#anyway. them. toxic yaoi. are they anything to you

[banemaus]

made a playlist and needed a cover and now i’ve got some sort of disease

[rockwgooglyeyes]

Really, what CURE highlights is Ivan's sense of self- or lack thereof.

"you can break me apart"

"to quiet my fears, I'll drown in you"

"consume me, yes, me"

Maybe this is why, overall, I think Ivan wrote the lyrics more than I believe Till did. While we know Till to be a producer and lyricist, the content of the lyrics themselves are really what put that final nail in the coffin for me. I don't really believe that Till would have a desire for Mizi to hurt him, even in a romantic way. His affection for her seems far more pure than that, something where violence and injury are absent, something happy and bright where there are no worries. Mizi might be Till's reason to believe in the world and the future, as she shows him a possibility of goodness and happiness, but she doesn't seem to distract him from his own fears. In fact, his admiration of her from afar is a behavior that's an extension of his fears and insecurities, stemming from his superiority complex where people don't like him, it's because he's better than them and they know it. But not only that, adding onto that superiority complex, Till has a fear of vulnerability (or he just doesn't want to be perceived as weak) due to his traumas and I don't think that he would want Mizi to "break him apart." Then again I might be splitting hairs and I might be wrong. These are just my thoughts at the moment

Back to Ivan, though. He's . . . *sighs* his sense of self worth is pretty much nonexistent. He thinks very poorly of himself, he's part of the crowd who call him a freak and a pervert and a monster. He believes himself to be something wretched and broken, in need of fixing and yet, unfixable. He's just as afraid of vulnerability as Till is, ironically, but it's for a different reason- Ivan is afraid of laying it all bare and having someone confirm his suspicions that there's something irrevocably wrong with him. He's not insecure in the same way Till is, because he believes wholeheartedly that he's fucked up and that he's unlovable and that's how he got here. It's not Till who *needs* to love him back, or anything like that, it's Ivan that's the problem.

That's why "consume me" and "you can break me apart" and "to quiet my fears, I'll drown in you" are so utterly Ivan. Ivan would be happy to be consumed by someone he loved because that way, he's useful. He's sustaining them. He would be happy to be broken apart by someone he loves because that way, they can get their anger out on someone without any consequences, because he doesn't mind, he's happy to be the meat on their chopping block. He will use a person he loves as a distraction from his own doubts and fears because, hey, he already knows what's wrong with him but there are so many wonderful people around him, who he can help support. His problems aren't what's important because he doesn't have problems, not real ones, anyways. He can't compare to any of his friends, he has a guardian who doesn't actively physically abuse him, and he's famous. What more could he ask for?

Also I think the "sick of these nights to come" is in reference to the possibility of Ivan winning and being forced to live in a world without Till, a comparatively quiet universe. Anyayws. starred crossed doomed yaoi my belvoed. if anyone calls them toxic i will have questions because i want to know your reasoning and if i can dispute it because maybe im wrong!

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Propaganda:

For Orufrey: "They're tragic wlw who have devoted their lives to each other since they were kids. They live together, they cook together, they're raising four girls together and they're doing the best they can. Olruggio would do anything for Qifrey if Qifrey would just Let Him 😭 but Qifrey is dead-set on protecting Olruggio and keeping him safe and in the dark no matter what it costs... i cant 😭..."

"Man I don't know they just have the vibes. They have toxic yuri energy but they are two grown men. They've known each other since their apprentice days and have stuck together ever since. Qifrey's main magic type was something he took up because Olruggio proposed that he learned to control the water he feared. They live together away from most of society with Qifrey's four apprentices, living the sapphic cottagecore (ateliercore???) dream. Qifrey, due to the fact that his eyesight is very much failing, something which is very problematic when it comes to witches, who need their eyesight more than most, is getting very desperate to get all he lost to the Brimhats, the witches who took one of his eyes and his memories, and Olruggio ends up noticing this pursuit and is implied to have done this more than once. Qifrey does not want Olruggio to know about both his failing eyesight and his goals, so he ends up completely wiping Olruggio's memory of those things, and laments that Olruggio is a kind person, and one who would most likely forgive him again, but also one who would try to save him, even when he didn't want to be saved. He also apologized right up until the moment Olruggio's memories of his secret were gone. In general I think chapter 40 is the somewhat toxic guy yuri chapter ever. I'm very tired so I do not know how to explain any of this, I just thought "wow Orufrey reminds me of this one poll I saw on Tumblr" and then spent three days straight hunting for your blog before completely forgetting my reasoning for Orufrey being yuri right before I submitted this."

For Joongdok: "Well first of all Yoo Joonghyuk has a whole arc that is transfem coded as hell (has a power/technique that can technically only be used by women but somehow he can also use it, for a time he even turns into a woman to wield it and it's. Actually just let me get the quote "The ines of the face had changed but it was clearly Yoo Joonghyuk. No, it was even more than before.") that just kinda happens,, and doesn't get brought up again but anyway. Second of all just look at them. You see the vision. Also a bonus observation is that these two often get shipped in a poly ship with Han Sooyoung and whenever I see people make a "regular couple, yaoi couple, yuri couple, I see no difference love is love" meme with them the combination of which pair among these three is which of the categories is always different"

Note: This submission also mentions Han Sooyoung, but I decided to count this polyship submission as guy yuri as well.

"They love each other, they pretend they don't care for each other but all their actions prove they care too much, if you remove someone from the trio then the resulting duo is extremely dysfunctional, as evidenced by more than a million words of canon. Is it technically guy yuri? Well, Han Sooyoung is a woman, but in a way she's one of the guys. Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk are men, but the text heavily hints that Yoo Joonghyuk is a trans woman who's just too busy and stressed out to transition yet, and Kim Dokja has just never thought about his own gender a single day in his life. They made the world for each other, they went back in time countless times and waged countless wars for each other, they wrote and read and lived a story, their story, for each other and that's what saved them all. The way Han Sooyoung writes Yoo Joonghyuk's story to save Kim Dokja and loses herself in the process, the way Yoo Joonghyuk voluntarily lives the story to the point of losing himself too and even forgetting why he originally decided to do it, the way Kim Dokja read Han Sooyoung's story which was Yoo Joonghyuk's life and that's how he found himself, they all took so much from each other and gave so much of themselves to each other, this is all very yuri."

"they're so yuri you have no idea. they have every staple of a yuri ship. unwavering devotion. waiting dozens or thousands of years for each other. dooming themselves and the world for each other. so much yearning. i also see them genderbent a lot (including inn canon in the case of yjh) and they're right both of these people are women. i genuinely can't even see them strictly as men at this point they're just yjh and kdj and they are yuri do you understand."

"they're so yuri. the abscense of yuri is the presence of yuri etc etc. these two guys are all ABOUT abscenses. also one of them is a part time woman. the other guy is a guy but like in the same way a square is a rectangle. anyway they're so guyyuri to me. bonus points also because they have a mutual girlfriend and when she's present they're girlyaoi but that's not relevant to this specifically"

[daftdrac]

Took me like two months to catch onto the dp&w hype cause I've despised most marvel stuff majority of my life but whaddya know the autism finally latched onto the silly homoerotic old man yaoi. Anyways I'm seeing the movie this Saturday and the intensity with which I am constantly shaking increases as the seconds tick closer. I'm also seeing it with my friend who's a big marvel nerd and I'm actually gonna eXPLODE cause he's been giving me lore about X-Men and Deadpool stuff since I don't know shit ❤️‍🩹 I've watched the first dp and plan to watch the second either Thursday or Friday to PREPARE. Guys if you can't tell I'm superrrr Neurotypical the most normal person ever actually and definitely not obsessed with toxic hurt comfort old man superhero yaoi

(I don't care that neither Deadpool or Wolverine are technically classified as superheros it's marvel it's superheros.)

