#saw an opinion jimmys power that i hate so much

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

do you ever see a take that is just so bad

[brechtian]

hey so ik you JUST got an ask about the waves but. can i ask about the waves too

okay so virginia woolf is like FAMOUS for her feminist novels and to me it almost seems like the waves is the odd one out. i just reread it (and annotated, and underlined, and highlighted, and tabbed, and pronounced it one of my favorite books because HOW COULD YOU NOT ITS SO WONDERFUL AND THOUGHT-PROVOKINGG AND POETIC) and although i love it the female characters seem to have more stereotypically feminine roles. i checked the introduction of my copy (intro by molly hite) and saw that it said "The Waves did not offer such exemplary female characters or themes: Indeed, it gave its female characters stereotypical feminine persuits, while its male characters were writers and also active in the public sphere."

there wasn't much elaboration in the intro however (i might be wrong about this though, i lowkey hate reading introductions it's my fatal flaw i'm sorry) except that later on feminists re-examined the waves and looked at subtext. (like how rhoda is a lesbian icon now bc of the mrs lambert passage)

but still, susan is housewife and mother, a stereotypically feminine role (i adore susan but analyzing characters sometimes means discarding some emotional connection for me) and jinny is the romantic sensualist. idk i love jinny and susan but yk i'm just thinking about their roles specifically regarding gender roles HELP IDK I'M PROBABLY MAKING A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF RN AND AM MISUNDERSTANDING SMTH REALLY MAJOR IM SORRY

i was just wondering your thoughts on this?? i mean i just stumbled across your tumblr a few days ago from this other (kind of boring but likes-the-waves-too) blog and you seem to have really interesting opinions abt the waves !! no pressure to respond obv

Hi!! I’m about to get on a plane to London so I will see if I’m able to get all my thoughts out in time. I’ll begin by saying that I’ve read a fairly considerable body of scholarship surrounding the waves, but none of that was particularly feminism-focused scholarship (it was primarily formalism, biographical crit, and analyses of spirituality, science, & metaphysics in the novel with some post colonialism thrown in), so most of this is based off of my personal analysis and discussions I’ve had with my Virginia Woolf professor. I actually love the women in The Waves, but I think a pivotal starting point is the understanding that all of the characters in The Waves function as concepts and ideas first and as actual people second. With that said, I think it is notable that there is not a female artistic/scholarly presence in the book beyond the vaguely mentioned, never-named woman writing in her room (often viewed as being Woolf herself). Originally The Waves included a narrator character that was female and felt very much like a stand-in for Woolf, and I wonder if that was meant to sort of be the female writer/intellectual presence in the novel but got cut to make the book cleaner. Regardless, each of the women are functioning both as archetypes and commentary on their archetypes.

Jinny is probably the least obviously a critique, but I think you definitely very clearly still get it in some moments where she links sexuality and sensuality with violence and objectification.

I also read some criticism that discusses how Jinny as a character can be seen as combatting the solipsism in the book by conveying the possibility and beauty of living physically in one’s own being & that the flesh cannot be ignored, finding a kind of power and importance in the female body (which feels very cixous second wave feminism). Overall, though, I think it’s a discredit to Woolf to not view Jimmy as an explicit examination of her archetype.

Rhoda & Susan are my girls and my favorite characters in the entire novel. If Susan is not just the most brilliant and breathtaking critique of the wife-mother expectation of women of the time what is. One of the most heartbreaking passages in the entire book to me is when Susan, who found freedom and joy in nature and movement and being one with the outside world (exacerbated by continuous connections between her and animals & nature), is confined to moving exclusively between the rooms of her house. She even immediately evokes the image of the dead mother as she goes. (Additionally, the end of this passage gets into post-colonialist critique, as Susan clearly symbolizes the upper-middle class white women who stayed at home as their husbands colonized India/Africa and directly benefitted from & supported colonization even if they were not actively violently participating)

Susan also holds so so so much anger, like violent fury, the exact opposite of what one would expect from the perfect housewife, and her motherhood is portrayed really as something more animalistic than anything. I also love that her husband is like completely irrelevant to both her and the book; even though becoming a housewife is a horrible restraint placed upon her I think Woolf is playing with expectations by the husband being a nameless shadow and just a vehicle for Susan to get her child (AND functioning as a commentary on the absence of men’s presence and aid in the domestic sphere). I think knowing about Woolf’s opinion of motherhood (continued horror & fascination by it) and her complex feelings surrounding her sister’s motherhood rly adds to understanding why Susan is Like That and so fierce in her nurturing. I also love the passage early on where Susan talks about crumpling the calendar pages in balls and discarding them, her vengeant war against time itself.

RHODA!!! I’m literally getting a Rhoda tattoo that’s my girl my girl!!!!!!! She is psychosis she is transcendence and isolation and mirrors and the waves itself my god. Rhoda is the moon tarot Rhoda is Inland Empire from disco elysium. There is a very fragile membrane between the characters of the waves and Something Larger (my whole capstone paper was on occult spirituality in the waves and my planned future masters thesis will be on ghosts and souls in Woolf’s work), maybe God or the Universe but symbolized in the novel as the ocean of which the characters function as individual waves, but Rhoda is the one for whom this membrane is the most frayed. I honestly don’t know if I have much to say about Rhoda from a feminist perspective other than I find her fascinating and that while I don’t usually encourage overly biographical readings of Woolf it becomes very very apparent if you know Woolf’s diaries and letters well that Rhoda is a mirror of Woolf’s own periods of poor mental health. I guess it relates in that to me Rhoda is of course a woman because she is the most explicitly connected to Woolf herself (in Hermione Lee’s biography, she presents the reading of each of the characters of the waves as members of the Bloomsbury group and Rhoda is picked out as the Woolf parallel. I don’t agree with this reading but it is significant to me how immediately Rhoda is identifiable with Woolf). Okay I’m about to board my flight but if you want to talk any more about the waves or have more specific questions about anything I said let me know!!!

RHODA YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!

[prospectivehero]

I HAVE STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT THE LATEST EPISODE OF MY ADVENTURES WITH SUPERMAN

and I have no one in my immediate vicinity to hear me rant

*spoilers for episode 5*

Clark-"You hated Superman. You said he was a liar, and you were going to find and publish his secrets. My secrets."

Lois-"I would never do that to you. I had no idea it was you until after the gala. How could you think that?"

Clark-"You jumped off a roof! I don't know what to think!"

Clark Kent and Lois Lane have liked each other since the beginning of the series. They become close and trust each other. Aside from Clark thinking Lois is cute, he also respects her ambition and passion for journalism. Even when her hunt for the truth will directly hurt him, Clark doesn't hold that against her. I think Lois loves his kindness and honesty. She can always rely on him to be there for her or anyone he cares about.

But Lois jumped off a building. She knows Clark will always come to save her, and she exploits him and his powers to get the truth.

Lois has to consolidate the honest person she knows Clark is with the liar she's prescribed Superman as. This is not made better now that, in her eyes, Clark has been lying to her. Clark, on the other hand, has been perceived as both an honest man and a liar by the woman he loves in one breath. Lois, who has, in the past, put herself and sometimes Jimmy in danger multiple times, has just proven that she will do anything to get the truth. But as soon as Clark tells her he was afraid to tell her because she is obsessed with finding out who Superman is, she says she would never do something like that. Clark seeing her abandoning her strong convictions about Superman for Clark Kent probably makes him feel conflicted. It's clear that she loves him enough to push aside her fixation, but it disrupts this moral code that was probably one of the things he liked about her most. What is he supposed to think when a piece of information she was willing to jump off a building for is suddenly disregarded?

That's not to mention that Lois feels entitled to the secret identity of Superman because it's her big story. If it wasn't Clark, she'd share this information with the Daily Planet as soon as she found the truth. She never saw Superman as someone who deserved some mercy past her scrutiny until it was Clark. And even after knowing that she doesn't respect that Clark, a person she admires, trusts, and loves, kept this secret from her for a reason. And she doesn't recognize how her actions may be one of those reasons.

I really hope this gets addressed further. There is a lot of nuance in this situation and different perspectives to explore. I know I put a lot of blame on Lois, but she jumped off a building, and I think that needs to be examined. There was so much I wanted to talk about with this scene in particular. I had to ask multiple people how they would feel in this situation because all I felt was conflicted. If you have another read of this moment, or anything related. Please comment or reblog. I know I'm not the only strong opinion and I know there are a lot of takes. This scene has been stuck in my head for several days and I want to talk about it.

[gahtheone]

My Top 5 emo bands!

Against all odds, emo is still a thing, in a kind of nostalgic way, but a thing nonetheless! Let's get a thing straight first: emo is not the same as pop punk. While bands like All Time Low and Yellowcard fall into the spectrum, others like Blink-182 do not (unless we count their 2003 self-titled album, especially Here's Your Letter which even has traces of post hardcore in it). Anyway, I was bored and decided to have my very own Buzzfeed Meets Watchmojo moment. No hate, please and thank you (also, I'm tagging the phandom because I really want to know their opinion).

Here goes nothing:

5. My Chemical Romance

I'm respecting their dislike of the emo label by placing them at the bottom, but asserting my authority as their fan by putting them on the list anyway. Besides, there's a difference between emo as a genre and emo as a subculture. Bullets and Three Cheers? They fall into the genre. I won't say anything about the looks, though, they speak for themselves. Their evolution from post hardcore to pop punk to their own style in later albums has made them icons, not to mention their masterpiece The Black Parade (2006). If I had to pick one song, I'd pick Demolition Lovers.

4. Thursday

Criminally underrated. Blending perfect melodic verses, screamo and powerful riffs, they've made a name for themselves in the post hardcore scene. Their sense of rhythm is something that has set them apart from others, as well as them not shying away from controversial topics (like M. Shepard being my very own LGBTQ+ anthem, representing their disgust at the awful crime that inspired the song). Also, as trivia, vocalist Geoff Rickly produced MCR's first album and even provided backing vocals on This Is The Best Day Ever! (Gerard Way would do the same on Jet Black New Year the same year). Anyway, melodic verses, screamo and riffs, here's my favourite song: Concealer!

3. Sunny Day Real Estate

They simply belong on this list, that's how big their influence on emo has been. Pioneers of the genre, their music, particularly their debut Diary (1994), inspired many bands that followed, becoming an example of how the emo genre should sound and feel: tough, yet sensitive. (Also, see some familiar faces? Hint: after their first break-up, they went to be a part of the Foo Fighters first lineup!). The drums and bass (hint, hint!) on each song went steady but firm, while the guitars were in charge of the melody, and the result was something that took you to Heaven, all the way down to Hell and back to Earth. Take for example one of their best known songs: In Circles.

2. Texas Is The Reason

Few bands can say they made it after just one album and an EP, and that's exactly what this band did. Guitarist Norman Brannon felt that way after the last show of their tour saw the crowd singing their songs, something big for a foreign underground band like they were during the 90s. Their sound was even more expanding, including indie rock into it, creating something unique and lasting, like their only album's opener Johnny On The Spot.

1. Jimmy Eat World

Yes, everybody has heard The Middle and Pain, but this band is so much more than those singles, and I will die on that hill. An example of resilience and musicianship, they had an evolution from the skate punk (their ignored debut album) that was fashionable at the time, to post hardcore (the amazing Static Prevails) to a rock sound that can only be defined as true emo. Fittingly, they have released what is, in my opinion, the greatest emo album of all time: Clarity (1999), unfairly overlooked by its contemporary critics, and now getting justice by gathering a cult following. Don't believe me? I give you Just Watch The Fireworks.

[sunkcost]

I haven't been a jimmy apologist since season 5 but I'm still fascinated by how even now I can't subscribe to the notion that Chuck was right all along. For starters Viktor is way worse than what he thought of Jimmy but at the same time so much different than what he assumed of Jimmy.

i... yeah, lmao. honestly i think maybe i see the character differently than a lot of people because i just don't have the same animosity towards him or desire to see him punished ad nauseum other people appear to. that said, i agree with you. i definitely don't think chuck was right all along. chuck understood parts of jimmy, but he never understood him as a whole person. he was always more willing to see the worst him and refused to acknowledge all the ways that they were similar. the most glaring example of that, in my opinion, is probably the fact that he seemed to assume jimmy's scams or shortcuts were the result of pettiness or laziness, when more than anything they were about trying to correct what he saw as unjust. chuck cut jimmy out of the sandpiper case because he felt he was doing the right thing and defending his principles. jimmy got mesa verde back for kim less as a "twisted romantic gesture," and more because he felt chuck had unnecessarily exploited his power in a way that was fundamentally unfair. kim would have likely never even known he'd done it if chuck hadn't told her. it wasn't to impress her. it was because he thought it was right. the problem of enforcing that sense of justice is its own debate, but it includes chuck just as much as jimmy. the only real difference between the two is that chuck's way was legal and jimmy's wasn't, but the law isn't the last word on what is or isn't moral or right. it's more complicated than that.

i also think that the saul goodman persona and, by extension, the viktor persona is a direct response to chuck, which i think i've said before. i don't think either could be proof that jimmy was always going to become this, and chuck was right all along, because i think the personalities themselves were literally built off of the idea of jimmy that chuck had. jimmy purposefully proved him right. they're reactionary, not organic. that's not to say chuck is solely responsible for making jimmy into this. jimmy made his own choices and acted of his own free will, but you could still argue those people wouldn't exist, or at least wouldn't look the same, without chuck. he helped to create them as they are now, and so you might be able to say that he was always capable of becoming this person, but i don't know if that's the same as saying "this is always who he was deep down," because i don't think that's true. i think that's kind of the whole point, actually. i think saul goodman exists to be unlikable and to be a cartoon version of what everyone, especially chuck, expected he would become, because then when people reject him or hate him or think he's worthless, it's not personal. they don't hate him, they hate this fake person he's created.

this is also probably going to be my most controversial take yet, but while the viktor scams are coming from a markedly more cruel and bitter place than the jimmy scams, which typically had a more idealistic bent, i don't know how much worse they are, like, ethically speaking. stealing from rich business men that he thinks are assholes is kind of like, a textbook jimmy mcgill scam. he's never really been above breaking and entering (there was kind of a whole thing about that if anyone forgot). the drugging is definitely an escalation but i think once you actually get into a debate of "what is a more or less ethical ways of stealing from people" things get pretty fuzzy. we can all agree it's unethical but once you get into "well it's okay/forgivable when he did this but not when he did this" it becomes much more complicated. at what point does it cross the line? what exactly about it, in objective and logical terms, makes it worse than scamming or stealing from people in a different way? don't get me wrong, it's obviously not good. he's clearly at a rock bottom, but i still don't see it as reflective of the 'real him' to the point that i would define him with it. i don't see it as unforgivable or impossible to come back from.

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

There is a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello, Stuck. Sorry, I don’t know your real name.

I wrote this long ass post to bring some light into the fandom and between the CSs, and I hope you can post it? I’m new in the Tumblr world, but not in the 5H fandom. I don’t quite know how it works yet and, for the moment, I only know your blog and those of @emisonme, @karlaswine, @sun-to-my-luna, @underthatimpression, and @mentesimploria because, in one way or another, you’re all connected to each other. I just wanted to tell you guys how much I appreciate every single one of you, the passion you have, and the hope you keep alive among those who, like me, love the girls. Also, the patience you guys have, especially against the haters, is admirable. I love the fact that you keep going. Because this is your sacred place, as it should be.

