#screaming throwing up dont look at it. praying hoping that the keep reading thing works the way i need it to ive never used it before and im

[kiwiparfait]

The Power of a Name

waiting on making an account on ao3 so i’m posting this here sorry. spoilers for toh.

little thing i wrote about hunter choosing a new name. this is important to me bc i feel like his arc can be interpreted as being an allegory for transness and i feel like a good conclusion to that is for him to change his name. this is an idea i’ve been playing with for a bit but i literally was having trouble myself deciding on his new name. i hope people like what i ended up going with :]

also i dont write much im sorry if this is bad LOL + i sped run the first 2 paragraphs bc they were an after thought but i felt like it needed. a context to exist in

Luz, Hunter, Amity, Willow, Gus, and V were all hanging out in the basement. They were chatting about this and that for a while, mostly lighthearted talk. But eventually conversation took a turn and Hunter’s situation was brought up. How he was doing after everything that had happened. It was something he had avoided talking about. Even after all this time, he had trouble opening up to others and expressing his emotions. It was something he was trying to work on, but it was still difficult. Talking about emotions or showing any emotions was strictly prohibited in the emperor’s coven because it was seen as a hindrance. But he could tell they all asked out of concern for him, and he really didn’t want to worry them more than he probably already did.

He fought the voices in his head telling him to keep it to himself and began to open up about the things he had been internalizing for so long. About the brutal training he endured, the violent outbursts of the emperor, and the nights he’d spend just crying curled up in his bed. And then about coming to realize who, or what he was.

“I used to wear my name proudly like some sort of badge. Before Belos, I didn’t have a family, didn’t have a name. He took me in and raised me. He gave me a name, a purpose. But everything I remember from my past or thought I remembered was all lies. I never had a mom or a dad,” Hunter admitted. “‘Hunter’ wasn’t a name lovingly given to me, it was just some title. A method to dehumanize me. Some role in his sick game in which his brother did everything he wanted. ‘Hunter’ is just one more thing that connects me back to him. I want to move on, but I don’t think I can like this,” he muttered, staring down at his feet.

“Do you…want to go by something else?” Luz offered gently. Hunter looked up and blinked at her in surprise.

“Yeah… I think so. If it isn’t too much trouble. It’s probably stupid, I’m sorry,” Hunter mumbled.

“No, no. Not at all. Whatever name you end up choosing, we’ll respect it! We support you,” Luz reassured, and everyone nodded in agreement. “Thank you for trusting us with this.”

“...Thanks guys, I really appreciate that,” he replied with a small smile.

.

.

Hunter spent the next week contemplating what his name should be. It was a strange feeling. A name is such a strong part of one’s identity, he thought. He’d spent so long being “Hunter” and the Golden Guard, he didn’t know anything else. He was slowly starting to figure out who he was outside of those identities, but it was hard to let them go nonetheless. Change, even for the better, is frightening.

The first name he kept coming back to was Caleb. Of course. The first name that wasn’t Hunter he had briefly gone by. There was a familiarity to the name. It suited him. But that thought made him itch, because it wasn’t his name to bear. That name belonged to someone who he felt he wasn’t, deep down. Going by Caleb would mean accepting that he was nothing more than a shadow of a dead man. He was his own person now, and he wanted his name to reflect that.

With the help of Luz, he searched through various lists of names online trying to find one he liked. He began a list of his own to keep track of ones he thought he might use. He spent a couple of days trying out a few of the names on his list to feel them out, and everyone tried their best to use them when referring to him. None of the names stuck, however. They didn’t feel like him.

After wasting so much time on it, Hunter almost gave up on finding a new name. He figured he’d just try to make Hunter work; after all, it was the name he was so used to. It was a name that belonged to him. But he finally had an idea. He knew what his name would be. He gathered everyone in the living room, telling them that he had got it, after all these weeks. He stood in front of them, flustered but excited, as they sat with anticipation.

“I’d like to go by Jack from now on. To honor Flapjack. Y’know, cause he’ll always be a part of me. And I owe him so much. He was my first friend, and really, my first real family,” he said warmly, with a hand on his chest.

Everyone looked a little stunned for a moment before grinning at him. “I love that. And Jack suits you perfectly,” Luz beamed. Camila stood and wrapped her arms around him in a tender embrace. 

“Thank you guys for being so accepting of all of this. Really,” Jack confided. For once in his life he truly felt confident that he was his own person, and he was ready to begin life as Jack.

[juyeoniemyhoney]

make you feel my love

Losing means nothing to Ishikawa when he has you.

pairing: ishikawa yuki x reader

genre: fluff, established relationship

warnings: i don’t think there’s any!

word count: 2074 words

A/N: i honestly dont know who wants to read this but im just gonna post it anyways HAHA so here all you ishikawa simps pls enjoy<3

--------

It all happens at once.

The noise— screams of all pitches and encouragements of all sorts, forming a raucous cacophony in the large gymnasium— halts almost immediately; like a vacuum has sucked it all up and the only thing that is left is an eerie stillness as everyone waits in antsy anticipation for the player to serve.

And then he is running up, throwing the ball great lengths into the air and jumping to meet it halfway, hitting the ball with such force and determination you can almost feel the impact yourself. The ball hurtles through the air and crosses the net with such speed you almost don't see it.

But the Japanese team does. Their libero, Yamamoto, crosses the court in a flash and bumps the ball up so high up it gives his teammates half a second to breathe before they are rushing to connect it, the setter, Sekita, tossing the ball higher in the air for Ishikawa to hit it.

The tall Brazilians loom over him like a curse, like bad karma, as determined as the Japanese are, but not nearly as desperate. Ishikawa does not mind them and he bravely hits the ball with as much strength as his worn out body allows him, sending every last bit of energy into this spike, hoping, praying, practically begging for it to work, for the ball to hit the other side of the court with such violence that the Brazilians would not be able to even react before it hits the floor.

The next thing you know, the ball hits the hands of the Brazilians and is spindling down towards the floor at breakneck speed. Yamamoto, Sekita and Ishikawa (when he lands), all throw themselves to the floor in a desperate bid to save it, to not let it touch the floor, to not let all their hard work be washed down into a drain. But to no avail.

The ball hits the floor with a resounding thud. The whistle blows and all at once, the Brazilian supporters leap from their seats and yell and scream and shout with unadulterated joy. Because they have won! They have won the game! And the Japanese have lost. The Japanese team and their supporters are quiet in the wake of their loss. You do not move, almost as if if you did, the bleachers would crack open, the earth beneath the gymnasium would cave in and you would be falling to the floor, through the soil and to the core of the earth.

The three men lift themselves up from the floor with the weight of defeat on their shoulders and their teammates pat their backs silently, looking solemn but trying to be as encouraging as possible. The team gathers at the end line of the court and another whistle blows, signalling both teams to bow. When Ishikawa's eyes hit the floor, so do the tears.

He cries in silent agony, somehow feeling like it is all his fault. He is the captain, he should have led them better than this. He is the ace, he should have been able to hit pass those blocks. He knew hitting hard was risky, he should have been more careful. He should have moved faster, reacted faster, gotten to the ball faster. He should have been sharper, more alert, better. He should have been better.

His teammates shed a few tears too, but not quite nearly as much as Ishikawa. It's unrelenting— his tears. It doesn't want to stop, even when Ishikawa roughly wipes at his eyes in frustration, desperately wanting the raw showing of emotion to stop. Everyone can see him cry in this moment and he hates it.

When Ishikawa and his team begin to move off the court, is when you break from your stunned daze. Quite frankly, you were shocked speechless. You knew Brazil was a tough opponent but your faith in your boys would always trump any form of doubt. You knew they could do it. You knew they would be able to do it. Until they didn't.

You do not see the tears from quite so far away, but when you do, you are ripping yourself from your seat with such great speed, the people around you jump in surprise. You do not care, you do not even really notice before you are sprinting down the stairs, leaping from each flight, ignoring the desperate calls of your best friend and the shocked expressions directed at you as you race to the exit of the court.

"Ishikawa Yuki!" you yell just in case you don't catch them in time. You know you could just call him or meet him at his house but you came as a surprise, and though you'd wish you could surprise him after his victory, you think that surprising him and being able to comfort him in his loss will mean just as much.

At the sound of your voice, his head whips around, eyes wide in shock as he desperately searches the people for your face, eyes glassy with unshed tears and vision slightly blurry. You jump off the rest of the stairs, running to him with flailing arms. And when Ishikawa sees you, you swear you see his lips pout, eyes glossing over as tears run down his face.

You grin and run to him and he drops everything, his water bottle, his towel, his jacket, everything, so that he can hold his arms open for you to run into and give him a big hug. And you do exactly that. You run straight into his arms, wrapping your arms around his torso and shoving your face into his chest, not caring at all that he is drenched in sweat (and possibly tears), not caring at all that almost the whole gymnasium full of people can see the two of you have such an intimate moment, not caring at all because Ishikawa Yuki, the love of your life, is in tears and you have to do everything in your power to stop that.

Ishikawa's arms wrap around you too, holding you so tight and dear to him, you swear the both of you stop breathing. And with you in his arms, he finally crumbles to the floor, tears spilling from his eyes and sobs escaping his throat in ugly, high-pitched hiccups. But he doesn't care, you don't care, he's safe as long as you're here.

"When did you get here? I thought you were only going to touchdown tomorrow," he whispers in between sobs, his shaking, swollen hand coming up to your hair and entangling his fingers with the strands messily. You pull away slightly and pull Ishikawa down so that your chin rests on his shoulder and he can bury his face into your neck, your hand coming up to his sweaty hair to run your fingers through the corse, tangled strands as Ishikawa continues to cry in your arms. This position is so incredibly uncomfortable. After all, Ishikawa is insanely tall and the top of your head doesn't even really reach his neck, and you're sure Ishikawa's back is going to hurt a little later but he doesn't seem to mind at all at the position change, indulging in you as he shoves his face into the crook of your neck, hot breaths that tickle your skin, coming out in pants as he struggles to control his sobs.

"I wanted to surprise you," you say with a fond smile, the hand that was idle on his back coming up to send a wave to his teammates when your eyes meet, even sending one to his coach, who just smiles bitterly at you. His teammates send you rueful smiles and thumbs-ups of approval before they make their way back to the locker rooms, leaving you and Ishikawa to continue embracing at the exit of the court.

Ishikawa lets out a tearful laugh, saying, "Well, I'm surprised alright. I was just thinking about you when you called my name. I almost thought I was seeing things.".

You laugh but do not reply, allowing a comfortable silence to take over as Ishikawa lets all his emotions out in the form of hot, regretful tears. Your hand continues to soothe him with pats and strokes to his back and your hand remains in his hair. Ishikawa's large hands fist your shirt at your waist as his tears and sweat seep into your shirt. You don't mind. Of course, if this were anyone else you would. But this is Ishikawa Yuki, and you love him more than anything else in this world.

"You played so well," you whisper after a while of silence. You can feel Ishikawa wanting to pull away from you but you do not allow him, knowing full well that he wants to pull away to argue with you, to debunk your words with his incessant humility, so you do not allow him. You do not allow him to deny himself the praise he very much deserves because he's worked hard for this, no matter the outcome, he and his teammates have worked his ass off for this, and the least you can do is praise him.

"Yuki, you played very well. Don't try and deny it," you say with a firm voice, hand on his head keeping his chin to your shoulder. At this, he finally laughs and you loosen your grip, allowing him to pull out of your embrace just enough for him to see your face.

His cheeks are tear-stained and his eyes are beginning to puff up with all his crying, red beginning to bloom at the corner of his eyes, slowly taking over the white. His smile is nothing short of breathtaking, swollen eyes and red lips curled up brilliantly, smile lines and the corners of his eyes creasing sweetly. You can't help but grin back when you see his smile, nose souring with endearment.

"You know me so well," he comments, fingers coming up to tuck strands of your hair behind your ear, fingers trailing down your jaw to your chin, tilting your face up just a little bit more. His fingers guide your head just slightly forward before he is meeting you halfway in a sweet kiss, grinning immediately after your lips meet his.

Ishikawa's eyes trace over your every feature, observing, remembering, ingraining; tracing over the curve of your eyes, the slope of your nose, the perk of your lips, the peak of your eyebrows, and the line of your jaw, fingers ghosting over each feature along with his eyes, all the while maintaining the smile on his lips.

Then, he is giving your forehead a sweet kiss before pulling out of your embrace fully, turning around to pick up the things he had dropped when you came running into his arms. He brushes off his jacket and drapes it across your shoulders, holding open the jacket for you to slip your arms into the sleeves, to which you do, before he is hooking the zip and zipping it all the way up to your chin.

In his mind, he laughs at the way you are dwarfed by his jacket. Your hands can barely be seen, only the tips of your fingers peeking out from the sleeves, and the jacket, where it usually ends at his hip, ends almost at your knees. Unconsciously, he smiles and has to physically restrain himself from pinching your cheeks.

After he zips up his jacket, he bends down to pick up his towel, draping it over his shoulder before he is bending down once again to pick up his water bottle, having set them down to help you put on his jacket. Then, without a word but with the largest, goofiest grin, he takes your hand in his and leads you out of the court and to the locker rooms in a comfortable silence, fingers intertwined with yours.

For a second there, he almost forgets that they lost the game and are not able to proceed to the quarter-finals. For a second there, he almost completely forgets about his regrets and anger and frustration. And it's all because of you. And of course, he is eternally grateful to you. After all, what on earth would he do without you? He would still be crying his ass off, that's what, though he would never admit it out loud. And it is because of this reason— though he would do it without a reason at all— that he kisses you a little longer, hugs you a little tighter, loves you a little more.

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Once upon a time in NYU- MGG AU

Fandom: MGG, Criminal Minds

Pairing: College!Matthew X College!Reader

Summary: you couldn't stand Matthew, and he couldn't stand you. But you couldn't say the same when you were in his bed

Warnings: alternative universe, enemies to lovers relationship, cursing duh, hair pulling, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, bad writing basically

WC: 6.1k 

A/N: so I saw I think it was @eideticmemory​ write an enemies to lovers college fic and like a light just went on in my head, and I really wanted to that because I've always wanted to, but also give it my own twist and touch of course, so I guess this my attempt at writing a multi-chapter Matthew fic. Will I succeed? Probably not. But it's a good excuse to write smut after a year so we'll see. ALSO HUGE TW I understand posting this now might be a bit of a bad timing. So if you think that reading this will trigger you in any way, just go ahead and skip this one. I dont want to trigger anyone in any way, I just want to entertain you guys and myself in the process so yeah, read at your own risk and please please stay safe. And this is going to be a bit long so strap in yall and enjoy the poorly written sin. 

Andddd huge huge thanks to my friend Kara (idk if shes reading this but yeah) for helping me edit this, she helped me make this so much better for you guys and she literally so amazing for actually spending the time to help me. So yeah, 

You know when something bad happens, you’re always told to see the bright side of things? That maybe that unfortunate event isn’t as bad as you feel it is? Yeah, well, that doesn’t always apply, and it certainly didn’t when I found out I was partnered with the one person I was hoping I wouldn’t get paired with for my end of the semester film project. 

Seriously, out of the nearly hundred students that were enrolled in my film class, I had to get paired up with him, him out of all people, literally the one person I was praying wouldn't get paired up with. Not only because I was forced to work with someone, because honestly all I wanted was to work alone, I had to get paired with Matthew fucking Gubler.

You know when people say God has his favourites? Yeah, well I certainly wasn't one of them.

Now, I didn’t necessarily hate Matthew Gubler. I didn't hate him for no reason, I didn't just wake up one day and decided I was just going to hate Matthew. There was a time where I actually liked him, I liked him more than I'd like to admit, deep down I still did. And I knew he liked me too, he did then at least. And we were good together, it was fun, we had a fun first couple of dates. To this day, they were the nicest dates I ever had, because he knew just how to make them special. I mean, when a guy takes you to the Neue Galerie here in New York and have nice long walk through Central Park, a walk filled with laughter and bliss, it has to be special, and in a weird way, he was special too. 

And as much as I wanted more than just two or three dates, I would've been perfectly fine if he had told me what he wanted from the start. If he had suddenly changed his mind about me, I would've accepted it, and I would've been able to live a happy life as his friend if that's what he wanted.

But he didn't, and instead I found out he had other interests. And I didn't hear it from him, I heard it from my friend. She didn't even need to tell me who it was, because the minute she told me where he took her, I knew. He took her to the same place he took me not even two weeks later and then acted like I was nothing the next time he saw me. And my god did that fucking hurt. It hurt me in a way I had never been hurt before, because I thought he was different, I was hoping he was. And convincing myself that I hated him was much easier than facing the fact that it hurt. And I never addressed it ever again, not that Matthew cared enough to actually talk about us, or, whatever we were. So instead we just made each other's existence miserable.

No, what I felt for Matthew wasn't hate, it was just the strong need to stay ten feet away from him so I wouldn't shove a five foot pole up his ass. That's how I felt about Matthew Gubler.

And now, here I was, aggressively shoving my laptop and notebook into my bag so I could leave the auditorium as quickly as possible, or at least quick enough to avoid Matthew, because knowing how he was, he would come straight to me to rub our partnership in my face. And I was right, because the minute we were dismissed, I spotted his lanky frame starting to come down from the top rows where he usually sat, and he was headed my way.

Screaming a big nope in my head, I strapped my bag over my shoulder and headed straight for the exit. I knew I couldn't avoid him forever, especially now but, I just needed a minute to mentally prepare myself to deal with him, a minute and probably a bottle of booze. But I didn't get either because the minute I was out those doors, I heard the unmistakable sound of his voice calling my name. 

Great.

"Y/N! Y/N wait!" I heard Matthew call out, followed my rushed footsteps coming from behind me.

"Hey, partner, I'm glad I caught you before you left. You weren't trying to run away from me were you?" He teased, throwing one of his particularly long arms over my shoulder.

If I had rolled my eyes any harder they probably would've gotten stuck there. I groaned, grabbing a hold of his arm and unwrapping it not so subtly before dropping it beside him, "first of all, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't touch me,  and second of all, just please go away, Matthew. I have a class I have to get to." I muttered, walking slightly faster and keeping my gaze forward, refusing to even look at him.

If there was something I've learned about Matthew in the two long years I've known him is that he usually goes away on his own if I don't give him the attention he wanted. I was hoping this was one of those times, because I was not in the mood to deal with him right now.

But alas, he didn't, he walked faster, staying beside me the whole time. "But I wasn't even doing anything. I was just saying hi." He defended, and I could just hear the smile on his face even when I wasn't even looking at him. 

I rolled my eyes harder, letting out a small breath through my lips, "what do you want Matthew?"

"When can we meet up? I already have an idea for our project and I think you're going to love it."

I chuckled sarcastically, finding his words actually hilarious, "If you came up with it I seriously doubt it." I sighed heavily, digging my teeth into my bottom lip before speaking, "tonight after I finish my shift, I guess. The quicker we can start, the quicker we can get it over with, soo..."

"Great. It's a date then, see you tonight, sweetheart." He hummed, ghosting his lips over my ear, his lips smacking loudly as he pretended to kiss it before he quickly took off in the other direction before I could even say anything.

This fucking guy.

~~~~~~~~~~

"I seriously do not understand how you fucking dated this guy, he's so obnoxious and annoying, how could anyone want to date someone like that." I complained to my friend and roommate Liz. I met her for a quick lunch break before my afternoon class and I just had to let her know how unhappy I was about my partnership with Matthew. She was amused to say the least.

"You make it sound like we dated for years, we dated for a few months, but he's not even that bad." she argued.

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest and leaned back into my seat with an unamused expression, just waiting for Liz to bury herself further up Matthew's ass. I always had the feeling she still had feelings for him, as much as she insisted it was just a meaningless relationship. And as much as they were just friends now, I just knew she wanted more with him. But it wasn't really my place to question that, not that it mattered to me anyway.

"He's a pretty cool and fun guy to be around, you just never gave him a chance. You've hated him ever since you met him for absolutely no reason, you never gave yourself the chance to get to know him better." Liz insisted, she always did. She always insisted Matthew was such a great guy I never gave the change to get to know. 

I had let out a heavy sigh in annoyance of her defense of Matthew before responding, "yeah well, it doesn't really matter since I'm being forced to anyway. And he's coming over tonight to start our project. Can't fucking wait."

I could've sworn I saw Liz's expression change into a mixture of surprise and something I could've easily confused with jealousy. She pursed her lips together and her eyes darted everywhere, like she was avoiding making any kind of eye contact with me.

But, it couldn't be jealousy? What even is there to be jealous of? Her and the whole world knew how I felt about Matthew, her out of all people knew it better than anyone.

"Oh, he is? Well, I'm not really going to be home tonight, I would've given you company so it wouldn't be so awkward with him." She frowned, she sounded disappointed, angry even. She looked uncomfortable, like she was deeply bothered by something, by something I said.

It was weird, I wasn't exactly sure what to say, I wasn't really sure why my news seemed to bother her as much as it did. It's not like I was going to sleep with Matthew while she was away or something. It didn't really matter though, I didn't have time to answer. Thank God.

"I'm sorry Liz but I have to go, I have class in like ten minutes." I excused myself, eating whatever was left on my plate in a matter of seconds before I stood up from my seat and gathered my belongings, "I'll see you later and wish me luck." I said quickly before taking off, not giving her the chance to respond.

~~~~~~~~~~

Usually, I pray for shifts to be over as soon as possible, for it to be slow so I can go home early. Today though, today I prayed for just the opposite. I was hoping the end of my shift wouldn't come, and when it did, that it would be too late and I would be able to cancel my meet up with Matthew.

But like I said, I wasn't one of God's favourites. And today out of all days, it was the slowest it has ever been and my shift ended rather quickly, quicker than I had hoped.

Groaning loudly at the evening that awaited me, I walked down the long halls of my floor, standing outside of my dorm room, dreading my evening already.

Figuring I should just get it over with, I went to get the key on the lock of my door, but noticed it was already unlocked. Liz probably forgot to lock the door, again. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at my stupid roommate before turning the knob, opening the door. And my jaw dropped the minute I stepped into the room, not believing what my eyes saw.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"Matthew, what the fuck are you doing in my dorm and in my bed!? How did you even get in here?" I nearly screamed at the tall brunette that was carelessly laying on my bed with what I figured was one of my books in his hand.

Matthew turned his head towards me, a carefree and calm look plastered all over his face before his eyes went back to the pages in front of him., "oh, well, Liz let me in before she went to work. I hope you don't mind." He responded nonchalantly, continuing to flick through the pages of the book he had in his hand.

