#saying my goodbyes to everyone now cuz i actually may not be here in a few hours

[taetebebe]

[iodrawsandtalks]

A long-ass testimonial as a player of Honkai: Star Rail. please read if you have the time. I wish all honkai content creators would bear to understand this

goin through exhaustion rn but thats just normal and not something id complain about. Anyways when this game released in summer 2023, I was just as hyped as everybody else. I had started playing since the last closed beta where I had gotten bailu and mained qingque cuz she felt so real for being lazy on the job plus i LOVED playing hard and winning big.

I had a fun time later when the game ACTUALLY did release though I had to say goodbye to my bailu who I replaced with Clara and mained Seele who I knew from playing Honkai Impact for quite a while. I felt like i fit in with every other HI3/HSR player, running high spd seele with bronya and taking my silver wolf to every Simulated Universe fight, and laughing about getting rolled by the blue gorilla that hates when people use skills. I laughed at the launch memes everyone else was laughing at and usually was the first person to beat new bosses fights and stories when they came out.

I've realized that just because you think you fit in with people, doesn't mean they'll act like you do fit. They watch you trip, and struggle, and when the thing you like starts slinging venom at you, they let you fall. They laugh when you get hurt and protect what hurt you. Now when I started this game, as a black guy I was aware dumb, racist things were gonna pop up, as we know with genshin impact with the whole ass glass bottle floating around calling desert explorers/fighters "sand-lickers", and Honkai Impact's one black character being one who hates her dark skin and bleaches it consistently with makeup. She's also the only character to never get special outfit effects. Naturally, I did not bat an eye at the dark skin lightning guy having the SHACKLE BREAKER and SWIFT HARVEST SKILLS.

as we may know im a lore guy who thinks a lot. there is no "character reference" or wordplay that holds up here. This is dumb associations made to dark skinned individuals for doing slave work(harvesting.) and being held in chains(shackle). Anyways somehow even though this eluded me, I found it odd that the one dark skinned character in the roster was the bad one. People would make all kinds of excuses but never show anything concrete. Arlan himself is lacking the skill point mechanic which literally bars him from an entire simulated universe path. see my notes on him here . Point is this got worse as time went on, to a point where this fan that was still crazy hyped after the Xianzhou arc hype was watching every promotional video for the next region. Penacony, and got hit with the revelation that their next region was going to be based on the Jazz Age. Jazz is known throughout the world as one of the most widely celebrated creations of black people for the rest of the world, and the soul of Jazz, Funk, Pop, and many other types of music rest in black history, black stories, and black emotions. I'd rather not revisit the complete amalgation of this soul that is that dumb fucking region with the slave master and the incel-heaven slur slinger invading the quantum meta, but I should still add that the story is an incredibly half-assed take at introducing evil concepts like slavery and trying to add nuance to them. I played through so many routes where there was some implication of slavery benefitting a future society, and there was this one awful point i had to check out at where the player uses CLOCKWORK TO FIX THE MIND OF A DISCONTENT FREED SLAVE SO THEY SEEK THEIR MASTER AGAIN. There is no "makes sense in context" or "theres lore behind this" because that should be taken at face value. Their disgusting apparition of the Jazz Age should not be justified and glorified the way it is today. I believe in protecting the history of those who paved the way for me and I also would like to believe that I shouldn't have to fight to not deal with mockery within games or shows I enjoy. This whole experience I've had has tainted this game for me. I was listening through my fighting game playlist earlier and WHITE NIGHT came on. The first time I had heard it I thought it was amazing and wanted to make a cover of it and enter the 2024 fan art contest. But when I heard it for the most recent time, I wanted to vomit. This 'fun party' song was empty and felt like it was slinging lies of joy and entropy in my face. I couldn't celebrate the media that glorified excusing my people from society. And I really don't get WHY everyone else does. As somebody whose played a lot of mainstream games I've seen a crowd that acts woke to social issues and seemed to stand up in the face of injustice. I don't KNOW any internet culture so i thought activist = good person. recently ive seen and interacted with a lot of "activists" that were willing to watch this billion dollar company perpetuate racism, stereotypes and appropriation. This is usually because the company had given them a "complex" png with "emotions" that was "coded" to be made for them. and their character's emotions outrank real people's emotions in their interactions. these activists were more likely to listen to the billion dollar company's machinations of a white girl fairy princess or whatever their latest obsession was, than real people.

its been tiring and its been sickening. excuse me for being too real for a second but I AM SICK AND TIRED OF MENTALLY ILL WHITE PEOPLE ONLINE TELLING ME RACISM IS A CHARACTER TRAIT OR SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DONE RIGHT, OR SOMETHING THAT SPICES UP A NARRATIVE. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. what if we had characters that were abusers, huh? or pedophiles? and what if those characters never had to deal with consequences of their actions? and what if everybody was worshipping the writing team making these hero abusers, and hero pedophiles? would it suddenly make sense then?

can people stop hyping this awful shit up? Pick up a different game or something. stain their brand. Have an audience for your star rail content? can you draw like trees or something,..... instead? this is not a good game and it does not do good things. The developers are incels with a large cult following. They are not good people, they say the right things. stop feeding them. do something else. pick something else up. play something else. I know people may find their games and content dear to yall but if racism is worse to you than losing a game, boycott these rich, selfish snakes.

[struggling-author]

Hey what are your avatar otps besides azulaang?

oh umm… I wouldn’t call them OTPs since that is exclusively Azulaang, but my bi Azula headcanon lives in a variety of ships. Azutara, Azuki, Maizula… not Tyzula tbh because that feels like… imbalanced? and not Tophzula because they are menace-besties but not romantic, but with any of the other girls I think it could be great. Azutara has the enemies to lovers from Azulaang but with more spice and less forgiveness, they‘d tear eachother apart first but that makes it even sweeter if they eventually fall in love. Azuki is kind of different because Suki is more rational and holds less of an emotional grudge, it‘d be difficult for Azula to earn her trust but she would not be openly hostile to her unless necessary. I imagine this one could only happen if Azula is already in the middle or post redemption though, because Suki would not put up with any EtL shit. I guess that is exactly why it intrigues me too, I feel Suki would be more willing to give Azula a chance, more than Katara for example, but at the same time it would be impossibly hard to win her trust and I‘d like to see if Zula can manage it. Lastly Maizula, and I prefer this one over Tyzula because I feel Mai is more capable of holding her own against Azula in a relationship. It’s a complicated version of childhood friends to lovers and I‘m kind of here for it. No idea how it would work though lol.

Aside from Azula ships, I think Zutara is pretty cool and works well alongside Azulaang. Kataang is kinda cool in theory too, but I don’t like shipping Aang with anyone except Azula, it feels wrong 🤷‍♂️ The only other Aang ship I can imagine liking is Zukaang, but I don’t talk about it much.

Oh and I have to give a shoutout to Sokkla, I don’t particularly vibe with it but they’re the sister ship to Azulaang and I do see the potential of the two genius strategists, so if Aang didn’t exist I would definitely ship Sokkla instead. Nothing but love to the comrades over there. 🫶🏼

edit: totally forgot this but I actually also love Tylaang aka Ty-Lee and Aang, it just has absolutely no fandom so it’s hard to get the ball rolling. I just feel they would be such a wholesome bubbly cute ship, and I dig the Ty-Lee airbender ancestry theory so she‘d love to learn all about airbender customs and they‘d have so much fun and probably a huge family 😅 anyway I think party of why I ship this is just because I think these two deserve the world and it represents my wish for them to be totally carefree and happy. you can also add Azula and make this a throuple, I think that would work because you have Tyzula as the polar opposites and Aang in the middle to bridge the gap.

speaking of throuples I enjoy the idea of… Azutaraang? (Azula/Katara/Aang) but it is very difficult to make work. The only way I can see it is if Azula and Katara fall in love first because nothing good could come of them fighting over Aang. or maybe I could see like a stranded on a deserted island AU where the three of them have to work together and learn to rely on eachother… idk, difficult but not impossible.

Oh and I love Zuki too (Zuko x Zuki) …damn I guess I do have quite a few non-Azulaang ships. anyway this is essentially a bodyguard AU and it’s actually my favorite Zuko ship (sorry Zutara) not much to say about it cuz I’ve barely engaged with it, but I love the idea and think they would just work really well together. I also can see this as a throuple with Sokka again. I don’t really vibe with Zukka on their own but if you add Suki then I love it, because Suki deserves two good boys and it’s more fun for everyone involved if those two good boys are in love with eachother too.

final edit hopefully: Sokka Azula Aang is good too, for the same reasons listed for Zuko Suki Sokka, I swear that’s it now. goodbye lol.

[sasukimimochi]

me and my friends @yuzanrath and @mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess were casually brainrotting today and we came up with a pretty funny prompt (who knows if I may eventually write it but I do really enjoy it and I don't write enough funny things) For some context, this prompt started as a joke where JC single-handedly invents non-sexual dual cultivation cuz he's so chronically single, but this is a separated idea more focused on wwx haha (no warning cuz no real pregnancies are had, just shenanigans)

TLDR will be at the bottom.

Let's say this is like, 2 years post-canon or more. So the 'juniors' probably aren't all juniors at this point but i'm still gonna call them that.

-wwx gets cursed with some sort of bloating while on a night hunt with the juniors but it doesn't start showing until the next day. wwx teases/jokes with the juniors about various forms of innocent touches/staring and points out he and lwj were holding hands the day previous before he left on his trip and kissed him goodbye and so everyone starts to believe he really IS pregnant from such a little thing. (the juniors are ofc horrified at the prospect of such easily acquired pregnancy AND FOR A MALE, and lsz is secretly excited about the prospect of getting a sib)

-Wen Ning (as part of the night hunting party who is still around rn) is kinda doubtful, but he also ends up believing bc the juniors getting excited (mainly lsz) is infectious. And, wwx really does have abdominal swelling; so, as is the theme here, he ends up believing too despite his doubts.

-lxc is informed via a junior and wwx shows that he is in fact not stuffing his shirt and lxc is stumped, can't defute, so decides it's best to go along with it for now just in case, as to not stress out the potentially pregnant brother-in-law.

-lxc and the juniors are babying him a little bit but wwx finds it funny and enjoyable so keeps it up for now since the curse is something he can easily fix and doesn't really hurt.

-LWJ comes home and at first thinks "wei ying what have u done now" but then sees the swelling is actually attached to his body and falls for it too, cue the doting husband who becomes his shadow. No more spicy food while he's 'expecting', no sex cuz he's too rough, no liquor bc bad for the baby.

-wwx handles this for a couple days, the super healthy food, lack of everything he likes, and a subtle pain in his gut from the swelling getting worse too quickly (skin isn't meant to stretch that fast) before he can't do it anymore and confesses that it was him teasing the kids and kept the joke going too long. (He cures the curse in front of him perhaps and lwj is just devastated but in his lwj way. That or LWJ cures it with something simple like cleansing idk)

-They tell lxc & lqr and lxc looks disappointed bc he likes children but mainly bc lwj is sad too (and of course lqr is celebrating oh thank god it was fake)

-they tell lsz & Wen Ning and that's the final straw, the sad subtle puppy-eye looking disappointment makes wwx drag the three on a journey out of the cloud recesses; They find a little bebe orphan to take in, perhaps they have a goofy journey of offering parenthood to orphaned kids who don't trust/don't want it before they find a local single mother died giving birth or something and they end up having a real connection with the baby, including lsz who gets insta attached, and so its decided one way or another that this is their baby.

-They go back to cloud recesses and the juniors are all like "WHERE DID YOU GO WHILE YOU WERE PREGNANT AND THEN LXC SAID YOU WEREN'T AN- OH" baby reveal. and thus wwx grins and the baby joke continues, says that he just had the baby etc etc and lxc was mistaken they just wanted a private birth or smth blah blah blah

-lsz immediately goes along with it because he is extra happy he has a little brother/sister now and he's feeling mischievous too, and says they need to take the baby to the nursery etc etc and wwx needs to rest (he is a bit tired tho after running around and getting rid of that curse n stuff)

-JC comes storming bc of the rumors bc even in gusu they can't shut their traps and sees baby, deflates but still has grumpy face like wtf happened (probably Jin Ling's fault that he finds out)

-wwx would probably joke a bit then tell him the truth immediately instead of trying to make him believe it too to avoid confrontation but asks for him to keep it secret for the joke, and Jc is like "..." cuz its an opportunity for the two to joke around together again even if he's grumpy™️ about it and so he doesn't dote on wwx but he does play along with the joke in his own way for a bit until maybe jc says something crazy and/or outrageous that couldn't be true to jin ling and he goes to wwx in a panic and so the jig is up but he tells all the juniors with 100% honesty that they did just adopt a baby and that part wasn't a joke but he didn't give birth himself and he was OK and then its just cute baby and junior interactions

bonus that came up later:

-lwj gets drunk and ends up going out again with wwx tailing close behind. they come home with another child, and thus when lwj is sober again he's suddenly a father of two young children. Cue cute timid wide-eyed bunny mode lwj while wwx comforts him (but laughing and teasing him like haha you made me pregnant again what a scandal! one look and I instantly gave birth! lwj you're so insatiable) and lsz not-so-secretly celebrates their suddenly growing family.