This is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I’m what can be defined as a ‘silent fan’. I never commented on anything in the girls’ posts, not even on the fan accounts I follow. I don’t have Twitter. I have Facebook but it’s like I don’t have it because I don’t use it. I have Wattpad (obviously). I recently registered here on Tumblr, and I have Instagram. That’s what I use. It’s the only app along with YouTube that I use daily to keep up with the rest of the world. Especially the American part of the world. I’m Italian, but I speak American English well, and I apologize in advance if my lazy ass hasn’t noticed possible grammatical errors. I saw that a lot of you are into this stuff, so I thought I’d add it just because. I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Virgo rising.

I’m gonna turn 29 on December 22, and this is a BIG fuck off to all the people who have attacked you lately for your age. This is personal information that I give freely to make ignorant and small-minded people understand that, in this context especially, age is irrelevant. As you, little fucker who hides behind a computer to attack people just to feel stronger, have a life, we have it too. Like you, we have a life, a job, friends, etc. We also have passions. Passions that yes, my dear haters, also include shipping people. I don’t know why in your stupid brain we’re too old to ship people we love and to give opinions about it. I didn’t know it was something reserved only for those who still smell like mommy’s milk. But anyway…

I became aware of 5H existence just before summer 2015 thanks to ‘Worth It’. Being Italian, however, I had no idea who they were, and to be honest, I didn’t go searching for them. Randomly one day then, I ran into Camren on YouTube. I can’t remember which video I was watching, but I know for sure it was about ‘Heya/Brittana’ (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera/Brittany and Santana, my very first hard LGBT ship). And among the suggested videos, there they are. As ridiculous as it sounds, and although I liked them as soon as I saw them, I didn’t go searching for them. I did it when ‘Work from Home’ came out though. From there, I connected that they were the same ‘Worth It’ group and the same two girls I liked from those YouTube videos. I had officially become a fan. I was screwed. Screwed because, I’d officially entered one of the most messed up and yet most beautiful fandoms ever.

As I initially said, this is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. But after the recent events, seeing how many people gave up, it made me a little angry and gave me the strength to speak for the first time. I thought the first time would’ve been through the fanfiction I’ve been working on for over two years, but no. Lauren and her beautiful mouth had to terrorize, disappoint, panic, and make angry 80% of CS, thus fueling the hatred of all the other fandom towards us. So I decided to speak now. Maybe, just maybe, this very long ass post of mine is gonna help struggling CS. Maybe, just maybe, it’s gonna make them reason and bring them to their senses.

So. This, as I think you’ve understood, is about Lauren and what she said in the podcast. This is a reminder of the Laucy situation. These are things we already know and that I want to remind you of because apparently, my lovely fellows CS, either you have a short-term memory, or Lauren has the power to create amnesia in people’s minds and I knew nothing about it. Surely this power of hers didn’t work on me and a few others.

Oh and, before starting: 1) You may disagree with me. It’s normal to have different opinions. 2) You can search for information such as dates, easily on the internet. 3) I’m gonna use nicknames on PRs for fun. That doesn’t mean I hate them. I have my reasons for dislike each one of them as people, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with the fact that they were or are the Camren beards. An example to make you understand what I mean is Ty. I’m a huge Ari fan and I’ve been listening to ‘safety net’ non-stop for two days straight. I really dislike Ty as a person, but I separate the art from the artist.

Okay, that said, I can start.

Lauren said: “I knew I was queer because I fell in love with my best friend when I was like 15.” – “Her and I started to have a physical connection when I was 15.”

Lauren and Lucid Vivisectionist met when L moved to Carrollton in 7th grade. Lucille moved back to Puerto Rico in February 2012, returning to visit Miami occasionally (this explains the fetus pictures with Lucy and Camren at L’s house). In February 2012, Lauren was 15, Camila 14, and Lucy 16. And who did Lauren meet when she was 15? Oh yeah, Camila. C and L did the first phase of the audition, the ‘cattle call’, on May 1, 2012 in Greensboro, North Carolina. Audition where Camila took courage to speak at the (“Oh my God that girl is) literally so beautiful” girl from which she felt intimidated by starting that adorable brief conversation “Hi, I like your shirt”, “Thanks. I like your jacket” just before it was her turn to get in for her audition. In May 2012, Lauren and Camila were both 15 years old. Lauren and Camila saw each other again for the first time on July 25th, two months later, in Miami on the first day of boot camp, and it was Lauren herself who went to Camila: “You’re the Cuban girl!”. In July 2012, Lauren was 16 and Camila was 15.

Lauren said: “She came back into my life when I was 18. I was on tour and I was in my room in a hotel somewhere, and she called me.” Let me explain to you why I think this is true.

Lauren and Luxy reconnected with each other after Lucy’s car accident that took place on May 15, 2015. Lauren was really 18 in May 2015, and we can rule out The Reflection Tour dates because it started on February 27, 2015, and ended April 6, 2015. We can also rule out these other show dates that 5H did: April 11 in Jackson Township, New Jersey - April 13 at Live! with Kelly and Michael in New York - April 19 Lauren was at Coachella with Keana, Britt, and other friends - April 22 at the Worldwide Radio Summit in Hollywood - April 25 at Radio Disney Music Awards 2015 in Los Angeles - May 8 at Channel 93.3 Summer Kickoff 2015 in Chula Vista, San Diego - May 9 at Wango Tango 2015 in Carson, Los Angeles (May 9, rumors about Camila and Louis Tomlinson just because paparazzi believed they were together when Louis was actually together with Liam outside the Project Club L.A., and C who was at the club next door) - May 15 at KDWB Radio Show in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The rest of their program and possible date: May 16 at Kiss Concert 2015 in Mansfield, Massachusetts - May 19 at Dancing with the Stars in Los Angeles - May 30 at G-A-Y in London (rumors about Lauren and Louis Tomlinson this time, born because 5H went to Libertine nightclub with Louis and Niall) - May 31 at Britain’s Got More Talent in London - June 2 at Capital FM in Birmingham, England - June 5 at Good Morning Britain in London - June 6 at Capital FM Summertime Ball 2015 in London - June 12 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii - June 14 at LA Pride 2015 - June 18 at Jimmy Kimmel Live in Los Angeles - June 20 at B96 Pepsi Summer Bash 2015 in Bridgeview, Illinois - June 23 at San Diego County Fair 2015 - 28 June at Show Of The Summer 2015 in Hershey, Pennsylvania - July 10 at Rockefeller Plaza in New York. July 15, 2015, beginning of Reflection: The Summer Tour.

June 27, 2015 Lauren turned 19, and do you guys remember the events of those days? Because I do.

On June 24, 2015, Lauren celebrated her birthday in advance at the famous sushi restaurant ‘Katsuya’. Among the guests were the girls, her mom Clara, some friends, including Jill (the same Jill/Jillian Gutowitz who worked with Zack Sang and who 5H met on April 22, 2015, at the Worldwide Radio Summit, which lasted for three days but they were present for two: 22 and 23. The same Jill who wrote the article for AfterEllen on January 25, 2016, about her experiences with women who denied their sexuality. Remember the story of Lauren Jordan, right?), and Noah Benardout (may he rest in peace). Still no Lucia, not even on the days when Lauren returned to Miami to celebrate with her family before resuming the program from the 28. As I already said, The Reflection Summer Tour began on July 15, 2015, and Lucy’s first public reappearance took place on one of the tour dates, that is, July 27 at Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

From that moment on, we saw Lucille appear on multiple occasions in hops through time. After the July 27th date, we saw her during the trip to Hawaii with Lauren and Keana in September, followed by the concert that the girls had on October 10 in the Bahamas, where they stayed with their families and friends for a few days. After the Bahamas, the mess happened between 5H because they found out about Camila’s departure from the group which initially should’ve been immediate, but for which they fought and gained another year. That, was also the time when Laucy signed their PR contract. As we know from Lauren herself, that was the worst and darkest time for her. That was the beginning of her numbness.

On October 23, they were on their way to Italy and Lauren wrote on her dark diary, the one shown to us in Episode 8 of her Attunements. On October 24, they arrived in Milan for the MTV Europe Music Awards 2015 occurred on October 25, and on October 28, in Madrid instead, there was the interview with Alyson Eckmann, the journalist Camila flirted with while Lauren was sitting right next to her.

Going forward, in November we have:

- Rumors about Lauren and Julius Dein (his friend who is a YouTube magician).

-The release of IKWYDLS including the rumors about Camila and Shawn and Michael Clifford (who was already in the picture) who were ‘vying for her’.

- Beginning of Lauren’s coming out plan which included: 1) The release of The Vamps’ album on November 23rd, that is, a week after the release of IKWYDLS, and which included the track ‘I Found A Girl’. Joe O'Neill, the manager of The Vamps, liked that famous tweet. Despite the efforts to make us believe that Bleahren (sorry for the Italian pun I made here, but ‘bleah’ in Italian is equivalent to the ‘eww’ to indicate something gross, and therefore Bleah-Ren) Brauren was real and that the girl involved was Lucille and not Camila, they’ve miscalculated since Lauren and Brad ‘dated’ in 2014 when Lucy had not yet returned into Lauren’s life. But since the album and consequently the song came out on November 23, 2015, they tried to manipulate people’s minds as usual. 2) Jill’s article that served to connect and more or less ‘confirm’ the story between this Jordan and her childhood friend, Lauren-Lucy.

- December: completion of the 7/27 album + Dina LaPolt’s entry + renegotiation of the contracts (mostly DNA’s contracts) + FIFTH HARMONY MUSIC, INC. created by LAND on December 21 to prepare for the transfer of the 5H trademark, the FIFTH HARMONY PARTNERSHIP, of which they became owners from April 27, 2016 + change of management from Faculty Management: Jared Paul and Janelle Lopez, to Maverick Management: Larry Rudolph, Dan Dymtrow, and Tara Beikae. [All things that were possible ONLY THANKS to the exit of C from the group]

- January 2016, we have Lauren and Lucrezia who came back from Colombia to then taking a road trip for Lucy’s birthday week.

- Jill’s article came out and coincidentally, by pure chance, exactly two days later, on January 27, 2016, Camila and Dinah were hacked.

- On March 9, 2016, Lauren, Normani, Andrea, Dinah, and Keana went to pierce their ears, or rather, Laurmainah pierced their ears, mama Dre and Keana just accompanied them. During her turn, Lauren asked Keana to take her phone to make a video. In the meantime, Mani was filming Lauren, and again by pure chance, Keana, who was in the heart of the frame, took Lauren’s phone as she’d asked, and both the lock screen and the home screen portrayed a picture of Lucania during a photoshoot. Same picture Lucy herself posted on Instagram on April 10th to leave no doubt.

- April 24, 2016, Coachella together.

- Luciana went with 5H in London, in May, during the promotion of the 7/27 album. (+ Camren video of May 28, 2016)

- She was present during the start of the tour in South America on June 26th (in the evening during the concert, L danced Big Bad Wolf for her, but that’s not the famous video, that was on September 5) and 27th to celebrate L’s birthday together (picture of the 27th of them in Buenos Aires).

- June 27, 2016, on L’s birthday, Jill posted a picture with L from the birthday dinner of the year before, further confirming the story of ‘Jordan’.

- August 1, the national girlfriend day, L posted a picture of her and Lucy.

- From August 12 to 21, Lucy was with them. The night after the concert on the 13th in Rochester Hills, Michigan, videos in which Lucilla appeared during Lauren Fuller’s birthday celebration at the hotel for dinner. On the 14th in Noblesville, Indiana, during Gonna Get Better and Big Bad Wolf Lauren smiled in Lucy’s direction who was in the audience. On the 18th in Virginia Beach, Virginia, a fan met Laucy in a movie theater restroom, taking a selfie with Lauren (C posted a picture of her in the dark with the words of Bad Things “don’t think that I can explain it” the same night).

- On September 4 and 5 Lucippe returned. On the 5th in Houston, Texas, the famous ‘super HD’ video took place in which Lauren danced Big Bad Wolf for Lucy, even pointing to her during her verse. [On September 6, Midland, Texas, during the Q&A, Lauren wore the same dress that Lucy was wearing to the concert the night before, and at the same time, she sat next to C and got jealous when C complimented a fan by sending her flying kisses. Ahh… The irony]

Now. Let’s move on to the part of the podcast where Lauren explains about the kiss with Lucza at her uncle and aunt’s wedding, how her aunt “super innocently” posted the pictures on Facebook that her “unreal invasive fans” found and posted, how Perez Hilton outed her to the world by posting an article with those pictures, how she did nothing for a week, and that after thinking “Ok, it happened. People know. What am I gonna do?”, she wrote that letter against Trump as her own way of coming out.

On November 4, 2016, Lauren and Lucynda did the ‘famous’ photoshoot in New Orleans called ‘Bare With Me’. Lauren flew to NOLA right after Halloween, got back to Miami to vote, then returned to New Orleans on the 10th along with her family for the wedding. Lucianna was also with her on the 10th for the rehearsal/bowling with all of Lauren’s relatives. Meanwhile Orange Trumpeter was elected on the 8th, and many celebrities were preparing to write a letter through Billboard against him and his supporters. Labels and management saw it as a perfect opportunity to get her to come out also considering how much Lauren has always been vocal on the subject, and THEY contacted Billboard to get her to participate in exchange of the exclusive of her coming out. All that was missing was the evidence to make sure that there had been no connection with Camila, and that was the reason for the kiss at the wedding on the 11th.

On November 13, the wedding photographer posted those pictures on his website, including the one of the kiss. And I’m sorry, Lolo, I love you but, really? Who are you kidding? The pictures didn’t start spreading because her ‘unreal invasive fans’ found them on her aunt’s Facebook page where she’d posted them ‘super innocently’. The pictures started spreading after the photographer posted them! And you know what’s even more funny? That to see those pictures on the website, you needed an access password. So what are you saying here, Lo? That your ‘unreal invasive fans’ were so good, to even have hacked their way into the website for pictures they didn’t even know existed? It wasn’t your team, was it? Oh, okay. My bad.

Sarcasm aside. The pictures started to spread, Perez tweeted about it on the 14th, and in the meantime Lauren had time to write the letter that was approved by the labels and sent to Billboard (on the 14th), who approved it a couple of days after it was sent (on the 16th), and which they then published it in the article two days later (on the 18th). In all of this, on November 15, 2016, the girls all went to Epic’s party. Since we know very well that most of the cases of coming out as bisexual in the industry made by a female celebrity occur in succession with the connection with a guy, that night there was the PR proposal between Typo Dolour Signal and Lauren that he obviously accepted, and in fact, he was there that night at that party too (Picture of C with a tear mark on her cheek).

Now, the icing on the cake of the Laucy’s PR: Nicole Cartolano. Nicole is a friend of Lecy’s with whom she had already worked together and who also posted pictures of Lauren on November 17 and 22, 2016, one on December 31, 2016, together with Marian Hill taken backstage after Lauren’s performance with them on the 30th, the night before, for the Snow Globe Festival in South Lake Tahoe, California, and the one of Laucy (with the piñata) on January 10, taken the same night to celebrate Lucilia’s birthday at midnight and that Lauren also used to post it for wish her a happy birthday. That was the last public interaction between the two. *Slow entry of Tympans Dollhouse Signalized in the picture from January 4, 2017, thanks to that tweet*.