Uhmm. I've already done like an hour of research about wolverines (animal) and have many many many silly head canons for the old man (I gave him a tail) (idk Wade's freaky he's into furries or something canonically isn't he)

I've drawn them sooo much already and I've done a few chibi drawings and I'm currently drawing Wade as a pinup girl (his suit is cuntified) but uhhh it's ROUGH rn so no wip 💔 erm I'm not okay like actually. These idiots have taken over my brain in a matter of like a week. And my depression is also kinda flaring up so my memory is SHITTT rn I literally don't remember anything that happened the last 3-5 days besides shaking with anxiety after I spoke to one of my teachers and thinking about these idiots. My friends are starting to get tired of this ♥️

I should probably stop writing now this is already a REALLYY long post uhm idk Tumblr etiquette so idk where I should put the post cut off I'm jjet gonna hope Tumblr does it automatically if it doesn't I'm sorry I've been having so many thoughts about these guys actually I just needed to write some (like 6%) of them down

[prince-liest]

Hi! About your staticradio series (which is PHENOMENAL omg😍) - I know you said Vox is kinda falling in love while Al will remain aro. Which is awesome, we love to see rep! But I'm wondering if they will end up as QPPs (who fuck, lol)? Or it'll strictly be FWBs? Gah it's diffifult to describe it bc labels are so subjective and often too limiting, but I guess what I'm asking is whether they'll have an emotional relationship too, however it might look with their orientations? Will Al in particular have any soft feels for Vox & be fond of their unique bond? Even if Vox is in love with him when Al himself isn't? (I worry that would scare Al away😭) An intimate emotional closeness regardless of the specifics?

Thank you so much!! I've been enjoying writing it enormously so it always brings me a lot of joy that other folks are, too. >:D Just a heads up, this post has turned a little long because it got me talking about Alastor and the way he handles his feelings vs his ego in general.

First: I think the answer to this depends fully on how you personally define a queerplatonic partnership! I don't think Alastor would ever go for, like, a committed relationship with Vox in any form, but I also don't think that this would necessarily be a sad state of affairs for Vox, who I obviously write as poly as fuck with his toxic yaoi husband. Maybe it's because I'm aro af, but I feel like from Vox's end, "Yeah, I get to fuck around with the guy I'm obsessed with and he's not, like, nice, but I think I Stockholmed him into giving a shit about me!" is not actually a state of affairs he'd dislike! Especially since it's got that shiny "I'm special!" vibe in the sense that Nobody Else Gets To Get This Far With Alastor.

As for Alastor's side of things...

I think that so much of their dynamic dynamic isn't just set by Alastor being aroace, it's also set by him being a fucking sadist and a narcissist, HAHA. Like, he is very much in the middle of developing feelings about Vox, which (if my favorite interpretation of his little breakdown in the finale is correct) is also where his character arc is heading with regards to the hotel crew in canon, too, but his friendship-and-trust arc is slowburn as all hell and not entirely linear.

Part of the fun in writing Alastor is the process of qualifying all of his feelings with his sense of superiority in a way that is protective of his ego. He is freely and openly fond of people when that fondness doesn't expose any kind of emotional vulnerability in him. For example: He feels a condescending but genuine fondness for Niffty and Mimzy, whom he protects, and that's safe! He's quirky friends with Rosy, who is a benevolent semi-equal who uplifts his ego, and that's safe! He... may or may not have started caring enough about the hotel crew to have put himself at risk for them, and that is not only dangerous to his physical well-being but also massively humiliating, which is arguably worse to someone like Alastor.

He has SO many ego-prioritizing defense mechanisms and it's fun for me to pay attention to because I, too, am someone whose cardinal sin is probably pride. Anything is permissible only as long as it can be framed in a way that doesn't insult his ego.

Anyway, the point is: I don't think "soft feels and fondness for their unique bond" is on the list of ways that Alastor is able to find himself feeling about someone like Vox. The whole reason their whole situation in 666: Live on Air! started is thanks to Alastor's awareness and amusement at how obsessed Vox is with him. He sees himself as above Vox, and knowing that Vox is more emotionally invested than he is is part of the appeal. It's just gone from (derogatory) to (fond). (Which is, guess what? Safe!)

(It also means realizing that Vox is falling madly in love or whatever just nets a reaction somewhere in the region of, "Wait, is that significantly different from what you were already doing?", lol, because the only thing that's changed is the flavor of feeling, not the level of exposed emotional underbelly that he thinks Vox is showing him.)

TL;DR: He likes Vox like a cat likes a favorite mouse.

[circus-complex]

shen jiu + shen yuan swap au idea

ok so an AU when shen yuan is the original owner of shen jiu's body, and shen jiu is the og owner of shen yuan's body.

shen yuan went through everything shen jiu did, but instead of taking on a "I went through something horrible, and since you are similar to me i'll make you feel the same" view for luo binghe, he takes on a "I went through something horrible, and since you are similar i'll make sure you never feel this way"

this makes luo binghe develop a crush on him a bit earlier, and luo binghe is generally more stable. sqq is known for being kind, forgiving, and generous. he treats all his disciples well, and equally. he has a good relationship with most, if not all, the peak lords.

shen jiu reads PIDW, but unlike sy who fawned over lbh, he hates him. hates him with every fiber of his being. he isn't even sure why, lbh just pisses him off in every way. most of the characters do, actually. only nyy is good! lbh should of ended up with her, or shl, or any of the girls! he would of loved it if lbh built a harem up! but no. he ended up with his stupid teacher. and yqy - he likes him.

i have two ways to take this idea

Option A: so when sj transmigrates, everyone is confused, but in a new way. his complements, which used to be kind, now have a slight edge to them. he treats lbh with such hatred, he develops a grudge with lqg, he favors mf and nyy (mostly nyy). and once he unfreezes the OOC feature OH BOY! in the og book sqq would protect lbh when the ridge opens, but lbh falls anyway, and sqq mourns him for five years. this time however, sj pushes lbh in himself.

naturally, lbh has no clue whats going on. at first, he thought sqq just was in a bad mood bc of his fever, but then it started to seem personal. sqq would beat him, verbally and physically. what happened? so lbh goes down this other path, one where he blames himself for everything and works his ass of to please sj, possibly dying in the process. if he doesn't, he's just miserable and has unintentionally become sj's unstable minion, doing everything he can to please him but always failing. in the end, lbh kills himself and sj after he's driven to a qi deviation