-JC is extremely pouty in his JC way about all these nephews he only gets to know about after they're already adopted.

-lxc is feeling quite a bit better getting to baby the babies and help his brother with raising children again, and thankfully with wwx also by lwj's side.

It was too wild a ride not to share 😌💖✨

TLDR; wwx tricks the juniors, the jades, lqr and even jc temporarily into believing he's pregnant as a way to beat the boredom while lwj is out of cloud recesses (and continues until he can't stand the doting/guilt because he succeeds in his joking too well.) wwx and lwj end up actually adopting bc wwx can't stand the disappointed faces.

[shiocreator]

[blasts through the door so that unrealistic 3d blocks aimlessly and slowly float around as dust particles]

If I may-th impead on your domain. I ask-th, if you may, tell me about either most angst ideas you've ever had with OC x canon or the "kicks feet and giggles" sweet type ideas

I saw ur post n Tumblr said nah so I came here.

ANJJKNSKNJS

Ok So....

The Beauty that is scarlette is.

She has so many fucking issues man every SINGLE ship ive put her in has been slowburn strangers friends to lovers in some form cuz i genuinely cant imagine her one day getting randomly into a relationship in like, a blind date way.

SO A LLOTTA THE ANGST CAUSE IS JUST *HER DENIAL* AND AVOIDANCE, i quite frankly LOVE using misunderstandings with her in particular cuz she is so avoidant, she stsrts to avoid her crush and loses friendships that way a lot,

"they'd hate me if they knew i had a crush on them" cuz past trauma of first confession in middle school where everyone already didnt like her and all, and her only friend back then was her "crush", (which might have just been her desperate to cling to the only classmate she thought was a friend) and he just. Slung A lotta insults after she confessed that was the last straw caused her to be how she is

SO EXPLANATIONS OVER HERES THE FUNNY SHIPPING PARTS, read more to spare ppl. Also realizing this isnt just aus but abit vaguely entirely au related in some cases so. Beware

Scarhouse:

Angst; her starting to gain a crush and upon both Madhouse and her pining she realizes this and starts becoming so so *so* avoidant, which makes mike think she hates him now and Robyn has to force them BOTH to confront each other about it in the end (confession time at least happens)

Sweet; i like to think scarlette uses mike as a mattress cuz she can touch ghosts so he CAN hold her, so just cuddling typically on a hot day, wrote a fic n put it on ao3 and i still think its really fun.. touch starved individuals BHFJ

AnxiousGlamour; cant think of angst but the entire dynamic of enemies to friends to lovers with them is so fucking funny to me they yell at each other and insult each other banterly their dynamic before friendship is so funny to me, but lord they genuinely have surprising amount in common, sweet moments wise in my Monsterheart au Scarlette checks on Mettaton cuz ya know. Limbs, and just. They talk. Quiet moment of "you arent so bad afterall." Just quiet moments, Mettaton and her take the boat back to waterfall cuz Scar wanted to say goodbye to Napstablook, before she supposedly died or not. Somber ish moments before she says a "final" goodbye

Now ACTUAL shipping wise? Confession where scarlette is finally okay enough to acknowledge she wasnt get slaughtered or hated by a now at this point good friend just for having a crush, confesses to Mettaton, and "I'll uh, I'm probably gonna be pretty avoidant so i can make the crush go away so im sorry in adva-" "Darling I have been flirting with you for weeks now" "What" hjVKV

MonstrousLiars (okay so NAME CONTEXT. They're both liars. One would think Reigen would be more monstrous cuz ya know. Conman. So figurative 4 him but also hes Really Not. Scarlette is a Literal Monster.): Scarlette nearly dieing to save his and the kids asses which makes her go fully into a kinda adrenalyn fueled shapeshifting moment where she may be a Little drunk off the magic rushing through her veins and afterwards kinda has to be watched over cuz shes not doin great rn,

Scarlette is able to sense curses but not see them (ie she gets very bad vibes gets pale and goes into a minor cold sweat when too close to one, or gets a bubbling sense of dread with skin prickling etc etc, shes essentially absorbing the cursed energy against her will so her body feels BAD) so she just feels really ill and like shes dieing when she DOES get cursed, walks all the way to the office and collapses concerning everyone.

The ingeneral fact this woman wont let anyone help her with her issues is a great cause of pain for everyone cuz they WANNA help tbh

Sweet moments wise Scarlette at some point finally trusting Reigen enough to just, be a person, joke around abit, get him extra snacks she knows he'll like cuz getting people food is a love language.

Reigen and her having one on one dinners cuz he just wanted to know her better meanwhile shes just. Shes not even here for FREE food shes SHIT at interacting she doesnt even know why shes here but hey. coffee ! ghjFVUHG

Bonus cuz current brainrot is these two. Scarlette learning from Mob and Serizawa how things used to be way emptier and hints at reigen also just kinda, not being as having friends as one would assume he would have,, and Scar being just. Able to see that. Maybe theyre abit more similar than she thought and reachimg out abit.

She's been keeping pretty closed off, so i like to think her noticing Reigen is more similar to her than she would have assumed first, over him noticing it first, seemed fitting here, cuz shes learned bit about him through others, whereas she's been really rather. Not prone to even talking about herself, and the only way they can maybe learn more info bout her is carter or random moments of her hyperfixations pop up somehow

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Hi this is "severitus with alive Jilly au, unboxing horcrux gone wrong". I'm not going to write this because it will take time and those ideas are basically my good bye letter to this fandom. It's a little painful for me but I know I cannot stay in this fandom anymore. There are obviously more reasons but the main one is because this has been a central part of my childhood and I feel like I just cannot let it be a part of me for an unknown amount of time. I might return to it later in life but this is technically my goodbye to my childhood and me saying hello to adulthood officially (this is also why I'm staying an anon, I don't want to be associated with this fandom anymore, I want a clean break). This took a sad turn, but anyways, returning to the au.

You know the drill, I might also drop in

Bellatrix has a knife to my throat, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, I guess I don't have to say anything cuz Ron starts screaming

The rest of the week is kind of a blur everyone is panicking, we're sleeping in the Great hall, my parents come over and for some reason my dad asks what did I do to scare her off and is disappointed to find out I didn't do anything, she just kinda ran away after hearing Ron. My mom is kind of silent, she doesn't say anything, just asks if I got hurt "or something" (why did she say it like that does she not love me anymore?) and they just kind of leave after that, not making sure I was actually okay I wish Auntie or Peter were here instead of them

Snape did make sure I was okay, he gave me a cookie and a awkward head pat. Professor Lupin actually tries to talk to me, I appreciated that, he even offered to tutor me in any spell I wanted and I don't think any of us was expecting me to take up that offer. I had a dream where I couldn't cast a spell, it was called a Patronus and it apparently works against dementors, considering I still can't go outside without hearing children being tortured by a woman in a orphanage (I asked Tom about it and he apparently did grow up in an orphanage and we're his memories, I'm still not sure why am I hearing them but okay, sure, normal Tuesday shit for Harry Potter), I also know that Tom approves of this choice my soul was warmer that usual

Things go of as usual, aunt Petunia actually sends me an owl and that is a big step because usually hates owls.

I may not like being treated like I'm made out of glass by the rest of the school but I gained a new friend, Hermione, she is a little condescending and a little bit too nosey but she is super loyal and is willing to talk about things that Ron isn't ready for yet, like politics and bullies and the unfairness of being put a label on and being expected to act a certain way and how the wizarding world treats those they deam beneath them and how cute Blaise Zabini is and how hot Lavender is becoming. Though she is weirdly against dark magic and I am too, I think, but she takes it to a whole new level and now we are researching dark magic and how negatively it affect our society. I win three to one pro-dark magic.

School goes on and I have a bet with Ron and Hermione about the date of Snape and aunt Petunia's wedding because Spane handed me a letter from my aunt one morning and the Weasley twins said they saw a hickey of Snape's neck. I bet around summer after fifth year and summer before the forth year. Who cares I wasted twenty galleons, I'm rich, especially after my godfather dies.

I master the Patronus charm and leave everyone flabbergasted when I used it spontaneously on a dementor on my way to Herbology.

Somewhere in a tower towering over the school a batty old teacher named Trelawney said in a thousand voices that weren't her own but were: "That boy might as well save himself for Death if he is going to provoke him so, Death always loved a challenge." To bad the only person there to witness that didn't have any idea what that meant and thought that Trelawney was high and made a sexual joke so he laughed, like any 14 year old would, and went back to cleaning fake cristal balls.

The year ended so we went back home and I will spend the first month with my aunt and then head back to my parents. A scream is heard along the train and then another one and another one. Students are running along the hall so I get out of the compartment to see what's going on and a decapitated head (a boy in the year above me, a Hufflepuff), drenched in blood, lands at my feet (the only person who remebers what happens when you peak Death interest the only person who can begin to guess Harry's fate) with a a loud smacking sound and I look up from the blood filled floor and look into the eyes of a faded beauty, Bellatrix fucking Lestrange, in all her twisted glory.

The smiles at me, it's a gentle smile, it's the smile that a mother gives her child when their being endearing or funny, it's surprisingly... fond. "I finally found you again, my beautiful little doll." He grabs my collar with surprising force and forcefully drags me to a corpse filled compartment and the last thing I see before the window shatters behind me is her motherly smile.

'At least I can't lose the bet when I'm dead' is my last thought before pain erupted from my head and my back as hundreds of glass shards find their painfull home in my back.

Sorry for the wait, it took me 45 minutes to write this to make it quality to make up for my drunk ramblings last time, and don't worry, despite the cruelty I'm putting Harry through, he'll survive it somehow, he's a though little cookie.

Love you and your blog! Say hi to your wifey for me!

Oh! Well I��m proud of you for letting go! I’ll miss your asks!

Your idea is so good and I adore it!!! It was great that you put it out there before leaving! It’s very well thought out and I love the plot! You put some good thought into this.

You guys really inspire me to write.

“Thought that Trelawney was high and made a sexual joke, so he laughed” 😭😭 relatable

This ^ had me in tears ngl 🤣🤣🤣 Blaise is cute…and Lavender is hot…no lies here

@moonlightdancer26 my anon says hi ☺️

Miss you 🥹

[the-firebird69]

Paul Walker | See You Again

It's really a scene and it has Shinedown and the song sometimes goodbye is the second chance and it's because my husband is trying to protect the solar system from huge objects in the universe from colliding into any of them and from colliding out there which could destroy everything and it's what a journey too and that's what he's been doing and some people know it because it's real and people have lost sight of almost everything here and they're fighting like hell over it and it's a life and destiny with everybody so they're threatening Earth and it's terrible and in the letter it says sometimes goodbye as a second chance and Dave can swing it and he knows how and he was telling people he's doing evil stuff and there's no real solid proof that he's doing an evil way and what there is proof of is tons of people who seem very evil I tried for it and he had to fight them off now we know what the truth is but really from a human standpoint it makes a lot of sense. And in the song Shinedown sings I've seen Haley's comment and this is what my husband put in the letter and it's about to comment itself and it's still around and it's like shoemaker and he reference that and it's in the song because he sees it and somehow it goes back and it is Joel and Tommy have to picked up on it later and became one of the band members it's very intense and it's what this is all about so he told BG in the movie scene events he said that that's what it is and to pursue it as meaning to life it doesn't detracts like people think cuz you're trying to save yourself and others and he said wow he said it could be a chain reaction and it could destroy planets and then solar systems and then galaxies and he was amazed they said this guy has a s*** together and that's the way it is and Paul Walker actually died on set and Trump is imitating him in the movie and they understand what it means it means that JC may have passed away he might not have and he might come back and he's still family and he is related to BG he's a grand uncle and it's going on now and people are starting to see what this project started from

Hera

Zues

We do realize what the story really is and this is pretty close a lot of people see it and the letter says it the whole thing and he knows the computer will get it and if it revives him the computer will understand it and the embeds are in jeopardy and the whole universe right depend on it and everyone has to fight to keep the computer from getting it it's working now The fleets are up there in the surrounded hoth and the pseudo empire is one of them and they are going to land the rebels are there too and they are trying to land all the time

Thor Freya

Olympus and this is what genius is and he said he had help on this one and we were doing this stuff too yes and it is a major plan of ours

Zues Hera

[cblgblog]

Hand to hand, who wins in a fair (as it can be) fight Peggy Carter or Abby Anderson?

