#saw your message opened tumblr opened the ask READ IT VERY QUICKLY ALMOST THREW MY PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM.
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hi kind of random but i was just randomly happy today? and i dont know i just love you so much. i was thinking about shooting stars and how hot they would be if we held them and pages with the corners torn off because they were used to write little notes to your friends and ice cream that starts melting and gets all over your hands and singing out loud in public spaces and sunrises and sunsets and stray cats and graffiti and friendship bands and laughing so hard your cheeks hurt and just…being happy
i wish i could bottle up this feeling i wish i could give you this happiness i wish i could take a piece of the blue,blue,blue sky and mail it to you i wish we could go to grocery stores together i wish i could fall down and laugh at myself with you i wish i could take a star from the sky, just one, and give half of it to you.
i am so happy. you make me so happy. i love you.
~shy anon
hello i missed you!!!! this is so much like 2020 in the best way possible. i am so so glad you are happy like this you're making me incredibly happy too!!
:')))) this is all vibes,, again. wait i will explain my full reaction (it was!!! a reaction!!) in the tags i need you to know.
it's sunny today and warm!!! and there are clowds but i can see the sky and this ask is just SUMMER :D and the parts of 2020 when nothing mattered and You!!!! and we are sitting on your balcony with the plants and the stupid pigeons because this is how it's always meant to be :')
one day we will do EVERYTHING we can spend all day together and just. live life. go to grocery stores and the beach and the library and get slushies and ice cream and it wouldn't matter what we do anyway because it'll be US!!! we can talk and wander around until we're totally lost because that isn't what matters at all. and we can watch the same stars right next to each other, not just from thousands of miles away.
you make ME so happy all the time i love your asks so so SO much. if i ever discover anything ever i am totally naming it after you. i hope it's a star,,, that would just be Perfect. i love you too <333
#okay right obviously feelings are strange and incomprehensible but occasionally i do Physically feel emotions!!!#and that does make them easier to interpret. it is also A Lot for a few seconds <3#could be sad but also happiness! like when a fanfic reaches that perfect moment and you almost SCREAM because !!!!! >:D#anyway. this made me absolutely DIE (AFFECTIONATE) i will tell you what happened.#saw your message opened tumblr opened the ask READ IT VERY QUICKLY ALMOST THREW MY PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM.#because emotions. you see. and i love everything you write so incredibly much. AND i love you obviously so very much!!!!!! <6669420#opened my phone again grinning very stupidly read it in depth. almost threw my phone again silently screamed (HAPPY DYING!!!) it's so GOOD#and such VIBES just like all of your amazing wonderful asks!!!!!#read it Again totally not crying a tiny bit and jumped around the room. so UH. consider the happiness successfully transmitted???? i am SO.#i do NOT know why. just. You :) <333 are the best and the coolest and i love you and all the poetic words you write ever so much#okay this got LONG but it needed to be. i had things to say too because you are simply the best this has made me so happy thank you!!!!!!!!#just. remembering how it first was back in lockdown and how we were always like this and it will NEVER go away!!!!#things WILL always get better actually they have to in the end. one day <333#ask#shy anon#agh. Feelings :'DDD
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close friends | t. holland
pairing: tom holland x fem!reader word count: 3.1k warnings: some language, some angst if u squint. otherwise it's just fluff and tom being tom. didn't proofread this. a/n: so tumblr decided to be a little bitch and deleted this t w i c e. so i had to write this t h r e e times. this came up in my head after i got like three notifications that tom posted something on his ig story, and then it turned out he deleted them. as always, english isn't my first language so i'm sorry if this gets confusing bye. also, i was listening to cardigan by taylor swift as i wrote this.
my masterlist
so we all know tom sucks at instagram. that's a surprise to literally no one. no matter how many times you tried to teach him he still doesn't get it, and it was only a matter of time before he finally posted something he shouldn't have.
it was just one of those days, you missed him like hell. he was away filming the third spiderman, and you had to stay behind because of work.
naturally, you relied on face time and texts to survive and fill the void he left behind. you loved talking to him, listening as he rambled on and on about his adventures on set. a love-struck look on your face as you tried your hardest to stay awake despite the urge to close your eyes.
eventually, sleep took over you, and you drifted off with the sound of his voice lulling you to sleep. he stopped talking abruptly when he didn't hear your soft chuckling in reply to the story he was telling.
instead, he saw your sleeping figure, long steady breaths moving your chest up and down. and he cursed himself for making you stay up so late for him. he took one last look at you, taking a screenshot of your sleeping form.
he quickly hung up the video call and opened instagram instead, uploading the screenshot to his story,
'missing my favorite girl, thank you so much for everything you do for me. x @yourusername'
the next morning you woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. at first, thought someone had died as one notification after another filled your screen. most of them came from instagram, so you opened that app first.
thousands upon thousands of mentions, tags and new followers. you frowned, and suddenly a text from your friend popped up at the top of your screen.
'omg just saw his story. so happy for u both'
who's story? what was going on?
you refreshed your timeline, and tom's icon appeared, a colorful circle around it. an odd feeling sank in your stomach. you tapped his icon and suddenly your screen was full of... you.
a picture of you, sleeping. tom's smiling form in a small rectangle on the bottom right corner.
oh god. you read the words he wrote, over and over again. your heart pounding in your chest, and a sudden wave of fear ran through your body. but then you read his words once more, and all you could feel was love. pure, unconditional affection.
sure, your families and closest friends knew about you, but you hadn't talked about making your relationship public yet, but there was nothing you could do now.
you sighed, leaning back on your pillows. a small chuckle left your throat.
you grabbed your phone once again, quickly facetiming tom. you knew he had an early call today, and you hoped you could catch him while he was still in his hotel.
it ran once, twice, and then you saw him, hair all over the place, bare chest. hands rubbing sleep off of his face.
"mornin', darling." he said, his raspy morning voice making you smile.
"hi, baby. did i wake you?" you asked, sitting up and crossing your legs.
"yeah but it's fine, princess. i did keep you up last night so it's only fair."
"i'm sorry about falling asleep on you, that was a really nice picture you took last night," you lifted one eyebrow, and watched as he smiled at you sheepishly.
"i thought you looked really pretty, you always look pretty," he said, grabbing the water bottle on his nightstand and taking a swing.
"thanks, i hope the whole world thinks so, too," you declared. leaning your chin on your fist, watching him expectantly.
he did not react like you had expected him to.
his breath hitched as he sipped his water, and suddenly all you could see was the cream-colored ceiling, as you heard him spitting out and coughing.
"tom! oh, my god! are you okay?" you asked, getting on your knees and holding your phone up to your face, "tommy?" you repeated when he finally stopped coughing, you could now hear his heavy breaths.
at last, you saw his curls appear from the bottom of the screen.
"wh-what did you just say?" his voice was rough, his chest heaving.
"are you okay?" you asked again.
"ye-yeah i'm fine. babe, what did you mean by 'the whole world'? did something happen?" he asked, frowning. you echoed his expression, watching him for a second.
“you posted a picture to your story,” you repeated, and he nodded.
“yeah, i posted it to my close friends, i-” he stopped mid-sentence, eyes growing comically wide. “oh shit, did i-” he caught himself off as he threw the phone to one side, you heard him fumbling around for his laptop and you snorted. “shit, baby, don’t tell me i posted it… fuck!” you couldn’t keep it in any longer, you broke out laughing.
“of course this is how the world finds out about us!” you continued giggling until your stomach hurt.
“fuck, princess i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to, i swear i- why are you laughing!?”
“tommy, tommy! it’s okay, baby, don’t worry. i’m not mad,” you stopped once you noticed his pouting. “it’s fine, my love, i don’t mind. sure it’s unexpected, and a little sudden but i wouldn’t have it any other way. i knew what i was getting into when we started dating,” you told him honestly, wishing you were there to give him a hug and kiss him all over.
“darling, i’m really, really sorry. i swear i thought i tapped the green button like you told me to” he continued his sulking, nervous eyes glancing back and forth from his laptop screen to you.
“i know, baby, i know this is not your forte, and i really appreciate the sweet gesture, honestly. i love you so much,” you told him as you bit your lip. folding your legs to your chest, wrapping one around them.
“god, i love you. i swear i’ll make it up to you,” he ran his hand through his hair, giving you a quick peek of his bare chest.
“i’ll hold you to it,” you chuckled, you glanced to the clock on your nightstand, sighing when you saw the time. “i’ve gotta go,” you said as you stood up and stretched. a wicked idea ran through you head. “i’ve got like five meetings today, so i’ll probably be busy most of the day. just in case i don’t reply or something,” you made up you lie quickly. grabbing your laptop and opening a new tab.
“oh, okay. i’ll be on set until like 1 am, so we’ll talk tomorrow?” he asked, eyes bright. you nodded, biting your lip.
“definitely. i love you,” you blew him a kiss. he smiled, and you felt your heart swelling.
“i love you, too. good luck today!” he said as you reluctantly hung up the call.
you immediately got to work, calling your assistant and telling her you were taking a few personal weeks, and to email you in case of emergencies. next, you texted harry, asking him to call you once tom was busy on set.
you waited for the page to load, and once you had bought your one-way ticket to atlanta you hurriedly threw some pre-planned outfits into two suitcases, just in case. your phone rang and harry’s face popped up on your screen. you quickly answered the call, and let him know of your out-of-the-blue plan. he agreed to meet you at the airport and drive you to set. and because of your recent and sudden rise to fame, he suggested you wear all black and a cap. you followed his advice, throwing on some sunglasses as well, as you had seen tom do many times before.
once you reached the airport and checked-in, you bought some coffee and breakfast, as well as some food for the flight. you opened instagram, seeing all the messages and comments. you had seen how the fans reacted when their favorite celebrities announced a relationship, and you knew to expect the meanest comments, and even death threats. for your own sake and peace of mind, you allowed yourself to scroll until you read three of those, and closed the app.
once the plane took off, you tried to catch some sleep, preparing for the inevitable jet lag, but your mind kept buzzing from one scenario to another. so you took out your book and tried to read some chapters, putting in your earbuds, music playing quietly.
when you finally, finally landed, you stretched your legs and grabbed your bags, putting on the cap and sunglasses again, you spotted a familiar head of wild curls. you quickly approached harry.
“what happened to all black and a cap to go unnoticed?” you asked as he took one of your bags in his hands.
“think about it, two kids wearing black, a cap and sunglasses? people would think we’re up to no good.” he gave you a tight hug, you’d missed him almost as much as you’d missed tom.
he caught you up on everything he and tom had been doing these past months, you shifted in your seat in excitement, the sleep that was slowly taking over you on the plane had now disappeared from your body.
in what was probably a 15 -but to you felt like five- minute drive, you got to the hotel to leave your bags and take a quick shower. harry left you alone in tom’s room, making his way to his own room next door. he said he’d order something for you to eat whilst you got ready to see tom.
you took the quickest shower ever known to humankind, and when you walked out of the bathroom after using tom’s shampoo and conditioner, -you’d missed his smell all over you. the few forgotten hoodies and shirts that were once drenched in the smell of his soap and cologne, were now very faint.- you wrapped a bathrobe around your body, rummaging through tom’s clothes until you found one of his shirts.
you pulled it close to your face, sighing at the familiar scent you’d missed so much. you got dressed quickly, grabbing your now fully-charged phone and the key to tom’s room that harry had left on a coffee table. you knocked on harry’s door and he let you in.
“i just texted tom, he says they’ve got like three hours left.” you sat next to him on the couch, the table in front of you filled with food waiting to be devoured.
“my poor baby, they overwork him,” you pouted, reaching for one of the plates.
“it was his idea, said he’ll do anything that helps finish filming sooner.” you stopped chewing your food.
“wait, really?” you asked in disbelief, you knew tom loved his job, and you found it odd that he wanted to cut his time on set short.
“yeah, it’s been rough for him. not having you around, i mean, after he spent months with you. he’s been pretty distracted lately. messing up lines, he’s been waking up late and missing early calls...” your heart sank at the words. you ate the rest of your food with a knot in your stomach, cursing yourself for not getting there sooner. soon enough, you were back in the car, your leg bouncing up and down. you fell asleep on your way to set, waking up when harry parked the car and nudged your shoulder.
you stepped out carefully, your head turning back every few steps you took, in fear that tom might catch you. once you reached the stage where tom was filming, you flashed the visitor badge harry had given you to the guard and he let you both in. you walked in as you leaned down, your forehead against harry’s back, shielding you from the curious stares. harry told you to hide behind a giant box where they kept some lights whilst he spoke to the director.
although the box was big and tall enough to cover you completely, you crouched down, straining your ears for nearing footsteps. you heard two sets of feet approaching, your heartbeat racing.
you were met with your accomplice, a friendly-looking man behind him. you stood up as they approached you.
“this the girl?” the man asked, and harry nodded, “nice to meetcha, i’m jon.” you shook his hand, “okay, so we’ve cleared tom’s schedule for one week, we’ll need him back fully recharged and ready to work like it’s his first day on set, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, if it means he’ll work better if you’re here you can stay until we're done. i really don’t mind, i just need my guy back.” you blinked at his words, nodding slowly. “we’ve got a couple hours left tonight, i’m all up for some cheesy reunion, but it’ll have to be when we’re finished, i can barely keep him focused as it is.”
with that he left, and harry led you to tom’s trailer, where you caught some sleep while you waited. like that morning, you woke up to your phone buzzing. you reached for it, sleep leaving your body as you read the text.
‘just finished filming for the night, i’m exhausted. miss u, love you. x.’
all rational thoughts left your head, you opened the door to tom’s trailer and sprinted out of there until you reached the set. your eyes finally, finally met his figure, and tears filled your eyes.
your legs moved on their own accord, you mumbled apologies as you crashed into people, but you didn’t care. tom had his back to you, and even though he wasn’t wearing the spiderman costume, you’d recognize that ass anywhere.
“tom!” you called out, stopping a few feet away from him. you saw him whipping his head around, eyes scanning the sea of people. you made your way up to him, “tommy!” you repeated, and he finally turned around.
his mouth wide opened in disbelief, arms twitching, feet running towards you as you did the same. you crashed into each other, your legs wrapping around him, arms around his neck, fingers curling on his soft hair. his hands running all over your back, your hair. pulling you as close as humanly possible.
whispers of ‘i love you’, ‘god, i missed you’, ‘never leave me again’, and ‘i promise’ were exchanged. you tightened your hold on his hair, pulling back to look at him.
“hi,” you whispered, your nose brushing his.
“hey,” he replied, burying his face on your neck again, pressing small kisses anywhere he could reach. his hands settled on the back of your thighs as he spun you two. you giggled, sniffling as a few tears escaped your eyes.
you could not care less about the people around you, all you could think about was the boy wrapped all over you, your favorite boy. tom led you back to his trailer, where you finally untangled yourself from him. he settled you down and you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him close to you again.
you had been starved of his touch for so long, there was no way you were letting him go anytime soon.
after many kisses, touches, tears, promises and more kisses, you left for the hotel. harry had already left, getting a ride from another cast member to leave you two alone. at that moment you swore you’d make him godfather of your firstborn child.
as you waited for tom to step out of the shower -you would’ve joined him, but three showers in a day seemed kind of excessive-, you laid down on the bed, throwing the covers over your body, tom's scent engulfing you. you breathed in happily. you tapped on your phone, replying to some work emails when you received a text from harry.
‘i believe the ball is in your court. you’re welcome.’
next, you received a picture of you and tom. harry must’ve taken the picture when you and tom were too lost in each other to even notice anyone around you. in the picture, your legs are around tom, bodies pressed closed together, your noses touching as you stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. it was a beautiful picture. and the black and white filter harry had applied to it made it seem like one of those old pictures of wives reuniting with their spouses after the war.
you smiled, heart swelling with emotion as you contemplated your options. you hummed quietly, tapping the instagram logo and waiting for the app to load.
you quickly uploaded the picture harry sent you tagging both him and tom and adding a quick caption before you shut down your phone. you were drifting off to sleep when you felt familiar arms around you.
you leaned into tom’s touch, your back resting against his chest, legs tangling with his as he interlocked his fingers with your own.
“thank you so much for being here, my love. i love you,” tom whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“i’ll be here whenever you need me. i’ll always come back to you.” you turned around, facing him. you kissed the corner of his lips, and he cupped your cheek, his lips meeting yours in a slow kiss, filled with emotion. your fingers played with his fingers as you moved to straddle his waist. “i love you,” you broke the kiss reluctantly. as much as you both wanted to make love that night, you’d made it your top priority that tom took his time off to rest as much as he could, and that included that first night.
you gave him one last kiss, going back to your previous position. the familiar and comfortable weight of his arms around you, the feeling of his lips on your neck, his chest rising and falling against your back, you couldn’t ask for anything better.
the peaceful environment you had created suddenly burst like a bubble as tom’s phone pinged over and over again. you heard him grunting, arms reluctantly leaving you.
tom chuckled, putting his phone on do-not-disturb and throwing it somewhere on the bed.
“you’re perfect for me, my favorite girl.” you smiled, leaning into his touch as he kissed you all over. sleep quickly taking over both of you.
tom swore his heart stopped when he’d seen the picture you posted. you’d never looked more beautiful than when you were staring up at him, your bottom lip between your teeth. the words you wrote as a caption were the last thing on his brain as he finally succumbed to sleep.
‘i said, “i bet you can’t keep this a secret for five months.” he said, “darling, i won’t make it past three.” @ tomholland2013 it’s been 10 months, who won?’
edit: i just saw henry cavill's ig post and omg what is my life. pls respect celebrities' privacy and relationships.
#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland fluff#tom holland smut#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland x y/n#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker fluff#peter parker smut#peter parker fic#peter parker fanfic#tom holland fic#tom holland fanfic#marvel#mcu#avengers imagine
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[✩] collegeau!anonymous admirer. {moniwa kaname x reader}
Genre: Fluff
Categories: F/M
Relationships: Moniwa Kaname/Reader
Word count: 1,412
a/n: hello dropping another oldie while i work on request, should b a student genya x reader that i got from ao3 but just a reminder that i don't do underage nsfw or anything nsfw or sexy themed cuz that's extremely weird, but if you wanna drop a request in my inbox please b sure to read my faq thanx
Every morning you'd wake up and check your tumblr to have a little message in your inbox from the seemingly same anon with a cute pick-up line. At first you thought that maybe you had reblogged something along the lines of "fill my ask", but it started to become a routine. It was never anything raunchy or lewd, just cheesy, cute one-liners that'd make you smile to yourself. Though, you had really appreciate whoever was sending them to you, you were starting to get really curious. Who could they be? Someone thousands of miles away or just around your area? It was hard to decide. You sighed as you shut down your laptop and slid it under your bed. You really shouldn't have been on your laptop at such a late hour. Finals week started tomorrow and you were beyond nervous. Sure you had studied but you always felt a bit on the edge during these five days. The thought of your anonymous admirer was the last thing on your mind before you drifted off to sleep. At least, they'll keep me positive throughout the week.
But you were wrong. It had been five days. Five days your inbox had been empty. Five days since they had last messaged you and you were actually beginning to feel a bit upset. Had something happened to them? Had you reblogged or posted something that they found offensive and possibly unfollowed you for it? You let out a groan as you spread your arms across your mattress and lay flat against your back. At least finals week was finally over and you could relax. Your phone made a small noise and you reached over your dresser to check whatever the notification you had just received. You almost jumped for joy when you had saw that you got a message on tumblr. Quickly logging on from your laptop, you clicked on your inbox, though it had a similar choice in pick-up lines it wasn't your typical anon. It was... "k-name?" You voiced aloud as your face scrunched in confusion. But then it hit you. You could finally find out who your anon admirer was! Your heart raced as you clicked on the icon and revealed the mystery person's blog. There wasn't much information, just a small quote on the bio: "Forever an Iron Wall" Hmm... That sounded a bit familiar. As you racked your brain for something that could connect to the quote, you hovered over the links and found the appearance link. Jackpot. Hurriedly, you had clicked on it but it was as if your laptop sensed your urgency and wanted to fuck with you because it was loading insanely slow. "C'mon you slow piece of shit." You muttered to yourself. A few agonizingly slow moments later, the page had finally loaded and your mouth dropped as you laid eyes on him. "Mo-moniwa Kaname?!" You exclaimed. Your face nearly burst into flames as you threw yourself back onto your bed and raked your hands through your hair, shaking your head in disbelief. No way, it just couldn't be him. You were dreaming. Getting back up again you scrolled through the many photos he had posted. Most of them with his teammates and some shots of him throwing the ball up into the air. Moniwa had been someone you admired from afar. His spirit and gentle personality is what attracted you to him, but being the shy person you were, you never approached him. You went back to your inbox and read over the pick-up line. How was heaven when you left it? And there is was again, that overwhelming feeling in the pit of your stomach whenever you saw him or were anywhere around him. How would you even begin to reply? You fingers hesitated over your keyboard before you hastily replied. Heaven is anywhere you are You slightly cringed at how cliche that sounded, but as you tried to click on the text box to undo it your mousepad had acted a bit out of sorts and pressed on the answer privately button. Oh shit. "NO!" You exclaimed, as you slapped your face and fell onto your side. What have you done?! Now you really ruined any chance you possibly had with your crush. That night it was safe to say that you didn't get much of any sleep.
- - -
Waking up you felt as if you hadn't even fallen asleep at all. Your mind was murky as you washed up, dressed and got onto your campus shuttle. As you plopped onto the seat, you let out a small groan as your threw you head back and stared up at the ceiling of the moving train. "No sleep?" The voice resonated in your ears and you took a moment before you turned to the stranger. Though your reaction was delayed, you could barely believe who was seated right next to you at that very moment. "Mo-moniwa-san?!" You near shrieked, as you stood up straight and looked at him with ample eyes. His cheeks were tinged a rosy hue as he bit back a laugh. You turned a few grouchy college student heads due to your random outburst and you sulked a bit as you felt your cheeks warm. "I-I mean, weird seeing you here..." "Really? We've been riding the same train for the past three months." He replied. Your attention now fully on him as he looked down at the floor, expression slightly saddened. Had it upset him that you never noticed him on the same train as you? Well, of course you idiot. Who wouldn't be upset? He laughed a bit as he looked out the train window and you tilted your head to the side in confusion. "I mean, I guess that makes sense since I'm probably overshadowed by much better looking guys." He sighed and rest his palm on his chin as he wandered through his thoughts. "That's ridiculous." You said a bit too quickly. His feline like eyes shifted towards you and you gulped a bit as you continued on. The morning sunlight shone on his form, giving him a celestial glow and your lips parted in as you gawked at him in pure awe. Your mouth moving with your mind. "Heaven is anywhere with you." His breath seized as he realized what you had spoken and you clamped your mouth shut. The train had come to a stop and you grabbed your belongings and rushed through the doors. Shit. Shit. Shit. Had you really just fucking said that?! A far but audible, "hey!" could be heard though you didn't stop. A hand on your shoulder had given you quite a fright as your whole body tensed. Damn, you thought you had outrun him... "Hey..." He breathed out. You turned around seeing Moniwa out of breath, body slumped over as he let his arms fall to his side. "Jeez you run quick." He straightened up with one eye squinting as he looked up at you, as the sun beat down on him. "Aren't you part of the volleyball team?" You blurted. He chuckled. "Used to be. I'm getting out of shape. But damn, this is just ridiculous..." He mumbled the last part as he felt himself starting to regain his composure. "What you said earlier though," The blood rushed to your cheeks as you felt yourself shift uncomfortably under his gaze. "Uh, u-um--you started it with the cheesy, cute pick-up lines! And then you stopped for five days and it--damn it--was surprisingly pretty hard getting through finals week without having you send a dumb one-liner. I mean, at least I had something to look forward to." His eyebrows raised and his mouth open ready to utter a word, though he's speechless. Had he really developed that affect on you? "But--but they were so terrible I thought I--" You nervously scratched your cheek. "Well, yeah, but I really liked them. It made sense though, why you stopped. Our finals meant a lot more than just a meaningless message a day. I'll just be going now." You finalized and began to walk toward your campus, but he caught your wrist in time and you turned to meet his gaze. "You don't mean that." He spoke. "I don't." You replied, not bothering to hide your smile. A small pause before you spoke up again. "Let's talk about it over coffee, yeah?"
A large grin now on his face as he nodded. "I'd like that."
#moniwa kaname#hq moniwa#haikyuu moniwa#moniwa x reader#moniwa kaname x reader#hq!! x y/n#hq!!#hq!! imagines#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu x you#haikyu x reader#haikyū!!#anime insert
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Lucas // How To: Hurt My Feelings
tumblr only allows 10 images per post so i had to use my transition images sparingly, i hope it doesn’t make the scene changes too awkward. hope you’re all doing well, sending lots of love!
Warnings: there’s nothing too serious, but there’s a mention of toxic family relations and insecurities about friendships
Masterlist
Read Part 2 Here: How To: Kill an Idea
Lucas x Reader (angst // 9.6k words); ft. stepbrother!Johnny
You were a being made up of words. You lived to think words, to write words, to read words, and to speak words. You were jack of all things debate and a master of sounding like a charming smartass. Your words were always chosen carefully, and because of this, your persuasive skills were deadly.
Lucas was a being of action. He moved as his spirit listed, and was often caught indulging in whatever sins his internal chaos prompted him that day. He built the world around him with his own two hands and lived for the sake of creating his own experiences within his own days. He hadn't an interest in the events of the world, nor the stories in it. You don't think he'd ever read a story in his life. Actually, you don't think he'd ever read.
Perhaps that was why the two of you fit together oh-so-well. He was the Yang to your Yin, the left to your right. Your relationship was a perfectly balanced chemical equation. He made a mess, and you cleaned up after him. You were a mess, and he cleaned you up.
Oh, but you can always get messier, can't you?
"Seriously, Y/N? When was the last time you ate?" Lucas folded his arms over his chest and leaned against your doorframe.
"I ate breakfast," you quipped softly, folding your legs up into your rolly chair. You'd been there for almost two days straight, but your project was finally starting to take shape.
"Oh yeah? And what did you eat?" You bit the inside of your cheek, giving him a guilty smile as you twidled your thumbs. "You can't live off of those damn health bars. Christ- Put your shoes on, we're going out."
"Wait, Yukhei, it's okay, I can just-"
"You have ten minutes to get ready before I carry you out of here on my shoulder," he warned before excusing himself to sit in your living room and wait for you.
Groaning, you moved the blanket from your lap and threw on a pair of sweats. You washed your face and brushed out your hair, and with two minutes to spare, you were slipping into your jogging shoes. "Lucas, are you ready?" you asked, stepping out of your bedroom. Oddly enough, he wasn't on that ugly black couch that he loved so much, nor was he in the kitchenette that fit so snuggly in the corner of the room. He wasn't by the window, nor with the plants on your fire escape. You stepped back to check the bathroom. Empty. "Yukhei?" you called out for him again.
Your heart jumped out of your chest at the sudden jolt of your door, followed by three sharp knocks.
"Y/N? I locked myself out..." Breathing out a steadying breath, you placed a hand over your heart. "Y/N?"
"Hang on a second, you big baby." You rolled your eyes and opened the door for him. "I thought you'd been abducted."
"Sorry babe, I had a call. But don't worry, nobody can abduct me when I carry around guns like these," he grinned, flexing his arms.
"I think I liked you better when you were missing." He scoffed. "But you have to promise me to never leave me without any answers. I'd have to hunt you down if you did."
"I'll never leave you, ever," he gleams, throwing an arm over your shoulder and guiding you out the door. You hummed, wrapping an arm around his waist and syncing your steps with his. "Besides, if I ever tried, you'd lock me in your apartment building's basement and I don't really wanna know what else is down there."
"You'd better not try to escape then," you snorted.
You weren't quite sure how you always managed to end up in such ungodly positions, but as long as you were both comfortable, you couldn't complain. However, at the moment, you were very uncomfortable, and the boy laying on top of you was getting an ear-full.
He'd simply barged into your bedroom, saw you laying on your stomach, and decided that you were the most comfortable matress around.
"Lucas, I have to pee."
"Do it, I dare you."
"Lucas, I can't breathe!"
"Then die."
"You are the-"
"Most wonderful person you ever could have hoped to even end up dating? I know. What do you want for dinner tonight? I'm thinking chicken. Thoughts?"
"I'll buy if you get off me," you groaned.
He perked up at that, finally rolling off of you and bouncing over to your closet. "We're gonna match," he said certainly, plucking a black T-shirt and skinny jeans off of their respective hangers and throwing them at you before going back to fish out the jean jacket and belt he'd bought you specifically for occasions such as these.
He rushed you along, ushering you out of your building quickly, excited to go to his favorite marketplace restaurant. Boarding the transit, he took your hand in his much larger one and turned to you to quietly ask if he could spend the night at your place to watch movies and "get frisky," earning a light slap on the wrist which only made him laugh.
You and Lucas were puzzle pieces that fit together. So for the life of you, you couldn't begin to understand why everything seemed to be falling apart.
"I just can't win against you, can I? You have too many debate trophies shoved up your ass!"
