#screw you brain
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Being able to change or adjust the scent of my room gives me so much power.
#scented candles#for autistic people#screw you brain#i can be in a furniture store if I want#now I am at my Grammy's housw#no it doesn't smell like outside#but it smells like passive socializing#and not depression
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ok wait
anyone else can’t identify wth they’re experiencing emotionally on a more specific scale ??
like i’ll be thinking “i’m feeling like i wanna cry and every cell in my body wants to explode wth is this?” and heck if i know if it’s a meltdown, panic attack, stress, or whatever else is in the english vocab
and then there’s like the times i’m like “ok so im erm kinda wanna cry again.. i think im depressed” or “i feel like my bones are filling with a soda someone dropped down the stairs and it’s all fizzy n crud why?is this what sensory overload feels like or am i just so tired im failing to process crud?”
and it’s so annoying bc then my parents will be tellin me “erm you gotta elaborate” and i’m over here frustrated bc i have no words to further elaborate except through supposedly indecipherable metaphors ??????😭
which is all ironic bc, as they keep telling me, i’m a writer
IF IM A WRITER GUYS HOW👏THE👏HECK👏CAN I NOT DESCRIBE MY👏OWN👏FEELINGS 👏👏👏👏👏WTHHHHH 😭😭😭🤬🤬🤬
(wasn’t angry when i wrote any of this i thought it was just ironic and funny to me)
erm sorry guys lemme go erm honk mimimimi honk MIMImimi
#not a angry/depressed vent#just a rant#uhhh i wasn’t angry when i wrote this#just found it really really funny /srs#lol#random#i think i need a nap LMAOO#actually autistic#autism experiences#wth brain i thought you knew this#screw you brain#grrrrrr#and then there’s the fact i see people everywhere using stuff like headphones and sunglasses in public#and then there’s my parents being like “erm it’ll draw attention to you and that’s not how you fit in properly erm#BRO#WTH DO U WANT ME TO DO IF THATS THE PROBLEM ALL ALONG#WAAAAAAAAA#did i say i can’t identify the causes of any of these feelings#lmao#anyway nap time#autism thoughts
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My inner critic has woken up and chosen violence today
#she can fuck off#such a little b#and yes she’s a separate entity#i have no interest in being associated with her#even if i am her main obsession#screw you brain#anxiety
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this
This.
THIS.
THIS.
THIS.
This!!!!!!
(also, to everyone getting on my case about not reblogging or reposting, I actually tried to find this Tumblr after I found the post on Pinterest and it doesn't exist anymore, so shut up and get off my back 🙃)
#living with autism#anxiety and autism#autism#autistic adult#actually autistic#autistic communication#adhd#adhd adult#adhd brain#audhd#the hell that is trying to find a job when you are neurodivergent#it is specifically designed to work against us#nothing is made for us#we just get royally screwed
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After months of research and development and market testing and perfecting the first item I feel confident selling online, I have realized... that it is an incredibly niche item that only a specific subset of absolute nerds would want to buy, and I will have to do a ton of explaining the basic idea over and over again before people generally get what it is I'm even selling. RIP me
#this is like the time I spraypainted a bunch of screw heads gold#because I was putting up gold spraypainted shelf brackets and wanted these black screws to not stand out#and to make it easier I took a piece of thin cardboard and cut a series of Xes in it#then pushed the screws in a little bit and positioned it over the gap between boards on the back deck#and used my hammer to just plonk those screws into place so I could spraypaint them!#i felt so clever I posted a video of it#(gold spraypaint makes me feel giddy and childlike)#and everyone was like#“GIRL NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT DON'T TRY TO *HAMMER* YOUR *SCREWS* INTO A DECK!”#it took like. so much work to try to explain to people why this was a problem I wanted to solve#much less the mechanism by which i solved it#my brain is just. HIGHLY WEIRD SOMETIMES
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“Shipping Phan” in 2024 feels to me just like appreciating the most popular ship in a TV show. Like what do you mean you ship Crowley and Aziraphale? Like yeah of course you fucking do, those bitches are meant for each other and it’s the most obvious thing to ship. Oh, you ship a literal married couple in another show who have been together for seasons on end? yeah no shit you do, they are literally canon and soulmates and so fucking cute together. Like “shipping Phan” doesn’t even feel like a thing to me anymore, it’s just kinda like having eyes and appreciating what you can see through them.