I stared at him with absolute disbelief and a loud scoff left my lips as I slightly pitched the bridge of my nose, trying not to throw the nearest object at his face, "yes, I do mind, in fact. You can't just come into somebody's dorm, lie on their bed and go through their stuff. Seriously dude, what is wrong with you?"

I just couldn't believe this guy. He just knew how to get on my nerves without even doing anything. 

Matthew, of course, couldn't have cared any less about whatever I was saying. And it wasn't that he wasn't listening, because he was, he had that stupid smile on his face that proved he was in fact listening to every word I was saying. He just didn't care, or he did, but he just liked getting on my nerves. He loved pushing every single one of my buttons until I snapped. And I had no idea why. I had no idea why he liked annoying me so much.

I exhaled heavily through my nose, closing my eyes slightly as I ran a hand through my hair exasperatedly, "I just can't fucking deal with you. I can't." I huffed, dropping my bag from my shoulder and walked to the opposite side of my room, facing away from him, not even wanting to look at his face.

"Tell me something, sweetheart," Matthew spoke, curiosity and a slight bit of amusement lingering on his words.

"What."

"Why do you hate me so much? You've hated me ever since I dated Liz back in our first year of college and I never truly understood why," he questioned with genuine curiosity, but there was also a certain playfulness in his voice. I opened my mouth to answer, still not facing him, and I was so ready to tell him off, god knows I've been wanting to but he cut me off. "Is it because I never slept with you?"

My eyes instantly widened at his words, a clearly offended scoff leaving my lips as I turned around to face him, "what? No, of course not, I—" my words got caught in my throat when I saw his tall frame towering over me, my eyes getting stuck on his chest before they traveled up to his face, and he was close. Extremely close. I swallowed thickly, feeling slightly cornered by his significantly taller frame so I stepped back, trying to create some kind of distance between us, but he simply followed me. "I, uhm, that's not why I don't like you, Matthew. I don't like you because you're an insensitive asshole and—"

"Oh, I know why you hate me," he cut me off again, slowly running his tongue to wet his perfectly pink lips. "You hate me because I dated Liz and not you."

His proclamation made my eyes grow even wider and my mouth hung open as I stammered for words. I wanted to disagree, I truly wanted to tell him that he was wrong. But honestly, he wasn't altogether wrong. I couldn't say some of my resentment didn't come from a deep rooted feeling of rejection. Because while most of that resentment came from that place of genuine hurt, my resentment was fueled by frustration and a shameless sense of envy.

But it was just easier to convince myself that I hated him than to admit that I still liked him and that it hurt me that he chose my friend over me.

But of course, I would never admit to that, especially not to him.

Avoiding eye contact, I looked down and shook my head, running my tongue to wet my suddenly dry lips, "of-of course not. Why—why would I care about your dating life? You can fuck whoever you want, I don't care." I wish I sounded more confident when I said that. But my stuttering words and my unsteady legs gave him exactly what he wanted.

And the bastard actually chuckled. He fucking chuckled.

"But you do, you do care. You care because you haven't stopped thinking about us and me since our first year." He grinned, digging his teeth into his perfect lips as he brought a hand to cup my face, lifting it so I had no other choice but to look at him.

And I was fucking gone.

It was like, all of that anger, frustration and hatred just vanished and instead turned into longing want. Want for him to just take me and do whatever he pleases with me. I was practically nothing in his hands, and I was nothing waiting for him to make me something. Waiting for him to make me his.

And that absolutely delighted the bastard. He found amusement in having the power I never allowed him to have. But right now, I just couldn't fight it.

I always knew that if I ever found myself alone and in this situation with Matthew Gubler, I would lose, no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise.

And he knew that too.

"That's it, isn't? You want me to fuck you like I fucked your friend." He smirked, almost like he was proud to say it. And he stared, his usually soft amber eyes now brown and darkened with want.

Who the fuck was this guy and where did Matthew go? Matthew Gubler was the most awkward and disgraceful guy when it came to women. The poor guy couldn't even flirt his way out of a wet paper bag. And yet, somehow, here he was, with this new found confidence and the ability to turn me into a shaking and stuttering mess. Who fucking knew.

Once again, I stammered for words, I truly wanted to tell him otherwise. I wanted to scream in his face and push him away, but I couldn't. Not that I wanted to.

He took my lack of response as the answer he was looking for and brought his other hand to my waist, backing me up against the nearest wall, caging me between the hard surface behind me and his body, which right now, seemed so much bigger than mine.

My breathing instantly skyrocketed as I felt the same hand that was on my waist sneak its way past the ends of my dress and up my bare thighs, ones that shook like an earthquake as the pads of his fingers slowly rubbed the tense skin. Like he was testing the waters. Testing how well my body reacted to his touch.

And it wasn't subtle. At all.

"W-what—what are you doing?" I almost squealed, my voice practically betraying me.

"Oh? Well, I'm just giving you what you wanted. I'm giving you what you've been wanting for years." He stated so casually, like he had no idea what he was doing to me. And just as casually, he slowly ran a finger over the thin cotton fabric of my underwear, touching me, but definitely not in the way I needed to be touched.

I wished my body didn't betray me like it did though. I couldn't even hold back the breathy moan that escaped my lips when his fingers made contact with the thin material. But Matthew certainly loved the response I gave him.

"Because this is what you've been wanting, isn't it? You've been thinking about how my fingers would feel buried inside your little cunt. Or how good you would feel around my cock." He taunted, it was almost cynical just how easily those filthy words rolled off his usually reserved tongue. "I'm not gonna lie, I've thought about it too, you have no idea how many times I've thought about having your filthy mouth wrapped around me. Or how pretty you would look begging me for more." 

I opened my mouth to speak but my words instantly got caught in my throat when the sneaky bastard pulled the fabric to the side and dipped his fingers into the soaking mess that was my core.

And if there were any rational thoughts still hanging in my head, all of those just went straight out the window when another moan erupted from my throat and my head fell back into the wall behind me.

"See just how much easier things are when you just shut the fuck up and stop fighting so much?" He almost whispered, his lips ghosting over the skin on my neck as a lithe finger gathered my wetness and spread it over my clit.

Despite being a complete whimpering mess at that point, I managed to spit out a surprisingly harsh, "fuck you." 

It was a pretty convincing retort. One that didn't exactly have the effect I hoped for though.

I could feel him smirk into my neck as his lips left wet and sloppy kisses into the skin before he pulled back, just so he could see the look of utter want and frustration on my face.

"Hm, sorry sweetheart, I can't do that. I'm too busy trying to fuck you instead."

I swear to god, he was the biggest asshole I have ever met in my entire fucking life. But he was an asshole who immediately slipped two of his sinfully long fingers into my dripping core. I instantly choked on my own breath as he began working his fingers around the muscles, stroking the digits inside me at an agonizingly slow pace.

"Because that's what you want don't you sweetheart? You want to me to fuck you into that mattress until you can't keep your eyes open?" He continued, his filthy words making me pant like I ran for fucking miles. "I do too, trust me I do. And I will, I promise. But I want to make up for all of the lost time. Don't you?"

I wasn't even paying attention to whatever filthy proclamations were coming out of Matthew's mouth, with my eyes nearly closed, my mouth slightly open and my mind only focusing on his fingers working diligently inside me, how could I?

But Matthew was expecting an answer this time. Because I could feel his darkened eyes glare into my face and his fingers immediately stilled inside me. Earning a loud whine from me.

"I asked you a question, answer me."

It took me a minute to remember his question before I quickly nodded, "yes! Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear?" I nearly screamed at his face, my hands coming to clutch his shirt, needing something to relieve some tension.

"I want to hear you say it. Say it, tell me you want me." He demanded, his eyes locking with mine as he waited for what he wanted to hear.

He wanted me to beg, he wanted me to give up that control I never allowed him to have. And was I going to?

Absolutely.

I needed to.

"I want you, Matthew, I want you to take me and fuck me into that mattress until I can't walk straight. Please."

I guess that was the answer Matthew had been looking for because his fingers immediately began to work diligently inside me again, stroking the digits until he had me whimpering and begging for release.

It wasn't long before my head started to spin and stars began to blur my vision. Words were no longer an option at that point, nothing would come out, not even Matthew's name. All I could manage to let out were pathetic, strangled moans. But he could tell I was close, or I figured that much because his fingers only worked faster around my tightening walls, determined to finish me.

"C'mon sweetheart, come for me." he encouraged through gritted teeth as his fingers were anything but still inside me and his palm applied a crushing pressure into my front. And even when my eyes were half closed and my mind had turned into dust, I could see the look of utter determination on his face, his eyebrows were furrowed as his teeth dug into his perfectly plump lips. It was like his only focus was on driving me over the edge. And he succeeded.

The second his fingers curled, I was fucking gone. My orgasm hit me like a tidal wave. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I cried out his name like a praise, my body nearly spasming against the wall. But his fingers didn't stop until my whole body shook to the point where my legs no longer supported my weight and I practically slid into the wall as I tried to catch my breath.

It was almost dizzying just how quickly Matthew withdrew his fingers from me and hoisted me up on his slim torso. He wasted absolutely no time in striding over to my bed across the room. My whole body collided with my bed so quickly and forcefully it knocked the air out of my chest.

Matthew was practically ripping away his clothes before I could even sit up or catch my breath. Like he had this urgency to do what I've been avoiding for the past two years. Like he needed to do it, right now, like something would happen before he got the chance to.

"Matthew—"

"Shut up, I've heard enough shit from you for the past two years, and I'm fucking tired of it." He almost growled, his usually soft voice coming out so low and dark it actually stroked fear in my heart. It was scary just how quickly his demeanor changed.

Matthew didn't really waste much time in discarding his clothes, he was down to only his boxers and was on top of me before I could even blink. He brought a hand to my chest and he pushed me down until my back was flat on the bed, but his hand stayed there, pinning me there as he hovered over me, trapping my significantly smaller body under his own.

He wasted no time in grabbing a hold of my dress and pulling it over my head. And I could've sworn I saw pure awe and infatuation flash through his eyes as they shamelessly eyed over my newly exposed skin. Come to think of it though, this was the first time I was this naked in front of him, and even then, I wasn't fully naked. Not yet anyway.

After a good minute, his eyes flickered back up to meet with mine, his previous look of awe quickly replaced by this feral look of want and pure desire. And I couldn't say it didn't excite me to see it.

He brought a hand to my face, running his smooth fingers over my face with a surprising amount of delicacy before he deep rooted them into my hair and slightly tilted my head back before he brought his face into mine, our lips crashing into a deep fervent kiss. I didn't realize we have never actually kissed. No wonder there was so much desperation and hunger within that kiss. We've been wanting this ever since we met, and ironically, I wanted it more.

His mouth was harsh and fervent against mine, his tongue wasting no time before it quickly slipped between my lips without much of a warning. His tongue explored every inch of my mouth and took as much control as he wanted to as he brought one of his hands to discard my brassiere, he struggled a bit at first but he managed to unhook it and discarded the flimsy material along with the rest of forgotten clothes. He pulled back to capture the image of my newly exposed skin. And he wasn't subtle, at all.

I almost felt intimidated under his deep and penetrating gaze as he shamelessly ogled my exposed body. I was completely exposed to him, completely vulnerable and right now, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with me. And that scared me, it scared me just how quickly he took control over me after years of fighting against it.

With a hard swallow and a bob of his Adam's apple, Matthew slowly licked his lips, scraping his teeth against his slightly swollen bottom lip in a way that almost made me roll my eyes back into my head. But I didn't, instead I just locked eyes with him as he brought his face down and wrapped his lips around one of my breasts and his tongue swirled around the sensitive bud almost expertly, using one of his hands to toy with the other.

"O-oh fuck." I couldn't help but helplessly moan into the air as my hands found their way into his mop of brown curls. This reaction certainly delighted the bastard above me because I could feel his eyes burning into my face and his lips curving into a smirk around me before he slowly pulled back, latching on to my nipple as he pulled off it.

"You have a very filthy mouth, jeez." He tisked, slightly shaking his head disaprovingly but still had that fucking smirk of his.

Clearly, I wasn't amused, in the slightest, so his stupid comment earned him a nice and concise, "fuck you." 

But then again, it didn't have the effect I hoped for.

"Mhm, yeah, you're about to." He retorted one last time before bringing his face back up to mine, capturing me in a heated and messy kiss that only worked as distraction from the journey Matthew's hands took down south. I was only brought back to reality when I felt my underwear being ripped away and the cool air hitting me. And he was quick to pull down his own boxers and allowed his length to spring free. And I couldn't even play off the fact that I had to stare, my mouth slightly hanging open at the sight of him.

"You're so cute when you stare." He taunted, his words being fairly tame in contrast to his very dark and not innocent tone. The sound of his voice made me flicker my eyes to meet his face. Big mistake, because the borderline devious smirk on his face didn't help, at all. And it certainly didn't help when he positioned himself between my legs, rubbing himself on my already dripping heat.

"You do have condoms here, right?" He asked, but I wasn't paying attention, with him rubbing himself on my slick, I couldn't really pay much attention to anything. "I could just fuck you bareback, I'm clean, so I don't care. But it's up to you." He spoke again, slightly teasing my entrance with the tip of his length, hoping to actually get my attention, and I actually listened this time.

Biting my lip, I mentally cursed at my lack of sexual activity because it just so happened that I had no condoms. Matthew gave me an expectant look, not to pressure me, but just waiting impatiently. I knew if I told him to stop he would without a second thought, but he would just leave. I wasn't going to make that mistake twice.

"I'm clean too, just," I chewed on my bottom lip, already shuddering with anticipation as I hooked my legs around his slim torso, pulling him closer, "just take me, please just fucking take me already."

I didn't have to say it twice.

Without a second thought, he propped himself up on his arms and pressed his face against mine as he slammed into me in one swift motion. A strangled moan erupted from my throat as he buried himself to the hilt, stretching me open at once. And fuck, the feeling of him inside me was intoxicating, addicting even, I don't think I've ever felt like this before.

This was so fucking wrong. So wrong, so wrong to be fucking the guy my friend dated, so wrong to be fucking the guy I swore to everyone I hated. It was just wrong. So why the hell did it feel so right? It was so perfectly right the way our bodies felt together, like they simply belonged there, buried deeply within one another. I never wanted to stop feeling like this.

It was almost dizzying just how good he felt. And with the quick and fervent pace he set for himself right from the start, I knew I probably wouldn't last long. With my eyes rolled into my head, my open mouth and my body sprawled out on the bed as I tried to find something to hold on to, he probably had one hell of a view. And he enjoyed it too, because his thrusts only became harsher.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're so fucking beautiful," he cursed through gritted teeth, his hands holding my hips down with a vice like grip, making sure I couldn't move. And it wasn't for lack of trying. My body shook and shuddered like a fucking earthquake around him but he simply held me down as he continued.

"You feel so good too. I can't believe you made me wait two fucking years for this. Fuck." He nearly shouted, slamming into me with an insane amount of force and clenched his eyes shut, almost as if the thought made him angry, "two fucking years to take what was mine."

His. He called me his.

Fuck, I wish those filthy words didn't have such a strong effect on me, but boy did they make a number on me. I couldn't even hold back the guttural cry that erupted from my chest as I nodded feverishly, not really realizing what I was nodding to. 

"Yes! Fuck yes, Matthew, I'm yours!" I almost screamed, saying whatever incoherent thoughts flashed through my mind, letting the whole floor know just how much fun I was having and with whom. And with my mind and thoughts being too clouded by the feeling of him, I didn't even think about what those words entailed.

But it didn't matter because they served their purpose regardless. I wasn't expecting just how much the words actually affected him, because his hips began to falter, his thrusts becoming longer but impossibly deeper. And I could see how concentrated he was, with sweat forming on his forehead, his teeth digging into his bottom lip and his breath was hard and short, like this was a task he was determined to finish. He was determined to ruin me.

Letting out a guttural and nearly animalistic groan, Matthew grabbed a hold of my hips and raised them so that each thrust would make him bottom out inside of me, knowing just how close we both were to our release. "Yeah, that's right, sweetheart, let the whole floor know who's making you feel this good," he growled as he gave one last final but brutal thrust, digging his fingers into my hips so tight I just knew I would have bruises tomorrow as he held me down on him, "let the whole floor know you're mine."

And just like that, my orgasm crashed into me, Matthew's harsh words of ownership sending me into a euphoric state of pleasure, my lips chanting his name like a mantra and my walls tightening around him as he came deeply into me, my own name rolling off his tongue in a quiet praise. And the utter and absolute look of ecstasy on his face made up for the bruises I would have to hide for the next few days and for the two years we've made each other's life a living hell. Because right now, seeing that look of being completely fucked, I just wanted nothing more than to just stay like this.

The second we were no longer blinded by our highs, he fell forward, nearly crushing me under his weight as he struggled to get himself up. Yeah he looked fucked alright. Despite knowing damn well he could've easily rolled off me, he didn't, he simply rested his head on my chest and closed his eyes like he was just going to sleep there. A small smile made its way to my lips at the sight of his tousled brown curls on my chest, ignoring all logic, I ran my fingers through the messy locks, and they were in fact as soft as they always looked. 

Realizing just how bad this was for me, and just how vulnerable I actually looked, I smacked his forehead, successfully earning a glare from him once he lifted his head, looking dead at me with his now soft amber eyes.

"You're crushing me, you ass, get off." I breathed out and rolled my eyes, being too exhausted to try and get him off myself. And knowing just how easily he corrupted me, I didn't need another thing to make this harder.

"Okay, okay, jeez." Matthew rolled his eyes, letting his head back into my chest exhaustively and groaned tiredly into my chest before he gathered just enough strength to roll off me and collapsed beside me, his reddened and sweaty chest still rising and falling unevenly as he was still trying to steady his breathing. And I was trying, too. And we just stared, we stared at each other, saying nothing. There was nothing to be said. It was better that way.

After a long long while of silently staring at each other, he brought a hand to my face and rested it there, his thumb mindlessly rubbing over the warm skin of my cheek and he smiled, he simply smiled. And it felt good, it felt comforting, sweet even, it was a funny contrast after what he just did to me.

"So.. About our project.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list:

Matthew Gray Gubler

All- @aberrant-annie @marauder-exe @vquezada84 @boiled-onionrings @writeronkeyboard @l0ve-0f-my-life @mariaramz @soederberg

OUaT in NYU-

So I'm starting a tag list for this fic because it will be a mini series so let me know if you'd like to be added to the once upon in NYU tag list

[happytsukki]

me, you, and us.

t. kuroo

genre: angst

wc: 1.5k

a/n: i’ve had writer’s block for a few days and i was about to just stick to reading bc i can’t write to save my life. was genuinely about to give up and just finish my smau LOL but here’s my attempt to keep going ;-; should i write a pt 2? dont know if its better left at that sooo you should tell me your thoughts!

“look, i’m happy for you, really y/n,” kuroo hesitates and inhales sharply. his fingers fidget around the mug laid in front of him, eyes avoiding the look tinged with concern painted across your face. “but what about us? you said— no we said we would do this whole adult thing together. we would build our lives in tokyo with our family and friends. you would become a lawyer, i would become a scientist. then, we could start a family, have mini me’s running around here,” he shudders, his voice growing increasingly weary with every word. his chest heaves up and down as he fights the urge to cry out in frustration.

three years. it’s been 3 long, glorious years since kuroo confessed his feelings to you back at nekoma. and what first began as something simply platonic blossomed into an enduring type of love that allowed the two of you to brush past all the obstacles. first, it was conflicting time schedules at work, then it was that overly flirty coworker that seemed to constantly cling on to him, and there was also the ex-boyfriend trying to “befriend” you again ordeal; but despite all the struggles, your love reigned supreme and nothing seemed to separate the bond you two held.

and love to kuroo meant not only reminiscing in the first’s, and reveling in the now’s, but also dreaming about the what if’s. dreams that he so badly wanted to become a reality.

“i know, tetsu, but look,” you desperately plead, a hand reaching out to capture his face, jaw tightened and brows knitted tightly. your knees brush his thighs as you lean forward but he remains rigid in his position. you’ve never seen him like this, indignation underlying his despair. “it’s a paid internship with one of the best firms in the nation! imagine how many opportunities this opens up for me, no, i mean for us in the future. besides, distance has nothing on us, right?”

no matter how hard you tried to sound confident, it sounded too much like a question rather than an affirmation. you could feel the cracks emerging in your relationship. the doubts washing away the glue that held you two together against all the past ups and downs. and despite being only a few feet apart, you felt oceans away from the man in front of you.

“no,” he says sternly, recoiling from your touch. he stands and takes steps away from you, a pained expression staring right back at you. “there’s no us in this, y/n. this is all about you. you’re the one being selfish.” he snarls, pointing a hard finger at your face.

“don’t say that tetsu, that’s not true,” you shout back, rage stirring within the depths of your stomach. you couldn’t fathom how he was blaming you right now. you were fully certain that if he came home to you one day, rejoicing in news of an opportunity for his career path, you would cry out in jubilation. so the fact that he was doing quite the opposite made your blood boil.

“i thought you would be happy for me— but you’re just being a dick about it!” you scream, loud enough for your neighbors to hear past the thinly lined walls of your apartment, but you couldn’t care less. your emotions were high and there was no off switch to stop the flood of venom slipping out your lips.

“are you kidding me? i’m the one at fault here y/n?”

at this point, both of you are shouting at full volume, anger bouncing off each other, and chipping away at your hearts. how could the one you loved the most be the one who ended up hurting you the worst? you think to yourself, breaths growing ragged from your emotions.

“but you are tetsurou! why can’t you support me?” it’s tiring, and maybe it’s your mind fighting your heart, but whatever it was made you feel completely helpless. it was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, and each choice resulted in your own misery.

“what am i supposed to do while you pick up everything and move to the other side of the japan? did you expect me to come with you, or stay here and continue long distance? admit it, you didn’t even bother thinking about me in all of this, because i was never a part of your future!”

then there’s silence.

a deafening silence that was far too long on your part. and kuroo decides right there and then.

amid your scramble to find the right thoughts, right words to convince him, no— yourself that he was always in your mind, a priority in your heart, he storms off into the bedroom you shared.

you chase after him, legs absolutely numb as you attempt to drag your heavy feet across the carpeted floor. oh how quickly your anger dissipates and transforms into a painful sorrow.

