#say it louder for the people in the back OP!

[brutermonger]

Oddly enough this is one reason why I've found comfort in Monsters.🐺✨

A space to find the "atypical" queers that were Rarely (and Still largely isn't) represented in Mainstream media. The lukewarm accepted stereotype of the "Aesthetically Pleasing" queer: Clean shaven, flamboyant, Fem expressive through the heteronormative lens was just Never my vibes. Why couldn't t.v gays just be some Guy, a Dude?

So yes mlm shippers Be Not Afraid, Take our hands as we broaden your horizons, open your third eye.. There's so much More gay shit that you've yet to Discover 🤝🌈😌

*grabbing mlm shippers by the shoulders* guys nobody needs to be the twink. nobody needs to be the sub. nobody needs to be the femboy. they can both be big fat hairy men who bask in each others masculinity or they can both be unspeakable monstrous creatures with inhuman genitalia it’s okay I’m holding your hand. Let me show you the way

[misslovasstuff]

Things that they say which make you weak in the knees

fem!reader x op!men: Zoro, Sanji, Law.

information: nsfw content is marked aside.

please support me here (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎) ： ko-fi

Zoro

“You’re so pretty when you fight”

The way you just send that guy flying with just one punch makes me think you can be so ruthless sometimes… I like it.”

“You decided to wear the most seductive perfume for me to get drunk on.”

“Come, rest on my lap.”

“I want to hold your hand just in case you get lost, you know…”

“I’ll never let you out of my grip.”

“You’re the sword I point to myself, my greatest weakness.”

“One more tear coming from your eyes and I’ll let the world know what it means to live in hell.”

“I got you one of those hair clips you like.”

“You’ve gotten stronger, so it will be soon enough that you will surpass curly eyebrows.”

“I’m so proud of you.”

“Well, can’t blame a man for not being able to say no to his woman.“

“You’re one of the strongest people I know, babe. Don’t get discouraged.”

“You feeding me food just made my whole day.”

“Just because I’m with a beautiful woman does not mean I know how I did it alright?”

“Beautiful, everything about you is so beautiful.”

“I’ve missed you all day, a lot.”

“Please say it one more time, say it again that you love me.”

NSFW

“Fuck baby, you’re tightening around me so much.”

“You like doing the exact opposite of what I tell you, huh? Then don’t bend over and absolutely don’t scream my name while I’m at it.”

“Every hole of yours takes me so well. Does your body only accept my cock?”

“You’ve been fantasising about this moment, right?”

“Spit out all the positions you’ve imagined yourself with me. We’re going to try them all.”

“Your gaze on me is so intense, what do you want baby? Whisper to me all your nasty thoughts?”

“I like it when you scream like that, go even louder if you want. Let yourself go wild, I’m here with you, I got you.”

“Look at yourself, your hips are moving on their own. Are you this eager for me?”

“Leaving all these marks on my skin, what do you want to show? That I’m yours? There is none in the world who doesn’t know that I belong to you.”

Sanji

“Where does your beauty come from? The heavens?”

“I haven’t really known love before laying my eyes on you.”

“Mon amour, the dress I got looks marvellous on you, my goodness…I can’t look away. Don’t mind your boyfriend staring at you for a while.”

“I made your favourite dessert, love. And no, it won’t make you fat, and no it was not a bother for me. You’re never a bother for me cher. Now open your mouth.”

“Who hurt you like this? Tell me. I know you’re kind and don’t want to hurt anyone, but I need to meet the bastard who did this to you.”

“Pretty girl looking at the pretty sunset not knowing she’s prettier, no, the prettiest!”

“Your hair has grown so beautifully during the past few months, sweetheart. You look like a fairy princess.”

“Wait I don’t want you to go and leave me alone with mosshead! Pleaseeeee, baby nooooo!”

“Is this guy bothering you?”

“Look man, can’t you see the lady has no interest in you whatsoever? Keep walking and don’t you dare even to look back at her, bastard!”

“I read the little note you left for me in the kitchen, it’s still not funny that you sign with a spiral brow every time.”

NSFW

“I’ll start begging if you keep teasing me like this, mon cœur.”

“So afraid to kiss your lips and taint them with mine. How can I not tremble when I touch something so heavenly?

“Slow down, Angel. All this is here for you.”

“You taste so good, I want more…more…”

“Such a good girl for putting your legs over my shoulders, you know what your boyfriend likes, don’t you sweetheart?”

“Yes, baby exactly like that. Move your tongue around it just like that.”

“Feel how deep I am in you, feel it, touch it.

“Is it alright if I start moving it? Well, perhaps it’d be good to ask myself that too because I’m feeling so overwhelmed right now.”

“Mon amour, tell me how you like it, tell me what you want, I’ll do it all for you.”

“I’ve been thinking all day of being inside you.”

“Your boobs pull my hands like magnets. Let them be the hill I die on.”

“I’m restraining my moans cause I know you’ll make fun of me later. However, I can’t help but whimper under your touch.”

“I’ll fuck you like the very first day. You remember what position you were in, don’t you? Then, be a good girl and bend over for me.”

Law

“You don’t have to put all the pressure on yourself. I’m here so relax.”

“How come you’re so confident and so shy at them same time? That’s adorable.”

“Go out with me, I promise I’ll make you the happiest woman in all the seas!”

“I could never foresee experiencing this feeling. Is this what it feels like to fall in love? Do you…do you feel it too?”

“I’ve done many mistakes in my life but you are not one.”

“I found you, someone I want to protect and risk my life for. How can I gather the strength to let go of your hand now?”

“I’m not blushing! It’s not blush it’s just the freaking sun!”

“Look, it’s hard talking about feelings ok? I need a moment to think how to not completely crumble when I gaze at your eyes.”

“How can someone so precious like you exist?”

“Your soul radiates a light so strong that it pushes off all my senses. Can I touch you?”

“I trust you. Please come back safely.”

“Allies? You specify our relationship as allies? That’s it?!

NSFW

“That’s why you were waiting for me on the deck, so you could get dicked down tonight?”

“I’ll touch you only if you use that pretty mouth of yours to beg. Come on sweetheart, don’t be mad at me, I’ve spoiled you way to much.”

“While I’m at it, start thinking of other places you want to be fucked at. The night is long, beautiful.”

“Look at me. Yes, with that satisfaction in your eyes. Take my fingers in your mouth and don’t be loud. Surely you don’t want your crew to see you in such position, yes?”

“Fuck, where did you learn to suck like that?”

“You can’t see them but there are marks in your ass from all the slapping. Only you would be crazy enough to tattoo them.”

“Driving me crazy here, you’re riding me like there’s no tomorrow. Please, don’t stop.”

“You’re so rough… I love it…I love you.”

[peachesofteal]

Sometimes I think about Dr. Riley sitting in his office, fidgeting with a pen staring out of the window, waiting for something... someone. There's a storm coming.

I still think about Dr Riley.

I think about him having a very inappropriate relationship with his patient, Clover. Clover who got her nickname because her special ops team thought she was sooo lucky… until she wasn’t. Until she made a mistake, miscalculated, and got two of her teammates killed. Clover, who had to look Captain Garrick in the eyes as he told her to take indefinite leave until she got her head on straight.

Clover can’t think or eat or sleep without hear the high pitch whine of a drone in her ear. Public places make her skin crawl. She can hardly function. Manages to feed herself and slink down to her building’s gym in the middle of the night, when no one else is there. She runs herself ragged, to the point of exhaustion, and only then can she manage sleep.

The train is late.

The tardiness makes everyone on the platform uneasy. They shift and grimace, fingers fidgeting, eyes roaming.

It’s grey down here. Grey up there, too. A city blanketed in rain, thick cottony fog obscuring streets and buildings, rolling through day, washing it into night without giving the sun it’s singular chance.

It’s grey everywhere. Grey in your bones, in your head. Grey cotton stuffed between your ears to stop the bleeding.

You try to let the anxieties of the delay drift past you, like a warm breeze, but it feels like a winter’s wind instead. Icy. Vicious. Cutting to the bone.

You’re a dog at the end of a chain. Ready. Waiting for the signal. Captain’s orders.

Relax. You’re at home. Waiting for the call. Going to finish therapy, so you can finally get out of here.

The yellow line of the boundary lays straight in front of you. You count the cracks in the concrete and wonder what would happen if you took a step off the edge.

Just one.

A single step.

Would these people try to save you? Would they scream and run? Would they watch you die, body exploded into bits by a train that couldn’t stop? How long would it take you ID you? Who would they call?

It’s not that you want to die. You’re more… curious about it now. Morbidly so. Wondering when it will happen, if death is following you around, waiting to collect his due.

You steady with a long breath, attention focused on the wall across the tracks, counting each tile. Your eyes are still sharp, as sharp as ever, and you focus in on each one individually, judging the distance, imagining a scope in your line of sight, smooth trigger under your finger.

There’s a collective sigh across the platform when the train squeaks to a halt, and you intentionally board last, watching the backs and profiles of everyone else. Back packs, long jackets, anxious faces are all catalogued and sorted, filtered and stacked into neat little piles.

You tug at a piece of skin around your nail, trying to tear it down to the cuticle. The delay has made you uneasy, nervous. Not at all like you used to be. Not at all like your old self.

This will be it this time, you coach, train car pulling away and rocketing into darkness. You’ll get it this time. It’s almost over.

“Hi, sorry I have an appointment at ten, with…” you check your calendar. “Dr. Riley? I know I’m late…” the woman at the desk smiles. It’s clinical, just like every other time. You don’t think she likes you much, you’re not like her. Not like any of them.

“That’s alright, it’s just this way.” She leads you through a maze of hallways, coming to a stop at one dark, wooden door. “Dr. Riley? Your ten o’clock is here.”

It opens to the biggest man you’ve ever seen, clad in jeans and a black hoodie. Is this… is this the shrink?

He says your name. When you don’t answer, he says it again, a little louder. His Manchester accent is full of grit, a mouth full of rocks, but there’s something warm in it too, something spinning you in a soft cocoon of yarn.

“H-hi.” He extends his hand, a massive palm, dwarfing yours.

“I’m Dr. Riley, come in. Thanks, Laura.” He bids the receptionist goodbye, and clicks the door shut behind her, turning with a motion to the couch. “Take a seat. I was just about to call you.”

“I’m sorry, the train was delayed and-“ He holds up his hand, a motion to stop.

“You made it, that’s what matters.” Your hands shake, and you clutch them in your lap. It’s a side effect, they tell you. It’s supposed to go away, but you’ve stopped counting the days.

He’s not what you expected. Your last doctor in this building was an old man who wore a dress shirt and slacks. Dr. Riley looks like he’s in his forties. He’s built out like a solider, broad shoulders and broad chest filling out his casual clothes, glasses reflecting his focused gaze. There are scars on his face, faded white streaks on his upper lip, cheek and jaw. His nose has been broken and repaired, and there’s a patch of his eyebrow missing, like it’s been burned away. He’s part shadow, part marble, full lips, sandy brown hair, chiseled jaw, ocean eyes.

“Why don’t you tell me why you’re here?” He begins, glancing at the laptop screen.

“I need to pass my psych eval, sir.” You focus on the question, and not the lone drone rattle rolling through your skull.

“There’s no rank in this office.” Oh, duh. “Why do you need to pass an eval?”

“I’m ready to return to my job. Just need to pass this last step.” Sir. You bite the honorific off just in time.

“If you can’t pass a psych eval, I’d say the conclusion is you’re not ready.” Your spine straightens at the authority in his voice. “And you’re not here for an eval.” Wait, what?

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re not here for an evaluation, you’re here for therapy.”

“N-no, sir- ah, Dr. Riley,” his lips tilt, a fraction, and your knees press together involuntarily. “I’ve already had therapy.” He ignores your protest.

“You’ve failed three evaluations in the last two months. You can’t just keep throwing it all the wall, hoping it will stick. You need care.” The room pitches, and you’re trapped on a tilt-a-whirl, locked into a too loud, too bright carnival ride, sirens and screams screeching in the distance.

He says your name again.

“Sorry.” The tablet folds into a laptop, balanced on a broad knee.

“Tell me about them.”

“About…”

“The psych evals. Failing three in such a short time window is a feat.” You blanche. You hate that word, fail. It stings. It’s an affront to you, you who doesn’t fail. You who was the top of her class, first selected, first pick. Your captain depends on you, your team counts on you, to not fail. At anything. Ever.

“I… I struggled with them.” There are photos on the wall, framed medals and degrees. A picture of a German shepherd, and a hanging house plant of some kind, spritely and green, leaves and vines twisting from its perch.

“Let’s start today talking about why you’re struggling with them, then.”

“I don’t know why. If I did, I wouldn’t be here.” You’re peevish, and he raises an eyebrow. “Sorry, I’m just… stressed. My team-“

“is operating in the field without you.”

“Yes.”

“And it’s causing you stress.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Why?” What is this?

“Why is it causing you stress? Do you not trust them to operate successfully without you?”

“No… I do.”

“What about your captain? Do you not trust him to lead them?”

“Of course I do.” Your fingers tighten on the chair. “I do. But they’re down a man, and they can’t be down for too long.”

“I’m sure your team cares more about you getting the care need, over rushing back into engagement too soon.”

“I know, but I’m ready.”

“You’re not. And I know your captain, Garrick? He wouldn’t want you to jeopardize your wellbeing.” How does he know cap?

“You know captain Garrick?” Dr. Riley smiles.

“I do. And like I said, he wouldn’t want you passed through if you weren’t ready.” He’s got you pinned, metaphorically. Back against the mat, shoulders immobilized. You can’t crawl your way free, can’t fight or twist out of his grip. “Do you want to talk about why you’re on leave?”

“No! No, I… don’t need to.” You complain. “I’ve had eight counseling sessions in the last two months.”

“They’ve clearly helped.” He drawls, glancing at you over the laptop. The eye contact rakes a shiver down your spine, and you find your feet.

“I don’t want to talk about it again, sir.” You whisper it to the ground, silently begging he won’t make you.

“There’s no rank here.” He reminds, voice soft and understanding. “But I’m your clinician now, and I won’t sign off on you taking another psychological evaluation until I’m confident you’re healthy enough to return to work.”

“Can I ask…” you taper off, but he nods to encourage you. “Can I ask why I’ve suddenly been switched to a new doctor?”

“You failed an eval three times. The practice decided you needed a different approach to care.” There’s a pause, and the laptop shuts. His hands settle across his thighs. “Let’s talk about what they call you.”

“Sir?” His lips press together but deigns to remind you a third time about rank.

“Clover.” Oh.

“Yeah, that’s what my team calls me. Only my mum uses my real name anymore.” You joke, and he smiles in a small way, gaze unreadable, bearing down onto you from above.

“Is there meaning behind it?”

“I used to be considered good luck.”

“Used to be?” You blink. Used to be. Like you used to be someone else.

“I guess… my luck ran out.” He nods thoughtfully.

“Why do you think that?” Because you fucked up? You got your friends killed? Because you got into a jam you couldn’t get out of? Because you were tortured into an unrecognizable piece of human pulp?

“I… I don’t know.”

“You do.” He states matter of fact, leveling you easily. You gape.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You mutter, looking towards your knees.

“How about mirrors?”

“What?”

“How do you feel about mirrors?” The question sets you aback. It’s never been asked, not in your previous sessions, not by anyone. No one knows about the mirrors in your flat, covered by shirts and sheets and dish towels. Turned away, forced into corners. The bathroom vanity obscured by a long white bedsheet; your reflection hidden at every turn.

“I… I don’t like them.” The honesty on your tongue tastes good, but it burns.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I don’t like to look at myself, now.” The laptop reopens, and he types in silence for a long moment. The quiet settles around the two of you, ticking of a second hand clicking away in your ear.

“I’m going to give you some homework.” Homework?

“What kind of homework?”

“I want you to look in a mirror.” You draw a sharp breath. “When you’re at home, and you’re alone, I want you to really look at yourself, see yourself, for as long as you can. If it’s only a few seconds, it’s only a few seconds. There’s no time requirement. The only thing you have to do… is look.”

“Dr. Riley…” you laugh nervously, and he meets your eyes with a serious expression.

“Only for a few seconds. Can you do that?” No.

“I can… I can try.” You can do whatever he wants, if it will get him to pass you on the eval. If it will get you out of here.

“Good.” The watch on his wrist glints in the afternoon sun. “I’ll give you my number. Text me when your homework is done.”

“Okay.” That’s it? He stands, and you look away, unable to focus on anything but the edge of the table, brown wood slatted together and worn with age.

“You can run away now.” He murmurs, standing between you and the door. “This was good, Clover. I know it’s not easy. You did well today.” Words catch in your throat, caustic and rough. Still, you try to get them out.

“T-thanks.”

You try to do your homework that night.

You stand in front of the bathroom mirror in your pajamas, one hand on a hem, waiting to pull free and reveal your reflection.

You can do this. You can. Just do it.

The tug never comes.

You stare at the white sheet until your eyes start to cross.

Better luck tomorrow.

You hold steady in your routines. Eating. Walking. Stretching. Strength. You do yoga in the evenings, weights in the mornings. You spend too much time in your building’s gym, mindlessly pounding out miles on the treadmill, headphones blaring at full volume. You do it all robotically.

You’re outside of your body. Out of your mind.

But you could still pull a trigger.

Sometimes, when you can stand it, you take your walks outside, bypassing those who linger on sidewalks, cutting through parks and alleys. Fresh air and sunlight are supposed to help, but you don’t think it does any good. The rot is still there, curled up in your bones, blackened and sticky, festering like an infection. It’s a monster inside your body, a monster you now share your life with, cutting away pieces, long after being freed from the cell.

You eat. You walk. You try to look in the mirror.

With three days before your next session with Dr. Riley, you still haven’t managed to complete your homework. You try, in the hall, in your bedroom, again and again in the bathroom, but it never happens, you can’t quite get yourself to cross the bridge.

Failure.

Dr. Riley is waiting for you in the lobby on the day of your next appointment.

“Hi Clover.” He smiles, and it’s genuine, warm, almost wrapping around your shoulders.

“Hi, Dr. Riley.”

“How was your week?” You lag him, letting him guide you to the office, where the yellow lights are dim and darkened, casting shadow across the brown couch where you take your seat.

“It was fine.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing, really. I’ve been at the gym a lot, trying to keep myself in shape for when I go back.”

“Exercise is good as long as you’re not overdoing it. Do you do anything else?”

