#season 1 review and ramblings

[gregorovitch-adler]

A date after the crisis has been averted, at least temporarily.

You know you're down bad, completely fucked up in love when THAT is your reaction when your crush has (jokingly) called you a bastard. What's even the point, now? You're doomed!

So, I've finished watching Season 1 for the first time and here are my thoughts:

1.) I love the writing of this season overall. I haven't read the book, so can't make a comparison, but Satire is one of my favourite genres, and I love it when things like Religion and Righteousness™ are questioned and satirised.

Also, I loved how witty some of the dialogues were. This one, for example:

"I don't see what's so wrong with them (Adam and Eve) knowing the difference between good and evil." (Crowley says).

"It must be, otherwise you wouldn't have done it!" (says Aziraphale).

It effectively calls out the lack of reasoning and blind faith in the real world.

I love how nuanced these two are. Crowley is a demon and pretends to be the Big Bad but time and again proves that he does care. Even when he doesn't want to.

As for Aziraphale, he's a good person overall but it's not like he always makes the right choice. He's fucked up too. And he has said hurtful things to Crowley. For eg. he didn't have to say, "We're not friends and you and I are on the opposite sides," to Crowley. I know he was trying to protect Adam Young at first, but still.

Aziraphale is quite stuck in his own prejudices. He wants to be with Crowley but still feels compelled to be loyal to his own side - even when the other angels have been nothing but arses to him the whole time.

Crowley is more open-minded in that sense. He's got greater vision and clarity about what he wants and the things that matter to him - he's been pretty much upfront about wanting to be with Aziraphale and ditch this nonsense about the good side and the bad.

I guess that was the whole point they were trying to make in this show.

2.) Aziraphale and Crowley are head over heels in love. I know, old news, but let me as a new fan just gush about it for a second.

Ever since they meet for the first time - when Adam and Eve are escorted to Earth - their chemistry is off the charts and it looks like they're perfect for each other.

Since Episode 2, it's clear that they have feelings for each other but they don't talk about it.

I love how even with his prejudices, Aziraphale is totally with Crowley when they want the Antichrist to be a completely normal child. Aziraphale wants the same things as Crowley but doesn't want to say it out loud.

The scenes where Aziraphale dresses up as a gardener and Crowley shows up as a nanny are hilarious. That too with the wrong child because of that mix-up eleven years ago!

This is my favourite scene:

It's ... nothing needs to be said. He's practically glowing with his love for the Demon.

Their banter, and the way Crowley playfully teases him sometimes - it's absolutely perfect. I love them.

3.) Coming back to my point about the other angels, can I just say I hate Gabriel? Fuck that guy.

He's the most despicable character of this show. I don't know if he gets better or worse in the next season, but for now, fuck him.

I guess I hate anyone who bullies and is condescending to Aziraphale lol.

I hate him even more than Hastur. Hastur is at least supposed to be cruel because he's a proper demon. People like Gabriel - who're supposed to be good but are actually assholes - can fuck off.

4.) I don't know if I missed it when it was being explained, but why is Crowley stuck in traffic in E5?

I know there's a huge demon prayer ring of fire set up by Adam Young but Crowley is a demon, and demons aren't bound by Physics, or so the God narrator told us. Couldn't he go to Tadfield any other way?

Also, why did Hastur burn to death in that episode? I thought the only thing that kills a demon is Holy Water.

Maybe I was being dumb when I watched the show lol. Would appreciate it if someone clarified this point for me in the notes.

5.) Whoever did the voice acting of God did a fantastic job. She had a lot of sarcasm in her voice at many points and I loved that.

Also, seeing Michael Mckean as Witchfinder was such a pleasant surprise! I'm a huge Better Call Saul fan.

6.) I loved the humour of this show. These two scenes were the funniest:

7.) Crowley's walk was my absolute favourite thing:

That's all for now. See you again once I'm done with Season 2.

[gaylactic-fire]

Suddenly tempted to rewatch all of Race To The Edge...

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Bahrain Grand Prix - Jenson Button

[creatorping]

Finally got to watch Sick Day/Truth Hurts EP, I always thought I was missing a full ep back then but turns out they’re combined.

The idea of the characters being able to get sick makes them more human, more vulnerable. Funny that Kim still tries to be polite telling Shego that she’s about to sneeze. Both villains and heroes are stopped by bad bacteria so it seems.

Ron making his way to steal back Ray X on his own? What a breeze. But also Duff stealing it also???? Concerned about Kim’s house security.

Tim and Jim helping was a pleasant surprise, wish they would be part of the saving adventures a little more in episodes

Now the truth hurts episode… that was a little hard to watch after October 31st ep and Blush (I can’t even watch that ep fully)

Shego’s suit having extra features is pretty interesting. Those blades are major melee weapon. What else can she have? Her and Kim showed off inhuman strength for fighting on ice like that

While it was funny to see Kim insulted the three bosses, her acting fed up by the men and her sass was a little surprisingly, maybe a little out of character? Not sure, she seems like another shego but trying so hard to cover it up. Since Kim has been always the cheerful girl who does her best to help everyone, the truthful annoyance was a little sudden but also add some depth to her character

Lastly, I love that the chairman was the actual boss with the highest status. Seeing those 3 men nervously agreeing with her about Kim’s Dad’s promo is satisfying to watch.

[ninjago-dragon-reviews]

Lightning Dragon Battle (Whisp)

Number: 2521

Year Released: 2011

SPECS 

Head: Rubber Head mold w/ ball shooter

Body:  Dual ratchet jointed hip || Built in saddle on neck

Tail: 1x1 rigid clip tail

Wings: Foldable blade pieces w/ duel ratchet joints

Feet: One Bionicle claw piece

Advancement?: Yes

If yes: Duel ratchet on both hip and wings. A moveable neck

REVIEW

Poseability: 9.5/10

Ratchet joints on the back and hip allow for pretty much anything imaginable.

Ratchet joints on the base of wings give the wings potential for being secondary arms or legs depending on what you need them for. They are very versatile in distributing the weight wherever needed

Stubby legs, but the wings make up for it

Base of the neck cannot go up and down, only left and right. This is further blocked by the chains

Durability: 6/10

Rudimentary body is stable and easily fixable

Details on the wings are not sturdy and they constantly flick off, leaving it annoying to handle. The cones haunt this entire generation of dragons and they are all annoying to deal with.

Same goes with the barrels, flags, and spears. The extra parts thrown on the dragon don't add to the design, but take away from the durability.

Playability: 7/10

Lots of poses, as previously established.

Ball shooter head for endless fun

The double hips make it hard to hold at times, as they constantly click and shift. This could be due to age however.

Not too fun to fly around (ground dragon)

Decent personality with limitless poseability and a detailed face print

Displayability: 7/10

Gets special treatment as it’s a limited edition collectors item

Will look cool on shelves because of that alone

Soft blue hue, but is ruined by the boring dark gray underbody. Rudimentary build and sheer amount of different blues can leave it looking a tad ugly for some.

Provides a wealth of poses both longways and upways, so it’s helpful for sticking in displays wherever there is free space.

Look/Design: 6/10

Mellow gray and blacks lessen the colour scheme

Splashes of yellow attempt to make the design pop, but there are too many dull colours to even it out so it ends up fading to the background. Very dull overall. It needs more yellow and white.

Very obviously lego and simple body builds. It doesn't pass as an organic look or structure.

Legs are extremely simple and mundane

Great head mold

OVERALL SCORE

7/10

[dotsunflowers]

did my regional biases jump out while watching the first ep of drag race germany? perhaps

[fine-nephrit]

🥏 Where to find good XF fanfics

👽 On Tumblr

@lilydalexf has an encyclopedic knowledge of fics and continues to be an invaluable resource. You'll find a boatload of themed fic lists, individual rec posts and helpful answers to anon asks.

@txf-fic-chicks-blog seven years of almost daily recs, with well-written blurbs and a lot of fun, run by @kateyes224 and @piecesofscully. Look out for their themed days: "Casefile Monday", "Tumblr Tuesday", "Editor's Pick Wednesday", "Post-Ep/Missing Scene Thursday", "Novel Length Friday", "Smut Sunday", and the very cool "Because You Watched"

@msrlibrary a well-tagged library of MSR fics; each entry includes a short excerpt and a nicely chosen image from the show.

@201daysofxfiles a rewatch blog by fandom veteran @wendelah. Each episode in season 1-7 is paired with its own fic rec post.

@enigmaticxbee an aesthetically pleasing and neatly organized rewatch blog that is packed with great content, including excellent fic rec lists categorized by season, story type, trope, and more. Each episode guide sometimes features related fic recs.

@thatfragilecapricorn30 posts one fic rec every Friday, accompanied by a nice writeup.

@randomfoggytiger curates many fic rec lists sorted by often fun and creative categories.

@cecilysass has a google doc titled "fics I love", which is a fantastic fic list categorized by story type, complete with thoughtful blurbs. She's also shared two episode-related fic rec lists on Tumblr: here and here.

@pookie-mulder writes a monthly fic journal with good recs.

**self-promo plug** I post fic recs on my Tumblr blog @fine-nephrit under #nephrit's fic rec. Plus, I reblog others' fic recs that I come across!

👽 Rec Communities

XF Book Club: the best thing ever, an absolute gem that deserves to be preserved for posterity. During its run, 270 fics were recced and discussed in depth here. The community's intelligent and insightful comments on this blog are sometimes even more enjoyable to read than the fics themselves.

The Fic Filter (xf tag): well-curated selections with short blurbs.

Multifandom Het Recs (xf tag): a major rec site's xf section that offers nice "why this must be read" writeups. @het-reccers

Crack Van (xf tag): another major rec site with a big xf section, featuring endless recs and blurbs

Fancake (xf tag): another major rec community's xf section boasting an extensive thematic tagging system

👽 Personal Blogs

Emily Shore aka Naraht: meta essays, fanvid recs, fic recs—great stuff aplenty

Bad for the Fish aka Scarlet Baldy: fantastic fic list paired with highly enjoyable reviews and analyses of the fics she's read. @badforthefish

Ramblings of a Mind Untamed: reviews of a dozen or so classic fics

xxSKSxx XF Fanfic Recs: still active in 2024! @xxsksxxx

X-Libris: more of a fic library, this is the best place to download nicely-formatted ebooks of pre-AO3 oldies. What I love most is the incredibly detailed and extensive tagging system.

👽 Individual Rec Lists with good writeup

Character Manifesto - Dana Scully: a character analysis and 10 Scully-centric fic recs, categorized by "best of .." selections. Amazing format and choices!

