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iepurasdepraf · 6 months

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Hhhhhi~ Um... this was supposed to be short, but uh...it's not. Part 2 soon. I hope you like it! Feed back is appreciated. I will likely rewrite this before part 2 or before it goes up on a03. Anyway! Here you go.

Acrid smoke stung your eyes until the oscillating fan made another pass giving you respite until the cigarette between your teeth burned down a little more. You needed it. That hit of nicotine to keep your eyes open even if it made it hard to at the same time. You were at the tail end of an eight hour shift, tired. Bone tired. It was day four of five and you had to come back tomorrow at 7pm. It was 4:47am. You just wanted to go home.To sleep. Thirteen more minutes and you were free. Just thirteen more. Thinking about it made your arms feel heavier, even counting your tips felt like a chore at this point. “Hey! You got a guy!”

You were too tired to groan. You ripped the cigarette out of your mouth and asked as nicely as you could manage “Table or VIP?” “I dunno,” The other girl said, waddling past you with one of her heels off already. “Just asked for you on my way back and I said I’d get you for him.” You snuff your smoke out a little too aggressively, but she doesn’t notice. You weren’t mad at her and didn’t want her to think that so you take a deep breath and check yourself. Whatever this guy wanted would end with a big fat tip for your efforts. Not a bad way to end the night and so you pop a stick of peppermint gum in your mouth out of the tray on the table and put on your best smile while shuffling your money and zipping it up in your bag to take home.

“Wish me luck.” You say tossing your bag back in your locker and shrugging on your ripped up black tank top on over your bra. It was enough. You weren’t going to pull out all the stops this early in the morning and you were wearing most of your layers anyway. “Good luck!” She called after you. You nearly jump out of your skin when you straight up run into the guy making him take a few staggered steps back after opening the door. He’d been waiting so close to it you were shocked you didn’t hit him right in schnoz. At least you knew who’d asked for you right away.

“Well hey there, handsome!” He was, in fact, not handsome. He was- God, he was really sweaty. Why was he so sweaty? You’d barely touched him and you felt like someone hit you with a toad straight out of a parking lot puddle.

“Hh-ih-hhh-hi.” Oh no, he was a weird one. Like really weird. He stood there in all his buck toothed glory wringing his hands, out of his element entirely in a dorky little suit with a terrible comb over and glasses that magnified his eyes to the point of comedy. Shaking. Trembling. In absolute shambles and for no reason you could see. Existing was this creature’s enemy.

Those big brown eyes blinked up at you and he said…absolutely nothing. He only got out that squeaky hi. He’d been hard to hear over the music, but you weren’t worried about Mr. Mumbles. You’d be back in the VIP soon enough by your estimation and be able to hear him just fine. You put that winning smile back on and his shivering intensified. You didn’t think his eyes could get bigger, but he responded like you’d taken your top off in front of him for the second time tonight.

He was just your type. Those sweet old nerds that never peaked fell head over heels for you and the 80’s goth aesthetic you so carefully cultivated for work. You triggered that nostalgia for that youth they missed out on, the prime they could have had. The hot girl in their comp-sci class they could never work up the courage to even wave at in the hall and for a couple of thin easily earned, for them at least, measly dollars you could be theirs for just a few minutes. To look at and, for the right price, you’d touch them and they could pretend they hadn’t been such losers.

“What can the Banshee do for you?” “Mmm…” You glanced at the clock then back at him. There was no such thing as overtime here, little man. You couldn’t say that, but you certainly thought it at least twice before he said “I-I-I was hoping wh-” He had some kind of a tic. It looked like he flinched. Maybe he had. It made your shaved eyebrow arch.

4’10, mousey brown hair. Greasy. Eyes watery and dark. The job came with it’s hazards and it looked like this guy might be one of them. You memorized his features, there weren’t any identifying marks you could see, just in case. Just like your boss had taught you. “I was hoping for a private, uh, show?” Oh, he was English. Now that he was actually managing some words you could hear the accent. That was weird. This wasn’t exactly a tourist destination. He must work in the city? “Yeah?” You say sounding more interested in it than you actually were.

Your faux enthusiasm made him perk up. “I-I-I brought money! A lot of money!” He reached into his coat and pulled out the biggest wad of cash you’d ever seen with both hands, it had to be at least ten thousand dollars. You grabbed his hands and held them down between the two of you so no one else could see. “Woah! Easy there, killer!” Was he insane?! This was Oldtown Gotham! He’d have jumped for a couple of fives down here if they knew he had them.

All he did in response was gasp when you touched him then stare down at where your hands had met his sweaty actively vibrating ones. “Let’s take this to the back, alright? You gotta be more careful.” He didn’t move at all until you moved him. Taking that huge brick of cash in one hand and his wrist in the other, you marched him to the first empty VIP lounge like he was a downright naughty boy being taken to his room.

Once the door was locked you turned to him “You could have been killed for this if anyone saw you with it.” You chastised bringing his hand up to set the cash in it. He didn’t answer, still staring at your hand on his wrist so you let him go. To his credit, he seemed to function better in the back. Maybe it had been the lights and loud music that had put him over the edge on top of whatever else he was dealing with? You didn’t know, but after a long quiet reboot he looked a little more human and a lot less like a rat that had touched the third rail. At least he was speaking up now or in the quiet room you could at least hear him better. You couldn’t tell. “I didn’t…think about it, I apologize.” He said in an awfully shrill voice making you question why was he apologizing to you? “I, ah… Well,” He held the money up again “I didn’t know how much to bring, you see, so I…well, I brought what seemed reasonable?” He poised it as a question more than an answer. Like he was asking if it was reasonable rather than explaining that it was. You squinted at him. THAT was a reasonable amount of money to him? How disconnected from reality was he?

“VIP packages start at three fifty.” You informed with good humor after crossing your arms and he gasped like this was breaking news he couldn’t have googled before coming at all. “Well,” The man counted out a few of the hundreds then fidgeted “What’s the biggest package?” He was nearly cute. “Do you have friends waiting outside or something?” “No! Why no! No, mam, just me!” You felt your hand touch your cheek as you stared at the little weirdo in absolute awed confusion. What on earth?

“You don’t need the biggest package then, sweetheart.” You were too nice. You should have just taken the money. He wanted to spend it and here you were talking him down like an idiot. “But I want the most time!” He said a little too loudly. God, he was desperate. Your manicured finger tapped against your cheek “We can work that out, but…what do you want?” Please don’t say sex. You weren’t even sure if security was even still in the building. “I-I need to give a presentation.”

What?

The look you must have given him prompted him to explain “I need to give a presentation! At work! A w-work presentation and, well, I-” He melted into nervous giggles before he finished, but managed to suppress them enough to finish after a moment “I need to practice. An audience so to speak and-” Oh, he looked miserable suddenly. “I don’t…” His voice lowered to a whisper “have any friends.” Your heart felt a little pang for him. Same, man. Well, sort of. You had work friends, but it wasn’t hard to believe this guy had no one at all. “Truly, I do need this!” He added quickly “My research depends on this! I promise I don’t mean to insult you or waste your time! I could lose funding and and and-” “I’m happy to work something out with you, but let's get you a drink first, alright?” “Alright.” He parroted back while taking quick half breaths on the verge of hyperventilating.

