#screaming into the void here. DO YOU SEE
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if jay joins ras and learns how to use shatterspin, it won’t be the same as someone like cinder using shatterspin. a person is the sum of their memory and their soul. amnesia steals the memory; shatterspin corrupts the soul. cinder has a past. jay doesn’t have much of himself left to lose. do you see. one fighting technique - that’s all it takes for jay to not be jay anymore.
#screaming into the void here. DO YOU SEE#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#jay walker#jay#agent walker#wolf jay#ninjago jay#jay ninjago#key’s conversations#keyalysis#text#lego ninjago#dragons rising
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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From now until march, along with KOSA and support for trans folks/tumblr's transphobia, I'm only going to be reblogging posts about Palestine, Congo, Sudan and the potential other countries that I'm unaware of subjected to atrocities and genocides all at the same time (because just when you thought you've seen the depths of human vileness you learn about something else happening that makes you realise no you didn't). My blog's pretty small so this probably doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but since I didn't completely go through with the strike this time around I feel like the least I can do is this. General reminder to not stop talking about the genocides, donate if you can, write/call up your MPs, show support for the trans community and spread as much awareness as possible about all these issues mentioned. Stay safe, everyone.
#momento rambles#normally i don't make posts like this because i can't ever feel like i should be the one to and let people better equipped than me do it#because i'm more confident in their commentary and advice than mine but this is more important than my discomfort so here goes#free palestine#free congo#free sudan#kosa bill#transgender#if you haven't please look into what's been happening#but make sure not to burn yourselves out doing so#and be aware of that god awful bill and how damaging it could be#and keep your blogs trans friendly and safe. i just scream into the void here but you're always welcome and safe to see me be cringe#the world is shit and it always has been but that's more reason for us to stand together#this stuff isn't my strong suit at all but i hope it helps even a little. take care
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If you see Reimari as Squidbob, im revoking your rights to Reimu and Marisa's characterization i think
#Ive said this on twt too but i feel like my void screaming will be heard more here#i really thought we were past seeing Reimu as squidward grouchy. we were doing so well#anyways if your reimari is squidbob i beg you to read at least a few of ZUNs printwork#ive said this in a previous post but i know it isnt bad to see characters the way you see fit#but saying it as fact whe its not really gets to people who know that they Arent Like That yknow#corr.txt#reimu hakurei#marisa kirisame#delete later#...if im a coward
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This work week will suck so bad I'm dreading it so much
#and this is mainly because of the commuting#by train#and the giant fucking desktop screen i will have to transpost in addition to my 2 heavy ass bags#and that i will have to talk about my stupid job and what I do in front of a bunch of university students on Tuesday#i spend 4 hours a day commuting (it'd be 3 hours but let's be realistic with the train situation)#it makes me want to die#for 7 hours in the office I'll be out for 11 hours#or you know. 12 to 15 hours considering the endless possibilities of train fuck ups#in overcrowded disgusting trains with heavy bags and this stupid screen that's bigger than my torso#i refuse to drive though. driving is the only thing worse than taking the train.#also i guess work will be quite annoying too after my 2 days off#i can see myself working 10 hours of overtime again#and the week after will be even worse#but then there will be one chill week so yay for that#void screams#i need to stop talking so much on here
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#it’s 2023 are we still doing the queer people should listen to queer artists shit like#we’re really doing this still like#just blatant shameless homophobia truly#you got people out here using the separate but equal argument with their whole chest#you’re saying we should each have our own gay and straight water fountains?? god forbid yours gets contaminated by my gross gayness???#gay people are allowed to like something that isn’t gay and they’re allowed to make it gay as their own artistic interpretation like#if that idk threatens your heterosexuality or whatever??? that’s REALLY weird but also YOUR problem???#also the queer people advocating for this like truly out here saying: I’m a good little gay and I keep my ugly gayness out of sight so#straight people like me 😊😊😊#may I suggest that if you’re queer and straight people are comfortable around you and queer people are not……… perhaps! you’re a bigot!!!#yea even YOUUUUU#I’m screaming into the void at this point I know but I feel crazy that I’m seeing NEW POSTS like lmao
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I finally managed to finish The Silt Verses.
And I’m okay.
And it only took, what, seven years after that TBTP “Mid-Season” “Finale,” to do that?
Yeah.
