#season 7 episode 7 dark page

[zoe-oneesama]

How do you not suffer like soul-crushing burn out and exhaustion from making so much content so quickly? Like that seems like something that would degrade the quality of your work over time and basically incinerate a person. How do you avoid that?

For Scarlet Lady specifically, I didn't even start publishing pages until I had the entire "Origins" episode drawn, lined, and "colored". Back then, I was posting two pages a week, so that bought me about a month to work on the next part. I self-imposed a rule that I needed to draw at least one new page for every page that was posted, so I was never less than 7 pages ahead.

At one point, I changed how I was planning chapters - in "Origins - Part 1", "Origins - Part 2", "Stormy Weather", and "Bubbler" were all made using my old method of "write a page when you think of a joke" method. When I got to "Lady Wifi", I started planning the whole chapter start to finish with an overall plot and then making the script with jokes after the general episode was planned, which overall sped up my work.

Soon I was full episodes ahead of what was being posted. I was able to increase posting to three times a week and it wouldn't bite into my headway.

When I hit "Volpina", my favorite episode to work on, I had so much fun that I was finishing two pages a day. And then it happened again in "Dark Cupid". And again and again and before I knew it, I was like half a season ahead of what was being posted.

When I went through bouts of burnout, I had plenty of headway to take a break. I know mine isn't a perfect model to replicate for everyone, and there's certainly pitfalls (like canon adding something that changes a joke I made two months ago, or new lore dropping, or not being able to immediately implement reader feedback where it's warranted), but for burnout, it worked for me.

[okay-j-hannah]

Part 1: Her Broken Heart

Teen Wolf : Multishot

Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Word Count: 10.1k

Warnings: series rewrite, start of season 1 {aka 2011}, slow burn, strangers to friends, friends to lovers, eventual pining, eventual NSFW, usual teen wolf levels of violence and gore, heart conditions, health problems, lightheadedness, fainting

Request: This just came from my own head 😊

A/N: Just a note that the reader will be in the dark for a while, meaning that lots of episodes/scenes will be skipped. Also, the heart conditions/problems the reader has comes solely from extensive research and isn't meant to be completely accurate - I did my best.

Part 1: Her Broken Heart {You Are Here}

Part 2: A Lacrosse Boyfriend

Part 3: Blue Handprints

Part 4: Ollie's Catnip

Part 5: Mieczyslaw

Part 6: Orange Cream and Peachy Sugar

Part 7: The Summer Filter

Part 8: The Favor

You walk purposefully to your last class of the day, holding onto the straps of your backpack like your life depended on it. New school. Old town.

It was just so noisy.

The squeak of your sneakers was drowned by the bustle of the dozens of highschoolers weaving through the hallways. Side conversations rose in volume, laughter was piercing, lockers slammed metallically, and the morning bell rang with a sharp noise.

You avoid rubbing shoulders with your peers, but inevitably a lacrosse player rams into your side while chasing a ball. You put a hand protectively to your chest, a glimmer of pain dancing across your ribs.

Breathe, you remind yourself. Just breathe.

Walking into English, you eye the rapidly filling seats. You recognize most faces even if they don’t recognize yours. A few skittish steps forward and you spot the dark silhouette of Scott McCall.

The uneven beating of your heart seems to lessen at someone you could at least talk to amicably. He appears to feel the same as he finds your gaze and smiles crookedly.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he whispers encouragingly. “It’s nice to see you finally at school.”

You smile back, “Thanks, it’s good to be out and about.” You pick the desk beside him, closest to the window. “There’s a lot of people here.”

Scott laughs, “What did you expect?”

“Less than this,” you say, thumbing the syllabus in front of you. “I thought Beacon Hills was a small city.”

You hear a cough directly behind you, fingers drumming against the metal desk surface. You flit your gaze to Scott, but he merely rolls his eyes.

“(Y/N), this is Stiles. Stiles… meet (Y/N).”

You turn in your seat to see a closely shaved head, wrinkled hoodie, and widening brown eyes.

“Uh… hi,” he says.

You swallow hard, “Hello.” Your brow furrows, “You’re Scott’s best friend.”

Stiles nods, playing with his fingers, “Yeah, for years. And you are…?”

“Another friend,” Scott interjects, “Friend of the family.”

You feel warmth as Stiles leans forward in his seat, “A friend that I’ve never heard about?”

That made your stomach clench. Of course you didn’t have many close friends, more acquaintances than anything else, but it still scared you to think you’d be judged on that fact.

“We don’t talk much,” you say quietly, turning back around.

Scott had what you hoped wasn’t a pitying look in his eye when he got distracted by neighbors ruffling through papers; then to a pencil dropping; then to a charm bracelet clanking against a desk. With each new noise his head was whipping about.

You tried to read the first page of your syllabus when a gentle tap on your shoulder startles you. You contained the jump in your heart as you turned towards Stiles.

He spoke with a soft but urgent voice, “Are you new to the town?”

“No,” you answer shortly.

“Then how come I’ve never seen you at school before?”

“I was homeschooled until this year.” The anxious fist in your stomach continues to clench further. “I’ve lived here almost all my life.”

He continues to lean forward as the teacher rose to address the class. “How do you know Scott?”

“Our parents are friends.”

“How come he’s never mentioned you before?”

You give a breathy laugh, “Do you always interrogate newcomers or is this just your usual charm?”

He finally leans back in his seat, “I like a good mystery.”

Your smiling reply makes the corner of Stiles’ mouth quirk upward, just as the teacher declares:

“Stiles, are we really going to end the day with a detention?”

Stiles looks up, frowning, “No, sir – just welcoming a new face.”

“Yes, Miss. Westbrook. I’d suggest surrounding yourself with different company. We don’t want a tainted reputation now, would we?”

Scott put a hand to his mouth, stifling a laugh as Stiles lifted his arms in silent outrage. You are stunned but feel a giggle rise in your chest.

The teacher continues, “As you all know, there indeed was a body found in the woods last night.”

The laughter in your chest dies in a cough as you replay the teachers unfeeling words in your mind.

“And I am sure your eager little minds are coming up with various macabre scenarios as to what happened. But I am here to tell you that the police have a suspect in custody, which means you can give your undivided attention to the syllabus which is on your desk outlining this semester.”

There was a collective groan, but you had already started dating the semesters projects in your academic calendar. The different books you’d be reading were some of your favorite classics: The Scarlet Pimpernel, Jane Eyre, The Count of Monte Cristo, and Sense and Sensibility.

You could already see the outline for your midterm paper on the differences between loving with sense and loving with sensibility.

Then the classroom door opened, and a pretty girl walked in with someone from the office.

“Class, this is our new student Allison Argent.”

You silently thanked the heavens that you weren’t introduced like that to the entire sophomore class. But the introduction intrigued you. Perhaps you could befriend this new student as you were somewhat new yourself.

You met her quickly by her locker after class.

“Hello,” you say in your gentle voice, “I’m (Y/N). I’m new to the school too.”

“Oh, thank god,” Allison says, “Just when I thought I’d never survive the first day.”

You grin, “New kids on the block need to stick together. How are you feeling about the move?”

“I’m used to it,” she says, leaning against the wall of lockers, “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m not new to the city, just the school. I was homeschooled before this. Jumping into the school year in January isn’t preferable, but it’s better than listening to your mom lecture about the Pythagorean theorem while doing the dishes.”

Allison laughs just as another girl walks over to introduce herself and her boyfriend. This new face, Lydia Martin, was clearly a commanding personality. And you quickly quiet yourself as she speaks to Allison.

“So, this weekend, there’s a party.”

“A party?” Allison says, taking a step closer to you.

The boyfriend, Jackson, adds, “Yeah, Friday night. You should come.”

Allison clearly didn’t want to go, judging by how she closed herself off and turned towards you. She fumbles for something to say as you note how the two popular kids never acknowledged your presence.

“Actually, we’ve already made plans for Friday night,” you say quickly, the beating of your heart increasing as Lydia made eye contact with you. “I’m helping her finish setting up her room.”

“Who are you?” Lydia asks, surveying you with her wide eyes.

Allison interjects, “This is (Y/N), she’s new to the school too.”

Lydia seems satisfied in her findings, “Pretty.” She pulls on both of your sleeves, “Let’s go to lacrosse practice.”

You panic, “Oh, no – I actually need to head to the library. The first day came with a lot of homework.” You curse the lines of judgment creasing Lydia’s brow. “I’m sorry, I need to catch up.”

“You need to pick, sweetheart. Beauty or brains. You can’t have both in this school.”

You believe that to be blatantly untrue, but you apologize again as Allison gets dragged off. You sigh, steadying your heartbeats. Your mother will be coming soon to pick you up anyway.

~~~

It was another long evening shift at the hospital working in the clinic. You assisted with logging patients in, taking their medical histories, noting their blood pressure, and administering medications.

You were currently disposing of some items in the sharps container when Nurse McCall came around with a dirty gown and gloves.

“(Y/N)!” she says cheerfully, “How are you?”

You smile, washing your hands in the nearby sink, “Tired, but that’s not unusual.”

She gave you a motherly look, eyeing you like the nurse she was. “How’s your breathing? Have you gotten lightheaded tonight?”

“Nope.” That was a lie. “I’ve been doing great. I worked through the line waiting in the clinic. Now I’ve just got to clean up before heading home.”

She raises her eyebrows, impressed. “I wish your work ethic came in a bottle. I’d give a dose to my son.”

“Oh, you should give Scott more credit. He’s working hard on the lacrosse team, I hear.”

“Have you two… has he been…”

You give a soft smile, “He’s been talking to me in class, yes. He’s been very kind to me.”

“Good,” that seems to relieve her. “I know you’re not the closest of friends but starting school in the middle of the year can’t be easy.”

“No,” you say with a sigh, “But I think I’ve made a few friends. Scott and Lydia and Allison…”

“So are you going to the party tomorrow night?”

You give a weak laugh, “I don’t think I’m made for parties, Melissa.”

“I mean,” she laughs too, “Scott is taking Allison to that party – I figured if you’re all friends now then…”

“Oh,” you compose yourself, “No, I’m not going.”

“Shame,” Melissa folds her arms, “I would’ve liked a trusted pair of eyes on my son. I tell you he’s gotten all squirrely since coming back from winter break.”

You shrug your shoulders, “I’ll check up on Allison to make sure she’s alright.”

Melissa leans over and rubs your arm, “You’ve been working like a madman since the summer. We’re all very impressed with you, (Y/N). But you have a habit of doing too much and telling us too little. You have to promise me you’ll be honest about how you’re feeling.”

You brush her off, “How many times have we had this conversation?” You take a step back, “I feel fine. The summer tuned me up. I feel I can do anything now.”

“I like the confidence,” Melissa says warmly, but she still held worry in her eyes. “I’m just looking out for you. I promised your mom.”

You grimace, “Has she been bombarding you much?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

The pair of you share a laugh, “I wish she’d stop worrying.”

“We all worry,” Melissa sighs, grabbing a new box of gloves for the nurses station. “That’s what happens when you have people that care about you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you walk around her, “I gotta go before my dad waits in the urgent care drop off too long.”

“Hey, about that…” Melissa calls after your retreating form. “I was thinking about your carpool situation and maybe you and Scott could drive together. You know – so you don’t have to rely on your parents as much.”

Anything to get more independence from your parents. “I didn’t think Scott had a car.”

“No, he doesn’t. He gets rides from his friend Stiles. Maybe you could join them?” She watches your expression grow anxious, “Or you could ask your new girl friends?”

“Yeah, right,” you snort, “Lydia and Allison live on the other side of town in those big important houses with the four-car garages.”

Melissa shrugs, “Then ask the boys. Stiles is a little… odd. But he’s a good kid.”

“Thanks, Melissa,” you give her a tired smile, “I’ll see you over the weekend.” You pull out your phone as you head to clock out.

Your connected watch reports to you the steady heartbeat you’ve had during the day – just two rapid spikes. Swiping away the health report, you text Allison and wait for her replies as you head towards your father’s car.

“So you’re actually going to the party?”

“What can I say… Scott asked me.”

You smirk, “I saw that coming a million miles away.”

“Sorry about our hangout though, I was going to tell you at school tomorrow.”

“It’s alright. I’ll just get started on the chemistry homework for next week.”

“You don’t want to come with us?”

You scoff, “And be a third wheel? No thank you.”

Your dad continues a conversation about your workday as he drove out of the hospital parking lot. “Any big cases come in?”

“No, nothing particularly stressful. Maybe one guy who was nervous around needles.”

“Good,” your dad says. “I’m proud of you sweetheart. And not a single fainting in five weeks.”

You lean your head against the window, suddenly glum, “Let’s hope it continues.”

~~~

Friday comes and you’re on the couch enjoying another read of Harry Potter. You were just getting to the confession scene in the Shrieking Shack when your mother came in with a cup of herbal tea.

“You seem a little quiet today,” she says, nestling into the opposite end of the couch.

“No more than usual,” you say, sipping the honey and herb concoction. “I usually spend Friday nights reading, mom.”

She nods, stirring her tea in thought, “Yes, usually. But in the last few months you’ve been branching out. Going to public school, getting a job at the hospital, making some new friends.”

“And while that’s all terribly exciting, I still enjoy a quiet evening with my books.”

“Of course,” your mother replies, “How have you been feeling?”

“Mom,” you groan, “I feel fine!”

She sat straighter, “You have had two dizzy spells this past week. It’s not a crime to ask how you’re doing.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, “I started school this week, I’m bound to be a little stressed about that, aren’t I? When I started my job at the hospital there were a few dizzy spells in the beginning, remember?”

“Yes, but you don’t tell us about them anymore. I have to pull up your watch readings to find out.”

“What’s the point? I can’t control them all. Sometimes they happen out of the blue.”

“Precisely,” she says louder, “Which is why it’s important to monitor them for your doctor’s appointments.”

You open your book in a huff, “Can we not talk about this anymore? It always puts the house in a mood.”

Your phone buzzes with a text from Allison. Your mother peers over your shoulder to see if it was a notification from your health app.

“Allison is getting a ride home from the party,” you whisper, texting a reply, “I wonder what happened with Scott.”

“Weren’t they on a date?” your mother asks, relaxed now that she knew the cause of your phone lighting up.

You shrug, “I thought so. I’m going to check on her. I’m sure she’ll want to vent.” You get up with your book and find your sneakers. “Could I have a sleepover?”

Your mother battled the rebuttal of keeping you at home – to coddle you with her security. “As long as you have your medication I don’t see why not.”

“I can drop her off on my way to the firehouse,” your father says, adorning his firefighter t-shirt and cargo pants. It would appear he had another overnight shift.

Fifteen minutes later you were outside the Argent residence, Allison waiting by the front door to welcome you with her frustrations.  

The home was tall with big, open rooms full of chandelier light. It was rich with mahogany browns and beamed ceilings. Allison was guiding you up the stairs after a quick introduction to her mother in the living room.

“I just don’t understand why he left me there,” she says with an edge, “I thought he liked me.”

“I think he does like you,” you say as you enter a beautifully decorated bedroom. “We have to remember he is a high school boy.”

Allison quirks a faint smile, “But to leave me at a strangers house… he has to know I’m new to the town. I don’t know anybody well enough to get some help! And I was not about to call my parents for a ride. That would’ve been reputation suicide.”

You clear your throat, recalling every instance your parents have carted you around, refusing to let you drive yourself. “Who gave you a ride anyway?”

“Someone named Derek Hale. He said he was a friend of Scott’s.”

You feel your uneven heartbeats pick up, “Derek Hale? He’s back in town?”

“Do you know him?”

“No, it’s just…” your mind wanders to old police reports your mother talked about and past newspapers on the dinner table. “There was a fire that burned up the Hale House years ago. Most of his family died in that fire. He hasn’t been seen for years.”

Allison crosses her arms, suddenly giving herself a kind of protective hug. “You mean, he isn’t a friend of Scott’s?”

“Not that I know of, but I’m as much of a new friend here as you are.”

“But Scott said you’re a friend of the family.”

“Yes, I do work with his mom at the hospital,” you fight to keep the Hale memories at the forefront of your mind. “But that doesn’t mean that I’ve hanged out with Scott much.”

Allison nods, still gripping her arms as creases of worry etch her face. “Why would Derek lie about being friends with Scott?”

“He didn’t try anything in the car, did he?”

“No!” she says quickly, “He was really kind, even held the door open for me. He just asked about my relationship with Scott.”

You could feel the beats in your chest stutter. They were loud in your ears, “What did you tell him?”

“Just that I met him this week. I got help from him at the veterinary clinic – I accidentally hit a dog – and he asked me to this party.”

You sit on her bed, afraid that your heart rate was increasing more, “Did Derek seem interested in just Scott?”

Allison thought about it for a few seconds before sitting in her desk chair, “Yeah, it was the only thing we talked about.”

“Which would make sense if that was the only thing you guys had in common.” You put a hand to your chest, hoping to steady yourself with some pressure. “But I still don’t think him and Scott have ever been close friends.”

“That’s slightly concerning,” she says with a shaky laugh.

You return it, trying to take a deep breath without making it too noticeable. “Other than the abrupt departure and unfortunate ride home… how are you and Scott?”

A genuine smile returns to Allison’s face, “He’s so sweet. You can just tell how nervous he is and it’s so cute. After being jumped by Lydia and her friends it was nice to meet someone more sincere.”

“Lydia can be a little overbearing,” you agree, checking your watch to see your heart rate drop to a more acceptable number. “And Scott really is a sweetheart. He can be a bit of a worrier, but I find those are the ones who care the most.”

Allison likes the calming reassurance until the sound of her mother’s voice pierced the air.

“Allison! It’s for you.”

The loudness prompts the two girls to their feet. Up on the walkway towards the staircase, the pair of you had a perfect view of the door… and the boy standing out in the cold.

“Stiles?” you say confusedly.

Allison’s mother left the door open as she returned to her spot in the living room. Stiles stood awkwardly under the porch light, “Uh… yeah, hi.”

“What’s going on?” you ask, leading the way down the stairs, “Is everything okay?”

“Is Scott okay?” Allison asks quickly, following you to the doorway.

Stiles rambled, hands on his hips, “Yeah! Yeah, Scott is fine.” His eyes lingered on you as he paused. You had an instant suspicion that he was lying. “He asked that I check up on Allison since he had to run out.”

“Well, I got home all right, no thanks to him,” she replied with a huff. “But he seemed off, like he was sick all of the sudden.”

Stiles took hold of the sudden excuse, “Yes! That’s what happened. Scott just got really sick out of nowhere, like really sick – like find me a bathroom right now kind of sick.”

You wrinkled your nose at his lack of a filter, “But you said he’s fine.”

“I mean, yeah now he’s fine,” Stiles said loudly, as if that would cover up his little slip. “He met with his mom at the hospital and she gave him some… treatment.”

Your pulse was picking up again at his obvious covering up, “You know what… I told Melissa I would stop by the hospital late tonight to get my new schedule. You just reminded me,” you smile easily, putting a hand to Allison’s arm. “Raincheck on that sleepover, I don’t want to keep Melissa up all night, especially if Scott isn’t feeling well.”