"I just-"
"Stop, Y/N. If you won't try to understand my side, we're done here."
"Lucas, I do understand, I just don't agree. And that's okay because we don't have to agree on everything."
"Yeah?" he huffed. "Well on this, we do."
"What do you want me to do? Fly home to (country) and tell my family that their daughter who managed to escape their victimized mindsets and emotional neglect and finally cut ties with them has a boyfriend who wants to meet them? I don't want you to meet them! I don't want you anywhere around them," your composure finally snapped, letting a tear roll down your cheek. You roughly wiped it away with the back of your sleeve.
"Oh, cut the shit, Y/N. You didn't want to introduce me to your 'toxic' best friend either, or your 'overly protective' brother; they turned out to be completely fucking normal. Maybe it's you that's the problem."
"You mean the beautiful best friend, Soomin, that cut me off after I wouldn't give you her number? Oh, and my brother, Johnny, who slept on my couch for a week after meeting you to make sure you weren't staying the night?"
"So I'm the one causing problems? Maybe if you were less insecure-"
"Insecure? Fine, I'll call Soomin and give her your number. And while I'm at it, I'll just ask Johnny to give my number out to all your frat brothers, since that's no big deal."
Lucas slammed his hand down on your island countertop. "Like hell you will. Look, I just want to meet your family. I'm not gonna ask them to move to Korea."
"Lucas, I'm thrilled that your family likes me so much because you're very close with them and that's important to you, but please don't make me contact my family. I don't want them in my life."
He stepped out that night without another word and remained silent for the rest of the week.
You felt like a vase that held flowers but had no water to give them; you were, on your own, too much of some things and not enough of others. Lucas's silent treatment felt like he tipped the scale by hopping off of his side and leaving you to fall.
"Y/N, listen to me," you whispered to yourself as you opened the refrigerator door. "You are a strong, independent woman and your life does not revolve around a boy." You reached for the fruit drawer and pulled out a peach. Fruit was a large part of your diet when you were sad; it was convenient because there was no meal prep. Uni-students like you didn't have time to cook anyways.
A buzzing sound from your counter pulled you from your thoughts. You wiped the peach juice off your chin with your sleeve and put the phone to your ear.
"Y/N? Do you have a minute?"
"Johnny? What's up tree-child?" You hear a soft chuckle over the line.
"Your overgrown boyfriend hasn't left his room since your little fight-"
"Johnny, you know what it was like for me back home. Your mom and my dad- you don't want to go back either, right? You know how bad it was. I shouldn't have to apologise for not wanting to go back."
Johnny sighed loudly over the line. "I'm not saying you have to apologise to him. I'm on your side, but neither of you are trying to fix the situation. So come to our frat, talk, make out, have angry make-up sex; I don't care what floats your boat, just come see him. You're the only person who I know has the ability to convince him to shower."
"See, dearest Johnny, that would mean I would have to shower. And right now, I'm not really feeling up to the task. So if that's all, then I'll be going-"
"Y/N, please? I'll make you dinner, and I'll pay for two- no, three of your textbooks next semester!"
"What do you get out of this, Seo? What bidding of yours will I be doing if I agree?"
"Can't I just reunite one of my best friends with my sister for the- yeah okay, I can't do this. There's a party next week and he's my wingman."
"Goodbye, Johnny."
You didn't know what to expect if you were to text Lucas first. Perhaps he was waiting on you to, or perhaps not, instead opting not to talk to you. However, you were a being of words, and you were desperately trying to sort through all of the Korean vocabulary that you knew in order to find the best words to give to him. You knew he deserved that, the best of you.
Y/N: Hey, can we talk?
You waited and waited, and thought yourself into hours of self torment. Was that text a mistake? Should you not have sent it? Could you have said something better?
After about an hour of stressing over the message and his lack of reply, you manage to pull yourself off of your couch, take yourself into the shower and sulk in its hot, suffocating water and steam.
And then you, naturally, went crawling back to your phone.
"Johnny, is your offer still up? Dinner and textbooks and shit?" Damn your unusually shaky voice, underused in the time you'd spent away from your significant other.
"Y/N? You sound distressed, is everything okay?"
"I don't know how to take care of myself," you admitted without an ounce of emotion in your tone, only growing your stepbrother's concerns. "You know, you're the only person that has checked in on me since our fight? I'm the one in the wrong, and everyone knows it... I need him, I need to apologise."
You hear something clatter over the line. "Now, hold on Y/N. You don't sound like you're thinking straight. I'm all for you guys patching things up, but not to get back into our good graces."
"Johnny, I'm alone. He's the only person that's ever made an effort to distract me from that."
"Hey, wait, you aren't alone. You have all of us. We're all here whenever you need us, not just him."
"John, I'm either your sister or his girlfriend. The guys in your frat don't want to be friends with me, and that's okay. But I want to hang on to what I've got so I'm coming over to fix-"
Your brother cuts you off with a groan. You don't see it, but he sets his afternoon bowl of cereal to the side and runs his hand through his hair. "Hang on a damn minute. I'll be to your apartment in ten minutes. Please, stay there."
"But John-"
"Stay there."
He cursed as soon as he hung up the call, finally noticing the stares he'd been receiving from the others in the kitchen. They'd watched you slowly unravel his composure until he was rushing to pour the rest of his precious Captain Crunch down the garbage disposal. All for his endearing concern for his stepsister.
"Who was that?" his closest friend, a broad shouldered boy by the name of Jaehyun asked.
Johnny paused, looking back at his friends. "My sister doesn't sound like she's feeling very well. She's pretty torn up about- well, you know."
"Can we help? I haven't seen Y/N in ages," Haechan commented, thinking back to the last time he'd had a chance to hang out with you. It must've been the night you joined them for a Smash competition. He remembered that you were really bad at it- or rather, not as experienced as his fraternity brothers who maybe spent a little too much time practicing.
"I honestly don't really know what's going on, so maybe it's best if I go alone."
Haechan and Jaehyun share a look. "Can you tell her to drop by to see us sometime?"
"Sure will," he agrees before slipping into his shoes and heading out the door. He was quick to get to the bus stop, knowing it'd be leaving within minutes.
When the doors to the bus opened, he took note of only one person stepping off. A pretty little girl with features that told any onlooker that she was Japanese. Her hair was lighter than his by a few shades, locks of caramel resting gently on her shoulders, the top layers collected in a little white bow and the back of her head which matched the flowy white v-neck she was dressed in; jeans and white tennis shoes paired to match.
She was a figure of beauty and grace. She offered him a small smile which would haunt him in his dreams that night. Had he not had prior engagements, he would have spent more time drinking her in as she walked down the sidewalk in the direction from which he had come. The gleam off of her pearl earrings blinded him momentarily, and suddenly he remembered that he was on a mission: a mission to get to you and remind you of your self worth.
When you cracked your door, an arm poked through, attached to a bag of goodies.
"When's the last time you ate?" Johnny asked, still not pushing his way into your space. "I brought ramen and cookie dough. I figured we could do with a night in."
You opened the door wider and lead him into the living room. It was a mess, to say the least. A nice collage of wrappers and tissues lay across the floor, the occasional soda can making things interesting. The dishes in your sink were stacked as high as they could go, and unopened letters lay strewn across your coffee table. Your home had become a perfect embodiment of how you felt.
"Y/N..." he said, looking around at the state of things.
"I know, I'll clean up later," you answered, tucking yourself back in to your spot on the couch.
"I'll help you tonight," he reassures you, setting the plastic bag on your counter and taking out two styrofoam cups filled with dry noodles.
"You didn't need to come, Johnny." The look in your eyes told him otherwise. Maybe he wasn't the best older brother in the world, but he could tell that you needed someone right now and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to do his best to help you.
"I know," he soothes. "I came for me. You were scaring me with some of the things you said and I needed to make sure that you were okay for my own sanity. Do you want beef or chicken?"
Episodes of Sword Gai play lowly in the background, a low hum of a language that neither of you understood. He helped you pick up around your house and clean up your living space. He helped you make cookies, and he ate his fair share of them. Your brother, your closest companion since you were young, sat with you all night and talked. The weight of your words though, it was heavy on his chest.
"Y/N, we've always only had each other. We practically fled a country together. You know that you and I are the first and last people on this planet, right? I took care of you back in (country) and I'll take care of you here."
You sighed, rubbing your temples. "I was your scared little sister who came chasing after you. You deserved to have your own life and live it the way that you wanted. I followed you to Korea, and once again I'm your burden."
"Y/N, you're not a burden. I'm glad you came to my University. The closer you are, the easier I can protect you."
"You shouldn't have to protect me though. You introduced me to your friends because I couldn't make any on my own. Then I met Lucas, and you helped him get into NCT and now everyone there has to deal with me-"
"Y/N, they aren't 'dealing' with you. They actually like you. Not because they have to, but because you're fun to be around."
"I don't know..." You didn't want to outright complain that you hadn't even received a text from any of the members of NCT since your fight with the Chinese boy. You didn't want to admit how badly if hurt to realize that they were his friends before they were yours. Now, not only was there a hole in your heart from your boyfriend ripping himself away, but also the growing cavity from the quiet abandonment of your friends. And now, your brother who'd done so much for you your whole life had to take care of you once again.
"What're you thinking about?" He watches your gaze flicker from the TV to his eyes and back.
"I'm willing to admit that Lucas was right-"
"I don't think he was. And neither do you. He has to respect that family is a taboo subject for some of us. Hell, he knows that I don't like it whenever he brings it up. You can work things out without taking all the blame for this, which would be outright unjust."
"I shouldn't have been so sensitive though," you respond honestly.
"You know I hate taking sides-"
"You do not, Seo," you giggle. His face visibly brightens at the sound.
"Yeah, your right, I love taking sides. I'm definitely on your side about the argument. But maybe he's thought about it too. Maybe you should let him explain how he feels about it now. And of course, I'll be sure to give you my opinions afterwards."
"I guess," you offer him an unsure smile. "I want him back in my life. I want everyone else back in my life too. I guess losing him and then losing touch with my- your friends made me realize that maybe I'm rather expendable." Your chuckle was dry, barely making it out of your throat.
In Johnny's eyes, not only Lucas, but his friends as well had been the ones lacking; yet somehow, you thought it was your own lacking that had let them slip away. How dare they hurt you like this? How dare they make you feel unworthy of them?
"I've always known," you continued, "that they were his friends- and yours. I guess I should start trying to make friends in class if we don't get this worked out, huh?"
"Maybe you should talk to them about that before you go trying to replace your friend group. But you're gonna work it out. No one's leaving you. You should see how desperate he looks right now, waiting for you to come marching into our house and demand to see him. He's got too much love in that big heart of his and now that he can't shower you in it, he looks like his purpose in life has been taken away."
Johnny was always there to take care of you, and you felt you could never repay him for that. His advice and soothing words were invaluable to you. Your brother's compassion was the most precious thing in the world to you, especially in your moments of need.
Of course you made an attempt to call Lucas before you showed up on the fraternity doorstep, but if you wanted something to change, for once you were going to have to do something yourself. You had to be able to move your own two feet without him.
Your three sharp knocks were answered by the only Thai resident in the household, a slender boy with cropped bangs and sharp features. Ten was quick to pull you inside, wrapping his arms around your torso and resting his head on your shoulder.
"Buddha has sent us an Angel; we're saved!"
"That bad, huh?"
Ten let you out of his bear hug and looked you in the eye with a look of (semi-) mock disgust. "Y/N, it's been fourteen days since he came home crying and he's showered like twice since then. Mark and I have been trying to coax him out of his room for days. Please, you've got to do something!"
"Challenge accepted," you said, smiling at the boy in front of you. He always knew how to make your day a little bit brighter.
Your heart grew heavy when you remembered that his concerns weren't for you. They were for his real friend, and you could appreciate that.
You tried to shove those thoughts down in your chest as you stepped around him and started on the long trek to your boyfriend's room.
The couch at the end of his bed was a sacred place for videogames and movie nights, a large flat screen just in front of it. His desk was often messy and usually your problem to clean. His chair was a space for studying and the occasional newcomer into his room, a comfortable space to be welcomed. The carpet was a place you liked to lay when you began to think that mattresses were just a little bit too mundane; then suddenly, you'd think the most interesting thing in the world was the orange peel texture on the white ceiling. On the nightstand was an alarm clock, a charger, and a picture of you - and in it was a bottle of lotion and a stash of jewelry you'd given him over time. Even his dresser meant something to you. You'd picked it out with him at a flea market and agreed to split the cost because it was just too beautiful to pass up. The bottom drawer was full of your clothes and he always reminded you that the dresser would one day live in a space with the two of you, together.
His room was a box of memories, and his bed held the most prized of them all. It's where you laid and let yourself be vulnerable with Lucas. It's where your lives came together, and your stories intertwined, slipping from your lips and knotting together like your limbs under the ceiling fan. Promises of the future, swears of the past, and a comforting and cozy present.
You didn't think before you opened the door; it was practically an instinct now. It wasn't necessarily a shared space, but it's a space that's always been offered to you. You'd never imagined that there would be a time when you weren't welcomed there.
It caught you off guard, the body underneath his. A petite girl with Carmel colored hair that was stuck to her damp skin. Your boyfriend moved on top of her, rocking back and forth against her body, eyes trained on hers.
You quietly shut the door and slipped back down the hallway. Doyoung, exiting his room, stopped your frantic attempt at escape from the house, taking in your wide eyes and seemingly disorganized composition.
"Y/N? What's wrong? Wh-"
"I'm okay," you swore, stepping around him. "I'm just not feeling well, I'm gonna step out for a bit."
"Oh," he says, watching you scamper down the steps. "We have medicine if you need it."
You didn't answer. Your priority was to get out of the front door as quickly and as quietly as possible, not even sparing a glance at the boys in the living room who had greeted you earlier.
You walked like a woman with a purpose, fast and in a straight line, away from the house. You didn't bother waiting on the bus, instead you walked right past the bus stop and started towards your home where you would let your composure fall.
Lucas moved one of the light colored strands of hair from Yuri's face. He was propped up on an elbow, admiring the beautiful girl in front of him. She was someone he'd know for a while, having been in his Sociology class the year prior. He'd seen her every now and again, met with her, fucked her, and left her in the morning. The girl with almost orange hair who always wore white was illusive to all but him. Wanted was the girl who always wore her graduation gift from her grandmother proudly, a pair of pearl earrings.
Normally, he wouldn't have allowed the sweet Japanese girl to stay with him after sex, cuddled to his chest, her bare skin against his. It hurt him too much to think that she wasn't the one who was supposed to be in his arms, and as a constant reminder he was always burned by the temperature of her skin. She was hot, a fire that lit in his stomach and yet left his heart cold.
Yuri blinked up at him, stirring from her soft slumber. "Is it nighttime?" she yawned out. He nodded and shushed her, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin of her cheek. He brought their lips together for a kiss that felt so wrong yet so right. Part of him didn't want to pull away and crash back down to reality, the other part of him knew that the girl needed to leave while no one was awake, lest his relationship with you be damaged.
He pulled away first, standing to dress himself in the sweats and Tee that he'd discarded some time ago. He helped Yuri sit up then dress herself. He placed a chaste kiss her forehead and lead her to his bedroom door, expecting her to find her own way out of the house. But before the door closed, he locked eyes with the last person he wanted to see him sending off his rendezvous into the night.
Johnny did not hesitate to put his hands on the door (rather loudly) to prevent it from closing.
"What's a girl doing in your room so late, Lucas?"
Lucas tried to meet Johnny's eyes, but he couldn't hold your brother's fierce gaze. "Studying?"
"Oh yeah? How'd you two get so sweaty while you were studying. You must've been cramming pretty hard." Johnny fold his arms over his chest just as the color of pink on Lucas's bed catches his attention. He stared at it for a moment before the shape registered in his mind. "And how did leaving her thong with you help either of you read a fucking textbook?"
At this point, Johnny has a fist full of Lucas's shirt and is backing him against a wall. Lucas tries to remove Johnny's hand, but only gets shoved harder into the hard surface, pictures rattling on both sides of his head, the picture of your joint trip to the fair the year prior falls to the ground and shatters.
Taeyong comes rushing in from his room, roughly awoken by his neighbor's commotion.
"Johnny? Yukhei? It's one in the morning, what the hell is going on?"
The intense gaze between the two doesn't falter for a moment. "Yeah, Yukhei, what the hell is going on?" When he doesn't receive an answer, he lifts him off the wall and pushes him back against in with one harsh movement. "Don't ever talk to my sister again." Johnny releases his shirt and Lucas's eyes widen.
"Y/N-" Lucas breathes out, grabbing for your brother's arm and stumbling over his words. "Please don't tell Y/N."
"Ya know, Lucas, she just recently told me that she felt like no one cared about her. Her friends were yours, and while you were out of her reach, so we're they. How could you leave her with nobody?"
Taeyong gasped at that. He considered you a rather close friend and cherished the bond he had with you. He understood where you were coming from but it still hurt that you would misread his intentions as befriending a friend of a friend.
Lucas pulled harder at Johnny's arm, keeping him in place as he tried to turn away. Taeyong took this as his que to step between the two and separate them.
"Please don't tell her," Lucas tried. "Please, let me be the one to tell her. She deserves that much."
Your phone had been dead for two days and you hadn't bothered to even look for a charger. You focus your energy on your Korean history essays and devote your time to working on your computer.
Little did you know, this was sparking panic at the NCT dorms. No one, not even your brother, had been able to contact you. Finally, Johnny decided that he had to check on you (along with the ever persistent presence of his younger friend, Haechan, who demanded that he be taken to see you), taking the public transit to your apartment on the northwest border of the campus.
His knocking earned a prompt "fuck off" from your living room, so at the very least they were sure you were still alive.
"Y/N, open the damn door." You didn't even bother moving from your cozy place on the couch. "For fuck's sake- do you know how long we've all been trying to contact you. Let me fucking in or I'll break the door down."
"I'd like to see you try," you mumbled before a solid 'thud' sounded from your entrance. "John, what the fuck?"
"I said let me in. I gotta make sure you're okay so don't make this difficult."
"For the love of fuck, I'm fine, go away."
Thud.
"Let me in."
Thud.
"Okay, okay stop! You're gonna make my neighbors hate me."
You threw your door open to be greeted by, not one, but two friendly faces with murderous intentions in their eyes.
"You can't just drop off the fucking radar, you had everyone scared shitless that something had happened to you," Haechan snapped before bringing you into a warm embrace.
"I'm sorry," you sighed, wrapping your arms back around him. It felt nice to be in someone's arms again, even if it wasn't the touch you longed for. "I've just had a hard few days."
Johnny, who had already pushed his way past you, was beginning to calm himself down like a passing storm.
"What happened, Princess?" Haechan tried. You cringed and he shrugged, still holding you to his chest.
"Lucas and a girl-" Your eyes teared up and the words lodged themselves in your throat. "He's cheating on me."
Haechan's eyes widen and he presses your head to his chest rather forcefully so that he could discreetly pass Johnny a look of sheer confusion. It'd been the hot topic as the frat, but as no one had been able to contact you since they'd made the discovery themselves, he assumed no one had been able to tell you yet. "Y/N, Princess, what do you mean?" he spoke slowly, unsure of how he wanted to frame his question.
"I went to," you hiccupped, "went to see him and there," you hiccupped again, "there was a girl," and again, "underneath him." Haechan's grip tightens around you. The look he's giving Johnny now is one that would've scared armies away from battle. The look on his face was nothing in comparison to the emotion written on Johnny's own features. The storm had returned, the haze of anger clouding both his eyes and his judgements.
Johnny moved towards the door much slower than he'd come barging through it. Like a man marching off to war, he kept his eyes straight ahead and left the same way he'd came. "Both of you, stay here." The door slams shut behind him, mimicking the sound of a gunshot.
Haechan keeps you in his embrace for a few minutes, rocking you back and forth after the tensions in his muscles began to dissipate. He shushed you until you stopped crying, urging you to get your breathing back under control.
"I'm so sorry you had to see that," the silver haired boy mumbled into your hair before sperating himself from you. "Come sit down. Let's talk about this for a minute."
"That's okay, Haechan. I appreciate it but-" you sniffle.
"Y/N, this is an important talk we're about to have, okay? Listen to me very carefully, and after we talk this out, I'm going to order food from any place in this district that you want." You shook your head but did nothing to interrupt him. "We all just found out a couple of days ago. That's part of the reason everyone has been trying to reach you. Johnny caught him, but he agreed to let Lucas tell you. But because no one has been able to get to you, those two have been raising hell at the frat. That's why it is very important that we can get in contact with you, do you understand? If we have things we really need to tell you, your phone needs to be on so we can get to you. We were all worried that something really, really bad had happened to you."
"So it's true? I'm not being dramatic? Lucas really..."
Haechan nodded, pulling you down to sit with him on the couch and tuck you under his arm. "But listen, I know it's aweful. Johnny is probably going to put Lucas in his place right now. So you and I are going to stay here for now, and talk and eat dinner, and get out everything that you're feeling right now. And soon, that boy isn't going to mean anything to you because he doesn't deserve to take up your precious time or energy. Okay? Now what do you want to eat?" He rubbed your back, patiently waiting for your answer. He would move at your pace for the rest of the night.
"Where is he?" Mark and Taeyong are quick to intercept Johnny's trail, desperately trying to avoid whatever chaos was sure to ensue this hour.
"Don't you think it's a little early to start throwing punches this evening?" Taeyong tries.
Ten enters from the kitchen, a bowl of cheap ramen in his hands, Lucas trailing behind him, rocking the college boy couture: no shirt and sweatpants. Ten had by no means forgiven him within the short span of two days, especially not when he picked plenty of the recent fights with Johnny which promised a rather annoying thrill of excitement every night, but Ten knew that in the depths of his heart he felt sympathy and compassion for Lucas. As frustrated as he was with the younger boys, he couldn't abandon him when he had so few people left on his side anymore. Who else would take care of him if not Ten?
Lucas stopped in his tracks when he saw Johnny, slowly handing off his bowl to Ten to be sat on the coffee table. There was a feral beast inside Johnny that Lucas could see right now, and he was afraid that any sudden movements would invoke a violent response.
"I thought you'd be gone longer," Lucas admits. He had avoided the living room recently, especially when he knew Johnny would be home.
"I felt suddenly compelled to come right back and have a nice long chat with you."
Lucas tensed, subconsciously preparing to be thrown into a fight at any second.
"Wait, where's Haechan?" Mark ask, noting that the younger boy did not come in with him.
"He's comforting my sister. He's doing what I should be doing. But I trust him to handle her with care. I trust him to take care of her tonight while you and I have that little chat." He eyes Lucas, reading every sign that Lucas's body is posting, watching as he takes in those words and deflates a bit.
"You guys told her?"
"Didn't have to. She walked in on you screwing another girl." The room falls silent until Ten begins to choke on his ramen. Everyone looks at him as he turns away to hide his wide-eyed expression.
"Ten?" Taeyong asks. "Do you know something?"
Ten slowly turns around to face the group. "Do you remember that night when we were sitting here when she came over, and then she went running out the door a few minutes later?"
Taeyong's face falls. "Oh my God. Is that really the last time any of us saw her?"
"Fuck, and we didn't even know she needed help."
"Doyoung said she wasn't feeling well; he tried to stop her."
"That was almost a week ago, though," Ten thinks aloud. Everyone's eyes fall on Lucas, the boy they'd momentarily forgotten. His eyes are glassy, his composure fallen. There's a beat before anyone dares to ask about the elephant in the room. "How many times did it happen?"
Lucas opens and closes his mouth like a fish. "Did she really see? She saw me with Yuri?"
"Lucas, how many times did it happen?" Johnny's shoulders are squared. He steps towards the boy but is stopped my Taeyong's firm grasp on his arm.
"A lot," he admits as the first tear makes its dash for his chin. "A lot more than I should have. A lot more than I ever wanted to." As wet as his entire face was becoming, he dare not move to wipe away the shame. "I love her. Oh my God, I love her and she'll never want to see me again."
Mark looks between his two best friends seeing nothing but desperation and fury - two ample types of passion for you. "Why'd you do it then?" His words were soft. He didn't want to stir the pot anymore, but he wanted to know.
"I don't know. I love her. Why would I do that to her?" Johnny's composure cracks but doesn't break. He doesn't take off his armor. He was still there, at his own frat, in his own living room to challenge his former mate.
"She was the reason you got into this house in the first place. If she didn't care about you, I would have never helped you get in."
"Johnny stop." Taeyong pulls back on Johnny's arm, reigning him in and telling him to stand down.
"Why? That's how she feels. She feels like she's less than you. I think it should be the other way around. She think everyone only cares about her because they care about you. I think she should realize that you wouldn't even be here without her. How do you even have the balls to cheat on her after what she's done for you?"
"I didn't want to!" Lucas defends.
"Then why did you do it?"
"I don't know! I don't know! I don't know if it was because I was bored, or if I was mad at her one day. I don't know how it started. When I started to see Yuri, it just felt like a small break but then we started to mess around more often. I don't know how it started, but I wish it never had. I never wanted Y/N to have to see that."
In one swift movement, Johnny yanked himself out of Taeyong's grasp and nailed one shot right below Lucas's eye before the other three men in the room jumped in to separate the two as much as the could.
"You wish you hadn't done it because you got caught?"
Lucas holds on to his face but managed to stand up straight. "I wish I hadn't done it because I regret hurting her. It would break my heart to see her with anyone else - I can't imagine how it must've felt for her to see that. So yes, I regret her finding out."
Johnny struggles against the restraint of his friends. "Do you regret doing it? Did you ever question yourself while you were screwing around behind her back?"
Lucas didn't answer, instead he walked away. He gather up the few shards of his dignity that he had left, and locked himself in the first story bathroom for the rest of the night.
Haechan made you put your phone on the charger. He warned you that there would be messages from just about everyone in his frat but that you didn't have to open them all immediately. He stayed up with you that night to help you with both your assignments and your heartache, sending you to bed at a decent time (before two in the morning). He sat in your living room, waiting for any news from the dorms before he went back. He ended up falling asleep on your couch.
When morning came, he was abruptly awoke from a sweet dream by the rattle of the door and three sharp knocks. Annoyed, he pushed himself up and went to check who could possibly be so irritating this early in the morning.
He cracked the door to find a not-so-hot Wong Lucas on the doorstep.
"Haechan?" Lucas asked, sniffling quietly. Haechan shut the door, ready to turn back and resume his slumber on the couch before three more knocks stopped him.
He cracked the door again. "She's sleeping, knock it off."
"Haechanie?" You ask yawning as you wonder to his side. You didn't know that he'd been there all night and came to check the door, not expecting anyone to beat you to it. "Who's at the door?"
"No one, Princess. Go back to sleep."
"Princess?" Lucas questioned, clearly uncomfortable with the younger boy calling you by a pet name.
"Lucas?" Your mind wakes up a bit when you register his voice.
"Y/N," he sighs in relief.
"Haechan," Haechan blurts before shutting the door and promptly turning to you. "Y/N, don't let him in. He's probably here to convince you to take him back and you need to remember what we talked about last night. He made you feel like a small person, don't go crawling back to him-"
"I'm not letting him in, don't worry." You wrap your blanket tighter around yourself. "Why are you still here anyways?"
"I never got the all clear to go home," he mumbled, pulling you back into your bedroom. Three sharp knocks sounded once again at your door. Neither of you moved to answer it, instead you let Haechan lay you down in your bed and tuck you into your comforter before he crawled on top of your covers and dozed back off at the foot of your bed.
Lucas left the flowers and food in front of your door, sending Haechan a text to let him know that they were there (just in case you'd already blocked his number). Pulling his jacked tighter around him, he left the building in search of something to make himself feel better after a night of high emotions.
He found himself at the coffee house down the street from your residence. As he waited on his order, he sat at a booth and pondered ways to get you to, if nothing else, accept his apology. With everything in him, he wanted you back. He wanted to forget the stupid fight, he wanted to forget the other girl - he wanted you. That wasn't fair though, and he knew it. It especially wasn't fair that while you were with him, you felt small compared to him. It wasn't fair that he made you feel like nobody cared about you more than they did him. It wasn't fair that your stepbrother had to be the one to voice your concerns for you; you had never felt comfortable telling Lucas about your deepest insecurities when he was supposed to be the one to get you past them. He was only beginning to realize that he hadn't been there for you the way that you needed him to be - the way that you had been for him.
"Johnny is it true that Y/N thinks we don't like her?" Jungwoo asks, placing himself between both Johnny and Jaehyun on the couch.
Johnny sighed. "She thinks that you guys don't like her, but that you're all too nice to say anything. She thinks that because she's my sister, you guys are forced to spend time with her."
"But I like spending time with her," the younger whines.
"I know," Johnny answers simply. "She just," he inhales through his teeth, "doesn't have a lot of super close relationships. Actually, it was really only me and..." He eyes the staircase. "Can you blame her for having trust issues, though?" he asks rhetorically, more towards himself than anybody else.
"How can we show her we care about her? Like, genuinely?" Jungwoo asks, his simple yet quick thought process spitting out one debacle after another.
