#saved it as a draft but kept thinking about it. so you lot get it too

[oh2e]

I feel like Interview With The Vampire rewired me in the same way Black Sails did - I’m weird about it but everyone else is so much more that I appear normal by comparison yet I am very much insane about it.

[foreingersgod]

I LOVE THE FICS LATELY AND ALL THE TIME !!

one of them being the cc being obsessed with her gf , now i wanna see a kate martin being obsessed with her gf !!!

Always take rests !!!!

Work Song . KM

pairing: kate martin x reader

A/N: i’m not sure if anon wanted soft, tooth rotting obsession, but i yearn for sweetie pie kate so i hope it’s ok :’)

Boys workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burnin' heat?

kate was exhausted to say the least. practices, games…everything was really weighing down on her. she had so much on her plate all the time and it often got to be too much for her to handle. there was a lot of stress on her recently, being drafted and being the new girl on the team. she bared the overwhelming feeling of having to impress everyone, prove that she could handle it. and deep down she knew she could. kate was strong and smart and resilient, but her biggest fear was letting people down. letting you down.

that’s why, during times like this, she turned to you. her biggest supporter, her number one fan, her everything. you had been with her since the beginning. you were there for every meltdown and all the late nights spent in tears when kate felt like a failure. you were there for every loss and every win, there to clean up her nasty bruises and cuts. and now you were here to guide her through this huge change in her life. she wouldn’t be able to count on her fingers the amount of times you had truly saved her in the midst of all this. kate struggled with change, hated how she felt like she needed to start over with a whole new team and a whole new life. but you were there to remind her that nothing was going to change, you would still be with her every step of the way. all she needed was you, the most important thing in her life.

you were the reason she got up in the morning. you were the reason she kept pushing even when she felt like giving up. because she knew that at the end of the day, you’d be there with her, arms holding her tight to ground her. that you’d never leave her and, for that, she wanted to make you proud.

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love, I could barely eat

she was gone for the week, in another state for an away game. but a week was 7 days too long for kate, she couldn’t stand being away from you. she remembers the night before she left, how she was packing her things unwillingly as you made sure she had everything in her bag. you were trying so hard to get her excited, it was going to be one of her first games upon her pro-ball debut and you had assumed she’d be ecstatic. but instead she was sulking (typical kate), talking about how much she was going to miss you.

“i can’t believe you’re about to go live out your life long dream and you’re sitting here pouting” you teased. she knew you were right, and she really was quite excited, but the thought that you wouldn’t be there killed her.

normally you would attend like you always did, but you needed to take the week to focus on finishing up school. kate admired the way you prioritized your studies, but there were times like these in which she cursed your determination. all she wanted was to see you out there, amongst the crowd, cheering her on. a big ‘20’ plastered on your shirt to show your support and a gratifying smile on your face. you were her lucky charm, she would say. but now she here, far from home and missing her girl.

it was the night before the game and kate and the team had opted for a nice dinner out. something to hype everyone up and to boost morale…well that’s what she was told. but it did little to cheer her up and get her excited. she dreaded leaving her lonely hotel room, somewhat dim and weary without you there with her. it had been a long time since she stayed in a room without you. kate had to fight her own mind to attend dinner with the girls, just wanting to stay in and facetime you instead. nevertheless, she managed to get dressed up and make an appearance.

the entire night she was miserable, as expected. she wanted to join in on the conversations, talk about what her teammates were talking about. but she couldn’t help but feel sorry for herself. she was still jet lagged, tired, nervous, and definitely missing you. she couldn’t even eat her food because she couldn’t focus on anything else but the image of you. memories of your relationship flooded her mind as she messed with the food on her plate, all she wanted was to go back home.

not able to stand it anymore, she made some excuse about being sick so she could leave. she packed up the leftovers to bring back to her hotel room and bid everyone a good night. her time would be much better spent texting or calling you than feeling sorry for herself at the table.

finally, she made it back to her room. without a second thought she was changing her clothes and crawling into bed, pulling out her phone and pulling up your contact. she had no hesitation in clicking on the ‘facetime’ button.

the phone rang several times, making her worried that you had already gone to bed for the night. but, on the 4th ring, the call went through and your face appeared on the screen. it was a gorgeous sight, she thought, seeing you there. you had taken off your makeup already, pulled your hair back, and tucked yourself into your shared bed. oh how she longed to be in that bed right now. you had instantly smiled when you saw kate’s face, making her heart ache for you.

“hi baby!” you chimed.

and that’s all she needed to hear. all of her worries, doubts, all of her anxiety was out the window now. she had just wanted an ounce of your attention all day, and at last, she could relax finally having it.

There's nothin' sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once from the cherry tree

“what did you say?” kate whispered, so shocked that she could hardly speak.

tonight was not a usual one. you had come home upset and stressed out, the past few days you’d been struggling with your mental health. it wasn’t often that you had difficult days, but when you did, kate was at your side and ready to help you in whatever way you needed. but tonight you felt inconsolable.

with kate becoming more popular in the media with her upcoming career, there had been a lot of press coverage. you actually hadn’t had an issue with it, you were thrilled for her to see that she was getting so much attention. but with the praise and positivity online also came the negative parts as well. you had seen a few articles and instagram posts concerning yours and kate’s relationship. seeing your name in bold headlines caught your attention. it was a bunch of nonsense, really, some random person online blabbering about nothing. they were clearly bothered by the fact that you and kate were very much in love, writing about how ‘kate could find someone much better’ or how she ‘should be with someone in her own league’. you tried to remind yourself of how foolish that was, kate loved you deeply and wouldn’t ever think of leaving you for someone else. but, with your history of self image issues and mental health, it was hard to believe it yourself.

“i said,” you were both sat on the couch, thighs barely touching. tears streamed down your face as you had your head turned away from kate. you had seen another one of those damned articles earlier and it seemed to be your breaking point, sending you into a fit of sorrow “i said i don’t know why you’re still with me”

the statement had caught her quite off guard. how could you possibly think such a thing? had kate done something? were you suddenly falling out of love? her heart was shattering as she sat there, desperately trying to figure out what had gotten you upset.

“baby,” her hand found its way to your cheek, gently guiding your head to turn back to her. your eyes were red and your lashes damp as you locked eyes with her “how could you say that? i love you more than anything in the world-i don’t understand”

“i just…i’ve been seeing all of those posts about us, kate” sobs racked your body and you hiccuped to try and catch your breathe “i see all the things they say about us and i can’t help but feel like you deserve more than me”

she had known about those posts for some time now, since she saw you inspecting one the other day. it broke her knowing you were indulging in all the ridiculous things people were saying about your relationship.

“hey hey hey” she wrapped an arm around you, forcing you to move closer to her “i don’t want anyone but you, got it? you have no idea how fucking in love with you i am”

a scoff fell from your lips briefly before you shook your head. you wanted to believe her, but your mind was so convinced otherwise “you’re just saying that”

“well allow me to enlighten you then?” she prodded, wiping the tears from under yours eyes. with reluctance, you nodded.

“i have never loved someone so much in my life” she began “i don’t even know where to start because there’s so much i love about you that it would take forever to say it all. i love the way you love me. how you take care of me all the time without me having to ask. how you make me breakfast in bed and how you brush my hair before we fall asleep. i love how you send me pictures of cute things you see in the store when you should really only be getting groceries. i love that you cry during movies even if it’s supposed to be happy because it shows how deeply you love things. and i love that you always think of people, even though that sometimes means you forget to take care of yourself. but i love that too, i love that i get to be the person that shows you how much love you deserve. that i get to sit here on nights like these and tell you how wonderful you are. because it’s true. honey, you are the best thing that has every happened to me and i’d be fucking crazy to let you go”

she let out a deep sigh, having lost her breath from her confession. if she had anymore air in her, she’d still be rambling on and on. the two of you stared at each other for a faint moment, her blue eyes gleaming back at you. your bottom lip quivered as another tear rolled down your cheek, although this time, it was a cry of joy.

“kate martin,” you muttered, almost speechless “i love you so so much”

she just chuckled softly and smiled at you. she guided you into a much needed hug, feeling your head tuck itself underneath her chin and your arms fall over her shoulders.

“i love you a thousand times more”

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She'd give me toothaches just from kissin' me

it was dark outside already, signifying the late hours of the night. you weren’t sure what time it was, definitely late enough that you should be asleep. but instead you and kate were both still up.

the orangey glow from your bedside lamp illuminated your bodies, creating silhouettes on the bedroom wall. kate was laid against the bed, back against the headboard and head tilted back. you were hovering over her as you straddled her waist with legs on either side of her figure. your head dipped down to her exposed neck, lips connecting lazily to her supple skin. eager hands roamed her shoulders and down the sides of her torso. her hands did the same, anxious to touch you wherever she could.

this was another instance in which kate unfortunately had to be away from home for an extended period of time. like every other time, she thought about returning home to you every second that she was gone. she hated not being able to touch you, to feel you, to know that you were right by her side. you had also been yearning for her arrival and hated her absence just as much. so when she was on her way home, she knew she would be having her way with you that night, no matter how late it might be. it may have been well into the early hours of this morning at this point, but the need to be with each other was a far greater need than sleep.

when she stepped foot in that house, she was already dropping her bags at the door and ridding of her shoes. sock clad feet marched quietly up the stairs as she began imagining kissing you for the first time in over a week. she pushed the door to your room open ever so gently, taking in your inviting presence. you had been fighting sleep, she could tell. your eyes peeking through low eyelids, hair messy from laying against the pillows, your lips turned in a sloppy smile. what a sight for sore eyes.

she was tempted to tell you to go to sleep, to get some rest that she knew you needed. but you were already sitting up and crawling over to her side of the bed where she now stood. one of her oversized tshirts hung loosely on your body, your lacey panties emerging from the bottom. before she had the chance to do so much as greet you, your hands were gripping her shirt and tugging her into you. soft lips molded into hers as you frantically kissed her. she took it as a sign that you needed her just as much as she needed you. so she let herself indulge, slithering into bed with you. articles of clothing were discarded to floor. your shirt thrown over your shoulder, kate’s sweatpants and top banished to a pile next to the bed.

now you were here, idly making out, taking each other in as much as possible. one might think you hadn’t seen one another in years by the way you both were acting. your bare chests were pressed together, creating arousing friction. kate’s fingers dug into the soft skin of your ass where her fingernails left small indents. she was breathing heavily and groaning as you left dark purple marks along her collarbone and the tops of her breasts, a reminder of your devotion. her hands pressed deeper into you, guiding your hips in a smooth rhythm of grinding against her lap. the room felt hot from the breathy moans and content sighs.

once you decided you were done marking the skin of kate’s chest, you made your way back to her lips. both of you were too tired to do anything other than this, just needing to be close to each other. not that you needed much else, having her lips on yours was enough to keep you satisfied. it was like your lips were meant for hers. they fit so perfectly together, moved against yours in the most delicious way.

kate let out another moan as she felt your lips grace hers. the sensation sent shivers through her veins. kissing you had to be the best feeling in the world to her. sometimes she felt sorry for the rest of the world, because what a sad life it would be to not know what it would be like to kiss you. and at the same time she felt so damn lucky that it was her, and only her, that got to know what this felt like.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

No grave can hold my body down���

“i hope you know that i’m absolutely head over heels for you,” she said next to you “you do know that, right?”

you hummed in response, nose scrunching as you looked at her. the amount of guests at your wedding must have been well into the one hundreds, but right here in this moment, it was just the two of you.

underneath a sky full stars was the makeshift dance floor of your wedding venue, marbled tiles beneath your feet. twinkling lights lit up the quaint garden of your backyard that you and kate both decided would be the perfect place to hold your reception. it was the middle of your first dance as a married couple and it was the most perfect moment of your life. your dress swayed behind you in the breeze, hair cascading around your face elegantly. kate looked even more beautiful than she normally did, if that was even possible. both of her hands rested on your waist and your arms looped around her neck as you danced across the floor slowly. your wedding playlist sounded in the distance and your families were watching you with teary eyes, but you and kate were only focused on each other.

“i do,” you replied “i hope you know that i’m also madly in love with you”

“i do” she had repeated like she did during her declaration of intent at the ceremony. you would never forget the look on her face when she’d said it for the first time “i’m never going to get tired of this”

“of what? our first dance?” you laughed, head falling back briefly “hate to break it to you, babe, but i think it’s gonna have to end at some point”

she laughed too, shaking her head. she pulled you in closer as her eyes wandered over the features of your face.

“no” she grinned “of looking at you”

your face was already turning a bright shade of pink, you could feel it as you smiled, but you didn’t mind one bit. you let your arms fall from around her neck as you heard the song of your dance come to an end.

your hands traveled up to take her face in your hands, something you have done often, a small action of your love. they directed her face to drop down to your level. you got onto the tips of your toes to meet her half way, kissing her passionately like your life depended on it. both of you smiled into the kiss, hearing everyone around you cheer as your dance concluded.

and, god, did it feel good to be loved like this.

…I'll crawl home to her

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

A/N: i feel like this started out so good, but then i kinda fucked it up at the end, but i hope you all like it !!

[planetpedri]

hector fort who loves teasing reader over anything and everything! they can b already dating or just friends ^_^

Lucky for you — Héctor Fort.

Pairing: Héctor Fort x Fem!Reader

Summary: An ice cream hang out with your best friend that turns into something much more, with a side of teasing.

Word count: 900

Disclaimer/s: fluff + teasing via Héctor!

A/N: i don’t even want to talk abt how i’ve had this in my drafts since August..

The summer heat wrapped around your body comfortably. You wore a pink summer dress that gave you just enough cover without making you sweat uncontrollably. A bonus was the ice cream that kept your mouth and hands cold, further lessening your body temperature.

Across the table from you sat Héctor, your best friend. He had the day off and you two hadn’t seen each other a lot recently, so he figured it’d be a good day to take you out in the city.

You met at your favorite ice cream parlor that had a balcony overlooking the ocean. Héctor was in the middle of telling you something Lamine had told him at practice, adorning a wide smile that reached his eyes as he laughed.

You could hardly comprehend what he was telling you, if you were being completely honest. Somehow, your attention span had disappeared, your soul focus being on Héctor’s smile.

The teen noticed the second you’d fallen into a daze. You’d went from complete sentences, to simple hums, nods, and two worded responses. His lips pull into a teasing smile, “and then I bought an elephant and rode it off into the sunset.”

You hum, nodding your head slowly, then you blink. Wait, huh? “What?” Your spoon clangs into the near empty bowl of ice cream.

“Am I that handsome you just opt out of listening to a very interesting story?” He quirks an eyebrow. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do not mind at all.”

Exhaling slowly, you roll your eyes. “Shut up. I was just thinking.” Wow! Very convincing. Even you didn’t believe that would throw him off.

“About me, obviously.” Héctor grins. “Or, what else could you possibly be thinking about? Hm?”

Your tongue darts out to chase your lips, tasting the excess ice cream on it. “No. I was thinking about…” You trail off, brain suddenly blank of excuses. “Why don’t you go ahead and shove your mouth full of ice cream and leave me alone, sound good?”

Héctor tsk’s, his tongue clicking against the top of his mouth. “Nuh-uh! Come on, admit it, you were admiring how good I look.”

Suddenly, the heat of the summer sun was getting to you. Your face flushes red, your hands grow clammy. Definitely the sun, not what your best friend had just said. It was totally the suns fault. “You’re insufferable. Remind me why i’m friends with you?”

The curly haired boy cocks his head to the side, “i’ve been wondering the same thing.” He is quick to add, “why we’re just friends, that is.”

Ohhhh…

Oh that got you.

“Very funny.” You stutter out, “so! Ice cream? How is it?” That had to be the most pathetic attempt at saving yourself.

Héctor’s face grows a bit more serious, though it was still full of humor. “Quit deflecting. I’m serious! Why are we friends, just friends?”

In that moment, your ice cream became the most interesting thing in the world. You play with the melting ice cream nervously. “Héctor…” You sigh, “don’t say things like that.”

Héctor leans back on the cushioned seat, “why not? Are you trying to say you don’t like me?” He knew you did. It’s not like you weren’t (unfortunately) very obvious.

“That’s not—“ Your lips pull into a thin line, “are you teasing me again?”

“I’m dead serious! I wouldn’t tease you about this.. well, I would, but i’m not right now.” He swears, holding one hand to his heart and one in the air, “on my whole football career.”

Your gaze finally flickers back up to the boy, eyebrows lifting curiously. “You’re serious about this?”

“Very.” He nods, “so?”