Why they gotta fight, man? Why you gotta make me choose between my children?

So my default response to most things is Peggy wins everything, Peggy always wins everything, Peggy could’ve beat fuckin Thanos if she’d been there. And to an extent, this will always be the case, Peggy can beat everyone cuz she’s Peggy, goodbye, the end.

BUT, let’s look at this.

So Abby and Peggy are both fairly simple fighters, yeah? There’s no fancy kung fu, Matrix shit, they both are very much just, take whatever you have in hand and weaponize it. Both will fight dirty without hesitation if it means coming out the other side, there’s no rules of honor or the like, no ‘I cannot hit someone who’s back is turned.’ Nope, both of them go in to every fight with the intent to win, that’s the only rule.

So the super obvious difference is the strength factor. Because, you know. Abby. Arms. Yeah. Huge arms, huge advantage there. But hey, we’ve seen Peggy fight people stronger than her all the time and come out the winner. She usually ends up getting a little bit strangled first, maybe thrown violently against a wall a time or three first, but she ultimately wins. She’s used to fighting people who have more physical strength than her. But Abby routinely fights clickers and worse, so she’s no slouch there either.

Assuming then that both are in their physical prime, I think it would honestly depend on environment. Like, if it’s just an empty room, or an empty field, something where there’s nothing at hand that either of them can use as an improvised weapon? Yeah, Abby could win that. If Abby could get those hands/arms around Peggy and keep them there, and Peggy doesn’t have anything at all to fight back with, and there’s no incoming assist from Rose or Jarvis or anyone? Yeah she could lose that, we’ve seen a few times where she’s been very much on the ropes and could’ve lost if some form of backup hadn’t arrived.

BUT.

Put her in an environment where there’s stuff around—like anything she can get in her hand at all stuff—that’s potentially a different story. Because while both have a similar use everything to your advantage fighting style, I think Peggy might be better at actually using everything. She’s taken on a Black Widow, multiple times, and at least made it to a draw, if not won outright. I think it’s what, a scarf that she uses against Dottie in the season 1 finale? I think scarf, may be wrong, I know it was some sort of tiny piece of cloth, okay?

I don’t think Abby thinks to use a piece of cloth as a weapon.  She’s got those arms. If she saw something like that, she’s more likely to not even register it as a weapon and here, I’m just gonna kill you with my magnificent arms. She’s used to being physically stronger than most humans she encounters, and what’s she gonna do with a scarf when a Clicker shows up, throw it at them? Thing wouldn’t even make any noise, what’s the point?

Peggy’s similar to Ellie as far as their lack of brute strength. Both are more reliant on speed to make up for that, and size, to a certain extent. And Abby had trouble with Ellie in the theater. She clearly won, but you had Dina and Lev in on that fight too, which made a difference. The second fight, while one on one, you can’t really judge based on that because both characters were way below 100%, but especially Abby. So it’s not really a fair comparison but pretending it was…Abby clearly had trouble there too. She would’ve lost if Ellie hadn’t, you know, stopped being a fucking idiot at the last minute (I say with love because Ellie my sweet, demented murder child, you’re doing amazing sweetie). Now, if Abby hadn’t been all emaciated and tortured and generally jacked the hell up during that fight, she would’ve beaten Ellie, I believe, but Ellie wouldn’t have made it easy on her. And if you take away Ellie’s trusty knife and just go hand to hand, I’d argue Peggy is definitely the better fighter hand to hand between those two, no question. So if Peggy could definitely beat Ellie hand to hand, and Ellie in any scenario would at least give Abby trouble, at least give her pause, then Peggy could definitely win, under certain conditions.

Can you tell I’m not actually any good at these/don’t watch enough of those who would win analysis vids on Youtube? Yeah, you can tell.

Anyway, if there’s just a completely empty room and Abby gets her hands on Peggy and gets leverage that Peggy can’t break out of? Abby wins. But if there’s stuff around, then Peggy’s got a better chance because she’ll turn anything into a weapon, where Abby would be more likely to use mostly her strength, which is what most of the guys Peggy fights hand to hand end up doing, and they have a tendency to lose. So, depends on circumstances.

BUT, could Abby fight with such perfectly choreographed timing that matches the ‘40’s era Peggy Lee hit that’s playing in the background while she kicks ass? No, no she could not. Could Abby lift Thor's hammer? No, no she could not, and Peggy definitely could, change my mind.

Lev could definitely lift the hammer though, just saying.

[mettywiththenotes]

Sudden Shouji brainrot time!

Been thinking about his reason to become a Hero, and part of me wonders if his reason is the same as Spinner’s - to change the system

But I guess, in a different way. Spinner seems to want (or wanted, considering that he’s focused on Shiggy now) to make a statement, or just target the system in one way or another

Shouji, however, seems to want to change something within the system. By correcting, or doing little things to care for other heteromorphs who may have gone through discrimination in the times they’re in. He’s had quite a bit of focus with other heteromorphs anyway

And this moment here

It’s to be noted that this is during a scene where everybody else is saying goodbye to their loved ones, family and such, but Shouji is here shaking hands with a heteromorph he’s likely only just met in the course of 3 days (I’m assuming it’s been 3 days anyway)

This tells me that Shouji is shown with her because he got to know her, as in he made an effort to walk up and ask how she is, how she’s handling herself, if she has any support etc. This would show how easily Shouji can connect with other heteromorphs, treating her like family or naturally helping her as much as possible, offering his own support

It’s the way, really, that he’s been shown with other heteromorphs just as naturally as other non-mutants, though I don’t think we’ve ever seen scenes like this before with other civilians. I don’t even think we’ve seen scenes like this before with other heteromorph classmates - but these have been shown twice now and it makes me think that Shouji is a very For The People guy. Or that his reason for being a Hero is very For The People

And this would actually be a difference being made. I don’t quite know how society handles heteromorphs, the specifics I mean, but from what we know, heteromorphs still aren’t as equal as they would like to be. And I imagine that society isn’t as forward about it as others would like them to be (especially considering the children’s book that seems to just be ignored sometimes)

So there’s society, not being as forward with addressing heteromorph problems, not doing what they should to correct those changes, small or large, to benefit mutants...

And then in comes Shouji, who is so kind, so accepting of people, who walks up to other heteromorphs and accepts their help (the umbrella), or who offers his own hand to other heteromorphs he barely knows (heteromorph lady), who even seemed to correct All Might about everyone in the League

It’s almost like Shouji is... a sort of quiet support. Gently correcting, quietly offering his hand, saying kind words. I see it as a way of committing himself to naturally changing the atmosphere, instead of making a big statement

When I think about Shouji’s reason to be a Hero, though it hasn’t been stated yet, I think about how much he’s just. there for people, a quiet support. He doesn’t have to say “I’m there for you” to let you know he’s there for you, yknow?

But it’s not like he didn’t say anything when All Might only mentioned everyone but Spinner. He just corrected him, saying “well thats probably not everyone” and seemed to leave it at that

I really do hope we’ll get more on Shouji, and by the looks of whats been happening in the background (plus what Hori has said in interviews), I think we will at some point. And I can’t wait until then, cuz I really wanna know more about him

I mean, this is only based off like 3 scenes with Shouji, all of which are quite small so it may be overthinking on my part lol. But this is what I get from him anyway - he just seems like an overall supportive guy, kind and accepting

[deanwasalwaysbi]

I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network: 

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler,  (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward.  Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard.  But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9  - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x)  [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line?  This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel   (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there - 

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.”  [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?”  Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it.  So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship.  It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)

[cooloddball]

Someone submitted something in my inbox and they wanted to remain anonymous. Since this is an extremely long essay, I will put it under the cut. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

xxx submitted: hey, i was the one who ask what do you think of Misha and Jensen's current relationship First off all thank you for your answear it means much to me cause im easy to be convice and this person who keep telling me that they are no longer friends can be so convicing, so I'm actully trying to forget what she said 😅 so I'm just writing a few. she said that since they no longer work together, they will forget about each other, and do their common things like the gay jokes, face touches ect. With other people, and neglect each other, don't talk to each other, and then meet new people who will replace the other. And and she talked about the gish thing, she said she sure they didn't talk since the end of the series, because Jensen didn't know where Misha was and Misha didn't know about the Radio Company vol 2 (but i saw people say that, they were just pretending, because Misha liked something about Radio Company Vol 2, before the gish live, so in theory he already knew then or something like that) and She said Misha wrote a poem about Darius not Jensen and now I will write down what she sent me : I saw a post about Jensen's current activities on social media, and I've come to the conclusion the only person he doesn't interact with is mish. Sadly this makes my break up theory even stronger. I feel like this is a goodbye to one of the biggest parts of my life. They've moved on from "uk what I haven't told you today? That i love u"+ from "miss my only jensen" from "i love u misha i mean it from the bottom of my heart" from "jensen has no flaws" from "misha is the funniest thing ever happened to me" from all that love and affection from everything they developed together and now they're apart leaving their lives like nothing happened and call me a dramatic but they both have the same energy now as someone has after a big break up. and Jensen comments on almost every of his friend’s post except Misha’s"+ Jenmish is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I owe them literally everything. They're the reason i hold on. Unfortunately on this essay i have to start using past tense verbs for them, and i have to continue on that. I don't know for how long y'all been in spn fandom. But even if u joined one year before the show ended you'd know how close and intimate jensen and misha were. Everything about them was unmatched.+ The chemistry and how they just fit eachother. They had always been all over eachother. Like they were holding on eachother for dear life. They completed eachother and were like world's most powerful thing. They were the definition of soulmatism. No matter where, they ALWAYS kept interacting with eachother. Each possible tweet or insta post. On cons that the other wasn't there, the other one would bring up the othere's name for no absolute reason. +The looks and repeated love confessions. How invested they were both into eachother. The family they had built together cuz we know how close dee and mish are (look all the charity work they've been doing together recently). There are youtube videos to proof everything I've said so far.When i say break up, my real intention is that they've grown apart. Everything started in the the third or forth month of pandemic. Before than jensen used to interact +(comment mostly) on almost all of misha's posts. But after a while everything just stopped. At first personally didn't care that much. Bcuz I believed too much in them that I thought not even the gods above could separate them. I told myself maybe they spend long hours chatting or video calling and that's why online public interactions are gone. But as it passed it almost diminished to zero. Except some likes from jackles and eventual ones from misha there weren't anything else.+ We got absolutely no content and the show went off too. We were helpless and were sticking to everything we had Dee had a big social media shot down, so as jensen. Misha was busy with the election. We got some interviews for it with all of them. But we didn't get much.except remember both of them pulling a bff

move. and texted eachother during an online con where everyone else were dead-serious about politics? That flickered something in me. That showed me that+ they can't ever possibly let eachother go. And the times everyone else were talking and these too would just talk random things together (the one jackels had a white hat on with stacy abraham).And then Misha posted that for jensen's bday We really overlooked it. That shit was too intimate. To close. Fav march baby? U just don't go around and called ur bestie baby and when u mean it deeply. Especially not when ur friend is jensen ackles the "I suffered form internalized homophobia my whole life+ but fuck my wife's an angel and i have an angel bf too and another angel which is his wife but I'd rather die than come out cuz my asshole dad pulled a John winchester on me". It doesn't work like that. But uk how mish is. Carefree and open. I believe they got into a fight bcuz of this. He didn't even like the post. AND that was when the tiny bit of interactions we had was gone too. For a while jensen didn't even liked his posts. After a month it started again.What made me finally believe in that they had grown too+ far: I still remember the night misha posted that he and jensen were going to have a con for gish together. I remember how hard I cried. Lile the whole world was given to me. But deep down in my heart I knew that something would definitely happen. It didn't sit right with me and unfortunately my senses never lie to me. Jensen showed up at the wrong time bcuz of misunderstanding the time zones (this was HILARIOUS). That's not even my point.+ I've seen that interview 3 times so far. It always reminds me of when i saw my ex at a party and we were both so thrilled to see eachother and we still loved the other dearly, but we just couldn't work it out. Jensen and Misha's expressions were EXACTLY the same. The genuine smiles and longs pauses were they just stared at eachother. I'm so happy that it was online cuz if they actually gave that looks to eachother standing right next to the other one I would've collapsed. Misha didn't know that jensen's album+ was out. And he got so embarrassed when he found it out. He didn't know that jensen was on set and hadn't been home for 8weeks. Jensen had no idea where misha was. And this means that they hadn't talked in a long long time.When you're that close with someone for more than a decade, i mean THAT close, even if u're separated from eachother you'd at least check on the once a week, or at least once in two weeks. But it was vividly clear that they hadn't. I hate how this world works. They would always be in my heart.+ I would be thankful from them for everything. It hurts, and it won't stop and im so sure I'd be carrying this pain for a long time. They mean too much to a lot of us. Sometimes I think to myself that god i love them so much. Remember in 2019 when we used to get SO many jenmishdee interactions? That was LIT. It was THEE year for us. I hope they're doing good. I really do. I hope we don't get more proofs and I won't have to update this thread. Cuz my heart won't be taking it very+ well.Something i gotta add U may say that Jensen's busy and that's why he doesn't comment. But he comments on a lot of jared and his new costar's posts. So that's no excuse. So yeah that's it. I don't know what am I supposed to think. english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes

Here is my response:

I don't know who this person who has been talking to is but I have to say they seem to be project their previous relationship experience on cockles.

