he’s been an excellent partner all week. Although, you know you aren’t going to grow a typical relationship with him as you did with all of the other partners you have had over the years. You’ve been friends, good friends, even, with your previous partners, something you know is never going to happen with Jimin.
He doesn’t do small talk. He really doesn’t have much to say at all other than pointing out when you are making a mistake. No good comments, nor praise–not that you’re expecting any–but it would have been nice to hear him say that he is impressed with how well you’re keeping up with him.
It’s Friday of the second week, which means that it’s the last day of the training period aka hell week, thankfully. You’re dying to get started on learning the actual program. You aren’t looking forward to Jimin’s request of showing up an hour earlier than everyone else this next week, but even though you hate to admit it, the extra time will end up benefiting you.
Today also happens to be the day the choreographer is coming in. You’ve heard the whispers throughout the school this week, everyone trying to guess who it’s going to be.
And after seeing who Madam Jamie walks into the studio with, you’re so happy to see that they were all wrong.
“O-oh my–ohmygod,” you bumble and did a double-take. It couldn’t be, could it?
The brown curls hung gorgeously on the tall man’s head and you internally drool at how much better looking he is in person. He’s so tan, so fit, so delicious–
“Can you concentrate?” Jimin grumbles in annoyance, pulling you out of your slightly inappropriate thoughts. You’re doing partner stretches, which does require some level of focus, but not enough that you have to look away from the literal Italian God who stood a mere six feet away. “What’s your deal anyway? We’re supposed to be preparing our muscles for the toughest training session yet and you’re over there stuttering like a fool.”
You scoff at him and lower your voice, “Don’t you know who that is?”
Jimin rolls his eyes. “Does it look like I care?” He mutters, pushing the backside of your thigh towards your torso.
“You can’t be serious,” you exasperate. “That’s Luca Black! You know, one of the most famous choreographers in the dance world right now. I can’t believe you don’t see how big of a deal this is.”
“The only thing I care about right now is making sure your hamstrings are loose so you don’t kick me in the face when we’re dancing.”
Now there’s an idea…
“Alright, everyone! Front and center please,” Mr. Jenson announces as he walks in the door, right on time as usual.
“Dancers, I would like you to meet Mr. Black, your choreographer. I expect you all to treat him with the same level of respect that you give me and Madam Jamie.”
“Oh please,” Mr. Black says, stepping forward, “You can all call me Luca.” His smile hits the heart of every girl in the class, and even a few of the guys. “I am looking forward to working with you all to make this performance one to remember. Can we get into a lineup to start?”
Everyone moves into the typical sequence based on each person’s position of where they belong. Which meant that you and Jimin were dead center with Luca’s eyes right on you.
You swallow slowly when he walks towards the two of you. “You must be Y/N. Mr. Jenson has told me quite a lot about you. I have to say, I am most excited to work with a dancer like you.”
Jimin is perplexed that Luca went straight to you. If anything, he’s the better dancer here and he doesn’t quite understand why a sophomore is getting so much attention. He’s nearly sick to his stomach listening to the nauseating conversation that you two are having.
“It’s an honor to have you working with us Mr. Black,” you say in awe as you shake his hand.
“Luca,” he corrects before lifting your hand to kiss it, “And the pleasure is most definitely all mine.”
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“Sorry,” you pant, rushing through the door. “I know I’m a couple of minutes late. I couldn’t find parking. Why is it so freaking busy? It’s barely seven.”
“Don’t let it happen again,” Jimin says ignoring your question. You bite your tongue and get straight into your morning stretches.
“What do you want to work on today?” you ask, knowing what he is going to say after you’re warmed up. For the past three weeks, you and Jimin have been dedicating extra time to perfecting scene two's Pas De Deux.
It’s the only section of this scene where you’re both completely alone on stage and Jimin is dead-set on making it nothing less than perfect. He reasons that just because you are the only two people on stage doesn’t mean that the audience’s attention is a given, you need to earn it.
Which is a very on-brand thing for Jimin to say.
“Do you really need to ask?” He snickers with a playful smile plastered to his face.
“Nevermind then,” you banter back, joining him as he finishes stretching.
You’ve surprisingly gotten pretty comfortable with Jimin after spending more time with him. Dancing with him is mostly fun, besides when he calls you out on your mistakes…repeatedly. But even then, you know he tries to mean well. You both have to be the best or the other will end up looking like a fool–which (you assume) neither of you want to happen.
Knowing that you’re almost halfway through the semester is a little terrifying. All the dancers have been making great progress and everything is coming together seamlessly, but you can’t help but feel the nervousness set in.
You take a deep breath and clear your thoughts, getting nervous right now will do you no good. Thankfully, when you start dancing your mind settles and you’re able to concentrate on your performance. 
Well, that is, until Jimin drops you during the lift. You might have understood the mistake if he hadn’t done it three times prior.
“Get up.” He holds his hand out for you, pulling you to your feet. “We need to get this number down, you know how important it is.”
“I’m aware of that,” you hiss. “But it would be nice if you weren’t letting me fall every two seconds.” You rub your aching side and stretch to see if that helps ease the pain.
“Just dance it off, you’ll be fine.” Jimin walks over to his stuff along the wall, before bending down to grab his water bottle.
You scowl. “Stop being ridiculous and hold me properly. I don’t have teeth anywhere down there,” you say motioning to the space between your legs. “You can put your hand where it belongs without worry, you know.”
Jimin blushes as soon as he hears your words, he turns away quickly before you notice. Yes, it’s technically his fault that you keep falling. It isn’t intentional, but he can’t help it. Especially when he can feel the warmth of your center from where his hand is resting when he goes in for the lift.
The thought of other parts of him being this close to your heat is driving him crazy and yeah, he may have faltered, which yeah, may have caused you to crash down once…twice. Okay, maybe three times. Or four?
It doesn’t matter. He’s so hyper-focused on why he’s thinking about you like this at all. You’re attractive, he already knew that. But this new-found thought of wanting to take you hard and fast, right here in the studio is something else. It comes from deep within, and he can’t decide if he wants to squash the idea completely or let it lead to something wild.
Jimin shakes his head, trying to get rid of those thoughts just long enough for you to both get through these next ten minutes before the rest of the crew arrives for rehearsal. “Alright, let’s go again.”
You get into position, Jimin falling behind you. You try to hold still but his breath tickles your neck while you wait for the music cue.
The motions are practically natural to you at this point, and you take a deep breath, preparing yourself in case you fall again.
You rapidly suck in air when you feel Jimin’s fingers press deep into your inner thigh this time as he lifts you. They are incredibly close, much closer than they were last time.
You won’t ever admit to it, but your mind is overflowing with dirty thoughts of Jimin’s fingers somewhere else. Particularly somewhere that would have you writhing within seconds.
Those thoughts are distracting, and you’re late for your cue to jump down. And somehow instead of jumping, your body twists around in a weird way as your head dives down toward the ground below you. Tensing, you brace for the impact that doesn’t come.
Unexpectedly, Jimin manages to catch you before any damage happens, and he quickly pulls you up, as if you were never upside down to begin with. His arms are wrapped right below your butt, causing your head to be directly above his. How on earth it got there, you have no idea.
But you aren’t questioning it. Adrenaline runs wild through your body, and you cling to him as if your life depends on it. Your arms are wrapped tightly around his neck, scared that you still might fall somehow.
Your faces are only a few inches apart in this position, which allows you to see how soft and smooth Jimin’s lips look. You slowly lick yours as he lowers you down to the ground, keeping the same amount of distance, or lack thereof, between you two. The realization that it would be so easy to kiss him right now has set in and you swear Jimin has the same mad thoughts; especially when he’s gripping your hips this tightly.
What you both don’t realize is that outside of the main doors, the rest of the dancers are watching with wide eyes and shocked faces. If it weren't for the unmistakable red hair you see in the mirror's reflection, who knows what might have happened? You don’t think about it, instead, you pull away and play it off before heading toward your bag to grab a drink.
“Morning everyone! What are we all waiting for?” Luca says from behind the dancers, “Let’s go in and get warmed up.”
He opens the door and sees you and Jimin at opposite ends of the room, each taking big gulps from your water bottles. Interesting…
Cat walks in and sets her stuff down next to Jimin’s and silently watches him. His face is flushed but she can’t tell if it was because of the intense moment you two just shared, or from the strain of the lifting sequence. She was the first to notice the look you two shared before the crowd outside the door, and she has a weird feeling about it.
Last she knew you were still fighting with Jimin during your pre-practices, although she’s very aware of the saying ’there’s a fine line between love and hate’. Cat makes a mental note to ask you about this morning’s situation later.
The first half of practice is weird, to say the least. Jimin is treating you like nothing happened. And while technically nothing happened, something almost did and you don’t know how you felt about the something.
Needless to say, you aren’t on top of your dance game today. It’s hard to concentrate with your head filled with empty-answered questions and even more confusion.
“Okay, everyone,” Luca echoes, stealing every dancer’s attention, “Let’s take five. When we reconvene we’ll do a recap of Scenes One through Three with no breaks. If we can get it down we’ll move onto the beginning of Scene Four today.”
You and Jimin happily turn in opposite directions, grateful for some space.
“Y/N, can you stay back? There’s something I want to go over with you,” Luca calls out, stopping you from heading in the direction of Cat and some of the other girls.
Oh no. That’s never a good sign.
“Don’t worry, you’re not doing anything wrong,” he says after seeing your smile falter. “I just see a little room for improvement with the last sequence before the song changes in scene three.”
He gestures for you to get into position in front of him, which you do without hesitation.
Luca moves closer to you and rests a hand on your lower back, “Tighten here and stretch.” He shows you how to position your body to make it look more elegant and elongated. “See how much longer you look now?” His eyes meet yours in the mirror. “Hold yourself like this through the rest of the dance. Trust me when I say you’ll notice a difference. So will everyone else.”
A blush creeps up your neck when his hand slides across your hip before he steps away from you, “Thank you for the tip.”
His eyes burn into yours, and you feel the heat growing in your lower stomach. “Anytime, Y/N.” His lips turned into a small smile, which you returned.
Jimin stalks silently as Luca touches you, his anger bubbling deep down inside him. Fuck, he doesn’t exactly want you, but he definitely doesn’t want anyone else to have you either. And he sure as hell doesn’t want Luca touching you like that or giving you those looks; looks that have disguised intentions with ulterior motives behind them.
He wants to tell Luca where to go and how to get there, but he knows better. Not only would it be unprofessional as hell, but Jimin would probably be screwed out of a lot of future events if he tells one of the best choreographers to fuck off.
He forces himself to look away and takes another deep breath, calming down a little before part two of rehearsals starts.
The second half of rehearsals ends sooner than expected, and Jimin storms off before you even have the chance to talk to him about this morning. You sigh, your eyes trailing his fast exit.
“Y/N! I’m heading to the vending machine for a granola bar, want to come with me?” Cat asks. You’re sure that her question has a hidden agenda too, but you go along with it anyway since you’re starving and need to eat something small before your next class.
“Sure, just give me a second to switch out of my pointe shoes.” You don’t like to wear yours for walking since they’re new and still stiff.
“So,” Catalina begins, watching you put the money into the machine. “What was that this morning? And don’t you dare try to say it was just dancing, because I’ve seen 'just dancing’ with Jimin and that was not at all what I saw earlier.”
You groan internally, not wanting to deal with her interrogation. Cat isn’t the type to judge you if you told her that you would’ve fucked Jimin right then if it wasn’t for the fact that you noticed her (and the rest of the dancers). But you don’t want to admit it to yourself.
Saying it and thinking it are two very different things, and you aren’t sure you can come to terms with saying that you want to fuck Jimin. Hell, you have no idea if you will feel the same way in an hour. So you choose to keep it to yourself for now.
“Did something happen between you two?” she asks bluntly.
“No, nothing happened between us.”
“And is that a good or bad thing?” she questions next.
“Good,” you huff, “I think…”
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It’s been another busy few weeks, and things have been going great…until today. To be honest, this is probably the worst dance day you’ve had in years.
“I’m sorry guys, let’s start from the top,” you apologize again for messing up. The scene you’re going over today isn’t complicated by any means, it’s only a transition scene. But your head is elsewhere which, in turn, makes you mess up every couple of seconds.
You're not getting many approving looks from the room. Luca is a little worried, Madam Jamie has pursed lips, and the dancers are severely annoyed with you.
“No, Miss Y/N.  Stop before you hurt yourself.” Mr. Jenson lets out a frustrated sigh. “Kyra, would you stand in for Y/N and show her how it’s properly done?”
You’re embarrassed that it’s gotten to this point. What is with you? You’ve done this sequence perfectly with Jimin this past week, hundreds of times at least. Now with the extra dancers on the floor, you seem to be forgetting it all.
Taking soft, shallow breaths is the only thing keeping you from crying in front of everyone. But they wouldn’t notice. All eyes are glued to Kyra, a senior who had also auditioned for the same role as you, as she dances with Jimin.
They dance beautifully, you can’t deny it, even if you want to. You can’t help but wonder if she would’ve been the better choice for the female lead.
“Thank you, Kyra. Everyone back into position now.”
Kyra walks past you and smirks. You know she’s thinking the same thing that you are. She probably also thinks that she’s capable of sweeping in and stealing your position. Like hell if you’re going to let that happen.
Even so, it’s not your decision to make and you know if you keep screwing this up it’s more than likely to happen.
“Hey, are you okay? What’s your deal?” Jimin whispers once he lines up with you again. The last thing you need is for him to make you feel worse for fucking up.
“I don’t know, it’s not a good day for me,” you whisper back as your eyes fill with tears. You’re completely exhausted, defeated, and disappointed.
“Just dance it off, we all get days like this. Follow my lead, okay? I promise I won’t let you mess up again.”
You nod, blinking back your tears. This is a different side of Jimin than you’re used to. He’s caring and knows exactly what to say to make you feel better.
After shaking off the earlier mishaps, you get yourself together and push through practice, making sure that the first official run-through of the program is a total success. It makes you feel a hell of a lot better than two hours earlier. You can tell that the rest of the group is just as ecstatic as you and Jimin are.
“That was great, Y/N!” he says, pulling you into a comforting hug. “See, all you needed was a little reassurance.”
You’re slightly sad when he pulls back, the warmth of his body is no longer felt. “Thank you for today. I would’ve completely fallen apart without you.”
“Hey don’t worry about it, make sure you get some rest this weekend. See you Monday!” He smiles softly and waves bye. Who knew Jimin had more to him than what everyone else saw?
“Hey, Y/N!”
You turn your head and see Madison, one of the upperclassmen who’s also in the show, walking toward you.
“What are you doing tonight? Some of the girls and I are planning on going out to celebrate our first successful run-through of the show. We’re wondering if you’d like to come?” She leans in a little closer, “We have a fake you can use to get into our favorite club, Wander. We’d love for you to let loose with us.”
Usually, you would turn down any interaction that involves alcohol, especially since you’re underage, but you don’t want to disappoint your potential new friends. Plus it does sound like a lot of fun, and after the practice you just had, you deserve to let loose and relax.
“Yeah, totally! I’d love to come.” Madison smiles and you both trade numbers.
“Okay cool, I’ll text you my address later. We’re gonna get ready at mine before we head out. See you later!” She gives you a quick hug before heading out the door.
You’re secretly excited to hang out with the older girls since you don’t have many other friends in your year. Especially not now with all your free time taken up by rehearsals.
Jimin stands outside the dance studio’s side door, slyly eavesdropping. He makes a mental note to accidentally run into you later. He isn’t sure what’s gotten into him, but he doesn’t want to go without seeing you for two days.
You intrigue him, and after your almost-kiss, Jimin wants to know what your lips feel like for real this time, not just what he has been imagining.
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“What can I get you?” the bartender asks over the pounding music. You have no idea what to ask for; you obviously don’t drink and ordering something from the bar is a little out of your comfort zone since you don’t know what you’re doing.
Madison catches on and takes over. “Five shots of tequila for our group!” she yells while leaning over the bartop so he can hear her.
Oh boy, you don’t know much but you know enough to feel safe assuming tonight will be wild if you’re starting with shots, of all things.
With about a month left until the show, deciding to let loose with the girls is exactly the kind of break you need. Dancing, drinks, and good friends. Looking around, you’re happy to see that you have all three. It’s all a part of tonight’s plan.
What you don’t plan for, however, is seeing Jimin in the middle of the dance floor with Kyra all over him. After practice today, this is a total slap in the face.
You aren’t sure if the progress you’ve been making with Jimin is just one-sided, or if you had been imagining it this whole time. It feels like you’re both taking two steps forward in the right direction and then something like this will happen, sending you ten steps back.
Your eyes are glued to Kyra’s body as she dances with him, her hips moving at the perfect speed. You can’t help but be jealous of her. Not only is she gorgeous and a great dancer, but she also has a way of demanding everyone’s attention in any room she graces. Although, there’s only one person’s attention you want right now, and from what it looks like, you doubt you’ll be getting his anytime soon.
“Oh my god, is that Luca?” Catalina asks with a surprised tone, pointing towards the opposite end of the bar, “No way, it can’t be.”
“It is,” you laugh nervously before looking away. You’re a little worried that he might remember that you’re under the legal drinking age, only by a year, but still. How embarrassing would it be for him to get you kicked out…
“That’ll be $42,” the bartender drones, pushing the over-spilling shot glasses toward your group and happily taking whichever girls’ fifty-dollar bill in return.
You lift your glass along with the others, “Here’s to letting go and having fun!”
The tequila burns the back of your throat but that doesn’t stop you from hollering, “Let’s go dance!”
You pull Madison and Catalina onto the dance floor, coming to an abrupt stop when your back collides with someone., “Oh my gosh, I am so sor–” You pause and stare at the dark-haired man, “Oh. Hi.”
“Hi ladies, I hope you’re not getting into too much trouble tonight,” Luca jokes with a wide smile displayed across his face. He looks gorgeous dressed in all black, the leather jacket tops off his outfit.
“Oh of course not, Mr. Black,” Catalina giggles playfully, “We’re all good girls here.”
He raises his eyebrow which makes each of you giggle, “I’m not so sure about that. Can I buy you all a drink? Or is that a little weird?”
You look around at the girls; they do the same.
“Uh, sure? Madison finally says, breaking up the awkward silence.
Cat and one of her friends entertain Luca’s conversation while they wait at the bar. You slyly peek over your shoulder while dancing, looking for you-know-who. You can’t find him, but you’re happy to see that Kyra has moved on to her next man of the night.
"Hey,” Luca says, walking towards you with an extra drink in hand. “Here you go. Shhh, it’s our little secret,” he says humorously.
You thank him for the drink, nervously swirling the ice with the slim black straw in your cup.
“I’m happy I ran into you,” he begins, “Can I talk to you for a second, alone?”
“Oh, uh, sure!” You nod to Cat, silently saying that you’ll catch up with her later. He smiles and pulls you aside from your friends.
“What’s up?” You ask tensely while Luca grins, running a hand through his hair.
“I just want to tell you how impressed I’ve been with your progress so far, I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you at rehearsals.”
Oh my god.
“Really?” You gape.
“Absolutely,” he reaches for your hand, bringing you closer to him before bending down to plant his lips on yours. You freeze as he kisses you gently, entirely unsure of what to do in that situation.
He quickly pulls back after reading your body language, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Luca,” you say curtly, taking a step back, “I appreciate your tips in class and kind comments, but I think we should keep things professional here. You’re the choreographer and I’m a student...”
“Of course, I apologize again. How about I walk you back to your friends and we forget this happened?”
“That would be perfect.” You’re thankful that things don’t seem too awkward, and you only hope things will stay that way when you see each other Monday morning.
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Jimin’s fingernails dig into the flesh of his palms as he clenches his fists. Fucking Luca Black. He was heading your way to say hi, but Luca led you in a different direction than the one your friends are heading to. He should have known better, but he follows behind slowly. And what he sees when he finally turns the corner doesn’t sit right with him.
Luca’s hand on your cheek as the two of you kiss. Jimin isn’t exactly sure who initiated it. And even though it’s eating him alive, he doesn’t want to know because it pains him either way.
He watches as Luca pulls away, and takes note of your stunned face. Jimin wants to believe that was because you didn’t enjoy it. He can’t hear what you’re talking about, and he truly wants to believe that Luca is making you uncomfortable based on your reaction to the kiss. But that hopeful thought is squashed as soon as you smile and take Luca’s hand, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor.
Jimin is still trying to process what he just witnessed even though you’re both long gone. He steps out of the shadows and throws his drink at the wall, ignoring the sound of the glass breaking behind him. Grumbling under his breath, Jimin takes the closest exit and slams the club door behind him.
He heads home with the hopes that a cold shower will ease his rage, but the cool water running down his back isn’t doing much for his boiling blood, nor is it getting rid of the image of Luca’s lips on yours. And inevitably, he can’t get you out of his head either which in turn results in him masturbating to those thoughts of you … which is anything but calming.
Jimin closes his eyes and imagines that it’s him kissing you, not Luca, and that he’s the one who has you pushed up against the wall. He can practically hear your soft whimpers, the ones you make when you’re doing partner stretches that always have him close to losing it right there in front of everyone at rehearsals.
But it isn’t him who’s stretching with you. His length quivers in his hand as he speeds up, trying to change his thoughts to you aroused in the club bathroom, his hand sliding underneath your dress and slipping into your panties. Jimin throws his head back at the image of you getting all worked up, but once again, it isn’t him that’s driving you wild. It’s Luca.
After the fifth attempt and still failing to picture himself with you, Jimin gives up. He groans, looking down at his length’s angry red tip that’s aching for release. And there’s only one thing that will give him that. You.
But not an imaginary you. The real you. The real you wanting him just as much as he wants you. He doubts that you ever will, not when you can have Luca instead.
Meaning that Jimin is basically screwed.
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Monday is a killer. Jimin has been hateful to you all morning, and you genuinely have no idea why. He seems to be fuming now at the end of rehearsals, compared to the quiet angry vibe he was giving off earlier this morning.
“Hey, great job today Y/n. You’re doing phenomenal. I can’t wait to see this all come to life next week. See you tomorrow!”
“Thanks! Yes, see you tomorrow Luca.” You wave bye while he rushes out of the room, leaving just you and Jimin behind.
Jimin waits until Luca is out of earshot before saying anything. He’s been annoyed all day by your and Luca’s behavior after witnessing the two of you making out in the hallway of Wander.
He’s disgusted, even more so by the afterthoughts of Luca bringing you back to his place and taking advantage of you. Needless to say, he didn’t sleep much this weekend.
“God, you’re such a suck-up,” he criticizes, failing to hold back his evil words. “How special do you think you’re going to feel when the paid help you’re boning doesn’t remember your name the second he moves on to the next school and finds a new student to seduce?”
“Excuse me?”
“You can pretend all you want but I saw you Friday night. With him.”
Oh god…
You shake your head, “Jimin, I can explain–”
“Whatever, waitlist. I don’t want to hear your excuses.” He turns around and internally grimaces, upsetting you isn’t what he was going for. He’s pissed and unfortunately, you’re the only person he can take it out on. It’s a dick move to say things like that, especially since you deserve to be here just as much as everyone else.