Option B: same thing as option a, only sj plays the role of sqq MUCH better. he is kind, but is secretly planning to take lbh down. he follows the course of the book, winning lbh's favour, unfreezes the OOC function, and slowly becomes a little meaner. but he molds lbh to be his. in a cruel, twisted, jealous, slightly romantic way. he molds him to follow his every order. molds him to the perfect for his plans. molds him to hate his sect, but love sj. helps him uncover his demonic heritage under the mask of wanting his disciple to be true to himself and discover his full potential!, but secretly wanting to use it to his advantage. and he does.

he succeeds, taking down most of cang qiong, leaving only him, lbh, nyy, yqy, and sqh. he left nyy and yqy because he adored them in his past life, and sqh because he wants to torture him for all eternity for making that book (sucks tho bc sqh has mbj on his side so he can't do anything till he gets lbh to take mbj down). so yea. sj is just pulling lbh's strings behind the scenes, even going so far as too get married and do everything with him if it gains him another advantage. he's extremely emotionally manipulative, and he's smart enough to be subtle about it so no one will notice. and it kinda just ends with lbh being his puppet. lbh may be the head of the world, but sj is the neck turning his different ways. and so yea super toxic yaoi

[waterfowl69]

bell stuff

"Is it better to grieve what you lost or to not know you had anything to lose" - this is something my friend said when I was brain rotting about Bell one night and I genuinely don't think I will ever get over it.

Something that I'm going to try and talk about on here are my head canons and just general thoughts for different characters so it's only natural to talk about Bell. something that I think about a lot when it comes to Bell is the one sided/unrequited love trope between Bell and Adler. They have such an interesting dynamic and the fact that to Bell, Adler is their EVERYTHING is something I always get really hung up on. To me Bell and Adler's relationship is VERY "Somethin' Stupid" by Frank Sinatra. Bell spends their days following Adler around like a lost puppy. They are simply nothing without Adler's commands and unknowingly cannot help but *love* Adler because of this fabricated bond. I don't think that Bell would ever notice how easily Adler gets snappy with them, or how just generally hostile he is. I believe that every time Bell had a nightmare or couldn't sleep they immediately went to Adler opposed to Sims or Park. Every time Bell needed something they went to Adler no matter the time of day, or how big or small the ask was. Because of Bell's false friendship with Adler (Bell LITERALLY being made to believe that Adler was their best friend) I think that bothers Adler to an unreasonable extent; in the terms of Somethin' Stupid because I really love toxic yaoi, I just need Bell misinterpreting Adler's unusually kind acts as acts of love opposed to things hes doing to "get the job done," and in return Adler just genuinely hating Bell.

Anyway, due to the brain washing and conditioning Bell getting fed false memories of doing things with Alder to "strengthen their bond," to Bell Adler is genuinely their best friend - and it doesn't matter if this is platonic or stems into something more because I genuinely believe that Adler would despise Bell for it either way.

I believe that Adler is a generally spiteful man, no matter the scenario. So when you place him into the position where he has to "befriend" and "work with" a known communist terrorist?? Who was VERY high up in Perseus' ranks?? Naturally Adler is going to see Bell as scum and that fact is so important to me. I think that this would prevent Adler from forming any actual bond with Bell which is why he didn't hesitate after the Cuba mission to potentially make Bell overdose (just generally having zero regard for their safety), and why he so easily killed Bell during the Solovetsky ending. (If we take the Duga endings into account, Adler kills Bell and feels nothing but anger knowing that he was right in believing they were scum, and he tries to do the same in the Revenge ending but doesn't succeed.) This dynamic of Bell being dependent on Adler, and Adler hating Bell for existing is something that drives me insane.

It is the fact that at the end of the day, Bell is a fundamentally good person. That upon erasing everything they were, in the canon ending, Bell chose to tell the truth. And I think that is something Adler can't handle. Despite it all, Bell was a good person. Which is why a "happy" Solovetsky ending is something that actually ruined my life LMAO. No matter what, at least one of their guns went off and lets just say hypothetically neither of them got fatally wounded. You now have Adler, a man who despises Bell and failed to 'take out the trash,' and Bell, who can't even fathom why Adler would pull a gun on them in the first place. But with that, you also have a Bell who would be incapable of integrating back into society. Bell is someone who doesn't even know their own name, let alone their mother's face, the town they grew up in, how old they are, their favorite food, and anything else the CIA thought was unimportant when they erased Bell's identity. Realistically how could Bell ever recover from that? Bell has legitimate PTSD, not only from MKUltura, but from Vietnam; a country they never stepped foot in. Bell would still have that dependency on Adler to tell them what the next step is; "We have a job to do," is such a daunting phrase for a post-Solovetsky era Bell. A Bell where they lack all senses of individuality, and are absolutely terrified to do and decide things for themselves is so unbelievably real to me.

I know this has gotten a lot less well worded and more ramble-ish BUT the quote from the beginning of this post: "Is it better to grieve what you lost or to not know you had anything to lose?" Is it better for Bell to have died on the cliff in Solovetsky, not having the time to fully realize the extent of the gaps in their memory. Or for Bell to live and try to recover? Just. The idea that Adler did Bell a favor in killing them, that it was his one act of remorse rather than revenge fills my stomach with dread.

Okay that's all thank you.

[shakingparadigm]

DUDE ok i was a casual fan of alien stage before round six but now im like quaking in my boots, i wasn’t even thinking about a potential saving grace bc of hyuna. and like when i watched it i was so “100% ivan’s dead there’s no world where vivinos would keep him alive” and now im staying on that train bc it’s true and also i don’t want to be mourning for no reason lol

anyway it’s certain mizi and till will meet, probably when she saves his depressed ass like he keeps dreaming about, but what i think is gonna happen is that he’s gonna realize that the mizi he’s been yearning for isn’t the mizi that actually exists.

obviously it’s been hinted at bc her physical appearance has changed from the glasses wearing long haired angel till sees in round 6 after (or in the middle of, bc he wasn’t wearing the collar mute thing) getting assaulted, but also i don’t think mizi could ever consider till as more than a friend?

like idk mizi falling for really anyone else leaves a bad taste in my mouth, esp for someone who loves an idealized version of her, and i also very selfishly want my toxic yaoi to be requited even in death so till realizing he lost his real chance at partnership

my heart says till mourns a missed chance and never moves on, ivan deserves it >:(, my brain says maybe in the end mizi and till will become besties and grieve together in a new human world

or or maybe vivinos kills everyone off and like fades out into a future round of alien stage bc it’s a never ending cycle or whatever

sorry for length my brain worms have been brain worming

You know what I vibe with this. Ever since Mizi cut her hair I've been thinking about what it meant for her character (wrote a whole post about it) and how she's changed from the person the rest of the cast saw her as initially. I also don't think Mizi would see Till as anything more than a dear friend. She loves and cares for him, of course, just not in that way, and she'd be kind of disconcerted if she found out how he viewed her. It's implied that Till was always too shy to actually get close to Mizi, so it's likely that he doesn't know what she's actually like. He most likely takes her kind actions at face value and uses these bits of her to build an image in his head. An image of a perfect, flawless angel who's kindness knows no bounds. A purely gentle soul. But Mizi is not like that in actuality, of course. Nobody is. She's incredibly flawed, naive, prone to drowning in her emotion and lashes out when provoked. She's always been a lot stronger than she looks, too. I really want them to be friends, though. They deserve support and solidarity together with Hyuna once they reach an understanding. Hopefully they make it out alive!! (they so totally will not)