I believe Jensen and Misha are okay and are together. Social media likes and comments don't mean anything. I mean it's not like Jensen or Misha used to comment on each other's posts before. Jensen didn't even wish Dee Happy Mother's Day this year, does that mean they are not together anymore? Nope. He has other best friends he has known for over 20 years like Jason Manns, Steve Carlson etc that he doesn't wish happy birthday, does that mean they are not friends anymore.

Please let's not put value on social media likes. I don't even follow my own family on sm and I don't always like or comment on my bf's or bff's posts on sm. So it doesn't mean anything.

As for the Gish Panel, I have talked about it before, the time Jensen was slotted to attend the panel, he was meant to answer fan questions. I honestly believe they decided to not do it at that time because they knew the questions would be about Destiel and not their new projects. If you watched that panel, Misha knew that Jensen's album was out as I pointed out. He was just trying to promote the album and soldier boy. He knew Jensen had also buffed out. It was all to promote Jensen. Anything else you hear is trolls and antis just being loud. Also don't forget Jensen called him "babe".

If Jensen and Misha weren't okay, he wouldn't have attended or participated all those panels Misha organized especially for Gish. Danneel also posts a lot about RA and likes Misha's posts. I am 100% Misha visited the Ackles when he went to Colorado last month.

Stop listening to trolls and/or antis or just people who are projecting and look at facts.

[lovelytarou]

kiss me thru the phone — bakugo katsuki

— katsuki always calls you on the phone, making sure that it's his voice you hear when you wake and the one you'll listen to as you fall asleep.

pairing: bakugo katsuki x reader

tags: established relationship, swearing? cuz this is bakugo hehe. not proofread!!

genre: fluff, kinda angst

word count: 1.4k

a/n: 1/7 of the 200 follower event, i can just see him doing this lmao. sorry if the header doesn't look good, i tried my best (˘･_･˘) not at me saying i'll upload this yesterday night but it's already 2am here. it is what it is.

bakugo katsuki is a busy man. 

even when he was in his UA days, you always see him training by himself and excusing himself early to go study and then eventually, sleep. his friends often tease him for being a grandpa and not having time to go and have fun, but when he met you that's when he really started to let himself free and experience fun things with his friends albeit he's masking it as having “no choice but to join” under the guise of watching over his friends as to not make themselves look like idiots, but you know better. you know that when he says he doesn't care, you understand the meaning that he actually does. and deeply too.

he's just a big tsundere who cares a lot for the people he loves. 

now that he's a pro hero working his way up to the top, hectic times and cancelled dates cannot be helped. he has to always excuse himself and apologize over and over for not going to the date you both planned as promised and you always have to say that it's alright, that you understand over and over. and if anyone knew bakugo, it's that he would never settle for less. a simple ‘okay’ isn't enough for him. 

so when you woke up one morning to the ringing of your phone and the rare photo of your lover smiling instead of your cacophonous alarm, you knew it had to be one of those days where bakugo was feeling particularly soft for you.

rolling over on his side of the bed, you answered the call with a smile on your face despite him not seeing it. the warm streaks of sunlight coming through the windows illuminated your face, making you shut your eyes for a moment.

“hi, baby.” you croaked, voice scratchy and raspy upon waking.

you heard his chuckle on the other end before he greeted you as well.

“good morning, sleepyhead. it's 10am already, you should be getting your ass out of bed,” he scolded you. you rolled your eyes as you lied on your back, staring up at the ceiling while you twirled a piece of your hair like a lovestruck schoolgirl talking to your crush. 

“i know, i know. but the bed's still warm and i wanna stay in bed for a bit.” you whined, even pouting for effect that you knew he wouldn't resist. 

you heard him click his tongue in annoyance at your statement. knowing him, he's probably shaking his head in disapproval at your lazy behavior. 

“get the fuck out of bed or else your breakfast will get cold. you don't want to eat cold food, do you?" 

“wait, you made me breakfast?” you felt your stomach do flips at the thought of bakugo waking up early and even having the time and effort to cook for you. 

you heard him scoff at that, “course i did. i know your dumbass will complain about how i didn't cook you anything before i left if i didn't. so eat up, okay? i know i'm not always at home to eat with you and this is the only thing i can do to make you feel that you're not alone. and i'm sorry about that. i promise one of these days, i'll take you out for dinner, alright?” 

he can only hear sniffles and soft sobs on the other end as you nodded. 

“oi, are you crying?!”

“yes! why the hell are you so sweet? and it's too early for me to be crying like this!” you wailed, tears streaming down your face like a waterfall, trying your best to wipe them away with your night shirt. 

“i'd like that very much. you're the best, katsuki. take care and good luck at work!” 

“i know i am, babe. take care as well, don't wait up for me tonight, i'll call you.” you both bid your goodbyes with words of love before he hung up to do his hero work and for you to get ready for the day. you ate your breakfast with a smile on your face and heart feeling much fuller than your stomach with the thought of katsuki.

some days, when he's away on a mission, he'd love to call you randomly and he wouldn't even care if you're doing something or if you're busy. what he knows is that he needs to hear your voice more than anything. 

on a particularly busy and dreadful day, bakugo had called you during work and you picked it up without second thoughts, worry already clouding your mind. 

“tsuki baby!” you greeted in a joyful tone. your smile evaporated when he didn't return the sentiment.

“katsuki? are you okay? what's up, baby?” you tried to make your voice as soothing as possible, knowing that any other unwelcoming approach might set him off.

he sighed on the other end, and you can only guess what happened.

“i'm fine...just...i missed your voice,” his own had a low timbre to it, sort of a deep vulnerable tone he only let you hear when he wanted you to see his true self without the facades and the mask. 

“i'm here now, katsuki. do you wanna talk?” being a pro hero can be stressful as much as he loves it. he's also human, and he can only handle as much when faced with a lot of obstacles in life.

“yeah, that'd be nice. tell me about your day, how are you?” he might be diverting the topic towards you instead but you indulged him in his request and started to tell him about your day – from the time you wake up to the time you arrived to work.

“oh! and um, i also bumped into my old friend a while ago. they asked me about you and i told them that we should meet up someday, you know, like a double date?” 

“sure, yeah. i'd love to meet them. they seem like a cool person.” 

“they are! anyway, what about you? anything happened in there on the mission?” you waited patiently for his response which he appreciated a whole lot than what you realize. 

“it was okay. the mission was going smoothly with everyone helping and then...i just, we rescued this man and his...wife got–” he faltered, you heard him choke a sob through the phone and you can only wish you can hold him right at that moment if you weren't only miles away from each other. 

“it's okay if you don't wanna continue, tsuki. i understand this is heavy for you. i'm sorry you have to suffer through that alone. i wish i can be there for you,” in your head, you're imagining that you're comforting him and kissing his worries away as he's nuzzling into your neck. and you'd tell him that everything will be alright and that you'll always be there for him.

“i'm sorry...thank you, for staying with me and being in my life. i wouldn't know what i'd do without you, honestly. maybe be the same asshole that i was before we met,” he joked, chuckling at the fond memory that felt like ages ago today. 

“no worries, babe. you know i'm always here if you want to talk. i'll listen and you can never talk my ear off because i love listening to you sexy voice.” you teased, knowing it would make him as red as a tomato. the both of you laughed and it felt like you're together, probably at home as you lounged in the living room without worrying about anything.

“whatever. i like hearing your voice too, i guess. anyway, i gotta go in a few minutes. i'm calling again later before you sleep, make sure you don't doze off on me!” you can practically imagine the smoke coming out of his ears as he yelled at his phone.

“yes, yes, i will. i already told you i'm sorry! go kick some villain ass in there, baby. i'll be waiting for you back home.” 

“good. goodbye, i miss you. stay safe and always lock your door and the windows! don't stay up too late or i'll swim there to make you sleep myself–”

before he went on a tangent about his usual scoldings you told him that you still had work to do and he can save them for later, but you felt warm inside knowing this is how he tells you he loves you without really saying them. time and distance may keep you away from each other, but your love can travel through great distances and defy all odds. 

Taglist: @chibishae34

[simpingforsoftboys]

The Odds of Us All

Chapter 2 Pt 5/5: Food & Tea- But Not The Drink Kind

It was finally lunch time, Y/n was more than ready to leave her classroom and head to the twins class. Saying goodbye to some of her new friends, she departed from class 2-5 and headed down the hallway to class 2-3. While she was in college prep, the twins and Suna were in the other classes below her. The girl didn’t hold it against them, some people were made for different fields- academics didn’t define anything besides a persons academic intelligence. 

Several people stared after her as she walked, everyone was intrigued with the new transfer student who was the soulmate of Itachiyama’s star ace and the cousin of Shiratorizawa’s famous Ushiwaka. It got on her nerves at first but she got used to the attention eventually. If she was rude to her “fans” then it’d look bad on Sakusa and Wakatoshi.

“Ushijima-san!” Someone called after her, stopping her in her tracks, Y/n turned and looked over at the person. It was a first year from class 1-2, if she remembered correctly he was in her “fan club.” (Honestly she was a little flattered at how fast she gained a following here, back at Nekoma it took her a whole two weeks before some classmates formed one for her.) “I was wondering if you would be willing to accept this... I made it just for you!” She was about to thank him for the horribly wrapped bento, when someone decided to stop her. 

“Y/n.” Suna said from across the hallway, phone in hand, “come on we’re eating outside.” He gave the first year a deadpan, daring him to speak, Y/n smiled apologetically at him, thanking him for the bento and accepting it. The first year hurried away, but not without a pleased blush coating his cheeks. “Told you- you’re Ms. Popular.”

“Maybe... but it doesn’t really matter.” Y/n replied, tucking the bento into her satchel. “It’s always been this way, but not for the reasons you might think.” Seeing her soulmates inquisitive gaze she continued. “I mean maybe they start genuinely liking me eventually, but initially they follow me around and try to befriend me in an effort to know about all the drama in my life. Having a famous cousin and soulmate does that to you. Oh- but I’m sure you deal with it too- I mean you and the twins are famous on the volleyball scene for a reason.”

Suna hummed noncommittally, pocketing his phone and shoving his hands in his pockets with it. “I get it- people only want to get to know me cuz of the twins or my looks... but I don’t really pay attention to them... neither do Atsumu or Osamu.” He gave her a side glance. “You shouldn’t either, people like that just aren’t worth the energy.” 

“You make a good point Suna- but I can’t. I got to make a good impression for them. Oh wow, Inarizaki sure has everything doesn’t it?” They were in the schools private garden, it was a large plot of land- with rows or fresh vegetables and countless beds of flowers- Y/n could even spot several wisteria trees. “I think it’s even prettier than Itachiyama’s greenhouse.”

“Itachiyama? I thought ya went to Nekoma.” Atsumu asked, popping up in front of her. Osamu walked over to them, they had just arrived too. 

Y/n nodded, “Hi Atsumu, Osamu; I did, but I was initially planning on going to Itachiyama- I toured the campus, passed the entrance exams and everything too. But my friends went to Nekoma so I followed.” Osamu said ‘hi’ in response.

“Interesting.” Atsumu said, his mischievous smirk never leaving his face. “Hey follow me will ya?” He grabbed her hand gently, leading her to a round, stone picnic table below the wisteria trees, leaving Osamu and Suna to trail after them. 

“There he goes.” Suna whispered, earning a sigh in response from the gray haired twin. “So touchy... surprised no one reported him for harassment yet.”

“I’d thank 'em if they did.” Osamu huffed with an eye roll. “Maybe then he would learn ta keep his hands ta himself.” The four of them settled at the table, Atsumu on Y/n’s left, Osamu to her right, and Suna in front of her. 

“Y/n got a bento from a first year earlier.” The brunette gossiped (but in his weird deadpan way), he hid a grin at the matching scowls the twins wore. “Hey Y/n what did you think of him?” 

“He was sweet.” She pulled the bento out and plopped it on the table. “But I’m not going to eat it- he’s still a stranger and I’m not the type to eat food from just anyone.” She didn’t notice the glances the three shared at her words.