Jimin knows he should just let it go, but he can’t help it. It’s been eating him alive all day. He’s pissed that you’re acting like a damn fool because of Luca’s attention. Luca’s eyes hadn’t left your body the entire day.
Fucking perv.
Jimin is more pissed that it’s bothering him so much. He shouldn’t care, he doesn’t–or at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.
Jimin’s words stung, and you’re shaking out of pure anger. “What the fuck is your problem? I can handle the normal stick-up-your-ass behavior but it’s on a whole new level today. Chill out, okay? It isn’t what you think. Nothing happened after he kissed me. Not that it’s any of your goddamn business, but it actually made me, like, super uncomfortable and he apologized directly after. We both agreed it wasn’t professional, so piss off Jimin. And even if I did decide to take it further with Luca, it wouldn’t concern you. So stay out of it.” You’re near him when you finish, with crossed arms and eyes glaring.
It’s unbelievable Jimin would make such a comment; the last thing you need is for him to start telling people what he saw.
You know you would be harshly reprimanded for using a fake ID to get into a club, but also for accepting a drink from someone who is a teacher, and especially for kissing that same teacher.
Jimin is just as heated as you are. So his intuition was right that night. His anger only grows, wanting to punch Luca over and over again for making you uncomfortable like that. How could Luca not tell that you weren’t actually into him, but rather idolized him for his contributions to the dance world? How dare he use that against you to pull a move like that?
“Fine,” he growls in your face, totally furious at the situation, and furious with himself for caring this much about it–about you. You’re driving him crazy, even now when you’re pissed with him. It turns him on how strong and defensive you always are, and fuck, he wants to do something about it.
“Fine,” you snap back, taking another step forward as your eyes subconsciously lower to his parted mouth.
In a matter of milliseconds, your lips collide and your hands are all over each other’s bodies. He lifts you into his arms and slams your back into the mirrors. It’s a miracle that they don’t shatter from his force.
You gasp at the contact and Jimin takes the opportunity to shove his tongue further into your mouth. Your legs lock around his waist while you continue to explore each other’s mouths and bodies ravenously.
Jimin pulls away and tugs your leotard down your arms, freeing your breasts from the tight compression.
“You’re so fucking annoying, do you know that?” He snarls before leaving a line of rough kisses along your neck and down your chest. You whimper at the sensation and run your fingers through his hair.
“You’re so fucking loud, do you always have to say so much?” You moan in response.
Jimin is starved for your taste and can’t wait any longer. His hands travel down your side while his lips close over one of your soft peaks, sucking it in between his teeth.
You mewl, crashing your head back against the glass from the sheer amount of pleasure.
Jimin abruptly pulls away and brings his face back in front of yours. “What? Do you have something to say?” he asks with fire in his eyes. But with his lips replaced by his fingers, twisting and tugging, you’re helplessly tongue-tied.
He moves one hand lower and another soft moan escapes your lips, his middle finger dancing dangerously above your panties before dipping into your slickened folds.
Jimin knows exactly where and how to touch you, causing your head to spin. He feels himself hardening watching your face contort in pleasure, and nearly coming in his pants when you slowly lick your bottom lip, pulling it in between your teeth and letting out a long moan in the process.
“Mmm, Jimin,” you cry, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Jimin notices this and instantly pulls away. You don’t get to come that easily. Even though it makes him super fucking excited to see what his touch does to you. God, this is so much better than what he imagined.
You whimper at the loss of his touch, “What the fuck?”
“Turn around,” he demands, his eyes flooding with lust and a dash of something dark. He undresses you rather quickly, leaving your tights and leotard wrapped around your legs.
You decide you aren’t going to let him have all the fun, sneaking a hand back behind you. Jimin grits his teeth in pleasure as your hand slips into his pants. His length twitches in anticipation of feeling you wrapped around him. You pull his member out and lead him between your damp folds, moaning deliciously at the contact.
The scent of your arousal has now filled the room and Jimin can’t hold back any longer. He wants to fulfill his fantasy of taking you hard and fast, right here in front of the mirror. Without a warning he slams himself into you, causing you to lose your breath.
Your back is against him as he relentlessly pounds you from behind. The force of his thrusts are hard and you use your hands as leverage against the mirror to avoid being crushed by him, even though it would certainly be worth it.
Jimin brings a hand up around your neck and holds your head straight so he can watch when you come. You’re close and he knows just what to do.
“Say my name,” he demands, using his other hand to pinch your clit. “Look at me and say the name of the man who’s making you come like you never have before.”
“Jimin, oh my-” The waves of pleasure wash over your entire body, every inch of your skin tingles. You pulsate around him, but he’s not done with you yet.
“That’s damn right.” Jimin twists you around again, lifting you against the reflective glass. He keeps his fast pace, with a fistful of your hair held between his tightening fingers.
“You’re such a fucking slut. Look at you losing it over my cock,” he snarls with a clenched jaw, “I’m gonna fuck you like this until the rest of the class comes in.”
Jimin rams into you with twice the amount of force as before. “I’d make that fucking Italian bastard watch as I take you hard and make you feel this good.” He brings his lips up to your ear and whispers, “He could never,” before harshly biting your ear, sending you completely over the edge for a second time. 
Jimin watches you unfold, your beauty completely mesmerizes him. Your entire body is on fire from oversensitivity while Jimin’s fingers rub your throbbing nub. You watch, completely hypnotized, as he brings his soaked fingers up to his mouth and sucks them clean.
“Oh, don’t think we’re anywhere near done yet,” he smirks devilishly, moving his thumb back to your clit and rubbing in crude circles. Your eyes squeeze shut at the sensation, and you can’t catch your breath. It’s too much.
Jimin hisses when your fingernails dig into his shoulders. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re so tight right now.” It isn’t long after those words leave his lips that he’s shuddering inside of you, his release shooting into the depths of your heat.
Your insides coil as you reach the peak of your third and final orgasm. Jimin holds your legs steady as you come hard over his cock, and swallows your moans with his mouth.
He slowly retreats out of you and presses his flushed cheek against yours. You can feel his heartbeat thumping out of control while you both catch your breath.
After a moment, he draws back and lowers you to the ground. You both chuckle at the state of your appearance. “I think I have a towel in my bag, one sec.” He says while tucking himself back into his pants as you readjust your hair, trying to make the whole ’i just had sex’ look a little less obvious.
You’re still breathing heavily when he returns to wipe you clean.
“Mmm,” you hum in total satisfaction, and still a little out of it - if you had to be honest. “I should piss you off more often.”
He gives you a look, “Hurry up and get dressed before anyone sees you.”
You’re the one to smirk this time, “I thought you wanted people to see me?”
“Haha, very funny.”
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“Hurry up, you’re taking too long,” you whine while Jimin attempts to undo his stage pants as fast as he can.
“I’m trying,” he mutters, silently praying when his zipper finally works, “There we go.”
He lines himself up to you and pushes into your center.
You bite your lip to avoid making any noises as he stretches you out. The two of you are in the small storage closet behind the stage; there’s only about an hour or two until the opening night show starts.
Jimin thought you had to be joking at first when you whispered how badly you needed him after you both were dressed and ready to warm up with the rest of the dancers. But much to his delight, you weren’t kidding.
Hopefully, they won’t notice your absence. Who are you kidding, they probably know that you two are fucking. Plus, it’s kind of obvious when both lead roles go 'missing’ at the same time.
At first, he was torn between following you into the tight space–wanting to be in another tight space–and doing what he normally would call the right thing, which was preparing for tonight. But after seeing the look on your face, Jimin was quick to follow you into the closet.
“Shhh, you need to stay quiet,” Jimin grunts quietly with a hand over your mouth, silencing your moans.
You grip his shoulders as he quickens his pace, bringing you both over the edge.
“Holy fuck,” he quietly whines, the sensation of your inner walls clenching his length is addicting. It isn’t long after your sweet release that he’s quivering. He pulls out, knowing you can’t dance with his release filling you. He shudders one last time, his come shoots out and onto the wooden floor below.
You giggle, “Good thing we’re in a place that can clean that up.” you say referencing his load.
He rolls his eyes at your joke and leans in to give you a quick kiss, “You think you’re so funny, don’t you?”
“Yes, typically.”
You flatten out your costume and zip each other up, leaving the closet one at a time. You first of course, since you needed to touch up your makeup now. Leaving Jimin behind to clean up his mess.
About fifteen minutes later you meet Jimin backstage to practice, stretch, and chat along with everyone else. The jitters are bouncing off of everyone and you can’t stand still from excitement, a little nervousness too. But mostly excitement.
“Jimin, are you feeling okay? You look a little stiff and tired if I must say…” Madam Jamie mentions after watching him practice a few scenes.
“Nothing to worry about Madam, had a tiring warm-up is all. Not to worry though, I am more than ready for tonight.”
Madam Jamie reminds him how important rest and lots of water are when practicing hard before moving along to the next student.
“Hmmm, what is it that you usually tell me?” You begin, giving him a coy look, “Oh right. 'Just dance it off.’ That should fix your issue, correct?” You look down at his crotch, and back up at him with a twinkle in your eyes.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he says, daring you to go on.
“After our vigorous warmup, I’m sure you do. But we’re going on stage soon. So suck it up, sweetie.”
He can’t wait to make you regret that statement when he teases you later tonight. He had big plans to celebrate. And knowing you, you would love them.
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lexisecretaccx · 8 months ago
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Good little Girl - Matt Sturniolo
(Fem reader x Matt Sturniolo, smutty, use of nicknames, suggestive, kissing, oral fem!receiving, Dom!Matt, idk)
Summary: reader and Matt just hooked up but he doesn’t want it to be just a one time thing and she learns a secret about him…
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I stand off the bed and start to get back into my outfit, my mini skirt and tight shirt. “What are you doing?” He groans as he leans up on his elbows. I turn to him now standing just in my underwear, “I’m leaving, isn’t that what you do on a one night stand?” I ask continuing to pull up my skirt, he gets out of bed and walks towards me.
He grabs my hand that is pulling up my skirt and pulls into his chest, “I don’t want you to leave.” He spoke hardly and spun me around to face him, his hands trail down my shoulders, arms and onto my waist.
“But why..” his hand comes up and tugs on my bottom lip, he pulls me in closer, “please.. be a good girl.” He spoke softly in a tone that caused butterflies to erupt in my stomach.
“Okay.” I say quietly, and step out of the skirt I was previously putting on. He keeps my hand held and pulls me back to the bed “I can’t do it again, it was amazing but I’m all fucked out right now..” I breathe out as we sit on the bed, “no.. I want to lay with you.” He spoke as he pulled me on top of him to straddle him, his hand comes up the the side of my face.
“Did you think I only wanted to fuck you and never see you again?” He asks me his hands rest on my hips, I shrug. “You have security guards in your house and you live in a mansion.. I thought you’d only want a one night stand.” I say and I lay down on top of him, getting into a comfortable.
“Im sorry I gave you that impression, I’m not all bad.” His hand finds place on the back of my head. “What do you do.. for work? Because at the party you had a bodyguard looking guy next to you.” I ask as I pull the covers over me and him.
He sighs, “I can’t tell you that sweetheart.” I move off of him and look at him, “why not?” I say in an annoyed tone. “Fine.. but please be a good girl and listen to what I say, don’t be scared.” He sits up before pulling my face in and gently kissing my lips, “okay.” I nod.
“I’m not a good person, I hurt people.. not you of course but people who deserve it.” He breathes in, studying my face for my response. “What do you mean? You seem like a good guy to me.” I tilt my head at him. He chuckles, “I’m a good guy to you.. I wouldn’t hurt you but other people deserve it.” I watch his composure shift to that of nervousness.
“What other people?” I continue to question him. “People who owe me things.. and people who hurt my loved ones.” He studied my face for any sense of fear, instead my eyes widen in excitement.
“So you’re like a loan shark?” I speak excitedly, loving the rush of hooking up with someone with such authority. “Not exactly sweetheart,” he breathes in, “I have many aspects to my job but that’s not a major one.” He leaned into my ear to whisper something. “I’m Matthew.. Sturniolo.” That last name rang through my ears.
Sturniolo.. as in the Mafia bosses, people who run the town from behind the scenes, picking and plucking anyone they choose. There’s three of them, their names always kept hidden but as I recall from news arcticles they’re brothers.
“I hooked up with a Mafia guy?” I whisper the last part of the sentence, he nods and I stand up. “Oh my god, does that mean I’m your property now?” I say in panic but a still a slight hint of excitement, he’s a gorgeous man with a protected house and a stable sense of income, on the plus side if anyone fucks with me he will kill them.
I need to not think about what I could gain from being with him, that’s selfish. I lean against the wall, placing my hand in my hair, trying to figure out what I’ve just learnt about my ‘one night stand’ “No of course not, I don’t own you. Not unless..” he walks up to me and lifts my chin with his large hand, “you want me to?” He pulls my mouth in and our lips connect softly.
I hum into the kiss, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck, something about him just makes me melt.. he’s got this appeal, maybe it’s the nicknames or the fact he’s a mafia boss but I’m drawn to him.
He lifts me up from my thighs and holds me, this only deepens the kiss before I pull away to speak “I want you to own me, I want you to use me.. I think I just want you.” I whisper, lust filling my senses. “Be careful what you wish for darling.” He spoke as he threw me down onto the bed, causing me to yelp.
“Can you be my good little girl and do what I say?” He leans down smirking, I nod quickly. “Words.” He spoke. “Yes I will..” I reply, filled with excitement and my stamina feels refuelled just from his kiss and touch.
He removes my panties and unclasps my bra, before removing his underwear too, revealing the large cock that I, not long ago, had inside of me. This time I feel even more sexually attracted to him due to his power.
“Such a pretty pussy.” He spoke as he dipped down between my legs, before I could reply he started swirling his tongue around my already wet entrance. I moan out loudly, his tongue slips inside of my hole causing me to arch my back. “Fuck..” I squeal before looking down at him, staring up at me with a seductive look in his eyes.
He sucks on my clit softly, elicting whimpers and curses from my lips. I already feel myself clench due to the pleasure, “fuck I’m gonna cum..” I breathe out between moans.
He hums before dipping his tongue into my entrance again, his nose hitting my swollen bulb just right. My back arches further and I tangle my hands in his hair. My thighs close around his head as I feel my climax reaching closer. “F-fuck.” I scream out as I feel my arousal leaking out of my entrance onto his slightly bearded face.
He forces my thighs open, which are still shaking and lifts his head, my juices around his lips. “Taste yourself..” he swipes some arousal from off his lips, onto his fingers and pushes the fingers into my mouth. I swirl my tongue around his fingers before he removes them from my mouth. “Good girl.” He praises.
He pulls me closer to him before lining his tip up with my sensitive entrance, before giving me a chance to breathe he pushes into me harshly. I grip onto the sheets as he pounds into me roughly, maintaining eye contact. He pushes his forehead to mine, staring deeply into my eyes as he fucks into me. I bite my lip due to pleasure and a weird mix of pain, a good pain.
My core fuzzes again as he repeatedly hits my g-spot with his large member. “Fuck you feel so good around my cock.” He groans, I can’t reply as my eyes roll back into my head and the pleasure grows as I feel myself clench around him, causing his hips to jut forward. “Cum for me darling.” He breathes out, his forehead still pressed against mine.
His pupils dilate even further as both of our orgasms reach closer. “Fuck.” I yell out as I come undone, him following shortly, releasing his cum inside of me, as I had previously mentioned I was on the pill the first time we fucked.
He removes his cock from inside of my hole, leaving me feeling slightly empty. “I’m tired.” I whine. “Let’s sleep then.” He cleans me up and moves me under the blankets before sliding in next to me. “So what am I to you now then? I don’t wanna be a fuck doll or anything.” I lean into him.
“No of course you’re not a fuck doll.” He laughs before pulling me to face him and look him in the eyes.
“You’re my good little girl.” He smirks, “shut up.” I turn around pouting, “let me take you to dinner, I’ll show you what you are to me then.” He leans on my arm and brushes the hair out my face.
“Okay,” I sigh and smile slightly, “why me?” I ask and confusion fills his face. “Why did you pick me?” I ask again, he wraps his arms around me, “I could tell you were a genuine person. You were the only one at the party who wasn’t intimidated by me, you seemed innocent.” He smirks, “I was wrong about that.. you’re not so innocent.”
“I wasn’t intimidated because I didn’t know you were the mafia guy, I don’t even remember why I was invited to the party.” I shrug and nuzzle my head in to his chest, “I wanted you to come.” He whispers and I turn my head to face him quickly, “what?” I ask.
“I saw you, at the restaurant.. you were waiting a table and that big guy tried to intimidate you into giving him a discount and you argued back.. you weren’t scared of him, so I told my men to give you an invite to the party so I could get to know you better.” He looks at the ceiling above him, his arm still around me.
“The guy was tryna use his size to intimidate me.. I knew he wasn’t gonna do anything,�� I say and he looks at me to show he’s listening. “You definitely got to know me a lot better..” I chuckle, looking at us laying in the bed naked together.
“I just felt like I needed you, that man was one of my rivals.. he verbally abuses women and I hate it so seeing one of them fight back made me drawn to you.” He stroked the side of my face, “you have me now.” I smile.
He smirks back at me and nods, “let’s sleep.. I’ll show you around in the morning.” He spoke quietly as he turns down the light, “okay.” I breath out on his bare chest.
I start to doze off before I get woken up slightly by him, “I’m so proud of how well you took my dick.” He whispered in my ear.
“Such a good girl.” He coos in my ear, stroking my hair before we both fall back to sleep.
A/n: I wanted to write more one shots since I haven’t in a while! This was fun and refreshing to write. I love papi Matt. Mafia Matt though 😍😏 ALSO IM ALMOST AT 500 FOLLOWERS TY YALL ILYYYYYY❤️
Taglist: @blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @sturniologurl4l2008 @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosmind @fratbrochrisgf @sturniol0s @alwayssublimedelusion @stingerayyy2 @freshsturns @riasturns @sturniololvrrr @maryx2xx @whicked-hazlatwhore
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morganski-19 · 5 months ago
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Chills Right to the Marrow Part 20
part 1, prev part
Wayne’s not so sure how he can do this anymore. The bills are piling on themselves and it’s getting to the point where it’s challenging Everest. It was stupid to check the cost of his stay at the motel. It was stupid of him to be driving his car this much when he can just walk to the hospital each day. It’s only a little way down the road. It could have kept him from filling up his gas tank for another week.
It was stupid for him to do a lot of things, but here he is. Sitting in front of his notebook and splitting his paychecks up into pieces. Taking more out than he should to pay off the motel a little so the bill goes down. Knowing that he can always have a payment plan with the hospital. Take a loan out or something.
All because a house he’d always dreamed of moving into opened up. All because he, stupidly, wondered if he could make just enough to afford the down payment. The mortgage. And he probably could of, if he had somewhere to couch hop instead of paying for this room. If he asked for just a little bit of help. He could have stretched it just thin enough.
There were grants he could have applied to. People willing to donate money to those in need after the earthquake. Anything to give himself a raft to float on. But Wayne’s always been stubborn enough to try and build one on his own. Know he’s drowning because of it.
He does the thing he always did when needing to forget about the world. Burn through a few cigarettes and wish they were cans of beer. Maybe something a little stronger. Question the viability of his vices and his reliance on them to forget. All while trying to remember the point of all of this to begin with.
When the last one in the pack hits the stub, he crushes it into the ash tray. Trying to hold back the damn from breaking. To keep his tears where they need to stay. Inside with his fears. Even if he’s alone, in a room he’s struggling to afford. Even if he could really, truly break in the comfort of solitude.
And if he did, no one needed to know.
All he wanted was a home for Eddie to walk into after the hospital. A room that looked like his back in the trailer with band posters and books pooling of the shelves. Random little figurines and Knick knacks that were so priceless with meaning, but worthless other wise. The acoustic that Wayne saved up to buy, and the electric that Eddie took up dealing just to be able to think about affording.
All he wanted was to be a good father to his kid. To provide the most basic necessity. A safe home with food on the table. A space where Eddie could escape his problems and just be himself. Wayne couldn’t even provide that right now.
His boy was struggling to find himself again, while Wayne’s struggling to stand on two solid feet. He needed the home just as much as he wanted to provide it.
The next day, Wayne pulls himself to the hospital even though he just wants to sleep. Wants to listen to the pull in his back to just give himself the rest he needs. Knowing that he’s going to haul himself off to work and try to get in some overtime.
But here he is, sitting in the hospital room watching Eddie sleep. Just like he has been. The same damned cycle that doesn’t seem to end. Only improving slightly to provide a false sense of security.
It’s starting to get really predictable.
The seat next to him fills, Steve sitting next to him. “Hey. How’re you doing?”
Wayne doesn’t have the energy to lie or tell the truth. So he just shrugs. Steve huffs in agreement.
“Yeah, that tracks.”
They in silence until Wayne asks a question burning on his tongue. “How does it feel to look at a bill and know you can just pay it? Without having to take away from something else?”
“It doesn’t feel like anything,” Steve responds after pausing to think.
“That must be nice.”
“It was.”
Was. Wayne takes surprise to that. “I wouldn’t expect you to have to worry about stuff like that.”
A pained smile finds its way to Steve’s face. “There’s a lot of things you wouldn’t expect about me.”
Wayne doesn’t say anything, trying to give Steve the space should he decide to share more. A few weeks ago, Wayne would have probably lashed out at him. Thought that he was just looking for pity from someone who had nothing left to give. But he’s been more willing to listen. To see beyond his assumptions.
To let someone, he wouldn’t initially think of, let him know that this isn’t a problem only he deals with.
But instead, Steve goes back to silence. When he does speak again, it’s to pull the conversation back to Wayne. “Is something bothering you? Is that why you asked?”
Wayne grunts. Not believing he’s about to share money problems with the son of one of the richest men in Hawkins. Someone who grew up with every luxury there was. Not thinking about the other side for a second. But here he goes, sharing one of his deepest insecurities to open, listening ears.
“I’m just worrying about the bills starting to pile up, that’s all.”
“I’m sure that really stressful. At least Eddie’s hospital bills should be taken care of, that should give you some relief.”
The rest of the room becomes a stark silence. A rush of confusion coming to Wayne’s head. “What?”
“Has his bill not been taken care of?” Steve looks shocked, and angry.
“Not the last I checked.” Wayne starting to wonder if he’s even checked at all, or just went straight to assuming. With all the chaos, it was hard to keep track of the days. What he did in each of them.
Steve stands, rather abruptly. Swearing under his breath. “I’m going to go make a phone call. I’ll see you later.”
Wayne nods goodbye as Steve leaves the room. Glad he shared what he did, even if he was hesitant to. Now he might have a fighting chance to pay his debts. Now he might have a chance to get a house for his boy to go home to.
For himself to go home to. It’s enough hope to make him want to cry again.
Time passes at some undetermined speed. The minutes on the clock slowly ticking by. Creeping toward the time where Wayne has to leave to be able to get to work on time. Wondering if it’s worth it to head back and try to get some rest before he goes.