Character Manifesto - Fox Mulder: same format as above for Spooky

bachlava's awesome fic rec essays, covering classic fics and slash fics

ShipRecced blog's classic MSR fics and newer MSR fics recs

luminary's 16-fic rec post

RivkaT recs fics and writers @rivkat

Anna Otto's favorite stories

Syntax6's rec list on her site, great rec list on Tumblr and FTF rec list @syntax6

👽 90s Old School Rec Sites

The Basement Office - Musea: a treasure trove of extensive fic lists with lovely written blurbs, recced by a group of talented writers from back in the day

The Other Side - Fanfic Recs from Beyond the Grave: a large collection of 'scary' or 'spooky' story recs with nice blurbs. Beautiful web design.

the Rookery - Favorite Authors: nice commentary on a list of classic fic writers

X-Files Fanfiction 101: an intro guide to fic categories and what to read for each

The Primal Screamers: a fun site run by a mailing list that hosts fic recs with blurbs, and a 'Coffee Talk' section full of delightful discussions of canon

Idealists Haven - Elemental Fanfic Archive: an archive with rec blurbs

Chronicle X: a large, well-organized archive with blurbs, plus a 'Can We Talk' discussion section of novel-length fics, plus a total of 46 author interviews. Simply incredible!

👽 Special Mention

The X-Files Lost and Found: a fic finder message board that is miraculously still very active today—How wonderful! Its FAQ page hosts a huge collection of well-categorized themed fic lists (not recs), including "Classics (or, Your Fanfic Education is Not Complete Until You've Read ...)".

Where do you find your next read? What did I miss? Reblog and share your favorites!

[artist-ellen]

Young Rhaenyra

It's happening! At least a year after Season 1 is relevant I'm finally starting the House of the Dragon series. Like before I'm probably going to just do the ladies, men's fashion in the show has it's weird moments but it isn't my field of interest/expertise so I'll burn out pretty fast if I have to draw that many pants.

We're starting from the beginning with Rhaenyra's yellow dress. The idea of the dress is fine... but the choice of fabric and finishings really undercut her status and character. Supposedly there was a fabric shortage when the show was starting which affected the costuming decisions but I am going to have opinions on how the final product looks. It's understandable for example if a student ran into technical difficulties, but it doesn't mean a lower quality end result wouldn't affect their grade. Anyway there are a LOT of costumes in the series that bewilder me. Especially with the amount of costumes that resemble Spirit Halloween purchases, the fabric often looks too thin or cheap, the appliqués are sometimes painful... and the world-building through clothing makes no sense (watch Sumalee Eaton on clock app for a professional's review with more detail).

Speaking of world building one of the reasons I put this design challenge off for so long was that in my first ASOIAF redesigns I referenced clothing and fashion across different time periods. So when HotD is set ~200 years before ASOIAF... the answer of when/what to base things off of gets real complicated. While keeping up with the reactions to HotD as it aired I came across Sumalee Eaton’s review of the costumes and they recommended that the show lean into its Byzantine inspiration. Every once in the a while the show will have a costume that references a sort of kokoshnik or mantle...but then sabotages itself with either unlined fabric or some haute couture thing.

This is getting too ramble-y, sorry. This is her yellow dress if it leaned into Byzantine fashion, if it reveled in the wealth of the Targaryens with gems and jewelry that are worn with their everyday wear. It's casual, the shape feels appropriately young and unserious but royal all the same. (And before anyone worries this is not an April fools joke, I really am doing a Season 1 redesign series)

I am the artist! Do not post without permission & credit! Thank you! Come visit me over on: instagram, tiktok or check out my coloring book available now \ („• ֊ •„) /

https://linktr.ee/ellen.artistic

[voltronisanobsession]

A small teen wolf thought I had

I’m really missing season 1 Stiles, so let’s imagine him having a crush on reader😍

We all know how Stiles had an enormous crush on Lydia, it was absolutely devastating tbh. Like this dude was lowkey devoted to her💀💀

So what if a new student (reader) moved into town and it’s love at first sight for him. He’d bump into you after rambling to Scott about whatever was on his mind and knocks your binder and books to the ground.

Helping you pick up your stuff, right when he’s giving you your notebook, he’d look up and just. Stare. Cuz ZOOWEEMAMA YOURE ABSOLUTELY STUNNING IN HIS EYES

You’re busy thanking him and apologizing for the collision, waiting for him to let go of the notebook, voice slowly fading out when you notice him just staring at you with his mouth slightly open.

“Thanks for helping me. Can I have my book?”

“Uh huh.”

“…”

“…”

“Stiles, you know you have to let go of the notebook.” Scott is trying his best not to slam his head in a locker when his friend still doesn’t let go LMAO

Your chuckle snaps him out of whatever daze he was in, causing him to blush and apologize awkwardly. You’d smile at him and in good nature, joke about it and walk away, leaving him in awe.

Most people would normally give him the stink eye, but seeing how you joked about it made his heart flutter a bit.

Everything is HISTORY after that. If you have any classes with Stiles, you already KNOW he’s gonna try and sit as close to you as possible. Teacher assigns partner or group projects? He’s springing out of his seat and going to you first. You both have the same lunch period? He’s inviting you to sit with him and his friends. You’re having trouble with a certain class? Man, he’s already offering to help you after school, you’ll nail that test with flying colors!

You just get him! You like his sarcasm and MIRACULOUSLY understand his random references from movies and video games! With all the time you guys spend together, his crush on you grows more and more.

You appreciate how Stiles is so interested in the things you like and dislike. You love how he asks why you enjoy a certain movie despite the terrible reviews it got. Why you dislike an artist he just began listening to. You both love the same things, but have different opinions on everything, every conversation flows so naturally with him that you can’t help but develop a crush on him too.

You’ve never met anyone as eccentric and energetic as him, he never fails to bring a smile to your face teehee

Stiles is the type to remember every little, seemingly insignificant, thing about his crush. When your birthday rolls around, this dude has so many gifts ready😭 a warm feeling fills you when you open one gift to see it’s an item you’ve mentioned in a passing convo yall had MONTHS ago

He’s so sweet and kind with you too like don’t get me started. Stiles just enjoys being around you and seeing you happy makes him happy. SEASON 1 STILES IS THE DEFINITION OF PUPPY LOVE LIKE UGGHH

Takes you out on late night drives, barges into your room through the window with any takeout food you’ve been craving. Hed even take you out on a mini ‘date’ to the local arcade!!! his dad sees how much you mean to his son and is super happy that Stiles is happy. Loves when you come over to study with him, he’s always telling you stories about when stiles was younger (he would definitely cover your ears with his hands and speak loudly over his dad LMAO)

I’m telling y’all, stiles having a crush on you is the cutest thing ever, especially if you reciprocate his feelings!!!When you guys get together, cuz it’s not a matter of if with his friends, you’re the ultimate duo.

He’d confess his feelings for you in the most cheesiest way ever, probably during or after a school dance cuz why not.

UGH I NEED TO WRITE MORE STILES STUFF I LIVE HIM SM‼️ HE WAS NEVER THE SAME AFTER SEASON 3😭😭😭

[mysterialistic]

Review/Ramble on Yingdu and Overall Thoughts

Okay, first of all, I think the fandom needs to chill a bit, especially on Twitter/X, because some people are overdramatizing the criticism from others. Criticizing a piece of media doesn’t mean you hate it, nor does it mean it’s bad—it just means it didn’t fully meet your expectations, and you have a different opinion. It’s as simple as that. Of course, I believe criticism should always come from an objective standpoint, not just for the sake of complaining.

Having said, let’s start rambling!

Yingdu had an amazing start. Those first few minutes, transitioning from the basketball game straight into the scene of Cheng Xiaoshi’s death, were so well done. Overall, the first episode was fantastic—the perfect mix of drama and tension. It answered some of our lingering questions before bringing us back to the Season 1 format, where they tackled individual cases, only for it to all build up to the arc’s main conflict. I won’t go into every single episode since that would make this way too long, but I had to highlight episode 1 because it was my favorite.

There were several aspects of these episodes that I really enjoyed. Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang’s bond was portrayed so well—every little moment between them, every dialogue exchange—it perfectly showed why these two are so willing to risk their lives for each other. I looked forward to seeing their interactions every week, and I was never disappointed.

Xia Fei was also a great addition, and I’m glad they didn’t kill off his character like many people theorized, because he has so much potential. I really enjoyed his complexity—he’s a spy, but he has his own morals and values. He dislikes Liu Xiao, yet he has a close bond with Vein despite his odd personality. He’s clearly intelligent, and I think that will really shine in Season 3. He already seems to suspect something, and I have no doubt he’ll get to the bottom of it. Right now, he’s angry and confused about what happened to Vein, convinced that someone killed him. But how will he react if (or when) he finds out that Vein was the one who initially killed Cheng Xiaoshi—one of his other friends, and probably the only truly innocent one? And don’t even get me started on how he’ll react when he finds out that Lu Guang tried to kill Vein or that Vein is still alive. I’m excited to see where this goes.

That said, I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see much of Vein and Liu Xiao. We mostly just saw what we already knew—two shady guys with their own agenda, pretending to be friendly. As an introduction, it was fine, but considering how much attention the promotional material gave them, I really thought we’d see more. Still, I don’t have a huge issue with it since they’ll obviously play a bigger role in Season 3. Liu Xiao, Vein, Li Tianchen, and possibly Xia Fei—a group of unstable individuals as antagonists… well, good luck, Lu Guang!

Now, something that does bother me about Yingdu is the inconsistencies between its plot and what we’ve seen in Seasons 1 and 2. For me, this was the laziest part of the writing, because no, Link Click isn’t flawless. In fact, no piece of media is. But in Link Click’s case, some of the flaws were painfully obvious. With every episode that aired, I kept thinking, “okay, this has to be an alternate timeline”, because so many little details just didn’t fit with the main storyline. The most obvious one is how Cheng Xiaoshi awakened his powers—he did it on his own, yet in Season 1, it was shown that he didn’t know he could do this. That makes absolutely no sense unless he has selective amnesia, which is definitely not the case lol. As for the inconsistencies with his parents, that could at least be explained by the promise he made to his mother to “not get involved any further.” He clearly remembers that promise and is likely just keeping everything he learned a secret.

Speaking of parents… Damn, Cheng Xiaoshi’s parents are awful lmao. I hated how his father acted like he was the victim, justifying his actions with, “yes, I abandoned my child, but now I take care of other children to make up for my mistakes.” That’s just… bad parenting. I actually made a whole analysis about it in another post. And then there’s Cheng Xiaoshi’s mother. The way she dismissed her son’s feelings and abandonment issues with a casual “oh yeah, it was wrong of me not to say goodbye, but who cares? That’s in the past” felt so off. The entire scene with her was weird—the humor felt misplaced. I was expecting something more emotional, more dramatic—anything but this. But based on what I’ve seen, almost no one liked her, so if the creators were hoping we’d find her eccentricity endearing, this introduction definitely wasn’t the best. Since Season 1, we’ve been repeatedly shown how deeply this abandonment affected Cheng Xiaoshi, and this is the reunion we got? It was… underwhelming.