“Um, I take walks outside.” His leg shifts, ankle on knee, and then his hand folds over his thigh. Something akin to interest brightens in your heart but is desperately snuffed out. He’s your therapist. “I walk in the park a lot.”

“Oh yeah? Which?”

“The one off of eighth.”

“I walk there too, nice park. Lots of trails.” You try to imagine him in joggers, taking a stroll. “I’m going to guess; you didn’t do your homework?” Heat unfurls across your face.

“I tried, but…”

“That’s okay. I thought we could try today, if you feel up to it.” Here? Now? Your eyes go wide. You look around.

“I don’t see a mirror.”

“There’s one on wheels down the hall, the occupational therapists use it all the time. Can I bring it in?” Your stomach twists up, nausea tossing your lunch from side to side.

“I uh… I don’t know.”

“You can do it. I know you can.” You hedge, unsure. Can you? Will you?

You can try.

“Okay.”

“Alright, close your eyes. I’ll be right back.” The door opens and shuts, and then opens again, wheels rolling close. You clench your eyes closed so tight it nearly hurts.

Warm fingers grab yours.

“It’s over here.” He murmurs, leading your blind steps away from the couch, coming to a stop… somewhere. “Whenever you’re ready.” You can’t feel him anymore, but you know he’s there, at your back. There’s a faint ruffle of air through your hair, against your neck. “Take a deep breath.”

You focus on the pace of your lungs, the expansion, the give and take of your ribcage.

“I can’t.” You whisper. You’re floating in space, unable to pull the trigger.

A kind hand on your shoulder brings you back.

“You can do it. Try.” The encouragement, the belief is a vine in your heart. Alive and green, it sows roots as deep as it can manage, clinging to fibrous flesh and hollowing you out. It catches on valves and ventricles, spiraling forward in a complicated web like an anchor.

You see him first, in the mirror. Stare straight back at him, falling into his gaze, vibrating in his hold like a child’s wind-up toy.

“Not me. You.” He says gently, and when you can, you bear it.

You almost gasp. It’s been two months since you’ve seen your own face, your complexion, your nose and your eyes and your chin. You’re long healed, bones set perfectly, everything right as rain. You look normal. You look fine. It’s the most shocking thing, to see yourself looking healthy, pieced back together, nearly whole. Your lower lip trembles with effort to hold yourself at bay, to keep yourself from breaking apart, drifting back towards the moon.

“That’s it. Great job, Clover.” His hand still rests on your shoulder, but you shake with a violence now, a torrent of emotion, threatening to cut you off at the knees. “It’s okay.” He whispers.

When you can’t stand it any longer, you close your eyes.

“How did you know?” You’re resettled on the couch, hands tucked under your thighs.

“Know what?”

“That I hadn’t looked in a mirror… since…”

“I know a thing or two, about coming back different. I know how it feels when you don’t want to see yourself.” You glance at the medals on the wall, primly tacked to a plush pillow, encased in glass, and wonder.

“Did you work with captain Garrick?”

“We were in a task force together, before I retired early to do this.” He smiles, easy and light, but there’s something guarded in it, something sharp, shark’s teeth aiming for docile flesh. It purrs, and makes you want to pull back more layers. Gives you something else to focus on, something else to fall into, but it’s gone before you can really study him.

“Oh.” It’s all you can say as he types something on the laptop, and then puts it away.

“That’s all for today. I’ll see you next week then?”

[mrspasser]

I saw you on the train - Sterek Fanfic

Sterek fanfiction, shamelessly based on this Tumblr post by @tsaiko. (OP, please let me know if I overstepped!) This is also on A03.

I saw you on the train

Derek gets on the subway after work, mentally bracing himself for having to deal with people because he didn’t charge his phone last night. Or he did, but his pup chewed through his charger cable and he frankly didn’t notice the nearly empty battery until he was already at the office. Any other day he loves his old brick of a phone, but today it was a bit of a bother that nobody had a charger that he could borrow. Ergo, he has no music to drone out the conversations of the other passengers.

He makes his way a little down the train car and sits down in an open seat. Across the aisle and one seat down are two men, mid to late twenties. They’re having one of those whisper-shout conversations with each other, where the words at the end of each sentence get louder with their anger, before they remind themselves that they are in public and go back to furious whispering. Derek can tell they are trying to be quiet, but emotions are high. Things are tense between them, it’s obvious within a few minutes of involuntary eavesdropping.

He knows he should try to ignore them, but it’s pretty hard to do. They’re in Derek’s direct line of sight and one of them has the most mesmerising whiskey coloured eyes he has ever seen. Right now, the lines around the young man’s eyes are hard and stressed, yet Derek can imagine the twinkle that would be there when he’s in better spirits. It fits the slight uptick of his nose. Somehow he just knows the guy can be a nuisance in all the best ways. He has an expressive face, which makes him far more interesting to Derek than his more generically handsome partner, who has neatly styled brown hair and blue eyes.

It’s an easy guess that the two of them are in a relationship, even though the expected easy chemistry is missing. But there aren’t many people that would be fighting in public, except when they’re in a close, intimate relationship. It’s a bit odd that they chose to have a discussion about the future of their relationship on the subway during rush hour, but whatever, they probably had a head of steam up on this topic. 

It's a relationship drama that doesn’t involve Derek, yet he’s kind of forced to listen to it as one of the few people without headphones in the direct vicinity. There’s an older woman that glances curiously in the direction of the two men every now and then, but she’s reading a travel guide in a language that Derek can’t place, so chances are her English isn’t good enough to know what the two are talking about. 

The gist of their discussion is that the one with the blue eyes wants to move forward with their relationship, maybe move in together, while Whiskey Eyes wants to slow down. Suddenly, Mr. Generic breaks in with a story about how his mom hates the city, but she moved to New York to stay with his dad and has lived there for twenty years now. And then he actually says the words: “Because relationships are about sacrifices.”

Whiskey Eyes looks like he wants to argue that point - which Derek can understand - yet he decides to follow his boyfriend’s reasoning. “And what have you sacrificed for our relationship?”

The barely hidden sarcasm in the question is apparently lost on Mr. Generic, because he has the audacity to come up with something or other he missed out on because he went with his boyfriend to a wedding. “We flew all the way back to California for your step brother’s wedding. I even had to sleep on the floor of your childhood bedroom!”

Like Derek, Whiskey Eyes is totally unimpressed with that answer and even rolls his eyes. Of course, his boyfriend doesn’t like that and their whispered argument continues. Derek can’t exactly hear what they’re saying, though it’s apparent that things aren’t getting better. Then, in a voice clear as day, Whiskey Eyes asks: “Name one thing I’m interested in.”

Mr. Generic freezes. He does a pretty decent impression of a store mannequin, with the vacant expression and the empty eyes. Derek can almost hear the dial tone coming from his brain. It’s clear that he can’t come up with a single thing that his boyfriend likes. On top of that, he looks confused as to why he’s even asked that question.

Things are quiet after that. The boyfriend tries to talk to Whiskey Eyes a couple of times, but he ignores him and just stares straight ahead. There’s a grim expression on his face, his jaws clenched. Still, the boyfriend doesn’t seem to understand the trouble he got himself in. 

The train pulls up at the station, Derek’s stop, and Whiskey Eyes gets up. “Baby?” Mr. Generic frowns at his partner. “This isn’t our stop.”

Whiskey Eyes gives him a cold glance. “It’s my stop now.” The doors open and he walks out. Just fucking walks off and leaves him on the train. 

Derek almost forgets to get off himself, he gets out just before the doors close. The boyfriend comes to his senses too and he jostles roughly past Derek in his hurry to go after his partner. Or ex-partner, probably. Because Derek sincerely doubts he can recover from that. He almost feels bad for the idiot. Or not, since the contents of Derek’s messenger bag go sprawling across the platform because of his rude shoulder check. 

The platform of the small station empties out quickly, leaving Derek to pick up the notes that spilled from their folder. When he looks up, still on one knee and with his papers in hand, he sees the couple from the train. They’re standing halfway between Derek and the exit and he’s just in time to see Whiskey Eyes pull his arm loose from Mr. Generic’s grip. Their voices echo in the empty station.

“We are through, Matt. I should’ve realised before that it wouldn’t work out, this thing between us.” Whiskey Eyes gestures angrily between them. “If there ever was a thing, because I’m starting to think I was the only one who was really invested.” 

Mr. Generic - Matt - scoffs. “You’re overreacting. And for what? Just because I couldn’t remember the name of your favourite movie from the top of my head? It’s Star Track, or something.”

“Star Trek,” Whiskey Eyes corrects, emphasising the last word. “And my favourite is Star Wars, not Star Trek.” He looks like he’s completely done with his ex-boyfriend’s bullshit. “Good bye, Matt. I’ll ask Lydia to pick up my stuff from your place later. Don’t follow me please.” He turns on his heel and walks to the stairs. 

“Baby…” The now definitely ex-boyfriend tries to keep up with him, but he’s quickly shot down.

“Don’t follow me.” The words are cold and clipped, making the ex-boyfriend stop in his tracks and just watch Whiskey Eyes disappear up the stairs.

Derek briefly makes eye contact with the asshole ex-boyfriend as he too makes his way to the exit. The man ignores him, mumbling something about ‘stupid nerd shit’ as he fumbles his phone from his pocket and simultaneously checks the board for the next train.

Yeah, Derek doesn’t feel sorry for him.

He does feel sorry for the whiskey eyed young man he finds standing forlornly just outside the exit of the train station. The guy just looks so lost that Derek can’t help but go up to him. “Are you okay?” he asks, startling the other.

“What? Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m okay,” Whiskey Eyes hurries to say. Then he looks around him and huffs a small, sad laugh. “Actually, I’m not. I don’t have a clue where I am and I just realised that I left my keys at home and my roommate won’t be home until late tonight.” 

“Shitty day, huh?” Derek remarks, showing him a sympathetic smile. 

“You can say that again,” is the blunt answer. It sounds almost rude, though it’s followed by a rueful smile. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t… I mean, I didn’t want to…” Derek isn’t really sure what he’s apologising for and neither seems he. “Sorry. Again. You caught me at a bad time. I just broke up with my… Well, my ex-boyfriend now.”

“I know,” Derek answers and he winces, because it’s clear he was listening in to things that were none of his business. “I mean,” he tries to course correct, “I couldn’t help but overhear. I was on the train too.” 

“You were?” Whiskey Eyes blushes a delicious shade of red. “Fuck. That’s embarrassing.” 

“Nah.” Derek shrugs. “If anything, he’s the one who should be ashamed. Like, who doesn’t know Star Trek apart from Star Wars?”

“I know, right?” He’s still blushing, but it goes well with his smile. 

Derek usually isn’t this forward with strangers, but right now he feels like taking a chance. He could be mistaken, but he doesn’t think he is, not with the shy way Whiskey Eyes is rubbing the back of his neck. So he asks: “Would you like to get something to eat? I’m on my way home and I was planning to get some take out, but if you want, we can go grab a bite together?” 

“Uh, sure!” Whiskey Eyes is only a bit taken aback by his question and seems eager to distract himself from the situation from earlier. “Yeah, why not? I have to wait until my roommate gets home anyway.” Then he holds out his hand. “I’m Stiles, by the way.” 

“Derek.” He takes his hand and is pleased to find it warm and firm. “How do you feel about Thai food?” 

They settle down in the window seat of the small Thai place a block or so from Derek’s home. Stiles declares it the best Tom Kha Kai he has ever had and they discover that they’re born in the same county in California. Derek’s family moved out when he was about twelve years old, yet Stiles’ father still lives there. And so does his recently married step brother.

Conversation flows easily and Derek is happy to discover that Stiles indeed has a very appealing sparkle in his eyes when he’s amused. 

Four months later, they kiss for the first time. Another four months later he finds himself lying on a thin camping mattress on the floor of Stiles’ childhood bedroom. There’s a large Star Wars poster above the bed, with the letters of the opening crawl. Glow in the dark stars that have long lost their shine dot the ceiling. 

A little above him, Stiles rolls so he can look down over the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry my bed is so tiny,” he whispers. “Are you sure you’re okay down there? We can switch!”

Derek catches the hand Stiles extends to him and presses his lips to the knuckles. “I’m fine, sweetheart. It’s just for a couple of nights anyway.”

Stiles smiles fondly at him. “Okay, if you’re sure.” 

“I’m sure,” Derek nods. He presses another kiss to the back of Stiles’ hand. “Now go to sleep, you’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

Stiles yawns and nods. As only son and best man he’s invested in making his father’s wedding day a success. “You really don’t think he’d let me walk him down the aisle?” 

Derek chuckles quietly. They’ve been over this before. “Just leave that part to Scott and his mom. Don’t steal their thunder.” 

“Right.” Stiles caresses the side of Derek’s face one last time and then tucks his arm back underneath his blanket. “Good night, Der. Love you.” 

“I love you too. Good night.”

[stormypip7]

dude this one is so real. like 90% of my art would probably be more popular if it was digital. but i have no real access to digital art (i only have the phone im typing this on and my nintendo consoles, so i have nothing to do digital art on.)

I have genuinely thought about just not posting my art here because of this. Specifically this, because I can spend ages trying to make something that I like enough to post only for it to flop. I have shit confidence and hate almost everything I do, and when anything I draw gets ANY notes; I feel better about it.

My most popular piece is only as popular as it is because I drew a specific character, but to outsiders it wouldn't seem like much: it's only just over 150 notes. Some people would call that a failure, but to me it's my best work on here.

God I could type up an essay on this but I don't think that people would want to read all of that.

SHOW PEOPLE IN YOUR FANDOMS THAT YOU SUPPORT THEM! People on here have this condition called 'hypocrisy' where they love to say that they support beginner artists, but they just hate beginner's work and refuse to support them.

Moral of the story, reblog art. Digital? Sure! Traditional? Even better!

Fandom: God there’s like NO content anymore. I wish we could get more art and fanfics :(((

Someone: Hey, I can’t draw anything digitally, because I can’t afford a tablet, but here’s a pen on paper drawing that I spent a lot of time and hard work on. Also, I took a shot at my first fanfic and I’d really like some feedback or at least some kudos if you enjoyed it :)

Fandom: Oh... yeah sorry no... not you. We actually meant writers that are already well known and popular to produce MORE content... I mean, if a popular blog shares your work then maybe. And we don’t really like pen to paper art. We just don’t think it’s professional or even looks good :/

[absurdthirst]

A Bumpy Road {Frankie Morales x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 12.6k

Warnings: Fake marriages, mentions of emotional alienation/affairs, fighting, drunk driving, death, feelings, injuries, mentions of surgeries, confessions, oral sex, vaginal sex, mentions of family planning

Comments: In order to stay on his team and keep his toxic ex in-laws from gaining custody of his daughter, Frankie does something crazy. He marries you, his friend. You need insurance and he needs someone to care for his daughter, ignoring how he feels about you until he ends up hurt on his deployment.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Frankie Morales MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

You have an idea, it’s outrageous, outlandish and completely insane but it might just actually work. You bite your lip nervously as Frankie paces in front of you, swiping his hands through his hair and it’s unusual to not hear the rasp of the shorter military high and tight he used to wear. Since being accepted into Delta, he had been allowed to grow his hair out past normal regulation, the need to look less like the soldier necessary for the ops he would be running. Unless he has to give up his entire career because of the three year old little girl currently napping in her room upstairs. 

“How could they do this?” Frankie hisses, angry and frustrated. Scared that they actually could take his daughter from him, terrified they would. “They can’t do this. I just- I asked for help while I was deployed! Not to take her from me!” It had been a mistake to reach out, to talk about his upcoming deployment. The papers had been delivered by a court server today. He was being sued for full custody of his little girl by his late wife’s family. 

Your mind races, trying to talk yourself out of the crazy idea but you can’t. It would work. Better yet, people who knew you would believe it. And Frankie could prove that he had care in place for his daughter, stability. The military would get off his back and his former in-laws would have no case. The bonus would be that you would have health insurance for the first time in years. “Frank.” You murmur quietly, following his frantic pacing. “Frankie!” You call louder, getting his attention this time as he stops mid-turn to look at you. “Marry me.”

His eyes widen, absorbing your words, and he thinks back on how damn long he’s been in love with you. It’s hard to think about but he nods, knowing that this is smart. You need your meds and the insurance will get them for you. He needs a caretaker for his daughter that isn’t his toxic former in-laws. “You’re a genius.” He declares and cups your cheek to kiss your forehead. “God, how - you are a goddamn angel, baby. That’s perfect. We can - we can get married before I deploy and then Ana can have someone - are you sure you want to take over caring for her? I know you babysit and when I’m away but - full time? It’s a lot of work.” He says, lowering his hands from your cheeks.

“I won’t lie and say that I’m not nervous.” You chuckle and melt at the soft, grateful expression in his warm eyes. “But she’s a good kid. And there’s the daycare, so I can still work.” The more you think about it, the more that you know it’s the right thing to do. “Ana loves me, and I know you don’t want to lose her or give up your spot on the team. The boys need you.” The fact that you have very strong feelings for Frankie doesn’t need to factor into this. “I say we get married quickly so you can let your in-laws know that it’s a losing case.”

Frankie can’t believe you’ve agreed to do this and he knows he will owe you for the rest of his life. He can’t lose his daughter but he also can’t leave his friends, his brothers, to go into danger without him. “I want you to pick a dress. I’ll pay for everything. Rings too. I- I want it to be us and Ana. No one else. She loves you already and I- are you sure you want to do this?” He asks, reaching for your hands to squeeze them.

“It’s not completely altruistic.” You remind him, knowing that he is aware of your need for health insurance. “I want to do this. I know we need to take care of things, power of attorney and things like that, but I want to help you, Francisco.” You promise quietly, imagining a small courthouse wedding with the handsome soldier. “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t sure. We’re friends. It’ll be easy.” 

Frankie nods, knowing you know him inside out, even the dark things he hides from the outside world. The dark sins he has committed. He leans in to kiss your forehead, “I think so too, I- I can’t believe I’m saying this but - but I can’t wait to marry you.” He smiles as he pulls back. You are his best friend and as much as he tries to deny it, he’s in love with you. He knows you’re better off in the dark on that particular sin. It wouldn’t benefit you to know that. His late wife knew and that’s what killed her. 

**** 

“Janet, please. Just calm down, sweetheart.” Frankie pleads, following his wife down the hall. Ana is crying, woken up by the screaming, and Frankie is desperate to deny what Janet is accusing him of. 

