#so SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!!!!!

[pastel-peach-writes]

Hii, i just read all and i mean ALL of ur fics, but i saw you wrote for arcane women and was wondering if you could write headcanons abt them with a socially awkward/anxious reader?? If not thats A-Ok 👌 with me

Sure! How is everyone doing after the first three eps? I still haven't seen it but the edits I've seen... oh boy.

"I Got You." | Arcane Ladies Headcanons

╰┈➤ PLOT: How the ladies of Arcane(Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Sevika, Mel) act with a socially awkward and/or anxious partner

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Spoiler Free, On The Shorter Side, Cursing, Not Proofread

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

JINX

– At first, Jinx didn't get that you were socially awkward. She was used to people being awkward or even scared around her so she thought it was the same case with you until you two got closer.

– After knowing that your awkwardness was just you and not your fear of her, she observed you in social situations and noted what made you more anxious than normal.

– For example, she noticed you're more anxious and timid in bigger, louder spaces but if a space was quiet and quaint, you would be just fine so she often took you to quiet places for dates.

– If Jinx notices you're anxious in places you typically aren't, without a doubt she's removing you from the situation and taking you home where you can relax. No words, just grabs and tugs.

– She's tried the pep talk route before but it ended up in her rambling and somehow planning a terrorist scheme aloud... (yeah, a few patrons quickly left the area after hearing that), so she decided to scrap that idea altogether.

– At home though she would prepare what she calls, "A Safety Nest". It was a place in your shared space that had all your favorite things and trinkets, and she usually kept the space dimly lit and played your favorite music to calm you down.

– In social interactions where you take the lead in conversation, Jinx would quietly encourage you with big, almost alarming smiles and "gentle" pats on your back. Let's face it, Jinx can be socially awkward herself.

– Once the conversation concludes, she'll jump on you proudly, ruffle up your clothing, and pinch your cheeks endearingly all while calling you weird nicknames and quoting what you said while mimicking your tone and cadence.

––

VI

– Before you've had your first real conversation together, Vi could sense that you were an anxious individual.

– You fidgeted with your body while speaking, didn't hold eye contact long, and used a decent amount of filler words to casualize your sentences.

– She thought it was endearing to watch you act and move as if you thought no one truly cared about what you were saying or were afraid of boring others but you never bored her. She didn't think it was possible.

– You had tells and quips that revealed themselves with each conversation you two had. You showed more and more of your personality the more you got comfortable with her too. Vi loved it.

– When you spoke to her, especially when you went on tangents about things you were interested in, she always showed signs of active listening by nodding and asking follow-up questions. Even days later, she'll bring up the topic again to see if you have any updates.

– She made you feel seen and heard, something you've subconsciously craved. And when you went on your worry rambles, she consoled you and tried her best to stop you from spiraling.

– You thought about a lot of things and oftentimes about things no one else thought about. Vi thought your brain must've been exhausted with all the worries, doubts, and judgments that were usually wrapped up as others' but were truly your own; it was a lot for one person to handle so she strove to let you know that you were not alone.

– Is there a night you can't sleep because of your racing mind? Vi is there, holding you or reassuring you that everything is going to be okay. She can't sleep until you do anyway so why not speed the process along?

– You often had yourself stuck with your head stressing and worrying about multiple things at once and Vi was always there to bring you down to Earth.

__

CAITLYN

– Caitlyn's an encourager and a comforter with you.

– She's patient and silently allows you to take your time when gathering your thoughts midconversation but she'll also be the one to say, "It's okay, take your time," in the sweetest way possible.

– If there's an instance when you two are out and about and you really want something but are too scared to get it, she'll spring into action and get that thing for you. (Even if it was just a napkin).

– The only time she's frazzled socially is when you both are in an unfamiliar area and need to ask for directions. She'll stumble over her words and try to get someone's attention but they're moving too fast to hear her soft words.

– She'll get frustrated and you end up comforting her, but after a few backrubs, she's ready to try again. Her voice is strong and powerful, and people have no problem hearing her.

– You secretly thank whomever you have to for her determination but there was no way in hell you were going to walk up to a stranger and ask for directions like a tourist... which you were.

– Since Caitlyn's job has her socializing with a lot of people, she can get burnt out easily. Especially if work hasn't been going her way lately but even if she's burnt out and tired, if you seem to be more awkward or anxious than her, she's more than happy to step up socially.

– When you both have someplace to attend to or some event that holds significance, Caitlyn will not hesitate to stage a "social rehearsal" with you. She'll make flashcards of topics you could bring up, you'll both dress accordingly for the event in her living room, and she'll pretend to be an assortment of people so you can get used to different personalities all at once.

– It may seem like this is all for you, but honestly it helps her too. Sometimes she misses the personal cues of conversation leading the other to think she's a black-and-white thinking who has no time for pleasanties. Not true! She's very pleasant... sometimes she's just shy.

– Shyness is not a crime!

– After talking with the host and a few others she has to talk to due to her job, her social battery is depleted. She's extremely thankful you're able to recognize this and suggest leaving early. What would you two do without each other?

––

SEVIKA

– Oh, man. This lady found your awkwardness charming as hell.

– Your awkwardness was different than all the nerds and scaly-beings she's forced to be around. You were cute, looked perfect sitting next to her, and your awkwardness, as mentioned before, had a certain charming quality she can't quite place.

– She'll see you in your workplace trying to make casual conversation or small talk but none of your topics seemed to be landing. Your coworkers would give you a thin pressed-lips smile that she wanted to strike off of them to your attempts and then scoff at you behind your back.

– You were authentically yourself and those bastards didn't know what to do with it. They were scared, not her though.

– When you two got closer and comfortable enough with each other that you could tease one another or make playful jabs at the other's expense, no doubt she would tease you about your awkwardness.

– With those gorgeous eyes of yours, you would look everywhere else but her own, prompting her to say, "You know you can look me in the eyes, right? I won't bite", with the stupidest most shit-eating smirk on her face. And then when you look at her, a bit shocked and playfully annoyed, her smirk would only grow. "Unless you want me to."

– Sevika never made your awkwardness seem like a flaw. Your awkwardness came with you and she wanted all of you so she often encouraged your awkwardness.

– If she caught you trying to "reel" it in or realizing that you've talked for a few seconds too long, she'll playfully scold you and tell you to continue or to "let it out". Y'know. As someone who seethes dominance does.

– There would be an instance in which you go to Sevika asking for advice to be "less awkward" and her only response would be, "Why? I like your awkwardness, you don't need to change it. Anyone else who thinks otherwise is a sad loser and don't deserve to be in your life anyways."

– like damnnnn, okay!

– Safe to say you never asked her a question like that again.

--

MEL

– Mel understands your worries about what others think and the awkwardness that can come with it so she likes to help you in any way she can.

– If you're stressed about a council meeting and afraid of what everyone's going to think about the new perspective you'd like to bring to the table, she'll reassure you and tell you she's right by your side.

– If she can't physically with her hand on the small of your back, she give you nods of encouragement, raise her brows proudly, and look at you with that sense of pride and admiration in her golden eyes.

– After the meeting goes well, which she knew would, she'll congratulate you with your favorite drink and a night in doing all your favorite things.

– Even if there were parts in the meeting that were rocky, like the council people asking questions you weren't prepared for or getting rowdy, she'll say you did an excellent job and what you presented will help the people of Piltover.

– Oh, and don't think for a second that she wasn't sending glares and daggers to those who stirred up your anxiety even more. If looks could kill.

– Mel sees that sometimes your awkwardness and anxiety result in people-pleasing and she would shut that down real quick. She's fallen into that dangerous pool before and knows how hard it feels when you disappoint others and how much harder it is to get out of that mindset.

– She can get quite spirited with her encouragement...

– "Well, if they don't like it, that's on them! They don't know something good when they see it." "I've learned that hard way that you can't please everyone. You might as well say what you have to now. They can get over themselves later."

– It's actually quite attractive to see her stand up for you, even if she was standing up for the possibility.

– Always keeping her words in your mind, you find yourself navigating through life easier and you only have her to thank.

WC: 1,705

[idcbabyialreadylostmymind]

Motion!!

Sukuna x f!reader

Synopsis- Sukuna has his way with women, feigning them on before ultimately flipping on them with another woman. He thought he would do the same to you. Nah.

cw: Sukuna is a warning in himself, No sorcerer au, toxic y/n (we love) minimal dialogue, boxer!Sukuna mentioned, cheating (multiple), alcohol, quick paced, hookups, multiple positions, tit slapping, licking, oral sex, nudes, spanking, hair pulling, toxic relationship, ooc Sukuna

“I-I got my hands on my toes lookin’ for the hoes….if I get in this tequila anything goes”

Sukuna had just gotten out the boxing ring securing another undefeated win before his latest fling came up and bitch slapped him, throwing all the expensive gifts he gave her at him scratching up his pretty face. Can’t say he didn’t deserve it. He did sleep with her sister…..and best friend. But that or some other ending was inevitable. He was like this with all his women, they were a means to an end to him, something to fuck and play with. So it didn’t matter if that one left him he would just get a new one.

So he found himself at a party, a quite packed party. He should have known Gojo and Geto were in the most popular band on this side of the world; and god did they know how to throw a party. He nursed a glass of bourbon watching over the crowd to find the one. Then the girl who sucked his dick before walking inside passed him smiling at him, he grimaced he wished that people wouldn’t be so obvious about sexual encounters he didn’t even remember her name. Then he found it, found her.

A little minx in a tight black dress that did little to hide anything, your dark skin illuminated under the strobing party lights as bottle girls poured shot after shot of tequila down your throat, everyone was watching you, devouring you with their eyes.

You commanded attention in any room you walked in he could tell, you were just like him.

And his predatory gaze locked onto you, getting closer throughout the night, stealing glances from you here and there.

You were louder than the rest of your friend group giggling about leaving your ex or something he didn’t really care about, all he cared about was catching his prey.

You attracted people, men and women alike, surrounded you, giving you every bit of their attention and energy. It wasn’t a while till the spectators dissipated to their own carnal desires, that the hunt was one but who was hunting who?

The pink haired man with tattoos that covered his body, from what you could see of his body, and his body was amazing. He was well toned, muscles threatening the hem of the black shirt he adored and he filled out his black pants nicely. He had been watching you all night, he had a familiar look in his eyes, he was on the hunt; for you? He was perfect.

It was as if everything went in slow motion, you locked eyes on him beckoning him closer as you began to walk through the crowd. He followed pushing through. The flashing strobe lights made it hard to keep track but he never lost you. He followed you to a small room expecting to find you but he just found a small bed in a dark red room. The door slammed behind him and he turned to see you. Before he could say anything you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt locking your lips with him.

•• ━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━ ••

Sukuna had no idea how he ended up on his back you and him didn’t even exchange names before you were exchanging spit. Ripping each others clothes off, he had you on your back tearing a condom open with his teeth. Sinking into you he let out a guttural groan, you felt so good. His strokes were mild to begin with but you became bored. You raised your hips bucking faster and harder, digging your nails into the males tattooed chest needing more.

Sukuna got impossibly hard looking at you fucking yourself on his cock. You were intoxicating, his strokes turned wild and hard. The room filled with sinful music of your skin slapping and the mixture moans and groans. Your arms wrapped around his neck yanking him closer to you licking his face tattoo, making his thrust falter wrapping your legs around him; you flip the muscular male onto his back.

In the dark lighting of the small room you couldn’t see the small flush of pink that was brought to the man’s cheeks at your sudden show of dominance. You rode the man like there was no tomorrow, Sukuna could swear he could see stars the way your hips wined up and down at a reckless pace.

You had worked up a sweat for the both of you. A sheer coat of it covers both of your body’s. You were so close, grabbing his hand you guided it to your clit helping his circle the little bud before he took over rushing over it with his rough calloused fingers bringing you to the edge, his other hand held your breast playing with the hardened nipple before slapping it; you let out a dangerous moan as pleasure surges through you. Sharp nails dig into his shoulders to be sure you would leave marks in the morning.

Your hips bucked wildly as you came, your pussy spasming around his girth and he couldn’t hold it as you became impossibly tight around him he burst inside of you. Long spurts of milky white cum flowing into the condom. Settling down you catch your breath before slipping off of him, a hiss coming from both you and him. Licking his lips Sukuna watched as you got up your beautiful naked body on full display for him as you slipped your dress back on, no panties. Before leaving you turned back and handed him a small note, “In case you ever wanna do that again.” You wink before closing the door leaving him on the bed naked, discombobulated, and hard as fuck.

•• ━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━ ••

Sukuna had never experienced a woman like you. You were so alive, wild, and god the sex. Your mouth was sent from heaven sucking him nice and filthy. Spit dripping down your chin as you suck his heavy balls till he cums all over your face. When he wasn’t stuffing your mouth full though you had a mouth on you.

Handing you a 14k gold bracelet embedded with natural diamonds after you just finished him off he closed his eyes waiting for the giggling praise, but was met with a mere scoff before he felt a thump to his tatted chest. You threw the bracelet back at him, “If you think that’s worth this,” you tighten your bathrobe around your body, “you got another thing coming.” You say genuinely offended before storming off to the bathroom leaving him alone, irritated and a little horny. You both knew that you could afford all the things he gets you but like you would say, it’s the principle. What was he gonna do with you.

Not even two months in he had you moved in, fucking you any and every where, you were never not seen together. At his boxing matches, at clubs, v.i..p parties. And when he would take you to the club he didn’t expect you to be so raunchy, it did something to him to see a woman so open, so sexy. God he wanted to fuck you stupid. He didn’t even notice since he met you he never looked at another woman. It was as if you had him hypnotized.

•• ━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━ ••

“What the fuck is this?” Sukuna was angry, pissed even. Pictures of you being lewd with others and so many messages. You stood in front of a mirror wearing the very dress you met the man in, putting your lip gloss on before even looking and smiling. “Well what’s it look like?” You say walking over to the couch grabbing your purse, Sukuna was practically speechless, any other woman he messed with he wouldn’t have cared, he didn’t know what made his gut flip seeing these photos. “You just gonna act like there ain’t pictures of you fucking on other people expect me not to react.” You sigh, turning back to the male. “If you didn’t want your feelings hurt, you shouldn’t have went through it.” You say simply before giving him a kiss and walking out the door.

You knew men like Sukuna he would use you up and toss you aside if you let him. You just got to get on the same low, down dirty level he’s on and show him who’s boss. He’ll stay with you because he sees himself in you, he’s so obsessed with himself. It’s kinda hot.

•• ━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━ ••

Sukuna tried to go to other women, flip on you like he did every other women; but none of them could compete with you, your looks, your taste, your smell. He couldn’t get enough of you, but the same could be said for everyone else. He felt sick watching you post yourself on your story but he remembered who you came home to. But his blood boiled at the thought of someone else touching you, tasting you having you. He hated it.

Muffled moans are barely audible above focused thrust, his balls smacking your arousal soaked thighs creating vulgar noises. Your face smushed into $1000 sheets; sheets soaked in liquids that would be impossible to explain to the cleaning lady. But he would think about that later right now all he could think about was your sweet pussy sucking him in ever so tight.

With every harsh concentrated thrust your warm velvet walls tightened around him. He tried to hold his incoming climax, his hips going at an untamed speed. Every vein on his thick cock pulsating inside you wanting, needing to fill you up to the brim. His hands grabbed the globes of your ass massaging the fat before slapping it watching the recoile. He grabbed the roots of your hair pulling as he fucked you mercilessly.It was what you deserved, what you needed.

But the world went quiet when he felt you cum your whole body shaking as if a volcano ruptured. Your tight cunt held him with such disdain knowing that your pussy was the closest thing to heaven on earth and to lose you would send him into a psychotic break and knowing he can’t be the only one to satisfy you. Rutting into you before emptying his load inside your used cunny. Cum ran down your thighs as he pulled out of you. He thumped down onto the bed finally lifting your head, mascara ran down your face and lipstick was smeared all over your used puffy lips.

Sukuna had grabbed something from his side of the bed handing it to you, it was a blue sapphire butterfly necklace. Smiling up at the man you sit up still naked, “How much?” You gleam.

He smiles at your quip, he takes it from you unclasping it, you instinctively turn around. “$15,000…” He puts it on kissing your neck, casting goosebumps down your back. Your eyes had an unusual spark in them when he told you the price. He had your phone, his hand groping your marked up tits kissing your neck showing your new necklace off. “What are you doing?” You ask, making him smile against your skin. “What’s it look like?” He mumbles into your ear. “Say cheese.” He quickly snapped a picture before getting up, dropping the phone in your lap. You smile biting your lip seeing he deleted all your other photos leaving it to be only him.

But it was just a matter of time before you went out again, didn’t answer his calls,leaving him for days on end. But at the end of the day you always came back to him.

Never in his life did Sukuna think he would be sitting at home going crazy over a woman but here he was.

He finally got a taste of his own medicine.

•• ━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━ ••

A/N- this could have been wayyyy better but I haven’t written anything in a hooot minute so that probs the reason and this is my first time writing for jjk so yay!!!! I’ve been cooking this up for a while now and a few others and as always I hope you enjoyed

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about Wade's excessive sleep talking/ walking. He just sits up from his nap on the couch, Flips off random objects and people including Logan, the wall, the empty chair, and finally just goes "Fuck you, fuck you, and especially fuck you for eating my cheese tots!" Then announces even louder, "I'm going to bed!!" And just.. collapses back into his sprawled out position.

And Logan just stands there like "Huh... I didn't know chairs could steal someone's tots..." Then cassually sits down to let Wade nuzzle into his leg.

Speaking of heavy sleeper Wade I can so see Logan feeding him in his sleep because Wade will whine about something so Logan will just pop a pizza roll into his mouth and watch as he suddenly goes from whimpering to chewing happily "!!- ??....Mmmmh..." like a nightmare prevention care treatment.

Because of this, Wade has gained 6 pounds, and he is very upset about it. Logan is estatic.

The longer Wade slept, the better, and he now will try to feed him various things while he's napping, feeding him popcorn throughout an entire documentary, give him a fry here and there, nuggets, pieces of cookies, any foods he knows wades stomach will tolerate.

And when the inevitable happens and wade sits up, coughing and confused because a piece of candy just got stuck in his throat, Logan lies to him and tells him that Wade took it in his sleep and shoved it in his mouth.

