#satan stans come get your man

[da-shrimping-station]

sopping wet mop

mopheadSatanmopheadSatanmopheadSatan

someone clean up rapunzel real quick before shit hits the fan

[wlwmedarda]

I'm honestly just looking to rant and this might be long depending on how fast I get irritated the more I type so if this isn't coherent or well written I apologize in advance. Since it looks like Ambessa will take on a more antagonistic role in arcane season two, I would like to unpack the fandom's antiblackness that you guys are either blind to or aware and too pussy to call it out as my gut is telling me it's gonna increase and if no one is gonna start the difficult conversation then I sure as hell will.

Sevika:

Mel:

Starting off strong with the definition of "you guys want complex female characters but can't even handle her". Mel Medarda is in quite the predicament seeing how she's morally grey, a black woman, AND "gets in the way" of a mlm ship so she was kinda screwed from the start. A cunning politician disowned for her pacifism who acts as a sort of bridge to Noxus' slow introduction, and is THE ONLY CHARACTER IN THE SEASON 1 MAIN CAST SPECIFICALLY CREATED FOR THE SHOW. She's treated like satan incarnate or a Jezebel (highly suggest looking into that if you don't know what that is), GOOD character analysis is rare, and when she is talked about positively, it's so often chalked up to appearances that I'd rather yall not talk about her at all. Oh you love Mel? Then can we talk about her relationship with her mother? Unpack her dynamic with Jayce? Maybe more fanworks centered around her? I've seen yall's fake asses dropping the shittiest fucking takes about her only to turn around and gush over how pretty she is, and yall think you're slick about it and you're not. I would say I prefer the ones who are loud and proud about their hatred but that'd be a lie, they're two cheeks on the same ass; annoying and couldn't give a decent break down of her character if a gun was pointed at they head even she's perfect to dissect. I could talk about her more but we'd be here all day and so many black women even from outside the fanbase have already talked about yall so there's no need for me to add on 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️.

Quick question, have you guys ever tried to talk about her in a non sexual way? Yes, Sevika is undeniably sexy and you could argue that true stans of hers talk about her outside of horny time, but a good half of the fandom is a different story. In a similar case to Mel's, deep dives into her character are rare to find which is crazy when she acts as Zaun's own "kingmaker". She's loyal to her city and the cause, never to a specific person and will not hesitate to betray you. She could be your right hand man one day, and the next she might find a better kingpin to follow and stab you in the back like it all meant nothing. "Were you tempted?" "Not for a worm like him". Simple and subtle and probably my favorite Sevika scene; she comes to realize Silco is no longer the best leader for Zaun, but he's as good as it gets for now and so she sticks by him. I remember a YouTube comment breaking down how she's essentially the quintessential Zaun: a brute warrior molded by her environment, who defied Vander's peaceful ways and embraced Silco's cruelty. Her mindset and goal is interesting and you'd think it'd result in some fascinating meta or exploration of her upbringing when we got a hint that she potentially has some daddy issues right? Obviously, but what do we get instead? White sapphics treating her like nothing more than a sexual object. How delightful!

Ekko:

This might partially be Riot's fault because — and I hate to sound like a league lore nerd — Ekko is quite underdeveloped compared to the richer origins of his former pre arcane self, but I'm gonna hold off on that till the season finale to see how they handle him. Anyways, at this point the fandom clearly sees him as Jinx's trophy husband. When you talk about him, she is brought into the convo 90% of the time. That's exactly why I prefer black timebomb shippers over the nonblack ones because I trust they actually love Ekko as a character on his own. Even though I have my complaints regarding how's been written so far, I still know he's too good to be reduced to Jinx's loverboy. He fights and cares for his city, the only character that you can confidently say is pure of heart, and is the revolutionary leader Zaun really needs. He's just as smart as Jinx too, he is literally going to create TIME TRAVEL. Why does no one wanna talk about that? Can we be excited for his character development and arc not just for the timebomb scenes you'll get out of it?