You take a deep breath, pushing the glass ice cream bowl away from your hands so you could clasp them together. “Fine. Sure, Héctor. There is like, a possibility that it’s true. Of course, that is if there’s also a possibility—“

“Oh, I do. No questioning.” He was straight forward, eyes flickering across your face as his lips twitch into a smirk.

Suppressing a smile, you laugh lightly. “Okay, straight to the point… well, now what?” You lean toward the table, head rolling to the side with a lifted eyebrow.

“Well, I propose the next time we go out for ice cream, we label it a date. Not just a.. what do we call this?” His forehead creases as he motions between the two of you.

You tap your chin, thinking for a moment. “Well, a hang out, idiot.” You laugh, “as friend’s usually do.”

“And we aren’t friends anymore, so next time it’s a date.” He smiles, sitting up straight in his seat. “We could always go somewhere nicer, if you want.”

“I like our simplicity.” You shrug, “so I prefer it that way. No big things, wait—“ You point a finger up, “don’t believe that’s how i’m going to feel when we’re dating. I expect big things from you, Mr.Fort.”

Héctor chuckles, his head shaking as the laughter flows from his lips. You were so glad you could enjoy that sound without having to attempt to hide it. “I would never imagine doing anything but big things for you.”

Your knees felt weak. He was making you so giddy, you couldn’t help the wide smile that lifted your entire face. “Good.” That’s all you could even say, you were in such a happy daze.

“Good.” He hums, nodding his head with a smile that matched yours, if not bigger.

Likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. Feel free to ask for tags in any of my future posts, all or specific ones <3

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[radishaur]

Second Chance (Un-Ascended Astarion x Reader)

Warnings: minor spoilers for BG3 (takes place post-game)

Genre: fluff, slight angst, suggestive

Part: 1/1

Summary: A lot has changed since the fight to save Baldur's Gate, Astarion included.

Author’s Note: This fic has minor spoilers for BG3 but I tried to keep it vague enough that you could read it without majorly spoiling it. The "reader" in this situation is Tav from the game, but Tav is practically a self-insert so you get the jist. Not a Durge fic (yet). Also, this is with un-ascended Astarion. I apologize if this is OOC, I have such a hard time pinning down his mannerisms. This has been rotting in my drafts for way too long, so I just decided to hell with it, it needs to get posted. Lastly, I took some liberties with his backstory since it's slightly vague. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Happy reading!

The only thing lighting up the barren city roads as you made your way back to your room was the dying flicker of the sparsely placed lamp posts. Not even the moon itself was making an appearance, cloaked behind grey clouds so thick that not even a ray of her light could reach the street below. It was nothing you weren't used to as an adventurer. The job kept you out late by nature since most of the types you were after did their business well after the sun had set.

The dark of night wasn't what sent a shiver down your spine. No, rather it was the unmistakable feeling that someone was watching you. Your time adventuring had taught you to recognize that feeling quite well and there was no mistake: someone was following you. You ducked into the nearest side street to draw them out and readied yourself to attack if necessary.

The feeling of a hand on your shoulder was all you needed to react.

You shifted your weight forward and used the other person's clear surprise to throw them off balance and over your shoulder. They hit the ground with a thud and a groan and you crouched down and brought a knife to their throat before you even had time to register the set of all too familiar red eyes that were looking up at you.

When you finally looked down at who was beneath you, you felt sick. You would recognize that face anywhere, even upside down and in the dark. Hell, you think you would recognize him blind despite all the time that had passed since you'd seen him. He smirked, his fangs peeking out as he tsked.

"That's no way to greet an old friend, my sweet," he teased, still as confident as he ever was, even with a blade to his throat.

"Astarion," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't sound so shocked, darling. I told you I would come find you, didn't I?"

You didn't say anything, your thoughts racing a mile a minute. You thought about him quite often, but actually seeing him in person again was enough to send your mind spiraling down memory lane. From when you met, to your victory over the Absolute, to your bittersweet goodbye...

You were snapped back to reality by Astarion's voice once more, slightly softer as he spoke this time as if he saw the thoughts racing behind your eyes.

"Why don't you let me up," he said, despite the fact the grip on your knife had long since loosened, leaving him enough room to push his way up on his own should he have wished.

You swallowed thickly and stood up, stowing your knife back in its place before reaching a hand out for him to help himself up. He was already in the process by the time your hand was offered, but he took it anyway, using it to pull himself up to full height in front of you.

For all the time that had passed, he looked exactly the same. His skin was still milky white, his hair still curled around his pointed ears just so, and his eyes still found a way to look straight through you and into your soul. The faint light of the street lamps made him look ethereal, otherworldly even, as he stood in front of you.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, an air of disbelief in your voice as you regarded him.

"Don't tell me you forgot about our conversation," he said, a slight tease in his voice masking the very obvious concern.

And oh, what a stupid question that was, because how could you ever forget it?

"Hello darling. I was just thinking about freedom. How I'm free of the parasite - free of Cazador. How I'll never be in someone's power again And all it cost was my life in the sun. Now I belong to the shadows," he had said, gesturing his arms out to reference the dark of night around the both of you.

"What are you going to do? What's next?" you had asked.

He paused, thinking for a moment.

"I...I don't know," he admitted, taking a moment of silence to think before saying, "I've never been able to decide for myself."

"Now is as good a time as any to start," you had joked, hoping it would lighten the mood a bit before saying, "Let's celebrate our victory tonight properly. You can tell me what adventure we'll set out on then."

The night carried on, with all of your companions around the fire, telling stories and drinking together, happier than ever and without a care in the world. Later on in the night, the two of you snuck off together, just like you had in the early days of your traveling together. It had filled you with nostalgia and you told him as much as you laid next to him, staring up at the stars.

"We have come quite far together, haven't we," he said, although his voice had sounded miles away.

"What's wrong?" you had asked, shifting so your head was propped up and you were on your side to face him.

He didn't say anything for a long time, simply looking up at the stars with a frown. All you wanted to do was kiss away the wrinkles that furrowed his brows until he would smile once more, but you resisted, letting him have a moment to collect his thoughts.

"When I was Cazador's beloved spawn," he started, spitting out Cazador's name venomously like he always had, "I had no control over myself. I spent 200 years doing whatever he told me and paying the price the few times I didn't."

You nodded. This was obviously nothing new to you, but you also knew he wouldn't be saying it again if it didn't matter, so you stayed silent, encouraging him to continue.

"And then when I was finally free of him and had some level of control, I just reverted back to my instinct. I manipulated you for my own gain. Nothing had changed." he said, frustration evident in his voice as he said, "I don't even remember anything before Cazador. Not a damned thing. Only his stories of what happened."

"That must be difficult," you replied softly.

He didn't say anything to that, but he did finally turn to face you and even without the tadpole's connection you could still feel his emotions so clearly. The inner turmoil was written so plainly on him that you wondered how he had ever seemed like a mystery to you instead of an open book.

"My point is that I have no idea who I really am. I've always been following someone else's orders, someone else's plans. Even here, with all of you," he said, sighing before adding, "I don't know what kind of person I really am, without following the moral compass of everyone around me. I've only ever known orders."

You stayed silent for a few moments before deciding to ask, "Have you decided what you want to do after this? That might be a place to start."

"I want to go to the Underdark first. I can't just let my brothers and sisters wander aimlessly. Then maybe I'll come back here. Try and find clues of what my life looked like before... everything," he answered.

"Then we'll leave tomorrow. After it gets dark," you said with a smile before yawning, the adventures of the day finally catching up on you.

You missed the way his expression broke just slightly as your eyes scrunched up during your yawn. Whatever he had meant to tell you had died on his tongue and he simply kissed you, a little deeper than he ever had before, and let you fall asleep in his arms.

When you had woken up, you were in your tent instead of out in the grass. You had smiled at the image of Astarion carrying you there in the dead of night to tuck you in and made your way to his tent to thank him, only to find it missing. In its place was a small box and a sealed letter with your name scrawled out in a posh-looking cursive.

He had left in the middle of the night. Packed up his tent and left nothing behind except his last parting gift to you. You didn't open the box, still hadn't all these years later. You simply unsealed the letter with shaking hands and read the whole thing 3 times over. He apologized for leaving without saying anything to you but said he needed to learn how to be his own person before he was truly with another. He thanked you for everything you had done for him over your time together before promising to return and find you when he had figured everything out. He said that when he came back, he would be yours in every way you would take him, should you still want him.

He signed the letter with Your love, Astarion and that was the last you heard from him.

Your face soured as it all came rushing back to you in full force. You scowled at him, all your previous excitement that he had returned disappearing much like he had. Old wounds ached as if they were brand new.

"I would hardly call a letter left in the dead of night a conversation," you retorted, snatching the hand that you had forgotten was still holding his back to you.

His lips pulled into a small smile, lifting up at the corner, but his eyes saddened in contrast. You clenched your fists and looked away from him, needing a moment to collect your thoughts.

"No, I suppose you're right," he said, shuffling on his feet slightly before adding, "You have every right to be upset."

Your eyes whipped to him and the dam holding back your anger broke.

"Upset?" you asked, the venom in your voice causing him to startle slightly, "Upset doesn't even begin to cover it, Astarion."

You took a deep breath to steel yourself, to keep yourself from shouting at him in the middle of the dark alleyway.

"You left me in the middle of the night after everything we went through together. You took me to your grave and told me you didn't want to lose what we had and then you left," you said, your throat getting tighter and tighter with each word, "You let me believe I was coming with you and let me make a complete fool of myself. All I had left of you was some letter and a stupid box."

You shifted on your feet slightly as you thought about that exact box, tucked away in your dresser underneath all your clothes. It sat, unopened, atop the letter that had ripped your whole world apart. You looked back up at him, trying to gauge any kind of reaction from him as you said, your voice cracking despite it being no louder than a whisper, "It's been 3 years."

He kept quiet while you composed yourself for what was the third time that night and then took a tentative step forward. When you didn't move back, he took another and then another until he was right in front of you. His left hand went to yours and his right hand cupped your face gently, his expression suspiciously calm but his eyes were a swirling mix of different emotions.

You felt your heart rate accelerate at the proximity and you cursed yourself for still loving him after leaving so long ago without a word. With all your anger released you were left only with the profound longing to be with him, to touch him, kiss him, hold him close. Every detail you had memorized about his face was even more striking in person than you remember and hearing his voice again after so long...

"I know. There's no amount of apologies I could make that would undo that mistake, although I am deeply sorry. I was afraid to be honest with you and it made me a coward," he said, taking a deep breath as he pulled away slightly, letting his hand drop from your face, "You asked me why I'm here and I didn't answer you fully."

You didn't move even a single inch, worried that any movement would scare him away.

"I'm here....," he took another deep breath to steady his nerves before he continued, "I'm here because I love you. I thought about you every day these past 3 years and there's nothing more I want than to be with you. I want to apologize to you for how I handled things and if you do still feel the same way, I want to spend the rest of my immortal life proving that to you."

His eyes were open, bearing everything he was feeling for you to read. You saw his sincerity and his feelings plain as day. Your heart constricted as you thought about your next words.

"I...Astarion...," you stumbled over your words, trying to get your heart and your head to align as they both asked for different things.

"Give me a chance to explain and properly apologize. After that, if you never wish to see me again, then," he paused, trailing off before finishing, "I'll disappear into the night once more for good this time."

You hesitated, taking a moment to let your feelings settle. The swirling mix of anger, despair, and intense longing slowed the longer you looked at him, and left behind was only the feeling of anxious uncertainty.

You saw his eyes searching your face for a sign as the silence continued to drag out, but he didn't say anything. Didn't even make a move, once again letting you decide as he simply waited. You swallowed, thick as it stuck in your throat. This was the same man you knew from so long ago and yet he was so different. His time alone had no doubt changed him, but was that enough?

Before either of you had a chance to say anything more, footsteps echoed out in the street and you heard someone shout, "Hey! Who's there?"

Your eyes snapped from the direction of the voice back to Astarion and you knew that both of you would need to leave immediately if you didn't want to be caught. Regardless of your feelings towards him, you knew that a vampire being caught out at night would lead to nothing good and you didn't want anything bad to happen to him. He seemed to understand that as well as his face morphed into the more guarded expression you were used to seeing.

"If you decide to give me a chance, meet me at the town's overlook tomorrow night at 10 pm," he said, his voice low before he kissed your left hand and then disappeared into the shadows of the alleyway.

You weren't far behind, slipping into the shadows and making your way back to your room. You tossed and turned all night, the anxiety of tomorrow night and your impending decision looming over your conscience until you could finally get some sleep.

Despite having faced some of the worst horrors that Faerun had to offer, Astarion was pretty sure he had never been so nervous.

He exhaled to try and release some of his anxiety before stepping back to look at the setup he had laid out. He had placed a few thick, woven blankets on the ground to cushion against the hard dirt floor with a fuzzy, fur blanket on top. Off to the side, he put a magic phonograph programmed with the music he had curated for the evening, and right in the middle of the blanket was a tray filled with more fruits and cheeses than one could possibly eat.

He looked out over the cliff and down to the city, illuminated in the soft yellow light of the street lamps now that it was finally nighttime. The moon was peeking out through the clouds and a slight breeze was blowing the hair around his face and the leaves in the trees. For all intents and purposes, he had picked a perfect night.

There was still a good amount of time before you were supposed to arrive, so he simply leaned against the tree that was shading the blanket setup and waited anxiously.

He found himself watching the town below and reminiscing about his time with you. There was no guarantee that you would show up tonight, but there had never been any guarantees in your time together. With everything happening, there was never the promise of even the next day, yet you always came back. Chose him over any others and went out of your way to support him.

He spent more time than he liked to admit wondering if he had made the right decision in leaving. He knew that learning more about himself was something he needed to do, but he missed you more than he had anticipated. He knew that he loved you, but he had underestimated how that would affect him now that he wasn't around you all the time. You followed him like a ghost. He saw you in every face, heard you in every laugh, and taunted him in every kind action he witnessed.

After a while, he could admit that his fear drove him away in a harmful way. Afraid of his love for you and of what potentially dark secrets awaited him in his past, he ran. The more time he spent apart from you, the more he wondered if you had really loved him. The small part of his brain that whispered cruel nothings to him told him that you could never love him, not like he loved you at least. There was a chance that your connection to him was born purely from circumstance. Now, with no parasite connecting you and no shared goal to live, you might not feel the same.

He almost hadn't returned, but his guilt over how he left you and the regret he knew he would feel if he never tried to ask for forgiveness convinced him. Your reaction to seeing him had quelled some of his doubts. Maybe you weren't connected by the tadpole anymore, but your eyes betrayed your feelings just like they always had. There was a swirl of emotions there, battling for dominance, but he knew that somewhere in there amongst that conflict were the remnants of what he had broken. That bond built on love and sacrifice that brought him back from the dark path he was walking on before he met you.

He was brought back from his thoughts by a particularly cold gust of wind. He bit his lip slightly as he tried once more to calm his nerves. There was nothing for him to do but hope that you still loved him enough to try one last time.

The walk to the lookout was quiet. Fall had finally come after months of intense heat and the light cool breeze rustling your hair and nipping at your face was nice. Other than the sound of rustling leaves and your footsteps on the cobbled path, it was just you and your thoughts.

It would be easy to lie to yourself and insist that you had thought long and hard about whether to meet Astarion, but deep down you already had your answer from the moment he asked. So many years apart and he still had a hold on you.

Eventually, the cobble path turned to dirt and you found yourself hiking up the hill, your heart pumping from more than just the exercise. You were anxious to hear what he had to say but more than that you were worried about the next step. You loved him still, that much was undeniable, but you didn't trust him. That was something that would take a long time to build back up if it was even possible, and you wondered if things could really go back to how they were before.

Finally, you reached the top of the hill and the path flattened out. After walking further down the path, it began to open up and you found yourself breathless at the sight in front of you. Your eyes roamed over the blankets, food, and atmosphere that was laid out underneath the tree, each item placed with care. The breeze was rustling the tree leaves, causing a few leaves to fall here and there down on the blanket. Then, your eyes caught on Astarion. He wasn't facing you, his back towards you as he looked out over the town and you found that even from here he looked beautiful.

His clothes were similar to what he used to wear around camp, but they were made of much finer materials. His shirt was still frilly and the neckline still plunged down, but it seemed to be made of silk and the threads shimmered slightly in the moonlight, and his pants seemed to be a lot thicker material even though they were still black. If you didn't know better you would say that nothing about him had changed, but you knew that wasn't true. His hair which you knew from experience was always tamed was ruffling slightly in the wind.