#I mean as much as a silt verses listener can be#actually not the most fucked up podcast by that bunch I am In Eskew was great but so disturbing i DNF#tbtp#the black tapes podcast#tbtp fandom#not tagging the tsv fandom here#because the podcast is very good and I’m enjoying the fandom but I’m not active in it#and this isn’t really so much about the show as it is about my bitching#anyway go listen to The Silt Verses if you like horror podcasts it’s superb#just be warned that the ending while excellent is a gut punch though I mean that in a good way#oh and?#TERRY FUCKING MILES#see? that’s how you do a meta-arc in an audio drama#and call Paul Bae Terry thank him for making your show good#so anyway I’m gonna go scream into a void some more if anyone needs me
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ugh i kinda wanna get back on tumblr and rot my brain out some more
#i’d probably mostly just still bitch about my family tho#and then dish n overthink on the polycule expansion pack that just dropped#kink club tales abound#didn’t see that one coming#still unemployed#broker than ever#paranoia is consistently present but manageable#social anxiety is getting lesser every day tho!! making friends is awesome and cool and epic#okay time to bitch about the fam#the level of misogyny/transmisogyny is ASTRONOMICAL since my moms bf moved in#like he’ll deadname/mispronoun ems and he didn’t even meet her until#until recently and she’s been transitioned for over two years like buddy you do not get the benefit of the doubt with a little ‘slip up’#here. you are being a malicious piece of shit on purpose!!!!! at least don’t be a pussy about it!!!!!!!#also big kudos to my mom on sharing ems dead name. really fucking classy.#my cats and my girls tie my sanity together with a spider’s spinner#thin and invisible they weave the net around me to keep me safe until i can pluck up the courage to get us the fuck out of here#should be able to pass a drug test soon so that opens up my application options a lot. i feel confident that i’d be able to hold myself#together long enough to get enough cash to put a security deposit down somewhere in the city#extra friends means the chance for roommates too!!!!!<333#only if i can be chillin in the nude in front of them tho. chances now are looking dece lol#ugh i’ve been manic dramatic for long enough tonight#hopefully it’s only the void i’m screaming at. i’m so damn lucky to have all that i have rn. especially the friends.#stick together with your local faggots and trannies always#ALWAYS<33#signed dogweed
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lightly bullying my 3 yr old goddaughter on the phone because she's apparently forgotten how to say hello to me if she can't see my face
#last time i was sent ''hello uncle joshy'' videos i got three in a row because she couldn't get enough of waving to me#this time i got ''can you say hi to uncle joshy?'' ''i can't see him?'' ''it's a video because he can't be here!'' ''.... no i can't do it''#but 🥰 i get to see her n give her a big cuddle on saturday 🥰 and i have lil spidey & bluey presents for her#i spoil this kid rotten it's embarrassing#jay screams into the void
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#argentina saw trump and went ''yeah we want one of those!''...#this absolutely insane man might become president and fully ruin the country (more than it already is)#which is never fun but even worse when you're queer...#today i'm glad i'm living with dysphoria every day but haven't started T#because as sad and absolutely awful as what i'm about to say is...#i can pretend to be a cis woman for safety...#which is a HORRIBLE thing to say or do#but i don't have to put myself out there trying to get hrt or anything like that#or legally change my name and gender mark while looking like i look... that might get me killed or something#bare in mind everything i'm saying A. hasn't happened yet#and B. is being said by someone with an anxiety disorder who can't see hope right now... so take it with a grain of salt#i'm just scared and i don't like the state of the world right now...#and we were somewhat safe in some aspects here and we're so close to losing them now#i'm scared and hate it here but i'm also broke and can't leave so...#we are where we are where we are i guess#angel talks#personal#sorry for the politics... i'm not going to start posting politics#the point of my blog is to escape the hell that is the real world... but i needed to vent and also you know me i love screaming at the void
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I just realized I'm gonna have to start posting art here again. Devastating.