"I dunno, Woo. I really don't know. Maybe try to text her more? Maybe check on her every now and again?" Johnny thinks to a moment how much of his private conversation with you he wants to share. He determines that no true friendship deals in lies. "She wanted to apologise to Lucas for the fight they had a few weeks ago. She was willing to be wrong in her principles if it meant she could have that one deep connection back. She said no one had really contacted her since they'd started fighting. She said she felt alone."
Jungwoo's eyes swelled up to the size of saucers. Had he really been so neglectful? Had they all?
"I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty. She'll never be honest about her emotions, though. She told me that if things didn't work out with Lucas, she would have to start trying to make new friends in class."
"Would she really replace us like that?"
"To her, it's not replacing something if you never really had it."
"She wouldn't even try to talk to us?"
Johnny shook his head. "That's what I'm saying. I wasn't going to tell you that, I don't want you guys to feel bad about it. But if I didn't say something, you'd never know how she felt."
Jaehyun, who'd kept his quiet so far, finally spoke up. "Well I hope she's accepting visitors. We've clearly left her to deal with her problems alone for too long."
"Let's go after breakfast," Johnny suggests, nearly being cut off by the ring of his phone. He excuses himself from the living room to answer it. "Hello? Y/N? What's up? We were just talking about you."
He doesn't see it, but you cringe a little at that. "Uh, hey, are you busy right now? Should I call you back another time?"
As off put as Johnny is by your tone, he doesn't question it. "For my adoring sister? I'm never to busy for you."
You wonder if he was genuinely not doing anything or not. "Really, we can talk later if-"
"Y/N, I'm not doing anything, what's going on?" The line is quiet for a moment. A sickening moment.
"I think I'm gonna transfer back home." Your brother feels his stomach drop. "I've been thinking about it for a while now. I just think it might be the better option for me. I don't know many people here on campus, I struggle to keep up with my Korean classes. I just think it's time I stop following you around like a lost puppy, ya know?" The line goes silent as you wait for his response. "Hello?" You wait. "John?"
"No." His answer is simple and definite.
"What do you mean 'no?'"
"I mean you're not leaving just because you're insecure. You and I both know you're doing wonderfully in your classes this semester. Why would you leave that behind? Because a boy cheated on you? Because you think no one wants to care about you? You're not leaving Korea."
"I wasn't asking. I was just letting you know." Johnny feels his heart break for you.
"On purpose! I care about you on purpose. We all care about you on purpose. Why do you keep trying to take yourself away from us?"
"You shouldn't have to care-"
"You think it's up to you if I care about you or not? That's not your decision. And it's not your decision whether or not the rest of NCT cares for you either. Why are you so hard headed?" Johnny groans loudly into the mic.
"I'm not enough of anything to be cared about."
"Shut up." He promptly hung up and grabbed his jacket.
Your tiny apartment wasn't really made to accommodate many people at once, but the five overgrown boys standing on your doorstep pushed their way into your apartment and made it work.
"Let's take a vote," is the first thing out of your stepbrother's mouth as soon as he crosses the threshold. "All in favor of Y/N transferring say 'aye.'" A silence falls over the boys. "All opposed say no."
"No," Jungwoo is the first to speak.
"No," Jaehyun is quick to follow.
"No," Ten says sternly.
"No," Taeyong adds.
"You have been unanimously voted to keep your ass in Korea and the court rules in favor of putting a bounty on you if you try to escape."
"Wait, wait, wait," you finally get out. "This isn't a democracy; your vote is irrelevant."
"Y/N, why do you want to leave so badly?" Ten asks, crossing his arms and leaning against your island.
"I have to learn to take care of myself. I can't depend on Johnny or Lucas to do that for me anymore."
"Is this really what you think is best for you?" Jaehyun asks, a tinge of guilt in his words.
"I don't know, I guess we'll find out in five weeks when the semester ends in December."
Lucas pressed his palms into his eyes, temporarily making himself see stars. It was cold, a thin layer of snow covering the ground and buildings outside. There was a blanket thrown over his shoulders but it did nothing for the morbid freeze that so deeply effected his mood.
It was midnight when he woke up. Really, he no longer had a desire to eat, and he couldn't make himself sleep anymore lest he grow physically sick. He was left to wallow in his thoughts as he stared out his window, watching the snow fall so peacefully.
"Did I do this?" He asks himself. "She's leaving because of me? Was it me who made her feel so small compared to everyone else? Was it me who made her feel so small compared to Yuri?"
He'd stopped seeing her, his fling. He came to realize that there was a hole in his heart that she could never fill. When he had you, perhaps Yuri was a fun toy to play with on the side. When you were stripped away from him and his sense of comfort was taken from him, he no longer wanted to play with her.
He tried not to contact you. He didn't deserve your time - but he wanted it.
He found himself standing outside of your apartment at one in the morning on a freezing December night. Public transport, if it even ran in this weather, had been closed for the night. There were no students wondering the campus either. He braved the elements alone.
Three sharp knocks. They weren't particularly loud. If you were asleep, he wanted you to remain asleep. But if you weren't, he needed to see you. He wanted to hold you, and kiss you, and love you; he needed to see you. You weren't his toy, you weren't his game - you were his survival, his comfort, his energy, his breath.
"Lucas? What are you wearing? It's snowing out there, are you crazy?"
"Please don't leave."
"Isn't it a little late in the night to be talking about college transfers?"
"Please don't leave me."
You'd seen Lucas cry about a lot of things. For such a physically built man, he was very emotional. He cries when he stubs his toe. He cries when he sees a dead animal on the road. He cries when he laughs to hard. He cries when he's drunk and misses you, no matter how close you might be. He cries over a plethora of movies from sad romcoms to cheesey action movies. Never have you ever seen Lucas sob. He was hysterical and unfiltered, and still in the middle of the hallway.
"Come in, Lucas. It's okay, come in." He steps inside, wiping his runny nose of his sleeve.
"Please don't leave me," he repeats. "I'll be better, I'll do better. I know you deserve so much more than me but please let me be selfish and keep you."
"You'll be better without me," you reassure.
Lucas out himself on his knees in front of you, his hand reaching out unsteadily to hold yours. "Please, Y/N. Please. I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. If I could take it all back, I would. I swear I would. I hate myself for ruining what we had."
"It's okay, Lucas." You cradled his head to your waist and shushed him, letting his arms wrap around your legs. "It's okay. I wasn't enough and that's okay. You needed something else, that's okay. I wish I would have know, sure. I wish maybe you would have told me that I wasn't enough, but I understand why you did it."
"No, no, Y/N. No, that's not right at all. You were perfect - too perfect, and I wasn't enough of a man to cherish that. I'm not a man without you. I'm a scared little boy. Y/N, please, I love you."
You shush him and run your fingers through his hair until he calms down a bit.
"Lucas?" You ask softly. He hums in response. "Did we ever break up?" You feel his entire body tighten around you as he tensed. He pressed his face harder against your abdomen and cries harder."I'm not going to end it with you," you sigh, "I can't live on my own, you know that better than anyone. I'm so tired of being alone. I need you too."
"I don't have the words to describe you. I'm trying, but I don't know how to tell you what I feel right now."
"Then don't tell me in words."
"You know, I have really hated your life decisions lately." Johnny quips from the driver's seat. "I hate that you're studying abroad for an entire semester. I detest that you got back with your ex, and I am repulsed by the fact that you're wearing sandals in December. Your decisions just suck."
"But I'm making them," you smile at him. "It's only a few months, I'll be back from Bordeaux before you know it."
"I'm glad you're going to France instead of going home. For a minute there, I thought you'd really gone off the deep end."
"Thank you for talking me down from that."
"I really wouldn't have let you go, you know. I would not be driving you to the airport if I wasn't one hundred percent sure that you're going to France."
"Thank you."
"We're going to miss you, Y/N. All of us, we really are." You thank him and offer a warm smile.
"Are you sure you can take care of Lucas while I'm gone? Without killing him?"
Something serious flashes in Johnny's eyes for a second. "I will never see him the same. I hate that you forgave him. But it's your life, and I support you."
"He and I both had to change a lot over the last couple of months. He had to learn to cherish someone that he so often took for granted. He knows now what he did to me, he's made effort to change and I've forgiven him. I had to learn to cherish the people in my life too. I had to learn how to accept that I'm cared for. No body is perfect, but both of us are trying to be good."
"If you've both changed so much, are you still both the perfect opposites?"
"I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think I'm the same person I was before the fight."
"Oh yeah? What about him?"
"Hardly." Johnny hummed in acknowledgement. "I think maybe, he's the word now. He's an idea, an emotion. It's my turn to be the action. I get to live my life for me, now."
"You've always been strong," Johnny adds, pulling into the airport parking garage. "I'm glad you finally realized it."
"I'll be back in June," you remind. "I'll come back stronger than I've ever been before. I'll be able to do things for myself."
"We'll all be waiting for you. Six months?"
"Six months."
"I can't wait to meet you again in six months."
#lucas#wong yukhei#nct#taeyong#johnny#mark#ten#lee#angst#smut#fluff#oneshot#series#x reader#imagine#reaction#jungwoo#kim#kpop
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Your blog is adorable 🥴. Very saccharine~ Now, I have a question, how would Dick, Tim, and Jason react to their s/o reading fanfics on them?? Thank you! ❤️🖤❤️
Thank You So Much!!! I’m glad you like it!!!
Oh my gosh, I never realised how great of a fanfic this idea would be. Now because you didn’t specify I did some headcanons and a small scenario for each.
(H/n = Hero Name)
Dick
Ok, It wasn’t that big of a deal.
Someone just sent a link of a Kid flash x Nightwing
It was a quick read and lets just say...It spiralled
It could be classified as an obsession once you started googling x reader
He knew about it ever since he opened your laptop when you asked him to email himself a pic
His reaction was like a whole new world had opened up to him.
Now he emails you random fanfics he found.
His favourite ones are the Nightwing x H/n
I was at home one day and Dick was out being himself so I decided it was time to check out the Nightwing x H/n I’ve had in my recommended for like years. I got so deep into the story I didn’t even hear the front door open until Dick walked into our shared bedroom.
“Hello hot stuff” I say closing my laptop. I walked over to where he was awaiting his hug and I gladly gave him what he wanted. Without realising I quickly snapped a selfie. We looked hot.
“Dam babe look at us” He quickly glances at it and asks me
“Dam. Can you email that to me? I broke my phone on patrol tonight” After scolding him for breaking his phone for the third time this week, I tell him to email it to himself as I was gonna take a shower. As I hopped into the shower it clicked that I had told him to look at my laptop. Which currently was open to a NSFW chapter. I quickly raced out of the shower to Dick. Who was chilling on our bed scrolling through the page.
“I’m sending myself this too, Ok? Then maybe we can reenact it”
Tim
Here’s the thing about the fanfiction
You were scrolling through Tumblr, Just chilling
When a Tim Drake x Reader popped up
This got you interested because
You expected there to be Red Robin fanfiction but not any Tim Drake Fanfiction.
It was pretty well written so You clicked on the blog where you found a jackpot
Red hood x reader? Check!
Nightwing x reader? Check!
Red Robin x reader? Check
But almost all of the blog was covered in
H/n x Tim Drake or
H/n x Red Robin or
H/n x Reader.
Well since it was a fan you decided to read them.
They obviously shipped you with Tim so you decided to share it with him.
When he was blushing like crazy you thought he was embarrassed about there being fanfiction about him until he muttered.
“That’s My Blog”
Running into Wayne Manor at full speed. I was lucky Alfred opened the door because I had my laptop open and I would of broken it if I ran into the door. I might of gotten hurt but I’m focusing on important stuff. I continued my run until I located Tim’s room. As per usual I opened the door not expecting to see almost the entire family minus Alfred. Pretending socialising didn’t bother me I ran over to Tim.
“What’s Wrong Y/n?”
“Nothing's wrong, I just found this blog on Tumblr, It has Red Robin fanfiction and Tim Drake Fanfiction. It also has Fanfiction about you guys. But like it’s weirdly specific.”
“What do you mean, Weirdly Specific Y/n?” Says Dick, Who is used to fanfiction written about him.
“It says here, I headcanon that Nightwing has a daughter who came from the future, Named Nightstar” That shut him up completely.
“We have to check the entire batcave. Someone is getting intel out to th-” Bruce started to say. He got cut off by Tim
“There’s no need Bruce.” His face was redder than a tomato peel. We have to question him before he blurts out
“IT WAS A DARE! STEPHANIE AND I WROTE FANFICTION BECAUSE WE WERE DARED TO! AND I KEPT WRITING H/N X RED ROBIN BECAUSE I LIKED IT!!!”
Jason was the first to start dying of laughter.
Jason
Jason had been away for too long
You started to miss him
So you may of typed ‘Red Hood X Reader’
It may have been your coping method for when he went away for a long time
Reading may of become writing...
Then your fanfictions began to grow in popularity
So one day while you were reading some Red Hood X Arsenal,
You got a text message from Kori
‘Jason is almost home’
You expected that meant at least two minutes so you kept reading
But he waltzed into the room nearly ten seconds later.
When he realised what you were reading...
Expect LOTS of teasing.
I was finishing the last chapter of a really good Red hood x Arsenal when I got a text message from kori, She told me Jason was going to home soon. I got really excited because he had been gone for so long this time. But my brain wouldn’t let me continue life until I knew Ro- I mean Arsenal lived in the fanfiction. So I quickly started reading it. Before I could click off the tab tho, Jason waltzed into the room like he owned the place. Well he owned 50% of it. I went to shut my laptop very quickly but his hand held it open.
“What have we got here?” His eyes quickly scan over the screen. I tried to distract him with a kiss but he already saw it.
“Oho? What’s this y/n? You do this a lot when I’m gone, Don’t you” To spare myself from the teasing I did the one thing I knew would distract him. I leant over in my most seductive pose and said
“I was really excited for your return Red Hood” In my most lustful voice. As I expected it worked. He threw my laptop onto the other side of the bed and pulled me close so his mouth was at my ear.
“We will discuss that later”
#batfam#dc#dick grayson#nightwing#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#batfam x reader#dc x reader#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#tim drake x reader#red robin x reader#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#batfamily#batfamily x reader
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Valentine Throwbacks: Day 3
This Valentine’s fic was also written for the Tumblr Valentine’s prompts back in 2018. This one was day 8: First “I love you.” I don’t know if this qualifies as canon or canon divergent. I think of it as “filling in a plot hole.” Dark Hook’s words to Emma in Broken Heart about how he always said it first made no sense to me. After all, from what we saw on screen, Emma said it first and Killian had only ever said it indirectly. I know some people explain it by saying the darkness twists the truth, but I got to thinking . . . In Operation Mongoose, all Emma said was that she never told him how she felt. Maybe he threw the “L” word around all the time. I know people have very strong feelings about this topic, but this isn’t me portraying Killian as “taking away Emma’s agency” (because that would imply a man can never say “I love you” first, which is ridiculous, or that saying the words at all are somehow manipulative, which is also ridiculous). This is just me doing what fanfic writers do - taking canon and going, I wonder . . .
Can you tell I had to delete a nasty comment about this fic back in 2018? I still love it, though, and wanted to share it again.
Summary: Three times Killian Jones tells Emma Swan he loves her, and one time he doesn't.
Words: 2k and some change
Rating: T
Also on Ao3
Tagging: @snowbellewells @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kmomof4 @let-it-raines @teamhook @bethacaciakay @xhookswenchx @tiganasummertree @shireness-says @stahlop @scientificapricot @welllpthisishappening @resident-of-storybrooke @thislassishooked @ilovemesomekillianjones @kday426 @ekr032-blog-blog @lfh1226-linda @ultraluckycatnd @nikkiemms @optomisticgirl @profdanglaisstuff @carpedzem @ohmakemeahercules @branlovestowrite @superchocovian @sherlockwhovian @vvbooklady1256 @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @delirious-latenight-laughs @jennjenn615 @snidgetsafan @xsajx @itsfabianadocarmo @spartanguard @hookedonapirate
One: The First Date
The sea always calmed Killian, and while calm was an odd way to feel when he was finally on a date with Emma Swan, it was the best word he could use to describe how he felt right now. Despite his worries over his supposedly cursed hand, despite the ice witch who was out there somewhere, Killian felt deliciously content in this moment. Emma’s hand was in his, he could hear the soothing beat of the waves beneath the docks, and Emma’s hair glittered like gold in the moonlight.
She let go of his hand to lean against the railing of the boardwalk, and as she did, he noted the elegant curve of her neck, the way her ponytail swished against her shoulder blades, the almost girlish way she popped her foot and dug her toe into the old, wet boards. She shivered, and he inwardly berated himself for not thinking of the dropping temperatures or her bare shoulders (aside from admiring her soft skin, that is).
He shrugged out of his leather jacket and quickly draped it over her. “Here love, you have more need of this than I do.”
Emma accepted it gladly with a soft thank you, slipping her arms into the sleeves and hugging her torso. She was uncharacteristically vulnerable tonight, and he hoped that was because she felt safe with him.
She shivered still as she drew the jacket tighter around herself, and Killian came closer to wrap his arms around her from behind. She sighed and leaned back into him. Words didn’t seem necessary for the moment as they simply stood there, wrapped up in one another, gazing at the stars. Killian lowered his head to nuzzle into her neck, the scent of her shampoo making his heart thud loudly in his chest.
“I love you,” he whispered. He wasn’t sure if it was the quiet, or her softness in his arms, but the words just slipped out.
She stiffened slightly, and he held his breath, fearful that he had spoken too soon. She turned, still in the circle of his arms, her face flushed, eyes shining and darting to and fro. The moment stretched out, marked by the undulating sound of the waves below.
Finally, she raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him. He kissed her back, knowing it was the only answer she could give. At least for now.
Two: Valentine’s Day
“Swan!” Killian shouted, as he burst into the loft. His fear ratcheted up a few more notches when he saw that the place was empty. It had been weeks since the Crocodile left town, and therefore weeks since there had been a crisis, but Emma’s text message had him falling right back into that mode. He glanced down at his screen to read the message again.
Come to the loft. Hurry.
He heard a laugh from the top of the stairs, and when he lifted his gaze from his phone, he saw Emma standing there, a bright smile on her face. Killian let out a huge sigh of relief as he pocketed his phone.
“Bloody hell, Swan, you scared me to death!”
“I scared Captain Hook?” she teased, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking her head. “Yay me. Now get up here, pirate.”
Killian did as she asked without further complaint. Belle had teased him about being whipped, and when she explained to him what that meant, he couldn’t really argue. He’d traded his ship for this woman, jumped through a time portal for her. Anything else was a trifle, really.
When he reached the second floor of the loft, Emma stood in front of her bathroom door with her hands behind her back grasping the doorknob. She wore an eager grin and there was delight shining in her eyes.
“Do you know what today is?”
Killian scratched his jaw with the curve of his hook. “Aye, Valentine’s Day, a holiday which requires Granny to decorate the diner with tacky red hearts and naked babies with bows and arrows.”
Emma chuckled and shook her head. “Yeah, I know, it’s kind of cheesy. But you’ve done so much for me, I wanted to do a little something for you . . . so . . . “
With that she flung the door open, simultaneously grabbing his hook and pulling him through the door. The claw foot tub in the corner was filled to almost overflowing with big, frothy bubbles.
“It’s a bubble bath,” Emma explained, shaking his arm excitedly. “You were so thrilled with showers, and my parents said there were no bubble baths in the Enchanted Forest, not like this, sooo . . ta-da!”
Killian grinned at the thought she had apparently put into this. He approached the tub cautiously, dipping his hand in to find the water invitingly warm. It was difficult to keep water at such a perfect temperature back in the Enchanted Forest. He glanced around and also saw candles burning all over the room.
“Come on,” Emma said, yanking on his arm, “before the water gets cold and the bubbles disappear.”
She had already yanked off his jacket and tossed it on the floor. He was blushing, which was slightly embarrassing. “You, uh, talked to your parents about this?”
Emma rolled her eyes as she unbuttoned his vest. “Are you kidding? My dad would have a coronary. After he pulled his gun on you, that is. I just asked for a few hours without the baby. I think mom suspected something, but my dad seems to be a little clueless about that sort of thing. Or at least when it involves me.”
Killian’s vest was cast aside, and he watched Emma as she worked on the buttons of his shirt. Her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she worked them. “How do you do this with one hand?” She muttered. “These buttons are tiny.”
Killian cleared his throat nervously as he closed his hand around Emma’s, “I think I can handle it from here.”
“No way, sailor,” Emma corrected him with a heated stare, “that tub is big enough for two.”
His blush only increased as he gazed into her eyes. Not only was this a new step in their own relationship, but it was a level of intimacy he had never shared with anyone after losing his hand. Sex became nothing more than a rough, quick release with nameless, faceless women who craved a night to forget just as much as he did. While some women had seen him without his hook, no living person had seen him without his brace since that horrible, painful day on his ship so long ago. And he hated to admit it, even to himself, but he was ashamed.
“Emma,” was all he managed to choke out as he rubbed his thumb nervously along the inside of her wrist. He wasn’t sure how to put what he was feeling into words. He just stood there, staring at the floor and clenching his jaw.
“Hey,” Emma said softly, reaching up with both hands to cup his face. She eased his chin up until his eyes met hers, and what he saw there stole his breath. Understanding. Patience. And above all, acceptance. She ran her thumbs wordlessly across his cheeks for a moment, then her hands drifted down to finish the buttons. She eased his shirt off his shoulders and one arm, then carefully worked the other sleeve around his hook. Then she ran her hand over the leather straps, almost as if she were admiring them.
“It’s okay,” she whispered as she unbuckled them. Her voice soothed him, but he still closed his eyes as she eased the brace completely from his torso. He kept them closed as her hands mapped his chest, his shoulders, his arms. Then she was cradling his stump in both hands, running her thumbs over the scars. His eyes finally opened to see her do what he had thought was unthinkable. She lifted his arm to her lips and placed a soft kiss at the end of it. His own breath came out in a shaky hiss.
“It’s okay,” she said again, pressing his stump against her to rest between her breasts. She stepped closer, her free arm encircling his waist, her cheek pressed against his chest, his bad arm wedged between them.
Killian, almost overcome with the tenderness of the moment, brought his hand up shakily to run his one hand through her hair. He lowered his face to breathe in the softness of her hair. “I love you so much,” he told her huskily.
She lifted her head to look at him, her mouth agape. Her eyes were awash with intensity, and he waited with bated breath for her words to come.
But Emma’s expression changed to a smirk as she yanked at the zipper of his jeans instead.
Three: The Cabin in the Woods
He stands there, simply gazing at her in amazement. He can’t believe she doesn’t know. Tears prick at his eyes. Is it that hard for her to believe she’s enough?
“Don’t you know, Emma?” he finally manages to say around the lump in his throat. “It’s you.”
The look on her face almost kills him. So shocked and full of wonder. They are drawn together slowly, tenderly, and as he kisses her, he can taste a tear in the corner of her mouth. He turns to kiss the salty path on her cheek.
“I love you,” he breathes against her petal soft skin.
She just buries her face in the crook of his neck and sighs.
Four: The Loft
One moment, lowly deckhand Hook feels cold steel slice through skin, muscle, and sinew. He reaches his one hand out to Emma Swan, regretting that he hadn’t grabbed hold of the moment offered him earlier. That he hadn’t leaned down and kissed her. Because no one has ever looked at him that way before. And no one has ever looked as devastated as Emma Swan does right now as he falls to the ground, the life bleeding out of him.
The next moment, his eyes are opening and he’s on his back on a hardwood floor. He’s Captain Hook again. No, he’s Killian Jones, hero and the man who loves Emma Swan. He smiles. They did it. Henry and Emma did it!
Henry! He leaps to his feet, ignoring the groans of Snow and David still on the floor behind him as he races upstairs to be sure the lad is ok. He doesn’t even have time to look for the boy when Emma bursts in, “Hook!” the first word on her lips.
He can tell she’s frantic and distraught, so he plays cocky and comedic. It was the right choice, as her face lights up with joy. She comes racing up the stairs, his given name now spoken with delight as she tackles him with a hug. It takes him by surprise when she tumbles with him onto the bed, knocking the breath out of him in the process. But he delights in the weight of her pressing him into the mattress and he enjoys it even more when she pins his arms on either side of his head, propping herself up to grin down at him. He really wishes her parents weren’t right downstairs.
“Didn’t mean to frighten you, love,” he tells her, “when I woke, I came up here to check on your boy.”
“He’s fine, Henry’s fine . . . “ She trails off, her smile faltering, and her eyes getting a sort of far-off look.
Concerned, he sits up, his forehead creasing as he searches her suddenly pale expression. “What is it, love?”
“It’s just . . . when I saw you die . . . I was afraid I would never get to tell you . . . “
Killian thinks he knows where she’s going with this. He understands her walls, her fears, her insecurities. Mostly because he’s felt them too. He tries to encourage her, but feels he only succeeds in plastering a ridiculously broad grin on his face.
“To tell you . . . thank you.”
For a brief moment, his heart drops all the way to his stomach. He died for her, and still she holds back. But he swallows down the hurt and disappointment. It has to be on her terms, he only wants it on her terms, and so he smiles. He barely hears the rest of her babbling thank you.
“All in a day’s work for a hero,” he tells her when she finishes. She presses her forehead to his, burying her fingers in his hair. He wonders if she expects him to say it like he always does: I love you. But this time, he can’t.
Killian Jones is a patient man. One day, perhaps, she’ll simply say it. Those three little words he longs to hear from her lips.
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All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU
{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}
Chapter Two - Beatrice and Bertrand make a Grave Error
The Baudelaire children usually didn’t go out on their own. It wasn’t that their parents didn’t trust them, but there had been several instances where they had to drop everything and immediately leave town, and Beatrice and Bertrand were absolutely terrified that one day their children would be too far away for them to pick up, and they’d end up separated, and then somehow the world would explode. But sometimes, if the kids were reasonably cautious, they could take a day to themselves.
Violet was sitting at the edge of the beach, tying back her hair. “Klaus, at what angle are the prevailing currents?”
Klaus pulled a book from the basket, reading aloud from the chart inside. Beside them, Sunny gnawed on a rock, gave it a glare, and then tossed it aside, reaching for one that wasn’t sandstone.
“Of course, we’ll need the right projectile.” Klaus said.
“That’s where Sunny comes in.” Violet said. “How you doing, sweetie?”
Sunny smiled and held up the stone, now perfectly flat. “Asill!” she called, meaning something akin to, “Ready!”
Violet pushed back the picnic basket, and stood, waving the rock in her hand.
“Excuse me, Violet,” Klaus said, “Why are you using your left hand?”
“I’m curious to see if I can throw as far with my left as I can with my right.”
“I thought this was to gather data, though.”
“My invention may need to differentiate between dominant and non-dominant hands.”
“I guess that’s true. Mark the rock.”
“Shit, I almost forgot.” Violet said. She knelt down, opening up the basket, and pulling out some chalk from underneath the canned food. “Here it is.” She drew a large X, and then stood up again and skipped. The three siblings watched as the rock tossed itself across the water and then, after Klaus called out nine skips, Violet handed him her ribbon and dove in.
Sunny cheered as the siblings were splashed. She loved getting wet and messy, though she knew it was a bad thing, as they only had a few clothes at a time. “Luto!” she cheered, meaning, “Get mud on us next!”
“Sunny, no.” Klaus sighed, pulling a dry shirt from the basket to wipe his glasses.
“Ye!” Sunny said, which meant something like, “Sunny, yes!”
Klaus replaced his glasses and looked back to the water, to see Violet emerging several feet away, her hair pressed against her face. She held up the rock, and called, “How far?”
“What?”
“How far?”
“What?”
Violet sighed and swam closer, eventually making her way back onto the sand, now dripping wet. “I said, ‘how far?’” She repeated, handing Klaus the rock.
“Oh.” Klaus considered, absent-mindedly pocketing the stone, and then told her his best guess.
“We’ll need exacts, of course,” Violet said, squeezing her hair, and then shaking like a dog. “We’ll need some kind of measuring device.” She took her ribbon from Klaus, tying her hair back again. “I need a measuring device. Portable and waterproof. Sunny-”
“Gack!” Sunny shouted, pointing ahead. “Look at that mysterious figure emerging from the fog!”
The children looked up; the beach was, indeed, quite foggy, and up ahead, was some sort of figure moving towards them.
Violet immediately tensed up, and grabbed the basket, slamming it shut and flipping the lock. Klaus lifted Sunny, who leaned into his shoulder and squinted her small eyes.
“It only seems scary because of all the mist.” Klaus said.
Violet looked very carefully, and then instantly relaxed. She dropped the basket to the ground, and ran forwards.
“Mother! Father!”
Klaus’s face brightened, and he also ran with his big sister, lifting Sunny higher as she cheered. Out of the mist, Beatrice ran forwards, enveloping her daughter in a tight hug.
“Do we- Father!” Klaus squealed as Bertrand also hugged him, then decided to go the extra mile and spin him and Sunny around. Sunny laughed and threw up her arms as if they were on a ride, while Klaus just said, “Dad! Come on!”
