#anyway. them. toxic yaoi. are they anything to you

[banemaus]

made a playlist and needed a cover and now i’ve got some sort of disease

[reblog-house]

i have watched ths entirety of parkour civilization today. PEAK.

ngl, since i was watching the movies, it was.... god it was repetitive with the goddamn narration of shit i'd just seen. BUT once i started skating to work and back, i realized how GOOD there being narration was SIMPLY for the fact that i could listen to it and still know what's going on.

still think it would've been much stronger if it didn't rely so much in telling rather than showing, but i did get a few good hints here and there for the future developments, so the showing was also good.

anyway seavbo what who said that

[ro-bee]

I'm sorry tumblr I don't have anything exiting to post here... I'm hyperfixating on goat's narinder ...

He's not even real and he's just my favorite *broken heart emoji*

Anyway thanks to my oomf Bunny to give me brainworms about them !!

More stuff below, description references (tw for scars, many scars...) and some suggestive stuff because I'm so insane about him

Brief description of him: he's the opposite of our beloved black cat so he's really friendly, kind and gentle. Me and Bunny are really abusing the "dogs are so weird, even if you hurt them they still love you" line... Wolf nari and goat's relationship is really complicated, that's all I'll say for now

Reference of the boy (with nari, and yes we're still rocking that toh reference pose) :

Ok so, if you saw my other references you might have noticed that wolf nari has something in common with my goat, it was Bunny's idea and I just went crazy about it so:

My goat's execution was absolutely gut wrenching (haha), something really traumatic that scarred them mentally; after coming back to life all they wanted was revenge for everything they've been through and for everything they've lost, they're not gonna stop at the 4 bishops they want all gods gone.

So, when it's time to meet again with wolf nari, goat is not gonna surrender and when they win and defeats the last living God they can finally free all their rage and do what was done to them to someone else, killing the last god, they went a little out of control... It didn't felt good like killing the others.

Smh toxic yaoi

Aaanyway

The suggestive stuff:

Good for them! Good for them!!

[rockwgooglyeyes]

Really, what CURE highlights is Ivan's sense of self- or lack thereof.

"you can break me apart"

"to quiet my fears, I'll drown in you"

"consume me, yes, me"

Maybe this is why, overall, I think Ivan wrote the lyrics more than I believe Till did. While we know Till to be a producer and lyricist, the content of the lyrics themselves are really what put that final nail in the coffin for me. I don't really believe that Till would have a desire for Mizi to hurt him, even in a romantic way. His affection for her seems far more pure than that, something where violence and injury are absent, something happy and bright where there are no worries. Mizi might be Till's reason to believe in the world and the future, as she shows him a possibility of goodness and happiness, but she doesn't seem to distract him from his own fears. In fact, his admiration of her from afar is a behavior that's an extension of his fears and insecurities, stemming from his superiority complex where people don't like him, it's because he's better than them and they know it. But not only that, adding onto that superiority complex, Till has a fear of vulnerability (or he just doesn't want to be perceived as weak) due to his traumas and I don't think that he would want Mizi to "break him apart." Then again I might be splitting hairs and I might be wrong. These are just my thoughts at the moment

Back to Ivan, though. He's . . . *sighs* his sense of self worth is pretty much nonexistent. He thinks very poorly of himself, he's part of the crowd who call him a freak and a pervert and a monster. He believes himself to be something wretched and broken, in need of fixing and yet, unfixable. He's just as afraid of vulnerability as Till is, ironically, but it's for a different reason- Ivan is afraid of laying it all bare and having someone confirm his suspicions that there's something irrevocably wrong with him. He's not insecure in the same way Till is, because he believes wholeheartedly that he's fucked up and that he's unlovable and that's how he got here. It's not Till who *needs* to love him back, or anything like that, it's Ivan that's the problem.

That's why "consume me" and "you can break me apart" and "to quiet my fears, I'll drown in you" are so utterly Ivan. Ivan would be happy to be consumed by someone he loved because that way, he's useful. He's sustaining them. He would be happy to be broken apart by someone he loves because that way, they can get their anger out on someone without any consequences, because he doesn't mind, he's happy to be the meat on their chopping block. He will use a person he loves as a distraction from his own doubts and fears because, hey, he already knows what's wrong with him but there are so many wonderful people around him, who he can help support. His problems aren't what's important because he doesn't have problems, not real ones, anyways. He can't compare to any of his friends, he has a guardian who doesn't actively physically abuse him, and he's famous. What more could he ask for?

Also I think the "sick of these nights to come" is in reference to the possibility of Ivan winning and being forced to live in a world without Till, a comparatively quiet universe. Anyayws. starred crossed doomed yaoi my belvoed. if anyone calls them toxic i will have questions because i want to know your reasoning and if i can dispute it because maybe im wrong!

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: ก่อนดอกไม้…บาน / 花开有时颓靡无声 / Meet You at the Blossom

Meet You at the Blossom is a 2024 joint Thai/Chinese adaptation of a Chinese danmei novel. Marketing itself as an "uncensored BL," it tells the love story of the world's dumbest boy and the absolute psychopath he has the (mis)fortune to fall for.

Note that "uncensored" doesn't mean you're going to see somebody's little blossom or anything like that. It just means that the love story is textual and canonical. These boys declare their love for one another. They hold hands. They smooch. They have soft, unfocused scenes where one of them climbs on top of the other and then everything fades to black. They are two boys and they are in love ... and sure, one of them thinks the other is a girl for longer than is probably reasonable, but what relationship doesn't have its share of misunderstandings?

This twelve-episode drama is a bodice-ripping melodrama with a bottom-barrel Harlequin novel plot. It is the most soap opera I've seen something that isn't a soap opera be. If you are the kind of person who enjoys this sort of thing, you are absolutely going to enjoy this sort of thing. If you're not ... well, it might still hook you anyway. Here's five reasons I think you should watch it.

1. Perfect toxic yaoi sludge

Do you only consume media about healthy relationships between consenting equals, where people have conversations and are always honest about their feelings? Great. Turn this off immediately.

Meet You at the Blossom is the show for people who yearn for the days of Kizuna. People who still think longingly about Zetsuai 1989. People who will not be convinced that Tokyo Babylon is anything but peak romance. People who have seen Gravitation more than once and of their own volition. People who have looked the trashiest yaoi out there dead in the eye and shouted BRING ME MORE.

I keep using the word "yaoi" because that's what it is. It's a gay relationship begun under false premises, consummated under sketchy circumstances, longed for despite serious reasons to stay broken up, and then all somehow worked out in the end. I have described the main pairing as, what if Wen Kexing fell in love with a labradoodle? Carried out to its logical conclusion, this relationship would be good for neither Wen Kexing nor the labradoodle. But for the purposes of a catastrophically badly paced twelve-episode series, it's all the dramatic fuel you need.

Nothing about their relationship is ever reliably safe, sane, or consensual -- and that's the fun of it! Look, the first time they fuck (in episode two!) is under the influence of sex pollen, and they come out the other side of it awkward but definitely not traumatized. I've seen people say they wish the show had treated the noncon bits with more gravity, which ... look, there's no noncon here. Actual noncon-wanters would be sorely disappointed by what this show offers. There's some impaired judgment and overblown irrational jealousy and aggressively pinning one's very drunk partner to the bed, but it's that kind of perfectly okay force fantasy that works in fiction, because in fiction everyone's okay with it. You know they're okay with it. The writer wrote it so they're okay with it. Everybody is getting exactly what they want.

This is a drama about people having Big Feelings that would be terrifying in real life, but are fun as hell onscreen. So you are promising me right now that if you watch this, you will not overthink it, because overthinking this show is like being that raccoon that failed at washing a piece of cotton candy. Don't try to clean up this delicate sugary mess. Eat it dirty.

2. Some fascinating faces

This is going to sound like such a backhanded compliment, but I swear it's not: There are some really interesting-looking people in this show! I can't swear this is because of the Thai production elements, but I have to assume that the different cultural beauty standards at work at least somewhat influenced the casting choices.

A thing about c-dramas is, the majority of the under-40 male actors look like their base model came off of one of the dozen or so approved production lines at the Pretty Boy Factory. While I enjoy these production lines, combine it with my natural touch of faceblindness, and I've had some hilarious moments where I have been certain two characters were played the same person, when they were in fact very much not.

This show is full of a bunch of actors you'd be hard-pressed to mistake for anyone else. There's like one guy who's conventionally c-drama handsome, while everyone else brings a lot more variety to the table than you tend to find in productions like this.

Li Le, when he's all done up as Zongzheng Huaien, is strikingly beautiful in a way that reminds me of old film starlets who maybe should've stopped about one nose job ago. I've seen pictures of him when he's dressed like a regular modern boy, and he's lovely, sure. But with the hair and the outfits and the constant haughty ice-cold stares he's leveling at people, the final look is stunning. And then he smiles and it's just the cutest goofy grin! Anyway, there's a whole big deal about Huaien's parentage, when the obvious answer is that the fey folk dropped him off and said, good luck with this one.