But he waits. Patiently waits for something to happen. For Eddie to open his eyes and remember him. Say something in his direction other than swears. Say something that he actually means.
It’s later in the afternoon when Eddie starts to stir. His eyes blink open and stare blankly at the ceiling. Realizing all at once that he’s stuck in this fate. Look so defeated while he tries to do something as simple as raise his head.
It’s like he’s back to being newly born and learning how to do things on his own. Anger and sadness being the most reliable emotions. Rampant frustration knowing that he’s capable of more, but just can’t.
Wayne steps in when Eddie grips the handrails and tries to pull himself into a sitting position. Places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder to stop him while he readjusts the bed. Making sure Eddie’s pillows are still comfortable.
Eddie leans deeply into the bed with a silent thank you in his eyes. Hands falling in his lap, gently twitching and starting to fidget. If Eddie was wearing his rings, he’d be spinning them around his fingers.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have a book or anything to read to you,” Wayne says to fill the silence. Not quite knowing what to say. “It’s just me today.”
Eddie stares at Wayne like he’s searching for something. Mixed with a knowing sadness behind it all. He knows what he did, Dustin said as much the other day. He’s starting to remember more and more. New and old pain coming back to him all at once.
It must be exhausting.
“That’s ok,” Eddie breathes. Barely a whisper. It’s the first thing he’s said to Wayne that he actually means.
“You just missed Steve,” Wayne says cautiously. “Still don’t fully understand how the two of you ended up hanging out over the break. Or became what I’m assuming is some level of friends. If what he says is true. But I guess people change right, otherwise he wouldn’t be givin’ you the time of day let alone visiting you this often. Turned out to be a nice kid.”
Wayne’s just talking to get some kind of reaction. Filling the space with nonsense just to be good company. So Eddie doesn’t feel so alone anymore.
“I’m doing ok,” he continues. Making sure that Eddie knows not to worry about him. “You know me, just working at the plant. Tryin’ to get some overtime. Like normal. I’ve been stayin’ at this motel down the road so I can be here if anything happens. Don’t have to drive across town.”
Eddie takes a deep breath. Mouth opening as words start to form. “I’m sorry.”
“For what, you did nothing wrong.”
Tears gloss over Eddie’s eyes. The pain releasing itself in the only way it knows how. “I ran. I’m sorry.”
Wayne sits on the edge of his seat, getting as close to the bed as possible. “Listen to me, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You were scared, you ran, we all do. I don’t care what happened in that week. I don’t care what happened yesterday, or the day before. What matters now is that you’re here, and you’re getting better. That’s all that matters to me.”
“But,” Eddie chokes. Breathing in deep. “I yelled at you. I’m sorry.”
“You were scared. You’re in pain. I know you didn’t mean it. It’s ok. I didn’t go through all of your teenage years without getting screamed at, I know how to take it.”
“I want to go home,” Eddie says, voice breaking.
Wayne wants so much to be able to give him that. Wants to lie and tell him it’s waiting for him. But Eddie’s going through enough already, he doesn’t need the lies. The truth might not be the nicest to hear, but it’s better than the feeling of a revealed lie. Wayne didn’t need to add anything to Eddie’s pain.
“Yeah, I do too.”
They sit in silence until Wayne has to go to work. Stands from the chair and wishes his back would just act like twenty years ago again. Says his goodbye to Eddie and makes his way out the door.
“Love you, Wayne,” Eddie says to him before stepping outside of the room.
Wayne turns back to look at Eddie practically falling asleep again. “Love you, too, Eddie. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
note: a little earlier this week cause I'm going on vacation. chapter now posted on my ao3 as well.
next part
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headspace-hotel · 2 years ago
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So I'm absolutely not an expert on the subject, and this post is just a bunch of thoughts I've been turning over in my head a lot, but: on the subject of Industrial Agriculture, the Earth's carrying capacity, and agroforestry
Writings from people who propose policy changes to secure the future of Earth treat energy use by organisms in (what seems to me like) the most infuriatingly presumptive, simplistic terms and I don't know why or what's wrong or what I'm missing here.
Humans have to use some share of the solar energy that reaches Earth to continue existing.
The first problem is when writers appear to assume that our current use of solar energy via the agricultural system (we grow plants that turns the light into food.) already is maximally efficient.
The second problem is when writers see land as having one "use" that excludes all other uses, including by other organisms.
The way i see it, the thing is, we learned how to farm from natural environments. Plant communities and farms are doing the same thing, capturing energy from the Sun and creating biomass, right? The idea of farming is to make it so that as much as possible of that biomass is stuff that can be human food.
So instead of examining the most efficient crops or even the most efficient agricultural systems, I think we need to examine the most efficient natural ecosystems and how they do it.
What I'm saying is...in agricultural systems where a sunbeam can hit bare dirt instead of a leaf, that's inefficiency. In agricultural systems where the nutrients in dead plant matter are eroded away instead of building the soil, that's inefficiency. Industrial agriculture is hemorrhaging inefficiency. And it's not only that, it's that industrial agriculture causes topsoil to become degraded, which is basically gaining today's productivity by taking out a loan from the future.
I first started thinking about this with lawns: a big problem with monocultures is ultimately that they occupy a single niche.
In the wild, plant communities form layers of plants that occupy different niches in space. So in a forest you have your canopy, your understory, your forest floor with herbaceous plants, and you have mosses and epiphytes, and basically if any sunbeams aren't soaked up by the big guys in the canopy, they're likely to land on SOME leaf or other.
Monocultures like lawns are so damn hard to sustain because they're like a restaurant with one guy in it and 20 empty tables, and every table is loaded with delicious food. And right outside the restaurant is a whole crowd of hungry people.
Once the restaurant is at capacity and every table is full, people will stop coming in because there's no room. But as long as there's lots of room and lots of food, people will pour in!
So a sunny lawn has lots of food (sunlight) and lots of room (the soil and the air above the soil can fit a whole forest's worth of plant material). So nature is just bombing that space with aggressive weeds non-stop trying to fill those niches.
A monoculture corn field has a lot of the same problems. It could theoretically fit more plants, if those plants slotted into a niche that the corn didn't. Native Americans clear across the North American continent had the Three Sisters as part of their agricultural strategy—you've got corn, beans, and squash, and the squash fits the "understory" niche, and the corn provides a vertical support for the beans.
We dump so many herbicides on our monocultures. That's a symptom of inefficient use of the Sun, really. If the energy is going to plants we can't eat instead of plants we can, that's a major inefficiency.
But killing the weeds doesn't fully close up that inefficiency. It improves it, but ultimately, it's not like 100% of the energy the weeds would be using gets turned into food instead. It's just a hole, because the monoculture can't fulfill identical niches to the weeds.
The solution—the simple, brilliant solution that, to me, is starting to appear common throughout human agricultural history—is to eat the weeds too.
Dandelions are a common, aggressive weed. They're also an edible food crop.
In the USA, various species of Amaranth are our worst agricultural weeds. They were also the staple food crop that fed empires in Mesoamerica.
Purslane? Edible. Crabgrass? Edible.
A while back I noticed a correlation in the types of plants that don't form mycorrhizal associations. Pokeweed, purslane, amaranth—WEEDS. This makes perfect sense, because weeds are disaster species that pop up in disturbed soil, and disturbed soil isn't going to have much of a mycorrhizal network.
But, you know what else is non-mycorrhizal? Brassicas—ie the plant that humans bred into like 12 different vegetables including broccoli and brussels sprouts.
My hypothesis is that these guys were part of a Weed Recruitment Event wherein a common agricultural weed got domesticated into a secondary food crop. I bet the same thing happened with Amaranth. I bet—and this is my crazy theory here—I bet a lot of plants were domesticated not so much based on their use as food, but based on their willingness to grow in the agricultural fields that were being used for other crops.
So, Agroforestry.
Agroforestry has the potential for efficiency because it's closer to a more efficient and "complete" plant community.
People keep telling me, "Food forests are nowhere near as efficient as industrial agriculture, only industrial agriculture can feed the world!" and like. Sure, if you look at a forest, take stock of what things in it can be eaten, and tally up the calories as compared to a corn field (though the amount of edible stuff in a forest is way higher than you think).
But I think it's stupid to act like a Roundup-soaked corn field in Kansas amounts to the pinnacle of possible achievement in terms of agricultural productivity. It's a monoculture, it's hard to maintain and wasteful and leaves a lot of niches empty, and it's destroying the topsoil upon which we will depend for life in the future.
I think it's stupid to act like we can guess at what the most efficient possible food-producing system is. The people that came before us didn't spend thousands of years bioengineering near-inedible plants into staple food crops via just waiting for mutations to show up so that we, possessing actual ability to alter genes in a targeted way, could invent some kind of bullshit number for the carrying capacity of Earth based on the productive capability of a monoculture corn field
Like, do you ever think about how insane domestication is? it's like if Shakespeare's plays were written by generation after generation of people who gave a bunch of monkeys typewriters and spent every day of their lives combing through the output for something worth keeping.
"How do we feed the human race" is a PAINFULLY solvable problem. The real issue is greed, politics, and capitalism...
...lucky for us, plants don't know what those things are.
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uzumaki-rebellion · 9 days ago
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"Ice Princess"
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Ice Princess by Uzumaki Rebellion
Pairing: Erik "Killmonger" Stevens x Black Female OC
Warning(s): 18+, Explicit Sex, Murder, Mayhem, Blood, Violence, Action/Adventure, Thriller, All Dat Good Shit. Grown Folks Only.
Summary:
Portia Keith has it all. A rich boyfriend. An impressive sugar baby allowance. Shopping trips around the world on private jets and more. Every day is spent living in the lap of luxury. For a special holiday trip, her boyfriend gifts her with a private yacht cruise on the Aegean Sea to ring in the New Year with friends.
In order to keep the wealthy party-goers safe, private security is hired to protect the good times, and the spoiled diva encounters the gruff ex-Special Ops soldier, Erik Killmonger, who has no time to coddle a spoiled, coolheaded socialite. Chaos erupts when the yacht is hijacked by ruthless modern-day pirates, and Portia has to learn to leave her Ice Princess ways behind in order for Killmonger to get her back on land... alive.
Word count: 22.5K
"I'm so cold I'm dripping icicles
I go and take your man that nigga might miss you
Spent his whole commission on my neck and ear
To stand around me need to have ya winter gear
Pay me coats and benz's and that berg-ice
That's why I do not feel these bitches, frostbite
Grown money, ever since a youngin' made my own money
You broke honey, and they call me
Banks, cause I can loan money
Colder than December, my diamonds on
Anna WintourSo that's fly ice in my life"
Azealia Banks – "Ice Princess"
Erik Killmonger nearly turned down the job.
Floating around some Greek islands in and around the Aegean Sea for a week babysitting some rich bitches was not his dream gig. Some guns for hire might enjoy the laid-back assignment full of sunshine and sparkling azure waters, but he learned enough over the years that working for wealthy pampered civilians was a pain in the ass. They treated security like servant extensions, and he was not interested in an environment like that. He was accustomed to covert jobs that kept his blood pumping and his mind sharp. There were long-term goals that required him to be with a different mix around the Middle East and real action.
But his homeboy Clark wanted to keep the contract with James Quinton, the multi-millionaire from Silicon Valley who pioneered new bleeding-edge technology in computer processing. For about seven years, he had been a celebrated tech wiz, one of the few Black men successfully cashing out of the grind hustle culture. Killmonger kept up with the man's accomplishments and compared them with his own. As a graduate of M.I.T. and a certified genius with MENSA, the secret Wakandan prince would've probably become another James Quinton himself if his life hadn't been disrupted by trauma and loss. The chips fell where they did, and Killmonger bided his time searching for Ulysses Klaue and working as expensive hired security. Clark nagged at him.
"Man, I'm stretched thin. They want discretion and the best. That's you. I know you were supposed to start leave for a week to recuperate from that Lagos job, but there's some sketchy action happening around the Mediterranean, and your Navy SEAL experience is needed… just in case," Clark said on a satellite call.
Killmonger sat in his closet-sized studio that acted as a storage locker for his gear instead of a home. Constantly on the go, and on the grind, he listened to Clark reclining in his Lazy-Boy chair with a glass tumbler of prime whiskey in his hand.
"You'll ring the New Year in a beautiful atmosphere. Relaxed and peaceful. The bonus holiday pay is great. Please, I need this contract fulfilled. This man knows a lot of billionaires and I could use the referrals… new contacts. Plus, you're good-looking," Clark continued.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Killmonger said, sipping on his drink.
"Look over the file I sent you online. It gives details about the yacht you'll be protecting, and also the rest of the clientele."
"That still ain't got nothing to do with my looks," Killmonger grumbled.
"Pretty girls like good-looking men. That's all I'm saying. You might get lucky compared to the other goons I got," Clark said.
Killmonger closed his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. The studio apartment felt cramped and joyless.
"I'll throw in another bonus for the short notice," Clark insisted.
"How many people onboard?"
"It's a private New Year's party, eight guests, and the yacht staff of four. You'll have your own cabin. You'll lead everything with Sherman and Banks working under you. Giving you the best—"
"Just three men?"
Killmonger lifted his laptop from a small table next to his chair. He logged onto his dark web email account and scrolled images of the yacht. Looking at the dimensions and pictures, Killmonger put down his glass.
"I need at least three more men."
"I can pull at least one more for you—"
"Gotta have five total under me to make this work, especially with us going to a new hot spot."
"The Greek government and the Turkish government have been doing extra sea patrols. James Quinton hasn't mentioned going anywhere for the holidays and I urged him to place his social media engagement on pause for the week until they end their holiday. It'll be a vacation for you. In fact, you could just supervise and chill."
Killmonger knocked back the rest of his liquor.
"Okay, I'll do it. Get me five men."
He hung up and checked the files of James Quinton on his own cryptic software. Quinton liked to stunt his wealth. The man posted photos and corny quotes at least ten times a day on all of his social media platforms. It was the ones with his girlfriend that worried Killmonger.
Portia Keith.
Online, she was known as the Ice Princess. Her beauty and personality were so cold that she had a reputation for being a femme fatale with a rich man's wallet. She had been linked to a few celebrities in the past but had moved her pampered ways to men with deeper and consistent pockets. She rarely spoke in public and showed up to haute couture fashion shows all across the globe. Killmonger couldn't figure out exactly what she did to make men clamor for her and pop culture gossip blogs to want to follow her daily jaunts as a sugar baby with James Quinton.
He stared at a few pictures.
Ma definitely had a face card that would never decline. Medium height, a medium copper brown complexion that turned a pretty darker hue in the sun. Body looked all natural and not the cringy build-a-bitch looks women paid top dollar for. Portia had tits and a nice ass that matched her thighs. She liked provocative looks and expensive things. Quinton gave her everything and baby girl wasn't denied anything according to the photos he peeped on her platforms. There was a crew of girlfriends she jaunted around with, and in every picture, Portia was the center of attention. The face of a model on par with Naomi Campbell, and the body of a vixen bent on destroying hearts and dicks. She stayed dripped in diamonds every day from head to toe. Most men couldn't afford her and several tried to keep her until Quinton snatched her up with the bank account that kept her flaunting her beauty and body.
That face, though? Killmonger couldn't stop staring at it. Her eyes were cool dark windows that gave away nothing. The kind of eyes that cut niggas down if they weren't on point. Her round nose was slightly upturned in a natural haughtiness, but her lips were the deadliest weapons in her arsenal. Killmonger's lips parted as he licked his canine slugs that matched the bottom ones made of pure gold. Portia's lips looked like they could make a dick cry if she sucked on it. Her nickname fit the vibe she gave off, and he wondered what Quinton had besides money to keep that sophisticated sugar baby close.
Killmonger checked the gossip sites and scrolled pages and pages of rumors that Portia and Quinton were having issues and possibly on the outs. He guessed the private New Year's trip was Quinton's way of keeping her, especially with the gossipmongers bubbling with sightings of her having lunch with an Italian billionaire.
Killmonger poured himself a fresh drink, then checked flight schedules on Delta Airlines.
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Portia Keith pouted all the way to Greece on her boyfriend's private Gulfstream jet. Scrolling her social media feeds while holding her apricot-colored Pomeranian Mimi, she fumed at the gossip page listing her and Quinton on a site that criticized the super-rich for ruining the climate with their wasteful private flights and hoarding of resources. Her bestie Jodie patted her thigh and told her to ignore the haters.
One thing Portia always did was cultivate a scandal-free reputation. She prided herself on being a carefree Black woman leading a luxury movement for other Black women that had them raising their standards against unqualified men. Accused of only promoting hypergamy and a sugar baby lifestyle, she let people talk their shit because it only brought luxury brands her way courting her favors to use and promote their goods for free. Her exquisite face launched products like no other, and the quiet mystique she crafted with razor precision could not tolerate slander with her image. It wasn't her jet. It was Quinton's. Rich people had to protect themselves and taking commercial airlines with the poors was so… gauche. Especially for bad bitches like herself. The income brackets she played in were fifty million and above, and the low bar of fifty million was just being polite. Not bad for a country girl with tidewater roots and access to an excellent finishing school that prepped her for the lifestyle she led.
Portia left Charleston, South Carolina, with a finance degree from Clemson University and never looked back. Landing a job working under the Director of Finance and Operations for Conde Nast, she labored around the folks who ran Vogue Magazine. A chance encounter during New York Fashion Week launched her new career as a pampered princess. The paparazzi snapped a candid shot of her walking near Anna Wintour wearing a layered sable Balenciaga romper. They both wore the same dark Chanel sunglasses, and a fashion mag begged the question, "Who wore it better?" Before his passing, André Leon Talley exalted her style sense and overnight, Portia became the new "It" girl, the mysterious fashionista who was too short to be a model, but too glamorous to be a simple finance department worker.
She jumped on the parasocial relationship with the New York fashion scene and made sure she appeared at big events. Using a lame-ass rapper who liked to rock oversized ice, she taught him how to dress better, and spent his money on a better investment… her. She put him on to better fashion, better food, and better jewelry. It helped broaden his brand and snag a movie role. She bounced from him to a Hollywood Executive who flaunted her at Oscar parties and she kept her mouth shut and her eyes wide open for new marks. Stacking other people's paper and collecting custom diamond jewelry that became her signature trademark was a lofty career in her early twenties. Portia was nearing the end of her roaring twenties and she had to upgrade her prospects to older men with healthy long-term portfolios. Hollywood and celebrity wealth were fleeting, often feast and famine. New prospects were needed and her finance education led her to San Francisco and tech Daddies. The trade-offs were dull, less attractive men, but fatter pockets.
Then Quinton appeared on a Forbes magazine cover.
Dollar signs flashed in her eyes. She called in favors to get invited to a tech gala and projected her icy exterior onto a man who was rich and above average. New money cleaned him up, but her looks, nimble fingers, and optimum sex magic snagged her a baller on the rise. If she drank enough liquor and squinted her eyes just so, he could almost pass as a poor man's skinny Trevante Rhodes. But that squint had to be hard and the liquor extra strong.
She glanced over at Quinton.
He bored her now.
Quinton was thirty, only four years older than her, but he acted like he was fifty, worrying about his declining fortune all the time. He got caught up in some bad cryptocurrency deals and took a hit on some poor stock market advice. The man pretended that everything was okay financially, but Portia could smell the oncoming of poverty one hundred miles away. Yet she still ran his pockets one last time with the trip she wanted for herself and her girls. She had a couple of boyfriend replacements already on deck and planned to jump ship after the New Year. Broke didn't look good on her and she wasn't built for struggle love or struggle pockets. A baddie always had a graceful contingency exit plan. She sighed loud enough for Quinton to notice her restlessness. Her gaze glossed over his hairline, which was beating a hasty retreat to the back of his neck. What had once been a full head of cropped waves had turned into phantom follicles that gave up on him faster than she did. He had aged so quickly in the two years she'd been with him that she could mistake him for his own father nowadays. Pity. Portia thought she'd stay with him for at least a few more years to see if he could stack his paper higher past the eighty million he was worth when she met him. Alas, that was not to be.
Quinton put down the computer tablet he had his nose buried in and clasped her hand. His eyes were already bloodshot from drinking and anxiousness. Things were probably going downhill faster.
"We're about to land, baby. Have patience," he said.
Her girlfriends giggled and drank martinis behind them. Portia ran a diamond-studded finger up his arm. Mimi whined on her lap.
"Will you give me anything special for New Year's Day?" she purred.
Quinton grinned.
"I have a lot planned for you," he winked.
At least he was going out with a bang, she thought. He was spoiling her one last time, unbeknownst to him. A part of her wondered if she should feel pity for milking him dry until he went belly up. It was the nature of the game, and he knew fully that to keep a woman like her, he had to keep his coins up. She kissed his cheek and her stomach dropped. They were descending.
Their landing was swift, and they were all transported to a launch dock where Quinton's brand-new custom yacht waited for them on tranquil turquoise waters. Seeing the ship, Portia couldn't help but get excited and jump about like a kid with her friends as she held Mimi in her personalized pink Fendi doggy purse. Quinton's three male friends ogled the women through their sheer beach cover-ups. Their teeny-weeny bikinis left little to the lascivious imagination. Portia patted her designer cornrows studded with pink diamond hair jewelry that matched Mimi's pink diamond collar. The ends of her jeweled braids extended past her back, and she flung her natural hair around and waited to board the yacht.
A staff member waited on the main deck of the ship with a tray of mixed drinks in a crisp eggshell white maritime uniform of a starched shirt and knee-length shorts. Portia grabbed the first glass and her gaze drifted over to the tall Black man wearing a hot as hell black military uniform holding a colt commando automatic weapon. His glossy locs framed a gruff, bearded face with a scowl on his thick lips.
"Ohmigod, Quinton. Is this really necessary? Mood killer," Portia complained.
She released Mimi to run around and handed her purse to another crew member. Quinton shook the security's hand. Scoping the yacht, Portia saw five more similar men spread behind the first one.
"Killmonger, correct?" Quinton said.
"Correct," Killmonger said.
"Just Killmonger?" Portia asked.
"Just Killmonger," he answered in a rough tone.
Quinton turned to all of his guests as they mingled and admired the surrounding luxury. The five other security team members dispersed to their stations. Only Killmonger remained. Quinton held out his hands to show off his big, shiny toy.
"As I told all of you, we'll be completely protected. I know there have been rumblings of issues in this region, but I hired some serious security. Enjoy yourselves! Wander around for a bit and they will place your luggage in your cabins. Lunch in an hour!" Quinton said.
"Hold up," Killmonger said.
Everyone stopped chatting and froze with their refreshing drinks.
"We need to go over a safety drill," Killmonger said.
Quinton glanced at his watch.
"Now? Can it wait until after lunch?"
"No," Killmonger said.
"Where would you like us to be?" Quinton asked.
"Head to the stern, please," Killmonger said, pointing to the back of the yacht.
The others headed in that direction. Portia sauntered past him in the opposite direction.
"I'm going to settle in," she said, rolling her eyes.
Killmonger snatched up her arm so quickly that it knocked the breath out of her. She didn't know a human could move that fast. He held her close to his chest as his other hand gripped his weapon.
"See, you're the type of woman who makes the job difficult by being a brat," he snapped.