“I assume this isn’t urgent, then?” Violet laughed, as Beatrice let her go and looked her over.
“No. Why are you all wet?”
“I jumped in the water to get a rock.”
“Well, okay. So long as your clothes dry-”
“These will be fine, they’re the right material.”
“Is it time to go already?” Klaus asked. “We only just stopped looking at fish and tide pools and just started skipping rocks.”
“Sorry, Klaus.” Bertrand said, putting him and Sunny down and straightening Sunny’s bonnet. “But the post office is closed for the weekend, which means we can get into the attic if we hurry before the custodians lock the doors.”
“Will Lemon Man send us a telegram?” Violet asked, in a sing-song voice; she’d come up with the half-rhyme when she was eight, to entertain Klaus.
“We hope so. His last message said he should be speaking soon.” Beatrice said, her face lighting up a little.
“And,” Bertrand smiled slightly, “When we get there, we have a surprise for you children.”
“Cake?” Sunny asked, excited.
“No, afraid not.” Bertrand laughed, and he took Klaus’s hand. “Come on, let’s hurry it up before we have to climb through the window.”
Beatrice creaked open the backdoor to the post office, peered inside, and then waved and went in. Violet followed cautiously, holding onto Sunny with one arm and Klaus’s hand with the other. Bertrand took up the rear, glancing behind them every now and again just to make sure they hadn’t been followed.
Violet remembered a few years ago- she’d had to have been ten or eleven- when they had been followed. Beatrice had quietly asked her if she recognized the man in the black hat behind them at the bookstore, and Violet realized he’d been a few tables away at the café, and Klaus muttered that he’d been at the same grocery store. Beatrice and Bertrand had taken them down several aisles of the shop they were in, zig-zagging best they could, before going out into the road, running wildly down several streets until they found a crowd, pushing through it, and then picking a well-populated spot to sleep- a homeless shelter, where thankfully nobody asked questions, and a nice lady taught Violet and Klaus how to play clapping games. But even then, Violet remembered a dread in the pit of her stomach, one that didn’t go away until they were three towns away, and the black-hat man made no further appearance, and Klaus had already forgotten the incident and almost ran away to chase a cat.
She hated that dread, and now she had two siblings to help her parents look after, one of whom had no sense of fear. But at least they weren’t completely helpless; Sunny was quite the biter, and though Klaus was a slower learner than her, he could hold his own in a fight at least long enough for backup to arrive. They could run, they could hide. And they were all on the lookout for followers, anyone they recognized too many times- or sometimes even specific people. Every now and again, Mother or Father would see something in the newspaper, and turn it around and point to someone and warn them that person was an enemy- either from VFD or against, it didn’t matter. They were an enemy to their parents, and therefore the children.
Beatrice directed them away from a room with some noise inside- probably a janitor, making sure everything was clean and locked up- and herded them towards a staircase. There, she signalled them several numbers with her hands- two, fifteen, twenty-seven. The stairs that creaked. Violet went up first, swiftly skipping the steps, while Klaus took a bit longer, watching to make sure Violet skipped the step before doing so himself. Even Sunny fell silent, which was very nice; it had taken them quite some time to convince her that, yes, she had to stop humming or crying or giggling when they needed to be quiet.
Beatrice finally pushed open the door to the attic, and peered in, lighting a candle that lay beside the door. The small room flickered with the dim light, and Violet’s eyes flickered, too, as she saw the old telegrams stored around them.
“These still work.” Beatrice nodded as Violet put Sunny down, reaching again for her ribbon. “Take one apart if you want, but leave at least one working, in case Lemony contacts us.”
“Loco?” Sunny asked, which meant something like, “He knows where we are?”
“He has a… general idea.” Bertrand explained, as Klaus put the basket by the wall and he closed the door. “We never tell anyone exactly where we are, Sunny.”
“But more importantly,” Beatrice knelt by the ground, and her children quickly sat around her, forming a circle with a space left for their father, “Our surprise. Are you ready?”
“Mother, of course we are.” Klaus tried to hide his smile.
“Enough with the theater kid reveal, just tell us.” Violet said.
Beatrice made a pouting face. “What? Too dramatic for you?”
“We’re not babies, Mom.”
“Dis,” Sunny said, which meant, “That’s offensive.”
“Shut up, Sunny, you wanna see, too.”
Bertrand sat inbetween his two youngest children, looking more excited than they were, and said, “Bea, dear, show them what we got.”
Beatrice smiled so, so brightly, and then she reached into her jacket pocket, and whipped out a deck of cards.
The Baudelaires immediately lost their minds.
“Holy shit!” Klaus shouted, forgetting that they should still be quiet and also that he probably shouldn’t swear in front of his parents.
“Oh my God!” Violet started bouncing up and down, a dazzling glee spread across her face. “Oh my God! You got some? We can have some? For a while?”
“Pok!” Sunny screamed, which meant something like, “You’ll teach me to play, right? You said you would!”
Beatrice also bounced slightly, dropping the pack onto the floor in front of Sunny, who immediately grabbed it and bit into the plastic wrap to open it. “Yes! There was some in the convenience store, and since it’s finally warm enough we could ditch one pack of matches, so we have room for these now!”
“I’ll deal!” Klaus took the cards from Sunny, while she continued to bite into the plastic. “What are we playing first?”
“Pesca!” Sunny said. “Go fish!”
“Or,” Beatrice took a card from Klaus, “I could show you some tricks!”
“Yes! Yes!” Violet cheered. She quickly turned to Sunny and said, “Mother’s card tricks are the best. She can make them disappear!”
Sunny gave her a look of disbelief. “Jan,” she said, which meant, “Yeah, right.”
“Well, Sunny,” Beatrice said, showing her the ace of hearts, “If you think so…” Then, with a swish of her hand, the card was gone.
Violet and Klaus clapped, while Bertrand laughed. Sunny, however, widened her eyes in shock, and then she let out a wail.
Beatrice’s face fell. “Oh, no, Sunny, look, I can bring it back!” She waved her hand, and the ace of hearts was in her hand again.
Sunny stopped crying, a look of amazement on her face. “Wow!” she clapped.
“Now,” Bertrand said, “I was thinking about Patience. Klaus, do you want to show Sunny how to play?”
Klaus nodded, spreading out the cards. “See, Sunny, here the symbols don’t matter, but the numbers and colors. You know what numbers to look for, right?”
“Dec!” Sunny said, which meant, “One through Ten!”
“Good. Then after Ten comes the Jack, the Queen, and the King. Now, can you remember them in descending order?”
“Toidi.” “Yes, Klaus, I’m not an idiot.”
Klaus spread out the cards, and they all spread out, calling out cards they thought they could play. This continued for quite some time, to the point where Beatrice had to light a second candle so they could keep playing, and Sunny had to make sure nobody saw her yawn and would make her go to bed.
“Who taught you how to play cards?” Violet asked, after a while.
“My foster mother.” Bertrand said. “Beatrice learned from…”
He trailed off, but Beatrice finished. “From my chaperone.”
They fell silent. Then, Klaus said, “Well, I bet they didn’t think that part of the game would be trying to keep an infant from eating the- Sunny, stop it!”
Sunny put down the queen of spades, huffing. That was enough to brighten the mood again, and Beatrice let out a loud laugh, almost doubling over. “S-Sunny, please- please, they’re not food.”
“Doo,” Sunny said, which meant, “Everything’s food if you eat it.”
“Sunny.” Bertrand laughed.
“God, you’re going to be a disaster when you get older.” Violet giggled, placing a card down.
“Xis,” Sunny huffed, which meant something like, “No, I’m going to be the Queen, so bow to me, peasants.”
“Now, Sunny,” Bertrand chided, “That’s no way to talk to your loyal subjects.”
“Loyal my ass,” Violet snorted. “We’re throwing her down the garbage chute first chance we get. Too much dead weight.”
“Bapa!” “I’ll show you who’s dead weight!”
Sunny launched herself at Violet, barely shaking her balance. Violet, though, flopped on the ground, crying, “Oh no! The Queen has gone mad with power!”
“The Queen is attacking the Royal Scientist!” Klaus shouted, before picking Sunny up and waving her in the air. “Off with her head!”
“Viva la Revolución!” Violet cheered from the floor.
“Now, now,” Beatrice laughed, “Does the Empress have to step in?”
“No, the Empress can go make out with the Emperor.” Klaus said, as he tossed Sunny into the air and caught her again.
“Well, if you insist-” Bertrand said.
“Dad, no! Not in front of the baby!”
“I’m baby!” Sunny cheered, as Klaus tossed her again.
But before they could say any more, they heard a telegram machine start up.
Beatrice immediately leapt to her feet, rushing to the machine that was printing out a small paper for them. Bertrand froze, eyes wide.
“Lemon Man has sent us a telegram!” Klaus said.
Violet didn’t join in his laughter, though, instead inspecting her parents’ faces. Whenever she was present for the receiving of a telegram, her parents always had the same look, a mixture that took her several experiences to decipher. First, in their jumble of instant emotions, was an excitement- whether positive or negative depended on how much of a jam they were in, though her parents made sure that they were never in too much danger to begin with. Second was relief, because it meant Snicket knew where they were and could send them news, though it was always in code. Third was a fear, fear that this would be horrible news, or someone else’s message, telling them that Snicket had been captured and someone was coming for them. Last, and hardest to figure out- in fact, Violet only placed it now, as Beatrice returned with the paper, showing it to Bertrand, who took out a pen to help decode- was a longing. She wondered what the longing was for- for the life they’d left behind, or just for their friend. They’d always seemed very fond of Lemony, whenever they discussed him; they must have been incredibly close.
“He hasn’t used this code in a while.” Beatrice snorted. “Finally remembered it existed.”
“Yeah, he’s gotta stop using Sebald. Too wordy.” Bertrand said.
“First of all, that’s just how Lemony is.” Beatrice said. “Second, bold words coming from ‘attempting a botanical hybrid through the tuberous canopy, which should bring safety to fruition despite its dangers to our associates in utero.’”
“Hell, Bea, you still have that memorized?”
“I’m an actress, dear, memorization is my job.”
“Get a room!” Klaus said, rolling his eyes and bouncing Sunny on his lap, where she had started to eat her bonnet.
“You need any help with that, Mother?” Violet asked, peering over at her parents circling letters and scribbling them at the paper’s edge.
“Thank you, Vi, but I think we’ve got it.” Beatrice said. She got to the last sentence, and said, “Alright, let’s see what our silence knot has for us today.”
Her and Bertrand’s eyes widened, however, as they read the message, and Violet could see a flash of fear. Shit. That wasn’t good news.
“Mother? What does it say?” Klaus asked, his face falling. Slowly, Violet started to pick up the playing cards.
Beatrice scanned the note, as if hoping that it would say something different. Then, quietly, she read.
HURRY. YOU ARE IN DANGER. I CAN KEEP YOU SAFE BUT YOU MUST RETURN TO THE CITY. MAY BE ABLE TO CLEAR YOUR NAMES. BRING ALL ASSOCIATES. O IS NEARBY. -YSK
Violet knew “YSK” was Lemony’s way of signing off- Your Silence Knot, some kind of inside joke they shared- and she knew that O was one of the people they were running from- what was his name again? Omar? But it didn’t matter what she knew; the message chilled her.
“The city?” Klaus’s voice grew quiet. “You said that’s where we were running from.”
“We shouldn’t be there.” Violet said.
Beatrice shut her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. Bertrand was the first one to respond. “Children, we trust Lemony more than anyone else on this planet- except you, of course. If he says…” he trailed off. “God, this is risky.”
“He wouldn’t ask us to do it if it wasn’t important.” Beatrice whimpered- the children had never known their mother to whimper.
“Are we sure it’s him?”
“Nobody else would sign off with YSK, or know our location.”
“How can Olaf be nearby?” Olaf, that was it!
“Which one is Olaf again?” Klaus asked.
Bertrand drew in a sharp breath. Beatrice shook slightly, and said, “He’s… he’s the one we wronged.”
Violet and Klaus went pale, while Sunny just looked up in confusion. “Whazzit?” she asked, but nobody responded.
“Are you… gonna tell us what happened?” Klaus prodded, and Violet elbowed him.
“We… we can discuss that when we’re safe.” Beatrice said. “We’ll have to move quickly. If we catch a train tonight, we should be there by morning.”
“Do you have money?”
“I have enough. We can put Sunny in the basket if someone wears an extra jacket, so we don’t have to pay for her ticket.”
“Sure.” Sunny nodded, excited to do some sneaking.
“Should we really bring the children?” Beatrice asked, glancing towards them.
“Lemony said to bring all associates. Who else could he mean? He must have some kind of plan, right?”
“Maybe he wants us to invite the designated safe people.”
“It would take a while for all your safehouse peeps to show up.” Violet mentioned. Their parents had them all memorize the addresses of places to go if they got separated, but she doubted Lemony would know which houses they were- or, indeed, if the people living there knew they were a safehouse.
Beatrice glanced back down at the telegram, running her hand over the message. Then, quietly, she said, “Do you think he could really clear our names?”
Bertrand met her gaze, and they were clearly asking the same question- do we want him to?
“So,” Violet interrupted, knowing her parents were thinking terrible things and not wanting that to continue for much longer, “Does this mean we get to meet our mysterious Lemony man?”
Beatrice and Bertrand each took a deep breath, and then Bertrand said, “Yes.”
Klaus smiled brightly, and he picked up Sunny. “What are we waiting for, then?”
Beatrice grabbed her husband’s hand, and as the children ran to get all their bags and make sure they had everything, she whispered, “We’re seeing him again.”
“We’re seeing him again.” Bertrand repeated, his voice just as full of hope as hers.
#asoue#asoue netflix#a series of unfortunate events#asoue au#runaway baudelaires au#asoue fanfiction#mine#my fanfic#the bad beginning#all those things they couldn't say
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title: chest (part 2)
author: lovelynyeongie
pairing: yugyeom + reader
genre: fluff, one shot
summary: from the time yugyeom started unbuttoning some of his buttons on his shirts, you grew to have an obsession over his chest
word count: 2555 words
a/n: I cry about yugyeom’s chest every night oh dear aLSO this story has two parts since I just knew that tumblr has a text limit when it comes to posting :)))
date: 07/26/19
【in case you haven’t read the first one, here !! -> part one <-♡】
You don’t know how many times he has worn his button up shirts with his chest revealed, but dang do you enjoy seeing it every time he wears it.
Of course, you were too flustered to tell him about it since it’s weird and he’ll get uncomfortable about the topic. You can’t even compliment him about it, you guessed that you were too conservative with your words or something.
And here you were, some of Yugyeom’s shirt all around the bed after cutting of buttons of it just for you to suffer even more.
Your phone vibrated, signaling a text message.
From: Gyeomie
“Hi baby! I’m almost home, I can spend time with you today since the guys and I didn’t have much schedule to do. See you later, I love you hehe.”
You heard a knock on the door downstairs.
Fuck, how is he fast?
Your eyes widen and you felt like time froze. Quickly, you threw the buttons that you removed in the trash can and hung the shirt inside the closet with some of the button up shirts that you cut the buttons off and ran down the stairs to open the door.
“Hi!” Yugyeom said, a large grin plastered on his face. He kissed your cheek and removed his shoes before coming inside, he plopped down the couch and patted the seat next to him, signaling for you to sit.
You obeyed and sat down with him, giving him a shy smile.
“What have you been doing today?” He asked, playing with your hair.
“Oh nothing, I cleaned the apartment and studied, nothing much happened.” You said, trying not to sound nervous about the fact that you cut off the buttons on some of his button up shirts.
“Are you okay? Your voice sounds shaky, is something wrong?” He asked, voice filled with concern.
Guess you failed at hiding it.
“Y-yes! I’m alright, I just feel cold.” You said, hugging yourself, pretending to be freezing.
“Then come closer, let me warm you up.” He smiled, opening his arms wide.
You blushed, shuffling closer to him. He closed his arms, cuddling you as you laid your head in his chest. You sighed, snuggling even more, feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Yugyeom chuckled and pulled you closer.
“We haven’t spent that much time together, huh?” He asked.
“Yes, but I understand don’t worry.” You said, looking into his eyes.
He frowned, “I feel a bit guilty though, I should give you attention too, not just on my career.”
“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to always be with me, you have your own dreams too. I’ll just be here supporting you and wait for you here at home, just to see you and care for you.” You reassured him.
He smiled, “I really don’t deserve to have such a wonderful girlfriend in my life. But still, we’re going outside today. Let’s go on a date, it’s a nice afternoon outside anyways.”
“Are you sure? You might have a surprise schedule or something…” you trailed off.
“As I said before, there’s not much schedule for today and besides, we’ve already done everything in advance so we’re just chilling a bit before we are bombarded again. So come on, let’s go get dressed.” He pulled your hand, walking up to the bedroom.
You smiled to yourself, thinking of what plans he had in mind and what to dress for the day.
Dress?
Pants?
Shirt?
Shirt.
Oh shit.
Your eyes widen, suddenly remembering the button up shirts. You were already walking in the hallway, Yugyeom’s hand still in yours, you quickly pulled his to the point he almost stumbled onto you.
“YUGYEOM WAIT!” You shouted, halting your feet.
“WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT DID I DO? ARE YOU MAD?” Yugyeom exclaimed, panic evident in his face.
“N-no, I just remembered that I left the oven on! Let’s go down quickly!” You exclaimed, trying to pull his hand with all your might.
Unfortunately, he was stronger than you. He pulled you back into his chest and held you close.
“Chill, I’ll turn it off. Go change already.” He said, letting go of your hand and sprinted down the stairs.
You quickly ran inside the bedroom and grabbed all of his shirts from the closet and stashed it underneath the bed. You checked around the room if there are still shirts and buttons around, but everything was clean.
You sighed in relief and planned on what you want to wear.
You heard Yugyeom’s footsteps coming closer to the room. You tried to act normal as possible as he entered the room.
“Babe, are you pranking me? Because the oven was off the whole time.” He said.
“I got you hehe,” you played along to calm yourself down, “it was really off the whole time!”
He rolled his eyes, “I swear, I’m not that gullible.” He said, walking towards the closet to change his shirt.
“You are though, from past experiences.” You giggled, entering the bathroom to change your outfit.
“I WAS PANICKING THAT TIME CAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA DISBAND JUST BECAUSE OF BREAKING A FREAKING WINE BOTTLE!” He exclaimed.
You laughed, hearing how whiny his voice is.
You finished changing and fixing yourself up, you went back in the room and see a shirtless Yugyeom.
“Babe, have you seen my plaid button up shirt? I know it’s in here somewhere...” he trailed off, scavenging inside the closet.
You froze and tried to calm yourself down, “I-I don’t know, maybe it’s in the laundry.” You said calmly, trying to change his mind.
“I just saw it hung on the closet’s handle yesterday, maybe it fell.” He said, kneeling down to look underneath the pile of clothes inside the closet.
You were so nervous that you held your breath, watching him on the side of the bed while he was finding the shirt.
“I guess it’s not in here, even my other button up shirts are not in here.” He said, standing up.
“You can just wear another shirt, then we can find it later when we get home.” You assured him.
“Alright.” He said, grabbing one of his shirts inside the closet and wore it.
“Are you ready to go?” He asked.
Yugyeom walked towards you, but he felt something soft and light material underneath his feet. He looked down and saw a long sleeve of a shirt.
You looked down and you felt panic and worry once you saw what he was stepping on.
Fuck, I’m screwed.
He reached down on what he stepped on and pulled it out coming from underneath the bed.
“It’s my shirt! And it has missing buttons.” He amused.
He bent down and looked underneath the bed and pulled out more shirts that you hid from him.
I’m so fucking screwed.
“These shirts also has missing buttons...” he frowned.
You suddenly felt guilty about what you did before, you didn’t say a word about the clothing.
“Babe, why are all my shirts underneath the bed?” He asked, grabbing all the shirts and plopping it in the bed.
“I d-don’t know...” you said in a soft voice, averting your eyes away from him.
“Baby, I’ve known you for years and I can tell that you’re lying to me. Do you know about this?” He asked gently.
“Alright, I was the one who did that to your shirts. But I do have a reason! It’s just very weird...” you couldn’t hold back the guilt anymore so you blurted everything out.
“Which is...?” He anticipated for your reasoning.
“It’s just a small thing so I hope you won’t get mad or weirded out...” you trailed off.
“No, I won’t! Why would I? It’s just a shirt. Now, tell me why.” He said, placing his hand on your shoulders and squeezing it reassuringly.
“I just...love seeing how exposed your collarbones and chest are when you wear your button up shirts with some buttons popped off so I decided to just cut off some buttons of your shirts so that I would always see it, please don’t be mad.” You said your reason as fast as you can and squeezed your eyes shut, preparing for a disappointed Yugyeom to come and decide to break up with you.
But to your surprise, you heard laughter filling the room.
You opened your eyes slowly and you can see your boyfriend laughing on the bed, about to tear up.
“It’s not that funny! And aren’t you going to be mad at me? I ruined your shirts...” you said, looking down at your feet.
He sat up, still giggling, “why would I be mad when that was the most cutest thing I’ve ever heard from you?” He smiled.
“It’s not cute! How can ruining one’s clothing be cute?” You said, sitting down beside him.
“For me, it is. Also, you could’ve just told me in the first place that you liked my body so much, I could’ve flaunted it more whenever you’re around.” He smirked.
You became flustered, not having the power to look him in the eyes or you might melt and die from embarrassment.
“Ah seriously, why are you like this?” You sighed.
“I should be the one asking you that, you naughty girl.”
He suddenly pushed you down the bed and moved on top of you. You were too shocked to function or even process what’s happening. You were surprised yet again when he removed his shirt off and threw it somewhere around the room.
Your eyes were wide and didn’t know how to breathe properly once you saw his milky skin and structured chest. You unconsciously put your hands on his warm torso and traced it until it reached his collarbones. Yugyeom sighed at the feeling of your hands all over him.
“Are you really that obsessed with my chest?” He chuckled.
“Yes...” you replied back, so engrossed into his whole being.
“Forget the date outside then. Right now, I’m all yours.” He leaned down and captured your lips to his.
At that point, you can tell how much you loved every part of him. You were so in love with his wholeness.
#kim yugyeom#got7 yugyeom#yugyeom scenarios#yugyeom imagines#got7#got7 scenarios#got7 imagines#im jaebeom#mark tuan#jackson wang#park jinyoung#choi youngjae#bambam#fluff#one shot#lovelynyeongie
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Need | Taeyong (NCT)
• pairing: Taeyong/reader
• genre: fluff. tooth rotting, sweet, domestic, fluff.
• warnings: none
• word count: 1.5k
• summary → You really just wanted cuddles.
note: the name sounds very sexual but this is the opposite
You were bored. You were really bored. It was the middle of the day and all you wanted at this moment to was to be cuddling your boyfriend, Taeyong. Unfortunately for you, that couldn’t happen since he was at practice, leaving you to count the minutes until he’s at your apartment so you could be in his arms.
You headed over to your desk to use your laptop and see what you could do to pass time. You settled with scrolling through Twitter and Tumblr, even watched a few videos on Youtube, but nothing seemed to peak your interest. With a disgruntled groan, you shut your laptop, laid down on your bed and thought of all the things you could do to keep you occupied.
There were a few assignments you had to do, but you knew your procrastinating self would do none of those. House chores? You thought, and again you thought against it, not having the motivation to do so. Finally, you just decided to roll over to the side of your bed where your table was placed and grabbed your phone to send random Snapchats to your friends.
You played around with the filters and sent Snapchats of you making faces to your friends. It was more of the latter that you sent because you were never decent on Snapchat. When you took an actual cute photo of yourself, you thoroughly picked out who would see it and Taeyong’s name was on the list. You quickly added clicked the blue check button beside his name and sent the picture. On top of that, you thought to send him a Snapchat of you whining.
“Taeyongiiieeeee, when is practice finishing?” You gave your best pout and whined, “I miss you. I want cuddles.”
You laughed to yourself after watching the video, knowing very well your boyfriend would be a mess after seeing it. It was a cute, short video with a filter giving you cat ears and whiskers. You saw him last week, however, that also meant that was a whole week without cuddles because of his busy schedule. When it came to cuddling, you were almost as clingy as him. This was just one of those times where you needed extra cuddles and who better to get them from than Taeyong.
In your relationship, Taeyong was more of the clingy one. He was always holding on to your side or having an arm around you, and making sure you know he’s there when he is. It was cute. Clingy wasn’t really your type, but his was just enough to make you fall in love with him a just a little bit more. The roles were reversed today because you wanted to feel the warmth of his body next to yours.
Your heart was warming the more you thought about the kind of cuddles Taeyong gives you. You could classify them into 3 categories: whiny cuddles, lovey cuddles, and comfort cuddles. Whiny cuddles were cuddles you’d get when Taeyong was being a big baby and wanted so very badly to get your attention from whatever it was that you were doing. In whiny cuddles, he doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants and with you being the softie that you are for him, he usually does. On the other hand, lovey cuddles were your usual kind of cuddles. They’re the ones where you can feel the love flowing between the both of you with your arms wrapped around each other. Those were your favorite ones. Lastly, comfort cuddles. It wasn’t like some cuddles weren’t comforting, they all were, as cuddles should be; comfort cuddles were extra comforting in a sense they were the kind that assured you he’d always be there for you no matter what. There were the kind of cuddles that would take place if one of you was feeling a bit down. The more you thought about his cuddles, the more you felt the absence of his presence beside you.
You rolled onto your stomach and groaned into your pillows. You wanted Taeyong to be there now, not in a few hours. You just wanted to hug him and have his arms around you. You wanted to pepper his face with kisses. You just wanted Taeyong to be there.
Honestly, you didn’t know where this was all coming from. It was true you loved cuddles and would get them whenever you wanted, but it was never like this. There was just this need to just have Taeyong by your side right there, right now. You weren’t entirely sure if you liked it or not. All you knew was that you wanted his cuddles. It was making your head hurt, so you closed your eyes and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
You woke up to your phone ringing. You let out small noises of annoyance as you tried to look for your carelessly placed phone. You could feel the vibrations from the call on your bed and soon you had it in your hand. You shot up when the caller ID read your boyfriend’s name.
“Taeyongiiieee.” You greeted happily, “Is your practice over? Can you come here now?”
You heard a soft chuckle from the other end. “I’m already here. Please open the door.”
You all but ran to your door and smiled widely at the sight of Taeyong in front of you. He looked like he just freshened up a bit from practice, but was wearing a light shirt and black jogging pants. Words could not describe how happy you were to see him. You practically threw yourself on to him causing the two of you to lose balance.
“Woah, calm down. Are you okay?” Taeyong asked you, pulling you away so he could look at you. There was a small smile tugging at his lips.
Breathlessly, you responded to him, “Yes, I’m fine. I’m just really really really glad to see you so I can finally get all my Taeyongie cuddlies.”
Taeyong’s heart almost beat out of his chest when you said that. How lucky was he to have ended up with someone as cute as you? That small gesture made him give you a quick peck on the lips to which you giggled at. You were like an actual child right now and Taeyong felt nothing but endearment towards it.
Quickly closing the door after Taeyong stepped into your apartment, you waited as he took off his shoes then quickly pulled him by his hand to your bedroom. You jumped under the covers and patted the spot next to you, gesturing for him to come lie down beside you. A smile made its way to his mouth. His eyes were sparkled with amusement. You were adorable.
He obliged your request and joined you on your bed. As soon as he was on it, you extended your arms out as a gesture for him to come closer so you could get the cuddles you’ve been craving the entire day. Taeyong was frozen, facing you as you did that, no smile on his face. Teasing you. His face broke out into a smile and a laugh melodiously fell out of his mouth once he saw your pouting face. He came closer and you positioned yourself so that you were facing him, one arm laid across his torso. Your leg instinctively hooked across his own. One of his arms wrapped around your shoulders protectively, the other placed parallel to yours on his stomach, his hand stroking your arm gently.
You were finally wrapped in his embrace. Finally. Your face was buried in his chest. There was a smile on your face. It felt so good for him to be with you. You breathed in his scent and it made you want to scoot even closer to him. Being with him made you feel warm. It wasn’t just his body heat, but something inside you was bubbling with excitement and serenity that spread through you whenever you were with him. You loved him. You loved him more than your words could describe.
Taeyong looked down at your calm figure. You were both comfortable in the current position you were in. If he was being honest, he missed you probably as much as you missed him. He was startled when he opened the Snapchat of you begging for him to come over. It was usually him making a fuss and bothering the other to go and give him attention. It was a pleasant surprise. He wouldn’t mind you being like this more often.
His heart filled with love as he stared at you. He felt the same warmth you felt spread through his body and couldn’t help but place a small kiss on the top of your head. This caused you to look at him. He didn’t miss the way your eyes were slightly glazed over or the way his heart skipped a beat in his chest when you looked at him. He was completely and utterly in love with you. He kissed you again, but this time on your lips. It was a soft kiss. No urgency and not a lot of force. It was enough for you to understand the message he was trying to relay to you.