“Yeah, of course,” Allison said instantly, “And would you text me if you see Scott there?”

“Sure,” you smile, “Stiles?”

He looked to you with wide eyes, “Hm?”

“Could I get a ride?”

~~~

Stiles’ jeep was old and clanky, but in an endearing sort of way. You sat with your back more against the door than the seat, arms wrapped around yourself. Your heart hadn’t stopped beating rapidly. Any faster and you were worried about another attack.

“I’m sorry the heater doesn’t work,” Stiles said with a hint of embarrassment. He smacked the dashboard, “You look cold.”

“It’s alright,” you say quietly. You try to focus on the beats of your heart, willing them to calm down before you started to get lightheaded.

“You know what…” Stiles started to flail his arms around the wheel, trying to remove his suit jacket. He banged his head against the door before straightening out, “Here.”

You look at the outstretched jacket with endearment before quietly taking it, “Thank you.” You were much more graceful putting the jacket on, smiling at how Stiles mistook your concentration on your heart rate for being cold and uncomfortable.

“Now you need to tell me where Scott really is,” you say in your gentle tone.

Stiles suddenly gripped the steering wheel, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, Scott isn’t really at the hospital. And I know something is going on with Derek Hale because he lied to Allison. And I have a funny suspicion that you know more than you were telling us.”

There was a twitch in his fingers as Stiles thought about how much to reveal, “You’re right. Something’s wrong with Scott. I don’t know exactly what, but I think he ran off and got lost in the woods.”

“He didn’t give you any hint as to why he would do that?”

“He’s just been acting weird the last few days,” Stiles continued, driving slowly. “When I saw him leave tonight and Allison get picked up… I went after him. But he ran away.”

You wrap the suit jacket closely around you, giggling at how the wide shoulders stuck out on your own frame. It smelled wonderful.

“This calls for a search party.”

Stiles looked worried and frantic again, perhaps still hiding parts of the truth from you. “You don’t mind wandering the roads by the woods? I could still take you…”

“No, I want to help,” you say against your better judgement. Your heart rate still hadn’t gone down. “Let’s start on the north side closest to where the party was at.”

It was already past midnight by the time you started scouting the woods. You kept your eyes out the window, tightly bound in Stiles’ jacket. Your heart rate remained high, the lack of proper oxygen to your brain was starting to make you feel woozy.

Your mother was not going to be happy when she checked your watch monitor.

“Hey, you alright?” Stiles asked, “You need to sleep?”

You shook your head, wincing at the slow motion feeling it produced. “No, I can stay awake.”

“It’s not a problem, really. I can drop you off at home.”

“That’ll waste time when we could be searching.” You sit up straighter in an attempt to expand your lungs. “I just need to take a breath.”

Stiles kept looking towards you just as much as he was looking in the surrounding forests. “How close are you and Scott?”

“Not very,” you say, “I’ve met him a couple times with his mom. Our parents are closer than we are.”

“And you’ve lived here most of your life and yet I’ve never met you before.”

You smile, trying to anchor yourself in your surroundings. It was another attempt to control your heart rate.

The smell of Stiles’ jacket. The rough road beneath the tires. The stale, cold air of the jeep. The sound of Stiles’ investigative voice.

“I don’t get out much.”

He laughed, “Then why the sudden change?”

“I felt like it.”

“Woman of many words,” he smirked, “You said you knew Derek Hale lied to Allison. What do you know about the guy?”

You sigh, “Just a little about his past with the house fire. My mom was a part of the dispatch call that handled the case.”

“Wait, did you just say a dispatch call?” Stiles jumped in his seat, “As in, your mom is a police officer?”

“No,” you laugh at his quick movements, “She works at the front desk helping transfer calls between civilians and officers. She hasn’t been on the active force in many years.”

Stiles had a comical scrunch on his face as he thought for a few seconds, “Your mom is Angela Westbrook? Front desk Westbrook?”

You nod, a strange furrow in your brow, “And you know her because?”

“Because my dad is the town sheriff!”

“You’re a Stilinski?”

Stiles had a shock of energy zip through him, “Yes, a Stilinski! I can’t believe our parents work together.”

“Your dad has been to my house a few times,” you say, amazed at the connections. “I wonder why he never mentioned me.”

“I guess I knew Mrs. Westbrook had a daughter, I just didn’t realize we were the same age.”

The hours ticked by as the pair of you searched the woods by the road. You both thought you’d seen some flashlights and decided to avoid them. Stiles came up with the idea to search by foot away from the woods for a mile or so.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a spare flashlight in the back,” he unbuckled his seatbelt.

You sit straighter, “I mean, wasn’t there a dead body found out there earlier this week?”

“The police are handling it.” He steps out of the car to grab his flashlight.

You stay where you are, uncomfortable with the idea of standing up when your heart rate was so close to an attack. You were lightheaded enough that the rush of standing would not bode well.

Stiles came around the other side with an exaggerated expression on his face as he opened your car door. “Forgotten how to use the handle?”

“No, I’m just…” you tug on the jacket sleeves. “I’m a little lightheaded to be honest.”

“What do you mean?” his face fell into concern immediately, “Is something wrong?”

You smile shakily, “Not at all,” you lie through your teeth. “Just be prepared to catch me if I fall.”

Stiles seemed to take that with the most seriousness as he backed up and held out a hand, “I got you.”

You struggle to breathe as you clamber out of the vehicle. You hold tightly to Stiles’ outstretched hand and wait for the inevitable feeling of the blood rushing to your legs. Your head felt empty, and stars started to twinkle in front of your eyes.

Stiles held onto your hand and put an arm around your shoulders as you swayed, “Woah, you weren’t kidding. You alright?”

After a few seconds leaning into him, squeezing his fingers with light pressure, your breaths started to come easier. Your head became clearer.

���Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” You let go of him, checking your watch to see that your heart rate decreased to an acceptable amount.

Stiles backed away quickly, rubbing his hands awkwardly down his pants. He was hesitant to look at you when he replied, “No problem. Does that happen a lot?”

“Oh, you know…” you start venturing towards the tree line, “People get head rushes when they sit too long all the time.”

“Right,” Stiles said faintly, jogging to catch up to you. He clicked on the flashlight and aimed it towards the trees. It was dark and misty and cold. The pair of you kept hearing rustlings between the tree roots and bumping into each other.

You could have sworn you heard howls and growls, but it must’ve been the wind.

“Can I ask why you weren’t at the party?”

“You can, but the answer is boring.” You cross your arms, the too long sleeves engulfing your hands. “I don’t go to parties.”

“Because?”

“Because they make me lightheaded,” you say with a smile.

Stiles tried to pick that apart, but smiled, nonetheless. “You know the more I try to get to know you, the more confusing you become.”

“I thought you liked a good mystery.”

“I do,” Stiles confirmed, shining his flashlight up through tree branches, “I don’t like not knowing things.”

“Sorry, I’m a pretty tightly sealed book,” you shrug, “I can be very evasive.”

“And I can be very persuasive,” Stiles mocked, using a silly voice.

You bump into him again, sort of on purpose and less because you tumbled on a stray twig. “You already know plenty about me.”

“Let’s check the list, shall we?” he chuckled, “You were homeschooled. Your mom works at the station. You suffer from frequent lightheadedness. You don’t get out of the house much. And you’re already a part of the pretty girls club.”

“Excuse me?” you laugh, “The pretty girls club?”

Stiles kicked at the leaves, “Yeah, you know Lydia, Allison… you.”

“Stiles Stilinski, did you just call me pretty?”

He comically puffed out his chest, “In a roundabout way, yes I did.”

You chortle, “See you know a lot about me already. We’ve only known each other three days.”

“You’ll find I can be very determined, (Y/N),” Stiles sighed, “I’ll figure you out soon enough.”

They continued their way through the woods until they came back to the car. It did not go unnoticed that Stiles went to help you open the door and climb into the tall vehicle.

The morning light was starting to peek over the horizon by the time they got back to the roads. The pair of them were starting to grow more worried by the minute. It wasn’t a friendly search party anymore.

“I hope he’s okay,” you say quietly.

Stiles looked your way before resting his hand against the stick shift between you. “We’ll find him. Or he’ll text me as soon as he gets to a phone.”

You lean towards the dashboard, “I guess we’ll find him first.”

Walking along the side of the road, pants covered in dirt and his shirt missing, was Scott. He looked ruffled.

“What happened to him?” Stiles murmured as he pulled over.

“What happened to his shirt?” you say just as quietly. Stiles shot you a look as you strip yourself of his suit jacket.

Scott came to the door and looked shocked to see you handing over the coat. “(Y/N)?”

“Scott,” you say with a smile, “Get in.”

You scoot over to be in the middle. Stiles immediately yanked his arm away as your thigh got in the way of how he was resting his hand on the stick shift. You rubbed shoulders again as Scott got comfortable.

“Long night?” you ask.

Scott rubs at his eyes, banging his head against the window, “You have no idea.” He suddenly turns to you, pressing into your side, “How is Allison?”

“She’s fine,” you say, “I’m a little more worried about you.”

“You know what actually worries me the most?” he grumbles.

Stiles licks his lips, “If you say Allison, I’m gonna punch you in the head.”

“She probably hates me now,” Scott frowns, turning to you with regretful eyes.

You take pity on him, rubbing his shoulder, “She’s upset with you, but she doesn’t hate you.”

“But you might want to come up with a pretty amazing apology,” Stiles says candidly.

Scott groans, leaning against the headrest. You sit scrunched between them, almost scared to lean into either one. “I hear you were really sick last night. Though I don’t see how that explains your lack of clothing.”

“Night sweats,” Scott mumbles, “When I couldn’t sleep through it at home I decided to take a walk through the woods.”

“That’s a long walk,” you say, “Don’t worry, I’ll put a good word in for you with Allison.”

“Would you?” Scott says, looking at you like you were the answer to all of his prayers. “Could you make sure she knows how sorry I am?”

You pull out your phone to send that update text you promised her. “As long as you apologize in person too, I don’t see why not.”

“You’re an angel, (Y/N), thank you.” He bows his shaggy head to your shoulder before pouting against the headrest again.

“Could you drop me off a few blocks from my house? My parents think I’m sleeping over at Allison’s.”

Stiles nods, “Protective parents?”

“A little,” you smile.

“I’ll add that to the list,” he smirks. “I’ll have to open a full case file on you now.”

“That’ll be a dead end.”

Scott opens his eyes to peer at the pair of you, “Sounds like you two had as long of a night as I have.”

You yawn, “Stilinski here is trying to play high school detective. He’s on a role trying to figure out my criminal past.”

“Criminal you say,” Stiles drums his fingers against the steering wheel. “That’ll mean I need a corkboard and some red thread too.”

“What have you found out so far?” Scott muses, somewhat enjoying the change of subject.

“Not much.” Then Stiles points a finger at his best friend, “But you’ve known her longer than me – fess up. What do you know?”

Scott holds back a smile, “Did you figure out her mom works at your dads station?” After a swift nod he continues, “And that her dad is a firefighter?”

“Really?” Stiles says dramatically, “Any siblings?”

“Only child,” Scott continues, rubbing the tired from his eyes, “And she loves to read. Every time I saw her, she was always reading something.”

Stiles had a look of triumph on his face, as if it were a breakthrough in the case, “What book you reading right now?”

“Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.” You point the directions to your street, “I’m at the end when Lupin turns into a werewolf.”

“A what?” Scott says, shooting forward.

The friendly banter between you and Stiles suddenly shifts into surprise, “A werewolf. Haven’t you seen the movies?”

“Right,” he swallows hard, “It’s been a while.”

Stiles licks his lips again, “It’s ironic because last night was the full moon.”

“Oh, was it?” you hum, “That’s funny.”

~~~

You sleep off most of the weekend, having a lecture from your parents about the heart rate spike on Friday. You told them a night of rom coms and silly boy stories with Allison got you excited – that it was all fun and games.

You didn’t tell them you almost fainted because of it.

The next week was more enjoyable than the last. You excelled in your classes and spent your lunch periods reading in the library – you were already halfway through Sense and Sensibility for your midterm report.

Chemistry, History, and English were your favorite, most likely because your new friends were in those classes. Scott had become infatuated with Allison, especially after she had given him a second chance. Lydia was scheming something over her boyfriend being the captain of the lacrosse team. And Stiles was quickly becoming your highlight of each day.

He’d sit beside you during class and ask a personal question. “At least one a day,” he wagered, “I can ask at least one a day and get an answer.”

“As long as I reserve rights to refuse to answer any question.”

“I’m going to add those refusals to your case file.”

You’d roll your eyes, “Whatever you say, Stilinski.”

You were proud of the fact you hadn’t had another heart rate scare since the week before, meaning your body was adapting to the new stressful environment at school. That didn’t stop Stiles from insinuating you were going to have a lightheaded moment whenever you rose from your seat.

You never noticed how he prepared himself to grab you whenever you’d been sitting too long.

Chemistry had come around later in the week, you having arrived early to prepare the days experiment. Goggles adorning your face, you lit the Bunsen burner and tightened a flask of a chemical liquid above it.

Stiles skid over, sliding on his sneakers, “Hey, partner.” He threw his bag down and took the goggles you hand to him. He snaps them onto his face with a sharp, “ow.”

“I’ve started filling out the notes,” you say, observing how the liquid was starting to bubble with heat. “Why are you late?”

“I’m not late, you’re just early.” He sits on the stool beside you, resting his crossed arms on the tabletop. “Where were you at lunch today?”

You put a thermometer in the liquid, waiting for the right temperature, “In the library.”

“Is that where you always eat lunch?”

“You can’t eat food in the library, Stilinski.”

Stiles rubs at his nose fidgetily, “Scott and I were looking for you today.”

You pause, warmth filling your chest as you pour granules into the bubbling vial. “Sorry, I was reading for my book report.”

“(Y/N), book reports aren’t due for weeks.”

“Might as well get it done so we don’t have to worry about it,” you hum, writing down observations about the chemical reaction.

Stiles slumps a little, “Well, we missed you.”

“Scott just wants to gossip about what Allison thinks of him.”

“And what’s my excuse?”

You turn off the burner and remove the vial with tongs, “You’re trying to question me to continue your investigation.”

He sighs out a smile, “You’re right, of course. I haven’t asked you my question of the day yet.”

“I suppose I have no choice but to answer one,” you sigh with a smile on your face. “What do you have for me today?”

He was playing with his fingers when he asks, “Why do you spend lunch in the library rather than in the lunchroom with everyone else?”

You think about your answer carefully as you put away your supplies and let the vial cool down. “I don’t like being around a lot of people.”

“Why?” he presses.

You grab his goggles and snap them against his face, “Because it makes me lightheaded.”

He yelps and sways on his stool, “I’m beginning to think ‘lightheaded’ is code for something else.” He yanks the goggles from his face, and you snort at the deep lines they left around his eyes.

“Hey, there’s a science project that we need partners for,” you say as a way to change the subject. “Do you want to do it together?”

“(Y/N), we don’t have to do that project until the end of the semester.” He smiles at your antics of avoiding his questioning.

You shrug, “I like getting things done.”

He takes a deep breath, “Alright, at least I know I won’t fail the class if you’re helping me with the final project.”

After class the pair of you separate for final period, you heading to a different floor and running into someone at the bottom of the staircase. Someone tall and dark with light eyes.

That someone you recognize as Derek Hale.

You freeze on the last few steps, holding onto your backpack and feeling your heart beat unevenly again.

“You’re Derek.”

His face was cool and solemn, “What do you know about Scott McCall?”

“Why should I tell you?” Your arms erupt in goosebumps.

He steps closer, “Because I’m trying to help him. He needs to get it through his skull that I am not the enemy here. I need your influence in this.”

You hold back a scoff, fear overtaking that, “What business do you have with helping Scott?”

“Do you not know?” his eyes suddenly darken, “I thought you were one of his friends.”

“I am his friend,” you reply, “And I know people are suspicious of you.” A seed of doubt creeps up your spine, “I don’t like that a shady adult is creeping around the halls of a high school looking to make connections with students.”

He growls, actually growls much to your surprise. “I need you to tell Scott that I am here to help. I am innocent in whatever he thinks I’ve done.”

“What does he think you’ve done?” you ask quickly as Derek backs off.

“I can hear your uneven heart,” he says, turning around, “You should calm yourself.”

You put a hand to your chest, mouth agape at his retreating form. How the hell can he hear your heartbeat? A thrum of fear ripples through you as you run for your last class. You check the monitor on your watch until your heart rate was controlled before entering.

You didn’t see any of your friends until the next day. You were reading in the library over lunch again, finishing Sense and Sensibility and planning your report. You keep getting distracted by the whole situation with Derek and Scott.

What had the adult meant by befriending Scott? Why were you approached? What secret does Scott have that you didn’t know about?

You squeal as someone launches themselves over the library couch and sits beside you. Your cushion bounces as your heart leapt.

“Stiles!” you cry, “Don’t startle me like that!”

He nudges your shoulder, “Sorry, we were looking for you.”

Scott came around and sat on the arm of the couch, “It’s lunch.”

“Yes,” you say, “And I’m working on stuff in the library like I do every day.”

“No,” Stiles says, closing your book and stealing your pencil, “You’re going to join us for lunch today.”

You fight to get the pencil back, “I think I’ll just finish my report here.”

“(Y/N), there aren’t that many people in the lunchroom,” Scott says quietly, “And you’ll have us there.”

You stare Stiles down, “Did you tell Scott about my thing with lots of people?”

He shrugs sheepishly, “Come on, let’s go.” He waits as you stand, picking up your backpack for you. Scott led the way, nervous by how he wrung his hands.

“Has Allison talked about me lately?”

You shove his arm, “Scott, I can’t tell you everything we say during girl talk.”

“Girl talk?” Scott says in a panic, “I didn’t know about girl talk.”

“Yes, it’s where we drop all our juiciest secrets,” you snicker, “Including our thoughts on certain cute boys.” Scott points at himself, eyebrows raised, making you laugh. “Yes, Allison has been saying good things about you.”

Stiles matches your stride, “What about me?”

You look at him with a wide smile before leaning into Scott with another laugh.

“What? I’m a cute boy,” Stiles says, flabbergasted. “Aren’t I?”

They walk into the lunchroom that was still full of students. You spot Allison and Lydia sitting at the popular lacrosse table. Stiles, your backpack still on his shoulder, nudges you to one of the front tables.

Sitting down, Scott kept peering over at the back of Allison’s head. “See it’s not so bad in here, (Y/N).”

The patter of your heart would say differently, but you sit next to Stiles, nonetheless, pulling out your book report.

“I did mean to come talk to you guys about something that happened yesterday.” The boys lean in, eager for any strange story. “Derek Hale came to talk to me.”

Stiles slips out of his chair and crashes to the ground; Scott was stunned, “Derek Hale? Where?”