“tetsu?” you whisper from behind him. your eyes fall onto the suitcase laid out on the bed, clothes overflowing from it. he hears you, but he doesn’t pause. he continues his fit of rage, walking back and forth from the dresser to throw his belongings into the suitcase. kuroo rummages through the drawers, leaving a mess behind everything he touches, but it didn’t matter at this point.

“don’t do this tetsu. please.” you cry out, hand clutching at the tighteness in your chest that made it difficult to find a breath. you find yourself following his every step, fingers reaching out for his but he dodges your desperation every time.

“why? you were gonna leave me anyway,” he hisses stridently behind his lashes brimming with tears, zipping the last of his stuff away in that little suitcase.

before he can walk through the door of your bedroom, you stop him and place your fists against his chest.

“look at me, tetsu. i love you. please, don’t do this,” you breathe. your hands go up to cup his face, sending shivers down his spine. as the pads of your thumbs delicately wipe away the tear stains, you can almost feel him lean into your touch. and for a moment, that hardened expression softened into the one you had grown to love for years. but it’s gone within seconds and your hands turn cold, missing his warmth.

“i’m only making this easier for you. now you don’t have to go through the pain of choosing, because i think we both know how this ends.” he sighs.

your forlorn whispers grow into desperate pleas for him to stay. but his feet don’t stop until he’s facing the front door, fingers grazing the silver knob that led to an escape from this situation, an escape from what he used to consider his paradise.

“don’t please. kuroo. tetsurou. i love you. don’t leave me.”

your sobs drive you to your knees and you reach for his arm one more time. maybe he’ll stay. maybe he’ll forgive you. maybe he’d still let you be a part of his future. you silently pray over and over, hoping that maybe the heavens could hear you and convince him. and those same thoughts run through kuroo’s mind but the words he was truly seeking for was nowhere to be found.

i won’t leave you.

that’s all he wished you would say. but minutes pass and he thinks it’s hopeless.

so he walks right out your life, just like that. he manages to mutter a sad “i love you too” before shutting the door but it’s far too quiet to be heard and you’re left alone in that empty, desolate apartment.

it’s cold, lacking the warmth that kuroo radiated from his mere presence. it’s dark, deprived of the brightness kuroo cast from his silly jokes and sweet words. so you’re sitting there, back against the door while you wretchedly wrap your arms around that old picture frame. it contained your graduation picture, lips pressed against kuroo’s as the team looks on proudly.

you start to think how funny it is how these memories that once made your heart swell with bliss became the monsters breaking down your very existence.

you’ve memorized every great and minute detail about him, but now you want to lock these up and throw away the key. it’s not out of regret or contempt, but protection against the guilt writhing away at your whole being.

and while you wept relentlessly, tears drenching your cheeks and the weight on your chest expanding, kuroo was lost.

how could the entire premise of his future slip out of his fingertips so easily?

a day ago, kuroo felt like he was on top of the world, basking in the vibrancy you continued to bring into his dull life. an itching sensation blossomed in his heart as he gushed to kenma over the idea of proposing, and of course, his best friend happily encouraged him to.

but within hours, an earthquake had sent tremors through his world. you were his entire foundation, a stabilizing rock against all the raging shakes and storms. but you weren’t his anymore.

without you, he lost the feeling of feeling. black and white darkening his world into nothingness.

[violetnotez]

Big Bro Dabi- (PLATONIC) Dabi x Reader

Anonymous: I saw request were opened and i wanted to request a dabi related one. It could be HC or a short story its all up to you, but what about the reader kinda of being a little sister to dabi? (Not by blood ) like she was a villain herself in the league and dabi and her get close and form a close brother sister bond, but after a mission shes left behind and captured by the heros what happens from there is up to you! But i always wanted to see how dabi would be in the role of a big bro

Omg anon this is such a cool idea I read this and I am completely in love with a big brother Dabi!!!

I broke this up into a mini fic, HC, and then the request is at the bottom (cause I may or may not have gone a little overboard with the idea *u*)

Also- this is a completely PLATONIC bother and sister relationship between y/n and Dabi, nothing romantic at all!

(RULES  | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

-----------

How You Met:

“Don't touch me!” the girl pleaded frantically, her hands and face covered in dirt and soot, her clothes tattered.

Dani stared at her terrified face, confusion riddled in his brows.

She didn’t look scared of him, no-she was scared of herself. Her arms were riddled with cuts and bruises from her quirk-she obviously didn’t have control over it.

A memory flitted into his body, making his body cringe from pain-he remembered when he couldn’t control his quirk, the effects of that permanently set into his skin.

He looked at the girl, empathy he hadn’t felt in a very long time filling his stomach. He crouched down, holding out a scarred hand.

The girl stared at him with shocked, tear stained eyes.

“Didn’t you listen to me?!?” you yelled, panic in your voice, “I said don’t touch me-I’m dangerous!”

“What’s so bad about being dangerous?” Dabi questioned, making you go silent.

“Your quirk isn’t a bad thing,” he continued, “it’s just powerful.”

He gave himself a small minute to think-if you could join the League and control that quirk of yours, you could be a good asset to the team. It was powerful, and even though you didnt have a handle on it right now, didnt mean you couldnt learn how to.

“Come with me,” he commanded gently, “I can help you-you won’t hurt yourself anymore.”

You kept staring at his hand, the purple skin becoming a blur in your tears.

“But I’ll hurt you.”

He chuckled darkly, shaking his head. 

“You won’t-you see how scarred my skin is? That’s because I couldn’t control my quirk either-the scarred skin doesn’t feel sensations all too well. But I learned though, and I'm fine.  And you will too-just take my hand. I promise you’ll be okay.”

You stared at his face, your chest heavily slightly with the comforting thought of being with someone who finally wanted to help you, and who understood what you were going through.

You slowly took his hand, allowing him to help you from the ground.

------------

Big Brother Dabi HC

Nobody knew how overprotective Dabi would be

He’s very good at giving you space, but if he sees any man so much as glance at you

He is going to give them a glare that could kill

It probably can

Pray for the boys that try to flirt or ask you out

You will have to literally restrain Dabi because he will want to char them to a crisp

Is a total dick all the time

Like he will randomly snatch up your phone and hold it up because he is a GIANT and smirk at you as you try and get it back

Will scold you for using cuss words but will use them himself

Hates seeing you cry- he will let you cry in peace first and then come after with your fav food and will listen to what’s wrong

If somebody actually made you cry- Jesus Christ he will find them and hurt them so bad they will have to go to the ER

This man dont play around

You and Toga will most likely be super close like sisters and all three of you will be wrecking havoc

You and Toga have begged Dabi to let you two do his makeup 

Always tells you straight up “Hell no”

Doesn’t mean you won’t put it on his face when he sleeps right?

Almost burnt your face off when he woke up and found himself gliterry eyeliner and lipstick

Asks you for help when he dyes his hair and you have to get a step stool to reach his head

He is so TALLLLL

Is constantly forcing you to train 

He knows you hate it and he isn’t very fond of it either but it’s good bonding time

But he’s just terrified he’ll lose you in battle one day and he can’t even stand the idea of it

------------

FIC: Getting Taken Hostage By the Heroes

“Holy shit-Dabi!” you gasped, pointing at the bodies coming towards you ,the sound of poilce sirens filling the air.

Dabi followed your outstretched finger, seeing why you were so worried- you two had been cornered in a matter of seconds.

“How the hell did they figure out our plan?” Dabi asked as you both broke out in a run, trying to get hidden in the trees of the forest you were currently in.

Shigaraki had split up the League earlier in order to get a better success of the mission- Him and Black Mist would be giving commands, while Toga and Twice actually went in to do the dirty work of the mission. All you and Dabi had to do was keep watch outside, something you both found insignificant and boring. But you didn't expect the police to show up, let alone the Heroes.

“How the hell- am I supposed to know?!” you panted, trying to keep up with Dabi’s pace. “We just need to get out-”

Footsteps were getting louder behind you, shouts of the Heroes trying to follow your path making your heart beat reverently against your rib cage. You didn't want to think about getting caught by the heroes- you knew they couldn't do anything to harm you, it was against their whole moral basis for their profession, but the thought of going on trial and dealing with not being free to do what you wanted made your spine shiver. You would never let somebody control your life- you’d rather die than do that.

Dabi kept on running, the night making it hard to see in front of him. He secretly felt grateful for having such a tall stature, because he was able to run quickly and get some distance with the heroes. You, though, weren't so lucky- he was hoping that you were holding up and able to follow him, even if you had a hard time keeping up. The heroes sounded to be getting closer, and he couldn't help but feel a small jolt of fear: if they caught him or you, you both would be done for, and he couldn't stand the idea of you getting caught-

A scream filled the night air, making his blood run cold.

“DABI!” you shrieked, feeling a rough hand wrap around your arm. One of the heroes had finally caught up to you, using his powerful strength to pull you from running back to Dabi. 

Dabi swiveled around, unable to find you. God damn it- he should have checked to make sure you were right behind him. What the hell was he thinking? Dabi cursed at himself, panic and fury filling in his stomach as he heard his name being screamed again.

He looked at the trees, trying to figure out which opening would lead to you. Why the hell did you have to get caught?

He quickly decided on a direction, going into a sprint as anger began to rise in his stomach. Whoever caught you and was making you that scared was going to fucking pay- nobody hurt the people he loved.

Dabi had begun to regard you like a sister, seeing alot of himself in you: you at first had trouble controlling your quirk, making you feel terrified of yourself and weak. But as he began to train you, he realized he found himself growing to like you: you were snarky, sarcastic as hell, and silly enough to even make him chuckle a little. You were beginning to be something of a little sister to him, and he was willing to do anything to protect you.

“Stop squirming!” the hero commanded, his strength making your arm begin to tingle with pain.

“Go to hell!” you spat back, not caring you were being disrespectful. 

“DABI!” you screamed again, continuing to fight against the hero. You felt trapped, like a prey getting caught by a predator.

You heard another pair of feet run behind you, your heart sinking seeing that they were not Dabi’s but yet another Hero.

“You caught one of them?” the new comer asked, making you shoot daggers into their eyes.

“Yes, but she’s not cooperating,” the other struggled to say as you fought against their grip.

The new Hero looked at your with scorn, your desperate attempts to flee making him frown.

“Maybe some time at the station will make them calm down,” they commented, the other nodding in agreement.

You eyes became wide with fear, your stomach feeling heavy. 

“Your both fucking hilarious, thinking I’m going to go there! Your asses are going to be dead!” you retorted, making them both a little shocked you would so outright cuss them out. 

“I’d watch your mouth-”

“Lets just take her!” the other interrupted his comrade, the latter grunting in distatse as they began to drag you away.

Fear erupted in your stomach as you were unable to get yourself away from the Heroes. You refused to get taken by them- you weren't going without a fight. You began clawing and kicking like an animal, not caring you were most likely hurting the Hero.

“Dabi! DABI!” you screamed out again- he wasnt that far away when you had gotten caught- he was okay right?- he heard you, didnt he?- he couldnt have gotten caught-

The new comer looked back, throwing a confused dirty look at your struggling form. “Who is she even calling to?”

The hero holding onto you stopped abruptly, looking at a figure in front of him.

The other noticed his sudden change, looking over his shoulder to find himself face to face with Dabi, his lazy smirk sending a wave of comfort to envelope your body.

“She’s calling for me,” he answered, his voice steady and strong. “Now, if you let her ago, you two wont get hurt- that bad.”

“You really think we’d give up that easy?! You’re crazy,” the newcomer retorted, taking on a battle stance.

You stared at Dabi, the pain in your arm pulsing as you watched his expression. Fear began to ripple inside you- to anyone who saw Dabi, he looked calm and collected- bored even. But you knew him too well- the clench in his jaw and the fire in his eyes told you he was furious, and when he was furious, he wasnt afraid to kill.

“Alright,” he shrugged, rolling his eyes, “suit yourself.”

Just then, you felt the intense grip on your arm release, the hero cryng out in pain as his arm became painted with his own blood. You looked to your side, hearing the manic giggles of Toga as she hide in the trees, her knives glinting in the moonlight. Twice then tackled the latter Hero, making them curse as they fought with the multitude of clones he created.

A smile enveloped on your face- you were safe. Your friends had your back.

Your vision became to froth with purple and black mist, knowing full well that Kurogiri was close by as your body began to sink into his portal-like quirk. You noticed the others began to do the same, Toga slinking in to her own with a love sink grin with Twice following behind.

Only Dabi didnt step into his own.

 Just before you fully submerged,  you watched Dabi look at the battered heroes with hatred. He raised his scarred hand, your vision turning a dangerous color of fiery blue as he activated his quirk, painting the night icy white.

-----------------

[btsxmale]

Hey, can i please request a jungkook oneshot where he wants his first time with his bf to be super romantic and perfect? He sets everything up with his favourite scents, mood lighting, music and lingerie but he keeps gettin interrupted. Or stuff keeps happening that kills the mood and his bf shows him that they dont have to have a perfect setting for a ~good~ time. You dont have to but top reader if you decide to make it nsfw 🙏

I don't have any confidence in my whole body so yeah👀

For some reason I'm not in the right mood to write anything 18+ recently so I hope this will do.

A Perfect Time

Jungkook is preparing himself to finally lose his virginity with his boyfriend

BTS (Jungkook) x Male Reader

Slight NSFW

One shot

"Jungkook! You have a delivery! Or two!" Jimin's excited voice could be heard across Jungkook's whole apartment as he stepped inside, stumbling on a big package. Jimin raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly due to curiosity. He hanged his jacket on a hanger, just to return his attention to the box on the ground. Jungkook, who was currently scanning the refrigerator after something to microwave, made a sudden turn and ran clumsily to the hallway, but not to greet Jimin.

"Don't touch it!" He yelled automatically as he saw Jimin's fingertips an inch away from the box. Jimin flinched at the sudden action, looking at Jungkook with curiosity in his eyes.

"Why not?" He asked, following Jungkook, who now carried the package, like a little duckling into the kitchen.

"It's... private things." He mumbled, turning his face away from Jimin to subtly hide a blush. He put the package down with ease on the kitchen counter, Jimin jumping to sit up next to it, trying to figure out what was inside. Jungkook suddenly turned to the older one with a confused expression.

"Did you say there was two deliveries?"

"I meant me of course." Jimin smiled an angelic smile as he put one hand on each side of his face, trying to look cute. Jungkook only chuckled a little at the other's action, returning to his search for food. Jimin, however, hadn't abandoned his mission to find out what Jungkook had ordered. Opening it without Jungkook noticing was next to impossible, but it was worth a shot. He inspected the box, trying to find a good place to try to open it. He found a spot, carefully removing the tape as quietly as possible, as Jungkook started to sing. Once it was completely removed, Jimin mentally screamed out of shock and excitement.

"Why are you so quiet?" Jungkook asked, noticing the silence that had fell over the kitchen as he stopped singing. He closed the refrigerator empty handed, gasping when he saw Jimin reading something on a white paper.

"Mens sexy floral stretch lace corset top with adjustable wide elastic strap-"

"Jimin!" Jungkook rushed forward to rip the paper out of the other's hands. He was redder than a tomato, avoiding eye contact as he angrily put the paper back into the box, closing it again.

"I told you not to touch it!" He scolded, still avoiding to look at the older. He couldn't, he didn't dare to look him in the eyes after that. Jeon Jungkook, had ordered a corset top.

"I'm sorry, I was so curious!" Jimin laughed, jumping down from the kitchen counter. Jungkook had no idea what to say. Should he scold him more? No, that wasn't necessarily. Should he explain why he bought it? No, definitely not. Jimin tried to calm down from laughing, while also having no idea what to say. He already apologised, and he didn't want to tease the maknae. They just stood in the kitchen, quietly. Jimin almost asked what it was for, but stopped himself to prevent any arguing between the two. He did feel a little bad, because Jungkook was not pleased.

The awkward silence was cut by a message. Jungkook sighed, slowly pulling out his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants. He carefully read the notification, and gasped. Jimin lifted one eyebrow and crossed his arms, waiting for an explanation.

"You need to leave." Jungkook said shortly, while starting to push Jimin carefully out if the kitchen.

"What? I just arrived!" He whined, but not resisting Jungkook.

"Y/N said he's coming home early and I have a lot to prepare." Jungkook explained hurriedly, watching Jimin impatiently as he put on his jacket. Jimin figured what was going on, and it had to do with the package. He couldn't help but smirk as he opened the door, turning around to Jungkook.

"Good luck~" He teased, the maknae closing the door faster than Jimin could blink. He let out a heavy sigh, putting his face in his hands as his brain replayed the scenario that just happened in the kitchen. His face got red again, still embarrassed. Suddenly, his face shot up and he started to run to the package, remembering the message he got from his boyfriend just a moment ago. He had 30 minutes, then Y/N would come home. He grabbed the box, throwing it on the bed as he immediately stripped all his clothes off.

He put on the first item, a plain black thong. Then hurrying with the black fishnet stockings that reached far up on his thighs. He later saw the paper Jimin stole before. He sighed, picking up the black lace corset top. He prayed to God that Jimin hadn't actually seen that one. He carefully put it on, avoiding to look in the mirror until he was done with his outfit. He connected the top to the stockings with straps. Lastly he put on a black choker around his throat.

The tight material around his body felt good, he felt really sexy and he started to get excited just by the thought of what was going to happen later. He slowly turned around, starting to walk to the big mirror they had in their bedroom next to the door.

"Wow." He let out. He looked so incredibly good, every sane person would get turned on by the muscular little bunny. He inspected every inch of himself, dragging his fingers across his whole body. He smiled really big, he knew that Y/N was going to go crazy about him. Or, he didn't know, actually. Sex wasn't something they talked a lot about. They had never done it with each other, in fact, Jungkook had never done it with anybody. It wasn't that he didn't want to, he just didn't have time and to be honest he was pretty scared. He knew Y/N had experience, and he really didn't want to disappoint him. Of course, they had done sexual things, but they had never gone as far as sex.

Jungkook didn't have time to relax after he changed into his outfit for the night. Now, he needed more stuff to make this perfect. He had ordered a perfume, COCO MADEMOISELLE by Chanel. He barely knew what it was, he just read that Ylang-Ylang fragrance was increadibly sexy and energises both men and women, so he bought it, hoping Y/N would like it. The problem was, he didn't remember where he put it. He had already searched through the whole bedroom and bathroom, but he found nothing. It was really silly, but he felt like crying. He sat down on the bed in defeat, trying to calm down. This was already a failure. Without a sexy scent, this couldn't go that well, right?

"Kookie?~" he suddenly heard echo through the apartment. His relaxed shoulders shot up and became tense as soon as he heard it.

"Y/N?" He asked while his heart was about to stop beating. Y/N couldn't be home yet, Jungkook wasn't even finished preparing!

"I bought some food. Maybe we can watch a movie later, huh?" Jungkook heard his boyfriend talk to him from the kitchen. He didn't know whether to breath incredibly fast or if he shouldn't breath at all.

"Don't come in here!" He yelled.

"What?" Jungkook heard his boyfriend's concerned voice coming closer to the bedroom. The door was about to open fully in just a few seconds. Instead of sitting quietly waiting for Y/N to walk in, Jungkook threw himself to the bedside to reach a controller. He quickly changed the yellowish bright light to a deep red one.

"Damn, what is this? This smells so good! Kookie? When did you buy this?" Y/N walled into the bedroom casually holding the perfume Jungkook searched for earlier.

"Holy..." Y/N managed to say as his gaze wandered from the bottle to the bed, where Jungkook lied.

"Jungkookie..." He mumbled, immediately feeling his pants become tighter. Jungkook blushed, staying quiet as he waited for Y/N's next move. Maybe this wasn't going to end badly after all? Jungkook started to relax after the short period of panic. He started to feel excited, horny by just the sight and thought of his boyfriend. It wasn't just that he imagined Y/N's hard cock moving inside of him, but he really wanted to go this far with him. He wanted to do everything other couples did. He wanted to get as close as he could to Y/N.

"I... don't know what to say." Y/N said, still not moving from his spot next to the door. Jungkook heard a sound from the lamp as the lights went out, turning the room black. He closed his eyes, trying to calm down but he couldn't. He already felt like crying thanks to that damn perfume, and now the light stopped working? He didn't dare to look Y/N in the eyes after this failure (he also lowkey couldn't since the room was dark now), so instead he curled up into a ball on the bed, hiding his face from his boyfriend.

"Hey? Baby?" Y/N carefully made his way to the smaller man, sitting down next to the miserable ball that was his partner.

"What's going on?" He asked, trying his best to avoid staring at Jungkook's underwear in this situation. Jungkook was embarrassed and didn't know what to do. Today, when he was finally planning to actually have sex with the man he loved, everything had to go wrong. I mean, they were sitting in a dark, boring bedroom.

"I'm sorry." Jungkook sniffled, jumping into Y/N's arms as tears started streaming down his face. Y/N hugged him back, trying to focus on comforting his baby instead of the outfit he wore. Y/N let Jungkook calm down a little as he buried his face into the other's neck.

"Nothing worked." He sniffled. Y/N placed a hand on Jungkook's shoulder, pushing him away from him to be able to get eye contact. Seeing his boyfriend with a pout on his lips, messy hair and such a sexy outfit made his dick twitch.

"I... tried to get a nice setting. So... so we could have sex." Jungkook blushed and avoided Y/N's gaze.

"We don't need a perfect setting." Y/N said, putting a hand on top of Jungkook's thigh.

"You're here, I'm here. That's the only thing we need." He smiled.

"So this outfit wasn't-"

"The outfit is a plus. HUGE plus. I mean, it made me like this as soon as I laid eyes on you." Y/N said, taking Jungkook's hand and guiding it to his crotch. Jungkook felt his boyfriend's warm and hard cock through the fabric of his pants, getting even more horny himself. The thong he wore started to get tight, as blood flowed faster than light to his own dick. He began massaging Y/N's cock, earning a soft groan from him, which made Jungkook crazy with desire. He was so in love with the man, and so horny, that a simple sound would make him lose his shit.

"Baby when did you get so hard?~" Y/N asked, reaching out to touch Jungkook's hard cock with only one finger. Jungkook, who was a little embarrassed, threw himself on top of Y/N.

"Wow, kookie~" He smirked, Jungkook still hadn't realised what he did. They were completely still, Y/N waiting for Jungkook to do something, but he didn't know what. The idol wanted to just rip off his boyfriend's pants, but he wanted to take this slow. He sought his way to Y/N's lips, immediately started to make out. Y/N put a hand in Jungkook's hair, pushing their mouths as close as possible. Their tongues danced and traded saliva while Y/N moved his left hand to Jungkook's butt. As he squeezed, he could hear, and feel, Jungkook softly moan into his mouth. They were getting hot, their hard members touching each other's, Y/N's hand on Jungkook's ass, and their hot make out session, made them both lose their minds. They lost track of time, did they make out for one minute or seven minutes? It didn't matter.