Meanwhile, Wang Yunkai, who plays Jin Xiaobao, has perfectly plump, kissable lips and a wide, soft nose that together with his giant eyes give him the perfect air of an innocent bisexual dumbass currently in the process of figuring out the whole "bisexual" part. He's so cute and cuddleable that you feel extra-bad when you see him in pain, which works for the show, because he spends a lot of the back half of the series being in both emotional and physical pain, as per conventions of the genre.

As for the rest of the cast, there's...

store-brand Huang Youming!

pouty Thai princess!

slimy kite dude and his terrible 'stache!

these precious dipshits!

...and a couple guys I just straight-up can't find pictures of, even though they're important named characters, because this may be the first thing they've been in? Look, this is not a show of well-known names, nor is it something that's probably to launch any careers to prominence. I'm not even going to say this is a show where everybody looks like everyday average people, because no! They obviously do not! They are very attractive people! They are just attractive according to a set of criteria you do not often see on Chinese television, and I think that's great.

3. You don't have to say NO HOMO every time you touch another dude

Really, truly, the greatest thing about an overtly BL property is how touchy men can be -- and not even the romantic pairings! Loyal servants get to hug their masters! Coworkers get to fall asleep in a two-man puppy pile! Childhood besties get to wrap comforting arms around one another! Brothers in arms get to catch their fallen comrades! Friends get to tearfully bid farewell to one another before leaving on journeys! Cousins get to embrace to the point one of the cousins really wishes they would stop!

Mostly it's that once you've removed the fear that gay shit might get your show censored, you can have your male characters engage in a perfectly regular amount of human physical contact.

Like, one of my favorite funny things about c-dramas is the amount of wrist-gripping that happens, as though dragging someone else along by their wrist is a real-life thing that happens often, or even at all. It's the perfect example of how paranoia about depicting physical intimacy leads to substitutes that are just bizarre. We can't possibly have these two people hold hands! So let's make up another gesture and pretend it's a thing people do voluntarily and (more importantly) heterosexually!

But when you've already outright put the YEP, IT'S GAY sign on your production, that paranoia vanishes. What are the censors going to do, get mad at the part where two friends are sleeping tangled up with one another? Three minutes ago there was a scene where one guy kissed another on the mouth! Let those boys snooze!

Alas that the scenes that are supposed to be sexy come across as mostly awkward -- largely because those two leads don't really seem all that keen on sticking their tongues down each other's throats, which, you know, I get; it'd be weird if I had to kiss my coworkers. But what they are good at is snuggling. I almost wish -- and keep in mind this is me saying this -- they'd cut the scenes that were trying to be horny and leaned more into the tender, playful moments they get together. Those are the ones that made me squeal happily and kick my little feet.

I have to mention this one: There is a little cheek kiss that I absolutely love. (I can't find a screencap of it, and my own attempts at screenshotting it were hilariously unproductive, but it gets played as part of gay flashbacks pretty much once an episode, so you can't miss it.) Huaien is being menacing in an attempt to be offputting, and Xiaobao is stubbornly refusing to be anything but charmed by it, and as soon as Huaien turns his head, Xiaobao takes advantage of the moment and plants a quick little mwah! on Huaien's cheek.

And it's SO GOOD. I said out loud, in that moment, do you know how many shows would be improved if one guy could just give another guy a little kissie on his cheek? It should be like how getting a PG-13 rating allows your movie one "fuck," but instead every c-drama gets one moment where a guy gives another guy a little peck. Not even on the lips! Like how Aragorn gets to give Boromir a farewell forehead kiss. Sometimes a scene just calls for a little kissie! Sometimes everything would be better if a guy could just kiss the homies!

You're thinking now of all the places you'd use your single little kissie in various dramas, aren't you? Yeah, so am I.

4. side pairs side pairs side pairs~

Yeah, main couple, true love, happily ever after, whatever. SIDE PAIRS SIDE PAIRS SIDE PAIRS [banging rhythmically on table]

You know the genre, so you know there's always going to be That One Guy that threatens to steal the pure-hearted one away from the psycho by being handsome, rich, well-intentioned, and generally emotionally stable. You also know it's not going to work, because no matter how much healthier that relationship would be, it's not the tasty toxic flavor we're going for here. Anyway, sorry, Su Yin, but you never left the childhoodbestfriendzone.

That bratty prince wants to fuck his cousin so bad. His cousin is not going to fuck him, not because of cousin status, but because the bratty prince needs to be tossed out the nearest window and not let back in until he can legally drink.

I was ready to ship Jin Xiaobao's two little guard buddies -- but no! The littler of the two guard buddies has his own love interest who shows up later in the show, and I'm so upset that there's not more of these two, because that's an unexpectedly hot setup. I'll say no more; you should enjoy this one as it happens.

Now, do not presume that this is a Kinnporsche deal, where fiction has created a magical world in which every man is at least a Kinsey 2. There are still straight men in this show (and a few men who clearly think they're straight but have not yet gotten the memo) who experience varying degrees of befuddlement about the homo drama happening around them. Most characters are at least casually anti-gay, but in sort of the same way you might expect a big cattle-ranching family to react if their son started dating a vegan -- it's not unthinkable or illegal, but, like, why?

There needs to be a word for a gentler state than homophobia. Something like homobefuddlement, a social condition where falling in love with another guy is about on the level of getting a face tattoo or naming your child Optimus Prime. There's nothing stopping you, but you know somebody's roasting your ass on Ancient Chinese Fantasy Reddit.

5. A budget of three dollars and a ham sandwich

I am firmly on record as being charmed by productions that make do with skimpy resources, and Meet You at the Blossom's resources are skimpy as heck. I highly suspect this is one of those situations where if they'd known it was going get the attention that it has, they might've put more money into it from the start -- but they didn't, so they didn't.

I keep coming back to "soap opera" as a description, because that's about the production level you should be picturing here. If you played this on a TV with motion smoothing enabled, the effect would be complete. Everything is done to the cheapest possible degree. Characters legitimately toss smoke bombs and disappear like they're anime ninjas, probably because renting a fog machine has got to be way less expensive than the rigs for wirework. That's the type of shoestring budget we're talking here.

The greenscreen is Not Good, my friends. I mean, not that you expected it to be, but however far you've lowered your expectations already, lower them more.

They got to borrow a brothel set for like half an hour. It's the most people you see in a single room at the same time, and it represents drunkenness by spraying raspberry soda over all the lights.

If I had a nickel for every time Huaien is in some terrible predicament that seems impossible for him to get out of, and then he shows up somewhere else like two scenes later, and we never find out exactly how he got out of that terrible predicament, I would have multiple nickels in my pocket, is all I'm saying.

You know, if my wigs/beards and wig/beard glue were that bad, I would simply refrain from frequent, intense close-ups of the parts where people's fake hair joins to their faces. And if my actors all had that much foundation caked on them, I would probably refrain from close-ups, period. But that's just me.

Actually, no, there's something else about the wigs: They're styled so badly that it actually wraps around (ha ha) to being charming. I'm used to wig situations where the topknots are combed tight and oiled into place within an inch of their lives. But here, everybody who has an updo has kind of a messy one? Especially little Jinbao, where you can see the ends of his ponytail stick out the back in a scruffy fashion, giving him the vibe of a little ragamuffin who's never learned how to do up his hair quite right.

There's a plot, sort of. It's basically the thinnest possible series of excuses for the action in the show to happen, told in occasional five-minute bursts of exposition given by characters you forgot about between now and the last time they appeared. Don't worry if you can't keep track of which prince is which, or who is whose dad. Man, there's even a "curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" near the end that's played up as some big shock, and I was like, have we met this dude before? I think pretty much every time the grownups started talking, we stopped paying attention. Look, I know this is based on a novel I haven't read, and I'm sure the plot comes off better when it's all packed together in a couple of pages of dialogue you can skip without consequence on your way to the boy-kissing, but in the show it just comes off as perfunctory and clunky. From what I've seen, people who've read the book tend to be way more into the intricacies of the narrative, but I haven't, so I'm not.

(Wait, in the novel, Jin Xiaobao is supposed to be fat? Well, now I feel I've been robbed! ...Eh, it's fine, I'm not sad to skip a sequence where the side benefit of trauma is that you get skinny.)

All this, to me, is charming. If you demand higher production values from your entertainment, this will not be what you want. If cozying up with some low-budget tomfooloery with a big heart feels like comfort food to you, you are among friends here.

And speaking of friends, let me strongly recommend that you watch this with some, if you can, because there are parts that are just begging to get riffed on. I would not have had a tenth as much fun watching it alone as I did goofing my way through it with my wife. It is a show that is only improved by the jokes you make about it along the way. It has no dignity, nor are you obligated to treat it as though it does. Cuddle up with your buddies, grab your favorite snacks, and sharpen your shadiest claws.

Want to meet this show somewhere?

It's conveniently up in a lot of places! Pick your poison:

GagaOOLala

WeTV

iQIYI

Viki

YouTube

Look, I'm going to say it one more time for the people in the back row: This is not a serious, thoughtful portrayal of healthy relationship dynamics. If you expect it to be, you will be sorely disappointed. It is a tale of a bunch of dudes (and, like, two women) whose emotional volume knobs are stuck at eleven and emotional intelligence doesn't go above a two. Go into it knowing what you're getting into, and you might just have yourself a pretty good time.