“On my way to my last class yesterday. He was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.”

Stiles crawls back onto his chair, winded, “He was inside the school? What did he want?”

You shrug, twiddling your pencil, “He wanted me to convince Scott that he was a friend. He said he was innocent, whatever that means.”

The boys share a look. You start outlining your report, “And I don’t know why but I think I believe him.”

“No, (Y/N), listen…” Stiles pulls on your shoulder so you would face him. “You cannot trust that guy. Whatever you do, do not be alone with him again, got it?”

“I don’t get it, why?”

Stiles licks his lips, urgent in the way he looks at you, “You need to trust me on this. If he tries to talk to you again, call me.”

“I would if I had your number,” you laugh. The boys pull out their phones immediately to exchange numbers. You snort at their seriousness, “If you wanted my number that bad you could’ve just asked instead of coming up with this elaborate Derek Hale story.”

“We’re not making it up,” Scott says, “That guy is dangerous.”

~~~

At the end of the week you were busy with your shift at the hospital. You had just finished checking on Jackson Whittemore who had a dislocated shoulder, and you were logging notes into the computer at the nurses station.

You were just updating a patient file when a hand slams onto the counter. You jump, clutching your chest.

“Jesus Christ, Stiles!”

Stiles was shocked at seeing you there, “Do you work here?”

“Yes, and for the love of god please announce your presence like every other normal human being and stop scaring the ever living daylights out of me!” It was a good thing they were in a hospital because your heart was about to give out.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says with wide eyes. He rubs at his face, hiding a smile, “This is how you know Scott’s mom so well.”

“Yeah, add it to my case file,” you wave a hand, fixing your scrub top, “Why are you here?”

His eyes linger at something on your chest, making him stutter, “Um… Scott and I were uh… coming to check up on Jackson.”

“That’s right, you’re all on the lacrosse team. I heard it was Scott that knocked Jackson’s shoulder out of place.”

“That would be correct,” Stiles laughs nervously, scratching at the back of his head. “Is he alright?”

You smirk, nodding towards the end of the hallway, “See for yourself.”

Lydia had come to pick Jackson up, and the pair of them were currently making out in the middle of the hall. You turn away, slightly nauseous, but Stiles keeps observing like he’s never seen a kiss before.

“She’s never been subtle,” you grimace.

His mind seemingly elsewhere, Stiles fumbles for something to occupy himself with as he waits. He picks up a pamphlet on the menstrual cycle.

“Where is Scott?”

Stiles was stuck on a diagram of the uterus, “Hm?”

“Scott,” you say again, staring at the pamphlet cover, “I thought you said you were both looking for Jackson.”

“He went to find his mom first.”

You squint your eyes, “Melissa’s shift ended two hours ago.”

“Could you explain to me the function of the fallopian tubes?”

You snatch the pamphlet away from him, “What are you two hiding?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Stiles says nervously, “Don’t you have other patients to see or something?”

“First Derek Hale is telling me that Scott is keeping a secret and then you’re here covering for Scott while he snoops…”

“Who said anything about snooping?”

You stand from your chair, leaning towards the counter and Stiles, “Listen, I’m glad we’re finally friends. I like you guys. But I won’t be lied to forever. I deserve better than that.”

Stiles feels his chest collapse a little, sinking in on himself. “I could say the same thing about you. You’re always keeping things to yourself and giving vague answers to my questions. What do you have to hide, hm?”

A pang of hurt hit your chest, “Stiles, I’ve never lied to you about anything. If I don’t want to answer a question outright because it’s too personal, I tell you so. I’ve never hid something from you deliberately by lying to you.”

Stiles bit his tongue, folding his arms defensively.

You let the hurt show on your face, “I think you and Scott have been lying to me for a long time. About the party that Scott ran out on. About why you checked up on Allison last week. About your trust issues with Derek Hale. About what you and Scott are doing in the hospital right now…”

The will to argue was gone in Stiles, he just looks defeated as he watches the hurt fill your face. “It’s been for your own protection.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you whisper angrily.

Scott suddenly appears by the counter, out of breath. “Hey…” he saw your face, “Oh, hey what’s up?”

“Find what you were looking for?” you ask sourly before returning to your keyboard.

Scott shares a look with Stiles before muttering, “Yeah, uh… Jackson’s alright.”

“He left a few minutes ago.”

Stiles turns around to see that Lydia and Jackson really had left. He tugs on Scott’s arm and gave an imploring look towards you.

“I promise we’ll explain everything eventually.”

You keep looking at your computer screen, ignoring the words. Stiles flickers his eyes to what he noticed on your chest, just along the edge of your scrubs. Scott knits his brow as he listens to what was unmistakably the uneven pounding of your rising heart rate.

Stiles led the way to the elevators, cursing himself and smashing the downward button.

“What was that about?” Scott whispers.

“(Y/N)’s mad at me,” he rubs at his eyes harshly, “Mad at us. She knows we’re hiding stuff from her.”

“For her own good.”

“Yeah, but she sees it as us lying to her. I don’t blame her for being upset. We’ve been pretty crappy friends keeping her at arm’s length.”

Scott frowns, walking into the elevator, “You forget that keeping her in the dark keeps her safe.”

“Well, not anymore with Derek roping her into it.” He leans against the wall, holding tight to the railing. “Did you notice the scar on her chest?”

“No,” Scott says, “But I did notice her heartbeat. It was all over the place. She must’ve been really upset.”

Stiles takes a deep breath, “Did you find anything in the morgue?”

~~~

The next evening you drove with your mother back to the hospital. You were still aching with the argument you had with Stiles. You knew something was going on between him and Scott, but you still didn’t know what.

Your mother sensed your mood and said in a cheery voice, “We made an arrest today about that woods murder.”

“Did you?” you say in a quiet tone.

“Yeah, Derek Hale. He’s been back in town for a couple weeks. I guess there was evidence on his burnt property.”

You close your eyes, thinking back to the warning about Hale. “Good thing you got him.”

“And then I got a strange call on dispatch today from the Sheriff’s son.”

“Stiles?” you say.

She hums, “He’s one strange kid.”

“Does he call dispatch often?”

“He’s not allowed to anymore, but he did call today about a dog sighting.”

You shake your head, “You’re right, he can be real strange.”

“Are you sure you can’t make the big game tonight?” your mother asks. “Everyone is going, even the Sheriff.”

“I can’t. I’m helping on Melissa’s floor since she took it off to see the game.”

“That’s right,” she replies, “Shame. I’m sure your friends would’ve liked to see you in the stands.”

You turn in your seat, staring your mother down, “I thought you’d object to me watching a heart racing game surrounded by loud, rowdy people, standing in the frigid cold air.”

She shrugs, “You’ve been proving yourself capable of handling your heart rate, even when it’s the spur of the moment.”

A sudden warmth creeps up your chest. Your mother was starting to trust you despite the illnesses. It was just enough of a mood shift to prompt you to text Scott and Stiles good luck at the game.

The shift was long and grueling; you were exhausted by the end of it. Another medical assistant drove you home late, no doubt long after the lacrosse game was over. You made a mental note to commend Melissa for handling such a difficult floor of the hospital.

Your mom had been called away because of a case update and your father was on an overnight shift at the firehouse again. You were quick to shower the nights worth of patient grime off your body and throw your scrubs right into the washer.

You were just applying lotion in your pajamas when something hit the glass of your window. Startled, you stood from your bed and waited for it to happen again.

A small pebble flew through the air and pings against your window.

Peering through the glass, you saw a disheveled, sweatshirt-wearing Stiles holding a handful of your garden rocks. He waves at you shyly as you struggle to slide the window open.

“What are you doing?”

Stiles holds up his hands, “Seeing if you were awake.”

“And you couldn’t think to text?” you say incredulously, “Put those rocks back.”

He threw his handful of rocks on your mothers tulips, “My phone died like an hour ago.”

You stood there, leaning on your windowsill, regarding him with a soft expression. He looks tired and scared, eyes looking up and imploring as he stuffs his hands in his pockets.

“Then what’s up?” you ask.

He swallows hard, the cold air making his breath come out in icy clouds. “I wanted to talk… about what you said yesterday.”

“How did you know where I live? You dropped me off at the end of the street, remember?”

“Well, yeah,” he chuckles, “And I just watched you walk to this house.” He scratches the back of his head, “Or maybe I looked up your mom on my dad’s computer and found her employee records.”

You nod your head slowly, “That sounds about right.”

“Can I… Can I come up?”

You bite at your lips, hair still wet from the shower. “Sure.”

It was like letting a dog off a leash. Stiles frantically jumps to the garden trellis growing on the front of your house. He struggles past the vines and up the wooden ladder, ignoring your calls of disapproval. He was huffing and puffing by the time he made it to the roof and next to your window.

“Stiles,” you say in your gentle voice, “My parents aren’t home. You could’ve come through the front door.”

His mouth was dry from panting in the cold night air, “Right, but that wouldn’t have been as impressive.”

You watch his fumbling figure fall from the window and onto your carpeted floor, “Yeah, that was real impressive, Stilinski.”

There was only a side table lamp on, lighting the bedroom in a soft peachy glow. You went to sit cross-legged on your bed, patting the covers in front of you for Stiles to sit.

He fixes his shirt, taking your offer before looking you in the eye. “(Y/N), I wanted to say that I was sorry.”

You look towards your hands, playing with the edge of your comfy pajama shirt. You could smell the fruity scent of your lotion still on your fingers.

“I didn’t realize our covering up was so obvious to you. We just wanted to protect you, but I guess it does seem like we betrayed your trust.” He keeps his eyes on you, waiting for you to look at him again, “When I got your good luck text I thought maybe there was still a chance you weren’t super angry with me.”

“Just a little,” you say quietly, giving him a soft smile.

“I wanted to tell you some things that we’ve been hiding from you,” he holds his hands up, “As a peace offering.”

You shake your head, “How generous of you.”

“The body that was found in the woods… Scott and I found it. Us visiting the hospital? That was Scott and I trying to find evidence on the partial body. Derek Hale? He had been seen on the property where we found the other half of the body. He was also in the woods with the first half. We were suspicious of him, and he was basically stalking us because of it.”

You listen carefully, your heartbeat was loud in your ears. “And when he came to talk to me?”

“That terrified us. We thought he was a murderer, and he was talking to you… alone.”

“You thought? My mom told me he was arrested today for the murder.”

Stiles rubs at his face with a tired hand, “Not anymore. The coroner’s said the cause of death was from an animal attack. And the victim was Laura Hale – Derek’s sister.”

“Must be nice having your dad be the sheriff,” you smile. “So Derek’s innocent like he told me he was.”

“I still don’t trust him. He’s not telling us everything. And since we’ve gotten him thrown in jail, my guess is he’s not very happy with us.”

You nod, your head clearer than it was at the beginning of the week.

“Is that everything you’ve been hiding?”

Stiles licks his lips, a nervous habit you’re realizing. “Do you remember when you said you don’t lie, you’re just honest about not sharing the whole truth?” At your nod he continues, “There is one more thing, but it’s not fully my thing to tell. We want to tell you, but it’s not exactly safe at the moment.”

You take the cryptic words and stew with them for a while. “Apology accepted.”

He let out a deep breath, “Thank goodness. Scott would have never forgiven me if we lost our one connection to the pretty girls club.”

You punch his shoulder and laugh, “The one thing I’m good for… gossip from the girls.”

Stiles rubs his shoulder, “That’s not why we want you around.” He clears his throat at your sudden undivided attention, “What I mean is… you’ve been a good friend, and we like you.”

“You and Scott,” you smile.

“Yeah, me and Scott.”

“Scott and I,” you correct, brushing the wet hair from your face, “How was the game?”

Stiles sat more relaxed on your bed, “It was great, we won. And there weren’t any injuries like Jackson’s.”

“Good,” you smile, “And Scott had a pretty victorious after party, so I’ve heard.”

“Allison texted you?” Stiles questions.

You shrug, “Of course. She said you were watching like a little pervert.”

Stiles chokes on his gasp, “I am not…” 

“You were watching Lydia and Jackson too. There’s a trend I’m noticing,” you tease.

He shoves your crossed knee, relishing in your laugh, “Very funny.” He eyes the neckline of your pajama top, searching for the edge of the scar he noticed yesterday. “Can I ask you my one personal question of the day?”

“Fine,” you sigh, “Ask away.”

“Where did you get that scar?” he nods towards your chest.

You immediately clam up, covering the spot protectively. “I got it over the summer.”

Stiles raises his eyebrows, egging you on, “How?”

“I had a surgery.” You watch the concern begin to etch into Stiles’ face. “I don’t like talking about it.”

He bit the inside of his cheek, blinking rapidly as he tries to compute the information, “But you’re okay now. The surgery helped you be… healthy?”

“For the most part,” you say quietly, “The surgery did help me be healthier.” You could already see the cogs turning in his mind. He was going to head home and research what surgeries would leave scars like that on the side of the chest.

His eyes wander your room for a minute before landing on your nightstand. There were three different sized prescription pill bottles resting there. He returns his gaze to you, but didn’t ask further questions, “So I was thinking… how about I give you rides to school from now on.”

You let out an anxious smile, grateful he didn’t press you about your health problems. “Honestly, that would be great.”

“Good,” he seems pleased with himself, “And in return for gas money, you come to our lacrosse games.”

You outstretch a hand, “Deal.”

Stiles takes your hand to shake and instantly blurts, “You smell really good.”

You laugh, “I did just shower.”

He awkwardly lets go of your hand, standing from the bed, “No, you always smell good.”

“Thanks Stilinski.”

[fountainpenguin]

Short Version: I don't even know how to begin explaining this, so take these 'fic doodles with no context.

Wish Fixers, my chronically unhelpful beloved...

Long Version (City Lights AU #ridspoilers beyond the above implication. Mentions of death and trauma; it gets pretty dark)

Nalooksthrough, I tag you below because I cited your co-dependent toxic friendship comic and said it was cool- If you don't want to click, that's all the tag was :)

So I started outlining my Dale backstory 'fic (Lemonade and Papercuts) since I am the most predictable person alive and of COURSE I can't resist 7 years of trauma and intimacy anxiety <3. But planning a 'fic like this requires many pieces and many questions.

First and most obvious- How did Vicky lure in Dale? From previous planning, I've already decided that since they're the same age (maybe one year off), they probably knew each other in school or activities.

Ex: Squirrely Scouts & Cream Puffs... Not unreasonable- Throughout the series, many kids participate and the organizations seem to have a big following in Dimmsdale. Vicky's sister Tootie is in the Cream Puffs and Vicky is seen bossing them around in the Season 0 episode "Scout's Honor" ("Oh Yeah! Cartoons"). There's a comic by the same name depicting Remy in Squirrely Scouts (after "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" but before he gets his memories back in "Remy Rides Again" and I always thought it was cute). I mean, look at him:

Pictures courtesy of the FOP Wiki

It's not unreasonable that Dale - who's also rich - might've gotten into that (especially since Doug is big on the cowboy theming and of all the rich parents, he's probably the one most okay with his son playing in dirt). Something scout-related could be an option even if Dale and Vicky went to different schools.

A friendship that gets increasingly toxic until it spirals into full-on abuse sounds really interesting (and @nalooksthrough portrayed this idea beautifully imo in THIS comic I can't stop thinking about).

Sounds fun to write, so let's go with that. What's next?

Hey, remember when 7 years ago, I headcanon'd H.P. as Dale's godfather because of this doodle in Da Rules that specifically refers to Pixie godparents and depicts a fluffy-haired kid in a purple shirt?

I recently found out I still had Dale listed as a godchild of H.P. on his full character profile on my fanfic sideblog. I was waffling over whether to retcon that (since I hadn't yet done anything with it), but I started brainstorming whether I COULD do anything with it.

I've always written Wish Fixers in 'fic [e.g. Origin of the Pixies] as a therapy business run by H.P.'s dad (which H.P. bought off him out of spite despite not being licensed for therapy) but, like...

Does Jorgen know H.P. isn't licensed? I can't see why he would... As far as he knows, H.P. owns and runs the place- especially given my lore that Wish Fixers has been in his family for many generations. Sounds qualified to me!

In "School's Out! The Musical" (episode that Da Rules screenshot is from), we learn Pixies are at the back of the line for godparent work, even under creatures like unicorns (Hence the Musical's plot requiring them to remove magical creatures from earth before they could assign themselves to Flappy Bob).

I said in a recent liveblog post that I'd always imagined this was a punishment given to them due to H.P. absolutely failing as godfather to Dale- Thus, the origin of the doodle on the page for that rule. But... I never decided what happened.

See, Dale SEEMS like a guy who would qualify for a fairy. He was probably pretty miserable under Vicky's 7 years of torture and he's still holding onto that trauma in his adulthood.

DID he have a fairy?

I'm just saying, we know from S4's "Wish Fixers" that H.P. is legally(?) allowed to make contracts that swap a fairy godparent with a pixie one if godkids choose to sign of their own free will... Hmm... I'm connecting dots I don't think I like... (I am lying).

I mean?? Dale clearly did not get out of the pit due to magical interference. If I'm committing to the doodle being Dale and reflecting an actual godfather-godson dynamic between him and H.P., then something sure went wrong there. I can't NOT make Dale suffer...

What on earth could've made Dale sign a contract for something a fairy couldn't give him? We know from "Nectar of the Odds" canon that he wished to see his dad, and thanks to previous liveblogs, I DO already have a headcanon of Dale being extremely desperate for his dad's love... Hmm... I can work with that.

I went down a rabbit hole trying to answer the question of how Vicky secured lemons for 7 years for Dale (and other kids) to work with. Here are some lemon tree facts:

- Lemon trees bear fruit after only a few years - They can bear fruit multiple times a year (depending on variety) - A single lemon tree can produce 1,500 lemons in one growing season - Dimmsdale is in California - a state known for lemon orchards.

That feels likely... An orchard of even a few trees can keep you going for a while.

But lemonade doesn't sell for much compared to other things Vicky could've set a kidnapped child up to do (Ex: In "Microphony," she has kids doing a bunch of other tasks like answering phones for her babysitting service, painting houses, and washing cars).

So... WHY lemonade? What is going on that makes this the thing Vicky has Dale do for 7 years?

And who owns the orchard? I need Vicky to obtain lemons without being stopped for 7 years.

Is it a Dimmadome orchard? Maybe, but several episodes imply Vicky's not familiar with the Dimmadomes - and she probably would have turned Dale in for cash reward if given the chance - so those are two things I need to keep in mind.

Does the orchard belong to her family? That's a possibility- Vicky is shown drinking lemonade after "Nectar of the Odds." She definitely could've bought it - It can't be too expensive unless prices were jacked up after she lost her cheap labor - but it's a drink she's seen with in multiple episodes. She definitely likes it.

And we know from "Timmy's 2D House of Horror" that Vicky's parents are terrified of her. It's not likely they'd stop her from taking lemons from the family orchard.