Now, something I really, really loved was how they handled Lu Guang in this arc. From start to finish, it was just so good—his reaction when he first saw Cheng Xiaoshi again, his nightmares and PTSD, the way he carefully planned everything to manipulate events and create change. But my absolute favorite part? How morally gray he is. He planned and actually succeeded in killing Vein, eliminating the threat (though he’s definitely going to freak out when he finds out Vein is still alive). That cold smile? The scene where his hands moved like he was pulling the strings of a puppet? The way he said, “I hope we’ll never see each other again”? PERFECT. I’ve always said I wanted Lu Guang’s motivations and actions to not be entirely good. He comes across as someone selfish, willing to sacrifice others if it means protecting the people he loves—because he has the power and the knowledge to do it, and he wants his happy ending. Such a good character, I swear.

Of course, I wasn’t expecting every single question to be answered in Yingdu—that would be ridiculous lol. But I’m satisfied that the plot is finally moving forward. They gave us a piece of the puzzle—Cheng Xiaoshi’s parents, the origin of his powers, the antagonists’ apparent goal (some sort of notebook?), and hints at what we can expect in Season 3. That said, my biggest fear is that Link Click will lose its essence—the powerful message from Season 1 about how they shouldn’t intervene in the natural flow of time, no matter how painful it is, because the past and future should be left alone. Based on what Lu Guang said about the butterfly effect, we can argue that time itself is like another character—a force that, no matter how much they try to change things, always corrects itself somehow, some way. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what kind of ending I want for Link Click, but right now, I just hope it makes sense, that it isn’t forced, and that it unfolds naturally.

And… that’s all I have to say for now.

[myfairstarlight]

To Have and to Hold - Penelope and Colin's journey to self-love

Companion piece - or one might say part 2 - of An Ode to Friends to Lovers.

Goddammit this was not supposed to be or take this long.

Ahum. Some time has passed, and after sorting through all my thoughts and feelings, here it finally is, my endless ramblings about two friends in love, but not only.

If anyone asks, no I did not take this long to write this post because of the fact that when taking screenshots to illustrate some parts of this analysis I ended up rewatching whole episodes instead.

So, dearest gentle readers, here's my Bridgerton s3 review, with focus on part 2, but looking at the season as a whole too; the highlights, the let downs, and polin's full love story, let's dive in, shall we?

The one thing I really liked about s3, something the other seasons could not do, is how so much is structured around parallels and callbacks to previous seasons, in the narration and in the visuals, for both Penelope and Colin. It is the advantage of having a main couple who's been here from the start, and with them, many other characters get weaved into their story, more particularly in part 2. I think that's why I personally did not mind the fact we did not get flashback sequences, unlike previous seasons (although I would have loved to see baby Colin and Penelope meeting... perhaps with Edmund and Violet watching them play and noting how they were childhood friends as well...) And what can I say? I'm a sucker for parallels as someone who loves to look at the details and perhaps overthink things.

So before we tackle Penelope and Colin individually and as a pair, let's talk about:

Eloise's love for Penelope

Eloise ends up being the catalyst for this second part, when she was mostly an observer in part 1. In many ways, she parallels Colin. Childhood friends with Penelope, betrayed by the Whistledown reveal, and yet still caring and protecting Penelope in her own way, which also paralleled Colin. And because I can, here's a small list:

Eloise distracting Cressida so she does not bully Penelope (s3e1) / Colin refusing a dance with Cressida to dance with Pen instead (s1e1)

Eloise running after her at the Four Seasons ball after accidentally revealing her and Colin's secret / Colin running after Penelope at the ball in s3e1

Colin visiting Penelope to apologise for his comment last season and offering the lessons to help her find a husband / Eloise visiting her to apologise and wish her the best in her endeavour to find a husband

Colin leaving to travel and find himself at the end of previous seasons but staying now / Eloise now travelling to Scotland to find herself

Now that we have the whole season, you can tell that in part 1, she foreshadowed how Colin would react in part 2, he just goes through her whole journey in a lot less time. See the direct parallel at the beginning of e5 as Eloise yells at Penelope and storms out, then Colin swoops in and comforts her, and then the end of e7, where Colin is the one upset with Penelope and after he storms out, Eloise is there, hugging her best friend and telling her everything will be alright.

When one is absent, the other is there for Penelope, because despite everything they love her and they know that through the years, Penelope has loved and supported them as well, even if she was still hiding this big part of her. Penelope makes Eloise feel listened to, and makes Colin feel seen. She was their safe space as much as they were hers.

Eloise is also the very reason Colin learning about Whistledown goes so wrong. She is the one pressuring Penelope to tell him, and also the one who eventually tells her to never tell him the truth when Cressida comes forward and claims to be Whistledown. Yes, Penelope is definitely still at fault as well for taking so long to tell him, but to her credit she did intend on telling him after publishing one last column discrediting Cressida, before being convinced to give it up by Eloise. And then when Cressida manages to publish something, and Eloise is terrified about what it means considering she just broke off their friendship, it is to protect Eloise from her ire that Penelope takes her quill again and sneaks out to publish, which leads to Colin finding out.

Then comes her scene with Colin as he asks his sister how long she's known, where all the parallels come through.

"Have you already forgiven her?"

"I want to. Do you think you can?"

Colin goes on to say Eloise is lucky that she's never been in love, implying that his love for Penelope makes it that much harder to forgive. However, he fails to understand that Eloise is in love as well, perhaps not in the romantic sense, but she is, or she would not have been this distraught for a year over her falling out with Penelope, and yet always somewhat keeping an eye on her. And just like how eventually, as push comes to shove, she finds her way back to Penelope, Colin will do much the same as a looming threat comes their way.

She and Colin are also similar in their insecurity regarding Penelope's love for them, and in turn Penelope spends a good length of the season reassuring them. She constantly tells Colin she loves him, especially after the reveal so he knows that this part of her was never deceiving. She reassures Eloise that their friendship is just as important as her love for Colin and she doesn't want to lose either of them.

The fascinating thing for me about Eloise when taking into account Polin, is that in part 1 they needed her to be away so Colin and Penelope could spend more time together uninterrupted, leading to Colin realising his feelings. This also applies to season 2 actually! While Eloise was in the hunt for LW and distracted by Theo, that's what allowed Colin and Penelope to have a full proper conversation about their purpose, and I'd argue that the moment Penelope said "my purpose shall set me free", something started to shift in their relationship.

In part 2, without Eloise, I wonder if they would have even been able to come together without any more secret between them, if she hadn't been the one to push Penelope to tell the truth, and then the one to support her while Colin was processing his own feelings.

Penelope's ambitions and womanhood

Penelope's journey to self-confidence continues in part 2, this time in regards to Whistledown as she finally accepts her as a part of her, rather than a mask to hide behind. Enters Genevieve Delacroix, the only character in this show who knows what it means to be a woman with a business. It is no coincidence her scene in e6 comes after Portia's talk of "ladies do not have dreams" and after Eloise convinced Penelope to give up Whistledown, because it is just gossip. She directly opposes them.

In part 1, she helped Penelope be more confident by providing her with a new wardrobe that fits her better, and in part 2, Gen is the very reason Penelope learns to be proud of Whistledown, own up to the mistakes, and yet fully claim her as her.

And then, the final nail in the coffin to me: Cressida, in a red "revenge" dress, shows up at the Mondrich ball, and wields the Whistledown name as Confident by Demi Lovato plays in the background. Cressida stands tall and proud despite the whispers, and I think a part of Penelope truly broke then. If Cressida could exhume such confidence for a body of work which is not even hers, then why can't Penelope be proud of what she's accomplished? This past week has been killing her, she admits it to Gen the eve of her wedding, Colin was a great distraction but giving up Whistledown, putting down her quill, it truly hurt her, and a part of her cannot imagine giving it up again. And so Gen gives her the very advice she needed to hear.

"There is no such thing as true love without embracing your true self."

And look at the contrast before vs after her talk with Gen:

Colin, of course, shares Eloise's point of view, Penelope should just give it up, and to be fair, he's more scared for her safety, since he caught her alone in the street at night, and then the Queen just threatened the family again. But Penelope cannot stand for that anymore, she is tired of running and hiding. That is Penelope having the confidence to truly be herself. By the end of e7, she's fully bloomed into the woman she's always been behind her quill. The irony being that Colin was also the one who helped her embrace that in part 1, as he helped her bring out that part of her that he's always been privileged to.

And in e8, we see her take the reins. Do what must be done to protect the ones she cares about.

So let's talk about Portia now, because she may not have a business per se, but she had to essentially become "the man of the house" to keep her daughters safe and the fortune they have intact. I've seen people say her redemption came out of nowhere but I concur that in part 1, as Penelope's confidence starts to grow and she stands up to her family, Portia is already trying to be a better, supportive mother, and in turn, Prudence and Philippa follow her lead. Portia is a practical woman, not a sentimental one, at least she doesn't let herself be, that we have seen since the beginning of the show, that's why she was reprimanding Penelope for being reckless with her reputation by asking for Colin's help, and then was pushing for the match with Debling, because he was a lord, who could offer stability, and who would be away most of the time, leaving the managing of his estate to his wife, to Portia that is (or rather, was) the ideal life a woman can achieve.

I loved that they had Portia learn about Whistledown before the public reveal, because then she has to truly face the fact that she has overlooked Penelope all this time, the daughter who is most like her, and Portia is also the only one who points out that Penelope has written badly about herself. It forces Penelope to face the fact that in many ways, she truly is her mother's daughter as well.

Portia ends up being the driving force behind Penelope's decision to reveal herself as well, I believe. Because we joke about how Penelope hid so much money in the floor boards while her family was going broke but mind you, she had no idea they were having money problems, because Portia tried to hide it to not worry them, the same way Penelope has kept her Whistledown secret in the misguided belief that it was for the better, that she could handle the weight of it all on her own. By revealing herself to the Queen, she could free Colin from her mess, get away from Cressida's blackmail and, if the Queen doesn't behead her, she can save her family's title thanks to her writing and money.

Portia's and Penelope's mending relationship was the highlight of the season for me, the true redemption I wanted to see and am glad I got. And I want to point out a little sweet moment in the last episode:

After the Whistledown reveal, as Portia comes over to praise her daughter, she notices Colin looking in their direction. I personally believe Penelope told her about the annulment, and this is her way to support her before she sends her off to have that conversation with Colin. Portia, who's never been the affectionate mother before, gently caresses her cheek and calls her "My girl", because no matter the outcome she will always remain her little girl.

The beautiful thing about Penelope's ambitions is that they were driven by the women in her life, that's one strength of this season to me. She was inspired by Eloise's strong opinions she so readily shared, Portia's sometimes ruthless ways in the way she protects her family and herself, and Genevieve's smart business endeavours and passion. And so she cannot, won't give that up for a society who is so unfair to women, ironically because the Queen herself is so harsh on debutantes. And isn't it poetic cinema that she ends up revealing herself, in her own terms, during the very ball she fully funded? And after that, it is Philippa, her family she mended things with, who saves her from embarrassment by releasing the butterflies? And then the very same Philippa who during the epilogue, happily declares that her daughter can grow into a successful writer who might not need a husband, just like her little sister?