Get that little kissie!

[pr0cyon-lotor]

I would like to hear about your BingFan "slay the princess" au please <3

I'm going to rant so hard rn thank you for asking :D

(It's been a hot minute since I played Slay the Princess but I will replay it to write the fic. But honestly the plot will be different anyway so meh ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

Okay so the plot is based on a PIWD-like timeline, so it is quite dark because I am very weak to toxic yaoi. A lot of the things are similar but the most important difference is that Bingge became obsessed with Ming Fan for some reason.

I'm planning on making it that this Ming Fan had a bit of a stronger moral compass and did step in a few times whenever Shen Qingqiu was getting way too cruel to him. But Ming Fan was never a saint, he still did envy Luo Binghe and bully him. He just wasn't that bad.

That was enough for Bingge to become obsessed with the smallest hint of kindness shown to him by an authority figure. It doesn't change him for the better, it probably even changes him for the worse.

When later on he becomes the emperor, he does pick up a harem, but he doesn't even bed them and dangles the prosperity of being his "favorite" to manipulate a lot of them.

When Cang Qiong starts to crumble, he does take Shen Qingqiu hostage. Except he uses him to lure both Yue Qingyuan and Ming Fan. Yue Qingyuan falls the same fate, but Ming Fan doesn't he gets imprisoned instead.

Bingge tells him that if he agrees to marry him, he'll release Shen Qingqiu and cease his rampage on Cang Qiong. Ming Fan agrees and becomes Luo Binghe's empress and the only one he has actually bedded (the harem is NOT happy).

The thing Bingge didn't tell Ming Fan is that Shen Qingqiu is in a jar and dying and that Cang Qiong had crumbled while he was imprisoned. When he finds out, he tries to kill Bingge and then himself when he was unsuccessful with that.

Luo Binghe locks him in one of the towers in the palace and forbids anyone from entering. He delivers food to Ming Fan and forces him to eat when he refuses to.

During the usual routine, he finds Ming Fan dead. A pristine blade in his chest. He spends days trying to figure out who was responsible and ends up slaughtering a lot of the palace staff, his court, and practically destroying his palace.

He can't find any leads and because Luo Binghe's mental state was so dependent on Ming Fan, and decides that killing himself is the only option. Because while Ming Fan spat and cursed at him, he was still alive.

And this is all backstory. This is where the actual Slay the Princess stuff starts :) You're supposed to get snippets of the backstory in each route.

Luo Binghe wakes up in a throne room alone. There is no one around and everything is clean. He doesn't remember anything. Then two voices speak up. A narrator (Shang Qinghua) and a Heroic Voice (Shen Yuan)

The narrator chitters a nervous (obviously rehearsed) speech about how he's here to slay an empress. An empress that will end the world if let out. The heroic voice starts berating the narrator and then moves on with another (obviously rehearsed) speech.

Luo Binghe is prompted to go through the palace. He does and eventually reaches the door to a tower where the empress is supposed to be.

Depending on what Luo Binghe does, the empress will greet him differently and will determine what route he has.

All the voices are characters in svsss. (Tianlang Jun is the Voice of the Smitten because I think it's funny) Some of them will be resentful towards Luo Binghe and be snide and backhanded or some will be nervous and avoidant.

I haven't finished placing all the points yet, but I know I want

The Damsel route to mention Ming Fan's minor kindness towards Luo Binghe that caused the obsession to take root

The Prisoner route to mention Luo Binghe forcing the marriage onto Ming Fan with a false promise

I'm still working on the rest, but I want the ending to be the crows telling Luo Binghe that this entire loop was his fault. And the reveal would probably be something bittersweet.

I just think they're neat (I'm obsessed with their toxic asses) :D

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Propaganda:

For Orufrey: "They're tragic wlw who have devoted their lives to each other since they were kids. They live together, they cook together, they're raising four girls together and they're doing the best they can. Olruggio would do anything for Qifrey if Qifrey would just Let Him 😭 but Qifrey is dead-set on protecting Olruggio and keeping him safe and in the dark no matter what it costs... i cant 😭..."

"Man I don't know they just have the vibes. They have toxic yuri energy but they are two grown men. They've known each other since their apprentice days and have stuck together ever since. Qifrey's main magic type was something he took up because Olruggio proposed that he learned to control the water he feared. They live together away from most of society with Qifrey's four apprentices, living the sapphic cottagecore (ateliercore???) dream. Qifrey, due to the fact that his eyesight is very much failing, something which is very problematic when it comes to witches, who need their eyesight more than most, is getting very desperate to get all he lost to the Brimhats, the witches who took one of his eyes and his memories, and Olruggio ends up noticing this pursuit and is implied to have done this more than once. Qifrey does not want Olruggio to know about both his failing eyesight and his goals, so he ends up completely wiping Olruggio's memory of those things, and laments that Olruggio is a kind person, and one who would most likely forgive him again, but also one who would try to save him, even when he didn't want to be saved. He also apologized right up until the moment Olruggio's memories of his secret were gone. In general I think chapter 40 is the somewhat toxic guy yuri chapter ever. I'm very tired so I do not know how to explain any of this, I just thought "wow Orufrey reminds me of this one poll I saw on Tumblr" and then spent three days straight hunting for your blog before completely forgetting my reasoning for Orufrey being yuri right before I submitted this."

For Joongdok: "Well first of all Yoo Joonghyuk has a whole arc that is transfem coded as hell (has a power/technique that can technically only be used by women but somehow he can also use it, for a time he even turns into a woman to wield it and it's. Actually just let me get the quote "The ines of the face had changed but it was clearly Yoo Joonghyuk. No, it was even more than before.") that just kinda happens,, and doesn't get brought up again but anyway. Second of all just look at them. You see the vision. Also a bonus observation is that these two often get shipped in a poly ship with Han Sooyoung and whenever I see people make a "regular couple, yaoi couple, yuri couple, I see no difference love is love" meme with them the combination of which pair among these three is which of the categories is always different"

Note: This submission also mentions Han Sooyoung, but I decided to count this polyship submission as guy yuri as well.

"They love each other, they pretend they don't care for each other but all their actions prove they care too much, if you remove someone from the trio then the resulting duo is extremely dysfunctional, as evidenced by more than a million words of canon. Is it technically guy yuri? Well, Han Sooyoung is a woman, but in a way she's one of the guys. Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk are men, but the text heavily hints that Yoo Joonghyuk is a trans woman who's just too busy and stressed out to transition yet, and Kim Dokja has just never thought about his own gender a single day in his life. They made the world for each other, they went back in time countless times and waged countless wars for each other, they wrote and read and lived a story, their story, for each other and that's what saved them all. The way Han Sooyoung writes Yoo Joonghyuk's story to save Kim Dokja and loses herself in the process, the way Yoo Joonghyuk voluntarily lives the story to the point of losing himself too and even forgetting why he originally decided to do it, the way Kim Dokja read Han Sooyoung's story which was Yoo Joonghyuk's life and that's how he found himself, they all took so much from each other and gave so much of themselves to each other, this is all very yuri."

"they're so yuri you have no idea. they have every staple of a yuri ship. unwavering devotion. waiting dozens or thousands of years for each other. dooming themselves and the world for each other. so much yearning. i also see them genderbent a lot (including inn canon in the case of yjh) and they're right both of these people are women. i genuinely can't even see them strictly as men at this point they're just yjh and kdj and they are yuri do you understand."

"they're so yuri. the abscense of yuri is the presence of yuri etc etc. these two guys are all ABOUT abscenses. also one of them is a part time woman. the other guy is a guy but like in the same way a square is a rectangle. anyway they're so guyyuri to me. bonus points also because they have a mutual girlfriend and when she's present they're girlyaoi but that's not relevant to this specifically"

[straycalamities]

Hello, how are you

Why do you Like Entre and Swag?