One problem... If Dale goes missing when he's about 9 (Closer to 7 or 8 in my planned timeline), Vicky is also 9 or younger. Are her parents scared of her when she's that small and inexperienced in the ways of the world?

In "The Switch Glitch," she's 5 and seems mild and sweet until 10-year-old Timmy mistreats her- She clearly didn't have memories of Timmy, implying she totally regressed to how she acted when she really was 5. Worth pointing out she goes off the deep end and chains up Cosmo and Wanda, so... she IS mean even at age 5. But also, she's 5. She wears the same purple hair bow in "Switch Glitch" (at 5) that she does when Timmy drains the meanness out of her in "Vicky Loses Her Icky," which is interesting.

So that begs the question... Can I turn my Dale backstory 'fic into a double story of Dale abuse AND Vicky going from a pretty innocent child to Totally Messed Up? Keeping in mind that according to Vicky in A New Wish, Vicky IS the one responsible for abusing him and he "spent 7 years' worth of Saturdays in a factory underneath a lemonade stand."

If that's the way I want to play it... Something happened to send Dale and Vicky down the dual victim-and-abuser path, destinies intertwined. And for some reason, Vicky stuck with the lemonade theme.

Dale just says he spent his Saturdays "in a factory underneath a lemonade stand." It's not out of the question he and Vicky made more lemon products than just lemonade, especially given Vicky's love for money (and those 600 lbs of lemons one tree can produce in a year). We can assume they changed locations a few times or someone would've found the trapdoor on Timmy's lawn. Plus when Dale started his abuse, Vicky hadn't started babysitting Timmy, whom she only met when he was 8.

So, I've set Dale up to be lured in by Vicky because they were friends. I like the idea of things gradually getting worse as Vicky slowly morphs from a friend into a very cruel person. If Vicky was bullying him, what stopped him from just... leaving?

Vicky's transformation was probably subtle if he stayed for so long..... I also pointed out in a recent post that Doug's underground milk empire where he uses hypnotized people for labor bears a striking amount of similarities with Vicky's lemonade stand, even down to the general vibes of "trapdoor entrance" (although it's implied there's another entrance in small building).

And if we want to be technical about things... We don't know if Doug and Dale pressed charges against Vicky. She clearly continues to babysit Timmy and other kids after "Nectar of the Odds" (Season 2).

In Season 4 ("Channel Chasers"), Doug remarks that Timmy's parents should've guessed Vicky was evil because of the Chip Skylark song "Icky Vicky," but he doesn't mention Vicky kidnapping his son. That's.... sus. He even offers to buy a car from her in Season 3's "Engine Blocked" (after Dale's escape).

Why would such a powerful guy let all of that slide? Did they just not have enough proof? Did Vicky wipe the place clean? Did Dale "not want to make a big deal about it" because he was so exhausted and grateful, he just didn't want to think about it or struggle with the legal system? Was he covering for her?? Was he scared to speak up?

... Did Dale not tell his dad the whole truth about where he was?

What if Dale was - in some vague and early concept way - in on the lemonade scheme from the beginning, back when he and Vicky were friends and she wasn't so cruel? Maybe she turned on him and sentenced him to the pit before long?

Why the underground-ness of it? Why the lemonade, which probably doesn't turn much profit... as lemonade. Unless you have unrestrained access to tons of lemons that you can turn into multiple products - Dale DID call it a factory - and no one is stopping you from accessing them...

... but how do you set up a situation where kids have access to a whole lemon orchard - presumably carefully maintained - and the adults don't take it away from them (Because... surely they would've found Dale and multiple other kids if they strayed close).

And Dale didn't leave. He does in "Nectar of the Odds" - apparently of his own volition - but not before. Was he kept there mentally as well as physically?

We KNOW Vicky can't be monitoring him 24/7 because "Nectar of the Odds" is the only episode depicting her paying attention to him, while others show her doing many other things in many other places (though it's worth noting Dale says in that episode that "Vicky's kept him locked up for so long").

Did he stay so long because it was the perceived better fate up until he miraculously crossed paths with his dad (via fairy magic) and took the risk? Would he have gone back in?

Maybe it wasn't supposed to get this out of hand. Dale and Vicky were young when this started... Somewhere between 7 and 9 (given that Dale was kept there for 7 years and Vicky is 16 when he escaped and he tells 9-year-old Dev this happened when he was Dev's age).

Maybe there was an accident. Something not just Vicky, but even Dale felt the need to cover up, especially in regards to the orchard and the fact that it needs to be Vicky's consistent source of lemons (and not something she lost out on before Dale's escape... an illusion of ownership maintained. Kids can't own the orchard, but what if they fooled people into believing it wasn't owned by kids?)

Hmm... some kind of accident that got two mostly innocent kids into huge trouble, thus setting up a horribly intertwined fate where if one of these toxic co-dependent friends backs out and squeals, even the squealer might suffer worse compared to trucking along on the cruel existing path.

tl;dr - if Vicky and Dale accidentally killed the orchard owner but they were kids and terrified to tell an adult lest they go to jail for life so they hid the body in the basement (or like ?? threw it to the coyotes or hyenas that inexplicably lurk on the fringes of Dimmsdale??) and are trying desperately to wipe their hands of this by pretending the lemon orchard is still operational so no one investigates until they can figure out a plan, and then Vicky hardens herself as a trauma response and manipulates Dale into believing it was solely his fault and she'll pin him with murder charges if he gets cold feet and turns her in, and he's miserable and gets a fairy (then loses his fairy via Pixie contract through Wish Fixers, presumably in an attempt to negotiate a way to protect himself from Vicky and somehow not gaining the ire of his father) and then H.P. (lawyer and unlicensed yet de facto therapist pulled two ways) is suddenly Dale's godfather and trying to comprehend what the flip is going on between misery and manslaughter while he's also juggling Gary, Betty, and Flappy Bob at the same time in preparation for the Musical because we know he spent 37 years on that plan...

... Would that be one messed-up yet hyperspecifically canon-compliant 'fic or what?

These thoughts have been haunting me all weekend and I HAD to get my "I'm not that kind of lawyer or therapist" joke out of my system, so there's your context. #Sorry. Is this the direction the actual 'fic will go? ... It's not the direction I really had in mind, but ?? It's off the wall and therefore I must shake it in my teeth. I can't not write Dale backstory this horrific. what. hey.

[random-remzy]

The Osemanverse but filmatized

I'll be covering the concepts I had for "Nick and Charlie" "Solitaire" "Radio Silence" and "I Was Born For This" (I won't do Loveless because I haven't read it yet-)

Nick and Charlie

So theres not much to talk about, because it's been confirmed that Nick and Charlie will be covered in Season 4 of Heartstopper.

Solitaire.

This is where we really begin. So canonically, Solitaire takes place between the HS episodes, "Winter" and "Body" so, yeah.

Personally, I think Solitaire would be best in movie form. It would give that feeling of solving a mystery as well as the feeling of suspense. If it were turned to a movie, I think it would be around 1:45 - 2:00 hours, since there is a lot of heavy things that are covered, despite the story only lasting about a month.

I think that the colors would definitely be different. In heartstopper there are more pastels and brighter colors, and symbolism (leaves, butterflies, jellyfish, etc). So i feel like they would tone it down massively, because of Solitaires inherently dark themes.

Radio Silence

Okay so. I feel like Radio Silence would make an epic show!

Aled did go to Truham, but because he's not relevant in HS, i wonder if he'll be introduced as a classmate of Charlies, or maybe it'll actually be Frances and Tori who interact. Or they do a complete 180 and make RS completely seperate from HS, so the only thing they have in common is the classses, and the schools.

BUT CONCEPTS! So I feel like it would be 10 episodes, 1 ep per term (summer term (a), summer term (b), summer holiday (a), etc). AND Every episode would start with and excerpt from Universe City. then, from ep 3- there would be a repetitive gif acompaniying the excerpt (representing Frances joining in on the work) then it'd be gone again after ep 5 (after Aled moved away). I think the main colors would be blue, purple, (maybe white?) And I think they'd utilize the small animation details like they did in HS, to represent a multitude of different things/relatioships.

But yeah, I thing seeing Radio Silence as a show would be really cool!!

I Was Born For This

okay okay. So, this one is a little obvious. 7 episode show, one for each day of the week.

I think this would be almost completely seperate from the HS/Solitaire/RS timeline, (because it canonically is) But it would still be awesome.

I think the most difficult part about IWBFT though, is the dual narrative. I'm still unsure about how they would be able to incorporate it in a way that makes it seem natural and fluid. For now, I think they would simply switch between the narratives of the characters in the usual way. (panning a camera, insert transition, and thought process/monologue of a different character) Okay, so, out of all the other Osemanverse adaptations, i feel like IWBFT would use the most animation incorporation (apart from HS). By that I mean, there would be sparks, and stars, and bubbles, and all sorts of other things. But also the black clouds and glitching and depictions of bad thoughts as well. (Not to mention that at some point, they would absolutely animate Jimmys wings). Color-wise, I think it would actually be a mix of Solitaire, HS and RS. Angel would be more RS/HS, while Jimmy would be more RS/Solitaire, and I think that would be a lovely choice to go with. Becaus it would showcase the similarities and differences between the two. Angel, with her very positive and bright outlook on something, and Jimmys negative and dark outlook on that same thing. All the while, both of them sharing the fact that neither has a complete sense of self.

EDIT: OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED IWBFT WOULD MAKE AN EPIC MUSICAL SERIES!!! like, maybe a song or two per episode, and it could incorporate songs from The Ark's wikepedia page (or completely new songs, featuring the cast) And it wouldn't even be that weird since IWBFT is canonically seperate from HS/Solitaire/RS. AND EACH OF THE CHARACTERS WOULD HAVE THEIR OWN STYLE OF MUSIC?!

Y'all i'm spiraling-

So. yes. I Was Born For This would make an epic show.

Thank you all for letting me rant about my concepts for the potential filmatization of the other Osemanverse stories.

Feel free to suggest anything or add something on.

But yeah. Thanks for coming to my TAO-Talk (he will be proud of you all)

:)

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 7 [The Thing Lay Still] - part 3/3

- Okay, the triple confrontation Daniel/Louis, Daniel/Armand and Louis/Louis is long but there's so much to say, I have to quote it entirely:

[Daniel] "Well, isn't that neat and tidy?" - THANK YOU DANIEL, I know I can always count on you to point out the flaws and holes in the fabric of Louis' recollection.

[Louis] "'There was a ship. We did get on it.'

[Daniel] 'Yeah, I read that, the first 50 pages. Not exactly the, uh, adventure-of-our-lives feeling I'm feeling.'

[Louis] 'It was a traumatic escape.'

[Daniel] 'Yeah, but she didn't say that explicitly. […] But, um… there's a feeling that she hated your guts there for a while. Why is that?'"

Trust Daniel to always see the little thing that would be inconsequential to anyone else.

[Louis] "'I was haunted by my brother's death, by the abandonment of my sister, by the murder of Lestat, I…'

[Daniel] 'Murder? What murder? It was an act of mercy. You didn't kill Lestat. You spared him out of some fucked-up idea you had about love.'

[Louis] 'Love? I bled him like a pig and waited for the death rattle.'"

Oh, Louis. You are so good at lying to yourself. Good thing Daniel's too much of an excellent investigative reporter to let you fool him like you're fooling yourself. Notice how Louis looks as Daniel undoes all his lies and smoke mirrors? Like he's still trying to cling so hard to the story he's told himself for the past 80 years, like the lie is the only thing that keeps him upright, like if he admits the love, admits he wanted to save Lestat, that would completely undo him and there would be no going back?

[Daniel] "You were shot point-blank by an alderman. You were dropped a thousand feet and survived. You torched Antoinette just to make sure. Where does the trash go, Louis? You take the trash down to the street, some guys show up in a truck and they throw it in the back, and then, they drive it out to the middle of nowhere, right? No. They take the trash to the dump. And having lived two blocks away from the dump just outside of Fishkill, New York, with my first wife, I can state, with authority, what else you'll find there. Rats. Big fucking rats, the size of Kevin Durant's sneakers. Enough blood in them to bring back the dead. Especially one in a trunk with locks on the inside. You knew it, Louis. You had to. The biggest rat eater of them all."

Thank you for bringing back Moonlight Sonata! Haven't figured out yet if it's intra or extradiegetic tho. I love its presence in this episode. It's my favourite piece of classical music (I know, very original) and it's so gothic par excellence.

Mention of the first wife, Alice/Armand, no, I will not get down from this hill.

I love how Daniel's theory posit Louis as having done some planning for himself outside of Claudia's and even Lestat's, with the trunks locking on the inside and the rats needed to revive.

[Rashid/Armand] "'This session is over.'

[Daniel] 'How many days in the Islamic year? How many names are there for Allah?'

[Rashid/Armand] '355 and 99.'

[Daniel] 'Why does a 200-pound bouncer pass out after he sucks him off, and you, a wet T-shirt away from 130, doesn't even blink?'"

Ha, Daniel said 'okay who the eff are you and why am I smelling bullshit'. Meanwhile Armand said 'oh shit we're getting too close to dangerous waters and Louis is about to lose it, better reassert control'. But also, Muslim!Armand. Definitely. Not a throwaway line, not just pretence. Rolin Jones I'm counting on you to not fuck this up.

[Louis] "'I couldn't burn him.'

[Daniel] 'But Claudia could.'

[Louis] 'No', she couldn't.'

[Daniel] 'She stuck a pen in his neck. She recorded his last words in his own blood. The girl did not have a fuckin' problem tossing him on the grill, okay?'"

And Louis' wall of lies is breaking and shattering… And the pebbles of the zen garden, his other big trauma, don't help either…

[Daniel] "You cursed her into the darkness. You chose Lestat over her time and time again. You don't need a memoir, Louis. You need a hundred sessions of EMDR. You know the shit they put soldiers through when they see one of their platoon buddies get blown up in front of them?"

Say it, Daniel! These messy vamps need therapy.

Making jokes to avoid the sheer anguish in Louis' face, voice and body language, both in the 1940 flashback (the image of Louis holding Lestat's body and yelling is tattooed on my eyelids) and in 2022 (Louis sitting in his zen garden hugging and rocking himself, eyes screwed shut, trying to block Daniel and Armand's voices and the memories lives rent free in my mind).

[Daniel] "'144 years and you're still Louis the Pimp, paying a whore to sit in a room and talk with you. 'Cause why? You got some story you wanna tell the whole world about yourself?'

[Rashid/Armand] 'When you hear it you'll be ashamed, ashamed of what you say to him now!'"

Please don't hold back, Danny, do tell us what you think exactly. But hey, Louis needs to hear it.

The fuck are you talking about, Armand… Also notice how agitated he is? Feeling protective of Louis, or feeling like he's losing control of the interview, the interviewee and the interviewer all at once?

Love Armand taking off is gloves in the background. So subtle, so crucial. And then the lenses.

[Daniel] "'This is the same shit that happened in San Francisco.'

[Louis] 'Not exactly.'

[Daniel] 'How is it any different, Louis?'

[Armand] 'This time I won't save your life. Louis can sometimes act out. I protect him from himself, always have. Stopped him that night in San Francisco.'"

Oh, hello, Armand's decided to play Superman. Aaaaah, Armand's orange eyes, I love them!!!

Can we talk about Armand's infantilisation of Louis? "He acts out, I protect him from himself"… Like a child that can't regulate his feelings and needs to be put on time's out. The manipulation is deep and multi-layered, it's not just the memory alteration. Notice how Louis is pretty much dissociating, staring at the grey wall, face slowly becoming inexpressive and voice returning to flat and empty, from the moment Armand started telling off Daniel?

[Daniel] "'You were there.'

[Louis] 'You don't remember.'

[Daniel] 'No, I don't remember.'

[Louis] 'What was that you said about memory? 'A monster', was it?'

[Daniel] 'But I saw you standing in the sun.'

[Armand] 'As we age, the sun loses its power over us. What's a mediocre star to a 514-year-old vampire?'

[Louis] 'Daniel Molloy, I'd like you to meet the vampire Armand, the love of my life.'"

One, don't be too cocky, Louis, there's plenty you don't remember about that night too yourself.

Two, and we've come full circle again, the monster memory making itself fully known after lurking all season long.

Three, shut up Armand, the Sun is not a mediocre star, it's part of the entire reason there's life on this planet, show some respect. Sun deities are some of the most frequent deities around the globe. You need to come back down to earth.

Four, all the books being out of reach to Louis, another way Armand's exerting subtle control.

Five, "love of my life", BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGA *deep breath* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA, that line kills me every time I hear time. Why you lying Louis, stop fucking lying all the time. Sorry, Armand.

Daniel seeing them side by side and hearing that stupid line after listening to Louis ramble and compose poetry on the spot about Lestat for the past week or so: "hm. I sense bullshit of the highest degree. Time to destroy that whole tower of lies one by one.".

Aaaaaaaaaah, that was such a rich and intense episode!!!! What a grandiose season 1 final!!! So many different elements that have got to be revisited by other perspectives to get the full painting. So many seeds planted for season 2 and even season 3!! The writing is flawless, the acting is exquisite, the music is gorgeous, the costume, set design and stage direction are masterful. I am in love with this show.

ep1 | ep2 | ep3 | ep4 | ep5 | ep6 | part 1 | part 2

[stromuprisahat]

For me, it would have been very easy to achieve a Darklina endgame, even after season 1.

Malina fans argue that since their relationship has been introduced and established throughout the season, and the Darkling betrayed Alina, they are the logical way to go. The obvious endgame.

To this I answer:

No.

Throughout the season, it is shown that Alina being with Mal restrained her in her abilities and who she really was. After episode 4, she had agreed to detach herself from him, erasing the scar she had made to pit the test, and thus bury who she really was for Mal. While he, on the contrary, kept this scar he had made by defending her (also) without his knowledge, in addition to claiming that Alina was his true north. Something Alina also did BUT in the episode before, while there, now, well she let Mal go after finally figuring out that her relationship with him had basically gotten in the way of who she really was and could potentially hold her back. . So there, basically, Malina was no longer on the same page. Then Episode 5 reinforces that fact, in addition to finally making it clear that Malina has in fact never been on the same page at all, with Alina saying that Mal wants a farm, but Alina doesn't like firm and would instead like to travel. Basically, we are shown during the first 5 episodes that despite their love, well they are very different. Mal didn't allow Alina to move on, and she doesn't even want the same things he does in life in general. Worse, he's mortal, and she's immortal, as Aleks points out in Episode 7. It's basically a relationship, realistically doomed.