#idk man does this make sense#can you tell their posts on Instagram screwed up my brain#they take up every thought in my head#anyways it’s literally 6 am I should sleep#dan and phil#dnp#phan#d&p#phandom#amazingphil
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made a playlist and needed a cover and now i’ve got some sort of disease
#mine#creepypasta#jeffrey woods#jeff the killer#jtk#ticci toby#toby rogers#ticcijeff#i like drawing my swirly colores its fun and awesome#instant fix for whatever screw is loose in my brain#anyway. them. toxic yaoi. are they anything to you#very clearly inspired by rbs on my profile i LOVE me some good colors#ghhughhh toby and jeff save me toby and jeff
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ghost is so excited it dumps its arsenal in the house
#yeah it prepares a lot throughout the years#with weapons just lying on the ground you don't really have to be able to fight to get them#i can probably make it say a lot of fucked up stuff for a lot of weapons but this is already 10 pages long now#it becomes a sort of weapon drawing practice in the end#which is... good? i guess?#i mean weapons are hard to draw because you can't just completely screw up the perspective and ratio and still make it sort of good looking#also fuck forbearance what the hell is that rotating stuff at the front it twisted my brain#why did i choose to draw that its not like im making a point about shaxx having rhulk's weapon by standing in one place 24/7#should've drawn edge transit instead at least i actually use that#destiny 2#destiny ghost#destiny exo#destiny 2 art#my art
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You made Killer such a cute little sad boy omg I am screaming. Please hug him or something, or trap him under a content little kitty idk but he needs it.
I love your art, it's so soft, sweet, warm, and cozy. Like marshmallows in warm hot cocoa <3
awe, ur sweet anon, thank u i appreciate this very much <333
belated cuddles from a kibby and his crush!! for the birthday boy! (napping at the coziest corner at ccino's 😎)
<< 🎯
#mblue art#self insert#killer!sans#(after drinking warm hot cocoa w marshmallows on a slow quiet day? yes!!)#(that's a lovely drink i should make that when i get the opportunity 🥰 ty again anonnn)#campus au#km#km route#(killer is a poor little meow meow to me so reading that first part made me chuckle haha)#(supposed to b a sketch but brain said screw it and slapped on colors 😤)#thank youuu to you guys for following and enjoying this little college au comic thing with my sona and killer !!#there's more to come with these two sillies but yeah i love my little college au !! w/ different routes !! bc i love more than one skeleton#AND shoutout to my friend for rambling with me and encouraging ideas in my head ily !! yk who u are <3#comics r tough but i'm glad i was able to finish what i planned 🥺;; (i'm proud of myself for that actually... ue ueu e...;;)#(big yippee i love u campus au my beloved)
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I used to get an arguments on facebook and it bit me in the ass enormously because it turns out that when you get an arguments on facebook habitually, you'll be interacting with a lot of other people who get an arguments on facebook habitually, and most of these people are deeply unpleasant and they will be super mean to you in really fucked up ways. so for a couple of years I just sort of dropped off ever interacting with anyone who said things that I did not agree with. I would just scroll past stuff or I would get upset about it privately and move on. I did not ever engage. and the last couple of weeks I've started being able to say things in response to things I don't agree with in ways that I feel lay out what my perspective is but do not get overly invested in "winning" or "proving" anything -- I will say my piece generally for the benefit of other people who might be reading the conversation and need to hear what I have to say. and then I will turn notifications off and go do something else.
anyway. wow. y'all heard about this? pretty cool shit.
#a friend of mine posted on her facebook page about the importance of pain management in dog behavioral problems#and some lady came in and started gnashing her teeth about pill popping and the opiate epidemic and 'masking pain'#and she was using her experience as someone who experiences chronic pain and who refuses to ever treat it.#as like a gotcha. I was just like I'm really sorry that you feel the need to deny yourself pain relief.#here is the scientific medical information that we have about the effect of untreated pain on the brain and the neurological system#here is information about how detrimental untreated pain is to the well-being of any organism#I think it would behoove you to look into some of the recent studies about this!#have a good day!#meanwhile she is like telling everyone to go screw themselves#which kinda proves my friend's point about untreated pain having a behavioral effect. ironically.#anyway
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Thinking about how the Stan twins were both taught from a young age that life is a matter of transactions. How they were valued only for the money they could bring their family, and how this shaped their lives in such different ways.