“What if I made it?” The younger Miya muttered, staring at the h/c (hair color) girl. Atsumu did his best to hide his snort- meanwhile Suna subtly recorded the moment. 

“Oh? Well you’re not just anyone are you?” Her words seemed flirtatious, but in actuality she was just being genuinely blunt. “I wouldn’t mind if it were you.” Let’s just say Suna was very glad he was recording- because the pink hue that overtook Osamu’s cheeks was HILARIOUS. 

“Good, cuz I made ya some f/f (favorite food).” Osamu pulled an expertly wrapped bento from his bag and placed it in front of Y/n, who looked pleasantly surprised at his kind gesture. 

“Look at him flirtin- almost as good as me. I’m so proud.” Atsumu grinned, not the least bit jealous (shockingly). “Never thought I’d see the day.” 

“Not you getting a big head over this.” Suna teased, earning himself a mean scowl. “If it were you, Y/n would have said no... maybe even eaten that first years bento instead.” 

“Ya know I’m startin to think ya spend too much time with ‘Samu.”

“Heh.”

Y/n took a bite of the food, meanwhile Osamu watched her from the corner of his eye- pretending to be occupied with his own serving of f/f. Her e/c orbs widened as her tastebuds registered the burst of flavor that was overtaking them. The entire dish was seasoned to the point of near perfection- of course there was some fault, but that was probably due to Osamu’s inexperience with this specific food. Even if it wasn’t a first for him, this was still some of the best damn f/f she had ever tasted. It was tempting to scarf it all down at once, but she forced herself to savor the taste. 

“So... how is it?” All eyes were on her, each of them eager to see what she thought of Osamu’s cooking. 

“You cooked this by yourself?” She questioned, swiveling to the right to look at the younger twin. Osamu nodded, fidgeting ever so slightly.

“Yeah... m’sorry if it’s not that good- was my first attempt at makin’ f/f.” 

Shaking her head and placing her chopsticks down, Y/n smiled at him cheerily. “When you told me you could cook I was expecting something like a simple tamagoyaki- but this is what it’s like when you’re just experimenting? Miya Osamu you are seriously talented- this is some of the best f/f I’ve had in a long while- and I eat this a lot.” 

“Thanks so much, means a lot-” Osamu began, a small, genuine smile slipping on his face.

“IDHOISA Y/n yer so cute! Can’t believe I thought ya were a total jerk on Twitter-” 

“How tf did he say that out loud?” Suna wondered, referring to the verbal version of a keyboard smash.

“NO I WAS HOPING YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT TWEET.” Y/n screeched, appalled at the expected- but completely unwelcome- news.

“Pfftt-” The brunette snorted at her expense.

“TSUMU YA RUINED THE MOMENT YA ASSHOLE!”

“OW- THE HELL? YA WANNA FIGHT SAMU?”

To put it simply it was pure chaos, their chances at a peaceful lunch completely dashed. For the rest of the lunch break the twins argued, meanwhile Suna live streamed their idiocy, and Y/n enjoyed the chaos while simultaneously savoring her delicious meal...

Facts/Trivia

Y/n was actually pretty popular in Nekoma- but it took a good two weeks before she had her own fan club

So majority of her fan club actually liked her for who she was as a person and not because of her cousin

Her new Inarizaki fanclub is not like her Nekoma one

This club was only formed because people want to get to know her in order to meet Sakusa and Wakatoshi

Some people like first year kun are apart of it because they think she’s attractive

Yes some girls left Atsumu’s fanclub in order to simp for Y/n

Atsumu may not care for his fans but he does like the attention 💀

Any peace between the twins is ruined because Atsumu can’t stfu

Osamu and Atsumu are actually pretty good at sharing and not getting jealous over partners

Suna never helps stop fights

Good thing Y/n’s here now

Fyi the ramen incident is filed on Osamu’s highschool record 😭

It took all of Atsumu’s willpower to not ask Y/n to be their manager when she talked about cheering for him

Series Masterlist

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Taglist: @kac-chowsballs @kotwd @ems1des @normalisthenewnorm @micheleinumaki @gomchan @empress-simps @mer-der-mi @honeyswhiskers @astronomyturtle @sakusas-number1-stan @akirahyoshi @chibiitakoyaki

*send ASK to be added; BOLD means I’m unable to tag you

[ssa-babygirl]

Out of my League [Part 6]

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Single mom!Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: JJ gives you some bad news and Spencer feels like he’s only making matters worse. For both of you.

Warning(s): Angst, mentions of grief and death, allusions to relapse, swearing, mentions of drinking, this is lowkey a mess so i may have missed a couple of warnings

Author’s Note: IT’S HERE!!!! YAY!!! that’s the happiest you’re gonna be all chapter. The next one may take a bit of time and i am SORRY for that because this may or may not have a sorta cliffhanger you should just read it to find out!! also heads up there are a lot of perspective changes later on please just imagine how it would be cut together in a movie that’s how i wrote it OK ENJOY DON’T BE MAD JUST TRUST ME OK??

[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]

Washington, D.C., 2011

(Reader POV)

You’d gone to three different funerals since moving to D.C. Three more than you would have liked, obviously, no one ever really wants to go to a funeral.

The first had been your father’s. You had Jamie and your mom, but you needed Spencer. He was out on a case and you couldn’t blame him for not being there, but he made up for it a million times over. Your dad’s death wasn’t unexpected, and while it hurt to say goodbye, it was relatively easy to move on.

The second had been for Aaron’s ex-wife, Haley. You didn’t really know her, but Aaron was your friend and you wanted to support him. That and Jamie got along very well with Jack, acting almost as an older cousin, and you know how important family is when you lose a parent.

The third and most recent funeral was the worst one: Emily’s. She was there one day, raring to go and take on the world, gone the next. 

The day you found out was just terrible. JJ had called you herself to tell you. You managed to stay calm until you hung up, when you practically threw your phone onto the kitchen table and collapsed into a chair, tears pouring down your face as silent sobs wracked your body.

Jamie ran in at the sound of you crying, “Mom? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You shook your head, unable to speak. Jamie wordlessly wrapped his arms around your shoulders and held you as you struggled to regain your voice. When you could finally breathe and relay the news you just received, you choked out, “Aunt Emily died last night.”

Then Jamie started crying too. He curled up into your shoulder and sobbed into your shirt, soaking you to the skin, almost like he was little again. You crumbled at the sound of his whines and cries. Every part of your chest ached with the weight of your grief. 

“What happened to her?” He finally whimpered.

“She has a dangerous job,” You didn’t even notice the tense you used, “A bad man was after her.”

“Well, is everyone else okay? What about Uncle Derek? What about Doc—”

“Everyone else is fine, baby, no one else was hurt. Doc’s fine.”

You sat still for God knows how long, silent, clutching each other like a lifeline, praying this was all just a dream and that you’d get a call from Emily telling you it was all some sick joke. Of course, you’d be furious with JJ, but at least there wouldn’t be a hole in your family where Emily had once been. 

Your mother came over to help you cook, the same role you had taken years prior while your father was sick. She consoled you and Jamie for the next two days and then drove you to the funeral. You got out of the car and walked in silence to the church, clutching Jamie’s hand as you entered. 

Aaron was the first at the door. He wasn’t one for hugs, but when he saw you, exhausted and barely standing, he pulled you and Jamie in tight. The hug was brief, but it helped, God, did it help. Dave was just behind him, and he didn’t hesitate. He ruffled Jamie’s hair and gave you a kiss on both cheeks. JJ was holding Henry in the corner, and Will gave you a weak smile. Derek and Penelope were holding one another, both shaking as they cried. Your grip on Jamie’s hand grew tighter, tighter, tighter until you saw him.

You then dropped Jamie’s hand as you ran over, arms open wide as your son followed close behind, “Spence--”

He returned your hug instantly, burying his face in your hair, “I’m sorry I didn’t call--”

You felt Jamie join the hug, but you kept your head buried in Spencer’s chest, “No, I’m sorry too, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Me neither.” He pulled away, wiping away some tears and sniffling, “I’ve just been holed up in my room reading Vonnegut all for the past three days.”

Of course, “What books?”

“Mostly Slaughterhouse-Five, it was her--”

“Her favorite,” You nodded as you spoke the last part in unison with him.

“Yeah. I read it out loud just…” His voice cracked and the words looked painful to get out, “Just in case she could hear me.”

Your heart broke imagining him wrapped in blankets, eyes rimmed red as they glazed over the worn-out pages. You ached at the thought of his voice cracking just as it did before as he read for hours and hours, begging the universe to let Emily hear him, “She did. And she loved it.”

“I just hope she didn’t realize I was crying,” he muttered, and it shattered you, “She wouldn’t want us to cry for her.”

“You’re right, but I know she’d be unbelievably offended if we didn’t cry just a little bit,” Spencer’s tearful smile was enough to make you feel slightly better. There was still hope.

Your mom took Jamie home after the wake, knowing that you needed time with the team to feel like a person again. You went home with Spencer. He shouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

“You’re really good at taking care of me,” he smiled weakly, sipping the tea you made for him.

“Yeah, I had a good teacher.” Your mother was always there when you lost someone. You had your ups and downs, but she was a good mom.

“Does it get easier? Losing someone?”

“No. It always hurts just as bad,” you sigh, “But moving on used to be a lot harder.”

“Do you still miss him?”

“Of course I do, but less than I used to.” You still talked to your dad sometimes, something you did as a kid when he wasn’t home, just telling him about your day or narrating what you were doing. Even after all these years, you still found yourself explaining to no one that you had to run to store and buy bread to make Jamie’s lunch.

“I see little pieces of him everywhere I go. Jamie has the same exact smile. His favorite book when he was little was the same one my dad read to me. No one ever really leaves. Family, friends, they stick with us.”

“I’ve never lost a friend before. When Gideon left, I knew he was out there. Same with Elle. I could have Garcia find them right now and call them up to see how they’re doing, but Emily--” his voice cracked too much for him to want to continue, so he dropped it altogether.

“Did I ever tell you about my college roommate, Juliet?”

“No.”

“We were best friends. We did everything together: Movie nights, parties, all that. The night of our last final senior year, we decided to go clubbing to celebrate.”

You told him the whole story. The drinking, the dancing, the guy. You don’t remember his name, but you remember trusting him. He was sweet and Juliet liked him, so when she came to you at the bar after dancing with him telling you she was going home with him, you let her.

“I was happy for her! She had just gone through a breakup a few months before, so it was nice to see her getting some,” you let out a weak laugh, “I remember the last thing I said before she left was ‘Okay, have fun, call me in the morning, we’ll get brunch. I love you.’” Spencer winced, almost as if he knew where this story was going. Given his line of work, he was expecting far worse, but he at least knew that we didn’t get lunch the next morning.

“I went home a little bit later, I got bored, so I got a taxi home.”

You close your eyes and sigh deeply, “I’m in the back seat when I get a call. It was Juliet’s phone.”

“She wasn’t calling you, was she?”

“No, it was the police. Juliet didn’t have a good relationship with her parents, so I was her emergency contact.” You had to plan the funeral, invite her parents, look them in the eye and lie to them that Juliet wanted to make amends with them. The horrified guilt on their faces almost made it worth it, “The car she was in got t-boned when the guy ran a red light. He wasn’t as sober as we thought he was.”

“She didn’t make it.” Spencer guessed for you.

“No. She was dead before they got her out of the ambulance.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. If Juliet hadn’t…” You still couldn’t bring yourself to actually say it, “I wouldn’t have moved home, I wouldn’t have gotten back with Kyle, and I wouldn’t have Jamie. I don’t wanna tell you that something good will come out of this, because that’s a horrible thing to hear, but looking for an opportunity to find something good can’t hurt.”

“I can’t just look for something new when all i can think about is how I should have been able to help!”

“You really think I didn’t blame myself for what happened to Juliet? That every night for years after I thought I could have done something differently, and sure, I could have, but it’s not like I knew what was going to happen, and I couldn’t keep blaming myself.”

“It’s not the same, you don’t get it.” His fingers ghosted over old scars on his forearms, scars you didn’t want to think about where they came from.

“I do, Spencer. Emily was my friend too. And because she was my friend, I know she would never let you blame yourself for it. She knows you can’t save them all. All we can do is save ourselves,” you took his hand in yours, he still tensed up, “‘cuz that’s all the people we lose want us to do.”

He turned his head up from the floor and met your eyes. Once you gazed into those deep hazel irises, the tension in his hand melted away. His shoulders slumped, and he let out a deep breath, squeezing your hand like a lifeline, “Thank you.”

“Of course, Spence.”

“I’m sorry for snapping.”

“You apologize too much.” You had nearly forgotten exactly what he said to you that night in the hotel bar in Vegas all those years ago, but clearly, he hadn’t, he couldn’t, and he didn’t, because after a few moments of staring into your eyes and slowly drifting towards you in peaceful silence, he closed the gap between you both and kissed you.