Without forgetting that this conversation of the Darkling and Mal takes place just before that of Darklina. Mal having told the Darkling that Alina chose him over him. Then, we hear Alina say later that she and Aleks could have had it all together if he had told her the truth. Without forgetting that when he leaves the tent, Alina hesitates to call him back to her. So the dialogue, as well as this whole situation basically proves that no, Alina didn't choose Evil in there, he's wrong. On the contrary, it becomes the default choice. The second choice. Simply because the future she imagined as clearly as possible… It was with Aleks. In fact, when Alina ran away from Aleks, she wasn't even thinking about Mal. I recall that she had essentially put it aside. So when Alina ran away from Aleks, it wasn't for Mal, it was for herself. Finding Mal was essentially a coincidence, not something she sought to cause. And when Alina spoke of the future by involving Mal in the series, it was to say that she wanted to travel, and he, to have a firm idea that she never liked. (Even one of my friends who doesn't like Darklina at all, recognizes this aspect of the story where Mal appears as a second choice when she wanted to build a future with the Darkling. She also likes the relationship and the Malina link, but finds her straining in romantic terms)

Then, next to Mal as a character, we have Aleks, the other most powerful grisha in existence apart from Alina, literally her natural complement, the darkness of her light. The one who encourages her to be who she really is. I'll add that since he's immortal, he must have traveled well elsewhere and could basically show the world to Alina.

People think the necklace case is irretrievable. It's bullshit. The Darkling had specific reasons for doing what he did and for an essentially noble and righteous purpose. Without forgetting that Alina very quickly regained control of her powers.

Let's also not forget the fact that she didn't know about Zlatan, about Marie, or even the whole truth about the creation of the Fold. Sorry, but Bagrah barely told him the tip of the iceberg.

If Alina learned all these things, it is impossible for her to remain in her black and white vision to consider the Darkling purely as an enemy.

A clever story would have Alina learn all of these things to make her reconsider the situation and potentially forgive Aleks later. It's fucking completely doable!

Hell, I literally read a trilogy (The Kinder of Poison) where Kasta (main male protagonist, coded as symbolically having darkness within him) stabbed Zahru (the heroine of the story, coded as a symbolic source of light), choosing the magic he would reap from this sacrifice, even as she begged him to choose her and they grew closer during the book, developing feelings for each other . And yet, he chose to stab her in the heart! The only reason Zahru survived is because Kasta's brother's companions rescued him inextremist! And yet in the last volume, Zahru forgives her, and they get married, ending up more in love than ever! If forgiveness is possible there, why wouldn't it be for Darklina with this fucking necklace story?!

Beyond that, we are still talking about an antagonist who has been fighting for a minority who has been orpified for centuries against a monarchy corrupt to the bone and trying to maintain a country that is fucking on the way to extinction. Aleks is not and never was the real bad guy in this mess. A cleverly written story would have unquestionably brought Darklina together against Ravka's true enemies, and Mal would have become a love of the past, no more and no less. We would reinforce their differences and incompatibility. Damn that scar should have come out! How could Mal not ask about this in season 2?! Also, although I hate those ridiculous meadow scenes, since we were given one at the end of the last episode of season 1, it would be good to put some back on but much less idealize than those we saw in season 1, to make the bridge with the deterioration of their relationship and that everything remains fluid and connected. And we could very well have kept this good energy and special bond that they had from season 1, by making it / making it more fraternal, knowing that it is already the feelings that they send back to most spectators, and even generally in the story. Malina is family. Darklina is the lovers. (even Jessie Mei Li said it) To say, Malina after season 1 had ended up in the top of the most forced couples…

Sorry to say, but this is all the natural path for the story to follow from the end of season 1. (And even the end of volume 1, I feel like saying. Anything was still possible after this first volume. Alina could have had a meteoric evolution, just like the story. But we know that's not what we got…)

Yet Alina will never learn the truth about the Fold. She will never learn of Marie's death a little caused by Kaz all the same huh, but not considering that it is necessary to show that Alina and Inej get along for the fan service… She will not learn either the plans of Zlatan which consisted in having everyone on board the skiff killed once it arrived, as well as his plan to kill her which led to the death of Marie. Whether it's by herself or through Zoya, for example, Alina will never know.

And of course, all this is very practical and allows Alina to remain ignorant and not evolve. Except that it creates a huge dissonance between the spectators and the characters. The viewer is not supposed to be the only one to know such important and crucial information. At least not indefinitely. The logical way is that the heroine also learns them at some point.

Except that if she learned them, the logical path would be for her to go to the Darkling, except since this is a path that the writers refuse to take, they prevent the logical progression of their story and their heroine.

There's also been no conversation where Mal basically tells Alina that she's immortal, or even Alina shown to actually think about it in a deep way on her own. It's always the Darkling talking about it, while she avoids the subject. (at least until episode 5 of season 2) Like… a child who refuses to face the truth in fact, and it is frustrating.

.

[marylairre]

Pleasant Green Universe - All audios

A small list of all the audios in the Pleasant Green Universe as created by Julian Simpson.

The order of this post doubles as the recommended listening order if you want to follow the story chronologically (for as far as that is possible).

All of the links in this list link to their most official sources, and are all free to listen to. Some platforms like that of the BBC Sounds offer a download option so you can listen to them offline. Soundcloud links all lead to Julian Simpson's official Soundcloud.

Please let me know if a link is broken or if an item is no longer available and I will try my best to get it fixed.

Episode 1: Fragments Episode 2: The Listener Episode 3: Bad Memories Episode 4: Kokomo Episode 5: Fugue State

Episode 1: Mythos Episode 2: Glamis Episode 3: Albion

The Lovecraft Investigations: Season One: The case of Charles Dexter Ward

Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10

The Lovecraft Investigations: Season Two: The Whisperer in Darkness

Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8 Feed Disrupted * Urgent update from Kennedy Fisher *When downloaded from the BBC Sounds webpage using its download feature, the episode will show up as an mp3 file called 'Episode 8'. This is not incorrect. It is a different episode and is titled as such to make sense in-universe.

The Lovecraft Investigations: Season Three: The Shadow over Innsmouth

Episode 1: Footsteps Episode 2: Haumea Episode 3: Apartment 6 Episode 4: Melusine Episode 5: Harlequin Episode 6: Saint Germain Episode 7: Rubaiyat Episode 8: Pleasant Green Bonus Episode 1: The Somerton Man Bonus Episode 2: Who is Mary Lairre? Bonus Episode 3: Heawood and Kennedy

Who is Aldrich Kemp?

Chapter 1: Clara Page Chapter 2: Themis House Chapter 3: The Black Windmill Chapter 4: The Spirit of The Age Chapter 5: Kholat Syakhl

Who killed Aldrich Kemp?

Chapter 1: Funeral in London Chapter 2: The Man Who Sold The World Chapter 3: Liberty Flights Chapter 4: The Murder Clowns Chapter 5: Bogata

The Lovecraft Investigations: Season Four: The Haunter of the Dark

Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10

Aldrich Kemp and the Rose of Pamir

PENDING RELEASE NOVEMBER 22ND 2024!

BAD MEMORIES: FILM

On December 31st 2023 Julian Simpson revealed on the CartoonGravity website that the title of the Pleasant Green film that they're currently developing is going to be titled 'Bad Memories', after the standalone story of the same name.

This post was last updated on: November 4th 2024

[sirenthatmakesyouwantcake]

these are my thoughts on interview with the vampire episode 5 season 2

I've heard a few things about this episode, I've been really wanting to watch it just havent had had the time yet. I've also heard that they don't actually unpack any of it.which seems pretty on brand for them

(6:10) Sometimes, ii think i have bad handwriting, but then there’s daniel’s, which makes my feel a lot better about my own

(7:52) definitely gay (8:11) definitely

This whole interview is just a who can be the sassiest and most insane old gay guy possible

(9:46) daniel is like that one fall out boy song, he spent an entire decade high and doesn't remember any of it (or that he is gay)

(10:04) i like how they had him standing at the window, it's a nice touch

(12:53) if i just found out that vampires are real, i think i would be pretty fucking afraide too

I've been painting my nails while watching and ended up skipping on of my nails

(13:35) that was perfect, it was so close to quoting the book, it was good enough that i even recognised it before i even looked up the first few pages

(16:03) I like this louis more than the other few, he’s so much more fun and happy instead of seeming like he only sort of wanted to be there.

(17:18) it's no wonder he doesn't remember the first interview, he looks like he could barely stand if he wanted to

(22:55) 70’s armand is millennial grey

(24:21) i think someone is a little jealous (another weirdly spelled word) ((25:19) and the other one is schizophrenia), i also think two someones need to go the marriage therapy

(26:16) well that took quite a turn, and i think its shows their relationship well, how even thought why both had just yelled at each other, armand still saved him right away, and then, though i haven't gotten there yet, i assume that armand made him forget how bad it hurt, (38:22), i take parts of that back, armand basically torched him, they really do need therapy, i'm surprised they didn't end up killing each other in the time between the interviews

(29:23) poor daniel got caught in the middle of their messed up relationship

(30:01) for some reason, i thought the guy in the bag was daniel, and somehow he was revived and turned into a vampire, i clearly didn't think this through much because now that i'm thinking about it again, there in no way that would have worked

Armand is supposed to look 17, he looks 20 or so, i know his actor is somewhere in his 20’s and he did play him well, i don't think they could have done the show the same way if he was played by a younger actor.

(38:22) about time

(45:31) louis is quite a jump scare when the rest of your room is dark and quite

(51:01) once again, not talking about the problems

OTHER

I really like how both daniel’s had similar voices, specifically the gravely (i think that's the right word) parts

Conclusion of this episode: maybe all four of them could use some therapy or atleast to talk to each other and work out their problems (the last part doesn't really apply to lestat, he was not part of the sort of ok guys, not good guys, i don't think any of them really qualify as good guys except daniel, he was just caught up in everything)

This episode really put their relationship through it but i think it may have helped parts of it as well, maybe if armand and louis could actually talk they could have a better relationship that isn't just hanging off a cliff

@certainunkownlove2 was telling me about this post and i think all of you need to read it, he is so wonderful for this

Thank you for reading, now it is time for me to rest (literally speaking, it's late and i'm tired)

other episodes

S2E1 S2E2 S2E3 S2E4 S2E6

[kazperthegh0st]

RaTing TMA season 1 episodes

001: Angler Fish, the cigarette and disappearance one. Not very memorable. 5/10

002: Do Not Open, the will power this one man contains is greater than God, i swear. I probably would have opened that coffin tbh. 10/10

003: Across the Street, to be Grahm or Not to be Grahm, that is the question. Eating paper is not really my thing but you do you. 8/10

004: Page Turner, kinda boring to me but it introduces important people. 4/10

005: Thrown Away, it reminds me of that one short FNAF story where the girl finds her real body cut up in garbage bags. I liked this episode. 9/10

006: Squirm, I have no memory of this episode. 2/10

007: The Piper, All i remember is rats, a dead dude in a dumb ditch, and The Great War. It was a good read tho. 4/10

008: Burned Out, There was a Spooky Tree, an apple, and a box ( i think it had a necklace in it??). There is also the religious dude— i think hes also the jesuit dude that killed two people in a later episode but i could be wrong. 5/10

009: A Fathers Love, this one was so sad to me ngl. I have two questions: What happened to the mother (i know she died but theres gotta be more)? and also whats the necklace all about ( i might be crazy but wasn’t it in the box in burned out?)? I do think the dad is somehow innocent, like he was possessed or smth. 10/10

010: Vampire Killer, this was a cool, fun episode and I enjoyed the different approach to Vampires. 9/10

011: Dreamer, We hear some new stuff about what happened to Jon’s predecessor, outside of that its an ok episode. Elias is mentioned. 5/10

012: First Aid, don’t remember this episode at all but i looked at the episode tag on here and Gerry is in it so on principle it gets a 5/10

013: Alone, my mind is so blank about this episode. Jon was nice tho. 2/10

014: Piecemeal, i don’t remember it well but Tumblr tells me it was good. 5/10

015: Lost Johns’ Cave, this reminded me of those tiktok videos about idiots who get stuck in caves. But at the same time this episode was deeply unsettling and sad. 10/10

016: Arachnophobia, proof that spiders do not die no matter what you do. Lazy ass cat ( Major Tom, great name, unintended David Bowie reference ) 8/10

***All previous thoughts were made well after the episodes were read so i could be wrong or forgetful regarding some details.***Future thoughts will be made immediately after, or the same day as reading the episodes.***

017: The Boneturners Tale, more of the weird books. I think there was arson in this episode (?) 5/10

018: The Man Upstairs, This one was absolutely disgusting (in a good way?!?!) it made me want to throw up but at the same time was sooo cool. 8/10

019: Confession and 020: Desecrated Host, putting these two together. Why is there such a strong theme of cannibalism and removal of body parts in this podcast? It was really interesting and well written. 8/10

021: Freefall, not that interesting to me ngl. It wasnt bad tho 5/10

022: Colony, MARTIN!!! A real character! He is a sweet innocent baby who can do no wrong. The episode itself was super unsettling. Who is the woman again tho?

023: Schwartzwald, this was boring, sorry. I know i should have found it more interesting cause its a letter for Jonah Magnus but it just wasn’t appealing to me. 2/10

024: Strange Music, I love the aesthetic of Pipe Organs, always have. (Why is it now in the institute?!?!) the creepy dolls and the circus clowns were cool. I love that the movers came back again, kinda odd but thats expected. 10/10

025: Growing Dark, not too memorable but there is now another missing person. (Yay). 4/10

026: A Distortion, SASHA!!! Another Real Character! Nothing had better happen to Jon or Martin or else. I love them too much. Micheal seems interesting too. 8/10

027: A Sturdy Lock, the first episode I listened to while reading the transcript. Is there or is there not a lock on that door? Bro should invest in a pet tho. Average episode but still good. 7/10

028: Skin Tight, wasn’t Cambridge Military Hospital in another episode? Also who is the archivist? The voice ( im listening and reading ) is different from Jon’s and is not female so not Gertrude. Sarah Baldwin is also a familiar name. Skin peeling. Lovely. (Sarcasm) 10/10

029: Cheating Death, reminds me of 007. I think its neat that the person making the statement had the Institute write it for him. This was a cool story. I like how much of it was a folktale and then it took a turn. 10/10

030: The killing floor, oh the delights of the meat industry. What was up with Tom Haan tho? Why did he kill himself? Why is there a living meat pile?!?! 10/10

Shortly after listening to that episode i made steak. While making steak i listened to the next two.

031: First Hunt, I kept thinking of that “Run Rabbit” song. Im glad humans dont have natural predators. But as an American (unfortunately) as soon as I heard where this was and the guy made note of the whistling… I knew he was screwed. Jon is so dissmissive tho. First episode where i only listened to it. 10/10

I have no idea why the previous story made me decide to cook steak.

032: Hive, this wasn’t much of a real statement but proof that Jane is crazy. It was just “insects do be buzzing” the noises in the background were upsetting. (Listened only while cooking a steak) 10/10

033: Boatswain’s Call, We meet Peter Lukas ( who may or may not be Elias’s Husband? I saw it in a Tiktok ) and I think it was slightly unsettling how they all loaded into the lifeboat. Did they vote the dude out or something? (Read and listened) 8/10

034: Anatomy Class, body snatchers named John/Jane Doe traumatize a professor. I love how they’re all trying to pump their hearts to figure out how they’re supposed to beat. Im a big fan of anatomical sciences. (Read only) 10/10

035: Old Passages, It’s Gerry on the hunt for Leitners books! Another dead person and some secret passages. What happened to Jon. Why did the Delivery Duo Dudes show up with a package for him??? (Read only) 10/10

036: Taken Ill, the episode itself was boring to me but the end was interesting. Why is there a lighter, that i assume has connections to The Web? What does Elias want with it? (Read only) 7/10

037: Burnt Offering, boring. Sorry. Could the wicca and voodoo stuff in the woods be related to Jane? (Read only) 5/10

038: Lost and Found, This was Sad. Important things go missing, more so they cease to exist, until eventually its the Husband. Jons fear of spiders returns. And now for the end of Season 1. (Read only) 10/10

039: Infestation, I did find it funny when Jon called himself an idiot. Martin just needs to let my boy Jon be in (SEVERE) denial. Jon is being watched (the eye!) Tim is so excited that he almost died. Its odd. Oooh its Not Sasha! “Archivist.” “Shit.” (I listened to it and then read the transcript) 9/10

040: Human Remains, what did Not Sasha do with the tape… I do know what happened to Gertrude so Elias acting the way he does in this scene is funny. (I listened to it then read the transcript) 9/10

Really good podcast. I liked it.

— are the secret passages from 038 connected in anyway to the tunnels around the archives?

— what was it that got sasha in the end and is real sasha dead?

— does gerard start to pop up more often? As an actual cast member?

— what was Jane looking for in the written files?

[alteon77]

Updated Masterlist of Writing and Art

About the writer/artist: I like to write and paint. My current obsession is Sandman, but I enjoy most fantasy fandoms as well as anime (I think I’m on season seven billion of One Piece right now 🤣). I'm also weird as they come (and awkward, too), so just please ignore my oddball (coughTERRIBLEcough) sense of humor.

On a more personal note, I have PTSD and suffer from severe manic depressive episodes. Writing and art are my most familiar coping mechanisms, and I need them like I need oxygen. Seriously, there were times in my life that knowing I had to finish a story or a piece of art was the only thing stopping me from ending up dead. So, I don't take part in fandom drama. Having my peace and protecting my mental health are very big deals to me, and I won't risk those for anything if I can help it.

As for my writing, it ranges from short one-shots to ridiculously long novel series. I use third person POV (on longer series) as well as second person (on shorter things). I also try to always exclude physical descriptions when writing main character OCs and assign them nicknames to avoid using Y/N. I love to read Y/N fics, but writing them makes me feel like I'm at work. And who actually wants to ever feel like they're at work when they're engaging in a hobby? Definitely not me.

Lastly, there's usually more stuff on my AO3 page than I have listed here, because I forget to post it pretty often. Oops. I'll get around to moving it all over one day. Probably. Maybe.

Feel free to leave an ask if you want or just drop by my DMs. <3

Artwork links are at the bottom of this list, so if you're here for those, that's where they are.

Sandman 'Verse

All the Precious and Fragile Things (so easily do they break)

After banishing his lover from the Dreaming for her betrayal, Morpheus learns that she is pregnant with his child.

And that she’s been captured by a revenge-seeking Alexander Burgess.

What the both of them are unaware of is that this will set in motion a cascade of unfavorable events, causing a chain reaction that threatens the whole of existence itself.

PART I: All of This Past

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

PART II: These Tender, Loving Mercies

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

PART III: When It All Falls Down

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

PART IV: The Dark of War

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Epilogue

Sometimes He's Sweet

Morpheus hates the holidays.

As excited as she seems to experience the mortal holiday, he's… less so. Much less so. With the entire collective unconscious contained within him, this time of year can be wholly overwhelming, a miasma of too much red and green, too much worry, too much loneliness, too much excitement, too many similarly themed dreams, too many similarly themed nightmares, and far far too many holiday songs. It all bleeds out from the collective unconscious into his own mind, sticks there like weeping sap to a tree until he feels half-mad with the unrelenting presence of it, with his inability to get free from its cloying trespass upon his very being.

This is just a little sweet fluff for the holiday season. It takes place between chapters 19 and 20 of "All the Precious and Fragile Things". No spoilers here if you've read that far!