i’ve been sick almost the entire past week but i think im getting better

do you mean as a relationship? ho boy. well, first of all, seeing as a lot of ships ive gotten into after it end up sharing a lot of similarities, i think its safe to say it became one of my favorite ship dynamics period

this got long fast

enemies/rivals-to-lovers isn’t anything new for me seeing as i dedicated, on-and-off, 8+ years to naruto and sasuke as one of my first hardcore ships that i still enjoy

and in general i just really like ships between characters who bicker and banter a lot (vash and wolfwood from trigun being a perfect example of this) but still being something more significant to each other than either of them truly realize until it sinks in either slowly or forcefully

and especially as i’ve grown older, i’ve gotten more and more and more interested in the intricacies and complications of having two very…hmmm damaged? i guess? personalities trying to find something that works because they need it to

which the other two ships have as well, but in a more “toxic yaoi” way, ya feel? LMAO like! hannibal and will graham from the hit show :) which that came after swagtre but it still stands as it got me to appreciate that aspect of their relationship even more than i did

swagtre is in no way synonymous to hannigram. hannigram is on a different level of delicious toxic yaoi, BUT it goes to show what ive opened up my ship palate to voraciously

even so, that’s moreso the early stage of their relationship, which is fun! but also not the whole story

i guess the main thing that initially drew me in was that i’ve always had a weakness for characters like swag. he’s so full of bravado, performative self-interest, defusing every little thing with a joke, and all the while coming off as a destructive idiotic selfish little brat. meanwhile the truth that resides is much deeper than that. that he does care, he just doesn’t know how, so he does his best which…is easily overlooked because he’s uncomfortable with being seen for being genuine in any way because it makes him feel vulnerable and blah blah this ain’t a swag study

but anyways truffula flu made me like him a normal amount! :)

then there’s entre who wears his heart on his sleeve moreso. he’s always been more honestly reactive, that’s why his mainverse it’s so fun to pick on him, and it didn’t get numbed by the apocalypse all that much. entres also a guy who takes things for face value at first. then there’s also the fact he used to have such a hero/senpai-crush on swag before the whole thing even happened and they’d even became pretty friendly acquaintances

and now he’s having to wrestle with the fact everyone who used to like him, hates him, except dave and bitter. and anyone else that might? probably dead. and of course! why wouldn’t they? his big mistake that cost the world

and swag is the loudest reminder of them all. forcibly inching and digging and clawing his way into entres psyche and mind until he finds himself using all of swags same words at himself during moments of self-hatred. self-hatred that’s been there all his life but now it has a burning world to reference. and swags voice mingling with his mother’s.

and entre may get defensive and bite back and try to turn things around on swag, but he can never truly say swags wrong. because he’s not! entre fucked up everyone else’s lives over a deeply selfish and shallowly thought-through decision. and even if swag is also a capitalist self-serving asshole, well he only destroyed his own environment, he didn’t end civilization as they know it

and that just makes it worse than the preachy “hippie” types that used to nag at him before. someone who’s in his same ilk is now berating him

and while entres never Not risen to rage-bait. he absolutely never took the phrase “don’t feed the trolls” to heart, he also has deeper reasons why with swag he always throws himself at the opportunity to try and defend or twist things, because it’s hitting him so much harder than everyone else (besides 72)

so yes, when swag keeps saying entres obsessed with him, he’s actually right! entre IS and has been since swag forced the jester hat on him and paraded him around camp as a spectacle. one that he can never truly deny that he deserves

i also think we should go back to entres pre-apocalypse feelings about swag because it’s important to note that entre wanted to Be swag. he looked at swag and saw the man he wanted to grow into. maybe less childish and gross, but the charisma behind it all, the way that even despite that, he had so many wrapped around his finger and every word

and the thing with early entre, is he always directly compared himself with other oncelers. sizing himself up against them and like…really it just makes sense right? to him, they were all iterations of himself, achieving and accomplishing or even failing different things. and even if at first the multiverse unnerved him, he started to use it to his advantage. i mean he got 72 to mentor him, he was lifting tips n tricks off others like swag, and he was directly taking notes on how Not to be off others (One, Bitter, Strangecase, Stone (sorry man ilu) and more bc this list is longer than the idol list LMAO)

so thats just more to really hammer in how intrinsic to entres identity swag became and it became more palpable in the worst way in truffula flu

this is all as an aside to the crushing guilt of his giant mistake itself but we all know how he feels abt that

and for swag, i mean don’t take my word here as word of god because i don’t THINK my theory here is confirmed to be canon, but im pretty sure he saw himself in entre as well. like it went both ways. and swag felt fear AND i guess relief? if that makes sense that it was entre instead of him. like this guy is very much Like him and any of them coulda done this, but it was entre, not swag. and that’s why swag is very insistent on not letting entre forget it, because deep down he’s terrified that it could’ve been him if entre hadn’t done it first

and so he looks down on him and beats him even further down as a way to kinda uhhh make himself feel better? except it doesnt. it never makes him feel better but it DOES make him feel not as worse as he could, or thinks he could if he just let the guy go after daring to make such a fool of himself in front of everyone

i think, as much as entre sees himself and how he wants himself to be in swag, swag sees himself in entre and what he doesn't want to be. and entre changes it to him seeing all the stuff he doesn't like about swag, the pieces of him he doesn't want to mimic because he refuses to continue to admit to himself that he still envies and looks up to the man swag is, because even at the end of the world, he's one of the few who seems to have something figured out that works for him. he actually seems to enjoy himself in this hell. he seems to feel free to find happiness and entre couldnt be more envious of that

but then as more and more people crowd into their camp, and they get to a baseline and learn the uhhh capabilities of their survival companions, they also learn to realize that they operate on the same wavelength the most even if neither of them admit it. obviously everyone wants out of this hell, but i dont think any of them tenaciously chase after that ambition as much as swag and entre do, for their own reasons

most of the rest of the camp has taken a sort of acceptance to the situation either in a pragmatic or pessimistic way. and of course nobody wants this to stay the way it is, but they don't have that sort of...all-encompassing fire to find a way to reverse their situations as much as swag and entre. i mean we did have bitter's optimism for a bit there, but he was doomed so like...what other option did he have other than believing in entre, but it was absolutely rooted in nothing. even entre knew that.entre especially knew that. bitter was deteriorating the fastest he'd ever seen it and if he hadn't been able to find a way to slow it down in the other ppl who took weeks to turn, then what was he going to do for the guy taking days?

so all bitter's optimism did was make entre feel sicker with guilt for everything and completely drove the little grip he had on hope into the ground. especially by making him take his first un-turned life. especially because, i think we have to address this here to fully understand why entre goes the way he does afterwards: bitter was never truly bitter to entre. bitter was himself. bitter was the likely future entre saw himself walking towards. out of every other onceler further ahead along from him, successful or aftermath or otherwise, bitter felt the most real for him

bitter was always his own failure even before it happened literally and live right before his eyes. that's always what he meant to entre even in mainverse/pre-truffula flu. that's why he made such a dedication to trying to butt his way into bitter's life. that's why he spoiled him and wormed his way into his heart, because he was trying to put that energy out there that one day, if this were to become literally his fate, someone would do this for him as well. or maybe he'd put enough good karma out there with doing this for bitter, that this wouldn't even become him at all!

that is exactly why entre was so stricken after his death. that's why it hurt and broke him so hard. he didn't know bitter long enough for his cries of "he's my best friend!" to fully be true. if anyone was entre's best friend at the time, it was 72, or dave, or his own mother. it was not bitter, bitter was his pet project. bitter was the poisoned dart that seared in striking him, and slowly ate at him after he was gone. bitter was him fully being unable to run from the consequences and culpability of his own actions. because now this was something that was clearly, unignorably, happening right in front of his eyes and now the blood was directly on his hands

bitter was his future self and his sealed demise that came with it. bitter was his destroyed future. bitter was his own mortality.

entre does come to realize something akin to this later on, but i guess i didn't make it understandable enough because i think a lot of people missed that this was the true narrative going on underneath the surface. which is my bad and on me, i could've done a better job, but ya. this was always my intention and it's a very key part in understanding why entre is the way he becomes and does what he does afterwards

which, back to swag, is his doing to entre. because swag does strong-arm him into and making him believe there was no alternative to entre killing bitter who swag DID, as anyone else did at the time, believe entre's statement that entre saw him as his best friend, but that also meant that was even more entre's problem to solve to him. and it's something entre finds hard to forgive swag for for a while after, even as his own guilt berates him for his own involvement in creating this fate for bitter, there's always that part of him that blames swag for forcing him to actually face the consequences of his actions. because, as most oncelers, entre doesnt like that very much LMAO

and yet despite it all, it still, in its own twisted way, makes him feel the most seen by swag. if that makes sense?? especially as 72 made it abundantly clear he was disappointed in him and didn't even seem to know who entre really was anymore. the survival needs and guilt had warped entre towards a vitriolic survivalist away from that bright eyed young man that he had taken in.

and then of course, nobody else really seemed to want to push a deeper connection with him at the time for this or that reason. so he had dave, who he personally saw as still just an employee so of course dave was with him and on his side, he had that employee loyalty. dave became his right hand, but that also meant that entre felt that he couldnt confide as much in dave because it's hard to explain but it's like...since dave was working FOR him, he didn't want to muddle it up with personal feelings to keep dave sharp. that's what entre thought at the time anyways

and so, for better or worse (mainly worse) who stuck around and kept nosing endlessly into entre's business and his life and burying himself in his side like a thorn he couldnt remove and absolutely couldnt forget. well that was swag.

in this sort of fucked up whirlwind...swag became the most emotionally significant person in entre's life. especially as swag started to show that he DID gave at least half a shit. and after their shouting matches that got swag to admit this little tip of the iceberg or that. entre did get to wondering what else there was going on underneath that. it became something he wanted to dig at to find out.

despite how they bickered and butted heads, entre always felt more comfy telling swag things he wouldnt or would no longer tell anyone else. swag's little bits of sympathy or lightheartedness became little crumbs of something that entre subsisted off of to keep going, because, despite everything, he still looked up to him. he still admired him and what he was capable of and what he could do. and how he didnt seem to let anything that was going on bring him down. he kept his shine.