Spencer Reid was kissing you.

This was happening.

Nearly two decades of being friends--

Years of being totally, ridiculously, and most importantly, cluelessly in love with each other, Spencer Reid was kissing you. You were almost so overjoyed at that moment as you started to kiss him back that you nearly forgot that your friend was dead and you were supposed to be comforting him. This wasn’t comfort, this was what Kyle did to you all those years ago.

You broke the kiss before he did something he’d regret, “Spence…”

“Oh my god,” he removed his hands from your face and shifted his entire body away from you, “I’m so sorry.” 

“No, don’t-”

“Oh my god, I’m an idiot!” He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands as his hands landed at the back of his neck, forcing his head to stare in his lap.

“No you’re not! Hey. Genius. Look at me.” He didn’t. “You’re not. You’re just in a bad place, I get it.”

“No you don’t. This time, you don’t.”

“What do you m—”

“Look, I don’t wanna kick you out but I really think you should leave.”

“Oh… yeah… sure… okay.” You slowly rose from the couch on weak knees. Whether it was from adrenaline or anxiety, you couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be! Just… please, take care of yourself?” You glance around the room for your belongings, “Shower, eat something, get some rest, please. And call me if you need anything--”

“Y/N, please, just go.”

You felt tears sting your eyes as you reached for the doorknob. You turned your head just enough to look over your shoulder to say, “Goodnight, pretty boy,” before you left. You closed the door behind you and leaned against it, breathing heavily. 

           (Spencer’s POV)

Why was I kicking her out?

Why was I telling her to leave?

Why was I pushing her away?

Why did I kiss her?

Why did she push me away?

Why did she call me “pretty boy?” She never--

The pieces fell into place as they often do, all at once with the force of a car slamming into a pole at fifty miles per hour. 

“Goodnight, Pretty Boy.”

“Goodnight, Princess.”

She remembered that night.

She remembered that night when I drove her home and put her to bed and--

And I told her I had a crush on her in high school.

And I almost said I loved her.

And I almost kissed her then.

God, I wish I had. Any time would have been better than now.

          (Reader POV)

You didn’t know you could miss someone so much while they were behind just one door. You could’ve turned around right then and knocked and waited for him to be ready to talk about what just happened. About him kissing you. About you kissing back. About you stopping him. About that drunken night when you let it slip how pretty you thought he was.

You should’ve just waited.

But you couldn’t stand to be that close to him while he wanted to be as far away from you as possible.

So you ran.

You practically sprinted down the stairs and out of his building as quickly as you could, getting in your car and pulling out of the parking lot and getting the fuck away before you hurt anyone else, including yourself.

          (Spencer POV)

I couldn’t just let her walk out like that.

I had to say something.

I had to go after her.

I had to get her back.

I needed her.

But when I opened the door, it was like she had never been there. 

I leaned on my door frame staring at the staircase down the hall, wishing I had the energy to run after her, to catch her before she reached her car, to stop her from driving away, to tell her I was sorry, to beg her to please, please, come back upstairs and talk to me, but my feet were fixed to the floor and my legs were weak. I just closed my door with my back and slid down to the floor, unable to bring myself to cry anymore. I sat there for god knows how long until I found the energy to crawl over to the coffee table where I had left my phone, picked it up, and dialed a number.

          (Reader POV)

You jumped slightly at the sound of your phone ringing, you shuffled through your bag in the passenger seat, desperately trying to find it before the light turned green. Some foolish part of your mind told you it was Spencer, you wished it was Spencer, you wanted nothing more than to turn your car around and talk it all out with him, tell him you were sorry, that you loved him, that you needed him, but your heart sank when you looked at the screen and saw the number.

It was a just fucking spam call.

You threw your phone back in your seat and beat your fists against the steering wheel, groaning and wishing the fucking light would just turn green already. When it finally did, you slammed on the gas a bit too quickly, sending the car jolting forward. You barely stopped the entire rest of the ride home, the universe must have sensed your impatience. As you finally pulled into your driveway, your skull felt as though it was packed with cotton, your tear tracks drying on your cheeks.

You raced up the steps to your door, fussing with the keys and trying to unlock the door as quickly and quietly as possible. You inevitably made noise as you entered, prompting a light to turn on in the living room. Your mom rose from the couch she had been sleeping on, her face dropping from annoyed to concerned.

“Toots, you’re home already? I thought you wouldn’t be back until morning.”

You had thought that you were fresh out of tears, but apparently, you still had more to spare, seeing as you broke the second the words left her mouth.

“Oh my, what happened?” She raced towards you, wrapping you in a hug, “Is Spencer okay? Did something happen?”

As confused and sad as you were, you couldn’t stop the smile that had suddenly appeared on your face, “He kissed me.”

“He what?” She broke the hug, holding your face in her hands and wiping tears off of your cheeks, “Then honey, why on Earth are you here?”

          (Spencer POV)

“You kicked her out? Why?”

“Why do you think I called you, Jennifer? What do I do? How do I fix this?”

“Well, what exactly happened?”

“I freaked out, she came over, we talked, I,” I took a deep breath and braced myself for her reaction, “I kissed her—”

She almost choked on her coffee, “And you didn’t lead with that? Don’t you think that’s a little important?” 

“I was trying to avoid reliving it for as long as possible.”

“You’ve wanted this since high school, why wouldn’t you want to relive it?”

“She pulled away.” There was no anger or sadness behind my words. I don’t sound hurt as I recount the scene, “She took my hand, I kissed her, she stopped me.”

JJ’s hand brushed over my shoulder and I flinched away slightly.

“I apologized immediately, she wasn't mad or anything, I just…” I trailed off, unable to admit that I just couldn’t look at her anymore. I never thought I’d get tired of seeing her face, but I had needed her to leave. When she pulled away, all I could think about was the sound of Alexa Lisbon sneering at me as Kyle and his goons tied me to that goal post.

“She wanted to help me, and I know she did, but…”

“She couldn’t.” JJ finished my sentence.

I shook my head, “Not this time.”

“But now you want her to come back?”

“And I don’t know how to tell her that because I fucked up.”

“What did she say after you told her to leave? Did she just go?”

          (Reader POV)

“I told him not to feel bad and to take care of himself.” You hadn’t had time to tell him how much you wanted to kiss him but neither one of you was in the right state of mind for that. 

“Right, yeah, and did he say anything else?”

You winced at the memory of how his voice sounded. “He kept telling me to leave, so I just went for the door and said--”

          (Spencer POV)

“‘Goodnight, pretty boy,’” I grumbled, “That was the last thing she said.”

“Okay?”

“She never calls me Pretty Boy.” I told her the whole story. When I was done, her eyebrows were drawn together and lips were pressed together in a thin, worried line uttering, “Spence…”

“What?”

She sighed, saying nothing and smirking slightly to herself, but saying nothing.

“Jennifer.”

“She loves you, genius.”

“Then why’d she leave?”

“Because you told her to. And…” she hesitated, almost scared to say anything else. I was scared to hear it. JJ took my coffee away and dumped it down the sink, a silent indicator that I had enough and needed to go to bed.

She turned back to me and leaned over the table again, making sure I'd look her in the eyes, “She’d do anything for you.”

I just stared down on my hands on the table, unable to say another word, unable to defend myself, unable to fight anymore.

Because I knew she was right.

Taglist~~~

Lmk if you wanna be added! Some names didn’t work so if you don’t see your name as a tag just dm me a url and I’ll try to fix it

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[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 278: MOMO IN CHARGE

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan were all “SIR, THAT’S OUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SENSEI” and got really ferocious and made a very passionate attempt to blow Tomura up and it was great. It basically did nothing, but it was still great. AFO was all “COME HERE LIL BRO”, and Tomura was all “silly Sensei, you can’t just take over my mind and body just like that”, and he was very confident of this despite there really being no evidence to back it up, but okay! Gran was all “time to make the fandom mad at me” and grabbed Tomura by the collar and yelled at him about Nana a bit, and then Bakugou and Endeavor made an even MORE passionate attempt to blow up Tomura, which may or may not have done some actual damage. The chapter ended with Gigantomachia battling Mt. Lady, just kinda out of the blue, which is FINE, but she had better be all right, though!

Today on BnHA: Everyone is all “WAUGHH IT’S GIGANTOMACHIA” and running around freaking out about it. The U.A. alums all kick some ass, and pretty much everyone else not from U.A. does jack fucking shit. Mt. Lady, who I plan on naming all of my future children after, does her best to stop Machia but he keeps flinging her aside. Kamui Woods is all “here I come with Midnight to put Gigantomachia to sleep!” and is PROMPTLY FUCKING MURDERED!? by Dabi because he’s a flammable tree man, and so Midnight falls all the way to the ground and is badly injured. So then she’s all “well I better call the most competent person I can think of to fix this mess” and dials up YAOYOROZU FUCKING MOMO, who proceeds to take charge LIKE THE BOSS SHE IS, and mobilizes the rest of the kids. And honestly I have more faith in them than in any of the adults at this point, so yeah, you know what? Let’s do this.

so I am possibly a bit spoiled on this chapter because I did a “top five predictions” post earlier this week, and someone replied to that yesterday on Thursday saying that they were mostly correct. I don’t know exactly how close to the mark I was though, and in any case most of the predictions were just “so-and-so shows up, probably”, so it’s not too bad. we’ll see how it goes!

OH THANK GOD MY BABIES ARE SAFE

I mean, CLEARLY they’re all about to be in horrible danger, seeing as Jirou is about to inform them of the whole “THE BIG GUY EVERYONE WAS AFRAID ABOUT WAKING UP WOKE UP” thing, but in the meantime at least Kami and Toadette and Honenuki made it back to the group safely

also Kaminari’s use of “Jirou-Jack” here is fucking inspired and I want him to teach a class on nicknames. isn’t he the one who coined “Yaomomo” as well? this boy has a gift and it needs to be appreciated

so Jirou is all “SOMETHING REALLY BIG IS COMING”, and actually she says “INSANELY HUGE”, which if anything is still an understatement, hard as it is to believe

WOW

“A BAD GUY IS HEADING THIS WAY?? SOUNDS LIKE IT’S TIME TO ABANDON THE CHILDREN IN THE WOODS” kjlfakh okay you know what?? fine!! you weren’t even going to do anything anyway so let’s not pretend!!

holy shit it’s like Mt. Lady isn’t even there

look at those speed lines!! goddamn. I just felt this huge rush of empathy for Mt. Lady though. like can you imagine growing up with this super-destructive quirk, and managing to become a hero with it against all odds, and having to put up with the manga making fun of you all the time just because sometimes you have a tendency to DESTROY A LOT OF STUFF, but it’s not like you can help it!! but the upside has always been that when your quirk is on, you are fucking UNSTOPPABLE though. so even though it’s been a hell of a rough ride for you, it’s worth it because you’re a complete badass and the number of people who can beat you out in terms of sheer physical strength is probably in the single digits. and you’re working really hard too, and lately you’ve been moving up through the ranks and actually becoming a damn fine hero if I do say so myself (and I do), and it’s like, about time though?? like finally, finally it is all starting to come together for you. and then this snarling trashrock person suddenly comes stampeding along and you put your all into trying to stop him, and it doesn’t even do a damn thing. like, holy shit. that’s just not fucking fair and YOU DESERVE BETTER, MT. LADY

anyway so she’s still hanging in there for now though so let’s check in with our villain squad riding on his back

lmaooo they’re all “I don’t even understand what is going on here”

YOU GUYS, THIS IMPLIES THAT THEY WERE ALL PLUCKED OFF THE GROUND BY THE SCRUFFS OF THEIR NECKS AND THEY HAD ABSOLUTELY NO SAY IN THE MATTER OMG. like I’m picturing Spinner being held by his cape pinched in between Machia’s thumb and forefinger, and awkwardly trying to lecture him like a mom with his hands on his hips all, “BAD GIGANTOMACHIA! NO! NOOOUAGH -- !” and cutting off with a yelp as he’s dropped onto his back

and I am glad they got Toga some clothes! I like to think Gigantomachia grabbed those for her as well. so thoughtful

wow Skeptic actually wants to go back to Re-Destro??

color me legit impressed. I underestimated your loyalty my dude. and let me also just take this moment to extend my gratitude toward Horikoshi for leaving the rest of the MLA out of it because good fucking riddance to them, goodbye forever hopefully!!