The Dog Debacle (or how best to sneak a dragon into the dreaming)

Morpheus' daughter gets a new dog.

Well..... kind of.

That Familiar Feeling of Family (or how Hob Gadling ended up as an uncle to his stranger's oftentimes feral children)

It's a pretty universally known thing that families are just strange. As Hob is quickly figuring out, however, this little fact is magnified by AT LEAST a billion when the family in question is Endless.

(A lighthearted story in which Hob Gadling finds out his stranger has married, makes friends with a homicidal maniac/ruler, and manages to become an exemplary uncle to a pack of magically mischievous children. Really, now all he has to do is convince everyone to stop calling his and Dream's weekly meetups "playdates", and then his life would be practically perfect.)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

The Maker, the Muse, and the Sundered Song

In his temple, what remains of Orpheus waits in trepidation. Something is changing. Something that he knows might alter the very fabric of the world as he understands it.

Finally freed from captivity, Calliope struggles to make any meaningful changes to the laws that saw her bound and taken in the first place. When the strange woman appears on Mount Parnassus and offers help, Calliope knows she would be a fool not to accept it. Even if she thinks that she's being lied to.

Meanwhile in the peace of the Dreaming, Morpheus grapples with guilt over his son's fate. As he basks in the love of his new children, he can't help but to regret his own failings where Orpheus is concerned.

And as for May, she's really just got a job to do. And her own traumatic issues to deal with. And if it's all hella awkward because she's having to work alongside her husband's ex-wife, she'll see it done anyway. There's even the small possibility that she might eventually admit to Calliope the truth about her identity. That is if she can ever actually work up the courage to say it aloud.

Chapter 1

Nothing in This Closet but Boots and a Boy

Morpheus is wildly protective of his daughter.

That's probably bad for the boy in said daughter's closet.

AU's and Other Stuff in the Sandman 'Verse

Of Exes, Hellhounds, and Waffle Fries

Morpheus shows up to rescue the woman he probably loves (though he won't admit it) from hellhounds and ends up getting roped into helping with her family. This is one of those extras that doesn't fit into the main story, but it's fun, so I'm posting it.

The Bizarre Breeding Habits of Anthropomorphic Personifications

It's a tale as old as time.

Two idiots fall in love. Two idiots fall out of love.

Neither one of them is expecting a baby to come along and derail their unhappily ever after.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Original Fanart

I like to play around with different styles and to try new things with my artwork. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. I'm still learning, and I am so far from being a professional that it's laughable. But I only post things that I think look decent or that I think others might enjoy.

The Lover's Argument (Morpheus x oc)

Oneiros (Morpheus in Grecian garb)

Because I could not stop for Death, she kindly stopped for me... (Regency era Dream and Death)

[notafunkiller]

My honest opinion about Karen Page

I am genuinely curious how people can like Karen Page as a character and even ship her with Matt, because I don’t think I’ve disliked a character so much probably ever. Karen Page got on my nerves fast and, as I watched more episodes, it got even worse.

About her

For someone who is supposed to be smart (and the definition of good), she is very stupid. The way she thinks and chooses to act makes no sense 99% of the time. She is more of a bad character than a good one. Even her “sense of justice” is flawed, with many double standards (a subject I will touch on especially when I’ll describe her relations with Matt Murdock and Frank Castle). She is arrogant, troublesome, and headstrong, she calls herself and is considered a journalist despite her lack of real experience (law experience too!!! -> so why is she now included in the firm name? SINCE WHEN IS SHE A LAWYER? I could not believe it!)

She is written in a very annoying way and flat. She is a flat character in the first place (=two-dimensional in doesn’t change throughout the work), kept around for 3 seasons (+The Defenders) for no other reason than the fact she is problematic. But she isn’t necessarily needed for creating drama if we had more villain(s) scenes and plans. She is boring and whiny, and she has a pick-me attitude most of the time. She is not just impulsive, but also extremely FOOLISH (the way she decides to go to Fisk and spill out in his face she killed Wesley... I was like: seriously?) And the writers make other characters praise her... I still find is shocking Matt only said she was brave for what she did. She is VERY judgmental and noisy and thinks the world revolves around her (The fact that when she came to Matt in S2 and found Stick and a very visibly hurt Elektra in his bed, she did not ask a goddamn thing like what happened? instead everything was about her and how she is betrayed. But like another man was in the room, you think he cheated on you with him there? Absolutely ridiculous.) But she loves to play the victim a lot, so I am not surprised.

I don’t know how the writers thought a pretty, angelic face can make the audience (and the characters) ignore her lack of development (zero) and the horrible things she does/provokes. She caused deaths and yet the writers still make others find excuses for her and not blame her.

NewsFlash: SHE IS DARK AND SHE LOVES DARKNESS. I am not even talking about a side, she is completely into PURE DARKNESS with only 1% of light.

When out of the blue, she decided to murder James Wesley despite him only threatening her, it was like ???  And she did not shoot him one time, she did it 7 times. SEVEN. And she did not even try to be cautious (locking the firm door was a joke, right? Cause I refuse to believe writers consider the audience so stupid) and caused another death: Ben, a real journalist she dragged around with her despite him wanting a way out. Fisk killed him with his own hands and Ben didn’t tell him Karen (who is the one who came up with the idea) also visited his mother. We don’t see justice, we only see her being treated as a victim again. And she didn’t even actually help to get Fisk in prison in S1 and in S2 she is a babysitter (Foggy and Matt’s) and a murderer defender (*pretending to be shocked*). S3? I was surprised by how much screen time she had (+A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT HER)... sometimes more than Matt and it made me so unhappy because this screen time could have been used to build more. For me, the second half of S3 is not even centered on Matt.

And she caused the death of another character, a pivotal person in Matt’s life: Father Lantom and we don’t talk enough about this. I am also not surprised Maggie and her get along, they are both two selfish, horrible people who think a few tears are enough to be excused.

The writers tried to make her relevant, but they failed. The way she was basically forced down my throat made me see her flaws even more. She is not even a character than has enough traits to be a part of the main team. In S1, the contrast between her and Claire was huge (and Claire was just a supportive character). And it’s funny how they changed the love interests - direction. At first, we saw Foggy and her bonding, Ms. Cardenas hinted about them being romantically involved, but then they literally ignored that and started to focus on Karen with Matt, then Karen and Frank (still unfinished business), and a little more on Karen and Matt again, but the show on Netflix got canceled. To be honest, the last thing I wanted and want is to see Matt and Karen together.

Not gonna lie, I expected and wanted her death at the church because she is literally pointless, but it didn’t come. It would have been a surprise if they actually did it as in the comics. It would have impacted Matt and Foggy, and Matt’s decision not to kill Fisk at the end of the season would have been even more powerful and meaningful.

One of her defining features is hypocrisy. Matt is the bad guy for keeping secrets from her, but her hiding and lying, for example not telling him and Foggy about Wesley is okay. Matt being Daredevil and not killing people is not fine, but Frank being The Punisher (a freaking cold blood murderer) is more than fine. She was so happy when Matt defended him in court... it’s insane! She can be a bad friend, a liar, etc because she is special. It was hilarious when she started to give advice to Matt about how you change after ending someone's life. Shocking! And poor her, how she isn’t the same after her brother died because of her. See how she positions herself as the victim again?

It’s also very interesting how at first she tells matt (S3) she came to warn him Fisk knows about him, leaving out the part she basically told Wilson that he is Daredevil, and only later she plays semi-victim again and says she is to blame, and, OF COURSE, Matt says Fisk already knew (which is actually pretty false: he assumed, but it was never 100% confirmed) and comforts her basically. It’s absolutely infuriating how Karen messes up every freaking time and everyone goes: oh, poor you, you’re an angel, it’s okay, it’s not your fault. I am even more disappointed how the writers didn’t make Matt even have a proper reaction to her admitting she killed someone. S2 and S3 feel like two completely different writing approaches, and even though the plot in S2 made me think: IS THIS A JOKE?, Matt and the characters building speaking, it was soooo much better (not the love triangle thing though, because both: Elektra and Karen don’t deserve Matt and are horrible in two different ways).

She is a manipulative, self-centered, and dramatic person. We saw her past (drug addiction too) and how easily she can make the decision to kill someone, but she never actually faces real consequences. Her father kept it underground and Matt still protected her from Fisk.

Karen around Matt Murdock/Daredevil and Frank Castle/The Punisher

Matt and Karen not only don’t have chemistry (Charlie and Deborah have plenty of chemistry with other people), but they also don’t match at all no matter how much the fans and the writers push(ed) the idea.

Karen does not want Matt Murdock (she liked the idea of him at some point, but not the real him), and she certainly doesn’t want Daredevil, which is quite funny (Remember when she was obsessed with the idea of him, but when she found out it’s Matt, she wasn’t interested any longer?). Should I even talk about the way she wanted Matt to stop being Daredevil and not even for a second tried to support or/and understand him? SHE didn’t want him to be Daredevil so he should stop. Even when Foggy brought him the suit in The Defenders, she was annoyed. She doesn’t understand that her boss/friend/almost-boyfriend has two sides, just like Elektra tried to have only one side of him. Matt isn’t just Matt. I really loved the She-Hulk posters for Matt: Charlie Cox is Matt Murdock & Matt Murdock is Daredevil. Do you see? It’s such an important thing. Daredevil/Matt isn’t dark enough for her. He isn’t what she wants. 

And Karen doesn’t have the same moral code as Matt does (even when he thought about killing Fisk to protect the people close to him). They don’t see the world in a similar way and they never will. I don’t think Matt and Karen would have ever lasted even if Elektra wasn’t around, they are too different. She is dark, like Elektra. She wanted to change him, like Elektra. She doesn’t accept him as a whole, like Elektra. But, at least, Elektra accepted how toxic and bad she is for him. Karen is portrayed as a victim and a great, great person, as I said.

S2 had this scene in episode 7 that made it clear to me that Karen and Matt could and MUST never be together. I don’t even know if I have to explain, the dialogue is quite clear:

Not only Karen stood up for Frank Castle (who almost got her killed, killed so many people, and should be in jail), but she also compared his actions to Daredevil’s actions. She justifies murder probably because she did it too. Matt and Karen are in opposite positions and the message is loud: they could never be together. Not killing people is the fundamental principle Daredevil/Matt has, the one that makes him who he is actually. Things would be completely different if he actually took someone’s life (bad or not) for lawyer Matt and Daredevil.

For Matt: Vengeance isn’t justice and no person is God so he can decide who lives and who dies. In She-Hulk: Attorney At Law (1x08), Matt tells Jennifer: I think you’re in a unique position to do some real good. Jen Walters can use the law to help people when society fails them. She-Hulk can help people when the law fails them; which reminds me of his talk with Foggy in S1 when he finds out Matt is Daredevil:

It shows his views didn’t change and it’s quite moving to see Matt giving someone else (someone in the same position as he is) this piece of advice. It shows he finally accepted he has two sides, despite everyone else’s attempts to control him.

Their date in S2 started as quite a disaster: in a place Matt despites, awkward, and tensed, and then Elektra called! It was clear what the writers wanted to show (despite them having a better date later) and it was also clear Matt wasn’t 100% healed and that Karen and Matt were never going to be serious. So no matter how much they tries in the seconds part of S3 to push Karen and Matt closer, it looked forced, out of the place. Especially since she felt something for Frank Castle and the things that happened in the first part of the season.

Also, I can’t believe the writers made Matt reveal his face to Agent Nadeem cause he saved Karen’s life. This is infuriating.

And as much as Matt probably likes the idea of peaceful life, he would never be happy with Karen, nor make her happy. Because there will always be that Murdock side of him she will never understand just like it will always be the killer side of her he would never understand.

Matt: You deserve better, Karen… Karen: So do you...  (The Defenders, 1x05)

Frank, on the other hand, and her match. Crazy, right? But they did from day 1, even in the worst situations. She always felt drawn to him and she did not use the innocent facade as she did with Matt (Can you believe she kind of blamed him for not telling him the truth about Wesley cause he saw her as an innocent person?). She was there for him, he was there for her. They were attracted to each other (despite him still being emotionally unavailable because he is scared he’d lose her). She would rather be with him than with Matt 100% because they are similar. She had the nerve to defend his actions and mindset in Matt’s house after all. But they really match and I really believe she should be with him and live somewhere far away from Hell’s Kitchen.

Frank: I need to find these b*stards that took 'em from me. I gotta kill 'em. Karen: So where does that end, Frank? Because I look at you and... my heart breaks because all I can see is just this endless, echoing loneliness. Frank: I'm not lonely, Karen. Karen: Bullsh*t. We are all lonely. I sometimes think that that is all that life is, we're just... We're just fighting not to be alone. Frank: So what do you want? What should I do? Should I let it go? Karen: No, but I want there to be an after. For you. (The Punisher, 1x05)

In conclusion, Karen Page is not a good character despite the writers’ efforts to show otherwise. She puts everyone in danger and never pays for her mistakes and actions.

P.S. I will say this again: no, she did not deserve to be next to Nelson and Murdock: Attorneys At Law.

[sr-stories]

4, 6, 12 for Cedric

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

If I could put Cedric in any other piece of media, it would put him in the movie "It Chapter Two." Hear me out. The purpose of this film is to teach people that the only way to overcome your fears is to face them head-on. Pennywise, aka the antagonist of this story, is a physical manifestation of fear itself. It feasts on the fear—and flesh—of its victims until there's nothing left of them. In Cedric's case, his greatest fear is failure. He wants to prove to everyone that he isn't the bungler they make him out to be. However, this constant need to prove himself worthy led him down a dark path. 

Cedric believed that if he became king, everyone would finally see what a "great sorcerer" he truly is. He ended up freezing Sofia's family with the Medusa Stone in Day of the Sorcerers. Of course, Sofia saved her family by plucking the stone off Cedric's wand and dropping it on the ground. Later on in season four, Cedric states that he'll never forget his "shameful actions." This statement alone shows just how much his mistakes affect him on a daily basis. But where did this all stem from? 

In the episode Through the Looking Back Glass, we figure out a crucial event from Cedric's past that changed his life for the worst. The setting of the incident took place at Cordelia's Sorceress Ball. Cedric promised his sister that her ball would be unforgettable. And boy was the lad right about that. "My life was never the same after that day. Everyone in the kingdom—Cordelia, my father, your father—from that day on, they all thought of me as 'Cedric the Bungler'. And the worst part is... it was not my fault." Even though Cedric ended up turning a new page in the spellbook—his words, not mine—I think it would be interesting if he came face-to-face with Pennywise. Does the royal sorcerer have what it takes to face it head-on?

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

What Cedric and I have in common is how we let our nerves get the better of us from time to time. I took a public speaking course during my freshman year of college that started at 5 pm and ended at 7:30 pm. Whenever it was my turn to present, my voice would crack as soon as I opened my mouth. This is a nod to that scene in Cedric's Apprentice where Cedric had to perform a magic act for King Roland II and King Magnus. His opening line was a feeble, "Good evening." When I watched this scene for the first time, I got second-hand embarrassment. Poor Cedric.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I actually have a bunch of Cedric headcanons that I'd like to share. However, I'm only going to share one for the sake of your time and sanity.

When Cedric was a teenager, he wrote a 200k-word fanfiction about meeting his idol Merlin and becoming his apprentice.

I headcanon that whenever Cedric grows out his hair, he brushes it against his lips to ease his nerves. I'm totally not projecting myself onto him. That's not what I'm doing. (It is.)

[librarianandguardian]

My Moonshine - Geto x GN!Reader

Pairing : S2!Geto Suguru x Gender Neutral!Reader

Word count : 2 938 (= 7 Google Doc pages)

Warnings : Canon Divergence (of some sort), Mentions of dark thoughts, looming dread of death (just looming), angst/comfort

/!\ Spoilers for the end of the 1st part of JJK Season 2. Proceed at your own risk /!\

A.N : Okay... I know I post every new blood moon... But hey new fic ! Bear with me, I needed to comfort myself after seeing the Hidden Inventory/Premature Death Arc animated. I was dreading to see it animated because... Heartbreaking. Just as scared for Shibuya. Anyway definitely Canon divergence I'M HERE FOR IT OKAY.

Being a good exorcist was easy. Being a talented exorcist could come from two paths : birthright or hard work. You considered yourself a hard working one. The cursed technique bestowed upon you yielded terrifying consequences. But offered wonderful opportunities. Water. The element of life, creating and keeping alive. The spirits of Nature were and are to this day, the kindest beings of this world. So their wrath can be as burning as their love for their disciples.

And you started to wonder if you hadn’t offended someone. Hand on your right flank, your body, folded in a corner, was waiting for the curses to pass by you. Though, there seemed to be little chances of survival with the scent of your blood everywhere on the floor. This mission was supposed to be in, kill, out. One curse, one hour maximum to find it. Yet your life was flashing before your eyes, a gentle sob needing to spill out. Time couldn’t rob you like that. Not now.

The celestial body was dead, Haibara-kun too and Nanami quit to be “normal”. All your friends fell through repetitive depressive episodes; Shoko started drinking atop of her smoking habit, Gojo though more mature was now endangering students, fighting more and more with Geto, whom blamed himself for the death of Riko and Haibara. Geto… Your moonshine. With his man bun. His stupid wit. His ease. When everything was going to hell, you would both bitch about Gojo together, pass out on the common room’s couch in eased silence, dance on new tracks with Shoko by your side. He always had bad days, but they were becoming more and more violent. And all these rituals were less and less vibrant. He never fell asleep; he hummed, no more wits; stared with an empty look at that wall while listening to new tracks. Honestly ? You were so used to grieving that cheering people up became a reflex.

Cry at night, smile to people to shine. Be their light.

You knew it was bad for you. But your heart couldn’t bare to see others endure what you had.

Be the balm you didn’t have back then.

Another hard truth ? Your mind was cracking. Only two years had gone by. Your pain drowning you slowly, week by week. No one was cheering up. You were feeling useless. Just like this instant. Curled up in a ball, life draining slowly. Exhausted from your first insomnias these past few days. Surprised on a dangerous mission. Why did the higher-ups send you alone on this ? Did they see how useless you were becoming as you aged ? No… Why would they…

Low growls neared your corner. Rusted furniture was protecting you for now. Maybe their ironish smell would fool them. Or did they fool you ? No wish of yours had ever been so strong than the one clouding your mind right now.

Heat Wave. A fan. A white ceiling with bamboo planks. Shorts and tank tops. An opened couch and pillows. Suguru softly breathing next to you, his phone battery dead, one earbud in, the other out, a bit of saliva running out of his mouth. The window bay opened, the one facing the fresh forest, the gentle stream passing through the pond tinking. Stars in a clear sky, accompanied by the moon.

Why did you get the exact opposite ? And the sounds you wished to hear again…

“Thank you, Droplet. My heart is indebted to your generous one.” His index boops your nose, you giggle. “ Please, call on me if you need anything. I…” He pauses, serious, before gently tugging the handle of your lollipop to mess with you. “You and Shoko are the only ones keeping me sane these days.” Your hand grabs his to try to free the handle, as you both giggle. “Stay bright, little light.”