On January 21, 2017, Lauren and Lucy were at the same Women’s March, but separately (single), and we haven’t seen them together anymore. LuBYE. On March 22, 2017, both ‘Bare With Me’ and the interview article Nicole did with MTV News (she confirmed that Laucy had been together by having an on-again, off-again for years and also said a lot of other bullshit like the fact that the girls were nervous because they didn’t know how their parents would’ve responded) came out. On August 13, 2018, Nicole officially apologized to Lucy for being angry with her for posting the pictures and therefore for having outed her and for having taken part in the MTV interview without their permission. There was also the screenplay made by Nicole’s mom to make everything even more true.

Bullshit on bullshit on bullshit. Number 1, Lauren herself confirmed in this podcast that her parents knew about her, and said how much she loved Lucre’s ‘I’m out and proud’ part.

Number 2, Nicole posted a preview of the pictures on March 18, 2017, so if she really wanted to stop her before the publication on the 22nd, she would’ve had time to do so.

Number 3, Lucita came out publicly on her own with that Spanish post on Instagram on November 20, 2016, saying in summary that she was anything but straight because she didn’t want to label herself (she did it years later by saying she was a lesbian).

Number 4, as Lusia also confirmed in that post where Nicole’s mom left that comment, Nicole signed a non-disclosure agreement form. If she had actually violated it without having had a release and written consent form, she would’ve been sued.

Number 5, if Luciferase really wanted to have that conversation in private with Nicole’s mom, she might very well have done so. She could’ve contacted her and answered her IN PRIVATE for real, and not via IG where EVERYONE saw and took the side of poor, poor Luckless.

Number 6, the biggest proof that shows the hypocrisy of all this, Lucasta continued to work with Nicole. Their last work dates back to November 25, 2019.

Okaay, sure… sure, because it was normal for her to continue working with the person who outed her, wasn’t it? People’s lies never cease to amaze me. For that matter, Nicole also posted a picture of their ‘adventure’ as they made their way to the photoshoot location on November 1, 2017, and continued to wish them both a happy birthday with posts every year.

And lastly, on June 6, 2020, we have the Lucerne’s video leaked (+ old pictures and videos of 5H) where she burned pictures of Lauren and of the two of them together in 2017, accompanied by the tweets occurred two days later, in which she explained that she was hacked and that she burned the pictures for a closure. Then, exactly 20 days later, that is on June 26, 2020, the PAPER Magazine article of Lauren’s interview came out. What a coincidence! In that article, Lauren explained, along with other things, that she’d been in love with her best friend for 7 years.

Lauren, honey, the maths, the maths… If according to your words you fell in love with her at 15, got together with her at 18, and broken up at 20, how can these be 7 years? It’s 5 years… And as if it wasn’t enough, still according to your words, after 1 year and 8 months (from mid-May 2015 to mid-January 2017), 2 months of which public because of the wedding pictures, of the relationship you wanted at all costs, “all in” and “now we’re gonna be in this relationship”, you broke up with her because she was really toxic, and after less than a month, you started dating an even more toxic person without the proper time to heal?? How do you expect me to believe you? And I’m putting aside the fact that I know they’re both PR relationships. I’m speaking out of logic. How? How can I believe you? How does this make any sense?

Personally, yes, I believe Lauren and Lucy have a past. Lauren’s first kiss was when she was 13 (8th grade) with her boyfriend at the time, Dominic, but I think Lucy was her first kiss with a girl. And I think it happened when she was 15, but in 2011, so long before Lucy left. Lauren dated Paul Martinez from June 4, 2011, to the end of July (around 23/24). From after Paul, until her very first PR at X-Factor, Keaton Stromberg, she was single. I truly believe that before she met Camila, Lauren and Lucy did everything Lauren said. I really believe Lauren experimented with her in secret, but I don’t believe in anything else she said at all.

This is my opinion. And in my opinion, Lauren always knew she was queer, and Lucy was the first with whom she could experience the attraction and the feelings towards girls she had always felt and concealed deep inside herself. But they were friends. Just friends. Friends who messed around and experimented together in secret given the environment that surrounded them. Lucy then returned to live in Puerto Rico and they simply drifted apart because of the distance and Lauren’s busy schedule with 5H. When she came back into Lauren’s life, they rekindled their friendship. Just that. Also because, Camila, hello? Camila entered Lauren’s heart the same year Lucy left and never get out of it. Not to mention that Lucy had a girlfriend, Sarah Scott Narcise, before getting together with Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017. I honestly think that Lucy was also giving advice to Lauren about her relationship with Camila, and I also think that now they really aren’t friends anymore for something we don’t know about, even though I have my theories… But anyway. Lauren needed a beard to be able to come out, Lucy needed visibility for her modeling career and, at the time, also for her music which, however, never saw the light of day. The labels approved because they would’ve done anything to keep their chosen one out of the gay light. Camila also approved. Boom, PR.

I don’t believe all the other bullshit she said during the podcast. Because if they’d been true, they would’ve made logical sense. A sense they’ve been trying, and failing, to give for years. If Lauren really didn’t want to come out, she wouldn’t have done a photoshoot with Lucy a week before the wedding with the intention of using that same photoshoot to come out. She would not have kissed Lucy in a public place during the wedding pictures in front of a professional photographer hired for the event, knowing full well that those pictures would eventually have been published by the bride and groom, her aunt and uncle, and the photographer himself. If she wanted so badly a picture of her kissing her girlfriend, drunk or not, she would’ve taken her fucking phone and take selfies. It wasn’t the fans’ or Perez’s fault. It was the management that was following the plan.

And I’m supposed to, what exactly? Forget all these things, things that have been proofed multiple times in the past, because Lauren, or Camila, or management, or labels, or their contracts, must continue with their stupid narrative? Because Camila must continue to look straight and continue to look in love with Shalt Menstruated because the señorito is about to release his documentary and his album? Because Camila’s movie is about to come out? Because Lauren’s own album is about to be released and because the subject matter of her female-pronounced songs must only and exclusively be related to Lucy? (Although I think her album will be out next year. I think a song with female pronunciation is coming out soon. And no, I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s Burning)

Guys, come on…

Think about it. She used Lucy as a shield to tell part of her story with Camila that happened in 2014. It all fits. Even the story told through songs from Camila’s cocky POV, including ‘Like Friends Do’, ‘Eyes on You’, ‘Cleopatra’, ‘Leave for Good’, and a couple from her last album like ‘Should’ve Said It’ and ‘Feel It Twice’.

I understand why many of you have been hurt by this podcast and by Lauren herself. I understand why a lot of you are angry about the things she said. I see you, I understand, I really do. And everyone is free to feel whatever they want, I’m not saying otherwise. But I really don’t understand why you’re hiding or why you’re abandoning the ship. Authors who don’t wanna write anymore. Accounts closed. Names changed. Hope lost. This, all this, makes me angry and hurt. Because you fell for it. And you know why you fell for it? Because Lauren changed her approach. Leaving aside the part just before when she said: “Even when I talk about it, and I don’t talk about it because I’ve learned to just ignore it because-” and there, I swear I had to pause because I burst out laughing, and I was like: “Bitch, you’re the one who pulled this out of your ass out of nowhere right this second, what are you saying?”. She went on by saying, and she knows us so well because of this: “I just chose to ignore it at a certain point because getting angry to them would it mean that it was real and validate it more for them”.

And it’s true. This non-angry approach of hers, worked like a charm. Lauren’s older, she’s more mature than before. Although she was very nervous, she managed to explain everything calmly. The fact that she was emotional and almost cried in many parts, it really gave an extra boost to what she tried to sell. And I’m not saying she faked almost crying. Hell, no. That was super true and hard for her. I’m saying though, that it’s really easy to manipulate people’s minds, and Lauren used her real pain, the real suffering she has gone through over the years to tell this charade. That’s why it seemed so real. And I’m supposed to fall for that shit just because that’s what they’ve wanted for years, right? Convenient much?

Guys, please. You’re smarter than that, use those beautiful brains. For example, the fact that Lauren said: “I was queer, but she was not”, wrong as you want it to be, and “Camila and I were just really good friends at that time”, yeah, sure, Jan. Doesn’t the very fact that she used the past tense make you realize that it was done to completely detach herself from her IN THE PRESENT? Everything she said was for something. Everything had a purpose. And the goal is always the same. Make us stop shipping ‘em. Putting a label on C only served the Shoestoremila purpose, nothing else. And those were words that came out of the mouth of the one who says she doesn’t like labeling people. The same one who was pissed that someone had outed her before she wanted to. Do you really think she’s that hypocritical?

The fact that she put all the CS in the same box, especially when she talked about the Daddy situation, WAS DONE ON PURPOSE. She couldn’t fail to generalize because their purpose is, and will be for a long time to come, to kill Camren. That means the whole fandom. Not just invasive elements. But really all the CS. The purpose was to make us feel guilty. The purpose is to make us accept that it was never real, and since we care about them, to make us continue to support them individually and not as a couple, even though she knows that the real CS do it regardless. This, is called manipulation, guys.

Think about everything else too. The inconsistency. The holes in her story. The lack of explanations. And the fact that during the story of how it all happened, she jumped from one theme to another and therefore managed to deflect and not completely finish one before moving on to the other, doesn’t it make you understand that she didn’t want to give too many details? And when does that usually happen? She knew we’d analyze her. She knew she couldn’t say too much. When she talked about Lucy, she knew that WE know she was talking about Camila, and with too many details, it would also have been obvious to the others because WE would’ve pointed it out to everyone. I mean, it’s obvious enough in itself, imagine if she’d fed us more information that we would’ve compared in the timeline.

Please, guys. I know that it feels like something’s changed, but it’s not. It’s really not. I’m appealing to all of you. Open your eyes. Reason. I know many of you still have conflicting emotions and feelings, and that’s okay. If you’re still upset, if you still wanna cry, then cry. Do whatever helps you feel better because, especially after the haters have come to bite your asses, you’re entitled to feel the way you do. But please, please, don’t give up. If you give up, you just play their game. You just do them a favor. You guys had invested so much of your time, so much of your passion, so much of yourselves to just, give up. Think of all we’ve been through, especially those who’ve been in the fandom for years. Think about how happy Camren makes you. They were there for you when you needed them. When you were going through hard times. I know they’ve helped a lotta people.

And think about this too. Lauren herself said at the beginning of the podcast: “The news and the media are constantly spinning narratives for your clicks so they can make money”. And what do you think this podcast was for? It’s always the same shit. Have you not noticed how the very same news and media have ALL talked about them? Didn’t you notice how My Oh My magically returned into the charts? How 50ft surpassed the 9 million streams on Spotify? And you still have doubts?

This is instead for the CS who get often angry about their actions. I personally think it’s pointless to blame Lauren and Camila for every single thing they do that has been PLANNED for them. Especially Camila as far as Shonas is concerned. There’s a pattern here too. Lauren had her light PR with Lucia. Lauren then had her heavy PR with Typic Dole Sight while Camila had a light one with Eatchu. And now Camila’s having a heavy one. C’s one is heavier simply because they’re much more famous than PRen (Tyren) were. So, guys, be patient. There’s really no point in getting angry and blaming them. It’s a waste of energy. It’s useless to blame them if they’re gonna continue to do so over the years to come. They’re just still trying to get past their original contracts and survive in the industry at the same time. Sooner or later, I HOPE, they will be free to tell the truth or the truth will come out on its own.

Well, I’m done. Jeez, that was long, wasn’t it? But I hope it was worth it. I hope I’ve cleared your heads a little bit and instilled some hope again. I also hope I made you smile with all those nicknames and my sarcasm. I especially hope that wherever you are, you’re having a good day, and if not, then I hope it has improved at least a little bit with this post. And thank you so much, Stuck. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to use my voice for the first time publicly/virtually. You, above all, keep on being one of the lights and NEVER let them turn you off. I love you guys. Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay patient. With love, F.

I leave you with these two pearls:

Number 1. Lauren said something else too. She said: “Don’t trust me. Go research. Go look this shit up yourself”. I know she said it for a completely different context, but I found it really funny given the situation.

Number 2. This is a small scene that automatically created itself in my head as soon as I finished listening to Wonder. I titled it: The sad and short story of the making of ‘Wonder’.

Enjoy:

*on the phone*

Shawl Mendicant: “Hey, buddy. I know you were a huge Fifth Harmony fan and I know you love my fake girlfriend, so I was thinking… could you help me? You know, I need her to stay relevant, but to do that, I also need to release music and completely take all the credit from other people because, you know, the most I do is change a sentence or two in my style to make people think that I wrote all my songs.”

Sam Smith: “………okay?”

Shawnita Menorrhagia: “So, I was wondering, can I copy your homework? You can totally refuse if you want to, but I’m hoping to appeal to the love you have for 5H and Camila, and maybe help a friend out?”

Sam Smith: “Yeah, sure, you can copy my homework. Anything for my girls. Just, change it up a bit so it doesn’t sound too obvious you just copied it.”

Shonas Mended: “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Thanks, man.” - *ends the call*

Sam Smith looking at the phone with an incredulous expression and one hand over his heart: “I came out as a non-binary, you insensitive asshole!”

Shoes Mentionable from the other room: “Cameeela! He said yes!” *reaching then Camila and Lauren in the living room where Lauren is lying with her head resting on Camila’s legs who’s running her fingers through her hair with one hand and holding the book that she’s reading with the other one* “You were right, all I had to do was mention you girls.”

Lauren chuckling and continuing to pet Cleo who’s lying at the foot of the couch with one hand: “Told you”, to then adding: “And please, I know you’re excited because of the news but keep your voice down”, continuing to caress Sofi’s head who’s sleeping on top of her with the other one.

Shapeless Mentality: “Oh, sorry.”

Camila without looking away from her book: “Sam’s really nice. I’m sure they would’ve said yes even without the need of mentioning us.”

Lauren: “Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, babe. Yes, they’re very nice, but we’re powerful in their minds, so it was an added incentive for them to say yes.”

Shaved Mentholated: “Who are they? Weren’t we talking about Sam?”

Camila who was giggling at her girlfriend’s words:

Lauren:

Sinu from the kitchen:

Cleo who was nibbling her toy:

Even Thunder, Leo, and Eugene from outside into the yard:

*the end*

Chon Mendable: ‘Wonder’ - Sam Smith: ‘One Last Song’

____

OMG I am speechless. I’m really still digesting this whole story because it’s amazing but I wanted to start by saying hello to you and telling you my name, my name is Marite. It is a pleasure to meet you dear friend. I don’t want to write too much because your words are much more important than mine but I wanted to thank you for trusting me and my blog to tell me your story. That side of the story that, being new and not having been a harmonizer from the beginning, I never learned. I intended to ask for more information about Laucy’s Timeline but what you have told is a gem. A gem that shows that the bastards of the industry cannot fool the fans because we pay attention to everything and it is not easy for us to fall for their shit. I think the power we fans have is so great that if we all came together, we could bring down this whole fucking fake empire that they have created. That said, Laucy’s story is surprising. As planned and how each person involved had to do their part on the chessboard. Incredible. Now that you tell me that story, I think it fits the one I wrote in my once upon a time post. Sure, yours is true and has everything that mine doesn’t. I have tried to keep this blog open for all who wish to come and air their ideas, their thoughts, their tea. And you dear friend, you have been one of the best so far. You’ve given us that support that the fandom so badly needed and I really appreciate it. I also appreciate your humor, the nicknames have been so hilarious and I’m still laughing. Thank you for daring to tell this part of the story and reopen the can of worms of a PR that right now resurfaces with that Lauren interview. With a purpose, it’s true. And something tells me that we will see much more very soon. Thank you for your support, my friend. And you know, you have my blog at your disposal for whatever you need. And if you need to talk or anything else. I greatly appreciate that we can continue to keep this ship afloat among ourselves. Among a group of intelligent people who have been hurt by someone we have always loved very much even though we know the reason for all that. We can’t give up now because if we do it like you say they will win and I personally don’t plan to indulge them in that. Thank you very much for all dear friend and I hope you have a nice day. I send you a hug and I hope you stay safe.