and for swag (again not word of god here) i think he liked that entre DID butt against him. obviously he had fun with rocky and one. but (and this IS word of god/confirmed canon) they weren't as much his friends as he touted they were. swag struggles creating (and especially maintaining) close relationships. they make him vulnerable and they come with stakes and things to lose. so swag always kept his relationships fair-weathered and shallow. (aside from just not knowing how to be genuinely real and vulnerable with people in a way that COULD cultivate a close relationship) he sure did say and shallowly BELIEVED they were deeper than what they were, but deep down...he had an idea that were push come to shove...he wouldnt mourn anyone as much as your normal guy would mourn his true friends and he felt that it was mutual.

so as much as he ran away from it, swag felt very alone. swag always has issues with loneliness and that's why he throws himself from person to person and has to be the loudest and brightest and funniest in the room. and hey even if you hate what youre hearing and seeing, he's still got your attention. and that can be good enough when it comes down to it. (end of word of god/confirmed canon swag stuff)

but yeah i think that...not that rocky or one were yes-men or anything, but i mean they kinda just worked with his antics and like okay yeah here we go, swag stuff again yay(or nay) but entre always was fighting it. he didnt just accept swag entirely for this way or that, he was always critiquing, always challenging, always prodding back as strongly as swag prodded him. and i think that change of pace is what kept swag coming back over and over beyond the other stuff i said earlier

and like...as the guy at the center of it all, i think even swag said it himself at some point, if anyone knew how to get them back out of this mess it was him. and as swag said: he saw entre as a way better leader than him. even if it personally irked and annoyed him, himself when it happened to him. entre clearly had figured out his stuff and what he'd say had merit (just not with swag who always knew better for himself)

so if entre saw swag as the better leader for his charisma and weird optimism, then swag saw entre as the better one for his pragmatism and his knack for staying rational most of the time. i think that's also why entre's slip in lucidity bothered swag a whole lot because...if entre couldn't be the rational one, they were screwed. he'd gotten used to entre being a kinda...logical pillar to bounce off of, so if he was losing his touch with reality, that was going to doom the lot of them (even him). it's also with (word of god) swag's deep deep fear of abandonment so...if entre abandons his own senses, he's abandoning Swag and that Cannot Happen

this is a whole lot but its really hard for me to explain the why FULLY without dragging out all the nuances and complexities to their relationship because THAT'S WHY!!! it's SOOO complex and there's so many layers and nuances to everything that had to keep working in a certain way to go in a positive direction or else it all fell apart, as we saw, over and over

they both have so many issues that hold them back in ways and then theyre both so damn stubborn that it ended up making them even getting along as FRIENDS a damn slow-burn (and i am, always, a sucker for a slow-burn. one of my main weaknesses in a ship)

you can see they both end up wanting that, even if neither of them would admit it. but they both, as businessmen, saw their cooperation as fruitful for the success of themselves and the camp. it was just all this other baggage going on making it hard

so then we get the hospital. where rocky gets his harsh taste of the reality of their situation and he gets HIS humble pie of his own mortality, pushing him away from swag who remains reckless. and then entre, feeling ostracized from literally everyone and even having a hard conversation with 72 in the elevator, when it all comes down to it, and they seem doomed. he lets himself be weak and falls a bit into swag. and this is where it changes a lot of things for entre. this moment of weakness he was pushed into by fearing it was this or never.

because obviously they get saved and then it's swag losing his foot or getting left behind for zombie-chow and OBVIOUSLY the latter isnt an option so...entre makes that call and then cant go through with it because swag's fear is shaking him to his core in a way he never thought would happen. like he let himself get weak and it's immediately striking him in a soft spot that changes him for the rest of the story

i think it's here where he gets that kinda "oh..." deep deep down. that wow. yeah. swag is much more significant to him than previously believed. that leads into the hardware store where slowly and surely, swag becomes his precious possession. swag's the only one that believes in him. swag's the only one that understands him. swag's the only one he wants to be around. nobody can touch or harm swag but him. swag is his responsibility. swag is his, his, his.

and this is very very poisoned by entre's deteriorating state of mind and emotional health. the man is a long-coming disaster finally starting to collapse on himself. and the centerpin of it all is keeping swag safe and to himself because swag's the only good he sees right now in this hell of a world. swag's words become law in his mind. if swag says he has to be more of a leader, more assertive, he'll take that and run marathons with it. anything to make swag proud of him

because that's another thing is entre has just...always chased someone being proud of him or happy with him. or that he was doing good or whatever. a common onceler problem with the way that Once-ler Mama just Is but yes...it's always been a big deal for entre. he's terrified of failure. and he's terrified of disappointing people who mean something to him. so he'll do whatever it takes to make swag proud and it's not like the rest of thee camp know better than Him what's the Greater Good for them, of course. he's the leader. he's the one who created all this. this is his world and he knows everything about it better than anyone.

meanwhile swag's too fucked up on having his wings finally clipped after leaving off the high of true and total freedom for so long. that he has to stew with no escapism and let the reality of his life as it is now sink in. old ghosts start to catch up to him and new horrors start to sink in. that and the pain meds of course, but through it all, he's still operating on that trust he's placed in entre. entre's a weirdo, but he always takes care of him and spoils him as much as he can. and it makes swag not wanna question, not that he has a leg to stand on (ha) currently anyways when it comes to that. he doesnt know anything going on outside his door. and to be honest, i think that's the part of this shitty situation that he likes. he's clearly tired and been tired of feeling responsible for other people, but he also cant help himself because of his deep need to try and keep as many people in his life as possible because that means the ones that leave have a lot more replacements

but yeah obviously when he gets out and suddenly everyone is his responsibility again and it's up to him to be the hero (in his perspective) he puts entre in his place in the only way he knows how, but at this point...he's reached an understanding of entre and entre HAS become more significant to him than just a business partner. and he's starting to act on the parts of entre he can see in himself and so despite entre fucking up (yet again) he sees it as entre just trying to do what he was guided to in the best way he could manage and swag has little issue just being like ok you fucked up but who cares about that anymore

he has a better understanding on how entre thinks and what he wants (not a great one but a better one) and i think he knows that to endlessly punish entre and leave him alone would just make him way worse and so he decides to stick with him himself (i also think this is also swag's abandonment issues)

i don't think has very recognizable romantic feelings for entre at this point, but entre very much does for swag. so this keeps entre on his feet as much as it can despite the whole spectacle of it being something that'd drive him, any other time, to a long walk off a short pier. but it had to be a spectacle for swag because he had to show to everyone that hey hes here and hes the one fixing things! youre welcome!

but it's still a harrowing experience that strip entre down to the bone and he might be at his lowest he's been since bitter. maybe even lower, but then the prisma event happens and, if entre's event stripped entre to the bone, swag's stripped swag to the marrow

and if there's one thing about entre, it's fixing problems that aren't his own is one of the best ways to keep him moving. even if to anyone else, what swag's been doing this entire time for entre is the Absolute Bare Minimum, in entre's persective, with what he knows and observes from swag, it's worlds and worlds. so when the tables turn, entre feels like it's his turn to give back. and maybe the tables didnt entirely turn on their own, but entre pushed them to. he spun it.

swag was already knocked down a peg by losing his foot, but losing his emotional stability, his comfort, his optimism in this hopeless world. being abandoned by someone that was more dear to him than the others. that slammed him rockbottom. he stopped caring about if people liked him or not because why bother? they're all going to die or leave anyways. i think he knew sooner than we think that rocky was infected, and one was always him being purposefully obtuse. he knew what his fate was. everyone was going to leave him now. and he refused to care about it anymore

shoving everyone away and hermitting in himself. the same careful practices he berated and mocked entre for are things he'd come up with on his own. he was there to be useful now in a direct way. with practical ideas, survivalism, and physical labor. if there was no more joy or optimism, whatever. they were alive. and his joy didn't get to smile anymore so no one deserved to

i think it was the one-two combo of prisma and rocky that really did swag in because, even if i said he doesnt get Actually close to people, he still considered them his. like those are his people and he's going to lose them all. they're all going to leave him behind on this earth that he's been knew for a while fucking sucked shit, but as long as he got to have fun it hadn't mattered, but now he can't

and entre kinda...accidentally did the best thing he could've for swag at this time. he also felt alone, discarded, from the queen piece on the board to a pawn. and so he clung to the only thing he'd found reliability in over and over for better or worse: swag

in general, in this arc, i was working on him taking this giant blow to his ego as a humbling moment to have him kinda try to make amends and create meaningful relationships (or repair the existing ones) with the others in the camp, but being that he thought none of them wanted anything to do with him, his main focus was always swag. swag was the only one besides dave that he thought without a doubt, wanted him around in some capacity beyond being useful

and it's not that entre is a stranger to only being seen for his usefulness, so he bared down into that otherwise, but having tasted the high life...that's why he stuck to swag. he was back to eating those crumbs like addictive delicacies and they tasted even sweeter this time. they end up becoming very, very codependent on each other. they were before a bit too but here, especially so,

but with entre's tanked self-esteem (and it was already pretty bad before) and his sense of duty and taking responsibility, he takes to his role like a duck to water. but it's kinda...funny bc they both become both roles in a codependent relationship??? so it's like...codependency in its most truest realized form lmao

it's starts especially one way but then entre gets sick and it flips the other way, but entre's still trying to maintain the original set-up. this is also where their relationship becomes physical. from affections kept away from others' eyes, to deeper kinds of intimacy. i think with all that they've lost and are doomed to lose, they find their old coping mechanisms (which were never healthy or actually worked either tbqh lmao) just weren't cutting it anymore so then they turned to other things

with like...needing a more direct and physical and raw way to show each other they're still alive, still here, still significant to each other. swag initiates it more, i think, because while they're both on the asexual spectrum. swag's is demi. so this goes to show just how emotionally important entre's become to him, but also i think it's because of yknow...how he was raised. and for him it's more comfortable to do bedroom stuff with entre than kiss him or rub his shoulders. that stuff's "for girls" (too emotionally vulnerable)

and swag starts to show his care as more of...like a direct invasive thing. where he's not going to let entre abandon him too. he's going to somehow make him better and keep him here as long as he can. and entre's taken to rolling over for nearly everyone because he doesnt feel like he's allowed to stand up for himself and this includes swag because it's clear he's doing it because he cares so it's fine right?