Well, if you didn’t turn into a vengeful spirit after all of these thoughts… Anything else your brain wants you to regret before you die ? A summer festival memory ! Sounds like a good way to wrap it up.

A Rainbow of traditional clothing. You loved yours. Geto had brought you to his favourite secret store of traditional clothing, where you found THE outfit for the festival. Smiles everywhere. Smells of food. Fireworks. Hugs. Songs. The fresh air of midnight. Your moonshine seeing you shivering. After a quick inquiry, his arms draped over your shoulders, covering you with his large black sleeves, as his chin rests at the top your head. That giant bastard did warm you up, but so did your cheeks and heart. You wondered how you could get him to do that more often.

You had found out a few weeks later, while discussing with Utahime on the phone. Mortified described your state extremely well. None of you were ready to be in any kind of relationship. Your souls were vividly scarred by all the recent events. Broken can’t fix the broken. A couple is the union of two people, who know their personal value and want to add the other’s to theirs because they love it. It is an addition, not a completion to the hole in their heart. Geto had been a friend for so long now, that these sayings didn’t stop your thoughts about the possibility. He knew how to be an entire person without anyone, even if it hurt him at times; he could choose his addition without a worry. But what about you, still fighting against your people pleasing habits, oblivious to yourself worth ?

The snarls of the curse were right next to you. It had stopped, sensing your presence, searching. Its head turned left, towards your spot then right. It sniffed carefully around the abandoned building. The air was mossy, rancid, dusty. Your blood could blend with the rust. Your breaths were short, eyes tightly closed. The curse was constituted partly of water. You could trace its movement, anticipating your probable death. Speaking of which, you decide to make peace with it all. Step by step. In your mind, three different versions of you appeared : a child, a teenager, a young adult.

You cherished our alone time and hobbies all while being a busy exorcist. We are soo badass !

I kept that part of myself. Thank you, little light.

You weren’t a scared teenager anymore. You fought, saved people, protected the one you love. Our mind and our heart cooperate without bitterness now. That’s one hell of an accomplishment.

I’m proud of myself. Thank you, we’re saved.

We both know what we want now, don’t we ? You have been blind on purpose because you were scared.

Of what ?

Appearing cold when mourning. Too cheery on a daily basis, while everyone was sad. To equal your seniors. To admit you finally fell in love.

…

It’s not because they didn’t cheer up every day that you failed. The important thing is that you stay true. He wants you by his side, so do you. We jump towards our death in every mission. Allow yourself some moonshine in this dreary life. A droplet can change everything. Survive.

You opened your eyes. The curse had turned its head back near the rusted furniture protecting you. Okay, it was big. But full of water. You control water. It could work, right ? Your wound wasn’t too bad for now. Your hand covered in blood would argue, but it couldn’t speak, so fuck it. Drawing a deep breath in, your legs sprung you out of your hiding spot. The curse screamed, extending its hands to you. Its mouth wide open, you saw some saliva. Perfect.

Thank you, Droplet.

You screamed in return, letting some tears fall out of your eyes. You infused them with cursed energy, alongside your sweat. You would have preferred to use external water like a puddle but oh well. Even the moss would not have been enough. Tears and sweat are highly linked to emotions, making them potent catalytic fluids. You would tire quicker, but it was the best way to get out of here. Creating a string with a hook, you launched it inside the mouth. Got the connection.

First step : letting it swallow some more. Screaming some tears out, your cursed energy allowed you some strength. The string got longer, the curse swallowed.

Second step : deeper. The sheer need to resist the pull made you sweat some more. The thread became longer, the curse falling deeper into your trap. The map of its in and out was clear now.

Third step : Hook and tear apart. That could be trickier. Your strength had its limits, especially with a wound. Draining your own water… Everyone says it’s a dumb idea. But you know why you use it; last resort.

Your feet firmly planted on the ground, you pull. Shivers and tremors ran through you. One of your knees touched the ground. Your throat got drier by the second. But you screamed. Your heart wanted to make it out of here to spill it all out to your moonshine. Deep down, you knew that because you and Shoko were behind him, Geto stayed somewhat sane. That he didn’t jump off of an edge you could not have saved him from.

If you die, he might let go.

Hell no. Not on your watch. That moonshine would not disappear. Your tired arms pulled. Your cursed energy went up some more. It didn’t seem like enough. Wrapping the thread around your wrist, your now free second hand straightened in the direction of the curse. It was going to act like a magnet to the hook, to pierce through the curse. You loosened the thread a little. This was your riskiest manoeuvre : a few seconds of inattention and you’d be dead.

The curse wailed ; the hook was slowly coming out. But it started shaking left and right. Now you were fucked. Still, as hopeful as ever, you kept going. Your thoughts were on a loop, like a broken record.

I want more time. I want more time. I want more time. I want more time.

Something ran down your nose. On your right flank too. Blood, probably.

I need more time. I need more time. I need more time. I need more time.

A swift breeze blew behind your back. Opening your eyes, a giant white dragon flew through the opening your hook had created, tearing the last curse of your mission apart. Your thread and hook dematerialised. The tension of your body evaporated. Your muscles became jelly. The dragon came to you, sniffing you. A smile crossed your features. Someone called out your name, far, getting closer, next to your face. You couldn’t leave the dragon’s gaze, the happiness it brought you. A few words leave your mouth, before you blacked out head first on the fuzzy head in front of you.

“ I’m ok. ”

Shoko contemplated the night sky. She had never been into it. Until one fateful pyjama party involving you and your random knowledge. It soothed her now. A puff of smoke ascended towards it. The state you came back in was not too bad, you were mainly exhausted. Your wound healed up without a problem. She could recognize the signs of insomnias on your body; paler skin, darker under-eyes, shallow breaths. Your undying resolve to cheer was fading.

Did you think of Death, good friend ?

Another puff of smoke flew up. Maybe Shoko should stop smoking. Go on your little mental health walks with you. Cry with you. Grieve together. A cold breeze blew her hair away. For tonight though, she’d leave you to your peace. She giggled tenderly. What a surprise you’d have waking up. Smashing the butt of her cigarette into a pot, her arms snuggled her white blouse closer around her turtleneck. She often wished to have a Geto of her own.

“I won’t let you freeze, Droplet.”

Those are the last words you thought you would hear waking up. Your nose ran a little, your feet feeling the cold air of the room; as well as a pair of legs. Slowly emerging, your forehead noted the warm chest it rested against. A big hand was rubbing the back of your head. Your back shivered at the contrast between the air and the arm circling it, the hand politely resting on your side. Lips kissed the top of your hair.

“Please never do that again. That was so reckless of you. Did you really think we wouldn’t back you up ? Even if we were forbidden to do so ? ”

One of your hands, bunched up against your own chest, grabbed onto the black t-shirt in front of you. You had woken up a few times, mere seconds each, but every time you felt like shit. Your brain was letting your heart loose. You wanted to cry so bad. But exhaustion put you back to sleep just before you could. However now, you were fully awake and ready to burst. Your nostrils recognized the perfume next to you. He saved you, probably watched you bleed out without knowing if it was fatal or not, and stayed by your side for hours on end. A sob above you invaded your ear.

“We need… I want you by my side for all of this. I want to smile with you. Be a brat with you. I-”

Another sob. Tears dropped on your cheeks.

“Nap like we’re in a coma in summer. Hold you on a cold night of a festival. Hug when we’re sad for whatever reason.”

If he hadn’t noticed you yet, that would do it. A shaky breath escaped your mouth a little too loudly. You sniffed. The hand on your side twitched a bit, indicating Geto had in fact heard you, freezing in place.

“Are you ?...”

You buried your head in his neck, rounding his torso with your arms, crying. He probably had to fight Shoko to be able to lay in your infirmary bed like that. Instinctively, his arms held you tighter, leaving you some time; taking some time for him to cry too. Your hands grabbed the back of his shirt with urge, afraid to lose it.

“I want you too. I jumped out to save myself because I wanted to live please… don’t…”

Even though Geto was shaky, he loosened his grip to let you look at his face. Dark circles, wrinkles from the sheets and a small cut on his left cheek. His voice only shushed you gently, the hand on your side cupping the side of your face to rub his thumb on your temple. Your eyes met. He nodded to you, exhaling all the air in his lungs. You followed, warmed up by his attempt to help breath smoothly again. You synchronised, like every time you eased the other out of sadness. These breathing exercises had been transmitted by one of the spirits of the water you met long ago. A gentle puddle pushed by the wind. You were crying your eyes out in the forest, having seen another one of your friends die in a trial. The puddle worked with the wind to move in slow motions, allowing you to sync your breath with them.

One out for one, two, three, four ripples. One in for one, two, three, four ripples… Halt ! One ripple. Two ripples.

“Three ripples. Four ripples. Let loose, Droplet.”

The hand on your face moved back to your hair, caressing them.

“Are you feeling better ?”

With one last breath out, a small smile appeared on your features. Your body was warm from head to toe, happy to be alive, to have him so close.

“Thanks to you, Suguru.”

His eyes widened again, a slight blush covering his cheeks. The moments he could help you back were so rare. You thanked him every time. However you had just confessed to him. Fireworks went off in his brain, barely believing it. He was getting delirious after worrying so much at night, right ? Or was he dreaming ? A mental slap later, his heart screamed to be in the moment. So as sly as ever, he grinned after scoffing.

“Don’t mention it.”

You shook your head, amused. Hugging him again, you wondered if what you both said earlier was going to be talked about tonight. A light breeze made his arms hold you a little closer. He kissed one of your temples. Maybe you should have that conversation. Pushing it back wouldn’t be any good. The night was still young.

“So, heard you say you wanted me, little light ? Is that true ?”

You huffed a laugh at his casual tone, knowing full well that his heart was hammering against one of your ears.

“Yes. I believe it was an appropriate response to your lengthy love declaration. That you professed while you thought I SLEPT. That is so mean. Never hide your feelings like that with me, please ? ”

It was his turn to laugh. But no mockery laced his voice. Just a little bit of admiration. You had been on Death’s door. Yet here you were, scolding him with your entire heart.

“I promise, Droplet. Would you do the same ?”

Your head lifted to watch him. His face seemed so relaxed. Did all of this mean you could get infinite free hugs and that beautiful smile all day long ?

“I promise, Moonshine.”

Maybe the next few years aren’t going to be too bad.

[fandomsandflyingstingrays]

Full Thoughts on TDP Season 5

Under the cut, because there are many of them!

Starting off with things I liked:

Rayllum! It was so good to see them on the same page again, and they have a perfect balance between deep, romantic devotion and the shared laughter and gestures of best friends. Their dynamic this season was my favorite iteration of them so far

Janai and Amaya were wonderful as well. I was really bracing for Amaya to leave for Lux Area without telling Janai and a whole bunch of drama to ensue, but no! They communicate! They trust each other! It's so refreshing!

Side note: Lux Area was gorgeous the detail in every shot of the city and Bookery was so good. I want to live there. I will take on the night creatures if need be

I hoped we'd get an apology from Amaya for Rayla, and I'm really glad they took the time to put it in the show instead of a short story or anything like that. It was also cool to see Amaya recognizing the similarities she and Rayla share and acting as more of a mentor to her, I hope we see more of them together later on

The reoccurring message that oftentimes the best way to be strong is by going to other people for help- first Amaya's story, then Rayla trusting Callum, then Zubeia's talk with Avizandum. It's a very good moral

That whole thing with Soren and Elmer! Breaking the cycle of cruelty! I love Soren so much

Callum using dark magic again. I thought I would hate it if that happened, since we've seen a corruption plotline with him and with Claudia already, but the way it was done sort of added a good sense of realism. I like that Callum isn't a Perfectly Moral Mage just because he can do primal magic; it feels deeper and more complicated if he has to recognize that the easier, darker choice is always there, and sometimes he won't be able to resist it, but he has to try each time anyway

So many little moments that I'll probably be going into in separate posts because the dynamic between the characters was on fire. It was so good to see the team really working together, their chemistry was so good

Things I wasn't as much of a fan of:

The problem with the show really relying on people to read all the supplementary material is still present. I was pretty confused about who Kpp'Ar was until I looked him up on the wiki, and again, people who didn't know about Soren getting sick as a kid from the Book 2 novelization really wouldn't have gotten his part of the dream sequence. It doesn't ruin the show or anything but it does make it a little confusing at times

The plotline with the coins is starting to feel a little drawn-out. Runaan's presence would bring up enough complications between Rayla and the rest of the group that he needs enough time out of the coin to give that the weight it deserves, and I'm really hoping he gets out next season so we can have at least season 7 to go into that. Also, Ethari needs his husband back

As good as it was to see rayllum back together, I do still think we needed a scene of them actually talking things through. I'm sure it'll appear in a Reflections story at some point, but again, you don't want your show to lean that heavily on the bonus material

This is more of a nitpick than anything else, but the characters' faces in the early episodes felt really stiff. They'd be having a monologue where you could really hear the emotion in their voices, but their faces just... didn't really move

And finally: too many crabs. This is not a flaw with the season this is just because I personally am freaked out by crabs and I've never been so horrified in all my life as when the true nature of Finnegrin's ship was revealed. It'll haunt me forever

Overall I liked it a lot, and I'm really excited to see where it goes next! Claudia feels like she's on the very edge of the point of no return, if she hasn't already crossed it, and it'll be very interesting to see how she reacts to the loss of her leg and (most likely) the loss of her father next season. I'm also very excited for the nova blade, that sounds like a gorgeous piece of weaponry and seeing whoever wields it (my money's on Rayla) fighting Aaravos is going to be epic. This season has definitely ratcheted up my investment in the show, which I'm very excited about

[megabuild]

would you be down to summarize the podcast ep briefly ?<-guy who sucks at podcasts

i had clipped some stuff for the first part already so i'll add them in!

bdubs cites steve carrell as an early inspo, because the office was popular at the time he started making videos; he also talks about watching looney tunes as a kid and says his delivery as a character is similar to daffy duck

(impulse also cites bdubs as an inspo of his own, goes as far as to say he mimicked him in some early videos)

skizz talks about bdubs' delivery and acting being part of the reason people assume the life series is scripted. they also have a nice acknowledgement of the problems that come with planning and scripting.

bdubs mentions seananners, coestar and his brother pungence as some of the first people he saw playing minecraft.

impulse say that in bdubs' first video he promises to become one of the best minecraft builders there is. bdubs gets very humble and mentions again that he's not good with compliments.

bdubs says he draws now but before minecraft had basically no creative talent, outside of music, which he had to work hard at. skizz goes on an insane tangent about his high school girlfriend drawing a pointillism piece of a lion that seamlessly transitioned into sean connery halfway across the page. i had to rewind this part a few times because i kept losing track of what the fuck he was talking about

bdubs initially kept being a youtuber a secret from his wife, who he was still dating at the time, and planned to give it up when he got married and become a contractor full time. however, when he told her about it, she encouraged him and was the person who suggested he take it full time; bdubs himself says that since it was a family business, he would never had given it up without her encouragement.

impulse talks about meeting the mindcrackers as a fan, and how bdubs took the time to speak properly to every kid at his table and give them autographs, to the point where the building actually closed up and he still had people waiting- so he took them all out and did more autographs and meets in the parking lot

they talk about beau the trucker, his streamer persona, and how that came about (it was generikb's idea). bdubs said part of the reason he switched to streaming at that time was because content creation is a 24/7 job and it was putting strain onto his wife who was struggling to take care of their two children. i can't really summarise this well as it's a personal anecdote but it begins at about 38 minutes in. he also mentioned he was very nervous about singing on stream.

this leads into them talking about the "dark moments" and valleys in the career of a youtuber, where bdubs discusses the death of his daughter ivy rose; again, i don't feel comfortable summarising this, but it's a very touching discussion of how he couldn't imagine making content again but decided he didn't want people to associate her with him not making videos anymore. it starts at around 52 minutes in.

that brings them up to him coming back to hermitcraft season 6, where the video ends! bdubs promises to talk about his onlyfans in the next episode.

[chibivesicle]

The woes of running a secret organization; Steven’s burden and complex partnership with K.K.

It is time for some manga meta for Kekkai Sensen!  Yes, we will be delving into manga only content through Back 2 Back and the Calamity Auction arc.  Anyone who has been reading my meta since Golden Kamuy means I have a love of certain types of characters and Steven and K.K. really fall into that type.

I’m really interested to delve into Steven first and then K. K. (in a later post) but she’ll be in this one for sure because K. K. is intimately tied to Steven all the time in the manga (and I don’t mean in a sexual sort of way).

My previous Steven meta was only based on the anime for the most part and up through episode 7 of season 2.  Which really is more stuff from what should have happened before events of season 1.  Yet, I digress.  I’ve already put out there that Steven has an immense sadness about him in part with how he’s alone and has been making life choices to keep himself alone.

One should always be concerned if this is how you encounter him in the dead of night.

Steven is the ice cold pragmatist to Klaus’ fire filled idealism.  Certainly, one always needs to look for that single flicker of light but Klaus can state this openly since someone else is in the dark corners trying to make sure it happens.  That being Steven.

Kekkai Sensen characterization and moral conflict scenes

Early on when Steven and K. K. take on the first named Blood Breed in the 23rd Street Station, K. K. gives him absolute shit for being with such a black hearted man.  This implies that K. K. is knowledgeable or bold enough to verbally acknowledge that Steven doesn’t always do things above the board.  Which likely means that Klaus has to know this as well on some level.  Klaus isn’t naive, he’s more compassionate than most but will still crush you if you are inhumane. 

Early on, Steven is set up as the deadpan snarker, with a quick quip or sarcastic comment.  He loves his coffee and can get seriously hangry (where is my subway sandwich?) and does a lot of boring paperwork that no one else does. 

We learn that in ‘Day In Day Out’ about his swanky condo, sophisticated, educated circle of human friends.  Who aren’t really good friends.

It says a lot that he’s got Mrs. Veded as his Beyondian housekeeper with whom he is relaxed and chill with.  He even appreciates her roast beef enough to smile softly commenting on it. 

We also get to see how his relaxed clothing is a white dress shirt, dark pants and slippers.  Not only is he in his own home, but Steven is always on guard when out and about.  It took me a few reads of this to notice that the manga showing his slippers indicates that he is safe with her.  He’s not wearing his special Esmeralda Blood Freeze shoes.

I am always a sucker for domestic scenes and love the one with him chopping and cooking with Mrs. Veded for his party.  The first person to arrive is Ellen with her new boyfriend/male fling/something.

Steven is blushing hardcore as he smiles at first.  I think it is pretty clear that they were involved romantically at some point in time previously.  This is backed up by the next page.  They hug while the other guy is just standing there and Ellen even tells Veded that her tentacles look great which is like your hair looks great.  I think.  She then finally introduces her date.

That is totally a sort of, yeah here was my past fling current date vibe there.  The other guests then start to arrive.  Everyone seems to know that Steven is overworked and they joke about helping him to party more.