If you were a painter, the scene in front of you would have been your masterpiece.

After a few moment, he must have felt someone staring because he turned his head slightly to face you. His lips pulled slightly at the corner into a smirk as he spoke.

"Enjoying the view?"

"Perhaps."

Your throat went dry as you looked at him more. His eyes looked you over and you were suddenly reminded that you were severely underdressed compared to him. You hadn't known what to expect, but fancy had not been on the list, so you'd simply worn some of your casual clothes and headed out. Despite that, his gaze still lingered and his smirk melted into a smile. When his eyes met yours, there was a fondness there that made your heartache.

He pushed himself off the tree and walked over to you where your feet were cemented on the dirt. When he was finally standing in front of you, you were relieved to see that he seemed just as nervous as you were. His throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly and reached for your hand. You let him take it, your mind racing too fast to object even if you had wanted to.

"I'm glad you came," he said, pulling your hand up to place a small kiss onto your hand. "I... wasn't sure you would. You'd have every right not to."

"I needed to come. No matter what happens, I... we deserve the closure," you said, your voice quiet but firm.

He nodded, the gesture slightly stiff as the reminder of what tonight could possibly bring hung between the two of you. Still holding your hand, he stepped to the side and gestured with his free hand to the blankets. "Let's catch up and then we can talk."

You gave him your own nod and followed him to the blankets. The closer you got, the more you saw of the view and oh it was lovely. The flickering light of the candles Astarion had laid out around the blanket mixed with the lantern light of the city below, casting everything in a warm glow. It was high enough that you could talk uninterrupted but close enough that the faint noise of the bars and late-nighters could be heard.

Suddenly, you heard music and turned to see that Astarion had started the music machine which was playing some light romantic music. He turned it down so that it didn't overpower your soon-to-be-had conversation and motioned for you to join him on the blankets.

"So," he said as you sat down beside him, "What have you been up to since I've been gone."

Despite how you were still upset with him, your conversation flowed freely. You told him of your job as an adventurer, how you met occasionally with Shadowheart, Halsin, and some of the other members of your group who were still in Bauldur's Gate or nearby, and other stories to fill in the gaps since you had last seen him. In turn, he shared his story with you.

He'd spent the first few months away getting the spawn under control and settled in the Underdark, which had been a task in and of itself. While he was there, he began to adjust once again to life in the shadows. After a while, he set out to do what he originally wanted to do: learn about his past. He knew vaguely about his life before Cazador, just bits and pieces that Cazador had thrown his way when he was "behaving", but now he had a much larger picture.

He had hoped to find his parents alive and well, but unfortunately for him, that was not the case. Cut down not unlike him, his parents were long dead. Whether it was connected to his decision as a magistrate that got him killed was unclear, but it stung all the same. He searched record after record and finally found something that led him to a vacation house not far out of Bauldur's Gate. It was beaten and not well taken care of, but it held more than he could have imagined about his life before Cazador. Pictures, journals, notes, and records stuffed the house and he had combed through them all meticulously. That, combined with the legal records he had been able to get his hands on, painted a clearer picture of who he used to be.

He shared it all with you, promising to take you there and show you some of the pictures himself, should you let him. You talked for hours and barely noticed the hum of the city die down as the night progressed. In all honesty, it was easy to forget why you were here in the first place. The pain and betrayal faded into the background as you talked and you found yourself relaxing more and more. Eventually, he had finished sharing everything and the silence that followed was peaceful.

After hearing him talk, it was clear that he had changed a lot on his journey. The Astarion that once hid between a mask of seduction and good looks was gone, replaced by a man who was much more confident and sure of himself. He was still a flirty, cocky bastard, but he was more genuine. He wasn't afraid anymore. He had gone out into the world and figured out exactly who he used to be and was standing on the other end of it more sure of who he wanted to be in the future. As much as his departure still hurt, you couldn't help but be happy that he seemed so much happier.

The song changing broke you out of your thoughts and you saw Astarion watching you from the corner of your vision. When you turned to meet his gaze, you felt some of the air around you thicken with tension. Astarion must have noticed the shift as well because he stood up and held a hand out for you to take.

"Dance with me," he said, his voice hopeful as he added in a slightly more teasing tone, "I can show off those dance lessons my dear parents paid for."

The reference to his previous story of his upbringing made you laugh and you took his hand as he pulled you up to your feet. "Let's hope they stuck."

He led you to the side of the blankets, close enough to the outlook that you could still see the city and the ocean, but not so close that either of you would fall. He carefully positioned your hands and then his own before moving slowly into a dance. The two of you swayed to the sound of the music, making it easy for you to follow him. Aside from a few fancy moves spinning you around, he mostly just held you close to him. His grip was firm but soft, as if you were something precious to him.

"This reminds me of our first night together," you said, referring to the first night you had spent alone with him.

His mouth quirked up at the comment, clearly amused by the comparison. "I suppose it does."

"It's...," you trailed off, struggling to find the right words to explain it. You met his eyes and settled on, "It's beautiful. Who knew you were such a romantic."

"Only for you, darling."

He held your gaze, his tone devoid of any teasing and it made your heart skip a beat. His thumb rubbed a soothing pattern into your hip as you continued to sway, your eyes never leaving his. He was silent for a long time, neither one of you wanting to break the moment, but eventually, he spoke.

"As much as I'd like to just stay here and enjoy the evening, that wouldn't be fair to you. I owe you a true explanation and an apology."

You stilled slightly, his words reminding you once again why you were here tonight. You nodded at him to indicate that you were ready and continued to dance with him.

"That night, when you were asking me about the future, I began to panic. I told you that night in the graveyard that I wanted something real with you and I meant it, but... I got scared. I kept thinking about how much I never knew about my past and how little I knew about myself now that I was free and it ate away at me. It dawned on me that there was a very real possibility that you would learn the truth about what I was like before Cazador or that being free of the tadpole would change how you saw me and that you would leave. I was terrified of losing you and I let myself slip back into old habits as a result. Hurt them before they can hurt you, and all that."

As he spoke, his eyes clouded over and his grip on you tightened slightly, his stress shining clear as day on his face. You shifted your hand out of his, resting your arms around his neck. He let his other hand grab your waist to match the other and you let yourself play with the hair brushing against the nape of his neck as he continued.

"I'm glad that I left on my own because I needed to learn how to live now that I was free. I have no memories of almost anything before Cazador, so my whole life felt like it was lived being controlled, first by Cazador and then by the Absolute. I loved you and I... I still love you," he said, voice wavering slightly at the admission of his feelings, "But, I needed to learn how to just be. Being in a relationship with you, wasn't like being controlled, but I needed to learn how to be myself. It was something I needed and I'm glad that I can say I know who I am now, but I shouldn't have left the way I did. I should have come to you about it, but I let myself fall back to how I used to act instead."

He stopped dancing then, pulling you closer with one arm and letting the other come up to brush against your throat before cupping your face. The gentleness of his touch made you shiver slightly and his grip on your waist tightened once more.

"I'm sorry, for leaving you in the middle of the night without a word. It will be one of my life's biggest regrets. I thought about you every day that I was gone and I still feel the same about you as the day I left. If you let me, I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I'm yours in every way that you'll take me, should you still want me."

His last line quoting the letter broke the last of your resolve as you leaned into his touch, your eyes watering as you finally spoke.

"You're an asshole. I'm glad that you're happy, but I hate that you told me you loved me and then left in the middle of the night. I hate that you made me wait here for so long without another word from you. I hate that you sauntered so easily back into my life with that stupid, smug smirk. But mostly, I hate that despite all of that I still love you," you said, your voice wavering as tears finally spilled down your face, "I love you just as much as I did before and nothing can change that. Not even you."

You hadn't realized as you were talking just how close to him you had gotten, your hands fisted into his shirt and his hair, but now it was clear as day, even with your eyes clouded by tears. You didn't have time to react before you felt him lean down and slot his lips against yours. His kiss was firm and filled with so much passion and you met him with a fierce determination of your own. Your lips fell into a familiar rhythm, almost as if it hadn't been years since the two of you had done this.

He pulled away slightly, murmuring I love you's against your skin as he kissed his way from your lips to your cheeks, the gentle press of his lips kissing the tears away. It was too much and yet not enough all at once. You clung to him like a lifeline as he met your lips once more, his kiss like a breath of fresh air as you were drowning at sea. You didn't know when he had picked you up and moved you onto the blanket, but suddenly you were on his lap underneath the tree once more.

His touch was like fire, burning everything it touched and you wanted more. You wanted it all and he was more than happy to oblige. The world around the two of you faded into nothing as he gave you everything, skin to skin, heart to burning heart.

Later, as the two of you lay under the stars and blankets pressed up against each other, he pulled a box out from its hiding spot amongst the blankets. You shifted slightly, pulling the blankets with you as he sat up with the box now in hand. It only took a few moments for you to recognize what it was.

"How did you get that?" you asked, confusion evident. "That's been tucked into my dresser for years."

"You wound me, darling. A man of my talents can steal anything with enough time and resources."

You felt a lump grow in your throat as you looked at the box. You would recognize that box anywhere, its image haunting you in your nightmares about that day. You never had the courage to open it after reading the letter Astarion had left and that same trepidation came back in full as it stared back at you now.

"Admittedly, I was hopeful about how tonight would go. I knew there was a chance you hadn't opened it, so I grabbed it from your room before you came back for the day," he explained, the hand next to yours on the ground brushing against it in reassurance.

He repositioned slightly and opened the box. The inside of it was a plush red velvet and nestled right in the middle, a ring. Not a wedding ring or even anything incredibly fancy, but a ring nonetheless. It was polished steel with three small gems embedded in the middle. Their colors danced in the light and you found yourself reaching out to touch it.

"What...," you said, your voice failing you for the millionth time that night.

"Consider it a promise," he supplied, his voice quiet as he plucked the ring out of the box and guided it onto one of your fingers. "I want something real with you. I'm yours for as long as you'll have me."

You had both changed significantly in your time apart. Astarion had broken your trust and it would be a long time before it would fully come back. You knew things could never go back to how they were before, but maybe that was ok. Maybe you both weren't the same people you used to be, but you were both learning, both trying to be better, trying to navigate life after the Absolute, trying to live. Maybe that trust was broken, but that broken bond could come back stronger. There was no doubt in your mind as you kissed him once again, murmuring against his lips.

"Here's to forever, then."

ღ radishaur — i do not own any of these characters. do not plagiarize. please enjoy and remember to be respectful! 

[causenessus]

more than anything else. | akaashi k.

I LOST THE REQUEST BC I TRIED TO SAVE YOUR ASK AS A DRAFT I'M SO SORRY ANON </3 (i just wanted to do a fancy title color </3333 which thank u wyr for teaching me how!! i finally did it!!) they asked for a drabble with akaashi about a reader struggling in med school who isn't doing as well as she wants to but tries to keep it hidden but ends up breaking down in front of akaashi </3 i hope that's an acceptable synopsis of ur amazing idea anon </3 thank you sm for your request i loved writing this!!

akaashi x f!reader

written in 3rd pov

dialogue prompt from 1k followers event: ❤️‍🩹 -> "you deserve more"

"but still i'm alone, and that's what scares me the most. forgetting myself, forgetting what i said i would be." from clown car by lowertown

word count: 1.9k words

lots of hurt/comfort </33 akaashi and y/n are already in an established relationship

thank u to my very cool sister in med school whose experiences very heavily influenced this entire story which might very well be me tomorrow when i get my college test scores xx

NOT edited esp after i lost my draft the first time. tumblr, i have words to speak to u. the tumblr hq complaint list ree and me have formed gets longer everyday.

tokyo’s medical school program had been no joke. for as long as she could remember, she had wanted to be a nurse. she'd dreamed of it for so long that even when she didn’t initially pass the entry exam, she kept trying. it took her four times to finally get accepted. keiji had told her she was resilient, and their low acceptance rate was nothing she could control.

he was right, but she couldn’t help feeling worn down a little. she had known people who’d passed the exam on their first try, yet all her work up until that fourth retake hadn’t been enough. although they were in completely different majors, she subconsciously compared herself to keiji, as well. it made her sick to think that she was being left behind. while he had already finished his first year of university, she’d spent the twelve months completing prerequisites and working in a hospital, unable to do anything else.

she knew she couldn’t give up after coming so far, but things didn’t get easier once she made it into the program. keiji had already been busy enough with his own school work, but with the both of them trying to balance their classes, they didn’t find much time to do things outside of studying together. their daily routine became one of them buying coffee and meeting up at the library, staying there until it closed, and then walking home to collapse in bed together, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

the familiarity of their schedule was a stable anchor in both of their lives; neither of them minded daily study dates. it had always been this way since they met–being together was enough for both of them, they didn't need anything fancy. they showed their love for each other through looks from behind a computer screen and cold coffees with extra shots.

yet despite how hard she studied, she couldn’t help but feel like she was falling behind her peers. some of her classes she had passed by the skin of her teeth and when she compared that to her outstanding grades throughout all of high school, seeing even a B was enough to make her heart drop. even worse were C’s and D’s. although a part of her was just thankful to have passed all of her classes, she wanted to do better. she knew plenty of classmates who were struggling just as much as her–these classes weren’t meant to be easy, but when she continued to do worse than she wanted to, that didn’t stop her from feeling like a failure.

it was affecting her entire being; how confident she felt in her competency as a person and how much she was even contributing to the world. was it even worth it for her to continue studying medicine? was she worth all the money her friends and family had spent on her? worth the love keiji gave her? what if he found someone better?

one particular night in the library, her worries had overwhelmed her to the point of tears, and keiji had paused what he was doing to help her.

“i’m sorry, i'm distracting you from your work,” she had cried, trying to stop her tears, “you don’t have to help me or anything, i’m okay.”

“i’m not going to ignore you when you're crying, y/n,” he had said, voice filled with nothing but care and worry. “tell me what’s wrong,” he urged, moving around the table to sit next to her.

she’d explained her anxieties to him briefly that night, but she never wanted to inconvenience him again. even when she felt like she was drowning in her stress, she made sure to keep up a front around him. she could never erase the thought of how much better he deserved, despite his continued reassurance that there was no one better fit for him than her. 

their study dates had returned back to normal after that night. frequent trips to a coffee shop for another coffee resumed, and their stolen glances across the tables continued. she was currently working on a large presentation–an insurance project that would boost her grade if she was able to score at least an 80 on her upcoming final.

she felt good about the material; the project helped her study the chapters on top of the cramming she was already doing. her test scores in the class had averaged around somewhere in the 80s anyway and she felt confident she’d end the class with a good grade. keiji had reminded her of bokuto, who had barely gotten by in his high school classes, yet still graduated and made it out to be a talented volleyball player. although it was a completely different field from her, thinking about bokuto had helped her worry less about perfect grades. she wasn’t content with bare minimum grades that meant she was only just barely passing, but she’d been reminded that As weren't the standard and plenty of people had had successful careers despite struggling with school.

but perhaps she had got her hopes up too high, and everything seemed to fall apart when the notification popped up on her screen. 

not even an 80.

when keiji got home, the lights were off. his mentor at his internship had asked him to stay late and help with their current big project. it was a good opportunity and chance for experience, and he had texted her that he wouldn’t be coming home until later that day in order to keep working. she'd replied, telling him to be safe but had said nothing about a night shift at the hospital; she should've been home.

when he called for her, he didn’t get a response, and he was quick to put away his shoes before making his way to their bedroom. he didn’t think she’d be sleeping so early into the night, but perhaps she’d had a rough day.

then he remembered that her test score for her final exam was supposed to come out today.

the light pattering of rain on their roof was almost loud enough to mask the sniffle he heard, but the moonlight peaking through the curtain of their window illuminated her silhouette.

she was curled up on the wooden floor of their bedroom, leaning against the bed, and when he came around the side of the bed, he saw her tear-stained face, looking forward blankly.

“oh, my love—” his heart twisted at the sight of her, his chest tightening with nausea and guilt thinking about how he’d left her alone on the night she’d needed him the most. “did it not go well?” he asked softly, kneeling next to her with a hand on her back.

at the mention of the test, she choked out a sob as she shook her head and tried to hide her face, “no. i failed it, keiji. i failed the entire class.” through the hand on her back, he could feel the way her body was shaking as she tried to keep in her cries.

“let it out, love,” he whispered, encasing her in his arms and squeezing his own eyes shut. his heart hurt for her, imagining the pain she was going through. he heard it in the hiccups and whimpers that escaped her. she’d probably been here all night, and the thought only made him hug her all the more tightly. “they won’t kick you out of the program, right?” he asked.