"Oh... sorry." He'll say, but inside Logan knows the truth. Even if it took weeks, he would help him maintain a couple extra pounds, his acid reflex and stomach accepting much more foods when he was dreaming, then when awake.

[redrose10]

This was a request for fake dating with Jungkook and prompt #40 I think I have always been in love with you for @yoongznme. I hope you like it!

< Lemonade >

Warnings: Hints of body insecurities

#40 “I think, I have always been in love with you.”

*******************************************************

“I’m sorry what?”, you asked them to repeat themselves for the third time still not believing what you were hearing. When your boss asked to have a word with you about a promotion you thought it would include a few extra responsibilities and hopefully a much needed raise because being a makeup artist for an award winning kpop group did not really pay as well as you’d think.

You never expected to be told that you would be pretending to be Jungkook’s girlfriend though. It was some crazy plan that the company’s PR team came up with after he had recently gotten some bad press over something dumb and out of his control but at the end of the day it was still bad press effecting numbers which effected profit.

They thought that it would be a good idea to make it look like he was a loving, sweet, devoted boyfriend who could do no wrong. Somehow or another your name got thrown in the mix because you yourself were nice, polite, and you had this kind of the good girl next door thing that they were looking for.

You were nervous to say the least. Jungkook was attractive, no one would deny that. He was also always very kind and thoughtful when you interacted and you definitely had a small crush on him but you were a professional and knew not to let your emotions get in the way of your work plus there’s no way a global superstar would ever actually want to date a struggling makeup artist.

However you agreed, though you had the suspicion you really didn’t have a choice anyways if you wanted to stay employed, and they told you to be back at the building tomorrow night at 8pm.

So you did just that. You were in the dress one of the stylist left for you and you’d done your makeup and hair. Jungkook was styled perfectly as usual and he smelled so warm and comforting as he gave you a hug, “You look really nice Y/N.”

“Thank you.”, you whispered hoping he couldn’t see you blush.

The plan was to drive over to a very well known hotspot for dinner. Idols frequented the place constantly so there was also a stream of paparazzi and fans trying to catch a glimpse.

When you arrived the amount of people shocked you. As soon as Jungkook appeared there were earth shattering screams and so many flashes of light you couldn’t see a foot in front of you.

“Y/N, just stay close behind me.”, he said taking your hand and helping you out of the car while making sure to block the view of the cameras so you could get out comfortably in your dress.

Once you were in view the screams got even louder although maybe angrier. The camera flashes definitely increased though giving you a headache. The bodyguards began to push through the crowd with Jungkook close behind, his hand tightly gripping yours as you tried to keep up.

Inside, the restaurant was significantly calmer which you appreciated. Jungkook sipped on his beer while you stuck to a lemonade.

“I’m sorry the company is making you go through this.”, he said finally after a bout of silence.

“It’s okay. They’re paying me quite a bit so it’s worth it.”, you chuckled not noticing the slight grimace on his face.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly. Jungkook was a great guest and you relaxed enjoyed hearing about his travels and all the funny stories he had, especially the one about Yoongi tripping and falling face first into a cake that Namjoon had decided to leave sitting on the living room floor for some strange reason. He showed you a picture of Yoongi’s face covered in frosting and you couldn’t wait to tease him about it when you saw him next.

After dinner the crowd outside had died down a little bit was still enough that you had to put on an act. Jungkook pulled you close against him as he took you outside and right into the waiting vehicle where he continued to hold you against him even as the car sped off. It sent a wave of emotions through you so you made sure to create a little bit of space between you both just to remind yourself that none of this was real.

It looked like the plan was working perfectly because the next morning there were several headlines questioning who was the cute woman Jungkook was photographed with last night. The fans were also loosing their minds over it, posting over and over about speculations and rumors. You did your best to try and avoid most of them because while a good chunk were generally in favor of the relationship there were still many, mostly fans, that were not happy about Jungkook possibly being in a relationship. This resulted in you seeing some hurtful words about yourself m before deciding to log out of all of your social medias.

The next several weeks were filled with much of the same. Various stages photo ops took place so that fans and photographers could catch moments between you both. When the rumors finally started to become out of hand the company released an official statement confirming the relationship between Jungkook and you, a sweet, down to earth makeup artist that he had fallen madly in love with. The media and fans lost their minds.

You went into this whole thing thinking it would be easy. You were getting a big payday to basically hangout with Jungkook and let your photo get taken. You didn’t expect for your crush to grow into being full on in love with him but it was hard not to fall. He was so incredibly thoughtful and sweet. He was always ordering you lunch or bringing you a coffee even when the cameras weren’t around. When your cat needed an unexpected emergency surgery he paid for it in full after overhearing you cry to one of your friends about how you couldn’t afford it. He was always telling you how pretty you looked or complimenting your clothes with a slight hint of a blush on his cheeks. When you were visiting a friend and missed the last bus and you called him as a last resort hoping he could ask the company to send a car he drove over an hour at 2am to personally pick you up himself while staying on the phone with you the whole time so that you wouldn’t be scared.

After a few months of this it was getting harder and harder to remind yourself this wasn’t real.

Up until this point things were going great. Your relationship was doing exactly what the PR team had hoped. People pretty much completely forgot about his previous scandal and were focused on how he was a sweet and generous boyfriend. His image had never been better.

Then there was an incident. Jungkook was very protective always keeping you close to him. Even when the bodyguards reminded him that they were there for your protection as well he still insisted on personally seeing to your safety.

So one morning you were set to board a flight to New York. Of course the entrance to the air port was packed full of paparazzi and fans all screaming and trying to get photos and videos of you two. The airport had put up barriers but with the amount of people all pushing and shoving some of the barriers got knocked down allowing the crowd to surge in.

Security did their best to surround you guys and get you through the crowd but they were greatly outnumbered.

Thanks to the loud noises and flashing lights and amount of people surrounding you it all became too much and you began to panic. You held onto Jungkook, squeezing his hand that was interlocked with yours to try and ground yourself and remind yourself that you were okay.

“It’s okay Y/N. I’ve got you. We’ll get through this.”, he said trying to comfort you.

The crowd surged forward again. Thanks to your blurry vision and panic you aren’t sure exactly what happened but somehow you tripped ending up on the floor. You were trying to get up fast before you got trampled on but you kept getting pushed and shoved down until you felt someone grab your waist and pull you up. Instantly you recognized the familiar cologne and tucked your face into Jungkook’s shoulder as he quickly pulled you through the rest of the airport.

On the plane where it was quiet and safe you started full on crying. You felt so silly but you couldn’t hold it in any more.The fear and anxiety became too much.

Jungkook came over handing you a bottle of water and some ice for your bruised knee. He rubbed soothing circles on your back as the plane took off, “It’s okay Y/N. It’s okay. You’re safe now. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you.”

“It’s not your fault. You did everything you could.”, you whispered starting to feel a little better.

After a while you managed to fall asleep and take a small nap. When you woke up Jungkook was still sitting next to you. He was staring intently at your face.

“Stop looking at me. I’m always so ugly when I wake up.”, you chuckled feeling much better than earlier.

“Impossible. You are never ugly Y/N.”, he whispered.

He was fidgeting with his shoe lace. Something you had picked up on being a nervous habit of his.

“Hey Kook, is there something on your mind?”, you asked.

He waited a moment before nodding, “When we get back from New York I’m going to tell the company that we need to end this fake dating thing. I can’t do it any more.”

You felt like you wanted to cry again but you swallowed it down because maybe he thought you were too weak or why would he want to be with the girl who tripped an embarrassed herself and himself, “O-Okay. It’s up to you.”

“I just…I’m so selfish”, he chuckled, “I’m not going to keep putting you in danger though. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you Y/N, especially if it was my fault. What happened back at the airport…that was a wake up call. I’m sorry I ever suggested this.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion., “What do you mean you suggested this?” You were under the impression this was all the companys PR team but now it seems like he had a part of it.

His cheeks turned a bright red before he ran a hand through his already messy hair, “Well I guess I might as well come clean now.”, he turned his body to look at you fully, “Y/N when the company suggested this fake dating thing I was against it at first. But then…then I thought maybe I could use it as an excuse to spend more time with you. I’ve always thought you were really cute and sweet and kind and I had a bit of a crush on you. So I convinced them to get you to be the woman I fake dated. I was too shy to ask you to hang out so I thought it was a way to spend time with you and get to know you better.”, he made eye contact with you for a brief moment and you could see the fear in them. He continued, “I think I have always been in love with you. I love you more and more every day.”, your heart was practically beating out of your chest at his confession. You tried to stop him but he continued, “And that’s why we have to end this. I don’t want you getting hurt because of me. You don’t deserve this.”

He looked as if he was about to cry and it made you want to just cuddle him and make everything go away. Instead you chose to grab his hand and hold it on your lap, “Jungkook I love you too. I have for quite a while. Honestly, I didn’t think you would ever see me like that so I thought this was all your company’s idea.”, his shoulders seemed to relax a little at your words so you went on, “I know that dating you comes with lots of hardships but I think the positives greatly outweigh those negatives and I don’t mind going through them. If…if you want to I would like to continue to date you, but maybe actually date and not fake date anymore.”, you chuckled.

That got a big smile out of him too which warmed your heart. “I would love to keep dating you Y/N.”, he nodded. You cuddled in closer to him spending the rest of the flight talking and laughing and enjoying each other’s presence.

When the plane landed he had already arranged for a car to pick you up straight from the tarmac so that you wouldn’t have to endure the stress of walking through the airport with him again.

When he finally made it out front and jumped into the car he smiled at seeing your face, “I missed you Y/N.”, he then leaned in and kissed you like it was nothing new. “You already got into the lemonade didn’t you.”, he chuckled after tasting it on your lips.

“Kook we were only separated for like ten minutes and of course I did. You know lemonade is my favorite.”, you giggled.

He leaned over and rested his head on your shoulder, “Doesn’t matter. It was ten minutes too long.”

You gave the top of his head a kiss as the car sped off to your new destination.

[padfootagain]

Love in Verses (XXVII)

Chapter 27: ‘They loved music and swam in for a singer, who might stand at the end of summer’

Hi! Here is a new chapter! This one is one of my favourites… I’m very proud of Andy in this one :)

I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 5601

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

The Singer’s House

When they said Carrickfergus I could hear the frosty echo of saltminers' picks. I imagined it, chambered and glinting, a township built of light.

What do we say any more to conjure the salt of our earth? So much comes and is gone that should be crystal and kept

and amicable weathers that bring up the grain of things, their tang of season and store, are all the packing we'll get.

So I say to myself Gweebarra and its music hits off the place like water hitting off granite. I see the glittering sound

framed in your window, knives and forks set on oilcloth, and the seals' heads, suddenly outlined, scanning everything.

People here used to believe that drowned souls lived in the seals. At spring tides they might change shape. They loved music and swam in for a singer

who might stand at the end of summer in the mouth of a whitewashed turf-shed, his shoulder to the jamb, his song a rowboat far out in evening.

When I came here first you were always singing, a hint of the clip of the pick in your winnowing climb and attack. Raise it again, man. We still believe what we hear.

Seamus Heaney, Field Work

Andrew was kissing you.

Fingers in your hair, he cupped your face in a tender yet firm hold. His lips were divine against yours, your head spinning with the feeling of his beard against your soft skin, feeling intoxicated by his scent…

Christ, he was so good at this…

His lips fell away from yours to trail along your jawline, down the curve of your neck, and you shamelessly moaned when he nipped at the soft skin there, leaving it reddened with his kisses. You unbuttoned his brown shirt, your favourite, the one that made him look so… divine…

“I want you so bad, Y/N.”

His voice was rough, so deep it made your entire being tremble.

“The things I want to do to you…”

You moaned at his words, kissing him again, pushing back his open shirt until you could peel it off him, run your fingers along his pale skin.

You fell onto your bed then, now both of you mostly naked. It was a blur, how the world kept on spinning, how time kept on ticking, how the last pieces of garments disappeared from your bodies. You didn’t care. All you cared about was the size of Andrew’s hands as they splayed over your breasts, across your ribcage, over your thighs, how he dug his fingers into your hips, the roughness of his calloused skin making you shiver. It felt like he was touching all your body at once.

His lips were trailing along your thighs now, and you moaned as he left a few marks here and there, as he rubbed his beard across your skin to make you squirm, which worked so easily every time.

“Y/N.”

The way he whispered your name before kissing your inner thigh again…

“Y/N…”

His voice a little louder as his breath fanned over the most intimate part of you.

“Y/N!”

You opened your eyes with a jolt, looking around, completely lost, not recognising where you were…

A car. You were inside a car. Trees and the countryside through the window…

“Y/N? You’re alright?”

You followed his familiar voice to look into the driver’s seat, next to you. Andrew was sitting there, his frame ridiculously big in the secluded space of the car. He was driving.

“You’re alright?” he asked again. “You were… kind of moaning in your sleep… I wasn’t sure whether you had a nightmare or something…”

Your eyes grew round, you averted your gaze back on the moving landscape on the other side of the window.

You had fallen asleep… you had fallen asleep while Andrew was driving you both to Bray, holy shit…

You had a wet dream about Andrew… when he was sitting next to you…

HOLY SHIT!

“Erm… can’t remember it but… I think it was a nightmare, yeah,” you nodded, trying to breathe despite the embarrassment that made your throat tighten.

“I didn’t mean to wake you at first, but I was a little worried… we’ll soon be there, anyway.”

“No, no, you were right to wake me. Thank you.”

You tried to find back your composure while Andrew hummed along to Bruce Springsteen.

Indeed, you had almost reached Bray, would soon be in Andrew’s hometown. You watched the sea stretching before you, the water darker than usual under the grey of the sky.

The town was ready to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day, the streets decorated and full of colours. Andrew would miss the parade to rehearse for his gig, but you would enjoy the festivities on your own for a couple of hours before joining him again before the show. You had offered to stay with him while he rehearsed, but Andrew had asked you not to. He didn’t want you to ‘hear him fail’ as he put it. You didn’t want to make him nervous or uncomfortable, so you didn’t insist.

You were to meet up with his friends still. You were relieved when Andrew told you he wouldn’t invite Sam today. You had asked him, knowing it would be a great opportunity for him to spend time with her, but he didn’t want to invite her. You weren’t sure why.

For now, it didn’t matter. You were getting nervous as Andrew drove through the streets of Bray, and your embarrassment over your dream wasn’t helping.

You hoped his friends would like you. You had heard a lot about Alex, just like you had mentioned Siobhán often. You knew the rest of the group had been formed during their college days, that some of his childhood friends would come to the gig too. You felt a little lonely, but you hoped you would hide it well. You knew no one, except for Andrew. You hoped no one would notice how nervous you…

“Y/N… relax, it’s alright.”

You looked up at him.

“What?”

“You’re nervous. But there’s no reason for you to feel that way. It’s gonna be alright. It’s just a few friends… and besides, you’re not the one who’s going to sing tonight!”

He winked at you, shot you a charming smile, and it made your heart skip a few beats.

You scoffed.

“I’m not nervous.”

“No?”

“Not at all!”

He chuckled, shaking his head.

“You’re tough enough as you are, no need to pretend to be invulnerable.”

There was something so tender in his voice, so earnest, as he spoke those words, you felt your chest and throat tighten.

“Maybe I’m a little nervous…” you mumbled under your breath, making him laugh.

“You’re adorable,” he let out the words like a confession, making your body grow warm.

“It’s a lot of new people to meet,” you argued, and he nodded.

“You can leave whenever you want. Don’t feel pressured to stay.”

“We’ve come with your car.”

“I’ll pay for the cab.”

“That will cost you an arm and a leg…”

“Anything for you.”

The words were humorous, but his tone was too tender for you to laugh.

You remained silent while Andrew was waiting at a red light, asked the question that had been on your tongue for days once the car started moving again.

“Andy… why didn’t you invite Sam?”

You saw that his hold on the wheel tightened, regretted asking that stupid question. But he answered anyway.

“I didn’t want her to come.”

His answer was genuine, it took you aback.

“Why not?”

He shrugged.

“She doesn’t care about music. She came only once to one of my gigs, when we started dating, and I thought I wanted to make a living out of it. She was bored out of her mind. She never came again.”

You frowned hard.

“What about your poetry? Your readings?”

“She doesn’t like poetry. She never came.”

“But… but it’s you.”

You saw the way he struggled to swallow, the heavy bopping of his Adam’s Apple.

“I was never reason enough, Y/N.”

You frowned hard at that.

“What do you mean? You were her partner. She should have…”

But then you thought of Frank, and when was the last time he had shown interest in the things you loved most?

Andrew shrugged, his eyes fixed on the road.

“I don’t want her here today. I’m going to sing, and have a good time with my friends. I don’t want to think about her, I want… I want to move on, today.”

Slowly, you nodded.

“Do you think you can do that? Move on?”

Andrew gave you a sad smile.

“I think I can. I think it hurts, but I can.”

You saw him blushing this time, before he would speak again.

“Actually, I… I think I’m falling for someone else.”

You raised a surprised eyebrow. Your heart was racing, at first with excitement, and then with disappointment.

Of course, he couldn’t be talking about you… that was why he was confiding with a friend. It wasn’t you. And you didn’t care! You didn’t care at all, because you wanted Frank, you wanted the life you had with him, you wanted your life back. Andrew could fall in love with whoever he wanted and you didn’t care. You didn’t care if it wasn’t you, you didn’t care, your heart was already taken, you didn’t…

“I… I think it’s been going on for a while,” Andrew went on, clearly nervous now. “But I realised recently and… I don’t know… I want to wait, until I’m over Sam. But I don’t think I’m going to actively try to get her back anymore.”

“Oh… okay…”

“It’s alright, I’ll still help you, if you want. I’m not even sure what I’ll do…”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Y/N, could we… could we not talk about them today?”

You bit your lip, nodded in agreement.

“Yeah… sure… sorry for bringing her up.”

“It’s alright, I just… I don’t want to think about them today.”

You gave him a smile while he was pulling up in front of a small house in the suburbs.

“This is our stop. My friend Katie is hosting.”

You were nervous again as you walked towards the house. There were seven people inside waiting for Andrew and you, people you didn’t know, people Andrew loved deeply, people…

“HOZIER! YOU FUCKER!”

You looked up as a blond woman opened the door and rushed into Andrew’s arms for a hug.