The series ending with everyone dead and the next season of Alien Stage beginning would be absolutely diabolical 😭 I could see that kind of thing happening since it's VIVINOS after all

[alexandraisyes]

joining in on ranting in you're ask box part- uh- idk 3?? 4??? I dont even know anymore

Anyway, *cough* i think still have some of these left (edit: I just finished typing this all out and think is defiently an understatement-)

SolarNexus: Solar just goes off on Moon for how much he hates Nexus. Thats all I have for that. I'm sorry im this close to forcing myself to start writing fanfiction again just to write this. Also for my true loves kiss saves Nexus idea- and just to write about Nexus finding who he is instead of who he's supposed to be. .... can you tell i think about these two a lot? (Edit: I prove later that I think about them even more, and Eclipse)

BloodySun: I'm like feral for these two- just, like- Bloodmoon giving dead birds and stuff to Sun and he's absolutley digusted but trying not to hurt their feelings- i- ansusnhas

Servant Sun x Servant Eclipse: I've seen like 1 ship fic with these two but I dont care. I'm obsessed. They need to hold hands and heal and go to therapy together. Obviously Eclipse would defiently be able to help Sun more (cause lord Eclipse), but Sun could defiently help Eclipse too. (Is Eclipse faking losing his memories/being reset or some shit canon? I've read too much fanfiction- im going to assume it is for this) he can also help Eclipse learn that he doesn't have to be fake all the time and thatd be cute

Nexus x Dark Sun: I dont even have thoughts about this. Like I have feelings but I dont have thoughts. I cant even reason why I like this, I just like the toxic yaoi. I just like the concept of Dark Sun not even liking Nexus but manipulating him- like- Moon turned bad x biggest moon hater. I also just like hurting Nexus so other characters can help him heal. Only thing turning me off from this ship is that its an alternate universe of his ex-brother who would most likely be his brother again if he had a redemption arc. Like- I love seeing the ship and I like the concept just it gives me the ick, but thats okay cause I dong have to rot over every ship. Actually, I'm glad I'm not obsessed with this ship I dont need more angst living in my brain. ... I am obsessed with it in a platonic sense tho so I guess the angst is in my brain anyway

Nexus x Eclipse but its when they were looking for who made Eclipse: Nexus abolutley collared him. Im sorry. .. no im not, im right. Like, what is with Nexus and treating others like dogs??? Like first v4 Eclipse, and now Ruin??? Nexus is there anything you want to tell us??? Okay pet play- also doing that to the masochist is crazy, like if you're going to treat anyone like a dog why would it be Ruin that feels like setting yourself up for disaster. Even if he isn't actually a masochist he sure is known for pretending to be one

Nexus x any Eclipse ever: listen, im just saying I think he has a thing for Eclipse's (which is funny cause Moon fucking hates them) Treating Eclipse and Ruin like his dogs. Solar being his best friend. Even Dark Sun, who's a really smart Evil Sun who absorbed the knowledge of his Moon, so im counting him. Like I think Nexus would like being thrown around by Lord Eclipse, or helping to fix up Servant Eclipse. I'm just saying-

Eclipse ² x Nexus (gets its own section i rot about these three): them just reassuring the other's that they're loved and cared for- im sorry you can't tell me that these three don't all have some form of attachment issues- Eclipse being so used to people hating him that he kind of just instinctively pushes people away. Similar with Solar, but he does it more so emotionally while also feeling like he has to earn his place and do things for people. And Nexus also feels like he has to prove himself, and that he isn't good enough.

And they just reassure each other and then the others use their words against him (/pos) and they realize how stupid it sounds and anisnsusnsns <3<3 like- nexus being like "you don't have to prove yourself for anyone, Solar. We love you, you don't need to overwork yourself for us." And, like- solar saying it to him back- and Nexus is just like ".. okay listen-" and similar things happening with the other two and ensunsjss-

also they're the three worst at interaction (other than old Moon he takes the cake for worst at it, but its okay i love it)- like they're all pretty bad at it. Eclipse is Eclipse(aka memories as a villain, and is a sarcastic little shit), Nexus is just kind of awkward, and cmon Solar didn't really ever have any interaction after his split than his Moon and probaly kids, we know he can't talk to people easily. Honestly tho Solar is the best at it (he was able to start up a conversation with Moon easier than Moon could with him) and I imagine he's the one who orders at restaurants

And Moon hates both of Solar's boyfriends and Moon and Solar are friends and I think that's just kind of funny. Like Moon likes Solar so he doesn't stop being friends with him even though he's dating the two, but he's bitter about it (though honestly if Nexus had a redemption arc and it was proved he had a virus, I feel like Moon would hate him a little less. But he'd probaly still be insecure about Nexus probaly taking his place and everyone not really liking Moon again so he'd probaly still be an ass to him.)

Anyway they cuddle. Doesn't even have to be romantic, those three deserve to be in love (also the potential from forbidden love Eclipse² is Nausnsusnsn)

... I- shipping dynamics are neat

I apologize for making this so long, I expected it to be short and then I remembered I started to like new ships 😔

ALSO were being brave and doing this off anon (also id like you to know I genuinely just stared at my phone for a moment when I saw youd followed me lmao. I was so suprised [and delighted, you're neat]- plus it was like 4 am and I hadn't slept yet. I thought it was a dream the next day because I was that tired- I had to check cause i get very vivid dreams-)

All of these are so canon bro.

Solar saves Nexus with true loves kiss real? Real. I saw it with my own two eyes. It happened chat.

BLOODYSUN!!! They love their sunny and try to show that in the best way they know how, dead birds included. Sun is so grossed out by the blood and feathers and ough that's a dead bird ewww but he just forces a smile and nods and feeds it to his cats when Bloodmoon isn't looking. Then drowns his hands with soap and shampoos the carpet.

I feel like I've seen that fic too but my poor brain- Also yes, the pretending to be reset is canon. And that's so cute I'm-

Platonic ships are just as valid as romantic ones! And I really like the angst potential too heheheheh

Ayo 👀 Mmm I have thoughts about that but I must refrain.

Objectively correct. Nexus is an eclipsephile. He loves himself some eclipse.

POLY POLY POLY 🎉🎉🎉

THANK YOU FOR SHARING ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS THESE ARE SO TASTY OH MY GOD ROLLING THESE AROUND IN MY BRAIN

Also awww ur so sweet. I love ur art! It's very cute! Of course I followed!

Ask Game

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

Hello it’s crucifixion anon here. I’m really glad you liked it knjslmk but also you picked up on everything I was thinking about so perfectly?? I wasn’t sure if I got it across well I’m so happy :D I feel like I got a good grade in toxic yaoi and the teacher drew a smiley face on my essay

“Crucifixion as castration” YESSSS THIS IS EXACTLY THE IDEA I HAD!! L disfiguring Light by destroying the thing he takes the most pride in. A grotesquely archaic karmic punishment. Leaving his mark in such a way that Light will never be able to act as Kira without utterly humiliating himself and cursing L’s name as he does it, or relying on someone else do it for him. Hell maybe Light would even try using his toes. That’d make L very happy.