Side note again but it is also interesting that in contrast we had the Mondrich subplot, wherein Will has to let go of his bar to be accepted in high society (and he's clearly not happy about it), because the London elites do not work, yet here Penelope is, owning a business approved by the Queen.

Penelope's ambitions, in turn, inspire others. Portia, into allowing herself to be soft, Prudence to be more honest (the pregnancy hormones probably helped too), Philippa to readily consider other paths in life, and Eloise into finally doing something and discover a little bit of the world.

And she inspires another Bridgerton as well.

Penelope's bravery and Colin's envy

The thing about Penelope and Colin, and that has been said before, is that their roles are reversed. In romance shows such as these, the man is usually the one with a hard exterior, with secrets he wishes to keep to himself while the woman is the one who encourages him to open up by loving him. That is literally s1 with Simon and Daphne. And even in some ways, it is also Anthony and Kate, the difference being that Kate was not trying to get Anthony to soften up, she was directly confronting him so he fixes his shit himself (I still have beef with Anthony, good for him for becoming a My Wife guy in s3 but man, the journey there was tough).

Anyway. With Penelope and Colin? Penelope is the one with the secrets, who wishes, at first, for a practical match so she may gain her freedom. Colin is the soft-hearted and romantic one, who although offers the lessons, keeps asking her if she likes any of the suitors she talks to. And then, it shifts again. Not in the literal sense, Colin has no secret after he's dropped his rake façade, but he does become a bit colder after the Whistledown reveal, while Penelope becomes the one reassuring him she loves him, and emphasising their emotional bond after she's gained the confidence to do so and accepted that a love match was still in the cards for her. But now, they must overcome Whistledown, the last obstacle she's been hiding behind.

"Well, if she was hiding behind Whistledown, how come Colin calls her brave even before the reveal?"

Well, I'm glad you asked, imaginary person in my head! Let's dial back a bit again.

I am a firm believer that Colin's envy towards Penelope (and him realising his romantic feelings) actually started back in s2, during their talk about purpose. She was the one leading the conversation then, who knew what her purpose would be, and to him, that is bravery, being true to oneself and knowing your place. And we see how in s3 part 1, Colin resorts to adopting a whole new persona, something Penelope does not do, even after changing her entire wardrobe and facing the Ton's eyes, she remains herself (and she is capable of acting! She effortlessly disguises herself as a maid and fakes an accent when delivering the Whistledown papers), and I think Colin noticed that. She has a new dress, and her hair looks different, but she's still Pen, meanwhile he, on the other hand, is pretending to be someone else. And when the scandal about the lessons came out, Penelope still showed her face when people were still preoccupied by the scandal. Debling says it best:

"Well done."

"For being a fool?"

"For stepping away from the herd, even though you risked becoming a target."

Penelope's bravery and honesty are the very reason Debling is interested in her, rather than in Cressida; she knows who she is, and what she likes (whereas Cressida adapts). Sure, he was not looking for a love match, but he was looking for authenticity, which Penelope always had. Because she's terrible at hiding her identity, actually. Eloise guesses it's her after listening to her once! Penelope has never hidden how much she likes gossip. In s2e1 she admits it outright that being a wallflower allows her to hear everything.

Colin rereads her letters and realises, wait, she really is Whistledown, she writes the same way, and although he had mixed feelings about Whistledown, he described her as clever, a quality he's always associated with Penelope as well. She says shit like "it would have been suspicious if she hadn't written about this scandal"... like that girl is not good at hiding herself actually, has never been, it's just that no one really paid her any notice and she was not put into the spotlight until now. I think a part of her unconsciously wanted them to connect the dots because the loneliness was getting to her but she was still scared to own up to it, so she continued to lie.

She's always been true to herself to some degree though, which is its own form of bravery, but she's never had the courage to ask for what she wanted before Colin helped her build her confidence. Colin, on the other hand, may be dense and oblivious, but when he wants something, he is not shy about it, and can even be a bit too impulsive. He's the one who always seeks her out and always tries to protect her and make her happy.

In part 2, as Penelope truly embraces all of herself, just like Colin is learning to be more vulnerable and let go of his ego, the dynamic between them shifts. He's the man, but she got the power.

It started when she gathered the courage to ask for that first kiss, which changed everything, and it solidified when she is the one who seeks Colin at their wedding breakfast. In that instant, he's the wallflower, and she's the one pulling him into the centre and dance in broad daylight.

And this translates in the bedroom too as she goes from following his lead to riding his d-

Ahum, who said that? Anyway, topic at hand. As the dynamic shifts, as Penelope learns to truly be herself and Colin learns the truth, that is when his envy and lack of direction in his own life become too much, and he cannot avoid it anymore. Because he thought he had found his purpose at last, be Penelope's husband, take care of her, provide for her, be the head of their family. But now he learns she's been living a dangerous double life this whole time, that she "mocked" him at the beginning of the season, and she might not even need him to protect her as much as he thought she did because she has money and a prolific career despite being a young lady with minimal agency.

And he had already been struggling before the reveal. In all of part 1, he was grappling with his sense of self, realising that pretending was not worth it if he felt empty and if it meant losing Penelope in the process as well. And in part 2, we already saw him struggling with his writing, only able to write again after Penelope tells him she's loved him for years. And then, he refuses Penelope's help to edit his journals into a book because he wants to prove to himself and to her that he could do it on his own. That he is worthy of her love.

Also note that at that point, Penelope had given up on Whistledown, and wanted to live through him by editing for him as well. Just before, we had the scene where she burned her old Whistledown issues at the same time as Colin was writing, suddenly overcome with inspiration (in this regard, I like that the show ends up allowing Penelope to keep the column and still help Colin with his book, rather than her giving up LW like in the book, where she lives vicariously through him. I know she eventually becomes a romance author in the books, and I hope she also reaches that point in the show, but it is nice she does not have to give up her pen first, you know?)

So when Colin learns she's been a published writer this whole time while he was struggling to find a purpose? Penelope started Whistledown in her first year out after all, at the exact same time, Colin wanted to prove to his family that he can be taken seriously, leading to his disastrous betrothal that season. He had needed to travel to find himself, and even then, it didn't give him the answers he was seeking, and no one was taking his newfound experiences seriously, except Penelope. He's a third son, neither the Viscount, neither the spare, so he had nothing to himself. But Penelope is much in the same situation, a third daughter, from a family less fortunate that his, and yet she has accomplished more than he has. He was already so insecure about his love being unrequited but now that he knows she does not even need to rely on him for financial stability and security? Let's dive more into that, shall we?

Colin's self-worth and ambitions

I've seen a lot of people lament the fact that Colin does not feel as much of a protagonist as Penelope, and while I agree to some degree, such argument fails to take into account the fact that he is the reason the season exists in the first place, not just on a meta level because he's a Bridgerton, but because every action he takes progresses the story. Colin is the driving force of the narrative, while Penelope is the heart of it because he loves her.

He offers the lessons to make up for his comment last season, leading to Penelope gaining in confidence. He interrupts Debling's imminent proposal and chases Penelope's carriage, leading to the engagement. He confronts Portia, leading to her re-evaluating the way she treats her daughters and the Featheringtons mending their relationship. He confronts Eloise and reminds her how obsessed she used to be with Penelope, leading to the reconciliation between the two. He follows Penelope out of worry and learns about Whistledown. When the blackmail happens, he confronts Cressida, this time things get worse (his infamous impulsiveness biting him in the ass once more), but it is still furthering the narrative, leading to Penelope taking things into her own hands and revealing herself in her own terms.

His actions are loud, however his internal growth is much more subtle and we get less scenes of him alone compared to Penelope. And that, I agree, is a weakness of this season. I mean, he spends barely 1/8 of the season upset at Penelope, when people act like he was for half the season. If you watch from the start instead of just looking at part 2, Polin have a lot more happy and cute scenes than angsty ones. Hell! They have more kisses than saphne and kanthony in their own seasons combined, I bet (I didn't count, truth be told, but since they get together halfway through the season, as opposed to in the later half, and had their first kiss in episode 2, I think it's a safe bet to make) (Edit from Star from the future here: so I admit I was wrong. Simon and Daphne have definitely more kisses because they had so many intimacy scenes upon rewatch. I just forgot about them, my bad (mostly, I tend to block out That Scene too, so). Anthony and Kate, on the other hand, were robbed. It's kinda funny Bridgerton built a reputation to be quite spicy, only for none of the seasons after s1 matching the same level lol). I also do feel like a few flashback scenes of him during his travels, waiting for Penelope's letters but getting none as he starts to act like a rake to compensate for the loneliness, contrasted with the lesson scenes in part 1 where he is carefree and silly with Penelope could have benefited his character. I personally do not think he was treated as a "love interest", he carries the season just as much as Penelope, but his emotional weight is lesser than hers, and that was an issue with the writing and pacing.

So here, I must redirect to my other Colin analysis post, as well as this one comparing book vs show portrayal, and though those were unorganised immediate thoughts after watching the show (and vague memories of the book), I still mostly stand by them and so I can also avoid repeating what I've already written.

Colin's insecurity regarding love is a direct result of s1 and, once again, Marina. The parallels between Marina and Penelope are kinda in your face, especially with Colin dropping the entrapment line.

Side note but between Anthony and Colin trying to get with a family member of their future wives first, I sure hope we won't learn Sophie is related to Lady Tilly Arnold or something because otherwise there's a pattern within the ABC bros.

Another thing is that when Marina's lie was revealed, she admits everything else was a lie as well, including her love for him. He was a means to an end, and there's no reason to pretend anymore. But with Penelope? She still tells him she loves him after the fact, and several times after that. Note that, just like with Marina, he learns of the Big Secret while they're engaged. Just like for Marina, he could just walk away now, Penelope even asks him if he wishes to cry off, but he doesn't.

Colin and emotional intimacy

I already made a post about this, but I will reiterate some points anyhow this time, because I need to make some comparisons with Book!Colin, since I've seen a lot of people be upset that unlike his book counterpart, Show!Colin is not physically affectionate with Penelope while still angry at her. So to address this, let's talk about his journals. It is no coincidence that instead of beautiful descriptions of places he's visited, in the show Penelope reads about his experiences with the "women in Paris" and how empty they make him feel. In the book, Colin is older, he is a rake and very much enjoys ladies' company, but in the show, he's only pretending to be one. It's one change they made I liked, to make him different from Anthony and Benedict (when in the books, all these men sorta blend together if I have to be honest). He's the sweet, sensitive brother, who seeks emotional and physical intimacy. Sure, he has experiences, especially after being mocked for being too green, but they felt like obligations, rather than acts of passion (Benedict) or distractions (Anthony). It is also significant that every time someone asks him about his experiences in part 1, he only ever talks about one contessa and never brings up other women, unlike in his journals where, of course, he goes into more details, knowing no one can judge him there.