I guess they’ll be needing Skeptic’s quirk down the line for some reason? maybe he is meant to be like a new, less out-of-control Twice. smdh y’all out here trying to replace your dead buddy like a pet goldfish

who is this “they” Dabi is referring to

do you mean the heroes? lol yeah I guess they’re pretty distracted by the literal fucking kaijuu you’re currently piggybacking on

SIGH

“the Jakku team must’ve made a mistake” BOY, I’LL SAY. you know what, don’t even talk to me about that yet. it’s still too fresh. suffice it to say that your suspicions are correct and things in Jakku are not very daijobu right about now

anyway here’s a closeup of this bubble person just cuz

they are everything and I want them to be my friend. also there’s a squid person a few paces behind them who can probably do anything a squid can do. or they might actually be a shark person, actually. I don’t know. either way I love them

GETEN PLEASE GO AWAY

WE ARE PHASING OUT THE MLA!! MOVING FORWARD IT’S ORIGINAL LOV ONLY!! I’M SORRY BUT YOU DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT. we already have an ice character so shoo

OH DAMN MY MAN CEMENTOSS HAS HAD ENOUGH OF HIS NONSENSE TOO AHHHH YESS

1) hey so Cementoss is legit terrifying who’d’ve thought

and 2), did Cementoss always have a mouthful of gigantic perfect teeth each the size of a slice of bread, or is this just something I’m only noticing now because I’m behind the curve. either way, let me just say sincerely, DKJDLKFJLSKJG

RE-DESTRO YOU GO AWAY TOO!!

@waywardfacegarden​ you asked the other day which are the characters I actually dislike, and this is one of them lol. he’s just a big ol’ prick, and on top of that has the audacity to not even be interesting in any way so as to balance it out. anyway so apologies to any Re-Destro stans out there but I basically spend every panel he’s in hoping that someone will punch him in the face hard enough to finally make him shut up

anyway so my man Edgeshot is here though, finally!! but of all the people for him to fight! this is a real predicament for me. the most soothing character in the series contrasted with the character who grates my nerves the most. Edgeshot’s sexy ASMR voice is gonna be drowned out by all of RD’s punching and self-important ranting in the anime and I’m lowkey devastated but I’m gonna pull myself together and read on

SPEAKING OF SELF-IMPORTANT RANTING

Edge, if you can liberate us from having to put up with his insufferable ass once and for all I will be so grateful to you. can you do this. please. for me

and it looks like some other boring MLA villains are following along behind Machia so I’m gonna need someone to kick their asses as well. please

-- YESSSSSS

okay so now I see what that comment on my prediction post was referring to lol. I did indeed have my fingers crossed that these two would show up again, and sure enough! THE GANG’S ALL HERE YAY

and Mt. Lady is being sumoed aside!

anyone want tonight’s lotto numbers. during this brief fleeting moment of having my predictions be actually credible, I would just like to say that Hagakure is the U.A. traitor. thank you and goodnight

OH NO KAMUI IS WORRIED

HE LOOKS SO PANICKED?? OUT OF THE BLUE I SHIP IT SO MUCH?? I keep forgetting they’re on the same team and stuff and wow, I need to calm down

LOL MIDNIGHT IS ALL “NO TIME FOR SHIPS!!”

I wonder if her quirk will actually be enough to take him down? this is something I’ve been itching to see for a long time, actually. just how powerful is she? we know her quirk is more effective on males than females, but is anyone actually capable of resisting it? imagine if she really did just knock Gigantomachia out after all of this buildup. that would be some god-tier shit omg, DO IT

(ETA: I am just going to assume that since Horikoshi had to go to elaborate lengths to take her out of the fight, this means that her quirk really was capable of knocking them all out. another tragic case of Too Badass For The Plot. y’all better respect Midnight.)

YESSSSSSSS

is she stripping. you know what -- don’t think about it. I won’t let you ruin this for me Horikoshi. Midnight’s gonna be a badass because the ladies are fucking ruling this arc and that’s all there is to it

NOOOOOO

DABI GET BACK HERE I JUST WANT TO TALK!!

oh thank god, she’s all right. BUT KAMUI ISN’T THOUGH DLKJSFLKSJDG??!

did Kamui Woods just... die

(ETA: okay but for real, is there an actual curse in effect on the Billboard Top Ten right now, though?? did one of them accidentally disturb the tomb of some ancient king??)

...

( ･ั﹏･ั)

oH MY GOD!?!

NOOOOOOO WHY ARE YOU SO QUICK TO SLEEP ON MAJESTIC, LET’S SEE IF THEY CAN DO IT!! GIVE US MAJESTIC GOD DAMMIT

(ETA: Horikoshi is seriously just yanking our chain at this point. when Majestic finally does show up, he or she better have the coolest fucking quirk of all time, that’s all I’m saying.)

okay how badly injured is Midnight here, though?? she just fell all that way?? DO I NEED TO BE REALLY MAD. I CAN WORK MY WAY UP TO IT PRETTY QUICKLY, JUST SAY THE WORD. I’M ALREADY HALFWAY THERE HONESTLY. WHERE’S KAMUI WOODS

!!!!!!!!!!!

AND JUST LIKE THAT MY ANGER EVAPORATES INTO THE NIGHT, YESSSSSSSSS!! MOMOOOOO

holy shit. “a quirk that can stop that thing,” she says. and goes and calls YAOYOROZU FUCKING MOMO y’all I am barely holding myself back from SCREAMING right now I...

you guys

you guys. if Midnight and Yaomomo team up to take down Gigantofuckingmachia using some sort of MOMO MADE A MACHINE TO SPREAD MIDNIGHT’S QUIRK strategy, or whatnot?? I will fucking die on the spot. you can end the manga right there. Kacchan you can keep your quirk I don’t even care

“IT MIGHT BE AGAINST THE LAW” lmaooooo insert John Mulaney “WE’RE WELL PAST THAT” gif here. holy shit. listen, that is fine. if anything it’s even better

WHAT THE FUCK

DO I NEED TO START GETTING REALLY MAD AGAIN!?!?! FUCKING WHIPLASH, IS WHAT THIS IS, BUT YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT SORT OF OVER-THE-TOP REACTION IS NEEDED HERE AND I’LL GO FOR IT

(((( ;°Д°))))

[GRABS HORIKOSHI BY THE COLLAR] listen, you. if you only just now, for the first time ever, gave us a lady hero actually mentoring another lady hero, which we have somehow NEVER HAD BEFORE in almost three hundred chapters, only for you to then KILL OFF THE MENTOR IN THE MIDDLE OF HER GODDAMN SPEECH TO THE MENTOREE, I will... there’s... I’ll... okay, listen. DON’T. THERE WILL BE A RECKONING. CAPSLOCK SUCH AS THIS WORLD HAS NEVER WITNESSED!!

ヽ(#ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ┌��

I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO REACT TO ANYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER AND I’M LOSING MY MIND OVER IT

so the other kids are all “what the fuck” and “so Momo’s in charge??” which, YES!!! IT’S THE ONE GOOD PART ABOUT ALL THIS SO DON’T YOU DARE QUESTION IT

MOMO NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE CRIPPLED BY YOUR ANXIETY, YOU CAN DO THIS GIRL I BELIEVE IN YOU

hell, it’s not even just an “I believe in you” thing, because it’s not just belief, it’s fact. you motherfucking can do this, you are the most capable and brilliant student in 1-A, you just gotta have faith and let yourself shine!!

so now there are some more panels of Machia running and the villains and heroes fighting, blah blah blah. and Momo screwing up her face as she makes her decision...

YESSSSSSSSS

my baby girl is all grown up and TAKING THESE MOTHERFUCKIN REINS and MOMO I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU JUST SAY THE WORD!!

lol she’s all “Jirou use your ears and scientifically calculate how long it’ll take him to get here”, and Jirou is all “I can literally fucking see him, he’s gonna be on top of us in like two seconds” WELL OKAY THEN

thank god there are no adult pros left to fuck this up. is that weird that this is a real and honest and completely sincere thought that just ran through my head? like, at this point if any of the adults were around I’d just be afraid of them dying honestly. but with the kids I actually feel real hope that they’re somehow gonna do this. of course it helps that unlike the adults they’re pretty safe from being killed off

also! way to represent the entirety of class 1-B there Honenuki lulz. sorry, The Rest of Class 1-B

OH MY GOD

MT. LADY I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU AS WELL!! YOU HAVE MY LOVE AND FEALTY!!

I’M STANNING HER SO HARD I’M GONNA EXPLODE SOMEBODY HELP!?!

JIROU SAYS THAT MACHIA HAS SLOWED DOWN!! YOU GUYS I’M ABOUT TO GET “MT. LADY FOR PRESIDENT” TATTOOED ACROSS MY FOREHEAD

lmao at Shouji using his power of “putting some extra eyeballs on my arms” to inform everyone that Gigantomachia is Right Over There and Very Big

good job Shouji

oh my glob I have so much love for Momo right now that it can’t even fucking be contained. brb wildly flailing my hands around a little to try and release some of this excess excitement

maybe Momo can be president instead and Mt. Lady can be the vice president

NO THE CHAPTER IS ENDING I’M NOT READY

AND JUMP IS ON BREAK AGAIN NEXT WEEK TOO, FML!!

okay!!

Kaminari is so fucking brave right now I just want to crush him in a hug?! we know he’s still scared!! look at his eyes!! and he was freaking the hell out earlier too, and now the situation is much worse! but he doesn’t give a fuck because his friends need him! he is ready to be a hero, my little baby boy is all grown up and I’m so proud??

Mineta’s face in the bottom right corner is everything. I know, I know, boooo Mineta, but that’s still the best face anyone has made in the entirety of this manga

Tetsutetsu’s out here all “I humbly request to also represent class 1-B” and Momo is all “okay fine I guess we can have two of you guys”

can we all just stop for a moment to appreciate how KamiJirouMomo is alive and well. like, we had interactions between all three of them in this chapter, in all possible permutations? do you know how happy this makes me?? I am vibrating with joy??!

I really can’t stress this enough -- I have no clue at all what these little soda can things are (anesthetic, I guess??? you know, like how you sometimes buy cans of anesthetic at the supermarket?? what do you mean you don’t do that??), or what they’re gonna do with them. I have like negative clues. but DAMNED IF I GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. the next chapter can be them all fucking hurling them at his face for all I care. THE DETAILS OF HOW SHE KICKS HIS ASS DO NOT MATTER!! GOOD MORNING TO YAOMOMO AND YAOMOMO ONLY!! MY MOMO ACADEMIA

[imma-fucking-nerd]

Malfunction

(Nines x Reader)

A/N: givin my mountain baby a little love cuz i still feel bad about how i had to do it to him in two birds 😔

——————–———–—————

"Goodmorning, (Y/n)," you were immediately greeted by Connor, your best friend, as you entered the precinct.

"Goodmorning Connor," you responded with a smile just like you did every day.

Looking over his shoulder you surprisingly saw Hank at his desk. You noticed that ever since Connor became a deviant he had managed to slowly get his father figure to come to work on time.

"Morning Hank," you called out to the older man to which he responded with a lazy wave.

After saying your greetings to your friends and having a little smalltalk you headed to your desk. As you put your things down you lifted your gaze, locking your (e/c) eyes with hard steel grey ones. A stare that never failed to make a shiver run down your spine. Even so, you lifted up your hand and offered the stoic android a small wave.

"Morning Nines," you said with a kind smile.

He didn't reply. He never did. But you never stopped greeting him anyways because despite the fact he may not have deviated yet, doesn't mean he's any less a person. However that didn't exactly mean you weren't a little scared of the guy. With the way he stared at you, you could only imagine he was thinking about ripping your head off. Or maybe he wasn't. To say he was hard to read was an understatement.

When you brought your attention back to starting your work, the androids eyes never left your form. What you didn't know was that he didn't hate you like you thought he did. Quite the opposite actually. He found you intriguing. It always puzzled him why you would waste time trying to talk to him. He was just a machine. There was no point.

However the more time went on the less true that seemed to become because whenever you shared a kind smile with him something in him shifted. Changed. As if there was some sort of virus in his programming causing these strange feelings. If he had a dollar for every scan he ran on himself to find out what the hell it was he'd be a billionaire. But alas they all came up with nothing.

That wasn't the only time he'd experience one of these malfunctions, so to speak. They'd also happen whenever he saw you talking with the RK800, Connor, his predecessor. But this feeling was far less desirable than the other. It made Nines insides feel like they were clenching, like he was suffocating from a lack of.... He didn't even know.

You always seemed so comfortable with him and were never not smiling. You'd even hug him after almost every interaction. But he didn't like it. Not one bit. Why were you giving the lesser model so much if your attention? He was the superior one after all. But then he'd ask himself why did it even matter? It wasn't like he cared. He couldn't care. He was a machine. That's all.

At least that's what he'd tell himself. Over and over and over again. Even when he would see the little Software Instability ^ in his peripherals. It must have just been a mistake. An error. A malfunction. Something. He couldn't actually be becoming the very thing that was impossible for him to do.