“Hi! Katie!” he chuckled.

“You’re late! As per usual…”

“I’m not!”

“You are!”

“There was traffic!”

“Traffic, my arse!”

She turned to you with a bright smile.

“Oh, you must be Y/N!”

“Yes, I am. That’s very nice to meet you.”

“Come on in! There are beers in the fridge!”

You grinned at her, followed Andrew inside. You were introduced to everyone, greeted with welcoming smiles. Alex gave you a hug, which you reciprocated with a chuckle.

“I feel like I know you already, given the amount of time Andy spends rambling about how wonderful you are.”

“Alex…” Andrew hissed, nudging him in the ribs, but you laughed.

“He rambles about you a lot too,” you answered, and Alex heaved a dramatic sigh.

“I know, but I’ve already told him, he needs to move on. He’s just a friend.”

“You’re breaking my heart, mate…” Andrew dramatically put his hand on his chest for good measure, making all of you laugh.

“Y/N, are you staying for the rehearsal?” asked Katie.

“Erm… no, I think I’ll head out and enjoy the city.”

“Oh! We’ll come with you! Let’s split. Musicians here, and the rest of us out there enjoying the festivities and getting pre-drunk.”

You laughed at that, but nodded at the invitation. You stayed in the house for a little while, people merely chatting. And then the four musicians had to get to work, and you left with the rest of the group.

You had barely walked out of the house that Katie was beaming at you.

“It’s great that you could come Y/N! It’s nice to know that Andy is moving on, that he’s got someone he can trust up there, in Dublin.”

You smiled.

“Yeah, we’re good friends now.”

She tilted her head.

“Just that?”

You blinked, surprised.

“Erm… yeah… we’re friends.”

“Oh, I thought you were together.”

“No! No, we’re not.”

“Oh, sorry then! It’s just… Andy was so excited about you coming, and he’s been rambling non-stop about you and… Just… in there, he seemed so happy with you. I thought you were more than friends. But sorry if I got it wrong.”

You gave her a reassuring smile, tried to hide how your heart was pounding.

And yet he was falling for someone else… right?

You watched the parade with Katie, Maggie, Seamus and Sheila. Or rather, you used the parade as décor while you caught up on a lot of gossip from their friend group.

Sheila was married to Rory, the drummer. Katie was a childhood friend of Andrew’s. They had shared one kiss when they were teenagers and promised each other never to do something as disgusting ever again. Then there was Alex and Sebastian, who had met Andrew while in college, both of them musicians. Seamus and his wife Maggie had been Andrew’s friends for almost two decades. There were talks of a baby, Andrew would be the godfather, without a doubt.

You found the group welcoming, and a lot of fun to be around. They all seemed nice, all were kind to you. It was a little strange how they seemed so eager to know more about you, to easily speak of Andrew and you as if there was more than friendship between the two of you. You brushed that detail away. Your head must have been playing tricks on you, it was nothing serious. You had made it clear that Andrew and you were just friends, and you had no doubt that he had never lied about that to his friends either.

You were on your way back to Katie’s house, choosing to walk there instead of taking the bus. It was easier, it let you enjoy the celebration throughout the city a little longer. Besides, the weather was quite nice today. Better enjoy it while it lasted.

“So… you’ve met Samantha, huh?” Katie asked, and it was obvious that she didn’t like Andrew’s ex very much.

“Yeah, I have.”

“How did you find her?”

You shrugged.

“I don’t know… she’s not… bad or anything. Like, she’s pretty nice. But… I don’t know. Andrew told me she never came to his gigs or that she didn’t read his poetry. That doesn’t sit quite right with me.”

“We couldn’t agree more,” Sheila nodded. “There was nothing wrong with her but… she wasn’t right for Andy. And the way she kept on pushing him away…”

“He hasn’t told me much about that,” you confessed.

“He asked her several times to move in with him, she always refused, said that they were too young, that she needed to find herself first… It was bullshit. She was just… keeping him around but didn’t want for things to get too serious.”

You nodded. Thought about Frank, of the way he kept on delaying everything too. They had done the same, you could see it now.

Didn’t you deserve better than that, too? Couldn’t you have better?

“I’m really glad you’re coming tonight,” Katie gave you a warm smile. “We all are.”

“I’m glad to be here. I’m glad he asked me to come.”

“Hozier’s voice is… unmatched, really,” Katie nodded. “And he’s so good on stage. He would have been a brilliant musician, if he didn’t like poetry so fucking much, and if… if things had been easier at the time.”

“Hmm… He told me about his family.”

“Yeah, it was rough. Again. But they came through. I know that Sam used to think he had wasted his chance, his life, because he didn’t take a record deal at the time. But it was bullshit through and through.”

“The pop thing?” you asked, and Katie nodded.

“The songs were just… pop hits, really. Or written to be pop hits. And Andy didn’t want that. He deserved better than that. He was right to say no. And then he chose not to pursue music further, and I think he was right. At the time, it was what he needed. I will never forgive Sam for making him feel like he wasted his chance.”

“He loves it though… Trinity, I mean,” you told her. “It’s obvious. He’s an amazing teacher. And a brilliant academic.”

“I heard he’s popular there,” Sheila nodded.

You laughed.

“All the students love him. His lessons are always full. I get why, he’s good at it.”

“And he’s hot,” Katie added, making all of you laugh. “If I didn’t prefer women, and had never seen him so trollied he puked on my shoes… I might even agree.”

“He threw up on you?” you asked while laughing.

“Ooooh! I need to tell you all about that!”

The weather was good enough for a barbecue, something simple and full of laughter. The gig was to begin at 9:30, and the pub was nearby. You decided to eat and celebrate Andrew’s birthday before the show. You were learning so many stories about Andrew, most of them being embarrassingly funny. He was blushing, but seemed content with the teasing camaraderie that had settled in Katie’s garden. Indeed, you had rarely seen him smiling so much.

It was finally time for the cake, and Alex carried it from the kitchen, candles glowing and ready to be extinguished with a wish. You were singing too loudly, not caring about neighbours complaining. The beer and the cheap wine that had been drunk throughout the evening were enough to make you tipsy and merry.

Andrew was grinning as he blew on the candles, and quickly scooped up a little bit of icing on his finger, mischief painted all over his features as he did so, making you all laugh.

God, he was so cute. Adorable. And so fucking hot…

You tried not to think about the dream you had earlier that day, about what it meant. You couldn’t want Andrew, of all people, it would make things so complicated in your life… and yet…

“Alright! Gifts!” exclaimed Maggie, and she immediately handed him a square box and put it in front of him on the table.

Andrew blushed, his smile growing more emotional.

“You didn’t have to…”

“It’s your birthday! Don’t start!” Seamus argued, wrapping an arm around his wife’s shoulders.

You all brought out your gifts, and you felt so nervous when you put your own bundle in front of him. Meanwhile, he grinned.

“Thank you so much,” he mumbled, a smile shining through a thicker accent.

He opened the gifts one by one. Some were inner jokes between the group of friends, some were books, others music-related. He seemed happy with all of them. Katie made him wear a ridiculous colourful birthday hat, and he didn’t complain, merely giggled like a little boy. Then came your gifts, and you were so nervous and embarrassed at the thought that he might not like them, that it was silly…

He frowned a little as he noticed that there were several items in your bundle.

“You didn’t have to buy me anything…” he complained, but tore off the paper anyway.

First, there was a set of whiteboard markers, as he always lost his at work and constantly borrowed yours five minutes before his lectures. He laughed at that, rolled his eyes as you called him a thief, but couldn’t deny the truth.

He picked up the notebook you had chosen next, a leathered cover with a Seamus Heaney quote traced in golden letters.

Noli Timere

He looked up at you with surprise, but you merely smiled. He opened it to take a look at the pages, read the note you had written there.

For the poems I hope to hear one day.

He was blinking tears away as he put the notebook down, he didn’t say anything, and you could tell that it was because he wasn’t certain he could summon his voice. There were two books as well, one of your recommendations for him, and a special edition of a collection of Irish poetry. He let his fingers run across the beautiful covers, traced the letters before looking up at you. There were so many emotions in his smile.

“Thank you,” he let out in a breath.

“Happy birthday, Andy.”

You smiled at each other, and then Katie brought a knife for the cake. You saw how he carefully placed your gifts down, how his eyes lingered on them.

After the cake was eaten, it was already time to leave for the pub. You helped Andrew carry his presents to his car and were alone with him for a moment. Once all his gifts were safely placed in his trunk, you were about to walk back to the house, when Andrew called you back.

He stared at you for a moment, as if he were looking for the right words to say.

“I just… I just wanted to thank you. For your presents.”

You gave him a bright smile.

“It’s nothing, Andy.”

His expression softened, but there was something a little sad in his gaze as well, a longing he couldn’t refrain.

“It isn’t nothing. These… These were very special. Thank you.”

“I simply wanted to finally keep my markers.”

He laughed at that, shaking his head.

“I wasn’t talking about the markers, although that was funny. I didn’t even know those notebooks existed…”

“Oh, I ordered it. Like… I chose the quote to add on the cover. I thought… I thought it was fitting. I hoped it would help you write.”

You saw his eyes glistening, noticed the tears that gathered at the corners of his eyes.

“That’s really sweet. Thanks,” he spoke with such a soft, loving voice, you could feel your heart melt. “And the books… that’s really fucking perfect. Thank you.”

You grinned, feeling relieved that he liked your gifts. You weren’t expecting him to move closer though, it took you a couple of seconds to reciprocate his hug when he wrapped his arms around you.

You tried hard not to be overwhelmed by his scent, something woody and earthy that fitted him perfectly; by his warmth; by the feeling of his arms around you and his hands splayed over your shoulder blade and your back. They felt so big on your body, and you couldn’t help but feel safe under their touch…

“Thank you. For everything,” he whispered into your ear, his deep, low voice making your heart miss a few beats. “For coming today, for being here, for… everything.”

You tightened your hold on him.

“Thank you, Andy.”

You held onto each other for a long while, unaware of his friends seeing you and deciding not to interrupt whatever was going on. When he broke your embrace, Andrew leaned down to kiss your cheek, his touch feathery across your skin.

You hoped he didn’t notice how you couldn’t breathe…

The pub held a larger crowd than what you had expected. It had a decent acoustic, Katie told you, and some nice whiskey. You were high on laughter and the rest of the wine from dinner though; you decided not to drink alcohol for the rest of the night. You wanted to enjoy Andrew’s performance, and you needed your head to be clear for that. You had only a vague idea of what would be sung tonight. Some traditional songs at first, Sheila had mentioned The Humours of Whiskey and The Parting Glass. Then there would be covers of jazz, blues and rock songs.

You were so excited about this, you were buzzing with energy, your legs slightly shaking.

And then it was showtime.

They all walked on the small stage, the crowd gathered in the pub cheering loudly. Andrew was so tall on that tiny space, although Alex kind of balanced his friend’s impressive height with his own. Andrew greeted the crowd, and you were surprised to find that he didn’t seem so shy on stage, compared to how he usually was. He picked up a guitar, and the show began.

And God, what a show it was.

They were good. Like… actually good. And Andrew’s voice was so deep and powerful, he had something magnetic about him while he was on that stage. You understood now why everyone kept on saying that if he didn’t make it as a professional it was not by lack of talent, but by choice. He was truly impressive. You could only stare at him, the world forgotten except for him. His long hair flowing as he moved around the stage, the kicking of his feet with the rhythm of the song, the three undone buttons of his white shirt, the way he stared at you sometimes, glance darkened compared to its usual softness. And then he threw his head back as he played electric guitar, revealing the ivory column of his neck and damn…

… you had not been so turned on in years.

You were struggling to breathe as you watched him, as you sang along, as you danced with the crowd. When Andrew stared directly into your eyes as he sang in a growl, you were certain that your legs would give way from under you.

There was no denying possible left, there was no way you could try to fool yourself into thinking about Frank when Andrew was on stage singing like that and looking like that…

And then the tone shifted, the next song was quieter, a folk song for which he played acoustic guitar while he sang with so much emotion you started to actually cry…

Christ, you liked him. You liked him. Perhaps… perhaps even a little more than liked…

Andrew was beyond tipsy at that stage but he was allowed to drink without caution tonight, it was his birthday after all. And the gig was brilliant, he and his friends had been so good, the crowd was full of energy, he was high on adrenaline. And you… God, you were a ray of sunshine, now more than ever. Beautiful, radiant, and you fitted so well in his group of friends, and your gifts were so thoughtful, you were so funny like this, tipsy and about to fall into proper drunk, and you were just… you were…

“Andy, next time you and your friends have a gig, you need to tell me!” you ordered, looking serious despite how your words were a little slurred. “This was amazing! You were amazing!”

He blushed, but the liquor he had been drinking helped him accept the compliments.

“Thanks,” he gave you a smug smile and a wink, almost certain to have heard your breath stagger as he did.

“Alex told me he’ll have a gig in Dublin next month. We’re going!”

Andrew laughed, raised a surprised eyebrow.

“’We’?”

“Me, you… Katie and Rory are coming too…”

“I didn’t even know he had a gig yet… You signed me up?”

“You were already signed up, Alex said you always come. He looked so disappointed not to be able to come to your reading session for your poems.”

“Yeah, he’s all the way to Glasgow at the time. That’s alright, he’s seen plenty of those.”

You nodded brought your glass to your lips and only then noticed that it was empty.

“Oh! I need a refill! Want another beer?”

Andrew finished his glass in one large gulp, then nodded.

“Thanks.”

You giggled, leaned closer to confess something, and Andrew bent slightly as well, curious to know what you were up to.

“Can I make a confession?”

“’Course.”

“You were really hot out there.”

He raised an eyebrow, hiding badly the way his heart stumbled in his chest, the way he struggled to breathe…

He tried to control how his body reacted to this statement, he was in the middle of a busy pub after all, but it was difficult to do so…

“Really?” he asked, trying to sound smug and cool, when he was effectively struggling against his urge to simply smash his lips into yours and kiss you until none of you could breathe, and you could go to his car and be alone there…

You nodded.

“Not too bad, Andy. Not too bad.”

You gave him a flirtatious smile, before pulling away and heading straight to the bar.

Bloody hell…

He took a couple of deep breaths, tried to gather his wits.

You were just letting loose because you were drunk, this was nothing. He couldn’t let a two-minutes long flirt get to his head…

As a cold shower, his phone buzzed in his pocket and when he looked at the screen, the pixelated name of Sam’s was shining brightly in the dim light of the pub.

He hesitated to pick up, searched for you again. There were lots of people at the bar ordering drinks, you were patiently waiting for your turn.

He heaved a sigh, picked up the call.

“Sam? Everything alright?”

“Hi, Andy! Happy birthday!”

“Thanks,” he nodded, looking down at the tip of his white converse shoes.

“How are you doing? Celebrating?”

“Hmm… yeah, I’m out with the band, we had a gig tonight in Bray.”

“Awesome! Sounds fun!”

“Yeah, ‘s fun.”

“So… you played tonight?”

“Yeah, yeah… we had a full house. It was grand. Really grand, like… yeah…”

Sam giggled on the phone.

“You’ll need some water in the morning, you seem to be heavily celebrating.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to have the whole gang together, you know?”

“Be careful when you head home, okay? You’re staying in Bray for the night, right?”

“’Course, at Katie’s.”

“Good. That’s good. Be careful. Have fun, but be careful.”

“Sure will.”

This was such a normal exchange, why was he surprised by it? They used to have these kind of phone calls, back in college… why did he feel like she was holding back?

“By the way, while I have you… I wanted to ask you, for the wedding…”

Ha, there it was. What he had been expecting.

“Frank and I need to talk to you about the songs you’re gonna play at the wedding. We’ve made a little list, we need to see with you if it’s all okay.”

Play? The wedding?

God, he had forgotten about that… early on, right after the announcement, she had asked him to sing. He had completely forgotten about that.

And it hit him in the face then, how ridiculous that was. She had broken up with him to marry another guy, she had never come to his gigs, and she wanted him to sing at her wedding now?

But what did Andrew want? None of that… he didn’t want any of that…

“Look, Sam, I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“What? I’m sorry, the noises of the pub are very loud, I didn’t get that.”

Andrew didn’t want to raise his voice. He checked on you, but you were still waiting to reach the bar and order drinks. He made a bee line towards the exit.

The air was cold outside, the little alley at the back of the pub narrow and badly lit by a single, tired lamppost. A couple was kissing against the wall a few meters away. The alley stank, a mixture of cheap beer, urine and cigarettes, but Andrew didn’t pay much attention to it.

“I was saying… like… I’m not so sure it’s a good idea for me to sing at your wedding, Sam.”

“What? You said you’d do it!”

“Yeah… but… honestly, it doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

“Why not? You said you would! I want you there!”

“Do you?”

“What?”

He didn’t want to get angry. This evening was perfect, this day was perfect…

He didn’t back down, though. He was too drunk to be polite or cautious, to mind whether his words could be hurtful or not. He clenched his jaw, spoke his mind.

“Sam, you never came to my gigs, to my poetry readings, to anything that had to deal with my artistic endeavours… and now that you need a musician you want me to sing? That doesn’t sound fair. If you weren’t interested in hearing me sing for the past seven years, then you won’t be interested in hearing me sing at your wedding either.”

“I… I’ve always thought you had talent. It’s not my fault you didn’t pursue music…”

“It’s not what I’m saying. I still sang at gigs regularly after taking this decision. You didn’t come. You never came.”

“If it bothered you, why didn’t you tell me?”

Andrew’s eyes drifted back to the black door he had just crossed, thought of you and his friends all gathered in the bar, a group that loved him and supported him throughout everything…

He deserved better than Sam. He deserved so much better than her. And he had better. He had his friends, his parents…

God, perhaps, one day, he would have you…

“I shouldn’t have had to tell my long-time partner that it hurt me that she didn’t care about the things I love. I shouldn’t have had to tell you to come, Sam. You should have wanted to come. You should have loved me better. Get someone else for your wedding, I’m not singing.”

Before she could reply, Andrew had hung up, turned off his phone so he wouldn’t be bothered by it again, and then he walked back into the pub.

You were standing where Andrew was a minute ago, two beers in your hands, looking around in search for him, a puzzled frown on your brow. You grinned when you spotted him.

“I thought you were gone,” you pouted, handing him his new drink.

“’Course not. Just went to the bathroom.”