With peace and love, he didn’t look like a man who could hold his liquor. Nor did he seem like the type that would handle it well if he managed to so. He needed to relax. You were the complete package, you knew how to make more than a quick few cocktails. It was a part of the image. Thumbing through the Rolodex of recipes in your head you stopped on the first one that wouldn’t kill him on impact. A Friar Tuck, of course. Chocolate milk for big boys. You glanced back at him on your way to the fully stocked minibar. Big enough boys. Hazelnut liqueur, dark crème de cacao, and frangelico with, in this case, some nice cold half n’ half shaken with ice then strained in a glass.

“Sip.” You say handing the glass to… hang on a second. “Now,” You sat him down in a chair with some gentle ushering “Let’s try this again. Hello, handsome.” He giggled nervously at you and smiled a sort of odd suppressed smile over being called handsome. You realized he was trying to hide his teeth now that he as thinking about it. There was no hiding those buck teeth. “What’s your name?”

“Jervis. Jervis Tetch.”

#jervis tetch x reader #//.mywriting.//#jervis tetch x you #jervis tetch fanfic

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masquayla-the-splendid · 11 months

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Can we normalize photoshopping characters in with pictures of you?? I made him the height I approximated in an earlier post. (6"7') It'd be easier if I crawl inside him than the other way around.

Anyway, this was for Halloween. I still got a couple years of trick or treat validity. Except I live in the North, so it turned into Christmas within half an hour, and had to cut it short.

That's my moded Goodstuff Ennard plush. Gave him his eyebrow, and a squeaker in his nose. I didn't want to cut a hole in his face for it to fit, so I just extended it. Actually, it's a little more accurate that way. He does have a bit of a schnoz before the clown part.

Debating whether or not I repaint his eye. It's a little scuffed, but I don't want to mess around too much.

These were the pics I took at The Movie. Unfortunately, that Minirena didn't last long. Next day I went to rotate her arm, and it snapped off. Why would an art doll be so inflexible?

I'll be posting spoilers with no warning by Saturday. I go by the "1 week after the last showing." Rule.

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's movie #fnaf cosplay #michael afton #ennard #fnaf sister location #sister location

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scoobit9 · 8 months

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hi dylan hope your day is awesome! thank you for your jeeves and wooster art!! your bertie is the silliest i love him very much and i love them

awaaaagh tysm!!! I'm so glad you enjoy my j&w scribbles :-]]] I loveeee drawing Bertie and his big ol schnoz. hope you have a lovely day as well, from the both of us ^_^

#asks #jeeves and wooster #art

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magadauthan · 5 months

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Ep 22: Alternative

Day 22 of @trigun98watchparty - wherein we begin the endgame of the series.

DISCLAIMER: I have done my best to keep these recaps somewhat free of Vash/Meryl squeaking, but um... it's going to get worse from here on out. I apologize in advance.

I just love them okay

--Vash wears his sunglasses at night...

--Jokes aside, he's feeling terrible enough to be drinking by himself. Vash drinks plenty throughout the series, but it's a social activity, not a coping mechanism. Vash is in full-on can't-see-his-eyes hiding-from-everything Stampede mode.

--Vash has certainly figured out by now that WW and Knives are connected. He's not bothering to dissemble to WW about knowing that he has to face down his brother to get the killing to stop. The game is: who is leading whom, at this point in the story? Vash is letting himself be led, but that does not mean he is following.

--Meryl is very, very worried. Look at her little face peeking out.

--Everyone looks relaxed in the car, despite all the horrific things that just happened. Maybe they had a beach day. < / shameless plug for fluffy nonsense >

--Is there anything cuter than WW and Milly happily flirting with one another? THERE IS NOT.

--In my head, WW made Vash sit in the back seat so he could 1. have a nice time with Milly and 2. harass both Vash and Meryl about their emotional constipation at the same time. So very third grade.

--Meryl smiles at WW and Milly bantering, and she'd like to do the same to cheer Vash up, but she can't admit she does and she knows how very upset Vash actually is. She lets it go.

--Milly knows how to handle kids. She's good.

--Meryl sees the facade start to crack and goofs with Vash to help it along. Get it, girl! (she grabs his hand here, d'awwwww.) She drops her inclination to fuss at WW after Vash starts smiling a real smile, even if it means they might go without later. His sunglasses are still on, though.

--I have never understood Meryl's recipe.

--Someone's smiling again, watching her. WW notices and twits Vash about it. Vash acknowledges... and takes his sunglasses off before going off to pester Meryl, because he wants attention. And she sasses right back at him. I know flirts when I see 'em and that was a flirt.

--It looks like Vash might be getting the smallest of breaks. The kids are peaceful and fed. He takes joy from watching the girls tuck everyone in. It's a tiny moment he can take comfort from, at a time where the walls are closing in.

--Good grief, Midvalley's schnoz would make Alain Prost jealous.

--Walk without rhythm, and you won't attract the worm. Who brought the thumper?

--WW's face when Vash won't let him kill the sandworms either is fantastic.

--nice running in slo-mo. that boy is all leg.

--Zazie's re-imagining is one of the best developments in Tristamp. They are so much better a character. Granted, the anime didn't have a lot to go by. (the brushing teeth line is funny, but srsly, is now a good time for funny? I don't think so)

--It's unclear whether Vash knows that WW knows who / what Zazie is. From WW's perspective, he's offed a GHG, who are (in his eyes) not redeemable, because all of them are working for the same cause. Zazie isn't human. They had Vash cornered. Had a gun to Meryl's head. Were threatening Milly with the sandworms. WW was going to shoot. He shot and killed a GHG. Knives' henchman. Legato's pawn.

...But everyone else's eyes, he's killed a child. In Milly's eyes. WW, who protects children, always. Was Vash getting through to Zazie? Was it even possible?

He'll never know. He didn't think there was an alternative.

--WW has had Vash upset with him before, but this time he deliberately went against Vash's creed. And, he's not entirely wrong. With his superhuman abilities, Vash might have been able to wiggle his way out of yet another life-and-death situation. Ordinary people might not have the luxury of choice.

#trigun #trigun 98 #trigun 98 watch party #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #zazie the beast #vashmeryl #vash x meryl

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marxonculture · 1 year

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A Quick Note on 'Jewface', Maestro and Oppenheimer

Given that my presence on this platform is filtered specifically through the lens of Jewishness in film, and that I wrote my undergraduate dissertation on the Jewish identity of Leonard Bernstein – the subject of Bradley Cooper’s controversial upcoming film, Maestro – I thought I’d weigh in on the current discourse.