Jungkook felt like he was in good hands, literally.

--

Rules

Masterlist

[goddess-ofthe-underworld]

This post has nothing to do with what I normally post, however is why I haven't been posting. You dont have to read it. This is just my place to vent and the closest I can get to screaming into oblivion I suppose..

My husband and I moved all the way from mid Wisconsin to the bottom of Texas and are staying with my in laws, husbands mother and step father. Since we have been here, my FIL has shown that he is very much the 'if you odnt do things my way, its wrong', 'well I have ms and can do this so you can to or you aren't trying', 'holier than thou' type.

Now for background incase anyone is actually reading this, I have been diagnosed with depression, major anxiety, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, and am going to be tested to see if I am on the autism spectrum. I have suffered horribly over the years with all of these disorders, been in therapy for 8 years, and on the correct/best so far med combination for about 8months which now has been messed wit again because I cant afford my adhd prescription. So my daily life is fucking hard. I have worked very hard to deal with my anger, to be able to pull logic up faster than I have in the past, to be able to push my emotions to the side and to think about things logically and not just with my emotions or in black and white. I have spent years working on taming the rage in me.

My father in law destroyed all of that progress in 30 minutes.

Our car became unsafe so we had to get a new one. My MIL helped us with that and we thanked her very much for that! She set us up with the dealership, she got us a deal on it and we have thanked her multiple times for that. Now, just after simply talking to the man, not even signing papers, my father in law stayed behind and made the man doubt that we could afford it to the point where the man had asked us no less than ten times if we really could afford it or not because of my FIL. When he got back from making the salesman doubt us, he began to raise his voice at us saying how we needed to be straight forward with him about our finances, how we need to do this and that and I started to shut down. I knew what was coming. He turned to me and started going on about how i could work for my new aunt, when i had told him no five times already,my MIL told him she will not let me do that because my new aunt is a mess and she doesn't want me in that position. Now mind you before we moved here, we made it known to them that I havent worked or drove in four years due to all of my mental illness and a bad car accident I got into. They knew that the only way we'd come is if they were ok with that and could be understanding and not judging of it. So I said to him no I will not work for her. I've told you no already no means no. She he smiles and glares at me and said oh yeah? Why not? Yet again I start explaining my mental health, and he cuts me off and ✨yells✨ at me that if it's so bad I need to get on disability for it or get a fucking job already. I was shaking with anger, I wanted to scream, I wanted to throw things at him, I wanted to choke him. I was in a rage. I was able to control myself enough to where all I did was yell at him that I had an appointment in a few days to talk to my doctor about just that, but that it's none of his business and I walked away. My MIL yelled at him, it was a mess.

Since then, our car salesman had told us to take them to dinner and hed count it as a downpayment payment so we did. I had one drink and my FIL told me I shouldn't drink with all of the medications I take. I take two at the moment because I cant afford the rest and I took them 7+ hours previous to this one drink I was having that i have done multiple times and i know it is safe for me to do so.

Again I stayed quiet, I pulled myself together and said, well that us why if I'm going to drink I make sure that I take my medication plenty early so that it wont interact. He rolled his eyes and said well as long as you dont get sloppy and start issues. Didnt know you drank.

Now I have had one single drink at dinner in front of him and my MIL multiple times now, so why he said that I have no idea.

The way this man has been acting has been explained to me that he words things wrong, he tries to joke and it comes out wrong. Excuses are constantly made for his behavior towards me. Now I happened to know that he was upset at an aunt of mine for getting wasted and talking poorly about him and he was taking his anger out on me. And again, that was the excuse made, oh it wasnt directed at you.

The other night, my husband and I sat down and had long conversation and decided we would go back to Wisconsin. We sat down with his mother and mid conversation my FIL came out and said he hoped it was going good and when we wanted hed say his piece, and my MIL said well no it's going good apparently. And he looked at me and said well we aren't forcing you to stay here.

That's when I first felt things coming undone inside of me. This had been brewing for about a month now. I was twisting and pulling on my fingers to try to keep myself grounded as I raised my voice and said, no I know, that's why we are leaving because of you. He smiled an evil smile and frowned at the time and told me not to blame him for my short comings in life, and began to go off. He said the person who does the least should say the least.

My husband put his arm in front of me and I felt more things inside me come undone and I snapped. I told him to shut up before I beat his ass. My MIL told me not to and told him to go away and let us talk. He continued to look at me with that twisted look on his face and continued to talk shit. I honest to Gods can't tell you what he said after that because I saw red. The room was spinning and I lunged for him and my husband had to hold me back. I screamed at him that he was a piece of shit and to shut up, that I was going to kick his ass. Everything I knew on how to control myself and my rage went out the window in less than 30 minutes. My MIL was yelling at him to leave as he backed away from me while my husband held me back. I continued screaming until he left the room and then i sobbed angry tears. I could not believe that my wonderful mother in law was married to a man like that.

I apologized to her and I told her that I meant what I said to him, but I am sorry to her for how I acted. She said she understood and wasnt mad at me. My husband and I left the house until my FIL left and now I am heading back to wisconsin by myself because my husband has things here in texas to take care of before he can come with me.

Aside from that, my father in law has said that we dont pay bills here when we pay 500 a month for rent, 80 to help with food which we had spent over this month already, and we help buy toiletries. But he says we dont pay bills, we dont help with food.

He has also lied to my mother in law and said he didnt know I have an issue with multiple noises because I will hyper focus to the point of getting a headache when I have told him once myself, my husband has told him once verbally, and most recently about a week ago maybe through text. But my father in law told my mother in law that he had no idea and my mother in law even read the texts my husband sent and believes my father in law is telling the truth.

We have no money to do this, we have a car payment coming up, I have no idea how we are going to make it, I feel like my marriage is going to suffer, I'm worried about what will be said while I am gone. My MIL thinks things can be fixed, and I dont know maybe in time but right now I dont see it, and I know my limits with my mental illness and I know what will happen if I stay.

I dont know how to find peace anymore. I dont know how to find happiness. My husband believes that that isnt how he meant for things to be, but I've had a new aunt of mine tell me she has had feelings very similar to this with my FIL and that that is why she stays away.

I dont know what to do.

If you've made it this far, please send blessings of positivity my way, please pray, whatever your thing is.

I am tired.

[rox-the-proxy]

Of Secrets and Dragons

Dimivain hell? Yes please. This is basically a AU a friend andni came up with. It's based off of the idea that the goddess gifted certain family lines the ability to turn into dragons should all of Fodlan ever need protection. So, we have Beast/Dragon Form Claude, Edelgard and Dimitri. Hope you guys enjoy.

"It is said that on the Goddess's last visit here with normal man, she gifted three bloodlines a very unique ability. It was almost as if it was a parting gift. She gifted three of these Bloodlines the blood of dragons. At first, none of them understood why or what the purpose was. It was until they had children of their own did they understand. With the blood of different dragons running through their vines, their children could take the form of that particular species.

"One could take the form of a mighty Forest Wyvern. Swift as the wind, agile like no other. Its said a single drop of the blood of its blood on farm lands could rejuvenate the soil, bringing about plentiful crops or bringing plant life back to a area that has been long dead. This particular form now runs in the viens of the Riegan bloodline of the Leicester Alliance. Currently its said that the next Sovereign Duke; Claude Von Riegan now wields the ability to turn into this deadly, but elegant, life giving creature."

"The next, a hulking dragon that screamed power and Pride. This large winged creature is said to wield fire itself, being able to envelop itself in it's own flames to create light or even a form of protection. Its said this dragon can bring the end of harsh, ever lasting winters while being able to being pleasant summer days. This form of dragon is said to belong to the Imperial Princess; Edelgard von Hresvelg."

"And finally, There was the final dragon. This one, Flightless, wingless. But that alone did not mean it wasnt as strong and dangerous. This dragon, a drake, was a four legged dragon. A well muscled body, but somehow lean and quick. Powerful and struck a cold fear in those who stood in it's way. Its said this beast could bring about bitter cold and blizzards to fields when enraged. Or bountiful rain to areas who were suffering from a smoldering drought. As of now, it was said that this dragon form ran in the vines of the Blaiddyd family of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. However, as of now, its said that the crown Prince; Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd does not have this dragon form. Many suspect this form was lost long before the rule of Lambert, the previous King of the Holy Kingdom."

There was a long pause of silence in the Blue Lion class room as they sat there, listening to the rare and seemingly odd lecture of the day they were getting from Lady Rhea herself. She rarely ever left the first floor and she definitely wasnt one to teach a class. She was the Archbishop after all, she typically had far more important things to do verses actually teach a class. But they had been expecting this to happen. The Golden Deer house and the Black Eagle House had already received this same lecture from her. None of them knew why they were suddenly receiving this lesson or why she was even talking about it. Yes, strange things had been happening around the Monastery as of late, but in a way, some of the students were starting to think that maybe Rhea was in a way letting the house leaders know that maybe it was time to start using their dragon forms to send a message.

But as the Archbishop had stated, Dimitri was the only one out of the three who couldn't take the dragon form he was supposed to be able to take. Or at least that's what many believed. The class gave Rhea their thanks for her lesson she had given before watching her depart, once she was gone it was painfully obvious bow they all relaxed and sighed. Some, namely Sylvain, had slumped forward onto the dark wood desk, Felix to his left pinching the bridge of his nose. "Man, talk about throwing more of the churches issues onto the future King, Emperor and Sovereign Duke." Sylvain said, sitting back up and looking over at their future King who was looking down at the notes he had sitting in front of him. He was sure the blonde didnt actually write down anything important, but he did have to make it seem like he was Intrested in the topic. "Hey, dont look so worried your Highness." The redhead tried to reassure.

It was clear that he was nervous, on edge now. Dimitri was easy to read more or less when he got like this. Especially when it concerned that dragon of his. There was a reason why it slowly started to disappear in the family line. And that was because his family's particular form was high aggressive even if the king amdnor queen wasnt by nature. So, in reality only all of the Blue Lions knew why the Blaiddyd family had started using that form less and less as time passed. Sylvain huffed when he noticed that his words didnt seem to quite reach his blonde haired loved one. He stood up, walking over and kneeled down next to where the Prince was sitting. He reached up, his palm slid up the others cheek and his fingers tangled into the blonde colored locks, gently tugging. This got the younger male's attention, he turned his head to look at the red head, but frowned when Sylvain didnt remove his hand, only tugged again.

"Must you?" Dimitri asked, though it came out more like a whine verses a question. Sylvain only smiled, keeping his hand tangled in the golden locks, gently rubbing where he had tugged on the other's hair. "I'm fine, I just dont believe that its necessary for any of us to use those forms. Lady Rhea failed to mention those forms are used for emergency cases only. In which I mean the fate of all of Fódlan is at risk. Not because some people are questioning the Church." He himself wasnt a holy man, despite what his own kingdom was called. Never really believed in the goddess, much less took part in praying to her or any such things. His father was much the same way. Maybe that's why he turned out as he did. Not that he wasnt saying that the goddess didnt exist, he just didnt see a need to worship her so damn much. Especially when so many people have died thinking she would give them mercy and save them only for it to turn out otherwise. He sighed heavily, leaning into Sylvain's larger hand. "I'll need to speak with Edelgard and Claude about this when we all have some spare time."

"Work, work, work. That's all it is with you." Sylvain teased as he stood up, removing his hand from Dimitri's hair and sitting on the end of the table, soon enough the rest of the blue Lions soon gathered around their prince at the table he was sitting at. "But on a serious note, are you going to warn them about this? Or are you going to tell them?"

"They dont need to know," Felix interjected with his usual sharp tone, his arms crossed over his chest. "There had never been a need for them to know so I dont see a reason for them to know now. It's not like all of Fódlan is on the verge of collapse. I say leave them be. Dont go doing something stupid that you'll regret. I'm sure the other house leaders are smart enough to know what Rhea is getting at."

Same typical Felix. Sylvain could only sigh as he shook his head. But his younger friend did have a point. Edelgard and Claude were smart, they probably already put two and two together to figure out that the Archbishop was in a way, pressuring them into taking those forms when the church asked them to. Sylvain couldnt help but feel glad that Dimitri's family had started using that uncontrollable form of theirs less and less. Hell, he was sure not even Lord Rodrigue recalled how that dragon form of the Blaiddyd family looked like. Still, it was a bit of a bad thing that the family had no control over the dragon form. No one could ever really figure out why, many assumed maybe the goddess made it that way for a reason. But what reason could that be? Either way, it was a mystery and would probably remain that way for a while. The red head only was pulled from his thoughts when he felt Dimitri lay his head on his thigh.

A small smile graced his features, especially when Felix, even if it was out of character for him, reached out to place a comforting hand on his back. They cared for him, he was their friend after all and they had sworn to keep him safe after the Tragedy of Duscur and after the Rebellion. Dimitri had no control over himself when that rebellion took place west of their kingdom. It had been a forced transformation and no one who was there spoke of it to anyone else out of respect for the late King and for the respect and love they had for their Prince. "Its okay, things will work out." Sylvain assured him as he ran his fingers through the Blonde's hair gently. "Like you said, those forms are for when Fódlan is on the brink of collapse right? And yeah sure there have been a few strange things here and there but nothing to suggest Fódlan is in that much trouble or need of help."

"As much as I loath to agree with him," Felix started, pulling his hand back and crossing his arms over his chest. He easily ignored the shouted and offended shout of 'hey!' From his red headed friend. "He has a point, Boar. Right now things are fine. So realx." Despite his harsh tone and the glare on his face, anyone who knew Felix well enough knew he was saying it truly to help Dimitri relax and calm down. Felix raised a brow when the blonde turned his head to look up at him. With Dimitri laying his head on their older friend's thigh, one could tell he was tried. The prince was allowing himself to look Vulnerable, and Felix felt his blood boil at the mere idea of anyone else from the other houses walking in and seeing him like this. "Get up, goddess forbid anyone else sees you looking this pathetic." He snapped.

"Felix," Sylvain scolded lightly, keeping his hand on the back of Dimitri's head. There wasn't any actual pressure there keeping the Prince's head down, but it was Sylvain letting him know that he didnt have to move despite Felix's words. He could never really actually put heat behind his words when it came to Felix or Dimitri. He supposed they were his soft spots, he could never scold Ingrid because well she never really acted out of line. Unless it was with Dedue but the Duscur man handled that well on his own.

"Your too soft with him. Hes a boar, a beast, an animal. He doesnt need to be coddled." He snapped again, glaring at the older male. Honestly he knew Sylvain coddle him and Dimitri a lot, he was just like that even when they were kids. But they weren't kids anymore. Dimitri would be king soon, and with it a whole kingdom full of problems he would need to learn how to handle. Neither he or Sylvain would always be there, there would be times where he wouldn't see either of them for months. Sylvain couldnt keep coddling him like this, making the empty and stupid promise he would always be there at his side. "Get up and come spar with me. And try to control yourself I can already feel a cold chill in the air and we're in the middle of summer."

"Ah, My Apologies I didnt realize-"

"Of course you didnt. Just shut up and let's go."

Sylvain sighed heavily, he was disappointed that the Prince lifted his head from his lap but he knew there wasnt talking him out of it. At least sparring with Felix would keep his mind from thinking about the lecture they just got from Rhea. Though Felix had been right, even he could feel the slight bite of cold in the air, Dimitri always seemed to have trouble controlling his own abilities aside from his strength. It made sense that this was the reason why he shoved down whatever he was feeling when it came to the Duscur Tragedy and the Rebellion as well. Both incidents always caused Dimitri to have a flurry of different emotions and with thaoe emotions came harsh and sudden blizzards. Faerghus had experienced it once already, the Monastery did not need to. Still, there had to be more to Rhea's lecture. A few incidents couldnt cause something like this to come about, right? No it wouldnt make much sense. There was more that she knew that she wasnt telling the students. But that didnt mean that the Professors didnt know. Which meant their Professor knew as well, a soft hum escaped the red head as he thought about this. Could he and would he be able to get any information out of him? If nothing else, their professor was tight lipped about certain things if not just completely unaware.

"Sylvain, are you alright?" It was Mercedes's soft, gentle, and caring tone that brought him out of his thoughts. He looked up at her and gave her a small smile.

"Yeah, of course! Just thinking is all. Ah but it warms my heart to know that such a beautiful-"

"Sylvain," came Ingrid's warning, effectively cutting him off from one of his usual tangents.

Sylvain for his part only laughed, rubbing the back of his neck before allowing himself to listen to the chatter of his group of friends. He supposed things would he fine, maybe everyone was just over thinking things.

That would turn out to not be the case five years later.

When Edelgard declared war, when their Professor went missing and when they received news of Dimitri's execution it was like the world came crashing down all around them and there was nothing they could do to stop it. No matter how hard they had tried. He didnt think there was much rhyme or reason to return to the Monastery like they had all promised to do, after all, their king dead, their professor probably also dead. What reason would they have to go back? Still, he gathered Ingrid and Felix up, making the long and dangerous trip to what was once a second home to them all. However what gave the red head a sliver of hope was the striking cold in the air, the frozen bodies, the snow and ice that covered parts of the walls and land.

When they finally found him with their professor, this Dimitri was nothing like the one from so many years ago. This Dimitri was cold, harsh, bloodthirsty and thought only of killing Edelgard. For a long while, Sylvain didnt think there would be much hope for him. Whatever darkness that had a hold of him had finally been able to drag him down into its depths and it was like Dimitri wasnt even trying to fight it. Whenever they went, the harsh, biting cold followed. Wherever they went, snow fell, the battles the fought enemy soldiers ended up with icicle spears through them, other begging for mercy as Dimitri held their head in his hand. Quick and painless death was a rare thing from Dimitri. Sylvain had little to no hope of ever seeing the soft, gentle and shy Dimitri he once knew again. Felix had even tried to get through to him. But even that didnt seem to work. It took Rodrigue's death and nearly his own for Dimitri to finally snap out of it.

When he did, he gave them all such a heartfelt apology. Swearing he would make it up to them And atone for his mistakes, things had started going a lot better after that. The cold that followed their army faded away, Dimitri would actually show up to the war council and even training as well. He would even join them to eat dinner together. Though there were times when he would still distance himself from the group. At first Sylvain didnt understand why, but when he found him late one evening, patrolling the Monastery grounds in the Dragon form he had no control over previously. He felt a swell of pride and joy for their future king he couldn't stop himself from walking up to him. He looked...stunning in this form. He stood taller then a horse, his scales a beautiful mix and light and dark blue. Black colored Horns that grew up and slightly back from his head. In this form Sylvain could see the scars that littered his body, and it was countless, some overlapping each other, some small, others large. Though if he had to pick out which one was the worse one in his opinion-

It would be the one that took his eye. Not that Sylvain was bothered by the horrible scarring, not in the least bit. They all had their fair share of scars thanks to this war and even past battles. But when he saw the scars that just seemed to over take Dimitri's body, he couldn't help but feel his blood boil. Only because he knew a good amount of those scars were caused by his time imprisoned in the Capital under the pretenses that he had murdered his uncle. His eye had been lost during his escape from what Dimitri had implied. He never went into much detail about that day. No one could blame him. As Sylvain stood there next to the hulking creature that was his friend, he could tell Dimitri was tense. It was sad, seeing him so tense and always seeing to be walking on eggshells around not only him, but everyone. As if fearful of doing or saying the wrong thing. Dimitri used to be so confident, or at least he came off as confident. These days he doubted himself a lot, making it hard for him to see that he was indeed making the right decision. Even as Sylvain reached up and held the other's face between his hands.

It was odd, the feeling of cold scals under his hands. Considering he had only ever had been in his human form. Both remained silent, Sylvain gently holding Dimitri's head in his hands, thumbs stoking along his jawline. The touch seemed to have calmed him down, considering his remaining eye was closed in content, deep rumbles coming from him which he supposed were the dragon version of a purr. If that was even possible. The red head pushed that thought aside, there was a time and place for such joking things, right now wasnt the time nor the place. Right now, he was enjoying this moment of peace.

"Look at you. Never once did I think I would ever get to see you like this." Sylvain mumbled, pressing his head to the other's head. He shivered at how cold the other felt in this form but goddess it felt so pleasant. "Honestly it suits you. But I'd like to see you now. If that's okay?" Had he asked this from the blonde so many hours ago, he would have been met with a snarling growl and a harsh 'no'. But right now the got a soft, long exhale of breath before he pulled his head away from his gloved and armored hands. He watched as the King shifted from that dragon form back into the human form he had grown accustomed to seeing. Like this, Sylvain felt much better seeing. He looked more vulnerable, more...him. which in a way made sense, in his dragon form it was hard to tell how he was feeling, there was always an air of being on edge and ready for anything like that. Or at least that had been how Hilda explained it whenever Claude was in his Wyvern form. Sylvain smiled, reaching up to cup the other's face between his hands. Dimitri's flinch did not go unnoticed, but he kept his movements slow and steady, making sure to not startle the other so much.

It broke his heart every single time he saw Dimitri flinch away from what would be a friendly touch. It was sading to see how a simple pat on the shoulder or back was like the best type of touch hes ever gotten. How long had he gone only knowing harmful and malicious touch? Had it been since the death of his uncle? Since his imprisonment? Goddess only knew. Sylvain smiled when Dimitri leaned into his hands, his remaining eye closed. He noticed though how his hands seemed to hover awkwardly, like he didnt know what to do with them, as if he feared to touch anyone. "Its okay," he assured the King. He felt Dimitri stiffen for a moment before his reached up, placing his hands over Sylvain's. It took a long time for them to reach this point, before Dimitri wouldnt even allow anyone to touch him. Not even Sylvain who had never once ever dreamed of hurting him. But goddess it felt good to be at this point, there was a feeling of shock that washed over him when he felt the blonde lean against him, so much so that his head was resting against the crook of his shoulder and neck. "There you are, it's good to see you."