When you pull away, the two of you continue to stare at each other, both in awe. You quickly peck him on the lips again then proceed to bury your face in his chest again.
This. This was alright. You wouldn’t mind spending an eternity in this bed with him like this. He wouldn’t either.
#taeyong fluff#fluff#lee taeyong fluff#taeyong scenario#lee taeyong scenario#nct fluff#nct scenario#nct 127 fluff#nct 127 scenario#nct u scenario#nct u fluff#nct#nct u#nct 127#lee taeyong#taeyong#god idk how to feel abt this#can u feel how soft i was#i still am#he has power#he has power OVER ME#im a whole wrek#pls save me#NOT BETA READ#i kinda edited it again a bit bc i saw my mistakes lol#iF ANYONE SEES ANYMORE FEEL FREE TO POINT THEM OUT TBH IM NOT USED TO WRITING YET
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Turn Around Bright Eyes - Chapter 3 - Why don’t we just cut to the chase?
A/N: Here's the next update to this tale that has so many of you hooked!
Alpha love goes to @squarepeg72. Beta love goes to the lovely @xxdustnight88. You should all go check them all out!
The title of this chapter is Why don't we just cut to the chase? which is a lyric from Man to Man by Gary Allen.
Be sure to check me out on Facebook and Tumblr if you'd like to interact with me a little more than the comment section allows. All the links are on my profile! :)
Be sure to let me know what you think!
Love always, ~starr
Hermione briefly glanced at the watch on her wrist before looking back at the door. Where was she? Millie never missed their weekly coffee. In fact, she normally beat Hermione here. Looking around the shop, she furrowed her brow as she searched the shop. Did she miss her sitting at a table when she got here?
Scanning the room resulted in nothing, so she reached down into her purse and fished out her mobile. Maybe something had happened to her. Maybe, Hermione remembered the time wrong.
She scoffed at the thought as she slid her thumb across the screen. She never got the time of anything wrong. In fact, she had triple checked the time this morning before she even considered leaving the house. She scrolled through her messages until she found Millie's name and typed off a quick message.
9:15 AM - Where are you? I thought we agreed to meet at nine…
Pleased with her text, Hermione turned on the ringer for her phone and slipped it back into her purse. She wrapped her hands around the cup of coffee sitting in front of her and lifted it to her lips, taking a sip of the delicious beverage. Closing her eyes, she let out a sigh as she lowered the cup back to the table.
"Sorry I'm late. I got caught in traffic," Millie said, pulling up a seat and pulling Hermione back out of her coffee induced daze. "Need a refill?"
Hermione nodded her head and watched as Millie called over a waitress, placing her order. As she watched her friend, she thought back over what she had just said as she pulled up a seat. The two had chosen this exact coffeeshop because it was within equal walking distance from their respective flats.
"What do you mean you got caught in traffic? You only live half a block away," Hermione questioned, furrowing her brow at her friend. The immediate flush of color to her cheeks told Hermione more than she needed to know. Shaking her head, she put her hands up and laughed. "Nevermind. I don't want to know."
Millie laughed and playfully pushed Hermione's shoulder. "Nothing like that. Theo and I got into an argument this morning, which meant I was late leaving. I'm pretty sure he was going to be late to work too. Not that I care."
Millie crossed her arms over her chest and pouted her lower lip. Their argument had been something so stupid. She was still having difficulties wrapping her mind around exactly what had been said that managed to set both of them off. Maybe it was a lack of sleep or maybe it was something else. All she knew at that exact moment was that she was happy to be out of the flat for a little while.
"But you do care," Hermione said, placing a gentle hand on her friends shoulder. "Just like I care about the fight that Draco and I got into this morning."
"There must have been something in the air this morning," Millie laughed, shaking her head slightly. "Was it something so stupid that you can't pinpoint the exact reason the two of you started fighting?"
"How'd you know?" she replied, scrunching her brow. It was almost as though Millie was reading her mind at that exact moment. For the life of her, Hermione couldn't think of what had triggered their fight. All she could remember is that she stormed out of the flat without even a kiss goodbye, which was something the two of them never parted ways without.
"Because that's how my morning started too."
"Well, it sounds like we've got a lot to talk about."
As the two nodded in agreement, the waitress brought over another round of drinks and soon they were lost in conversation.
What would their husbands say if they knew the secrets that were shared during their weekly meetings? Would they be embarrassed at the details the two shared or would they be jealous of what the other was capable of?
Maybe someday the two households would sit down to a meal and discuss their exploits all together, making use of the secrets they knew about one another. Maybe that someday would be sooner than either couple would like to think.
. . . . . . . .
"Draco! Wait up!" Theo called after him, quickening his pace to catch up with him. Placing a firm hand on his shoulder, Theo noticed that he had headphones in his ears, which meant the fact that Theo had been calling after him for the last block didn't mean anything.
Draco turned to look at the mysterious person who was touching him and smiled, reaching up to pull the headphones out of his ear. "Hey, Theo. What's up?"
"Oh, not too much. Just chasing after a friend and yelling like an idiot at him because I didn't know he had earbuds in," he replied, shrugging his shoulders with a smile on his face.
Furrowing his brow, Draco carded a hand through his hair. "Sorry about that. I have a lot on my mind and just wanted to tune out the world for a few little while."
"Everything okay?" He watched as Draco thought about his answer to the question. When he asked the question, Theo didn't think it would elicit a complicated answer that required a major thought process.
Spotting an empty bench just up ahead, Draco motioned to it with his head. "Do you have some time to spare?"
"I take it the answer to my question is no," Theo said with a laugh. "Of course I've got some time."
The pair walked over the bench and took a seat. It had been a long time since the two of them had just chatted. Sure, they were old friends, but talking about issues wasn't the norm for male friends. The simple fact that Draco had even asked him was a very bold move.
A solemn silence fell between them as they sat there. Neither one certain of what they were going to discuss. Both of them housed enough secrets about the other's lives that anything they shared could destroy the possibility of happiness with their wives with one wrong slip of the tongue. Now, it was only a matter of time to see what secrets would be revealed this time.
. . . . . . . .
"What does he know?"
His voice was soft, barely above a whisper as he aimlessly ran his fingers through her hair that was splayed out over his chest as she laid next to him, resting her head on his chest. He felt her entire body tense and her breathing hitch quickly.
She leaned back and tilted her head up to look at him. There was a sadness in his eyes that struck her, causing her to feel as though she had been hit by a ton of bricks. She hated having this conversation because it always ended the same exact way.
Both of them would get mad and storm home to the exact people they had just been fighting about. The strain on their relationship was self-inflicted, and there was nothing that either of them were willing to do in order to relieve that stress.
Shockingly, for once, she wasn't the one to lead off the argument this time. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes as she spoke. "About as much as she probably does. Or have you opened up to her about everything recently?"
She pushed up off his chest and readjusted herself so she was sitting beside him with her arms crossed over her chest. She could see his frustration forming on his face as the gears turned in his mind, contemplating his answer. She took a deep breath and waited.
"Don't bring her into this," he huffed, pressing his head back into the pillow before moving into a seated position. Slowly, he turned his face to hers, a solemn grimace taking over the usual smile that she could find there.
"Why not?" she asked, cocking her head to the side as she trailed her eyes over his face.
"She has nothing to do with this right now," he replied through gritted teeth.
She tossed her head back with a laugh and threw her hands up in the air before scrubbing them over her face and running her fingers hair. Shaking her head, she smiled. "Of course she doesn't. She never does when this conversation comes up. Even when I can see her name flashing on your mobile."
Spotting his phone out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that the screen was lit and her name was display prominently across it. Inhaling sharply, he reached over and picked up the phone, holding the power button until the device shut off.
"That's just coincidence," he huffed.
"How is it a coincidence that she happens to call every single time we get together?" she replied, pushing off the bed to stand beside it. She crossed her arms over her chest and waited.
"You mean the same coincidence that happens when he texts you the whole time you're with me?"
"At least text messages can be easily ignored."
"And phone calls can't?"
"Not without there being more questions to answer when you get home. You can't keep lying to her forever."
"So are you saying he's so gullible that you'll be able to lie to him forever?"
"No," she shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. "That's not what I'm saying at all."
"What are you saying then? Because right now it sounds like you're defending your actions as well as your fucked up relationship with your husband. If it wasn't fucked up, then I'm fairly certain you wouldn't actually be here with me right now."
"And your relationship with your wife is so perfect, right? Pretty sure it's pretty damn fucked up too. Why do you even care what he knows anyways? If he knew, I wouldn't be here in front of you right now."
Scrubbing his hands over his face, he pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes, rubbing the roughly for a brief moment. He took a deep breath as he lowered his hands, allowing his eyes to meet hers. He saw a sadness there that broke his heart.
There was no denying the fact that he had strong feelings for the beautiful woman standing in front of him with tears welling up in the corner of her eyes. His thumb, however, was rubbing the cool metal of his wedding band on the underside of his ring finger. He had strong feelings for the woman with one to match, too.
"I ran into him after work the other day and something he said caught me off guard," he finally admitted, rubbing a hand over the top of his head.
"What did he say?" she asked, nervously pulling at the end of her ponytail.
"He feels like he's losing you."
She could feel the tears that had welled up in the corners of her eyes begin to roll down her cheeks. She hadn't meant to distance herself from him, but it just seemed to happen that way. Late nights at work. Pretend weekend business trips. Any excuse she could think of just to run away to the secret loft the two of them were holed up in right now, hiding away from reality.
"You know," she whispered softly, "she feels like she's losing you too."
"How do you-?" he started to ask before she cut him off mid-question.
"We meet for coffee once a week. We have since graduation," she said, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "You didn't realize that?"
"I guess I just never made the connection."
"So what are we going to do now?"
. . . . . . . .
11:30 PM - Are you awake?
11:33 PM - Barely. What do you want?
11:34 PM - To talk to you about what happened earlier…
11:35 PM - Your timing really sucks, you know? I can't talk about this now…
11:36 PM - Why not? I don't want us to go to bed angry…
11:37 PM - Because HE will be coming to bed any minute. Just say what you want to say and I'll answer you when I get to work.
11:38 PM - I'll just wait until I see you next I guess
11:39 PM - Well, I don't know when that'll be, so you might as well just take the time to type it out now
11:50 PM - Or you aren't going to tell me. Fine. I guess I'll talk to you whenever's convenient. Night
. . . . . . . .
Unsent message typed at 12:00 AM: I hate fighting with you. I can't help that sometimes I get jealous of the relationship that the two of you have. I know I don't have any right to get jealous, but I do. I'm sorry, I can't help the strong feelings that I have for you. I love you….
12:02 AM - I'm sorry. Sometimes my temper gets the better of me. Say you'll forgive me….
#dramione#thillie#dramione fanfiction#Dramione fic#thillie fanfiction#thillie fic#Theo Nott#theo x millie#millicent bulstrode#Hermione Granger#Draco Malfoy#draco x hermione#affair
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nine fucking lollipops
Summary: Phil hates sweets, but for some reason he keeps finding himself at the same exact candy shop. And it’s not because of the boy that works there. Definitely not.
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: none
The first time it happened, it was Chris’ fault:
Treading through the streets of London right after it had rained was not what Phil wanted to do with his morning. He wanted to be at home, in his lounge, reading some lame tweets or looking at meaningless Tumblr posts. He did not want to be headed to some stupid candy shop at ten in the morning on a Saturday.
He blames this entire endeavour on Chris; mostly because he was the one who asked Phil to go buy him candy in the first place, but also because it’s somehow always Chris’ fault. He wouldn’t even tell Phil why he wanted exactly nine fucking lollipops. The only explanation Chris had given was because he “needed them” and that he was “too busy” to get them himself. So, Phil, being the good friend he was had given in to Chris’ incessant begging and offered to go get the candy for him.
So here he was, on a Saturday morning right after a downpour, standing in front of a quaint little candy shop that was too far a walk for his liking.
Phil didn’t even like candy. In fact, he hated everything about it. He especially hated the really sweet kinds of candy, like gummies, or caramel, or any hard-candies, or practically anything that wasn’t milk chocolate. Milk chocolate was the only exception.
He took a deep breath and opened the door to the shop, a small ‘ding’ sounding above him as he pushed the door open. The sound had already started to piss him off, but what was even worse than the bell was the sickeningly sweet smell of sugar that filled his nose. He already had a burning hate for the sweets themselves, but the smell. It’s worse than the taste.
Phil tried his best to take as few breaths as possible so he didn’t have to smell anything more than he absolutely had to. His eyes wandered around the shop, quickly spotting the lollipops. He walked over to them and grabbed nine of them, being sure to get the worst flavor he could find. He may be doing this for Chris, but he sure as hell isn’t gonna do a good job of it.
Once he had the lollipops in his hand, he shuffled his way over to the counter and grunted in annoyance when he noticed that no one was there.
“Hello?” He called.
“Just a moment,” a voice called back after a moment of silence.
Phil grumbled and tapped his fingers against the counter a few times, clearly showing his irritation; not that anyone was there to notice. Phil took this moment to let his eyes wander across the different displays of fudge beneath the glass counter. He didn’t know how people could actually enjoy the chocolate gooeyness. Fudge was by far one of the sweetest candies (can fudge even be classified as a candy?) therefore one of the worst. Fudge was one of the very reasons Phil’s hate for sweets existed.
“Ah- sorry about that.”
Phil rolled his eyes, “I don’t ask for much in life, okay? So some decent service wou-” His words got stuck in his throat as he looked up at the person in front of him. He was gorgeous and cute. How is that even possible? There were gorgeous people and then there were cute people, no one categorized as both. At least not until now.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that there was stuff in the backroom that needed organized and-”
“No,” Phil cut off, “it’s alright, I’m just being a bit of a jerk.”
The boy chuckled, “I don’t think jerks normally admit that they’re being assholes.”
“Then I’m being a bit of an asshole,” Phil argued, yet a smile was gracing his lips.
“Nope,” the boy (Dan according to the nametag) said, “assholes don’t normally admit to being jerks.”
“Then I’m a jerkhole?” Phil said, mentally slapping himself the minute the words left his lips.
Dan laughed- genuinely laughed as if Phil had just told him the most hilarious joke (it was more humiliating if anything), “I think you’re just someone who has had a bad day.”
“Well you’re not wrong,” Phil agreed, “but that doesn’t give me an excuse to be rude.”
“I suppose not,” Dan said while he grabbed the lollipops and began scanning them, “so what happened?”
“My dumbass of a friend thought it was a good idea to call me at nine in the morning to ask for some lollipops. Fucking lollipops. Nine at that, which I’m not sure why, so don’t ask. But that’s besides the point. The point is he woke me up to ask for some candy. I hate candy to begin with- no offense- but it’s just- argh… friends,” Phil rambled, setting down some money on the counter in the process, “sorry, I’m ranting.”
“No, no, it’s okay, I asked,” Dan said, seeming intrigued by the story, “I was wondering why you picked the worst literal flavor of lollipops in the entire store, but now I know.” He added as he put said lollipops into a small bag and handed it to Phil.
“Yeah,” Phil sighed, grabbing the bag from Dan, “well, thanks for the candy, I guess.”
“No problem.”
~
The second time it happened, it was Phil’s fault:
Phil didn’t mean to end up back at the candy shop so soon. But he couldn’t get the brown-eyed-boy out of his mind. Of course, that wasn’t why he came back. The only reason he came back was because he was craving some chocolate. It had nothing to do with Dan. Obviously.
That was what he kept telling himself as he stood awkwardly in front of the door of the shop. If only he could somehow get himself to believe what he was saying, all would be well. But he couldn’t trick his mind into believing something that was obviously not true. The truth was that he was pining for Dan. Hard. Phil couldn’t deny that, no matter how hard he tried.
Oh well.
Phil opened the door of the shop and heard the little bell ding above him. The sound didn’t bother him as much as it had the last time, nor did the smell. There was almost something familiar about it.
“I thought you didn’t like candy,” was the first thing Dan said to him, “or does your friend need more lollipops?” That was the second.
Phil rolled his eyes, “I’m here to get myself some chocolate, thank you very much,” he said, “who knew the worker’s here could be so judgemental,” he added playfully.
Dan put his hands up in surrender, “I’m just wondering why you’re back so soon. Seriously, it’s been a day. What person who doesn’t like candy frequents a candy shop?”
“You’re right, you caught me. I’m only here to steal some things,” Phil muttered sarcastically.
“Some things? You’re very specific,” Dan said, “what could you possibly steal from a candy shop?” Your heart.
“Seriously, where the hell is your chocolate?” Phil asked suddenly, changing the subject. He had been searching ever since he got into the shop and he had been unsuccessful in finding any. The shop wasn’t even that big. It couldn’t have been any bigger than his lounge.
“It’s right behind you,” Dan laughed.
“How is that fair?” Phil groaned, “I already looked there.”
“Obviously not hard enough,” Dan said sarcastically.
Phil picked up a bar of chocolate from behind him and turned back to the counter. Phil did a double take when he saw Dan. He was leaning against the counter, his chin resting against his hands and his eyes staring at Phil.
“Find everything you were looking for?” Dan asked, a smug smile on his face.
“Yes,” Phil threw the candy bar at Dan, “no thanks to you.”
“That was rude.”
“I’m a rude person, remember?”
“Yeah, whatever,” Dan stuck his tongue out at Phil.
“What are you, five?” Phil asked, raising his eyebrows.
“I’m two, actually,” Dan stated, tossing the candy bar back at Phil once he scanned it, “a two year old that doesn’t know your name.”
“Subtle,” Phil smiled.
“I know, aren’t you proud?” Dan asked.
“The proudest,” Phil grumbled, “I’m Phil, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you, Phil.”
Phil smiled, “you too, Dan.” And despite only just formally meeting, Phil felt like he had known Dan his entire life. And he doesn’t think he’s ever been happier.
“See you around,” Dan said.
Phil waved in return and headed out the door. It wasn’t until he got home did he notice the number messily written on the wrapper of the chocolate bar.
~
The third time it happened, it was Dan’s fault:
A week later, Phil woke up to a new text from Dan (by wake up he means it was noon). They had been texting practically non-stop since Dan had given him his number. However, Phil had been feeling slightly neglected because he hadn’t seen Dan since that day, but judging by the text Dan had just sent Phil, that was about to change.
Dan: I’m bored @ work, come hang out with me?? pls? I’ll give u a free chocolate bar
Phil chuckled at the message. Dan sounded so desperate and bored that there was no possible way that he was going to ignore him. Though it’s not like he could judge Dan for the way he sounded because Phil was also just as desperate to see him.
Phil: I’ll be over in about an hour
Dan: thank god
Phil didn’t remember doing much after that besides getting ready and heading out the door of his apartment. Only about a half hour had passed by the time Phil was at the candy shop. He may have gotten overly excited to see Dan and rushed a lot faster than he predicted. He didn’t even know he could get to the candy shop that fast.
Whatever, it didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact that he was standing at the door again. And even though it was only the third time he had stood at the front of the shop, he felt like it was the millionth. When he opened the door, he wasn’t repulsed by either the bell or the smell. In fact, he welcomed them with open arms. He was content. The shop was familiar and so was the person inside.
“Took you long enough,” Dan said sarcastically, “did you run here?”
“No,” Phil said, though his breath was coming out in short pants, “I just overestimated how long it would take to get here.”
“Clearly,” Dan commented.
“Well now that I’m here, what do you want to do?” Phil asked, “I don’t know how I can really entertain you.”
“I thought we’d just talk,” Dan said, “and if nothing else, at least you’re something pretty to look at.”
“Thanks,” Phil could feel blush rising to his cheeks, “you’re not too bad yourself.”
“Of course I’m not,” Dan said boastfully.
Phil shook his head disapprovingly, “you’re so full of yourself.”
“Maybe so, but you love me.”
Phil shrugged, “obviously.”
-
-
-
-
-
Phil never did find out what Chris wanted with those lollipops.
a/n: I needed a break from writing Caught Up in a Dream... so I wrote a cute and fluffy one shot about a candy shop instead,, this is really kind of choppy but I wasn’t really aiming for quality, just for fun
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The Man Behind The Mask
A/N: I wrote this about a year ago for Wattpad and I’ve decided it belongs on Tumblr Description: What happens when you meet Warning: None Word count: 1.5k
Y/N’s PoV ~~~~~~~~~~
I stood near the door at Lex Luther’s party, suddenly everyone’s heads turned to the entrance as the sound of camera flashes filled the air. An older handsome guy in a rich suit stepped out the black car. “Who’s that?” I asked my friend Jennifer who I came with.
“You seriously need to get out more, miss reporter that’s Bruce Wayne.” Jennifer told me as I admired his good looks.
~some time later ~
“Ok I’m getting tired should we go?” I complained to Jen.
“You haven’t interviewed anyone other than Lex Luther.”
“But Clark is here, so he’s is already interviewing people. What’s the point of having everything twice?”
“You know we can go. If you interview Bruce Wayne.”
“What? No.”
“F/N I’ve seen you eyeing him since the moment he walked in, just talk to him.”
“How do I even start?”
“Just introduce yourself and ask for an interview or something, I don’t know… Wait it looks like you won’t have to he’s coming over.”
“Wait what?”
“Bye.”
“Bye I guess.” I said as Jennifer walked away and Bruce Wayne started to approach me.
“Hello I’m Bruce Wayne.” He said with his deep charming voice.
“Nice to meet you Mr Wayne, my name is f/n l/n.”
“Pleasures mine Miss l/n.”
~~~~~~~~~~ Bruce’s PoV ~~~~~~~~~~
“Alfred she drove off with the drive.” I said through the secret mic.
“There’s nothing you can do now. Go socialise, maybe you’ll bring someone home. Again in your dreams Alfred.” Alfred said threw the earpiece trailing off like he walked away from the mic after saying Go socialise. I looked around and noticed a stunning young woman standing in the corner with who I persumed was her friend.
~~~~~~~~~~ Y/N’s PoV ~~~~~~~~~~ “Mr Wayne I’ve actually wanted to approach you and ask you some questions.” I started, making Bruce roll his eyes.
“Can’t have a normal conversation with anyone here can you? Everyone is a damn reporter.”
“I’m sorry Mr Wayne, I bet you have been asked a million questions today. Truly I’m tired so if you don’t want another exact same article written than just refuse.”
“Well then, I refuse.”
“Very well Mr Wayne, thank you for saving me from more writing.”
“Don’t mention it.” He smirked. “So you’re a reporter?”
“Yeah, yeah I am.”
“Well you’re the kindest reporter I’ve ever met.”
“Thank you Mr Wayne.”
“Bruce”
“I’m sorry?”
“Bruce call me Bruce.
"Well ok then Bruce how come you left Gotham for once?” I said exaggerating the Bruce.
“I got invited here.”
“Well that’s a good enough reason” I said, our conversation then became random as we talked I could see Jen chatting up some guy across the room. I got a text and quickly checked my phone. ‘Jen: Looks like you two are hitting it off. This guy is taking me home see you. Have fun :p’ I smirked to myself after reading the message.
“What’s so funny?” Bruce asked approaching me with two martinis in his hands.
“Nothing just a text from my friend.” I replied.
“Okay, here you go.” He said handing me a glass.
“Oh Bruce I can’t.” I said apologetically.
“Why?” He asked.
“I need to drive home.” I explained.
“One drink won’t hurt.”
“I guess.” I said before taking a sip.
“May I have this dance?” Bruce asked when the song changed. We danced for what seemed like forever after the first song we sort of just hugged swaying from side to side along with the slow music, each of us drink in hand. I realised I was still on that first martini while Bruce was now drinking scotch and soda, I was unable to keep track of how many drinks he already had and when I let go of him saying I need to go to the bathroom I realised he was struggling to stand on his own. When I came back I found Bruce leaning on the wall for support.
“Hey Bruce I’m gonna go home because I have work tomorrow in the morning and it’s already one so I’ll be able to have at least four hours of sleep before work. But I had fun tonight, thank you for making this party enjoyable.” I explained.
“Why don’t I go home with you?” Drunk Bruce said slowly.
“Bruce I don’t think that’s a good- actually ok.” I said leading Bruce to my car.
I woke up and checked the time “shit” I said under my breath when I realised the time was 8:15 and I start work at 9 am. I must of forgot to turn my alarm on, I got up and Bruce? Why is Bruce here? Then it all came flooding back to me, the party and how drunk Bruce Wayne got. I crept round my house making myself breakfast and taking a shower. As I was getting ready to walk out I dropped my phone on the floor and said rather loudly “Shit.” Then next thing I heard was a moan. Great I woke him up I thought, my plan was to leave him here with a note telling him to show his way out when he wakes up but he was already awake.
“Where am I?” He moaned.
“You Mr Wayne, are right now on my couch.” I said in quite a cocky voice.
“Y/N right?” Bruce asked.
“Yes. Now I need to leave to work. There’s aspirin in the bathroom on the side, its quite obvious, take some for your headache and show your self out.”
“So what you’re leaving me here? All alone.”
“ Yes Bruce we are not all millionaires.”
“Very funny.”
“I’d like to think so,” I said sarcastically. “Okay I need to go, help your self to food ect. Bye” I said before rushing out the door. I felt quite wired leaving a topless Bruce Wayne all alone in my house, to be honest I had a small crush on him, I mean it is Bruce Wayne. But he’s just a playboy that’s stayed out of the spotlight for the past fifteen years or so.
~
I was writing a article when one of my best friends Lois Lane came up to me.
“What’s up?” I said turning round in my chair to face her.
“A little birdy told me you went home with someone last night.”
“And who would say that?” I asked her.
“Um someone who was at the party.” Clark said after he came over and hugged Lois from the back.
“Clark.” I moaned.
“What, it’s true you went home with someone.” Clark said.
“Yes, but it’s not what you think.” I tried to explain myself.
“Then what is it?” Lois asked.
“The guy got drunk so I simply took him to mine and let him sleep on my couch so he doesn’t have a car accident.” I explained.
“Well that’s boring.” Lois stated.
“I’m sorry that I don’t have a perfect life with my boyfriend who’s super awesome.” I said with emphasis and they both gave me a look saying shut up.
“So you’re saying me you aren’t planning on seeing him again, I mean it’s Bruce Wayne.”
“Yay, the old but still hot millionaire playboy.” I said sarcastically.
“Admit it you like him.” Lois said as Clark turned around and started talking to someone else.
“Maybe, but he probably doesn’t remember my name by now. Anyway how’s you two?”
“Good, never better I gues.” Lois simply said.
“Y/N this is for you.” A co-worker said handing me a envelope. I was confused, it was fancy and I don’t remember the last time I got a letter.
“That looks fancy.” Lois said.
“I know.” I said starting to open the letter.
“What does it say?” Clark said as he turned around.
“Really the both of you are acting like teen girls.”
“I don’t think that’s what it says.” Lois said.
“Fine it says: Y/N, I had a great time last night. Sorry i got drunk and thank-you for saving me from what probably would be a car crash and letting me sleep on your couch. I would like to return the favour by taking you out to dinner. My car will be waiting outside for you when you finish work. If you don’t want to join me for dinner please just tell my driver. -B.Wayne”
“So are you gonna go?” Lois asked.
“I don’t know.” I said even though I wanted to say yes.
“Come on, you have to.” Clark said like a teen girl.
“Fine, if it will make you happy.” I said.
“So I’m guessing the papers will be blank tomorrow seeing that the three of you are gossiping.” Perry White said.
“Sorry Mr White.” We said almost in sync.
~
I walked out the building and saw a black car. I approached it and the black window rolled down revealing Bruce in a dark blue suite.
“Care to join me? He asked.
Part 2
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The Revelation of All Things - 50. In which she gets by with a little help (from her friends)
Read the full fic on AO3.
Read on Tumblr (desktop)
Bull and Varric watched from their regular table as the Inquisitor emerged from Josephine's office into the main hall. Bull raised his hand to get her attention, but she didn't look his way at all. Instead, she walked quickly to her own door and disappeared through it, her posture stiff and her face emotionless. If he were anyone else, he probably wouldn't have noticed a thing. But he wasn't anyone else.
"Hmmmmm..."
Varric nodded. "Yeah. Wonder what's up?"
Figures that the dwarf would notice, too.
"Don't know. But here comes someone who does."
Unlike the Inquisitor, Leliana made a beeline for the table where he and Varric were enjoying their evening meal.
"Bull. Just who I was looking for. Come with me."
"Uh, sure thing, Red."
Leliana barely glanced at him as she passed by. Bull and Varric shared a mutual look of surprise, but Bull quickly got up and followed the spymaster up to her rookery. When they reached the top, Bull stood patiently as she sent her agents out. Finally, she crossed her arms and let out a small huff.
"I need your assistance," she said quietly, mindful of the center opening into the library below.
"Sure. What's up?" he replied in a similar low tone.
"I'm not sure, yet. Josephine has been trying to reinstate her family's ability to trade in Orlais, but someone has killed her couriers and destroyed the paperwork. I have uncovered a few leads, but the more I find, the more worried I become that someone will make an attempt on Josie's life. I don't want to worry her prematurely, but I would be immensely grateful for another set of eyes and ears on the ground here in Skyhold. And if you see or hear of anything useful from your Ben-Hassrath contacts, let me know."