and that's kinda where everyone's idea of them leaves off because we never got to go past that. so i get where people, especially those who aren't a fan of toxicity in their ships, would be confused why people like swagtre so much and even for me, as much as i love a good conflict in my ships, i think if this is all it was, i wouldn't be quite as obsessed as i am. because i'll be honest!! it made me sad quite a lot LMAO but i always did it for the bit (story) above all else. because while i wanted entre to say the magic words or do the magic thing or have the magic realization that would fix it all, that's not a good story

but it really is for the later story that i've gotten so caught up. even before we confirmed the Continued story i was always caught up and daydreaming of where this could go

and i just really really love the growth they've had with each other and how many like...jumps in their characters and stuff they've made with and because of each other. entre would not be who he is today in any iteration without some of the realizations i've made through swagtre and same with swag i know with good authority

and it's just like...it takes so long to get even where we ended it. and they have all these weird labyrinthine bullshit things to work through and against and with to get anywhere. and it goes back and forth. forward and two steps backwards so much. but it's just very interesting to study and even reread or reminisce on. and even think about ways it coulda gone differently idk...i just like ships that give me multiple multiple things to chew on and think about. i like to have a full course meal. no shade to people who like other stuff but yea..that's what i personally enjoy. the more complicated, the more difficulty and personal baggage and issues they have to work through to make it work, the better

and i can't say too much on where it's confirmed to go, because that's yet to be seen (smile emoji) but yes...it gets better and idfk i just eat up to people becoming super significant to each other in an apocalypse especially if they started off hating each other?? damn

and it's addictive seeing swag start to come more and more out of his shell. i say his moments of being genuine, vulnerable, real, and raw and caring were addictive crumbs for entre BUT BITCH ME TOO TF!!!

it drives me NUTS (SLASH HUGE POSITIVE!!!!) i love being a driving force to get to see aspects of a character we wouldnt see otherwise. knowing i had a hand in swag learning things about himself and revealing things about himself he would never in other situations...yum...that's the good shit

but yes so concludes my novel on why i like swagtre including i guess an impromptu summary of their relationship

if you made it all the way to the end god damn man...love ya

[daftdrac]

Took me like two months to catch onto the dp&w hype cause I've despised most marvel stuff majority of my life but whaddya know the autism finally latched onto the silly homoerotic old man yaoi. Anyways I'm seeing the movie this Saturday and the intensity with which I am constantly shaking increases as the seconds tick closer. I'm also seeing it with my friend who's a big marvel nerd and I'm actually gonna eXPLODE cause he's been giving me lore about X-Men and Deadpool stuff since I don't know shit ❤️‍🩹 I've watched the first dp and plan to watch the second either Thursday or Friday to PREPARE. Guys if you can't tell I'm superrrr Neurotypical the most normal person ever actually and definitely not obsessed with toxic hurt comfort old man superhero yaoi

(I don't care that neither Deadpool or Wolverine are technically classified as superheros it's marvel it's superheros.)

Uhmm. I've already done like an hour of research about wolverines (animal) and have many many many silly head canons for the old man (I gave him a tail) (idk Wade's freaky he's into furries or something canonically isn't he)

I've drawn them sooo much already and I've done a few chibi drawings and I'm currently drawing Wade as a pinup girl (his suit is cuntified) but uhhh it's ROUGH rn so no wip 💔 erm I'm not okay like actually. These idiots have taken over my brain in a matter of like a week. And my depression is also kinda flaring up so my memory is SHITTT rn I literally don't remember anything that happened the last 3-5 days besides shaking with anxiety after I spoke to one of my teachers and thinking about these idiots. My friends are starting to get tired of this ♥️

I should probably stop writing now this is already a REALLYY long post uhm idk Tumblr etiquette so idk where I should put the post cut off I'm jjet gonna hope Tumblr does it automatically if it doesn't I'm sorry I've been having so many thoughts about these guys actually I just needed to write some (like 6%) of them down

[nyoomerr]

Thoughts on Qijiu (as a ship or just in general?). I feel like when YQY or, rarely, the original Shen Qingqiu show up in your fics, they're treated pretty sympathetically, but I'm curious to know more on how you feel about them.

i've never really made up my mind about qijiu, tbh. toxic doomed yaoi VS tragic brothers VS two people who went through something awful together and since then have changed so much as people that honestly they really would be better off without being anything to each other...

in part my general non-commitment to a particular stance on qijiu is probably just a result of my general ambivalence to the characters themselves ;; i'll put my opinions below the break, so that no one has to see my lukewarm sentiments if they're keen on these characters (especially sj!sqq)😅

i often write yqy in a favorable light since sy!sqq likes yqy, but personally i think he's just... fine. i can tell i'm supposed to feel bad for him, but honestly i don't have a lot of sympathy or understanding for someone who feels so horrible about their own self that they then decide to... let somebody else act and feel horrible? i think he's got nice older brother vibes, but the fact that he knew about sj!sqq's abuse of his disciples and didn't intervene kinda cuts into his image as the 'respectable' one, for me.

for sj!sqq... he's a very complicated character, and an interesting character to me because of it. however, i love binghe VERY much, and in the end i just can't actually like anyone who is cruel to him.

at the start of my time in fandom, my opinion of him was just that: "he's interesting, but i don't really care to think about him very much because he was very awful to the character that i DO want to think about a lot." and because i didn't care to think about him, i also didn't care to tackle how complicated his character is - i honestly very frequently just used him as a convenient plot point for binggeyuan without really caring if it was OOC for sj!sqq.

but over time, i've seen a lot of sj!sqq fans who try to wash him clean in ways that feel very weird... as if there is this need to have him proven innocent of every single one of the crimes he was accused of, just because some of them were proven to be misunderstandings. in particular, i've seen this theory that sj!sqq only dumped tea on lbh because the tea was medicinal (??) and it was how he could treat lbh for his injuries (??) without breaking his character (??)... and i've seen this several times, from multiple different people, and all treated very seriously -- this isn't just one person shouting at the sky with this idea.

i guess, as someone who loves bingge when he's soggy and loves him still when he's insane and violent and awful, beyond just feeling like the fandom often misrepresents sj!sqq for the sake of turning him "likeable," it also just feels a bit cheap and cowardly 😂 like, sure, by all means, love that man! but, please love him while also looking the fact that he abused lbh in the eye.

anyway, so i guess tldr: i think sj!sqq is very complicated, and more often than not i just don't care enough about him to represent that correctly, but sometimes i see a take so Weird that it makes my teeth itch. 'raised by winter winds' was more or less the culmination of all of those moments - me going, "okay, let's just for once give genuine care and attention to how i represent this character, since if i want to complain about other people's misrepresentations than i had damn well better make sure i'm not being so careless with my own characterizations."

u can u up, no can no bb, and all that.

to circle back to your original question with all that context: i'm generally ambivalent to both yqy and sj!sqq, so i'm also generally ambivalent to qijiu or what form it takes. there have been a couple fics where i find moments that i'm really invested in them, because i do think that sj!sqq is a complicated and interesting character, but it isn't something i seek out.

[goodolddumbbanana]

[SUPERHERO AU] ASK AND ANSWER

Can you smile a little bit, Eclipse? You are making me look really bad right now, how unkind of you~~ (-Pre Dazzle-)

They two just beat the shit out of each other. Nothing new, guys, don't worry. I'm pretty sure Solar will get out, some way...

--- ANYWAYS, SOME FACTS:

- Sun used to call himself SUN when he still terrorized the world. He changed his name to The Kid napper after he met Jack and Dazzle.

- Solar hero's name is Eclipse. He is retired now, because the main threat (SUN) has disappeared but he still gets in front sometimes if something really bad happens.

- Earth is a billionaire, who is the daughter of Creator, the man that Sun has killed.