"You can't talk to me like that!" she hissed, trying to jerk her arm away. It was like fighting an immobile mountain.
"I'm here to protect your good time. We practice drills for a reason."
She exhaled hard when she noticed his teeth. Sharp gold canine slugs on his top and bottom teeth.
"I could have my man sue you for assault," she bitched.
"Do it," he said.
Portia blinked fast several times.
"Do you know who James Quinton is? He could ruin you!" she bellowed, squirming in his grip.
"I'm here to make sure you rich people don't get bothered. I'm the best at that and I'd appreciate your cooperation with the safety drill. It'll only take twenty minutes of your precious spoiled time," he barked.
"Portia?"
Her friend Chelsea called for her.
Killmonger released her arm, and Portia looked up into his face. Narrow, heated eyes peered down at her.
"Let's go, princess," he said, swaggering past her and slinging his weapon over his shoulder.
Portia stared at his wide back and clenched her teeth. She threw her martini glass over the side of the yacht in anger and balled up her fists. Prepared to raise hell with Quinton over the manhandling, she huffed under her breath in anger and stomped her Gucci slides when Killmonger glanced back at her and… smiled, flashing those gold slugs.
Portia halted her steps. The fuck was he smiling at?
And why was she getting aroused by it?
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She was a piece of work.
Killmonger knew from jump that Portia would be a problem needing an attitude adjustment. He checked her real quick the moment she mouthed off about not following safety rules that had to be enforced in case of an emergency. She gave him a glacial stare during his short introductory speech on how the trip would run among the security team, and he took them down the stairs that led to a sunbathing deck. There was an emergency escape door that led to an eleven meters long military rigid hull inflatable boat under the yacht that could hold three crew and eight passengers. It had an M60 7.62mm machine gun, an MK19 40mm, and an M2 .50 cal. machine gun armament attached to it. The boat could do forty knots with six in-line cylinder diesel engines. It was an extreme weather craft and Killmonger made them all jump inside of it to get a feel of how they would ride it in case of an emergency exit. He pointed out life vests and showed them the scuba gear his men had available to check for underwater threats.
Once Portia realized they were the real deal, she fixed her face to look less bitchy and bothered. Killmonger was concise and professional and he impressed all the guests with his background and training. He spoke to his team to go over work shifts, breaks, and overnight watch duty. Taking the first shift watch on the main deck, he kept his guard up while the yacht started its adventure away from the Greek port and out into the open sea. The captain of the ship introduced himself and his staff after lunch and their first port of call was Athens, and then they would head to Crete. They would spend the rest of their time tooling around on the open sea and shooting off fireworks on New Year's Eve.
The women wasted no time throwing off their bikini covers and rushing over to sunbathe topless on cushy recliners. An annoying little dog ran around barking and finally jumped on Portia's thighs to sleep until it got too hot and it hid under her chair. He didn't mind watching the sea with binoculars and occasionally looking down at tits. They weren't shy about showing them, so he would not pretend he didn't notice. Quinton and his male buddies grabbed a bottle of top-shelf bourbon and headed to the other side of the yacht to smoke cigars on padded deck chairs. They were torn up by dinner, and by then, he was done with his work shift and free to relax and eat a meal in his cabin. A private chef brought him moussaka and white wine for dinner and galaktoboureko for dessert. It filled him up, and he took a quick shower afterward, then rested on his bed.
The party crowd became raucous and rowdy the later it became, and he changed into light linen pants and a cotton shirt to join them and check in with the night shift team. Music blared from speakers on the starboard side and he eased around to observe and also check out the night waters. The yacht had spotlights that surrounded the bottom of the boat, so there was a beautiful glow to the calm aquamarine water. The rest of the ship was lit up too, which concerned Killmonger. Nothing like advertising a luxury yacht filled with rich people. He was correct in requesting five men to work with him. They had various firearms, rocket-propelled grenades, and enough ammo to start a war at sea if needed. He relaxed after talking to the two men on shift. All was well.
He went for a stroll around the upper decks while the civilians headed down to the lower deck to spread out for cocktails on the main deck. A cool breeze blew past and ruffled his locs. He closed his eyes and faced it fully, luxuriating in the sensation.
"Oh… so you can look normal."
Killmonger opened his eyes and found Portia and one of her friends sitting on white barrel chairs with their legs kicked up on an olive green ottoman. She wore a short pumpkin-colored shift dress and her skin looked amazing from being in the sun all day. Playing with the hem of her extra short dress, he admired the elaborate diamond chips that decorated her long fingernails. She stayed adorned, and he appreciated the effort she took to look feminine and soft. Portia's friend looked cute in a short polka-dotted sun dress. Her hair was lifted in a high ponytail of cascading auburn curls that fell down over her slender shoulder.
He took the open seat next to the friend with a short table between them. There was a half-empty glass of red wine and a fresh unopened bottle next to it with a cork opener conveniently placed on top of it if she needed more.
"I can dress down when I'm not working," he said.
She smiled. The wine had relaxed her and she appeared less uptight. Crossing a seductive leg, he glimpsed her sexy thighs. She didn't have any panties on, and her mound was clean-shaven. He glanced away to pretend he saw nothing, but the smirk on her face told him she meant for him to see her pussy.
"Why aren't you two down with the others?" he asked.
"Needed a break. When you're always the life of the party like me, you need a little time off. Plus, they're talking about work and stocks. Tiana and I are not interested."
"That's so snoozefest," Tiana said, her light skin splotchy with sunburn marks.
"Your other friends seem intrigued by it."
"Those heffas?" Portia snorted. "They just want to appear interested to get attention. Carlos is worth half a billion. Ben two billion. Oh, and that loud mouth you hear right now? That's Stieg. He's a Scandinavian trust fund baby worth five billion. My girls are here to party with me, but make no mistake, they're fishing for a big fish of their own to catch up with me. They're bored out of their minds, but…."
Portia rubbed her fingers together to indicate cash. She stood up and walked down the stairs, leaving Killmonger with Tiana. He sat in silence for a moment before standing up to leave.
"You sure you'll be okay up here by yourself?" he asked, glancing over at the balcony.
Tiana looked heavily inebriated.
"I can hold my liquor," Tiana said.
"Alright then, I'll leave you to your bottle and privacy—"
He glanced over the railing and watched Portia saunter to the front of the yacht. For someone who stayed rude to him while he was on shift, her lax behavior at night intrigued him. Showing off her pussy had to be an amusing game to her. Killmonger liked what he saw and slid his wet tongue across a gold fang.
The rest of his rounds were completed, and he gave one of his men a twenty-minute smoke break starboard side once the guests had turned in to sleep. He took over the watch temporarily and cast his glances out toward the tranquility of the sea. Heavy breathing brought forth curiosity, and he strolled down to a lower deck to investigate.
Portia was on her back naked, legs spread wide as Quinton exerted desperate dick strokes inside of her.
"You're so good, baby. Yes, that's it," Portia said with lukewarm enthusiasm.
Her eyes faced the sea, and she offered no effort to reciprocate affections or even movement as her man pounded her. The detachment on her expressionless face bothered Killmonger. Quinton gave her the world and she couldn't be bothered to give some passion? Even if it was a fake? A true pillow princess, Portia laid there with minimal effort to even wiggle her hips. She managed to push her breasts together and jiggle them, but she refused to look at Quinton's face. The man stared at the fat titties and pumped his way to a sad orgasm. When he collapsed on top of Portia, she took her expensive nails and raked them on the back of his neck and cooed phony words of praise. A smug look painted her face.
Killmonger gripped the railing, and a surge of anger sparked inside of him. He wanted to wipe that petty smirk off Portia's face. He knew fully well that her relationship with Quinton was a transactional one based on the rules of patriarchy. Men bought women as commodities and arm candy all the time. Killmonger knew what the game was, and Ma played it like the pro she appeared to be. However, it irked him that Quinton didn't fuck the shit out of her and make Portia earn all of her riches from him.
Quinton rolled off of her on the wide sectional couch and pulled off the condom that sheathed his average-sized dick. He balled it up and tossed it onto the table next to them. Within seconds, he was fast asleep, and Portia rested her head on a throw pillow. Her eyes squinted in surprise when she noticed Killmonger looking down at them. She slid a finger to her pussy lips, teasing Killmonger by opening her legs wider so he could see all the wet pink of her succulent entrance. His lips twisted up and there was a tightening in his pants. She traced a finger in a wide circle around her folds, then licked her fingers, dropping them onto her nipples to tweak the tips. He gripped the front of his pants to adjust his dick, thinking of all the ways he would fold her body if he had the chance to teach her a lesson about teasing a nigga like him. Her writhing body was doing all the things she should've been doing for Quinton if she hadn't been a lazy fuck. Portia dipped her fingers inside of her pussy and pursed her lush lips as she watched his face grow more aroused watching her display of ridiculous seduction right next to her snoring boyfriend. But he couldn't look away. Her fingers spun magic as they played in her slick folds. She flicked her clit and widened her legs for him until she raised her arm up and flipped him off with a moist finger. Portia cackled and clutched at her stomach, delighted at her teasing. She grabbed the shift dress she had on earlier and put it on, leaving Quinton behind by himself on the sectional. Tossing the used condom in the sea with the flick of a diamond nail, her laughter floated up to Killmonger as she headed to her cabin.
"Bitch," he grumbled.
She had him going, toying with him by using her physical blessings against him long enough to tell him to fuck off. Portia wanted to play cat and mouse, thinking he was the silly little mouse. Little did she know she had a vicious panther on her hands.
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They docked in Crete at the crack of dawn.
Killmonger had two of his team stay behind to watch the yacht, and the others dressed in civilian clothing to blend in and trail the women who went shopping and out for lunch with the billionaires and Quinton. The blistering heat didn't let up. He wiped the back of his neck and under his chin several times while tracking Quinton. Portia stayed on the yacht to sleep in late. Her man seemed to find his balls again when he wasn't around her. The passive energy disappeared, and he took on a personality with bravado, impressing Tiana, who laughed at his corny jokes. Their lunch break was long and Killmonger took time to smoke a cigar near an open market. He played tourist watching the surrounding activity, checking the time on his watch constantly, and checking in with the yacht.
In his peripheral he caught Quinton slinking out of the high-end restaurant and entering the luxury hotel next to it. Killmonger stayed put hidden behind a marble statue of Athena, keeping his steady gaze on his client. Quinton checked his surroundings before dashing into the hotel. Killmonger entered the hotel and discreetly shielded his body from the other tourists. Moments later, Tiana walked into the lobby and headed toward Quinton. The tech wiz grabbed Tiana's hand and they entered an elevator together. Killmonger grinned and left the hotel.
The pillow princess's man was getting better pussy elsewhere with her bestie. Killmonger shook his head and checked on the people milling around the hotel lobby. He stayed put until the illicit couple came back down the elevator twenty-five minutes later, fixing their rumpled clothes to look presentable again.
"Quick ass," Killmonger mumbled, sticking a piece of gum in his mouth to chase away the taste of cigar on his tongue.
The trip back to the yacht was uneventful an hour later, and Portia's girlfriends carried plenty of gift bags to commemorate their visit. Portia stood on the top deck with a martini glass in her hand wearing an alabaster knit bikini. A giant floppy sun hat shaded her face. She pranced around on her chunky platforms, waiting for her friends to share their bounty with her.
"Fuck," Killmonger uttered, staring up at her.
Her body was insane. The bikini top only covered her nipples, and the bottoms barely shielded her vulva. He licked his lips again, staring at how fat her pussy looked up there. Tiana was nothing compared to Portia, but Killmonger knew that a lot of beautiful women had trash box and men fucked with women who made them feel good. Looks had nothing to do with keeping a man in the long run. Plenty of mid-looking and ugly women had snatched away prizes from bombshells. Perhaps Portia needed a man with good dick to turn her out correctly. There was no way all that body was going to waste because some rich dude couldn't handle her spunk.
Portia caught him checking her out, and she leaned over the railing to eye him back. Killmonger sauntered to his cabin to change back into his serious work clothes. He checked in with the mercs left behind on duty and all reports were good. The ship's captain updated him with a weather report and soon they were back out at sea for the rest of the trip.
Quinton and Portia threw a costume-themed dinner party and everyone wore Mardi Gras masks and sipped champagne before devouring salty caviar, Kobe steak, and lobsters. The yacht staff hustled to please, but Portia became a bitch when things didn't go as smoothly as she wanted. She reamed one female server so badly for stepping on her dog Mimi by accident that the woman slunk away in tears. Quinton said nothing about the bullying and everyone else was too drunk to comment on anything. Portia snapped at two mercs while moving into their next party area for charades and Killmonger had enough of the poor attitude. When Portia went for a restroom break in her cabin, he followed her. She caught him waiting for her in the narrow hall.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
Her icy tone and polar stare made him want to flip her around and spank her ass like an insolent child being reprimanded by a fed-up parent.
"You need to check your tone with the staff and my men. These people are working hard—"
"Shut the fuck up, you simpin' bitch," she said.
Portia lifted the Mardi Gras mask onto her forehead and glared at him. Her little cat woman bikini costume showed off every curve, and he became distracted for a second by the veracity of her tone and demeanor. No woman had ever tried to come for him like that, especially one who didn't know him from Adam. Her breath smelled like the expensive French wine she had drank all night, and he considered her drunken state before speaking. He leaned in, and Portia leaned back until she was jammed against her cabin door. Killmonger bared his teeth at her and she acted as if he had snarled like a beast. Her eyes darted toward the stairs that led to the top deck, expecting someone to rescue her.
"Treat people who cater to you with respect. They don't get paid enough to take your verbal abuse," he demanded.
She looked away from his heated glare and gold canines. He caught the subtle tremble in her body, but then she turned her face back to him and smirked.
"Those people are paid well and competed to get this job—"
"You ain't paying 'em," he said.
"My man is. His money is my money—"
"You sure about him being your man?"
Her eyes narrowed and her lips curled into a tight grimace. Killmonger decided to blow up her spot and teach the brat a lesson. Every bully needed to be humbled in their life. There was no better time than the present for her.
Portia put a hand on her hip and waited for him to run his mouth some more.
"He had a little quickie with your homegirl Tiana at a hotel while everyone was having lunch."
He cocked his head and waited for the explosion and waterworks to begin. Portia stared at him hard, then started cackling.
"Think I'm joking? I followed them there," he said.
Portia snorted and grabbed her stomach to control her laughter. He waited for her to notice that he was serious. She patted his chest with her right hand and he rolled his eyes with impatience.
"The look on your face right now… as if you got me with something!" she heckled.
Portia wiped her almond eyes and touched her chest. Her diamond nails glittered and that cool exterior returned in full effect.
"I sent that bitch there myself," Portia said.
Killmonger's brow wrinkled, and Portia gave him a little twisted lip pout. Then she grinned.
"Aw, I'm sorry boo boo. You really thought this was a gotcha moment. Ever hear of keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer? Tiana is a free-loading cunt… yeah, I said cunt like the white girls do. She's not my homegirl, just competition who has been trying to be me from day one. I let that heffa into my inner circle to keep her on a leash. Quinton is going broke and all of this…?"
She waved her hand above her head.
"All of this shit is about to disappear soon, so to teach her a lesson about coming for what I got, I'm letting her have that limp dick brokie. She thinks she's on the come-up sneaking around with him, but I fed her fake bread crumbs to that nigga. Lied, and told her we were having relationship problems, and that I was worried that he wanted someone else. That little worker hoe really thinks she's better than the queen bee. I stayed on the yacht on purpose so she could make her move on him. Now she knows shiny things aren't always diamonds with that weak peen. In her mind, she thinks she has him and his money. The reality is, she's with a broke faker. Checkmate, bitch."
Portia guffawed and pointed to Killmonger's face.
"I respect you for trying to break my heart to humble me, but you can't play a player," she said.
She shoved him out of her way and strutted up the stairs, tooting her ass out so he could see it jiggle as she walked. Stopping halfway, she looked back at him.
"I'll act nicer with the staff just to make you feel better," she said.
Killmonger chuckled and shook his head. Baby girl was cold-blooded. Respect. He eased his big body up the steps and did quick surveillance all around the ship. Portia acted better with the servers, but she was still icy with the other mercs.
The next few days were dull and humid.
Boredom set in with the women, as the men only drank, ate, and slept for hours on end. Killmonger observed how Portia maneuvered around Tiana. Deadly sweet. It was like watching a scorpion slowly poison a frog as it rode the weaker creature's back. The shine of being with Quinton wore off Tiana, and he caught her brushing off the advances of her secret lover when they thought no one else saw them around the yacht. Portia knew everything that went on between them, orchestrating their dismal affair right under the noses of everyone present.
New Year's Eve rolled around and the trip was nearly over. He had to admit that the assignment wasn't as troublesome as he thought it would be. Quinton hired a fireworks crew to meet them on a separate boat at a rendezvous point in the middle of the ocean. Killmonger sent his mercs over to check out the other smaller ship with metal detectors, heat sensor devices, and a thorough inspection of the crew while he scuba-dived under the boat to sweep for explosives and hidden weapons. They inspected the fireworks being used, too. When one of his team helped him out of the water, he pulled off his scuba gear, and Portia watched him undress. Her eyes grew enormous when his scars came into view. The shiny lumpy brown flesh decorated him with a deadly artistic beauty, displaying every life he had taken in his line of work. He walked across the deck, dripping in seawater and muscles. A hunger grew in her aroused eyes to see more under the wetsuit.
"All safe," he said, whisking past her, carrying his air tanks to a rack.
He took his time pulling off the rest of his wetsuit, shaking his thighs, and grabbing his dick through his tight trunks to adjust the weight there.
Quinton walked over, clapping his hands together.
"All good?" Quinton asked.
"You can have your show tonight," Killmonger said.
Portia flounced away, shaking those ass cheeks, and his dick jumped in his trunks. The last few days she'd been a lot more suggestive with her behavior toward him, teasing him with flirty glances, and tugging on her swimwear suggestively in front of him that had Killmonger undressing her in his mind at night. He jerked off on his bed after taking a shower from scuba diving, imagining himself bending her over a railing and spanking her ass, rubbing his dick tip against her while she glanced back at him with those spoiled eyes and luscious, pouty lips. She needed to be punished. Needed to be on her knees and sucking his dick. If she complained about his length choking her, he would slap her and train her to show some respect for the gift of having his length stretch her mouth.
His erection was harder than steel and he kept playing an image of her begging forgiveness for being such a bitch. Killmonger wanted to cum all over her face and mess up that illusion of perfection she had about herself. Knowing what he did about her for nearly a week, he already understood that she would try to break his resolve and manhood down to control him. She needed a strong Daddy to put her right, and the thought of her sucking his balls while she stared at him with insolent eyes sent him over the edge, and ribbons of hot cum shot all over his hand and midsection. His dick was still hard as he beat it again, thinking of her pussy contracting all over his erection. She just had a way about her that made him want to tame her. Break her down. Force her to submit and sit that plump ass on his face.
He rolled over, groaning into his pillow, angry that she had reduced him to playing with himself when he was supposed to be overseeing his men. Cleaning up quickly, he went topside to check on the action above. Quinton and his guests had all retired for late afternoon naps to prepare for the evening's festivities. A fancy seven-course Mediterranean meal was planned for the New Year's celebration and they invited all the mercs to join in the fun with their shifts.
Portia wore her alabaster bikini again with a coral beach wrap skirt. Diamond earrings decorated her ears and a huge blue diamond necklace sat on her neck worth more than Killmonger made in a year legally. She toned down her make-up, going for a natural look, and the switch-up was extraordinary. It softened her face more, and she became even more beautiful.
Killmonger ate his fill of the gourmet food and allowed himself one glass of champagne before changing shifts with another merc. He kept his dark clothes on and strolled alone along the uppermost deck. The ship captain ate from a plate and Erik glanced over at the fireworks ship. He lifted the work binoculars from his chest and stepped back outside to observe the water and sky. No moon. Just stars stretched across the heavens, sparkling the jewels all over Portia.
The fireworks show started at eleven-thirty for a slow countdown to midnight. Killmonger positioned himself on the deck overlooking the stern. Below him, the rich guests gathered with more champagne and small desserts to watch the show. It was spectacular. Fireworks had never impressed him before, but he found himself looking at the sophisticated light show over the sea. Dazzling shapes and styles of explosives brought a magical ambiance all around them. Portia squealed and clapped her hands like a child, often pushing her face against Quinton's shoulder whenever an explosive boomed too loud and scared her. She looked cute while enjoying herself and Killmonger wondered why she couldn't be like that all the time. A certain type of sweetness exuded from her, as if she had put away that mask of cool she always wore, just to be a regular woman having a good time.
A server approached Killmonger with a tray of champagne.
"Why not?" Killmonger said, lifting a glass.
He drank it down and kept his eye on Portia, enjoying the fireworks.
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Portia gulped down another glass of champagne and watched a firework turn into a rose in the sky. She clapped and oohed and ahhed to her heart's content. It was a beautiful way to end a relationship. A part of her actually felt a little bad about dumping Quinton after the trip. He would find someone new with a lower income bracket, hopefully, someone who loved him for who he was and not his wallet. The poor schlep was the type of dude who used money to buy his way into the quality of woman he wanted, which was not who he needed. Perhaps if Portia had remained a small-town girl working finance at a bank or small business in her old hometown, Quinton would've been deemed, in her mind, the catch of a lifetime. Alas, that was not the ocean current she rolled in. His ego was big, and he felt entitled to beautiful women simply because he had a dick and some money. Cultivating a personality, hobbies, or real solid friendships was not in his wheelhouse. Trophy girlfriends would never bring him happiness.
The champagne bubbles in her flute tickled her nose. She glanced over at Tiana who looked seasick from too much liquor in her system. Maybe there was some hope for Quinton being with her enemy. Everyone deserved love.
Portia was about to go check on Mimi in her cabin before it hit midnight. She gave the Pomeranian a doggy sedative to keep her from anxiety with all the fireworks noise, and she worried her fur baby would be frightened without checking in with her. The crackle of a spectacularly loud firework drew her attention to the sky again. A chain of enormous fiery lights popped off, and she glanced at her dainty Patek Philippe watch. It wasn't midnight yet for any kind of grand finale. Unless something bigger was about to erupt in the sky after that volley of bright multi-colored lights. She clapped and heard a loud popping sound.
"Did a firework not go off?" she asked.
Her girlfriends shrugged before a gigantic explosion rocked the bow of the ship that was not part of the show. The yacht lurched, and Portia fell to her knees off-balance with her platform heels. Smoke and flames filled her shocked eyes. Everyone nervously headed toward the front to see what the hell happened and more popping sounds commenced from behind them. Tiana fell on top of her with Carlos. Portia's two other friends shrieked and ran, cut down by a hail of bullets through their backs. Portia pushed the limp and bloody woman off of her legs and shoved Carlos away too. The man's eyes looked up at her with a lifeless stare, and Portia screamed. She stayed on her hands and knees to keep low while looking up toward the higher decks. Killmonger had a modified M249 up and shot toward the sea targets. The fireworks ship exploded into a reddish-orange fireball, blazing the night sky with more flames and thick smoke. Parts of that ship flew over onto the deck of the yacht. One of Killmonger's men shot a grenade launcher from his weapon, aiming for some enemy Portia couldn't see on the dark water.