"Absolutely. Are we talking a noble with a grudge or professional assassins?"
"Everything points to assassins. I'm not sure if they've been hired by someone else or if they themselves have a grudge against the Montilyet family."
"Hmmmm... I'll send out feelers within the network. Between the two of us, I'm sure we can track this down."
Leliana nodded. "Thank you, Bull. Your help is appreciated."
Bull chuckled. "Hey, that's what you pay me for, right? I'll be honest, though. This wasn't the conversation I expected."
"Oh? How so?"
"Varric and I saw the Inquisitor leave your little tea party. She didn't look so happy. I mean, to us. No one else would have noticed, but..."
"Ahhh... yes. Well, that's something else entirely. We have been receiving some... unpleasant messages from various citizens about the impropriety of the rumored affair between our Inquisitor and her Commander. The whispered talk in the back rooms and dark hallways all over Thedas is worse. She did not take it well."
"What are they saying?"
"Here. You can read them yourself if you like."
Leliana handed him a small stack of parchment. As he quickly skimmed the notes, he found himself cursing under his breath. The vitriol directed at the Commander in particular for "sullying himself" with a "knife-eared upstart" sickened him. Some even went so far as to compare him to Andraste's betrayer and husband, Maferath, and warned that the Commander would betray their Herald of Andraste soon enough. Many more, however, were directly degrading to the Inquisitor's status as an elf and a mage.
"These people insane," he muttered under his breath.
Leliana laughed. "Quite possibly. The conspiracy theories and ravings of sick people never cease to amaze me. It's one reason I have always strived to remain in the shadows. And the reality of an organization this large is that we could very well be torn apart from within, so it is best to keep them around as a reminder of what we hope to avoid."
"Anyone who knows her - anyone who knows the Commander for that matter - would never say such shitty things."
"Which is why it is important that she continue to travel around Thedas closing rifts and uniting people against Corypheus. In the end, we do not need these crazy townsfolk to believe in us. We need the average person and the powerful to recognize and join with us. Before our alliance with Orlais, we would occasionally receive a scathing note from this or that noble, but since the Empress offered her support, those messages have largely turned into whispers behind closed doors. The rich and powerful know where their bread is buttered, and right now, it is with us."
"I guess." Bull narrowed his one good eye. "In that spirit, perhaps you wouldn't object to a possible alliance with the Qunari, then?"
Usually, Leliana was too good at the Game to let her emotions show. His offer, however, clearly took her by surprise.
"I... I don't know. What kind of alliance?"
Bull shrugged. "Don't know, yet. There've been flutters among the Ben-Hassrath about it. I know they'll require a show of good faith. I just didn't think it'd be something you'd entertain. But maybe you wouldn't object if I brought it up with the boss?"
"I... don't suppose there's any harm in at least hearing what they have to say. I've never heard of the Qunari allying with anyone before."
Bull gave her a smug grin. "That's because they never have. Corypheus is bad news. They know that as well as anyone."
"Corypheus is a threat to their hope of ever conquering Tevinter."
Bull laughed. In truth, he wasn't sure of the motivation behind such an offer, but he wasn't in a position to question it.
"Well, yes. That's part of it."
"Run it by the Inquisitor. If she approves, we'll talk more about it."
Bull nodded and turned to leave, but Leliana's voice stopped him.
"Will you let the other companions know that the Inquisitor and Commander will be out for the next few days on Inquisition business?"
Bull threw Leliana a lewd look over his shoulder as he descended the stairs. She smirked at him in return.
By the time he reached the great hall, Dorian had joined Varric at the table. Bull sat down at his plate and started eating again. The other two just stared at him until Varric loudly and deliberately cleared his throat.
"Well?"
"The Inquisitor is going to be gone for the next few days on Inquisition business."
The dwarf gave him a shrewd look. "On 'business'? Without her companions?"
"Yup." Bull paused, reveling in the reveal. "And with the Commander."
Dorian let out a low whistle. "Well, well, well. Who would've thought he'd work up the nerve? I wonder where they're going." He started to stand. "Perhaps I should go give the Commander some pointers..."
Bull put his hand on the mage's shoulder and gently pushed him back down into his chair. "She and the Commander are reviewing the work of a blacksmith near Honnleath. They'll be taking a few soldiers with them. I wouldn't call it a romantic trip, Dorian."
The mage tinged red at the contact but said nothing. Since their last trip together, tensions between himself and the Tevinter mage were now at critical levels, but Dorian had yet to make a move. Either it would end in mayhem or in the bedroom. Bull would prefer the latter - not least because the former might upset their Inquisitor. Regardless, he decided to leave the teasing for later. They had more important matters to deal with tonight. Dorian brushed Bull's hand off his shoulder and made a petulant face.
"Spoilsport. I could have gotten at least four or five blushes out of the Commander before he threw me out of his office."
Varric snickered but then turned almost immediately back to Bull with a more serious expression. "What else?"
"She's been getting some hate mail. Pretty awful stuff. Some of it about her and the Commander... Rumors and such. I'm sure you can relate. Not everyone loves your fiction as much as Cassandra."
"Well. Shit. I certainly can. My editor usually keeps most of it out of my sight, though. It takes some time to get desensitized to things like that. I'm surprised Leliana even showed her the letters."
"I don't think she saw them. Just heard about them. But it's something she'll need to get used to as a public figure. Sheltering her from these things won't help her."
He firmly believed it, but it didn't make it any easier to take. Bull sometimes wished the Inquisitor had a thicker skin. Then again, she wouldn't be her if she did.
The three of them fell into a solemn silence, each chewing through their dinners slowly, wrapped up in their own thoughts. After a few minutes, Hawke approached, plate in hand, and looked them over. Her bow-shaped lips contorted in displeasure. Bull just shrugged at her as Dorian let out a deep sigh and took a long drink from his wine.
"I'd ask if someone died, but in our line of work, the answer is far too likely to be yes," she joked as she sat down next to Varric and then frowned at the complete lack of response. "Alright. I'll bite. What's up? I don't think I've ever seen the three of you this quiet. Either you're planning something really big - in which case, I want in - or something really depressing just happened - and I should probably know about it whether I want to or not."
Varric filled her in on the conversation. There was a bit of a lull before Varric took a sarcastic poke at Hawke.
"You've never had to deal with people who hated you before, have you?"
"Oh, no! Not at all. A Circle full of hostile mages and templars, Qunari, Carta, Coterie, various and sundry evil doers whose plots and schemes I've ruined, Chantry Mothers, a decimated city full of angry people..." She paused, but when no one spoke, she continued airily, "Plenty of people said nasty things about me, but I never believe any of it. Deep down, I'm sure they all really adore me. Cullen did. If I can turn a stodgy templar like him, I must be some kind of badass hero or something. Still glad that man finally came to his senses in the end. He's a good sort, even if he does have a stick up his ass most of the time." She leaned back and looked at them all in turn. "But if you're all so concerned for your lovely Inquisitor, why aren't you upstairs cheering her up?"
After a long pause, Dorian stood suddenly. "Excellent question, my dear." He picked up his bottle of wine and a couple of glasses off the table then looked around expectantly. "Well?"
Bull shrugged. Just because she needed to learn how to deal with it didn't mean she needed to do it alone.
"I'm in. You two coming?"
Hawke held up her hands. "I wouldn't want to intrude on family bonding time."
"You've got a shit ton of experience with this sort of thing, though," Bull reminded her.
Hawke seemed to waver as she considered Bull's point. Varric finally got up and grabbed her by the elbow.
"Come on. If we don't cheer her up, she'll be stewing on this all night. Grab another bottle or three, Sparkler. If we're gonna do this, we should do it up right."
Dorian gave a little cheer and pulled another few bottles off a nearby table. They finagled their way past the guards and took the stairs up to the Inquisitor's quarters. After a short but heated debate on whether they should knock, Bull pounded his fist on the door. They heard nothing until a small voice called out from the other side.
"Who's there?"
"Everyone, apparently," Dorian said jovially. "But more specifically, it's me, Varric, Bull, and Hawke. You looked a little down earlier, so we've come to cheer you up... with wine!"
The lock clicked, and the Inquisitor's tired face appeared. She smiled at them weakly, and it was apparent to all that she'd shed a few tears at least. Bull felt a little twinge of regret that they hadn't thought to come up sooner. What the woman needed was a distraction. If the Commander couldn't provide that tonight, then it was up to them.
"Well, as long as you have wine..."
She backed away and waved her hand for them to ascend the stairs into her quarters. As soon as they crested the stairs, Hawke gave a long, low whistle and threw herself down on the couch in front of the fire.
"Fancy digs, Inquisitor! Must be pretty lonely up here on your own, though."
The Inquisitor motioned for everyone to sit. Varric sat on the couch with Hawke, and Dorian lounged on the rug in front of the fire. Bull took a spot toward the back against the wall next to the fire place. The Inquisitor sat on the floor in front of the couch. From his spot, Bull could see everyone's face except Dorian's.
"It took some getting used to - the being alone. Those first few weeks in Haven, I thought I might go stir crazy in that tiny cabin by myself. But I've adjusted fairly well. We're often out in the field anyway. The large windows and tall ceilings here help, too."
Bull considered her words. He knew a little about the Dalish, but he hadn't really stopped to consider how the different customs might affect her.
"You were never alone in your clan?" he queried.
"Not really, no. Not like you mean. I... kept to myself more often than the others, but even then, we all slept near each other. Having a big space like this to myself is quite out of the ordinary. Half my clan could fit in here. It does have its upsides, though. I've even developed a taste for shemlen beds."
Dorian made a face as he handed each of them a glass of wine. "I can't imagine sleeping on the ground all the time. And around a whole group of people? It's bad enough when we're traveling around the back hills of Ferelden and Orlais. Give me a fluffy bed with plush velvet pillows, a full wine cellar and possibly a nice bubble bath."
Varric chuckled. "Yes, Dorian. We're all aware of your idea of the 'bare necessities.'" Dorian merely gave Varric a disdainful look, so the dwarf continued, "I don't mind sleeping on the ground. Maker knows I had to do enough of it while wandering around Sundermount with Hawke."
"Hey! I never made you come along. You were there of your own free will... unlike here, I understand. Something about being conscripted - detained and questioned about a certain dashing warrior's whereabouts?"
Varric shook his head. "The things I do for you..."
Hawke looked around at them with a smug look. "See? Unmitigated adoration."
Bull watched a small smile play at the corners of the Inquisitor's mouth as the two friends bantered back and forth. But she had yet to truly smile, and the glass of wine Dorian provided earlier sat untouched on the floor.
"I'm not sure how you do it, Hawke... stay so positive in the face of such darkness."
"My dearest Inquisitor, never mistake sarcasm and arrogance for positivity. I've got the former in large supply, but positivity? That's a hard commodity to come by. I have to admit, I'm impressed by your fortitude. Running the Inquisition - an organization this large - with so much responsibility... I'm not sure how you manage to stay sane."
The Inquisitor finally gave them a real, albeit small, smile. "It is a bit terrifying, isn't it? But I've made good friends here. My advisors and companions have been the real driving force behind the success of the Inquisition. And, of course, people like you and Stroud - strong warriors sacrificing themselves once again for the greater good. The Inquisition couldn't succeed without you - without all of you."
Hawke blinked once and then broke into a wide grin. "That was quite amazing what you did there. We came up here to cheer you up, and suddenly you're giving us a pep talk. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were buttering us up for some awful battle in the desert wastelands of Orlais... ... oh, wait..."
She winked at the Inquisitor, and Bull laughed. Hawke was certainly a larger than life personality, but in retrospect, he found himself glad that the job of Inquisitor hadn't fallen in her lap. Their Inquisitor might be quiet sometimes. She might have moments of doubt and introspection. But she had an inherent kindness held up by an iron will. She never pushed her advantage unless absolutely necessary. It wasn't his style, per se, but people like him and Hawke didn't need to be in charge of organizations like this one.
And your fellow followers of the Qun would probably exile you for even thinking like that.
He should be figuring out weaknesses and finding ways to exploit the kingdoms of Ferelden and Orlais. He shouldn't care about who was in charge of the Inquisition as long as that person eliminated the threat - Corypheus. The Qun allowed no personal thoughts, only honor and duty to the exclusion of all else. He was supposed to be working to help these lost people comprehend "the way." Perhaps he'd been a spy among the unenlightened for too long. He'd begun to think like them, and even more troubling, he wasn't nearly as upset about it as he should be.
"Don't let her fool you, Snowflake," Varric warned. "She's just using that sarcasm to cover up her glaring insecurities. Hawke's not as invincible as she seems. You should have seen her after Fenris left-"
"Maker's balls, Varric! That was a special circumstance and has long since been resolved, as you well know. A minor blip in the heroic history of Marian Hawke."
Varric's eyes positively twinkled. "How is Fenris, by the way? Still as broodingly handsome and gratingly rude as ever, I expect."
"As if I'd be with anyone who wasn't at least as pretty as me... Fenris is fine, thank you. It's only taken... what? A month or two for you to ask?"
"Well, I never know what to expect. You're on, then you're off, then you're on-"
Hawke leaned back on the couch, crossed her arms in front of her, and gave them all an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "One time. One time he ran away from our relationship-"
"-for three years-" Varric inserted.
"-because he'd been hurt! And anyway, you're just jealous."
Varric let out a sarcastic laugh. "Me? Jealous of that depressing elf?"
Bull heard the note of bitterness in Varric's tone and filed it away for later while he watched the Inquisitor's expression go from mildly amused and slightly uncomfortable to rapt attention in a split second. No one else seemed to notice, not even the typically observant dwarf... although Varric clearly had some issues to work through where Marian Hawke was concerned. Dorian turned his head to look back at Bull with a devilish grin on his face.
"This is quite entertaining," he murmured with a quirk of his perfectly manicured brow.
And Varric wasn't through, yet. "You're kidding, right? If you're still together, where is Fenris now?"
"He's got his own things to take care of. Besides, you know he would die to protect me. I'd rather not give him the opportunity."
"He's just ok with that? The Fenris I know would be livid that you left him behind."
Hawke raised an eyebrow and turned to look at the others. "Oh, hello everyone! Don't mind us! Same conversation, different day. Here I thought we'd cheer up the Inquisitor, maybe eat some fancy treats from snooty nobles... instead you get an earful about my love life. At least you do look a little cheered up. Glad to know my relationship foibles are entertaining. Got any chocolates?"
The Inquisitor smiled. "No chocolates, but I do have cookies."
She got up to retrieve a large, ornate tin from her desk and passed it around. There was a brief, awkward lull as everyone chewed on Orlesian caramel cookies. Finally the Inquisitor spoke.
"I don't mean to pry, but... you're with an elf?"
Hawke gave her a confused look. "Yes, Fenris is an elf. He was a slave in Tevinter for a long time. I helped free him from his master, Danarius."
"Oh. I didn't know that. I've only read bits and pieces of the Tale of the-"
"Don't bother," Hawke interrupted with a wave of her hand. "That book is not even close to an accurate depiction of what happened. But Varric likes to take 'artistic liberties' with the truth. Be careful or you, too, might end up a celebrity on the run."
Varric rolled his eyes. "You're so dramatic, Hawke. You know I just want you to be happy..."
Hawke reached over and pulled him into a bear hug. "Oh, there's my trusty dwarf!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Varric grumbled, but he was grinning ear to ear. Bull chuckled to himself at their complex relationship. Except for the deeply buried undertone of sexual tension, they reminded him strongly of a Qunari relationship. For the Qunari, sex and relationships existed in completely separate spheres.
Bull reflected briefly on Dorian. Even if their game of cat and mouse ended with casual sex at some point, the idea of sleeping with someone he knew - someone he worked with on a regular basis - was decidedly un-Qunari. And as with his shifting thoughts, that didn't bother him as much as it should. On a superficial level, he understood that he should probably analyze those thoughts a bit harder, but he couldn't seem to summon the strength for it. So, he shook his head as if to clear the thoughts away and focused on the Inquisitor once more.
"Do you ever find that being with him makes things... harder for you? Do you feel like you have fewer opportunities?"
Hawke furrowed her brow. "I don't quite follow..."
"I mean... do people treat you differently because he's there? Because he's... not human."
Hawke smiled and slowly nodded her head in understanding. "Ahhh... I see what you're asking. Do I feel slighted or that I've missed out on opportunities from bigoted, idiotic people because I'm with an elf?"
The Inquisitor blushed. "I... sorry. You don't have to answer."
"No. I'm happy to let you know that I've never cared what others thought of my relationship with Fenris-" she shot a glare at Varric "-or what 'opportunities' I might miss. I love him. He's far more valuable to me than a few lost jobs or whispered insults. And the advantage of being a warrior is no one insults you to your face unless they're looking for a fight. It's a part of life." She paused and then added with a small smile, "If I know Cullen at all - which I do - he doesn't care, either. He doesn't do anything by halves. If he said he's in, he's all in. Educating some backward ass hats on how to treat his woman won't bother him a bit."
The Inquisitor's face flushed deep red, and she looked down at her hands. "Um... yes. Thank you. I appreciate your candor. Still... it's hard knowing I could potentially harm him by simply existing and being with him. I'm not used to shem- human culture, but the disparagement of elves seems universal."
Dorian gave her a sheepish half smile. "I wish I could argue, but as you've just heard, my own country actively keeps elves as slaves. The best I can offer is that there are many in Tevinter who would like to see that change."
"And there are people like you, Snowflake," Varric added softly, "making that change happen... even if it is gradual. What you did in Orlais - Briala being named the first elven nobility - that will have consequences far and wide. You are actively making the world a better place for elves with every move you make. If... when you defeat Corypheus, you'll secure your place as another elven hero of Thedas... I'll make sure of that."
Varric grinned, and the Inquisitor laughed. "I knew you were writing all this down!"
"I'll at least have a cameo appearance, right?" Hawke queried. "Don't write me as too tragic should the worst befall me in this siege."
Varric laughed at Hawke's long-suffering tone and the hand she'd thrown against her forehead with dramatic flourish. Then he shuddered.
"Don't jinx it, Hawke!"
Bull let his mind drift as the conversation turned to more mundane topics. They spoke a little about the siege and then more about some odd happenings around Skyhold involving a barrel full of daggers and some missing cheese. Then the Inquisitor asked for a story, and Hawke and Varric took some time to argue about which story to tell. Eventually they settled on the Kirkwall Rebellions because the Inquisitor needed to know how "badass" her Commander really was. And indeed, if even a portion of the story were true, Bull had to credit the Commander with his bravery in the face of a mad woman. Varric had settled into full storyteller mode, his voice undulating with the emotion of the story, and Bull relaxed into the stone wall as he watched the others watch Varric.
"Meredith ordered the templars to kill Hawke, but Cullen refused and demanded the Knight-Commander step down. When he took his stand, he had no way of knowing whether his fellow templars would back him up. They very well could have followed Meredith's orders to kill all of us. But he stepped right between Hawke and Meredith, raised his sword against his Knight-Commander and shouted, 'You'll have to go through me!' It was chaos for a while after that, but the Commander fought with us valiantly."
Bull chuckled slightly at the proud but shy look on the Inquisitor's face as she listened to Varric and Hawke sing his praises. If Cullen were here, he'd be blushing wildly and arguing that his stand had come far too late - that he should have seen through Meredith sooner. But this was Varric and Hawke's show for the Inquisitor, and they were going to play it up as much as possible.
"Meredith was reduced to a toxic statue, and Cullen, now leading the templars, let us go in peace. He spent most of his time working with one of our other companions, Aveline, to rebuild Kirkwall until the Seeker tapped him a few years later to join her little start-up organization. Something about an Inquisition..."
The Inquisitor laughed. "And you told her you didn't have any idea how to find the Champion. So they made me Inquisitor instead."
Hawke shook her head. "You're the one with the glowy mark that closes rifts. I just defended a city against a Qunari invasion and took out a mad Knight-Commander."
"Among other things," Varric mumbled.
The Inquisitor laughed again and looked around her, resting her eyes on each of them in turn. Bull suddenly felt naked under her gaze, as if he had no defenses. He averted his eye, unsure of why he was reacting that way.
"Thank you all so much. This has been a lovely evening... just the distraction I needed, as you all seemed to already know. I'm not sure what I did to deserve such friends."
"Besides saving our asses on a regular basis?"
The Inquisitor grinned at Varric's question. "Yes, besides that."
"I'll write up a list," he promised.
They all laughed and then stood to go. Bull was the last to wish her a goodnight. As he was about to walk out her door, though, a small hand on his arm stopped him.
"Thank you again, Bull. Also, I'll be back in a few days if there's anything you'd like to discuss."
Bull was stunned. He literally couldn't think of anything to say except, "Uh... what?"
"You just seem like you have something on your mind. If you'd like to talk about it, I'm happy to listen."
Bull wracked his brain for any way she could have possibly talked with Leliana before he'd come up the stairs. Perhaps a note? But why would the spymaster have sent a note about that?
"Uh, sure boss. Just have a question for you. Nothing special."
"OK. I'll come find you when I get back."
"Sounds good. I'll... uh... let you get to sleep now. Safe travels."
"Thank you. Good night."
Bull walked out and waved nonchalantly as she closed and locked the door behind him. Inside, however, he was reeling from her pointed comment. Was he that easy to read? He'd never been before. Varric had mentioned something about her uncanny ability to sense when someone was hiding something, but he wasn't really hiding anything. He couldn't hide what he didn't know.
But he did suspect the Qunari were up to something. Perhaps that's what she'd picked up on. That meant that he had a tell, though. A Ben-Hassrath couldn't afford tells, especially ones the leader of the Inquisition could suss out. The Iron Bull frowned and knew he wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight as he sifted through anything and everything that might have given him away.
#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dragon age fanfic#dragon age fanfiction#da:i#my fanfiction#revelation of all things#revelations#the iron bull#iron bull#evana needs a little help sometimes#that's what friends are for#Evana approves#varric tethras#dorian pavus#marian hawke#marian I'm too pretty to die hawke#varric and hawke#troat
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Out of the Frying Pan (15/?)
Killian blinked, mouth opening slightly in the sheer disbelief that someone wouldn’t want her. “You can’t think that,” he said softly.
“I’m pretty positive I just told you I did,” she muttered, laughing again and meeting his eyes with a small smile on her face. “That’s why I ran. Why I told you to wait and had some sort of complete mental breakdown in the hallway. Because I wanted. And I thought maybe you did too. And the last time that happened it all blew up in my face.” Emma held his gaze, but her smile faltered for a moment when he didn’t answer immediately. “Anyway,” she said quickly. “I just thought you’d want an explanation or something.”
AN: I am running out of appropriate adjectives with which to heap praise on @laurnorder, but know that she continues to be fantastic and read all my words.
Living the life on Ao3 and tag’ed up on Tumblr.
His phone buzzed in his pocket as he walked into the network offices, barely stopping long enough to flash his ID badge at the man sitting behind the security desk. He ignored it. It was probably Robin or Regina or someone demanding he be somewhere or do something or pretend to be excited about having to film this stupid show and act like he wasn’t nervous about coming face to face with Emma Swan.
Killian wasn’t sure he’d ever been this early to a taping. He almost wished Regina was there just so he could lord that fact over her for several hours, but then he’d probably have to answer questions about the expansion and Emma and he wasn’t entirely certain he could handle that.
His phone buzzed again and he groaned, pushing open the door to the studio to find it as empty as he expected it to be. Killian leaned against the counter in his station and yanked the phone out of his jacket pocket, only glancing down at the screen as he swiped his thumb across it.
It buzzed again as he hit the messages icon and Killian saw a name pop up he hadn’t seen in two weeks.
Henry was texting him.
Hi! I know I haven’t talked in awhile, but mom said it was ok again and I just wanted to wish you good luck before today.
Although don’t beat my mom if you can. She needs to win to get her timeslot back and she really wants that.
And maybe don’t tell her I told you that. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to talk about that.
Killian laughed, shaking his hand as the phone buzzed again in his hand. And you should definitely come with us to Granny’s later. Because the onion rings are really good. And mom said she was going to ask you and I know she wants you to come.
Don’t tell her I said that either .
Killian’s head was spinning. Or he was spinning. Or maybe the room was spinning. He wasn’t certain of the specifics, all he knew was his eyes had glazed over when he read the final text, gaze lingering on she wants you to come and wondering why Emma hadn’t said anything herself.
Probably because she’s still scared, some stupid, reasonable voice said in the back of his head and Killian couldn’t help the sigh he let out at that idea.
This was a disaster.
He hadn’t answered Henry. Killian’s fingers practically flew across the phone screen, typing back a reply and hoping he sounded like some sort of mature, responsible adult that Emma could trust with her son. Or with her.
I can’t say I’ll lie to your mom if she asks, but between the two of us, I’d also like to come to Granny’s later tonight. If only to test out your onion ring theory . And don’t text me while you’re in school.
It took two seconds for his phone to buzz and Killian bit back the smile he knew was threatening to take over his entire face.
How’d you know I was in school?
I know how time works. And you’re in school now. Put the phone away or I’ll definitely tell your mom that .
Henry didn’t text him back.
Killian lost track of how long he stood there – ignoring the pre-show schedule Regina had sent him earlier that morning that claimed he should have been in hair and makeup ten minutes ago. He thought he heard the door open at one point – someone walking into the studio only to leave just as quickly when they realized he’d all but taken up permanent residency at his station.
He was leaning against the counter, trying to organize knives in a way that wouldn’t drive him crazy midway through filming, when the door slammed open and he knew.
He knew it was her.
He couldn’t say how or why and he was fairly positive there was some sort of deeper meaning behind it, but Killian knew Emma Swan had just walked in the kitchen as soon as the door hit up against the studio wall.
Killian took a deep breath – hoping to ease the tension that seemed to automatically settle in between his shoulders as soon as the door swung open.
She desperately needed new sneakers. He could have heard her a mile away with the way they were squeaking against the linoleum floor.
And that made him smile more than he probably should have.
He could feel her next to him, trying to stay a few inches away from his arm so she wouldn’t accidentally brush up against the leather jacket he was wearing. And she didn’t look at him. Not once.
“Hi,” Emma said softly and Killian’s mouth ticked up quickly. He still didn’t look at her – couldn’t bring himself to actually meet her gaze.
At least not yet.
“Swan,” he muttered.
Emma took a deep breath and his eyes flickered towards her – she didn’t notice, own gaze directly focused at the wall ahead of her. “You want to talk?” she asked.
He stood up straighter, pushing one palm into the counter underneath him until it practically hurt and at least four of his knuckles cracked from the pressure. And then he looked at her, knowing full well that his face was a complete traitor and Killian was struck, once again, by how much he wanted Emma Swan.
She stared back him, green eyes looking at his face for something and he promised himself then, in some sort of weird, and overly dramatic silent moment, that he would make sure Emma got what she wanted.
“I’d like that, Swan,” he said. She looked surprised. Or stunned. Stunned was also a good word. “You alright, love?
Emma shook her head – but he wasn’t sure if it was an answer to the question or just an attempt to refocus her energy on the apparent conversation they were about to have. “I’ve been better,” she said softly.
Ah, an answer to the question then.
“Why?” he asked, turning to lean his back against the counter. Emma bit her lip, glancing up at him with raised eyebrows as she pushed herself up, sitting on the edge of his station with her legs hanging over the side.
“You’re really asking me that?”
“I just did.”
She sighed, but she was still looking at him and that seemed like a bit of a victory in its own right. “Ok,” she said slowly. “I need to explain something to you and I need you to listen and not interrupt until I’m done because otherwise I’ll stop and you deserve to know. Got it?”
“Got it.”
Emma nodded once and set her shoulders – and God she was something when she was determined. And he’d missed talking to her more than he realized.
“When I was seventeen, I met a guy. And he was great. It was all great. And he talked a big game and promised a lot of things and made me believe in a lot of stupid stuff that I shouldn’t have. I loved him. Or I thought I did. David hated him. But that might have just been because David knew he wasn’t going to be around.”
Killian opened his mouth – questions about where David was going and what had happened practically hanging off the tip of his tongue – but Emma glared at him and he snapped his jaw shut quickly.
“David’s four years older than me. He stayed home for college because of me and his mom and some weird, ingrained sense of responsibility, but he always wanted to get out of Storybrooke. He was leaving for New York. He was going to move to New York and just leave me and, well, let’s say I didn’t cope well. I kind of threw myself into this thing with Neal and it got very serious very fast and he made a lot of promises he didn’t live up to."
"And so, long story short, he left. No explanation, no reason, just walked away from me and everything and left a slightly broken teenage girl who was fairly positive everyone else would walk away.” “Swan,” he said slowly, hand reaching out to rest on her knee before he could stop himself.
Emma shook her head, hair flipping across her face as she moved. “No,” she countered. “Don’t do that. I’m not looking for your pity.” “And I’m not offering it.” Her eyebrows jumped up her forehead and all Killian saw was green. He couldn’t look away from her. “This guy, he’s Henry’s…” “Yeah.” “And he’s where exactly?” “I have no idea,” Emma shrugged. “I haven’t heard a single word from him since he left. I don’t even know if he realizes he’s a father.” “You never tried to find him?”