- Moon has his part time job as a scientist for the mafia. He uses them, of course, just to find someone.

1. Is Jack still Solar's son?

Yes. And he also has a terrible childhood.

Jack was born in a laboratory, an attempt to create weapons to protect humanity. Solar, as the earliest and most advanced Eclipse model who still remained, was responsible for the construction and handling of this pumpkin.

The project got cancelled because the head scientist disappeared, and Jack got scrapped, terminated right after that.

Solar doesn't care about Jack at first, (because reason related to this head scientist - Nexus) but seeing his creation just got thrown away and got saved in the hand of his hatred of the enemy (SUN) really changed his mind.

Luckily Jack got zero memories about that time and just grew up normally, like a good pumpkin that baby boy is. Until now....

2. Is Moon a parent in this?

Moon is still aroace. But recently, he just took on an apprentice named Molten.

3. What is Sun's tragic backstory? Why did he go ape shit?

Let's just say, something is not supposed to push too much. And also, Sun has no one, except Dark Sun.

4. What is Solar's power? What is Sun's power?

Sun is the nuclear bomb, the destroyer. He has the power of the actual Sun on his side. He is actually the one punch man in this universe. His magic is so powerful, he can just snap a finger and the universe just broke in half like a TWINK. No one can fight him at the physical level. The only way to stop him is to lock him down, and this, still not a good solution.

Solar has copy power. He can copy, absorb any type of power but only at the medium level and he can only forever possess this type of power if the person he copies is dead.

For example, if he copies Sun, he will have the power to fight God, as long as he keeps eye contact with Sun. But if Solar eats Sun, he will keep Sun's power forever.

Fun fact: Solar is super strong, has the ability to control machines, and change colour. (Fun questions, how many people Solar has eaten?)

5. Why did dazzle become a heroine?

She suddenly has power. She can fly, and also senses other emotions. (There are two people she couldn't sense anything from, her dad and that funky villain that she fight at night. )

Also, because Jack thinks it would be funny to be heroes.

6. Was Sun always a villain or did he start as a hero that turned bad?

He was just an assistant at first. He has no relation regard on the villain field, despite all people around him just ending up to be villains. Naive, easily to get startled, and optimistic. An idiot. He is still an idiot now, but with super power.

7. Why does he avoid Nexus' name?

Some people have stabbed his back. Nexus is just the only one he thought they would never do that to him.

8. Most importantly, what's the toxic yaoi ?

Anything happens between Dark Sun and Sun, anything happens between SUN and Solar pre Dazzle.

[prince-liest]

Hi! About your staticradio series (which is PHENOMENAL omg😍) - I know you said Vox is kinda falling in love while Al will remain aro. Which is awesome, we love to see rep! But I'm wondering if they will end up as QPPs (who fuck, lol)? Or it'll strictly be FWBs? Gah it's diffifult to describe it bc labels are so subjective and often too limiting, but I guess what I'm asking is whether they'll have an emotional relationship too, however it might look with their orientations? Will Al in particular have any soft feels for Vox & be fond of their unique bond? Even if Vox is in love with him when Al himself isn't? (I worry that would scare Al away😭) An intimate emotional closeness regardless of the specifics?

Thank you so much!! I've been enjoying writing it enormously so it always brings me a lot of joy that other folks are, too. >:D Just a heads up, this post has turned a little long because it got me talking about Alastor and the way he handles his feelings vs his ego in general.

First: I think the answer to this depends fully on how you personally define a queerplatonic partnership! I don't think Alastor would ever go for, like, a committed relationship with Vox in any form, but I also don't think that this would necessarily be a sad state of affairs for Vox, who I obviously write as poly as fuck with his toxic yaoi husband. Maybe it's because I'm aro af, but I feel like from Vox's end, "Yeah, I get to fuck around with the guy I'm obsessed with and he's not, like, nice, but I think I Stockholmed him into giving a shit about me!" is not actually a state of affairs he'd dislike! Especially since it's got that shiny "I'm special!" vibe in the sense that Nobody Else Gets To Get This Far With Alastor.

As for Alastor's side of things...

I think that so much of their dynamic dynamic isn't just set by Alastor being aroace, it's also set by him being a fucking sadist and a narcissist, HAHA. Like, he is very much in the middle of developing feelings about Vox, which (if my favorite interpretation of his little breakdown in the finale is correct) is also where his character arc is heading with regards to the hotel crew in canon, too, but his friendship-and-trust arc is slowburn as all hell and not entirely linear.

Part of the fun in writing Alastor is the process of qualifying all of his feelings with his sense of superiority in a way that is protective of his ego. He is freely and openly fond of people when that fondness doesn't expose any kind of emotional vulnerability in him. For example: He feels a condescending but genuine fondness for Niffty and Mimzy, whom he protects, and that's safe! He's quirky friends with Rosy, who is a benevolent semi-equal who uplifts his ego, and that's safe! He... may or may not have started caring enough about the hotel crew to have put himself at risk for them, and that is not only dangerous to his physical well-being but also massively humiliating, which is arguably worse to someone like Alastor.

He has SO many ego-prioritizing defense mechanisms and it's fun for me to pay attention to because I, too, am someone whose cardinal sin is probably pride. Anything is permissible only as long as it can be framed in a way that doesn't insult his ego.

Anyway, the point is: I don't think "soft feels and fondness for their unique bond" is on the list of ways that Alastor is able to find himself feeling about someone like Vox. The whole reason their whole situation in 666: Live on Air! started is thanks to Alastor's awareness and amusement at how obsessed Vox is with him. He sees himself as above Vox, and knowing that Vox is more emotionally invested than he is is part of the appeal. It's just gone from (derogatory) to (fond). (Which is, guess what? Safe!)

(It also means realizing that Vox is falling madly in love or whatever just nets a reaction somewhere in the region of, "Wait, is that significantly different from what you were already doing?", lol, because the only thing that's changed is the flavor of feeling, not the level of exposed emotional underbelly that he thinks Vox is showing him.)

TL;DR: He likes Vox like a cat likes a favorite mouse.

[ageravena]

You know what, the Fairly OddParents fandom has been quite tame. Let's spice things up a little bit.

Doesn't anybody else get that silly feeling when you see fanart of Peri being like a father to Dev, like... where's the rest of you 😍? Don't be shy, show us where Dale is. Or are you too scared? (I wouldn't blame you, I was too at first)

Small warning: this post includes slight swearing and many brain-numbing headcanons. I'm not responsible for any mental anguish you may experience

I would like to quickly apologize to the 6 people shipping Peri with Dale. I thought I was the only one but it seems like I've finally found my people. Anyways, back to the topic.

Now that you're here, I may as well show some more art of these two goobers +some silly headcanons. These are my AUed* versions of the two in my odd semi-realistic style that I completely ditch whenever I don't have the patience to draw faces (I often suck at drawing them. No wonder all my OCs are furries)

Note: him being slightly chubby and him having mobility issues are both headcanons I have shamelessly borrowed from others in the fandom. Also am I the only one who thinks Peri WOULDN'T be 6 ft tall? In the series he's like 5 apples tall, so wouldn't it make sense for him to be a bit short?

Note: there's like a bunch of lore explaining the reason why Dale looks so fucked up in my version. I scarred him for life, oopsie! But at least he has Peri now who "forces" him to go to therapy 😍. I may need to make a seperate post where I only talk about him and his past if I have the motivation.

I know a lot of you don't even know the pain of trying to convert a stylized character into a realistic style and still making them look good and kinda recognizable. I envy you who have less realistic art styles.

*And yes, I did say AU. More specifically I'm talking about the "Missionaries of Eden AU" (by me). I'm not gonna go into detail now, but basically it's a semi-biblical and more serious take on FOP, where the fairies are angels, anti-fairies are demons and pixies... I think they can stay as pixies, or maybe they're ghosts, bees? (There's a lot of things I still need to figure out) Their tasks are to work as missionaries on the planets of Eden (planets where life exists). There's a bunch of other lore (some of which I've explained on my casual/personal account on Instagram), but it's best I leave it for another time.

Btw: if you've seen me talk about a "Below the Stars AU", "Bible AU", "Ager DLC" or something else, it's all just the same thing. I just had a hard time coming up with a good name for it lol.

Also speaking of which, I have another post coming up (hopefully) where I explain my reasons for shipping Peri and Dale. It can honestly, out of context, seem like a toxic yaoi crack ship, but believe it or not but I managed to make it the opposite; plausible AND healthy. I want to enlighten you all plus I really want to yap about them.

It feels super funny to ship such a underrated ship. I'm used to shipping semi-popular ships, so to now be all alone feels kinda fun! They have so much potential and so few are seeing the vision?? Though to be fair I'm also glad it's not that famous lmao.

Ps. Ignore the fact I haven't posted anything here for at least half-a-year. All my mutuals are on Instagram, so I don't have a need to post here, though now I've decided to dedicate this account to hyperfixation slop so maybe you'll be hearing from me much sooner.

Ps. Ps. I currently have a 22-page-long google doc filled with lore and info about almost everything I've thought of for the AU, but it's 80% in Finnish so sharing it is useless.