Ford was the intelligent one, and this made him valuable. He knew what he had to offer. He knew he was important. (He had to be. Experience had shown him that love was conditional. He had to earn it. He had to be enough.) When Bill Cipher approached him, he confirmed everything Ford wanted so desperately to believe about himself. Imagine that sense of excitement, of accomplishment, of pride and power and relief. Imagine having that final, unshakeable source of external validation - that this being that knew everything and could have chosen anyone, chose you. Imagine knowing exactly what you could do to please this being and, with the understanding that love is conditional, knowing that you could fulfill the requirements for that love. Imagine knowing exactly how to ensure you would be loved, not just by that being but by the family you uplifted and the future you created. All you had to do was satisfy your own curiosity… all you had to do was build a portal. Is it any wonder that Ford fell for Bill’s tricks?
Then we have Stan, the failure. If love was transactional, he could never pay the fee. He knew people only helped you if you had something to offer. And he had nothing to offer, so why would anyone ever help him? Why would anyone care? Of course he didn’t fall for Bill. He couldn’t. When Bill promised gifts and power and happiness, how could Stan believe a word he said? In a world without altruism, such promises could never be trusted. There was always a price to be paid - and Stan had never been able to pay it.
And so the end of the world was triggered and then averted, all because one brother thought he could earn the world’s love, while the other knew he would never earn anything good.
A+ parenting, Filbrick. Truly.
#very sarcastic at the end there#I hate filbrick pines#anyway the stans have my brain in a chokehold#the story! the character arcs!! the themes!!!#I adore them#once again the pacing of this analysis got screwed up#blame that on stream of consciousness and sleep deprivation#I really did want to add more to Stan’s section but I guess that’ll have to wait#gravity falls#grunkle ford#grunkle stan#gravity falls stanford#stanford pines#stanley pines#gravity falls stanley#stan twins#ok when I talk about love here it’s not really in the context of billford or romantic love at all#it’s just the feeling of being loved and important and actually mattering to somebody#but you could view it through a romantic lens I suppose so I’ll tag the ship#billford#gravity falls analysis#madbard rambles
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someone get this samsung flatscreen tv out of my head. he refuses to leave and won’t pay rent
tried to draw him similar to the og Hazbin style except i actually gave him internal organs and im actually pleasantly surprised!
non-shaded, textless version just because i like how it turned out:
#yes i traced the hands shut up#the pose was kind of modeled off of a scene from Ready For This just because i thought it looked neat lol#my art#hazbin hotel#vox#vox hazbin hotel#he has been rotting my brain for the past month geT HIM OUT /j#edit: screw it im making this my pfp lol#edit 2: WGAT THE HELL THIS IS BLOWING UP???? UH THANK YOU I GUESS HKFFVHH /pos
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I have so many thoughts about the Touden family backstory comic portraying insanely realistic complicated family dynamics and the generational trauma that can come from hereditary neurodivergence (and the love that still persists in spite of the hurdles) but also like. Marcille's reaction to Falin off-handedly apologizing for her disappearance is a lot.
is it fine, Marcille?
is it really? are you sure?
#marcille donato#falin touden#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#i want to shake her like a chew toy.#girl your best friend and possibly the first person you opened up to since your dad died just disappeared and went no contact for four year#finding out that she had a good reason doesn't mean you're not allowed to be upset about it#she's literally screwing up her face like she's trying to keep the Bad Feelings out of her brain i hate it here#dunmeshi panel meta#marcilleposting
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I love the angsty boys with all my heart but stephanie brown and dick grayson are the most robin robins to ever robin. if you wanna be robin you've gotta be fun. the broody bunch aren't fun! meanwhile these two teamed up to sic the very concept of fun times and happy feelings onto a very broody fresh-out-of-assassin-school damian wayne which is objectively the funniest and most powerful thing in the world
#duke illegally co-opting the name and deciding to go after a major villain alone is also very robin#but so is saying “screw all of you I do what I want look at my cool original unique name that I thought of with my brain”#duke deserved the robin gang bc jesus christ does he have the spirit for it more than half of the actual robins#batfam#stephanie brown#dick grayson
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Twewy has many cosmically horrifying things hidden in the deeplore, but one of my favorites has to be that its a game about making honest human connections and characters that are closer to Heaven leech a vibe arsenic that slowly destroys your sense of humanity
#angels warp your sense of indaviduality and amplify negativity and isolationism#standing to close to a Heavenly Person can screw with your mind beyond repair and intensify every mental illness you have#bro WHAT#the way this series discusses its religious based world building scratches my brain in a Way#twewy#the world ends with you
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