You nodded.

“Rory and Alex are challenging us at darts. Come kick their arses with me!”

Andrew laughed at that.

“Oh, hell yeah! Come on! Let’s get these losers begging for mercy!”

You gave him a toothy, excited grin.

“I’m so happy you invited me, Andy!”

His heart melted, there was so much love for you there…

And he knew he shouldn’t have used that pet name, it wasn’t reasonable to yield into that kind of intimacy when you weren’t his. You weren’t his… even if he was already yours…

Still, it was his birthday, and you were so beautiful, so kind, and there was so much love for you there, in his heart, that he yielded and said it anyway.

“I’m glad you came, love. I’m really grateful you came.”

[chleem]

Flashing Lights #6

Series; actor Drew x actress reader

Summary: Drew gets involved in the worst scandal of his career. One way to solve it? Proving to the whole world that he’s the sweetest lover to exist. Who better to help than the one person he can’t stand? You, an A class actress with an alcohol addiction. So, will Drew clear up his reputation, or leave with a bigger mess to clean up?

Genre: fake dating, enemies to lovers(?, slow burn, angst, smut,

Warning: mentions of alcohol, swearing, mentions of k!lling oneself, mentions of rape & sa, mentions of drug usage, smoking & vaping,

⋆.˚ please dont copy my work, if inspired please tag me

⋆.˚ this is entirely fictional, if uncomfortable then don't read

♡⸝⸝ chapter5 | index | chapter7 soon!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Mid-May 2024

It’s just you and Drew now.  

Laura left after getting the two of you settled in this hotel room, explaining how your stylists would be here in less than an hour, Vogue coming over to film a getting-ready vlog. 

You anxiously stand by the window, looking down to the city. It was beautiful; but your anxiety didn’t let you appreciate it. You wanted a smoke. A drink too. 

The no-smoking sign on the table catches your eye, and you look at the ceiling. Smoking detectors were on it. Fuck. So, you reach for the alternative. 

You pick the room cell up, typing the number to the lobby. 

But Drew hangs it up, then grabs the cell from you. You look at him, pissed. “What? That was important,” you lie, but it was partially true, you needed alcohol to settle yourself. 

“Really?,” he says, putting the cell back. He glares down at you, as if you stole his money or something. “I’m not letting you.”

You let his words hang in the air, sharp and defiant.

Instead, you reach for the room cell again. 

Drew harshly grabs your wrist, which you immediately shake yourself out of. “Hey. What’s your fucking problem?” You ask impatiently. 

“That’s what I should be asking,” he replies. After a few seconds, he talks again. “Why would you go out with him?”

Oh. So he’s asking about what happened last week. 

It was nothing. You met Theo at the grand prix, who was surprisingly friendly. The two of you weren’t alone on the yacht; there was a small party before it. Theo and you just stayed longer, and the media made it seem like it was like that the whole night. 

Of course, you were too drunk to remember the details of what happened when it was just the two of you, but from the pictures; yeah, it was really bad. Your PR team gave you a hard scolding for that, and even fines for breaking one of the terms on the contract. 

You cross your arms, holding your head high. You didn’t do anything wrong; Drew’s intimidating stare won’t break you; nothing will. “I didn’t go out with him.”

“Does he know that?” His voice unable to hid the mockery behind them. 

“Of course.” Lie. Maybe a lie. 

“Y/n.”

“What? I can’t answer for him. But I know it wasn’t a date.”

“Right, two people of the opposite sex alone, on a yacht-“

“Not a date-“

“With wine, table candles, food-“

“Not a fucking date-“

“Touching each other? Smiling like he’s the funniest shit ever-“

“Fucking shut up, Drew,” you say, slightly louder than him. What he’s going on about, is just stupid. You already got scolded by the PR team, you didn’t need another person telling you you fucked up. 

Drew does shut up, but only for a few seconds. “Fine, then what really happened, y/n? Tell me, tell me and I’ll believe it.”

You look at him.

“Why should I fucking tell you?” 

The anger in your voice isn't just directed at him; it's a mix of frustration and confusion, the feeling that you shouldn't owe anyone an explanation, least of all him.

Drew’s eyebrows furrow even harder, his tongue poking against his cheek. You go on; ignoring how you’re filling up his anger meter. “All you need to fucking know is that it wasn’t a date. Fuck, why are you even talking to me about this? It’s not part of the contract, it’s not part of-“

“Contract?” He interrupts, looking at you in confusion and disbelief, as if your point of view was absolutely shit. “What does this have to do with-“

“That’s the whole reason you’re here-“

“What the fuck does the contract have to do-“

“Every fucking thing, Drew. The contract has everything to do with you being here. You don’t even care-“

“I do care,” he answers quickly, but you scoff. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be talking to you-“

“Really? You do care? What do you care about?”

“You,” he exclaims, his features softening. 

Bullshit. “Your fucking reputation, you mean?”

He shakes his head, a smile on his lips. You furrow your eyebrows, feeling pissed that he’s laughing. “What-“

“You’re unbelievable, y/n,” he starts, and suddenly, his aura feels cold, different from earlier when it was just pure anger.  “Why can’t you just explain the situation to me? Huh?”

“I don’t want to,” you tell him, lowering your voice. No. You won’t- can’t tell him.

“Okay, because I might not care?” He asks, ignoring what you want to add on. “If I really didn’t, why would I ask?”

Drew’s blue eyes make you want to yield everything to him. There’s a bit of comfort in his eyes, behind all the anger, “because…because you’re just another co-star I meet. You don’t really care.”

You continue to stare into his eyes, challenging him to disagree. 

“But I do.”

He says it so faintly, that it felt like the words were your hallucinations. But he did say it. Well, too bad you weren’t one to be swayed easily by words. “Stop lying, Drew. It just makes you look stupid.”

You brush past him and reach for the room cell. You needed like, five bottles of wine to move past this. To even survive the film festival later. 

But Drew stops you yet again. “Let go of me,” you threaten, shrugging his hands off your wrist. 

He doesn’t budge, even after saying it a second time. 

“Why can’t you can’t understand basic shit?” You snap, finally shaking him off and putting the cellphone back.

If you knew your next insult towards him would end badly for you, you wouldn’t have said it. “You’re so insufferable to be around, you know that?”

Drew stares at you, furrowed eyebrows back in place. 

What was he thinking of now? Thinking about a better insult? Thinking about all your flaws? It’s evident that he wants to say something mean about you. 

“What? What were you going to say?” You ask, getting impatient. “Say it. I’m sure whatever you’re thinking, they have it worse for me.”

His lips form a small frown, but his eyes stay mean, staring down at you. 

Okay. Now this was annoying. Suddenly, he doesn’t feel like talking?

“Do you need help forming it?” You tease, stepping closer to him. His eyes flicker fast to your lips, before back into your eyes. “Let me give you a few ideas. Druggie,  coke-head, slut, oh, wait, BBC said something about me once. It was-“

“I don’t think of you that way.”

“Your face says otherwise.”

“You think of yourself that way.”

“What?” You scoff yet again. 

“You could be so much better, y/n. But instead, you let yourself rot,” Woah, what is he talking about? “Always getting drunk, smoking your lungs out, and putting on this- this sloppy attitude. You give up on yourself when other people haven’t. Why- why the fuck would you do that? Y/n, why are you treating yourself this way?”

His words throw you off track. It’s the first time someone has said this type of stuff to you.

You swallow hard, your throat running dry. For the first time in a while, you feel exposed. His words hit you like a punch to the gut, unexpected and hard. You freeze, unsure of how to react, how to process what he’s saying. 

“Why do you make yourself so insufferable?” 

You want to hate him for making you feel this way, for making you feel like you're doing something wrong by existing this way. But you can’t. He’s right, isn’t he? 

Even with the constant buzz stinging your mind, you still refuse to show weakness. You refuse to show that his words have impact on you. “No; you make me insufferable in your eyes. You hate me, you hate how I bring more trouble to you-“

“I don’t hate you-“

“You hate how you’re stuck in this situation with me, but you know that only I can help you out-“

“Maybe, but I realized-“

“You stick around and then act like you care-“

“How many times do I have to tell you I do care about you-“

“You’re just like the rest, Drew!” You yell over him. He shuts up, looking at you with furrowed brows. “The fame, the money, the people I can bring you, that’s what you care! You’re just waiting for your payoff. ”

The contract again. That fucking contract mentioned again. 

You see his Adam’s apple move, his features softening. 

The doorbell rings, probably the stylists. You look away from Drew, hugging yourself tight, to keep yourself together. 

He brushes past you, going to open the door. 

The crew starts filing in, talking and setting up like nothing’s wrong. The noise feels like a wall around you, a barrier between what just happened and the performance you have to put on.

You glance around. Drew’s gone.

He must've left.

——

You tried your best to make Drew’s words leave your mind. 

You drank a bottle and smoked half a vape in a the last few hours while getting ready, and still, his words left a scar on you. You couldn’t believe yourself either, affected by Drew’s fake concern for you. 

“Give it to me, y/n, we’re arriving.”

Laura’s talking about the vape in your hand. You take on last breath, before handing it over to her. “This dress is uncomfortable,” you comment while puffing out the smoke. This dress was very tight. 

“You look beautiful,” Laura says, and a part of you wonders if she actually means it. “Now, the cast is already moving along the carpet, you’re the last one.”

“Where’s Drew?” You couldn’t help but ask, knowing that you only attended the Cannes’ film festival to be seen with him. 

“Right… there,” she points out the window. You see Drew, in a black suit that matches your dress, signing and happily taking photos with fans. He looked… fine.

“Ready?” Laura asks, once the car stops. 

It was your first time at the Cannes film festival. You’ve always declined because of your ‘schedule’, but really, it was because of your anxiety. The flashing lights, the disrespectful questions, and audience that have high expectations. These reasons are mainly why you’ve always declined award shows, festivals, or any kind of event that required you to interact with people. “Yeah,” you force out. 

Laura opens the door, and steps out first. You take her hand when getting out, and while adjusting your dress, multiple cameras flash. The industry never changed, has it? 

Once you’re done adjusting your dress, you smile at the cameras, waving at them nicely. The lights are blinding, but you’ve trained yourself to not flinch to them. 

You walk down the red carpet, until you reach where Drew was. Of course he noticed you, all the photographers were shouting, hoping that you would stare at their cameras. 

He says bye to fans, before walking over to you. 

He doesn’t say anything to you, and you don’t either. 

Drew simply takes your hand and puts it on his inner forearm. You purposely grip tight, hoping to cause physical pain to him. 

The two of walk side by side until you reach the middle, stopping for photos to be taken. 

Drew wraps his arm around your waist, standing closely to you. You pretend something is wrong with his collar, smiling while adjusting it. You meet his eyes, and you just smile even more; acting. He smiles at you too; acting. 

Acting. Act. Act. Act. 

He whispers in your ear, making sure to get close enough so photographers don’t catch his lips. “You smell like grapes.” Oh. His breath hits your neck, and you feel your goosebumps rise. 

He moves away, looking at you lovingly; acting. 

You pat his chest and smile at him lovingly; acting. 

The photographers’ camera’s flash doesn’t stop, not even for a brief moment. All eager to capture every movement of this couple. Little did they know, while the both of you posed lovingly next to each other, hours ago a catastrophic fight happened. 

After a few more seconds which felt like minutes, one of the staff informs you to move up the stairs, where your other cast members were waiting for you. 

As you make your way toward the stairs, Drew’s hand hovers close to your lower waist, almost like a protective gesture. The warmth of his palm against your skin is an odd comfort, and for a moment, you forget everything else—the argument, the tension, the walls you’ve built up between you.

When you turn your back to the cameras, the weight of the moment hits you. The flashing lights and fake smiles are just a blur now. You face him, your words soft but certain. “You’re right.”

He blinks, taken aback, and lifts his hand, waiting for you to take it. “What?”

You meet his eyes, swallowing down the mess of emotions swirling inside. For a brief second, you think about pulling away, about keeping the distance. But instead, you take his hand, letting it slip into his.

You raise the hem of your dress slightly, your steps becoming more deliberate as you climb the stairs. “You’re right,” you repeat, your voice steady, almost as if saying it out loud makes it real. “About everything.”

"Y/n, why are you treating yourself this way?"

“But, the industry shaped me to be this way. I don’t know any other way,” you confess, looking at the stairs while saying this. 

The two of you reach where your co-stars were, and you let go of his hand. 

The director of this movie, which is about the working class in the 1800s, makes space for you in the middle, urging you to stand next to him.

It was the director’s first work, so he was very eager to have his main leads stand next to him. Not only that, but because of your performance in this film, today, it was nominated for numerous categories.

You do, and smile at the camera with the director’s arm around you. 

“I thought you wouldn’t come,” the male lead, whispers to you, a smile on for the photos. “You never come.”

“This one’s special,” you reply, referring to Drew. 

He must’ve thought you were talking about the movie, “good thing I persuaded you to take the role.”

The flashing continues, but the staff informs that it was time to head inside. You turn around expecting Drew to wait at the top for you, but he wasn’t.

You hide your disappointment, seeing your co-star offer his hand. “I believe we’re sitting together?”

“Yes,” you smile, taking his hand. 

The two of you walked up the stairs with the rest of the crew, and into the main venue. 

——

The standing ovation lasted around ten minutes. Yet, felt like eternity. 

The sound of clapping fills the room, surrounding you, and for once, it’s not just noise. It’s recognition. It’s validation.

It felt…extraordinary. Like something out of a dream. You couldn’t believe how many you’ve missed out on. You want to soak it all in, to savor the moment, but a part of you can’t help but wish you weren’t alone in it.

Your co-stars would stare or blow kisses at their loved ones, whispering thank you to them. But you? No one. Not even your ‘boyfriend’, who was gone from the start of the night. 

Even when going up to receive awards, you wished you had someone special to dedicate your speeches or awards to. Or someone you could lock eyes with in the crowd. 

You had no one. 

Drew was still gone, and you soon realized, he was gone the entire night. 

——

You push through the door, finally getting it open after multiple tries. 

You immediately fall to the ground, your legs and arms giving up. You laugh, still a bit drunk even after sleeping in the car. 

“Where were you?”

Your blurry eyes squint at the source, and you see Drew. He’s sitting on the couch, half naked and hair still wet. “I should be asking you that,” you smile, the alcohol in your veins making it hard to control your features. “I missed you.”

It wasn’t you talking; obviously the alcohol talking. Drew knew that, because he walks over and stands in front of you. “Where’ve you been?”

You look down at his toes. They’re funny. “Hey, your toes are-“

“Where the fuck did you go?” He asks more firmly this time.

You look up at him. His jaw is tight, brows furrowed in something between concern and irritation. But all you can feel is the burn in your chest, the strange weight of his question. “Why do you care?”

It comes out cold, defensive, but his eyes soften, just a little, as if he’s already heard the answer, as if he knows the real reason why he does care.

He bends down to grab your arm. He helps you up, placing your arm over his shoulder. You’re too tired to protest; letting him place you on the couch. He walks away, but he comes back with a bottle of water, a trash can, and some pills.

“Hey, drink some water,” he says, his hand going behind your neck, as he helps you sit up. 

His hand is always so warm. Why?

His thumb rubs the back of your neck while you drink the water, surprisingly, you find it comforting. You finish half of it, before handing it back to him. “Wanna tell me where you went?” He asks you much more gentler this time. 

“The afterparty,” you reply, as Drew removes his hand from the back of your neck. The warmth disappears, and you actually feel sad. “Your turn.”

“I stayed in here,” he confesses. His voice turns quieter now, almost hesitant. “I didn’t want to see you.”

Just because of that, he leaves? What a selfish dick. “I didn't want to see you either, but did you see me leave? No.”

“And I’m sorry,” Drew apologies. You look into his eyes, and see the sincerity in them that can’t be faked. 

“I felt so stupid,” you continue, “The only person I knew was you.”

Drunk you could talk about whatever you wanted, and no one could stop you. “I know you hate me, but couldn’t you have stuck around? You only had to watch me, you didn’t need to do anything else.”

A tear falls down your cheek. It feels almost foreign, as if your body is betraying you, allowing a moment of vulnerability you didn’t expect, one that you didn't know you were capable of outside of a scene, outside the cameras.

You quickly wipe it away. “I would’ve never done that to you.” 

And you meant it. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, the only right thing to say right now. 

Silence lingers in the air, the two of you staring down at the floor. 

“It was my first time experiencing a standing ovation,” you start, giving him a soft smile. He sends you one back, a faint, quick smile. “No wonder why people like going to award shows.”

“You’ve never been to one?” He couldn’t help but ask. 

“During the first few years. But after that… overdose incident, I wasn’t in the right state to attend public events,” you feel your voice shake; the memories of that night coming back to you. “Not only was I afraid, but so were the executives.”

You’ve never told any in showbiz about your drug overdose incident. Why are you telling him? Maybe, there was just something about Drew that made you want to. 

And sure, everyone knew, from the media, where things are often exaggerated and vilified. But, did anyone bother hearing it from you? 

This incident changed your entire life. To others, it was just hot gossip. 

“Have you ever had a standing ovation for you?” You change the topic, his lack of response worrying you. 

“No; but it sounds amazing,” Drew says. “I’ll…I’ll look for you when I do.”

There's something in his voice, though, something that almost feels like a promise.

“Will that time even come?” You decide to tease him instead, uncomfortable with how cheesy this is going. 

“Sooner than you think,” he winks at you, before glancing down at the pill. “Take one after you shower; you’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, before looking towards the bathroom. “I stink, don’t I?”

“Not the worst you’ve stunk,” he comments, and you roll your eyes. 

“Whatever,” you get up, but way too fast, making you almost stumble. Drew holds onto your arm, steadying you. 

“Need help?”

“I can manage,” you breathe out, shaking his hand off and walking over to the bedroom. You spot your suitcase, opening it and taking a shirt and underwear. You see the bed, realizing that it’s yet another one-bed situation. You peek out the bedroom door, and Drew immediately turns his face over to you. “Um, you can have the bed if you want.”

Shyly, you close the door, ending the conversation. 

—— 

Drew slept on the couch that night, without any protests. 