“You’re fucking in love with her! Just say it. I- you didn’t love me. Did you? It’s always been her.” Janet screams down the hall and Frankie shakes his head, unable to answer. When Janet got pregnant, he was just about to be called up for a deployment and he knew he had to do the right thing and marry her. He loved her, he did. In his own way. He can’t love her like he does you, though. You are the sun, the moon, the stars. Everything to him. He had done the right thing and married Janet but she was never you. When Ana came along, she became his world and he stayed for her, fought for her. 

When Frankie doesn’t answer again, Janet shakes her head. “I knew it. You bastard! You shouldn’t - you shouldn’t have married me. It’s over Frank. It’s done. I- fuck. I gotta - I gotta go.” Janet says, rushing towards the front door. 

“Wait. Don’t. You can’t fucking drive. You’ve had three glasses of wine.” Frankie growls, having long accepted that his wife became an alcoholic in his absence, drinking when the nights were lonely and Ana wouldn’t stop crying. He didn’t realize it until he came home from that first tour. 

“I’m fucking leaving otherwise if I stay in this house, I’m gonna kill Ana.” She threatens and Frankie growls, grabbing her purse. 

“You fucking - threatening the life of our daughter? You- I know you’re hurt but you’re a - get the fuck out. Go kill yourself on the goddamn road for all I care.” He growls, shoving her purse at her. She doesn’t say a word as she leaves and Frankie watches her drive down the street. 

Little did he know that he’d be getting a call an hour later to tell him that his wife had died in an accident, driven into a tree. He was upset, mostly for Ana, for the mother she’d never get to have. Janet looked after her well-being but was never affectionate or caring. Now she has no mother at all. “I’ll be right there.” He promises the cop and the next number he dials is yours. “Hey. Yeah, um, I know it’s late but can you come over? I need someone to watch Ana for me. I’ll explain when you get here.” He says and hangs up after you agree. His wife just died but his heart still beats at the sound of your voice. He’s committed many sins but tonight might just be the worst of all. 

****

“You don’t need to be nervous.” You remind yourself as you look in the mirror, hands trembling as you lean towards the glass and smudge a little more of your eyeliner into place. “It’s Frankie, he’s not- he doesn’t actually love you.” That stings more than you thought it would as you wear the white tea dress you had picked out to get married in. Feeling like a bride and yet not one all at the same time. It’s going to be just ten minutes before Frankie will be here to drive you to the courthouse to exchange vows. The marriage certificate is ready to be signed by the magistrate that will officially declare you Mrs. Francisco Javier Morales. The knock on the door startles you, and you look towards it before glancing back in the mirror. “It’s time.” 

When you answer the door, Frankie’s breath is taken away from him. You look devastatingly beautiful. “You look so pwetty.” Ana grins up at you and you look at her in her little white flower girl dress that is similar to yours, her hair done in what looks like an attempt to style it by Frankie. 

“She’s right. You look - you look incredible.” He says, his dark eyes meeting yours and he offers you a boyish grin.

Frankie is wearing his uniform, you had asked him to but it’s impossible to think of anything but how handsome he is wearing his medals. “Not nearly as incredible as you.” You reach out and your finger strokes his jaw. “You shaved.” Your finger grazes his lip and you pull back, aware that if you keep touching him, you will want to kiss him for real. “Every single woman in town is pissed at me today.” You promise. 

Frankie suppresses the shiver that runs through him at the way you caress his face and he knows it’s going to be hard not confessing how he feels. He knows you only think of him as a dear friend and even if, by some miracle, you didn’t, you wouldn’t be able to look past his sins. He’s not good enough for you. He blushes and clears his throat, “alongside every man.” He counters and Ana tugs on your hand, “daddy got me petals.” She holds up the basket that she insisted Frankie get her. She had heard about flower girls from her friends in pre-school and she insisted Frankie let her throw the petals down before you walk down the aisle. “I know it’s only a courthouse wedding but Ana wanted to make it special.”

“Thank you, Ana.” You bend down to look the little girl in the eyes, knowing how excited that she is. For her, this is exciting and fun, something that she will play with her friends the next time she sees them in school. “You are the prettiest little flower girl I have ever seen.” You promise, making her smile and you reach out to cup her little cheek. “Now I know your daddy talked to you about it, but how would you like me to come stay with you and daddy? Help him make breakfast and do your hair? Would you like that?” 

Ana nods, her eyes wide, “yes! Daddy never gets my hair right.” She says with a pout, “are you my new mommy?” She asks and Frankie had spoken to her about this. How you were going to come live with them, how you were going to be his new friend and that her mommy was still with her. He hates how selfish Janet was to drink and drive and the guilt he felt when she died after he all but forced her into the car, but there was something in her eyes. He’s seen that look before. She would’ve hurt Ana and he couldn’t allow that to happen.

“I-” You frown slightly, unsure of what to say to the young girl. “I would like to be your friend. A good friend. But I also don’t want you to feel like I am trying to become your mommy unless you would like that.” It might be a little more than a three year old understands, but you don’t want her to feel like she has to forget Janet. 

Frankie kneels beside his daughter, “your mommy is your angel, remember? She’s gonna look after you.” Frankie smiles and says your name, “she’s gonna be your friend when daddy is gone fighting the bad guys, okay? You are safe with her and she loves you as much as daddy does.” Frankie knows his job is much more complicated than good guys and bad guys but it’s how he can explain to a three year old that he’s gonna be gone for so long. He hates missing huge parts of her life but he can’t let his team down. 

“Okay daddy.” She hands him the basket and steps closer to wrap her small arms around your neck.

You smile at the two of them together and you know that you are doing the right thing. You are giving Frankie the opportunity to keep his daughter here with him so he can come home to her when he can. “Are you ready to go throw the petals down, sweetheart?” You ask softly. “I bet daddy will take us out for ice cream after.” 

Ana grins and nods, squealing “lets go!” 

Frankie chuckles and stands up, holding his hand out to his daughter and he winks at you, “lets go get hitched, baby.” You smile and he holds his arm out to you, guiding his girls to his truck. 

****

Ana beams as she tosses the flowers on the floor, Frankie would say in heaps more than scattered but he chuckles and she comes to stand beside him. When you walk down the small aisle, Frankie exhales shakily, his heart pounding and he’s certain you can tell he’s sweating. When you stand in front of him, you beckon Ana to stand between you and Frankie knows he’s made the right choice for his daughter. It’s always been you.

The magistrates ceremony is brief and you barely remember any of it, grinning like an idiot as you stand there with Frankie, imagining if this were actually real. “Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?” He asks, making you swallow harshly before you squeeze his hands. “I do.” You promise clearly.

Frankie nearly yells “I do” but manages to control himself, staring into your eyes as the officiant declares you husband and wife. “You may now kiss the bride.” Frankie knows this could be the only chance he gets to kiss you so he leans in to cup your cheek, pressing his lips to yours and he is firm but not demanding. It’s not brief but it doesn’t drag, despite Frankie wanting to pull you against him and slide his tongue into your mouth. This is an agreement between friends and nothing more. He pulls back and smiles, looking down at Ana between you who looks happy. This feels right. After signing the marriage certificate, Frankie takes your hand to guide you and Ana back to his truck. “I - I hope you don’t mind…it was supposed to be a surprise but the guys put together some food and drinks at Tom and Molly’s.

“Really?” Your mouth drops open in shock and you smile when he nods. “Oh my god, that’s so sweet.” You gush before you frown. “Wait.” Twisting in your seat, you watch as Frankie buckles Ana into her car seat. “Do they- uh, know what the situation is?” You ask softly, unsure of what you can say around them. 

Frankie shakes his head. “No.” He finishes pulling the strap up Ana’s chest and looks over at you. “I wanted them to be able to truthfully say they believe it is real.” He explains, making you nod in understanding. There’s the possibility that Frankie’s in-laws could still come for custody or challenge the validity of the marriage and it’s better if everyone thought this was real. “Got it. Happy newlyweds.”

Frankie is grateful that you’re going along with this. He knows it benefits you too but it’s a lot to ask, to pretend to be married to him. The drive to Tom’s house is quiet and when you knock on the front door, Molly opens it with a “congratulations!” You grin and Frankie holds your hand and Ana’s as he walks inside. All of his team are there, several of your mutual friends, and Frankie is blushing when they shout “congratulations.”

“Hot damn!” Benny bellows, making you automatically grin as the younger Miller brother bounds into view. “Fish got married! You son of a bitch, you hid it from us!” He tackles Frankie in a bear hug while Molly pulls you in for a  hug. “What? Afraid she’d see me in my dress uniform and run off with me?” Ben teases, pulling back to grin at his friend before he scoops you up in a hug. “She wouldn’t have done that? Would you, sweetheart? You’ve been in love with ole Fish for years.” Benny teases.

Frankie picks Ana up, not wanting her to be excluded and he tries to ignore the comment, aware that people have thought you and him have been in love with each other for years. It’s true on his side but he doesn’t fool himself into thinking you love him as more than a friend. “Shut up Benny, my wife has good taste.” He jokes and Pope walks over. 

“Couldn’t pick a best man so you decided to do it solo?” Pope jokes and Frankie gives him a one armed hug. 

“Uncle Pope!” Ana cheers as Santi takes her into his arms, “hey chiquita.” He kisses the cheek of his goddaughter. 

Frankie smiles, turning towards Will. “You finally did it, huh? You convinced her to marry you, you son of a bitch.” He chuckles and Frankie hugs his friend. 

“Guess so.” He grins as you greet your friends and they admire the ring Frankie had bought you. He had spent quite a bit of money on it, wanting to make something about this situation real.

The party is fantastic but after a few hours you are ready to leave. Not because anyone is rude, but the jokes about you being pregnant before Frankie leaves for deployment and giving Ana a sibling just curl in your stomach. Knowing that you are never going to have that with your husband because he didn’t marry you for love. He married you for Ana and to fight off his in-laws. With the little girl passed out against her father’s shoulder, you use that as an excuse. “We need to get her home. Today was a big day for her.” You tell Molly when she offers to keep Ana overnight so you and Frankie can have some time alone. “I think we will settle in better if she’s there with us.”

Frankie nods, aware that he won’t be getting a wedding night. He’s not that stupid. He would never ever ask it of you. “She’s right. I want Ana to feel settled since we are leaving soon.” He says and rubs your back with his free hand. “Let’s go, sweetheart.” He murmurs and he keeps Ana in his arms while he says goodbye to his friends, knowing he will see them soon.

In his truck, you look over after he’s pulled away from Tom and Molly’s. “We didn’t discuss sleeping arrangements.” You realize, rolling your eyes at yourself. “I can stay at my apartment until you leave, but I would rather Ana get used to me being there.” You admit. “Or I can stay in the guest room if you prefer? When Ana notices that we aren’t sleeping in the same bed, you can say that you don’t sleep well beside me? Or….” you bite your lip, imagining curling up next to him. “We are both adults. We can sleep next to each other, right? You have a king sized bed.” 

“We can share a bed. We are adults. Not like we haven’t before.” He reminds you of when he used to get drunk and end up in your tiny one bed apartment, seeking solace and a late meal after a night out with the boys. “Besides, I think it would be best if Ana thinks this is real. I want her to think that this is real so she is happy with you. Not that I don’t think you’re not - you know what I’m saying, right?” He asks as he drives to his house.

“I know what you mean.” Reaching out, you pat his hand and give him a smile when he looks over at you. “It’s a good thing we’ve started carting some of my things over, right?” You have every intention of selling most of your things, since Frankie’s is already established and your furniture holds no sentimental attachment for you. “We can go get my ID and everything tomorrow. Get me set up in the system as your wife?”

Frankie nods, “yeah. We will sort everything out tomorrow.” His heart pounds in his chest at hearing you call yourself his wife and he swallows harshly, knowing that nothing can be done. For your sake and Ana’s. He can’t fuck this up by letting his feelings get involved. He sighs and pulls into his driveway, killing the engine and he’s careful as he takes Ana out of her car seat.

As Frankie takes Ana to lay her down, you take the bag that Frankie had brought over into the master bathroom so you can change out of your wedding dress into some comfortable pajamas. They aren’t fancy or sexy but you had bought some new, cute sleeping clothes since you would be sharing a house with Frankie. Washing the makeup off and taking your hair out of the careful style you had put it in for the ceremony. Looking more like your normal self when you open the door to find your new husband in the bedroom you will share. 

Frankie is carefully hanging up his uniform when he sees you and his heart clenches at how fucking beautiful you look. He feels guilty that he’s got you in this situation, in a marriage of convenience when you deserve all the love in the world. He strips down to his boxers, pulling a plain shirt out to pull on. “You want some water?” He asks, clearing his throat and you nod so he ventures into the kitchen, exhaling shakily to force himself to calm down. This isn’t a real wedding night. “Here you go, sweetheart.” He says and hands you the glass.

“Thank you.” You sit on the end of the bed and take a sip of the water, trying to calm your nerves and you sigh. “I know that this is- that we aren’t actually together, but I want you to know that I’m not going to embarrass you while you are deployed.” You tell him. It's been a long time since you’ve dated but just because you aren’t really Frankie’s wife in all senses doesn’t mean you are going to mess around with anyone. “You don’t have to worry about that.” 

Frankie comes to sit down beside you, reaching for your hand. “I- I know this isn’t easy but if you do meet someone…you need to tell me and we end this. I shouldn’t - I don’t want to get in the way of the rest of your life. I love you - for - for doing this for me, and I will never be able to repay you. You’ve helped me keep Ana and I’ll forever be in your debt. I can’t - I can’t hold you back if you find someone and want to live your own life.” It kills him to say it, hating the thought of you with anyone else but he can’t be selfish, not when you’ve done so much for him.

It’s hard not to immediately assure him that you would never meet anyone else. Not when you are in love with him and no one has ever stood up against Frankie in your heart. Instead, you nod. “And I want you to do the same thing. You deserve to be happy, Frankie and when you meet someone that does that for you….” You give him a weak smile and go for a joke. “It will be the easiest divorce in the history of divorces.”

Frankie chuckles softly, his heart sinking but he ignores that and leans in to kiss your cheek. “Let’s get some sleep. It’s been a long day and I know Ana will be waking us up with excitement to have our first day together. I want to do as much as I can with her before I leave. Tomorrow, let’s go get you in the system and go for breakfast.” He says and lets go of your hand so he can slide under the covers.

Frankie has his side of the bed established, so you climb in on the other side. Knowing that you don’t mind it and you are thankful that his bed is comfortable. “It was a good wedding, Frankie.” You murmur as you lay down beside him. “Thank you. For not thinking that I was crazy.” You grin at him, knowing that he is also thankful you are willing to do this. “Goodnight hubby.”

“Goodnight wifey.” Frankie chuckles, leaning over to turn the lamp off and you curl up, falling asleep pretty quickly. He doesn’t. Staying awake and listening to your soft snores, murmurs, and breathing. His heart aches for you, to curl around you and breathe you in. He can’t ruin this. You don’t feel the same way, you want the insurance and to help him out. It takes a while but eventually he falls asleep, unaware that he had ended up doing the thing he was trying to avoid: curling around you.

Waking up in Frankie’s arms is a special kind of hell. Because you know that this is only because he’s asleep and not because he’s decided that he wants you in the middle of the night. Even if the very prominent hardness pressed against your ass makes you want to pretend that he does. The good thing is that Frankie is a heavy sleeper when he’s home so you manage to wiggle away from him before you wake him up. “Morning.” You huff when he starts to stir. “I have to pee, go back to sleep.” You urge softly.

He grumbles, hugging the pillow you were sleeping on, inhaling your scent from it, and he falls asleep again, wanting to make the most of this time at home. When you walk into the kitchen, you decide to get a start on making some coffee and eventually, Frankie wakes up, rolling onto his back and willing his morning wood to disappear. When the mental attempt is fruitless, he gets into the shower. Groaning as he wraps his hand around his cock, he remembers the dream he was having of you underneath him, celebrating your wedding night for real.

In the kitchen, you are reminding yourself that Frankie is just a man who wakes up with a hardon. It doesn’t mean that he wants to throw you up on the counter and fuck you. Deciding that you will make a small breakfast for Ana, giving Frankie some space and allowing you to cool down.

“Fuck. Oh fuck.” Frankie groans, jerking himself as his cum paints the shower wall. He’s lost track of how many times he’s imagined fucking you while in this shower. After cleaning off the shower and himself, Frankie brushes his teeth and shaves, getting dressed just in time for you to finish Ana’s breakfast. “Thank you for doing that.” Frankie says and fixes himself a cup of coffee after he sees you already have a cup.

“Of course.” Ana squawks over the baby monitor, obviously just waking up and you smile. “Do you want to get her or do you want me to start getting into a routine?” You ask, before you answer your own question. “Let me get her. I’ll be right back.”

Frankie watches you go, sipping his coffee and smiling as he listens to Ana sleepily say good morning on the monitor before she realizes you’re still there and she is excited, telling you how she wants to make cupcakes and show you all her dolls. It makes Frankie feel comforted that his little girl will be looked after while he’s gone. “Morning baby girl.” He greets her when she walks into the kitchen, eyes still sleepy and he picks her up to kiss her cheek. 

“Daddy. I want pancakes.” She demands and Frankie chuckles, “we will get pancakes later baby.” He says your name, “she made you some eggs for now.”

Ana frowns slightly and shakes her little head. “I no want eggs.” She pouts, crossing her arms and you try not to smile at the ferocious little look on her face. 

“Oh, well..” you sigh softly, “I guess you don’t have to eat the eggs. Even though they give you lots of energy to play.” You tell her softly. “Especially since this is just supposed to be first breakfast.”

“First breakfast?” She pipes up and Frankie nods, “yeah. Pancakes are second breakfast. But only if you eat the first breakfast. You wanna show off all your dolls, right baby girl? You gotta have energy to do that and eggs give you that.” Frankie explains to his daughter who lowers her arms. 

“With ketchup.” She insists, walking over to you.

Laughing, you turn back towards the refrigerator. “Eggs with ketchup, got it.” You don’t miss the way Frankie winces and you wonder if it’s something that she had learned from Janet. Frankie’s first wife had never hidden the fact that she hadn’t liked you, so you had tried to give her the distance she wanted, though you weren’t going to stop being friends with the guys or Frankie for her. “After you eat, I’ll help you get dressed and we will do your hair, how does that sound?” 