Her eyes flashed up to him and he braced himself for the steel that he assumed had taken up residency in her gaze, but it wasn’t there. She just looked disappointed. “No,” Emma said softly. “I thought about asking David. He’s pretty good with those background checks, you know. But I couldn’t ever bring myself to do it. And I think David always kind of blamed himself anyway, for what happened.” “That wasn’t his fault.” “No,” she agreed. “It was mine.” Killian’s hand tightened around her knee and he leaned towards her, trying to fit into her space or breathe her in or make her feel as if the weight of the world wasn’t actually on her shoulders. It sounded idiotic even in his own head.
“No, it’s not Swan,” he said, voice turning firm immediately and Emma bit her lip again.
“I shouldn’t have believed him.” “Believing in things isn’t a crime, love.” “No, but ignorance of the law isn’t a defense either.” “You’ve lost me.” Emma laughed softly, the sound making its way into every single one of his muscles and Killian couldn’t even remember what he’d been nervous about – not if she kept making that noise. “I just mean that I should have realized. Before all of the believing. That he’d walk away. But that’s kind of why I didn’t. I wanted to believe someone would want me.” Killian blinked, mouth opening slightly in the sheer disbelief that someone wouldn’t want her. “You can’t think that,” he said softly.
“I’m pretty positive I just told you I did,” she muttered, laughing again and meeting his eyes with a small smile on her face. “That’s why I ran. Why I told you to wait and had some sort of complete mental breakdown in the hallway. Because I wanted. And I thought maybe you did too. And the last time that happened it all blew up in my face.” Emma held his gaze, but her smile faltered for a moment when he didn’t answer immediately. “Anyway,” she said quickly. “I just thought you’d want an explanation or something.”
She tried to move, to slide off the counter and, presumably, to her own scheduled hair and makeup timeslot before they started taping in forty-five minutes, but Killian blocked her, stepping directly in front of her and earning a knee in his side for his efforts.
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” he said softly, fingers ghosting over her waist and God her legs had somehow landed on either side of him. “But I appreciate it.” Emma hummed in response, eyes falling to the few inches of space in between them. There wasn’t much of it. “You’re not the only one who knows how to run away, love,” Killian added, moving forward like he was being pulled into orbit. “No?”
“No,” he repeated. Killian shut his eyes lightly – the weight of the dog tags hanging around his neck suddenly more obvious than ever – and tried to take a deep breath, finding it more difficult than he thought it would be.
And then her hand was on his shoulder and her fingers were tracing patterns up the back of his neck and the air seemed to rush into his lungs. “After Liam died, everything kind of fell off its axis. All I’d known for years was the Navy. I grew up watching Liam serve and I didn’t even know there was another way to live by the time I got to the Academy. And then I followed him and I was good at it, very in line and followed the rules. When Liam got shipped to the Shiloh, neither one of us even celebrated. It was duty, you know, a job. It wasn’t something to throw a party for."
"And we got shipped out and he ran the ship and his men respected him and I don’t know if he ever quite realized I idolized him. I don’t think I ever even thanked him. For all of it – keeping me and making me who I was and being the only reason I didn’t dive in the fucking ocean after him. It was the worst storm I’ve ever seen, did the background check mention that?” Emma nodded slowly and Killian bit the side of his tongue, disappointed at the sarcastic way his voice had shifted.
“It was awful. And Liam had to save them all. Or try. They gave me credit for it. Those twenty guys your brother mentioned, one of them was the man Liam kept from being swept off the side of the fucking ship. I tried to argue, let Liam get something , but it was too much paperwork or red tape and he was dead, so what did it even matter?"
"I left two weeks later. Handed in my resignation letter and told them I was done. That’s not quite how it works though. It’s supposed to take almost four months, but I was done. I couldn’t imagine being on the Shiloh anymore, so I walked away. Or ran away.” “But,” Emma said softly, fingers still moving across his neck like she’d forgotten she was touching him. “If it’s supposed to take four months, how could you just leave?” Killian ran his hand through his hair, reaching down until his fingers wrapped around Emma’s, tugging her away from him and staring up at her. “You’re smart, you know,” he said and Emma just rolled her eyes.
“What happened?” “I was very close to being dishonorably discharged. Someone stepped in and made sure I didn’t. Two months after Liam died. I would have gotten time if I had. Jail and...all the paperwork. I never got a full answer, just that no one came looking for me. I walked away and no one cared.” Emma’s mouth dropped open and she twisted her hand quickly until her fingers entwined with his. “Some hero, huh?”
“Doesn’t change what you did.” “The United States Navy would disagree with you.” “I know what you did.” There wasn’t anywhere to move – no way to get closer to her because she was sitting on a counter in the middle of a studio kitchen that should be filled with people in just a few minutes minutes, but Killian didn’t care.
She knew.
And she knew about Liam.
And if he didn’t figure out a way to touch her soon, he was positive his entire body would combust right there in the middle of that stupid kitchen.
“You weren’t wrong you know,” he said, barely able to get the words out without pushing his hand into her hair and yanking her towards him.
“About?”
“Me wanting.” Emma bit her lip, teeth tugging on it as she tried to move away again – fight or flight syndrome – and Killian dropped his hand, pulling his fingers away from hers. She made some sort of noise at that – something that almost sounded like disappointment when he moved and Killian tried to burn that into his memory – but he just moved his hand back to her waist, holding her on the counter and keeping her in front of him.
“But, despite the rather obscene amount of federal paperwork that will tell you otherwise, I still believe in some sort of good form. I won’t push. And I won’t ask you to tell me anything if you don’t want to. But you should know, you’re not wrong. I want – a lot more than I probably should. So when I win your heart, Emma, and I will win it…it will not be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me.” It was the first time he’d called her Emma.
At least to her face.
And the look on her face made it blatantly obvious she’d realized that too. He could hear her swallow, throat moving in a way that made him wonder, again, if he’d be able to get closer to her with this stupid counter in the way. She shifted slightly and took a deep breath like she was getting oxygen to her lungs for the first time in hours.
He still hadn’t told her everything – hadn’t explained the expansion or the deal or why he had to win. He hadn’t told her about Milah or how he really lost his hand – fairly certain Emma simply assumed it had happened on the Shiloh. And for as much as he knew he should tell her, he was still scared to tell her.
Scared of the way she’d look at him if she realized just exactly what he was – a one-handed, former drunk who only managed to work his way out of a paper bag because of a series of good luck and the food.
It had always been about the food.
Now it might be about the food and Emma.
“I can’t believe you said that,” she said softly and her eyes were glossy.
“And meant it.” “I can’t believe that either.” “You should.” “Why?” It was a simple question – one word, three letters – but the look on her face made Killian believe it might have been the most important question in the world. So, naturally his phone buzzed and Emma groaned and Killian’s hand fell off her waist.
“God, put your phone on silent or something,” she said.
“I was having a conversation before you got here, you know.”
She narrowed her eyes and shot him a speculative smile. “Anyone I know?” “I think you already know the answer to that question.” “He shouldn’t be using his phone while he’s at school.” “A fact I told him forty minutes ago.” If he could get her to smile like that at least once every day for the rest of his life, Killian was certain nothing else would matter. Because he’d never quite seen anything like that.
“Responsible,” she muttered.
Killian shrugged. “He hadn’t texted in awhile. I didn’t want him to get in trouble and get his privileges revoked.”
The smile was gone as quickly as it came, replaced with something that resembled the same kind of nervous anxiety he’d felt in every inch of his body since she walked out of that hallway two weeks ago.
“I’m sorry about that,” she said.
“Don’t be. I understand.” “Do you?” “That was the point of that whole discussion about the Navy, love. I ran away and I’ve spent the better part of the last decade trying to come to terms with that.” “Have you? Come to terms with it?” Killian twisted his lips and made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat. “I’m not sure that I ever will. I spent a very long time trying to live up to Liam’s reputation and now I find I’m constantly trying to honor his memory. And I’m afraid I’m constantly coming up short. He’d tell me I was being an idiot.” “I think I would have liked him,” Emma said and she didn’t know – couldn’t have have any idea at all – what that meant.
“He would have liked you,” he answered with a conviction that seemed to take her by surprise. Someday he would figure out a way to make her believe the compliments, make her believe in general. “Even after running away?” “You came back,” Killian countered, trying not to look at the way Emma’s hand drifted along his arm, fingers tracing towards his brace.
And she was the only one who had ever done that.
It didn’t seem to scare her the way it did other people, didn’t make her uncomfortable or duck her eyes or mutter something about how impressive it was that he was still able to cook. She acted like it was part of him.
And he couldn’t quite breathe if he thought about that for too long.
“I wanted to,” she whispered, fingers digging into his forearm. “And that scared me. A lot.” “I don’t want you to be scared of me.” “Not of you,” Emma corrected quickly. “Of what you could do.” And it all made sense.
And he silently promised he wouldn’t let her down. He’d figure out something with Gold – maybe rob a bank to pay off the building – and she’d get her timeslot back and she’d smile more and he’d kiss her again.
As soon as possible.
“I can’t risk that I’m wrong about you,” she said, pushing her knuckles into her face and leaving an angry red trail across her skin when she wiped away the tears that hadn’t actually fallen down her cheeks. “You’re not.” She sighed loudly, her entire body falling forward with the effort. “Emma,” he said sharply and her head snapped up again. He traced his thumb over the marks she’d left on her face and tried to smile encouragingly at her. “You’re not wrong, love. You just need to trust me. I want just as much as you do.” She licked her lips quickly, tongue darting out in way that was absolutely unfair and Killian squeezed his eyes shut tightly, willing himself to not do anything stupid. And then he felt her hand let go of his forearm, drifting back up towards his shoulders until her fingers were buried in the hair at the bottom of his head, the fingernail of her thumb scratching slightly against the skin there.
“I do trust you,” she said softly and it was like he was hearing the English language for the very first time.
“Good,” he answered.
They were inches away from each other – still, somehow, alone in the kitchen – and all Killian wanted was to move his head slightly and kiss her, but he got the distinct impression that they were walking on some very thin metaphorical ice and his phone wouldn’t stop buzzing.
Emma laughed softly, glancing at the offensive bit of technology. “You should answer him. It’s ok.” He nodded once, trying to figure out a way to breath when she did that with her fingers and grabbed the phone.
Hey, when you see my mom can you tell her that they sent us home early? There’s like an issue with pipes at school or something .
Killian handed the phone to Emma, watching her expression carefully as she read the message – the way her eyes widened and she took a slow, deep breath through her nose before muttering a very audible fuck . “Can I use this?” she asked.
“Hmmm?” “My phones in hair and makeup and this came ten minutes ago and I should probably call. That’s why he texted you. He knows I never bring my phone on set.” “Of course, Swan.” She nodded once, swiping her fingers across the screen, but she didn’t even try to move away from him or push his hand away from her leg when she held the phone up to her ear. “No, no, it’s me. Yeah, hi, kid. No, we’re not having that conversation right now.”
Killian tried not to smile at that, certain he knew what that conversation was about. “We pay a ridiculous amount of money for that school and they can’t even afford to keep their pipes from freezing? It wasn’t even that cold. It’s the middle of November. No, I know, kid, I realize that’s not the point. Where are you now?”
She talked to Henry for a few more minutes, questions regarding his whereabouts and when the school would reopen dominating the majority of the conversation. And Killian was, once again, impressed by Emma Swan.
Because she was good at this – fantastic at this.
And anyone would have been blind to not realize how much she loved Henry.
“Tell M’s I owe her several waffle cones worth of ice cream and I’ll try and get out of here as quickly as possible so we can get to Granny’s later, ok?” She paused for a moment, eyebrows furrowing slightly as she shifted underneath Killian’s hand. “No, I didn’t. Why would you do that? Kid, we talked about this.”
She took another deep breath and there was barely any green left in her eyes at all. “I will ask. But don’t get your hopes up, ok….I realize you’re texting, this is Killian’s phone. Listen, I’ve got to go because we’re going to film soon, but I’ll ask and I’ll see you later and, hey, anyone tell you how awesome you are today?”
He could hear Henry’s muffled voice on the other end of the line and Emma’s smile when he spoke did something very specific to Killian’s pulse. She hung up, smile still lingering on the corners of her mouth, and handed him back the phone, fingers brushing against his.
“Thanks,” she said softly. “Of course. Everything ok?” “Can you believe a school I pay, literally, thousands of dollars for my kid to attend can’t maintain its pipes in the middle of November?” “I cannot.” “They froze and there’s no water and why they didn’t realize this before they all got to school I still don’t entirely understand, but Henry’s with Mary Margaret now, which is where he was going to end up after school anyway, so I guess it’s not a huge deal.” “You’re an incredible mother, you know that, Swan,” Killian said, words spilling out before he could stop himself.
Emma blinked, but she smiled when her eyes met his. “What?” “Incredible,” he repeated. “Henry might actually be the luckiest kid in the entire city.” “You’re exaggerating.” “I am telling you the truth.” “I wasn’t really ready for it,” Emma mumbled. “I mean Neal was gone and there weren’t really a ton of other people around when Henry was born.” “Where was David?”
Her eyes flashed and she shook her hair off her shoulders and Killian knew there was something she still wasn’t telling him. “He was in New York,” Emma said quickly. “It took a little while for us to get here.” Killian nodded slowly, doing his best not to push for the answers he so desperately wanted. “Even so, Swan, Henry’s lucky to have you.” “Sometimes I feel like I’m the lucky one.” “That seems like a good thing.” “It is.” He wanted to kiss her.
And he wanted to her to know how good she was and then, maybe if she’d let him, he wanted to be part of her life. Unequivocally.
“Henry wasn’t supposed to ask you about Granny’s,” she said softly, leg shifting against his hip as she spoke and Killian bit his lip so he wouldn’t actually groan in the middle of this empty kitchen.
“That’s alright, love.” “No, no, you don’t understand,” she argued quickly. “I was supposed to ask you. Or, I wanted to ask you. You know, again. If you weren’t busy.” Killian raised one eyebrow at her and Emma bit her lip. “That so?” he asked and she rolled her eyes.
“Yeah,” Emma said simply.
“You realize you haven’t done that yet.” “Do you want to? I mean, don’t feel obligated or anything. You don’t have to if you don’t want to or if you’ve got to cook later. Plus David and M’s will be there and maybe Ruby and it might be weird. Or something.” “I don’t think it’ll be weird.” “No?”
Killian shrugged. “Not if I want to be there.”
“And you do?” “I think we’ve established the fact that, when it comes to you, Swan, I want quite a bit.” Emma’s shoulders sagged, like she was exhausted, and Killian dragged his hand up her arm, fingers wrapping around the back of her neck. “And I might have already promised Henry that I’d eat onion rings with him.” Emma huffed out a breath of air and Killian grinned at her, left hand coming up to rest on her waist and she leaned into the prosthetic. “He likes you,” she said softly.
“I like him.” “I might like you too.” His stomach flipped in a way it hadn’t since he was, at least, sixteen years old. “I like you,” he said.
“Good.” And Killian couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t come up with a single reason not to lean towards Emma and brush his lips against hers and absolutely lose himself in her.
So he did.
He kissed her, fingers pushing into her hair again as Emma’s right leg wrapped around his thigh. Killian had never hated a single piece of furniture more than he hated the stupid counter in front of him, keeping him from actually moving any closer to her, but Emma was nothing if not ingenious and she slid across the top until the entire front of her body was pressed tightly against his.
And he had no idea how he was supposed to go on camera after this.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this – it wasn’t supposed to feel like everything all at once, like he was losing himself or drowning or some other overly romanticized clich é , but that’s exactly what it was.
Emma had her hands buried in his hair and her thumb kept doing that thing , making him actually groan against her lips and Killian could feel her smile when she kissed him, moving her mouth against his like they’d been doing this forever.
Maybe they had – he’d lost track of time.
He might have actually sighed out her name at one point, fingers dancing along the edge of her shirt and Emma’s legs tightened around his hips, yanking herself even closer against him.
“I trust you,” she mumbled in his ear, lips ghosting across his jaw in a way that made goosebumps appear on his arm.
“I don’t intend to let you down, Swan,” he answered, fingers, finally, hitting skin as his hand wrapped around her hip.
“Good.” She moved back to his mouth and kissed him again and Killian wasn’t never going to argue that.
It was inevitable – someone was eventually going to come into the studio, but he’d been so focused on her and the feel of her under his hand that Killian had nearly forgotten where they were.
Emma’s fingernails skidded across the back of his neck when the door swung open loudly and Killian bit his tongue so he wouldn’t gasp at the feel of it. Her eyes went wide, meeting someone’s gaze over his shoulder and Killian felt like he’d been doused with ice water.
“Swan?” he asked, not moving an inch away from her. She just shook her head quickly.
“Well, I was going to make some sort of crack about forcing Emma to kiss and tell,” a voice said behind him, the laughter obvious in every single syllable, “but I guess I don’t have to do that anymore, do I?”
#cs fic#cs au#cs ff#cs fanfic#captain swan ff#captain swan fanfiction#ootfp#here's hoping that cliffhanger paid off#so have another one...kind of
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Tumbleweed, Her #15 - [BAP] Noir!Au
[A/N] There’s a part of me in Youngjae.
The Lunacy: Yoo Youngjae
Do you believe in karma?
They told him to be normal. They screamed at him to ‘toughen up’. But jokes on them, because he’s been screaming at himself the exact same words, only louder, a lot harsher. Yoo Youngjae is born in a successful family. Parent’s are pharmacists, and it was only natural that he ends up the same way. He was an only child and although he was a well driven and descriptive writer of the college, he was forced to set away that dream of his. Leave it, buried under his beautiful brain.
And the first person to realise this potential of his, was you.
He enjoyed that look on your face when you read the prose he wrote in his sleepless nights. The genuine awe, the comments. Your genuine appreciation of the arts in the form of words.
“And he looked at her, with steely eyes. ‘Your father will chop my head off!’, and she shot, ‘No he will not!’ ‘I would, if I were him!’ he roared,”
“And the couple was given the much needed silence and he slowly smiled, ‘You’d still marry me even if I’m without a head,’ a glint in his eyes that says more than words could ever.’” You read out loud.
“Youngjae, this is...wow.” All you could say and all you needed to say.
“Youngjae…” you called him out, “Yoo Youngjae, what have you done?” You looked at him and closed the handwritten book and set on your lap as you watch him blush. “Yoo Youngjae, you should be out there, writing! On billboard, fan-signing events. Make girls swoon over your gorgeous writing, Youngjae, what are you doing with your life. You know very well, you don’t belong behind this counters no matter how smart you are.” You raise your voice a little, to ensure that the messages come across. Youngjae shakes his head with a smile lingering on his face, he extended his arm to grab his white coat and he sighed, “You know me very well.”
“And you should know that this pharmacy will go bankrupt without a successor, and my family will go berzerk.” Youngjae glide his eyes to meet your and gave you a sweet grin. “This talent will go to waste, Youngjae.” You stood up right after he did. “No, it won’t. I’ll go on Tumblr and write anonymously under a pen name. No one will know it’s me, and my parent’s will never find out, I’ll still run the pharmacy, everybody wins.” He said, and walked to aisles full of supplement drinks and medications.
“Not you.” You stopped in your steps. “You don’t win that way. You’ll be hurt. You’ll want to escape a prison you can’t break free from. You’ll feel that you waste your life away and in thirty years to come, you’d come back to this day and say to yourself, ‘I wish I had it differently. I wish I did what I wanted.’ Because Youngjae, we lived our whole life listening to what our parents wants us to be, don’t you think it’s time to do what we wanted to do?” You asked him, a worried expression on your face.
“There’s too much risk.” He shook his head, hanging them low. “You’ll lose yourself.” You replied, as quickly as he did. “I’m fine with hurting myself.” “I’m not fine with that.”
Youngjae shakes his head, and he overlooked at Daehyun who has fallen asleep with his phone on his chest, they’re still at the hospital, resting well before they embark the journey back to the city. Feeling bored after many hours in the car, he walked out, and shut the car door as gently as he could. The birds are chirping, and the memories of yesterday and what he saw are slowly blackening out. He entered the hallway, yawning, both hands in his pocket. He wore a sky blue dress shirt, two top button left unfastened, and a beige long trousers, looking like a typical pharmacist walking in the hospital halls. He heard a loud siren coming from outside, he guessed that he would be etching steps towards an emergency department, based on the chaotic atmosphere of medical staffs rushing in and out.
People crying, yelling, and miscellaneous noise coming from all corners, it disheartened Youngjae but he kept walking. He had a change of heart as the noises gets louder, so he made a detour to the toilet first. And in there, he washes his face, and find himself deluded by the sound of running water from the tap. “Guilt.” A voice came from the side. The lights flicker all of a sudden and when it steadies, Youngjae turns to see a patient standing up straight at the tap next to his. He had an eerie smile on his face. The kind of face you see and you’ll know almost certainly that he’s not right in the head. The red tag on his wrist gave Youngjae his name, Kim Himchan.
It was easy to see a patient, since they wore the uniform with the hospital’s name on them.
“It only exists when you have a heart. When you don’t have one, you don’t feel guilt. You won’t feel anything,” Himchan raised his right arm and Youngjae could see clearly that there’s blood dripping down his elbow, although covered by his long sleeves. Youngjae stopped breathing and with his wobbly leg, he screamed for help, falling upon the exit. His eyes wide, he was panting. “Someone’s in the washroom, he had blood. He had blood! There’s blood!” Youngjae starts to crawl on all four, he rested his back to the wall and hugged his legs. Then he begins to violently shake. The medical staffs surrounded him and some of them ran into the bathroom.
They brought in a stretcher and brought out the said patient. And at the same time, Youngjae was having an episode of extreme breakdown. He couldn’t speak and he began to talk nonsense. Daehyun came out of nowhere and held his face, trying to look into his eyes, but Youngjae’s iris were wide, he wasn’t there. His body is, but his emotion isn’t. He was really afraid. He showed extreme fear and because of that Daehyun threw himself away, because he hadn’t seen anything like it.
Flashes of blood come into Youngjae’s mind, and he heard cries of a young boy. It was himself. He was having flashbacks of him. Youngjae was being whipped with a iron pipe. It caused his body to be black and blue. He was locked in a wooden cupboard, his nails digging on the wood, making scratching sound as he cried for help. He remembered sweating, having nothing to eat and drink, for days. When he was freed, the abusing continues. “I have to be a good boy. I have to be a good boy. I have to get all A’s. I have to. I need to.” He would chant to himself. He heard doors open and closed and he’ll instinctively hide underneath the bed. But the man, proved to be ulterior, caught him by his hair and pull him out, mercilessly. “Please save me! Save me!”
He screamed the same words.
The commotion rendered everyone into a panicking state and you quickly realised what’s going on. You instantly got on your knees and next to Youngjae’s convulsing body. You grabbed his face and set your lips next to his ear and you started to sing whilst crying. Yes, you started singing softly.
“Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime, you are near. Just like me, they long to be, close to you…”
Daehyun looked at you, wide-eyed. And then, Youngjae visibly calmed down. Tears fall on each side of his face. You cried into his shoulder as you cooed him. The nurses gave him tranquilizers and he was sedated to sleep and rest as long as he could. “Who was the patient inside the bathroom with him?” You heard one doctor say, but didn’t stay around to listen to the answer. Daehyun looked at the bed next to Youngjae and recognised his face, right away. “Kim Himchan.”
But he wasn’t there for long, because under a strict command, he was immediately treated in a secluded and private area, away from cameras and public. What was the Congressman’s son doing in a hospital?
He find it odd.
Youngjae woke up to an unfamiliar surrounding. Only the sound of the ECG filling his ear bud. He hikes up a lungful of breath and he shakes his head for what seemed hours complete knock-out. He heard the door to his opened and closed. “Oh, you’re awake!” You exclaimed, mouth full of biscuit crumbs, standing by the door, “I’ll go get the nurse.” And before Youngjae could say anything, you were already out there sprinting down the hall, and he heard your footsteps rather clearly than he wanted to.
The doctor came with the nurses and you. He ran his flashlight over to Youngjae’s iris, scan through his vitals and introduced Youngjae, the house pharmacist. Youngjae shook his head in disbelieve, “This is a rather embarrassing situation where a pharmacist meets a fellow pharmacist, in a condescending atmosphere.” The pharmacist, female, and attractive greets him with a iridescent smile, ungenuine, to say the least.
“Well, that means I can skip introductions. Risperidone is found in your system, any explanations, on why that would be?” She sounded feisty, and there’s a tone in her that makes you think that it’s probably not her first time meeting Youngjae. But then again, maybe that’s just you. You turned to look at Youngjae and his charming face, that looked tired. His lips discoloured from him biting it as his eyes shake to his lap. He was contemplating. He was about to say things he doesn’t want you to know about, and you hate the fact that you’re such a good face reader.
“I have schizophrenia,” he stammered, reluctance in his voice, and he adds, “...with mild psychosis.” He clenched his eyes shut, the way that normal people would react when they’ve been found out to reveal something they’ve never intend to. You couldn’t respond. His voice sounded like pieces of words in your head, and it echoed before it actually made sense. Then, all the memories with him started to unveil.
The song he usually sings when he’s alone in the pharmacy, the tune he hums along too, that song you sang to him when his attack came-- it was his remedy. “Why do birds, suddenly appear...everytime, you are near…” The words wrote themselves in your head. You always wondered why that song played every time you walked in his pharmacy. It calmed him. The song, they soothe him. “Yes, I’m a little cuckoo in the head. What I really need is a psychiatrist, not a pharmacist.” He arrogantly say. The pharmacist stayed put. And for awhile, you thought you’ve probably been right after all, and the next words that came out of her mouth, cemented your earlier belief.
“You don’t remember me, do you?” She weakly said, a sad smile flashed across her face as she rests the writing pad covering her middle. She was very attractive, and there’s no way Youngjae could have missed that. Or so you thought.
Youngjae’s eyes remains unaffected. He darts them away, to save her face. “Class of 2013? Seoul University. We’re from the same batch.” She clarified. But Youngjae responds remained aloof. “So what do you want me to say? Sorry, your batchmate is insane?”
You lightly touched his wrist as he immediately stopped talking. To tell him, that he’s out of line. And that he shouldn’t behave that way. Youngjae lay back down, threw his head into the pillow again, “...I’m going to need what that doctor gave me to go back to sleep. Another hour would be good.” He murmured. “Hours, Youngjae? You’ve slept for days.” You raised your voice a little, and the pharmacist took it as a queue to leave. Which you were glad, since her presence here seems to bother Youngjae a little. And Youngjae isn’t easy to be bothered. “That was not nice, you should at least pretend that you knew her.” You sat on his bed, watching him turn to his side, facing away from you.
“She’s not very significant for me to remember. I don’t remember faces, I remember souls.” Youngjae said, and...
“Go.”
He said. “Leave.”
You sighed softly.
“Leave me, like everyone else does, once they got to know what I am. A lunatic,” Youngjae sternly say.
You placed your hand on his shoulder and squeeze them a little. You leaned your face to his shoulder, nuzzled your nose to the fabric that’s covering them and whispered softly to him, “You’re exactly like the rest of us. Just...wired differently. You don’t scare me, at all.” You brushed your lips on his shoulder before sitting up straight, “...I need my best friend back. Tell me when he’s here.” You said, upon leaving. Youngjae buries his face into the pillow, finding comfort in the resonance of his thoughts.
You came by everyday. Yongguk went back to Seoul to work, Jongup is being ignored for all the needed reason, and Junhong is attending rehabilitation therapy to help him recover his muscles. You were stuck here, just waiting for the next step. Your loneliest moment is back, and you prayed that ‘it’s’ not here to stay, because you dreaded it.
Youngjae found you seated by the cafeteria, scrolling down your phone, a tired expression on your face. He studied your face, every blinks, every lashes, and how your fingers delicately swipe the screen of your phone. Sensing someone had been watching, you were prepared if it was Jongup, you’d be glad if it’s Junhong, but it was Youngjae...so you were astounded. Have you ever felt strange, looking into the pair of eyes that you’re familiar with, and felt like you’re looking at a stranger?
Like, you’re not sure who you’re looking at?
It was that kind of feeling.
Youngjae blinks, and looked at the clothes he wore. This ugly hospital uniform. Then he looks up at his angel, sitting across the room. And instantly, you knew, that it was Youngjae. Your best friend, Youngjae. You push your chair back as you jog a little, approaching him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and pressed your body on his. You missed this physical contact. “I’ve missed you.” You murmured into his shoulder.
“How are you not frightened of me? I only trouble you. You should have hated the sight of me,” He softly said, sitting right next to you by the bench. “Because,” you turned to him and handed him a juice, “...If I hate you, I won’t have anyone I like.”
“What happened with Jongup?” “What didn’t happened with Jongup.”
It wasn’t an answer. “Jongup had priorities. And it ain’t me.” Youngjae sips into his drink, “...then, forget him.”