Man, I love writing unnecessary long posts knowing I'm the only one reading them❤️😍 though if you HAVE gotten this far, here's a little treat:

My body refuses to draw Dale in his original outfit. I like to pretend Peri helped him change a bit (most notably taking off his goddamn shoes, though they do have some lore that I've created. GGHHRRAAA EVERYTHING HAS LORE ATTACHED TO IT GRRRR). Also Dev isn't actually grumpy, he just likes to act tough.

My art style looks probably so inconsistent❤️

[moonlit-dreamers]

Idk if you've been asked this before but

Opinion on SolRuin?

solruin was one of the first things i Actively shipped (besides kidscove) (other stuff was more passive and i was too shy to say anything fgdjfghgf) tho currently its more passive

i really liked how cute and fluffy it could be if we went with the whole "cured" ruin plot. solar trying to defend someone that nobody believed was safe which then leads to a bond between them. strangers to friends to lovers or something idk lol. plus theyd be SUCH boyfailures together. theyd be SHIT at being affectionate without exploding every 5 seconds.

then turns out ruin killed solar so then we have TRAGIC yaoi. i remember a lot of ppl stopped shipping them when that happened and i just sat there like "you cowards. you cant defy canon and continue making the robots gay? weak." like idk man canon is like the bible (this is the first comparison that came to mind dont judge me </3) you can choose to follow it or fuck off to your own religion idk man just have fun

now these thoughts were more recent but imma share them anyway which would make them TOXIC yaoi. i like putting the toxic in my yaoi for some extra flavor <3 something something solar being a naturally trusting person clinging onto ruin and ruin being able to easily manipulate him and convince him that the way ruin loves him is the best he'll get and so he lets ruin use him and even physically take him apart for parts of the machine hes making. so then at the very end when ruin Does kill solar solar has to question if what it was was even real. and in a way it was. ruin loved him like a tool. he was reliable. but he was not loved as a person.

it should be known by now that i cant stop ships from becoming toxic 😔 i touch them and they become poisonous and solruin isnt safe either.

[circus-complex]

shen jiu + shen yuan swap au idea

ok so an AU when shen yuan is the original owner of shen jiu's body, and shen jiu is the og owner of shen yuan's body.

shen yuan went through everything shen jiu did, but instead of taking on a "I went through something horrible, and since you are similar to me i'll make you feel the same" view for luo binghe, he takes on a "I went through something horrible, and since you are similar i'll make sure you never feel this way"

this makes luo binghe develop a crush on him a bit earlier, and luo binghe is generally more stable. sqq is known for being kind, forgiving, and generous. he treats all his disciples well, and equally. he has a good relationship with most, if not all, the peak lords.

shen jiu reads PIDW, but unlike sy who fawned over lbh, he hates him. hates him with every fiber of his being. he isn't even sure why, lbh just pisses him off in every way. most of the characters do, actually. only nyy is good! lbh should of ended up with her, or shl, or any of the girls! he would of loved it if lbh built a harem up! but no. he ended up with his stupid teacher. and yqy - he likes him.

i have two ways to take this idea

Option A: so when sj transmigrates, everyone is confused, but in a new way. his complements, which used to be kind, now have a slight edge to them. he treats lbh with such hatred, he develops a grudge with lqg, he favors mf and nyy (mostly nyy). and once he unfreezes the OOC feature OH BOY! in the og book sqq would protect lbh when the ridge opens, but lbh falls anyway, and sqq mourns him for five years. this time however, sj pushes lbh in himself.

naturally, lbh has no clue whats going on. at first, he thought sqq just was in a bad mood bc of his fever, but then it started to seem personal. sqq would beat him, verbally and physically. what happened? so lbh goes down this other path, one where he blames himself for everything and works his ass of to please sj, possibly dying in the process. if he doesn't, he's just miserable and has unintentionally become sj's unstable minion, doing everything he can to please him but always failing. in the end, lbh kills himself and sj after he's driven to a qi deviation

Option B: same thing as option a, only sj plays the role of sqq MUCH better. he is kind, but is secretly planning to take lbh down. he follows the course of the book, winning lbh's favour, unfreezes the OOC function, and slowly becomes a little meaner. but he molds lbh to be his. in a cruel, twisted, jealous, slightly romantic way. he molds him to follow his every order. molds him to the perfect for his plans. molds him to hate his sect, but love sj. helps him uncover his demonic heritage under the mask of wanting his disciple to be true to himself and discover his full potential!, but secretly wanting to use it to his advantage. and he does.

he succeeds, taking down most of cang qiong, leaving only him, lbh, nyy, yqy, and sqh. he left nyy and yqy because he adored them in his past life, and sqh because he wants to torture him for all eternity for making that book (sucks tho bc sqh has mbj on his side so he can't do anything till he gets lbh to take mbj down). so yea. sj is just pulling lbh's strings behind the scenes, even going so far as too get married and do everything with him if it gains him another advantage. he's extremely emotionally manipulative, and he's smart enough to be subtle about it so no one will notice. and it kinda just ends with lbh being his puppet. lbh may be the head of the world, but sj is the neck turning his different ways. and so yea super toxic yaoi

[waterfowl69]

bell stuff

"Is it better to grieve what you lost or to not know you had anything to lose" - this is something my friend said when I was brain rotting about Bell one night and I genuinely don't think I will ever get over it.

Something that I'm going to try and talk about on here are my head canons and just general thoughts for different characters so it's only natural to talk about Bell. something that I think about a lot when it comes to Bell is the one sided/unrequited love trope between Bell and Adler. They have such an interesting dynamic and the fact that to Bell, Adler is their EVERYTHING is something I always get really hung up on. To me Bell and Adler's relationship is VERY "Somethin' Stupid" by Frank Sinatra. Bell spends their days following Adler around like a lost puppy. They are simply nothing without Adler's commands and unknowingly cannot help but *love* Adler because of this fabricated bond. I don't think that Bell would ever notice how easily Adler gets snappy with them, or how just generally hostile he is. I believe that every time Bell had a nightmare or couldn't sleep they immediately went to Adler opposed to Sims or Park. Every time Bell needed something they went to Adler no matter the time of day, or how big or small the ask was. Because of Bell's false friendship with Adler (Bell LITERALLY being made to believe that Adler was their best friend) I think that bothers Adler to an unreasonable extent; in the terms of Somethin' Stupid because I really love toxic yaoi, I just need Bell misinterpreting Adler's unusually kind acts as acts of love opposed to things hes doing to "get the job done," and in return Adler just genuinely hating Bell.

Anyway, due to the brain washing and conditioning Bell getting fed false memories of doing things with Alder to "strengthen their bond," to Bell Adler is genuinely their best friend - and it doesn't matter if this is platonic or stems into something more because I genuinely believe that Adler would despise Bell for it either way.

I believe that Adler is a generally spiteful man, no matter the scenario. So when you place him into the position where he has to "befriend" and "work with" a known communist terrorist?? Who was VERY high up in Perseus' ranks?? Naturally Adler is going to see Bell as scum and that fact is so important to me. I think that this would prevent Adler from forming any actual bond with Bell which is why he didn't hesitate after the Cuba mission to potentially make Bell overdose (just generally having zero regard for their safety), and why he so easily killed Bell during the Solovetsky ending. (If we take the Duga endings into account, Adler kills Bell and feels nothing but anger knowing that he was right in believing they were scum, and he tries to do the same in the Revenge ending but doesn't succeed.) This dynamic of Bell being dependent on Adler, and Adler hating Bell for existing is something that drives me insane.

It is the fact that at the end of the day, Bell is a fundamentally good person. That upon erasing everything they were, in the canon ending, Bell chose to tell the truth. And I think that is something Adler can't handle. Despite it all, Bell was a good person. Which is why a "happy" Solovetsky ending is something that actually ruined my life LMAO. No matter what, at least one of their guns went off and lets just say hypothetically neither of them got fatally wounded. You now have Adler, a man who despises Bell and failed to 'take out the trash,' and Bell, who can't even fathom why Adler would pull a gun on them in the first place. But with that, you also have a Bell who would be incapable of integrating back into society. Bell is someone who doesn't even know their own name, let alone their mother's face, the town they grew up in, how old they are, their favorite food, and anything else the CIA thought was unimportant when they erased Bell's identity. Realistically how could Bell ever recover from that? Bell has legitimate PTSD, not only from MKUltura, but from Vietnam; a country they never stepped foot in. Bell would still have that dependency on Adler to tell them what the next step is; "We have a job to do," is such a daunting phrase for a post-Solovetsky era Bell. A Bell where they lack all senses of individuality, and are absolutely terrified to do and decide things for themselves is so unbelievably real to me.

I know this has gotten a lot less well worded and more ramble-ish BUT the quote from the beginning of this post: "Is it better to grieve what you lost or to not know you had anything to lose?" Is it better for Bell to have died on the cliff in Solovetsky, not having the time to fully realize the extent of the gaps in their memory. Or for Bell to live and try to recover? Just. The idea that Adler did Bell a favor in killing them, that it was his one act of remorse rather than revenge fills my stomach with dread.

Okay that's all thank you.