As a real attempt at preventing Light from killing anyone in the future it won’t do much because, like you said, if he did get the Death Note back he’d still find a way without use of his hands, but it’s a symbolic and emotional way to cripple him. It would be an especially hard blow to Light, who so badly needs to appear perfect in every way that to have such a (WARNING INTERNALISED ABLEISM AHEAD) glaring imperfection in his body might devastate him.

I think any atticwife Light AU- will forever be calling it this thanks to you- should have L damage Light’s hands in some way, whether by just breaking his wrists or amputating his arm to the elbow, because how else do you show your victory over Kira, short of killing him? If you cage a bird, you clip its wings. If you keep a housecat you trim its nails. It’s not an act of hatred, or even a punishment, it is simply a necessary sacrifice of one of the traits that makes them special and wild so that you can hold them close, forever, and be safe from them as they are from the cruel world they came from.

(Light can thrash against the bars of his cage all he wants, he’ll never fly again even if he breaks through.)

And although this is more negotiable if the alternative is hot enough, I do believe L wouldn’t do anything to Light’s feet, not just because “haha foot fetish” but to show he doesn’t have to take away Light’s ability to run for good. Light has no way of escaping now, of course, but even if he did where would he go? Who would worship him, now that L has taken away the hands of God and ruined him? Who is going to admire him now that he’s just a helpless, mutilated boy (WARNING ABLEIST LANGUAGE IS USED INTENTIONALLY HERE FOR CHARACTER PURPOSES DON'T KICK ME OUT PLEASE)- who, except for L? His normalcy has been damaged too much for him to fit in with his peers, his innocence has been sullied too irreparably for his family to trust him, Misa probably isn’t doing much better than he is, so L is the only one who can accept him, now. That’s his life sentence. And one day, when he realises that, maybe L can actually let him use those feet as he pleases, because it won’t matter either way.

I am sorry I ranted much longer than I was intending to there but ANYWAY I’m SO happy you caught the bit about the blood on the sheets being a perversion of a virgin on her wedding night because I was going to write that directly and then thought it didn’t flow. We are so in sync fr I can just mentally project my intended symbolism

Light’s first night nailed to L’s bed as a twisted recreation of a honeymoon night. Their whole relationship as some distorted reflection of a normal relationship: Lind L Tailor was their confession, the handcuffs were their engagement, and L’s victory was their wedding. That first night, with Light bleeding out and vulnerable and rawer than he’s ever been and L treating him like a saint after stripping him of his godhood, is the beginning of their new life together, and the greatest gift they could give each other. An act more intimate and irreversible than wedding vows. “Till death do us part”, except they both know it’s true, and even death wouldn’t part them now that Light will be reminded of L every time he’s forced to kill someone with his teeth, forever.

Ok seriously, I did not intend for this to be so long and I'm really sorry for clogging your inbox so much after you just cleared it all jnklsdfg. If you don't wanna reply that's fine, you can probably guess who I am if you want to chat instead o7

kicking my feet. this is such a nice msg in my inbox to look at. i love looking at this and reading this and thinking about this. every time light picks up a pen and is reminded of L, an indelible mark. GOD. GOOD SHIT. GOOD SHIT!! god. clipping his wings. fuck yeah. in my other atticwife aus for different fandoms i defaulted to breaking legs/knees but oh, light, you can't run without your hands, you can't kill without them....yummy. yummmmmyyyyy. god i love the idea of physically disabling light, who is, you know, perfectly athletic honors student. the humiliation of a body that won't listen to him. the anger. the rage. the grief. something taken from him that the death note can't give back. you only have one body, light yagami, and someone has violated it utterly.

even death wouldn’t part them now that Light will be reminded of L every time he’s forced to kill someone with his teeth, forever.

I'M FUCKING HOWLING. WAIT. HOLD ON. light yagami reduced from the impersonal, dignified killing-with-his-hands to killing with his teeth. the animal symbolism of it all. domestication as ripping someone from their facade of dignity and humanity and forcing them into killing with their teeth. fuck. i'm gonna think about this forever. thank you so so so much???

[i-read-that-manga-for-you]

Given

Admittedly, I read this manga a long time ago. Like when chapters were still coming out. I was still in high school at the time (holy fuck) and couldn't really articulate my feelings as well as I can now.

I had left this review (bits and pieces of it) on a manga site and decided I might as well put it on my tumblr, finetuning it, of course. First post, because in spite of its flaws, Given is still close to my heart. And I reread it again (somewhat) to make this a better review. I hope each person who reads this will reimburse me with 50 cents each (jk don't). So here it is. My impression of Given, with !!some!! talk about how SA is treated in BL/Yaoi culture in general.

Or not, this is just my two cents with no anthropology degree.

Do take what I say with a grain of salt, a piece of creative media does not exist in a vacuum, but this review treats it as one at times because I'm not really skilled enough to talk about any wider implications. I'm just some guy giving my review.

Spoilers ahead. Go ahead.

TW: Sexual Assault.

Honestly, this manga made me feel a lot. Good and bad feelings. But let's focus on what I liked.

Ugetsu.

He's on the phone, shhh.

I found Ugetsu to be a very compelling character, and it was a huge shame that he vanished partway through the manga. Basically? I have no criticisms about him as a character, he has his flaws and he's nuanced. He's interesting and compelling, and it's clear that he's someone who is still growing and learning to walk on his own two feet. I won't deny that his relationship with Akihiko was very toxic, but I definitely think this isn't something that can be blamed solely on him.

But with this out of the way. Let's talk about the pairings.

Let's talk about Akiharu.

Kizu Natsuki is an amazing artist... Even when I have certain issues with this manga.

Well. I have a lot of qualms with Akiharu.

For starters, Akihiko assaulted Haruki. I'll never forget that. The fact that they ended up getting together anyway was a huge point of contention for me. Given was framed as a story about love more than a traditional story about BL/yaoi which (sorry) usually leans towards the sex. (This is not to say that sex and romance are separated, well they are but they are linked rather than being one in the same. You can have either, like they're hot/cold water but they come from the same faucet.)

But I feel that having this scene in rather than an argument feels completely wrong. I'm someone who will digest pretty much anything the world throws at me, but the Akiharu assault scene came off wrong and it came off scary. (Note: I say scary but I definitely mean much more than that, I just feel like "shouldn't be romanticized" doesn't encapsulate all of it. This topic is not something I'm qualified to talk about, so I don't want to overstep any boundaries.)

And to be honest, that's good because SA shouldn't be romanticised, for that, a big well done to our author. I just wish the aftermath was dealt with better.

This is terrifying. Please retract your words.

In spite of the SA scene being scary, afterwards all seemed to be resolved the moment it was revealed that Akihiko had nowhere else to go.

Everything for them goes uphill from here. Yay.

I just have to wonder what was the point of that buildup if you were just going to allow things to end nicely like that. With a scene like that, you'd think that the manga was saying that "SA is scary, it's terrifying and it's something that you shouldn't forget even if it's BL/Yaoi." But, why did it end up like this.

What I'm trying to say is: What does it matter that Akihiko apologised (twice), he still assaulted Haruki, he assaulted a friend. Even worse is the way that they're framed as a healthy couple afterwards, this just made me all the more uncomfortable. I feel like this is saying "SA is scary" but also saying "the power of love and friendship absolves everything". I've seen some people talk about the fact that SA happened, but haven't seen them say how it was "resolved". I think it's more to do with yaoi/BL fiction culture, that we've grown to accept SA that is unaddressed in our media to the point that Akihiko's apology is like a prayer more than something that's not even worth a second glance.