Dimitri hummed softly, the blonde moving his arms to wrap them around the other, pulling him close. He missed this, he missed Sylvain. He didnt think something like this would ever be possible. Especially after everything he had done, the lives he had taken so mercilessly. He wouldn't have blamed the older male if he had decided to never stand by him ever again. He wouldn't have blamed him if he had sided with the Empire and told the secret that yes, he did indeed have a dragon form. But he didnt do that, no Sylvain stayed by him, had tried time and time again to snap him our of his own madness. Even when he threatened them all, Sylvain never once held it against him. He didn't quite understand why he didn't, why he had been so forgiving of his horrendous behavior, but he was. Dimitri these days knew it was best not to question the good things that were given to him even if he found himself tempted to question it constantly. "Why are you not in bed? We have a long March ahead of us tomorrow, you should be resting." Dimitri didn't need to see the other rolling his eyes at his words he could practically feel it.

"And let you wander about like a guard dog alone when you need just as much rest as the rest of us? No way, come on, Dima. Let's get you to bed." Dimitri chuckled, leave it to Sylvain to pull something like this. He didnt fight the other when he pulled away, slipping his hand Into his own and leading him back to their old dormitories. Dimitri couldn't recall ever actually stepping foot into his old room, and now that he might he felt himself grow extremely nervous. Sylvain must have noticed because as they walked and arrived at the second floor of the dorms, he bypassed the King's room entirely and entered his own. Obviously since coming back the red head took the time to clean the room out, make more suitable for him now verses back when they were young, innocent and still had delusional ideas about how they would change the world for the better. How foolish had Dimitri been back then. At least Sylvain had always been a bit more cynical then him, knew the world wasnt always as good as it seemed. Not everyone had good in them like Dimitri wished to believe. By the time Dimitri turned back into the world around him, the red head had already gotten out of his own armor and had gotten his entire chest plate off. "How often does that happen?"

For a moment, Dimitri found himself lost and unsure of what Sylvain was speaking of, but it came to him rather quickly. The zoning out, the disassociation as Mercedes called it. Compared to just a few weeks ago, it didnt happen as often as it used to, but it would still occur from time to time. On those days it was like he was watching the day pass through someone else's eyes. He found himself forgetting to eat, forgetting to sleep. Basic human function became extremely hard to do, this often lead to someone needing to be with him at all times for the rest of that day or for however long the disassociative episode lasted. "More often then I would like to admit." It wasn't a good answer, not good news by any means, but was a truthful response. He watched as Sylvain nodded, working on removing the dark colored armor he insisted on wearing. Even when Gilbert gave him the Blaiddyd armor he refused to put it on just yet.

Sylvain nodded, there was a glint of sadness and guilt in his eyes. As the blonde's friend and the oldest of their group of four he had failed when it came to looking out for all three of them. He ended up being someone Ingrid had to constantly trail behind to make sure he stayed out of trouble. Even Dimitri would pull him aside and scold him. Felix didnt even try but sure as hell made it known he wasnt happy with his behavior. At the end, they all only did that for one reason only; to make sure nothing bad happend to him. Because in their minds, loosing him would be just as bad as losing Glenn. It was touching to know he meant that much to them. But it was also sad to see that the trauma of losing Glenn had affected them all so much they felt as if they needed to do more then necessary to make sure he was going to be just fine. When he finally managed to get he other out of the armor and in clothing much more comfortable to be in, he guided the king to lay down flag on his stomach. He could tell the younger male was tense, worried about what he was planning. "Relax, its okay. Your safe here." There was more meaning to his words. Dimitri wasnt only physically safe here, his secrets, his doubts, his fears all of it was safe here. Sylvain was never one to go around speaking of the insecurities and tightly guarded secrets others trusted him with. "The empire still doesnt know about your dragon form, I'm going to assume none of the others know as well if only because they think you cant control it." He watched as the blonde turned his head to side, somewhat looking at him with his remaining eye. "I think we should keep it that way for a while. A sort of...ace in the hole."

"Would it not be better to reveal it sooner rather than later?" Sylvain could see where that would be the best idea, but he also knew that having something like that as a secret and only using it as a last ditch effort would serve them as an advantage. Plus if Edelgard caught wind that he did have a dragon form after all, she would know exactly how to kill him, it wouldnt he a problem for her. It would give her the necessary time to figure it out if she didnt know.

"The less the Empire knows about us in general, the better, Dima." The red head said simply as he gently started to massage the others back and shoulders. The king was tense, wincing whenever his hands seemed to press and knead into a particularly sore and tender spot. Dimitri didnt seem to have a response for what he said, after all he did have a point. The less Edelgard knew, the easier it would be for them all to do what they needed to do in order to stop her. "But for now, let's worry more about how tightly wound your muscles are. It's no wonder you're always stiff like a statue."

If nothing else, it was always easier to be in Sylvain's company compared to the company of anyone else. That is not to say that Dimitri didnt care for the others, because by the goddess he did. He would tear down all of Fódlan if it meant he could keep them all safe and alive. But with Sylvain, with this flamboyant, smooth talking red head, it was different. Perhaps it was due to the fact that with him, doing anything had always been easier. He ould always be more emotional around him, physical touch wasnt as a much a fear as it had been with anyone else. Sylvain even encouraged it, often times locking their arms together, throwing his arm over his shoulders and dragging to wherever he pleased or even always putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. On rare occasions, a friendly but gentle pat on the head as well. Dimitri would refuse to admit to anyone that those pats on the head had been his favorite. Maybe that's why letting him do this, rub out the tension in his body was so easy for him, letting the other's gentle hands run up and down his back, carefully kneading. When the older male hit a particularly sore spot, the one eyed male hissed, arching away from his touch. Dimitri could name every single spot on his body that was far more tender and tense then anywhere else. It was how hebhad been living for the past five years since his escape from Fhirdiad.

"Shh, shh. Easy I know hurts right now but it will get better." Sylvain was quick to comfort, quick to lighten his touch on that spot just under and along his left shoulder blade. He had a feeling he knew what brought the tension on in the muscles in this particular area. If nothing else, Dimitri was a master with a Lance, but he wasnt thebobly one who had exceptional skill in the use of this type of particular weapon. He had encounter plenty of other Lance users and he had used Areadbhar many times in battle. Often times, he watched his King push himself far past limits he knew better then to cross. But did so anyway, which lead to torn muscles, and soreness in his shoulders more often than not. And if seemed like this time would be a case of exactly that. It felt like hours had passed before Sylvain seemed to have finally gotten the muscles in Dimitri's back to relax. When he moved to lay next to the king he paused and smiled at the sight of the king peacefully asleep.

When had he even drifted off? He wasnt sure, but he was happy to see that the man still trusted him enough to even fall asleep around him. As he laid there, watching the man in slumber, is when he started to notice small things, such as that even covered in warm, fur blankets, Dimitri's skin was cold to the touch. If one looked closely enough when he was awake, one could see the faint Cerulean glow his eye had. Even his teeth seemed sharper as well, all attributes and traits that he got as he got older thanks to the dragon form that ran through his family's blood. For now, the others didnt need to know about his control over his beast form, not yet. It could be a secret between him and his king. For now, Dimitri could rest.

For tomorrow, it was back to war, back into the fighting.

[fallout-snippets]

Hello it me again, I L O V E your longer reacts and ur writing is just amazing. I would die if u did the interested! companions (+Deacon) reacting to sole almost dying but barely surviving like they get knocked out or have a really bad injury and go into surgery and wake up alright (totally up to u!) And it just being real angsty and sad. Sorry if this is a lil confusing I hope you have fun with this prompt and thank u for reading anyway. 💕

(sorry if im taking too many liberties and artistic choices with the replies but i want to make them unique, also kinda lost wind at the end cause theyre kinda long)

Cait is a furious mess in the waiting room, refusing to leave until she can see Sole again. It had just been a lucky shot by a lucking fucking raider but it’s enough to turn everything upside down and Cait wishes she hadn’t had to pick up Sole and run the hell out of there and instead could give that raider the beating of a lifetime. To soothe her nerve she plans out how to track them down and imagines what she’ll do to them.

It takes a few hours of silence from the operating room until the doctor finally emerges and she’s close to wrestling the poor guy down to ask what took so long but she keeps her cool, the way Sole told her to. It seems that Sole will recover without any lasting injuries but he requests that she lets them rest which she scoffs at, and pushes back the man so she can see them.

The doctor obviously can’t convince her to leave and instead resigns to at least getting her a chair. Cait spends the rest of the night and day sitting next to Sole, sobbing into their sheets when she knows they won’t notice. She holds their hand, feels their warmth and lets that be the thing that calms her down.

Once Sole wakes up though, she won’t be so vulnerable. They’re going to get an earful from her about being so careless and she’ll make sure they know that’s not going to fucking happen again.

Curie regrets becoming a human when she’s alone in the field with a Sole that might be bleeding out infront of her. She hates how her hands shake, how sickly cold she feels and how warm their blood feels on her hands as she tries to put pressure on the wound.

Her brain switches from a logical approach to a terrified one, between what she can do and has to do and what might happen if she does it wrong and she wishes she still had a stone cold approach to an injured patient. Instead it’s Sole. She might lose them for real and she feels a lump in her throat grow.

Thankfully Sole has passed out, for better or worse, and Curie puts a cloth over their face to make them anonymous. She brings out an emergency toolkit and some stimpaks and forces a deep breath. It takes a great mental strength to force her fear away so that she can get to work but soon she focuses only on the wound. She makes sure it’s clean, nothings stuck inside and she carefully administers the stimpak inside to out, letting the cellular regeneration slowly close the wound from inside.

Once she’s done she sits down, removes the cloth from their face to wipe her hands but she can’t bring herself to move. She feels sick and nauseous, something she never thought she’d feel doing something as natural as that. When Sole wakes up she’ll force herself to come back but for now she just sits and tries not to think about her hands inside Soles abdomen with their life hanging on a thread.

Danse doesn’t notice anything wrong at first. He’s been trained to take the situation seriously and never celebrate until they’re safe home again but it’s been a while since he’s been a soldier and it’s hard not to celebrate around Sole. So he doesn’t notice that not everyone is dead.

Sole makes a remark about the awful outfit the dead man infront of them has on and Danse chuckles and turns around to relieve the other man of his ammunition. He doesn’t hear the grunts of a survivor and he doesn’t hear them approaching but he hears the crunch of a blunt object connecting with Soles scalp. It echoes for weeks afterwards.

He quickly eliminates the threat but Sole has already slumped together on the floor, blood quickly pooling beneath them and he has never been this scared before. He does what he can to… keep the pieces together and he picks them up to bring them back somewhere safe. They don’t wake up for a while.

It’s not until Sole slowly blinks their eyes open in the safety of their home that he finally allows himself to cry. He sobs through an apology, begs them to please forgive him, while they softly comb his hair with their fingers, waiting to figure out what happened.

Deacon is the king of pranking and is pleased to have finally found a worthy opponent in Sole. It can range from placing a whopee cushion under their seat to staging a lovers spat in a full bar and he is living for it. So when Sole is dramatically complaining about the burning heat he just laughs and tells them to cool off.

With a smirk they toss him their jacket and pack and dive into the waters they’ve been travelling next to and he laughs louder for the sheer drama of it. What a match made in heaven. He waits for Sole to reemerge to splash him down but they dont and instead the surface grows still. Until their body slowly floats to the surface and he prays it’s just another prank.

It could be. Sole knows how to get under his skin. But there’s red leaking into the water from their head and he takes a look into the murky water and finds it filled with large rocks hidden just below. Quickly he throws himself in to pull them out, dragging them onto the dusty road.

The cut on their head isn’t deep and won’t be lethal but they’re unconscious and he’s struggling with what to do. He vaguely remembers how to do CPR and gets started, trying not to lose his shit in the process. He ends up getting water spat in his face but Sole coughing is music to his ears. He allows himself to hold on to their shoulder for a second longer than he needs to before he forces out a laugh.

“Did you cool down?”

Hancock likes being a little reckless, it’s good for the soul. Gets you out of your comfort zone and helps you sharpen up. Plus it’s fun. So Hancock’s not exactly complaining when he takes up with Sole who isn’t afraid of a fight, on the contrary; he downright loves it.

It can range from switching from guns to a fistfight just for the hell of it or batting baseball grenades into a super mutan stronghold just because they can. So when Sole suggests a shortcut from the roof of a three story building to the bus below he doesn’t think much of it. He declines it himself, knowing he doesn’t have it in him to do it but Sole has survived much worse with barely a scratch.

Except he sees them get ready and they leap like a bird ready to take flight but instead of a thud of them landing on the roof he hears glass breaking. He hurries to the ledge and finds Sole in a pile of broken glass and blood, staring at their bloodsoaked hands in shock. Somehow they landed on the sunroof window and fell through the bus.

Suddenly he can’t breathe and he feels ants crawling all over him and he doesn’t care that it’s not even reckless, it’s just stupid, but he throws himself off the edge onto the bus as well. Luckily the wounds are only superficial and Sole recovers quickly with carefully placed stimpaks but he shakes for hours afterwards with the image of a slashed Sole below him. It could’ve been worse, it looked worse, and sometimes he can’t shake the feeling that it was worse and he’s living in a comfort high to cope with it.

MacCready has always been afraid of ferals, even before that happened. It’s knowing they used to be people that terrifies him the most, the idea that there used to be a person inside and now there’s nothing but rot. That they’re just creatures, full of rage and hunger.

Usually when there’s a group of them Sole allows him to fall back and let them deal with it, much to his relief. The sounds they make, the shuffling of their feet on their ground. Everything comes back in vivid detail and he feels sick to his stomach. But this time it’s different. Maybe there’s one too many or maybe Sole is having an off day but they overwhelm them.

He hears Sole screaming as they’re wrestled to the ground, ferals biting and scratching through their clothes to get to their skin. He barely remembers what comes next, in his mind he’s trapped back with Lucy trying to save Duncan but when he comes to again his hands are bloody and torn.

The whole thing comes flooding back and he assumes the worst, reliving his nightmare again but he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder. Sole is behind him, standing behind the couch he’s suddenly in, and they’re clearly wounded but alright. He sees bitemarks on them and fights the urge to cry but the tears come anyway. At least this time he could save Sole before they got them.

Piper knows she’s not winning any popularity contests in Diamond City but she’s surprised at how many people seem opposed to Sole specifically. On a good night they’ll be left alone, maybe swap some stories with some random passerby, but more often than not someone has to voice their opinion.

Sole is used to it by now and tries to take it in stride. Theres plenty of drunk idiots at the Dugout Inn and there’s no reason to deal with all of them. This time, however, it doesn’t seem to be enough. Sole turns around to ask them to please leave but the person in question brings out a knife and stabs them in the abdomen.

Piper can’t help but to scream and rush to catch Sole who clutches their stomach and stumbles backwards with blood gushing out from their fingers. The person quickly scatters in the crowd but Piper doesn’t care. She screams for help and luckily people may dislike Sole but not that many dislike them enough to want to see them dead and someone gets a cloth to press on the wound.

Soles spends a few weeks in bed, resting and moaning everytime they turn around in bed and everytime Piper feels a sickening guilt spill over. It could’ve been worse. A knife in your stomach is more often than not lethal. She has to pay more attention, she owes that to Sole. Piper keeps thinking what life would be like if Sole died and everytime it makes her sob into her scarf.

Preston believes in the best of people and that no one is above another. Luckily Sole believes the same. They almost feel like a reward for all the horrible things he’s had to endure and he can’t tell them enough how glad he is they’re with him.

He doesn’t want to imagine the place he’d be in if it hadn’t been for them saving him. But when Sole neglects to tend to a minor wound that ends up infected, it’s all he thinks about. What if this is it? What if the universe is taking back his one good thing, the one glowing ember in the ashes?

Preston doesn’t know how to act. Things seem to move on in the rest of the world, people take care of themselves in the settlements that Sole built, but for Preston nothing is moving. He barely breathes. He sits by their bed and wipes the feversweat from their forehead, he talks to them when they’re in such deep sleep it looks like death.

Will he sit by their grave like this too?

Gage has seen Sole do some pretty fucked up things and come out of it more or less unharmed. It seems like nothing really cuts them deep enough to make a dent which seems perfect for a troublemaker.

Who would’ve known a simple antbite would be enough to make them fall deathly ill and lie in bed for several weeks? Their leg swells up to twice its size and it turns an awful purple shade while a fever rages in their body, making him think for sure that’s that. No coming back from that one.

He doesn’t really know how to feel about it. He hasn’t really cared enough about someone else before and the way he’s feeling now he doesn’t think he ever will. Gage is more angry than anything, but not at Sole. He’s furious that something as inane as a bugbite might take them out when they’ve done so many incredible things normal humans shouldn’t be able to.

But more than that he’s angry to think he might end up alone again. As pathetic as it makes him sound, he needs them. Their comfort, their company… their laughter. He sits outside their room most of the time, unable to face them but unable to leave. All he can do is hope that the chems he’s scavenged are enough.

[laurens-lil-fics]

Hallucinate - Matt Murdock x Powered! Reader Part 4

Series Summary: When members of a criminal organization start flooding precincts all over New York, turning themselves in, Daredevil must investigate to see what new player has them running for the hills.

Chapter Summary: A couple days of radio silence makes Matt worry his new partner may do something rash. His solution? A sushi dinner downtown. But an uninvited guest could turn the whole night around.

Word Count: 2597

Warnings: Major angst, cursing, kidnapping

Author’s note: I thought this chapter would be hella short but it is, in fact, hella long. Dont worry, yall will get some answers soon. 

The third time was, in fact, not the charm. Neither was the fifth, or the seventh.

By the eighth call, (Y/n) finally answered, mumbling a simple command to leave her alone before hanging up.

Matt sighed deeply, repressing the urge to throw the burner phone out the window and start scouring the city for her heart beat.

It had been two days since the incident at the docks. She had refused to let him try to get her to ‘her place,’ insisting she didn’t trust him with that information.

When he tried convincing her to let him treat her wound she only pushed him away, eventually using what little energy she had left to fly off and leave him in the shipping container where they had taken refuge.

Both Daredevil and Matt Murdock hadn’t heard from (Y/n), which understandably put him on edge. 

Karen insisted it was because he had taken the charade too far and let himself get close to her.

He insisted it was because someone powerful enough to rip a yacht in half was on the loose in Hell’s Kitchen, unsupervised and seething. 

She had the addresses of the warehouses Mr. Mackie tipped Matt off to, she could have easily gone on her own to find Blum and kill him. Shit, he was probably dead already.

Groaning to himself, Matt ran his fingers over the case file he was supposed to be reading for a fourth time. He was too distracted to focus on anything that didn’t have to do with (Y/n) or Blum or anyone else involved with the two of them.

By the time he had forced himself to finish the case file, it was already noon.

He reached for his personal phone this time, deciding a call from Matt Murdock was the better approach. On the third ring she answered.

“Hello...?” Her voice was raspy, worn, like she had been crying or screaming, maybe a mixture of both.

“Hey stranger...” he smiled to himself, hearing her chuckle over the line, “haven’t heard from you in a while... everything okay?”

He could’ve sworn he heard her mumble something about him being mindreader before she responded. “Yeah... I’ve just had a lot on my mind and I haven’t felt like talking to anyone...”

“Well if it’ll help, I’m free tonight... Maybe venting about it will help you feel better?” He offered, his fingers tapping anxiously against his desk as he awaited her response.

“I dunno...” she sighed, “It’s a lot... and I don’t wanna bore you with the details. I’m not one to dump my problems onto other people.”

That would explain her reluctance to work with him.

“It’s not ‘dumping your problems’ if I’m offering to let you vent to me... plus as a lawyer, any and all ability to get bored was beaten out of me at law school.”

(Y/n) chuckled again, then the line went quiet. Matt didn’t break the silence, hoping she was taking that time to consider his offer.

“Where did you wanna meet...?”

Matt smiled softly, leaning back into his chair. “Theres this sushi place downtown, it’s small but the foods good... you eat sushi?”

“When it’s in my budget, yeah.” she responded.

Matt assured her he would cover it, though it took some convincing on her part to allow it. Once he gave her the address, he hung up. Now he just had to come up with a line of questioning that would be the most inconspicuous. 

Matt arrived just a couple minutes before (Y/n), worried if he showed up late even by a minute it would rub her the wrong way.

Why was he so worried? He told himself she’d open up to him more if she was in a good mood; that she’d be less likely to kill someone if he put her in a good head space.

From his moist palms he knew he was lying to himself.

He heard her walking up the block towards the restaurant, but still acted surprised when she lightly bumped him before telling him hello.

He could hear the fabric of a skirt brushing over her knees, the light click of her kitten heels, and he could smell just a hint of sweet perfume lingering on her skin.

“It’s a little more casual than I expected...” she trailed off, leaning a bit more into Matt as they entered the restaurant. 

“I’m sure you look beautiful... no one’s really going to mind if you come in a bit overdressed.” he assured her. He realized he had called her beautiful once he felt the heat rise to her cheeks. Matt Murdock sucked at playing it cool.

The two sat down in the corner of the restaurant, neither really knowing how to start the conversation once they had ordered their drinks.

“Okay... then I’ll start...” Matt cleared his throat, leaning in closer to her, “I haven’t known you very long... but you’re very sweet... I enjoy spending time with you. I just want to do what I can to make sure you’re alright... and I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on with you...”

The waitress interrupted them, bringing them their drinks and jotting down their orders, (Y/n)’s heart hammering in her chest the whole time.

Once she had left, (Y/n) sighed softly began fiddling with the wrapper from her straw.

“You know how I told you I went to school for photo journalism?” the nod from Matt prompted her to continue. “I never graduated... When I was working on my degree one of my professors told me I’d have to go out and take pictures for a big story if I wanted a real job... so I did...”

Matt cocked an eyebrow at this, “And what did you find?” he pressed.

“Nothing good...” She mumbled, glancing around the room, “I found out this company that had branched into the city my college was in... it was doing a lot of really shady stuff... But once they found out what I had they made my life hell.”

She stopped there, why she refused to say more, Matt didn’t know.

“And that made it harder for you to attend classes?”

(Y/n) hummed in agreement, her voice wavering for a moment.

“Part of me knows I did the right think trying to find the truth... but I also know if I hadn’t seen what I did my life would be so much easier... I wanna go back to school, I wanna finish my degree, but no one will hire me without it and I can’t pay for school without money... I ruined my own life...”

“That’s not true... Hey, it’s not true.” He reached forward, searching for her hand for a moment before gently holding it in his. 

“You did what you thought was right... you didn’t make that company do whatever it is they did, you didn’t force their hands. You only tried to expose it so people wouldn’t get hurt.”

(Y/n) was silent, save for a couple soft sniffles here and there. Matt could tell she was trying to fight back tears, had he known this was under the hard exterior he had seen during his nights with her as Daredevil, he would have opted to talk with her somewhere more private.