Frankie is reminded of Janet, who he used to make fun of for having eggs with ketchup and she used to make it for Ana when she started eating solids. “Can I have braids?” She asks, wanting to have her hair different from the styles Frankie just about manages to put together. “Of course, sweetheart.” You say and Frankie smiles as he watches Ana hug your leg.

Breakfast goes easy for Ana and you leave Frankie to clean up the kitchen while you and Ana go to get ready. The young girl sitting extremely still for a three year old, excited for her braids. You don’t blame her. The dolly she had introduced you two had braids and she wanted to look like her. Making her gasp in the mirror when she looks at her reflection.

When Ana comes out, squealing happily about her braids, Frankie ooohs and awws and tells her how pretty she looks. He winks at you, “you did a good job, baby.” He says and he doesn’t even think about the nickname he calls you and Ana admires the braids. “You wanna get ready and I’ll entertain the little lady?” Frankie suggests.

“Thanks.” You nod and try not to take his nickname to heart. It’s just practice for when you are in public and around others. “I’ll try not to be too long,” you promise, turning and heading towards the bedroom where your bag is. You need to shower and plan on doing just basic makeup for your ID photo.

****

Frankie glances over at you while he drives, admiring your profile in the sun and his gaze drops down to his ring on your finger. It makes his heart twist that he didn’t propose to you properly but again, he’s reminded that this isn’t real. “You got everything?” He asks while looking in the mirror at Ana who is admiring her Barbie.

“Social security, birth certificate, marriage certificate, driver’s license.” You go through all your documents and grin. “Yep. Although now I need to change all of that too. To reflect the last name Morales.” Your stomach twists pleasantly and you remind yourself that you are a Morales in name only. “Plus a passport change. That’s the one I dread.”

“It’ll be fine. You’ll have the insurance soon. Do you have enough meds to last?” He asks, knowing you have been halving the dose and he hates that, seeing how it has taken a toll on you. You aren’t your usual self and he wants to see you’re okay before he leaves.

“Yes.” You bite your lip and reach for his hand on the gear shifter. “Thank you Frankie. This is- I am grateful. I hated choosing between my medications and eating sometimes.” You hate how expensive it is to live when you don’t have health insurance and your job does not provide employer insurance since you are technically a contractor.

Frankie exhales, hating that you have to even choose. “Fucking country.” He huffs under his breath, knowing that he fights for freedom but those freedoms don’t allow you to have what you need when you desperately need it. He pulls into the parking lot of the administration building and comes around to open your door, helping you out before he moves to unbuckle Ana.

“Thank you.” You feel your cheeks heat up from Frankie’s attention to manners. You grab the diaper bag just in case and the three of you make your way to the first office to have you officially added to Frankie’s record as his wife and dependent. You will have to memorize his social security number because that is how they will give you the services you need from now on.

Frankie remembers adding Janet to his file when she was newly pregnant before he was first deployed and he squeezes your hand as you walk out, officially added as his dependent. He will call his lawyer later to tell them about the wedding so he can get Janet’s parents to drop their custody case. For now, he’s going to take his family to breakfast. 

****

“Silly daddy!” Ana giggles when he puts the empty glass to his eye and pretends to look at her through it. Pancakes eaten and bellies full, he hasn’t been this happy in a long time, glancing at you when he lowers the glass from his face.

Frankie is such a good father and it makes your heart pound. Imagining that you are a real family and wishing that you could be looking forward to giving Ana a little brother or sister. “Daddy is silly.” You tease, sending him a smile.

He chuckles, reaching for your hand so he can caress the ring with his thumb. “Daddy is silly!” Ana giggles and leans into Frankie’s side. He cuddles her with his free arm, knowing it’s going to be hard to leave but he has to, he can’t abandon his brothers. 

**** 

“Is she asleep?” You ask as Frankie walks into the kitchen. 

“Out like a light.” He tells you and groans in appreciation when you hand him the bottle of beer. He leaves in a few days and tomorrow he begins to prep for his departure. He has one last night to spend with you in relaxation. 

“You wanna finish that show?” You ask and he nods, watching you dish up the pasta that you’ve been cooking after giving Ana her simple buttered noodles earlier. 

“Sure baby.” The nickname comes naturally now and it slips off of his tongue without thought.

Your evenings have been so natural, perfect together. The friendship between the two of you had made it easy to be around each other and the only thing that you are struggling with is to not try to jump Frankie. He’s so sexy, especially when he comes home in his uniform. Waiting until he’s asleep to touch yourself while you are laying next to him at night or using your toy in the shower before Ana gets up is the only relief that you are getting. Bringing the pasta over to the couch, you sit down beside him and hand him his bowl. “Hopefully we figure out if they are going to get together this episode. I don’t want to wait until next season to find out.” 

“Probably not. It’s the waiting that makes the end result sweeter, don’t you think?” He asks, thanking you for the food and he hits play on the show. “Fuck, this is good.” He groans after swallowing the first bite. You are a damn good cook and he is going to miss your food when he’s got MREs on the menu. You eat in companionable silence, it’s comfortable and he loves that he can just be himself around you. Janet’s parents were furious to hear Frankie had married you, having heard from their daughter about how she thought he loved you more than her. Still, they didn’t have a case anymore so it was dropped

“Oh, I hope you don’t mind.” You start as you turn towards him. “I told Ana that we will drop you off together. She wants to see you off and I couldn’t say no. I think it will help her understand why daddy has to be gone for a long time.” You know this will be the first deployment that she will remember and you want it to be as good as it can for her. “I also got you one of those recordable books. You know? The ones that we saw in the toy store? That way you can read her bedtime story anytime she’s missing daddy.” 

Frankie swears he falls in love with you even more in that moment. Watching you with his daughter, how caring you are, how much you love her, it makes him want to stay and just spend the rest of his life with you, not missing a moment. When you were in the kitchen baking cookies with Ana last weekend, he imagined you pregnant with his child and it’s almost too easy to envision. “Yeah? That’s a great idea. I’ll do that tomorrow when she’s napping. I-I’m worried that she’s gonna forget all about me.” He admits his deepest fear, knowing he could potentially leave his daughter an orphan if he were to die on this deployment. It keeps him awake at night.

“I’m not going to let that happen.” You promise him softly, reaching over and taking his hand. “You have your will set up, you know I will make sure that if something happens, she knows all about her wonderful father, Francisco Morales.” You bite your lip. “Maybe you can record some videos for her? Send them to my phone to show her when she’s needing to see your face?” You know that video chatting will be sparse, sometimes impossible, but you want to make sure that she remembers him. “And we are going to be making you care packages.”

He smiles, unshed tears stinging in his eyes as he squeezes your hand. “You are amazing. I- I know this is - this is hard but I want you to know that I love you. You’re my best friend and I couldn’t do any of this without you.” He admits, “I owe you everything, baby.” He blinks and a tear escapes, allowing himself a moment of vulnerability, knowing that you’d never think of him as weak or not enough. He trusts you implicitly.

Your heart aches because you know that he doesn’t mean ‘love’ like you wish that he would. Still, you swallow down your feelings and lean over to kiss his cheek. “I love you too, Frankie.” You promise him quietly. You do, you love him with everything that you are and you always will. “I promise you that I will hold down the fort until you can get back home.”

**** 

It’s early and Frankie knows Ana is sleepy but she insists she comes to say goodbye to her daddy. The enormous hangar is full of families saying goodbye to their soldiers, some for the first time, others are well practiced in this. Frankie adjusts his pack over his shoulder when he sees his team. Tom saying goodbye to Molly and the girls, Will and Benny saying goodbye to their mom. Pope saying goodbye to his current girlfriend. “Come here, baby girl.” Frankie says, bending down to pick Ana up after setting his pack down once he’s standing with the team, not wanting to tear up in case it upsets his daughter more than it should.

“Daddy, I don’t want you to go.” Ana sniffles and you reach over to rub her little back. She had been very brave while Frankie was packing and had even stuffed a picture she had drawn for him in one of the pockets. “I want you to stay with mommy and me.” 

Frankie has mixed feelings, so happy that Ana is comfortable enough to call you mommy but he’s sad that she doesn’t remember Janet. As much as he resented her mother for what she became, he wants Ana to know her mother. Your eyes widen slightly and he knows he will email you to discuss this when he can. Now isn’t the time or place. “I know, baby girl.” He kisses her hair, “but I can’t stay. I gotta go fight bad guys, remember? You’ll be safe here with mommy and I promise you, I’ll come home as soon as I can. I will call you as many times as I can. I love you. So much.” He chokes a little and swallows the lump in his throat.

You know that it’s important for you to kiss Frankie goodbye, everyone around would expect it. You lean in and kiss his cheek. “I’m going to miss you. We are going to miss you. Take care of yourself please.” You beg him quietly. “Come home to us.” 

Frankie doesn’t know if he will come back and he nudges his nose against yours, “I- can I kiss you goodbye? Properly?” He asks, knowing it’s important for him to show you are his wife to anyone watching. You nod, unable to speak, and he cups your cheek, pressing his lips against yours. It’s brief but he tries to pour as much into it as possible. Ana clings to him as he nudges his nose against yours again before he pulls back. “I’m going to miss you, baby.” He tells you, adjusting Ana on his hip and he gets the minute warning to say goodbye.

Taking Ana, both you and she give Frankie a tearful goodbye, another fierce hug before he is walking away. His daughter is clinging to you as you both wave frantically as he boards a bus to take them to the plane. “Okay, baby girl.” You murmur softly, stroking her back as the little girl tucks her face against your neck. “We’re going to be okay. We’ll talk to daddy soon.” 

Frankie looks back at you before he boards the bus. Walking away is the hardest thing he has to do but he does it because he cannot turn back. He has to be there with his team. With a sigh, he steps onto the bus and takes a seat, unable to tear his eyes away from you and Ana as the bus pulls away. Pope slaps his shoulder, “they will be okay, hermano.” He promises and Frankie silently prays he’s right.

****

“Hello?” You quickly answer the phone, hoping that it is Frankie, letting you know that he’s gotten to his base overseas. “Frank, is that you?” You fumble for the light beside the bed and sit up. It’s late, or early but you don’t care. Ana groans next to you, having slept in the same bed for the last couple of nights since Frankie had left. “Hello?”

“Hey baby.” Frankie smiles against the phone when he hears your voice. He’s aware of how late it is there but he wants to hear your voice. He’s going to his op brief in the morning, diving straight into it, and he doesn’t know how long he will be dark for. 

“Hey.” You reply sleepily and Frankie’s heart twists, remembering how you’d curl into his chest during the night. 

“Just wanted to let you know I’m safe. Fucking cold here right now. How are you? How’s Ana?”

“She’s good.” You look over at his spot to see his daughter sprawled across his pillow and taking up even more room than he does if that's possible. “She’s sleeping in your spot. Wanted to cuddle daddy’s pillow.” You murmur quietly so you don’t disturb her. “I won’t let her get used to it, but she needs some comfort right now.”

“I miss her already. So much. I, uh, I want you to give her the bear tomorrow.” He says. He’d gone to the mall to Build A Bear and recorded his voice, telling Ana how much he loves her, and he wants her to have it now that he’s gone. The bear is wearing a uniform like daddy does. “How are you doing? I know it’s a lot to look after her alone.”

“Taking it one day at a time, baby.” You tell him. Thank god for her pre-school, allowing for you to work without having to entertain her. “Molly promised to come over and help out, we will get along just fine.” Reaching over, you pull up her covers and smile when she frowns just like Frankie does. “The bear will be the first thing she sees when she wakes up, I promise.”

“Good. I- I’m heading out any day now. Not sure when, but I’ll be dark for a while until we come back to base. I- I don’t know what’s gonna happen out there but I want you to know that you and Ana mean everything to me.” He confesses, wanting to leave you with that as his time is nearly up.

“We’ll be waiting to hear from you and putting together your first care package.” You hate how your stomach twists but you put on a brave front for him. 

“Sounds good. I gotta go now, sweetheart. I- I’ll talk to you soon.” He promises, aware of how much he wants to say to you but he can’t. He has to stay strong and not drag you into his stupid emotions. “Bye Frankie.” You murmur and he smiles, “bye baby.” He says and hangs up, closing his eyes and he knows this is going to be harder than ever.

**

You knew that this wasn’t going to be easy. Living in his house, raising his daughter. But it has moments where you can’t imagine anything else. Packing up care packages with his favorite things inside for him to have a bit of home and shipping them off faithfully. Living with your phone nearby at all times, because you don’t want to miss his calls. They are few and far between, but emails are regular, making you create a file folder to keep them all in. It’s been three months and you are finally settled into being Frankie’s dependent.

Frankie devours every email, every photo, every damn video you send of Ana. He wishes you’d include photos of you - not sexual, he just misses your smile. “Baby girl, daddy misses you.” He tells Ana on the video chat, back on base after a few hard hitting missions and he’s glad to see his daughter’s face. “Mommy. Give daddy a kiss!” Ana demands, having been kissing the phone to Frankie herself making his heart yearn for his family.

“Hey!” You light up when you see Frankie on the screen. Your hand automatically goes to your hair. You haven’t done it and you are wearing leggings and one of his t-shirts while you clean. Not your best look. “It’s good to see you, baby. How are you?” You think he looks tired but you don’t want to say that. You know he’s been out of communication so he’s been outside the wire.

God, you’re gorgeous. Frankie inhales sharply and bites his lip, “I’m good. Exhausted. We think we are gonna be sent out again. It’s - it’s rough.” He admits, running his hand through his hair. He realizes you are wearing his shirt and his cock twitches, knowing he’s gonna imagine you wearing just that when he goes to shower. “I miss you.” Frankie says softly.

“I miss you too.” Admitting that is easy. You miss your friend. The man you have fallen in love with. “Ana has a playdate on Saturday. We are going to Chuck E Cheese with one of the little girls from her preschool and her mom. Her dad is on the deployment with you.” You ramble, filling him in on all the small things about the time he’s been out of communication. “And we started a countdown for your tentative return.” You grin and angle the camera towards the calendar, showing where you’ve been marking off days.

Frankie hates that you’re waiting on him but he loves it at the same time, having a family to come home to. It keeps him going. It allows him to put his entire being into making sure he flies the team out of danger. It motivates him. “Hopefully I won’t be a day late coming back to you.” He says, asking you how your work is. Menial conversation but it means the world to him, he loves how simple it is to hear about your day but compared to the horrors he sees, he appreciates it.

You know that the call will have to end soon. Plenty of others want to talk to their loved ones. “We are planning on mailing you another package since Benny ate all your Oreos.” You laugh. “I put in a package for him so he doesn’t steal yours .”

Frankie grins, “thanks baby. I could’ve killed him when he bragged about stealing my cookies with the goddamn crumbs in his teeth.” Frankie shakes his head and Ana rushes up to the phone. “Daddy! Mommy got me a Barbie!” She holds her new doll up and Frankie admires it, reminded of how good you are with her. He’s not sure what will happen in the long run. When you meet someone and want to divorce. It will kill him but he will do it. “Okay my loves. I gotta go. Ana, sweetheart, I love you.” He says and she blows him a kiss, “love you daddy.” He looks at you, “I love you too. I’ll call when I can.” He promises and you nod, “bye Frank.” You blow him a kiss and he knows he will be thinking of that all afternoon.

****

“Coming!” Drying your hands on a dish towel, you rush towards the door, wondering who it can be. Maybe Molly, she had said she would drop by. Your friendly smile freezes the second that you open the door and see uniforms. Heart sinking, you feel like you’re going to be sick. You’ve seen this scene in a movie way too many times. “No-“ you gasp out, making the one with the silver leaf on his lapels remove his hat- or cover as Frankie called it. 

“Mrs. Morales?” You can’t breathe, you can’t speak as you imagine the next words, praying that you are finding yourself in the middle of a nightmare. “I am sorry to report that your husband has been injured in combat. He was shot multiple times and is currently being flown to Germany. You are his medical power of attorney and we need you to consent to surgery for when he arrives.” His words almost sound like you’re underwater. “Mrs. Morales, do you understand?” He asks you with a frown.

You blink stupidly at him for several moments before his words sink in. “He’s alive?” You whisper, reaching out for his arm desperately. “Frankie’s alive? Yes, yes whatever they need.” You rush out, tears streaming down your face. “Oh god, Germany?” You swallow. “I need to be there. I need to go be with him.”

“We have already arranged for you to go to Germany. Pack your bag now and we will wait. There’s no time to waste.” He says and you nod, rushing into the house to the bedroom to frantically pack a bag, grabbing your passport, and you go into Ana’s room, grabbing things for her, and you are grateful that Frankie got her a passport in hopes of taking her to Chile to see his distant cousins one day. “Mommy? What’s wrong?” She asks with a frown after she stops playing.

“Honey.” Bending down, you brush Ana’s hair back. “Daddy - daddy got hurt. He’s going to be okay, but we have to go visit him. Cheer him up.” You don’t want to scare her, but how do you explain to a three year old that her dad was in surgery after getting shot. “Can you be a big girl and come with me now? We have to be good because it’s a long trip.”

“Daddy’s hurt?” She asks, her lower lip trembling and you nod, “yes but we are going to kiss his boo boos better, okay? Can you be a good girl and pick out some toys for us to take?” You ask, grabbing her backpack and she nods, picking up her favorite dolls to take on the trip. Once you’re all packed up, you alarm the house and lock it, stepping out to the men waiting for you.

It’s surreal, being driven to a plane that is scheduled to take off in just a few hours. Apparently they had delayed it and you’ll never know if it was them or providence that had you up in the air so quickly and on your way to Germany. Praying the entire time that Frankie would be okay as you tried to entertain Ana, worried what you might learn when you land.

****

“Morning baby.” Frankie smiles, kissing along your neck. 

“Hmmm. Morning.” You grind back against his hard cock and smile, “someone is eager to start the day.” 

Frankie chuckles, sliding his hand under the t-shirt you’re wearing to cup your tit. “Always when it involves you.” He rasps, pinching your nipple and you whimper when he slides his hand down your belly after letting go of your breast. It’s starting to round, you’ll have to announce that you’re pregnant soon and Frankie knows you won’t be able to wait long after you both tell Ana. She will spill the beans within hours. His hand slides lower to disappear into your panties and he wastes no time rubbing your clit. Your soft moan has him biting down on your shoulder, grinding against you. 