-------------------------------

word count: 3.5k

ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: a lot to take in for this chapter...phew

i have a one shot idea coming up, so look forward to it! same as usual, thx for reading, and sry for the long update (ignore my mistakes). i try writing as much as i can, but schedule doesnt allow it T_T

ps, is this a safe space? um, i was kinda losing motivation for this series a couple of days ago. but, i saw the taglist, and the ending i planned for this series. so, safe to say i got to writing!

[myalgicpierrot]

plain text:

u/Long-Day-815: So... Chorus.fm (an old music website with pretty good inside knowledge) has been talking about this for several days now, prior to the post. Some tidbits from a bunch of different users (every thing in quotes is a Chorus.fm post):

10/30: Thread is posted in this very subreddit saying MCR is doing a TBP tour in baseball stadiums. Gets the announcement date wrong.

10/30: "Heard there was holds on baseball stadiums in multiple markets........... presume average cap is more like 30k for most of them."

10/30: "Black Parade. Book it." "Yes. These shows will be fine, especially since there are so few. They might take time to sell out but they will sell."

10/31 (after the Reddit user's announcement date was wrong): " I didn't hear anything about an MCR announcement happening today. I did, however, hear about a stadium announcement happening on November 12. That's all I know right now."

11/8: " MCR tour is going to have different openers for each city. Be prepared to think a mixture of "ok that makes sense" and "hahahaha wtf?" for the selection they have lined up. "

11/8: "This is getting announced on Tuesday right? I think that's the last I heard "

11/8: "I've had a few drinks so will spill some tea subtly/not so subtly. MCR Openers include: WAKE ME UP (Evanescence), Life Taxi (Death Cab for Cutie), Vince Furnier (Alice Cooper), Fight Club (Taking Back Sunday?), long-ass Instagram posts (Thursday), and my personal favorite and biggest WTF of all the openers: a band that wears the good kind of red hat (Devo)"

11/8: "They're playing metlife, support for that date rules"

11/8: "The US leg is apparently pretty short (heard "about 12-15" but can't confirm it so would have people travelling too"

11/9: "Welcome to Rockville were reposting polls for band suggestions with MCR the clear winner a whole back and apparently replied like "we would never" to someone messaging them "don't play with us about mcr”. Not confirmation but suspicious. Danny Winner previously booked MCR for Aftershock and Dunes for that / louder than life so he does have a working relationship there. Just speculation"

11/10: “Rumors suggest they were taking offers from European festivals (but declined) a few months back, also rumors they were trying to get UK dates at the minimum."

11/10: Frank posts cryptic shit on IG.

11/11: Thursday posts a teaser of New Jersey upside down (Metlife) with the "...in the dark of a stadium" lyric

11/11: MCR posts teaser on IG. Frank and Mikey verify it's real.

11/11: "some details. black parade anniversary tour. July through September. All stadiums."

idk how much truth to it this has. but it's sure something. devo.

[mrs-elsie-barnes]

The Old Gods and The New - Chapter 26

The Question | Loki x Reader

The clean up of Tønsbergbegins and you settle back into life with Loki at your side. But there's still some questions still left to answer.

Warnings: 18+ A bit of angst, language, sexism & mysogyny antagonist character death and discussions of prisoner death. But also...FLUFF, suggestion of sex.

A/N: This is the penultimate full chapter! We have Chapter 27 and then a short post-credit sequence epilogue. Thank you to everyone still reading!

Divider by @reveriesources and @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist | Loki Masterlist | Masterlist

There was only so long the cloak could keep you covered with so many others at risk. You were sure another may have been able to hang onto its protection for longer, but the soldiers, beaten back as they were, were becoming desperate. Those still in the village had begun smashing windows, hammering on doors and climbing the walls where the stones allowed, searching for ways into the strongholds of the villagers. The very homes of the Asgardian people were at risk and, despite the blood still seeping from your side, you knew that they were far more vulnerable than you or Loki could ever be. 

Before you could make the decision consciously air rushed around you, the lights were brighter and the sound louder. The bubble you’d been protected in with Loki was gone but, so was a large portion of the village. 

Bres and the Vanir Prince rounded on you immediately, savage grins on their faces and blood dripping from their swords. 

“There you are,” the Prince growled. As quickly as you could you pushed up from the ground, supported by growing vines and leaves, to your feet. Your spear glowed blue, spitting fire at the approaching attacker. 

Beside you, Loki rose too. His leg, still at a strange angle, seemed to be healing slowly. Despite his odd weight distribution he revealed his daggers and flipped them both, eyeing Bres’ approach. 

“My lady said no, Bres, it’s time to retreat.”

You could feel the well of magic around you, Loki’s sedir gathering at full force. Your own magic, currently burning through its energy, knocking soldiers out of the way to return to you, flared a rich blue leaving burnt land and then flowers in its wake. 

Loki couldn’t take anymore of the desecration of his home, the disrespect shown to his family. He grabbed your hand and at once you felt your magic gather, a vacuum in it’s place and then. Loki. 

Together, my Goddess

Together

 A blast of green and blue magic shot from your joined hands, hitting Bres full in the chest and throwing him backwards. The Vanir Prince rallied his own, meagre, power but it was no match for your shared strength, he went flying, careening into Thor and Jane who held him down with Mjolnir. 

He maintained the assault with his left hand, magic flowing through him and out onto the battlefield, his right he wrapped around your waist, pressing on the flow of blood and supporting you to stand. 

“We win this together, my darling, I want you by my side.” 

You lifted your own palm, allowing the ebb and flow of your magic to dance inside of you, the hollow feeling before the blast becoming more and more familiar as it grew, crashing onto the enemy before you. 

Bres fell further and further back, his men now fleeing left and right until he lay on the harbour cobbles, sprawled at your feet. 

Loki stared down at him in disgust.

“I ought to kill you for this. This was war, Bres, and you know it, this is not the way of things in the Nine Realms any longer-” Loki’s jaw ticked in anger. 

“Nine Realms?” Bres scoffed, still attempting bravado. His only back up was now being dragged to the centre of the village by Thor, Stormbreaker balanced on his shoulder. “I believe your homeland was destroyed, Loki, Prince of nothing and no one.” 

The Prince cowered at Loki’s feet though, looking up with pleading eyes. 

“He knows not what he says, Prince Loki, please show mercy upon us.” 

Loki stared back, then turned to you. 

“My darling, this is your kill. Last time I performed the deed for you, now you are strong enough to do this for yourself.” 

Silence fell, Thor and Jane stood behind the prisoners, Brunnhilde watched from the wharf, making sure no one climbed back up. Korg was helping villagers from their homes, righting people, doors and flower pots with equal care. 

“I have never taken a life.” You whispered, looking at Loki, searching for the right path. 

“If you do not wish to start, you could grant them clemency, we have a prison here.” The Vanir nodded in agreement, eyes wet with tears. But Bres looked cold. 

“I knew you were a coward, Loki. And you’ve made her cowardly too. Think of all she could have achieved with the Vanir, all the battles she would have ended if you had simply stepped aside like the second son you are. This is no place for you.” 

“Bres,” the Vanir Price sobbed, “stop!” He pleaded, crying fully now. “I thought it was the right thing. I did. I wanted a new world, a new realm and I was greedy and foolish. Please show mercy, Princess Estrid.” He gripped your thigh in his muddy hands, tears making tracks in the blood that coated his face. You’d only really seen him on the battlefield but now, stripped of his helm, he was just a boy, young and lost, betrothed as you had been for reasons beyond his own desires. 

“Thor?” 

He looked at you, shocked, but waiting. 

“Take him to the prison.” You declared, coldly. If you could put off this decision then you would, for now. 

“Let’s go.” Thor took him roughly by the arm and dragged him to his feet, but he went willingly, calmly. “I’ll come back for that one.” He pointed at Bres, but you shook your head. 

“I’ve not decided about him yet.” 

Bres spat at your feet while you spoke, but you burnt the filth away before it could even land. 

“Why would you want them to make a new world, when this one is so beautiful?” The question came out as a whisper, your confused evident.

His sneer returned, teeth blackened by drying blood. “He’s a boy, that one, a welp the same as you, I would never have let either of you keep that land. But I did very much enjoy Ragnarok. Your boyfriend took care of that for me, thoughI knew you could do it again.” He eyed the charred grass where you’d been fighting. “You would have burnt the world to the ground and then it would have been mine.” 

There was another hand on your back now, Brunnhilde’s. 

“Put him in prison, decide later.” She suggested gently. 

“Okay,” you rubbed a hand over your eyes, smearing blood from your fingers. 

“You look a true warrior now,” Thor laughed, returning from the prison, “a true warrior, I will escort our friend here -” before Thor could finish his thought Bres had moved, sliding a broad sword from his seemingly empty scabbard, he lurched towards Loki. Daggers flashed catching the sword, then it slipped, falling to the cobbles in a shower of ashes.

Everyone turned to look at you, your spear out, the tip touching where Bres had once stood, his own ashes blowing in the wind. 

In the aftermath you found yourself under Loki’s cloak, the deep velvet so intoxicatingly him that you felt safe and warm despite the wound in your side and the scars on your heart. 

Brunnhilde, with the surprisingly organised help of Korg, managed to set up a triage and refuge in the Long Hall. Before long the smell of stew was permeating out from the kitchens and the usual cacophony of chatter was filling the space. 

Despite Jane explaining that she “wasn’t that kind of Doctor, Thor.” With a roll of her eyes, she still helped the local doctor and nurse bandaging up any wounds and sending more serious cases off to the hospital. 

Thor had tackled the swarm of journalists at the edge of the village as best he could, trying to distract them with little effect and eventually sending them away with the promise of a full interview with the entire court as soon as they had the village in order. 

Yet all you saw was Loki, his eyes sparkling in the candlelight, romantic despite its necessity since the powerlines had come down. And all you knew was that you loved him and he loved you in return. 

“Do you think we could just…go?” You whispered, tugging on Loki’s hand, “I’m so tired, I already got stitched up. Or do you think we need to stay, as a sign of strength or something?”

“My darling, after how you defended our people today, I don’t think anyone could be upset with you needing to rest.” He cupped your cheek again, wiping away what was left of the mud after you’d washed your face in the bathroom. 

Loki didn’t comment on the house, the smell of burning that still lingered from your uncontrolled rage. He didn’t comment on the way the bedroom was a mess, your clothes everywhere and the sheets still rumpled from your restless sleep.

He didn’t have time to comment because his lips were distracted kissing every inch of skin he could find, his hands carefully guiding you backwards onto the bed, propping himself over you on an elbow so he could continue to pepper kisses down your neck and collar without hurting you. 

His cloak lay beneath you, his presence hovering above and you closed your eyes in bliss. He was home, safe, apart from some battle wounds that were already well on the way to being healed. And although he would take time to move past the mental weight of being trapped, the pain of his sedir being restricted, you were at least together and together you could weather any storm. 

By the morning the village looked better, most of the debris had been cleared away and everyone was in fine spirits, organising for a feast in celebration of your victory. Loki had been clear that you weren’t to lift a finger while he tidied the house, the magical way, of course, and had settled you in an armchair wrapped in only the bedsheets with a huge mug of coffee and as many pastries as the bakery could muster. 

Today was going to be a special day, he’d decided. 

He’d woken before you, running out of the house and returning with everything he needed before you could stir. Thankfully you’d slept late after taking your pain medication, giving him lots of time to plan. 

After your coffee he ushered you into the bathroom where a full bathtub steamed, complete with healing herbs and extracts would help you sooth away your pains and help the wound in your side heal. Asgardian healing was incredibly advanced, the stitches growing new skin and sinew as well as holding the wound together, so Loki had no doubt you’d be fighting fit in no time. With you in the bathroom he could make some calls. 

That afternoon Loki coaxed you out from the warmth of the cottage to take a brisk walk through the village. 

“We were supposed to do this, do you remember? I promised you a walk on the cliffs.” He said, his normally long stride was tempered so you could keep up and enjoy the view together. One of your hands was tucked into the crook of his elbow for warmth, the other touched the budding plants that had covered the battlefield in just a single day. Although Loki had been hurt too, he’d healed quickly and now there was no way to tell that there had ever been anything wrong with his strong, lean body. Not unless you peeled back the layers of his sweater and wax cotton jacket to find the scars beneath. 

One the other side of the cliff the land swooped down towards a second beach, less hospitable to the boats and so more widely used in the hot summer for bathing. Now, with the winter still nipping at your noses, it was deserted except for a single green blanket, folded on a dry rock. 

“Loki…” You gave him a sideways look, clocking his mischievous smile. His eyes though, there was something else in them you couldn’t quite place. 

“Yes, my darling?” 

With a flourish he opened the blanket, letting it float through the air before landing on the soft wet sand. Inside magic shimmered - a picnic basket, cushions and a large umbrella to protect against the wind appeared, artfully arranged on the green wool. 

“Loki! This is gorgeous! Did you do this for me?” You dropped his arm, running forwards to touch the delicate tassels on the umbrella. “How did you even do this kind of magic, it’s amazing.” 

Lost in your excitement you didn’t notice the movement of the sand behind you, or Loki kneeling down on the blanket. 

“Can we - oh!” 

You turned and there he was, right behind you, on bended knee. “What are you doing? Loki…”

He merely smiled up at you, “Asynja, my darling, my goddess. I should have asked you this question all those years ago on Asgard, I should never have left any doubt between us how I felt.” He held his hand out, taking yours gently and kissing your knuckles. “You are the most wondrous person I have ever met and I would be a fool not to want to spend the rest of my life, however long it may be, worshipping you as you deserve.” 

“Oh, Loki!” Tears sprang into your eyes, he turned your hand over, kissing your wrist where your pulse beat wildly in anticipation. 

“My darling, will you marry me?” He slid his palm across yours, leaving behind a gold ring, the band was engraved with a tangle of flowers and vines, so fine and delicate you could barely see them, they led to a flower of gemstones with diamond petals. The central stone appeared to be a light blue sapphire, but as you turned it in the light it flashed emerald green. 

“Of course I will, Loki, I love you so much there’s no one else I could ever want to be with!” 

Grinning, he slid the ring onto your finger and swept you backwards onto the picnic rug, kissing your cheeks and nose as you laughed with pure happiness. 

Thor could only hold his excitement in for so long, rushing to the Long Hall and throwing the doors open as soon as you told him. 

“My baby brother is to be wed!” He boomed, startling the Knit & Natter group that had the hall booked for the afternoon. “Where’s the King?!” He bounded into the room, hugging each member of the group around the shoulders before rushing to the back office and throwing open the door. 

You’d both told Thor over tea and cakes in your little cottage, the afternoon had spread out before you like the picnic blanket, giving you both time to enjoy your new excitements and dreams, as well as reminiscing on your old memories and love. 

Loki had requested that Thor visit as soon as you’d made it back to the cottage, thrilled to share the news with his overexcited older brother. 

Brunnhilde’s momentary shock was soon replaced with similar excitement as she followed Thor from the office and back out into the Long Hall where she found you both smiling and being fawned over by the knitting group, when Madam Gina would let them get close enough. The ancient lady, the grandmother in chief of all the village elders, had your cheeks cupped between her wrinkled hands, squeezing tightly and whispering to you with tears in her eyes. 

Thor and Brunnhilde gathered round too, patting you on the shoulder and back and mixing their congratulations with the voices of the others. 

“We must have a party!” Thor announced, lifting his hands, “a large party with ale and mead and feasting, oh and music. There must be music and dancing!” 

Loki watched him indulgently, wrapping a protective arm around your shoulders and pulling you tight against his side. You looked up at him, his sharp jaw relaxed for a change, a twinkle in his eye and a healthy flush covering his cheeks and nose from your swift walk over. 

“Your highness, there must be a ceremony first.” Madam Gina interjected, tapping her papery hand on Thor’s forearm. 

“Well we shall have an engagement party, then the wedding ceremony of course and then an even bigger party after. We can’t have too many celebrations can we, not when my little brother is marrying such a fine woman.” He grabbed you both, kissing Loki on the forehead before bending to kiss you on the cheek. 

“Thor!” Madam Gina wrapped him on the knuckles with the end of her knitting needles, making the prince flinch and step back. 

“Please, Madam, tell us about the ceremony.” Brunnhilde offered, pulling her chair back out for her. 

“Well -” she coughed, “as you know Bres took you, my dear, to ascend and then be married.” She nodded, her eyes milky as her memories cast back through the centuries. 

“Yes, but I was never married.” Your heart was sinking, is there where she announced you had, in fact, been wed at some point. How did Asgardian’s get divorced, could gods get divorced? Your thoughts spiralled. Loki, sensing your anxiety building, lay a calming hand on your thigh, squeezing gently. 

“No, dear, you weren’t. Lugh took you and hid you and protected you from all that nonsense. But -” her cough was worse today, Loki noted with a frown. “You didn’t ascend either, you never joined Bres’ court as a named goddess.” 

“But, I joined the Asgardians, I’m a member of this court aren’t I?” 

“Of course!” Brunnhilde lept to agree, “we made you a warrior of the court, you are Loki’s betrothed now too, a Princess.” 

Loki squeezed you tighter at the word Princess. He’d whispered it to you countless times, mostly while he was buried deep inside of you, and now it had an almost pavlovian response.

“A warrior, yes, a court member, of course.” She patted your hand again. “But she has no role as a Goddess, no responsibility as Loki and Thor do.” 

“Could I ascend? Do we know how to make that happen?” 

Madam Gina looked at you and then narrowed her eyes, “of course I can dear, what do you take me for!” 