“no, i get one strike. i’ll have to retake the class, but if i fail another one—” she didn’t finish, only letting out a shaky breath but he understood and he pulled away to hold her face, brushing away the tears that fell from her eyes with his thumbs.

“then it’ll be okay,” he tried to reassure her, “you have a second chance, and you’re going to do great. plenty of other people have failed, too. it’ll be okay. you’ll be okay, and i’ll be here to help you with whatever you need.”

she placed a hand over one of his own that was still on the side of her face, trying her best to calm her breathing down. “keiji,” she whispered, her lips trembling as she tried to hold back another sob that escaped her anyway.

“yes, dear?” he answered, trying to comfort her with a small smile, letting her know he was there and listening.

“why are you even with me?” her voice broke, as if it physically pained her to even say it. her hand dropped back down to the ground as her tears started falling again. “you deserve more. you deserve someone smarter. and better. i can’t even pass my class, what made me think i could do this? i wasn’t resilient for retaking the entrance exam, i was just being stubborn. i should never have been let in. i don’t deserve to be here.” she pressed her palms into her eyes, letting out ragged breaths that turned back into sobs when she pull herself back together.

her words hurt him even more than it hurt her to say. it pained him to hear how lowly she thought of herself when he thought she was the most admirable person he’d ever seen. he could tell the thoughts had been weighing heavily down on her for long–this was the result of pent up emotions she’d been stuffing down ever since that night she cried in the library. he knew that she hadn’t told him everything, but he had trusted that she would open up to him when she was ready.

he moved to grab hold of her hands, gently pulling them away from her face, “i’m with you because of your passion for this career, y/n.” he feels the way her hands start to relax in his hold and keeps going, “just because a test is difficult doesn’t mean you’re not right for this job, y/n. if you enjoy it and you’re passionate about it, that’s all that matters. the rest will come with time. and i know you’re passionate about this. i’ve seen how you treat others, you have so much kindness in your heart. you want to help others and that’s enough. a grade doesn’t define you or your future. i’m with you because you’re so much more than just a grade. i’m with you because i love you, i love your dreams, i’ve loved watching you work towards them, and i’ll be here to continue supporting you every step of the way.”

his words seem to get through to her and her tears start to dry, “do you really mean it?” her voice is just barely above a whisper.

“every single word, love. i love you more than i can put into words and i think everything about you is beautiful. your passion and spirit and the way you carry yourself. i'm the one who doesn't deserve you, i look up to you so much," he tells her, shifting to sit against the bed next to her.

she laughs, pushing at him playfully, “don’t start turning this around to criticize yourself. here, how about we make a deal: if i deserve you, then you deserve me.”

“deal,” he agrees, grabbing her hand to hold it between his, rubbing it gently, “as long as i get to be with you for the rest of my life.”

she sighs, looking up towards the ceiling, “if that’s what you want.”

“it is,” he tells her, turning her head gently to face him as he presses a kiss to her lips, “i want you more than anything else.”

[anzulvr]

hii could i please request a little hurt/comfort drabble where reader feels sad during christmas season but forces herself to at least pretend to be happy because karma’s birthday is on christmas day :( but karma notices how her smile doesn’t meet her eyes and stuff and asks reader about it!

Summary: You’re sad on Christmas, Karma x reader (except it’s his birthday.) hurt/comfort GN!reader HUGE SPOILER WARNING FOR ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM

(this is so cute I LOVE THIS REQUEST thank u! Had this in my drafts for a while but waited for Christmas to post)

It had been two years since everything ended. Two years since Korosensei died and all of End class were labeled as victims with some weird-Stockholm attachment to the monster who blew up the moon.

It was strange, seeing everyone care about you when you didn’t need it and remembering how low they thought of you when you were only the reject class of kunugigaoka.

A lot happened in two years, not a long time but considering how quickly everything was moving you hadn’t had time to catch up. Like any special day Christmas wasn’t a good time anymore- something your classmates agreed on. With the impact Korosensei had on your lives it was impossible to celebrate anything without wondering what would have been if you managed to save him. That was only wishful thinking, you couldn’t change the past.

Regardless, today you tried to keep a smile on your face. It was the most important time of the year, Karmas birthday- and Christmas too.

You stared at your poor attempt to decorate the cake you baked with Karma, the frosting written birthday note was almost illegible.

“What’s with the look, you’re writing isn’t that bad.”

You looked up after hearing Karmas voice as if you were pulled out of a trance.

“What look? I know it’s not that bad I was admiring our hard work.”

“More like my hard work, you kept dropping everything! Seriously though, what’s wrong? The whole day I’ve been catching you teary eyed.”

You turned your back to the counter to face him as you set the frosting bag down “I’m fine, today’s your day I’m not going to bother you with my problems. You should enjoy everything to its fullest.”

“I’m not going to enjoy anything if you’re not happy, ‘m not budging tell me why you’re upset.”

Karma was stubborn, you knew him well enough to realized this wasn’t negotiable.

“I don’t know… I was just thinking about how Korosensei can’t spend Christmas with us, and he can’t be here for your birthday. Ever since we killed him, Ive felt so helpless? Like we never did enough.”

He nodded slowly breaking eye contact for a second, “my parents haven’t answered my call today, they’re in Italy right now, all I got was a text saying they were busy and that they’d talk later. I know they haven’t forgotten, it’s kind of impossible when it’s Christmas but still- I hoped they would have time for me today, I know they have more important things to do but It made me think about how Korosensei would’ve been here.”

you nodded in response, “They could still call the days not over… and if they don’t they’ll try to make it up to you…” You could bet they wouldn’t call until the next day but you wanted to reassure him, there wasn’t a lot you could say in this situation that would make him feel better.

“It’s fine, you’re here- and you’re the best company, I had fun today. I just meant Korosensei has done a lot for us he’s proud we pulled that off, he wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up over it.”

“I know you’re right, still I wish I could’ve done more, we should’ve tried harder to save him.”

“We did what we had to. I miss him too, there’s a lot of things I could never repay Korosensei for—”

“Like getting you through senioritis? Or always bringing money in his wallet even though he knew you’d steal it?”

“I meant setting us up together, but sure those were good too.” Karma smiles breaking tenseness of the conversation for moment, “at the time I thought he was being a hassle but without him im not sure id have you right now.”

Suddenly you felt shy laughing it off and covering your face for a moment while you composed yourself, “Yeah he did push for us a lot but I was obsessed with you far before we even ended up in 3-E so you would’ve had me regardless.”

“Yeah? Tell me more.”

“No way in hell, I don’t trust you to not make fun of me. Anyways I didn’t mean to bring up something depressing, we should be smearing cake all over your face right now.”

“Try all you want but it isn’t possible to mess up my face.”

“Wanna bet?” You shake the smile off your face.

“See that’s more I like it, we can enjoy our ugly cake now. And more importantly you can open your gift.”

“What do you mean my gift? It’s your birthday you’re not supposed to buy me stuff!”

“It’s also Christmas … I couldn’t help myself I really wanted to get you something.”

“But now I’m worried my gift won’t live up to yours!”

“[Name] you could give me rocks for all I care and I’d keep them in a safe with multiple locks.”

You gently shoved his shoulder suppressing your laughter, you leaned in to kiss him.

It was impossible to not feel better with him around. This morning you had woken up wishing time could stop for a moment and you ended the day hoping for the same thing but for a completely different reason.

[lipringlrh]

daylight | mm7

summary: both you and mason are trying to tell each other how you feel but it doesn’t take long to realise there’s not enough words. lightly based on ‘daylight’ by taylor swift.

pairing: mason mount x fem!reader

an: i have a lot of fics in the drafts and please id love some feedback on this and any other fics, requests are also open for all :)

word count: 800

warnings: none i don’t think

feedback appreciated + requests open!!

…

"You're insane. Like how are you real?" Mason questioned, mumbling over his words. His thumb was running across your cheek, holding your head up just close enough to his to feel his breath but nowhere near as close as you wanted to be.

You couldn't speak, instead, you chose to focus on him, taking in as much of him as you could. You could feel his hand running along your leg and keeping you close. You were curled up next to him, almost on top of him but not quite.

"Genuinely, think m'obsessed with you, sweetheart," he whispered straight into your eyes, "want to spend every moment ever with you, never want to let go."

"Yeah?" you breathed, completely flustered by his words and actions.

"Course, baby. I didn't want to look at anything else ever after seeing you and I would spend eternity with you now, just led here. I think I'd die happily and willingly in your arms, there's no better place to be."

You tucked your head into his neck, forcing your body closer to his. His arms wrapped around you instantly, holding you even closer.

"What? Are you too flustered now to let me see your pretty face?" he teased, stroking a hand over your head.

You just whined back, pushing yourself further into him. He shuffled around on the bed, beginning to lie down more comfortably and angling you onto his chest.

You led there together for a while, neither of you saying anything, just being comfortable in the silence. His lips rested on your forehead, occasionally pressing a tender kiss here and there, finding comfort in any part of you that was touching.

"I think you've changed my perspective on love completely, you know." You admitted whilst spinning over, now facing him again, your chest on top of his.

He wrapped his arms around you subconsciously, humming in response, waiting for you to carry on.

"I didn't think I could ever find true, unconditional love, maybe that it didn't exist or no one would love me like that, but I have you now. I think you're my daylight," you explained, looking at his chest instead of at him.

"Daylight, hmm?" He asked, slightly confused. He reached for your face again, making you look at him as you explained.

"Daylight, yeah. Light after darkness, type of thing- it's embarrassing. You've just- you're my light, my happiness if you will, and you've saved me from all the bad things, the darkness, and you're always here for me and I- I can't explain it, I can't explain truly how I feel about you, there's not enough time or words, but yeah. Daylight," you rambled, trying to turn away but being moved back by Mason's hand.

He couldn't think of an answer, not one that could do the way he was feeling justice. All he could do was pull you closer and kiss you, touching his lips to yours and pressing himself as close as he could get to you.

All the love he amounted for you sat inside him, tingling inside his stomach, clenching his lungs together, making him feel warm all over. His heart was racing, desperate to keep the moment going forever.

He was grinning so hard into your mouth he couldn't feel his cheeks; he was too giddy, too dopey to care if the kiss wasn't the most outstanding kiss that you ever had. The fact that he got to kiss you and share a moment with you was enough.

He paused his actions after a long while but still let his lips linger on yours for a moment. He kept a hand on the back of your head, making you stay close to him, he couldn't let you go - he wouldn't.

His head rested on yours and you could feel him trying to catch his breath, only so he could kiss you more. You were both left slightly disorientated, way too dazed and in awe of each other to focus.

"I love you," he promised, still trying to catch his breath, his chest moving quickly up and down under you, "S'unfair I can't tell you just how much but it's more than you could ever even think of, sweetheart."

You laughed lightly, gripping onto him and holding him as close to you as you could. "I love you so much more, Mase."

He shook his head lightly, completely disregarding your statement. "Nope. Just shut up and kiss me, pretty girl,"

———

[n-evermores]

The Darkest Hour is Just Before the Dawn

Pairing: Alden Parker x f!reader (Hurt/Comfort)

Summary: Parker saves the reader from a serial killer.

Word Count: 2700+

Warnings: kidnapping, sexual content implied

A/N: Another fic that's been hidden away in my drafts for about a year now.

◇─◇────◆─◈─◆────◇─◇

You stifled a yawn, your somber gaze staring out into the rainy night. You haven’t slept a wink since the night before, but you weren’t alone in your misery. Parker appeared just as exhausted as you, just as ready for the case to end. You were on watch right now, sitting in an old parking lot, waiting for your suspect. You haven’t said a word to each other since your arrival. You both usually found solace in talking with each other, yet today was different. The silence was calming and the way he held your hand between your seats said more than words ever could. 

The sound of rain against the roof threatened to lull you to sleep, but luckily Parker’s thumb continuously brushing over your knuckles kept you in the present. A sigh escaped your lips and you squeezed his hand a little tighter. The sudden gesture must have pulled him from his trance because he looked at you, his eyes sparkling curiously. You offered him the faintest of smiles, wishing you were back in his apartment, safely tucked under the covers with his arms around you. 

“You okay?” He asked, his voice finally breaking through the silence and rain. He was speaking quietly, yet it felt so loud considering how comfortable the quiet had become. 

“Yep.” You responded and he pulled your hand into his lap, keeping it tucked close to him. “I just hate serial killers.” 

“Don’t we all?” He agreed. It was the same M.O. —women around your age, your height, hair, color and eye color. It worried Parker. Every girl they found looked eerily similar to you. Just the idea made his blood boil. This time it was Parker to squeeze your hand a little tighter. “Don’t worry, we’ll get him.” He assured you, but you had a feeling he was talking more to himself than to you. 

Parker was more worried than you were. He made you sleep at his apartment every night and never took his eyes off you. You received multiple cryptic letters in the mail from your suspect. Weird, creepy letters that made your skin crawl. Vance nearly took you off the case, but you wanted to see it through. You weren't afraid of him. You wouldn’t give him that power.

“Parker look–” You jutted your chin toward the building, watching as your suspect left holding a small carrier bag.

“That’s him. Let’s go.” He opened his door, stepping out into the rain and you followed suit. You stepped into the flooded parking lot, the water reaching just below your ankles. It was the third day of rain, and the water was starting to rise. You trekked through it with Parker by your side, both of you moving as swiftly as possible before your suspect had a chance to escape.

“NCIS!” Parker announced, holding out his weapon and you mirrored his actions.

“Drop the bag and turn around.” You said and your killer turned slowly. His eyes fell on you—pale and cold. He smiled and you felt chills sift down your spine. His smile was like a cold sharp blade, slowly scraping across your skin until blood was drawn. Your throat bobbed at the imagery of his victims and how that could easily be your fate. 

“Hello, Agent L/N.” The man said slowly, his eyes beaming in your direction. “What a lovely surprise. Here I thought I would have to come to you, yet you’re here.” His eyes then averted to Parker. “Thank you for delivering her to me. I didn’t think you were so fond of me, Agent Parker.” 

“Shut your mouth.” Parker said suddenly. You could see the anger building up inside of him. The look on his face was terrifying. His green eyes were filled with a barely contained rage and his hands were trembling over his weapon. 

The suspect just laughed, “It would seem I struck a nerve.” His eyes crossed over to yours, “See you in a moment, doll.” He said before fleeing inside with the bag. 

“I’ll go in. You go around..” Parker said, before running in after him. You took off around the building hoping to catch him from the back. You tried to focus on anything but the slippery pavement. You could see movement ahead of you and you slowed your pace, looking around desperately. You squinted through the glaring street lights and blinding rain. You saw movement again and you inched forward, holding your weapon tightly as you rounded the corner. Your heart hammered inside your chest and you couldn’t deny you were afraid. You knew risks came with the job, but this felt different. You were at a disadvantage and there was nothing but shadows around you, tricking you every which way you turned.

Just when you were starting to focus on your surroundings, something pinched your thigh. 

Instantly, your body felt heavy and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion around you. “What the hell?” You took deep breaths, breathing through your nose as waves of dizziness swayed your steps. Reaching down your leg you could feel something small sticking inside your thigh. You yanked it out, ignoring the pain shooting through your leg. Just when you realized what was sitting in your palm, your knees buckled beneath you. Someone caught you before you hit the pavement and pulled you into their arms. You could hear a muffled voice, faint, but terrifying and then everything went dark. 

-

“Y/N. It’s okay. You’re okay.” You could feel someone’s hand brushing stray hairs from your face. Their warm skin soothing against your cool cheek. Your head was throbbing and you could barely hear their voice. It sounded familiar and safe. The last thing you remembered was passing out on the street, but as things started to become clear around you, you could hear the rain from a distance so you could only assume you were indoors now.

“Parker?” You called out, as tears started to build up in the corner of your eyes. All you could think was you were near death. You remembered pulling a tranquilizer dart from your leg and now you felt restraints around your wrists digging into your skin. The killer had you. He was going to kill you and there was nothing you could do about it. And now you were hallucinating about the one person that felt like home to you. 

“I’m right here.” You could feel the bindings around your wrists loosen and your eyes fluttered open. The man above you was blurry, but you recognized him immediately. The silver hair, the shape of his face, and the green in his eyes. It was the first thing you noticed when your vision finally cleared.

“You’re okay.” He cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs wiping your tears gently as he pressed his forehead against yours. “ You’re safe now.” He murmured, his nose lightly brushing yours as if he was going to kiss you, but he didn’t. He just rested against you, eyes closed and basking in your presence, and in the fact that you were alive. 