[childofaura]

I finally got to watch the Trollhunters movie...

And it was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Waited to watch it so I could watch it with my friend, and good thing too because boy, we were screaming.

Spoilers under the cut, with my criticisms:

So the only pros I could really say we had:

1. Strickler and Nomura were back.

2. The animation was pretty cool.

And that’s it. That’s pretty much the only thing I can think of that was positive about this film.

Nnnnow, we’ve got the criticisms:

1. Nomura and Strickler’s deaths. Holy hello, can you say “cheap-shot deaths”? Also you’d have thought that Nomura would have died earlier given that they were at the top of the Titan with no cover. Couldn’t they make armor, or something? Either way my queen didn’t deserve that death.

2. Needless conflict for Jim feeling like he’s not fit to be the Trollhunter anymore; literally everyone felt like they couldn’t stop the incantation unless Jim’s amulet was working?

3. Steve was reduced to the shallowest character I could imagine. Also... the pregnancy thing? Really? Were they trying to top off Jimmy Neutron in most awkward alien pregnancy? And I guarantee that joke wouldn’t fly if the genders were reversed, but apparently teen pregnancy’s a funny joke when it’s a guy :/ (inb4 people say “it’s just a joke”: Yes I know. But like I said, reverse the genders and I know people would throw a shitfit).

4. The cat-dragon (I can’t be bothered to remember his name, I’m sorry) did not even feel like a sacrifice. You’re telling me the Chinese trolls can’t just make another horngazel? Speaking of which, the horngazel just... breaks? No rhyme or reason to it, a thing that has never had durability issues breaks so we can have story-driven conflict.

5. Everything about Tobes’ death. This series has spent so much time minimizing Tobey being Jim’s friend in favor of giving Jim more screen time with Claire, so much that it feels like they saw Tobey as enough of a lesser character that it was safer to kill him off. His death felt more insulting than honorable.

6. The whole plot in general just felt... underwhelming. You give the sorcerers (I refuse to call them gods, they couldn’t do jack shit unless they have something to boost their powers) these crazy time-traveling relics, something that could... I dunno... be used to pull back villains from the past (Bullar, Gunmar, Zeron Brotherhood, Morando, King Arthur, etc), liven up the antagonist cast a bit, and all it’s really used for is making big Titans that through a really crappy plot twist can destroy the world.

7. People will hate me for this, and it’s fine, I don’t care: Everything involving Claire. This is all my subjective opinion so if you don’t feel this way, that’s totally okay, but: Claire is the most shallow two-dimensional female character in the show whose only drive is just Jim. And it just gets worse through the series. She’s supposed to be the “wahmen empowerment” character that female viewers are supposed to connect with, but I’ve only ever hated her. The movie (And the series in general but let’s focus on the movie) makes her unbelievably powerful when plot demands it, useless when it’s needed, and motivated by absolutely no one else but Jim. Literally nothing can hinder her or make her suffer consequences; Make a giant portal despite being “spent”? Oh she just faints for like five minutes and she’s awake and perfectly fine just in time for the plot. Going to the Chinese Troll Market without bringing a weapon? That’s okay, she can just disarm a guard and use a weapon literally physically impossible for her to wield due to the weight difference, and something she’s never had training with.

Let me just say we were absolutely cheated to have not gotten Book Claire. We could have had a Scottish descendant of a warrior race who actually has standards, but instead we get someone unworthy shoe-horned into the role who was made more important than she really should have been.

8. That whole ending, like... what? The point of the amulet is that it’s supposed to have chosen the one it thought was the most worthy. I get that in the fake time-travel episode of Season 2, if Jim hadn’t accepted it, it would have gone to someone else, but there’s no way it would have just automatically switched to Tobey. And what is that supposed to mean, now? Isn’t that just gonna fuck up Jim’s relationships with everyone? Blinky won’t be his mentor and therefore won’t become the surrogate father figure, Strickler won’t go through his trials with Jim because he’s not the one he has eyes on as a target and therefore won’t bond, Draal will no longer be Jim’s brother-in-arms... did they get a greenlight to make a what-if season or is this the end, and it’s supposed to be left up to our interpretation? And how is THAT supposed to save Tobey?

9. Also an added note: Naari’s death had no impact. You killed a character whose build-up to the main cast was all done off-screen between seasons. Did I like Naari? I did, she was cute and well-designed and I liked that she was so fond of Douxie. Did I feel sad when she died? Not really. Also, what the hell was with the inconsistencies of the Titans and the sorcerers? They didn’t explain if they could only be felled by each other or not, you’d think the bombs would have hurt the ice guy when they exploded, but the golem just re-creates itself again; but suddenly Naari stabs him and THAT hurts?

This whole thing was a mess. My other friend was right, I can see why this movie made people mad.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Pretty good episode this week, all in all. As per usual the highlight was absolutely Dylan and Paula (love that we got a Dylan episode on Autism Acceptance Day!), and the brilliant screen chemistry between William Beck and Rosie Jones. But first, I’m going to have to discuss what everyone was waiting to see tonight, something that I am unsurprisingly bitter about:

Fletch’s cameo. It was just as disappointing as it sounded, and as the small snippet shown on the Casualty Twitter made it look.

There’s something about Jac’s death being acknowledged on Casualty that’s more upsetting to me than Jac actually dying was. Maybe that’s just because I’ve been disregarding most Holby canon over the last few years anyway so it’s only Casualty acknowledging it that makes my mind realise it actually happened, but it’s how I feel. To quote an anon from a few days ago, who put it better than I could:

“I think it’s the double whammy of Casualty actually doubling down on it when they’ve outright ignored so much Holby canon and undeniably do not share an exact canon, and it being Fletch doing it via talking to freaking Charlie. It’s like disrespect on top of disrespect. especially since Rosie [Marcel] wanted to move over to Casualty and not only is Connie not even there for it but they didn’t bother to have it be a scene between like, David and Dylan who actually interacted with Jac.”

Casualty have overlooked and ignored about the same amount of Holby canon as I have, lmao, over the last few years. They ignored Gaskell’s serial killing. They ignored Cameron’s serial killing. They ignored the hospital being put in special measures - something that would literally have DIRECTLY affected the ED. They ignored MARTY’S MOTHERFUCKING COUSIN DYING, for fuck’s sake.

But they had to acknowledge this? Why? Connie’s not there anymore. They’d either have to address it or be forced to directly retcon it if Connie was there, there would be no getting out of addressing how it would affect her, because it would undeniably have a very deep impact. They could at the very least have just left it alone. Or, again, straight up retconned it. That would have been the ultimate power move tbh.

I hope they hadn’t been told Rosie Marcel wanted to switch shows. If they were made to believe she was okay with Jac being killed off, then I’d get it! I’d still hate the way they went about acknowledging it, but I’d understand acknowledging it at all. If they did know, then this feels like a slap in the face. I hope she at least gets cast in a new role eventually, she deserves that much, and Jimmy Akingbola did it (played a lead role on HolbyBlue, then played Malick on Holby after HolbyBlue was cancelled) so there’s a precedent.

As for the actual scene itself - I get Casualty wanting to have Fletch be the one to talk about this, given he’s an original Casualty character. I get why they’d want to have him cameo instead of Elliot or Sacha. That’s not my issue. If he’d been there to talk about Jac as a friend, I’d be fine with that. My issue is with this just seeming like one last way to disregard the Sacha/Jac friendship in favour of a Fletch/Jac romance. Fletch was NOT “as close as [Jac] let anyone get”. That was Sacha. SACHA was the person she let closest to her. This isn’t even a matter of opinion, this isn’t a matter of whether you shipped Jac and Fletch or not, it’s an objective established fact. Even those who shipped Flac would, I’d imagine, agree that Sacha was still the closest person to Jac and that that shouldn’t just be ignored.

I just. Ugh. Sorry. I hate everything about this. And I particularly hate that all we saw of David this week was him gossiping about Matthew’s complaint against Stevie, with no acknowledgement of his friendship with Jac. (I understand Dylan not acknowledging it. They were friendly but I wouldn’t call them friends, unlike her and David. And he has the Paula stuff to be focusing on.)

Rant over. Onto the best storyline on Casualty at the moment, and possibly the best in years: Dylan and Paula. Their scenes tonight were as great as ever. (Also proves why the people saying “Casualty should’ve been cancelled instead of Holby!!” are wrong... could you imagine Holby ever doing a storyline like this? No. Because they wouldn’t have. Casualty, however, actually cares about disabled representation, so here we are.) I adore their friendship so much, I really do. William Beck and Rosie Jones just work so well together.

As I said in my last post, I’m really kind of starting to ship Dylan and Paula now to be honest. They’d still make a much better couple than him and Faith, that’s for sure! And they’d just have such great chemistry.

Their scenes tonight were so well-written. The argument, Dylan apologising, the scene at the very end of the episode where Paula found out her tribunal was next week... all so brilliantly done, and perfectly acted too.

It’s so sad to think we only have one more episode of Paula. I really, really hope she manages to get Ena back. (If she doesn’t, I don’t think it’ll have good consequences for Dylan’s mental health, either...)

I liked the stuff with Ellen too. I thought the way it was written was really good.

And seriously, can we talk about Rosie Jones’s acting in the last scene? She was INCREDIBLE. Her line delivery of “I’m not ready”... Paula just broke my heart there. :(

The Iain stuff was eh. I find the actual storyline interesting but Iain bores me, so the fact that he’s heading it up is... not ideal.

I liked that they bothered having aftermath to Matthew’s complaint against Stevie even though neither of them were on shift. I know that’s like, the bare minimum but I got so used to everything being ignored on Holby so it’s a relief when Casualty actually remembers things happened and that the rest of the hospital would be talking about them or affected by them.

And I thought the patient story with the farmers was really good and interesting and powerful. Between the male farmer’s struggles and the Dylan/Paula/Ellen storyline focusing on their shared experiences with alcoholism, there really seemed to be a theme of mental health in tonight’s episode. I loved that.

[amandaklwrites]

Movie Review: Practical Magic (1998)

Genre: Drama/Fantasy/Magical Realism

Rating: 10/10

Movie Review:

I love this movie. I think I somehow loved it even more the second time around. I love how that can even be possible.

Now, I will start out by saying that I had only watched this movie for the first time like two or three years ago, after reading the book. So, I never grew up with this movie, I never saw it growing up at all. I saw it as an adult. For someone who loves witchy things, I don’t know how this one escaped me for so long. It just never came about.

About a week or so ago, I was having a really rough time. I had just purchased this DVD at my work when I realized I personally didn’t own it. So, in some weird twist of my feelings, my mom and I watched it really late at night, the night before a storm rolled through. Which was pretty appropriate in my opinion.

And I loved it even more this time. It lifted my spirits, it brought me back to myself, it reminded me a lot of things of myself.

Like I said, I read the book before watching this movie that few years ago, and I did like the book a lot. But I think after reading Hoffman’s latest book, Magic Lessons, about their ancestor Maria Owens, and loving the shit out of it, I found even more of an appreciation for her other books (I’m planning to read the other books from this “world” really soon, so I’ll make some book reviews soon). So, I think that’s also why I loved this movie even more so now than I did before.

The top thing I love about this movie is the feeling of it. If you’ve seen this movie and love it, you’ll know what I mean. I like that it’s set in our own world, but it doesn’t have the feeling of urban fantasy (think Shadowhunters and such). It just feels like everyday life, but this family has some extra powers. They’re mystical, mysterious, but not evil. So, in some interesting way, it doesn’t make the movie feel out of place or fantastical. But that there could be that strange family that lives on the end of your street that everyone calls witches, and in fact, they are.

Then, I love the two main sisters. Sally and Gillian couldn’t be any more different. They’re the complete opposites. And they seem like typical series—they argue, they fight, but they love one another deeply. I think some of their deep connection comes from the shared trauma—they lost their father, and then their mother, and they were all that they had in the world. To me, if that wasn’t factored in, I don’t think they would be as close as they ended up being. I’m not saying that they wouldn’t have loved and cared about one another as much. But that their connection to each other wouldn’t have been the same. Yes, they had their aunts, but ultimately, they only had each other. They grew with one another through that sadness, through looking at the world in this specific lense. They protected one another even more ferociously because they understood one another and they didn’t want the other to be hurt. Though they didn’t get along all the time, and maybe Sally didn’t agree with Gillian’s decisions, she still rushed off to help her sister get away from an abusive bastard without a second thought. That is the bond of sisters, especially their sisterhood.

Personally, I like Sally. Not that I hate Gillian or anything. I like Gillian—I think she’s worldly, she’s different, she isn’t afraid to be who she is. But I think she also has insecurities for her to constantly be with these same men who aren’t… let’s say, they aren’t the greatest. And she had to know that Jimmy Angelov wasn’t the best guy, so why even bother? But that’s because she has her own personal issues and doesn’t think that great of herself (trust me, I read her like a book, because I have been very similar most of my life). At least with this rewatch recently, I connected with Sally WAY more. Her and I have similar personalities—though, I’m fine with being different, I would prefer to have powers than pretend to be “normal.” She’s a lot more analytical and grounded and serious about things, like me, and tries to keep on a certain path. She loses her husband and falls apart (I haven’t had this, but I feel like I would react the same). I think her character arc/personal journey was more of my thing nowadays. She had to let go of controlling everything, that not everything was “normal” or had to be a certain way. She had to let go of some things, to let the universe take its course and she should just enjoy it along the way. That feels more like me.

The other characters were great too. I think the aunts, Frances and Bridget were polar opposites as well (do you see the pattern of two sisters, that are quite different from one another—think of Sally and Gillian, the aunts, even Sally’s daughters). But they balanced one another out, and that was why they worked so well together—which is the case with Sally and Gillian. Dianne West and Stockard Channing played the sisters so effortlessly. Goran Višnjić as Jimmy Angelov was both sexy and disturbing, but he did it so well (too well, honestly), and I personally think he’s a fantastic actor from other stuff I’ve seen him in (any Timeless fans here???). I liked Aidan Quinn as the detective, Gary, and a love interest for Sally. Their personalities worked so well. OH! I nearly forgot! Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman were PERFECT in this movie! I love them both so much, especially everything I see Sandra in, and they were these characters. Not playing them, they just were.

(Fun movie fact that I learned: in the scene where Sally, Gillian and the aunts get drunk? They were drunk filming! They wanted to make it feel more real, so they all started drinking and the director started filming it all. I think that was such a nice touch).