“Fuck, Frankie.” You whine softly and he smiles against your skin, “mmm love it when you moan my name. My beautiful wife.” He sighs and pushes two fingers inside of your wet cunt, making you turn your head to find his lips. His tongue slides into your mouth as he pumps his fingers, loving the way you push your pleasured sounds into his mouth to muffle them. It doesn’t take you long to cum, sensitive from the hormones, and he pushes you over the edge by twisting his wrist to press his thumb to your clit. “Cum for me.” He begs against your lips and you fall apart with a cry of his name. He kisses along your jaw, working you through it until he’s pulling his fingers out of you. 

There’s a beeping noise and he frowns, looking over at the nightstand. “Did you get a new alarm clock?” He asks and you shake your head. 

“No. Frankie? Frankie?” Your face blurs and he’s back into the void.

**

“Frankie.” You carry Ana, rushing through the hospital behind the nurse who is bringing you to his room. He’s out of surgery but he hasn’t woken up yet. The danger is still there but he’s stable. Tears stream down your face when you see him looking grey and still in the hospital bed, hooked up to the heart monitor. “Oh god, Frankie, we’re here.” You promise, rubbing Ava’s back. “It’s okay baby,” the little girl has turned away from the sight of her daddy in the bed and tucked her face into the crook of your neck. “He’s okay, he’s sleeping. Trying to feel better.” The doctor had explained his injuries and the surgery and you are so damn thankful he survived.

Ana whimpers, “is daddy okay?” She asks and your heart breaks at the fearful tone to the voice. 

“Yeah, baby girl. Daddy is gonna be fine.” You try to be positive, hoping that he’s going to be okay. 

**

You’re not sure how many hours have passed. Ana is asleep on the chair, curled up after the hospital staff brought her and you some food. Time will tell if Frankie wakes up, his head and chest bandaged and you can’t seem to look away from the rise and fall of his chest, the beeping of the heart monitor reminding you that he’s still here.  When he does wake up, he blinks, wincing at the bright light above, and he tries to remember what happened.

“Oh thank god.” You sigh breathlessly when you feel him shift, looking up to find his eyes slowly opening. “Frankie. It’s okay, take it easy.” You don’t want him to be startled or scared. Squeezing his hand gently. “It’s me. You’re in the hospital in Germany.” Trying to keep your voice soothing until he turns to head to look at you.

His throat is so dry. Like he has been stranded in the desert for days without water. He swallows, trying to speak, and he tries to remember what happened but all he can say is “love you.” His dreams were lucid, showing him what life could be like. A life spent with you and Ana. You as his wife, his actual wife, not some paper so you can get healthcare. He closes his eyes again, feeling exhausted.

“I love you too.” You cry, relieved that he’s okay. That he’s awake. The fear and the anxiety make you sob as you lean forward and kiss his hand. “I’m so- god, I’m so - god I was so worried.”

The nurse comes in to check on you at that moment and you turn towards her, “he’s awake.” The nurse nods and comes over to Frankie, ushering you away and pushing the button to summon the rest of the medical team to assess Frankie who is still half drugged up but aware of his surroundings.

You move over towards Ana, leaning over and checking on her while the doctors and nurses come into the room. Smiling as she cuddles the beat that had his voice recorded in it while she sleeps. You have to talk to him. You can’t do this. Not when you really love him. You can’t pretend you don’t want a real future with him while playing as his wife.

The medical team eventually filters out and the doctor approaches to tell you that Frankie’s vitals all look good. He was shot in the head but it was just scraped and didn’t go in. He had a bullet to the chest which punctured his lung but didn’t go near his heart, and a bullet to the shoulder. He’s lucky to be alive but he should make a recovery as long as he’s stable.

Listening to the doctor, you are so damn thankful for the fact that Frankie pulled through as well as he has, hugging yourself as you hear the prognosis and what will happen going forward with rehab for him. “Thank you.” You murmur as the doctor leaves, letting you move back towards Frankie. You can tell that he’s about to fall asleep as you take his hand again. “Baby, I-” you choke out the words, new tears falling and you just squeeze his hand again, unable to get the words out. Frankie’s eyes flutter closed again and his breathing evens out as he falls asleep again. 

****

“Daddy! Mommy wants pancakes.” Ana declares and Frankie chuckles, “oh she does? I guess it is Mother’s Day after all.” Frankie says as he slides the pancakes he was already making onto the plate. “Come on then. Let’s go.” Frankie says once he’s got everything and Ana opens the door for him to find you holding the baby, breastfeeding him. 

“Happy Mommy Day!” Ana declares and you smile, looking up at Frankie as he holds the tray. 

“Happy Mother’s Day.” He says and kisses your cheek even though he showed you how much he loves you this morning before the kids woke up. “I’ll hold him while you eat.” Frankie offers after his son pulls off of your breast. You nod and Frankie takes the baby into his arms, certain that this is a dream. The life he’s always wanted with the woman he’s always wanted.

“I’ve been thinking.” You smile sweetly at the picture Frankie paints holding your son. 

“Yeah baby? What have you been thinking about?” He asks, looking up from Miguel to find you grinning at him. His heart flutters every time he sees that smile. 

“I think that once the doctor clears me, we should try for another.” You admit, chuckling when his eyes widen. “Have a set of Irish twins. What do you think?” You had cursed him while you were pushing Miguel out, but immediately apologized once the pain had passed and your son was in your arms.

Frankie’s eyes widen, “really? You want another one so soon?” He asks and you nod, “yes. Yes. I don’t want to waste time. It’s precious.” He agrees, knowing how quick time flies. “Let’s do it.” He says and he is leaning in to kiss you. “I love you baby.” He murmurs and you hum into his mouth, making him smile.

****

Frankie squeezes your hand while he continues to rest. Letting you cry in solitude while Ana still sleeps curled up in the chair. “I love you Frankie.” You admit quietly. “I’ve always loved you. It’s why it was so easy to offer to marry you. I- I want you to recover for Ana, but for me too.” Leaning down, you kiss his hand again, wondering if he’s dreaming. If he is, you hope that it's a good dream.

Frankie blinks against the bright light again, annoyed that he’s been dragged away from his dream of making another baby with you. The dreams were so real he mourns the life he had in those dreams and he opens his eyes to find you crying while holding his hand. “Wha- baby?” He croaks, throat still so dry and he wonders why you are crying.

Looking up, you press your lips together as you hold back a sob. Leaning forward and pressing your lips to his cheek and forehead, taking care to keep away from his bandages. “Oh god baby, you're awake. I - I’m so glad.” You pull back, knowing he is probably confused. “You were- you were shot.” You explain quietly. “You’re in a hospital in Germany. I- Ana and I flew out as soon as possible. I have been so worried about you.” 

He frowns, finally getting his focus, and he looks at you. “Shot? Germany? The- the others?” He asks, suddenly worried about his team. Are they okay? Is anyone else hurt or dead? His heart monitor starts to beep rapidly and he squeezes your hand.

“Everyone else is fine.” You promise, having heard what happened from the officer who had taken you to the airfield to fly out. “You took fire while you were trying to get soldiers out of a heavy fire situation. You were shot, but managed to get them back to the base before you passed out right after you set down your chopper.” Your heart had stopped when you heard how he had barely made it back to base, but you could only be strong for him. 

He’s still fuzzy but he understands what you are saying. He nearly died. He remembers the panic in his mind when he was shot, thinking about leaving you and Ana behind. Fuck, he nearly died. Fuck. “I love you.” He tells you breathlessly. 

“I love you.” You murmur, tears streaming down your cheeks. 

“No. No. You don’t understand. I’m in love with you. I love you. I love you. I can’t - I can’t live without you. You’re my best friend. You’re my everything.” He chokes, needing you to understand him.

“You’re my best friend too.” You promise him, thinking that he’s just telling you needing you as a friend. 

But Frankie frowns. “No baby, I don’t- I want to be married to you for real. Forever.” He manages, squeezing your hand. 

“For real?” You frown and then lean forward. “Baby, I want- if this is just some kind of reaction to being shot-“ 

“it’s not,” he insists. “I love you.” 

You lunge forward and press your lips to his. “I love you.” You tell him breathlessly.

He wishes he could reach up and cup your cheek, keep you pressed against him, but all he can do is kiss you back. “I’m so fucking in love with you. Always have been. Even with - even when I was with Janet. It’s why she left that night. We were arguing and I- shit. I’ve made so many mistakes but marrying you ain’t one of them. I love you. I love you.” He says when you lean back to look into his eyes.

Your heart breaks, knowing that you were the cause of what could be the reason that Janet was driving that night, although you know her actions were her own. You know that she and Frankie weren’t good together and you can’t blame him for the past. “I love you, Francisco.” You promise him softly with a smile, kissing him once more. “Will you stay married to me?” You ask quietly, not wanting anyone to over hear. “Make this a real marriage with me?” 

Frankie nuzzles into your cheek, unable to believe how lucky he is to have you. “I love you. It’s always been you. I- I don’t want to waste any more time. I want to start the rest of our lives.”

You smile and giggle happily, reaching up and brushing his hair back from his face. “I love you too baby. Now you just need to heal so you can come home to us.” Frankie’s deployment is officially over and as soon as he is recovered enough to go home, you would be headed back to the states so he could recover fully. 

****

“Frankie!” You huff, pushing at his wandering hands and pushing them away from your ass. “You need to stop. You could pull a stitch.” You chide, finding it harder and harder to push him as the weeks go by.

Frankie grunts, “don’t care. It’s been torture seeing you and not being able to be inside of you.” He admits, and he knows you’ve done stuff. You have sucked his cock and he let you sit on his face, but the doctor told him no strenuous activity. He hasn’t been cleared yet but every day it’s getting harder to not fuck you. He honestly wants to make love to you, something slow and sweet to consummate your marriage��finally.

You bite your lip and you know that he is just as eager as you are to finally have sex. Leaning in, you press your lips to his. “If - and I mean if - you can be good and be still, how about we compromise and I sit on your cock?” You know that Frankie wants to be in charge but he can’t. No with the bandage on his side. But if he could be still, you could ride him. “But you have to be still. Not trying to take over.”

Frankie pouts, aware that he can’t ruin you the way he wants to but he has the rest of your lives to make love to you, to make you cum on his cock while he fucks you. “I can be good.” He promises, sliding his hands down to squeeze your ass. Ana is in bed and he’s so grateful for it so he can push his hard cock into your hip. “I won’t take over.”

You smirk, absolutely aware of the fact that he will try to take over. “Then what are you waiting for, soldier?” You tease. “Get undressed so I can fuck my husband.” You are already getting out of the bed so you can strip out of the t-shirt and panties that you had taken to sleeping in. Enjoying the way Frankie’s eyes wander over your body every night.

He loves seeing you like this. His beautiful wife. The love of his life. He swallows, throat suddenly dries, and he is grateful he isn’t wearing a shirt. His boxers are able to be shoved down and he pushes the sheets down the bed before settling against the pillows. “Baby. Come here. Are you wet? You wanna sit on my face?” He asks, “there’s lube in the nightstand.” He wants you to be comfortable. “And condoms…if you want.” He adds, knowing you haven’t been on birth control and he doesn’t want to push you in case you change your mind and don’t want to get pregnant yet.

He pants, fingers twitching to grab you. He desperately wants you, he wants to make you feel good. “I can’t wait to see you pregnant.” He admits, knowing that the experience will be different than Janet who was a nightmare when she was pregnant. She was demanding and accused him of cheating, and then cried and begged for sex in the same breath. He had whiplash and tried to be there for her but it was hard at times. His hands caress your back and he leans in to kiss your shoulder, just breathing you in while you grind against him.

“Lean back, baby.” You chide, pushing his shoulder back gently. “I’m going to come to you. Give you what we’ve both wanted.” He feels so good against your clit that you can’t help but roll your hips, slicking up his cock with how wet you are and enjoying when his cock flexes against your folds. Leaning in, you press your lips to his in a soft kiss.

“Fuck. Don’t tease me baby. It’s been torture.” He groans when you kiss him slowly, his hands squeezing your hips to encourage you. “Come on baby. I need you to fuck me.” He begs, rocking his hips to grind against you.

Taking mercy on him and yourself, you reach down and wrap your fingers around his thick cock and lift your hips. Eager to have him inside you now and feel his cum filling you up. The first inch makes you gasp, carefully bracing your hands on his chest but not putting any pressure on him. Wanting to make sure you don’t hurt him as you sink down on him.

Frankie whimpers, actually whimpers, when you take his cock inside of you. “Fuck baby. You- Jesus fucking Christ - you feel so good.” He pants, “I- oh God. Wanted this for so long.” He grips your waist, wishing he could slide inside of you on your back and make love to you.

Leaning forward, you press your lips to his and slide your tongue into his mouth as you grind back onto him. Wanting to make sure that you get used to the thick heft of him inside you. “Me too baby, wanted you for so long.” You promise, your walls clenching around him.

Frankie almost feels like he can't breathe. His heart beats out of his chest and he pants when you clench around him. "Fuck, sweetheart. Feel so good. Can't - can't wait to feel this for the rest of our lives. So damn lucky." He kisses along your jaw and down your neck, wanting to worship you as much as possible.

“I’m lucky.” You start to slowly roll your hips, in no hurry to cum. You want this time to be soft and sweet. Not only for him, but so you can feel every inch of him scrubbing through your walls. “Love you.” You close your eyes as he kisses you, absorbing the groans and loving how his hands wander as you slowly ride him.

“Love you too.” He vows, knowing he’s going to ask you to marry him again. He wants a big wedding, the boys to be there and your friends. He wants to show off how much he loves you. After nearly dying, it’s put everything into perspective and he knows he is grateful for what he has. Others have fared far worse than him. His hands squeeze your breasts and his cock twitching inside of you, imagining them full of milk for his baby. The thought nearly sends him over the edge but he controls himself.

“Ohhh someone thought of something they like.” You tease, seeing the look on his face as he twitches inside you. You wonder if it’s the same as him. Imagining him knocking you up tonight. Your hips roll a little faster and you moan his name softly, reaching up and combing through his hair as your nose touches his and you look in his dark eyes

He chuckles softly, “was thinking about you full of our baby. When your tits get bigger.” He confesses and nudges your nose with his. “I can’t wait. I can’t wait to begin our family with Ana and another child. It’s gonna - fuck - it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.” He murmurs, caressing your back.

You moan, imaging how possessive, how loving he will be when you are showing. Frankie seems like the type to worship you when you are pregnant. “I want that too.” You promise. “Have your baby, share that with you. Raising our kids.” Ana isn’t yours by blood but you love her like your own.

He nods, knowing he wants to ask you to formally adopt Ana and be her mom. He will preserve Janet’s legacy with her daughter but Ana deserves all the love in the world. “Fuck.” Frankie groans when you rock a little faster, his shoulder aches but he ignores it, trying to rock his hips up into you as you grind on top of him.

“Frankie.” You gasp out, clenching down around him when his cock nudges against your g-spot wonderfully. “There.” You pant, knowing that if he keeps hitting that spot just like that, you will cum quickly.

He hisses, concentrating on thrusting up into you at that angle. “Baby. Cum for me baby.” He begs, “come on, be a good girl. Cum for me.” He demands, needing to feel you clamp down on his cock.

You whine out his name, holding onto him as he takes control. 

He wasn’t supposed to do that, but you are beyond caring. As long as he doesn’t rip his stitches, he can take the reins and thrust up into you. “I’m gonna cum baby, oh fuck, I’m gonna cum on your cock.”

“That’s it. That’s it.” He groans when he thrusts up into you, his hands gripping your ass, and you clamp down on his cock. “Fuck yes baby. That’s it. Oh shit. I’m gonna-” Frankie usually prides himself on his stamina but the emotional connection combined with wanting you for years and the added ecstasy of you possibly getting pregnant and his near demise has him sent over the edge. “Fuck.” He moans your name as he cums, cock twitching inside of you.

It’s Heaven, the molten heat of his seed filling you. Making you gasp in pleasure as you grind down on him as he rides out his high, pushing up into you with short thrusts. “Oh god, oh god.” You collapse against him and kiss along his jaw. “I love you so much.”

“Love you.” Frankie pants, his entire body lost in the feel of his orgasm. It’s more than he could’ve ever imagined. He feels complete. His wife in his arms, hopefully pregnant soon with his second child. It’s his dream come true. He just wishes it wasn’t such a bumpy road to get to this point but that’s life. Twists and turns…Frankie still got his happy ending.

[howisjoostfanfictionforfree]

snip!

Part one of this series (which I will be posting soon) is almost finished but in the mean time here is a teeny tiny nugget since I said I'd give one!

Pairing: vampire!reader x Joost

CW: RPF, plenty (and I mean plenty) of other warnings will apply in this series but none in this particular excerpt

Remember guys, reader is the vampire here, not Joost

When you get to the club it is delightfully similar to the photos and you spend your evening rotating between dancing your ass off and people watching from the side when the smells and jostling get a little too exciting.

Yes, the club is exciting. The right amount this time around. You feel like a real young adult. You give yourself another pat on the back for your foray into normalcy.

It’s a smaller club on Lange Leidsedwarsstraat. By no means tucked away but far enough from Leidseplein main square that there are far fewer tourists. The ice is starting to melt in your drink. You can’t be bothered with it when there is so much to look at. There can't be more than a hundred people crammed in this basement but they manage to sport a variety of fashion and dance styles. Inevitably you spot hakken amongst them. The tangle of decks and mixers on the small raised stage is huge and the lone DJ operating it all is lit up in alternating colors as lights strobe from behind to scatter over the crowd.

You work your way out of the corner and back onto the dance floor again. The upbeat song playing now hits just the right vibe for how you’re feeling. 

Doe de Fryslân bop

Wist je niet dat ik van Fryslân kom?

Dude, doe de Fryslân bop

Blaas het op als een fietsbandpomp

You bop along for a minute as the song demands and notice a group of several people shouting along much louder than everyone else. They seem to know every word. One of them facing away from you turns in place as he dances and suddenly you’re locking eyes with the exact same guy. 

Jesus Christ what are the odds. 

Well, maybe not terrible odds if you consider he’s probably a local. 

But still. Goddammit. 

His face instantly lights up and it would be kind of cute if you weren’t panicking. What happened to not giving a fuck? Before you can move a single muscle to make your retreat he is surging towards you through the crowd and  o h   s h i t   you did not expect that. You thought he’d be running too. Even if he had been surprisingly horny in the face of inhuman eyes you figured the freakish speed there at the end would have been enough to spook him.