And then Penelope reads those words, the depths of his mind and his insecurity, and yet she praises him for his writing, rather than mock him for his feelings of inadequacy. That is when it clicks in Colin's mind, although unconsciously, because he flashes back to that scene when he realises his feelings - Penelope is the only other person he feels comfortable enough with to share such thoughts. That's why their first time is such a contrast with the carriage scene, where it was a moment of passion as they get carried (hah!) away after confessing to each other. He was reeling from realising his feelings and narrowly stopping Penelope's engagement to Debling. There was urgency and then relief. Here, it is slower, more tender, because to Colin, this is it, this is where he can prove to Penelope that this was not a mistake, than he can take care of her, bring her pleasure like she could never imagine. He makes sure to tell Penelope how much he loves her, he asks her consent several times, he makes sure she is comfortable. It's a little awkward, unlike the carriage scene, because this is the real and full deal and he sure does not want to mess it up. After all:

That's why I'm not too mad we did not get a montage with them. Their two major intimate scenes are long sequences with few cuts, emphasised by their proximity and the comfort they feel around each other. They're emotional. They're supposed to make the viewer feel like they're interrupting. And Colin does not want to taint these two experiences, that's why the last intimate scene we get is after they reconcile (though we deserved a longer one). So, to quote myself: Colin does not let his lust take over when he's upset, because Penelope means too much to him. He does not want to lay together only to wake up in a cold bed and still be fighting in the morning. He wants to be hers, body and soul, fully and assuredly, and until he accepts the fact he loves her because of Whistledown and not despite since they are one and the same, then he cannot promise Penelope all of himself either. In his mind, he may be afraid that this emotional intimacy he felt with Penelope when they laid together will be ruined, or just simply gone while he is so tortured by the Whistledown reveal. Everything else is a mess right now but that part of their relationship? It was pure and sincere, and he wants to keep it that way.

And not to dunk on Book!Colin again but that man had anger issues and could be violent, he knew he was hurting her sometimes and did not do shit to stop that. Why would you prefer that over Show!Colin keeping a respectful distance and yet still staying close to Penelope, trying his best to protect her despite it all?

After all, the only time he gives in while they're still fighting is when they argue in the streets and Penelope shouts "I love you" to his face. That is the first time she confesses in the present tense. And for a second, Colin's walls crumble. He's a sensitive man, after all, even when he's upset, he ends up tearing up, so the declaration of love answering his "Then what good am I to you?", a question encompassing all of his insecurities in a few words, well, it's the emotional outburst that makes him almost give in, if they weren't in the middle of the street with carriages passing by. They were also both tipsy in that scene lol.

And while I'm at it, let's link back to my post regarding the entrapment line and the annulment. One thing I fail to mention (there already are so much, to be fair) is that Colin throwing an entrapment accusation can also be interpreted as him giving himself an excuse to remain engaged. The previous episode, he was worried they got carried away in the carriage (and then their future home) and that Penelope was changing her mind. As already mentioned, at that point, just like with Marina he could just walk away. They're only engaged, and no one knows they have been intimate. Sure, it would go against his principles as a gentleman but honestly he already broke them several times when Penelope is involved. And he knows that. He never actually intends to back down, he is determined to marry Penelope, as he said in that carriage this is "a feeling that is like torture, but one I cannot, will not, do not want to give up". But in that one moment, he was hurt and angry and knew what to say to hurt, and did not want to admit that he would have stayed either way because he loves her (and frankly, in this situation, Penelope is in the wrong and she kinda deserves to feel bad about wanting to hide such a thing from him, even if the accusation itself is unfair). So he gives the decision some duty, some responsibility. He's a gentleman, so he must do what's objectively right. Because that is easier than looking into the complexity of his feelings.

And that is marriage to me. Marriage is not a happily ever after. It's a choice, to stay by someone's side through the good and the bad times. And in that moment, he also made his choice, and knew Penelope would be his wife. From then on, they learn to communicate. They were in sync as friends, but as a husband and wife? That is different, even if the foundation is similar, they need to relearn how to navigate life together.

Episode 8 is all about them figuring this out.

Take these scenes for example. First of all, this has been pointed out by many already but: Colin may be mad, but he still stays close to her by sleeping on the settee just outside their bedchamber instead of taking another room. That's dedication.

Right away, Colin establishes a boundary between them and asks for some space, however, he still waits for her to wake up to tell her rather than leave without a word and having the servants inform her. She's visibly upset about it, insisting he should stay so they can talk, but he still leaves. Halfway through the episode, the situation is now reversed, Penelope emerges, already dressed while Colin clearly has not slept all night, she tells him she is leaving and giving him the space he asked for, and it is Colin's turn to be upset and realising that, no, actually he does not really like that distance anymore.

Note that until that point, they both were very confrontational whenever Whistledown was brought up, Penelope on the defensive and Colin on the offensive, they're both third children who were belittled so that is how they respond - Penelope by standing her ground and refusing to budge, and Colin by attacking and asserting himself. But here, Penelope listens to Colin's wants, and lets go a little. She gives him the space he needs, all the while she is also planning how to fix all this mess without lying to or hurting more people. And then later on again, Colin is the one who listens to her needs and her plan. That is the beginning of a healthy marriage as they both let go of their egos, as they both take a step back to listen to the other and realising they no longer have to do things alone, because actually, that distance between them was hurting both of them. Penelope accepts she can rely on others' support and Colin accepts that it is not what he can do that makes him worthy, but simply who he is.

People lament that in the Whistledown public reveal, Colin ended up not contributing much, as opposed to his book counterpart, but that is literally what Penelope asked him to do. She does not need a hero, she needs her Colin. Kind, supportive Colin, who reassured her with a simple smile and a nod on their wedding day, and who did the same when she stepped into the light once more at the Butterfly Ball. He gives her courage, by virtue of being there and loving her. Just like she gives him a purpose by simply loving him as well. The very thing Colin envied, Penelope's bravery? Well, he is one of the reasons it exists in the first place.

In the book, Penelope had no idea Colin was planning to reveal her identity, until the last, like, five minutes. He also told Anthony and Simon behind her back. I love the balcony scene but it always bothered me that Penelope's agency in that decision was taken from her. Therefore I love that they gave it back to her in the show. Just like she said in s1e8, Whistledown cannot be unmasked but if one day she shall be, then it would be in her own terms.

(I also want to say though that despite my criticisms earlier, Book!Polin remain one of my favourite dynamics in the books because despite it all, they're one of the healthiest couples. They work together as a team, and it helps Colin learned about LW before he proposed. They discuss Cressida's blackmail, whereas in the show Colin first dismisses Penelope in his need to prove himself capable of protecting her. We see them encourage each other in their writing more than in the show (fingers crossed for s4 though!) and they even discuss how they will keep Pen's Whistledown money for their children. They're a team, through and through, and in the show, we see the start of that, which makes sense, their show counterparts are ten years younger, not as mature as they are on paper.)

All through part 2, Colin stayed true to his confession in that carriage. His love was like torture. He was so insecure about Penelope not loving him as much as he does, questioning what good he even is to her and if she just lied. And yet he held on and did not want to give it up, he embraced it rather than ran from it like the other leads we had so far. He was shattered by the Whistledown secret and yet, he remained, worked through his sense of self, through his anger, through his insecurity, because Penelope is worth it. He was willing to lie for her, to lie to Benedict to get the money needed, to protect her. And Penelope clung to him just as fiercely, always reminding him that she loves him for simply being him. One always has worth. That is the validation Colin has always craved, that is when it truly sinks in for him and that he understands her selfless love for him; he does not need to pretend, he does not need to be useful, he does not need to have everything figured out, he can breathe. Penelope will be there every step of the way. Has always been, in fact, she's always been a constant in his life, and now that he is lucky enough to stand by her side and soak even a little bit of her light, well, he sure won't ever let go again.

And to end this section, not really a point of analysis, but shoutout to my girl Pen whose first instinct when she realises she can touch Colin is to reach for his hair and boy does he melt at the touch. Unlocked his hair pulling kink right there.

This is still a friends to lovers story

Fear not, the romcom vibes are still here! I kept this part for the last to end on a sweet note, just like this season. And this is also the part where I stop pretending to be a reviewer and I just allow myself to be self-indulgent, pointing out how cute these two are.

So, first of all:

They just fucked and what's the first thing they do together? Laugh. In the carriage, Colin did make a joke, prompting the laughing but in the mirror scene? They simply look at each other and start chuckling because they are so giddy upon realising this is real, they're best friends, and they're in love, and they'll be married and they will soon be able to do this whenever they want. Then, Penelope lets out a bit of her insecurity, hoping this was just as good for Colin as it was for her since she knew he was more experienced, and when he reassures her, Penelope grins and jokes about "the women in Paris", which she does again during the Mondrich ball, teasing him about the spicy parts of his journals. She is so secure in their relationship, she feels no jealousy towards Colin's past experiences but bet if anyone ever brings up Debling again, Colin would lose it, and I kinda wish we had at least one scene of Colin properly addressing his one-sided beef with Debling.

During their whole engagement (and before the LW reveal), they're just so incredibly in love, so sweet it might give you cavities, and it was such a breath of fresh air after two seasons and one spin-off of the main couple never really embracing their love until the later part of the seasons. The way Colin makes Penelope smile during the reading bans scene, then when they dance alone in the church, or when Colin adds the twirl (the flourish!) during the dance at the Mondrich ball and then when they laugh at the Butterfly Ball when everything is said and done and they can finally, fully be themselves... They are just two romantics at heart who are thrilled to be in love and miss no opportunity to flaunt it in front of the Ton who's always judged them so harshly. I wish I could include videos in this because posting screenshots would not give those moments justice.

And the comedic aspect of the romcom vibes of this season are still present in part 2, although a bit overshadowed by the Whistledown drama but I mean:

Penelope and Colin finally having a chaperone in Portia, and having no idea how to act now because they never had to worry about a chaperone before (and by that point, Penelope is already pregnant)

Poor Kanthony trying to find the right time to announce the pregnancy but here come Polin, getting engaged out of nowhere

Portia and Violet's tentative beginning of friendship, wherein Violet is trying so hard to be polite when faced with Portia's over-enthusiastic attitude

The whole charade scene with Anthony getting so competitive and glaring at poor Penelope when she gets the answers right.

All the times someone brought up Whistledown's imminent unmasking and Penelope taking psyching damage every time (meanwhile in part 1, it was everyone telling Colin how kind of him it is to help Pen find a husband). Peak "actions have consequences huh". She could not catch a break. Which okay, she was panicking and then fainted but I still find it a little funny because girl, you kinda had it coming.

The whole scene of Penelope revealing the money she made with Whistledown and Colin's, Eloise's and Portia's reactions.

And I'm probably forgetting other parts. It has now been confirmed as well that a lot of the reshoots were to make the season more light-hearted, more romcom, and they had Colin be less angry than he originally was in the script (notably after their wedding breakfast), so even if I resent that dreadful wig they put on my poor man, I'm so grateful the season remains, overall, more romcom than true drama like the other seasons could have been, because at the end of the day, this is the love story of two friends who already cared so deeply for each other. Honestly, I'd argue the true angst of the season came more from Eloise's and Penelope's rekindling friendship (and also Cressida's home life) (the true love triangle).