I will say, I didn’t love the whole exorcism thing in the movie. I get the point of it for the movie, and it is Hollywood guys, plus it did make the story more “exciting” in that climax. And though I do agree that there can be malevolent energies that linger, but I don’t personally believe that there are evil spirits that want to take over bodies. But that’s my own personal beliefs, so I can’t speak for everyone. I just didn’t care for that, but it made for some good aspects in that scene.

At the heart of this movie, it’s about love. Which, honestly, is what every story in this world, whether fictional or real life is about. It’s about the sisters’ love for one another, it’s about how they love out in the world. Sally had loved and lost, and has to learn to love again, including herself. Gillian has to learn that some of what she feels isn’t love, and that love is kinder to you than she had been treating herself/letting happen. And they both get through it all with their love for one another. My god, that scene where Sally talks to Gillian to come back to them during the exorcism is so powerful and heartbreaking, and I cried watching it. That these two sisters love one another so much that Sally wasn’t going to let Gillian let go and leave this world because everything hurt (physically and emotionally and mentally, I think could be said here). Sally was the only one who would get Gillian through that moment, because she had to go through the similar thing with her loss. Even all the women showing up to help with the exorcism is a form of love (though, I did wonder why some of these women suddenly were okay with coming and helping, but it must connect back to what I had said). This was love and women coming together to help each other, to support one another, which I think the world needs more of. And this movie reflected it.

I love the feeling I get from watching this movie. I love the house they live in (why couldn’t it be real?!). Every time I watch this movie, it makes me wish I had a sister of my own, because though I have close friends or a friend that grew up with me like a little sister, I have never had this connection like Sally and Gillian had. I’m an only child, so no siblings at all. And though I know it can’t be pretty all the time (from what I have seen with friends who have siblings, and even things that happen in this movie), I always wanted someone to have my side like these two, someone I share blood with, that has literally seen every side of me. It’s beautiful to watch in this movie, especially in that scene when Gillian shows up to Sally during her grief and they just talk all night. That exactly is what I had always wanted. So this movie makes me feel wistful too while watching it.

It’s really a beautiful movie, that shows the darkness of the world and people, while delighting us with the magic as well. The magic of the world, the magic of fantastical nature, and the magic of love. Because though you may not be able to make a spoon stir your tea for you, there is magic all around. You just have to look for it.

This movie is one that has become a favorite and has a special place in my heart. It’s just wonderful and awe-inspiring.

[cultofbeatles]

beginners guide to the members of led zeppelin (kind of)

a disclaimer before anyone starts reading: we all know led zeppelin is shady as hell and we hardly ever get anything confirmed or denied around here. so some stuff is up for speculation. everything in this post are things i've read in books, heard in interviews, or got from some other source. when it comes to “facts about led zeppelin” sometimes you gotta take it with a grain of salt. but honestly it’s led zeppelin we’re talking about, anything is possible. also this is all in good fun and giggles. with that being said, let’s get started with introductions to the members themselves.

jimmy page 

james patrick page 

born on January 9, 1944 

he’s a capricorn sun, cancer moon, and scorpio rising so you just know he’s a crazy motherfucker 

was an amazing session guitarist and basically everyone wanted him 

went to art school bc he’s just talented at everything i guess 

if you didn't know already he played the guitar for Joe cocker’s ‘with a little help from my friends’

declined his first offer to join the yardbirds but later decided to join 

was the last member to leave the group

basically was the leader of led zeppelin 

was gifted a telecaster guitar by his friend jeff beck and he adored it 

and he painted a cool dragon design on it 

played on it for the first led zeppelin album 

when he was on tour one of his friends painted over his dragon design and ruined the guitar 

he produced all of led zeppelin’s albums and is responsible for the remastering of those same albums 

paid for led zeppelin’s first album to be produced with his own money

deadass would have whips and handcuffs around with him on tour for the groupies 

but was apparently an amazing lover and cared for the people he slept with

one time he got naked on a food cart thingy, put whip cream over his body, and had john bonham push him into a room with groupies in it 

has such a small and soft voice 

was fascinated in aleister crowley and his work

would collect crowely memorabilia 

even bought crowley’s boleskine house 

had a bookstore at one point so he could get books easier 

struggled with addiction to drugs for most of the seventies 

went on a liquid diet late seventies and refused to eat solid food 

he got really skinny bc of it :( 

miss pamela (one of his girlfriends/lovers) once said that jimmy cried on the phone to her over her playboy photoshoot lmaoo

once flied pamela’s pet raccoon in first class 

allegedly had a relationship with lori maddox who was about 15 years old 

laughed as two of his girlfriends were fighting each other 

was kind of constantly nervous about his and the band’s image

has amazing guitar solos and improvisation but damn sometimes they drag on foreverrrr

deadass scared the shit out of david bowie so much that he had his house exorcised and would avoid jimmy at parties 

we love demons 

zoso

he’ll never tell us what zoso means and I'm mad

had two people die in his home. one was a friend who died from a drug overdose, and the other was john bonham when he died from choking on his vomit.  

has been accused for the deaths of john bonham and robert plant’s son karac bc of that stupid “curse” rumor

deserves critiques for several things but doesn't deserve hate for that 

has been through a lot and come out pretty okay

produced his current girlfriend’s, scarlett sabet, spoken poetry vinyl 

check out scarlett’s work bc it’s amazing

would probably always be down for another led zeppelin reunion 

robert plant

robert anthony plant 

born on august 20, 1948

this is the most attractive man ever. do not argue with me. 

nicknamed percy 

wasnt jimmy’s first pick for a singer 

jerry reid suggested robert to jimmy. and when jimmy asked what he looked like jerry said, “like a greek god.”

jimmy thought something was wrong with robert when he first found him bc he was such a good singer and hadn't been signed yet 

after a practice together jimmy knew he had his singer 

he would call robert “the young guy with the powerful voice.”

he thought about leaving the band early on bc he was so nervous about being in it 

convinced john bonham to join the group bc they were the bestest of buddies 

he’s not credited on the first album bc he was still under another contract 

started song writing for the second album by jimmy’s memory 

it didn't take long for him to gain confidence and start owning the stage 

once when he was performing a dove flew in his hands 

there’s an audio of him singing john bonham happy birthday and it makes me so happy 

he would call himself a greek god 

would party with john bonham a lot 

kind of the hippy of the group 

moans moans moans and even louder moans into the microphone 

would wear women’s shirts and looked amazing in them 

nurses do it better 

not to mention his super tight jeans 

we all know his dick is huge and he’s just showing it off 

has the prettiest, fluffiest blonde hair 

and the sweetest smile 

can you tell that i find him attractive yet?

has a fear of earthquakes 

also supposedly had some sort of a relationship to an underage groupie named sable starr (14)

also has a fear of led zeppelin nowadays 

either fear or amnesia 

it’s likely that he’s the reason we’ll never get another led zeppelin reunion 

though a close friend thinks that if the show went to charity robert would probably do it 

robert loved john bonham too much to play in led zeppelin without him

and i respect that a lot 

no matter how much he’s offered for a show he turns it down every time

in 1975 he got in a severe car crash and ended up being in a wheelchair 

still went on to record zeppelin’s album 

once while recording on crutches and started to fall and jimmy apparently zoomed in to save him. robert never saw him move that fast before

his five year old son (karac) died from a sudden stomach illness while he was in america on tour

absolutely crushed him 

was deeply upset that neither jimmy page or john paul jones reached out to him during that time of his life 

john bonham was there for him though 

robert apparently never forgave them for that 

a car he was working on fell on top of him and crushed some of his ribs as well 

late seventies was not a good time for robert plant 

but he got through it all like a champ

hates stairway to heaven with a passion lmao  

one time he paid a radio station a shit ton of money just to make sure they'd never play stairway to heaven again 

almost didn't sing stairway for the 2007 reunion but ended up agreeing to it after all 

he said he breaks out in hives when he has to play that song 

he and jimmy made their own symbols. robert’s is the feather inside the circle 

in 2007 he won beard of the year 

john bonham

john bonham 

born on may 31, 1948

nickname is bonzo

oh boy, there’s a lot of stories about bonzo 

he was known as the nicest and sweetest guy ever 

unless he was drunk 

he drank a lot :/

denied jimmy’s offer to join the group and continued to deny it until robert convinced him 

once flew the starship (led zeppelin’s plane) even though he didn't have a license to 

hated touring so much 

he always missed his family 

so he drank 

he was so damn crazy when drunk that the other members would book rooms floors above where his was so he wouldn't disturb them

tore about his hotel rooms like no other 

he has a son named jason bonham who he loved a lot 

bought him a nice drum kit when he was younger 

jason is just about led zeppelin’s biggest fan next to jimmy page 

one time bonzo broke a girl’s vibrator when drunk

also punched a girl in the face when drunk once bc she waved at him 

partly responsible for the famous mud shark story where a girl was apparently fucked with a dead shark by him and zeppelin’s tour manager 

liked cars a lot 

really really loved his family. cannot stress it enough

was irked that john paul jones got out of playing shows during the christmas holiday and he didn't 

punched robert in the face once too 

him and john paul jones equals the best rhythm section ever 

jimmy would call it magic how well him and bonzo got along 

bonzo could handle anything jimmy threw at him 

he wasn't really a part of it, but he had to go to jail bc peter grant and two other dudes almost killing a man (long story omfg, but apparently the doctors had to put the dude’s eyeball back into his socket)

was there for robert when karac died 

they were really good friends 

there’s an interview with them together where bonzo is laughing at robert about his little farm 

gave good hugs apparently 

played drums like no other could and knew he was good 

but still sometimes got insecure and got upset when someone he looked up to said his drumming wasn't all that special 

his symbol is the three rings and he picked it out of a book like john paul jones did his 

he died in jimmy page’s house (not the crowley house btw)

he had to drink the equivalent of 40 shots of vodka and choked on his vomit in his sleep 

led zeppelin died on the same day 

nobody can replace john bonham 

his son filled in his role for the 2007 reunion show and did an amazing job of it. the whole show is on youtube, go check it out

john paul jones

 john richard baldwin 

born on january 3, 1946

nickname is jonesy 

was also a session guitarist like jimmy 

they had worked together before 

when he found out jimmy was forming a group he called jimmy and was basically given the spot immediately 

not only was the bassist but also the keyboardist 

and could play the recorder 

insanely talented. put some respect on his name 

he talks in italics i swear to god 

i don't have mainly crazy stories about jonesy bc he wasn't about that life 

deadass he would go on stage, perform, walk off stage and go to a whole separate hotel from the other

he would only tell one person where he was at and told them not to call unless for super urgent emergencies 

pissed peter grant off so much lmao 

wasn't really super close to anyone in the band tbh 

but bonzo was probably his greatest friend in the band 

jimmy and robert kind of leave him out in my opinion 

or they use to 

when he found out that jimmy and robert were making their own symbols instead of picking out of a book like he was he said “of course!”  and laughed 

was pretty much left out of the live aid show 

he had to squeeze himself on the stage and wasn't even able to play bass. he had to play the keyboard 

“and thank you to my friends for finally remembering my phone number” -savage as hell john paul jones 

he was one of the two people who found john bonham dead 

it’s sad to think about

is actually quite funny

he has this kind of dry humor?? idk but it’s amazing 10/10 content 

when john paul jones walks into the room interviewers break into a sweat

managed to look like a completely different person every year throughout the seventies or is it just my eyes?

has an Instagram account now go follow it for cute throwback photos lol

that’s all i really have for generic useless information about led zeppelin members for beginners. i hope it was somewhat entertaining. i'll make some more beginners stuff for led zeppelin. i will make y'all stan them lmao. i'm tagging @babygotblueeyes​ bc i know for a fact you want to get into them <3

[loismagic]

After reading your tags I’m dying to know your opinion on Bloe Sullivan. I can’t stand her or her jealousy/possessiveness when it comes to Lois relationship with Clark.

lmfaooooo WELL ahem *cracks knuckles* in this essay, I will- nah but she’s the absolute worst. She annoyed me from day 1. I used to watch the show back in 2004+ for a bit (casually) and then (re)watched it a few months back and my god- she IRRITATED ME SO MUCH. And that didn’t change. She has maybe done like- a few good things. Giving Lois Clark’s vows, telling Clark to ask himself what he wanted in Crossfire, and saved Lois. But that’s about it lmao This might me long so I’m going to put the rest under a cut...

I always thought she guilted Clark into liking her back in season 1, leading him to ask her to the dance and kiss her. She was jealous of Lana for just hanging around Clark, felt oddly possessive of Clark. And of course my poor sweet man just- felt like he needed to show her he cared? It was so toxic fuck. So, that will always irritate me. Her- oh Clark you have eyes for Lana but not me?? But I’m always there for you, I do it alll for you Clark can’t you see???!! And she keeps that entitled attitude for the rest of the series.

I also thought it was the dumbest thing when- just as I thought she was getting over him loll- she cornered and kissed him in the s5 finale because she thought the world was ending like no wtf.

ALSO the time she got infected by kryptonite and had the power to bring out the truth in people and THE FIRST THING SHE ASKED CLARK WAS HIS SECRET. Goddamn it Chloe this is why you never win. 

And then oh- when Lois comes and she gets that look ™ on her face during the dunk tank scene. It’s amazing because Avril is playing in the background and Clois might as well be reciting their vows in front of Smallville high. She looked like a kicked puppy (narrator: well she was a bitch so).

Then Hex comes along and honestly, side note real quick: Erica absolutely nailed playing Chloe except a more tolerable one because lol duh it's Erica. But anyway, the notion that she was so damn jealous of Lois because she got this amazing career- the one that she had been working toward since high school because the Torch was her’s™. SHE WAS THE ONE TO TELL LOIS SHE SHOULD WRITE LMAO like bitch it’s not her fault she just was so natural at it?? And she did it all without poking her nose in people’s business when it wasn’t right or ethical (ahem like all the times Chloe guilted Clark about his secret and cornered him about it, and let me note Chloe asked LOIS about what she’d do if she found out a secret about someone and thus only heeded said advice because my wonderful Lois told her she wouldn’t say anything and just be there to support... which is exactly what we saw Lois do when she found out about Clark).

phew. anyway. Hex- she might have been glad or whatever to be back to herself, but it was such an insight to her petty jealous ass. And then you have of course her jealousy come out when Clark tells her that he’s been confiding in Lois as the blur and she gets that once more kicked bitch face. 

Enter season 9 and her “stay away from her, you mean?” “Lois means something to you, something more”. I thank the lord and the sv writers for those lines forever and a day, but man, the jealousy jumped out again lmao It doesn’t matter if it was Jimmy (rip my sweet OG Clois shipper who never got to see them together and deserved more- also another side note to their convo in Crimson at the Talon when Chloe doesn’t think Clois should be set up when she so obviously saw a connection between them back in 4.03 lol).

And it doesn’t matter if she was with Oliver either (again boy deserved more and she could’ve learned a lesson from him on how to fucking let go and move on). Chloe alwayysssss hated being second fiddle to whatever other girl was in Clark’s life. It doesn’t matter when it’s LOIS her own flesh and blood who- my god I will always think that Lois never pursued anything with Clark since day 1 was because she knew of Chloe’s (obsessive unhealthy) crush with Clark. She even cleared the path for Lana too. Again, Chloe could learn a damn thing or two. Lois was the better cousin times a million and one.