#insta DOESNT allow you to opt out#neither does twitter and also i have always hated twitter#and noe tik tok is gonna be gone#tumblr doesnt even allow for the format i LIKE TO DRAW IN#LIKE IT DOES BUT EVERYONE HERE HATES THAT#my creative outlets are being shot in a back alley rn#was the ai frenzy mot enough#im abt to be so sad abt this man...#all my tt mutuals were so sweet and kind i love them im gonna MISS THEM#I wonder if ill never see Spud or Raine again 😭😭#like i was so comfy posting all my shitty lazy doodles and everyone was just happy to have that#and here i frel like i need to finish stuff and yeah yeah its all abt enjoying your work but also it feels Bad when soemthing gets 20 notes#versus the amount of shares/comments i get on tt#like ppl actually TALK to me there#this is just me screaming into the void abt it bc obviously the ban will be us losing SO much more privacy than that#I might not even have Here anymore and i just dunno what id do with that 😭
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i’ve been avoiding the bungo stray dogs fandom on here bc i really dont want spoilers (even though i’ve tragically already seen a HUGE spoiler rip) but i only have 10 episodes left and as soon as i’m caught up its OVER for you guys you’ll have to witness the full force of my obsession so i hope you mfs like soukoku bc you’ll be seeing a whole lot of those toxic twinks very soon
#i actually do hope at least a few of u are into bsd so at least i’m not screaming about it into the void lmao#and i have a couple half finished fics that’ll probably end up posting here too#so hopefully that’s something at least one of you would want to see lmao#(this entire obsession is hideya tawada’s fault btw)#shut up kat
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alright i need a break, see ya
#tumblr feels weird#it's like i'm invisible. i get three-four likes on vent posts while i am suffocating right there#it's like i'm screaming in the void for help and all i see are people awkwardly making thumb ups at me#and ultimately why would anyone care. i am a stranger. and it's not fun to read people going through strong emotions#yet it feels even worse bc i have made efforts not do be negative on here. and to always help people who needs it. and no one cares#except maybe two of you . which is worse bc i can't bother the same two people forever so...#i'm going to go lie down and cry a little. will feel better tomorrow i guess.#sibe vents
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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for some reason tumblr just showed me an old post i was tagged in with a bunch of niall blog recs and it's so sad to go through that list because so many of these niall blogs are inactive
#i was so confused and it took me a while to realize it's an old post lol#don't know why it showed up in my activity now#but my god so many of my old mutuals/friends are on the list#and most of them haven't been on here in like 3+ years#made me really sad ngl#like good for you but also i miss you all#it used to be so much fun to be on tumblr and talk to all these people#and now it's just me and my 5 mutuals screaming into the void#like don't get me wrong i still love being on here but it's not the same anymore#and also i don't understand how everyone just. moved on#like some of these people were the biggest niall stans back in the day and now they just disappeared? how do you all do this lmao#anyway don't mind me seeing this post just made me very emotional#and it sucks that i used to be really close friends with some of these people and i will probably never talk to them again
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Aquiring knowledge -> getting filled with frustration and anger and dread -> wanting to stay informed regardless -> aquiring knowledge -> getting filled with frustration etc etc
#i am fucking talking to the void and vallahi i WIIIIISSSHHHH i had a proper oulet to let out my frustration#but FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKK#nothing scarred me and showed me how fucking alone we were in our struggle and grief than the muslim world's reaction to rojava's invasion#in 2019. you know ok i know kurdistan gets little media coverage usually bc it's not relevant to american interest#but the invasion 2019 was HEAVILY covered by western media as it was the direct result of trump withdrawing the troops#and having a phone call with kerrrrrrrdogan saying hey you can invade now#so there was ZERO reason or possibility the muslim world wouldnt see what was happening#it was EVERYWHERE it got great western media coverage#but when i saw big muslim news accounts staying either silent OR siding with turkey i felt so fucking enraged and disturbed#and rejected. in turn there also werent individual muslims showing support as big crowds#like obv there were some here and there but not as a collective. they either sided with turkey or simply didnt care#you have to clock that. i cant say how many died but hundreds of thousands were displaced#turkey USED FUCKING WHITE PHOSPHORUS. WHICH IS A WAR CRIME. IT'S A CHEMICAL WEAPON#they literally said theyd create a strip of land to move syrian refugees there. arab refugees on kurdish land to change the demographic#and every fucking one went yeah that's fine nothing wrong with it. vallahi those people's plights are on you#and allah will ask. dont think he wont. while we were screaming for the muslim world to see us#they in turn pointed there fingers at us. said turkey was fighting terror. said they wouldnt hurt civilians#but what ever do you guys know what it's like to scream and scream but have no one bet an eye?#that's how i feel. that's how we kurds feel#man fuck off whatever i want to strangle someone#nesi rants
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