<< Chapter 25

Chapter 27>>

[joocomics]

hi bb who in xh that into degrading?

jiseok gets off on degrading you. he starts by teasing you during foreplay - with erotic kisses mixed with condescending comments on how needy you are; he’s pointing out all the signs that prove you become a slut whenever you want him, and he does it with evident pride and amusement. from there, he gradually enhances the degradation until it’s not just words and laughter anymore, it’s actions - pulling your hair, slapping your face with his cock that you must beg on your knees for, denying your orgasm while spitting wherever he wants on your body and your pretty face. he finds it very fun and arousing when you talk back at him for a while so he can have a reason to be even more mean; to really shut you up when he starts fucking you

gunil can be placed on the same level as hyeongjun; i thought about these two a lot cause i was unsure who’d come first until i came to the conclusion that (personally for me), they enjoy degradation the same amount, they just differ a lot on how they approach it and some few specific things that turn them on. gunil’s degradation kink is influenced by his passion for brat taming and the overall effects he has from seeing you lose your mind over how good he fucks you. yeah, he relishes the moments when he gets to fuck the attitude out of you, but he also simply enjoys the power domineering brings him; manhandling you and letting you know who you belong to. loves calling you his toy and knowing you’re unable to utter a word

hyeongjun approaches degradation with slight humiliation. he just really really enjoys teasing you, throwing sarcastic remarks which he knows you’re unable to reply to because the pleasure he brings you not only with his cock but also with his attitude prevents you from thinking properly; he often finds it both cute and amusing how desperate you can get. knowing his type of humour, you can say that degrading comes to him naturally; and it always comes with mixture of pet names and condescending smiles. he never tries to suppress his mocking chuckles as he stares down at you with fingers around your neck. loves pointing out how different you become when you’re alone with him and making comments about what would people say?

jooyeon loves how naughty you’re willing to get for him and that’s what makes the switch causing him to go from cheeky to straight up mean. when he’s being degrading he turns even more cocky, even more spoiled; degrading you almost acts like an ego boost for him where he’s not trying to tame you or to teach you how to behave like gunil. he loves that you turn into a disobedient slut and he wants it to stay that way so he can have as much fun with this version of you as he wants. he makes everything very filthy, loud and messy and likes showing off the strength of his grip by grabbing your face and pinning you down while telling you to stay still with your mouth open so he can spit inside it. if you’re into it, he will definitely slap your face, not only your pussy

seungmin isn’t into degradation in my opinion; he only teases you whenever you’re initiating sex and hint at him that you’re horny, but even then his amused tone comes out with love and affection. if you ask him to be more rough and mean he won’t say no, because he’s willing to try out most things with you especially if he knows you’re really interested, but the degradation will not be for too long and he’ll definitely sneak in praises while it lasts

jungsu is the least least likely to dip his toes into something like this. personally, i can’t even see him watching porn with degradation in it. he gets rough, yes, but only with his hips in order to make you feel amazing and to have you moaning louder as his fingers are intertwined with yours. sex with him is always romantic, very intimate and sensual no matter how fast and intense it becomes, it will not cross his mind to call you names or talk to you condescendingly because it will not make him feel good

[cherrielyme]

i like you best

Rafe Cameron x Pogue!Reader | 18+ content | no other warnings wc: 2931 ∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

It’s Liv who catches him looking first. “Don’t look,” she says, blowing the smoke from her joint out of her nose as she speaks. Someone has strung up fairy lights in the trees and she looks ethereal in their soft glow.

Of course you look, glancing behind you with an inhale on your own joint, feeling the pleasant burn of the smoke coiling in your lungs. He’s standing just outside the glass doors to the yard, staring with that single-minded intensity he gets about things. Obsession.

You blow out the smoke and look right back. He jerks his head a little, to the left, and you know what it means, know what he’s saying when you turn back around to stub out what’s left of your joint.

“I don’t know what you see in him, Ames,” Liv says, warning in her voice, her eyes tracking him as he walks back into the house.

“I know.”

She sighs, grinding out her own joint before checking her phone. 

“Hey,” you say. “You ok if I go?”

“Yeah. Jack’s gonna be here soon.” You wonder if she knows how much her eyes light up when she talks about her boyfriend, and then you wonder what your face looks like when you talk about Rafe. Actually, you don’t talk about Rafe, and nothing really makes you happy anymore, so there’s that.

“K,” you say, and move to go but she grabs your wrist and looks at you, serious.

“Be careful around him. I mean it,” she says, and your stomach warms at the worry in her tone. You guess some things still make you happy.

“He’s giving me what I need.” You give her a small smile, as if that will make it ok.

She frowns, but lets go and says “Ok. See you tomorrow.”

You trail across the backyard, not really in any hurry to get inside. Your head feels fuzzy, not too much, just a little bit, the way you like. You know he’s waiting for you. It’s quiet out in the yard, just the stoners and smokers and the Pogues who don’t care that it’s a Kook throwing tonight’s party.

The noise hits you like a slap when you slide the door open to the living room, the humidity hits you right after, and you blink a little in the dim light of the room, surveying the crowd inside. It’s a mix of people, mostly Kooks, some people you don’t recognize who are probably Tourons. There’s a harsh song playing, and someone has set up a strobe effect so you hurry through the room to the stairs.

The sounds melt away the further into the house you get, and you take it slowly, trailing your fingers along the wall. You know where he’ll be, see the room at the end of the hallway spilling soft light onto the floor.

You pause in the doorway, struck by him, just like you always are. He’s lounging on the bed, wearing a stupid pink polo and khaki shorts, and he’s barefoot, haloed in the glow from a lamp on the nightstand.

You shut the door, completely closing out the noise from the party downstairs, and you go to him.

He surges up off the bed in an instant, one strong hand around your waist, hot on the bare skin of your back in the gap between your shirt and shorts, the other tangled in your hair. He yanks your head back, and you gasp at the pain. He takes the opportunity to capture your mouth in a searing kiss, more teeth and tongue than anything else.

You wind your arms around his neck, holding him as tightly as you can. He moves from your mouth now, pressing open-mouthed kisses down your jaw before latching on to your neck, sucking and biting at the thin skin there. You moan, wanton, knowing that the pounding music from downstairs will ensure your privacy, but not really caring if anyone does hear. Distantly, you think that you’ll have to borrow one of your brother’s stupid ascots to cover these marks at work tomorrow.

He nips at you, viciously, and pulls your hair harder, encouragement to be louder. You whine, and grind down against him. He grunts, pulling you down against him, and you feel how hard he is for you, know that the only thing keeping you apart are his stupid little khakis and your cutoffs.

Suddenly, you can’t wait anymore, and you shove off of him, wincing when he comes away from your neck with a sharp sting. You sink to your knees in front of him, swallowing when he comes up on his forearms to watch you, bracketed in between his thighs. His hair is mussed and his lips are swollen and red, wet. It’s not fair, that someone like him could be so beautiful.

You touch him over his shorts, reveling in the way his eyes close and his head falls back, the way he breathes out harshly as you rub him. You go for his fly, but–

“Stop.” His hands are on yours, pulling you away from him. You’re confused, and a thin coil of embarrassment threatens. He’s not turning you down, is he?

But no, he’s speaking again, commanding. “Stand up. Take your clothes off.”

You do, reaching for the hem of your shirt, but he stops you again.

“No. Turn around. Do it slow.” 

You stop, look at him. His eyes are dark and his eyelashes are thick as he looks up at you, face expectant.

You turn and give him a show, pulling your tight tank top over your head. “Fuck,” he breathes out when he realizes you’re not wearing a bra. You hook your fingers around the waistband of your shorts next, slowly pulling them down until you’re just in your lacy black thong. You go to pull it down too, but for a third time, his words stop you.

“Leave it,” he says, and you shiver from the proximity and the need you hear in it. He’s right behind you now, breath brushing the back of your neck as he pulls your long hair over your left shoulder before licking a stripe up your neck and nipping at your ear.

Dreamily, you sigh, sinking back against him. He’s taken his shirt off, and you could swear you feel his heart beating as he presses his chest to your back. He wraps his arms around you again, caging your arms down against your sides so you can’t do anything but take it as he grabs your jaw with one hand, moving it to the side to give him more leverage as he goes back to ravaging your neck with his teeth. The other hand he puts on one of your tits, palming it and rolling the rapidly stiffening nipple in his fingers.

You can’t even drop your head back because of his grip on you, all you can do is take it, let the sensations wash over you. You can move your hips though, and you grind your ass back against him as much as you can, desperate to feel his length against you. And there it is, still tucked away in his stupid fucking khakis, but he’s shifted to, rocking gently against you.

He moves now, slowly walking you backwards towards the bed, and you think he’ll sit you both down, but at the last second he spins you so that the back of your knees hit the bed and you stumble onto your back. He goes with you, arms bracketing your head and hips snugly nestled in between your thighs. His pupils are blown, and you don’t know if it’s because of you or the coke you saw him do earlier or some combination of the two.

“Tell me what you want,” he says, barely a whisper, mouth so close you could capture it with yours if you leaned up.

“You know what I want,” you say, coy even though this is hardly your first time with him.

“I want you to say it,” he says, and your thighs clench around him involuntarily at the intensity in his voice. He notices, eyes crinkling even though his mouth stays in that harsh thin line you’re used to.

“Fuck me,” you say, barely a whisper, giving him what he wants. “I want you to fuck me so hard I forget about everything that isn’t you.”

He smiles, just a little, just a smirk, but it’s just for you so it’s ok.

“All you have to do is ask,” he says, just as quietly as you, and then it’s like a switch has flipped and he’s a maniac, pulling his dick out of his shorts and yanking your panties aside before shoving into you in one smooth motion.

You gasp at the stretch, the almost pain of it. You’re wet for him, always so wet for him, but he’s so big, and he’s rough. He doesn’t give you time to adjust to him, already setting a punishing pace, snapping his hips into yours.

He’s got one hand on your hip, fingers gripping so tightly that you know you’ll have marks in the morning. He lets go, just for a moment, so that he can yank one of your legs up to his shoulder, and you moan as this shifts him deeper into you.

“Oh, fuck,” he groans. “You’re so fucking tight and wet for me. No one else makes you feel like this.”

You barely hear him, so focused on the sensation, so good you could stay in it forever.

He doesn’t like this, and a sharp slap to your face brings you back. “Tell me,” he says, eyes hard, moving his grip down to rest lightly on your neck. He doesn’t squeeze, just rests his palm there, implication heavy and heady. “No one else makes you feel as good as I do.”

You nod, reveling in how it drags his calloused hand against your throat, how you can feel his fingers flutter around you when you take a breath. “It’s just you, you’re the only one,” you say.

“Good. Can you come like this?” he asks and before you can answer he moves his hand down to your clit, pressing in with his thumb, tracing the smallest circles.

Can you come like this? Yeah, you can, and you do, vision whiting out a little with the intensity with which it takes you, hadn’t realized how much the anticipation and his huge cock splitting you open had turned you on, how close you’d already been.

You cry out, first with pleasure and then with oversensitivity as he doesn’t relent, just keeps pounding away and circling your clit. You try to wiggle away, you’ve barely come down and you can already feel another orgasm cresting, and it’s not entirely a good feeling right now, but he doesn’t let you move.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he says, leaning close and biting your bottom lip hard and then soothing the sting with his tongue. “You’re gonna come again.”

You nod jerkily, knowing the game by now. This is what you’d asked for, when you told him to fuck you so hard the whole world was him. 

He changes his angle, just a little bit, getting a better grip on the sheets next to your head and pulling his hand away from your clit and moving it up to your throat. This time he does squeeze, just the way you like, light enough that you won’t pass out but hard enough that you can’t take a full breath.

“Touch yourself,” he demands, and his eyes shift from your face down to where he’s inside of you, to where you slip two of your fingers to the bundle of nerves. Even at your light touch, your pussy jumps, tightening around Rafe at the sensation, and he groans, hips stuttering a little.

You can tell he’s close, and you want him to come, want him inside of you, dripping down your thighs for the rest of the night. The combination of your filthy thoughts, your fingers, and his cock combine, pushing you over the edge once again. 

“Oh, fuck, Rafe!” You cry out, strangled, and you can’t breathe and your pussy tightens as it spasms, and Rafe finally pulls his gaze away from where the two of you are joined, his head dropping and eyes closing as he finally joins you, his hips smacking into yours as he falls over the edge, the sound of skin on skin obscenely loud in the quiet room.

You moan again when you feel him filling you, his cock jumping as he comes. He lets go of your throat and you realize how light-headed you were. Dragging in a full lungful of air for the first time in who knows how many minutes, you let him manhandle you, tugging lightly at your hair until you turn your face towards him so he can place a surprisingly gentle kiss on your lips.

“How do you feel?” he asks softly, and your heart hurts a little bit. When he’s rough with you, when he hurts you, it’s good. The softness is hard to handle. He seems to realize this though, because he doesn’t push you to answer, instead he pulls out of you, leaving you feeling bereft in his absence. The feeling doesn’t last for long though, because he’s already plunging two fingers into you,  holding your jaw so you can’t turn away from him.

“You only came twice. I bet you can go again.” With his hand on your jaw instead of the bedspread, he’s balancing on his elbows, and he’s that much closer to you. He doesn’t kiss you again, and you don’t kiss him, but your mouths are so close you’re breathing the same air. And now his fingers are curling, pressing through the mess inside of you to stroke your front wall and your whole body jolts at the sensation, so different from him pumping into you.

You let out another moan, still too overstimulated to do anything besides lay there and let him do what he wants. He shakes you, just a little. “Louder,” he commands. “I want everyone who comes up those stairs to know what we’re doing in here. What I’m doing to you.”

You acquiesce, your moan turning into a shriek as he does – something – inside of you that has you lifting your hips, involuntarily seeking more friction. He chuckles and you feel a blush forming on your tear-soaked face. He does it again and you’re really crying now, so out of your mind with overstimulation that there’s nowhere else for the emotion to go, both of your hands are on his arm, his wrist, clutching on because you don’t know what else to do and he twists his fingers again and tilts your head so his mouth is near your ear and you realize that he’s been saying something all this time, it’s just that it’s only now with his mouth so close that you realize it’s your name, he’s chanting it over and over again like it’s a prayer and– you shatter, screaming for real as you come the hardest you’ve come all night, practically gushing on his hand but he’s not stopping he’s still working you and you’re so oversensitive and his fingers are so big, you swear he added a third one at some point, and you don’t even come down before you’re flying again and you really and truly do black out at this point, the sensations just too much.

When you come back online he’s pulled his fingers out of you and he seems preoccupied with rubbing your thighs, massaging your combined fluids back into your skin. Of course he is, the freak is obsessed with having his mark on you.

You must have moved or made a noise because suddenly he’s laser-focused on you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, and it would be too much, too intimate but he knows that about you, and keeps going. “I love when you cry for me. Because of me.” And maybe that should scare you the most, that he knows what he can get away with saying to you, dressed up in language like he doesn’t really care.

He doesn’t let you dwell on it though, because he’s sliding his hand, the one that was inside of you, up to your mouth. “Open,” he says. “Taste us.”

And you do, tasting the swirl of his bitterness and salt mixed with your sweet, almost tangy juice. His pupils are still blown wide, his blue eyes deep and dark in the dimness of the room, and you know it’s been long enough for the coke to wear off, you’re not even really high anymore either, so it’s just him and you now.

You lie like this for a little while longer, letting him wipe your tear tracks away and trail his fingers over your skin and look at you, deeply, in a way he can’t do in the real world, when he’s a Kook and you’re a Pogue, and not just two people like you are now. 

He gave you what you needed. The world is quiet now, your problems feel far away. You feel sore and wrung out and sleepy. And if he can give you what you need like this, then you can give him what he needs too. Someone to lie with. Someone to be still with. Someone to take care of, even if it’s just in these quiet, stolen moments.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

if you made it this far, thanks for reading! this is my first time posting my writing lol if you like it please interact! i love to chat :)

[callistocalavarni]

shifting to the 60s

hii I havent posted in a while, I've been trying re group from multiple shifts while getting my life back in order but I think I'm back.. Anyway I have a bunch of stories from so many places I'd like to share and im currently working on how I want to post them. But I don't see a lot of storytimes so I think it would be fun to share some. So i'm gonna rant about some shorter ones here.

shifting with sleep paralysis

I wanted to talk about this shift because it stuck out to me and I can't stop thinking about it.. I had shifted about 2 times in the span of 30 seconds. For a whole week back in October I was waking up at 3-5 am in the morning without being able to go back to sleep. So as you can guess I woke up at around 4 am and was restless. At around 6 am I got tired again so I started my method and I know people say that symptoms don't exist but in the time that I have shifted all I can say is that I disagree.. Anyway, one moment I was saying affimations and then the next I woke up all tingly and in a weird sleep state I've never been in before. I didn't even say to myself I wanted to shift I just did. It was like my mind was on autopilot. Didn't say affimations, didn't go through my script in my head, didn't even try to use the 5 senses. I just started seeing myself in 1st person and what I would be doing in my dr without any forethought and shifted. The first shift, I was on a track running with a couple of men and we all were wearing 60s running wear. I had an orange and red tank top with matching orange shorts. It had felt like there was an orange filter in this reality.. if that makes sense. I was on the track about to run and I just recall looking around laughing.

When I shifted to this moment its like I felt my consciousness leave my body; Which is the weird part because I've never really experinced this before. It felt like I was being pulled up by something and all I could hear was constant noise. I don't even know what noise I was hearing it was like someone was screaming right in my ear or veryyy loud ringing/static. The noise was SO loud. I was in the middle of sprinting when I shifted back because I thought I was the one making the noise, I thought I was screaming..Thankfully it was not me. But When I came back I was still In that state and I could look around me but my eyes were still closed. It's like I was seeing everything from a different perspective. There was a spider crawling on my wall right next to me when I shifted back so I freaked out and the noise got even louder ! The spider was leaving black spots all over my wall,, I could not figure out what was going on in the moment ( when I was writing this in my journal I figured out it was sleep paralysis ) It felt like I was tripping on a bunch of pain killers when I shifted back. I still couldn't move so I shifted again to the same reality but this time I was in the shower... the noise got even louder. The noise made it feel like a bad trip and I ended up shifting back here to try and stop it. It took my like an hour to get out of sleep paralysis. Unlike the method, this reality was very enyjoyable. It felt like a Nina Brodskyaya song, I lived alone and I was successful. I think I worked at a cigarette company, which is ironic because I hate smoking. But I don't know for sure as I didn't stay long enough to find out.

Lumari is a country I scripted, Forlina being one of its nations.

This reality was late 70's early 80's and one of my favorite drs. I stayed here for about a year. I was in Forlina living in an all girls home. Forlina gives free housing to students so I moved out of my parents house to start collage. About six girls are given a room to share together, don't worry they are pretty big. I loved our room. It had big sliding windows that gave a view of the tropical forest. We each had sunken in beds, some girls who were home sick shared beds for a couple of weeks. It took me a while to get use to the amount of noise in the morning. There was this one girl who would blast music on the radio while getting ready. I only had to worry about this sometimes because I woke up pretty early. Art was one of my classes and the professer would make the class times either 7 am or 9 pm which also took me some time to get use to. idk the guy was kind of weird. I rode my bike everywhere here. I miss being able to ride down a bike trail and see the ocean. I've been thinking about shifting back here for some time. I might post more about this reality in more detail later.