For those who are unaware, one of the biggest films due to premier as part of this year’s autumn film festival season is Bradley Cooper’s Maestro. The film is said to be a non-traditional biopic of 20th century American composer Leonard Bernstein, focusing largely on his complex relationship with his wife, Felicia Montealegre. Controversy has arisen around the Netflix production due to images from the trailer featuring Bradley Cooper as Bernstein wearing an enlarged prosthetic nose. Voices within and outside Jewish communities have loudly criticised Cooper for caricaturing Jewishness, using the term ‘Jewface’ which describes the act of a goyische (non-Jewish) actor using prosthetics to make themselves look more like a cartoonish, imagined Jew.

While it is true that Bernstein did own a decent sized schnoz, the prosthetic utilised by Cooper is significantly bigger, and more defined than the nose was in reality. From a personal standpoint, I do find the use of this prosthetic to be pretty discomforting, but I think it speaks more to Cooper’s insecurity about the size of his own nose, which is a lot bigger than perhaps he would like to admit (and not too dissimilar to Bernstein’s actual nose!), than it does about his perception of Jews. That being said whether it was his intention to cartoonify Jewishness or not, Cooper has ruffled feathers in a way that is crass rather than substantive. Bernstein’s living relatives have come out in support of Cooper and his decision to use the prosthetic, saying that Bernstein would not have minded, but I think their statement rather misses the point. The nose is not about Bernstein himself, but about highly visible representations of a tiny minority that are stereotypical and incredibly reductive.

Funnily enough, however, Cooper’s use of ‘Jewface’ is the element of Maestro that bothers me the least. I have been fairly vocal since the film’s announcement about how I believe the production as a whole to be a pretty catastrophically bad idea. Leonard Bernstein is my number one creative hero – as a composer, public intellectual and educator, I don’t think there has been a single Jewish figure in American history who has had more of a positive impact on culture.

As I mentioned, I have written extensively about Bernstein in an academic context, and in researching him, it became clear to me just how vitally important his Jewish identity was to him throughout his life. It informed his music (even West Side Story, which was initially conceived as a story about Jews and Catholics on the Lower East Side of Manhattan), and his role as an educator (he often described his pedagogy as rabbinic in nature), and he was deeply, foundationally affected upon learning about the realities of the Holocaust which caused what he described as ‘aporia’, a state of being where he was too overwhelmed to write a single word for years. Bernstein’s complicated relationship to sexuality was also hugely significant in his life. There is still debate to this day about whether, given an open, accepting environment, he would have identified as a gay man or as bisexual. He had significant, passionate relationships with both men and women, and was an early major advocate for HIV/AIDS research.

My problem with Maestro is that I don’t have faith in Bradley Cooper as a writer/director, to sensitively depict these two massive aspects of Bernstein’s identity. Focusing on his most significant straight-passing relationship as the centre of a film called Maestro does not inspire confidence that the film won’t totally whitewash Bernstein’s Jewishness, or reduce his sexuality to the pain it caused his wife (in a similar way to other reductive music biopics like Bohemian Rhapsody or Rocketman). Cooper’s own identity is significant in that he is starting from a place of remove from the identity of his subject, which isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker, but when there are other filmmakers out there who are far better suited to a project like this, both from an identity perspective and a thematic one, it’s hard to justify why this project exists at all in its current form.

Some have pointed to the involvement of Steven Spielberg as a producer on the project as hope for better representation, but given that Cooper and Martin Scorsese – a filmmaker who I have criticised in the past for the didactic, Christian morality of his movies – are also credited producers, I don’t think it’ll make much difference. I’m more comforted by the involvement of Josh Singer (Spotlight, The Post) and his contribution to the screenplay, given his Jewishness and his work on thematically sensitive historical films.

I’m not writing off the film entirely just yet. I had similar worries about Oppenheimer, given the significance of the scientist’s Jewishness in his decision to start work on the bomb in the first place. Nolan and Cillian Murphy, thankfully, proved me wrong in the director’s decision to focus on the differing Jewish identities of Oppenheimer, Lewis Strauss, and I.I. Rabi, and the nuanced ways in which their characters were informed by Jewishness, as well as Murphy’s attention to detail in his performance. It’s certainly possible for non-Jewish filmmakers to consider Jewishness in a valuable way (see Todd Field’s Tar or Paul Thomas Anderson’s Licorice Pizza for a couple of recent examples), but the set-up of this project makes it hard for me to believe that Cooper is one such filmmaker.

To end with a little self-gratifying what-if, I thought I’d lay out what would be my ideal Bernstein biopic: a film centred around the relationship between Bernstein and his fellow queer, Jewish composer and mentor, Aaron Copland, the letters they wrote to one another, and the fallout of their brushes with McCarthyism which had vastly different outcomes. I would keep Cooper as Bernstein (without the prosthetics!) because he can convincingly play the man’s charm, I’d cast Michael Stuhlbarg as Copland, and get Todd Haynes to write and direct. Haynes is Jewish, gay, and has a great deal of experience directing sweeping, romantic, dark, and political films. He knows how to portray music on screen and has several masterful period-pieces under his belt, with Carol in particular as a shining example of complex, historical queer romance in America. Honestly, this would be my dream film project.

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thebibutterflyao3 · 5 months

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Day Sixteen - Taken @sapphicmicrofics

April Daily Series - 543 words

<<<Previous Part OR Start Here

Dorcas sipped her scotch in an effort to ease the tension that plagued her all morning. Between the harried client that interrupted the firm’s morning meeting, who became her first client shortly after, and the dogged worries about Marlene, she was drained. Pandora’s updates throughout the day helped, until she sent a photo she’d taken of the massive purple bruise that dwarfed Marlene’s face.

Not that it seems to slow her down.

Marlene was her usual outspoken self all through lunch. She bantered with James and Regulus, teasing them mercilessly for their infatuation with each other, as if she wasn’t every bit as obsessive in a relationship. Her discourse with Lily and Pandora leaned toward exasperation as they extolled the virtues of “encouraging movement of light and energy” in a sitting room. Nothing new.

Yet, here I am anyway.

When Pandora mentioned their lunch plans, Dorcas invited herself along. She intended to verify Marlene’s purported well-being with her own eyes, then return to work satisfied. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to focus any better than she had all morning. Except, now that she was here, Dorcas didn’t particularly want to leave.

“I thought you were a mad scientist,” Marlene said, squinting as she pointed a piece of flatbread at Pandora. “Isn’t science against all of this hippy energy shite?”

“Not at all! It was through my work that I learned about the energy that exists in all organisms. The natural world is all connected, after all,” Pandora insisted. She picked up a bowl of curry and held it out to Marlene. “The plants in our food are filled with energy and we absorb and use that energy when we eat them.”

Marlene dipped her flatbread in the curry and chewed it thoughtfully. “I suppose I see that, but what about the vibrational energy that you’ve been talking about all day?”

“Cells, it’s about cells!” Pandora enthused. To induce positive moods, you encourage high frequency vibrations.”

James grinned and pointed at her. “You must have brilliant moods, you’re very bouncy.”

“That’s not—”

Regulus waved him away. “Ignore him, Panda. He’s teasing you.”