"Portia! Stay down!" Killmonger called out to her.
She did what he said and hid under Carlos and Tiana again, trying not to lose it as their warm blood dripped all down her legs and pooled at her feet. She swiped some of the cooling blood from her limbs and wiped it all over her throat to make herself look injured and played dead on the deck. Quinton ran toward the side of the yacht, and Portia wanted to follow, but the volley of intense bullets whizzed over her head. She covered her face, hearing loud splashes of water and yelling. The mercs around her scuffled with people who had climbed aboard. A powerful arm lifted her up by her waist.
"You been hit?" Killmonger asked.
"No!"
A merc near Killmonger took a shot between the eyes and dropped in front of her.
"Let's go!" Killmonger yelled, helping a server go with them.
The attackers cut the server down in mid-step and Portia realized with horror that all the guests except for her and Quinton were in a dead bloody heap all across the deck. She only lucked out because two bodies fell on her, shielding her from becoming human Swiss cheese. Another of Killmonger's team ran past them to fight, giving cover. Killmonger led her to the secret emergency door that held the military boat.
"Wait! I have to get Mimi!" she yelped.
"Fuck that dog!" Killmonger yelled.
Portia pushed back on the tears that welled up in her eyes. Her poor baby was locked inside her little travel kennel. She'd die all alone in her crate without her Mommy. The yacht tipped to the side, knocked by another explosive. Killmonger helped her into the emergency boat and made her put on a life vest.
"Wait here," he said.
"Don't leave me!" she shrieked, clutching his free hand with desperate fingers.
"I have to check for other survivors on the yacht's crew."
Her heart thudded in her chest so fast it made her gasp for air. She sat inside the boat and grabbed one of the gray emergency blankets and pulled it around her, hiding down low in the boat in case an armed pirate burst in. Portia was small enough to look like a lumpy seat. The odor of smoke crept down to where she was, and after some time, she worried Killmonger was dead. She wanted to wait another ten minutes for him, and then figure out a way to get the boat out onto the water by herself before the entire yacht sank into the sea.
It became hard to breathe under the blanket. She made a little breathing space for herself where she could still be covered up, but the smoke from the fires above seeped down to where she was. The sounds of shooting had stopped. Silence took over, and she debated about going out to see if the pirates had left. Time kept ticking, and the boat listed. Adrenaline had kept her going. But now the tears flowed.
The emergency door burst open, and Portia held her breath and stayed perfectly still. Mimi's woozy and weak bark yapped for her. She threw off the blanket and Killmonger was there, carrying Mimi's travel kennel and a backpack. He handed Portia the dog and tossed the backpack on the boat. Pressing a few buttons on a side wall of the yacht, a release ramp opened and slid down toward the water. He pushed the boat more, and it slid easily with a quiet splash. The yacht leaned further over and they would have to hurry to avoid being sucked down with it.
Killmonger untied ropes that secured the boat to the off-ramp. His face was full of concentration and determination to get them out of there. He put the safety on his weapon and leaned over to drop it in the boat when a masked man wearing dark clothing similar to Killmonger's uniform charged him, jamming his AK-47 under his throat and choking him.
Killmonger flipped the man over onto his back, punched him once and whipped out a Glock from his waist, and blasted the man's forehead. Blood and brain matter splattered, and Portia was too shocked to scream. Killmonger leaped into the boat and started the quiet motor, guiding them away from the yacht. She watched the burning luxury boat slowly sink as they bounced across the water. The pirate boat that attacked them sat on the other side and she thanked God there was no moon because the flames from both ships burning distracted their attackers from seeing them. Portia closed her eyes and let the cool sea breeze dry the sweat of fear all over her. The further away they were, the safer she felt. Her breathing returned to normal once the yacht and the surrounding madness became a tiny shiny speck on the horizon.
Killmonger checked some guidance apps on his military watch computer and took them toward some uninhabited Greek island chains. After about forty minutes, they hid their getaway boat on a small rocky isle inside an island littoral cave that made Killmonger feel secure staying there until he could contact help. Waves had eroded away an opening in the limestone, creating a sea cave that hid and protected them from the elements. He stuck a small headlamp on his head, giving them the only light source to look around. Killmonger handed her one too, and she placed it around her forehead. He dragged the boat once they hit soft sand. The cavern was dark and warm, like a womb. There were flares and a bulky charged satellite phone on the boat.
"I'll use the phone tomorrow and shoot off a flare for rescue when it's safe. We may have to stay out here a few days," he said.
"A few days? Why that long?" she said.
"That was a coordinated attack. They'll be looking for survivors all night and tomorrow. They knew exactly how many people were on that yacht, and you and I are no longer there. It was a hit… on everyone," he said. "There's also a storm moving in and that will hinder rescue efforts."
"Maybe they'll think we drowned and just go," she reasoned.
"They will sweep for floating bodies. Trust me."
He stopped and looked at her hard. She had opened Mimi's crate and held her frightened dog on her lap.
"Portia… Quinton set this whole thing up. I saw and heard him talking with the hit squad when I grabbed Mimi. He left with them on the attack boat."
Portia shook her head.
"No… that's not true… Quinton's a tech guy. He doesn't know pirates and shit…"
"He's going to disappear like he's dead, too. Collect on all the insurance he had on everyone there and that yacht. You told me he was going broke. He fixed his financial problem by getting money for you, your friends, and his billionaire buddies. The men he hired are going to make sure you and I are dead, so we don't snitch on what really happened."
Portia looked down at Mimi and felt the blood rush to her head like she was going to pass out.
"I can't believe this. He killed all those people to save his ass financially."
Killmonger pulled out a cold bottle of water from the backpack he brought and handed it to her.
"Can we last for three days out here?" she asked.
He nodded and showed her a wide variety of goods stored on the boat.
"There's enough food on her for several days that could last a week if needed. Since there are only two of us, we can eat as much as we want and stretch it out if we have to. We have fresh water… blankets. Toilet paper, sunblock, bug spray. We're good. Just have to keep hidden from the clean-up crew."
Killmonger sounded confident, and Portia inhaled deeply. He saved her life and would protect her on their…
New home. She looked around the boat again. There was plenty of room on one end for them both to stretch out and rest. The weapons attached to the hull could thwart a small army. Portia sipped a little water, gave some to Mimi with a cupped hand, then placed the dog back in her kennel. She prayed her fur baby didn't bark after the sedative wore off completely.
Killmonger made soft pallets of extra blankets for them to sleep on while she turned off her light and stepped out of the boat. She walked back to the water. After rinsing the blood off of her body and shoes, she returned to him, and they both stretched out in opposite directions. She felt him move around on his end. Lifting to see what he was doing, she caught him taking off his uniform. He stripped down to his black boxer briefs and huddled back up under his covers. Portia changed positions and crawled to his end when her body spasmed. She rested against his back, spooning him to capture some of his warmth, hoping the shaking in her limbs would stop. Her body moved with uncontrollable, jerky movements and she felt cold. Killmonger faced her quickly and put his arms around her.
"What's happening to me? My arms and legs keep shaking," she whispered.
"You're going through adrenaline withdrawal. Shit was crazy that you went through, and your body was all keyed up for action. It's trying to get back to equilibrium."
"How do you seem so calm? Shouldn't you be shaking too?"
"I'm used to it. Don't worry. It won't last long."
He opened up his blanket to her, and she eased her face against his wide chest. The keloid scars were smooth and slippery-feeling against her skin. His heartbeat was a steady drumming to her ears. Her shallow breathing eventually evened out to match his, and she could rest calmly next to him. The scent of his skin had a soothing musk odor, some cologne mixed with his own sweat, giving off an intoxicating smell. He adjusted his body to give her more room, and she closed her eyes to sleep.
Waking up hours later, she opened her eyes to see him looking down at her with the softest brown eyes. For the entire yacht trip, he always wore a scowl on his face with narrow cruel eyes that held disdain for her. Now… she looked at another man completely. A roar of water drew her attention back toward the opening of the cave. The light pastel colors of dawn greeted them with shades of turquoise and honey yellow bleeding into a blood-orange tapestry. The rising tide rolled in, gently pushing their boat against the sand, rocking their bodies like a mother's hand tending to a cradle. Killmonger had the boat fastened to a stake that he pounded into the sand to keep them from floating out into the sea while they slept.
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Sitting up, she admired the view. The clear, tranquil water sparkled as the sun rose higher and the colors in the sky changed into new brighter hues. It took Portia's breath away, bringing tears to her eyes. The rust color of the cave's roof seemed to glow. In the distance, she noticed other island chain formations that probably never had a human walk on them. She wondered if the awe she felt was the same awe that God had when the heavens and the earth were made complete. The scene before her looked like a painting. She spent most of her life drinking, partying all night, burning through rich men's money, and sleeping hungover until noon. When had she ever witnessed a sunrise like the one spread before her sober eyes? What a way to enter a new year.
Porta laid her head back down and noticed that her bikini top had fallen off in her sleep. She was topless in front of him. Throwing an arm over her chest, she glanced around for her knitted top.
"Don't trip," he said with a grin.
He reached above his head and handed her a small container of grape juice. She took it and drank down the sweetness.
"Hungry?" he asked.
She shook her head no, the fruit juice helping revive her blood sugar. Pushing the blanket away from her lower body, she luxuriated in the balmy comfort of the air. Tilting her head back, she noticed an opening at the top of the cave that dropped a beam of early morning light on her face. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting the inside of her lids turn red from the sun bathing her more. A calloused finger stroked down the side of her cheek. Portia's eyes popped back open as Killmonger dragged his index finger against her skin. She lifted a finger and traced one of his keloid scars across his right pec. He was her hero. During the shootout and explosions, he had his eyes on her, making sure she was safe.
Killmonger dropped his head down and kissed her. She could taste toothpaste and fruit juice on his tongue. A static sound interrupted their joining, and he pulled away from her to pick up the satellite phone. He spoke in a rushed tone, giving coordinates and relaying a warning about the attack and Quinton's hand in it. There was a personal locator beacon with a strong GPS tracker he was going to keep on so they could find them. She closed her eyes and rested her head on her hands, letting Killmonger deal with everything. Soon after, he shut the phone off to save the battery. Turning to her, he stretched his arms and sighed.
"It's going to take time to reach us. The storm is sitting over Crete and moving slowly. Rough waves."
"But they are coming?" she asked.
"Yes."
Portia fell onto her back and stared up at the cave roof with relief. People knew where they were and would find them.
"I want to eat now," she said.
Killmonger pulled out MRE packages and small disposable plates. She dumped out a packet of southwest beef with black beans and tortillas. There was a chocolate banana nut muffin and apple slices mixed in a spice sauce, a cheese spread, and peanut butter. Portia made herself a burrito, and the food gave her the calories and energy she needed. Killmonger made them coffee over a small propane stove he put together and joined her with his own meal.
"Not bad," she said, stuffing the muffin in her mouth.
"We can have a white meat chicken salad with crackers and pasta for lunch," he said.
She wolfed down her burrito and wiped her lips. Finishing quickly, she let Mimi out of her cage and fed her from the packs of fancy dog food stored inside the kennel with her. She let the dog run around in the cave's interior to relieve herself. Mimi stayed away from the water and occupied her attention quietly by digging holes all in the back of the cave. Looking around, Portia was happy to see there was nothing inside the small cave with them except sand and the tiny beach made by the water lapping inside gently. Killmonger pulled out a large tan camouflage netting.
"Step out. Grab your top," he said.
Portia stunned herself by noticing she had stayed topless the entire time eating. She tied her titties up and draped her wrap skirt around her neck into a dress. She slipped on her platforms and picked up Mimi. Killmonger covered the boat up with the netting, blending it into the background of tan sand.
"Put the dog in its kennel so we can look around and I can plant this tracker up high," he said.
"She'll bark," she said.
Killmonger rolled his eyes.
"Then carry her," he said.
He pulled on his pants, and she eyed the bulge at his crotch. His flaccid state was bigger than Quinton's erect state. Portia checked herself for thinking sexy thoughts in their dire situation.
Dire?
It wasn't, really. They had all they needed and good people were coming for them. He placed several water bottles, a Glock, the satellite phone, and the beacon locator, inside a small pack and slung it around his shoulders. She followed him out of the cave, stepping on vast rock formations on the side to keep from getting her platforms wet. Climbing up the side of a hill, they made their way through brush and mostly barren land. There weren't very many trees and the ones that existed were small, or dead, and had fallen over. She kicked a few on the ground and they crumbled from contact, drier than the heat cooking their skin. Killmonger was already a shade darker, and it looked good on him. His biceps were beefy and darker brown. Her own dark skin took on a red tinge with her rich color. At a glance, they looked like tourists ambling about looking for t-shirts to buy for back home, not shipwrecked targets for death.
"Ow!"
Portia tripped on some sand and eroding rocks, bumping into Killmonger and almost knocking him over.
"Watch it," he barked.
"Sorry! I wasn't trying to bump into you—"
"Take those ridiculous shoes off so you can walk better—"
"It's too hot."
"No, it's not—"
"Yes, it is—"
They fussed like an old married couple all the way to the highest point of the island. He stuck the tracker in the ground and checked to make sure it was working properly. Gazing out at the sea around them, Killmonger lifted binoculars from his chest and peered out further.
"See anything?"
"No."
"That's a good sign, right?" she asked.
Portia put Mimi down so the dog could sniff around and urinate. Mimi happily sniffed and marked territory. When she padded over too close to a drop, Porta scooped her back up. There didn't seem to be any wildlife at all.
"Do you think there are a lot of snakes on this island?"
"Maybe. I haven't seen much scat or midden left behind," he said, searching the sea with the binoculars.
"What's that?"
"Scat is animal shit, and midden is their refuse… the food they've nibbled on and left behind. I only spotted some anthills and one bird so far. Not much to sustain a lot of snakes."
He glanced over at her.
"Just walk hard. Your vibration will scare them off. Keep that rat dog in sight, though."
"She's a Pomeranian."
"Looks like a rat dressed in a hot ass fur coat."
Portia looked at her baby. Mimi did pant. She grabbed a water bottle from Killmonger's pack and poured some on the dog.
"Whatchu doin'?! That's for drinking," Killmonger scolded.
"She's hot. I don't want her to get sunstroke."
He held his hand outstretched.
"We're surrounded by cool seawater. Dunk her rat ass in that. Stop wasting what we need to survive!"
Portia pouted.
"I wasn't thinking about that. I just wanted to help her."
"Let me do all the thinking then…" he grumbled.
They explored more, trekking around the entire island in under an hour. She dunked Mimi in a pool of water that came up from a natural aquifer of fresh water near the cave entrance. Killmonger grumbled again, so she walked her dog into the seawater and cooled them both off. He shut his mouth when she removed her beach wrap and frolicked with Mimi until a small wave knocked her poor pooch over. She walked out of the water dripping with her diamonds glittering, making her look like a Black Venus rising to the mortal world. He licked his thick lips, and she shuddered at the thought of that mouth on her body. Killmonger was bossy and so easily annoyed by her. However, he was also attracted to her and Portia played into that whenever he gave a tired sigh with her antics spoiling her fur baby. She made a little condo property for Mimi with her dog kennel. Moving it far back in the cave, she gave the dog a bowl of water and dried dog food with space to call her own to keep away from Killmonger. She decorated the front of the crate with pretty rocks and shells she collected and doted on her little one until Mimi fell asleep, farting from all the snack treats Portia gave her to help with the stress of a new environment.
He checked in with the rescue team on the phone and made them lunch. She sensed he felt more relaxed after finding fresh water on the island that they could use if they needed to. They ate in silence together, sitting on the sand and staring at the water. To be stranded on an island with a trained killer wasn't such an awful experience. Underneath the rough exterior was a man who held her hand to help her move around the island, and who also made sure she was hydrated. He pointed out natural formations of some of the island's geography around them and double-checked for snakes as they stepped over fallen trees. She gripped his arm when they moved into questionable areas, and at one point, she slipped her hand into his as he guided her back down toward the cave.
She took a nap on the sand and woke up to a crackling fire. Killmonger had gathered wood and dried brush, making a cozy glow that couldn't be seen from the narrow opening of the cave from the outside. They watched a new sliver of moon rise and a blanket of blue-black sky rest over the island for the night. She grinned and nibbled on chocolate chip cookies, humming and rocking on her backside as she ate. He laughed at her.
"What?" she said
"You look like a little kid on a girl scout campfire trip," he teased.
"Funny, because I used to be a girl scout."
"A girl scout… and you didn't know what scat and midden were?"
"I must've missed that part. I just looked good in the uniform," she said.
He smiled, and the bright, genuine light it brought to his face made him even more handsome. Killmonger was fine, no doubt, but there was something else deep within him that made him even more attractive. She thought of the way he lifted her up with one arm, shooting with the other as he rushed her to safety. His eyes always slid over to hers, even before the attack, when they were floating in tranquility. Portia had teased him sexually, doing things to get a rise out of him. It had started as a dismissive act, letting him see what he would never have in life, and it changed into active taunting, daring him to step up to the challenge so she could smack him down and belittle his audacity to think he was ever on her level.
Sitting in a cave with a peaceful campfire, her gaze on him brought clarity. She had been attracted to him the moment he put her in check on their first meeting. People always did what she wanted, and he had been the first man to push back on her attitude. She picked at him every time he showed up in her face.
"Penny for your thoughts," he said.
"You couldn't afford my thoughts," she said in a playful tone.
He smirked, then added more wood to the fire. Her eyes drifted up to watch the smoke go through the hole in the high roof.
"You think they're done looking for us? Should we even have a fire with the smoke floating… they could see it."
"By now, they should think we're dead. They never saw us leave on the boat and the yacht is at the bottom of the ocean by now, so they can't even check to see about the emergency escape, even if Quinton mentioned it. I won't have this going for long," he said.
"I like it," she said, holding her hands and feet up, warming her fingers and toes.
They didn't need the extra warmth. The cave was already cozy, but it brought comfort to their predicament.
"I'll sleep out here tonight and keep watch," he said. "I'll have to hike around a bit too, to check in other directions from the top."
She looked around for a blanket or pallet on the sand. There was nothing to lie on. Perhaps his soldier ways let him sleep cross-legged and upright. Her eyes became drowsy. Standing and stretching, she stared out at sea, admiring the sizeable chunk of island rock that faced across from their private paradise.
"I thought a storm was coming," she said.
"It is. Can't you feel the temperature drop? The sky is changing too. Won't hit until later tonight, and it won't be as bad out here. The sheer rock of that island over there is shielding us, and the tide doesn't get very high in here. We're good," he said.
She nodded.
"Night," she called.
"Night," he said.
She checked on Mimi, then snuggled inside the boat with the blankets. Killmonger went and grabbed the solar lights that he sat out in the sun all day and brought into the cave, jamming them down in the sand near the boat. He even posted two by Mimi's kennel because Portia told him the dog was nervous about being in the dark. Her mind tried to stay positive. She wondered how bad the storm could be if the hole at the top of the roof flooded with rainwater. Killmonger didn't appear concerned, so she let the thought drop.
After an hour, a soft splash of water forced her to lift and see what the noise was. Mimi hated water, so there were no worries there. Portia spotted Killmonger on the far side of the cave, splashing his naked feet into the liquid heaven.
"Lord," she whispered into her own mouth, watching him.
He was totally nude and moved his body with an assured grace that made him look like Poseidon returning to the sea. She could not stop staring at his taut glutes and powerful thighs. His keloid scars were all over his back, too. Killmonger walked in waist-deep before dunking his head underwater and wetting his locs. He ran a hand over his hair and shook them, stretching his arms out wide, traveling deeper into the sea until she could only see his head. Going under a few times, he moved closer to shore, and she noticed the small bottle of liquid soap in his hand. He washed all over, rubbing his muscles, and cleaning between his toes and elsewhere. Rinsing off, he dropped the bottle of soap on the sand for later and put on his pants without his boxer briefs. He padded back over to the dying fire and stopped when he saw Mimi sitting near his previous seat.
"Getcho ass back in that kennel," he ordered.
Mimi only sat and stared at him.
He sat down next to the pampered pooch and placed Mimi on his lap. Portia giggled and hid under the blankets.
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Smoke and flashes of a blazing fire blinded her eyes. The shouts of fear and the odor of fresh blood grounded her back on the yacht. She had moved so slowly. Champagne and the thrill of fireworks put her in a loopy mood and the horror of the attack froze her and probably saved her life. Tiana and Carlos ran and Portia stood there like a statue, her mind trying to fathom what was wrong with the scenario before she was tackled by the running dead and free-falling onto her back.
"No!"
Portia shot up inside the boat, her heart jackhammering in her chest. Her throat clogged with a scream as she relived the attack. Staring at her shaking hands in front of her face, she expected to see blood and brain matter again as another scream ripped from her lips.
"Hey, it's okay… shhh… it's only a nightmare…"
Killmonger jumped into the boat with her and the fading dream had her beating his chest thinking he was an attacker. The lucidity made her claw at his face and he pulled her into his chest, rocking her, cooing soft words into her ear to bring her back to reality and the safety of the cave. Mimi whined behind her and the sound of the dog snapped her to the present. She fell apart then, wailing into Killmonger's chest, her mouth wide open and unable to close as if the terror she endured would crawl out of her throat. Quinton tried to kill her. Her body could've been at the bottom of the sea becoming fish food and no one would know the truth of what he did to her or all of their so-called friends. Portia moaned and jammed a hand against her mouth.
"You're good, Portia. I'm here and we're okay. Just a bad dream…"
She looked up at his face, then wrapped her arms around his neck. He leaned back in the boat, letting her rest on top of him. He stroked her spine and his rough hands on her bare skin brought her back from the brink of totally losing all control of her emotions. She wiped her eyes and covered her face, weeping quietly against him.
"I was waiting for this. Some people take longer to process what happened to them. You tried your best to act like you were okay all day," he whispered.
Her breath shuddered as his soothing voice and hands brought her into a calm state.
"I was so scared," she said.
"I know."
"It was so fast and… I couldn't move…"
"You did well considering all that was happening at one time… even wiped blood on yourself to fool them. That's thinking on your toes, Ma. Most people just scream and holler, then get caught up in the shock. You ran and did what you had to do."
"Thank you for saving me," she whispered.
"That was my job."
His fingers dragged up and down her spine, making her skin feel tingly and warm. She crawled off of him and snuggled into his side, hiding her face in his chest. Portia enjoyed being there. It felt comfortable and safe. He stroked her arms and tried to leave her side to return to his post, but she gripped his arm and pulled him back next to her.
"Don't go," she said.
A soft sprinkle of rain fell on the water. The storm had arrived. The pleasant patter of droplets striking the sea eased her mind and body. Her nightmare faded, easily forgotten, while cozied up against him.
"Try to sleep," he said.
Killmonger rested his head on the makeshift pillow his work jacket made and she stared into his eyes. The solar lights gave her a soft ambiance to look at him with.
"By tomorrow evening, they should be near enough where I can shoot a flare so they can pick us up. Hang on to that thought," he said.