<3

[pottergff]

dress.

hjp x reader ! (hbp - 6th year).

summary: gryffindor wins a quidditch match, so everyone celebrates with a party in the common room. y/n gets drunk and becomes more flirtatious than usual with harry.

warnings: not really, just mention of alcohol and sexual references.

a/n: this is inspired by the song "dress" by taylor swift and i also mention the lyrics (english is not my native language, so sorry if there are any mistakes) anyways, this was really fun to write, so i hope you like it <3

Gryffindor had beaten Slytherin in the Quidditch final, and as usual, Fred and George had thrown a party in the common room.

"Harry's going to go crazy when he sees you like this, you look gorgeous." Ginny said as she applied a red lipstick that matched her hair. Hermione nodded as she smiled. You giggled as you fixed your dress in the mirror. "I hope so."

And it was true, that dress looked amazing on you. It showed off your curves, showing off your bare shoulders and legs. Not to mention how good the black color looked on you.

Now, it was barely 2am and you were already pretty drunk, you were susceptible to alcohol. The twins had offered you firewhiskey several times and you obviously didn't turn them down.

"Damn, he looks really hot" You muttered to Ginny and Hermione as you looked over your shoulder at Harry, who was leaning against a wall and talking to some guys from the Gryffindor team. "What?!" They said in unison confused, clearly not hearing you over the loud music. "Basically, I said I want Harry to fuck me!" You said much louder, even Ron who was next to you had heard you now.

Ginny almost choked on her drink, laughing at the comment. Hermione exclaimed an 'Oh My god!', laughing too. Ron widened his eyes and burst out laughing. "Frisky, are you? You're really drunk" Ron said a little surprised by your attitude, and raised his eyebrows. "Shut up, Ronald" You rolled your eyes, unable to hide a smile. "And why aren't you going to talk to him? He's getting on my nerves with his stares" Ginny added between giggles and with a bit of defiance in her voice, before taking another sip of her drink. "Should I?" You thought out loud and tilted your head. "Yep, You should" Hermione nodded with a small smile.

The night went on and Harry's eye contact became more and more frequent. Every time you talked you could feel the tension between you.

The relationship between you and Harry was strange. Since first year you became best friends. Only in the last time you weren't just that anymore, you had kissed a few times and both had confessed your obvious feelings for each other. But you weren't a couple either. You were something like "friends with benefits".

As your shoulder brushed against Harry's, you couldn't help but think about what Hermione said about talking to her. Harry noticed the way you looked at him and felt watched.

"W-what?" He said a little shy under your gaze. "Nothing. You look hot" You said as if it were nothing, shrugging your shoulders. Harry raised his eyebrows and smiled, amused by your nonsense. "You think so?". I nod. "Well, thank you. I'm flattered. That dress looks nice on you" He added the last sentence in a lower tone, still smiling at you.

Normally you were a pretty shy girl, at least with people you didn't know. But when you were drunk, you turned into the complete opposite, the embarrassment disappeared and you acted with less filter.

You smiled when he mentioned my dress. "Only bought this dress so you could take it off" You said casually. Even with the lights on, you could notice his blush and the way his eyes widened. You obviously noticed how nervous he got too. “Uhm.” Was all he could say as he licked his lips, looking at you a little dumbfounded.

You smiled widely and teased him, raising your eyebrows. “Uhm?” Harry snorted in amusement, with a small smile, and looked away. You gently took his chin so he looked back into your eyes, still smiling.

“Is that all you’re going to say?” You said a little softer, still smiling and holding his chin between your fingers. When your eyes met his, his expression softened although his flustered state increased. “Why did you say that?” Harry said, still with an amused smile. He was also a little drunk, but not as much as you. You smiled again and replied “Cause I don’t want you like a best friend.”

You no longer cared about the fact that your friends and classmates were probably watching you, you were too focused on Harry to care about anything else. The pining and anticipation inside you seemed to be the only thing that you feel right now.

"Me neither" Harry said in almost a whisper. Despite the music, we were so close that I could even feel his breathing at this point. "Then?" You murmured, noticing how his gaze shifted from your eyes to your lips and vice versa. "Then what?" He replied. You felt both of their breathing heavy, his breath against your face. "Kiss me" You whispered, and without letting him answer, you kissed him.

When his lips found yours, that feeling of butterflies fluttering in your stomach appeared, as it always happened when you were with him. You gently tugged on his shirt, drawing him even closer to you. The hand that was on his chin, quickly went to his jaw. His hands found your hips and he held you tightly, making you completely glued to him. That action made you let out a small gasp, which he took advantage of to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue along your bottom lip. You followed him. His fingers tangled in your hair as he made the kiss deeper and even more heated.

After a few seconds, you separated, both of you panting from the lack of air and the intensity of the kiss. You couldn't help but smile as you admired him. His swollen lips, his raven hair messy in a perfectly imperfect way, his hands still holding you and a smile that mirrored yours. He looked beautiful, as as always.

We felt the gazes of our friends (even some classmates) and saw how they were all with their eyes wide open or with their jaws on the floor. We heard a 'Bloody Hell' from Ron. We both laughed.

Harry whispered in your ear, you heard his smile in his sarcastic tone. "I guess they don't know nothing about what happened." You smiled even wider and leaned in to whisper in his ear, smiling "Everyone thinks that they know us. But they know nothing about"

[girlwithadragonheart]

Chapter 4 - Ashes to Ashes

This story contains major spoilers for Dragon Age the Veilguard. Read at your own discretion!!

Rook x Lucanis

Summary: Kalais has to choose to save her city or Lucanis's. Things don't end well.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Swearing, Mental-emotional breakdown, Kalais snaps a little

A/N: I love when I develop a character that ends up not taking any shit it's so healing

Chapter 3 DATV Masterlist Chapter 4(wip)

We met with Harding’s Warden contacts in the High Anderfels. Antoine and Evka were both very sweet and seemed like they wanted to help. They said they had noticed some things about the Blight that lined up with what we were seeing, everything the First Warden didn’t believe.

They told us about another Warden in the area who was pulled into another mission. Lucanis and I made our way to his last known location. There was a tent and a fire still halfway burning.

“Well, I’d say we found the camp.” Lucanis crouched down on the opposite side of the fire from me. “So did some darkspawn, looks like.”

“They left the fire burning,” Lucanis said.

“Were they ambushed?” Lucanis and I glanced at each other.

We heard a screech, both looking toward the sound. I crossed behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He rose from his crouched position behind me as I tried to find the source of the sound.

The creature screeched again, this time louder, and a ball of feathers was fiving at me, about the size of a mabari. I held my hands out, trying to keep the creature from attacking me. By description, it looked like a griffon, but that couldn’t be right. Griffons were extinct.

“Assan!” A deep voice yelled close by. I looked over seeing a handsome, dark skinned elf. The griffon pounced over to him as he walked up to us, sticking close to his side. “Easy boy.” The man smoothed a hand over his feathers.

“I’ll be damned… a griffon,” I said.

“Trouble is, he’s not sure what you are. Neither am I,” the man said.

“Rook,” I said. “Evka and Antoine sent us. We’re looking for Davrin.”

“You found him. Mind telling me why you smell like darkspawn?” He asked. “Griffons hunt darkspawn.”

“We don’t smell that bad. It’s the tent,” I explained.

“Blight? Where are Lancit and Remi?”

“The camp was empty when we got here,” I told him.

We heard a raged cry from somewhere distant. “Assan! To the trees!” Davrin commanded. “Try to keep up!” He told us.

After killing lots of darkspawn, and finding all of the griffons locked up in cages sealed with blood magic, we found what Davrin called the “Gloom Howler”. Some kind of Darkspawn, undead, bitch queen.

She got away and took the griffons with her before we could stop her.

The four of us made our way back through the eluvian and the Caretaker took us between islands in the Crossroads.

Neve, Harding, and Bellara came running toward us, looking panicked. “What’s happened?” I asked with a furrowed brow.

“The Viper just sent word. Minrathous is under attack by a blighted dragon,” Neve said.

“Has to be the one we saw at D’Meta’s Crossing,” I said.

“Well, one of them has to be,” Harding replied.

“What do you mean, “one of them”?” Lucanis questioned.

“Teia also got in touch. Another dragon is attacking Treviso, too,” Harding told him.

“Mierda,” Lucanis cursed.

“You got back just in time,” Harding said to me.

I took a breath, putting my hands on my hips. “Alright. What do we know?”

“Two dragons at once? Has to be the gods behind it,” she said.

“Teviso’s a merchant city. It has no defenses. And the canals run everywhere,” Lucanis told me. “If we don’t stop that dragon, people will die. Innocent people. My people. They either die right away, from the dragon. Or slowly after, from blight in the water. We need to go to Treviso.”

“And leave Minrathous to burn?” Neve questioned. “You’re a Shadow Dragon, Rook. You know the Viper, Tarquin, every damn Shadow… We’ll fight to the end. But people will get hurt. Or worse,” she said. “And if we fail? The Venatori will take advantage. They’ll make a push for the throne. And hand the gods the entire Tevinter Empire.”

“If we decide to—”

“Damn it! There’s no time!” Neve interrupted me. “It’s my city. Our city. I need to be in Minrathous.”

“And I must go to Treviso,” Lucanis said. “Go where you feel you must, Rook. We cannot wait.” 

Without another word, Neve and Lucanis both ran off. “What’s our move, Rook?” Harding asked.

I ran over what I knew for certain in my head. Minrathous had defenses, including the Archon Palace. I was certain that me and two others would not be able to make much of a difference against a dragon. But I did know that Treviso was already under occupation and its people wouldn’t survive without some extra aid. I also knew that as much as Neve said Minrathous was my city, I was its slave long before I was its savior.

I took a breath, my chest feeling tight with the weight of this decision. “We help Lucanis in Treviso. We have to trust that the Shadow Dragons can take care of things in Minrathous. That said… two of you should join Neve there. See if you can help. And we’ll head to Treviso.”

“Understood,” Davrin said.

“Let’s all try to make it through this alive, all right?”

I brought Davrin with me, leaving the other two to go to Minrathous with Neve. I had to trust that they would be alright. I couldn’t afford to be distracted right now, lest I risk my own hide. When we got to Treviso, the city was burning.

Davrin and I made our way through the city, killing Antaam as we went. With the dragon trying to kill everyone, I suppose they saw their chance to really take over. Or, even worse, they were working for the Gods. ‘Cause that’s what we needed. More enemies.

We ran through the courtyard, seeing Lucanis and Teia up ahead. Lucanis looked so relieved to see us. “Rook! You’re just in time. Where the dragon attacks, the Antaam soon follow.”

“It is strong and fast. You must get its attention, then lure it onto the ground,” Teia said, hands on her hips.

“We’ll figure out a way,” I said, mimicking her stance.

“Draw up your courage,” she said. “We will need it.”

We took up position in the field, Davrin on my right and Lucanis on my left. Ghilan’nain, the horrible beast that she now was, all tentacles and no heart, demanded the dagger from me and said that Treviso offered nothing more than a pawn for Elgar’nan. She clearly couldn’t see the beauty it held.

She sent the dragon after us to retrieve the dagger. Most of my time was spent dodging blows as I tried to keep it off the other two, allowing them to actually hit it.

Enough of my panic built up, that I was able to aim some of it back at the dragon in the form of lightning and fire, beamed directly at its heart. Before we could bring it down, Ghilan’nain called it away, saying she had need of it elsewhere.

“You fought it off!” Teia ran over to us.

Lucanis clutched at a wound on his leg as he limped over to us. “If Ghilan’nain hadn’t called it away…”

“It’s more important that it stopped attacking the city,” I told him, casting a worried glance at the blood staining him.

“Everyone with a home that still stands will agree,” Teia said.

“That thing was tough. It’ll be hard to put down for good,” I sighed.

“What happened to Treviso would’ve been worse if you hadn’t arrived when you did. I cannot imagine how much worse,” Lucanis said looking at me gratefully.

“Still have to help with that dragon in Minrathous,” Davrin said.

“Let’s go,” I said.

—-------------------------------------

Minrathous was covered in Blight by the time we reached it. The streets were crawling with darkspawn and buildings were on fire. Even as I knew I made the right choice, it hurt to see this place like this. I had more bad memories here than good ones, but the good ones outweighed the negative. This was where I met Varric, after all.

We found Neve and Tarquin huddled around Ashur who was on a table, looking miserable and wounded.

“We’re here. What’s the situation?” I asked.

“Where were you?” Neve demanded.

“Treviso. The dragon—”

“This is your city! I thought—”

“My city?!” I almost laughed in her face. “You mean the city I was enslaved to? You mean the city that showed me and other people like me no kindness? The city that’s been corrupted since the beginning of Thedas?”

“And because we were busy fighting the bigger evil, the Venatori took large parts of the city!” She yelled. “We lost people. And Ashur…”

“I’m fine,” he grunted. “She’s right.”

“You are not fine,” Tarquin said, standing. “He took a claw to the gut. A claw from a blighted dragon. Think about that,” he said to me.

“The blight’s in his blood. But that means…” All my fire was gone, and I was just exhausted.

“A slow death,” Neve finished. 

“You’ve brought nothing but trouble since you came back,” Tarquin growled.

My brows furrowed, pained and hurt. Dorian led me to them and all I did was fuck everything up. Lucanis stepped closer, almost protectively.

“It’s not Rook’s fault,” Ashur said. “I chose to engage it.”

“Because it was going for a safe house! Because half of us were already dead!” Tarquin shouted.

“Do you honestly think one more fucking person would’ve changed the outcome?” I questioned.

Tarquin spun on me. “No, but maybe you would be dying instead of him.”

I physically recoiled from the hatred in his eyes, my gut twisting with nausea. I bumped into Lucanis, and he steadied me with a hand on my waist.

“Just go. There’s nothing you can do here,” Neve said, looking over at Ashur.

—-------------------------------

I stumbled through the eluvian in the lighthouse, clutching my chest. My stomach churned, and I thought I might throw up.

“Rook!” I heard Bellara behind me, but I didn’t stop, heading straight through the hall and up the stairs. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t lead, I wasn’t cut out for it.

I let my feet guide me and before I knew it, I was in the infirmary. Varric looked alarmed as I collapsed to my knees beside his bed, tears rolling down my cheeks. “I fucked up,” I whimpered. “I fucked up, Varric.”

“Hey, hey, hey, kid, take a breath.” He shifted, and I felt his warm hand on my shoulder, gripping me just tight enough to bring me back to reality. “What happened?”

“Minrathous---” I started, getting cut off by a sob. “Minrathous is burning. They took it- The gods took it, and Neve…” My body shook, wracked with sobs as I tried to breathe. “She’s so mad. I don’t think she’s coming back, Varric.” I looked up at him with bleary eyes.

He moved, sliding to the edge of the bed until I was between his legs, and he pulled me into his chest. “Easy, kid.” He had one arm tight around my shoulders, his other hand smoothing my hair. “You can’t save everyone. That’s the life.”

“Neve trusted me. She trusted me and Minrathous is burning now,” I whimpered, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to suck up the warmth he was giving me. It was so hard to breathe.

“You made a decision based on what limited knowledge you had,” Varric said. “No one can ask any more of you than that. Neve will come back around. Give her time.”

“We don’t have time, Varric,” I said desperately.

“So keep moving forward. That’s what you do, Rook. That’s what you’ve always done,” he said. “She’ll either come around or she won’t. But you can’t afford to spend what little time you have regretting your choices. Let me ask you something: Do you regret the choice you made? Or just Neve?”

I felt silent in contemplation. “I made the right choice,” I said carefully. “Treviso has no defenses, and it’s under occupation by the Antaam. I couldn’t have changed the outcome in Minrathous.” I had to believe that, if nothing else.

Varric squeezed my shoulder, and I pulled back, looking up at him. He smiled with that softness in his eyes that was just reserved for me. He put his thumb and forefinger under my chin so I looked at him. “Then you did the right thing,” he said simply. Carefully, he used his thumbs to wipe my face of tears. “Cheer up, kid. The night may be long, but it isn’t all dark.”

I heard what he said and what he didn’t. Minrathous was doomed to fall some day. We had been fighting a losing battle regardless, much as I hated to leave behind the people there. Half of them were under Venatori control, and the other half were too helpless to fight against it.

“Chin up, Rook. I think the others need you,” he told me.

I nodded, sniffling and wiping the remainder of my tears from my chin and jaw. “I need to talk to Solas.”

“If Chuckles pisses you off too much, hit him for me,” he said as he slid back up to the wall.

I couldn’t help but laugh a bit, shaking my head as I left.

---------------------------------------

“When last we spoke, you were hunting for followers of Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain in hopes of finding “specifics”. Has your search been successful?” Solas asked.

“You could say that. It looks like both the Venatori and the Antaam are working for Elgar’nan and Ghilan���nain,” I told him.

“Unsurprising. The Venatori want magical secrets, and the Antaam want to destroy anyone opposing their brutal expansion. Both will readily bow to anyone who promises them power.”

“It’s more than a promise this time. The Antaam and the Venatori both have dragons doing their bidding.”

“Dragons?” He said surprised. “That is worse than I had feared.”

“Yeah. We drove off the one the Antaam brought to Treviso—barely,” I crossed my arms.

“Have you determined how the dragons are being directed? If it is blood magic, it may be possible to disrupt their control.”

“The dragons are blighted. We think that’s what let the gods control them.”

“The blight. Of course.”

“The blight seems to be the gods’ favored tool right now. We ran into Venatori who could control darkspawn,” I said.

“Elgar’nan would not bestow such power unless the darkspawn were to serve as the main force of his army. And I suspect Ghilan’nain will see the darkspawn as new subjects for her… modifications.”

“We’ve already run into a few darkspawn nobody has seen before. That’s in addition to the blighted dragons.”

“That is the fate Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain plan for this world, then. Corruption and blighted slavery,” Solas said, hands clasped behind his back.

“Right… Everyone should be free and uncorrupted when your demons and raw magic kill them,” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Do you truly believe my goal was to destroy this world?” He asked.

“I believe you’re ‘goal’, like you said, was to transfer the gods to a better prison—the one you’re stuck in now. And you were willing to tear down the Veil and destroy with world while you did so,” I spat.