Okay, I keep going off tangent but there’s just A LOT. But my point is that Chloe would always be jealous of everyone who became Clark’s #1 confidant. And when that became Lois- fuck, she couldn’t be supportive. Maybe slightly a few times, but it was- ugh you could always see it in her face, the way she said things. Like she resented her own cousin- who would literally die for her pathetic ass- because she had a better more natural connection to Clark.

Chloe will always hate not ever being good enough for Clark. When I was (re)watching Smallville, I remember how I kept thinking- my god PLEASE let her get over him already. And even when she moved onto Jimmy or Oliver, there was such a residual- possessive nature about her friendship with him. And as always, Clark was just too good to tell her off or anything.

In conclusion: Lois was the better cousin and deserved more than that hot mess. Clark deserved more than a “friend” who guilt tripped him for over a decade into liking her, choosing her, and for pretty much anything and everything because “I dO iT aLL fOr YoU ClaRk”. 

I’m so thankful for how the writers juxtaposed her toxic ass to Lois- who not once guilted Clark, didn’t pursue Clark when Chloe and Lana were remote possibilities/in the picture in some way. She didn’t make him tell her his secret, she waited until he told her, and she just accepted the whole of him without ever making him feel guilty or cornering him because she “did everything for him”. She was a mature ass adult who was selfless in her love for him. Prophecy’s ending where Lois cries and tells Clark she can’t marry him because him saving the world was more important and she couldn’t stand in the way of that... Chloe could never.

Anyway. That was a long hot mess lmao. 

[qqueenofhades]

I saw your post on the partisan lines drawn in the Trump impeachment case. Has congress always been this dysfunctional or is this a relatively new thing? Things feel very hopeless.

Aha. Aha. Ahaaaa. Hah.

I’ll tell you a tale of the bottomless blue, or in this case, American political dysfunction. As with many tales of recent American political dysfunction, this one starts with… Ronald Reagan!

(Man, Hilary, do you really hate Ronald Reagan that much? Answer: Yes, yes I do. Especially since public opinion has moved to ranking him as one of the greatest presidents ever, even Democrats tiptoe around criticizing him, and he is responsible for so much of the shit we are presently in! So much!)

For the younglings amongst us, Reagan was Trump before Trump was Trump: a popular actor who dodged out of service in WWII by making heroic propaganda films, found politics, ran as a Republican and almost swiped the nomination out from Ford in 1976, then ran again in 1980 and beat Jimmy Carter in a landslide. Reagan was, as we’ve discussed, a huge fan of voodoo economics, deregulation, ignoring the AIDS crisis, and massively pumping up the American military mythos and dangerously aggravating the Cold War. In the early 1980s, as the Soviet Union was collapsing from within and could barely feed its own citizens, Reagan was out there hyping it up as the most Terrible and Evil foe that America had ever faced anywhere, which therefore justified a giant surge in military spending and preparation for apparently imminent doomsday. Reagan was positive the commies were everywhere, especially in Central America, and had to be defeated. They were apparently particularly in Grenada (see the 1983 invasion of Grenada) and Nicaragua (the Sandinistas; remember them, they will be important.) The US/CIA has been absolutely shamefully imperialist and interventionist in Latin America for decades, but these were just a few of Ronald’s favorite things. All of this may sound like a diversion just to bag on him some more, because fuck that guy, but I promise, there’s a point.

See, the key difference between Reagan and Trump was that Reagan was nicknamed the “Great Communicator.” Unlike the barely literate Orange One, the Gipper sure could tell a great story, and by golly, he did not let the facts get in the way. He was also a huge advocate of untrammeled power for the executive branch. One thing that Reagan was not a fan of was informing Congress in any measure of what he was doing. The Iran-Contra scandal, which really should have destroyed Reagan’s administration in any just world and also gotten him impeached, was the revelation that he was running friggin’ illegal arms sales to Iran (in the name of freeing exactly seven American hostages who Iran never had any intention of releasing), arming right-wing anti-communist paramilitaries in Nicaragua with the proceeds, and had told Congress about exactly jack shit of any of this! Reagan was basically running his own private empire/byzantine weapons deals/fiefdom/whatever the goddamn hell he wanted, he was a big believer in the president never having to explain himself to anyone or ask permission for anything, while conducting illegal private wars, lying constantly, wrecking the economy, giving tax breaks to billionaires, constantly running off at the mouth about a mostly fictional enemy, and getting credit for ending the Cold War after he nearly single-handedly turned it hot. Sound familiar?

It may help to explain the extended nightmare of the last several Republican administrations if you remember that they were/are basically one mutated Frankenadministration. Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld,  and others – aka all the later major players under George Bushes Sr. and Jr. – were all high-level Cabinet members of Reagan’s administration. This was all just part of one policy put into place by the same people at every chance they got when they were in power, and that was focused on making the (Republican) president basically able to do whatever he wanted. That checks and balances stuff, man, who needs that? As a result, Congress was deliberately designed to be either totally minimized/outright ignored (if held by the opposing party) or a slavish organ of lockstep devotion (if held by the Republicans). This was not always the case. When the Republicans won it back under Reagan in the 1980s, the Senate had been under Democratic control for almost 30 years. There were bumps, obviously, but there was still some sense that the legislative and the executive branches were both vital for government and should work together.

…yeah, so. Reagan junked all that, basically. When W. got to the White House, he then had 9/11 barely 9 months into his presidency, which meant that for a while, he also could do pretty much whatever and no one in either the House or Senate, regardless of party, really dared to oppose him for fear of looking anti-American. This was concurrent with the Republican Party abandoning even a pretense that they were interested in anyone besides rich white (nominally) Christian men. (The religious right also acquired its modern connotations/voting force under, you guessed it, Reagan!) Hence, they were absolutely furious when a brown Democrat with the middle name Hussein won the election in 2008. Mitch McConnell then decided before Obama was even sworn in that the congressional Republicans just flat-out weren’t going to cooperate with anything he did. Didn’t matter what. They were going to obstruct anything and everything, so Obama wouldn’t be able to deliver on his flagship campaign promises and the blame would fall on him. The Republicans were dead-set on making Obama a one-term president, again, before he had even set foot in the White House. Democrats also controlled the House and Senate for the first two years of Obama’s presidency, so this didn’t immediately matter. But then came 2010 and the Tea Party wave, and now the Republicans had a majority, and they did exactly as promised. They blocked everything. Consistently. No matter what.

We mentioned Merrick Garland before. I’m still mad about Merrick Garland. Mitch McConnell outright refused to hold any hearings to confirm Obama’s perfectly legitimate Supreme Court pick for almost eighteen months, betting on a Republican to win the 2016 election and do so instead, and he got away with it. That is why we have Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavarapist on the court right now. The Republicans have proven that they don’t give a damn about public welfare or any pretense of public morality or…. well, anything whatsoever except making themselves richer and more powerful. As bad as Trump is, he could still be out if the congressional GOP had any morals, backbone, willingness to go against their toxic lockstep ideology for the good of the country, or anything. Except… they don’t. They have voted time and again to enable him, shield him from prosecution, and support his plans, because as long as he’s in office, they’re doing well off the gravy train. I really cannot overstate how sociopathic and cowardly these people are. And half the country is still willing to vote for them!

So…. yes. The answer is, Congress, especially the Republican Congress, has been deliberately designed to act exactly like this since the 1980s, and it’s doing exactly what it means to. As to whether that is going to change, you, me, and the rest of America are the only ones who can decide that, and do that, you absolutely must, MUST vote, and not for them.

[holyfourthofjulyweenieroast]

Notes on Season 15- Part 1 (contains spoilers, are mostly complaints about Torres (and Quinn in Pandora’s Box (Part 1)), and are my personal opinions, don’t @ me)

Since Season 15 started rerunning in Australia on 19 November, I’ve decided to write down things I forgot or would like to emphasise upon:

House Divided

I’m so glad Quinn’s gone, good riddance

Reeves saying NCIS wasn’t allowed to look for Gibbs and McGee, then the dispatch guy looking around at their efforts to do just that was great

Why does Torres have to be so disrespectful, even in court- poor Vance having to witness it

Were Bishop and Jimmy being serious about the phone booth?

Poor Reeves- never lend anything to Torres

I love it when Vance gets angry on the team’s behalf, it’s awesome

Don’t be such a dick, Torres

Jezebel Poppins sort of looks like Britney Spears- sidenote, I wonder how the show comes up with character names

Gibbs’ carving was amazing

Bishop and Reeves look so good together, ugh

St. Nicholas is the patron saint of children- in relation to Torres, that explains a lot

Fuck off with your insulting Reeves, Torres- like you haven’t made a mistake before (and much bigger than letting not-so-relevant information slip)

The committee backing Vance up was awesome

‘hobbies?’ ‘not dying’ amazing

The end scenes were so sweet

Every time Delilah said ‘husband’ and McGee said ‘wife’, I went ‘aww’ inside

McGee had such great lines this episode

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Twofer

Dr. Grace! I love her so much, and her reaction to Gibbs catching her off-guard was awesome

When does Torres not have doubts about Bishop and her competency for just about anything

I almost forgot about Ducky’s ringtone

Ugh, I hate Torres’ macho persona

I don’t get the whole falling-in-love-with-someone-your-S.O.-was-close-to (or falling in love with anyone after your S.O. died, for that matter)

When did Abby make the switch from coffin to casket (or is it a backup or something)? I forgot if it’s been mentioned previously

I was really worried watching the Jimmy-and-the-liver bit for the first time

For some reason, Gibbs and McGee’s basement conversation reminded me of McGee and Tony’s in 3x10

Aww, Ducky getting invited to be honoured as an alumnus was so sweet

McGee’s shrink appointment with Dr. Grace was a really great scene

Dr. Grace and Gibbs have a such great friendship, and this episode was no exception

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Exit Strategy

McGee talking about all the old cases, so nostalgic

I love McGee and Jimmy’s friendship

SPORTELLI! I kind of missed him, not going to lie (I wish his story didn’t end the way it did)

Torres is such an asshole to and about everyone, ugh

Torres’ flower drawing looked more like a hubcap

Aww, Ducky teaching the lecture was so cute

Jimmy standing up for himself, go Autopsy Gremlin

Ducky’s fanclub is way too over-eager

Seriously, Torres? You’re a federal agent, and you think saying you’d steal bearer bonds out loud is a good idea?

Ducky and Jimmy have such a sweet relationship

The plot of this episode sucked, I don’t get why they had to make Sportelli dirty

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Skeleton Crew

Why is Toccata and Fugue the music piece of choice for every spooky TV show scene ever (it’s great, though, don’t get me wrong)

SLOANE! Her entrance is one of the most iconic (and obvious, I caught the ID flash the first time I watched it) ever, plus she looked just so beautiful

McGee talking about Delilah was so cute

Torres is so pigheaded and obnoxious

Abby’s zombie apocalypse kits were such a sweet idea

Abby and Jimmy have such a cute friendship (and the Hamilton bit was hilarious)

Sloane and Vance are such a great brotp from the very first scene

SHUT. UP. TORRES.

I hate it whenever Torres says something along the lines of ‘I’m not trying to be ________, but...’- he uses it as an excuse for his shitty behaviour, and it’s never addressed

‘I don’t believe in absolutes’ well, we know that Sloane’s not a Sith, then (I know the Sith deal in absolutes, but to deal in something, you most likely have to believe in it first)

$300, 000 really isn’t a lot, especially split between two people

The last two Bishop-and-Buckner scenes were sweet, but didn’t make up for his previous behaviour towards her

Akin to 17x06, this episode glossed over the bullying Bishop endured, and how it’s a serious issue

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

The first time I saw this, I instantly knew it was Tony’s doing- how could anyone not

Reeves is so caring and kind, it sucks how Melissa played him

Abby and Reeves (Rabby? Clabby?) were such a great brotp while it lasted

FUCK. OFF. TORRES.

Why is Torres such an asshole? He’s rude and insensitive to everyone, even recovering addicts- how have the writers not been called out for their writing of him yet

I love Sloane so much-she’s awesome

Those tap-lights are horribly hipster and ugly

The end scene in the bullpen was hilarious, and the end scene with Reeves was so emotional and heartbreaking

Rishop’s friendship (not their more-than-friendship, they’re two separate things) was so prevalent in this episode, and it was great to see

This episode had such a powerful message, and was a great instance in the Rule 10 debate

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Trapped

Aww, Jimmy’s so sweet

Torres is so ungrateful and stingy

Torres using work time for personal stuff, not surprising

Reeves’ chess pun was absolutely the best

For some reason, I really love it when Reeves does that thing where he puts his hands behind his back and slightly leans forward

‘The Timinator’ I’m dying

Like Reeves said, Torres always has to one-up everyone else and I hate it

That kid was so sassy, omfG

Bishop knows Reeves so well, and it’s too adorable- how could the writers set up Ellick when Rishop already had an outline

That’s what you get for being such an asshole, Torres, and trying to get it back was one of the lowest things a character has done

I love it when NCIS includes charities (real and based-on-real) and the like in episodes

Words can’t even describe how much I hated Torres in this episode- he was at his worst

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Pandora’s Box (Part 1)- Season 14, didn’t re-air with the other episodes because Part 2 (NOLA) is re-airing in two days from time of writing

Bishop being a fangirl was completely understandable (and relatable)

Good job insulting Abby, Torres- not

I’m gonna try and start saying ‘Aristotle banana split’ in everyday conversation

Poor Abby- such a sucky situation

Quinn is so annoying

JJ looks to old to have a daughter in preschool

‘Dr. Ducky’ TOO ADORABLE

Ducky and Reeves having banter about British things was the best thing ever

Bishop and Reeves are so cute together (also the ‘smart girl’ comment was definitely about her)

Bishop was on the shortlist after all, I’m so proud of her (even though the mission went south)

The NYB memorial wall, so sad

LaSalle (rip)! I just love his Alabama accent

Torres is just such a douche

McAbby is such a great brotp

Why does Torres have to be so dramatic and show-offy

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Burden Of Proof

Yuck, I hate Torres, and even more when he talks about himself

Sloane’s choker top, YES

I hate it when Torres messes with Bishop’s mind and feelings- that’s not how you show you care about someone

Oof, Fornell- it sucks his job was brought into this mess, and that he lost it as a result

I really don’t want to know why ‘feet’ was the first thing that came to Torres’ mind

There’s something to just love about when Vance breaks up Fornell and Gibbs’ arguments

‘Name That Profile’ actually sounds like a pretty fun game

I hate Torres’ innate cockiness- he risks the suspect getting away just so he can put on a show beforehand

Ouch, poor Fornell- it was the wrong decision, and I don’t know if I would’ve done it, but I did get why he did it- the evidence that Hicks killed the Lieutenant was compelling

Poor Gibbs, you can just see the inner turmoil in his head

Aww, Sloane

Fornell, aww- I’ll fight anyone who says he’s an inherently bad person

Hicks really is a great liar to be able to fool a shrink

I really liked the Gabriel Hicks arc, this episode was the first of a few great ones

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Voices

It’s rich of Torres to back up a woman’s side of things

Never stop being awkward and adorkable, Jimmy (adwarkable?)