Dorcas tuned out the rest of the conversation as it spiralled into thinly veiled metaphors for vibrators. She wasn’t interested in the others’ sex lives, but found herself studying Marlene as she tossed out clever quips and salacious grins that made Regulus flush. Marlene’s freckled cheeks blended the harsh bruising around her nose into a soft pink glow of excitement that was absurdly pretty.

Internal scars never heal.

That was her experience anyway. It was one of the few ways that she and Marlene were alike. Marlene was plagued by ghosts, her own and those of people that she loved dearly, while Dorcas fought back demons. The scars left behind were brutal.

Perhaps Marlene’s had healed. She looked happy and healthy, aside from the blow to her schnoz. Never better, actually.

Then again, she’d purposely stuck her foot into a viper’s nest last night. Healthy, happy women didn’t allow Narcissa Malfoy to snare them. She was pure poison in a pretty bottle.

Self-destructive? Or attention seeking?

It was hard to be sure with Marlene. Often it was both. Either or both, it was rather effective. Dorcas couldn’t look away from her favourite trainwreck.

Next Part>>>

#marlene x dorcas #dorlene #dorlene microfics #marlene mckinnon x dorcas meadows #dorcas x marlene #dorcas meadowes #marlene mckinnon #marauders era #james potter #regulus black #lily evans #pandora lovegood #slytherin skittles #marauders women

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wariodemambo · 1 year

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HEY — LOSER HUNCHED OVER THEIR COMPUTER SCREEN LIKE A ZOMBIE! YEAH!!! I'M TALKING TO YOU!

ITS-A WAAAARIO — NINTENDO'S BIGGEST STAR!! Taking time out of my SUPER BUSY life of being handsome, rich and beloved by all just to interact with lucky YOU!! Don't you feel special???

For fifty gold coins a pop, here's a list of what to (probably) expect from this blog...

Getting to look at ME, Wario.

Being able to give me even MORE gold!

Hearing ALLLLL about my INCREDIBLE adventures!!

Mario getting punched in the schnoz!!! (REAL) (NOT CLICKBAIT)

And, of course, the right to brag about following the most SUCCESSFUL GAME DEVELOPER OF ALL TIME!!

WHAT'RE YA WAITING FOR!? Hurry up and like or reblog this post if you wanna interact! I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY!

ㅤㅤㅤ 【 Inbox | Rules | About | Wario De Mambo 】

#nintendo rp #super mario rp #video game rp #rp promo #this here is mona pizzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. makers of the worlds best pizzAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #featuring very real interaction quotes via kirm (translated); reina; wyrm; and brawl. i think its great all he does is start trouble #reblog my posts boy

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thehyperrequiem · 3 months

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Get in the Boat guys, we’re going to a festival!

This shall be my first Super Epic Cookie OC, and this Cookie Idea is suggested by @sam-rexian, enjoy!

Name: Gummy Jewel Cookie

Gender: Male

Rank: Epic (Ovenbreak)/Super Epic (Kingdom)

Cookie Title: Viking of The Gummy Odyssey Mix

Cookie Tags: SpecialControl, Jellies, Destruction, Potions

Pet: Humpback Submarine

Basic Jelly: “Let out your voice and it would bring out the beautiful colors of wonder.”

Skill: Gummy Jewel Cookie’s Magical Boat of Wonders will appear and he gets on it. The jump and slide buttons would control Gummy Jewel’s Vocal Range and when the music note hits the range, you gain points. If you miss the points, then you gain less points, after getting music notes, The Gummy Five would show up and that is where you rapidly tap the buttons to make one heck of a music show! Level up for more points and Magical Musical Mystery Sail points, and more starting energy.

Magic Candy: A Blue bar with a small icon of each sense will pop up, and it fills up faster than the green bar, once it is filled, Gummy Jewel Cookie will slam his mic like staff to the ground to activate powers that foreshadows The Gummy Five’s Skills; Green sends out a magical eye that shoots lasers of it, foreshadowing Apple Eye Cookie’s Skill. Pink sends out a magical hand that punches away the obstacles, foreshadowing one of Handy Cookie’s skills. Yellow sends out a magical lip that eats the obstacles and turns them into jellies, foreshadowing Zesty Taste Cookie’s Skill. Purple sends out a magical nose that sniffs out Purple Sense Jellies and sneezes out an energy bottle, foreshadowing Schnoz-berry Cookie’s Skills. And Blue sends out a Magical Ear that sends out sound waves and turns them into Energy Bottles in form of Music Note Jellies, foreshadowing Sarge Ear Cookie’s Skills. The stronger the enchanted power gets, the more points for the Five Senses of Power points gets!

Pet Skill: The Humpback Submarine will use echolocation to call some gummy fishes, making them jump from the ground and destroying some of the obstacles. Level up for more points and gummy fish jelly points.

Story: “Gummy Jewel Cookie awakens the power of his gummy gemstones filled with sour juicy gels in the gemstones of his. His origin was unknown on how he got froze in the lake yet it was caused by a terrible snowstorm, but it was told that he was found by five cookies of the 5 senses and they unfreeze him to wake him up from his Cryo nap. After being introduced to the five cookies, the big cookie shares his story through his singing and his magic fire show from his gummy jewel’s last remaining magic, they were impressed with his skills and thought of making a team together, or better yet in Gummy Jewel’s Perspective; a Band! So with their help of recharging the jewel by their magic as well as giving him five more gummy gemstones and playing notes, Gummy Jewel and the Gummy Five sets off on their magical boat of wonders and travel around Earthbread, sharing their songs and helping out cookies with festivities, as well as drinking juice and having fun, for they are The Gummy Odyssey Mix!”

Pet Story: “Humpback Submarine was made from one of Gummy Jewel’s Serenades for entertaining the cookies and it didn’t disappear like any magic made animal projections. After a little bit of time, Gummy Jewel decides to keep it as a pet and they did a whole lot of fun together. Until one day during a voyage, a terrible snowstorm swept everything away into a snowy wasteland with a giant frozen lake. There was nothing but remains of the boat Gummy Jewel was in, a surviving Humpback Submarine, and Gummy Jewel Cookie who is trapped in a ice cube. Distraught that it’s owner is frozen, it send out a SOS Echolocation Call to see if anyone is around to help unfreeze its owner while searching around for any cookie to help him out, and that’s where not only it meets 5 unlikely cookies with 5 powers of senses of their own…And they help free it’s owner, but that’s where the gummy odyssey started.”

Quotes:

New - “I sure love making entrances when it comes to festivals!”

General:

“All Aboard to the Magical Boat of Wonders!”

“I sure do love Berry Juice, goes well with parties!”

“Bring on the Foods and Drinks!”

“Anything’s better with the power of five senses.”

“🎵 Hop onto the Rainbow Sea! 🎵 ”

“Did anything happened while I was frozen?”

“The HollyBerry Essences runs within me!”

“I was once trapped in a cage of ice, but now..I am freeeeee~🎵”

“Welcome to the Gummy Odyssey!”

Tired: “Hold on…Let me finish up here…”

Lobby:

Daily Gift: “Here! A gift from me to you!”