And speaking of truly knowing one another, let's go back to the one thing that brought Colin and Penelope together: the letters.

Note how loosely bound Penelope's letters to Colin were compared to the other pile, because he has kept them with him during his travels this past summer and kept rereading them when she did not respond back. And just like the letters (or lack thereof) were the first clues that something had shifted in their relationship and Colin realises how much he misses her, her letters also become the reason he reconciles Penelope with Whistledown because oh yeah, the writing is the same, clever, sharp, and beautiful, just like his Penelope. As he rereads them, he realises how he himself overlooked Penelope for so long, how he was compelled by her quill, how powerful it was that they made him feel more confident and how their absence made his sense of self crumble. The same way, upon his return, Whistledown calling him out, shattered that new self he had tried so hard to build. Penelope was the reason he found his confidence, then lost himself when she did not respond, and the reason he had to look inward when, through Whistledown, she saw through his facade.

But also isn't it sweet, that he unknowingly always praised her writing? Of her letters obviously, but of Whistledown as well. For all his negative feelings about the gossip column, one thing he always admitted is how clever Whistledown is, hence why he did not even believe Cressida could actually be her. Deep down, he's always admired her writing, even if he did not realise it was her yet. He was so attached to her letters after all.

And speaking of writing? Penelope becomes his muse.

That is him writing about Penelope's debut, proving he's always paid attention to her, between this, him being the one to bring up how they met, and recalling all the times Eloise kept bringing up Penelope in conversations. And he's writing all of this after the church dance scene! After Penelope's declared her love for him and how she's loved him for years! He was lamenting that love made him so simple he could not write a single word, but it is love that fuelled his mind once more and broke his writer's block. And then in the epilogue, he is so proud to say Penelope helped him edit his book, he who, a couple of episodes earlier, was so determined to do this on his own to prove himself, now his pride is that he worked together with his wife and they are building a family, and a writing empire, together.

The season ends as they kiss in front of the very window Penelope often sat in front of, overlooking Bridgerton house, hoping to catch a glimpse of Colin, who now will always be looking at her first. They also now have the heir to the Featherington barony, and they inherit the very house with the garden where Colin first broke Penelope's heart, then mended it by offering his help, then where they shared their first kiss. It is theirs now.

And it's just! They're so in love! I have no other words (also this post is so long, I am getting tired myself I probably sound like a broken record by now).

Conclusion

I think Bridgerton s3 has officially become a comfort watch. I'm never one to really rewatch shows, but this specific season has joined the small list I have. As already mentioned, when it comes to romance, friends to lovers has always been a favourite and Polin is such a good depiction of the trope. They're the gigglers on the side of balls, the ones who did not so much seek the centre stage but were thrown in the middle of it, which fits so well even on a meta perspective because Luke and Nicola admitted they sure did not expect their season to come this early either. They won't be the most popular couple, perhaps, but my God, they are mine. Despite the length of this post, I think I probably still forgot some points but oh well, gotta stop somewhere and I'm sure people more eloquent than I made posts as well.

This season was not perfect, I have a lot more gripes about it than this long post makes it sound like (although they're mostly non-polin related or something about the production), but I like to focus on the positives. And for all its flaws, s3 sure knew how to deliver a sweet romance between two outcasts who found their home with each other.

And with that, dearest gentle readers, this humble author - or rather, this person who fancies themself an author at their lost hours - finally lets their old keyboard rest, and hopes you have enjoyed this long read into a mind with too many thoughts about a gentle, kind man who has a lot of love to give and a fierce, passionate woman who wants to be loved.

(The sweetest little parallel to end this on, ever since s1, he's always seen her <3)

[armageddon-generation]

The Bear Season 3 is a bridge season that feels weird on purpose, but also has some big problems: A review/ramble

Season 3 is clearly a bridge season, and suffers from having been written & shot alongside season 4. As a result, unlike the seasons 1 & 2, it doesn’t feel like a distinctive or complete chapter of the restaurant’s life. Just half of one.

This is partly because there’s no ‘end-goal’ like in S2, or clear progression/visible improvement to the restaraunt like in S1. Season 3 is about stagnation. Most of its storylines are left unresolved- the review, Sydney’s job offer, Tiff & Frank’s wedding, Marcus being inspired by his mother’s death, Tina and the dying farmer’s market, Carmy’s conflicts with both Claire and Ritchie. All these threads will roll into Season 4, and Season 3 suffers from that.

PACING, FLASHBACKS AND TONE: FORM REFLECTING FUNCTION

HOWEVER. This being a ‘bridge’, character-focused season isn’t inherently bad. Individual episodes of The Bear still tear when they want to. Episodes 1, 2, & 3 are a very strong setup for the season and establish good momentum. Episodes 6 & 8 are fantastic character pieces, and 8 in particular made me bawl. Even the finale, though bogged down by masturbatory celebrity chef cameos, was a strong episode.

The problem is all the stuff in-between. The actual day-to-day running of the restaurant feels hollow and empty now. There’s a distance between the characters and it feels like they don’t interact as a group anywhere near as much.

Part of this is absolutely deliberate. People joke about S3 'method acting' its way into bad reviews to reflect the restaraunt, but losing steam and the connections between characters is genuinely a formal reflection of the kitchen crew's moods, as the day-to-day grind of running the restaurant wears them down.

The use of flashbacks in 3x1 is excellent, but Season 3 quickly becomes way over-reliant on them (episode 9 especially, oh my god). Again, this feels like a conscious choice to reflect Carmy’s state of inertia/the fact he’s perpetually trapped in the past. It makes sense, but that doesn’t give the show a pass for being boring, and 3x9 was the first time I’ve ever felt genuinely bored by this show.  

FUCK THE FAKS & NEGLECTING POC CHARACTERS

My other problems are much more clearly the fault of the show; I do not give a flying fuck about the Faks. Neil is cute in small doses. The brothers are great as soundboards for other characters; Theo getting Sweeps to talk about his backstory in baseball, the brothers comforting Donna at the end of 3x8 Ice Chips, or the haunting argument finally forcing Carmy to talk about Claire.

But on their own? When they’re just bouncing off each-other? These guys aren't half as funny as the show seems to think they are. And their scenes drag on so long. For example, the B-plot of 3x5 Computer wastes half of an otherwise strong episode with pointless fucking around, propped up by a pointless celebrity cameo. I do not Give. A. Fuck about haunting, Mr. Cena, why the fuck are you here.

The aggravating time-wasting is made worse by The Bear continuing to neglect and underuse its POC characters. This is the second season in a row where I’ve felt Syd only got the bullet-points of an arc. She is the LEADING LADY. Ayo is now the show’s biggest breakout star. USE HER.

I really enjoyed Tina's focus episode, but unlike Forks and Honeydew last season it doesn't move the plot forward, and unlike Fishes the flashbacks don't contextualize Tina''s actions in the present because she's barely doing anything in the present, despite the show setting up her struggles in the kitchen early in the season.

Meanwhile, Ebra got crumbs again and Sweeps got a single scene, which is tragically at least better than he had last year.

Marcus’ arc this year is a fascinating microcosm for the show’s themes, but it barely gets a second to breathe because we have to cram in another five minutes of the Fak brothers arguing about that time Neil got taped into a cardboard box. It’s ridiculous. And then they showcase Nat being all protective of Marcus in an episode he’s barely in, when she barely interacts with him. It feels unearned & disingenuous, using Marcus as a prop for a Hell Yeah gotcha moment.

I liked Josh Harnett though, that casting had purpose, and both Chef Terry and Luca were used excellently.

CAMEOS

The surprise celebrity cameos this year felt distracting and indulgent in a way last year’s didn’t. In Fishes the slew of cameos were a dramatic tool meant to disorient the viewer. This year, John Cena is here to distract you from how pointless this B-plot is, and we've brought in a bunch of famous chefs to tell you direct-to-camera why cooking and the service industry are so important.

The chefs in particular are bizzare after season 1 spent most of its time telling us how evil and toxic the fine dining industry is. But now it's actually just the fault of a few bad apples, and these guys are really rad actually?

CLAIRE

Much has been said about how Claire was an underwritten archetype for Carmy to project onto. Now, I don’t much give a fuck about shipping in this show, but it’s clear Claire & Carmy’s romance didn’t connect with most people. It felt hollow. At the time, I thought this was deliberate, like the tone and flashbacks this season; Claire’s writing reflected Carmy’s perception of her as a saintlike childhood daydream who could deliver him from all the stresses of his life.

But this season, not only does the show refuse to let Claire go, it doubles down on objectifying her as a prop for Carmy’s self-loathing, trapped in his memory.

Again, this might work thematically if I knew Claire as a person, or was at all invested in their romance, but I don't and I’m not. As it stands, the multiple extended flashbacks with Claire feel like futile attempts to plug the holes in Season 2's weakest storyline, and drag their episodes down. If we’re supposed to root for Carmy to find happiness outside the kitchen, this is having the opposite effect, and it’s made worse by it all being left unresolved by the finale.

Either do something with this character or move on, because right now every time Claire appears I clock out emotionally, and that’s not her fault, it’s the way the show treats her.

CARMY THE ASSHOLE

All this contributes to an overriding problem that I again think is deliberate, but risky; Carmy isn’t likeable this season. He causes his conflicts with Ritchie and Syd, to whom he has passed down his generational trauma. Carmy's menu is the biggest thing dragging the Bear into bankruptcy. Carmy has stopped working to resolve his familial trauma like in seasons 1 & 2, just as Nat starts making headway. He functionally doesn’t exist outside the kitchen, entirely preoccupied with the past & a girl the audience doesn’t care about.

Unlike previous seasons, the few times Carmy is called out for his bad behaviour he doesn’t make much effort to listen or improve. Again, I get that this is the point. Carmy is on a low, self-destructive ebb, and hopefully when things start resolving in season 4 he’ll snap out of it. But him dragging the show down with him has consequences.

EPISODE COUNT & FINAL THOUGHTS

A lot of people are saying that S3 only had enough plot for 2-3 episodes, and while I think that’s disingenuous- The Bear has always been a character-focused, vibes-first show- I do think it should've returned to the 8-episode count of season 1. You can consolidate the same amount of ‘plot development’ into fewer episodes while maintaining the deliberate sense of inertia. Cut back on the Faks and flashbacks to give more time to the kitchen crew, and many of the complaints would disappear.

Anyway, all this to say that The Bear season 3 is not Bad like some are saying, but it is a step down from its first two seasons. It feels like it’s got lost in its own head and lost a part of itself along the way, and while a lot of that is deliberate- formally reflecting Carmy’s internal conflict- it exacerbates existing problems (underwritten POC, Claire) and creates several new ones (celeb cameos, overusing flashbacks, unresolved plotlines) previous seasons were able to sidestep.