“You’re a lawyer... What do you do when the bad people don’t get what they deserve...? What do you do when you know they’ve hurt people, that they deserve to be punished, but they just... they’re not?”

Matt would be a hypocrite to tell her it was best to turn the other cheek. Shit, he spent his nights in a devil costume beating up people who got away with whatever crimes they had committed. People who the justice system just couldn’t stop.

But he also couldn’t tell her to keep fighting them, that could set something off inside her head, something that would give her that good old Frank Castle mentality.

“I may not look it, but I’m a praying man... sometimes you just have to pray that someone else will step in and give those people what they deserve.” That was a happy middle, right...?

(Y/n) slowly pulled her hand away, the sound of her wiping at her eyes not lost on him. “Sometimes prayers aren’t enough...”

Matt shrugged his shoulders, a soft sigh escaping his parted lips. “You’re right... but it’s still important to have hope... otherwise what they did to you will eat you up for the rest of your life and you’ll never move on.”

She seemed to be pondering what he said, all while refusing to look at him. All that pain, all that anger, Matt knew as well as anyone it wouldn’t go away in one night. But maybe this was a step in the right direction.

This time, she reached over, taking hold of his and giving it a gentle squeeze. She murmured a small thank you, to which Matt returned the intimate gesture and brushed his thumb over her knuckles.

The two frantically adjusted themselves once their food arrived, Matt was a bit ashamed that he had lost him composure the way he did.

The conversation became more lighthearted as the meal progressed, a great weight having been lifted off the two of them once they finally addressed the elephant in the room, or at least the elephant that only Matt seemed to be aware about.

This whole time Matt had been trying to figure out why (Y/n) had been after this Blum character, trying to find a way to ease her out of feeling like she had to kill him. Now he had a vague sense of what had happened, and was comfortable knowing his words had some sort of impact on her.

“So you really took Greek to impress a girl...? Guys really do that?”

Matt laughed and scratched at the back of his head, feeling bashful at the mention of Elektra and the lengths he had gone to so he could win her over.

“Yes, guys do that, Ms. (L/n). You’d be surprised just how many guys do, I bet you dated a guy back in the day who did the same thing.”

(Y/n) snorted at his assumption and washed down her last bite of fish with a gulp of her water. “God, now that you mention it I actually-”

“(L/n)? (Y/n) (L/n)?”

A voice from across the room caught their attention, and curiously sent (Y/n)’s heart beat skyrocketing. Matt didn’t have a good feeling about this.

“Little (Y/n)!” The person exclaimed with glee. He approached (Y/n), something Matt imagined would have had her up and shoving this stranger away. Instead she sat there, petrified.

“Never expected to see you in New York, why didn’t you give your old uncle a call?” 

(Y/n) remained silent as this man put his hands on her, giving her an awkward side hug before glancing Matt’s way.

“Is this your new boyfriend?”

“No, he’s not-”

“I’m Marcus, Marcus Blum, (Y/n)’s uncle.” The man introduced himself. Matt felt his blood run cold.

“Matthew Murdock.” His response was curt and to the point. He knew he should have put on a facade, pretended to not sense (Y/n)’s discomfort and played the role of the oblivious date.

But right now (Y/n) was a time bomb, and Matt would do anything to avoid lighting that fuse.

“Mr. Murdock, would you mind if I borrowed my niece for a moment? We need to catch up on family matters.”

Before Matt could even respond, Blum had his hold on (Y/n) and was leading her towards an empty corner of the restaurant.

The worst part was, she willingly stood from her chair, staring at Matt the whole way there like a fish out of water, pulled from the ocean.

“Don’t try anything,” Blum began, all traces of his cheery tone thrown to the wind, “one wrong move and you’ll be pumped full of lead in seconds.”

That meant there were people in the restaurant who worked for him, who had been watching them, probably listening in. They must had been very efficient, Matt hadn’t heard anything suspicious since their arrival.

“They’d never pull the triggers fast enough... not fast enough to save you, at least...” She murmured, pulling her arm from his grasp.

“I thought we’d agree you’d never come back to New York, (Y/n)... That your snooping days were over.”

“I don’t know what your talking about-”

“Don’t play dumb with me!” he snapped, checking his tone once the few people in the restaurant who weren’t on his payroll looked in their direction. “Who else could rip a yacht in half like that...? Who else would send my people scrambling into jail cells?”

“Maybe you pissed off the wrong person... and they’ve come for revenge... Maybe all the people I found years ago have returned as spirits... come to settle their scores.” She grumbled. Though her voice was level and her chest puffed, her heart beat was drowning everything out for Matt.

Blum leaned in close, whispering in her ear. “If you have any sense... you’ll leave New York tonight. Otherwise your boyfriend is going to learn first hand about everything you’ve lied to him about.”

(Y/n) states silent, her strong stature faltering as she looked away from him and towards Matt.

“I’m glad we could have this talk...”

With that, Blum brushed past her and sat at the table he had been occupying. It suddenly felt like all eyes in the restaurant were on Matt and (Y/n) once she returned to their table. 

To (Y/n)’s insistence, they payed the bill and hastily left the restaurant.

Roughly 30 minutes after (Y/n) left Matt at his apartment, having said their goodbyes, he received a call from her on the burner phone. The second he answered, she was rambling a mile a minute in his ear.

“If we’re going to make a move it has to be tonight, can you meet me at the warehouse on the east side?”

Her voice had lost its steely edge, it was clear she had cried during the walk to wherever she was staying since she wasn’t bothering to mask her voice at this point.

“Slow down, we need to make a proper plan of attack before we go in there-”

“There’s no time for a plan!” she interrupted, “They’re threatening innocent people, people who know me! We need to find Blum and take him out before it’s too late!”

Matt could hear keys rustling in the background, as if she was struggling with a door before bursting into her room. 

“(Y/n), let’s just think about this. If we slow down we have a better chance of catching Blum.” Matt, who was preoccupied with going to his closet for his suit, hadn’t even noticed his slip up.

The line was dead silent for a moment, Matt almost called out to her, nervous the call had dropped.

“...How do you know my name...?”

Fuck.

“A-are you with them? How the fuck do you know my name?!” 

Matt began to panic, trying to think up an excuse on the fly, something convincing.

“Answer me, asshole! How do you know my-!” 

The sound of the phone clattering to the floor had Matt wincing away from the speaker pressed to his ear. What followed was the sound of something heavy thumping right beside the device. His knuckles turned white from how hard he gripped the flip phone, realization dawning on him once he realized what had happened.

All he heard next was the sound of heavy footsteps approaching the phone before the line went dead.

Tag List:

@sisterwinchesterwriter

[greeneggsandhann]

Hey guys. I’m Hannah. I am an Alcoholic and an Addict. Both Alcoholic and Addict are capitalized because I look at my addiction and alcoholism as an asset to my life rather than an expense. Here is my journey:

I know exactly where and when my disease started. It was 2010 and I was 16 years old. Some junior girls invited me to a sleepover with them. My friend and I have never drank before, so we thought this was going to be the perfect occasion, somewhere we were safe and somewhere we couldn’t get caught,...and if we did get caught by our parents, we wouldn’t actually get into any trouble other than a lecture or a very intense hangover. So, we all sat in a circle with two water bottles one filled with strawberry vodka and one filled with orange vodka. They taught and demonstrated how to take a “shot.” Step 1) Put a little bit of koolaid in your mouth Step 2) Drink the vodka Step 3) Chug the rest of the koolaid After I took that drink I remember my lips went numb along with my teeth. I thought this was crazy and I loved every feeling of it. We each had about 3 shots and within the hour we all were laughing and had a pretty good buzz going on. Things kept coming in and out for me. One minute I would be upstairs and the next I was downstairs trying to take more shots with my friend Jo. I finished the bottles and passed out in my own throw up. The next day when I woke up I was filled with shame and guilt because this poor girl had to clean up after me all night. I was mortified and embarrassed I couldn’t hang like the rest of them. Also, I felt like shit. Of course, I never would have known at that point in time that my brain functions differently than other peoples brain. In my 16 year old head I never thought I could be an alcoholic just by that one time.

I moved away from home for my first time and tried out college. I made up this huge bullshit story to my doctor about how I needed adderall to help me focus better in school. That was all I had to say and BOOM wish granted. The world in my hands. I could do so much more and actually enjoy anything I was doing while on it. About a month after I had gotten that script I dropped out of school and found a passion in the food service industry. Where I moved up fast. I Became a bartender and then moved up to management by the time I was 21. I was working long hours, close-open shifts. My tolerance with adderall built up. And I needed more and more to make it through the day. Eventually, my script lasted less than a week and that is when I started spending hundreds of dollars on adderall a month. When I didn’t have the money and couldn’t take it, I became a completely different person. I was irritable and lazy, always tired and pretty much careless. I remember thinking out loud one day to a friend about how much money I am spending on it and how I felt like I didn’t have any passion or care about anything when I was on it. But I didn’t think that was a stopping point I just wanted it to go back to how it used to be where I could take one per day and go to sleep at night without having to feel wired.

About a year of being an assistant manager, I was often tardy for my shifts. My best friend in the whole world fired me. It was something I needed. I needed to get out of the industry and move back home with my mom and save up some money. So that is what I tried to do. I stopped calling my doctor for the adderall because I knew it was killing me. That was when I started picking up pints of vodka. One day I had missed work because I got too fucked up during the day and passed out. I woke up to my mom screaming at me. So I got in my car and was on my way to my aunts. On the way I was hit by a huge SUV. I was still drunk and didn’t have my seat belt on and passed out in the car for a few minutes. When I woke up there were so many lights, firetrucks, an ambulance. My head was gushing blood. At my window there was the couple who were in the other car. I started screaming and crying and they were the sweetest couple ever. They hugged me and asked if they could pray with me. So we prayed. I was off in the ambulance next and asked them to take me to Mercy Health hospital because there must be some God there waiting for me. That happened to be the nurse who clearly knew what had happened but refused to do any blood work on me that could check my BAC. She was an angel and stitched up my head with no judgement whatsoever.

My next brilliant idea was to move to Detroit with my cousin, Jewell. Find a new scenery away from everything kinda like a fresh start for me. I was doing pretty good there. I didn’t have very much money to drink and no adderall. I found a good job at the airport. Then started bartending again and suddenly had good meeting so I started drinking more and more. Started buying pints every night to just chill and have a little fun and something to look forward to. Never really thought it was a big deal, but I never told my cousin about it either because she would be all weird and try to tell me I shouldn’t be drinking so much and watching my every move. So it was my little secret. Work was going well. Longer shifts were getting more difficult to me and I couldn’t understand why. I started getting really dizzy and felt like I was going to faint. My hands would shake and I was sweat profusely. I thought I had vertigo or something like that. Not once did I blame it on the alcohol.

The year went by and I moved out. My car broke down. Back at home with my mom and my brother. Drinking a lot. Having mental breakdowns often. Haunting dreams. That brought me to Pine Rest where I was an impatient for mental illness and drug abuse. I went into this facility thinking “its unrealistic I am never going to have a drink again.” That kind of attitude. When I left there I felt so good for the first time in a while.

About a month later I got wasted while working. I was taking xanax and sneaking shots while I was working. I got sent home. Probably fired. I drove and smashed my brand new 2015 honda civic into a parked car. Tried to start my car and get away. But my car was too smart and notified the police. I blew .31 and was still functional (kinda) So i went to Jail, and I tried every kind of way to get out. That includes faking a seizure and scratching so hard my wrists would bleed. Obviously, that didn’t work. I was too embarrassed and did not want to face my guilt and shame to call someone, so I didn’t. ohhhhh but they found me. and brought the whole litter to pick me up. (aunts cousins niece brother mom) I was offered to go to rehab that day and I told them that jail was rehab enough,

One month after that incident I was on my way back from Detroit I was feeling really sad and depressed and I had a lot of thoughts about suicide in my head. I was drinking the whole way back and made the selfish decision to speed up and hit a semi going 85 mph on the freeway. I didnt know what the plan was in that moment, I didn’t know if I actually wanted to die or just wanted a scare. It was so selfish and I cannot believe I would ever put other people at risk. I am so ashamed to this day. The cop asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital or get breathalyzed. I choose the hospital. my BAC was 5X over the legal limit. and when my aunt and my mom showed up I cried and told them I was ready to go to rehab and I needed help. The next day I was checked into Brighton rehab center for two weeks.

Rehab was amazing. It is not a bad place to be. Its a safe and comfortable place to share your emotions and to withdraw without any judgement. I made life long friends and learned so much about recovery there.

Right after that trip I continued going to my SMART Recovery meetings and had just moved into a sober living house. I was doing really well I had gotten a job, learned how the bus system works. I learned so damn much in that month of being there. But another Relapse happened. It was a 4 day relapse. This time I was DONE.

I made my second trip to Brighton rehab center for two weeks. I knew this was not enough, After that, I admitted myself into the Sanford house for 44 days of rehab. I was doing well and I was nervous about leaving because I would actually have to start connecting with people at meetings etc. I really wanted to give AA a try so i started attending meetings. I found a sponsor right away who is truly amazing. She has taught me so much and guided me through the steps. I started going to YPAA meetings and connecting with young people in recovery. I have made so many life long friends through all of this. I had finally found a hope that I never thought could exist. I know that this is still early recovery and some people might say it’s my “pink cloud” but I have seen so much God in my life right now. Finally, I feel free and I feel actual Joy and contentment.

Being an Alcoholic and an Addict is an asset to my life. Because without this disease I would not be the strong and hopeful woman I am today, It is so amazing to be able to say I am Proud of me.

Long post. Thanks for reading. If you or anyone you know are struggling with addiction and need some support or an ear. PLEASE do not hesitate to contact in my messages on here.

Thanks again for reading. KEEP COMING BACK IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT AND IT SUCKS IF YOU DONT

ONE DAY AT A TIME

[faangirl101]

Call girl, Part eight)Mob!Tom holland x reader

CALL GIRL MASTERLIST

Mobster Tom Holland x Call girl reader

Summery:  I worked for Tom holland. He wasn’t my boss though. I worked for a huge illegal company in south london with prostitutes, or as other would say “call girls”. I really don’t know how i ended up as one, it was just the only way to get enough money. In the end it was hard getting out of this kind of business. I was stuck with one of the most dangerous mobsters of london, of freaking england even. He had so much blood on his hands just the thought of it made me shiver. And i was his call girl. This was not going to end well.

WARNINGS: PLEASE READ THESE, post assualt, sexuel assualt, past rape, crying, bruises and bloods, Quite graphic, dont read this if you are a victim of sexuell assualt or is sensitve of it… Thanks!

“He is quite the man”, Tony arched a well trimmed eyebrow behind his colored glasses “a true alpha”. I stretched against my bounds, my brain pounding in a flash of anger. I wanted to scream at him, how much i hated him. How much i wanted to kill him in his sleep. But all that left my mouth was a failed beginning of a sentence. “You and Tom is a cute remake”, his index finger lifted my jaw until our faces were centimeters apart “but you never fuck with the original”. He blew a stream of hot air against my fluttering eyelashes. Smelt like mint mouthwash and citrus gum. A smell and taste i was well aware i once told him i enjoyed. Everything he did, even his smell, was like a hard slap across the cheek. “phss”, i snorted mockingly “original? oh hunie, i had more and better clients before you, you're nowhere close being a original, Steve rogers is much closer to that”. I knew bringing up his rival was a sensitive spot as i saw his pupils being swallowed up in a layer of dangerous shadow. He tensed his jaw and once again got dangerously close “you're out on deepwater, sweetheart”. Two can play this game. I clicked my tongue in a teasing manner “good thing i'm a good swimmer”. Tony smiled a wicked grin, showing some wrinkles exposing his age. His thumb swiped over my inner lip “you may drown, what's your puty arms compared to my boat”. I gasped, allowing my mouth to fall slightly open. His thumb came closer to the inside of my lips, the wetness pressing against his thumb. He was intrigued by my sudden obligation, his  eyes caught at my bruised lips taking his finger further into the wet heat. “ A Boat, i mumbled, earning a growl when my lips almost took in his thumb “will not protect you from what lies beneath the water surface”. Then i slammed my teeth down around his finger, digging into the sensitive skin. He roared escaping my presence with a drag of his arm. Blood trickled down my chin, the iron making me nauseous. His other hand hugged his thumb in pain, his eyes open wide. I spit out the awful iron taste “so that's why they call you iron man?”. He growled, reminding me of a primal animal “no, this is why”. A quick slam against my face, barely nothing, but worked. I hissed in pain as i felt my nerves screaming in pain from the hard surface of tonys rings. I was in trouble, but really, when was i not in trouble?

Red lipstick, rose petals, heartbreak

I was his Marilyn Monroe

Brown eyes, tuxedo, fast cars

A James Dean on the low

Dean on the low

“Hurry up!”, the driver shot Tom an annoyed look as he hit the gas pedal hard. The car thrusted forwards and slammed with a whine over the road. “Are you sure about this?”, Harrisons looked at the security team in the two black cars behind him. He couldn't see them behind the colored glass but knew to well how they were grasping onto an ak 47. “I have to”, Tom checked Harrisons face in the rearview-mirror with a meaningful look “Tony has played this game far to long but now he got personal and took it one step too far”. Harrison slumped back into his seat, He can't believe he agreed to this. “Sir”, The driver slowed down the tires whining one last time up the driveway “we are here”. Tom nodded, licked his dry lips before forcing the car door open. “Keep it moving”, He uttered over his shoulder to the security who just stepped out the car. It was a warehouse dressed in stone walls in the middle of nowhere. The perfect hiding spot. He had to be here. “Let's move inside”, he muttered as he heard the clappering of the securities shoes “carefully and quick”. Harrisons looked at Tom “i'm coming with you”. Tom arched a dark eyebrow “are you sure?”. Harrison smirked as he quoted Tom “I have to”.

I ask you, "What's the matter?"

You say "Oh, it's nothing at all."

Heart's racing outta control

And you knew that I couldn't let it go

You used to be this boy I loved

And I used to be this girl of your dreams

Who knew the course of this one drive injured us fatally?

You took the best years of my life

I took the best years of your life

Felt like love struck me in the night

I prayed that love don't strike twice

“i think that's your knight in shining armor”, Tony smirked, holding up a finger for me to listen. I held my breath, let myself be soaked in the silence. Distance voices was filling the empty cold room, echoing from the depths of the building. Tears was threatening as i knew it was Tom, i just knew. Tony clapped his hands together, a metal oise of his rings colliding together. “Let's do this”, he smirked, his eyes glimmering in mischief “the stark way”.  Silence, the steps were gone as if they all had stopped at the same time. Maybe they were lost, of course i would still be saved, right?

All my hopes crashed to the grounds at the sound of guns being fired. I would be stuck here, in the embrace of Tony stark. “Oh god”, I screamed, my dry throat aching in pain “i'm here, Tom!”. Tony grasped onto my pounding cheeks, pushed them together in a violent pout. “Shut your whore mouth”, he snapped and looked me up and down with pure disgust “before i put it to better use”. A shiver scattered down my spine, leaving a feeling of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I had to save myself, if no one else could save me i had to do it myself. Question is, how would i get out of the bounds. I would need something sharp, something strong enough to cut through expensive ropes. Something like Tony´s rings. He was currently caught up in listening for Tom. Maybe, somehow i could get the ring of him without him noticing? No it was impossible, they were sitting tight around every finger, almost stopping the blood flow.

My mind got interrupted by the fact that the door flew down. The door hat been kicked down, ripping it of its pipes and throwing in violently against the italien rug. Een if i tried i couldn't see who had kicked it down since the thump of the door had coursed dust to cover my vision. It was like a thick fog, covering the doorway. Tony took this to his advantage and thanks to the dust had some time to hide. The fog split, allowing me to see clearly. Tom.

I could have cried in happiness if it wasn't the fact that Tony was still in the room. Tom lowered his gun as his face split up in worry and relief. “Y/n”, He rushed forward and was beside me in a second. But i didn't want him there. He needed to leave. I tried to tell him, i swear, but i couldn't utter  a word. Tears was thickening up and blocking my airway not allowing a word past my lips. “Please”, it was barely nothing, Tom caught it but not in the way a wanted. He fished up his pocket knife with ease, his jaw going stern when he saw the dried blood around my hairline. “I'm going to kill him”, he muttered as he sawed through the ropes careful not to hurt me. One rope free, falling down the ground under me. I sighed in relief, tears now falling freely. The pounding pain around my wrist distracted me from the reminder Tony was still somewhere in the room, well until.

Pang.

A shattered breath.

A silent scream.

Tom fell to the ground, grasping onto his chest. Blood sippered through his fingers, dripping down his thighs. “Oh god”, i sobbed, reaching my free hand out “oh please no, Tom”. A laugh, a sinister one “Tom holland”. Tony emerged from the corner of the room, his face swallowed up in shadows. As unotiable as i could i took the pocket knife from Toms blood soaked palm. I couldn't care less when the egg of the knife accidentally cut my skin under my ropes, i just needed to be free. As the ropes fell so did i. Down the floor, next to my lover. “baby”, he groaned, looking past his thick eyelashes to my tear striped face “i'm sorry”. I grabbed onto his face, my thumb catching a tear as it fell. My pressed my forehead against his, trying to hold back the sobs colliding with my trembling body. “Please”, i crawled closer, feeling his skin become closer under my shivering touch “please don't leave me”. His lips touched mine in a chaste kiss filled with promises. “Never”, he groaned in pain “i… i love you, Y/n”. It felt like my heart was bursting, broken in pieces. I love you to.

I wanted to say it, i wanted to say it after all these months. Admitting my one true weakness.  But i couldn't. Tears fell free as i stumbled over my words. I was not going to tell him. I couldn't, not on his deathbed. I wasn't going to let him die in my arms, the man i loved. Loved, there was that word again. I pressed my lips hard against his cold one's, allowing myself to express the love i felt for him. The feeling that had haunted me for months. “You will be alright”, i mumbled, don't know if i was telling him or myself.