Saying that Akiharu started off rocky is an understatement, but if I pretend it never happened, I can say for sure that they are much healthier than Akigetsu, and they deserve each other. It's just not good storytelling especially because I don't really understand the motivations of Haruki liking Akihiko.

I once said that Haruki's character arc was based on Akihiko and that was my bad. I was wrong. Haruki, in fact, has a minor character arc, that isn't really to do with Akihiko, about how he feels insecure surrounded by geniuses in the band and this gets resolved by Akihiko saying that they wouldn't be able to function if all of them were geniuses, and Haruki himself seeing Akihiko hard at work. But I had completely forgotten about this arc, my bad, but my point still stands. Haruki deserved a better character arc.

I don't have a smart comment for this unfortunately. Eat your veggies??

In spite of saying this, I'm not an Akiharu hater, I swear. But I just found that ship much less compelling than Akigetsu in general. Akigetsu was a relationship where they were both incredibly toxic towards each other, there was an imbalance in the fact that Ugetsu literally owned the place they were living in, as well as how he'd kick Akihiko out whenever things were rocky. However, I think the end of their relationship was dealt well on both sides, their toxicity towards each other was framed in a negative light as it should have been. They ended the relationship and went their separate ways, this was the best ending for them. For Akiharu and Akigetsu: The difference between these two relationships is that one was dealt well and the other was dealt wrong. Akiharu deserve each other and Ugetsu deserves to learn how to grow by himself.

Anyway, another point of contention was, in spite of the healthy nature of Akiharu. Somehow, the friendship between the two couples seems to have waned and it was pretty disappointing to see. I think it started before this, but the first time it was obvious to me was this scene.

I know you're in the middle of something, but don't be mean to Mafuyu >:(.

Context: This is Chapter 40. Akiharu are in a moment of intimacy and Uenoyama is knocking at their door trying to get advice.

We've seen that Mafuyu is a very reserved person, to see that Akihiko was so ready to tell Mafuyu to stop coming over (even if it is to stop him from coming over so suddely) right to his face was extremely immature.

Basically, imagine if that had been Mafuyu. Personally, I feel like Mafuyu would have been hurt like hell and closed right back up. This scene is something played for laughs and that's something so disappointing. Given is shown to be a band of friends, but in the end it seemed more like two couples who hang out sometimes. Also the fact that both Akihiko and Haruki are pushing Uenoyama to get Mafuyu to rejoin the band. That's something else that bothers me heavily. That they're treating Mafuyu as Uenoyama's responsibility because they're dating. It's a band that is sure to fall apart if you are not making an effort to support each other equally. I mean, it doesn't have to be entirely equal but points for effort and they get no points here. It's funny because they were at least a little self-aware of this prior.

Dating in a band is something that is nuanced, of course. But it sure is funny to see them practically go down the same route they condemned.

That's my criticism of Akiharu.

So, what about the other instance of SA? I'm talking about Shizusumi and Hiiragi, of course.

Let's talk about Shizuragi.

Here they are! Let's talk about them!

Admittedly the first time around, I wasn't particularly into Shizuragi, I was too busy mourning the absense of Ugetsu. But it was during their sex scene where I realised something was very wrong. I was having flashbacks to the Akiharu assault chapter but this time it was played as "love" rather than something reprehensible. Once again, assault was in the manga and it, once again, resolved with badly.

I feel like sexual assault being played off as "love" and being resolved literally the next chapter with the victim being all kosher with it, should be garnering people's "??? what the fuck"s and not to bat for the opposing team for once but where are the complaints. I've actually seen some people talking about this chapter, but I would have expected more.

Hiiragi said he was scared and was crying, but they still fucked anyway. :D <- smile of shock.

Um what. Haha... ha........ :D <- terrifed smile of shock.

I don't know whether it would have been worse that he knew he was assaulting Hiiragi or whether he didn't know at all. But he knew.

Shizusumi confessed his love the morning after and it was all okay. But, to be honest, the fact that it was played off as being "all okay" makes this even worse. It's normal in yaoi/BL for SA to be played off as love, but you'd think that the last place you'd see this is in Given of all places. SA is SA and the fact that Hiiragi was so accepting of what happened to him afterwards says something about this the culture of BL/yaoi and how we just go along with it says something about this sentiment of how "yaoi is always going to be yaoi".

We're done? We're done.

There are no more SA scenes (that I can remember). But I do want to touch on Mafuyu and Uenoyama as briefly as possible (This is a recount of my experience after all). So, Mafuyama.

Ah, yes. The start of everything.

Admittedly, I didn't actually find their relationship super compelling. This is because I tend to get tunnel vision on characters I like (in this case, I heavily tunnel visioned on Ugetsu). I do like them both, they just didn't fit within my vision. I thought they were sweet but I also see a lot of complaints about how Mafuyu was stuck on Yuki and Uenoyama was getting backseated and I do agree with this. Kind of.

I think Mafuyu's story is about growth as a person, it's like what people say: You don't move on or lose your grief, you grow around it. Grief doesn't get smaller, you just get bigger. The person he loved died and I don't think it's fair to say that he has to get over Yuki. Grief is something that sticks with you everywhere, something you have to carry every day. They're still teenagers, they're still young and still have room to grow.

But as a story? Sheesh, instead of Haruki having no place in their circle. I felt like Uenoyama, even when he's the protagonist, wasn't given his spotlight in his own story. There is no character arc for him, there is nothing for him and that's just not fair. There are two people in a relationship, so why does it always feel like, narratively, Uenoyama always comes as an afterthought?

You could have had a character arc about this... Relationships are meant to be balanced, sweetie...

I just think it's a shame, but they're nowhere near as unhealthy as the other couples in Given, so I'm giving them a gold star.

(Minor irk, I do not remember when this happened but why the hell does Yayoi (Uenoyama's sister) get a character arc (where she comes to an understanding about Mafuyama feelings for each other, but also the gay in general) but the man himself doesn't?)

So, with Mafuyama, I feel like the story could have focused a little more on Uenoyama's side. But I feel like it's similar to how Haruki's story kind of got the backseat to Akigetsu drama happenings at the time. Shrug, we can't have it all.

He's beautiful...

That's honestly... all my thoughts. Wow! That was a lot of them. I think there's a lot to be said about how yaoi treats SA and dub-con in general, even in a manga that's not even focused on the sex.

With that said, I don't think BL shouldn't have SA or dubious scenes but the aftermath should be dealt with better afterwards. I think with Given, it's a start that the SA (at least with Akiharu) wasn't romanticised, but the aftermath was just poorly executed.