Shocked, you fail to stop him from grabbing your wrist like he can tell you’re gonna make a break for it again. Vampire reflexes who? You open your mouth to protest but before you can say anything he leans in and bites your shoulder.  

What.

WHAT?

[perfectimaginary]

I wanna be with you everywhere.

Pairing: mingyu x reader

Tags: fluff, cute!mingyu

Summary: café AU where you have a little crush on Mingyu (so is him)

w/c: 1.4K

a/n: I thought about this while listening to Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac so enjoy reading while listening to it too! And let me know if you liked it or not I would love to know <3

Can you hear me calling out your name?

You know that I'm falling and I don't know what to say?

I’ll speak a little louder, I’ll even shout

You know that I’m proud and I can’t get the words out

The air feels different this morning, it's gotten colder these past weeks, autumn started to feel like it and If Mingyu didn’t make the decision to grab that hoodie before leaving he would be freezing. And so, just like every morning, before going to his usual classes, he entered the same café he went to for the past months, even if he wasn’t very fond of their coffee he could at least have a glimpse of you.

Oh right. How could he forget you?

He remembered it all too well, the first time the bells chimed above your head and saw you, he thought that you might be the cutest person he’s ever seen. He could describe in detail the exact sundress you wore that day, this little pink dress he swears. He never saw someone wearing it better than you did.

You had that effect of walking in and the people around you smiled instantly, you were like a warm hug during a cold winter night, by simply smiling and making everyone's day just a little bit easier. He knew it just by the smile you gave every morning to the waitress and since this moment, he hadn’t stopped thinking about you, and every morning he looked forward to seeing you, even if he wasn’t very cautious about it.

Oh, I

I want to be with you everywhere

Oh, I

I want to be you everywhere

(Wanna be with you everywhere)

And you knew it, because you did the same. How was it possible to not look at him? He looked effortlessly good every time you caught a glimpse of him, you were pretending to be engrossed in your book but truly you didn’t read a single word that was in.

Every now and then, between pages you looked up and saw him peeking at you so you smiled, and god he was beautiful. And every morning for the past months you had the same routine, waking up and taking much longer in the shower, putting a little more effort in your makeup and outfit wondering if he would like it. And of course he liked it, he loved the way you matched your earrings with your makeup and every morning he would ask himself which color you were going to wear today.

Something’s happening, happening to me

My friends say I’m acting peculiarly

Come along, baby, we better make a start

You better make it soon before you break my heart

Exams were coming sooner than you expected, nights were getting shorter and the stress was growing quicker than you thought. One morning you forgot your book at the café, and obviously, it was Mingyu who picked it up. He was so stressed about it that he couldn’t sleep that night, asking himself if he should have run to you that morning to give it back to you.

The next day, Mingyu watched as you trekked through the café, strands hanging around your face and your attempt to cover your exhaustion with makeup, wearing more casual clothes than usual. He saw you asking the waitress about your book and he immediately felt guilty, so when he jogged towards you with it in hands you almost cried in his arms. But you were so grateful he gave it back to you that you had to buy him coffee, how convenient it was for the both of you, even if he didn’t like coffee that much he kept drinking it anyway, slowly, so he could take his time listening to you talked about how stressful this whole situation was for you, losing your book the day before the exam, and so he listened.

Oh, I

I want to be with you everywhere

Oh, I

I want to be you everywhere

(Wanna be with you everywhere)

It soon became a routine, every morning he would wait for you in front of the café so he could open the front door for you and get a few more minutes by your side. Even if it was raining, he didn’t care. You talked so much, and he loved it. Every little detail that he could learn about you was so special for him, you went to your favorite italian restaurant last night? He would write the name so he could take you on a date. You loved a book? He would read it to talk about it with you next time. And everytime he does it you fall a little harder.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, you became friends so easily, having so much in common but at the same time being so different, like how he would love to take photos of you and you laughed because you said that you didn’t like yourself in photos and he told you how beautiful you were. You sank a little bit more.

And when he finally asked you on a date on a Tuesday morning, sun peeking through the windows of the café, the only day of the week where the rain wasn’t pouring hard. ‘Date?’ was written in a caramel macchiato made by your favorite waitress who was more than excited to do this when Mingyu asked for it in secret to surprise you. And when you said yes he was so excited that he spilled half of the drink on the table and you laughed so much it hurt your cheeks the whole day.

Can you hear me calling out your name?

You know that I'm falling and I don't know what to say

Come along, baby, we better make a start

You better make it soon before you break my heart

And when Saturday came, dressed in your little pink dress he loved so much, he bought you your favorite flowers, white lilies. Because of course, he would remember it, why wouldn’t he? And he took you to his favorite restaurant saying next time he would love going to your favorite one too since he loved Italian food too. The night went too fast to your liking, and so was for him.

How easy it was for you to just tell everything that came to your mind without feeling too much for him, how easy it was to just be yourself without worrying if he was bored of you and, of course he wasn’t. He would look at you so thoroughly even when you say the silliest thing that came to your mind, he was so much. So much more than just a simple crush you had on a man you met in a little café. He was maybe too much for you. Too tall, too large, talked too fast, too handsome. And god how exciting this was. You loved it so much more than you expected it, every minute spent with him, every message exchanged between the two of you at night telling each other’s day. When it went bad or good, or both.

He was so deeply in love with you he thought that he might lose his mind, the way your eyes sparkled when you're talking about something you love, or how you pick at your bread during dinner when you talked about how stressful your exams were. And he swears he never met anyone as funny as you. You're so gentle and caring that he thought his heart might explode even the way you lean on the table to hear what he said, how attractive you were.

The end of the dinner results in you both taking a stroll in the midst of the late hours of the night, heart pondering with the wind whistling to fill the silence between the two of you. It wasn’t bad though. Just the two of you, hands brushing and cheeks blushing. Neither of you tried to do more and it was fine. Talking about how good of a night it was and how you loved it when he almost dropped the plate on the waiter, and how he loved your dress, telling you the first time he saw you with it and that it was at this moment he had a crush on you and you laughed, taking his hand in yours. You had so much time together from now on and the night had only started.

Oh I

I wanna be with you everywhere

Oh I

I wanna be with you everywhere

Oh I

I wanna be with you everywhere

Oh I

I wanna be with you everywhere

(I wanna be with you everywhere)

[thevoidlord23]

As a 25-year-old cane user with sciatica, DAMN RIGHT!

it should be illegal to have a bus stop without any seating im 100% serious

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday Lovely Fandom. We've reached the second to last ep of this series rewatch. Unreal. God I LOVE this ep. So so good. Tim being her handler. Reminds me of Alias. Which was my first love for tv show/ship. If you ever watched Alias you’d know why I love this asset and handler situation so much. Let us start.

5x21 Going Under

Start out strong Lucy is going UC. Has to do with the last episode. Frank Teska has been released from prison. He killed his brother for the attack on his daughter Dara. He is back in business. Looking to get into the Ghost Gun trade. You need specific polymer to make them. Metro raided and took his supplier out. Which is where Lucy comes in. She will pose as someone at Southland Chemicals. Be his new supplier.

We join our ship talking about the OP. Tim mentioning he’s using Hard Luck as his CI. Lucy not trusting this guy as far as she can throw him. Tim’s reply is the best. The fact that his CI knows how important Lucy is to him *squee* Then telling her as such. That this guy knows Lucy is special to him That if he messes up Tim will hunt him down. Gah I love this. Calling in favors for his girl. Work version of romantic ha

Lucy’s sweet expression when he tells her this. Basically saying he loves her in not so many words. Lucy being Lucy calling it 'Undercover love.' hehe Tim isn't even fighting it anymore. Just smiles shakes his head and rolls with her antics. We all know he loves her for it. Damn they cute. Actions always speaking louder than words with these two. Lucy couldn’t be cuter as Tim walks away. Her smile saying more than words ever could about how she feels about this man.

Then we get these GLORIOUS phone calls. Like rom-com goodies up in this episode. Love me some protective Tim. Asking her if he needs to talk to her boss? Lucy waves him off. Says she's got it. Tim looking mighty fine Phew lord Scruffy, his sweater and his eyes popping in this lighting. Mmm. Lucy of course checking in on him next. I love this so very much. He won't tell her he's struggling.

So she's going to check on in him since he won't do as such. Tim knowing exactly what she means. Asking if that means he misses her? We all know he does but he deflects in the cutest way. Saying no. His smile when she calls him a jerk. But he's YOUR jerk Lucy haha. He is so damn smitten with her. Loves teasing and messing with her. Just as much as she does for him. One of their love languages shining through in this moment. My damn heart.

She asks if Tim can check in on Tamara? Tim doesn’t hesitate for one second. Of course he’ll check in on their daughter. Doesn’t want her to lose any focus on the job. We then delve into the cute snippet conversations that have my shipper heart fluttering. Lucy telling Tim not to watch 'Top Chef' without her. I love that they have a show they watch together. Makes me giddy. Such a couples thing to have that. Tim giving her crap saying he can’t make any promises.

Lucy asking Tim if he ever wished he had a normal job? Tim says without people shooting at him? Not once. Lucy replying me either. These tidbits are just fantastic. They both love their line of work so much. This whole talking about everything and nothing at all just shows the deep bond they have. Comes from riding together for years 12 hours at a time. Her being UC is isolating but they get to have these moments despite that. Little pockets of joy before this OP heats up.

Tim asking if she’s making any friends? Lucy going on about a lady in her office. It’s so cute I can’t stand it. Talking about his grandkids and such. I love this is so very much. They did a really good job with these shots and the VO's. I saw a lot of people saying felt like rom-com and it really does in the best way. Just being on the phone whole time. Even though they're physically apart they still find a way to connect and be together. It’s so sweet imma get a cavity.

Day 4 rolls around and Tim ask if the monotony is getting to her? Lucy tells him no as long as it’s not for nothing. I mean she had two weeks of it in 3x14. 4 days is nothing but now she has Tim so she's got more to miss this time around. I adore the voice overs in this scene. Tim reassuring her it’s probably cause Frank is double checking her story. I love this shot of Tim in the side mirror. Fierce protector reporting for duty.

Frank has finally surfaced and approached Lucy. Her cover story of being a wanted felon has worked out. Frank thinks she’s an easy target because of it. Lucy playing the fresh start card with him. Not wanting to get into business with him. She does this so well. He tells her not an option. That he needs certain plastics and she needs to not go to jail. Telling her it’s low risk.

Gah I love Tim watching over the situation from across the way. Looking fine af BTW. My god I'll never be over how tall he is and I love it. Tall drink of yum. Look at him in his civvies, the hat, the glasses, the intense way he's watching her. Listening in to their convo. Trying to keep his protectiveness in check. Doing his best not to step in. Especially when Frank threatens her. Which causes Lucy to say yes. Frank says they’ll have dinner tonight then. He’ll come get her from her place. They can hammer out the details of this new partnership.

Lucy meets up with Wesley, Harper, Grey and her man. They’re going over this date for her. Tim looks like he’s going to crawl out of his skin. He hates the idea of this guy possibly thinking it’s a date. He hates this entire conversation really. Keeping his hands in his pockets. Looks at the ground trying to settle his protective nature.

I love Grey checking in with Tim. Minute he hears the word 'romantically and date.' He immediately looks at Tim. Knowing he hates this on so many levels. Tim isn’t being at all discreet with how he feels about this situation. He's basically squirming in front of all of them. Tim continuing to try to put on a brave face. Not well but sure trying. His whole body language screaming his immense discomfort.

Tim is being the least subtle he’s ever been in this moment. Hating the idea she needs a good wire in case he’s handsy. You can see him take a deep breath and clench his jaw at the thought of this. This conversation is killing him softly. Some angsty goodness though. The check in's these two have above getting me in the feels before she sets to leave. That silent communication of their's prominent af. I LOVE him walking Lucy to the door. The intense looks they share on the way.

They both look amazing btw. He keeps constant eye contact with her till he can’t any longer. The intense longing in his stare as he watches her go. *heart clutch* His entire world just walked out the door and it shows. Eric crushing it with the longing look. This is the type of angst I eat up. It’s so so good. Worried Tim is lovely to behold. And that man is insanely worried. He is an open book as she walks away from him. Trying to keep himself from losing his damn mind over this man possibly touching her.

Grey immediately checking in with him. Man wasn't exactly subtle during that whole conversation. Asking Tim if he’s ok? Tim lying saying he’s 5x5. Such a detached military reply. When he is anything but detached in this moment. Wade knowing he’s lying. Their friendship is underrated. Grey saying he has to treat this like any other OP. Any other UC. Sure he'll get right on that. Thanks to Lucy his emotions aren't so easy to turn off anymore. Also not like it’s the love of his life he’s watching over or anything…

Lucy goes to dinner with Frank all wired up. Tim watching intently outside. Fierce protector at the ready. The intense look on his face as he watches over her is doing things to me. *fans self* Like a lion pacing back and forth in it's cage waiting to be let out. Ready to attack at the slightest provocation against her. It's insanely hot tbh. He would gladly throttle this man if given the chance to. All he needs is to be given a reason.

Lucy almost gets Frank to admit to his brothers death when bullets start flying. We watch Tim in an absolute panic call this in. Desperately searching for her in the wreckage from his car. Trying to find her as he rattles off their address. I love her jumping up and looking his way so he knew she was ok. His giant sigh of relief when her head pops up. Feel like we all did that with him. Went from all out panic to instant relief. I said in the hospital scene she is his whole world. That just got shot at and he was paralyzed until she popped up.

He couldn’t breathe until he knew she was alright. His whole body slumping against his seat in relief. Eric crushing it out here with his expressions getting me all emotional. I love how his eyes dart back to her once more before he takes off after the shooters. Double checking she really is there. He couldn’t even be in pursuit of them until he knew she was ok. You can see he wants to stay but can’t. Having an internal battle but knows he has to go after them.

His cop brain in a delay due to this. This delay in reaction definitely affects him in his pursuit of the shooters. Don't think he was fully there mentally. Tim's head was most definitely not in the game when he went after them. Taking us back to 5x01 when Tim told Lucy if her head isn't the game 100 percent it'll get her killed. He is the living embodiment of that line in this moment. This dude almost killed him. Even when the gun is in his face his reaction time is slower.

That is not the Tim Bradford we know and love in the field. He was clouded his emotions running rampant. He had not compartmentalized at all. When Jan shows up it really hits him what almost happened to him. Saying he got lucky it was empty. Otherwise…ugh I don’t even wanna think about it. He’s panting his adrenaline waning and it showing. Looking over where the guy was knowing this could've been far worse. Knowing what it would've done to Lucy.

I love the minute she’s done dealing with Frank Lucy calls Tim. Anxiously awaiting him to answer her call. Both so worried about one another. Gah this episode is fantastic. Never seen Tim this panicky or shaken up. This is a UC OP he’s involved in I can’t imagine how he’d be if he wasn’t.

He just loves her so much. Having a legit meltdown till he knows she’s ok. It’s all over his face as he talks to her on the phone. Eric killing me softly in this one. Lucy isn’t pulling any punches with her worry either. Both making me emotional as hell. Tim replying ‘Yeah I am now.’ *internal screaming* Wasn’t ok till he knew she was.

The love they have for each other is all over this moment. I’m not crying you are…You can see all the tension leave his body when he hears her voice. The neediness in both their voices when he says they should meet up. Gah yes you do. They needed to hear each others voice to calm down after that adrenaline fest.

Then we come to THE laundry scene. One that broke my damn brain. Pretty much broke the entire fandom's brain. I love how she rushes to him and clings on. Wanting zero space between them. Tim leaning into her arms. Rubbing his hand up and down her back. I’m sure both their hearts were racing. They are each other’s safe space and this hug shows that.

So scared and only finding comfort in each others arms. So much emotion surging through them in this hug. I love me a good hug and this one is fantastic one. Trying to ground one another with it. Speaking their concerns about what they just went through. The swaying gets me too. I love everything about this hug.

Lucy basically launches herself at him. He catches her effortlessly and holds her so tightly to him. The remaining tension melting out of of their bodies. Because they were running on adrenaline and anxiety until this hug. Tim holding her so close making sure she’s real. There with him. I’ll never be over this moment and how lovely it is.

This next portion just proves why Lucy is his person. Tim is losing his mind with worry over this guy. Over him trying something. His anxiety coming off him in waves. Lucy wants to soothe him because it's her natural instinct. Tim looks like he wants to cry or punch a wall or both when he ask if he’s tried something? Lucy reassuring him he hasn’t but even if he did she’s got this. The fierce protector coming out strong right now. He can barely contain it. Tim deflecting a little saying ‘I know.’

Lucy knows this man so damn well. Telling him knowing and feeling ok are two different things. She's so right. I love the way she grabs his jacket trying to comfort him. Tim is being so soft and vulnerable in this moment. She wants him to know it’s ok. She’s ok and it’s very ok if he isn’t. Eric killing this episode left and right with his expressions. His heart is hurting it’s all over his face and Lucy is reaching out with a reassuring touch. I love her for validating his feelings. Not judging him for them.

But also knowing he’s being very vulnerable right now and she’s being wonderfully receptive to that. Tim gets a little defensive saying. Not his first time. Lucy is SO good with him. Doesn’t shame him for being bristly about this. Knowing it’s his PTSD in full swing. So soft in her reply and expression. Letting him know probably what’s making this so much worse for him. This is why she’s his person. Never shames him for his feelings only loves him through. Gah they’re making me so emotional. I love this couple so much.

Before Tim gets anymore emotional he tells her he has to go. Now isn’t the time to talk about this. That he knows if she doesn’t feel safe she will bail. If she’s good he’s good. Lucy confirms she’s good. Tim says he has to get back to the station then. Grey is waiting for a status update. Lucy stops him before he can go. Not ready to be apart from him just yet.

Grabbing his arm keeping him from leaving. I love the way she is looking at him landing on his lips. Then she says the 4 words that made us all collectively lose our minds. ‘Lock the door first.’ Is this real life? Did we really get this moment? Adrenaline fueled we made it out alive laundry room sex? Oh my damn lord.

The way he looks at her when she says this. *fans self* Tim is definitely not treating her like any other UC…I remember gasping at her saying this. Needing to be with him in this moment. Tim’s smile realizing what she’s saying. My god. Laundry room sex is now canon for them. We got shower sex last ep and now laundry room post-op sex. My god the writers were good to us. I like being pandered too LOL Also you know there is a damn good chance highly likely really this was unprotected too.