“Do you know how it feels now”, Tony growled, three steps away from us “how it feels to be betrayed, to sit there in shame knowing you can't change anything”. I gasped, anger clouding my vision in blood red. I stood up, my legs wobbling under me barely providing any help. “Tony, please”, i begged, my voice husky “please, help him. Il do anything, become yours if that's what you wish”. I could hear a distance groan  from Tom. “Now”, Tony smiled, showing of  his gold tooth “that is something i like hearing”. He grasped onto my bruised arm with a stern grip. I cried out in pain, sobbing. “To bad”, i looked up at him behind tear stained cheeks “that's not going to happen”. is face scrunched up annoy before splitting hin shock. His blown eyes looked down his body, following my arm down to my hand. To the knife i had deeply buried into his stomach. “You fucking bitch”. He groaned, trying to move out of my reach. He stumbled back into a wall, me being quick behind. “no”, I smiled as i twisted the knife to the side earing a gasp “youre the fuckin bitch”. Then i stepped back, watching him slide down the wall without my support holding him up. Suddenly, i remembered Tom. I stumbled down onto the ground, crawling my way over to him, ignoring how my body was screaming in pain. “Tom”, i sobbed, shaking my head “oh please,god, no”. He smirked, his face gone pale and almost bluish. He was dying. He was dying. “Tom”, i pressed my face into the crook of his neck “i love you”. He dropped his head onto my shoulder, pressing a cold kiss against my neck “i know”. Then his hand fell, his body going still under me. I stayed quiet, only hearing my rapid heartbeat. My hand wandered up his thigh to wrap my finger around his wrist. I waited, one second passed then two. Then i cried again. My hand dropping his. No pulse. Thomas stanley Holland had broken his promise. He had left me.

Die the moment

I'm prepared to die in the moment

I'm prepared to die in the moment

I'm prepared to die in the moment

'Cause even forever ain't forever

I swear by the moment

'Cause together ain't promise forever

I'm prepared to die in the moment

TAGLIST:

theopiateclub rofromtheashes  dumb-bitch-stole-my-nutella lafayettes-baguettes-1 mikahjussi littletinydevil  upsidedownwaffle  supernaturallover2002  lightlikearose   pignolithecookie  awkwardviccake  smexylemony tomblrholland  muufffiiiiiiiiinnnnnn casualprincess77 theroleplayer-gameaddiction   ridingbuckysthighsforaliving  avahodge l4life  sataninsatin joyfullyjenny   andreuskystuff pineapple-wolfs-blog tooturntskyy marvelismylifffe regina-aqua neverforgettommyandhaz tomblrholland thestrangewaterbaby bronte-niven smexylemony 

[helloiliketits]

There is only one Spiderman (Peter Parker x Reader)

Summary: Reader is just a normal kid. Like you and me. Friends with the one and only Pooter Porker Peter Parker and just really feisty and find it difficult to bolt away from danger. Which almost gives our little lovestruck Spider a heart attack more often than not.

(This has been in my drafts since last year so its outdated, also english is not my native language)

Reader: Of any color

Warnings: Just me kissing ass because I love you, some fluff, some angst but not too much because I dont play like that, also there are some vine references, and the words “b*tch”

(I listened to Tchaikovsky while writing this and honestly each piece syncs so well with this gif, bless the creator)

Sure, he may be a web slinging superhero on the side, but Peter Parker was still a little nerd and had crushes on cute people like everybody else.

Specially someone as cute as you. No one could resist you. Not even our cliche school bitch bully, Flash Thompson. You were a bit of an introvert and would rather spend your time reading fanfics on Tumblr and having some fun times with a few friends but you did have some sudden bursts of confidence here and there. 

It all started when you were new to the Midtown High School. Being a new student already gets you ton of attention. Pair that with your incredible personality and you might have just swallowed a magnet because of how much people are attracted to you. Whether you like it or not. You were practically the Ruby Rose of Midtown High. Everyone liked you instantly. Boys, girls, plants, even a god damn piece of paper would NOT politely detach itself from your shoe during Science class and you’re pretty sure you heard a girl in the room say “Me asf” while you tried to yank it off as the class just basked in your pure presence. You had people feeling ~some type of way~ okay?

So it comes as no surprise that Flash Thompson was equally attracted to you and wanted to date you even if it’s just for the rights to brag because *rolls eye* Flash. You on the other hand, had heard enough about his shenanigans through some of your friends and thought it was best to avoid him.

But isn’t fate a comical thing? You’re on your way to your next class and there he is, shoving our precious cinnamon roll, Peter into a locker while Ned watches anxiously. Sad to see his friend stuffed into a locker while also not wanting to go through the same thing. Peter just sighs and does nothing while Flash and his minions are tucking his legs into the tiny space of the locker which probably doesn’t even belong to Peter, judging from another kid standing next to the group of jocks, obviously not there to witness a "cool" fight but also not friends with Peter enough to care about his state right now. "Guys can't you stuff him in somebody else's locker?" the guy huffs, but generally does nothing to stop them. You guess it's because he doesn't want to get hip checked into the small space with Peter as if they're playing "seven minutes in heaven" (but it lasts as long as it takes for someone to finally rescue their asses). So, you decide to step in. "Flash!" you holler. That definitely gets his attention and he turns around quickly, running his palms through his hair to "style" it and leans against the now closed locker door, grinning. As if there isn’t a very antsy Peter Parker just inside, praying to whoever was listening, that he make it to AP Physics in time.

“Y/N!” he grins, opening his arms for a hug. “Cut the shit, Thompson of a bitch. Let that kid out,” you test. There’s a mix of “ooh”s and “aah”s from the students in the hallway as Flash’s smile falters for a brief second, obviously not used to being talked to like that, but he just crosses his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow.

“Why don’t you run back to snow white, dwarf-o,” one of his friend teases but before you can get the “I am the perfect height to punch you in the nuts, and I will,” Flash collects his ‘bros’ with a “woah-woah, guys” and bangs on the locker twice and leaves with his group. But not before giving you a wink (which you scoff at).

The hustle and bustle of the hallway continues as the onlookers suddenly get hit with the reminder that they need to be in class. You do too. So, you rush to the locker and throw it open, to let a very confused Peter Parker out. You see that the inside of the locker is... well, hygienically challenged but that’s a teenage boy’s with god knows how many dirty socks and raunchy magazines buried inside so you avert your focus to his scrunched eyebrows and his mouth hanging open instead.

Don’t get him wrong, he’s very grateful but also slightly mad at you for being cute and nice! How dare you be so attractive!? God damn it, Y/N! Now his attraction has increased tenfold! He mutters a faint “Thanks”, flustered beyond his wits and you give him a kind smile that has his heart beating all the way up to his head. He’s damn near frozen.

.And now that’s the origin story of you two. Of course, Peter couldn’t keep his eyes and distance away from you and would “observe” you whenever you were in the room. 

Which was almost always. 

Because he followed you there. 

Which Ned states as “stalking” but Peter describes it as “checking her out up on her”.  [Yeah, ok, Pete!1!1!] 

Much to Peter’s delight, you guys practically lived in the same building so Peter had twelve hundred (and more) excuses to walk you home. Ofcourse, Spider duties remained but that was more of an after-school activity. And it’s not like the neighborhood was jam packed with crime 24x7. Sometimes his “job” required simply patrolling and the most action he saw was a woman dump a milkshake on her (no longer) boyfriend’s head.

One slightly unfortunate day, as you and Peter were trudging up the streets, complaining about school, a VERY clear, sharp scream of a woman echoed nearby! Now THAT’S a job for Spiderman! But, like, you were RIGHT there! So it’s not like he could rain drop, drop top, roll and whip out his spider suit in the middle of the street, kiss you on the cheek and zoom zoom away,

You both exchanged a brief, wide eyed gaze of absolute shock as you both ran in separate direction, wasting no time. By the time Spiderman had arrived to the scene, there was no woman but there was a homeless guy holding a knife towards none other than our lovely protagonist! (das you, bruh) 

“Go for it, shit! I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!” You shout, as Spiderman skrrt skrrts his web and webs the bad guy to the wall before he can touch your spaghett, landing on his feet infront of you with HALF a mind to grab you by the shoulders and shake you like a drink being made by a barista, the other half of him wanted to reach out and absolutely fecken high five you! “Er, good job. Go home, it isn’t safe here” is all he can choke out in his fake “I came from the mid-west, howdy, I’m the man!” accent before catapulting himself off the alleyway [its always alleyways, God, they’re the hub for all bad shit! So predictable too! Take your mugging somewhere unexpected, man! Throw the heroes off guard! Do you even business, bro?]

Back in your apartment building, as you turn the corner practically skipping, a pair of surprisingly strong hands suddenly grab you and pull you so hard, that all your hair holds a Met Gala at the front of your face, curtaining your view from the one and only Peter Dorker, “Are you crazy! Why’d you do that!?” he yells at you

Completely not giving a feck about not giving out spoilers (*cough* tom *cough*) Why’d you do WHAT!? He wasn’t even there! What’s he talking about!

But right now all you’re focused on is the fact that this random ass bish is grabbing your shoulders like some fecken tentacle and- “You ran away! Someone had to do something!”

He barks, “WOMAN I WAS TRYIN  That’s Spiderman’s job! When you hear trouble, you turn and you run the other way! There’s people who will handle this kind of-”

But before he can get another lecture in, “I helped a lady today! There’s only ONE spiderman, Peter! And he can’t be there for us all the time! It’s NOT his duty- He is NOT obligated to cleanse the streets of Queens! Our work is NOT to turn the other way and hope somebody else does the dirty work! He’s here to HELP and we need to PARTICIPATE! We need to do OUR part WHEN we CAN!” you shout, face all red and sweaty, huffing out, trying not to crack into a smile, proud at yourSELF because damn, that speech was GOOD. You huff, contemplating if you should let him EAT it or just go to your room and head bang over the fact that you got noticed by Spiderman! 

Taking one last look at a very open mouthed Peter, you walk around him and into your apartment as he just stands there, frozen like a chicken pizza at Walgreens. 

He lets out a long, loud breath! How could you be so STUBBORN! This was for YOUR safety! Unless you’re on top of Nick Fury’s “to recruit into Avengers” list, you don’t just go bursting into alleyways in the name of saving people! That’s DANGEROUS! He can’t lose you to some heroic-shit-gone-wrong!

But Peter also felt RELIEVED! For the first time in YEARS, he felt content! You were right! There is only one Spiderman! And no he can’t be there to fight crime every second of the day! And while that ate Peter alive every waking moment of his life, he was also glad that there were good natured people like you in this world! Ones who stood up for somebody and didn’t wait for somebody else! He felt a lot better, realizing that he didn’t have to do this alone! He didn’t have to do it all! He wasn’t expected to do it all!

Peter walked to his apartment, head lowered, hiding his grin. God, he loved you!

[inkstainedfanfics]

The Inevitability of Our Story

Request: I was listening to Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis himself and I couldn't help but think about Newt while listening to it idk its such a Newt song and then i thought of you and well, it sounds like a possible fic idea ;) ;) I know you have so many requests but i just wanted to put this out there, also to tell you that these kinds of songs remind me of Newt and then you and your amazing stories. Anyway, have a good day!

Word Count: 3,979

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Requested by @dont-give-a-bother but also tagging @red-roses-and-stories @caseoffics @myrtus-amongst-the-stars @ly--canthrope @thosefantasticbeast2 @benniesgalaxy @studyforthreehands @whatinbenaddiction​

                                                  I. For

Newt’s quill scratches against the parchment and he mumbles words under his breath, reading over his manuscript. Thunder outside rumbles, raindrops thump against the glass panes, and you plod over to Newt, dropping into the open spot next to him. He hardly notices as your forearm brushes his lightly, or the way you hum softly before tapping the back of his hand.

“Newt?”

“Yes?” He mumbles, eyes still scanning over his messy handwriting.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes?” The word is distracted, his attention only half on you. This manuscript is important. He’s almost finished editing his chapter on bowtruckles and other leafy beasts; best friend or not, he doesn’t want to pause his work until he gets through the last page of it.

“Why do mooncalves only emerge during full moons?”

He doesn’t look up from the parchment. “They have an affinity for it.”

“But why?” You question, resting your chin in one hand as you play with the leaf of a potted plant sitting on the table.

Newt glances up at you, wary. “You really want to know?”

You nod, lips puckered in confusion as the leaf turns a shade of blue.

His heart twists, chest warming as he sets down his quill, and Newt shifts, uncomfortable with the sudden change of his heart’s rhythm. “It’s only a theory right now.”

You meet his eyes and smile. “That’s all right. I’d still like to hear what you think.”

Newt tries to ignore the feeling in his chest. “Could it wait a couple of minutes? I’ve almost finished here.”

“I’ll wait.” You say it with another smile, reaching out to squeeze his arm gently.

Though he was unaware of it, Newt has been on the precipice of falling for quite some time. Only a lack of free time had prevented him from considering this, considering asking you on a date. It would really only take a gesture, a small nudge, to knock him off that cliff, to convince him to ask you out.

Your soft squeeze of his arm is that nudge.

He lifts his quill again, throat dry, fully prepared to edit more, but Newt can’t tear his eyes away from the gentle slope of your nose or the way you narrow your eyes at the color-changing leaf.

Three pages of the chapter still need to be edited, but Newt flips the notebook shut, taking a deep breath, praying the strange feeling will disappear after a good night’s rest. “The moon’s a signal to them.”

                                                       II. I

“I’m not kidding you. I really saw him drop the whole bag of them in front of her.” Newt chuckles, taking another sip of his hot chocolate. “His girlfriend?”

“Yep. Poor thing couldn’t say a thing, she was so shocked.” You snort. “Not that I blame her. I’m not sure I’d know how to react to my boyfriend carrying those around.

Newt wonders if he imagines the shy glance you send toward him at the word boyfriend.

You notice the drink in his hand, how empty the mug is. “Want another one?”

Newt swirls the rest of the liquid as he considers your question. The clock reads four fifty-five in the morning. A mistake, staying up so late when he has a meeting at eight with his publisher, the person that’s deciding just how much publicity his book will be given, who it will be marketed to, and how many copies will initially be printed.

He really should be well-rested, should say no and head to bed, managing to earn at least a few hours of sleep before the meeting, but you’re sitting cross-legged across from him in the living room, fuzzy socks falling around your ankles, hands wrapped around a steaming mug of homemade hot chocolate, tendrils of hair continuously falling into your eyes no matter how many times you shove them away.

Beautiful.

“Another would be wonderful.”

You beam at him as you reach for his mug, any nerves, imagined or otherwise, disappearing from your gaze. “Great. D’you remember Laura Zwellger? From potions?”

“Not particularly, no.” He murmurs, watching you pad across the room to fill his mug.

“The one with the penchant for explosives? No? Really?” Sighing, you shake your head. “You don’t remember how she nearly destroyed the entire room by mixing two potions together?”

Newt frowns, trying to remember, but shakes his head. “No, doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.”

You roll your eyes as you step toward him. “Do you remember anything from Hogwarts?”

He reaches out, taking the mug you hand him. “Well, yes.”

“And what,” you ask, as you sit across from him again, “would that be?”

“I remember you.”

The words bring back that shyness, and Newt wonders yet again if he’s imagining it or if he’s really having this effect on you. “Everything?”

He swallows his nerves and smiles at you, though his eyes drop to the floor. “Of course. Hard to forget the most important person, isn’t it?”

                                                    III. Can’t

It’s been two months since Newt’s last meeting with his publisher. He’s busy in his case, working on a chapter involving doxies and their tendency to tear about anything soft when you burst in through the door, shouting and positively terrifying both him and the doxies.

Before he can ask what has you screaming like you are, he’s wrapped up in your arms, breath rushing from his chest as you throw yourself against him.

“I did it!”

He stumbles back a step, arms wrapping around your waist to keep you from falling, an instinct. Yet, when he regains his footing, his arms don’t move.

“Sorry, what?”

You nuzzle your face into his jacket, grinning. “I did it.”

“Escaped a blast-ended skrewt?”

“No,” you say, looking up at him and making a face. “That problem with the growth potion I’ve been working on? I solved it.”

“What did it take?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “No congratulations? No ‘I knew you could do it, you utter genius’? Not even a simple ‘good job’ from you?”

Newt’s aware of the hug, how long it’s gone on, how you should’ve stepped away long ago, but you’re still here, still hanging onto him, and he doesn’t want you to let go.

He smiles, voice quiet. “Congratulations.”

                                                      IV. Help

“I um, have something for you.”

Newt looks over his shoulder at you, stopping the dicing of the lacewings. You’re standing in the doorway of his shed, hands behind your back, leaning against the frame and smiling at him, but your smile isn’t bright like usual, isn’t beaming. Instead, it’s small, flickering, and your eyes dart around the room almost as if… as if you’re nervous.

Newt sets down his knife and turns, grabbing a towel to wipe away the sweat that accumulated on his forehead. “If it’s another letter from the ministry, I don’t think I want to see it right now.”

You smile at the joke, one stemming from the various letters begging him to return to his office job. “No, no good news like that, I’m afraid.”

“What a shame.”

“I hope these are better than that.” With that, you push away from the frame, stepping forward and handing Newt a plate.

At least twenty cookies sit on the plate, stacked in neat little piles of two. It’s clear the amount of work you put into them.

Newt blinks in surprise. They’re his favorite kind. He doesn’t even remember mentioning they’re his favorite, or how it would’ve been brought up, nor you mentioning that you wanted to make anything for him. He looks back up at you, curious. Could you really…?

“I made them myself.” You offer when he says nothing. You refuse to meet his eyes, instead looking anywhere else in the room, your foot tapping a steady beat.

“Thank you.” He knows he should say something else, but what else is there to say when he wants only to press a kiss to your forehead and invite you to spend the rest of the day with him? What else is there to say when he worries he might tell you how he feels? Newt wonders if that would have been better as your smile fades.

It’s clearly not the reaction you were hoping for.

Shoulders slumped and false smile forced to your face, you step away from him. “Of course.”

“Love.” He stops himself, letting a beat pass as the words hangs between you. He waits for you to make a joke, to laugh, to tease him for it, but you just stare at him with wide eyes, frozen.

He clears his throat. “Sorry.”

“No” You murmur, shaking yourself back into motion. “An honest mistake.”

He struggles to breathe. Where’s the sarcastic joke? Nevertheless, the sooner he says something, the sooner this moment disappears forever. “I have something for you, too.”

And he digs in his pocket, pulling out a tiny wood carving. It fits in the palm of his hand, and it’s rough, but it’s the best he can do.

He hands it to you. “It’s not very good but –“

“Newt, it’s beautiful.” You stare at the thing, turning it this way and that in your hand, thumb running over the small letters on the bottom. His initials. “I love it.”

“Honestly?”

You blink away what look like tears. “Honestly.” Newt opens his mouth to say more, but you run a hand through your hair, looking up at him. “I should go.”

You pause at the door. “Thank you, Newt. This is… this is amazing.” Then you leave, and Newt’s left to wonder about everything that just happened.

He returns to dicing the lacewings, face red, knowing that he must find a way to ask you on a date.

                                                      V. Falling

“I think he may need some more of that cream.”

“Green or violet?”

You scrunch up your face, examining the wound on the erumpent’s back.

“Green. Definitely green.”

“Here you are.”

Newt ignores the brush of your fingers when you grab the tube, or does his best, at least, as he bends down to record the use in his notebook. Anything could be useful information for his book, now, and he’s determined to fit in as much as possible to save creatures’ lives.

He doesn’t hear you climb down the ladder, or brush dirt from your pants, or mumble some question about what he’s writing; he’s too focused on the paper, labeling the items, recording the wound and its cause.

He doesn’t even know you’re next to him until you rest a hand on his shoulder. “What’re you writing?”

“Simply recording what we used.”

“Why?”

“It’s important to…” He trails off when he raises his head. You’re right there, inches away from him, nearly cross-eyed from the lack of space.

“To um…” he tries again, but it’s useless.

It’d be so easy to close the distance, and he finds himself thinking about how soft your lips must be, wondering if you’ve ever kissed anyone before, what you would do if he did right now, if he just leaned in the few inches. He thinks he may when his eyes drift to your lips.

His face burns as the two of you remain in this limbo. He can feel your breath against his face, and he’s fighting every urge now, trying not to lean in right now.

He hasn’t even asked you out, for Merlin’s sake. He has no right.

Still, your fingers are on his shoulder, and your eyes – Merlin, what a brilliant color – are focused on his lips.

Newt can’t help the smile growing on them. He’s going to do it.

His eyes begin to flutter shut, but before he can move more than a centimeter, a loud, booming groan erupts through the air.

The erumpent shuffles its feet, waiting for more help with the wound.

Newt freezes, and you look at the creature.

“I guess it was the violet.” You try to say it lightheartedly, jokingly, as you lean away, but Newt can hear the stiffness in it, see the slow way you move around, as though you’re regretting having to move, as though you just want to be near him again. “So why were you writing that down? You never answered.” Despite your smile, your voice comes out squeaky, nervous.

Newt laughs once to himself.

So, you wanted to kiss him. Interesting.

                                                         VI. In

Newt knows it’s inevitable when you slip your hand into his. He’s going to fall in love with you. He’s already confronted his emotion, accepted his feelings for you. And he’s fairly certain you feel something similar for him. All that’s left is an opportunity to let himself fall.

Which may very well be tonight. You’re standing in front of him, arms around his neck, head pressed against his chest, eyes closed, as the two of you sway in slow circles to the quiet song the bar’s band is playing. Drunks at the edges of the dance floor stagger, do-si-do-ing with one another, shouting, and occasionally belching, but Newt’s lost in his own world, one with only you and him.

“A lovely song.” You murmur, raising your head to meet his eyes.

“For a lovely dance partner.” He retorts.

You raise an eyebrow. “You think I’m lovely?”

He cocks his head. “Is there anyone that doesn’t?”

“I think Jacob has higher priorities.” He is, after all, the reason you and Newt are even dancing, begging you to ask Newt to a dance so Queenie would give up finding him a dance partner.

Newt glances at the swaying couple across the room. “Yes, well, they belong together.”

“And what’s that say about us?” You say it simply as a way to flirt, but when Newt offers no quick rebuttal, no joke, a flurry of butterflies storms into your stomach. “Newt? What’s that say about us?”

He steadies himself by reaching up to cup your cheek with one hand. “It means that I should –“

His hand is ripped away, torn to the side by an obviously drunk Queenie. “Come here, Newt. You must dance with Teeny. She’s lonely.”

Newt pulls his arm away gently. “I was actually in the middle –“

Queenie giggles, grabbing him again. “You talk too much, honey. Let’s go.”

You wave him away, lips turned down in a small frown, arms wrapping around your waist.

Newt sighs, allowing Queenie to pull him away to another woman to dance what turns out to be the final slow song of the night.

When Newt searches the crowd for you after it, you’re gone.

                                                    VII. Love

Newt lands in the Goldstein’s apartment moments after he realizes you’re gone.