‘Jack, knock yourself out’ ‘I will, Gibbs’- funniest exchange ever

Ducky lives for the drama and I love it

Collapsing floor during a birthday party- hell of a way to go

Delilah putting up a firewall to prevent McGee from finding out the baby’s gender was so funny

Mike Franks popping up for all of ten seconds was just so iconic

The twins reveal was pretty cute

The foreshadowing in this episode with Sloane and the losing-a-daughter storyline (whether intentional or not) was really good to watch back

The amount of times the word ‘sex’ was said during this episode made me extremely uncomfortable- how hard is it to say ‘gender’ instead

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Ready Or Not

Don’t be such an asshole to Reeves, Torres

The Harrison Ford-themed names were kind of bad, but definitely not as much as they could have been

Abby and Delilah’s friendship has come such a long way, I’m so proud

Aww, Morgan, he was so sweet and didn’t deserve to die

Poor Sloane

McGee making a duplicate comfort kit for Delilah was the most adorable thing ever, and Abby yelling along with her was so funny

Bishop and Reeves always stand and sit so close together, too cute

I remember watching this for the first time and being really shocked when Yorka shot Morgan, especially since it was so early on in the episode

Abby really is a terrible liar

Bishop and Gibbs’ little performance was awesome

I don’t know why they didn’t think about putting Sloane in in the first place

Sloane making snarky comments was awesome

Morgan dying was so sad

Seriously, Torres? Do you want everything to blow up?

Reeves and Torres debating the bomb was hilarious

I loved how Gibbs just straight-up punched the driver in the face

The end scene with the twin-naming was so cute

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

High Tide (originally Ep. 11, but for some reason it aired as Ep. 10)

Torres is so obnoxious and a really bad law enforcer- lives are always more important than the op

Reeves worried about Bishop, so sweet

Torres is such a dick for ignoring Bishop and protocol

Ugh, why is Torres so arrogant and bigheaded- I hate him so much, yuck

How could those girls not know the capital of Maine

Insubordination is Torres’ middle name, and I could’ve watched a whole season’s worth of Vance chewing him out

Bishop’s anger was completely justified, but I wish it wasn’t because of feelings for him

I FUCKING HATE TORRES SO MUCH I WANT TO KILL HIM

Torres absolutely cannot be trusted, Sloane- you know it and so does everyone else

Yuuuck, I hated that part so much, and it didn’t even make sense- Bishop was super-angry at him just before, why would she do a complete 180

What other sort of cop is there, you idiot

Go, Bishop! So badass

Ya think, McGee?

Torres is such an idiot- don’t admit anything to someone who can’t be 100% trusted, and that plot twist was pretty predictable

More like a soft zero

Seriously? What if he died, you dickhead- also the fact that Torres had no backup plan and was only okay because the team saved him shows how self-obsessed and incompetent he is

The fact that the team doubted Torres shows how little he can be trusted, and how little they trust him

There was absolutely no chemistry between Bishop and Torres in this episode (or ever), and words can’t express how much I loathe and despise him and everything about him, which sucks because he could’ve been really well-written

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

Dark Secrets (originally Ep. 12, but for some reason it aired as Ep. 11)

I think all babies are pretty ugly, but Johnny and Morgan are cute

It’s just an ID photo, Torres- stop complaining

‘is there a spouse’ Autopsy Gremlin for the gender-inclusive win!

Carol mention! She’s awesome

Bud again! I’m using a lot of exclamation marks, but they’re things to exclaim about

Poor guy- she was a total asshole, lying to and cheating on him

Bishop and Sloane have such a pure relationship

Seriously, Torres? Not everyone dates in high school, and shaming someone about it is pathetic and juvenile (and it doesn’t help if they’re dead, either)

Recording your infidelity exploits isn’t a good idea (infidelity isn’t, full-stop)

I hate how obnoxious and over-confident Torres is

Just another instance of Torres manipulating someone into doing something for him

This was easily one of the most gross and uncomfortable plots I’ve seen, but a good way of showing that it’s not only guys that cheat and lie- girls do as well

WHY COULDN’T REEVES HAVE BEEN THE THIRD AGENT SO TORRES AND QUINN WOULD HAVE NEVER EXISTED AND CBS WOULD’VE SAVED HEAPS OF MONEY HIRING ONE MAIN CHARACTER THAT AUDIENCES ALREADY KNEW AND LOVED INSTEAD OF TWO NEW ANNOYING ONES

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 417: Forgetters s/t

Blake Schwarzenbach is a victim of his own past---every new album is met with complaints and criticisms about how his current work measures up to his classic albums. And it’s always been that way. Early Jawbreaker fans who fell in love with sophisticated pop-punk of Unfun hated the sad, protracted ballads and noise squalls of Bivouac. The folks who found solace in the rough hewn heart-on-sleeve poetry of 24 Hour Revenge Therapy felt betrayed by the major label bombast of Dear You. The criticism got even harsher when Blake started Jets to Brazil, and though their debut album sold well, every subsequent album seemed to shed fans. I was guilty of playing into this pattern: I initially hated Dear You and I thought Jets to Brazil were boring the first time I heard them opening for The Promise Ring in Seattle back in ‘98 (also on the bill: Pedro the Lion, Jimmy Eat World, and Sensefield... jeezus). For the record, I have since come to love the entirety of his catalog.

Things seemed a little different for his project Forgetters. After living in relative anonymity for the better part of a decade in Brooklyn, Blake quietly announced his new band with a self-released double 7″. One of the common gripes with Dear You and the last couple of Jets to Brazil records was that they were too grandiose and polished, which seemed at odds with the scrappy browbeaten street poet vibes of Blake’s classic albums. So to hear that he was working with the original drummer of Against Me! and the bassist of No Idea! alumni Bitchin’ on a bare-bones trio seemed very promising. I bought the double 7″ and liked it, and then I went to see them play a packed show at The Vera Project in Seattle back in 2011. 

They were absolutely phenomenal. I remember them playing one song in particular---a slow building ballad with the chorus “you die by your own hand / or kill what you can’t stand”---and feeling completely humbled by it. How often do you hear a band play a new song and immediately have it stuck in your head? I found YouTube footage of the song a few days later, converted it to mp3, and listened to it countless times while waiting for its appearance on their upcoming LP. But Forgetters is a long album---perhaps too long for a single LP---and “Die By Your Own Hand” only made the cut as a digital bonus track. It still stands as their best song, and in 2012 I couldn’t fathom why they’d relegate it to bonus content. I liked the remainder of the album, but I couldn’t shake the disappointment. Much like Dear You and Orange Rhyming Dictionary, it felt like a noble misstep. But also like those albums, revisiting the album in subsequent years completely switched my opinion of the album. Forgetters is classic Schwarzenbach---sadness, anger, poignancy, and hope channeled through a literary scholar’s typewriter and a handful of distorted minor chords.

I moved to Brooklyn shortly after this LP came out, and sometime during that first year in NYC I went to see Forgetters play at Death By Audio. I was excited to see the trio in their hometown, and given that the LP hadn’t quite clicked with me yet, I was excited to see these songs played live in the hopes that it would untangle their riddle and reveal their power to me. And I wanted to hear “Die By Your Own Hand” again. But the set was almost entirely new material. Blake was once again looking forward and leaving the past behind. I recognized one or two songs, but ultimately it felt like I was watching a band rehearsing new material. Maybe all the other Brooklyn punks knew something I didn’t, because there were only a couple dozen people in attendance. It was a strangely defeating show, and as far as I know, Forgetters never played live again.

There’s always been a lot of sadness around Schwarzenbach, and given the vibe in the room that night I suppose that bleak aura isn’t entirely a put-on. I saw Blake a few times in subsequent years, stoically pouring drinks at a pub down by Prospect Park. And then a few years ago he reunited Jawbreaker because “he couldn’t even get a job as a dog walker.” And now, Blake’s original maligned band is back and playing the biggest shows of his career.

I just hope Jets to Brazil and Forgetters get the same justice. 

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 26 - TOR - The Eichel Standard

6-4 Regulation Win

Let’s have a moment of honesty. I’ll start. I expected this to be a signed sealed and delivered loss (I think many of us did). I had a rip-roaring time watching that epic Buffalo Bills game on Thanksgiving to the point where I was near dreading a home and home series with the team I hate more than any other in the world (I think many of us did). The Buffalo Sabres, losers of 11 out of 13, up against a hated Leafs squad fresh off the firing and roasting of their former coach rattling off three straight wins, is the setup for a massively painful loss… or a very cathartic win... and a playoff spot at the moment *Heavily suggestive nudging*. We’ll come back to that. One more moment of honesty: I have begun to feel dirty roasting the Leafs fans who file into Key Bank Center in droves as of late. The reality that has been attested to me a dozen times is these are mostly folks who haven’t and may never see a Leafs game in Toronto. They’ve been priced out. Instead of feeling offended that so many thrifty season ticket holders in the lower bowl sell their tickets to Leafs fans… we should really pity these Leafs fans and give them good treatment. They are priced out by an organization that has sucked ass for half a century and not even granted them the dignity of watching it live. Just a thought. I digress. What is the greatest game against the Leafs in Sabres history? Greatest Game Against for this divisional rival actually has scanter options than you might think. There is no Leafs-Sabres game in the top fifteen of the Buffalo News’ top 50 games in franchise history. These teams are rarely good at the same time and the one time they were gave us the only playoff series between the two in the 1999 Eastern Conference Final, a series won by the Sabres I may add. The Greatest Game Against the Leafs in franchise history comes in that series: Game 5. The 4-2 win sealed the second trip to the Stanley Cup Final in franchise history. Like many big moments the team got in the late 1990s it was backstopped by Dominik Hasek being the best goaltender in the world but nonetheless the Sabres won a trip to the biggest series for the organization since the mid-70s so whose complaining? That series allows us to carry the historical playoff edge against the Leafs into a playoff series I now feel is as inevitable as Thanos. I guess we’ll see about that. Last night was a boost, no doubt about that.

Buffalo did what they’ve been good at lately: getting a neat little hot start and getting our hopes up before absolutely roasting our turkey. There are nights where Jack Eichel has a game. There are nights when Linus Ullmark has a game. Last Night they both had a game. William Nylander outmaneuvered Johan Larsson and Marco Scandella back on the other end and suddenly found himself on a breakaway. Linus Ullmark said: ain’t no problem. He scooped it up to thunderous applause. I wasn’t at this game so I’m not going to comment on the Leafs jerseys to Sabres jerseys ratio but from the sound of it both fanbases had the power of applause. Auston Matthews disappeared throughout this game; but the guy who was mature enough for the C did not. This game could be framed as the battle of the Captains. John Tavares broke the scoreless tie late in the first period with a quick shot from Ilya Mikheyev. I think Linus Ullmark was screened by both Leafs and Sabres players on that one. Sometimes it seems as though this club either doesn’t know how to defend the net or defends it so hard the goalie can’t do his job. Either way it was 1-0 after one period. Tavares struck again early in the second period. Eichel and Spezza had both gone to the box creating a 4-on-4 and some space for creative players on the Leafs. This 2-0 goal I feel comfortable blaming on Ullmark. Tavares leads a 2-on-3 and the puck ends up way behind the net. Ullmark splayed out on his belly way too early and JT got his own rebound and tapped it in. I suppose it also would have helped if the Sabres defenders were a little tougher on Tavares but hey, they held Auston Matthews off the score sheet so I’m not complaining, well at least not after the Buffalo Sabres arrived in this game shortly before six minutes into the second period.

Brandon Montour kept the puck in the offensive zone on a failed Leafs zone exit and passed it to Johan Larsson. Larsson goes in and doesn’t see his shot, so he drop passes it to one of the best trailers in the league in my humble opinion: Jeff Skinner. Yes, Skinner on a line centered by Johan Larsson is some interesting strategy from Ralph Krueger and you probably have seen the roasts of the strange deployment. Me, well I’m going to save those roasts for the losses. Skinner ripped off an Eichel-esque wrist shot that Michael Hutchinson never responded to. Just right in. Funny part of this story as we go onto the flowering of the Sabres offense here: man-of-the-people new Leafs coach Sheldon Keefe asked the players what they thought of the difficult backup position they got up there and they wanted Hutchinson called up. Hutch must feel like he got the raw end of that deal, eh? Spoiler Alert: he let six goals in. After the Skinner goal both teams botched a powerplay and as the Leafs’ one expired Jack Eichel came out of the box to pick up a juicy stray puck that had wandered into the neutral zone. Him, Marcus Johannson and Conor Sheary go off to the races on a 3-on-1. Jack Eichel does a Jack Eichel Special and this game is tied. If you watch this team regularly you probably know what a Jack Eichel Special is: quick release wrist shot from the point, preferably on the rush. That’s yummier than Thanksgiving stuffing! The feast had just begun! Marco Scandella shot from the point and Casey Mittelstadt bats at it to create a redirect of the year candidate for the 3-2 lead. Now if you want to find some similarities between these two teams its not hard. One might be that both have enough skill guys to draw defenders out of their coverages. That’s what happened when another Leafs powerplay was ending and Jack Eichel had the puck. He has the puck behind the Leafs net along with 3(?) blue & white defenders… yeah, you know who that left open: Victor Olofsson. Goalofsson is no longer in an exclusive relationship with the powerplay, now he’s taking shots in all situations and he puts the Sabres up 4-2 to put a nice little bow on the first forty minutes of this game.

Almost seven minutes into the final frame Dmytro Timashov get a shot off through the woods and the Leafs are back within one. You can’t sit back in this league, the Sabres have learned that the hard way. But with the Leafs you can’t only not sit back, you need to bury them alive. You have to beat them so bad they’re thinking of their next opponent to beat these guys. The third period was a kind of touch-and-go experience as the Leafs closed in and the Sabres extended their lead. I was in a movie for this game and when I was looking at the scorers afterwards I saw Jimmy Vesey unassisted and thought to myself: three unassisted breakaway goals in the three games? What are the chances? I come to find out it wasn’t a breakaway, but it was one of those embarrassing goals you watch happen and think: “Yeah, that’s going to be showed in a Leafs video session.” They gave up the puck right in the slot and Jimmy Vesey takes it and hardly has to do the cotton eyed joe to get through the defenders right up to Hutchinson. When Vesey got there he put a goal that actually merits the name “Greasy Vesey”: five hole from point blank. Oh, this was the moment this game became cathartic. Not only is Jack Eichel roasting the Leafs, now its his BU drinking buddy tapping in five-hole stingers. Kasperi Kapanen closed the Leafs to within one again mere minutes later on another goal Ullmark probably wants back. And so it would be a one goal game for the last eight minutes until Jack Eichel got the puck in the defensive zone with a Leafs empty net and launched an ICBM all the way down ice into the open cage for the final score line of 6-4. That’s right, the Sabres didn’t just beat the Leafs, they did it in regulation like a bunch of Gs. If we could have a game like that every night a lot fewer fans would be calling Buffalo’s turkey roasted at this phase of the season.