Lucy couldn’t let him walk away yet until she had him. Hot damn. Tim not one to deny her anything is easily roped into her naughty plans. I’m still not over the risks they took to have this heated moment together. They had a frenzied hookup while she was on assignment. I’m dead. They’ve actually killed me in the best way. S5 truly is a fic come to life. I love every minute of it. Clearly missing and craving sexy time with her man. Also probably still hopped up on adrenaline as well. Undercover hookup phew lord we are blessed haha

Lucy calls Tim after she gets away with Frank from the warehouse. Saying the OP is done. Frank has nothing left to build. Tim is flirty af in his reply. With a shit eating grin to go with it. Saying that’s too bad... Lucy is confused and says why? Tim referring to their hookup in the laundry room. Bummed he wasn't going to get another. Timothy Bradford I never haha This man is so different when he is truly loved and happy my goodness. I couldn't love it more.

Hard to believe this entire episode is canon. Tim is definitely loving his sex life with Lucy and proud to let her know about it. Hell so are we haha Horny Tim is hilarious and I love him so. They could find another laundry room for a repeat performance if he would like LOL Fanfic come to life this season swear to god. We live in a world where this scene happened and I’m dying.

They return home because at this point it’s their home. Gah love how Tim looks at Lucy as he approaches her. Man is so insanely in love with her. Lucy saying she needs a big meal, hot bath and quality sexy time. Heh. Then to sleep for 24 hours straight. I love how Tim encases her hands in his caressing them as they speak. Running his hands up and down hers. Needing this connection.

I love Tim being the physically affectionate one of the two. I always knew once they got together he would be the one who couldn’t keep his hands off her. Touching really is one of their many love languages and I adore it. Never saw them nearly as touchy with their ex’s. Just another reason proving why they’re so right for each other. Gonna be the death of me and I welcome it. Lucy can tell something is up. Asking him what’s going on?

Oh my poor damaged boy. Having a trauma response right now with her saying she needs time to decompress. I love him not deflecting and telling her how he’s feeling instead. That’s not easy for him. I also totally get his response. I still have trauma responses to things as well. Lucy knowing it is telling him it was only a week. That one nights keep will do her just fine. Trying to say without saying she’s not Isabel. Tim accepts her answer.

Lucy says she has to come clean about some thing though. That she knows she made him promise not to. But she watched 'Top chef' without him. For shame Lucy Chen . For shame LMAO I guess that monotony did get to her since she finished it without him.... Tim is so offended I’m dying. Calling her a 'Bad girlfriend' *screams into a pillow* They’re so friggin cute I am dying. Lucy's 'No, I'm sorry!' It is horrible Tim is right haha Making him promise not to then watching it without him. Every right to be playfully mad at her.

Lucy wastes no damn time and confronts Tim about the shooter in the alley. I love her so much for always calling him on his shit. Saying how he didn’t tell her he almost died in that alley. Tim brushing it off saying because he didn’t. Oh Timothy. Acting like her losing you wouldn’t completely wreck her. Absolutely devastate and ruin her like it would for you. I think that’s exactly why he did it though. Acting like it’s not a big deal when he knew it was.

Protecting her from that fact. Lucy coming at him saying doesn’t matter who told her. That they’ll set aside the fact he left it out of the report. 2x01 Tim would be appalled ha. Doing it for the same reasons Lucy did then. Insane how this same kind of fight still involves Isabel indirectly. Lucy can’t believe him right now. Acting like it’s nothing. Like she didn’t almost lose him.

We see a little more trauma Tim come out here. Just assuming she's keeping things from him when she's under. I so relate to him reacting this way I do. I misread something my best friend had texted me the other day. I made an assumption like Tim is here. My friend was wonderful texted me back ‘ Your trauma is showing.’ And it knocked me out of it. It’s involuntary when it runs so damn deep. And we know it does for him.

I’m so glad Lucy is there to knock him back out of it. Saying No you know Isabel did for a fact. Calling him right out for it. These kinds of fights are so good for them. Forces them to face the stuff they’re hiding. Things they didn’t really touch on last episode. This was a much better and more open conversation. Tim didn’t hide behind being ‘fine.’ And Lucy isn’t letting him get away with it. Tim can’t fight that logic and it’s all over his face in the second gif. The way his body slumps in reply.

Lucy making a strong ass point next. Saying if this is going to work between them he has to see the difference. She not wrong. He really does. Tim shooting back of course he can. (Babe you got some work to do...) What I love the most is Lucy said her piece. Put him his place about this. Which was needed and now Tim is saying his. The dialogue in this scene so much more productive than 5x20 was. Airing things out and how they actually feel. Tim voicing his need to know she will listen to him if he sounds the alarm.

That otherwise all the pain he went through was for nothing. Then he says the line that shows me Lucy is the love of his damn life. ‘I can’t lose you the way I lost her.’ Tears in this man’s beautiful eyes. Imma cry myself. Finally voicing the fear he kept inside last episode. He cannot lose this woman My heart. She is everything to him. Pulled him out of the depths of his pain and hurt. Brought him back to life. He loves her so much and is saying as such in this moment.

Lucy can see this and reassures him he won’t lose her that way. She would walk away for him if it ever got that close. Ugh my heart. He sounded the alarm earlier and she shut it down. So they both have stuff to work on. I mean it's why he brought it up. He felt like he was sounding the alarm in the laundry room. Lucy brushed it off saying she didn't want to tap out. But them having this conversation hopefully they can be more aware of these things for a future OP and in general really. The need to openly communicate is a must.

Tim says 'Okay.' Choosing to trust what she is saying. Then we get another glorious hug. The way he clings to her. His hand around her neck pulling her to him is so visceral. He loves her so damn much and it’s shown beautifully in this embrace. How much she means to him. Pulling her in close. Lucy doing the same thing clinging to him like a life raft. Her arms pulling him close to her as well. We see both her hands on his shoulders. *sigh*I'm so proud of them for both speaking their minds in this scene.

Lucy calling Tim out was so needed. He has to see she isn’t Isabel. If not it’ll destroy him. No one gets through to Tim like Lucy. This scene was so raw and honest. Very much needed after all that was left unsaid in 5x20. Never be over them being vulnerable with one another especially Tim. Not only telling her he needs her to listen but sharing he CANNOT lose her. Basically laying any cards she didn’t already have from him on the table. So proud of him. He’s come so far and this scene shows it. I truly love the writers for how real they write them. Phew Lord this was a good ep.

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Angela calling Aaron from closet about a case hilarious. The entire ep trying to do stuff for her I was laughing so hard.

Also nice to see Celina go out with a nice guy. She deserves it.

Well the next one is the last one holy moly. Thank you forever and always to those who like, comment and reblog these reviews. You all have made me so appreciated by doing so. I will see you all in the 5x22 :)

[lemotmo]

First time I've seen them be, deservedly and understandably, short with someone. The ask was vile but I love the answer so enjoy! You will have no trouble figuring out what the ask was.

A. Anon, I debated long and hard about answering your ask because, to be frank, it's rude as hell. But I decided to answer it because there are a couple of points I would like to make and you gave me an opening. I will be more polite to you than your ask was to me, but this is my third draft of this response and it's still not as polite as I strive to be to people, but it's clearly as polite as I can be on this one. Enjoy.

It's not possible to 'turn on Tommy'. He is a plot device. His character is whatever the plot needs him to be. I said from day one I liked the intended purpose of Tommy as far as present Buck is concerned. I get what the show is doing with him and I like it, right now, for Buck. I never pretended it was more than that. You are correct, my blog has lots of pro Eddie/Buddie posts. I've watched from the beginning. If you actually watch the show it is hard to not like him/them. You're also correct in that I view Buck/Eddie/Christopher as a family unit. That's the way they're written. We're supposed to see them that way, again watch the show for context. I love Eddie. He deserves better than the neverending Shannon go round. Ryan's recent interviews seem to imply he would also like to get off that particular ride. That doesn't make me or anyone else a Tommy traitor, because again, can't betray a plot device.

As for the Lou part of your ask, I have made no secret of my personal issues with him. I don't feel the need to reference it in every single answer I give, but they're easy to find on my blog. Screaming at me that we have no proof he's supported trump since 2016 is not the character win you seem to think it is. He was just as misogynistic, homophobic and racist then. So not a point in Lou's favor. I also have issues with the Cameo videos. It's gross to charge fans to talk to you. Did he have every right to capitalize on his fandom moment, sure, but I can still think it's icky. I can also acknowledge the nightmare it has caused for Oliver and Tim, and even more disgustingly so, Ryan. Most of us figured out it was the same 8 or 9 blogs purchasing the videos (no surprise who those blogs were) which I'm also sure Lou eventually figured out. He wasn't talking to a wide audience. The view count told you that. Which is why I stress that people have to stop pretending that Buck and Tommy are some wide spread loved couple. Reality doesn't support that. Shouting into a vacuum of like minded people is not the same thing as being an audience favorite and most of the people shouting know this. The videos served no purpose except financial. Which again, he had every right to do, but i have the right to be grossed out by it. I try very hard to be respectful of everyone's opinions. I am an adult. I don't need everyone to agree with my every thought. I expect the same basic level of politeness in my ask box. Your misunderstanding or deliberate ignorance of what is very clearly displayed on my blog is not my responsibility. I understand what I think the show is trying to do with the character of Tommy. I get it, and I don't hate it. I like the idea. Voicing that was never stating I'm anti Eddie or Buddie. And understanding and voicing where I think the show is going doesn't make me a Tommy traitor. Because once more, he's a plot device.

Louder for the people in back!

Oh wow. What a truth bomb. Slay! OP your ability to stay calm and collected when obviously answering a very rude and disrespectful ask is remarkable and commendable. I always strive to do the same on my blog, but even I sometimes lose my patience when it comes to the more 'rude' messages in my inbox.

What can I say about this? It's the truth. Nothing more, nothing less. Enough said.

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[thecursivej]

Live Reactions Harris vs. Trump pt. 1 of ??

Oh this is very, VERY, debate-y.

DAMN HE SCARED! Cowering while Kamala is like "Hiiii"

Did David Muir just say it was Kamala and Trump were elected 4 years ago? Weird

Ope, looks like Donny is already struggling to stay awake.

Definitely doing better than Biden did. It seems she's been practicing impromptu speaking (slay).

Okay... but are we better than we were four years ago? (I personally say yes, but the american people need to see you answering this question).

LMAO not trump giving the lil' nod at "he's gonna do what he's done before"

Already very respectful, very straightforward, great connection to the camera (and in turn the audience through the camera).

Donald...Tarrifs end up hurting people because they raise the....SALES TAX. Ayiyiyi.

Damn, already blaming immigration.

Trump brought up African American jobs and fucking Kamala looks like she wanted to cackle.

LOOK AT HER FLOOOOW (if you're a debate kid/coach, you know)

He's so upset, because he knows she's spitting the truth.

Welp, jan 6th very passively mentioned; mark your bingo cards.

Damn, great rebuttals from Harris. Trump isn't event really rebutting.

BIDEN MENTIONED. MARK YOUR BINGO CARDS.

Have...have you looked at her plans? Donny boy?

THANK YOU DAVID MUIR FOR PRESSING; HELL FUCKING YEAH.

...bruther you do not understand the economy. What the fuckeroni and cheese are you saying?

My ass is mirroring Kamala's expression before the camera even shows her.

Yeah, call his ass out Kamala. Call his ass out. But also pls answer the question; why we keeping them tarrifs?

Okay so, if you've got "someone doesn't answer the question" go ahead and mark that shit if you haven't.

I love Harris just being like "Bro what the fuckeroni and cheese is this?"

MARK HARRIS LAUGHS, GOOD FOR HER.

LMAO That Marxist reaction is AMAZING.

OPE, ABORTION, HERE WE GO BESTIES.

WHO THE FUCK IS ABORTING A CHILD AT NINE MONTHS!? That is murder, not abortion.

LMAO Tim being out of it?

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY SAYING THIS SHIT!? Yeah, no, making up bullshit right now.

....Does Trump know what Roe even is?

Each state that's voted for abortion to be in their state's constitution HAS VOTED YES AND ENSHRINED IT. WE DIDN'T NEED TO OVERTURN ROE YOU DUMBASS.

THANK YOU FOR THE CLARIFICATION THAT YOU CANNOT AND NOWHERE IN THE U.S. IS IT LEGAL TO KILL A CHILD ONCE IT'S BEEN BORN HELLO!?

Great job with the response, Kamala. Truly, a wonderful response. ESPECIALLY calling on religious differences and faiths.

Girl her use of rhetorical questions is just so... so... GOOD. As a public speaking professor, this shit slaps.

PROJECT 2025 MENTIONED, MARK YOUR BINGO CARDS

I'm about to molly-whop Donny boy (spiritually in my heart pls leave me tf alone FBI)

Bruther your actions speak louder than their words.

IMPOSSIBLE!? HELLO!? Nah dawg, never tell me the odds.

Ope, student loans mentioned, mark your bingo cards.

HELL YEAH PUSH FOR THAT YES/NO!!!!

Annnnd no yes/no. Not worth it.

MMMMHMMM YOU TELL THAT ORANGE CHEETO PUFF THAT NO ONE IS ASKING FOR THEIR NINE MONTH OLD CHILD TO BE MERKED.

Kamala did answer the question; she would support reinstating all the protections from Roe v. Wade.... but as we see that isn't enough. There needs to be a clear outline of what to do.

NOPE YOU DON'T GET TO RESPOND CUT THE FUCKING MIC ABC

Welp I've got a bingo already, 26 minutes in...holy fuckeroni and cheese.

WW3 mentioned

Once again, no answer from 45.

Welp, here he goes continuing to peddle the false info about Haitian immigrants (who did legally immigrate here) eating people's pets; which the Mayor and PD have DEBUNKED. Fucking wild

I love that Kamala looks so fucking concerned for his brain.

LMAO LOVE DAVID MUIR CLAPPING BACK AT TRUMP

PFFFTTTT "I heard it from people on TV" BITCH WHAT!?

I love Harris just giggling at the absurdity.

I feel like the only noise in Donny's head right now is the AOL startup noises.

God... I'm so fucking done with his bullshit and we're only 34 minutes in.

What's hysterical is the Biden admin KEPT Trump's immigration policies... bruther. The fuck?

Here he goes again about migrant-crime

SLAY TO DAVID MUIR CORRECTING SHIT AGAIN

Can we just cut his fucking mic already?

CONVICT MENTIONED MARK YOUR BINGO CARDS!

I am fucking cackling.

Mmmm good use of rhetoric, Kamala. Good job.

Kamala looks so done with this bullshit. If I was up there debating, I'd have written down "what the fuck is this fucker saying?"

Democracy mentioned

CUT OFF HIS MICCCCCC

Slay to Lindsey asking the hard questions.

Mmmm, good job focusing in on fracking since she's in Pennsylvania....BUT ALSO FUCK FRACKING....But also yeah we do need various forms of energy...BUT NOT AT THE CONSEQUENCE OF THE PLANET PLEASE.

"I was given a small loan of a million dollars" dawg... that's not small....

Oh fuck off Trump, you get to talk while she talks? But when she does? You're so angry? Fuck off.

CUT THE MIC FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST JESUS

Jesus christ he goes over time just fucking cut off the damn mic.

He definitely isn't gonna answer about Jan 6. He's just gonna deny deny deny. "I think IT'S gonna be big" BITCH!?

I'm so sick of this shit already.

MMM GOOD ON KAMALA CALLING OUT THE BLOODBATH COMMENTS. HOLD HIM TO IT GIRL.

Legit fuck off Donny. You're not fooling anyone.

....Named two fox news hosts....not very reliable motherfucker.

He knows he's losing when he says "let's leave this debate right now"

BRUTHER HE ISN'T PRESIDENT.

Mark "random personal attack" for biden.

CUT HIS MIC, DAVID, DAMN.

DAMN STRAIGHT YOU LOST FUCKO.

"Fired by 81 million people" GIRL ATE. AND READ. BECAUSE READING IS FUNDEMENTALLY.

Y'all I am maniacally cackling at the way he's getting roasted as hell.

VICTOR ORBEL?! WE GONNA FOCUS ON THAT FACIST HURTING HIS OWN COUNTRY!?

Jesus just cut the mics. Lord almighty.

Oh here we go; Israel and Hamas... this should be interesting (for anyone worried; I am Pro Palestine through and through; fuck Benjamin Netanyahu)

So Kamala's main phrase is "Let's look at how we got here"

We have to be freedom for Palestine; but if we don't cut off Bibi? Then they will destroy all of Palestine so we won't get a two state solution, Kamala. For fuck's sake, they (IDF) killed an American protesting in Israel.

Why...are we talking about Ukraine right now? Hello?

This would absolutely have happened under Trump and with his anti-semitism? It probably would've been worse.

Weird fucking compliment to ABC from Donny, that ain't gonna help tho.

Ayiyiyi.

WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT UKRAINE?!

Already, that's it for this part, go get a snack and water, I need to scream into the void. BRB

[gaslighttragedy]

The Silver Shadow

Summary : In this story, Bucky and Andrea, an unconventional pair forced to work together even though they are constantly arguing; Sam is usually the mediator between them. Bucky does not trust Andrea, and Andrea does not trust Bucky. (Prologue is a flashback.) Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Original Female MC named Andrea, her FC is up to you, but I imagine a Shailene Woodley type character. (Bucky not seen in prologue. Main Interaction is with Tony Stark.) Words : A little under 1K. Warnings : Nothing notable in this prologue. Note : Suspension of disbelief is required ; I took a lot of liberties with the story, timeline and series of events. Other note : I wrote this in 2021, and let it in my google doc drafts. I found it, and thought maybe i could do something with it. I had a few ideas written down for the next chapters, so if people like this, I might continue? Prologue | Next Chapter Masterlist

Montreal, Summer of 2012.

The clicking and tapping of fingers on the black computer keys were the only thing that could be heard inside the small room. That small room was serving as the temporary headquarters for what the brunette doing the actual typing considered her best operation yet. Usually, she'd have some music playing in the background, but the playlist she'd been playing had stopped a while ago and she didn't bother to start a new one. No, she'd been having way too much of a blast. Infiltrating the Canadian Government's website to change every mention of Prime Minister Harper's name to Asswipe McStupid was the most fun she's ever had on a job. The real reason she was infiltrating the server was a tad bit more complex, but the prank added a little bit of flair to the task. Plus, it paid well, since she risked actual prison if she got caught. But then again, she always, always, had a fail-safe.