“What happened?” You asked weakly, reaching up to hold his shoulders. 

“When I couldn’t find you, I set out looking. He didn’t get far with you, but judging by–” He swallowed, “your bindings, he had plans. But I got him. He’s gone now.”

“You killed him?” You asked and he gave a small nod, barely noticeable but you knew the answer.

“He tried to kill you, so I killed him first.” He said and you gave a small smile. 

“Help me sit up.” You said just as he reached behind you, pulling you into his arms. You rested your head on his shoulder and exhaled deeply. “I’m so dizzy.”

“Hopefully that wears off. The team is on the way, including Palmer. He’s going to check you out and then I’m taking you home. You need to rest.” 

It didn’t take long for the team to walk through the door. That’s when you noticed the killer lying in a pool of his own blood with a few gunshot wounds to the chest and a large knife next to his hand. But what puzzled you the most was the blood lining the edge of the knife. 

“Why is there blood on his knife?” You asked, reaching up to touch your throat, not feeling anything other than the ache in your head and wrists. 

“It’s mine.” Parker scoffed, “believe it or not, I tried to do my job and reason with him.” He said and your eyes widened before you shifted in his arms. Your eyes began to rove over his neck, his chest and legs.

“Where?” You asked, your eyes frantically searching for any sign of injury. 

He lifted his arm and you saw a tear in his jacket and shirt with a line of blood stretching along his lower arm. You reached out for him, pulling his arm into your lap and examining it. It didn’t look deep, but it still worried you.

“It’s nothing. I can barely feel it.” He assured you, his eyes locking with yours. You felt your chest tightened and you reached up to touch his jaw, your fingers brushing over his beard lightly. Your fingers lingered there a moment before Jimmy and the others came rushing toward you. You dropped your hand from Parker’s face just as Nick and Tim helped you both to your feet. 

Jimmy gave you a thorough check up and bandaged Parker’s arm inside the ambulance just outside the building. The reports and everything else could wait until the morning. They took the body back to NCIS, made a statement, and now Parker was taking you home. 

He held your hand over the console again, his thumbs brushing your knuckles just as before. He didn’t say anything to you, but you could tell he was deep in thought. He didn’t really tell you what he saw. He said the killer didn’t do anything, but he was preparing for you to wake up. You could only imagine what would have happened if Parker didn’t find you in time. You took a deep breath, feeling better, lighter now that he was gone. 

“I suppose I can go home now.” You said.

“Mhm. I guess so.” Parker responded and his grip on your hand tightened.

 You couldn’t help but smile. “But I think I’ll stay with you one more night. I’d rather not be alone right now.”

He didn’t say anything more. But you could visibly see the relief on his face at your words. You and Parker had this unspoken relationship since you started staying with him. He was only as affectionate as you allowed, never crossing over your boundaries, yet you couldn’t lie and say it was platonic. Sleeping tangled with him every night, holding hands the way you were now, and lingering hugs so tight that you could feel his entire body pressed against yours wasn’t exactly platonic. 

You both had feelings, but you tried to keep things professional regardless. After your first night inside his apartment, those lines became blurred rather quickly.

You felt a wave of relief the moment you saw the familiar apartment complex ahead of you. You liked your own apartment, but something about Parker’s apartment transported you to another world. It was an oasis, a place where you felt as if nothing else mattered and time seemed to slow down, giving you room to breathe. 

“We’re going to get your apartment all wet.” You said as Parker unlocked the door, allowing you inside first.

“Don't worry about that.” He assured you as he walked in behind you. You removed your damp coat, watching Parker remove his as well. You couldn't believe you were safe and with Parker. Suddenly it hit you all at once and you broke down. The moment Parker noticed your tears he reeled you into his arms. His shirt was wet, but yours was just as damp against your skin. You buried your face in his neck, clinging to him like a lifeline. He held the back of your head, rocking you back and forth in his arms as sobs wracked your body. 

“It's okay. I've got you.” He murmured into your hair. With every stroke of his hands, you felt calmer and you slowly pulled back to catch his gaze. 

His gaze felt like fire, burning you from the inside out. Your body felt flushed. Hot. As a familiar ache panged inside your chest. The chill from your wet clothes dissipated entirely and your breath shook with anticipation. “Alden.” You whispered. You were surprised by the desperate way you said his name. You were begging him for something more, something you've both been longing for but too afraid to take. 

His mouth was only a breath from yours. You could feel his breath fan against your lips. His eyes searched yours as his fingers traced the contour of your cheek. Suddenly his hands seized your face and his mouth was covering yours. 

You moaned into his mouth. It wasn't inherently sexual. It was more than that. It was the inclination of a fantasy becoming a reality. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling yourself closer. His kisses slowed, becoming smaller and languid.

Your eyes said all he needed to know because he peeled your clothing from your body. It was a slow process, almost clumsy as his shaky hands fought with wet material hellbent on clinging to your skin he so desperately wanted to touch. 

After you were unclothed before him, his clothes ended up with yours in a heap on the floor. His hands touched you. Fingertips tracing every curve, tracing every line as if you were a work of art to be studied. He pulled you close, his lips lingering against your pulse. 

He lifted you, your legs framed his hips and he carried you to his room. Your back fell into the soft blankets before you felt the warmth of his body covering yours. His mouth reconnected with yours in a searing kiss. It almost felt surreal, but it was happening. Your heart ached with every touch, as if your mind refused to process it wasn't a dream. 

He pulled back enough to look into your eyes. He searched them, trying to find any inclination of doubt within your gaze. You brushed your fingers through his hair, your eyes gentling and he took your desperate touches as a sign of assent.

With every stroke, every kiss, every simultaneous movement of your bodies, it was like gold, like stars being born, galaxies swimming above in colors you could taste and feel. It was a trip so euphoric you half wondered if you were still drugged. You didn't need to speak, just the sound of rain hitting the roof, your shared breathing and soft moans were enough. 

You took a deep breath, your chest rising and falling in time with your rapidly beating heart. You felt Parker's hand slide around your waist and you turned to face him, your nose only an inch from his. His chest heaved, his breath shaky after your vigorous lovemaking. His lips curled upward, his smile reflecting in his eyes. The shades of grey-green seemed to sparkle, and the creases around his eyes were a telling sign of just how content he was. You released an easy sigh, reaching out to touch his face. You traced every fine line, every curve of his face and he closed his eyes at your delicate touch. 

 He gripped the back of your neck and pulled your face closer until your foreheads were touching. His nose brushed across yours along with the feather-light touch of his lips.

“I'm sorry. I should have protected you.” He murmured against your mouth. 

You tenderly ran your fingers through his hair, “I never asked that of you. It's not your job.”

“It is. I was supposed to have your six.” 

The little crack in his voice didn't go unnoticed. The pain and shame he was feeling made your heart drop, “You saved my life, Alden.” You whispered. “Now enough of that and kiss me.”

As if it was forgotten he smiled, pressing his lips tenderly against yours. The rain continued to pour furiously against the roof and you moved your mouth to his neck, placing openmouthed kisses against his skin. His beard tickled your face, and you inhaled his scent. It was woodsy mingled with the evening rain. You allowed your lips to linger against his throat, earning a soft hum in response. He gripped your thigh, pulling your leg over his hip and you couldn't help but sink into his love all over again. 

[juniperpyre]

I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying to be hateful towards you. I don’t think it’s fair to blame James for his and Lily’s death: whole victim blaming isn’t right. Voldemort was winning the war and the walls were closing in. Peter wasn’t just some friend - and it wasn’t only Peter that James was trusting. Lily and Sirius agree to Peter. Sirius was the one who came up with the plan. I feel like that goes beyond James and his moral views. His brother and wife also agree to Peter, wouldn’t that greatly impact James’s opinion? Yes, Remus, years after and harden by grief, thinks James was too blind, but again, Peter is wasn’t just some person - he had earned their trust, kept their secrets, and fought alongside them. I understand James had his flaws and I’m not denying them, but it wasn’t arrogance or black and white thinking that brought James down - love did. He loved Sirius and Peter.

this is about this post.

hi okay, i don't take this as hate lol, i am a bit frustrated bc i almost put a qualifier like "(of course their deaths are the fascists' fault)" but it felt unnecessary.

the idea of james' trust being a reason his family dies is thematically interesting to me. dumbledore's fatal flaw (fatal for a bunch of people, not just him) is not trusting people. he thinks lily and james trusted the wrong person. and they did.

but if just a few more people had known about the plan sirius never would have gone to azkaban. maybe peter would've been too afraid to go through with turning them over to voldy. so there's a narrative tension between trusting too much and not trusting enough. dumbledore is egotistical and should have created a more cooperative resistance rather than being the ultimate head.

i very much reject the idea that love brought james and lily down. again, this is bc it weakens the narrative. i really stand by:

his high self-regard and his loyalty meant he couldn't fathom someone he considered a best friend betraying him. if he sees someone as good, they must be good. he'd never been wrong before!

i have a lot to say about james potter and black & white thinking that's in drafts, so that's for another time.

the responsibility for james, lily, and harry's deaths falls on voldemort, peter, and arguably dumbledore. jily shouldn't have been having to make choices to save themselves from being murdered!!! however, that doesn't mean james and lily's choices had no impact.

giving james flaws that are normal, human flaws and relating them to his canon positive traits (trust & loyalty) and then seeing how the mix of those traits contributes to his and lily's death is interesting. it is complex and tragic, because no one is perfect, and that shouldn't be a death sentence.

i hc that james struggled a lot with how to be a husband and father since (in my hc) his dad died before he and lily married. i imagine that, as a man in the 70s, he feels like it's his job to protect his family (he doesn't think lily is weaker but damn these gender roles have hands) and not being able to do so bc his wife is in a group that is being genocided and they're both fighting a war eats him up

so i do imagine him making the call. he knows peter better than lily does, and sirius obviously doesn't get final say. so james makes the call that results in their deaths, and sirius comes up with the idea that results in their deaths, and lily is passive and allows these "wrong" choices.

this isn't a fair way of putting it, but it's how each character sees themselves. this isn't a real-world cause and effect, it's exploring themes present in the og books thru character analysis and hc

i talk fairly often about the DE being fascists so honestly i don't think i need to qualify my posts with "of course the DE are the villains and the order are just trying their damnedest"

[kirbybecomesastarwarrior]

🫀and ♟️?

Questions from here:

Fair warning: Lots of Lore dumping is about to take place /A long read... (but for those of you who want a quick read, you can just skim to the picture/image sections which will give a quick summary of what is being explained.) Have a great day!~

Lady Celestine was actually never supposed to be Merlyn... She was originally going to be the "Lady of the Lake... Nimue"

If you see in the earlier drafts I tried to hang on to the whole blacksmith idea/ and the creator of the scared items but then I just changed it to alchemist cause it was just I solidified her role as Merlyn~

She was going to be the soul inside the Galaxia, but she lost all her memories because she was the first to rebel against the ancients and withheld her creations as an act of protest towards them and the other Heroes of Yore... And was punished as a result, but before she was permanently sealed she performed her last act of defiance and scattered them about the galaxy.

(Via. Galaxia imprisonment )

While Sir Uther & Sir Icarus were supposed to fill the bigger roles of how the galaxy became a wasteland, she was written to be the only truly "Good hero of Yore."

Lady Celestine as Lady of the Lake:

I couldn't grasp what to do with her... She definitely had a more stern personality to fit Galaxia, but I just couldn't get on board with her character. The best way to say it is I think I made her "too perfect" (or the girl bossed her too much... I was reading Remarried Empress at the time, so basically, she had Navier's personality.)

Seemly cold & calculating but has a heart of gold underneath is all merely misunderstood. Very nonsense struggles with connecting Normally methodical and is always composed but has a sarcastic tic to her if you rile her up enough...

She was still an owl lady, but it was a reference to the Athena Goddess of Wisdom in Greek Mythology. (Owls often being associated with her and being her symbolic creature.)

I much as I loved the arctype (Navier's personality.)I wasn't in love with her character...

She had nothing really attaching me to her... it just felt like she was there to fill a slot as another hero of Yore she had nothing endearing about her... I didn't know what to do with her...But I didn't want to throw her away (I loved her design & color scheme).

That is until I ran into another problem...

For those who don't know in the original draft, Srir Arthur was supposed to be the villain in the series. (or the surprise villain so to speak~) However, once the rewrite happened and created Sir Uther in the au...all his evil went into him.

Especially once I changed his relationship with Meta Knight as his father figure and became the one who saved him from Sir Uther. But despite all my mind just kept seeing that man as a villain~

But then it occurred while creating this post (Link here ) ... Wait a second (*me taking a long good look, at Sir Arthur in the narrative*) WHY ARE YOU GOOD? I needed a reason why Arthur was good in the KBASW.

I wrote him too naturally accepting he just seemed too suspicious... plus... And besides with such a corrupt system in the GSA (the one created by the Ancients & Uther), how could one good egg exist...

So in a very "Meta" way (pun intended), not only was I trying to find a motivation for him to be good that convincing in the narrative... I was also trying to convince myself...

Perhaps if it was another character, it'd be enough, but... The Sir Arthur from the first draft kept creeping in my mind... (it's so hard to let go of your first ideas...)

Then the answer came to me... who (in Arthurian) was Arthur's mentor and confidant, and his compass in guiding him to become king...Merlin. I had a Sir Uther... why not have a Merlin! (Plus, in the show Merlin 2008: Arthur started out as a little jerk ward and only became a better person through Merlin's influence!)

Wait a moment... don't I have a character design on the back burner.

So, I fully committed to changing her role as the Merlyn of the KBASW... I was able to get a better feel for who she was in the story. This resulted in the current design & personality she has now...

Basically, I pulled both the Disney & TV versions and took my favorite aspect of both of them which resulted in the vigilante persona of "Merlyn" was actually a nod to the TV series Merlin's old man persona Dragoon...I did want to make a few changes to really make her more than just a counterpart to Merlin. (I think that's why I got so stuck on her the first time when she originally was the Lady of the Lake...)

So her future vision would always be the main part of her character. Though I made it the reason why she was such an empathic person. Not only seeing the future, but she can feel it too:~

To go along with the whole guide theme, I made it a part of her title as a Hero of Yore~. Celestine, the "Navigator of the Constellation." The four-pointed Star Crystal refers to the "North Star," the closest star to the celestial pole, the main compassing star to signal north... it was used to guide people home~. (The moral compass)

Due to her ability, she gets overly involved in situations and emotions. Since she has all these terrible visions, she feels responsible for them. Which results in her being overly critical of herself when things go wrong and lacking self-care. Despite hating her abilities, she is overly reliant on them...

Overall she's a smart, witty, scatterbrained, down-to-earth, well-meaning goofball with a sassy edge...

I was finally able to give Celestine the soul that she needed. And how did they become a couple, you may ask? When writing her her story was so entirely laced with Arthur (because of Arthurian legend) that their chemistry was undeniable...(Also I shipped Merthur in the TV series, so once I saw an opening I took it)

And she since was supposed to be Arthur's person. I used complementary colors to connect the both of them together. Adding orange & gold to her blues & yellow...

And so with that all said Sir Arthur became

The First Redeemed Villian of KBASW~

Redeeming the former baddies so they can use their skills and talents for the forces of good through kindness (Kirby). Celestine is basically the first one to do so... This did so much for the plot.

Sir Arthur: If someone like me could be given a chance and be changed for the better... Then so can this lot (Referening to Star Allies)

Arthur can naturally, relate to Kirby's menagerie of former villains who wanted to improve and be reformed. It fixed the problem of his niceness/goodness coming off as disingenuous (when I first was writing). There's a motive and reason behind them... Celestine. She showed Sir Arthur that there was a better way, a smarter way, a kinder way... It's her influence & example that inspired him to be a better man... a good man.

That's how Arthur gained the empathy & courage to stand up to Sir Uther and injustice when he was about to execute baby MK. It also enriches Meta's relationship with Sir Arthur... The man was barely holding on, and Meta gave him a reason to live.

Due to the Ancient cursing & erasing Celestine from existence, she was, he could not even speak her name. But Arthur was able to walk around this by speaking about that funny whimsical rouge that he was never able to catch "Merlyn." The stories always made Meta laugh; however, he could never understand why Sir Arthur would speak of this failure so fondly.

He deeply blames himself for not being able Celestine. Everything that happened to her was out of his control... This is why Arthur wants to create a better world, a place where Meta & Celestine would've been accepted.