What is most telling though is when he approaches Veded.  We can see that his shoes are his work shoes.  If he felt okay with the guests, than he’d perhaps wear non-vampire hunting shoes, but he’s got them on.

He thanks Veded for her help and makes it very very clear that she’s done for the night.  Only after she leaves does he get a severe expression and tells himself to get things started.

There are almost two pages of all the guests at the dinner party talking to each other in groups while Steven is - completely absent.  We only see him when he volunteers to get beer for a few people who are out from the kitchen.  When his back is turned to them, they all draw their bioweapons on him and it becomes awkward as they request that he come with them or else.  They lay down their job to capture him as a key member of Libra and he at first tries to jest with them.

His snark is on full force when he thanks them for not killing him violently and destroying his place.  But even more so that if they wasted that precious Veded roast beef.  If Steven cares about you - he really takes anything related to you seriously.  Was that roast beef made with care and attention?  Yes, thus, the roast beef is to be protected!

The entire group is frozen by his Needles of Absolute Zero attack and then he proceeds to tell them how they blew it.  The manga takes it even further with more examples of his observations of various people.  His comment about Ellen’s perfume continues the idea that they had been involved when he tells her, that she was previously worried about it being too strong.  You’d have to be up close and personal for someone to worry enough about if your perfume is too strong for them. 

They of course think that Steven has Libra do his dirty work but that is not the case, he reveals to them that he’s got his own squad to deal with threats like this - ones that can impact key members of Libra, like himself and eliminate them before they get to the rest of the team.  Their job is to maintain balance and Steven will maintain that balance.

Steven is also bold enough to reveal that Klaus wouldn’t condone what is about to happen to them with his personal crew but that being interrogated is not going to be good.

He leaves his subordinate to clean things up while he goes out for fresh air with a look of utter defeat and sadness.  The man can’t even have a dinner party without people wanting to kidnap/torture/kill him.  Fun times.  The fact that he goes out alone and then thinks back to the friends he froze and sent off for intel purposes.  That has got to suck on so many levels, but what would you do? Let them kill you? Use you to hurt your friends and colleagues and disrupt that balance?

His entire lambasting of himself for having too much fun and being normal is sad and pathetic in the worst way possible.  He can’t have any happiness or friends with his job.

Which is why when Veded stops by to check in on him with the party already being over it is so heart warming. He gets to thank her properly.  Technically, his party was a complete failure but she was great.  He also is polite and friendly with her kids.  How many times do humans in Kekkai Sensen act totally normal with Beyondians besides Leo that we see?

This entire interaction between Steven and Veded’s family and the cat shows that he’s someone who cares about all of the residents of HL and wants to protect all of them.  He also gives thanks and means it, not some sort of lip service.  Other than Leo, the only other character who has totally normal actions with Beyondians on a regular basis is Klaus, but Klaus is the ultimate example of this.  This is also before Zed joined their team so the current Libra line up lacked a full non-human.

Another aspect of Steven that is established very early on in volume 1 is how he will act when someone acts against Libra.  In this case, it is when Leo was kidnapped. 

He is organizing the entire team to rescue Leo to make it clear that whatever you do, Libra will comeback with way more force to make you suffer.  And the rest of the team doesn’t have an issue with this policy, they all follow it and operate with full force to stop the other party.  AKA, You hurt someone on my team, I will make you suffer tenfold more. 

We also get another example of Steven using any means necessary to acquire information in volume 6 about criminal activity in the city.  Including seducing a police officer and stealing a USB drive from her.  He clearly left her hot and bothered and is strolling along alone before spotting Klaus.  Whatever they were up to, he took of his jacket and tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt and things were getting heated.  Until he isn’t and he quickly makes himself presentable for the general public (which in his case is tie and jacket).

He’s cold as he shows him the drive.  Klaus didn’t even ask him to tell him about it, and Steven isn’t cocky either.

However, this is really it for the first ten volumes.  We know he has his personal squad for dirty but necessary deeds, has definitely used his sex appeal to his advantage and is very protective of those he cares about.

The story continues on with Kekkai Sensen Back 2 Back for another ten volumes.

Kekkai Sensen Back 2 Back increases the stakes for Steven’s actions

We get the return of Steven’s personal clean up squad, who also get some more fleshed out information than just being giant thugs.

The background is made clear, for two weeks, Klaus is traveling around the world for Libra business with Gilbert and K. K.  That’s right, Steven’s most frequent partner is out of the country.

We learn that Zapp and Zed are in the hospital after being seriously injured by a foe they barely escaped.  This indirectly tells us that someone is out there targeting Libra while Klaus, K.K. and Gilbert are away.  This means that Steven is in charge.

Patrick really hammers this home for the reading making it obvious that this was not normal and we get this guy named Garrett introduced.  He decides to purchase something crazy dangerous and Patrick is concerned about giving him something so powerful.

But in the end, he heads out (notice the number of deadbolts on that door!).

Of course this random guy named Garrett is immediately drawn in such a way that we are suspicious of him.  He looks like he’s just walking calmly away but then we see his face shaded in darkness.  He’s got an agenda for sure.

Obvious suspicious character warning 101 right here.  He proceeds to go into a diner.  A lithe individual with a baseball cap and glasses sits down next to him and does something super fast to connect to the man’s phone.  The mysterious team gain critical information and decide it is time to contact “Frost”.  I’m sorry Steven, but pick a better code name  9_9 . 

They speak simply in fear of someone else overhearing them and we can only think who will be woken up.  As in these individuals aren’t free to do their own things and have a specific job.

Garrett drives to an abandoned alleyway and arrives at his meeting place.  Only to find Steven alone.  He at first seems concerned and when he realizes it is Steven his eyes fly open in shock.

We see a very closed off and cold Steven.  He’s still slouching but subdued and not looking up either.  He is incredibly calm as he addresses Garrett making it clear that the jig is up and Garrett should give up.

Of course, those who he was working with appear.  It is the woman from before directly addressing him for figuring out that they’d infiltrated Libra.  Thus, Steven is also using himself as bait to draw out the nefarious party.  However, he makes it clear that Steven’s behavior is one where he lacks trust in them.

I would think that it is less about Steven not trusting them, but more that it is his job to protect them from having to deal with this.  Or that he feels that it is his job to protect the rest of the team from this dirty work.  Additionally, Steven wants to punish those who hurt his teammates. Way back in chapter 4, Steven made it clear if someone fucks with Libra they will respond in kind.  Of course he hasn’t changed how he feels about these sorts of things since he first appeared in volume 1.  She seriously injured Zed and Zapp and Steven is not going to let her forget about that.

His squad is able to pin down the tricky tentacle monster and he asks if they are going to kill her or not.  Yet, it seems that she might be in trouble having tussled with them even if they try to get information out of her.  Steven maintains a straight face at Garrett looks concerned.

The expression from Steven where he looks dumbfounded that Garrett is assuming that he’s a cold-blooded man seeing all beings as disposable which is harsh.  However, he does add that what will happen to her isn’t going to be pleasant.  Intelligence seems sexy when you think of James Bond movies and Spy x Family, but so much of it represents an incredibly dark side of human nature.  Think more along the lines of Tinker Tailor Solider Spy.  Focusing on the lack of humanity demonstrated by the agents and the KGB and what snippets we get today from US intelligence etc etc etc.

What is most interesting is that Steven takes the time to explain why he’s doing what he’s doing.  Which honestly, I don’t think Garrett needs or deserves this since the context would imply that Garrett was a voluntary defector trying to take down Libra.  The fact that he was eavesdropping on Leo’s conversation with Patrick and Neyka implies that Garrett was confirming that she hurt them and likely helped her to cross paths with them.

Steven is completely business about this.  He is managing a crisis, where he has a rat who has compromised the nature of Libra.  Yes, he’s going to find out what Garrett knows methodically.

In the face of such a terrifying thought, Garrett of course asks if this is the real Steven and throws out the obvious comparison to Klaus, upright to a fault.  This was the absolutely worst thing that he could say to Steven.  His eyes narrow and his expression becomes so awful that Garrett is shocked.

The bottom panel shows a man who is beyond upset.  He’s sad, disappointed, angry, resigned, foul, and worn out.  Steven doesn’t want to do this.  It isn’t like he gets up in the morning wondering if he’ll get to interrogate a traitor, who already injured several of his colleagues and was going to injure more.

The action then shifts to the morning as they had limited time to act at night to capture Garrett and get to work.  Steven is outside talking with his assistant as they discuss Garrett’s words about what Klaus would think about the situation.  The assistant notes that even though Klaus would ultimately reach the same conclusion, he would have tried to take on the pain of someone like Garrett until his actions resulted in the inevitable self-destruction by his actions, likely at the hands of Libra.

The nameless aid is trying his best to make Steven feel better.  He believes that one who is the direct aide to a leader is to keep that leader on their path by dealing with things that would distract them and prevent them from being overburdened with more responsibilities.  And here, I 100% think that Steven’s aide believes this and is how he does his job as the coordinator for Steven’s squad.

Steven ask him to confirm the statement and he makes it clear that it is the truth.  However,  the blank expression on Steven’s face tells us that he doesn’t have that sort of faith in his actions.  First, hesitant to speak and then only to say “That would be nice, but” and he never completes the statement.

The rest of the team wants him to return since they are having a post-mission office party.  I mean, gotta keep up team morale for preventing more damage to Libra.  In the end, Steven approves a drink for the strange baby genius and we never get to learn what Steven is thinking but it is clear that he does feel guilty and doesn’t want this to be a part of his job. 

This entire chapter shows that Steven is willing to do that it takes to protect the balance, in the city, within Libra and his friends and colleagues. 

But this chapter is a teaser preview for the next time that Steven wonders what is right and necessary in a crisis. Again, when he is in charge since Klaus was arrested and he ordered Steven to take the rest of the team and escape.

The evil human eating pot broke open releasing a monstrous creature that Leo rescued and took to the hospital.  Using the All Seeing Eyes of the Gods, he determines that the horrible creature is what remains of some of the victims of the pot and the auction house wants it returned to them to put back in the pot.

What is also important to note is that most of the team are present, K. K., Zapp, Zed, Leo and Steven.  Leo reveals to the group that the ‘thing’ is human and Steven hunches over it asking if it is alive.

The group needs to determine what to do next.  He then looks to the medical professionals for an opinion, where they aren’t sure what to do other than note, it is seriously messed up.  Steven knows that it will likely draw trouble to them or cause more so he keeps his back to them when he tells them to leave.  The flushed expression on his face and inability to see his eyes tells us that he’s thinking of how to put it out of its misery.

He’s officially the one in charge and he’s thinking about what is the least risky thing to do.  Leo argues back that the children that were fed to it are still alive and this wasn’t their choice.  But the one who agrees with Steven is Zapp who manifests his blade and tells Leo to think rationally.  The easiest way is to prevent it from returning to the jar and completing the curse.

Zapp is thinking that these already non-humans have to be sacrificed to prevent the worse option from happening.

However, Zed then jumps in to fight Zapp, agreeing with Leo that it isn’t their place to kill it.  What is really great about the entire scene is that no morality is black or white and the Libra team are all using slightly different ways to look at the exact same situation.  As Zed and Zapp come to blows, Luciana stops them and makes it clear that no one is fighting or killing anything in the hospital. 

Steven then asks if they can remove it from the hospital to destroy it elsewhere.  The facial expression that he has is just so - ugh - why are you trying to hold this entire burden yourself Steven?

Yes, you are going to use the letter of the law to defeat the spirit of the law.  He looks absolutely terrible trying to think about what to do to protect everyone else.  Unlike the previous chapter with his interrogation squad and their hyper rational mindset that a second in command must do what ever it takes to support their leader, K. K. finally speaks having sat quietly in the background.  She does not mince her words, instead she acts like the brakes on his runaway train of thought.  Asking if he’s sure about it and using his full name for emphasis.  And then asking the question again implying he’d drop to the level he’s thinking about going.

And as she asks him, she furthermore tells him that she thought he was on the same page as Klaus and his beliefs.  This causes him to snap back into the situation.  We can see that his eyes are back to being both focused and more open in shock at her direct words to him.  K. K. isn’t screaming at him or being passionate, she delivered her words calmly and directly.  And it works.  The grim unfocused expression then becomes aware and  we can see his facial expression has shifted to tense and upset.  He was literally trying to disassociate himself from the situation until K. K. drags him back from the abyss.

Now, that pause is good as it stops Steven from snowballing himself to his own personal mental hell and more guilt.  It is also bad as it has given the brutal Tycoon brothers time to arrive to steal it back.  As their vampire gate manifests above him we see the look of absolute fear on Steven’s face as he’s seriously fucked.

With the situation spiraling out of control, it speaks to the level of trust between Steven and K. K.  The two of them immediately spring into action to give the rest of the team time to escape.  Steven’s kick is blocked and he gets tossed over K. K. who dodges him and manages to get close range shots at them.

K. K. may have questioned Steven’s potential action but she’s still going to defend her partner.  With Steven down for a short time, K. K. orders Leo, Zapp and Zed to leave.  Zapp tries to get in on the action -

Only for Steven to tell him to retreat.  K. K. and Steven are better equipped to fight them and they need someone to protect Leo and the escaped merged human monster from the pot.  The way that K. K. and Steven naturally stand up and next to each other shows that they know what the need to do.  Additionally, neither of them actually exchanged words.  Both of them gave orders to the rest of the group and not to each other.  This is different than our earlier K. K. and Steven scenes where Steven tries to keep them focused and K. K. complains about being teamed up with him.  They’ve fully accepted and understand how they work as a team. 

To convince Zapp to retreat, Steven still has to tell Zapp that he needs to do so and that he trusts him enough to figure out how to make things work.  Steven is an excellent manager of people and it shows when Zapp stands down.

Of course the situation becomes dire as Steven and K. K. get seriously wounded trying to take on the brothers.  Only Leo is able to step in to mess with their vision thus allowing for both groups to retreat.

Is the fact that Steven got seriously wounded sort of karmic for thinking about destroying it?  Likely not, as K. K. also suffered the same fate.

When Leo is on the run with the child monster of the pot, it is Steven who sneaks out of the hospital with K. K. of course.  I find it adorable that he apologizes to her as though his actions are inconveniencing her and she only smiles in reply knowing that he would not be able to sit back and recover while Leo was in danger.

K. K. knows him too well and she only can tease him that he’d have to become involved.  The humor then shifts when Steven gets to some sort of stash he has in a parking garage.  K. K. then gets to bitch at him for having a hidden change of clothing (since it is clearly a personal stash for him).  But the second panel is adorable.  We see his hand already wearing his blue shirt hold out a spare pair of pants.  And he apologizes asking if they would be okay.  Both Steven and K. K. are blushing as she accepts it.  You can see the blush under Steven’s right eye and K. K. under her left.  But that’s not all, being the gentleman that he is, he continues to change in the garage with his back to her as she puts on the pants in the car.

He unlocks his phone and gets on the Libra network while tightening his tie.  All Libra members are to find and protect Leo.  Right after sending it, he gets a backlog of Klaus’ texts to him after he broke out of jail.  That look of absolute shock as Steven has returned to his full strict mom mode.

That look of annoyance as he can’t get a hold of Klaus!  As the Calamity Auction arc comes to an end, the group are able to reconnect with Klaus and Leo at the shifting dimensional auction house.  As the hardworking teammates return to his aid, Klaus gives them a simple “Thank you.”

He’s looking a little rough around the edges but had committed to protecting Leo and the inhuman-human pot victim.  The expression on Steven’s face as Klaus continues to say that he’s been waiting for them.  Interestingly, this time, when we only see Steven’s mouth and nose, we don’t need to worry about if his eyes look unfocused and burdened.  The serious expression, softens to a grin and we know that Steven is glad to have Klaus back. 

They are best when they are all functioning as a team.  I look at it this way, Libra is the extra-governmental organization that maintains the balance of the worlds.  And within Libra itself each team member maintains balance within the organization to give the world balance.  The entire team rushed there to help Klaus so he didn’t hold the burden alone with Leo.  They are stronger as a team than as individuals.

Another great scene is in the chaotic final a battle, K. K. and Steven work together to hamper part of Curious’ personal team.  K. K. spots the monitoring spy eye.  She shoots it out preventing a remote response.

And right after K. K. does her job, Steven steps in to finish it off after K. K.’s electrified bullets do their action.  Again, no verbal communication between these two.  They really work well together.

Seriously, the level of understanding between them is great.

What I really liked about the whole season of Back 2 Back was how it took a lot of the moral grey area questions and pulled them front and center.  It continues to force the cast to ask themselves hard questions to which there are no correct answers to.  Instead, those questions are answered on each person’s individual morality and limits.  What actions can these people take and still sleep well at night.  What is something they cannot do.

Steven is a complex character - and therefore, likely why many readers really like him.  He isn’t someone who does questionable things because they are the most logical or rational way to act in the situation.  He’s doing them out of his role in Libra, to protect others and to maintain the balance in the big picture.  He tries to carry the burden of his actions and finds himself not convinced by the words of his own personal problem solving squad.  Which tells us that he likely wants to be able to be more like Klaus or Leo than like them. 

Steven understands worry -  I think back to the first volume where Steven sees how worried Klaus is - trying to look calm when Leo was kidnapped and then reminding himself that Klaus is tying himself in knots.  It is clear that any member of the cast can slide down that slippery slope of ‘but it was required for the cause.’  I feel like there is more to the interaction in the hospital as Zapp does not hesitate to second what Steven is thinking.  Zapp doesn’t want to do something terrible but he also thinks of the bigger picture.  Zed falls on the other side making them a two versus two.  Until K. K. steps in and calls Steven out.  It goes to show how much Steven respects K. K. and likely does not see her as someone to give orders to like Zapp, Leo or Zed and instead sees her as a peer.

Steven was clearly betrayed in the past - What I really want are Steven and K. K.’s backstories.  I think that it would really inform us of how they came to be and why both of them are so strong and stubborn at times.  I can’t help but think that Steven’s scar came from a situation where his trust was betrayed or someone in charge seriously fucked up.  He will not let that shit happen again, not with his team the only people he cares about besides his housekeeper.  And the general public at large.

K. K. is Steven’s other half - The two of them are an amazing pair.  They don’t need to speak and when they do, they are either apologizing or annoying the other one.  Yet, they totally respect each other.  Steve keeps K. K. serious and focused at times while she prevents him from digging himself into a deeper moral black hole. 

Steven is overly involved in making sure that things work and it clearly is something that he feels like he has to do or need to do.  When there might be other options.

Daniel Law leaves us off with his own personal motto, “It is my general rule to not trust anyone.” 

Sooooo really, Steven has more faith in people than our police detective. 

In the future, Steven, please get a therapist.  Take some time off for a spa day, shopping for new [same] yellow ties, trying to get his messy hair styled, reading multiple print newspapers and drink high quality small batch roasted coffee.  Or buy more artwork for your swanky condo and most importantly, please sleep.