“The Veil is a wound I cut into the Fade in a moment of desperation while aking their prison. It should not exist. I had a host of spirits ready to help when the Veil fell. They would have minimized the loss of life.”

“Do you have any idea what you sound like? You could’ve actually saved the world from the blight, but instead you chose to kill thousands of people with your vanity project!” I shouted.

“It is not vanity! I broke this world. I am the only one who can fix it!”

His shouting didn’t faze me with the huge ravine and the Fade between us. “Spoken like a god,” I said with all the contempt I felt.

“I am not a god! I am as I have always been: a man, all too aware of his failings… But equally aware that if he did not act, accepting the judgment it would bring, all would be lost. They called me the Dread Wolf. What will they call you, when this is over?” He wondered.

“I don’t care what they call me. If they’re calling me anything, it means they’re still alive. That’s all that matters.”

“Acceptance. You are willing to face the consequences your actions may one day bring, because the world needs you. I believe I can work with that.” He smiled, though it felt anything but sincere. “If the gods are using dragons, you will wish to find someone trained to fight them. Have you unlocked the lighthouse eluvian?”

“Yes. We found the Crossroads. It’s still confusing, though.”

“I cannot help you from in here. You may need to find an expert in the magic of the Fade. And if the Darkspawn are to be Elgar’nan’s army, you will need Grey Wardens to fight them.”

“I’ve got a few of them. Their leaders don’t trust me right now, though.”

“I have faith in you, Rook,” Solas said. “You seem to have a knack for gaining the cooperation of your adversaries.”

---------------------------------------

I woke up in a cold sweat---as I often did these days---to someone thumping against my door. I moved over to it quickly, brows furrowing. When I opened it, I had to catch Lucanis. He was struggling to stand, but when he spoke, it was Spite coming through his teeth.

“The idiot is still bleeding. Help him.”

“Walk with me,” I supported him with his arm over my shoulders, and I led him to my chaise lounge. When he sat, the purple glow from Lucanis’s eyes was gone, and he slumped, unconscious. “Fenedhis.”

I could see the blood seeping through the bandage on his leg, staining his loungewear dark red.

“Gods dammit, Lucanis,” I grumbled. I looked up at his unconscious form, regretting what I was about to do before I could even do it. I reached for the buttons on his pants, undoing them and pulling them down to his knees, keeping my eyes on the bandaged wound.

My fingers fumbled with the knot before finally getting it undone, unraveling it, lifting his boot onto my knee to pull the bandage from under his leg. When I got to the wound, I looked at it with furrowed brows. It looked like there was a piece of jagged rock stuck in there, which would explain why it didn’t clot properly.

I sighed, hovering my hand over the wound and pulling the piece of shrapnel with my magic. Lucanis winced. “Sorry. I’m sorry,” I whispered, putting just a bit more power until it flew up and smacked my palm. I set it with the bandages next to him. “Nasty little thing.”

Carefully, I held my hand over the wound again, pushing warmth into it and watching it seal closed beneath my magic. When it was healed, I stood, moving to my wardrobe for a fresh cloth to clean the blood up on his leg.

Before I came back around, I heard a startled grunt from Lucanis. His chest seized, staring at the wall of the aquarium across from him. I internally panicked, realizing he spent a year in the bottom of the ocean tortured.

I moved around the chaise with the cloth, putting myself into his direct line of sight. He looked up at me with wide brown eyes. “Rook?”

Slowly, he loosed a breath, looking around. “Hey, it’s alright. We’re in my room. Spite brought you here because of your wound.” I knelt down in front of him again, starting to mop up his blood.

“Of course he did,” he grumbled, looking down at his lap. He cleared his throat. “Isn’t it customary to ask before removing a man’s clothes?”

I rolled my eyes, hitting him with the cloth. “Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better. Well enough to clean yourself.” I stood, throwing the cloth at him.

He caught my wrist as I turned away. “Vuelve mi pequeña polilla, I meant nothing by it.”

My cheeks warmed as he crooned in his native language, and I was pulled back to my knees in front of him, resuming to clean his wound. “You had quite a nasty cut. This was keeping it from closing.” I picked up the piece of jagged rock. 

“Mierda,” he cursed, taking it to inspect it. “I wondered.”

“You would be lost without me,” I teased, wiping my hands on the cloth.

“You have no idea,” he muttered.

“I hope the next time we’re like this it’s not because you’re bleeding out,” I grinned, standing and collecting the dirty bandages to dispose of them. I saw Lucanis’s cheeks flush, and I smiled to myself as I left the room to avoid embarrassing him further. I was sure the last thing he wanted was for me to see him indecent and turned on.

❈❈❈

Lucanis pinched the bridge of his nose, looking up at the dancing reflections of water on the ceiling. It was bad enough that he had awoken half naked in a place of his nightmares. But then a complete one-eighty occurred, and he had the woman of his dreams kneeling in front of him with those mismatched eyes and warm smile.

Spite had brought him here, of course he had. And Kalais had just taken care of him like it didn’t take a second thought. And the things she said, mierda, he wished she would stop trailing him like a moth to a flame. It was dangerous, and it wouldn’t end well for either of them. Spite was Lucanis’s only future. To hope for anything else was futile.

Of course that didn’t stop all blood from running southward when she hinted at something more. Something unattainable, something beyond his imagination. Something impossible, and yet all too good for him anyway.

“She. Wants. You!” Spite growled in his ear. “We want. To taste her!” 

“Enough, Spite,” Lucanis said, standing and buttoning his pants. He didn’t look at the demon. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“We. Want. Rook! Why?” he questioned.

Lucanis sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know why you want Rook. Possibly because she’s the only one who’s kind to you, though I can’t figure out why,” he muttered.

“No! You want her,” he said. “Her touch. Soft. Her hair silk. Her breath warm! Her lips. What do they taste like?”

“Enough!” He snapped. “She is not ours to have.”

❈❈❈

We all met around the fire in the dining hall. I filled everyone in on what Solas had said.

“So this elven god thinks we need a dragon hunter and a Fade expert?” Lucanis asked.

“He’s right about the dragon hunter, at least,” Harding said. “The Shadow Dragons did all the could. The dragon was just too much.” I frowned, staring into the fire. “The moment the dust settled? The Venatori rushed in. Guess they knew it was coming.”

My chest suddenly felt tight again.

“Neve’s staying for now. She said she’ll be back soon, but… At least you took care of yours,” Harding said to me.

“We hurt it, but didn’t kill it. The dragon flew off before we could put it down,” I said.

“Treviso could have used a dragon hunter. That much is true,” Lucanis said.

“Don’t remind me. Fewer people injured, and we wouldn’t have to worry about it coming back.” My brow furrowed, and I crossed my arms over my stomach.

“We shouldn’t forget about Minrathous, either. We need to do what we can to help. Though there’s no telling how long Neve will be helping the Shadow Dragons…” Lucanis added.

“Hey, let’s not get stuck in our regrets, all right?” Varric came hobbling over.

“Hang on a minute,” Davrin interrupted. “Not only have you retained the services of a demon assassin, you’re also taking advice from the elven god who attempted to tear down the Veil.”

“Spite is my problem,” Lucanis said defensively.

“That’s what they always say,” Davrin retorted. “Rook, Lucanis is one thing, but do you really trust this Solas?” He asked.

“Trust is such a strong word, you know?”

“So you don’t trust him.”

“Ehhh.”

“All right then.”

Harding said she would ask around about Dragon Hunters, and Bellara said she would get a message through to a Fade expert immediately.

“See, Rook? Nothing to worry about,” Varric said.

“All right. We all know what to do. Let’s get going,” I said to dismiss them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list

Have a good day/night!

Tagged: @colombia-chan @bleummie

[outrunningthedark]

Sorry to anyone who love him, but I swear my problem with Oliver started like the only time he actually talked about Lou and how he was having fun on Twitter, because he also said something among the line of "previous li felt like they weren't treat right" (I don't remember the exact quote) and I was like ??? They didn't have to feel anything, they just were aware of all the horrible things b*ddies were saying about them if not directly to them

📢 LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

Nobody really started looking at Oliver funny until he said this in reference to a question about how Lou was handling the inevitable negativity:

“The Buddie fans… It’s been difficult for some actresses on the show before. I know that they’ve felt, sometimes, unfairly treated. Whether or not it was unfair, I don’t speak to that, but I do know it was something they had difficulty with.”

There he was. Admitting the relentless harassment made it hard for the actresses on the show.

And as if realizing he knew they were struggling and didn’t speak up wasn’t awkward enough, Oliver decided he shouldn’t even be the one to say they didn’t deserve it!

My guy, Megan might have gotten in a Twitter fight, but it’s because she was getting attacked the second she stepped foot on that set in season four.

And Arielle? Annelise? What did they do, exactly? Accept a job opportunity? Follow a script?

(And let me just remind people you can feel however you want to feel about BuckLucy while ALSO acknowledging that the show gave Arielle a false sense of security from the start by assuming the kissing scene would be nbd. Had her doing interviews as if Lucy was gonna be the next main ffs.)

Mind you, the person he gave that quote to admitted in the interview they’re a Buddie shipper, so here we have more evidence that Oliver says things he thinks won’t make the majority of his fan base angry with him. Because he can’t handle criticism. Which he just proved again by only opening his mouth after fans called him out on his attitude towards the breakup. 😑

Literally no one cares if Oliver actually likes Lou! They care that he’s a grown ass man who does things that make his fan base feel validated/vindicated because he doesn’t want to be the one they’re upset with!

[slippinninque]

Can we get another Chester from “They Cloned Tyrone” story plzzzzzz 🥹🙏🏾🥹🙏🏾🥹🙏🏾🥹

😒Busted😬

Chester x blackfemreader

In which Chester has a secret....

warnings: cursing, fluff, bit of jealousy, misunderstandings, tiny mentions of kink, very self indulgent fic, bit of a pick up from Bear Hug

Chester was hiding something from you. A week and a few days more, he hasn't been himself.

Barely home when you are, nearly runs to his room when he sees you unexpectedly, and doesn't speak. Not the normal silence that clung to him so naturally. There was nothing inviting your attention or banter--he felt too twitchy to play with.

You were his roommate which he, more than occasionally, liked to get down and sexy with. You'd like to think that there was a mutual acknowledgement of the shadow of something-more that loomed over your relationship.

This shadow that has grown into a terrible twist in your gut. A nagging worm bored into your brain after one too many vents to ReRe at the hair shop was overheard by a regular.

"I'm telling you, girl, I've been around and I know what it means for a man to be all shifty like that."

"That so, Ms. Cheryl?"

"Mhm! Ain't saying nothing against you, 'course, but a man gonna want more than chicken every night...know what I'm saying?"

You knew what she was saying. You've heard it before you retired, of course. All from clients who were too ashamed to be honest with themselves, those who wanted their cake and to eat it too.

You tired to shake it off. You ignored the empty spots where Chester would normally be. You went to work more hour and kept your mouth shut while at it. Despite the baiting gossiping floating in between press and curls, you said nothing more about your business.

What was a relationship without some secrets, anyway?

Chester has only helped you and never hurt you--what if it was something too embarrassing for him to talk about? What if he was getting to know other people? It was the longest you've gone without touching each other and you couldn't just ignore that.

The facts of it was that Chester was a grown ass man and the two of you haven't discussed exclusivity. This arrangement was more than nice but perhaps Chester was growing bored of it?

If he wanted to get bound and gagged by someone else, that was his business. You were going to let it go.

Instead, you came home early from work just to see what you would find. It felt dirty to sneak into your own house but it felt even worse to see the startled expression on Chester's face on the way out from the kitchen.

"Why are you here?"

"Why are you here?"

The two of you stood across from each other with the last week of tension weaving between you. Chester rolled his neck along his shoulders, still silent.

"Fine, then."

With a vicious hum, you turned towards the linen closet and jerked open the door. There was no way someone could hide in there Chester was fucking Ant-Man of all people. Chester stepped in an immediate hover and you turned to snap at him.

A sound came from the back where your bedrooms were cut you off. You bolted towards it with building fire in your chest. Was Chester doing the binding and gagging?

Chester choked before falling right behind you. Still too late, he could only watch as you doubled back to damn near kick in the bathroom door when the sound came again, louder.

"...Oh..."

Your arms were splayed to block in your would-be replacement but Chester could still see over you and down at the puppies snuffling around in a pile of linen.

Instantly melting to the floor, you took in the three little angels. Pitbull puppies, you'd know those future big-heads anywhere.

They were precious and fussy--it must have been feeding time from the way they were looking to bust out of their cozy crib at the sound of your commotion.

"Chester?"

He came into the bathroom, dragging himself down into a crouch as if waiting for sentencing. You patted the ground until he sat on his behind on the other side of the box.

"So, this is what had you all twitchy."

"The shelter needed time," Chester stared at the puppy pile, "They said they would call but..."

That would explain a lot. Keeping three mouths fed in between whatever the fuck Chester did--

"You've been taking good care of them. They're so chunky and so stinkin' cuute!"

Chester shrugged as if it were no big deal but you noticed the pleased slant to his mouth as he looked down at the puppies. There was pride on his face as he put a hand on the box's edge as if he meant to rock them.

How much this must have took for him to do. Chester didn't strike you as a type to care much for animals, let alone fostering them--but he surprised you once again.

You felt terrible. Terrible for doubting him and terrible for letting your insecurities threaten this little piece of happy you've found. You were lucky that the man you were sharing a bed with was only hiding strays in the house.

"I want to apologize to you, Bear. "

"Hm?"

"I let some broad get into my head but that's on me," you shook your head at the situation your jealousy caused, "I ended up thinking that you were looking to get another...roommate. I'm sorry for giving you the attitude, lately. "

Chester made a noise that could only be described as, Ew! You snorted, amazed at how such a little sound could give you so much relief.

"No. I'm not searching." Chester's voice was firm, his brows coming together and his expression suddenly had you feeling bared. You turned your eyes to the snuffling angels but Chester's hand appeared palm up before you.

With your hand in his, the last dregs of your anxiety faded away and you let your self shuffle about so you were side by side. Chester's palm was warm and calloused, one of the two hands that's been responsible for three little lives while you were chewing denim in between your insecurities.

"I'm sorry to make you feel as if you had to hide this from me." You apologized again, "This is your house too. If you wanted to bring a flippin' llama in here--you could."

"I did not intend for this to go this far and I...did mean to tell you. I heard them when it was dark and I..."

Chester stopped. You realized it was more so a Chester Thing rather than a You Thing. There were some things that he was working through, something Chester didn't have to say out loud for you to understand.

It was normal for someone to bring home a box of kittens or puppies, who could ignore their cries in the night? You were beginning to think that it wasn't normal for someone like Chester. He seemed...ashamed by it.

You broke the silence to ask lightly, "Did you have any names for them?"

"Small," he gestured towards the cinnamon-toasted puppy smooshed between the other two, "Medium," the snuffling blue-grey puppy, "and, Large." The obvious biggest of the trio, jet black and the loudest with their displeasure of being kept waiting.

Good Lord. You turned away but couldn't hold in your laugh. Chester huffed and tugged you closer to fall into him and you giggled now as he narrowed his eyes at you.

"Well, what names would be best?"

"Oh, baby, I don't know. I'm just giving you shit."

Chester sucked his teeth and made to scoot away from you, but you only followed after throwing an arm around his neck.

"Okay! Okayokayokay--we can come up with something good between the two of us! Let's think..."

The next two hours consisted of you and Chester relocating the puppies to your room while you ping-ponged potential names with good ol' Merriam-Webster. You watched as Chester tenderly cleaned and fed the puppies before redressing their box, adding a plushie at your insistence.

Once their bellies were full--the puppies cuddled together in a corner with their new fox friend and settled down. The attention span you would have spent on putting together dinner was spent on a quick order for pizza order.

"Okay, one more time for good luck," You said as you Chester came back from getting your food from the deliveryman,

"We have Tiny, Minnie, and Stout. Formally known as 'small', 'medium', and 'large'. How'd we feel? Is that fitting for these girls?"

"Feels good." Chester said after a beat of though, "Better than...before."

"Don't beat yourself up, naming babies is hard, man."

Chester rewarded you with a rare smile, wide enough to show "Very much worth it, though."

The two of you ate pizza from the box on the floor, when you came back from getting the drinks--Chester turned on the TV. When you sat beside him and leaned onto his shoulder, his arm went around your waist. He was initiating a lot of contact which was frisky for Chester.

You looked up at Chester to see him already staring at you with warm, affectionate eyes. Heart flipped, you shoved your pizza into your mouth. It didn't stop you from smiling though.

"You are my roommate." Chester leaned in to be sure he was heard, "No one else would ever suffice."

"Thank you, Bear." The reassurance was sudden but it wiped away a few smudges from your heart. The way he said 'roommate' replaced any seeds of doubt in your mind with flower buds, this event forever a reminder that you could trust Chester.

Hearing Chester say that no one could replace you...that was priceless, though.

You cleared your throat and looked to the box, "Say...they're pretty young to be going so soon. Should we hold onto them for a while? Just until they're a bit older, you think?"

"Agreed." Chester said readily, "When it's time for their shots, you will have to come along. They'll cry."

"Agreed." You nodded, "I'll step up and help out with these babies. No more secret Baby Daddy-ing without me, okay?"

Chester nodded slowly but once again, sure. Agreed.

You grinned and pulled one of the throw blankets from your bed to drag over your laps, Chester reached for another slice with his eyes were on the puppies when one stirred.

It's never felt so good to be so wrong. You felt like you were glowing as you plotted how to truly apologize to Chester.

---------

✨ending notes✨: thank you to the anon who submitted the ask about Chester! I love him so, I swear I do! 🤣 I'm sorry it took so long, I hope you enjoyed a bit of fluff! This was very self indulgent and I will be bringing back these puppies lmao! 😌tell me what you think and as always, thank you so much for reading!!! 💜✨💕💖✨

💕tag list:💕 @megamindsecretlair @sageispunk @harmshake @misskiki90 @thadelightfulone

@ms-angiealsina @mcondance

[startwithbrooklyn]

The narrative is much more valuable for me than the ending

say it louder for the people in the back 🙌🏻 thank you so much for putting this feeling into words!

Something impossibly precious has been irrevocably lost. We'll probably get a cottage, a kiss, a happy ending, but we'll never get the beautiful path they were supposed to walk together before they got to the end...