Not only that, but he has this fear of being alone left. This is why he made the safest route for Meta Knight (to be one of the holy knights to keep him safe...), but wasn't the right path for him which (Leads to "Birth of Lone Swordsman...") and misunderstands. This makes it all the more heartbreaking to Arthur that Meta Knight thinks he doesn't truly love & care for all of him... when he does </3.

(Don't worry) He learns his lesson, and they make up (early on during Falsapr getting punished for the Fisher King incident, spontaneously meeting up when they're both saving Falspar...) It wasn't a proper talk and it was mostly Arthur and Meta apologizing because they missed each other.

MK only understands Sir Arthur after the war (& the Knightmare's End Saga). And goes to apologize to him again during the Kirby & Crystal Shard (I need a reason why the Meta wasn't there during the game... perfect excuse...)

Also presents a reason why Sir Arthur allows Meta Knight & Kirby to stay in Dreamland. "You deserve a chance to find yourself after this war... that man (Uther) can no longer have a hold on us... You have nothing to prove, you're free now... but if you need anything I will always be here waiting, just visit when you can okay?"

He learns his lesson, too, allowing him to leave & stay as he pleases... and the door was always open for him & Kirby the gang!~

(and someone gets rather jealous of this bias.... *cough* Dragato)

And of course, they do visit often (the plot demands it)... This leads MK to re-establish closeness with his mentor (learning from his own time with Kirby). Sir Arthur was trying his best too & he isn't perfect... he's not invincible... Wait what's happening to him...Why is he moving slower... His protector who seemed so unshakable...his father-... Is he getting weaker?

The early reconciliation is to make way for the true conflict: Meta realizes that his father figure is growing older & weaker. But why (*cough* Trip to Underworld *cough *the deal *)... like I said the man did not leave for free, a price had to be paid... (Did I have these two rekindle their wholesome father-son relationship only to have something tragic happen to the father... yes!)

There's such an emotional reason why Meta Knight has to become the leader of GSA. He's not only continuing Arthur's legacy but also Celestine's legacy. With the way Arthur raised him, he was able to instill the beliefs of her as Merlyn... And I also:

In the Kirby game series, Meta Knight always offers a sword to Kirby. It comes into play with Arthur's story. This act was done with Arthur & Celestine, however, not for the sake of due... for a very different reason... And this action & courtesy is passed down. (There's a hidden special meaning behind it... SWORD & THE STONE REFERENCE)

And so, making Celestine Merlyn was the best decision I ever made!

Celarthur/Merthur

Really, I wanted to engineer a love story that complemented the series as a whole... I was able to write Arthur as a fuller character as well as give an emotional core to him. And Celestine became a fleshed-out three-dimensional character and found his place in the narrative.

I KID YOU NOT THESE TWO SAVED EACH OTHER'S CHARACTER WITHIN AND OUT OF THE STORY! I LOVE THESE GOOBERS WITH ALL MY HEART!

@kirbyoctournament

Fun Fact:

Guys I kid you not she was so close to being named "Celestia..."But then I kept associating the name with My Little Pony~ (hardcore Brony back in the day) So she became Celestine...

~

@ceoofmetagala I got so excited when I got your ask (♟️it was the question I really wanted to get), and the fact that you were the one who asked made me so happy... I JUST HAD TO GO ALL OUT ON THIS POST~ And then I think I got carried away and ended up making it too long!~

I know you wanted this was just a questions 🫀 &♟️ on them:

♟️: When did you make your oc?

But it ended up being snowballed into the trial & error of creating Celty and how she wound up as the final version of herself.

🫀 : is there anything your oc and canon characters don’t like about each other?

I promise I'll get into this 🫀 A lot of people asked this. I'll get to the one soon... I wanted to do something extra special for this one... comic maybe~ (this was the one where I hinted jokingly that everyone wanted Arthur to get the couch~)

I hope this is enough & that you like it!

[alwaysyouuuuuu]

Wolfstar Marvel AU

Folks.

Consider, consider, consider.

1940s.

Sirius as Steve Rogers and Remus as Bucky Barnes. And I mean it in a very, very vague sense.

So starting off like the comics-ish. So, Sirius is drafted a year before Remus is. (he wasn't allowed to, at first, because his family is practically HYDRA royalty, bffs with Voldemort (=Schmidt) and they kept tabs on him. But then Dumbledore (= scientist Erskine) lets him in after hearing his convictions etc.) And he is good at the stuff, a good soldier, good morals.

Remus joins up the next year, and he is in intel (like the Space AU haha) or in the Defense force. They barely get to see each other sometimes but they love each other and persevere (Wondering about period typical attitudes)

Situations get tougher and it is decided (by Erskine=Dumbledore?) that Sirius gets to take the Serum because it enhances the qualities of a person, right? So it has to be a person with strong ethics, i.e., Sirius.

There they meet James (=Howard Stark) and Agent Evans (Peggy Carter) and they get on like a house of fire.

(I am still figuring out where Peter fits in. It's been a while since I watched the movies.)

Sirius becomes the public face of the war, and now they are being sent on longer Missions. They need someone who knows every crook of the enemy bases, so Remus is there too (besides he is ruthless in a fight, did I mention that? when he does, he fights to kill.)

They are a formidable team when they work in together, and at a point HYDRA notices how protective they are of each other. Captain America is ruining a lot of their plans plus together they are a nightmare to HYDRA. Voldemort (= Schmidt = Red Skull) is not going to come out in the open for a common leech and they do not have another super soldier to subdue Sirius (can you imagine voldemort giving the horcrux idea to his death eaters?). But they can break him, right?

So they capture Remus (why is that a common theme in anything i think of) (We could have the whole him being kidnapped and rescued and then he falls off a train thing here. But I would be here typing the whole day, so.)

Anyways. After intense searches involving James (= howard stark) and Lily (= agent carter), Remus is assumed dead. Sirius is catatonic. He becomes single minded. He doesn't know what is to happen of the War, what he does know, is that Voldemort needs to lose the Tesseract. They confront each other, Voldemort manhandles the tesseract, gets pulled into space and the plane is damaged. The plane can't be saved, and Sirius wouldn't have even if he could.

*falls into the Arctic* and James finds his body and the tesseract in the permafrost.

And NOW we have the best part.

When he wakes up after 70 (?) years, Moody (=Fury) offers him the SHIELD initiative. And he accepts, of course, because what else does he have? He is dedicated, devotes himself to missions tirelessly, doesn't dwell on how the world has changed, doesn't dwell on the past if he can help it.

And then Loki brings trouble, and Moody gets him to the *Potter Industries*. The first time Sirius sees Harry, he almost has a heart attack (they might have a bit of an issue working together, because c'mon the past is hitting Sirius on the head.)

Another person he meets is a 20 something year old Agent Elena Chernova. Brown hair, grey eyes. Calls herself the Black Widow, fights every fight like it is her last, and is incredibly private. Well, Sirius can respect that. He doesn't give it much thought and they get on very well. And it turns out they fight well together, too. So well, that he gets whiplash sometimes from back the way he and Remus worked. Nope, he doesn't dwell on it.

Later, they hang out together. Sometimes, they play soccer. Sometimes, they rant about SHIELD policies to each other. Sirius joins *that* group therapy club and she does too. Fast friends, and they grow to rely on each other.

A few years later, Elena collects data from a ship's computer, Moody discovers SHIELD has been compromised, and is shot by

... the Winter Soldier.

and they discover SHIELD has been compromised. They start to gather data with help from Neville (=Sam?) and during a car chase, the Winter Soldier's mask slips.

And surprise, surprise. It's Remus.

Sirius' world is shook to the core and he probably would be rooted to the spot except. Elena sees him too. Now Sirius understands why he is standing there letting himself get beaten bloody by the love of his life who he himself saw fall to death and then mourned 70 years ago. He has seen a ghost.

What he doesn't understand is why Elena is standing there frozen and looking like she has seen a ghost.

[laurentidal]

Ice Core Report ❄️ August 2024

Decided to do a little editorial check in at the end of each month. Most of you probably don't know that, while Lauren is my real first name, that my blog is actually named for a massive ice sheet that once lay over the place where I live (the Laurentide Ice Sheet). Thus, this is a report from my ice core.

#1 Story: Suggestion Box

This one was a huge surprise for me. It took off immediately, and I had not seen that coming. I'd had this image saved in my "had potential" folder for probably three weeks before I decided on how to tell the story. It went through an iteration where this was an ice skating rink, then it was a sandwich shop. I think one draft had a "five dollar footlong" joke in it. But ultimately I liked "arcade" the best.

#2 Story: Enjoy Your Stay

This was based on fun joking conversation I had with @hypno-potion and as the scaffolding we were joking about kept getting more elaborate I was like "No there is definitely something here." I'm glad you all agreed.

#3 Story: Kitty Pet Saga

I saw this picture and immediately knew what the story was going to be. Sometimes I see an image and think "There's something here if I look hard enough" and sometimes I see an image and a fully formed idea just jumps right out of it.

#4 Story: Oh My

This is a story I actually wrote quite some time ago for an old defunct website that never really got any foot traffic. I'm glad I brought it over, because it's one of my personal favorites. The only fauxcest story in the top five this month. That's one of those kinks I think I'm just going to have to accept that you guys aren't as into as I am (and I have the data to validate that claim).

#5 Story: Daughters and Suns

The only true repost from my old blog and the only part of a series in the top five this month. This series is my favorite thing I'm writing right now (though this entry isn't my favorite in the series). There's a lot more coming so I hope you're enjoying as much as I am.

Sunda Systems

We're half way through Season 1 of my Sunda Systems investigative mind control conspiracy story. Our investigator has made several contacts and visited the campus first-hand. She also might be starting to feel some effects from her various encounters, and her keen eye for detail is missing a few clues that are staring her right in the face. But I'm sure the date she's got lined up will give her some much needed relaxation.

Please please please share this story and feel free to get interactive with it! I've put some real effort into it and I've never written such a slow burn before. I'm enjoying the ride, and I've got some GOOD (I think) twists and turns coming. I think this format could be fun to play around with as an audience. Post your theories! I love seeing that folks are engaging with more than just the like button.

Update of Magics & Mesmerism

Some of you are aware that I'm working on an erotic mind control TTRPG called Magics & Mesmerism. I'm still plugging away. As we speak, I'm writing skills for the Innovator character class. As a treat, I'd like to share with you an except from the page on Hypnotic Foci:

General Thoughts

Every story in the top five this month is a FEMALE SUB story. Noted. I tend to favor that in my writing, too, which is interesting because I think Female Over Male stories are hotter, probably because of the subversion of expectations. I'm a slut for subversion of expectations.

I think that's everything. Love you all and I'm very excited for you to see what's coming in September. One of my favorites that I wrote comes out tomorrow, and on the 13th you'll be introduced to your first Force of Nature.

Till then, keep reading, keep messaging, keep asking, and if you're feeling generous, keep donating.

[ashistired37]

Yes the nap was refreshing. Let's talk about what I think is going on with Erin!

So. Spoilers for 2-2-32!

sorry most of this is based on speculation but that's the fun of this! If you disagree or think there's something I missed I will very gladly read through it! I love theories even if they aren't mine feel free to share yours <3

Okay so I literally wrote a draft of my theory the night before so I'll summarise it.

Basically I think what's going on with Erin- atleast subconsciously is tied to the backstory theory I cooked up.

I think his soul was either very prone to elemental corruption or the elements were just too much for him to control.

I think maybe using one element like we've mostly seen him do was alright but using it for too long would cause problems. So using them would usually lead to him being bedridden or sick in some way.

Because of this he probably felt powerless in a way. Sure he could use all the elements but he can't do anything meaningful with them without injuring himself (or others depending on how out of control his powers were before the magic tats/seals)

I mean obviously he felt helpless when it comes to helping Tess. He was a child what could he say to his father to get through to him? We don't know much about his parents but from what we know his father was definitely a douche. We know Erin and Tess seem to like/respect their mother and she was probably a Soul mage but that's about it

I think the line about holding him back just meant Tess would TRY to stop him from overworking himself which probably came before the seals. Maybe he kept trying to make his magic work despite knowing how much of a toll it takes or even after he got the tattoos he probably wanted to feel useful now that he could actually use his powers safely. He had to.

This is why I think he's a good person to parallel Kendal. They're both trying to justify their existence by doing.

Kendal with saving Vash.

And Erin by solving problems.

Is it fair to him to assume he can do all that? No. This whole thing really reminds me of the first episode of I think justice league?

I know it was a DC animated show- where in the first episode they assign superman to protect the whole world and when people protest saying he doesn't have enough hands for that he reassures them he will take care of it.

Erin's kinda like Superman in this case- oh wow I never thought I'd say that. But you understand why I draw the comparison. They're both insanely powerful and taking on way more than they can in these instances.

Now I know I mostly used 2-2-30 and 31 but I had to use them so we can get to the 32 stuff.

Him saying no one can help him and that it always comes back yo him to carry the weight because nobody can catch him if he falls as hubouris it sounds it's also. Really fucking sad.

I think he probably had a lot of instances where people expected him to fix things because of how much power he has (probably his father or even fellow students of The academy but that's just a guess) so he internalised it.

"But Atlas didn't you say he probably feels like this because he feels the need to justify his existence so he doesn't feel as helpless?" yes. Because I think it's both. Things mixed together to create the awful storm that is Erin mc hubris pants.

On another tragic note he's been one of the core members for so long. Since like chapter 4-5. This guy has fought with atleast Alinua and Kendal for AWHILE now. He knows they can help but the one thing they can't help him get rid of or solve?

The dragon.

He's right. He's absolutely right but that's only if you think about directly helping. By directly getting rid of it. If you think about helping him more indirectly so he can get the help he needs? They've been doing that since they met him!

Obviously he's not thinking completely rationally if he was more level headed he could probably acknowledge this but I NEEDED to mention this.

I might add to this sometime but I am exhausted I'll see you after ANOTHER nap

[mylovejimimi]

SNEAK PEEK | A MINIMONI STORY PT 1

— PAIRING: boyfriend!jimin x fem!reader x friend!namjoon x ??? — GENRE: smut +18. minors dni — WARNINGS: smut, dirty dirty talk (jimin's a menace), vaginal sex, oral sex (m receiving), not as much fluids as the last one lol but still fluids, riding, accidental vouyerism, talks of kinks, mentions of gang bang, jimin calls reader mean names, jimin and reader are in fluffy love, SOME plot — SUMMARY: It's your sweet, loving boyfriend's turn to plan your weekly date, and his sweet, homey plan comes with an exciting surprise in the form of a friend that he totally forgot was crashing at his place. — WORDS: almost 5k This one is like the holy scripture compared to the tae and jk one lmaooo but don't forget there's gonna be a part 2!!!!! promise to make it worse &lt;3don't be shy and tell me what you think about my works! also i lied and say i would post it last night but my first draft didn't save <3 i love technology <3333 please remember you can send me a tip by buying me a ko-fi if you like this stories, it will meant the world to me and it will help me ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ Enjoy !

Whenever your schedules coincide, you and Jimin always made sure to have a date. Today was no exception.

Having an idol boyfriend, it was never an easy task to find time to spend together. And to have quality time, on top of that; a moment when he wasn’t too tired or overworked, or even anxious, and could engage in conversations or activities with you as his stress-free, lovely self. You always understood and supported him because that was his passion after all – though it never got any easier to watch him be away in tours or stay in the city but be unreachable, busy every second of the day. Also, you worked too, a less glamourous job of course, but a lot of times you had to give up your free time for some extra-hours or documents to finish at home.

Luckily for you, the boys just wrapped up the promos for their latest comeback, which meant they were relatively free for a couple weeks. It was Jimin’s idea to have a date every week, as long as he wasn’t required to work 24/7, to make up for past or future time apart.

So, it was a late Friday night and both of you lazed around in Jimin's apartment. You two loved going out and about the city, doing whatever activity you could think of, but since it was your boyfriend’s turn to plan the date – and he had been feeling like a homebody lately – he decided to have a chill night with you, the love of his life. You cooked, laughed, drank, danced around a little to his songs and now you were drinking again, sitting on the mat in between the sofa and the coffee table, chatting while soft music played in the background.

“It was an awful fit to be ever seen wearing! Whoever told you it looked good was lying” you laughed out loud at your boyfriend’s frown, before downing what was left of a bottle of soju, one of the many that you and Jimin already drank. You had the capacity to hold gallons of alcohol if you wanted; Jimin often joked that was what made him fell in love with you.

“It was you who told me I looked hot! I sent you a mirror pic and you replied with fire emojis” Jimin accused you with an offended pout, pushing you playfully and, in your tipsy state, making you fall fully on the ground. You giggled.