[bluejayadler]

Is Desire a "friend" of Charles

Got another NGL. Apologies for the delay. This one is only partially my fault. The app didn't initially tell me I had this message, so I didn't see it for 3 days. The other 2-3 days are cause I'm slow. Anyhow, here's the prompt:

And my long rambling 1 am response is below the read more. (No editing, no reviewing, we sending this like the Night Nurse sent herself. Enjoy!

It seem taken for granted that Charles is a friend of Desire's. Why?

I actually don't know. I don't think he is a friend of Desire. I can see the narrative play here. Desire and Despair in the Sandman universe are twins and its regularly mentioned that Desire and Despair are connected, one leading to the other. We taste despair when we desire things we cannot have or things we lose. At the same time, despair can make us desire things - things that would spare us from that despair. So Despair and Desire are very tightly linked and often seen together. And since the boys are inseparable, I think people are drawn to the fun narrative options there. A lot of what I've seen when Charles is tied to Desire is actually Desire seeking Charles out. I haven't read all the Sandman comics in a long while, so I am rusty on things. Still, I do know that Desire is pretty involved in humans lives. Not for the human's benefit but for Desire's entertainment. So I've seen a few fics and headcanons that are essentially, Desire sees that Despair has a plaything in Edwin and so decides to claim the other one in the pair for themself. Which I think can be pretty fitting for Desire's character. I don't really find that as much fun to explore for Charles's character though - for me personally.

I think one reason I struggle to tie Desire to Charles is because so much of the discourse I see is around intimate desire (romantic or sexual) - mostly the idea that Charles is in love with Edwin and desires Edwin but is consciously or subconsciously denying that desire. And I admit, I personally struggle with reading romantic/sexual coding outside very formulaic tropes. I do love payneland as a ship and think that it's endgame for the show. I love the friendship and partnership the boys have. I agree they have "married for 30 years" vibes. I think Charles needs to have his own arc before he realizes that and he needs to learn what love is, given his own abuse history and how that would impact his perception of what love means and if he's capable or willing to give it in that way. At the same time, a LOT of the scenes the fandom points at as proof of Charles's romantic feelings towards Edwin, I don't see that way. I don't read them that way. This might be due to my being very ace/aro or my particular brand of neurodivergent, as I struggle in real life to read a lot of social cues around romantic/intimate relationships. That "they were roommates" joke...yeah, I've done that...to friends who were dating prior to moving in together and only realized they were dating when they announced they were engaged. Not kidding or exaggerating. So yeah, I struggle with reading Charles as madly in love with Edwin romantically in season 1. And I don't associate him with Desire in that regard.

But I do think there's a fun (for me) way to explore Charles being associated with Desire from how I view the season's events. I don't think its as a "friend" though, even in the way that Despair claims Edwin as a friend. First of all, I don't think Charles is as much fun to play with. Charles does have a lot of desire, and there's the obvious relationship with Edwin, be it romantic/platonic/whatever. But for the most part, Charles sets his own desires aside for others. He is the people pleaser and will put his own desires down to put others first. So I think he'd be hard to hold in Desire's realm/power. Not because he doesn't have wants and desires but because he is someone who has gotten very good at setting them aside. He's essentially built up a little resistance, I think. But there is one major desire I think would draw Desire's attention that Charles couldn't protect against.

One desire that Charles held throughout his life that even carried over into his afterlife - to be enough.

Charles wants to be enough. His breakdown at the cliff is all about that. His breakdown in episode 5 is an extension of that. Even in episode 1, we see his reaction to being called out as not appearing to be the brawn. Its played for laughs, yeah, but he gets defensive. He doesn't brush it off or ignore it or even laugh it off. The brawn is his job and he needs to do it, to be good enough at it to protect Edwin and this afterlife they've made together. In ep 3, he starts to touch on the abuse he experienced. "No matter how good I was". Because however good he was at whatever he did, it wasn't good enough. No strong enough. Not fast enough. Not good enough at sports. Not good enough in school. Not good enough when he was alive. In ep 4, he says he's not good enough to help Edwin or Crystal, to save the Devlin girls. Even in death, even as a ghost helping so many others, he's not good enough. He helped save Crystal and Niko. He helped the WW1 ghost move on. He's helped dozens probably hundreds over the years, but its not enough. He's not enough. Not enough to stop his dad hurting him. Not enough for his friends to care for. Not enough for his school to tell the truth. Not enough for Edwin to admit what's going on with the Cat King. Not enough.

Charles just wants to be enough. He has always wanted to be enough. Its the one desire he never sets aside. Its the one desire he holds so tightly to himself that its the first true desire we see burst out of him when he lets the mask of a smile slip away.

And I think this would be an interesting angle to have Desire come in from. Because Charles doesn't know he desires Edwin. He says he doesn't know how he feels but he, they, have forever to figure it out. Imagine Desire showing up and Charles having that confusion - because he hasn't been running from his love of Edwin, he just doesn't know what it looks like yet. But then Desire points out that "desire" isn't just intimacy or sex or pleasure. "Desire" can be a lot of things, like wanted to be enough.

I know I'm a bit biased, as I don't often connect with romantic/intimate plotlines. I love found family and yeah, payneland is a ship I really get behind because its foundation isn't just romantic/intimate like many ships I've seen in tv/media. But I would love to see Desire come in in a different way and explore the different desires characters can have, not just for an intimate relationship, but other things (also not for things like greed or wealth or power as that's already been played out). I think Charles's desire "to be enough" is such an amazing thing to explore as so many viewers would relate to it as well. 

[askhezureviews]

Think you’ll ever do a review of Arcane? If you have seen the whole series, what are your basic thoughts on it?

OH HELL YEAH IM WRITING A REVIEW FOR IT AS WE SPEAK

Uhhhhh,,, oh man I'm gonna ramble SOOOoo much about this show it's my most favorite show of all time.

Season 1 is super solid, LOVE the character arcs and build up, they are INCREDIBLE. The animation is solid, the storyline set up is full of hype, the butterfly effect is very prominent in the story telling and I love me a good action packed story heavy series surrounding politics. Boy howdy does this show give us depthy characters, I'm LOVIN it! Season 2 arc 1 is also pretty solid.

Arc 2, ep 4,5,6 however.... they have some interesting ideas but are otherwise a complete and total mess. Our entire cast straight up disappears from the plot, rushed to all hell (we needed a season 3 SOOooo badly) Every single member of our main cast has contradicted themselves, often within the same episode. The narrator is unreliable.

The final arc of season 2 picked things back up, and while its not perfect by any means, it was breathtakingly unexpected. I enjoyed so much of it. I feel like our characters had good wrap ups, I just hate how we got here. One could argue the show also ship pandered the ending quite a bit and I'm not gonna disagree, I hate to say that was ironically the best part for me.

I was actually mentally, physically, and emotionally unwell for an ENTIRE week after the finale. I stayed up all night watching it. I've never seen a show pull something so insane in my life. I was astounded. I don't think anyone could have predicted how things would have ended up. If Arcane had a season 3 to actually sit down and give more time to explore the ideas they shoved into season 2, I feel like people would be less divided on it. Despite my disappointment for season 2, I still think this show is very good and would recommend it to everyone, even my own mom, ahahaha. ~ Spoilers below for an overall issue I have with Arcane, for both seasons. A really annoying pet peeve of mine

The writers have a problem with plot devices. There has been one per season and they're not good. Sky Young and Isha. They're used to rush a character to the next step in their arc. My personal belief is that these two are wasteful. They only exist for a member of our main cast. They are not their own characters or have any legit relevance to the overall story.

Sky Young is there as a symbol of Viktor's 'humanity' even when the methods of her death or how she's used in the story don't make any sense down the line. She's just an 'obsessed' one-sided love interest that forces Viktor into giving up on the Hexcore- to give up on Piltover and Jayce. Only for him to drop/kill her a SECOND time in season 2 regardless of his initial guilt and distress over "losing" her.

Isha is used to force Jinx to live up to a symbol of rebellion against Piltover, as well as be Jinx's "redemption arc" (she didn't NEED one??? wtf) morality pet, as well as force Jinx into a situation where she'd consider unaliving herself so Ekko can come in and save her.

I am so annoyed with how these characters were handled. Sky should have been more than a lab assistant crushing on Viktor, and Isha should have been more than Jinx's redemption arc morality pet. It's shocking we have such flat plot devices in a show with such insanely depthy characters- especially the other women! I'll talk more about them in my video, but any time I see them on screen, I just want to skip over them.

[justminawrites]

None of you understand Amber Bennett: She's just a girl, your honour. A review of the show writers' least favourite love story from Invincible season 1.

Now let me just preface this by saying I have 2 points to make. Just two, very long, super rambly points that does have mild spoilers for Invincible season 2. Read at your own risk.

Point 1: Amber isn't "understanding" enough is utter bullshit.

There’s no indication that civilians outside of the ones associated with the GDA have any idea how brutal fights are for superheroes. Amber quite literally has no idea what the hell Mark is going through, even after the superhero reveal. The only thing she has a smidgeon of understanding of is his dad beating his ass on live TV. And even that is a heavy maybe because we don’t know how much of the fight the cameras could cover and how much was broadcast to the general public. 

Point 2: Amber’s dated Losers before.

This is stated explicitly in canon, she's “been down that road." Furthermore, she’s also the daughter of a single-parent household. She used to hang out a community centre as a kid because her mom did late hours. Daddy Issues anyone? She’s got a lot of her own problems that we never get to unpack or linger on because the writing decided she wasn’t going to end up with Mark. 

What if she’d already dated an absolute bastard before Mark? Someone who seemed sweet and genuine at first, but then he started slacking. He’d be late to dates, stop taking an interest in anything she did, and just never show up for her in any way that mattered. Amber would make up excuses with her friends and family, oh he’s busy, he’s studying; he cares, I swear, he just has a strange way of showing it. 

Her friends and family don’t believe her completely but they humor her because she really seems to like him. And the ex-boyfriend isn’t a douchebag the whole time.. he brings gifts to make up for being late, he plies and pacifies her with honeyed words and promises to be better.

But each time the lies get more and more difficult to believe. Traffic and science projects, traffic and science projects, even when he shows up smelling like weed and alcohol. Her friends and family give her tight-lipped smiles when her ex-boyfriend gives her sloppy kisses and proclaims over and over “She’s too good for me, this one.”

She tries to be empathetic, she tries to be understanding when they’re alone, he can tell her what it is that’s wrong. But every-time she brings up giving them some space, he takes it as an indication of her not believing him and he guilts her with one sob story or another— she knows him, he was so gentle and respectful before they started dating, does she really think he’d do this to her if he didn’t have a good reason? Just a masterclass in gaslighting. So she gives him a second chance, third chance, fourth even. 

But then he begins cheating on her. Whenever she confronts him about it, he plays victim and accuses her of being “crazy” even though the entire school knows otherwise. She catches him one fine day, and dumps him on the spot. For a short while, Amber’s very proud of this but as time passes she starts to feel extremely embarrassed that it took that long for her to catch on. 