The NHL gave three stars honors to Eichel, Vesey and Tavares but I’m going to change one of those. Jack Eichel was not only good on the score sheet; he literally had a perfect game in zone entries and breakouts. Those are the stats of a leader. If that behavior infects his teammates we won’t be talking about another lost season much longer. If we see players on this team at least showing Eichel’s drive to win each night then what could happen? The answer is beautiful things with the Eichel Standard. Star number two ought to be Linus Ullmark who has secretly been behind some of the Sabres recent almost success and tonight: actual success. Ullmark has a .913 save percentage, which is very much on the good side, having started five of the last seven games. Think about the last seven games, how many of them do you think the goalie came out looking that good? The tide might be turning on this tandem. The time is shortly before noon on Saturday I’m going to post this. A lot can change in the next 24 hours in this league, not to mention the outcome of a second game between these two teams tonight in Toronto; but as of right now the Buffalo Sabres sit in a playoff spot at third place in the division. Say what you will about this club wasting a fantastic October, or losing in spectacular fashion against lesser teams, or even the seeming inability of the GM to rotate out some defensive depth so his Coach can stop rotating good defenseman out of the lineup; this team is not out of it. Not yet. I did Thanksgiving Playoffs last postgame remembering that most of the teams in the playoffs on American Thanksgiving are in the dance come the end of the season. The playoff picture in the east right now is tight AF. No, frustrated we might be game to game this season has all the makings of not being over. Stop writing the epitaph while the body is warm. Being a Sabres fan sucks but you got to give it the space to not suck sometimes.

After the Leafs tonight we have the DEVILS who are just as bad as the last time we checked. After that the Sabres fly out on a Western Canada road trip I’m not too afraid of. I’m not telling you they’re going to create separation in the standings, we’ve watched this team enough to know opportunity is often squandered, but I doubt we’re as doom and gloom about this team when we see the Leafs again in three Tuesdays. Just an idea, I’ll probably be wrong, right? Tampa is also waiting to come alive like a loaded coil sitting outside the playoff picture so I should be more hesitant to get excited, eh? Like, share and comment on this blog to hop on board to remind me when I’m wrong. Happy Holidays, it seems as though we can be happy this holiday season just off Bills energy. Call me a fool but I’ve got some serious Sabres energy going on right now too. Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. The Tim Hortons Rivalry. Let’s make that a thing. Nobody outside Southern Ontario or Western New York knows wtf the QEW is so let’s not name the rivalry after a fucking highway. This is a sleeping giant of a rivalry that we are naming after a fucking road. Think about it. The more you think about “Tim Hortons Rivalry” the more it makes sense.

[angel-wings-and-broken-things]

A rant about Vanya Hargreeves

(Note: this is decidedly anti-Vanya. If that bothers you, I suggest you click off right now, you have been warned. That said, I'm always up for some friendly debate if you see anything that I’ve said is incorrect, but please don’t respond with bullshit comments like “Luther made her” as it’s an embarrassing display of the pure immaturity that comes from Vanya stans.)

So I’ve been putting off this rant for a long time, mainly because I’ve been busy with school and other stuff. Also, I’ve been getting my kicks ranting to my sister about the pure idiocy that is Vanya Hargreeves and Vanya stans. However, my sister now says that she is done listening to my hour-long rage-fueled rants. Let me tell you that I cried, because a staple in my morning routine has become eating my toast and spilling tea with my younger sister. However, when presented with the facts, for example, that she has never watched the show and has no opinions on the character nor on the cataclysmic stupidity of the fandom for idolizing this psychopathic monster, I realized that perhaps it was the proper time for me to make this, and pray that I can move on to a life of happiness after expelling my hatred of these unintelligent people and arguments.

Also, I’m extremely high on caffeine and procrastinating my essays. So please bear with me as I take you on the journey of my three AM coffee induced rants. I understand that there is a very slim chance that I will change anybody's mind about Vanya, as many people choose to be ignorant about the problematic and hypocritical behavior of their favorite character. Society is relentless in its enablement of the truly moronic behaviors, and nothing has made me lose more faith in the world than the actual arguments I have seen from the half-witted, mindless Vanya stans. I’m not saying that everyone who stans Vanya is an idiot, but if someone else were to say it I would not disagree. Unfortunately, that is simply the conclusion that all evidence leads to. This introduction has gotten away from me a bit, so without further ado, here is every single bullshit argument that I have seen Vanya stans argue debunked.

Vanya’s Childhood.                        

First of all, I would like to point out that I have the utmost sympathy for all of the Hargreeves children for having to grow up with an abusive father. At no point in this rant will I disvalue Vanya’s trauma. As much as I truly hate her character, invalidating traumatic experiences and PTSD is a fucking dick move that I will leave to other parts of the fandom (*cough* anti-Luthers *cough*).

Now that that’s out of the way, let me dig deep into her psychopathic tendencies and unflinching lack of remorse for her actions that clearly has been present since adolescence. First, let us address her powers. I see people everywhere saying that having her powers bound was abusive and horrible, that Allison could have rumored her to have control instead, that she didn’t mean to do any of the things she did, etc. However, please consider that Reginald didn’t have a choice. Or rather I should say that his choices were limited and he made the best possible one given the circumstances. I’m not condoning his actions at all, I will be the first to denounce his actions and character. However, we need to consider all of the facts; not only did she physically attack him, but she also murdered several innocent people because she didn’t like oatmeal. This was to the point that Reginald designed Grace for the sole purpose of having someone who could control Vanya. Vanya was clearly displaying apathetic tendencies towards murder at a young age and cares nothing for the people she killed as long as she got what she wanted. She murdered people over oatmeal, and people stay defending her?

I was shocked when I saw this scene and realized that people were still stanning Vanya, because do you know what this points to people? A pattern. Vanya is a power-hungry maniac. This is shown many times in the show. She knows that she’s the most powerful person in the room and she shamelessly abuses that privilege. When she is a child and she realizes that she’s more powerful then Reginald can handle, what does she do? She explodes the glasses and hurts him with her powers. When she is fed a type of food that she doesn’t like and knows she can use her powers to get whatever she wants, what does she do? She murders her nannies for the sole purpose of getting her way. When she is an adult and realizes that she doesn’t have to listen to Allison, what does she do? Slits her throat and attempts to literally murder her, then runs away. When she doesn’t want to be held captive she destroys their house. When her siblings try to stop her from hurting people she burns the world to the ground. Do you see the pattern?

Furthermore, let us discuss The Umbrella Academy. Also known as Vanya once again showing her true colors as a spoiled brat. We see in both her autobiography and in the flashback scene where she destroyed the house that she felt excluded. Listen, I am a sibling, I have felt excluded before and I’m sure that my sisters have as well. But somehow none of us have burned our house to the ground. I know, you’re probably sitting at your keyboard shaking your head in awe at out restraint. I get that people sympathize with her loneliness throughout childhood, and I can see why. But honestly, I didn’t see anything too terrible in the flashback scene. What? Diego was pissed at her for barging into his room and Allison didn’t want Vanya to see her macking on Luther? Call me crazy but that just seems like siblings being siblings (aside from the making out with your other siblings part, that’s weird). Yes, the one about her being left out from the family portrait was kind of rough, but no reason to attempt to murder your whole family, kill your mom and father figure, and destroy your house. 

She clearly has a being left out complex that began in adolescence and carried through adulthood. It’s okay when you’re a kid and you’re whining that Jimmy and Tommy won’t let you play tag with them, but it crosses a line when you act that way as a grown ass woman. Her book was also crossing a gigantic, fat red line that says in all caps YOU’RE TAKING THIS TOO FAR. What, Ben didn’t want to share his toys so in return you write a passive-aggressive novel about how much your siblings suck and left you out of their super secret club? Let’s say that Klaus also published a book talking about all of his traumatic experiences, and at the center of it was perfect Vanya who was normal and never experienced a single hardship. Different story, right? We don’t seem to talk about the fact that being in the Umbrella Academy seemed to suck. Klaus was forced into a mausoleum and made to live his worst nightmare, Ben was made to kill people using his powers, Luther was transformed into an ape-man without his consent and exiled to the moon, Five ended up stranded in the apocalypse for 45 years, and that's just when was shown on the screen. I’m positive that there were tons of other horrible things that the academy experienced, so where does Vanya get off pretending that she invented tragedy all because her precious feewings were hurt? 

Locking Vanya Up 

Listen. Listen. I said that I wasn’t going to invalidate Vanya’s trauma, and I plan to stick to that. Luther locking Vanya in that cage was fucked up. He shouldn’t have done that. However, in order to properly make my case we need to analyze everything, so allow me to play devil’s advocate for a moment. Vanya slit Allison’s throat. In what universe is that even a little bit acceptable? Not only was Allison her sister, but she was just trying to help. She says repeatedly that she loves Vanya, that she wants to help her, that she’s trying to rescue her from her abusive boyfriend, and once again we see Vanya turn to violence when she doesn’t get her way. I see tons of people saying that Allison had it coming because she rumored Vanya into thinking she was ordinary, but consider this: you’re an asshole. Allison was a child, she didn’t realize that what she was doing was wrong. She even admitted it to Vanya and said that she was confused/just remembered it. Guilty people don't admit their sins. Allison was confused and hurt, and Vanya tried to kill her. 

Additionally, let’s refer to Leonard. Vanya killed him. Now, I’m not particularly broken up over his death, the bastard sort of had it coming.  However, this is yet another example of Vanya overreacting with violence when she’s upset. Her murdering Leonard wasn’t self-defense, as he wasn’t attacking her, nor had he ever physically hurt her. While I’m aware that emotional abuse can be just as bad as physical abuse, and that Vanya was definitely in an emotionally abusive relationship with Leonard, it was still murder. There is no way that it would have held up in court, and I get that people can get trapped in abusive relationships, but if you want to leave a toxic relationship, the answer is not murder. It is never okay to kill someone unless it is in direct defense of your life. or someone else’s. Vanya killed Leonard and showed absolutely no remorse. In fact, the only time she ever showed any sort of guilt over what she did was to Allison, and she got over that in about 30 minutes.

I have gotten a bit off track, so going back to Luther locking Vanya up, he shouldn’t have done it. That much is clear, you should never subject someone to their worst fear. I could go on about Luther and his motivations, but I’ll save that for another rant. All I’m trying to say is that he had a good motive, it's still not okay but I feel that the entire fandom already holds Luther accountable for that, whereas no one holds Vanya accountable for her actions. Additionally, consider the other timeline. In the time where Five came from, Luther didn’t lock Vanya up. Why would he? We can see from Five’s flashback to finding his family dead that Allison’s throat wasn’t slit, therefore because Five was the one who pointed them in the direction of Harold Jenkins, and he wasn’t in the original timeline, there is only one conclusion to draw based on the evidence. In the original timeline, no one went after Vanya. Therefore, Leonard was able to convince her to go destroy Hargreeves mansion, and sometime in the process, Luther ripped his eye out. This is supported by Five saying that while he has assumed that the mansion fell with the apocalypse, it has actually happened before that. Vanya then, after murdering all of her siblings, went on to destroy the world, Leonard, and herself in the process. This shows that Luther was actually somewhat justified in his actions, Vanya has already proven that she is capable of killing and has no qualms about doing so. She has killed billions of people in multiple timelines, and Vanya stans still want to act like none of it was her fault? Okay.

The Guy In The Car

This is a pretty specific sub-category, but I felt like I had to bring it up because it is so fucking incredible the things that Vanya stans are willing to look past. Vanya literally murdered someone because he honked at her. Even if you can justify everything else she did, how can you justify that? Is road rage seriously worth killing over? People are so quick to say “YAS badass Vanya! A QWEEN!” but was Luther a badass when he grabbed Klaus by his fucking neck? No, so why is Vanya a badass when she nearly kills her sister and actually murders innocent people?  The fact of the matter is, Vanya shows a continuous pattern of killing without remorse. She has not only killed many nannies, Leonard, her siblings (in the alternate timeline) and the whole fucking world (twice), but she murdered the man in the car for absolutely nothing. He could have had a family, he could have had children, but did Vanya think of that? Probably not, because she’s a psychopath.

Stop and take a good long look at any of these gifs and try to tell me she wasn’t in control. Try and tell me she isn’t a murderer.

The Apocalypse

Finally. The part of this rant that I’ve been the most excited to get to. This is where I get the most idiotic comments about Vanya. I may have to write a whole other section addressing the most stupid comments I have gotten. But nonetheless, everyone seems to be unanimously in agreement that it wasn’t Vanya’s fault, and this is where I run into some issues. Vanya isn’t a child, she’s a grown ass woman. Correct me if I’m wrong, but when you’re almost 30 years old, its time to take responsibility for your actions. Some of y’all’s mamas didn’t raise you right and it shows. When I was a kid, it didn’t matter if my little sister told me to steal the candy bar, I still stole the candy bar. It was my fault, I got punished. No one held a gun to Vanya’s head and forced her to burn the world to the ground. If you rewatch the final scene, it’s pretty clear that she’s in control of her actions. The only times I saw her lose control was when she was defending Leonard from the muggers and when she was ranting about her siblings. During the apocalypse? All I saw was pure vindictive pleasure. She was pissed off, so she would have everyone die. 

I would like to point out, because I haven't seen anyone else talking about this, that Vanya was straight up ready to kill Luther, Klaus, Five, and Diego. At the end, when they all were trying to stop her (from destroying the world) she had them suspended in air and was clearly hurting them. You could see them in pain, their lives were literally draining away. It was pretty clear that they would have died if Allison hadn’t stopped her. And through it all, she didn’t care. She didn’t care that they would die, she didn’t care that the world would burn. The bottom line is that Vanya Hargreeves is a psychotic murderer, and the fandom needs to stop treating her like a goddess.

In conclusion

To summarize, Vanya displays the characteristics of a spoiled toddler. All she does is lash out when she doesn’t get her way and destroy the world and other people. She has killed countless people, and the fact that people keep saying it wasn’t her fault is such a classic example of the world’s stupidity. If you say that she wasn’t responsible, or that Luther made her do it, then congratulations, you are just as mature as Vanya is and that is not a compliment. No one can make you do anything. You always have choices, Vanya chose to destroy the world and that is something that she needs to be held accountable for. 

I can kind of understand the appeal to Vanya, I suppose. She could come across relatable because of her lonely childhood. Or maybe shes just amassed such a large following because people love Ellen Page (which I get). But the fact remains that I have heard so many idiotic Vanya supporters preaching her psycho gospel and completely ignoring every shitty thing she’s done. So next time I reply to someone’s moronic, unintelligent, not thought through comment, and they try and start beef with me, I’ll just link this rant. I’ve gotten tired of repeating myself. So hey, if you said something to me on twitter about how Vanya isn’t responsible for all the people she killed in cold blood, and I commented with this link, then congrats! You are such a moronic mouthpiece that I felt the need to spend hours writing this essay detailing every single reason as to why your opinion is invalid. Save us both some time here and just stop talking. Either that or turn on your notifications and fight me irl, I won’t hesitate to cleanse the bloodline of your stupidity. Sucks to suck man, don’t let the door hit you on the way to hell. 

If you finished this, congratulations. Grammarly tells me that this takes an average of 12 minutes to read so thank you for sticking with me throughout this 2,500-word monster of a rant. You’re a real one. And if you still stan Vanya, then no worries. Believe it or not, I’m not against stanning Vanya. The problem is that most Vanya stans love her on the grounds of believing that she’s innocent, and the fact of the matter is that she’s not. It’s okay to like whoever you want to like, but acknowledge that your fave is problematic instead of being an idiot and naively trying to convince me of her innocence. The facts are on my side here, people. You’re not going to win this argument.