“I surely wasn’t in my best moment. Must had been one of those weeks of forced celibacy you make me go through when you release music, and thirst possessed me.” Jimin rolled his eyes with a little smile.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. You get horny just like the rest of us, you’re not special.” You felt giddy and fuzzy inside because of both the alcohol and Jimin’s company. Goddamn, how you loved that man. Couldn’t help your big smile, heart in your eyes.

“Like the rest of you? You have no idea the depths and length of my horniness.” You started to draw random patterns on his thigh with your finger but kept staring adoringly into his eyes, always bold and teasing around him.  With a hint of a smirk, he arched an eyebrow at your words and actions.

“Oh my God, right now too? You’re a horndog!” Jimin laughed heartily, pushing you again. You laughed along joyously, feeling happier than you ever been. You were sure you would never love a person the way you loved Jimin.

“Can you blame me? My boyfriend is way too hot.” Despite the dying laughter, Jimin, always up for flirting, had a smug expression that could be only mean problems. Sitting side by side, you only needed to crane your necks a little to be inches away from each other’s face, which was so helpful to your playing. You smirked, whole body facing Jimin’s now and buzzing with alcohol and imprudent ideas. 

“Praising me for free? You’re totally too horny for your own good right now. But you’re right, I’m hot.” His smile got bigger and bigger the closer he got to you, stalking you slowly in the manner a predator about to attack his prey would. Soon enough, you could feel his breath caressing your lips: sweet with the fragrance of the flavored drinks, warm and intoxicating. Your eyes found his and in them you saw the glossy filter of alcohol mirroring yours, but the desire in his blown-out pupils was beyond comprehension.  Your boyfriend was a menace – for you more than for anybody else. “And my girlfriend is hot as hell as well.”

“I am.”

“And we’re both very drunk.” Your heart accelerated in a second, just feeling the heat that radiated from Jimin and his gaze on your lips. And you knew Jimin was no better, if the ragged breaths escaping his mouth was any giveaway. “And we’ve been apart from each other for so long already.”

Call it a signal from the universe or simply your guts instincts being one step ahead of you, but a ray of clarity downed upon you carrying a possibility that, while it turned you on a bit, wasn’t completely right. Before taking things further, you frowned slightly.

“Baby wait, we’re in the living room, what if Taehyung or Jungkook just drop by without notice? They know the code for the door.” Jimin just shrugged, giving no importance to the very real, very probable problem. You, on the other hand, were too aware of it, remembering all the times you were there and any of the boys – usually the maknaes – would just walk in. Your boyfriend did not back off though; he just tilted his head playfully.

“Why does it matter? Everybody had seen us before at some point, and, like, this is my home. Plus, we’ll hear the door if anybody comes in.” Finally, he moved just the littlest bit so his lips could move yours whenever he talked. Jimin stared intensely into your eyes, speaking in this sultry, seducing tone that was so unique to him. “It’s been so long, baby, and I need you so much right now. I can’t even think of anything but having you right this moment. We’d waited long enough, my love.” And he closed the distance with a fervent kiss. You were never strong enough to fight his kisses, much less when you wanted it as much as him.

It always amazed you just how synced up you and Jimin were; but, well, everybody said all the time how right you were for each other for a reason. He knew exactly how deep to kiss, how fast or how sweet, and, of course, how to touch all the magical parts of your body to make you go feral. And you knew all of him too – but the truth is that both of you shared a lot of likes in every aspect of life, including intimacy. So, you knew he liked as much tongue as possible and as desperately as one can make it. Also, he liked to be touched everywhere at all times, because his body tended to get so sensitive, so brittle to your hands when he was turned on. Jimin loved feeling adored, and you loved to adore him.

He settled his hands on your ass, pulling until you were straddling him. Not missing a single beat, Jimin moved his lips to your throat, making sure to bit and kiss the most sensible spots. You gasped and whined and said things that Jimin couldn’t hear well with all the blood rushing in his ears. Then, all of a sudden, you gripped his hair in a fist and tugged his head backwards, away from your neck, because you knew he loved to roughhouse too. Jimin could clearly see the arousal and drunkenness swimming in your eyes, and he knew he must look just the same, but it was okay because you had been together long enough to be very acquainted with the wildest part of each other. Now it was your turn to attack his neck, and Jimin couldn’t help but think how good you were at it, surely more skilled than him. He groaned and whined loudly as the kisses became sucking and light nibbling everywhere; it went from his neck to his jaw to his ear and all the way down again, always mindful to avoid leaving too noticeable marks on the flesh.

At some point, he began grinding his crotch into whatever part of your body it could grind into, becoming impatient and whiny, so you stopped and left his neck to grip his jaw and look into his eyes. Only then, both of you realized what a mess of red lipstick you were.

“Who’s domming?” You asked, panting. As an answer, Jimin whined more and pouted, making you giggle. “You pretty, spoiled pillow bitch. You will have to do all the dirty work on your own someday, you know.” And you got back to work.

Not much time passed between the teasing and the doing, both of you needing to satiate the constant thirst you had for the other. You two were so high on arousal and desperation, aided by the alcohol, that you skipped the step of taking the clothes off. Jimin lowered his sweatpants to his upper thigh to get his girthy cock and heavy balls out, and then lowered your camisole enough to get your breasts out too, because he was obsessed with them.

“Baby –” you breathed when you took a hold of his member and felt how hard he was. He thrusted mildly and unconsciously, groaning when you tightened your hold on him. The precum his tip was leaking started to cover your fingers once you started fisting him, and you couldn’t resist the temptation: you released his member to take your hand to your mouth and lick his fluids away, making a show of it all for your boyfriend, who groaned loudly.

Before taking your hand down again, you licked your palm, but this time, instead of his cock, you took both of the man’s balls, playing with and gripping them. Jimin threw his head back on the sofa, moaning in a high pitch and tightening his grip on your hips, surely imprinting his fingers on the skin. Once again, you took his cock and got up your knees before moving out of the way your skirt and underwear. You were so wet that your folds squelched when you separated them to descend on your boyfriend, impaling yourself on the meaty, delicious member of his. The stretch left you breathless for a moment, because Jimin was large enough to fill you up fully even if he wasn’t hard. To get you out of the discomfort, he captured your mouth in a sloppy kiss, guiding you to move slowly on him and taking the liberty of put his thumb on your clit. You moaned, and mere seconds later, you were bouncing on your own, increasing speed and clenching your insides sporadically. Your boyfriend, in return, pushed you back down when you bounced up until you both found the perfect rhythm.

You two were too immersed in your own world; too consumed by pleasure to hear the distinct sound of the door lock being unlocked and the footsteps that followed.

“You’re my bitch, got it? This ass is only mine to fuck,” Jimin exhaled close to your mouth, trying to keep his eyes focused on you moving face. You whimpered but nodded. “I will use you like the cockslut you are, whenever I want to and however I want to. And with whoever I want to.” He thrusted up with vigor, clearly liking the idea of sharing you. “Can you imagine it? To get fucked by me and then by any of my friends? Or all of them, because I know the greedy whore you are.” And he made you gasp out loud by biting your nipple and suctioning it. You panted open-mouthed now, forcing your eyes to stay open and watch how your boyfriend went from one nipple to the other, and then to insert his tongue shamelessly in your mouth.

You almost lost your mind at the way he licked filthily your wet insides, but the idea of being shared was pushing stronger. It was no secret to your boyfriend that one of your deepest fantasies was to be shared by several people, submitting to them, being at their mercy; and despite the natural jealousy that arose in Jimin at the beginning, he couldn’t get the idea out of his head for days. He thought about it so obsessively that he got desensitized to jealousy, and, at one moment, he found himself getting hard and needing to jerk off to the made-up image of you being used by multiple people. So, it became his fantasy too.

“You always wanted that, to get passed around like a pretty toy, cock after cock fucking this useless pussy.” Jimin chuckled with gritted teeth, getting more turn on by his own words. You whined loudly, just as loud as Jimin was talking – because he simply couldn’t regulate his voice while fucking –, which was pretty loud for anybody else in the room to hear. And there indeed was someone hearing and watching you from the entrance. Not like any of you realized though. “You know what else a filthy slut like you wants? To choke on cocks. To get your pretty face fucked rough. To have cum dripping from your mouth and still get your throat fucked over and over again. And I know you want to choke on my members’ cocks, don’t you? Get on your knees for the seven of us, suck dry the cocks of those friends that think you’re just my cute, little girlfriend; their pretty, dumb friend.” Jimin hissed with a particular tight squeeze, so close to release. He gripped your hair, tight, and pushed your face closer to his. “Who is the spoiled pillow bitch now?” And he kissed you, knowing both of you were mere moments away from the best orgasm of the year.

And then, a phone rang strepitously right there in the living room, some meters away from where you were. And you knew it was neither yours nor your boyfriend's.

Both you and Jimin jumped in your places, separating from each other's body once you saw a blushing and frantic Namjoon hurriedly looking for his phone in his pants. With one hand, Jimin hurried to help you fix your bra and top that were half off your body, while with the other hand, he tried to put himself inside his own pants as hastily. As if Namjoon hadn't been watching your passionate encounter for the last five minutes.

Your head? Empty, come back later. Your body? Burning with shame and, well... other things had arisen too.

“J-Joon” you started, still out of breath, but you had nothing else to say. You just stared at your friend, who arrived at the perfect time to see you being dommed.

By your peripherical vision, you saw your boyfriend getting red in the face, expression twisted into pure fury.

“Yah! You –“ And he stopped himself in his tracks, staying completely still for a second and then clearly his throat, his whole demeanor changing in an instant. It was completely weird for Jimin to stop himself from berating someone, being the most argumentative man ever as he was.

What the fuck is going on?

“S-sorry you had to watch us, Namjoon” he said calmly but still harsh. Overcoming quickly the initial surprise and change of behavior, Jimin showed his friend he definitely didn’t like the unconsented voyeurism.

Namjoon, on the other hand, was petrified in place, holding both of his friends’ stares. Mind completely blank, he couldn’t think of any excuse or justification, not even the very real reason he was there.

“It’s, uh, it’s okay. I didn’t see much.” He wanted to slap himself for saying that. It implied he had seen at least a little. “I just arrived, really didn’t see or hear anything. No big deal.” And then both you and Jimin saw it – the proof that Namjoon saw some and heard some and he even liked some. The bulging in the front of his sweats wasn’t that obvious but it definitively was there, where it wasn’t in everyday happenings. You both got visibly surprised, maybe a little aroused too, but said nothing. Instead, you two, in all your lipstick-messed glory, stared Namjoon in the eye with some sort of dignity.

“I would have appreciated it if you hadn’t seen anything or said something or go somewhere else.” Jimin was always borderline aggressive when he thought something was inappropriate; and, though you didn’t always agree with this approach, you stood by him on this one because he was right.

“But I told you we shouldn’t do this here in the open,” you whispered, a little ashamed. Namjoon blinked, speechless.

“I-I…” He swallowed and inhaled deeply. “You’re right, I’m sorry I watched you and I’m sorry I interrupted too.” He said all of that sporting the brightest color of red ever seen in someone’s face. “I forgot both of you would be here and that you both do these things. I should have called before coming, sorry.” Jimin was totally satisfied with that reaction but you were not. You felt bad that Namjoon was putting all the blame on himself when you had a feeling something like this could happen and did nothing.

“It’s okay, Joon. Just… don’t watch us without asking ever again.” Though it did feel a little hot. Being caught was one of the many fantasies you and Jimin shared, and you knew that Jimin felt as aroused and excited as you. But he was sterner than you and so, he was the one that put the ruthless mask on and delimited the boundaries to all the people outside your relationship.

“Ask you?” Namjoon asked in utter disbelief, like he was hearing the craziest nonsense ever. He could ask? He could watch? You and Jimin looked at each other. Of course he could watch. Any of them could watch, if they wanted. You both discussed it a million times; if any of Bangtan, six of them being single and unlucky, approached the couple seriously, they had no reason to tell them no. You trusted them a lot, and it wouldn’t necessarily ruin the friendship; not if they didn’t make it weird.

“Well, if you want to do something that involves other people, you usually ask if they’re OK with it.” And yet Namjoon couldn’t believe what his group member was saying. He felt weird. So weird that his nervous system was firing all alarms. His heart started beating faster than when he came home to the image of two of his friends doing each other. He felt so overwhelmed suddenly.

“Okay,” he said, before spinning on his heels and almost running to Jimin’s spare room. You were confused. Why did Namjoon go to that room instead of getting out of the house?

“This damn dumb bitch interrupted us in the best moment.,” Jimin grumbled, upset.

“Babe, why is Namjoon here?” you inquired harshly, crossing your arms. Jimin pursed his lips and looked at you with his big, puppy eyes. You didn’t buy it. “Jimin, were you the one that made Namjoon come tonight?” Your boyfriend sighed dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, baby, but – Wait, wait! I didn’t ask him to come! I just let him come!” he explained in a rush when he saw you open your mouth to yell at him. “There’s a problem with the water system at his building and I told him he could crash here for a couple nights. He is out all the time so I totally forgot he was sleeping here this week.” You scoffed.

“You’re dumb, did you know that?” Jimin just giggled at your response. It was an accident, so there was nothing to get angry at. You grinned at him, playing with his fingers. “Can we finish what we started now?” But he grimaced at that.

“I don’t know how to feel about fucking you after what happened. I mean, is one thing to fantasize about it and other completely different to experience it without consent.” Jimin didn’t look convinced. You appreciated so much how tactful he was about the situation.

“You’re right, baby, maybe let the shock pass first.” You squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. “But would you, at least, let me help you? As a reward for being a good friend.” He smirked, and passed his arms around your waist to hug you to his body.

“How could I say no to a reward?” …

And just as fast as you agreed, you were on Jimin’s bed. Currently, your boyfriend was laying on his back, sweats on his mid thighs, with you kneeling by his side and pumping him with all your heart. And yet, he was fixated on the ceiling, barely reacting to the stimulation.

“Man, why the fuck are you just laying there? I’m giving you a hand job right now,” you huffed, frustrated with the indifference your boyfriend showed toward your efforts. “If you want a blow, you just have to ask, you know.” You stopped all movements and Jimin finally focused on you, coming back from being lost in his head.

“Sorry, babe, you’re amazing as always. I just can’t stop thinking about what happened.” He sat up, now being face to face to look you closely.

“Well, same. It was awkward but also kinda hot.” Jimin nodded a little absent-minded.

“He seemed surprised that you said he should ask.”

“It’s not every day that two of your friends indirectly invite you to watch them have sex, though.” At that, Jimin arched an eyebrow, playful all of a sudden.

“So you were inviting him, huh?” You blushed.

“I mean, yeah. Wasn’t that what we wanted? Did I read your eyes wrong?” Jimin, once more, got closer to your face like a menace, until you were millimeters from touching.

“So, you really plan on having him watch while you’re getting fucked mercilessly, in every way, in full dom/sub display? I bet you would like to get dicked down by him too.” He smiled and you felt your heart racing. What was your boyfriend implying?

“Uh, I don’t know? I mean, sounds… Yeah.” You really tried to form a rational sentence, though it was difficult with all your thoughts all over the place. As an avid over-thinker, you needed three to five business days to sit down and dissect the whole situation from beginning to end to sort out your opinions. “And what about you? Would you be fine by that? Would you also like to get some of his dick?”

“Nah, love. I don’t think it flows like that between us. Would be super embarrassing to bounce on his lap and go to a company briefing with him the next morning.” And he smirked deviously at you. “But it wouldn’t be weird watching him thoroughly giving it to you. Or should I say, hammering it into you.” He extended his arm and fondly caressed the side of your face. “Mmh, I think the shock had already passed because I just unlocked a new fantasy. Baby, I really, really need to see you being fucked into dumbness by him” he expressed with a pout, like begging you to give it to him. “I can attest he has a horse dick too.”

“Jimin!”

“And I think it will help me to shut up that annoying ego of yours for once; you’d been domming for too long and need humbling” he added to tease you. You frowned at the teasing; frowned even deeper at the weird list of cons of fucking Namjoon that your boyfriend just gave you.

"You’re getting a little too brave for a man with his dick in his vengeful girlfriend’s hand,” you told him lowly, narrowing your eyes and gripping said dick harder. Jimin took a sharp breath but smiled anyways.

“That’s it, babe, that’s how I like it. Just tug a couple times more while I imagine Namjoon folding you into two and fucking you to tears.” You scoffed and pinched Jimin’s nipple, way too hard to be pleasurable.