No one blames her, of course, but they all say something along the lines of “We never liked him anyway” which makes Amber doubt the perception of him she had. She internalises their support as a failing on her part to be vigilant, she didn’t want to end up making the same mistakes as her mom, after all. 

Amber becomes guarded. She doesn’t entertain male attention (from Todd, for example) but then she finds out resident wimp Mark Grayson takes a beating for her and she feels bad. 

So she gives him a chance. Mark was a nonissue, a nobody with no track record of being amazing or awful, just an in-between, normal guy who was maybe a little soft spoken and needed to stand up for himself more. 

But every time they try to hang out, something comes in between them. The excuses are laughably obvious this time and Amber is caught between trying to understand if Mark Grayson is trying to let her down easy because he’s not interested or if he’s just another douchebag taking her for a ride. 

He leaves her alone during their study date for an hour to do something shady and/or potentially related to Eve (I know she overheard him yelling at Cecil in his bedroom); Mark tells her he’s been to Mount Everest, but can’t tell her How he got there, and leaves on a non-specific trip for two weeks, right after their first date, and can’t even tell her Where he’s going or what he did when he was there?

So she does what she’d wished she’d done in her first relationship, she sets her boundaries. Firmly. She gives Mark multiple chances to come clean when she tells him she’s not riding that wave again. It’s been brought up a few times that Amber has lingering relationship-trauma.

During their study date Amber tells him she’s been in relationships with violent potentially abusive guys (“Met plenty of guys who were willing to throw a punch for me.”); or when he stands her up for the Dinner with her mom she tells him that he needs to make a choice because she’s “Been down this road before, and once was enough.”

But he still keeps at it and she starts getting tired of defending him to her friends and her mom. He’s just busy, he’s just studying; he cares, I swear, he just has a strange way of showing it. And this time they shake their heads and lightly imply that she’s stuck in a pattern. Amber can feel them comparing Mark to her old boyfriend and it all becomes a bit too much. 

Either he’s a no good drug dealing prick or he’s just wasting her time, whatever it is, Amber’s had enough of being left in the dark. 

The soup kitchen is the final straw, but then she finds out that he gets run over by a bus. He actually gets hurt, this is the first time Amber’s seen him hurt, and she feels awful because if she hadn’t pushed him to show up for her again and again maybe he would’ve been more careful. 

He doesn’t let her visit him in the hospital. A hit and run on the wrong side of town was the story this time— he can’t even tell her this, the specifics of his accident! Eve was his first point of contact after his parents?! At this point Amber is convinced that he’s involved in something violent or something to do with Eve, or both and she’s not sure she wants to keep going with this. 

Amber is confused and hurt but she also feels responsible for Mark’s injuries. Maybe she Was too paranoid, maybe she Was projecting all her relationship-trauma on him and he would tell her what happened at his own pace. So she backtracks, gives him another chance.

College is really the best of all worlds, Mark makes her promises that this time will be different, and Amber tentatively agrees to college together. (She’s still stressed out about his injuries and on edge the whole time though and asks if he has a concussion). 

This is really important because Amber ends up at Upstate U later. She decided to go to college with him, basically because of Him. This wasn’t any specific plan she had before, this was her making room in her life for this boy and potentially everything their lives could be together. 

Then the Reanimen Incident happens. And she loses her shit. Mark Grayson is not the flakey but well-intentioned boyfriend she thought he was.. Mark Grayson is not even a good person! He LEFT her and William at the drop of a hat to save his own slimy skin, that bastard! Her intuition was right, she never should’ve given him a chance. 

Amber was no longer going to give Mark Grayson the time of day, much less share a bed with the self-serving jerk; she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of spinning another tall tale. Or seeing her cry. She closes the door to the shower rooms behind her, and overhears Rick leaving to get them all some beer. Dorm room walls are thin, after all.

Then she hears something else.

“You’re Invincible!” William’s voice carries over excitedly, “And you never told me?”

Here goes the "problematic" bit.

I think Amber was lying when she told Mark she knew he was Invincible weeks ago. Amber didn’t even know who Invincible was until a few minutes after the Reanimen attack. She isn’t acting for anyone around her, she’s genuinely confused when the superhero jets off because she’s never seen him in her life. 

I think she overheard William freaking out about it in the dorm room and she pieced together Mark’s absences with his vague excuses and why couldn’t visit him at the hospital. She takes a shower to cool off but sitting and stewing on all of it just makes her angrier and she decides to go to the frat party just to get away from Mark for a while. 

Now why wouldn’t she just tell him she overheard them talking? 

Amber is an assertive independent character with a lot of pride. And that’s not a bad thing. Amber has a lot to be proud of. She has a strong sense of justice, she doesn’t take crap from anyone and she has too much self-worth to put up with liars. 

You can clearly see this in the way she approaches Mark in the beginning. She asks William if he’s dating Eve, and then instead of calling him herself, she gets Todd to give Mark her number so he can call her if he’s interested, despite the fact that she already is. She has too much pride to chase him. It’s one of her fixed flaws, and it’s consistent to her character. 

So finding out that Mark is actually Invincible almost by accident, is kind of embarrassing for Amber. Not only because she yelled at him for disappearing but for all the times he misled her and lied to her only to actually have a good reason for doing it. There’s a lot of mixed emotions there, shame, guilt, concern. Guilt.

Admitting that she overheard he was Invincible would be like admitting she was a stupid, nagging girlfriend who had no right to be a part of his life (the way the fandom perceives her) so she doesn’t. She tries to distract herself with the party, flirts with someone she just met not ten minutes ago, and feels awful because he immediately drops the girlfriend bomb. 

Now she’s forced to confront the fact that she has a boyfriend, and her flakey, well-intentioned superhero boyfriend is sitting and moping in the dorm room because she doesn’t have the guts to tell him she knows. Because telling him she knows would remove the choice he’d need to make when deciding whether or not he was serious about their relationship.

Amber was serious, Amber was going to change her life and potentially open her future to college with him, but was Mark really sure about Them if he couldn’t even tell her of his own accord? 

Telling him would be like giving him another out. And Amber was done giving him an out. 

When he finally confesses he doesn’t see why she’s mad at him, because he doesn’t see her at all. He can’t even begin to imagine what this roller coaster of a weekend has been for her because she’s been serious about him all this time and it took them breaking up completely for Mark to choose her back in the first place and go all in. 

Now it’s true that Mark is entitled to his secrets but Amber is also entitled to being upset that he can’t tell her 1 solid thing about his life. Not one thing does he trust her enough to explain, and at that point why should they even be dating each other? Why should she change the course of her future for a guy who can’t tell her where he was last weekend?

Then Omni-man beats him up on live TV, and now that she knows that he’s Invincible, she finally gets a glimpse into the bloody, gruesome world that is Mark’s. His Dad isn’t a superhero, his Dad is a Monster, and Mark is discovering this the same time as the rest of the world.

So she freaks out because she cares, and she’s so relieved to see him not beat to a bloody pulp like on TV that she kisses him. She likely had no intention of getting back together with him before that, but world-ending fiascos often come with heightened emotions, and they’re just kids at the end of the day. 

She’s not a manipulative, narcissistic villain, she’s just a proud girl, in love with a boy who can’t decided whether or not he loves her back. 

Now do I think Mark is a terrible jerk who doesn’t deserve Amber? No. I watched Invincible the same way it was intended, almost entirely through Mark’s eyes, and it’s hard to assign blame in this case because we see how horrifying and traumatic being a superhero actually is. But that’s the point, we only see one half of the story. 

We see Amber through Mark’s eyes and in his opinion she could afford to be more compassionate to his excuses the moment she finds out he’s a hero, the way Eve can, but that’s not true at all because Amber has no idea what being a hero is like. Eve does, and that’s the difference that Mark is wilfully blind to. 

But Mark also has no idea what Amber’s life is like and it’s easy to get lost in the sea of all the lives lost and villains fought, that he genuinely hasn’t spent any time with his girlfriend as a person beyond his Girlfriend. Amber isn’t a person to him, like William stopped being eventually; they became sort of tethers to Mark’s humanity, a way to distinguish himself from his Dad. A way to ground him. 

Seriously? When was the last time Mark even talked to William, his once Best Friend? They’re not his Mom, they’re concepts to him. They’re civilians, potential victims he could end up losing if he doesn’t police himself and his powers. Mark slowly becomes disillusioned to his own life as a human, the more the leans into the Viltrumite half of his parentage. 

It’s a little tragic but it’s the story we’re seeing. In season 2, when Mark and Amber break up and he gives up his dream for college, these two things are almost explicitly correlated. Mark is coming to terms with the fact that he’s going to outlive everyone he knows, even his new baby brother and that is just the most chaotic example of a slow-burn trauma if I’ve ever seen one. He’s giving up being human, but maybe not giving up his humanity. 

______________________________________________________________

TLDR: None of you understand Amber Bennett because the writers decided that Mark would outlive her before he ever had the chance to see things from her perspective and I am SALTY about it

[ninjago-dragon-reviews]

Earth Dragon Defense (Rocky)

Number: 2509

Year Released: 2011

SPECS 

Head: Rubber mold w/ Ball shooter

Body: Rigid technic hip

Tail: Swivel

Wings: N/A

Feet: One Bionicle piece

Advancement?: yes

If yes: First rigid hip, first swivel tail, first no wings

REVIEW

Poseability: 5/10 

Rocky has good and bad qualities to it. The hip is rigid jointed, which adds some unique movement, but the back legs are technic pinned to the body, which makes the legs fairly immovable. The front legs have decent movement and it has some cute poses here and there, but the lack of a neck, geared and swivel tail, and fixed back legs make it hard to do simple poses like sitting or walking. 

Durability:8/10 

Connected pretty well. Some instability in the wings/”neck” area but the body and back are well structured, the tail rarely comes apart, and the legs are so simple that it’s difficult to break them. 

Playability:7/10 

Direct character from the show and good molding of personality. It has poseability issues, but the dragon is easy to handle and fun to move around and play with. Knocked down a point for having no wings (despite the character in the show not having wings, it still makes the set unable to fly around). The ball shooter mouth is a good built in projectile. 

Displayability:7/10 

A great design model for shelves, especially for the time it was released. Pure Ninjago essence with a rigid rocky design that fits well with the theme without seeming too mechanical. A bright brown and green colour makes it pop, but the limited poses makes it a tad annoying to place on the shelf in a unique way without the body being too flat.

Look/Design:7/10 

Very unique and eye-catching design. Slim use of light tan, green, and grey helps make all the colours pop and the brown is a nice base colour. The Bionicle feet are a bit clunky and the lack of a neck lends it to be a tad awkward at some angles. The head mold is well done and the textures are solid as well as accurate to the show. The hip is a good structure for posing, but it leaves empty space inside the body that is unnatural. 

OVERALL SCORE

7/10