Tap:

“I am big, and there’s enough of me to go around!”

“Me and my Friends will help you out with the festival!”

“🎵 We travel the sea and air, brining cookies joy when they hear our fanfare! 🎵”

“Me and Sarge Ear? We sure have a thing going on between us!”

“You mind hearing our upcoming song? It’s a work in progress.”

Gifts:

“Wonderful! Let’s have a Toast to this bountiful time we are having!” (Given The Gummy Odyssey Special Brew)

“Wooooow! The majestic aura I am feeling from it, it’s…it’s so legendary, like a music instrument of destiny!” (Given Royal Golden Dough)

“Thanks for the festival trinket, my friend, I shall keep it!” (Neutral)

Relationship Chart:

Gummy Jewel Cookie 💛 The Gummy Five: “If it weren’t for them, I would be stuck in that ice cube for eternity.” (Admiration)

Gummy Jewel Cookie 💚 Princess Cookie: “I like her bold bravery and determination, She has the sparkling energy of HollyBerry!” (Friendly)

Gummy Jewel Cookie 💙 Knight Cookie: “You go on keeping her safe, Little Knight.” (Trust)

Gummy Jewel Cookie 💚 Rockstar Cookie: “His music is the bomb!” (Friendly)

Gummy Jewel Cookie 💚 Popping Candy Cookie: “These five remind me of my friends!” (Friendly)

Gummy Jewel Cookie 💙 Vampire Cookie: “Hahah! I like this guy! This guy has the right idea of partying; Drinking!” (Trust)

Gummy Jewel Cookie 💚 Sparkling Cookie: “This guy serves the best drinks in town!” (Friendly)

Gummy Jewel Cookie ❤️ Licorice Cookie: “That guy and his friends almost took over Hollyberry’s homeland while I was frozen! Nobody tries to take over HollyBerry Kingdom on my watch!” (Rival)

Gummy Jewel Cookie 🩶 Poison Mushroom Cookie: “I am keeping my drink away from that creep, I don’t want any mushrooms in my drink from what I heard of what they did to the drink.” (Tension)

And now, his crew of bandmates!

Group Name: The Gummy Five

Name of Cookies: Apple Eye Cookie, Handy Cookie, Zesty Taste Cookie, Schnoz-Berry Cookie, and Sarge Ear Cookie

Gender: Male

Rank: Epic

Cookie Title: The Gummy Senses

Cookie Tags: Speed, Jellies, Destruction, Revival, Potions

Pet: Prisma Speaker

Basic Jelly: “Get to know your senses, because without them, you’re nothing.”

Skill: Like the Cookimals, The Gummy Five takes turns on each run. At Apple Eye Cookie’s turn when activating his skill, he shoots out a green beam of green jelly to destroy obstacles and turn them into green teardrop jellies. At Handy Cookie’s turn when activating his skill, his hair forms to a hand by his dreadlocks to perform Rock Paper and Scissors while levitating to destroy obstacles and turn them into pink fingerprint jellies. At Zesty Taste Cookie’s turn when activating his skill, he uses his stretchy tongue to not only collect jellies, but he can destroy obstacles and collects the yellow tongue jellies. At Schnoz-Berry Cookie when activating his skill, he starts sniffing for Purple Pollen Jellies and then sneezes out an energy potion. And at Sarge Ear Cookie’s turn when activating his skill, he hears for blue sound jellies and they lead him to any hidden energy potions. Level up for more points and Power of Five points, and more starting energy.

Magic Candy: Their skills gets more advanced for each member they got. For Apple Eye Cookie, the green jelly beam would make a Green Eye Jelly that has a big amount of points. For Handy Cookie, each destruction would make a Pink Hand Jelly that has a big amount of points. For Zesty Taste Cookie, after he eats some jellies, he spat it out into a Yellow Lip Jelly that not only has a big amount of points, but it can regenerate some energy. For Schnoz-Berry Cookie, not only he can sneeze out an energy potion, but his sneezes can destroy obstacles and turn them into purple nose jellies. For Sarge Ear Cookie, not only he can make hidden energy potions appear, but he can also find a Blue Ear Jelly which has a big amount of points. The stronger the enchanted power gets, the more points for the Unleash the Senses points gets!

Pet Skill: The Prisma Speaker will play music to generate colorful musical note jellies as well as destroying obstacles, it can also revive a cookie with a big amount of energy. Level up for more points and Colorful Musical Flow points and more starting energy.

Story: “The Gummy Five have received gifts of gummy body parts and have become magical sorcerers with powers of the five senses; Apple Eye Cookie, the cunning leader of the group. Handy Cookie, the helpful smart guy of the group. Zesty Taste Cookie, the foodie and cook of the group. Schnoz-Berry Cookie, the doctor of the group. And Sarge Ear Cookie, the peaceful brawn of the group. They were wandering magicians, traveling around Earthbread to solve problems. One day, they come across a Submarine Whale who needs help unfreezing its owner, and so they unfroze the cookie who is none other than Gummy Jewel Cookie. After he shown some tricks and magic, they decided to let him join and he changed the group into a band that helps out not just cookies, but also festivals as well with the power of music and five senses, they are now called The Gummy Odyssey Mix.”

Pet Story: “Prisma Speaker is a pretty sight to behold, whenever it’s third eye opens up, it plays nice music to bring cookies up and going, it even goes well for parties. This thing was found by Apple Eye Cookie when he and his pals are off on a crusade, and upon discovering its happy music, they decided to keep it in their journeys as a pet and now they got music whenever they need it.”

Quotes: (When it comes to their quotes, the font color shows

New - “Here comes the senses!”

General:

(💚)

“Welcome Aboard!”

“Just look through my magic eye.”

“Wanna see what I can do with my eye?”

(🩷)

“My hair can be another hand, you know.”

“I can still feel things even with a blindfold.”

“Step Right in, and feel the magic of music!”

(💛)

“Indulge with us, as I bring you the taste of the party!”

“You should try out the finger food, it’s delicious!”

“I’m not just a foodie, but I am a great cook!”

(💜)

“Can you smell it? The fun has just begun!”

“I can smell anything, even emotion as well.”

“While we wait for the show, allow me to sponsor our bestsellers.”

(🩵)

“Open your ears everyone, the show’s about to begin!”

“I have great hearing!”

“Isn’t my lover the greatest singer?”

Tired: (💚) “My eye’s getting tired…” (🩷) “Everything’s too sweaty to feel…” (💛) “No thanks…I’m full..” (💜) “*sniff* *sniff* Not the Allergies…” (🩵) “Does anyone hear ringing or is it just me?”

Lobby:

Daily Gift: “(💚) Here! (🩷) Have this (💛) as a (💜) trinket, (🩵) Enjoy!”

Tap:

(💚)

“ My eye? I got this naturally!”

“I am Co-Leader of the group, but I am the leader to my four friends.”

“I can see everything and know any types of writing!”

(🩷)

“Feelings cannot just be around emotions, but it can be any physical contacts.”

“You should try out touch therapy for some change, it’s good for you.”