But I'm not the yaoi police, I hold no authority and I don't support purity culture. I'm not an anti-anything and I also believe that fiction should be fiction. What people enjoy should no way equate to a person's worldview. But, this was just all my perspective and my opinion. I said it and now I'm done. Haha... Anyway, my paypal is—

[red-velvet-0w0]

boo. tell me about your ocs

oh dear this is going to take a while.

honestly im pretty tired right now so i might not go as into detail as i might normal but heres the gist of it

5 teenagers get trapped in a time loop mystery trying to figure out who trapped them in a time loop while being hunted down by a cult, the US government, and a varied collection of eldritch gods

to be more specific basicaly the five are trapped in a timeloop and loose most of their memoreis between loops, only really remembering their relationship with the people around them, though each have a special ability allowing them to remember one thing

the characters are:

(heres an old lineup i made of them for reference) (need to remake this at some point)

in order we have

Amelia Augur: genderfluid lesbian artist with an interest in the supernatural and a pet raven named Ray who keeps all memories throughout loops but struggles to communicate anything due to being a bird

Jane Hare: lesbian transfem writer in an abusive relationship with an eldritch mirror god who wakes up with a lymeric every morning crypticly outlining what happened the loop before

Ida Vidya: pansexual aromantic journalist who is obsessed with knowing everything even if it kills her (and it has killed her, many, many, many, many times) who has a camera that keeps 10 pictures over to the next loop

Jack Edmund-Kang: bisexual former jock son of the Mayor with self hatred issues, a dead mother, and a dad he wishes was dead, who has the ability to keep all physical changes to his body between loops, meaning he can grow muscle and learn muscle memory, but also keeps so so so so so many scars. also he can remember all the blood hes seen in any loop

Blake Payne: gay emo transmasc drummer with mommy issues and a knife, who can remember things based off of sound

Special Agent Booker, CIA: a secret agent sent to figure out what is going on in this one town and is given all the government resources and manpower she needs, only to immediately become worsties with a furry

Mayor Kang: jacks father, the mayor of the town, and also a secret cult leader who has lived for hundreds of years protecting an ancient magical artifact called the Pentagramic Pocketwatch that he was planning on using to revive his dead wife, only for it to get stolen and used to trap everybody in a time loop, and him assuming that his son had stolen it and trying to kill him

The Day: Minor god of days who dies every night and is born every day, who was the actual one who stole the Pentagramic Pocketwatch to try and escape having to die over and over agian, though thats not revealed until pretty late in the story

The Mask: Minor god of manipulation who dresses like a furry and manages to immediatly become enemies with the first two women dressed in blue it can find. its by far one of the physicaly weakest characters, but is just really smart and good at outmanuvering everyone so that it can get its hands on the Pentagramic Pocketwatch

The Beast: Minor god of hunting wants to steal the watch for itself and has toxic old man yaoi with the mayor

The Reflection: Minor god of mirrors who is by far the worst person i have ever created.

basicaly the plot is split up into 5 arcs of

the main five find themselves in a time loop oh no

they find out that actualy theres some other weird stuff going on in town

oh shit magic and gods and shit is real?

hey i wonder who actualy stole the pocketwatch if it wasnt us

hey the day has the pocketwatch lets get our hands on it before any of the other people manage to get their hands on it

anyways if you want more clarification you can ask me for specific details later, otherwise heres a link to a different post where i explain everything far more in depth

[pharawee]

What really irks me about the two* spicy scenes in OMG! Vampire this week isn't even that they're (at the very least) dubcon but that they're just so... lazy - which in turn makes the whole thing uncomfortable to watch at best.

*There was a third scene between Zen and Run that was much more palatable but it too did include a rather awkward "Did you do anything to me while I was asleep?" which makes me wonder if the writer has... certain preferences. 🥴

And it's kind of ironic that both the scene between Joe and Jackie, and the scene between Patrick and Poom have been done before AND WAY BETTER by some of the same actors (in a way):

Bonus, who plays Jackie, had several similar scenes in Gen Y 2 that were full of tension and lust DESPITE the characters arguing (to put it mildly) at the time. It was set up really well because it had none of the lukewarm "I know you like it" dialogue (with the other character visibly not liking it lmao) that ruined a much anticipated love scene between Jackie and Joe.*

*To be fair, not much happened anyway except for some vague ear biting and one very drawn out camera angle. Sugus' long hair was wasted on this and it's an outrage.

As for the scene where Patrick makes out (and possibly more) with a very asleep Poom. Funnily enough, almost exactly the same scene happens in Book 2 (or was it 3?) of Love Syndrome between Itt and Day (who Frank and Long also played) - only it's very clear that previous consent is given and that Itt (once aware) is very enthusiastic about it. So none of that weird "Did you r*pe me?" that certain flavours of old-school yaoi are so fond of in order to make it "okay" for a character to lose control and enjoy himself. 😐

And I'm not at all opposed to toxic and dark tropes (especially not in fic or novels) but at least do them well (and maybe spread them out a bit between episodes and couples 🥴).

But, uh, yeah, maybe skip this whole show if noncon isn't your thing.

[noxiatoxia]

Can you give komahina (toxic yaoi?) headcanons

lemme see here. this is hard bc i dont necessairly have ~komahina~ headcanons i just have headcanons for komaeda and hajime it really has nothing to do with them as a ship;. but uh

ok so here's one. long winded. but i think from what we can gather about hajime he was a bit of a loner child. his parents didnt seem to gaf abt him. so i think he does get attached to people easy. tbh sdr2 was like a miracle scenario in some ways bc there's this guy who has little to no friends (be he never goes out of his way to make them) and then hes stuck with 15 other people his age and he's like i guess i'll talk to them what else can i do....and turns out everyone desires him carnally. tbf he's able to match ppl's freak and he's just good at listening (or pretending to listen) so this makes him popular. so its like ohhh ok we're friends now. hajime is that kind of guy who if he talks to someone once he calls them his friend. but like everyone IS actually his friend. anyways i think if hajime goes a long time without talking to someone he knows he starts to get a little nervous like if its been 1 whole week and he has not even exchanged small talk with like idk mahiru he's like "something is Critically Wrong" so then he'll go find her and be like "hi hows it going". its like disrupting his routine or whatever. i think the time periods for "how long hajime can go without talking to this person" varies depending on the person obviously. like with hiyoko it's like. they don't interact much so if it's been a week and a half he'll be like ohhh ok...maybe i should say something to her....but someone like kazuichi it's like. 3 days hasn't spoken to him once he's like Where Is That Mother Fucker.

this is all to say when it comes to komaeda in a komahina scenario it's devastating bc if he does not see komaeda in a while he gets fucked up abt it in like his anxiety/ptsd spiral his first thought it KOMAEDA IS DEAD. HIS LUCK GOT HIM KILLED. HE KILLED HIMSELF. and then hes like banging on komaeda's cabin door and shit like KOMAEDA. PLEASE.PLEASE. and komaeda is like um hi. flip side: komaeda is also very much like this but with people he's close-close with bc if he does not see hajime in like three days he's like HAJIME IS DEAD. MY LUCK GOT HIM KILLED. HE KILLED HIMSELF. and then he also goes crazy so they have to at least be makin small talk every day to ward off the demons....

as for like. TOXIC YAOI headcanons idk........anything in the chapter 4 area would be bad. i think. i have read so many hate fucking doujins in the chapter 4 time period. while dat all doesnt seem very canon to me (i just dont think hajime be doin all that. nor komaeda really) i see the vision. kamukoma was probably unhealthy on both sides if we want to go there. but like komahina. idk . 1) my brain is fogged up rn so it's hard to think you can ask again later if you desire but 2) really they aren't all that toxic like outside of a killing game environment. komaeda tends to keep to himself and hajime tries to understand people. so like. hajime is very much a "if it sucks hit da bricks" kind of philosopher so if komaeda was being a detriment to his health and he DID have a way out then it's not like he'd stay. hajime does put his foot down when things get too much. (if komaeda was a woman tho she could abuse hajime and he wouldnt gaf #mikanislandmodeending #hiyokoislandmodeending ) but see again komaeda wouldnt be doin all that. i cant see him intentionally hurt hajime post sdr2 canon, at most unintentionally toxic/unhealthy but again i thinnk hajime would in that case try to help him out like couples therapy style or something. WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS. im bad with headcanons it seems.