He’d searched the building for a full half hour, checking and rechecking every room, even asking the bartender if you’d ordered something, before accepting that you’d left.

His fingers reach up to undo his bowtie, a nervous habit, as he stalks down the hallway, headed straight for the bedroom you’re sharing with the other two girls. He’s not sure what he’ll say, if he’ll even be able to be coherent. He just knows that you don’t know how he feels and he intends on fixing that immediately.

He stops in front of the closed door, nerves slamming into him. Rolling up his sleeves, he waits, thinking, hoping this doesn’t ruin everything, that he didn’t misread the signs, that you truly care for him as much as he cares for you.

Newt rolls up the sleeves of his white button up and chews on his bottom lip. It’s now or never. He raises a hand to knock.

“You’re not supposed to bother a sleeping lady, you know.” You say from behind him.

Newt spins, breath catching in his throat at the sight. You’ve begun to change out of the fancier outfit you’d put on for the dance hall. Your hair’s half down, a wavy mess from the pressure being up, and all of your makeup’s been washed away.

Warmth spreads through Newt’s chest again, and he smiles at you. “Beautiful.” He murmurs under his breath. “Absolutely beautiful.”

You stroll forward, smiling, something about the shots of giggle water giving you a burst of confidence. “So, do you need something, Newt, or did you just stop by to talk?”

“I um,” he clears his throat, smiling like a fool as you take another step toward him, “wanted to finish our conversation at the dance hall.”

You check your watch. “It’s past midnight. Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Not really, no.”

“Well, I am.”

Newt notices the challenge in your voice, the slight smirk on your lips. “Perhaps we could talk tomorrow at nine? A picnic?”

His heart stops beating for a moment as you consider the question, nose in the air, eyes squinted in thought. All Newt wants is an answer, a positive one, one that means he wasn’t imagining all this, that all of this, your apparent crush on him, is real.

You meet his gaze. “A picnic sounds lovely. Nine tomorrow.”

Newt grins. “It’s a date.”

You pass him, pulling open your door, but pausing to look at him. “I can’t wait.”

It’s all he can do to stay where he is and not kiss you.

                                                     VIII. With

“The sky’s on fire for you.” He says it offhandedly, though every particle of his being believes it. He’s on fire for you, the sky is, the whole damn world should burn itself up if a girl like you asked it to.

Your voice is glass, a soft sound that he fears may break if you raise it too high. “For me or for us?”

He’s stunned into silence as you turns to face him, a galaxy of colors on your face from the sunset, eyes a warm shade that matches the gifts his mother would bring home from trips to the grocery store every few months, hair shimmering under the boiling red sky.

He smiles lightly. “For us.”

“As it should be.” You face the horizon. “Watch out world, we’re coming for you!” You shout it, arms spread wide, smile wide on your face. Roars and clucks and chirps return the call, but the only sound you wait for is Newt’s small chuckle.

“You’re a miracle, love.” He says with a smile and a shake of his head, but the smile quickly fades into an odd expression as Newt searches your face.

“What?”

Newt’s heart thumps against his chest, feeling like it’s twisting and turning with every pump of blood, but he takes a breath to calm it all before answering. “Would it be all right if I kissed you?”

Your face lights up in a blaze of heat. “That’s what you want?”

He nods, eyes lingering on your lips. “More than anything. If you’re all right with it, of course. If not -”

“Newt,” you say, interrupting what is sure to be a lengthy, repetitive ramble, “I’d like that.”

He can hardly believe it, can hardly believe he heard you correctly, but you’re smiling that beautiful smile and scooting closer, and Newt’s going to kiss you. He’s finally going to kiss you.

His eyes shut and he thinks he’ll kill anyone that interrupts this time.

No one does.

The kiss is soft, faint, a mere brush of butterfly wings that starts a frenzy of fireworks in Newt’s guts. He’s kissing you, his best friend, his favorite person. He’s spent the past six months wondering what it would be like and now he is and it’s so much more than he could have imagined.

He reaches up and cradles your cheek when you deepen the kiss, heart slamming so hard he worries it’ll break out of his chest. But it doesn’t, and he spends the rest of that blood red sunset with you at his side, kissing your forehead, cheeks, lips, hair. Whatever he can.

And Newt knows as he holds your hand in his and kisses you yet again that he has fallen completely, that the inevitable has occurred and he’s dug himself into a hole he’ll never escape.

He finds as you ramble on about the colors of sunsets and rainbows and autumn leaves that he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

                                                     IX. You

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“Quite honestly, I’d consider myself the lucky one.”

The salesman bursts into a great laugh that’s far too enthusiastic for the joke Newt made. “Ah, don’t we all think that, though? Our women are too good to be true sometimes.”

Newt nods distractedly, peering down at the various racks.

“So how long have you and the lady been together?”

“We’ve been on two dates.”

“Now that can’t be all.”

“It is.”

“Wow.” The salesman raises his eyebrows. “I guess you know when you know, huh?”

Newt pictures you, your smile, the way you look at four in the morning, how you’d held the carving and the plate of cookies and his hand so carefully, like you were careful of breaking each one.

“Anyone would with her. How much is this one?”

                                                       X.   .

Newt takes a deep breath, wiping his hands on the front of his slacks as he stands, pushing his chair away from the supper table.

You cock your head. “Feeling all right?”

“A bit nervous, is all.”

“Why?”

Newt jerks his head in a shrug. “I suppose most people feel nervous proposing.” “Propose…” You trail off, eyes wide as Newt kneels in front of you. “What in Merlin’s name are you doing?”

“Proposing. Is that all right?” His eyes shine with mild amusement.

You nod, blinking rapidly.

“Love, I’ve known you for years upon years. I mean, Hogwarts was a long time away for the both of us. Not that you’re old, of course, dear.” He adds with a quick grin before growing serious again. “Falling in love with you was inevitable, and it’s been nothing but a pleasure to be with you these past five months. You are a light I cannot shake, and I hope I never do.” He pulls the box from his pocket, swallowing his nerves as you wipe at a tear on your cheek.

“Love, I know you’ve plans for yourself in the future, and I was wondering if you would give me the honor of accompanying you on them.” He pops open the box, revealing an intricate ring that twists around itself, a line of small diamonds across the top.

“Newt, how much did that cost?” You choke out.

“Would you still say yes if I told you it cost everything I had?”

“Everything?” You murmur, dizzy.

“Even the shirt I’m wearing. I’ll have to return it after you give me an answer.” He laughs at your expression, the small scowl gracing your face. Merlin’s beard, you’re all he needs in this life. “So? I don’t mean to rush you, but this floor isn’t exactly kind to knees.”

You swallow the knot in your throat, have to before you can say yes. “I’d love to have you along forever.”

Newt had planned for everything – the dinner, the food, the words, the ring, everything – except how it would feel if you said yes.

A rush of emotions surge through him: elation, excitement, relief, love, adoration. He can hardly separate it all, and it takes him a moment before he can move, takes you laughing at him and asking for the ring before he can push himself to his feet and slide the ring onto your left hand.

He pulls your forehead to his, eyes shut, breath washing over your face. “I love you.” The intensity of his words frightens him, worries him that he’ll scare you, but you lean up and kiss him lightly, so similar to when he first kissed you that he wonders if he went back in time somehow, but then you break away with a smile and mumble the four words that bring him to his knees.

“I love you, too.”

[swearronchanel]

6.03 aka I’m still crying 2 hrs later

I have no intro, I did this in one watch but had to obviously edit my typing but well yea this episode crushed me. I’m still shook tbh ahh. Read away if you wish

oh shit I’m not ready

SISTER MJ💔💔😭

FREE SISTER MC

ugh omg I can’t, my hearts about to explode about my chest

The Somali mum is so pretty, Nadifa right?

Oh shit she tryna hide the mail

she’s staying we know that

Ahh the cute turner scene ☺️

SHELAGH MY BBY 😭😍 she looks so good & her little behive omg

“Angela and I don’t have a tendency towards hoarding” SAS MASTER FLEX OVER HERE LOVE IT

“I’m no Marie Antoinette, I will not eat cake..” BRB ALREADY CRYING UGH 😰😰

Look at Valarie actually working & being a nurse

oh shit she’s 9months whoops, she ain’t going no where

JFK on the radio!!

Trixie’s tense, I feel

“If we’re all heading for oblivion, we need to be prepared” Fred lol he’s prepared for it all

No more shock treatment yes 😭💔

damn it my chest hurts and I’m emotional

Shelagh’s bump in her uniform 😭💕

PHYLLIS’s FACE WHEN SHE PICKS UP THE DOLL LMAO I LOVE HER

“Very useful fashion features” so precious, are magazines her maternity wardrobe inspo? 😭

LMAO PHYLLIS “I’ve never needed an editorial to instruct me on how to put myself together and I’ve never had any complaints” SHE’s A GEM

LOL @ SHELAGH’s REACTION

Valarie shook

the reality of fgm ..

Sister MC 😰

DOCKERILL AND SISTER MJ OMG I LOVE IT

“How can I be confident your purpose is sincere?” RIGHT SISTER

“I’m very glad to hear it ” PHYLLIS AH, she’s here for it!! I might be too, i have to wait for next week

omg sister MC, she loves her habit 😰💕 why tf did they take it though??!

FREE SISTER MC 😭 YOU DO NOT FALL SHORT LOVE

“How brave for her” and you!😭

PHYLLIS AND TRIXIE >>

“I’m not sure I have the gumption” BBY 💕 you deserve the world!!!

“Failure isn’t fatal, but hesitation can be” Phyllis is so wise & a gift we don’t deserve

Fuck im crying again

WHO STOLE HER BIBLE !!?

ugh fuck Mr Kenley, we don’t like his bedside manner

Patrick doing research so quickly, I’m proud & Phyllis is woke, enlighten us all

VISIT SISTER MC & free her !!!

lol this little girl, stop touching shit

She’s cute though I guess

Ok Val saying the right thing

MY BBY SHELAGH looking adorable💕

TIM HAS A FRIEND! Lmao it seems like he has none because he’s always with his family. Maybe he’ll get a girlfriend next series haha

“It is you, lost to us no longer but here before us perfect and complete ” MY HEART IS FUCKING BROKEN OMG I AM A MESS

PROTECT ALL THE SISTERS 😭💕💕

YES SECURE HER DISCHARGE, ASAP

I’m crying??!!

PHYLLIS RUNNING THE CUBS

LMAO PHYLLIS YELLING AT FRED LOVE IT, SHE IS SO BADASS, A GEM

“My way of making amends” poor sister J it’s not your fault 💔

LMAO SISTER WINNIE FAKE DRIVING ALL WRONG IM DEAD

HER SCREAM HAHA

ugh looking at kenley makes me sick, go away

Sister MJ & SISTER J MAKING HER BED💕 AND THE BIBLE AND CANDY ON THE PILLOW OMGGG

Oh shit where’d nadifa go

SISTER MC IS COMING HOME 😭😭

oh shit that lady had her bible, let her keep it

aw she did

Oh no nadifa’s going into labor??  ah omg

SISTER MC IS HOME😰💖

“Simply by being here” I’m crying again

LOOK AT HER PRECIOUS SELF WHY WOULD THEY HURT HER

Cuban Missile crisis on the tv

Trixie giving sister MC special soap💔

“I’d rather you give her my love” omg 😭😭

Fred painting the windows 😂

“President Kennedy.. he could charm the birds out of the trees” hell yea he was charming, rip. I wonder if next series they’ll mention his assassination? & side note Natalie Portman better win that Oscar for Jackie tonight

Nadifa’s sister is named Deka, got it. She reminds me of one of my cousins

Val and Babs new bffs?

Oh shit she’s in labor for real

“No knife” omg

I’d be freaking TF OUT

AH SHIT SHE’s GONNA DELIVER THIS BABY

AHHH OMG IM SCREAMING

THE BABY IS OKAY, SHE’S OKAY OMG MY HEAD, MY CHEST, EVERYTHING HURTS

damn that was intense

Gold fucking star for Valarie though

“I longed for this baby Patrick, longed for it, prayed for it and now I’m wondering why my prayers were answered because I don’t know what sort of a world we’re bringing it into ” SHELAGH DONT CRY, Ima cry 😰💕

“We just have to hope and we’re good at that” UGH MORE TEARS, YES YOU GUYS ARE 😭💕💔

Delia making another 2 second appearance

“If God loves me and wants me to do this, why is he making it so hard” omg I’ve been tearing this whole episode

DAMN YOU CTM for hurting my hEART and making it better at the same time!

Who are all these extra nuns

Aw Nadifa, but her baby is precious  

Sister MJ & MC killing me 💔

“It is no bad thing to be lost in a fog or at sea..” 😭😭😰😰

“Nurse bubsy” um bitch we don’t need that attitude right now

“We’re all going to hell in a handcart” indeed

lol Trixie wasn’t having it though she gave babs the only side eye 😂😭

Shit sister MC reading the paper no

I can’t imagine living through this crisis?! But like my grandparents did

The world was shook. But we’re shook now?? the world is constantly falling apart 

Wait I love THIS SONG

DON’T FORGET WHO’S TAKING YOU HOME….SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR MEEEEE💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

tom x babs, Delia with the photo of Pats!, fred x violet aw cute montage 💕 💔

Trixie looking spectacular ugh goals

“You’d think the world would’ve learned by now..” YEA TRIXIE WE’RE STILL SAYING THAT IN 2017

“London is your oyster” lol that phrase is funny af idk why 😂

Cute Trixie and Christopher moment though 😭

Patrick and Sister MC! “I was once as lonely..” I’m a w r e c k 😭💔

Trixie in those black pyjamas I still want

SISTER MC AND TRIXIE 😭💔💕

“I generally find that if you can summon the courage to sit through the bleakest day, then in the end the weather will change” 😭I needed that Trixie

“Nothing worse than being wrongly dressed for an occasion” omg she’s gonna ditch the habit

Val you said before there was no normal

THE FLAT IS EMPTY JUST LIKE MY FUckING HEART & SOUL THANKS TO THIS DAMN PROGRAM(ME)

ANGELA’S BABY STUFF

“Maybe I never gave up hope”

They actually fucking kissed again rip to me

“Lots of memories” yes “they don’t belong to the house, they’re ours. They come with us” YEA AND WITH ME TOO AH

IM AN EMOTIONAL PIECE OF GARBAGE, excuse me while jump out the window and throw myself away with the rest of the trash😭😭😭💕💕

BET THEY BORROWED PHYLLIS’S ROOF RACK AGAIN

“A lady never tells” ok Trixie 😉😏👀

CRISIS AVERTED !!!

“We live to see another day” mood every day in america tbh

Phyllis running to the radio😂

“I feel like an absolute fool” “then we’re a fine pair” Pair of fools ugh I’m cryin I love u fools

NORTHFIELD

oh shit, is Sister Mary Cynthia really going to leave the order or just start over? 😭

I know you didn’t get the memo yet son but no liquor for trix😲

My Trixie 😭 look how far she’s come 😭💕and she’s going to tell him soon and I’ll be crying and gushing with pride

Chin chin

THEYRE CAMPING OUT AH, THEN CAMPING TRIP REFERENCE 

“We’re very lucky though, aren’t we” ugh MY HEART

SISTER MJ AND MC OMG 💔😭

my heart hurts. That’s all. Fuck I’m crying like real tears

Noo  Deka is going to be cut😰😰

yo Val calm tf down, it’s fucked up but you can’t be yelling like that

Nadifa standing up for herself 😭

I can’t deal 💔

“What would you like to be called while your with us?” “If you don’t mind, and if I’m allowed to choose, I’d just like to be called by my name.. which is Cynthia” 😭give Bryony an award😭

“There are so many secret wounds, so many types of hidden scar.” VANESSA YOU CANT LEAVE ME CRYING ON THAT NOTE

Nadifa didn’t circumcise her daughter !!!

“The soul, being stronger than we think, can surges all mutilations and the marks upon it make it perfect and complete” VANESSA IM C R Y I N AND IM D E A D

I hope You all prepare for my funeral, pls arrive well dressed, dios te bendiga 

Rest In Peace Gabby Rachel Nuñez, 1998-2017. Cause of death: too many feelings from call the midwife 💔💔

BONUS NEXT WEEK’S PREVIEW:

Susan Mullucks !! She’s so big

Boutta get prosthetic legs, my abuelo has one

“This isn’t funny Valarie” WHAT DUMB SHIT DID VAL SAY TO MY BBY SO I CAN SMACK HER

Trixie slaying though

I thought Mr Mullocks came around last series wtf?!

“Nurse Crane should stand down from duties until the situation is resolved” OMGGG NO

OMG NO SHE HIT THE ANTOINE KID WITH HER CAR NOOO

“If you caused harm to someone else would it not mask you question everything you life has come to stand for?” FUCK NEXT WEEK WILL BE JUST AS BAD FOR ME

PHYLLIS IS SOBBING, I AM SOBBING OMG IM NOT READY

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Alex Laughlin: i always wondered why she played with my balls when she gave me a blow job! She hated -- hates doing it!! Id tell her "give me a blow job babe" and she would smile and say "okay" i must admit she did look real greedy saying it tho, like this Grinch gleam in her eye. In 2008 i complained she was messing with my balls too much and i wasn't Saint Luches. She stopped. Looked me dead in the eyes and said "i play with them or you dont get none" I been begging her for 3 days so i wasn't gonna complain. But i never knew all this time she hated it. Tree how many blow jobs she give me?

Great Tree of Knowledge: 348

Alex: and you don't even like it. You really must love me

Me: and I do

Mark: and me??

Great Tree of Knowledge: Jesse Tony James: 894. Saint Luches: 746 Matt Hagan: 4 Mark: 1472

Alex: man somebody owes me something.

Me: but you got other blow jobs and you liked them better

Alex: omg shut up.

Saint Luches: yeah from me

Me: and you're not even into oral that much. You like wrapping your arms around me and feeling and having that full experience. You like oral, yes. You like the attention that I give just to you to perform sexually on only you so you feel all the love and adoration that i can give only you. Not for had about me, too. Its me unselfishingly loving only you. But you like the whole thing. You don't like just watching me bob my head up and down. You said you can go to the lake and throw in a line off a fishing pole and jack off and watch the red and white bobber go up and down in the lake water and to you it's the thing as watching my head go up and down in your lap. Yu want the whole thing. Kit and caboodle. Ass grabbing. Hair pulling. Tit sucking.

Mark: okay alright

Alex: you really love me, you know so much about me.

Me: i love fucking you. The bruises make me wet the next day.. Like omg he bit my tit so hard im all bruised all the way across it and i look beat and i need 4 tons of concealer and I love it. It didn't even hurt. I didnt even feel it in a painful way that way. And you didn't even notice, you just kept fucking and loving me as violently as you could. But without violence. A great amount of passion and possession that you couldn't even control yourself. All yoh know you had to do was love me as best and as most as you could every second until our bodies were exhausted. And I love it more than anything. You ever fuck me differently, I'm gonna punch you in the face.

Saint Luches: I love her!

Alex: whips and chains excite her!!!

Saint Luches: so what you said is you don't care he bites the shit out of you as long as it doesn't hurt?

Me: see... It does... It feels the same as if he bit me to kill me. But the Thing is the brain releases so many endorphins and all the good feelings are so extreme that the pain is dulled. So when he bites it hurts but it feels so good because it's only for an instant. Its like eating chocolate candy and salty pop corn. Its so fucking good. Its just the orgasm. It changes the way the body feels and expresses itself. Procreation, survival of our humans is so important that say you get stung by a bee, the central nervous system says you need to pay attention you got a Problem. But while good sex is going on the body says oh I'll give you a bruise and remind you to check for other damage like may be you have a bee nest under the window you need to be aware of. And while shes not even ovulating you need to keep having sex for the day she does ovulate, she can get pregnant. Because sex is more important than anything else -! While you are having good sex -- because if you can have good sex then there's a compatibility between two people so good and amazing that they'll be able to raise kids together with attention and passion and goodness. So yeah my sex with Alex is that way.. It doesn't matter he's kinky and violent he is because hes a gentle person. It just possession and obsession that a soul mate has for another soulmate. Makes good parents says the body. So it's not like gonna be true -- its the body's way to keep producing children. It doesn't even care who you are one would expect -! But it does. Like my ex husband MT. he couldn't even get it up because he knew what a bastard he was. A lot of rapists can't get it up. So it really does care. Especially when someone is praying to God.

Alex: that's exciting. I got a new email about foreskin. He said he went to go pee. Hadnt read, was half asleep, just got outta bed. Didn't look or turn on the light. And the skin was pinched closed all ready to unwrap his present. And the force and pressure from the pee busted through but he was peeling all over himself, all down his hand and all over the toilet seat. So he Turned on the light to look and he screamed "oh my God!! What happened to me!! That bitch owes me a Dick and a Maid!!! I'm not joking wjat the Hell is this thing on my Dick?! What did she do to me?? Was it aliens?!?!" He said he was so scared!! So he pulled up your post with the images of the foreskin. So he took off his bottoms and sat on the toilet tried to read but he still had to pee so he didn't know what the Hell to do! So he began to cry. He got in the shower and began to masturbate and then he realized why he got foreskin and he's no longer angry at you.

Me: so why did he cry?

Alex: he realized some one you love had a problem and its the only way to fix it is replace the foreskin. And he hated you for it. Because he didn't have a problem. But some weird part of him, he says, began to grow 3x it's size. His penis, mind you. No but really he realized he never had a choice. Never as a man nor boy experienced foreskin. And he said it was a gift from Heaven. Once he was in the shower he for sure knew it wasn't aliens. Because it felt too dam good. So he wanted to thank thou and hopes his mom will mom will mop in the morning.

Me: he's welcome. I hope she does, too.

Alex: yeah she don't work, he pays for every thing. He said he wants his charity to be with underprivileged youth in poverty neighborhoods in California, his home state. He wants Snoop Dogg to give him advice as to where to put race tracks and how to transport because Snoop is the only one that he knows that does anything like that and he wants to take Snoops kids as a training for him.

Me: he's gonna make me cry. Snoop says he can't wait. I can hear him. He wants to open like a free gocart place...

Like 3 people: quit! You have like no money! Stop!

Me: im like one every 5 square miles with Abu on the corners so the kids could almost walk... Y'all know. Sometimes I probably should stop. Oh you know what's fun? Shopping carts. Ohhhhhh!!÷! You know schools here have no woodshop until high school. They could build box cars at the school!! Then race!!

Mark: well that's a great idea.

Me: i mean there's 365 days a year.

Alex: that's why I love you

How you love it now, Chandler?