“If you try to do something behind me, my hair can stop you.”

(💛)

“I like tasting things, it’s a habit of mine.”

“Wanna see what I can do with my tongue?”

“I can cook you a fine meal while you wait for the show!”

(💜)

“Ooh! I can smell excitement in the air!”

“I suggest aroma therapy will help you calm down from stress and another problems.”

“This Groucho Necklace helps me smell in a supernatural way.”

(🩵)

“I love the sound of nature whenever in my spare time.”

“You wanna date? Sorry but I’m already taken..”

“You can tell me anything, I’m all ears!”

Gifts:

“(💚) These will definitely refill our sense powers!” (Given The Five Sense Charms)

“(💚) “What a pretty sight to behold!” (🩷) “It feels so silky!” (💛) “I bet it taste delicious! Is it edible?” (💜) “Ooo! It smells so good!” (🩵) “Gummy Jewel would love this as a gift!” (Given Royal Golden Dough)

“🎵Thank yooooooou~🎵!” (Neutral)

Relationship Chart:

The Gummy Five 💛 Gummy Jewel Cookie: (💚) “This cookie made our jobs better after we help him out.” (Admiration)

The Gummy Five 💚 Popping Candy: (🩷) “Another musical group of five? How interesting!” (Friendly)

The Gummy Five 💙 Sandwich Cookie: (💛) “She makes the best sandwiches!” (Trust)

The Gummy Five 💚 Rockstar Cookie: (🩵) “We should plan on making a collab together someday.” (Friendly)

Gummy Jewel Cookie 💚 Princess Cookie: (🩷) “Such a nice lady! She always full of pep and courage, just like Gummy Jewel!” (Friendly)

The Gummy Five 💛 Moon Rabbit Cookie: (💛) “Ooh! I cannot say no to their offer of food!” (Admiration)

The Gummy Five 💚 Sparkling Cookie: (💜) “The sweet smell of drinks and good service is the reason why Gummy Jewel likes this cookie!” (Friendly)

The Gummy Five 💛 Gingerbrave: (🩵) “We one time made the song about him and his bravery on his birthday, and he likes it very much!” (Admiration)

The Gummy Five 🩶 Poison Mushroom Cookie: (💛) “I dunno, sure I may be a foodie and all, but I don’t wanna know what would happen to me if I ate one.” (Tension)

Fun Facts: This Cookie has Hollyberry Kingdom Resident Jam flowing through, making him feel like a relative to Hollyberry Cookie! He is themed after Helmut Fullbear, as well as The Gummy Five of his Gummy Odyssey Mix are themed after Helmut's Band; Feast of the Senses!

#cookie run #cookie run oc #gummy gems #crob #crob oc #Gummy Jewel Cookie #gummy body parts #Apple Eye Cookie #Handy Cookie #Zesty Taste Cookie #Schnoz-Berry Cookie #Sarge Ear Cookie

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mauesartetc · 2 years

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Is there a helluva boss character design that you don't like besides Asmodeus and the hellhounds? If so what would you do to change it?

Well I also redesigned Striker that one time, partly because his canon design appeared to very heavily reference another animated non-human cowboy villain. (This is lazy, folks. When you're designing characters, you want to draw your inspiration from real life sources instead of riding another designer's coattails. If you're using other animated characters as reference, you're doing it wrong.)

But my least favorite Helluva Boss design by far is Lyle Lipton (the old man in C.H.E.R.U.B), because the style he's drawn in doesn't fit the show at all, and he seems kinda generic, like he was the first draft someone doodled on a notepad with the prompt "old man" rather than a finished product. There's nothing visually memorable about him except his massive schnoz.

And it strikes me as odd that there’s not much connecting Lyle’s elderly incarnation to the form he took in the flashback, or the one he takes as a demon in Hell. Yes, he and his business partner Loopty Goopty sport the same swirly eyes as the goggles they wore when they were young, but Old!Lyle doesn’t even have a single swirl on him-? Sure, you could argue it’s because he’s a shell of his former self, but it’d be nice to keep some hint of who he was intact. There’s just a lack of flow and consistency in what’s included and what isn’t. This design feels more random than anything else.

The body types don’t match up, either; first he’s fit and athletic, then he’s sorta lumpy with bony arms, and finally he’s round and fat. If you showed someone these images out of context, they’d have no idea these three iterations are portraying the same character.

Let’s use the young version as a base to create a more convincing, more unique older version.

Swirls for days on this one. No goggles on the old man version, so I had to compensate. This felt like designing Pokemon evolutions, though there’s certainly a case to be made that Lyle has devolved instead. (And yes, I kept the piano teeth since they’re a nod to how he dies.) This was fun!

#ask #blacklilly27 #character design #helluva boss #helluva critical #redesign #old man #lyle lipton

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splatoonlink · 2 years

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My Top 11 Favorite Fish

would’ve been 10 but i screwed up

#11: Coelacanth

this one almost tied with tripod fish, but i had to choose coelacanths because their story is just so moving. imagine thinking that a fish has been dead for millions of years only to discover it alive and well in the deep sea. it’s beautiful, and it gives me hope that maybe some day we might find some other wonderful creatures in the deep. bonus points for their beautiful appearance (no pic cause i hit the limit 😔), but i’m also subtracting some because their name is hard to spell. (also worth mentioning that including lungfish, they’re some of the only lobe-finned fish still alive today, making them our fishy relatives!)

#10: Leafy Sea Dragon

this one is an old favorite. as the name implies, it looks a lot like a bunch of leaves drifting around in the sea (and acts like it too). these guys are relatives of the seahorse, and while they don’t have the same weird upright position, they’re still very unique and interesting! plus they’re called dragons, which is awesome. (also worth mentioning that sea horses/dragons are related to pipefish! look it up and you can totally see the resemblance between pipefish and their freaky cousins)

#9: Black Sturgeon

these fish are just very appealing. they’re big, beautiful, and ancient. what else is there to want? plus, you can sometimes find them in aquarium touch pools and they’re really fun to pet. unfortunately, sturgeons are some of the most endangered fish on earth, partially in thanks to the caviar trade which harvests their eggs as a delicacy. i sincerely hope that we as a species can do something to stop this in order to keep these spectacular fish from going extinct.

#8: Red Cornetfish

admittedly i don’t really know that much about these guys aside from the fact that they live in japan. but, they’re really silly looking. like they’re so silly. there’s just something so delightful about a fish with a long snout... if you want to see some other silly fish, i’d recommend looking up trumpetfish, elephant nose fish, needlefish, and sawfish.

#7: Sockeye Salmon

these guys are like the archetypical salmon species. when you think of salmon, you think of them. honestly, salmonids are probably my favorite group of fish; there’s something so compelling about the transformation they go through and the upstream journey they face in order to spawn. they’re very unique and unusual fish. also, i like how they look when spawning, it’s very pretty… sometimes their bright, shiny red scales make my brain think they look like a fruit gummy.