She only had about two minutes left to put the final touches on the malware she'd then upload on the government's server while the files she needed were uploading to her computer before the intrusion was traced back to her location and she was typing as fast as she could. That's when she heard it. 

BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

Fuck! She was supposed to have more time, god damnit! How could they have found her so fast? It was impossible! As she continued typing frantically, she was trying to understand where she messed up. Prison was not an option, and she didn't want to use her fail-safe. She'd never had to use it before on a big scale, say, on the military ops that would surely find her now.

BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

Louder, this time. The pounding she was hearing seemed to come almost directly from behind her. How did they get up to her so fast? She was on the 19th floor! It's not like they had power suits or jet packs to get to her that fast! The file she needed from the server was already exported to her computer, and she barely had time to close up everything before she heard the last barrier between her and the rest of the world fall behind her.

BOOM. 

As soon as she heard the door go down behind her, the cybercriminal threw her hands up, and for just a second, it felt like time stopped. She didn't hear a sound, which was surprising, since she thought a thousand men would be there to arrest her. That's usually what happens when you get caught stealing secret files from undocumented government projects. But she didn't hear a thing. The overwhelming desire to turn around was strong, but she stayed there for what seemed an eternity before she heard his voice. 

"I knew you were strong, but that's..." He said, with a little bit of… could it be envy in his voice? 

She'd heard his voice before. Everyone in America knew that voice. He'd been on TV, on the radio, and his name was as admired as it was feared. He'd made a spectacle a couple of years back, and because of it, his name would go down in history. 

"Jarvis," he continued, "Is she really stopping the suit right now?" 

"It appears so, Sir. I've lost all control of the suit's motricity." 

The brunette sighed as she finally dropped her hands to her side, simultaneously releasing Tony Stark from her hold. 

"I thought I made my position on your offer very clear, Mr. Stark." She said as calmly as possible. 

"And I thought you might want to reconsider." He replied with confidence. "Your abilities, they're worth putting to good use."

The hacker got up from her chair and started to pack her computer as fast as she could. She was losing time, and the longer she stayed in this spot, the more likely she was to get caught. She turned to Stark, who was still trying to convince her to do something she'd never agree to.

"Mr. Stark, as I've said twice before, I'm not joining your team of superheroes, or whatever you called it…" 

"Avengers." He said, cutting her. 

She casually dismissed him with the back of her hand, making the red suit rattle. 

"Avengers, Shmamengers. I don't care. I'm not doing it. Final answer." 

"This is not Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. You can't just say final answer." Tony said, aggravated. 

As she put her black messenger bag over her shoulder, the woman approached the famous Tony Stark and patted him on the shoulder of this suit, and with the flick of a wrist, put a big dent on it. It wasn't a warning, because he knew she'd easily overpower him. She did it just for fun. Just to mess with him. 

"Goodbye, Mr. Stark." She said with a sly grin.

"Jarvis, please advise Fury that Silver Shadow is a no-go." He sighed to his AI as the brunette was leaving the concrete building. 

[polaroid-sorcery]

Raveleijn musical ideas

so I had this idea: what if they made Raveleijn into a musical. I got the initial idea two years ago and back then I wrote a whole document about it, featuring notes on songs and scene-by-scene outlines.

Anyway. Here are some of my notes and ideas about songs (in order) for a hypothetical Raveleijn musical:

・Our New House

sung by Thomas, Maurits, Emma, Lisa, Joost and their parents. It’s the opening number and it’s about the parents trying to hype up their children for a life in the countryside, something the siblings aren’t necessarily that excited about. The parents try to come up with different things for the children to look forward to, but none of it seems to work. Meanwhile, the children complain about having to move away from the city.

- titled Ons Nieuwe Huis in Dutch

・{unnamed}

sung by Thomas. It’s a dramatic song with rock-instrumentals to fit Thomas’ character. It’s a solo song in which he sings about his struggles now that his band no longer needs him and he’s left in a place he doesn’t want to be at.

・One Day They’ll See

sung by Joost. It takes place after he went through the gate for the first time and tells his siblings about Raveleijn. No one believes him and they say he just imagined all of it. With pent up frustration, Joost decides to sing about it. During the song he complains about his family members not believing him and he says he’ll show Raveleijn is real.

- titled Ooit Zullen Ze Zien in Dutch

・Adventure Awaits

sung by Lisa. Lisa isn’t fully convinced that Joost is telling the truth about Raveleijn and the gate, but she also knows something must be up because Joost wouldn’t try to convince them otherwise. So she sings about the “what if’s”. What if the gate is real and there really is something they don’t know out there.

- titled Op Avontuur in Dutch

・Through The Gate

sung by Thomas, Maurits, Emma, Lisa and Joost. The song starts just after the group went through the gate and entered Raveleijn. They sing about the amazement of Raveleijn being real, as Joost described. By the end of the song the siblings decide to discover the area.

- titled Door De Poort in Dutch

・Song of the Exiled

sung by the exiled people (including Samira, Jarno, Samuel). They welcome Thomas, Maurits, Emma, Lisa and Joost to their camp and sing a song about the reason for their exile and about what Raveleijn used to be like. It’s a song that starts out slow and sad but as the song progresses it gets louder and more fast-paced.

- titled Bannelingenlied in Dutch

・This Is Magic

sung by Maurits. This song is sung after all five riders are presented with their elemental weapons. After practising with his crossbow and seeing the other weapons in action, Maurits realises magic is real and that this officially has gotten too crazy for it to be a dream or nightmare. Throughout the song Maurits still struggles to comprehend the magical aspects of Raveleijn and the gate, mainly because there is no way a science book could ever explain it.

- titled Dit Is Magie in Dutch

・{unnamed}

sung by Olaf. It’s one of those “villain songs”. Falco Peregrinus, as Olaf, sings about his evil plans and by the end of the song he presents his plans to build Draconicon. The song is supposed to be a bit over-to-top, with Olaf gloating about his accomplishments and his ideas for the future of Raveleijn.

・Lead The Way

sung by Emma. The song takes place while the siblings and Samira are heading to the inn. She sings about how she wants to prove to her siblings she is capable of being a leader and that she can step up and make decisions for herself and the others when it is needed.

- titled Wijs De Weg in Dutch

・Who You Were

sung by Halina. One of the emotional songs. She sings about how she no longer recognizes the man she married when they were younger. She sings about how he seems to have lost his way and that he is longer the same man she used to know. Based on scenes from the Raveleijn tv-show from 2011.

- titled Wie Jij Toen Was in Dutch

・{unnamed}

sung by Samira, Thomas, Maurits, Emma, Lisa, Joost, Halina, the innkeeper and the guild masters. A typical “get ready for the battle” song. It’s about how they will defeat Olaf and will free Raveleijn of his reign.

・{unnamed}

sung by Rutger and Sophie (the parents). The song is sung while the parents search for their children and realise maybe they should have paid more attention to them and their struggles with adjusting to their new life away from the city and their friends, at their new house. They sing about how they wish they could turn back time to fix their mistakes.

・Raveleijn

sung by almost everyone with short solo bits by Olaf, Halina, Samuel, Samira, the exiled, Thomas, Maurits, Emma, Lisa and Joost. The way I envision it, it is a full-on ensemble number with bombastic instrumentations. It takes place just after Peregrinus and Draconicon have been defeated and the people of Raveleijn, plus the five riders, celebrate the victory.

- titled Het Graafschap Raveleijn in Dutch

・Through the gate reprise / Finale

sung by Thomas, Maurits, Emma, Lisa and Joost. It is the big finale song at the end of the musical. The siblings go back through the gate and reflect on their adventure in Raveleijn. Each sibling gets a solo part where they sing a short reprise of their own song and add onto that what they’ve learned compared to the moment they sung their song during the musical. The song features triumphant instrumentals and happy vibes all-together to bring the musical to a satisfying end.- titled Door De Poort / Finale in Dutch

that's all. please comment if you have any thoughts.

[batsvnte]

𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 • 𝐉𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐮𝐚𝐧

Pairing(s): Jing Yuan

Sypnosis: with the galaxy shaken by the great events, a general has a run in with an infamous Esper with the divine power of a deity

Warning(s): violence, fighting, cursing, reader casually slipping cause lack of traction, switches from third to second pov at some point randomly, mention of blood, ooc maybe, not proofread

Song used: She is a God — XHz Official, mAjorHon

Word Count: 2K

Notes: Black fem!reader (she/her pronouns). I’ve been hyperfixating on Dislyte recently and I finally figured out what the song was for the Dusk & Dawn event. It was stuck in my head for so long omfg. More of a Dislyte x Honkai Star Rail crossover. This is kinda headcannons mixed in with oneshot/Drabble

𝐄𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐚

Grown by her own carried out of ruins, never loose strength she was very young

“Tune in to listen to the latest news from Xheart Radio! Listen in to find an new miracle on the day of her debut that makes her way through the stratosphere! There’ll be more the more you listen to our radio! Next song on the list is Load up, Click. Catch you later.”

It was no surprise that Jing Yuan heard of the rumors of the rising miracles. It was raised as an concern to the people around him after the fear of these things called ‘Miramon’ coming around. Having much on his back was something he had grown use to. But these oncoming rumors made him grown concern of Xianzhou Loufu. Though, despite his silent concerns and reassuring words to his subordinates, luck happened to be favoring him.

Quick footsteps that gradually gained sound was enough to lift his head up along with the other generals he was seated with. A mixed look of confusion yet alert was seen on him. The other generals gave some looks of anticipation. Which they were clearly expecting at least someone to be here, with those two extra seats that was reserved for someone across from him. The footsteps were more louder but muffled due to being on the other side of the wall. With the few seconds of silence the doors finally open that draws everyone’s attention to the ones on the other side.

Finding that there were two people standing side by side (though one of them had looked as if she had just slipped and fallen down, Jing Yuan ignored that little detail). His look going into an amused one as the two stepped into the room.

“Lady Abigail, Chief (Name). It’s a pleasure to have you two here.” One of the seven generals gives them a warm smile as they walk over to them.

The shorter one only nodded nimbly at their words. “We’re so sorry for arriving so late. There was an problem with the system that we were sharing.”

Jing Yuan takes quick glances between the two. Both of their attire was nothing like the familiar attire of residents of Xianzhou Luofo, or anyone he has encountered up until this point. His eyes linger on the taller one who he had assumed was (Name). Holding an helmet that was held at the waist for a better view of her face and out of respect for being in a room with other generals. One aspect is that (Name) wore a (F/C) cloak draped over her shoulders that hovered few inches off of ground that lessen the worry of someone accidentally stepping on it. From the front were gold-colored tassels that handed from the collar of the cloak.

The general dismisses the apology with the saying that they were quite alright. (Name) and Abigail take their respective seats amongst the seven generals. Continuing on with the converserions at hand that changed from one thing to another. With Jing Yuan’s participation in said topics, he couldn’t help but draw his attention over to the (H/C) Ops Chief that was seated directly across from him.

After the meeting was done with some left over words, Jing Yuan took it upon himself to introduce himself to (Name) properly. It took her by surprise really since the little things she heard about the general is that he was more of the type of sleep a lot. (Name) wasn’t expecting much of Jing Yuan, but somehow their curiosity of wanting to know more about him grew.

How lucky was he to take the opportunity to talk to the divine esper of Athena.

As the time went on you grew more closer to Jing Yuan. It was almost like it was fate for the two of you seeing how you were both near each other at all times.

If one was watching over the knights and guards training, the other would be supervising from a distance. If one were to be training with Yanqing, the other would be praising but giving firm advice for Yanqing’s improvement. Having an Ops Chief and an General being seated in one room was more than just a blessing due to their high ranks and shared experiences of battle.

Specially on the battle field. The Xianzhou Louho experienced its first miramon wave. It was an shock to everyone that it would happen this soon since the was clarified that it wouldn’t happen this early. No matter, Jing Yuan got his army prepared to protect those who aren’t capable of protecting themselves and hold off the wave of unknown monsters that invaded the land. Pushing aside any other thoughts he had, Jing Yuan made it his primary focus to get to the front lines to see what was being dealt. But the thought of seeing you fight crossed his mind on instant.

“Focus your aim of the arms to weaken them! Don’t let them land a hit on any one of you.”

“Help the ones who are wounded. If you can still stand, hold off the ones who are getting to close to the breaking point.”

Jing Yuan witnesses how fluid your attacks are. With the weapon of your choice, you managed to hold back the enemies from the ones who are unable to fight. Using the shield to your advantage to block any attacks. But to also barricade the unsuspecting miramon to deal the finishing blow to it. It nearly felt like a blur watching you deal with the blows on the miramon. Driving them away little by little till there was none left to fight with. Standing with careful eyes before announcing that they were gone for the time being. Jing Yuan would smile in amusement at your quick-to-call performance, but didn’t deter from the fact that you were also injured.

Taking everyone back for them to rest and be healed, Jing Yuan took you by himself. He wanted to be the one to help you with your injuries but he had no reason why. Jing Yuan felt it was necessary, and that he wanted to hear about what happened from you specifically. Finding the blood seeping through the torn spots of your clothes from the miramon, he tended gingerly at the wounds. Occasionally looking to you as you made conversation with him to report on what happened at the front line. He didn’t miss the winces you made during the mending along with the soft hissing from the pain.

Despite having the divine power of a goddess, you were still human. You were still (Name).

That would add onto your true self showing during your stay at Xianzhou Loufu. As he is walking down the halls, he would find at the end of the corridor Yanqing tuning a sharp turn and down the hallway. The young ones face brightening as he hurriedly dashes to the general. He wasn’t alone though. You were running after him, attempting to make that sharp turn to give yourself a boost to catch up with him. Jing Yuan almost let’s a chuckle slip out of his mouth as he watches your figure nearly fall down. You barely caught yourself in the rush of the moment. Scrambling back to an upright position and took off once again after him.

“Damn it! Yanqing that’s not fair I don’t got any traction on these shoes!”

Finding out shortly after that the both of you were racing to challenge Jing Yuan to a sparing match. Yanqing being the first to sputter out the question that almost made no sense to him at all. He accepted nonetheless, but couldn’t help but feel joyous; seeing how you were able to get along with Yanqing in the matter of the few weeks you were here. You were like an mother figure to him.

Watching the two of them duel with a stern look on your face. You would admit that you were intrigued to watch a sparring match between the two. Which ends up with you somehow finding yourself switching spots with Yanqing. Summoning your weapon of choice whilst leaving the helmet that you always wore in the spot you were previously at.

“I want to see what you got, (Name).” Jing Yuan speaks in a light tone as he held his sword in hand.

A light smile came across your face as you got into an fighting stance. “Don’t come crying when I kick your ass.”

Thus one match turned into a second round of a sparring match. It ended with the both of you yielding due to how you both were able to keep up with each others attacks. Staying ontop of your feet as Jing Yuan made quick jabs to knock your weapon out of your hands, whilst it was the same for Jing Yuan to become unpredictable when you take a sudden turn. It was back when the first miramon wave came at them. Your movements were smooth once again as you focused on your opponent.

The break for you didn’t last so long since Yanqing was asking over and over again for you to having a sparring match with him. After a reluctant agreement to his endless questioning, you went back to your position to be at a distance with Yanqing so he can prepare himself. Your gaze turns over to Jing Yuan who stood near where you had left your helmet. Giving you an warm smile as you two started the next match against one another.

Though the time in Xianzhou Loufu hadn’t been gracing you with enough. You were an Ops Chief, and the Union had set you up with more missions in other planets that they determined you were the best fit for. You were supposedly use to being sent on other planets for the Union, but leaving Xianzhou Loufu so much made you become homesick. Unconsciously you would question yourself as to why you felt so connected to this place in particular. Was it because you would miss spending time with the resident that you consider to be friends? Or maybe it was spending time and teaching Yanqing more about weaponry. Being one of his guides and helping him carefully through the techniques for his improvement? With all these questions you find yourself thinking about the general himself, Jing Yuan.

Over the course of the weeks you had an realization that you and Jing Yuan grew closer. How did it take you this long to process your thoughts about Jing Yuan to realize what he truly is to you. Sometimes Abigail would be the one catching your attention whenever you space off in a meeting. Diverting your eyes away in embarrassment and shame, hoping that maybe Jing Yuan was too busy dozing off to notice that you were staring at him directly. You also realize the tension that came between you two anytime you were alone. You caught yourself almost falling for his teasing smiles whenever you had evening walks around Loufu. Catching his golden eyes peering at you from across the room was enough to almost make you implode. Of course, Jing Yuan wasn’t happy once he heard of the news of you being stationed elsewhere.

“Do you really have to go?”

“Mhm.. y’ know, Mother Odin orders it.” With an hint of sarcasm itching at your voice, you couldn’t help the annoyance being heard. You clearly didn’t like the last minute change and it was bothering you.

“Come back soon. I know Yanyan will be begging for another sparring match.” Jing Yuan’s soft voice rang through your ears. It was comforting to you.

“I promise I will,” You let the corners of your lips tug into a smile. “I’ll be sure to bring back a gift for Mimi to.”

“..you’ll get me a gift?”

And you kept your promise. Whenever he wasn’t busy with his duties and you were free of any missions, you would join him at Xianzhou Loufu. Nobody was blind to the growing bond you two shared. It was just like a blessing.

“Don’t worry. I’ll return with a victory!”

Act till she wins, sweeps through obstacles. Rational queen and ruthless fighter

I genuinely don’t know how to approach this idea lmao– this is probably ooc for Jing Yuan since I’m still learning about him even though I’m a good 30% way of the game

Spoiler alert: I was suppose to write Blade in this but decided to save him for later cause I burned myself out and it would be way to long >:/

[pigeonmilk-216]

As a bisexual bean, it took me so long to realize I could like to genders at once. You don't have to choose! It's great!

since it’s pride month. reminder that queer people having a healthy sex life is normal. queer people can have kinks. lesbians can express attraction to women without being gross or predatory. gay men aren’t scary. trans people are valid no matter where they are in their transition. asexual and aromantic people are included in our community too. non-binary people don’t owe you an explanation. bisexuals don’t have to “pick a side”.

we all have different experiences but we should all try our best to make each other feel welcome.

and the A has never stood for ally. hope this helps.