But when you glanced up and locked eyes with him for just a second, that feeling would return once again. Then he'd end up playing the memory of that moment over and over just to feel it again. Until he'd get snapped out of it by Gavin, or even himself.

It was maddening. You were maddening. You were consuming his every waking moment and you didn't even know it. That was probably the worst part. You had absolutely no clue the hold you had over him. In fact, you were afraid of him, and he knew it. What he didn't know, or understand, was that it hurt him. He'd never hurt you. He ran so many simulations in his head of situations where he'd be ordered to hurt you but he just couldn't. Something that was harder for him to convince himself was at all logical.

Software Instability ^

As the hours went by Nines found himself replaying his favourite memory of you. It was one of the few times you had tried striking up a conversation with the RK900 in the earlier months of his time at the DPD.

"So, I know everyone calls you Nines, but you do have an actual name like Connor or...?" you questioned seemingingly out of the blue, tilting your head up to the tall android.

"I was not registered with an official name, no," he replied simply with his usual monotone voice, glancing down at you.

"Well....would you want one?" you offered with a small smile.

He watched you silently for a moment before responding rather coldly, "I'm a machine. I don't want anything. Nines is a sufficient enough way to address me."

You frowned slightly at his answer and it was the first time he felt the ghost of what would become a powerful feeling.

"Alright well.... If you ever change your mind let me know," you said, your lips curving upwards once more.

Everytime he'd think back on that memory the tiniest of smiles would tug at his lips. It was the first time a human offered him any kindness, or anything at all really, let alone a name. Something that was uniquely his. He told himself he didn't need one but he sometimes wished you'd name him yourself. A thought that would be quickly shoved away, and the tiny smile gone even quicker.

Software Instability ^

By the time he was pulled back to the present it seemed like it was already the end of the day. While he was lost in his own thoughts he was still thankfully able to do his work. Maybe not as flawlessly as normal but it was finished nonetheless. The last thing he wanted was his partner, Gavin Reed, on his case for slacking.

The only people left in the office at this point were himself, Connor, Hank, and you. That was, until Hank and Connor made their way out. But not without stopping at your desk of course. He watched as you said your goodbyes, giving Connor another goddamn hug, with that brilliant smile on your face.

Software Instability ^

Once you were done wishing Connor and Hank a goodnight, you turned back to your desk to finish up a few last minute things. It was rare for you to be the last one in the office but you didn't want to leave without making sure you absolutely did all you needed to do. You didn't need Fowler on your ass.

When you were finally finished you let out a sigh of relief and started gathering your things. As you were pulling on your jacket you couldn't help but jump and let out a little gasp when you noticed Nines in the corner, staring.

"Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack," you chucked nervously as you placed your hand over your rapidly beating heart.

Now you kind of felt bad for forgetting that he was there. It was just that he was so quiet. Like a statue or something. It was just then when a sudden realization made your guilt even worse.

"So do you just, stay here at night? In the dark? Alone?" you asked him as you gathered the rest of your things.

He gave a little nod in response, confirming your suspicions and you sighed softly.

"Well I can't just let you be alone like that so you can come home with me. If you want. You don't have to," you said, stumbling over your words as you continued.

When he didn't answer you frowned slight and gave another soft sigh. Well at least you tried.

"Well, have a good night then," you said before making your way over to the door.

Once you exited the building you stopped when you didn't hear the door close behind you immediately. When you turned around you were surprised to see that Nines was following you.

Software Instability ^

You smiled up at him and continued your way over to your car. You didn't say anything about it, you were just happy that he actually decided to take you up on your offer. That was progress in your book.

As you expected, the car ride home was a quiet one. None of you spoke and you both kept your eyes forward, save for the few glances you spared his way. You couldn't help but feel a little awkward. He looked so much like your best friend Connor, but he couldn't have been more different. You just wished he'd throw you a bone once in a while, let you talk to him without making you feel like you were an unwanted presence. But then again he did decide to come home with you. Again, a little progress was progress nonetheless.

Upon entering your home you let out an exhausted sigh, happy to finally unwind after a long day of work. As you took off your jacket and boots you noticed that Nines just stood infront of the door.

"You can make yourself at home," you said knowing full well that he'd probably wouldn't move from that spot the entire night.

You still wanted to make him feel welcome anyways. Him not being a deviant didn't change the fact he was still a person in your eyes. Even if he gives you many reasons to rethink that.

After that you went on with your night as normal. When you made yourself dinner you had to stop yourself from offering some to Nines. That would've been been very embarassing. But at least you didn't have to worry about him barging in on you while you were in the shower. It took a bit of time to get used to his staring when you watched tv until you got tired, and just as you suspected, he never moved an inch.

At around eleven o'clock you decided you should probably hit the hay. Turning off the tv, you got up and stretched a bit with a yawn before looking over to Nines.

"Welp, I'm off to bed now. Let me know if you need anything," you smiled sleepily at him before turning to head to your room.

Software Instability ^

However you stopped in your tracks when you suddenly heard his smooth voice speak up, causing you to turn back to him in mild surprise.

"I do have one request before you go," he said, his LED now illuminating a pale yellow.

"Yeah? What's up?" you asked maybe a little too eagerly.

But you couldn't help yourself. It wasn't every day Nines asked you for anything. Or talked to you at all really.

You watched him intently, patiently waiting for him to ask whatever it was he wanted to ask. When he didn't speak for a good long minute you were about to open your mouth to ask if he was okay when he moved to stand infront of you before speaking up.

"If your offer of helping me chose a name I would.... appreciate the assistance," he said, shifting his gaze away from you for a moment as he spoke.

"U-Uh yeah sure, of course!" you stuttered.

In all honesty you were surprised that he remembered that offer. Well, maybe you weren't surprised he remembered and more surprised he actually did change his mind.

When he didn't say anything else you spoke up for him, "Did you have anything in mind?"

"No. I would prefer it if you would select a suitable name for me," he said, finally asking of you what he wanted.

Well one thing he wanted from you, besides you yourself. But he wasn't even aware that was what he truly wanted. Not yet at least.

Again, you found yourself blinking at him in slight shock and for some reason you felt your cheeks flaring up.

"I uh, yeah I can do that. How about...." you trailed off, staring up at him intently as you thought about a decent name for him.

It was silent as you both stared at each other. Both your minds racing with very different thoughts. Nines LED blinking as he waited to register a new name. His first real name. Given by you.

Software Instability ^

After what felt like forever, your mind finally settled on a name you thought fit perfectly.

"How about Conan?" you asked with a hopeful smile.

The android looked off into the distance for a moment before nodding.

"Yes I think that will suffice. Thank you," he said as he looked back down to you.

"Great!" your smile turned into a grin and you felt pride bubble up inside you.

You did wonder why his LED was still yellow, however. How long did it take to process that information? You decided not to think too much about it.

"Anyways I should really be going to bed now. Goodnight, Conan," you offered him one last smile before turning to the hall towards your room.

However halfway down the hall you were suddenly turned and pinned to the wall, a hand on each side of your head effectively caging you in. You looked up at Conan with confusion and fear in your eyes. His eyebrows were knit together and his LED was burning an bright red.

"C-Conan?" you timidly spoke, not being able to hide the fear in your voice.

Was he about to kill you? What did you do wrong? Did he really not like the ne name?- Suddenly, you were pulled from your thoughts.

"What are you doing to me," his voice was low, almost a whisper and held something you've never heard from him.

Emotion.

But what emotion it was exactly, you couldn't tell.

"W-What? I-I didn't do anything!" you squeaked out, confusion evident in your voice.

He blinked a couple of times and his harsh features softened. You could of sworn you saw hurt flash in his eyes for just a moment.

Software Instability ^

"You don't even know, do you?" his voice was somehow softer than before.

"W-What?-" but before you could ask him what he meant he interrupted you.

"Whenever I'm around you my therium pump seems to work faster than it should, and all my biocomponants clench. It feels like I'm being suffocated. But whenever you're gone it's somehow worse. Like I'm missing a vital system. I've run a million tests but everything comes out fine. So why? Why is this happening?" He hung his head as he spoke, confusion and, what worried you more, fear could be heard in his voice.

Software Instability ^

Suddenly any fear you felt from him vanished and you were starting to realize what was happening. It made heat slowly start to rise in your cheeks and didn't at all help your ever high heartrate.

"What are you doing to me?" he asked again almost desperately, finally meeting your eyes once more.

You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. You didn't have a clue what to say. There was no doubt he was deviating, and there was no doubt it was because of you. After what felt like an eternity of silence you finally cleared your throat before speaking.

"I'm not doing anything, but I think I know what's happening to you," your words were soft and slow as you spoke, as if trying to calm an angry animal.

You took a brief pause for a moment until Conan's expectant stare made you to continue.

"I think.... No, I know, what you're feeling is.... It's called love," your voice remained calm, soft, and confident even.

Software Instability ^

"That's not possible," he said harshly, his eyebrows furrowing.

Fear started to slowly creep back up into you hut you pushed it down. It was obvious that this was difficult for him and he needed you. You weren't going to let him down.

"Yes. It is. Conan, you're feeling. You're becoming human," a small reassuring smile spread across your lips.

You avoided using the word 'deviant', knowing that he would see what was happening as a bad thing if it was labeled as such. But it wasn't a bad thing at all and you were trying your damndest not to fuck it up. So before he could come to the conclusion of it being a negative on his own you continued.

"And that's not a bad thing. It's a very very good thing. A wonderful thing," as you spoke you slowly raised a hand to gently rest on his chest.

However before your hand could touch him, his hand caught your wrist. His grip was tight, but not to the point that it hurt. It was a warning. So you ceased your movements immediately.

Software Instability ^

You watched as he shut his eyes tightly, his face scrunching up causing you to stay silent and still. Oh how you wished you knew what was going on in his head. The only indication you had was his raging red LED.

What you couldn't see was the multiple notices of software instability going off again and again. And as he shut his eyes he was met with a large red wall of his mission. He knew what this meant. He knew what would happen if he broke through. He couldn't do this. He can't be a deviant. But then your words replayed in his head. "And that's not a bad thing. It's a very very good thing. A wonderful thing." That gave him enough strength to finally bash that wall down.

After what must have been a solid five minutes, although it felt more like hours, he slowly guided your hand up to cup his cheek. This made your eyes go wide but you didn't dare pull away, not that you even wanted to anyways. You assumed that the action was his wordless way of telling you he did it. He fully deviated.

When he finally opened his eyes he was met with a warm, reassuring smile and the feeling of your thumb brushing over his cheekbone. His LED seemed to finally calm down to a yellow hue, making your smile grow just a bit wider in relief. Without another word you suddenly went on your tippytoes and wrapped your other arm around his neck, pulling him down slightly into a hug. Your other hand, which he slowly let go of, moved to the back of his head.

He didn't know exactly what you were doing at first and just stood there awkwardly. But as soon as he realized you were hugging him he slowly wrapped his arms around your waist. After a few more minutes of him getting used to your embrace you felt him relax into you and even nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, his LED finally settling back to a calm baby blue.

You two just stood there in each others arms for god knows how long. But you didn't mind one bit. If you didn't know better you would have even thought he fell asleep. As if on cue, a yawn escaped from your body and you wondered just how late it had gotten. As soon as Conan heard you yawn he pulled back from you, but his arms stayed firmly around your waist.

"It's 12:32 am, you should go get some rest," he said softly, looking into your eyes with an amount of love you've never seen before.

"Uh y-yeah okay," you stuttered out, the heat in your face rising higher than ever before that night.

However before you even had the chance to take a step towards you room Conan took it upon himself to lift you up bridal style and carry you to your room. A small squeak left your lips at the sudden action and your arms immediately wrapped around his neck. Looking up at him you noticed his lips curling up into a small smirk and your face burned even hotter.

"I-I could've walked you know," you said, your smile betraying your tone.

"I know," was all he said as he stopped to gently place you down onto your bed.

He watched as you got under your covers and got comfortable until your beautiful (e/c) eyes lifted up to meet his. God how was it even possible you looked even more gorgeous than before. Or maybe it was that he could now appreciate your beauty in full.

"Stay?" your small voice pulled him from him thoughts and he noticed you patting the empty space beside you.

"Of course," he responded, his smirk from before growing as he moved to lay down next you.

As soon as he was laying down you covered him with the blanket as well and curled up next to him. He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him while his free hand started to gently pet tour hair.

"Goodnight Conan," you said sleepily as your eyes fluttered shut.

"Goodnight (Y/n)," he whispered back before leaning down and pressing his lips gently to your temple.

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A/N: HOLY. SHIT. I got CARRIED carried away lmaooo. Over 3500 words jfc. Each fic i write gets longer and longer. Anyways hope y'all liked it as much as I did writing it!