She nodded into his shoulder and released a final shudder that loosened all the tension in her body. Absent-mindedly, she rubbed her fingers across the top of his naked chest, feeling the slick contours of his keloids against the pads of her fingertips. Tracing her fingers under his neck, she took a bold step and ran her finger across his full lips. Raising herself higher, Portia kissed him, enjoying the sensation of warm plush fullness outlining her own plump softness. His lips smothered hers as he took over the kissing. She expected a feral roughness with him, but he was buttery soft and so gentle with her mouth. Even his large tongue surprised her with how seductively slow it was exploring the inside of her mouth. Their kisses were languid and so unrushed that she could almost fool herself into thinking that they had been lovers in some other past life together. There was no clumsy fumbling newness as their tongues sought an understanding of their changed physical relationship.
She tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth, and he smiled. He kissed his own trail down her face and onto her neck where he buried those sharp gold teeth and nibbled on her throat, shooting sparks of pleasure down to her toes and back. Groaning out loud, she delighted in his fingers pinching her nipples through her bikini top. She untied it and freed her breasts. His hand palmed their fullness, and she glanced down at his crotch. His dick tented his pants. She helped unfasten them, releasing his erection. It was a hot, rigid thing in her hand and his head fell back, allowing a deep groan to release from his mouth.
"Stroke that shit," he huffed into her neck while untying the bottom of her bikini himself.
She moved over as he wiggled out of his pants and gasped when she saw his dick and balls together. Her pussy throbbed while looking at the heft and length. Pre-cum pearled at his tip and ran down the sides and she helped slicken that big dick in a hurry, eliciting more guttural moans from him. She liked the pleasurable sounds falling from his lips and squeezed her fingers around the bulbous tip. The hole there opened wider and clear fluid drizzled onto the gap of her thumb and index finger.
"Fuck, baby," he gasped when she twisted and tugged under the ridge.
His fingers found her clit and her pussy wasted no time becoming slick and wet, her folds opening up for him like a blooming rose. He stared between her legs, licked his lips, and flashed those gold slugs. She lost control of the tremors making her body weak for him. Slick sounds met his fingers, and he played with her pussy lips until she was begging for him to do more.
"Play with your pussy. Lemme see you do what you did on the boat when you were teasing me," he huffed.
Her diamond-crusted fingernails made her pussy so pretty for him. She could see his arousal grow in his glassy eyes. She rubbed her clit, then held her folds open. He licked his fingers and stuck them in her mouth. She sucked on them, showing him everything she could do for his dick. He closed his eyes and his lips parted. Panting, he played in her mouth. His big dick twitched and jumped against her thigh, spewing more pre-cum.
"Lemme play in this pussy," he begged.
She opened her legs, and he inserted two fingers inside of her opening, gently testing the limits of what she could take. Portia whimpered when he started tapping on the sides of her walls, flicking his fingers back and forth like a butterfly fluttering away. He knew how to stimulate pussy. Killmonger wasn't rough or jerky with his movements either. He watched her face to read what she could handle from him and kissed her often, slow and steady, binding Portia to him like he was kissing a magic spell into her mouth, conjuring more pleasure from the nerves that woke up all over her writhing body. He fingered her pussy and sucked on her nipples, turning her body into mush that the sea could wash away with the tide.
"Listen to that pussy… fuck… I knew this shit was good… fuck…" he moaned.
"Killmonger," she cried out as his fingers hit spots in her that hadn't been touched in so long.
"You loved showing this pussy to me. So fat in this bikini. Letting me see these pussy lips all the time… teasing me…"
He pulled his fingers out against the clenching she began doing around them. He sucked her juices from his fingers and admired the frothy wetness that glistened all over her puffy folds. Slapping her vulva, he stood up and forced her to her knees.
"Suck this dick," he commanded.
Portia obeyed, jumping to her knees and swallowing his dick head like it was her last meal in life. He pushed his dick in further and her mouth stretched around it. She pressed her hand on his stomach to control the depth, but he slapped her face. The shock of the sting aroused her, and she stared up at him with heated eyes and a throbbing pussy.
"You gon' take this dick how I feed it to you… spoiled bitch. Now suck on it… put those fucking hands away. I want all mouth, Portia."
Portia opened her mouth wider, and he went in deeper. She gagged while trying to suck and slurp, and her eyes watered, but Killmonger slapped the other side of her face, disappointed with her performance.
"I thought you were better than this. You can't handle this dick?"
Her forehead creased with anger. She always gave world-class head. No man had ever complained about her oral skills. She gripped the root of his dick and he slapped her hands away.
"I said all mouth, and I meant all mouth!"
He pushed her back, and the anger that sat on his face excited her. Killmonger wasn't pleased at all. She licked his balls and kissed her way back to his dick again to try better. Taking her time, she licked around the slit and under the head, coating her tongue with all the pre-cum that dripped from him. He dragged his tip across her lips, making them glossy, and nudged the seam of her lips back open.
"Let's see if you can do better," he said.
She adjusted her knees with the blankets and sucked on that dick tip, using her full concentration. Her suction with her lips improved, and she even grazed her teeth gently around him to switch up her performance. He treated her like a little puppet that needed her strings pulled when she didn't suck to his satisfaction. She worked her ass off to get a groan, a moan, or a "Good girl," to drip from his sexy lips. He patted her head and sometimes pulled her braids to force her lips to do better.
"How are you gonna pull that nut outta Daddy when you stay playin' like that? Huh? Is this your best?" he asked.
She popped his dick out of her mouth with a torrent of saliva falling onto her breasts and pouted.
"Not as good as you thought you were. Do better," he said, shoving his dick back in.
Portia wanted to cry. She gave him grade A head, and it still wasn't up to par. All the tricks she had used over the years to get men off failed her. There were moments when she thought she had made a breakthrough, but he grumbled and told her she was not even close to getting him off.
"Look up at me when you suck that dick," he said.
Frustrated, she gazed up at him as he deep-throated her neck. That gorgeous face and big ass lips had her pussy clenching on nothing but air. Her walls felt so swollen and ached for his dick to lay her out. A few tears streaked down her face as her frustration grew.
"That's a good girl. Now take some more of Daddy's dick. Show me you can follow directions," he said.
She wanted to please him so badly. He played with her nipples and breasts as she worked her neck, throating him down as best she could. Her loud gawking echoed throughout the cave.
"Jaws getting tired?" he teased in a mean tone.
He pulled his dick out and glared at her.
"Tell Daddy you're sorry for letting him down with that mouth," he demanded.
The gruff tone ignited the ache in her clit. He threaded the braids in the back of her head with the fingers of his left hand and tilted her head while fisting his dick. He gently yanked on her hair.
"What I say? Tell Daddy you're sorry for that trash sucking," he barked.
"I can do better," she pleaded.
"You had a long time to show me, and it didn't happen."
He grunted and stared at her ripe lips, his right hand working that length like he was ready to burst. Gripping her head with his hand, he bared his slugs.
"Sorry, Daddy—"
"For what?" he gasped, narrowing his eyes as he brought his tip closer to her whimpering mouth.
"—for not sucking your dick right. Please, I can suck your dick so good!"
Portia fondled her left breast and groped between her legs to flick her clit. Begging him for a chance to prove herself was the only goal she had in life. She needed him to cum… couldn't take her next breath until he was satisfied. Killmonger had scorn written all over his expression.
"Daddy, I'm sorry…" she whined.
"Oh fuck, dassit, dassit!" he shouted.
Hot cum shot out in thick ropes all over her cheeks and lips, accompanied by a roar from his throat that enhanced his release. She opened her mouth to catch the last drops of his orgasm and she came all over her own fingers while enjoying the pure ecstasy on his straining face.
"Damn, Portia… oh… baby… shit!"
Another streak of cum shot out, and he aimed it for the other side of her face. His ejaculate dripped down, and she rubbed it onto her chest, showing him how much it meant to have him all over her breasts. He gave a low laugh and stumbled back.
"Whew… damn, girl. I was tryna hold back for so long. Your head game is fucking superb."
She licked her fingers and then stared at him.
"You were playing with me?" she asked.
"Not at first. You're used to simps being satisfied with the bare minimum. I'm a grown-ass man who needs you to show and prove with this dick. It's not for the weak, and you showed the fuck out."
He lifted her up, and she didn't want him to do anything else until she had wiped her face and chest off with a wet wipe. Killmonger hugged and kissed her afterward. They stood in the boat, necking until she couldn't take any more. She climbed him like Santa Claus was bearing gifts and wrapped her legs around him.
"I want you sitting on my mouth," he said between desperate kisses from her lips.
She slid down his body and he situated himself comfortably on the blankets. Portia squatted over his face and planted her pussy on his lips. He let it rest there, feeling the wetness all over before humming and moaning into her flesh.
"Ooh," she moaned, scissoring her clit.
He slapped her fingers away, and she looked down at him. The glow from the lamps made his eyes a liquid brown dream, and he slathered that wide tongue up and down her folds, circling her clit with the tip. He held onto her ass cheeks and she mewled and bit her bottom lip to keep from hollering out his name. Killmonger slapped both of her ass cheeks before sliding his hands under and over her thighs to lock her down on his tongue. He made it stiff, and she lifted herself to let him insert it nice and snug inside of her. Cradling her breasts, Portia went up and down and he fucked her with tongue, lips, and groans that vibrated her folds.
"Killmonger!" she yelled, not caring if pirates, snakes, Mimi, the Coast Guard, or God heard her cries of pleasure.
His tongue was delectable on her pussy and inside of it. The strength of his hands supporting her, his burning gaze rooting her to his lips… everything about him gave her chills. The effort to cum was minimal. Her orgasm shattered her ability to think clearly anymore. She babbled something or other like she was talking in tongues at her old church back in South Carolina. Bucking and yelping made no difference. That man was going to turn her pussy out. She whimpered and fell forward, unable to move any limbs. His laughter at pleasing her bounced all over the cave and she joined him, reveling in the joy that their bodies could share with one another.
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Killmonger held Portia carefully in his arms as they kissed.
The taste of the deepest part of her stayed on his tongue and he shared the gift of that with her. She clung to him as if she feared him disappearing into the wet, rainy night. He had to do a patrol and fished around for night vision goggles he found stashed in a sideboard on the boat. Putting on his pants and combat boots, he didn't bother to wear a t-shirt and just tossed on his black jacket. He stuffed the satellite phone into an inside pocket and strapped his Glock around his thigh.
Portia watched him under the blankets, staring up at him with so much lust that it tempted him to forego an island sweep to stay with her. Grabbing an unfinished water bottle, he knelt down next to her and pressed his warm lips against her forehead.
"Keep it hot for me," he said, winking at her.
He wasn't finished with her by a long shot. They only experienced oral sex, each taking turns to taste and learn the other's private parts intimately.
Killmonger trudged out of the cave with Portia's scent on his beard. He placed the night vision goggles on once he was out of her sight. He hiked around, searching the sea even as a light rain came down on him. Without Portia being with him, he could get around fast. He turned on the phone and checked for any missed calls from the Greek Coast Guard. They were operating under extreme weather conditions on their end, despite the mild display on their side. Killmonger was glad that they found a place to hide that shielded them. He hoped the bad weather stayed outside of Crete and didn't follow their rescue unit.
Nothing unusual appeared on the horizon. Confident that they were in the clear, he took a moment to let the soft rain bathe his face. He hiked back to Portia and rinsed himself off before getting back into their boat bed with her naked again. She threw her arms around him like she was his woman, greeting her man after a hard day's work.
Oh, how the tables had turned!
Hiding away turned her into a bubbly, humorous woman who sought beauty all around her. It mesmerized him, watching the glow on her face as the sunrise brought her to tears that morning. She was thankful for the plain food they had to eat, and she didn't complain too much about their situation or bug him about checking the phone more than he did. His leadership and take-charge attitude allowed her to fall back into a space of just living in the present. He liked that version of her and wondered if the ice princess persona would return once they were rescued. Killmonger hoped not.
He sank his tongue back in her eager mouth and they kissed for an hour, stopping to catch their breath and caress each other. Her eyes became dewy for him and she couldn't stop touching him or being hugged up next to him. He made her lay back and played with her clit, dipping his finger inside her pussy just to watch it contract around his fingers, trying to keep them inside.
His dick became a turgid beast and hung heavy between his thighs. There were no condoms available. He had some on the yacht where he thought he might need them if he found a babe to his liking, but the only woman who turned him on was Portia. On the ship, he knew there was no way they would ever hook up. He wanted to fuck the boldness out of her back then, just to wipe that bitch queen attitude off her face. It baffled him at how quickly she wanted to submit to his domination of her body with his. He had suspected she wanted to be dominated, but not that fast.
Killmonger could've busted a nut all over her from the first ten minutes of sucking she did, but he pushed her to the limit to see if she would fight his heckling of her throat game. How he was able to keep control over his release was a miracle. He was ready to blow his load when she spit on his dickhole and cradled his balls in her hand, staring up at him with those formerly insolent cat eyes. Killmonger kept pushing her until she broke and gave him what he wanted. Her apology made him cum so hard. All he could think about was her telling him to shut the fuck up when he told her about herself. That woman got on her knees and sucked the glory out of his dick. Begged to please him. That shit amped him up.
Portia held his dick in her capable hands. They both wanted to fuck.
God!
Nice tits. A dangerous ass. Mouth game beyond ridiculous. How was Quinton not in that woman twenty-four-seven the entire time on that yacht? Portia walked around with that prize pussy, advertised it to the world all week with skimpy swimsuits, and Killmonger regretted not throwing caution to the wind and just stepping to her. Game peeped game. They could fuck and fight afterward. She was most definitely throwing hints he could get it on the yacht, but he stayed professional.
He leaned down and sucked on her neck. She panted, squirming against him, and he fingered her pussy slowly until she squeezed her eyes shut and her mouth fell open in agony.
"Fuck… I wish I could give you what you need, girl," he groaned into her ear.
She touched his scars like they were precious to her.
"You can," she said in a hushed voice.
"Without a condom?" he said.
Her gaze didn't flinch, and she pouted those succulent lips.
"I almost got killed. I'm stranded on an island with a mercenary. A hurricane could blow through here and end us both tonight. I have nothing to lose," she said.
Shit.
Killmonger regarded her face to make sure she was serious.
"I'm checked for STIs every three months," he said.
"Six months for me. I've been with Quinton for a couple of years. We normally use condoms and have unprotected for special occasions only. He's a germaphobe and I'm pretty sure Tiana was his first outside fuck. I'm on the pill, and… well… like I said, tomorrow isn't promised. This entire trip taught me that."
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"You don't have to if you don't want to."
"Trust. I want to. Been wanting to."
She grinned and ran her hand over his locs, rolling the end of one between her fingers.
"I have, too. All that teasing was to get your attention."
"You had it the moment you walked on board that yacht. I didn't like you… but I liked your confidence," he said.
He played with the end of one of her braids and fondled a diamond hair jewel.
"Are you like this in private, when you aren't being theatrical with all the spotlights?" he asked.
"Like what?"
"Unguarded. Open. Friendly."
"Sometimes. I run with a crowd that I have to have a protective shell with all the time."
"Sad life."
"What about you? You also put on an act. You're not mean all the time," she said.
"I'm direct. There's a difference. My job is life or death in precarious places with dangerous people."
"Have you ever lost an entire team before?"
"No. This was a major hit. Practically overkill. There were about ten men compared to my five, and they were using high-grade explosives. Most pirates want hostages or the ship itself. Those people came there for one thing. Do a wet job and bounce. You and I aren't supposed to be alive, Portia."
He cradled her in his arms. The scent of her hair was sugary sweet, like some exotic fruit and nutmeg. Their ardor cooled with their private thoughts and Killmonger listened to the rush of water lapping onto the cave shore. The wind picked up and howled down from the four-foot hole in the ceiling. He stayed awake and Portia slept deeply, the rise and fall of her chest soothing to him. If she had another nightmare, she'd wake up with him holding her. At two in the morning, he snuck away to patrol again. Heavier storm clouds accumulated in the distance and he expected stronger weather soon. A boom of thunder and spidery streaks of lightning zig-zagged across the sky. He popped the collar on his jacket and used his night vision goggles. A vast emptiness stretched out before him. For all he knew, they were the only people in the entire world. The cell phone had poor reception and the battery life was low. Hell, if no one showed up, they'd have to chance it back on the water. There were paddles and he'd get them to Crete one way or another with his own arm power once all the gas was used. He flipped on the locator beam's distress signal light. Survival was second nature to him. They would make it out.
Killmonger took his time going back to the cave. The darkness, the wind, and the rain comforted his mood.
No more civilian gigs.
He took the job as a favor to Clark, but he missed the offensive action of being in foreign countries. He'd give Clark a piece of his mind when he got back. The men he put together for Killmonger should not have allowed those killers to get that close. He had four men on water detail in all directions, and they allowed a boat to hit them swiftly and deadly. They were all executed, so he doubted they were in on the take. He would've caught on right away that it was a set-up when he first arrived. The attack crew had to have used a submersible to plant the explosives against the hull. It was something he would've done.
A heavier thunderstorm arrived, and he jogged back to the cave.
Portia was still asleep. Mimi was up, digging holes in the back of the cave, too distracted to bark or whine at him for attention. He took off his jacket and boots, climbing back beside Portia for warmth. She had curled into the fetal position under a blanket and looked so vulnerable. The cooler air and rain on his body made him shiver a bit, and he went to make another fire.
By early morning, the storm kicked up and the tide level in the cave increased. It wasn't enough to make them leave because the giant boulders and jagged smaller island formations surrounding the cave kept the larger waves from crashing to shore on them. The gigantic grayish-black clouds made the interior darker, adding to the dreary atmosphere as large raindrops showered their private beach.
Portia ate a cold-weather MRE of scrambled eggs, fruit bars, oatmeal, and a bland trail mix. He made them coffee again and ate his own meal before catching some sleep. With no phone reception and the bad weather making visibility terrible, he could afford to rest for an hour or two. He listened to Portia bathe on the other side of the cave. She hummed with a pleasant voice and spent some time by the fire alone with her dog.
The storm kept them quiet, and they became occupied with other things rather than each other until she found a kit of tiny board games inside a sealed bag. There were checkers, chess, Tic Tac Toe, and a deck of cards. They played speed with the cards and hunkered down to play checkers before lunch. Hunger and lunch skipped them as they got into a serious chess match. Later, they both played with Mimi, letting the dog chase them around the cave until Erik shouted bloody murder and flailed his arms around.
"What is it? What is it?" Porta shrieked, scared out of her wits.
"A spider dropped down on me!"
Portia blinked a few times, then burst out laughing. He swiped at his locs and a quarter-sized furry brown arachnid fell out of his hair and scurried on the sand. Mimi chased after it and they both beat pieces of wood on the ground trying to smash it. The dog gobbled it up and Portia grabbed her stomach from laughing so hard.
"Your big butt was scared of that little thing? I thought a tarantula fell on you!" she cackled.
"It's all the legs that creep me out, and they move real sneaky," he grumbled, embarrassed that he showed a weakness in front of her.
"Poor baby," Portia said, patting his back, "Mimi saved you."
He chased after Portia and lifted her over his shoulder, spanking her backside for teasing him. Another bigger spider dropped from the roof and landed on Portia. She damn near came out of her own skin trying to swipe it out of her hair. Killmonger let her run around like a chicken with its head cut off to teach her a lesson about making fun of him. She walked around with the heebie-jeebies afterward, terrified more spiders would come raining down on them like a horror movie. Rain, thunder, and spiders were forgotten when they crawled back into the boat together for a nap. She traced the shape of his scars with her fingers again, and he rested his chin on her head.
"I know this sounds crazy, but I really like it here with you," she whispered.
"Yeah?"
She nodded against his chest.
"I thought I would go stir crazy, but I'm actually grateful to sit still. Weird, huh? No TV. Internet. People. Just peace. No distractions. No one to impress or look good for. It feels like we're Adam and Eve here."
"No apples or snakes, though," he joked.
"What do you do when you don't work?"
"I sit still. Like this."
"Where?"
"That's classified information."
"Really."
"The less you know about me, the better."
"Is Killmonger even your real name?"
"No."
She never asked for his name. He was glad. She took the hint.
"We'll never see each other again after this," she said.
"No, we won't," he said with finality.
"You make me laugh, and you're a skilled chess player."
"You're not too bad yourself."
Portia sat up and took off her bikini again. Her eyes were loving and drank in his face. She helped him undress, then kissed him all over his face, touching his chin, and giving her lips to him before kissing down his chest, following the trail of hairs below his belly button until she had his dick in her mouth. She bobbed her head, and he said her name softly, praising her for how good she made him feel. Pushing him back, she held his dick upright and aligned it with her opening. He held his breath as she sank down on him. She grunted when she reached the bottom. His dick had her folds stretched all around him tight, creating a snug suction as she went up and down, taking her time. They locked eyes, and the arousal overwhelmed him. He gazed at their connection like he was in a daze and her pussy made his thickness shiny and slick. Portia rode him so well that his back arched and he lifted to press her against his chest as he thrust into her. Up and down she went, caressing her nipples, those expensive, icy-looking fingernails highlighting the hidden treasure that she was beneath all the posturing.
He had looked down on Portia before meeting her, his disdain at her Sugar Baby ways clouding his judgment on who she really was as an individual sans the glitz. Fucking him like that in a hollow cave on a lone island proved to him she was worth pampering and spoiling. If he had the money, he'd spend it on her himself. The pussy taking care of his dick was priceless.
"Turn around," he gasped.
Portia lifted and swung her legs the other way, leaning forward as she wiggled her backside for him. He palmed a fat cheek and her pussy swallowed his dick. She rocked back on him and he was blessed to watch her ass jiggle and his dick stretch her out at the same time. He whimpered in his throat with his entire face scrunched up at the intense pleasure. She rode the tip of his dick, and then placed those diamond nails on her ass cheeks, spreading them wide so he could see her pussy work. He slipped his thumb in her ass, and Portia moaned. She drenched his dick and the gushy sounds harmonized with his groans.
She showed out.
Circling her waist, she twisted her pussy on his dick and he couldn't take it anymore. He slapped her ass and forced her onto her hands and knees. Clapping her cheeks was the goal, and he made Portia call out his name as he gave her what she needed. Her pussy became disrespectful, and he tamed her depths, gripping her waist and deep dicking her nice and slow.
"Killmonger… Killmonger… Killmonger…" she panted.
The need to dominate surged in his loins. Flipping her over, he forced her to take the dick she so richly deserved. The pillow princess vanished and in her place was an erotically in-tune woman with full-body engagement. He threw her legs over his shoulders and cursed at how satisfying her pussy felt all around him. She had to have diamonds on her walls because whatever amount of money rich men spent on her wasn't enough. Her grip on his dick had him moaning and choking up his curse words in his throat. She took him deeper and his glutes clenched tight, helping him pump death strokes into her. The cave was full of squelching and grunts, and he watched their shadows moving on the cave walls from the fire. Her hips wiggled seductively, and he hunched down low to kiss her lips and feel her breasts smashed against his chest. They were beyond fucking at that point, moving into the primal state like they were the first man and woman to ever make love.