“Ow! But I’m being honest!” Jimin complained with a laugh.

“If you want me to blow you, stay fucking quiet, whore” you warned Jimin, getting comfortable on your knees. Your boyfriend helped you by taking your long hair in a makeshift ponytail in one hand. And you did exactly what you said.

As always, Jimin was loud and, at times, rough. Whenever you bobbed up, he only let a second pass before push your head down on his cock again. He lived for hearing you gagging and choking on him. And, as expected, he loved it messy and with a lot of saliva involved.

“Holy fuck, this mouth is amazing, baby, just like your pussy. Dirty little bitch, where did you learn to deepthroat this good? Is because you used your whore mouth on many cocks? I bet that’s why.” With each word, Jimin thrusted his hips against your mouth rougher. He was very aware of your limits and knew that his words and movements were making you drip. “Those late nights waiting for me in the company? I bet you spend them being used by the guys. Whose cocks do you slobber, you fucking cumdump? Yoongi hyung’s? Hobi hyungs’s?”

Your eyes welled up just as your pussy creamed the skimpy panties you wore for Jimin. Though you had a pretty dominant and defiant personality, you became fully submissive from time to time to humor boyfriend. Like in that moment, when you let him control your head by taking fistfuls of your hair to make you gobble his cock however he wanted. His balls hit your chin each time he snapped his hips up, and, since all that movement made it very difficult for you to keep your saliva in your mouth, most of it ended up falling towards Jimin’s body, dampening his testicles and inner thighs.

“Ah, I know -shit- you act all innocent but you let Namjoon use your mouth every night, like the disgusting slutty toy you are.” He was really close; you could tell by the precum that his cock leaked on your tongue and how his member throbbed. You looked up at him and catched him devouring you with his eyes, plump lower lip tucked between his teeth (and you couldn’t help internally melting at his cute crooked front tooth). On the other side of the blowjob, Jimin felt his abs flexing uncontrollably while he fixed all his attention on you, the most perfect being that ever existed. You were a sight for his sore eyes, with that fucked up face he loved – the only thing that could make him come in seconds. “Oh fuck, I won’t stop thinking about his come dripping from your mouth. Shit, shit, shit—”

Despite having your mouth way too full and roughed, you moaned to assist your boyfriend in cumming. The thrusts became erratic and a loud, long moan left Jimin’s lips when he threw his head back to finally let go, coating your mouth and throat. He pushed your face against his crotch and held you there tightly until he stopped coming. In a couple seconds more, his breathing was steadier and he could let go of your poor head.

You lifted yourself slowly and breathed deeply, composing yourself despite being a mess of tears, saliva and cum. Wiping some off with the back of your hand, you looked pointedly at Jimin, who just raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

“You’re getting a little too insistent with this me and Namjoon thing. Are you really that fucked up? That you would enjoy the emotional torture of seeing me with someone else? Do you have a kink about being cheated on?” Even with a rough voice, Jimin understood what you said instantly, and his response was a roll of eyes and a snort.

“Don’t be an idiot, I just find it hot, ok? I DO NOT want you to leave me for him.”

“So hot that you had to talk about it so detailly to cum?” You helped to get his pants back on their place before fishing one shirt you found nearby to clean your face. Jimin admired you for a moment, hands behind his head.

“Yes.” He smiles brightly. “And I’m serious when I say I need to see you get fucked by him. It’s, like, vital for me right now.” It was your turn to snort. “Maybe all of us could benefit from his stay here.” Eyes drooping, you rested your body on his, using his chest as your pillow. Too many things happened in the span of an hour and just now all the alcohol intake had its effect of making you sleepy. Whatever other things Jimin said, you missed them after giving your veredict:

“Maybe.”

[bonefall]

Now this had me thinking... Would Willowpelt die in the same way as canon (although to another creature im assuming since bb!badgers aren't as dangerous as they are in canon)? If she's getting kept around longer, maybe Cricketclaw is the one who sacrifices herself instead? That sounds like a fitting way for her to go, considering she couldn't protect her own siblings?

I feel like I should add a TM to anything that I'm working on in my drafts that has significant progress and is blog-plot-relevant, that will explain something exactly like this LMAO

Forgive me I am, at heart, a bear that eats half a salmon and then forgets I had a fish at all

Willowpelt's brush with death is staying, and is actually a bit plot relevant in Firestar's Quietus! I have a very specific scene which is actually totally written out-- actually fuck it, I'll just post it here

Context and narrative purpose of this scene:

Firestar is informed of a boar on the territory, and gathers a little scouting patrol to try and figure out what sort of hog it is.

VERY IMPORTANT SEGWAY. Because of how Willowpelt gets bitten here and Firestar loses a life saving Sorrelpaw, they all end up in the Cleric's den where Ferncloud is telling a story both to practice her new job as upcoming Educator and to comfort everyone.

The fact Willowpelt is not dead is how I get Littlecloud away from Runningnose and Firestar

Runningnose has a hunch, in this moment, that goody two-shoes little Firestar might be the perfect person to help Brokenstar, and teases the visions and revelations he's about to have

Establishes that boars are the new Big Bad Beastie of BB

Presents Sorrelpaw's epilepsy and demonstrates how it is a danger to her safety

(this is a lot of buildup but this is actually pretty short lmao)

So anyway before I let you go on to the readmore and a preview of Firestar's Quietus, no one takes Willowpelt's death here, and Willow is going to hang on for longer. I wanted to make sure I have a good amount of cats to kill off in the carnage of the White Hart's destruction.

Wherever Cricketclaw dies, it will be for a purpose. Either to show how bloody the TNP conflicts are, or in a greencough epidemic because I'm trying to make sure those aren't just "Kill a bunch of randos offscreen" disease anymore.

WILLOWPELT'S BOAR

The patrol is Sandstorm and Sorrelpaw, Willowpelt, Longtail and Sootpaw, and himself. It's just supposed to be for scouting, hence why the apprentices are coming along.

Unfortunately the hog has other plans, lunging out of a bush and going for Sootpaw

Willowpelt jumps in the way and gets bitten instead

Sorrelpaw acts quick, slashing its sensitive nose, drawing its attention and bolting as fast as she can

RIGHT as she crosses the Thunderpath, her body goes limp and she falls to the ground

She is having an absence seizure, and fallen flat on the road

The hog is hot on her heels, bowling after her, when a monster screeches to a halt out of nowhere

The hog is frozen in the headlights, Firestar bursts into action to pull Sorrelpaw out of the road

(i hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums) BUMP BUMP

The boar and Firestar have been hit by, have been struck by, an automobile

When he sees StarClan, they're about to greet him with love. But their faces turn to shock and fear, the scenery becoming sinister and trees falling down.

A fifth oak tree is crashing down towards them. Firestar stares at it, dumbstruck.

Just before it strikes him, his eyes snap open

Firestar resurrects with a burst of energy, dragging Sorrelpaw off the road and into the safety of a fern on the ShadowClan side

The humans are coming out of the car to examine the boar they struck, but Firestar doesn't have time to consider that or his vision.

Littlecloud's head pokes out of the foliage and he springs into action, checking them both for injury. Breathless, Firestar points behind him and rasps, "Willowpelt!"

Littlecloud nods and bolts across the road.

Runningnose saunters out from a different angle-- one where he would have been able to see the road. Everything that happened.

His gaze is unsettling as ever, pausing, eyeing the leader up and down.

He starts tending to Sorrelpaw, then mumbles,

"Brave of you."

"It's what any leader would have done."

"No. It's what you always do."

Firestar doesn't know how to respond to that, but he's glad Runningnose isn't staring at him anymore.

But continues, "You will learn terrible things in the days to come, Firestar, and StarClan will not answer the questions that find you. If you seek the truth, meet me by the mothermouth on the night after the next gathering."

Sorrelpaw is leaning up now, her eyes dazed and confused, as if she's trying to figure out what happened.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. this is completely unrelated to anything but one of my loose power ideas for ashe so far is just. straight up telekinesis (inorganic/non alive matter) w/ an upper range limit that's like a couple times his body weight.... terrifying!! fits w/ the fucking. structurally unsound house collapsing around them & his mom trapped & crushed & everything happening around them!! maybe the longer he has it running/the more strain he's under, the more powerful he gets & the less he's like actively aware of what he's doing (like labyrinth) & the more it just runs on autopilot (bad bad fucked up and bad and dangerous) & the less he's cognizant the harder it is to come back down (<- related 2 breaker shit somehow. ur turn. handing u the half finished thing make it work please :( )... trickster state ant death spiral.... kind of is similar a little bit to his stuff in canon if u stretch it a lot.... anyway not married to this at all just throwing stuff at the wall <33

I ALSO HAVE TRICKSTER THOUGHTS. OKA.Y. FUCK. so. thinking abt him as his Own Person......... i love u trickster....... i just got to the part where he's hanging out with the lil girl in her treehouse. just some dude!! :]]] ..... so. sliding across the table to lean in towards u pulling out my ballpoint pen & sketching out diagrams on my cocktail napkin.

^i think.... the trickster could be something like this. he could get to have some crazy master shit going on where he can control & affect other capes like the chaos demons in canon. alec if he had a greater range of control & could permanently or semipermanently fuck with ur brain settings etc. u see where im going w this.... i think he should get to control ashe :] PUPPET SHIT NOT EVEN FUCKING INTENTIONAL BTW im just kind of crazy abt this also. like. dinah situation except he isn't drugged out of his mind (well. maybe. redundancies) he's just always in his loose nuke fugue state & kept in the trickster's control, he's very handy! he likes this one, he's so useful, he doesn't wanna give him up! :) i have no clue How the trickster would find him in this scenario btw. i just think it would fucking suck for everyone involved <3333 anyway.

ALSO FUCKING ILL OVER ALL UR ASHE/TRICKSTER STUFF BTW. haven't said it bc all of that is in the mile long draft i'm still working on but believe me i am like shaking and sobbing and on the floor puddle of blood abt it all ur so right ab everything forever. ANYWAY. thoughts??

ohhhhh telekinesis and losing control of his telekinesis as he gets worse is REALLY good. yea yea yea I like that a lot. u are handing this to me to make sense of okay okay lemme put my brain into gear thinking about Scenarios. under the cut time before I ramble about nhw like a madman for the billionth time. trickster state ant death spiral is a sentence that will be in my mind all day today i just know it. why do we keep doing horrible ant things to our little guys (it's ashes turn under the solar death ray now)

okay his shaker powers manifesting as telekinesis is perfect for the tragic irony part of the power thing (which. can you tell I fucking love that little detail? god that's so fucking good. your powers will help you. theoretically. but watch out!! that's so fucking delicious and awful). he triggered in a house that was about to collapse, his mom crushed by whatever it was that fell on her, of course hed want to save her and get her out! but the irony and futility comes in waves where. 1) he lifts up the bookshelf or whatever it is and that doesn't matter because she's already crushed. 2) he can't even help her with his powers because they can only affect inorganic material. he can't move her (he's only 8, he's so small) . 3) he is in a state of extreme distress and these first two realizations are making it worse and. where is he? what was he doing? Who is he? who's that person on the ground? UGHAHHVHV. HORRIFYING.

altered mental states and hypnotism and not being able to control your actions and being made to do something terrible and not being able to stop it is such a uniquely awful type of fear, and I think that kind of fear kind of compounds on itself to make it worse once he realizes its happening? I think he doesn't notice the fact that he's losing control at first. he's getting stressed and pushing himself harder and wow! his powers are actually responding to that, he's getting stronger! awesome! but stuff just gradually starts getting more... blurry. floaty. he becomes less responsive to the things around him. someone calls out to him and it takes him longer than it should to process that, he doesnt immediately recognize the words or whos saying them. and like you said kind of eventually shifts into autopilot. it's almost like he's fading out of consciousness but he's Awake the whole time. he's just not Aware . which, in a fight that's happening in a big open space like the whirlwind fight for example. that's not Too bad because there's less of a chance he'll accidentally hit someone he shouldn't be targeting. in closer quarters it gets really dangerous really fast, it's really easy to pinpoint exactly where and when he starts losing control.

side note rq im imagining the way this would work on a team, with the others kind of constantly keeping him in check, making sure he doesn't go too far with his powers? thinking about the way Failsafe's powers work, I think he's always sort of dimly aware of his teammates in the background and when ashe starts to lose control he either a) his pain level goes fucking haywire and sets of all the alarm bells in dakotas mind OR b) he drops off the radar completely. unresponsive, it's almost like he dies, he just gets totally cut off from the pain sense so dakota can immediately feel something is wrong, looks around in panic thinking hes gonna find ashe on the ground but hes still just standing there using his powers (i cant decide which of these is worse. smile). so dakota makes it his unofficial responsibility to be Ashe's lock check in a fight, esp with his mover powers, he's able to get to ashe fastest and easiest without being hit by any stray projectiles. bear with me bc im weak for these types of scenes (picturingggg that scene with vex and percy at the end of tlovm....) where dakota just puts his hands on either side of ashes face and just talks to him like "come back to me, don't get lost, don't let yourself fall" etc etc can anyone hear me it's so dark in here. and that sort of thing works for them for a long time because its a direct physical outside interference, ashe is able to kind of wake up from his fugue state and turn down his powers and bring himself back to awareness because dakota can usually get to him before he passes the point of no return. usually being the key word here.

operating with the breaker stuff being trickster mode still (I'll get 2 ur other idea about trickster after this but let me live in the moment for a second) I think THAT becomes the point of no return. once ashe gets to an emotional/mental state where he feels like he's in a situation too similar to his trigger, the breaker powers kick in and he becomes totally unable to control his actions (maybe with practice and training he could learn how to control his breaker stuff but hey he was actively extremely discouraged from even thinking about using his powers for a solid 10-ish years of his life, thanks mark :) ) . still imagining this is trickster mode, that's where he shifts forms and becomes less Ashe and more Trickster. ashe is still in there somewhere, maybe, but it gets REALLY REALLY difficult to break him out of that state until he feels like the threat is gone and there's no more danger. which. because he can't distinguish or recognize individual people when he's like this, having three other REALLY Powerful Capes around him does not minimize the feeling that he's in danger !!! the wards trying to break him out of trickster mode directly would probably just make things worse or put themselves in danger.

power mechanic wise I get this feeling that breaker powers because they overlap with the other classifications so much, that means breaker forms can manifest their own powers that could fall under other classifications? so in Trickster form his powers become less shaker and more master? (hey more similarities with wibby I'm sure wibby feels really normal about this). i don't think you've seen trickster in an actual fight yet so im a little hesitant to tell u this but considering you've seen the my friend mr giggles part you're close enough that i don't feel too bad about it- aside from the chaos demon master shit I REALLYYYY like the trickster being able to manipulate his environment (breaker powers) but being limited to like. carnival bullshit. games. the big throwing knife wheel. the floor is lava but Real. using a giant pinwheel as a weapon. as soon as Circus was introduced in worm i was like THIS IS SOME TRICKSTER SHIT !!!!!!. i don't know why ashes powers specifically would manifest like that (maybe because he triggered as a young kid and it's his brain tapping into the childlike tendencies of seeing everything as a game, turning the horrible scenarios into "something fun" as fucksd up as that is, idfk) so maybe this leans more into the trickster being a separate person but those are most of my thoughts on him for now :]

WHICH LEADS INTO YOUR THINF REALLY WELL, TRICKSTER BEING A DIFFERENT GUY. which. I do ljke this because it's actually. closer to the case in canon and would make sense for us to tie into the implications for season 3 (being. extremely vague here but we could do some TERRIBLE shit w trickster for season 3 if he's a separate guy. smile) THE ONLY THING. STOPPING ME FROM FULLY AGREEING W U ON THIS (u know I looooovd the pain of puppet imagery I am so down for this torture) IS THAT. I DONT HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS about how ashes breaker powers would manifest. or how/if/why trickster would be present for his mom's death (although I guess he doesn't necessarily have to be?) i think maybe the compromise here would be to give ashe the carnival shit breaker powers and have those just be His, while trickster can just be a separate s-class master who favors ashe specifically because he likes having control of those powers (because they're fun! "why him?" "i like this one. fits like a glove :)")

OKAY. FUCK. THIS TOOK ME LIKE 2 HOURS TO TYPE UP AND IM AT WORK NOW ILL MAYBE ADD ONTO THIS LATER IF I TJINK OF ANYTHING ELSE BUT. HI GOODMORNIGN IM GONNA SPEND MY WHOLE SHIFT THINKING ABT THIS