[judithan-xing]

oc phone bg + detail shots ^w^

This is a redraw of an old phone background I made a couple years back, except I wanted to make it themed around my unofficial Year of Yaoi I've been doing. It's a celebration of all of my gay protagonists, with more detailed notes about them under the read more, please consider taking a look through at it, I really poured my heart into this piece ;w;

[In order of top to bottom, left to right]

Fester and Riot (Lordless) are what I would consider the ship that is the most "I would kill for you", in a mutual way. Riot is given his Blessing by Abaddon and prays and worships him at every hardship, completely unaware that the creepy, rot-smelling freak that he's been helping unwillingly is the object of his worship. Fester would do anything for Riot, having fallen in love with him the moment he laid eyes on him, and suffers torture and having his wings ripped from him and still goes to Riot's side.

Valcher and Dirk (Red Snow) are obsessed with each other. Codependent, but in a way that's mutually beneficial. Valcher hates humans and finds them disgusting (his vampyric diet consisting of wild game) but trusts Dirk with his life and finds him to be Different than the rest. Dirk is obsessed with Valcher and realizes that his repressed lack of want for love or sex has actually been due to needing a Freak Like Him. His love for Valcher comes easily.

(Center panel) Tamara and Judas (Magus Society) are the It Couple of All Time. Judas originally courts Tamara on the idea that he's both extremely powerful, frail, and naive, but eventually can't help but truly fall in love. His dubious morals are no match for Tamara's virtue, and he changes, not just to save the world, but to earn back his love's trust. And Tamara, despite the heart ache he's put through, lets Judas back in. Forgives him, loves him flaws and all. A Demon Prince and his Deity of Hope.

Saber and Lux (Elemon) are rivals. While Saber is nonbinary so this wouldn't count as MLM, Lux is also nonbinary so it still counts a T4T. Lux is exceptional at everything he does, between training Elemon to besting others in combat, to the point it enrages Saber. How could this idiot Nobody beat them? Over the course of their story, however, Saber learns to realize they never stood a chance. Lux is in a league of his own. The respect becomes mutual, and the crush is incidental. If you ever asked what their relationship is, they'd both say "we're just rivals" even after making out.

Sinclaire and Kail (Demon In The Machine) are... coworkers, if you could call them that. Kail, in a desperate attempt to find a better life for himself and his sister, and get them off the frozen hellscape of Titania, makes a deal with a devil - an Arma demon named Sinclaire. He sells his soul in exchange for a new hand and a mech. What he doesn't know is included is his heart, clutched in the black claws of his boss, his owner, his downfall. Toxic lovers to the end.

Avelar and Gentri (Legend of Arcadia) are bodymates. Gentri is the God of Nature, Avelar a man of science, and in an effort to turn himself into a God he fused the soul core of one into him and became permanently bound to the deity. Gentri detests him at first, trying to do anything and everything he can to remove himself from the semi-mortal prison, but eventually grows to understand and even like Avelar as a person. He learns of human fear, mortality, abandonment, and while he wishes to be a separate person he grows to enjoy the man's company... especially after several decades of Avelar furiously trying to find a way to undo his mistake. Their trope is enemies to reluctant friends to lovers.

Sterling and Rez/Rezykai (Benevola) are acquaintances by necessity at first. Sterling is a merc who takes jobs others don't want, and when he's asked to transport Rez across the border he nearly refuses. But he does it anyway, and goes from being barely involved with his political drama to integral and attached. They're both idiots and bicker constantly, but they both care deeply about the other and would kick anyone's ass for touching them. Sterling is cold and Rez is a tsundere and together they're hilarious and insufferable.

All of these ocs have spanned the course of my entire artistic life. Tamara and Judas for example I drafted up in 2007, while Saber and Lux are my most recent mainstay duo having been created in 2023. I love my ocs a lot and I could go on and on about them forever if prompted. (pls send me asks about my ocs lol)

if you got this far tysm i cherish you <3

[stilin-ski]

I would love to know Lyla's whole deallll

Perfect Baby with the toxic yaoi parents

Mm so that's the fun part with this AU: they're still toxic, yes, but now they have a reason to actually work on not being toxic.

Because Layla is perfect. She's innocent in all this. So they try.

And for the most part, they're able to succeed with little issue.

But there is a time period where it's bad, things are really bad with them. Porter moves out for a bit. Jace only wears his wedding ring in public. Layla is around 14 at this point, so shes already a mess of emotions, and none of this is helping. Absolutely none of this.

They're short when they do hand offs, despite the fact that they're so obviously miserable and want to say something more, anything, if it might mean they could fix this, once and for all.

But they're both incredibly stubborn. And incredibly consumed by their own assumptions on what the other wants, regardless of the evidence to the contrary. So they don't say anything. Jace hands off Layla, and Layla spends the week with Porter.

Jace goes home, drinks a bottle of wine, puts on one of Porter's old shirts he left behind, gets on Porter's side of the bed, and cries himself to sleep. He's fucking miserable, and he just wants his family back.

Porter does much the same on the weeks he doesn't have Layla, but he has a photo of Jace on his bedside table in his new apartment. The mattress is cheap, he couldn't figure out the specific sheets Jace bought, so the ones he has irritate his skin. The bed is cold beside him. He never wakes up to Jace fighting his way closer in his sleep, shoving his feet between Porter's legs because he's cold. He doesn't wake up to Layla demanding waffles for breakfast on the weekends. He doesn't have his family, and he hates it. Doesn't know how to fix it. Doesn't really know how they got to this point to begin with.

Anyways. They fix it after Layla has a pretty serious wild magic surge and injures herself seriously enough to need several treatments of healing magic over the course of a few months. Jace calls Porter sobbing, terrified that Layla's dead, that she isn't going to be okay, that they've lost her forever. Porter is there in an instant, and Jace just. He just crumbles.

He doesn't even remember what the fight was about. He doesn't remember why there was so much resentment, so much arguing. It all seemed so fucking stupid now.

So they're sitting there, in Layla's room at the hospital, and Jace won't let go of Porter. Won't let go of his hand, stays leaning on his arm, his shoulder. There, accompanied by the consistent machine beeping of Layla's heartbeat, Jace turns to Porter and says, "I want you to come home. Please, just come home."

And he does.

But that's just one version of them. You wanna know about a really wild version of the Stardiamond-Cliffbreaker household, ask me about the AU where something with the Time Quangle created an alternate universe where Jace and Porter are truly just normal, regular people with a daughter. Then the bad kids come back, and fix whatever caused the issue.

Except now Jace remembers who Porter was before. He remembers dying at his hand. Two sets of memories for them both.

And now they have a daughter.