Scooting to her side, he held her legs up and stroked her walls from a new angle that knocked the sense out of her. Those pouty lips stayed open and her eyes took on a glazed look as if she couldn't believe what was happening to her. Her breasts bounced with each thrust and she glanced down to watch his dick ruin her. She chewed on her lip when she saw what was happening to her pussy. He snaked his hips and hit another angle within her and she called out to God. He stayed working that spot, stroking it until his body became a stiff plank focused on only one task: making her cum hard on his dick.
She rubbed on her clit, and those pretty nails had his balls moving.
"Baby… I feel it… 'bout to cum…" he gasped.
"You wanna cum in my pretty pussy?"
The wantonness in her voice urged him on.
"Pussy so good… fucking me so good… dick so hard…" he chuffed with abandon
"You want to make a big mess in my pussy?"
Her voice electrified him. It pushed him to give her his best and yet it challenged him like she was internally comparing him to others and he was coming up short. It was arousing, but it irked him too.
"Take it… take Daddy's dick," he grunted.
Her eyes changed, became coquettish, and it threw him off. His skin was on fire and dripped with sweat, and the sound of her voice encouraged him to tame that pussy. She dared him to. Portia's face transformed into a woman who wanted some Daddy dick to control her. Her right hand fondled the nape of his neck and those long nails scraped there with seductive pressure.
"I don't know if I can take all this dick the way you want," she taunted. "So big…"
He groaned, and she latched on to that sign of weakness.
"You're taking it… all this dick," he grunted.
"Are you sure? I'm trying to make it all fit for you," she said, all breathy.
"Oh, fuck!"
What was she doing? Playing coy? She acted like some virgin who had never had dick before. Her tone was ultra-feminine. She tucked the nail of her index finger between her teeth and looked down at his dick stretching those sweet walls. Her eyes were wide with wonder at the sight, and that coquettish energy fed him what he needed. Dominance.
"Nobody fuck you like this?" he grunted.
She shook her head and kept her eyes on his dick, with that finger still in her mouth.
"Fuck my pussy," she said.
She looked at him with sweet, innocent eyes.
"Goddammit!" he cried out. "Spread those pussy lips!"
Portia widened those sticky folds and the sides of her fingers glided along his dick as he gave her all that he had left. She kept her finger in her mouth with her other hand and her beauty pushed him to the brink. He mounted her again in missionary and his sweat fell on her like the rain falling on the water. She kept her legs up, that pussy open, and that damn lone finger between her lips. Her reckless eyes gazed at him and his dick swelled.
"I'm cumming! Oh shiiitttttt, I'm cumminggggg," he yelled.
He shoved his hips forward and Portia pursed her lips. She squirmed and lost the battle to hold on.
"Ohmigod… Killmonger!" she shouted.
Her head fell back and her pussy contracted with strong clenches all along his erection. Their shouts of pleasure intertwined and became one with the back and forth of their bodies squeezing and throbbing together. He caught himself before collapsing on her, pulling out his dick and fisting the last of his cum all over her clit. She was a pool of sweat and satisfaction, and they gasped for air, staring at the cave ceiling. The rain continued to fall.
Portia curled against his chest.
Sleep came fast.
He woke up, and she was gone. So was Mimi.
Killmonger called to them before putting on his clothes and grabbing his pack. It was only early evening, and the rain had stopped. Fat gray clouds still squatted over their island, but the storm's driving power had moved on. He found Portia and Mimi at the peak near the beacon.
"Went for a walk," she said.
He sat down next to them and pet the dog on the head. Mimi licked his hand. Pulling out the binoculars, he checked the sea. A cool breeze ruffled his locs. The wind was still strong, and the water had a few whitecaps.
Wait…
There!
A ship.
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Killmonger honed in for the telltale signs of Coast Guard markings. There was a Greek flag waving from the gray and white ship. Greek lettering in big white caps spelled out Hellenic Coast Guard. He watched it approach to make sure it was the real deal before pulling out the flare gun and shooting it. Dark orange smoke shot up high in the sky.
"It's them?" Portia squealed.
"Yep."
She hugged Mimi, and he turned on the emergency cell. The power went out, but he didn't care. He held Portia's hand, and they walked down to the cave. There was nothing to do but push their emergency boat into the water. It had just enough gas left to power them out into the open sea. Killmonger didn't want to wait for them to send a smaller boat. He needed Portia in a safe place fast with Greek government protection.
They sped out on the water, bouncing on the choppy waves. Porta kept looking behind her like she wanted to keep the image of their island in her mind. He gave her his outer shirt to wear on top of her bikini. She curled her legs under her wrap dress.
Killmonger aligned their boat against the large Coast Guard ship and the crew helped Portia up on a side ladder. He tied their boat to the larger one and knotted a rope around Mimi's dog crate so a crew member could help the dog get on board. Finally, he climbed up himself. The captain of the ship greeted them and gave them both blankets and hot coffee. Portia was damn near teary-eyed and she pressed herself against Killmonger, afraid to leave his side.
"Come inside," the captain said when the weather picked up outside.
They followed the man into a busy interior and sat down on cushioned seats that felt good after sitting on the sand and a hard boat bottom. A crew member handed them mugs filled with a thick Greek soup. They ate and Portia asked to use the head. She was led away further into the interior. The weathered-face captain asked him some questions and Killmonger's sixth sense kicked in.
Something was wrong.
There were too many men on the ship not dressed appropriately. Only the captain and a lieutenant had on a proper Greek Coast Guard uniform with their ranks on them. The others had dark clothing without rankings or insignias. The captain gave a weak smile and the perspiration on his forehead didn't go with the cool interior. Killmonger kept his tone normal.
"How soon can we make it back to the mainland?" he asked, thrusting his empty mug out for more hot coffee.
"It will take time. The weather has been tricky. We almost lost your signal," he said.
Killmonger nodded and moved over to a window. He counted the other men outside to get an accurate assessment of what he was up against and thanked his lucky stars that he opted to keep his Glock under his jacket. When he contacted the coast guard for help originally, he kept his identity vague, pretending to be a guest of Quinton. The attack team must've intercepted the Greek Coast Guard for their own nefarious use as a getaway ship. It had become a death trap for him and Portia.
Portia returned, all chipper. Her ice princess personality snapped back like a rubber band. She glanced at him and he pretended things were all good.
"Hey, baby, put Mimi back in her cage. We don't want her running around," Killmonger said.
The forced affection in front of the others surprised her. She walked over to the dog kennel near him and bent down to place Mimi inside it. After she locked the crate, Killmonger slipped an arm around Portia's waist and gently had her sit next to him.
"More soup?" The captain asked.
"No, thank you. When will we get back to Crete? Or is Athens where we're headed?" she asked.
Portia looked at Killmonger, and he sipped on his coffee to keep from answering right away.
"Would you like to rest, Miss Keith?"
The nervous lieutenant sensed the tension that had risen in the galley.
"There's an empty bunk you can sleep in until we reach port," the man said.
His name badge said Makris.
"You should go lay down. I'll check on you later. Take Mimi with you," Killmonger said.
Portia caught on that something was off. He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"If there's a door, lock yourself in there," he whispered in her ear.
She kissed his lips and picked up Mimi. Portia showed no fear as she followed Makris. She played it cool and calm, like an iceberg. Good girl, he thought.
Killmonger had fourteen rounds in his Glock. He counted seven false crew members and only two regular ones. The rest of the original crew were dead somewhere on the ship or tossed overboard. He assumed Quinton had escaped on some other watercraft to separate himself from the killers. They wouldn't rush to kill them all until nightfall, with darkness as a cover. Something must've happened to their ship in order for them to risk hijacking a Coast Guard operation.
"She has heart medicine she needs. I forgot to bring it up from the boat we used," Killmonger said. The lie rang true to the men.
"We can have someone go down and get it for you," the captain said.
Vlachos. The captain's name badge gave Killmonger a second to look away from a bulky merc who sized him up.
"It's in a side slot in the back," Killmonger said, following the man out onto the deck again.
The bulky man climbed down the side of the ship and rooted around.
"The back," Killmonger called down.
The man held up his hands.
"Hold on," Killmonger said.
A few more killers came out to watch him as he climbed down. One in the boat. Six up top. Perfect.
"That boat has a lot of tricky compartments," Killmonger said.
A wave buoyed the boat, and they both lost their balance for a second. Killmonger pretended to dig into a slot near the side of the ship and unlatched the boat, letting it float away. He dropped low, pulled out his Glock, and shot the bulky man dead. The man fell over the side with a soft splash. Shots from above popped over his head, but he turned on the motor and glided around the other side. Once he reached the gap he needed, he slammed his hands around the front M60 7.62mm machine gun and blasted at the men. He ripped through four right away. One caught him slipping and clipped Killmonger in his shoulder. It wasn't enough to stop him, but the distraction gave Vlachos and Makris the opportunity to jump the last two killers and wrestle them. Killmonger zipped back toward the ladder again. He hooked the boat and hustled back to the top. Vlachos took a shot in the chest but apprehended one assailant. Makris knocked the gun out of another merc's hand and bashed his head against the deck floor, knocking him out.
Blood pooled and cooled all over the deck with the other dead men.
Portia ran out of seclusion and grabbed him so hard that it knocked the wind out of him.
"Your arm," she said, touching his bleeding wound.
Killmonger shrugged it off.
"We gotta help him," Killmonger said, nodding over to Vlachos.
Vlachos waved them away.
"Bullet passed right through," Vlachos said.
Makris helped the captain back into the galley and tended to both injured men with a first aid kit. They revealed to him the sordid story of how they ran into the armed men on their way to find them, coming across their distressed vessel that had stopped working because an engine fire left them stranded. The hijackers shot their initial crew of eight down to only two when they tried to fight back.
Killmonger was exhausted by the time he tried to rest on a bunk bed. Blood loss tired him out and so did Portia, who fussed over him with tears streaming down her face, thinking she had heard him being killed. She crawled on top of him despite his pain, too frightened to leave his side. He fell asleep to her soft humming and stroking of his locs.
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Portia, Makris, and Vlachos arrived in Crete the next morning.
Killmonger had disappeared.
The military boat they escaped with was gone. She relayed the deadly adventure to the press and her photos were blasted worldwide. First came the press tours, then the exclusive paid interviews. A book deal followed along with a movie deal and three-part docuseries. She milked every opportunity to tell her story as the only survivor and was paid handsomely for it.
Returning to New York, she hid out in a penthouse for months, searching all over the internet for any trace of Killmonger. If it had not been for Makris and Vlachos corroborating that the man did indeed exist, she may have convinced herself that he was a figment of her overactive imagination. Two of the killers that survived the Coast Guard ship confessed to being hired by Quinton. A global manhunt seemed never-ending. When billionaires were murdered in cold blood, people cared. She attended memorials to all the victims, making sure she looked fabulous in Thom Browne and Prada fashion with her signature Chanel shades. Portia wasn't close to any of the people she partied with on the yacht, aside from Quinton. However, leaked photos from her private social media account showed merry faces prior to them leaving Athens on the first day of the New Year's trip. It brought comfort to the families, and they invited her to spend weeks in various billionaire enclaves where she spun stories about their rich sons being brave and attempting to save the women. All lies. But it gave the loved ones a sense of closure and peace.
After a year, her life returned to jet-setting and fashion weeks all over again. Her misadventure bolstered her popularity because of the glamorous photos of her being escorted from the Greek Coast Guard ship in her knitted alabaster bikini. For someone experiencing a traumatic event, Portia looked fashionable as fuck.
Media ate up the haunting tale of Quinton living a double life somewhere. Media blasted his life history around the world as the biggest true crime story to come along in years. Many speculated that he had drowned or killed himself because he couldn't be found anywhere. Portia guessed he lived in a country where he couldn't be extradited. The hoopla died down until her book came out. Then there was a buzz about the casting for the movie. Depression set in then.
Portia visited a few therapists, but none could help her cure the anger that sat in her spirit like venom that she couldn't spew out. She wanted Quinton's head on a plate. He needed to pay for what he had done. It didn't matter to her that the people he killed weren't her genuine friends. He ended human lives because of greed. She couldn't get over that he took the bitch route to jumpstart his fortunes. As smart as he was, he couldn't develop or create something new and amazing that made him rich in the first place. An existential dread lived in her gut. Portia couldn't free herself from the lack of justice. Jetting around the world with Mimi in tow didn't heal the pain. New diamonds, furs, and fancy cars lost their luster. Revenge burned in her soul.
She turned toward the dark web to search for Killmonger. Using some of her movie money, she hired the best ex-CIA and former Black Ops agents to help her find her mercenary lover. One former field agent told her the best that could happen was Killmonger would catch wind of her search, but no one could actually contact him. That was good enough.
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The Swiss Alps looked like he imagined.
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Cold, white, and jagged.
The job called for a remote location and this was as remote as it got. Killmonger rolled the late-model SUV into a long, isolated driveway that hadn't been plowed for a while. He parked when he couldn't drive any further, and dragged a large black duffel bag out of the trunk, along with an arsenal of small weapons in a backpack. The thick powdery snow cushioned and muffled his steps. All the lights were on in the mountain luxury chalet he came to. His target was inside. The cloudless night sky made the snow glittery with the moonlight and security lights surrounding the property.
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Cold air made puffy clouds of his breath. His lungs burned from the exertion and altitude. He tapped his wrist computer and all the security cameras shut down within the chalet. The woman inside had a wineglass in her hand and talked on a cell phone, clueless that he was outside approaching with stealth. The lights in the interior winked out, then came back on suddenly. She turned her head and stared out through the large glass windows. Her eyes glossed over the valley below that was filled with snow that would have more dumped by midnight. Flakes had already fallen down on his way up a winding road.
He waited.
The front door opened, and the beauty stepped out in a long white fur coat reminding him of Goldie from the old Black flick, "The Mack". She still rocked expensive diamonds, and Ma carried herself like the ice princess she would always be.
Portia.
He stepped into the light and she grinned, relief creasing her brow and her lush lips spreading into the biggest smile. His heart dropped for a moment. She almost looked like she did back on their island.
"Killmonger," she said.
Her voice made him move toward her. She helped him with the small backpack and he hauled the duffel up the steps and into a cozy, warm interior. A fire burned in the fireplace and Mimi jumped around his legs.
"Hey rat dog," he teased.
He dropped the duffel near the door and lifted the dog. Portia took off her coat, revealing the slinky silver dress with the low-cut front he admired before he came in.
"Bring yourself over here," he said, dropping Mimi to the floor.
She sauntered to him, walking like a runway model, exaggerating her hips as she moved and draped her arms around his neck. He inhaled her lovely scent and memories rushed back of him and her alone… making love. Killmonger kissed her first, and she opened her mouth to envelop all the warmth of his tongue.
Two years.
They hadn't been in contact with each other in two years since he disappeared from her life. He went back to work for Clark and dropped off the radar soon after. The fame of their adventure dazzled his eyes when he went to a movie theater in Morocco and watched a film that was almost true. The actress that played Portia was gorgeous, but she lacked aloofness and sublime sensuality. Their sex scenes were amplified and gratuitous. There were long scenes of them fucking in water that never happened, and also one of them screwing on the Coast Guard ship. Also, untrue. The actor that was supposed to be him wasn't even a close approximation of Killmonger, but women loved him at the box office and the film became a blockbuster. The docuseries blew up, too. Portia became a media star and super-rich by doing nothing except being beautiful and caught up in some greedy foolishness. Some girls had all the luck with pretty privilege. The anomaly was her being a beautiful Black woman with an intriguing action-adventure-romance story. It did not shock him when Hollywood tried to white-wash the film by recasting Portia as a white blonde. That idea dropped, but they did cast a Black biracial British actress to play her. Think pieces blew up around that.
He got word of her searching for him.
It was only a matter of time. He thought of her often as he worked throughout the Middle East and West Africa. His notifications blew up during fashion weeks and he scrolled timelines to see what she had on and found out how her life was going. She dated often, but nothing serious. Her mystique intensified and everyone wanted her at their major events and parties.
He sensed her unhappiness.
Quinton, getting away with murder, rubbed too many white, rich people the wrong way. A Black man double-crossing billionaires and profiting from it... alive somewhere? Unheard of. Portia survived with the sting of betrayal hovering around her.
Killmonger smacked her ass, and she gave him the glass of wine in her hand. He drank it down, and she took it away, resting it on a side table.
The duffle moved.
Mimi growled and barked at the large black canvas bag and Killmonger knelt down, unzipping it. Stuffed inside was Quinton, tied and gagged. Portia picked up the smaller backpack she carried into the chalet for Killmonger. She opened it and he moved his hand around in it.
"Your choice of weapon, Ma," Killmonger said.
Portia lifted a modified Maxim 9 with a built-in silencer.
"What a way to ring in the New Year," she said, kissing him.
She dropped to one knee and peered at her prey.
"Hello, Quinton. Long time no see, baby," she said.
The iciness of her voice chilled Killmonger. Quinton's desperate eyes pleaded for mercy. She would give him none.
Portia zipped the bag up and stuffed the Maxim 9 back into the pack. She grabbed Killmonger's hand and pulled him toward some stairs.
"I'll save him for midnight when the fireworks go off. Right now, I want you," she purred.
Killmonger followed his ice princess. They had some reacquainting to do in the privacy of a luxury bedroom with fresh snow falling outside.
"Happy New Year," he whispered before kissing her all over.
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A.N.:
Brought an oldie but goodie back! I first published this on here back on October 11, 2022, a month before "Wakanda Forever" came out. I thought I would expand this into a longer piece and indie publish it with some other stuff I took down from here, but I decided to put it up again because we need fun things to read in these daunting times with Cheeto dust back in office. Enjoy and please reblog!
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months ago
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here's a wild one for y'all. cw for parental death. names have been changed, it is a kinda specific situation but I think only 1 of my family members is on Tumblr so whatever. sorry it got so long, it's a complicated situation and still VERY fresh so my brain is kinda fried lol.
tldr my dad passed away without a will and we want to give his long-distance "side" gf the house he helped her buy. I'm worried she won't be able to afford the mortgage, but don't really want to give her any of the monetary payouts. WIBTA if my brothers and I kept all of the cash?
so late last week (it's Dec 19 as of submitting) my father (60s M) passed away in a sudden car accident on his way to work. I'm (late 20s ftM) his oldest child, I also have a younger brother (mid 20s M) who we'll call Phineas and an even younger half-brother (almost tween, M) who we'll call Aaron.
so I'd describe my dad as a kind and loving but stubborn and stupid man. I would also guess, based on what I know of his love life, that he was polyamorous but didn't realize it due to his conservative Christian upbringing and didn't know it was an option so instead ended up being...well, kinda an adulterer tbh. this isn't to excuse his actual actions bc they were obviously wrong, but is the way the situation reads to me, a polyamorous person.
Dad had a long distance girlfriend (50s??? maybe??? F) on the West Coast (we live near the East Coast), we'll call her Melody. I met her a few years back when he flew Phineas and I with him to visit her. she's a sweet woman from what I know of her. when I got the news of his passing, I was the one who called her to let her know what happened. (which sucked.)
well, what I Didn't know until I was trying to scrape together travel arrangements (I live 5 hours away from Phineas and my dad) was that he also had a Wife (60sF), who we'll call Patricia. (it wasn't a legal marriage, it was "in the eyes of the Lord" as they said, due to legal complications to do with her social security benefits or something. which is why the arrangements for his death fell onto Phineas and I as his adult children. but if he called her his wife then as far as I'm concerned that's what she is.) he didn't really tell me or Phineas about the full nature of their relationship. Phineas found out bc our dad was spending so much time with her that he'd practically moved in w her, put two and two together and asked her to confirm. I never even knew she existed till all this happened. he had told his parents and siblings about her, and they approved of her. we can only speculate why he kept it so quiet to us, she thinks bc of his history with Real Duds that we'd be upset somehow. idk.
so anyway Patricia knew about Melody. my dad was already seeing Melody when he started seeing Patricia. I don't know what he was thinking when he got with Patricia tbh, can't ask him now anyway, but she knew about Melody the whole time. wasn't thrilled about it, constantly told him he needed to tell her the truth and end things, but doesn't truly hold that against Melody herself bc she didn't know.
Melody, however, did not know about Patricia. he was planning to tell her at some point. kept meaning to. still loved her, didn't wanna hurt her, but was also trying to be monogamously committed to Patricia too. he never got around to actually ending things with Melody before he passed, and as far as she knew he was still planning to move out there and get married to her. he even took out a loan to help her pay for her late mother's house, both their names are on the mortgage and deed.
which brings me to my question. my dad didn't seem to have a will (not that we can find anyway), so Phineas and I are the ones in charge of distributing his various belongings and payouts and such. we both agree that we don't have any use for some house across the country, and Melody is already living in it anyway. imo she should just Have It. however, she is also Pretty Poor. I don't know the specifics of her situation (or, really, much about the complications of home ownership?) but I do worry about her ability to continue to pay the mortgage, assuming that's a thing. we're still waiting to hear about all the details and numbers and have somebody who actually knows about that stuff translate it into layman's terms for us non-homeowners (or in Phineas's case, Brand New Homeowner) so we can get a full picture of how all that is going to work legally speaking.
Dad also had life insurance thru his employer. we are still working thru the red tape at his company to figure out who the beneficiary is, the most likely candidate being me as the eldest child. Phineas and I are agreed that we'll at least be splitting most, if not all, the money evenly between us and Aaron. Patricia is INSISTENT that she doesn't want any of it, she wants us kids to keep it bc unlike some of his exes she never cared about his money (he made GOOD money, but still ended up kinda poor due to both being generous to, and having been taken advantage of by, multiple women since my bio mom died. including having to shell out an insane amount of child support for Aaron despite already having a very active role in his life. like he paid more child support than either I or my fiancee even make at our jobs, while also frequently just straight up directly providing for him where he could). because of his income it's looking like a pretty hefty payout.
however, my brother and I are both pretty poor as well. while we don't know the exact amount we're getting, some are speculating a number that, even split 3 ways, would be Life-Changing for us. we're talking 5 figure amounts, more than I or my fiancee make in a year. like we'll still need to work for a living but, for example, it could be a down-payment on a house or a massive safety net for when I'm out of work (I have a steady job but with seasonal unpaid breaks). it could help Phineas afford expensive repairs for the trailer he now owns, which my dad was supposed to help pay for. in the right account with a decent interest rate, it could be tuition for when Aaron goes to college.
I feel like I Should probably toss some of that money Melody's way, esp since I feel so bad that she's getting the one-two punch of finding out her bf died AND also he had a wife she wasn't aware of. but my brothers and I could really use that money as well. I don't know that Phineas wants to send her any, we're saving that conversation for when we know more of the exact numbers. I don't even know how much Dad was paying towards it, or if he even was anymore. plus--and this is kinda a minor detail--but there's kind of a general vibe I'm getting from the Family (ALL 4 of my dad's siblings AND both his parents are somehow still alive) that Melody is kinda...unliked. they love Patricia and were CONSTANTLY frustrated that he was still visiting Melody and frequently sending her money; I get the feeling they viewed her the same as some of his other gold-digging exes so i think maybe sending her Even More Money would look a little weird? like she's already getting full ownership of a house out of the deal. most of them are in agreement that Phineas and I are the ones who get the final say on the bulk of these decisions but they're...a little pushy anyway.
like I said, we don't know what any of the actual numbers look like AT ALL yet, so it might actually be fine. but WIBTA if we just left her the sole homeowner when she couldn't really afford it, and not send her any money? the consensus will probably show up too late to affect our decision but hey, figured the situation would make for a wild ride anyway (or maybe I just feel like that bc it has been for me LOL).