#6: Longnose Gar

just look at its face- isn’t it just the cutest thing in the world? gar are a type of predatory freshwater fish that have been around for 100 million years, since the time of the dinosaurs! a lot of them have adorable scale patterns, like stripes and spots, and the longnose gar is no exception. but of course the reason i like it so much is cause of that big ol’ schnoz. it’s just so silly and cute!

#5: Moray Eel

a delightfully long boy with a terrifying set of teeth. moray eels like to hide in crags and crevasses and ambush unsuspecting prey! their bright colors might seem to make them stand out, but they’re actually pretty hard to spot among the coral. additionally, moray eels have a coating of slime on their bodies that protects them from parasites and infections. also i just think their faces are cute. there’s just something about them, y’know?

#4: Leopard Shark

a lot of people love sharks, and for good reason- they’re totally awesome! my favorite shark is the leopard shark. their spotted markings are beautiful and i find their body shape a lot prettier than most other sharks. watching them swim is truly mesmerizing… also, they’re one of those weird sharks where their eggs hatch inside the womb and are given birth to later. you’d think they would prefer to either lay eggs or give live birth but i guess some sharks just can’t choose…

#3: Atlantic Sailfish

what an extraordinary fish! in addition to being the fastest fish in the world with top speeds of 70mph, they have a striking appearance that’s hard to forget. the deep blues and bright yellows accented with a clean white is just perfect in every way. and have i mentioned that they can change color? it isn’t talked about much, but these fish are group hunters and will change color to confuse their prey and warn their buddies before they attack with the giant sword on their face. how wonderful!

#2: Hagfish

deep sea creatures hold a special place in my heart, and hagfish really encapsulate why with their perfect blend of cute, creepy, and interesting. for starters, their lack of eyes might be scary, but it just makes their little faces so much cuter! however, what looks like their mouth is actually just their nose! their real mouth looks straight out of a horror movie (in fact, i’ve seen a horror movie monster use this exact mouth) with a big mouth full of teeth. they don’t have jaws, so they just have to kind of wiggle around in order to rip flesh from the bodies they scavenge. and don’t even get me started on the properties of their slime! (seriously. don’t get me started). hagfish and lampreys are the only known jawless fish alive today, making them truly special. i just really love hagfish okay they’re everything to me.

#1: Cherry Salmon

it’s the fish you’ve been waiting for, the cherry salmon! i’m honestly not as much of an expert on these guys as i am on hagfish, but that doesn’t mean i don’t love them with all my heart. i love cherries and i love salmon, so cherry salmon are like an awesome combination of two awesome things. and just look at those beautiful markings! i’m gonna be honest, the reason why i like them in the first place is because of animal crossing. i kept catching them, and i was like “oh this fish is the best fish ever actually.” and i still think that. they’re just so cute, so beautiful, and they have an awesome name. (yes i’m called cherry cause of them what about it). overall, even if these fish aren’t super interesting or unique, they’re delightful little guys, and i really love them for that.

and that’s the end of the list! if you’re reading this, thanks for making it this far. feel free to leave a reply telling me what your favorite fish is, or send me an ask! if you have a list idea you think i should make, let me know because i love talking about sea creatures. i’m not making any of them as long as this one tho lol

#fish #marine biology #deep sea #sea creatures #mine

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iepurasdepraf · 6 days

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ᒍEᖇᐯIᔕ TETᑕᕼ: ᒪIGᕼTᔕ OᑌT - ᑭᗩᖇT 1

Music for this part

Acrid smoke stung your eyes between the passes of the oscillating fan that gave you respite while the cigarette between your teeth burned down a little by little. You were putting all your attention into counting and just been letting it burn at this point. Sucking that cancer in or not, you needed it. Praying to the god of Marlboro that a hit of nicotine will keep your eyes open just a bit longer even if it made it harder at the same time.

At the tail end of a nine hour shift, you had counted the same bills three times and come up with different numbers each time. Tired to the bones, it was day four of five of work and you had to come back tomorrow at seven pm. It was four forty seven am. You shouldn't have covered those three hours for Chitchat so she could go on that date. She owed you.

You just wanted to go home. Take a nice hot shower while you could still stand up then sleep. Fuck getting groceries tomorrow before work. Thirteen minutes and you were free. Just thirteen more. Thinking about it makes your arms feel heavier. Even counting the cash felt like a chore at this point, but you wanted to exchange the ones and fives in the club rather than making yourself a mark with trash bags full of cash on the subway.

“Hey, Bans! You got a guy!”

You couldn’t even manage a groan. After squeezing your eyes shut for a moment and letting your head tilt back to try to gather yourself as best you can, you rip the cigarette out of your mouth, asking as nicely as you could manage in spite of how your body was tensed up “Table or VIP?” “I dunno,” The other girl said, waddling past you with one of her heels off already, feet bright red from being on them all night. “Just asked for you on my way back and I said I’d get you for him.”

You snuff your smoke out slightly too aggressively, but luckily she doesn’t notice. You weren’t mad at her and didn’t want her to think that so you make sure to check yourself. Whatever, hopefully this would end with a big fat tip for your efforts. Not a bad way to end the night and so you pop a peppermint in your mouth out of the tray on the table and put on your best smile while shuffling your money, zipping it up in your bag to take home.

“Wish me luck.” You say tossing your bag back in the corner and shrugging on your ripped up black crop top, not bothering with your bra.. It was enough. They were lucky you even put your pants, tiny as they were, back on at this point. You weren’t going to put in that kind of effort this early in the morning. “Good luck!” She called after you, giddily flopping on the leather sofa you’d been taking up until then.

You nearly jump out of your skin when you straight up run into the guy after busting through the door a little too hard in your hurry to get home making him take a few staggered steps back. He’d been waiting so close to it you were shocked you didn’t hit him right in his very prominent schnoz. At least you knew who’d asked for you right away. “Well hey there, handsome!” He was, in fact, not handsome. He was- God, he was really sweaty. Why was he so sweaty? You’d barely touched him and you felt like someone hit you with a toad straight out of a parking lot puddle.

“Hh-ih-hhh-hi-” Oh God, he was a weird one. A really weird one. He stood there in all his yellow buck-toothed glory wringing his hands out of his element entirely in his dorky tweed suit with a terrible comb over and coke bottle glasses that magnified his eyes to the point of comedy. Shaking. Trembling. In absolute shambles and for no reason you could see. Existing was this creature’s enemy.

Those big doe eyes blinked up at you and he said…absolutely nothing. He only got out that squeaky greeting. He’d been hard to hear over the music, but you weren’t worried about Mr. Mumbles. You’d have him back in the VIP soon enough and be able to hear him just fine. You put that winning smile on and his shivering intensified. You didn’t think his eyes could get bigger, but he responded to a simple smile like you’d taken your top off in front of him for the second time tonight, but maybe he’d missed that.

He was just your type. Those sweet old nerds that never peaked fell head over heels for you and the 80’s goth aesthetic you so carefully cultivated. You triggered that nostalgia for that youth they missed out on, the prime they could have had. The hot girl in their comp-sci class they could never work up the courage to even wave at in the hall and for a couple of thin easily earned, for them at least, dollars you could be theirs for just a few minutes in the club. To look at and, for the right price, you’d touch them and they could pretend they hadn’t been such losers. If they tried outside of that your boss would remind them what being shoved in a locker felt like though.