“I wish it was that easy. Jongup has a hold on me, Youngjae. I can’t explain it. I guess I have eyes for bad guys.” Your gaze dropped to your lips to the hands that Jongup used to hold tight to his chest when he sleeps. Those days are gone, now. Maybe you should have enjoyed it while it last. “I wasn’t in love, until I love Jongup.”
And with that. And with that alone, Youngjae understood so much.
“He said, there’s no future between me and him. He said, he doesn’t want to commit. He said… he wasn’t in love. He was just there to have me, and nothing more. He said those words, Youngjae. He said them, with no glint of remorse in his eyes. And that’s how you kill a person. Not with knives, not with bullets, not guns. But by loving someone who doesn’t love you back. That’s how you kill someone.” You angrily wiped tears that are falling on one side of your cheek, and you braved a smile as Youngjae stucked his gaze on the brick road next to your feet.
“And you know what’s worse, Youngjae?” You added a sad chuckle, “...I said the exact same thing to Yongguk, a long time ago. Every word. Every tone. Every intention.”
Do you believe in karma? Youngjae does.
Next: Part 16
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[Part 1] Used // Jungkook x Reader (Mission!AU)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |
Genre: Mission!AU (is that a thing?), romance, action, fluff, (angst)
Word count: 6,1K
Summary: You find yourself unable to sleep one night and a peculiar sound makes you leave the comfort of your bed to go check it out, only to discover that someone is in your apartment. The events following have your emotions in turmoil and at the blink of an eye your life is switched upside down. You loose one thing, but gain another, will it be for the better or worse?
Warnings: Violence and weapons
A/N: Hey guys! ^^ This is my first fanfic on tumblr and I’m excited about this story! I’ve been inspired by many great bts fanfics out there and finally decided to release one my own. It’s gonna be a series because I really can't write short haha. Idk if people should actually start of with a one-shot, but oh well. I’ve written a few stories before, but never published them, so leave your comments and feel very free to message me or ask me telling me what you think! I’d love to hear your opinion and possible theories for how the plot will develop~ Enjoy~~
It was late at night. Tranquil strokes from the full moon laid themselves over the silk bed sheets as occasional cars could be heard in the distance. The window was open and soft, chilly breezes would make their way in from time to time; hints of the warm sun earlier that day, distant and foreign. You lay there listening to the rustling of the leaves that could almost touch your windowsill as you were situated on one of the higher floors of your building.
You had been so tired the whole day feeling as though you could fall asleep at any moment, but now that the moment came to finally rest your limbs and mind, you found yourself wide awake. Your hand was making small circles in the light silk over you as you tried to calm yourself down, and you could hear your antique wall clock strike one time indicating that it was already 1 am.
You let out a sigh figuring you may as well check your charging phone for any notifications. You really weren’t the slightest tired, but you hoped that with some swipes down one of your apps you would get bored and eventually fall asleep, at least that’s what you told yourself. The reality of what the bright light, even with the brightness to its minimum, would do to you is a different story, which you chose to ignore. But it didn’t even take longer than for your phone to read your fingerprint that you suddenly heard an abnormal, and particularly loud click come from down the hall that leads to the combined kitchen and living room area. You had stopped just before you were about to slide your finger over the app. The sound making your heart jump slightly for not recognizing it as one of the many sounds that came from your large apartment. Therefore you decided to keep still, long enough for your phone screen to go black again, but as the seconds ticked by the sound did not come back and you slid down from your slightly upright position to lay on your fluffy mattress again.
However, since your mind was already alert it didn’t take much of you to notice another, slightly vaguer click, but still of the same fashion as the earlier one. It could have been all just a coincidence. You didn’t ignore the fact that a building would have many sounds intact, and probably a handful or more you had yet to hear despite the many years you had lived in your apartment. You also took note that it could have been the wind from outside, although the likelihood of it would be minor as there was hardly any at all. But at least you tried not jumping to the conclusion that a burglar was possibly trying to break their way into your home. Then again the fact that it was a new sound and that you weren’t tired enough to let it pass, gave you no other choice then to go check it out.
You slipped into your fluffy bunny slippers and threw a pastel pink silk robe loosely around your figure as you shuffled your way to your door. But you stopped midway.
Crash.
You heard the crystal clear sound of something crashing some rooms away making you immediately freeze, your blood going cold and you thought time might have stopped for a moment as your heart surely had. The thoughts from before now pounding in your head.
Someone is in my apartment.
No doubt. That was not a sound a building would make. Neither was it the wind, nor your imagination. You owned no pets. You lived alone. Nothing that you knew of was placed in a risqué position for it to fall by its self, definitely not something as breakable as whatever fell. Your mind was working at the speed of lightning thinking about every logical solution for the sound. But you found none.
Someone was definitely in your apartment, and if you were at all tired before, that was absolutely not the case now.
It took you four seconds to realize what was lying in the corner of your eye, as you hadn’t moved: Your friend's baseball equipment. Silently you for once thanked your friend for forgetting something of his, again, at your place. And with two swift strides of your feet, you reached for it and headed towards your already opened door.
The hallway was empty and dead silent. From the looks of it, you didn’t see anything suspicious coming from the kitchen and living room area, yet. At this point, you were probably holding your breath, but you didn’t notice from the adrenaline rush soaring through you. However, as you entered the big room seeing your open kitchen to the left and the untouched cream white couches to your right, you saw nobody. Had you actually imagined it all? Slowly you let out your breath again and lowered your shoulders followed by the baseball bat in your firm grip.
“Gosh, Y/N,” you let out when you walked further in the room, at the obvious sight of it being empty. “You really have gone crazy-” you started but quickly came to an abrupt stop when your fluffy bunny slippers suddenly made a cracking sound beneath you. Your whole body froze once again as you slowly lowered your head to the broken shards clearly shining in the moonlit sky, a horror filled shiver running down your spine.
Tightly you gripped the handle once again and swung your bat behind you as if someone was actually there, and to further your horror it actually hit something that was previously not there. The dark figure screamed out a weird yelp. Stunned, your eyes flung open seeing not only one, but several figures before you, or behind you, you weren’t quite sure anymore as you were about to trip over from the shock and scream for help. But you were too late for that as an additional figure caught your waist and swiftly placed a hand over your open mouth all at the same time.
You tried struggling out of the tight grip, spewing out words that only became muffled, all to no avail. But a sudden lighthearted laugh caught you completely off guard. You raised your head seeing it coming from one of the taller figures before you.
“I think that’s the first time you weren’t able to evade someone J-hope… maybe we should rename you J-hopeLESS?”
The man burst out in laughter followed by sighs and grunts from the other figures in the room. Some time, between all this, the light had been turned on making you no less confused than you already were. The fact that the light couldn’t have possibly been switched on unless you used a remote for it, one that was currently in your room, didn’t even bother you at this point. What you cared about was the extremely unforeseen sight before you.
Five, rather handsome men, if you may say so yourself, stood before you, all adorned in black clothing and colorful hairstyles. They seemed no older than yourself, and it made you wonder what in the world they were doing in your apartment. Were they from your school? Playing a prank on you? Were they sent by your friends to scare you? Or were they actually just really good looking burglars?
“Jin, you’re the only one who finds that funny.” The purple haired man sighs eyeing the equally tall man with chestnut brown hair who had previously attempted the pun. Which you still couldn’t comprehend as to why would be fitting in this kind of situation.
“Don’t fool yourselves, you were all laughing at the previous joke I made just before we arrived here.” He answered back confidently.
“I would have laughed if it wasn’t about me…” The man with pink-blondish hair added in as he rubbed his arm, probably the one guilty of your swing from before. Speaking of which, you noticed how you no longer held onto the bat.
Your eyes wandered to the other two men before you that still hadn’t spoken. One of them was smaller than the other, but still quite toned from what you could observe, his hair was bright pink and his arms were crossed. While the other man to the far left was tall joining in with the other tall men. His hair was brown with stripes of pink in it; making you wonder if pink was in for men or something. You noted his toned figures like the other man as you eyed his figure. But when your gaze flew back up to his face you suddenly froze.
The other men were still engaged in conversation, but at the moment you caught this man's eyes they were all too familiar. His brown orbs seemed to pull you in, as he slightly furrowed his brows, probably a mirror of yourself. You, on the other hand, didn’t blink once as you gazed at him doe-eyed not truly believing what you were looking at.
Was it really him? You thought and you were about to open your mouth to say something to him as you suddenly felt a gush of warm air down your neck. You jumped in the grip that was still holding you, now a little looser than before, as you turned to notice a man you hadn’t seen before, but again it wasn’t the obvious that made you confused. Did he just sniff me?
This man was dirty blonde and stood noticeably close to you with his brows close together as if pondering something while taking a deep breath. He was definitely as handsome as the others and the close proximity made your heart jump. “W-what are you doing?” You let out silently, but it seemed to have caught everyone’s attention as you spoke for the first time in their presence.
“Memorizing your smell.” He stated matter of factly as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
When you didn’t answer, his blank stare turned into a sweet boxy smile and you somehow relaxed watching his features. As the attention was now back on you, you turned your head back to the rest.
“Um… Can someone please explain to me what’s going on here?” You tried sounding confident and demanding, but it was much shakier than you hoped for.
“Of course. We're sorry about that, we were planning on giving you a warm welcome,” the purple haired man said stepping a little forward.
“I think we ruined that the moment we decided to sneak in here at one in the morning, hyung,” the pink haired guy spoke for the first time, his voice an octave higher than you expected.
“Or the fact that you had to trip on air and make that vase fall,” the tall pun guy said.
“Ah, I guess that’s true… I’m so sorry about that by the way,” he smiled shyly portraying two small dimples on each of his cheeks. “Anyway, why don’t we sit down? You’ll probably need it after everything I’ll be telling you, Y/N. Hyung you can let her go now.”
Your name suddenly slipping from his mouth would have surprised you if not for the shiver that suddenly ran down your spine. The man holding on to you sighed right in your ear as the feeling of an emptiness around you formed. “Finally,” he said as if it had been the hardest job in the world and passed right by you without even giving you a single glance. He made his way straight to your couch and letting another sigh leave his lips as he slumped down on it; his black hair and black clothes making such a strong contrast to your white couches. It also surprised you to see how small his figure was compared to how strong and firm his grip had felt on you.
“Shall we?” The dimples protruding once again as the man gestured to the couches.
You debated whether to make a run for it now that you were free or if you actually should listen to whatever they had to say. But if they were out to kill you they would be able to by the time you run to the door, or they wanted to torture you slowly, and you gulped at the thought, but if that was their goal wouldn’t they have killed you by now anyway? Or at least handcuffed you or something?
Your eyes made contact with the familiar guy from before, reminding you that he was also still there. You never thought you would see him in this apartment, or ever really. This event was already weird enough as it was, but with him there you started wondering if it was ok to actually trust these guys. You continued staring at him, straight in his deep brown eyes for a couple of seconds searching for any answers to all of this, but you found nothing as he just stared back. You passed him, neither of you saying a word, evading the huge elephant in the room, as you settled on a couch opposite of where the black haired man sat, the others joining you swiftly.
Namjoon, the purple haired man, had started off introducing each of his companions, explaining how they had their real names, but also code names for when they went out for “missions”, as he put it. Hoseok, also known as J-hope, was the one you had hit before making the guys release small giggles at the remembrance of the unimaginable scene, one that you still didn’t understand why was so funny. Jimin, also referred to as ChimChim, was the bright pink haired man. Then he introduced Seokjin, short: Jin, the one to make the pun before. Taehyung, or V, was the guy who had sniffed you. Apparently, his senses were up to comparison to a dog, as for why he memorizes people’s smell. Also, Yoongi, known as Suga for missions, the black haired man who had been the most careless person out of them all ‘til now, whom-… Was he sleeping?
“And lastly, Jungkook,” Namjoon pointed to his side where he sat, your eyes finally landing on his again, but Jungkook’s face was still unreadable. However, with his name now being revealed to you, you were sure of who he was. “He’s the sub-leader, while I’m the leader, but he originally made all of this happen, as in, I guess you could say he founded our group. He’s our maknae and goes by the name ‘Kookie’.”
“Haha!” you blurted out at the ridiculously cute name for the seemingly “matured” Jungkook. Everyone looked at you surprised by your sudden outburst.
“’Kookie’? Seriously?” You laughed even more not being able to contain yourself anymore. “I’m sorry, forgive me,” you tried saying holding your mouth to conceal your laughs. Some of the guys started smiling with you happy to see you laugh.
“What’s wrong with it?” Jungkook questions finally speaking for the first time while knitting his eyebrows not understanding why it was funny. His voice had gotten much darker since the last time you saw him, although that was just to be expected. All of him had changed drastically, to be honest. His shoulders were broad and he had obviously gained some muscles underneath those fabrics. Puberty had undeniably hit him hard. His face no longer spoke ‘flower boy’, but instead spoke harsh words of maturity and handsomeness. You would have been lying if you didn’t think he had become attractive.
“Well, I just thought you would have chosen a more, I don’t know… mature name? I mean, I can’t believe you stuck with Kookie. Didn’t you hate that name?” Your laugh was still there, but fading nonetheless.
“Well excuse me if it wasn’t to your preference. And for your information, I didn’t choose it.”
“Yes, he did.” Yoongi, whom you thought was sleeping chimed in with his eyes still closed, making both you and the other guys chuckle.
“No, I didn’t!” he protested. “Who gave it isn’t important. It was given to me cause nobody calls me by it, at least not anymore. That’s what makes it good for missions... And I didn’t hate it either.” Jungkook spoke his last words almost inaudible with a faint blush on his cheeks, but you heard them nonetheless.
“Wait, wait. Something’s not right here… Do you guys know each other?” Jimin asked suddenly dumbfounded. All the boys looked between you and Jungkook seeing his point at the way the conversation between you two was weirdly natural. Even Yoongi stole a glance over at you. But your eyes remained on Jungkook.
“We did know each other,” you started, old forgotten memories suddenly forming in the back of your mind. “We were childhood friends.”
Jungkook nodded confirming it too.
“What?! Jungkookie! Why didn’t you tell us?” Taehyung pouted to his friend with Namjoon and Seokjin joining in the complaining too.
“How would I have known? You’re the guys who didn’t tell me!” Jungkook protested.
“No, Jungkook, you’re the sub-leader here. We don’t need to tell you, you were supposed to know. Didn’t you listen when I was talking at the meeting the other day, explaining everything for today?” Namjoon exclaimed frantically.
“Ah.” Jungkook simply said as if he just remembered something, a look of realization just hitting him.
“Jinjja... Do you ever listen when I explain our missions?” Namjoon sighed as the other boys scoffed at Jungkooks obviousness.
“I only zone out because I know we have such a reliable leader to lean on,” Jungkook batted his eyelashes giving his hyung an innocent smile causing Namjoon to push his face away from him muttering something under his breath.
“I thought I raised you better my son…” Seokjin shakes his head as if he was a disappointed parent, making the other guys laugh and you joining in with a chuckle too finding the whole scenario and Jungkook before you so weird.
“Shouldn’t you guys have like some romantic catch up then?” Taehyung wondered bluntly making you flush a little but quickly answering in unison with Jungkook.
“We’re not like that!”
The room went silent, but you didn’t let it last long.
“We were only ever friends. Good friends at that. But that was all.”
“So what happened?” Seokjin asked.
You glanced over at Jungkook as if telling him what you were thinking by one look, and he knew. Honestly, you wanted to scream at him and let all your emotions out, crying out to him while you frantically ask why he left you and what had happened. He was your only true friend at that time. Your parents were too busy with work, and school wasn’t a happy place either as you would constantly be bullied for your background and status, despite you actually being more wealthy than everyone in your class combined. Jungkook however, didn’t care about that, even when he had the same background as you. He was rich, as every other person at your school, however, your family was above the average, making your parents gain many enemies with your classmates' parents, therefore resulting in their children pestering you for your parents well beings.
Jungkook always showed up though. He always stayed with you if you were too scared to sleep alone at home, always gave you a warm smile and hug to ease your longing heart that simply needed love… Until one day, he stopped coming to school. He didn’t wait for you at the gate so you could walk home together and when you got to his house nobody opened the door. This happened for five days straight until your parents had one evening strangely been home, and as you entered the door they had embraced you as they constantly poured out words of apology. And that was the evening Jungkook’s parents had been found dead from a tragic car accident. Silently you had asked about Jungkook if he also was dead. But your parents only gave each other looks of sympathy as they told you his body was never found.
Back to reality, you decided to contain your emotions for now, as you simply lied smiling like the most tragic moment of your life never happened. “Um, I guess we just grew apart after a while?”
Jungkook didn’t say anything although he knew the real answer and he wanted with every bone in his body to explain himself to you. But also knowing that since you were still clueless about everything Jungkook had been through, and because of your abrupt meeting tonight without having the possibility to talk alone yet, the best would be to lie to not make the boys probe any further.
“Anyway,” you spoke up again lifting the awkward mood forming in the room. “Can you now explain to me why you are here?” you finally asked one of the many questions you still didn’t know the answer to. They had told you about themselves, but what they were, and why they were here still didn't make sense to you. However, the awkward silence only grew as your question reached their ears, and you suddenly noticed how everyone except for Namjoon avoided your stare.
“Y/N. We came her because you need to be protected. There’s someone trying to get to you and we need to stop him at all cause. We are here now because this man is planning things that will become a huge problem to our society if everything goes according to his plans, and we know he is capable of it unless we intervene. We got together as a group to finally put a stop to his plans as we’ve all been substitutes to them in various ways.”
“But what does this have to do with me? Why is he after me?” You interrupt just getting more confused by the hour.
“I know you’re confused right now, but please let me keep explaining.” He paused, a look of guilt washing over him only furthering your confusion. “I’m so sorry that I’m the one to tell you this. I wish I didn’t have to. But Y/N…” he hesitated again as you saw Jungkook furrow his brows as if the news that was about to come was the worst he would hear. And maybe he was right. “Your parents are dead. They died last night, or more; they were assassinated.”
You realized what Namjoon had to say was important, but what came out of his mouth wasn’t anything close to what you imagined. Why? You didn’t understand. Nothing was making sense anymore and you suddenly couldn’t feel anything. There was a weird void aching inside of you and the realization hadn’t hit you.
“W-what? You must be joking, right? This can’t be real… right? You're playing a prank on me, aren’t you? Please-“ A huge lump started to form in your throat and you were suddenly gasping for air. “Please tell me this is just a joke!” You tried desperately searching Namjoon’s eyes for any signs, but he just kept staring at you apologetically, the same stare your parents had given you the day Jungkook’s parents were found. And it made you sick.
“So, are you saying that this man had something to do with the-... with the death of my parents?”
“That’s what we are afraid of, yes,” Namjoon said.
Pleadingly you looked over to Jungkook who was now looking right at you, and surely he would tell you that this was all just a joke, that your parents were at home safely sleeping in their bed or working on their next project, but Jungkook only vaguely shook his head. The feeling of seeing your expression so pained making his heart throb with ache.
Jungkooks reaction was your last drop of self-control, as your tears just seemed to roll down in endless streams. The world went blurry and there was such an immense pain stabbing you over and over again. “No… please no…” you hulked up not caring about the eyes boring into you at your completely defenseless state. Maybe your parents weren’t there for big parts of your life and maybe they weren’t the best parents either, but nonetheless, you loved them. And they did love you too.
But now they were gone.
You didn’t know how much time had passed, or when you had closed your eyes to fall into a deep slumber, but when you woke up you felt your eyes and throat dry and a sudden pain emerged from the memories of what had happened. A single tear threatened to fall from your eyes and as it did you noticed how it didn’t fall down the same traces of the now dried up tear stains on your cheeks, but met a black fabric soaking it up.
That’s when you opened your eyes more as you realized you were on top of a person, but you soon squinted, as the light coming from your living room windows was too strong. Your arm was wrapped around the person beside you tightly like you were holding onto a teddy bear. And as you lifted your head to get a glimpse of the person beside you, the sight of a beautiful, but frowning Jungkook met your eyes. He was still sleeping and for a second your heart had jumped from the close proximity, but nevertheless, you didn’t push him away, as you really needed the comfort right now. And his hugs had always been the best.
You didn’t know how you had ended up in his arms like this, but you took the opportunity to take in his new sweet, but musky scent and the different feeling his body had now that so many years had passed since you last touched him. You were almost shocked to practically feel his abs underneath your arm and the strength he had gained was clear from the firm grip that held you around him. His shoulders were broader and you could see his Adam's apple clearly protruding, one that he was too young to have the last time you saw him.
Carefully you tried to move away from his grasp to possibly get yourself a glass of water and clean your face up in the bathroom before someone were to see the horror that is you. But you quickly froze as Jungkook noticed your subtle movements and tiredly opened his eyes to look at you almost instinctively as if reassuring himself that you were still there.
“Good morning,” he said in an extremely husky voice while giving you a tired smile. You felt his touch sending electric shocks through your body at the way he spoke and you tried ignoring the jump your heart made at this new Jungkook you were experiencing.
“How are you feeling?” he continued when you didn’t answer him and it sent your thoughts back to the main reason for your childhood friend actually being in your apartment. The pain was still strong although you didn’t feel like crying your eyes out. “A little better I guess.”
“That’s good,” he genuinely smiled for the first time since you had last seen him, and at that moment you were also able to see a glint of the old Jungkook you had held so dearly to you.
You didn’t think you were quite aware of everything that had happened the past hours. First thinking you were being robbed at one in the morning, to out of the blue finding out your parents were assassinated, but also finding out your beloved childhood friend had been living all these years.
You were taken away from your thoughts as you heard Jungkook clear his throat. “Um, Y/N?” he asked and you suddenly realized you had been gazing openly at him as you were still in such close proximity to each other. It made a shade of pink appear on Jungkook’s face as his reaction reflected over to you and you found yourself fumbling out of his grasp. But as you pushed yourself back, you had forgotten how your couch wasn’t your bed and you, therefore, found yourself clumsily slipping off of it. However, you weren’t met by your cold wooden floor, but by a something soft that soon followed by a dark groan from the contact.
You had landed on top of a curled up Taehyung, and if not before, he was now wide-awake from the sudden body that flew on top of him.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed quickly rising to your feet, and as you thought you would get an earful saying you should be more careful, Jungkook suddenly bursts out laughing making Taehyung glare at him as he smacked his hand against Jungkook’s thigh.
“Yah! This was your doing wasn’t it?” Taehyung kept smacking Jungkook, but Jungkook only laughed at that, and it soon made Taehyung join along too. The sounds of their laughs making you smile, not knowing before now how much you longed for some light-hearted laughter.
“Don’t worry about it Y/N, I’m fine,” Taehyung chuckled giving you another grand boxy smile like the one you saw some hours ago.
“You guys are finally awake? That’s great. I just finished breakfast so Taehyung, go wake Yoongi up, and Hoseok, can you set the table? Y/N, I used your kitchen and whatever food you had, I hope that’s ok?” Seokjin said cheerfully standing from behind the kitchen aisle.
“That’s fine-” you said but were interrupted by Taehyung whining out loud at what Seokjin had told him.
“Why must I wake Yoongi up??”
Seokjin only sighed. “Because I said so.”
“Not fair!”
“Yes it is, now stop your whining and wake him up for breakfast, and if he doesn’t want to, tell him I’ll be coming for him next.”
Taehyung visibly swallowed at his words meaning Seokjin surely had an upper hand with these guys. Hoseok had made his way towards your dining table placing eight plates around, while you saw Namjoon in the far corner of the room sitting at your desk where your antique wall clock stood. He was scribbling down something with a focused expression not paying any attention to the boys around him. Jimin was scrolling through his phone on one of your couches and you could see Taehyung worriedly attempting to wake Yoongi up. Jungkook had just stood up from his position on the couch as you looked over to him. He nodded towards the table giving you a half smirk and you gladly walked over with him.
After a more than delightful breakfast to fill you with new energy, you and the boys had left the comfy place you call home to join them as you all headed back to their own home. Namjoon wanted you a safer place and their place would be the best according to him. You admit that had Jungkook not been with you for all of this you would have strongly protested joining them, but seeing the way Jungkook easily conversed and joked around with the other guys, you realized how he must trust them a lot, alas making you do the same.
But it hadn’t only been a cheerful morning for you. As you were finally alone in your room getting ready you had found yourself staring at the necklace your mother had given you for your 16th birthday. The sweet, but painful memories being too much for you and before you knew it you had fallen to your knees crying in silence. Jungkook had found you seconds later asking if you were ready, but realized soon what had happened as he slowly peeked through your door seeing you bent over on your floor. He had cradled you in his arms as you cried your eyes out soaking up his shirt yet again. And you were thankful that none of the other boys had walked in, giving you some time to simply sort your thoughts with the comforting presence of someone you once knew.
When your breath calmed down and your tears had stopped forming you were too embarrassed to look up at Jungkook as you realized the position you were in was quite intimate. You sat in between him with your legs over one of his as he comfortingly held you to his chest. Your fist had clutched onto his black t-shirt and you could see the tear stains protruding on it. Reassuringly for you, he didn’t try to stare you down when he lifted you up by your hands to follow you out to the others.
You were now silently walking down the road with the occasional comments from some of the guys. Your head was still filled with thoughts of everything that had happened and of your parents. Tears were threatening to form again, but they were abruptly stopped as you felt your arm being tugged back forcefully.
“Y/N! Hey! I didn’t see you at the uni today-” the cheery voice speaking abruptly stops. “Oh my gosh, Y/N, are you ok?!”
Your confused gaze met the eyes of the man before you and your tense shoulders sunk again once you saw your friend from your university standing before you.
“Jack.”
The worried expression plastered on his face made you remember how your eyes were probably swollen red and watery. You most definitely looked like a mess, as you never got a chance to clean yourself up. But Jacks words made you also realize that you had in fact completely forgotten about university, making this the first day you ever missed out.
Behind you, Jungkook was the first to notice your figure being dragged away as he quickly signaled the guys about it too. And before you could answer Jack, Yoongi, Jimin and Hoseok had effortlessly grabbed him and pinned him toward the nearest wall. At the same time, Jungkook grabbed you away from Jack with Namjoon stepping forward, toward your friend.
“Who are you? Speak!” Namjoon demanded from Jack, but you were quick to rush to his side avoiding Jungkook’s grasp.
“Namjoon! It’s ok, I know him, he’s a friend of mine!”
Namjoon gave you an unsure glance but quickly ordered Yoongi, Jimin and Hoseok to let him go. You rushed to Jacks side, making something inside of Jungkook twist uncomfortably.
“Jack, are you ok? I’m so sorry about that…”
Jack rubbed his arms glancing at the other guys. “Y/N, can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?”
You nodded to Jack as you did the same to Namjoon reassuring him that there’s nothing to worry about. You both went to stand a few meters away, as Jack looked back to the group of men before addressing you again.
“Y/N, is everything ok?” Jack spoke slowly and quietly making sure they couldn’t hear. His words made you think for a moment. Jack probably thought that these guys were bullying you or making you do something you didn’t want to, you, of course, knowing that that wasn’t the case, but you weren’t super eager of spreading the news that you looked like you did because your parents had just been assassinated for reasons you had yet to learn.
“Don’t worry,” you forced a smile, not really sure if it was convincing or not. “They’re just… Some old friends.” It wasn’t completely a lie, but not the truth either. Honestly, you were just too overwhelmed with everything and even though you were happy Jack was worried, all you wanted was to go to someplace secluded and quiet.
Jack must have caught up on your wish, as he didn’t probe you with further questions, however, his suspicions were still there, and looking at the guys and remembering the force and will they had to protect you with before, made him somehow think that they weren’t just “friends”.
“Y/N, let’s go,” Jungkook suddenly urged making you turn your head toward them seeing how Jungkook narrowed his eyes toward Jack, with Namjoon close by looking pensive at the two of you.
Jack clearly saw Jungkooks threatening stare towards him but wasn’t shaken by it as he returned the stare feeling as protective over you as Jungkook seemed to be. But before you strode back to Jungkook and the others, Jack grabbed your wrist lowering his hand to yours as his thumb caressed the back of it gently; a gesture not going unnoticed by Jungkook.
“Hey, whatever happened, cheer up, ok? And don’t be afraid to call me if anything, got that?”
“Thank you, Jack. I will,” you smiled more real this time.
No words were spoken to you as you caught up with the guys, but unnoticed stares between the two men were exchanged silently before Jack was the first to walk away. Jungkook, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to get the clench in his chest out at witnessing the intimacy between you and Jack and something told him this won't be the last time he meets the man.
Masterlist | Next⇢
A/N: Thank you for reading!! Please, please tell me what you thought by either messaging me or sending me an ask! ^^ All comments, theories, and feedback are appreciated~
#I finally released something haha#jungkook x reader#jungkook#jeon jungkook#bts#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#bts x reader#ot7#mission!AU#used#part 1#kookie#namjoon x reader#yoongi x reader#jin x reader#jimin x reader#taehyung x reader#hoseok x reader#jungkook x you#series#bts series#bts fanfic#fanfiction#jungkook fanfic#scenario#bts scenario#action#fluff#romance
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