What are these acronyms?
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mollywog · 5 months ago
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What If?
A follow up to Complicated
They’re in the meadow. Katniss lies with her head in his lap as he braids small sections of her loose hair. Tomorrow is his one late morning a week and he’s enjoying staying up enough to see the sunset.
The reaping hangs heavy as always, but it’s their final one. School is coming to an end and the loan for the bakery is secured. It’s perfect… or at least it should be. But something is off; Katniss has been distracted lately and he’s afraid to ask
“What if one of us is reaped?” She says, opening her eyes to look up at him.
He groans, “let’s not do this, Please? I think we’ve been through every possible scenario. I don’t want to spend our night as hypothetical tributes.”
What-if is a game they play sometimes. It started back when he’d been too nervous to ask her out. Instead of asking her directly, he’d said ‘what if I asked you out?’ He’d felt like a coward, but she’d found it endearing. Now they use it to tease and allay fears they're too scared to say otherwise.
The reaping what-ifs are common enough. Regardless, their what-ifs always end with the two of them together, whether it’s through mutual sacrifice or a rebellion that ends the games forever.
“Okay,” she nods and closes her eyes.
But he can feel the tension radiating from her. He watches her swallow. Panic begins to rise, is she looking for a way out? To what-if her way out of the relationship the same way he’d what-ifed into it? Things were finally falling into place. He’d close on the bakery the day after the reaping and had planned to ask her to marry him before the ink dried; As soon as there was no way his mother could withhold her signature. He’d all but told her that, but maybe she was having second thoughts? The bakery without Katniss to share it would be a bitter victory.
She takes a deep breath and he holds his own, “What if I’m pregnant?”
A moment passes as he processes. “Katniss?”
“Just play the game Peeta.”
He licks his lips, his heart in his throat as he tries to temper his joy… and terror. He wants to scoop her into his arms; hold her and kiss her then sprint to the justice building to make it official, but he needs to be sure they’re on the same page, “What if it’s not what you wanted?” he asks.
She opens her eyes to scowl at him, “Are you trying to say you don’t want this?”
“Not at all. You were the one who wanted to play.”
“Fine,” She snaps. “But you answer first: What if it’s not what you wanted?”
“That’s not a fair question. The only reason I wouldn’t want a child of ours is if you didn’t,” he tries not to imagine what a similar conversation between his parents looked like all those years ago. “Katniss, I love you. I want to spend every moment of the rest of my life with you. A child won’t change that, even if it came earlier than we’d planned or never at all. But I still need to know so I can help: what if it’s not what you wanted?”
She sits up to look him in the eye. “I could never not want this either,” she says before launching herself into his arms.
They’re both trembling as he envelops her in his embrace and he releases a shaky laugh, the product of his nerves. “What if I asked you to marry me right now?” he says into her hair when he’s found his voice again.
“What if I said I still want to keep us - the three of us - quiet until after the papers go through?
He sighs, “Then what if I waited to ask until it doesn’t have to be a secret?”
She nods, “I don’t want you to be a secret either, you know? I just don’t want you to lose your livelihood because of me.”
He’d do it in an instant and she knows it. They’ve what-ifed themselves a life in the Seam as well as on the run past the fence; anywhere, anyway as long as they're together.
She lays back down on the grass, taking up her previous spot. She picks up his hand to hold over her still flat midsection and closes her eyes. He caresses her stomach as he imagines doing the same in their home come July. “What if it’s a girl?” he muses.
She smiles, “What if she has your eyes?”
“And your voice?”
“And your smile?” she says, peeking an eye open to watch as his smile brightens.
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alice-after-dark · 5 months ago
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Inspired by @hiemaldesirae's deer sinner Vox designs (1 | 2) and his Attic-Wife Vox AU
My brain got away from me and this is a thing now.
Wrote this instead of working on my wip oops sorry
Alastor stumbles across a very peculiar scene one day - another deer demon, currently pressed into the ground by a foot on his back and cornered gang of loan sharks in a side alley. He's freshly fallen, he reeks of it. He also smells of something else, like...ozone and something burning. One of the sharks holds a black chain that wraps around the new Sinner's neck.
Ah, it appears the freshling has already gotten himself wrapped up in an unfortunate deal and he seems none too please with it. The blue deer is snarling, baring sharp teeth and glaring up at his captors. And Alastor sees it. They are small, hardly anything, but the Sinner is sparking, blue bursts rippling over his frame as he struggles.
The sharks are too busy talking about what to do with their new prize to notice. They ponder selling him to a butcher ("I hear venison fetches a pretty penny these days") or perhaps the current Overlord of the sex industry, a lecherous bull with a notorious taste for freshlings.
No, Alastor decides for them that neither of these options will do. He will not leave such raw, untapped potential in the clutches of these buffoons. He approaches.
The idiots are thankfully not foolish enough to attempt to deny him what he wants (and oh but greedy things are so easy to manipulate) and soon enough he is leaving with the strange Sinner in tow, a now brightly glowing green chain secured around his throat. He has said nothing thus far, only clutching at the chain like a petulant child and glaring at Alastor's back as they walk to the Radio Demon's townhouse on the edge of the district, just bordering Cannibal Town.
Setting his new acquisition on the couch with a firm order to "stay," Alastor sets towards the kitchen.
"Coffee or tea, my dear?"
The question startles the blue deer and Alastor finally gets to hear his lovely voice. "What?"
Alastor hums. "It really is a simple question, darling. I hardly think it warrants repeating."
The freshling fidgets in his seat before finally requesting a coffee.
Alastor watches him while he prepares their drinks. He is a lovely thing, if not a little odd. Where his antlers should be are instead antenna. He's a little on the scrawny side and likely hasn't eaten much since the Fall. He is wearing a tattered suit that sits a little too large on him and he could definitely use a proper bath. The Radio Demon considers that he's probably been on the streets since his arrival in Hell. His bravado has started to fade now, replaced with uneasiness and a hyperawareness particularly reminiscent of the prey animal they both embody.
The red deer returns to the living room with their drinks and doesn't miss the slight scrunch of the Sinner's nose when he takes his first sip. "Is it not to your liking?"
The Sinner tenses and starts to mumble excuses until Alastor's seizes him by his jaw and forces their eyes to meet.
"Do not lie to me."
Blue ears flatten against the freshling's hair. "I...it's fine...I just usually use cream and sugar, that's all. It's totally fine."
Alastor scoffed. "Why didn't you say so?" He waves his hand and summons a tray with a small pitcher of cream, a sugar bowl, and a plate of biscuits for good measure. He really was much too thin. Typically he would have preferred to have made them himself, but he hadn't been expecting company. "There, help yourself."
"Why are you being so nice to me?" the blue deer challenges. "No one has been this nice to me since I got here, so why?"
Alastor considered for a moment. "Well, I suppose you haven't given me a reason to be cruel to you yet. Would you like to?"
"No!" the freshling said quickly. "No, I..."
"Then there's nothing to be concerned over. Now eat, darling. It may not kill you, but I can assure you starvation is not a pleasant experience." Of course, he wasn't speaking from personal experience, but he'd witnessed it enough to make the assumption.
The Sinner doesn't respond, only nods and takes a biscuit from the tray. His movements are slow and cautious as he adds the cream and sugar to his coffee and he hunches inward, as though trying to make himself small. Alastor leaves it for now and sips his tea. He can feel it even from his perch on the other side of the couch, the power thrumming under the Sinner's skin. He wants to taste it, but no. That will come later. First he must get this man to trust him, rely on him, then he will make his move.
Once their cups are empty and the blue deer has eaten (though not without an absurd amount of prompting) an adequate amount of biscuits for Alastor to be temporarily satisfied (they will work on this, certainly), the Radio Demon brings him upstairs to the room that has been forming and arranging itself all this time. It is elegant and warm, doused in rich dark reds and mahogany. The signal he has been steadily pumping out is already having its intended effect. The freshling follows him sluggishly into the room, eyes lidded and unfocused. It takes nothing at all to guide him to the bed.
Alastor banishes the ruined items that passed for clothing without a second though, replacing them with a soft nightgown. Much better. It compliments the Sinner so much more than that ugly suit. The Sinner doesn't even seem to notice, too far gone to focus.
When Alastor has settled him under the covers, he sets the record player to a soft melody and leaves. Passing his hand over the door, he hears the lock click as several arcane runes glow bright across the wooden surface. An extra precaution. He hums the tune drifting from the room as he heads towards his study.
What a fun new pet he has found.
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chaifootsteps · 2 months ago
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if that leak is accurate that Stella and/or Andrealphus are going to die in the s2 finale, it's going to make parts of the fandom dogpiling on Octavia look even more ridiculous
like she just lost her mother and possibly her uncle because her father's affair partner (as far as she knows) just murdered one or both of them and she maybe also had to get involved herself by making the incredibly traumatic choice of saving her father's life from her mother/uncle by potentially hurting and killing them both
and she just discovered she has incredible magic powers which her father has not prepared her to use or handle at all
and to top it all off as far as she knows her father broke his promise not to leave her for Blitzo. like even if Viv goes the route of 'Stolas is kicked out of the palace as consequences for lending out his book', Stolas still bears responsibility for that. He did break his promise to be there for Via when he decided to risk his nobility and titles on sexually extorting someone with his grimoire (a grimoire that's also her inheritance) - he keeps talking about breaking demon law so he knew the risks. that'd be the same if he'd made the more sympathetic choice of having a business arrangement with Blitzo to loan him the book instead of exorting him for sex. and he could have avoided all of this if he'd tried to get Blitzo a crystal in the first place, since he knew full well they existed
and when Via's understandably upset by all of this Stolas doesn't validate any of those feelings but just tells her she 'doesn't understand' and he didn't leave her (presumably Viv is going to pull a 'Stolas tried to call but couldn't get through bcus Stella' to get Stolas out of this, despite all the stuff I mentioned with the book above being entirely his fault).
He tells her she's the best thing in his life but doesn't address any of the ways he's completely failed her - didn't stop having a monthly fling when he knew how upsetting she found it, didn't teach her enough magic if any magic at all, didn't take her away from Stella even though the situation was miserable for everyone involved, didn't explain the arranged marriage situation when she got old enough, didn't bother telling her Stella tried to assassinate him, didn't bother to beef up security to protect her while he was busy negging Blitzo, presumably got distracted again when Blitzo finally folds and gives him the love he wants, etc.
like objectively he's a terrible father even if Stella is worse, but the fandom thinks Via should just be able to switch off caring about Stella at the drop of a hat for Stolas' benefit, even though it's Stolas' fault she'd be attached to her mother because he chose to try and play house for 17 yrs
like supposing Stolas was around Via's age when they first had Via it's understandable he wouldn't know the perfect thing to do. but he was definitely an adult when she was around 5-7 years old and was presumably well aware Stella had been a nightmare for most of that time, yet he insisted the family stay together
it's such a huge lack of empathy and understanding of how abuse works that even if Via had some awareness that Stella is the worst, she'd probably still have mixed feelings about losing her mother. most children struggle to break off attachments with abusive parents because of the good times and because they still love them and want them to be the person they hoped
and Via is facing that exact issue with both Stolas and Stella. it's unreasonable to expect her to immediately be on Stolas' side if the fandom is also arguing he managed to hide what Stella was really like from her for so long - and how would she even know he's telling the truth if he does finally tell her? he's lied to her and let her down before and it'd be very convenient for him to blame Stella for everything (including lending out the book, which was completely his choice) - it's not uncommon for divorcing parents to demand their child's allegiance by throwing the other parent under the bus, after all
Those are all excellent points, and if it does pan out according to the leak, it's not going to matter a particle to this fandom. They're going to rip into that broken, hurt, grieving child like a swarm of lampreys.
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royalteachitchat · 10 months ago
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Wow! 👏👏👏 JDEadonWriter on X, put this amazing post out today. Check this out!
Are Meghan Markle's kids FAKE? 🤔
Megnant
1 Size: Bump drastically altering in size, even in a single day 😯
2 Slip: Bump slipped down to her knees in Birkenhead, UK 😯
3 Wobble: Bump wobbled side-to-side as she crossed the street. 😯
4 Clutching: Supporting her bump with her hands overly often. 🤔
5 Popping: audibly popped in a video, and wafted her clothes😯
6 Shape: Bump unnaturally shaped on Netflix🤔
7 Straps: Moonbump straps outlines visible under clothing in several photos. And something snapped, impacting the clothing fabric (video of H&M in London)😯
8 Biology: An absence of swelling of ankles, and other subtle biological (non)signs.🤔
9 Holding: Carrying a (doll?) infant on her bump, instead of on her hip.🤔
10 Squats: Squatting, effortlessly, with her knees together in videos and photos. In heels.😯
Births
11 Announcements: Royal official birth announcements are indirect. One states they are delighted "by the news of the" (not by the actual) birth.🤔
12 Coverup? A medic who certified a birth closed down her practice shortly afterwards.😯
13 Certificates: Questions linger over the birth certificates signatures, etc.🤔
14 Leak: An official Royal twitter account tweet indicated that Meghan’s kids are fake, before being taken down. An innocent prank?😁
15 Recovery: Epidural (ouch!) birth in a bath description anomalies and arriving home too soon afterwards to be quite plausible.🤔
16 Born Of Body?: Meghan allegedly told a friend she was infertile, when at college, and there was a reported alleged hysterectomy before the births.
17 Silence: Meghan is silent on her claimed births, despite always flashing her bump; having a "Capacity for over sharing"; boasting about being a “Mom”, and always talking about herself (apparently) on her feminist podcast. 🤔
Rented Infants
18 Archie Model: The real parents of the infant predominantly shown in Archie photos are identified. 💥
19 Lilibet Model: Parents of the infant shown in Lilibet photos are identified.💥
20 Loan: Mother of “Lilibet” commented on Insta that she does not "loan" her daughter to Meghan any longer.😯
21 Shape-Shifting: Different infants used in photos of both Archie and Lilibet.😯
22 Photoshopping: A litany of incompetently-photoshopped “family” photos. (A huge topic in itself).🤔
Dolls
23 Reborn Doll: Seemingly cradling a doll (a product called Darren) in official photo of Archie 🪆
24 Party Doll: Meghan seemingly cradled a similar doll when gate-crashing a polo match party, begetting astonished looks.😯
25 Bumpy Ride: Meghan seemed to be lugging an inanimate doll on top of her bump through some woods in Canada. Whilst grinning at a hired pap.🪆
26 Twisted: In one photograph, Archie's head is twisted more than 90 degrees 🪆
27 Carrying: A high % of photographs show them carrying the “kids” 🪆
28 Backs-Turned: A high % of Photos are of kids facing away from the camera 🤔
Other Oddities
29 Website: A startling absence of updates of Royal website on Meghan’s offspring.🤔
30 Bishop: Los Angeles christening cleric was not the official Bishop the Harkles claimed he was.🤔
31 Implausible Platitudes: Claiming Archie’s first word was “Crocodile”, and that he demands a Leica camera for his birthday. As tots do...🤔
32 Merch: An uncharacteristic unwillingness to merchandise their kids, for $$$ or PR.🤔
33 Invisible: The Harkles are never seen with their kids. There are hints of "home schooling" (will they ever be allowed out?)😯
34 Family Holidays: Weirdly, the Harkles never take their kids on holiday, and, if they pretend they did, they incompetently photoshop them into pap snaps on Insta.🤔
35 Everything Else: All the stuff I overlooked in this hastily speed-typed list.🤔
🤔🤔🤔
Why does it matter? 🤔
Because rich Prince Harry wants we skint, long-suffering tax payers, to pay for his security expenses; he’s a traitor, and, well, it’s fraud, isn’t it? 💥
Feel free to leave evidence I missed out in the comments. 👍
#MeghanMarkleIsAGrifter
#MeghanMarkleExposed
#WhereAreTheKids
#sussexbabyscam
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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years ago
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When you hear "fintech," think "unlicensed bank"
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Tomorrow (May 2) I’ll be in Portland at the Cedar Hills Powell’s with Andy Baio for my new novel, Red Team Blues.
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In theory, patents are for novel, useful inventions that aren’t obvious “to a skilled practitioner of the art.” But as computers ate our society, grifters began to receive patents for “doing something we’ve done for centuries…with a computer.” “With a computer”: those three words had the power to cloud patent examiners’ minds.
If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/01/usury/#tech-exceptionalism
Patent trolls — who secure “with a computer” patents and then extract ransoms from people doing normal things on threat of a lawsuit — are an underappreciated form of “tech exceptionalism.” Normally, “tech exceptionalism” refers to bros who wave away things like privacy invasions by arguing that “with a computer” makes it all different.
These tech exceptionalists are the legit face of tech exceptionalism, the Forbes 30 Under 30 set. They’re grifters, but they’re celebrated grifters. There’s a whole bottom-feeding sludge of tech exceptionalists that don’t get the same kind of attention, like patent trolls.
Oh, and the fintech industry.
As Riley Quinn says, “when you hear ‘fintech,’ think: ‘unlicensed bank.’” The majority of fintech “innovation” consists of adding “with a computer” to highly regulated activities and declaring them to be unregulated (and, in the case of crypto, unregulatable).
There are a lot of heavily regulated financial activities, like dealing in securities (something the crypto industry is definitely doing and claims it isn’t). Most people don’t buy or sell securities regularly — indeed, most Americans own little or no stocks.
But you know what regulated financial activity a lot of Americans participate in?
Going into debt.
As wages stagnate and the price of housing, medical care, childcare, transportation and education soar, Americans fund their consumption with debt. Trillions of dollars’ worth of debt. Many of us are privileged to borrow money by walking into a bank and asking for a loan, but millions of Americans are denied that genteel experience.
Instead, working Americans increasingly rely on payday lenders and other usurers who charge sky-high interest rates, on top of penalties and fees, trapping borrowers in an endless cycle of indebtedness. This is an historical sign of a civilization in decline: productive workers require loans to engage in useful activities. Normally, the activity pans out — the crop comes in, say — and the debt is repaid.
But eventually, you’ll get a bad beat. The crop fails, the workshop burns down, a pandemic shuts down production. Instead of paying off your debt, you have to roll it over. Now, you’re in an even worse situation, and the next time you catch a bad break, you go further into debt. Over time, all production comes under the control of creditors.
The historical answer to this is jubilee: a regular wiping-away of all debt. While this was often dressed up in moral language, there was an absolutely practical rationale for it. Without jubilee, eventually, all the farmers stop growing food so that they can grow ornamental flowers for their creditors’ tables. Then, as starvation sets in, civilization collapses:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/08/jubilant/#construire-des-passerelles
As the debt historian Michael Hudson says, “Debts that can’t be paid, won’t be paid.” Without jubilee, indebtedness becomes a chronic and inescapable condition. As more and more creditors attach their claims to debtors’ assets, they have to compete with one another to terrorize the debtor into paying them off, first. One creditor might threaten to garnish your paycheck. Another, to repossess your car. Another, to evict you from your home. Another, to break your arm. Debts that can’t be paid, won’t be paid — but when you have a choice between a broken arm and stealing from your kid’s college fund or the cash-register, maybe the debt can be paid…a little. Of course, digital tools offer all kinds of exciting new tools for arm-breakers — immobilizing your car, say, or deleting the apps on your phone, starting with the ones you use most often:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/02/innovation-unlocks-markets/#digital-arm-breakers
Under Trump, payday lenders romped through America. A lobbyist for the payday lenders became a top Trump lawyer:
https://theintercept.com/2017/11/27/white-house-memo-justifying-cfpb-takeover-was-written-by-payday-lender-attorney/
This lobbyist then oversaw Trump’s appointment of a Consumer Finance Protection Bureau boss who deregulated payday lenders, opening the door to triple digit interest rates:
https://www.latimes.com/business/lazarus/la-fi-lazarus-cfpb-payday-lenders-20180119-story.html
To justify this, the payday loan industry found corruptible academics and paid them to write papers defending payday loans as “inclusive.” These papers were secretly co-authored by payday loan industry lobbyists:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/02/25/how-payday-lending-industry-insider-tilted-academic-research-its-favor/
Of course, Trump doesn’t read academic papers, so the payday lenders also moved their annual conference to a Trump resort, writing the President a check for $1m:
https://www.propublica.org/article/trump-inc-podcast-payday-lenders-spent-1-million-at-a-trump-resort-and-cashed-in
Biden plugged many of the cracks that Trump created in the firewalls that guard against predatory lenders. Most significantly, he moved Rohit Chopra from the FTC to the CFPB, where, as director, he has overseen a determined effort to rein in the sector. As the CFPB re-establishes regulation, the fintech industry has moved in to add “with a computer” to many regulated activities and so declare them beyond regulation.
One fintech “innovation” is the creation of a “direct to consumer Earned Wage Access” product. Earned Wage Access is just a fancy term for a program some employers offer whereby workers can get paid ahead of payday for the hours they’ve already worked. The direct-to-consumer EWA offers loans without verifying that the borrower has money coming in. Companies like Earnin claim that their faux EWA services are free, but in practice, everyone who uses the service pays for the “Lightning Speed” upsell.
Of course they do. Earnin charges sky-high interest rates and twists borrowers’ arms into leaving a “tip” for the service (yes, they expect you to tip your loan-shark!). Anyone desperate enough to pay triple-digit interest rates and tip the service for originating their loan is desperate and needs to the money now:
https://prospect.org/power/05-01-2023-fintech-ewa-payday-loan-scam/
EWA annual interest rates sit around 300%. The average EWA borrower uses the service two or three times every month. EWA CEOs and lobbyists claim that they’re banking the unbanked — but the reality is that they’re acting as sticky-fingered brokers between banks and young, poor workers, marking up traditional bank services.
This fact is rarely mentioned when EWA companies lobby state legislatures seeking to be exempted from usury rules that are supposed to curb predatory lenders. In Vermont, Earnin wants an exemption from the state’s 18% interest rate cap — remember, the true APR for EWA loans is about 300%.
In Texas, payday lenders are classed as loan brokers, not loan originators and are thus able to avoid the state’s usury caps. EWAs are lobbying the Texas legislature for further exemptions from state money-transmitter and usury limit laws, principally on the strength of the “it’s different: we do it with a computer” logic.
But as Jarod Facundo writes for The American Prospect, quoting Monica Burks from the Center for Responsible Lending, a loan is a loan even if it’s with a computer: “The industry is trying to create a new definition for what a loan is in order to exempt themselves from existing consumer protection laws… When you offer someone a portion of money on the promise that they will repay it, and often that repayment will be accompanied with fees or charges or interest, that’s what a loan is.”
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[Image ID: A stately, columnated bank building, bedecked in garish payday lender signs.]
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