“What can the Banshee do for you?” “Ha-hmm-” You glanced at the clock then back at him. There was no such thing as overtime here, little man. You couldn’t say that, but you certainly thought it at least twice before he finally said “I- ah, I was hoping wh-” He had some kind of a nervous tic. It looked like he flinched. Maybe he had, you weren’t a doctor. You couldn’t tell, but it made your hairless brow arch all the same. Around four foot ten, mousey brown hair. Greasy. Just everywhere, greasy all over. His eyes were watery, but it was too dark to see what color they were. He smelled like alcohol, but not the kind from the bar. Isopropyl alcohol.

The job came with its hazards and it looked like this geek might be one of them. You memorized his features the best you could just in case just like your boss taught you. There was plenty going on that would identify him if worse came to worse and plenty of cameras. “I was hh-hoping for a, um, private show?” He sounded funny and it wasn’t just the tic that had him stuttering. He had an accent. English? Now that he was actually managing some words you could hear it. That was weird on its own. This wasn’t exactly a tourist destination. He must work in the city? “Yeah?” You say hoping you sound more interested in it than you actually were.

It seemed to work, perking him up maybe a little too enthusiastically. “I brought money! A lot of money!” He reached into his coat and pulled out the biggest wad of cash you’d ever seen at once with both hands, it had to be at least ten thousand dollars. You grabbed his hands and held them down between the two of you so no one else could see. “Woah! Easy there, killer!” Was he insane?! This was downtown Gotham! Crime Alley was up the street. He’d have jumped for a couple of fives down here if anyone thought he had them in his wallet.

All he did in response was gasp that you had touched him then stare down at where your hands had met his actively vibrating ones. “Let’s take this to the back, alright? You gotta be more careful.” He didn’t move until you moved him. Taking that huge brick of cash in one hand and his wrist in the other, you marched him to the first empty lounge like he was a downright naughty boy being taken to his room.

Once the door was locked you turned to him “You could have been killed for this if anyone saw you with it.” You chastised bringing his hand up to press the cash in it. Making sure his fingers wrapped around it before you let go. He didn’t answer, still staring at your hand on his wrist so you let that go too. Your hands were sopping wet from the sheer amount of sweat pouring off him.

To his credit, he seemed to function better in the back after what looked like the human version of a computer restarting without warning you first so you lost the progress on that word document you’d been working on for over an hour. Lingering electronic ptsd from high school essays aside, maybe it had been the lights and loud music that had put him over the edge on top of whatever else he was dealing with naturally? You didn’t know, but after that quiet reboot he looked a little more human and less like a rat that had touched the third rail.

At least he was speaking up now. “I didn’t…think about it, I apologize.” He said in an awfully shrill voice making you question why he was apologizing to you? His voice was unsettling and gave you that shiver up your spine the same way something grainy like unpolished glass grinding together did. It had a certain cartoonish quality to it in both pitch and tone. If you’d heard it over the phone you would have sworn he was using some kind of modulator to hide what he really sounded like. Did he genuinely sound that way? If he didn't, why was he putting on a voice like that?

“I, ah- Well,” He held the money up again “I didn’t know how much to bring, you see, so I-well, I brought what seemed most reasonable for your, um, services?” He poised it as a question more than an answer. Like he was asking if it was reasonable rather than explaining that it was. You squinted at him. That was a reasonable amount of money to him? How disconnected from reality was he?

“VIP packages start at three fifty.” You informed after crossing your arms, partially trying to find a comfortable way to stand with your back so sore and partially trying to put some defense up against the tiny man now that you were discussing business. He gasped like this was breaking news he couldn’t have googled before coming at all. Your boss had just set up a whole website for it specifically so people would stop trying to haggle with the girls.

“Well,” The man counted out a few of the hundreds then fidgeted and looked back up at you “What’s the biggest package?” He was nearly cute in a kicked puppy way, but you didn’t let your defense down. You couldn’t afford to even with all that money on the table. “Do you have friends waiting outside or something?” “No! Why, no! No, mam, just me!” You felt your hand touch your cheek as you stared at the weirdo in absolute awed confusion. What on earth was this guy’s deal?

You were too nice. Always have been. You should have just taken the money. He wanted to spend it and here you were talking him down like an idiot. Take the whole wad and don’t look back, come on! “But-but, miss, I want the most time!” He yelped a little too loudly, it made his voice crack.

God, he was desperate. Your manicured finger tapped against your cheek as you pondered how this man hadn’t been scammed of every scant cent by now, especially in this city. “We can work that out, but what do you want?” Please, don’t say sex. You weren’t even sure if security was even still in the building and you’d had enough bad experiences with that. “I, um, need to give a presentation?”

What?

The look you must have given him prompted him to explain himself “I just need to give a presentation! At work! A presentation for my work at, uh, work and, well, I-” He melted into nervous giggles before he finished, but managed to suppress them enough to finish after a moment of looking like he was about to run away. “I need to practice. An audience so to speak and-” He looked miserable suddenly. “I don’t…” His voice lowered to a whisper “have any friends.”

Your heart felt a little pang for him. Ok, more than a little. Same, man. Well, sort of. You had work friends. That wasn’t the same thing as a friend friend, but it wasn’t hard to believe this guy had no one at all. “Truly, I do need this!” He added quickly “It’s very important! My research depends on this! I promise I don’t mean to insult you or waste your time! I could lose funding and-and-” “I’m happy to work something out with you, but let's get you a drink first, alright?” “Alright.” He parroted back happy for the break from explaining himself. Taking quick half breaths on the verge of hyperventilating it looked like.

With peace and love, he didn’t look like a man who could hold his liquor. Nor did he seem like the type that would handle it well if he managed to do so. He needed to relax and there wasn’t anyone better for the job. You were the complete package and proud of it. You knew how to wind them up and just as importantly wind them down. You knew how to make more than a quick few cocktails, it was a part of the job.Thumbing through the Rolodex of recipes in your head you stopped on the first one that wouldn’t kill him on impact.

A Friar Tuck. Chocolate milk for big boys. You glanced back at him on your way to the fully stocked minibar. Big enough boys. Hazelnut liqueur, dark crème de cacao, and Frangelico with, in this case, some nice cold half n’ half shaken with ice then strained in a glass. “Sip.” You say handing the glass to… hang on a second.

“Now,” You sat him down in a chair with some gentle ushering “Let’s try this again. Hello, handsome.” He giggled nervously at you and smiled a sort of odd suppressed smile over being called handsome. You realized he was trying to hide his teeth now that he was thinking about it. There was no hiding those buck teeth. “What’s your name?”

“Jervis. Jervis Tetch.”

Banner art: DRCL - Midnight Children by Sakamoto Shinichi

#jervis tetch x reader #jervis tetch x you #//.mywriting.//#I hope you all like it #I'm quite proud of how it polished up #w. 2431

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