Ambessa:

Can't even deny this woman is awful but her presence on screen enthralled me after a couple of rewatches and I also love bad mothers in media so I've settled on a love/hate relationship. Yes, she's definitely gonna have some influence on Caitlyn, which makes sense since she has now lost her mother; she's vulnerable and as we have seen, naive. She's practically free real estate for Ambessa. My recent worry though has been how the fandom seems to be willing to put all of Caitlyn's actions on her as if Cait isn't a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions. Of course being grown doesn't mean you're immune to manipulation, but I've seen some Silco and Jinx comparisons and it is NOT the same. Mind you we haven't even seen the first three episodes; we don't know how far Ambessa's manipulation is going to go and we can't really tell what the dynamic is gonna be like based off of clips and trailers that are likely shown out of context on purpose to throw people off. I'll never defend her actions, hell I'll join in on the lashings, but my black ass is also not gonna sit here and let yall talk about her weirdly or pin all of this on her.

Some might say I'm overthinking this, but I've been here since November 2021 and have sat back and observed for 2 years. You don't have to write deep, philosophical conversations 24/7, I'm sure it's not all in bad faith and I won't act like I don't thirst over Sevika or marvel at Mel's beauty. I'm not saying you have to like these characters and that you're racist if you don't. My frustration comes from the lack of nuanced conversations and hypocritical opinions surrounding black characters in this show. When you try to say something about this, you're hit with excuses; it reminds me of how man obsessed fujoshis act when they're questioned for not giving two fucks about female characters. They're either reduced to one character trait, only admired for their looks, or only discussed when it's about the white character they're connected to. Do NOT under ANY circumstance be black and morally ambiguous, you WILL be held to higher moral standards than everyone's wittle blorbos who can do wrong and are defended from all sides when you dare to take the rose colored stan glasses off and criticize them. What's really ridiculous is you hear the "complex characters" bullshit every two to three business days and some of you have the nerve to boast about this series being diverse while simultaneously ignoring the complexities in the characters of color. This is the main reason I took a step back and with season two around the corner I thought "Hey, maybe it'll be better this time!" and it was a mistake. Good to know yall still have an underlying racism problem you don't wanna address but with some extra classism thrown in. "What will we do once Arcane ends?" hopefully get a job, touch some grass, and reflect. Lord knows yall need it. The faster yall sizzle out the better. I'm done that's all I have to say lol goodnight 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽.

[teleit]

Rhaenyra would never kill her own kin? Say it with your hand on the Bible and watch the Lord punish you for perjury

Team black stans is being almost hysterical, trying to convince us that Saint Rhaenyra would never dare to kill Alicent's children, that Otto and Alicent are the second and third coming of Satan, and they are must be blame for everything, from the birth of the Night King to the end of the Daenerys arc, and if it weren't for these two, Westeros would have already installed electricity, invented penicillin and learned to wash their asses more than once a month.

As proof, you are given quotes from a book that these fans have hardly read in its entirety, their own opinion, which, of course, is an indisputable fact and, sometimes, even "well, she would have killed some greens so what, why make such a fuss about it."

These people don't know how to work with a narrative, and it shows. Stories like Dance of the Dragons require you to dive into the personalities of both teams so you can understand the tragedy of the situation - a civil war between family members that will nearly destroy House Targaryen and Westeros.

Now imagine that you, Alyssa/Baelon Targaryen, are Alicent's fifth child. And this is a fanfic (show), not a book, so we're going to base this on the events of the adaptation.

Your father doesn't care about you, and you don't understand why. Did you do something wrong? Why does your father love your half-sister and her children, but not you and your siblings? Why doesn't he protect you from your nephews' bullying?

You don't get a dragon egg because they are few and far between, and Rhaenyra has another child who needs one more. You get the egg that comes later, or you ride a full-grown dragon.

Your half-sister Rhaenyra HATES you. She shows no shame in showing her disdain, barely tolerates your existence, and never punishes her children for bullying you. She won't talk to you, won't play with you, and even seems to hate your name.

You hear rumors that your nephews are bastards. You know that having bastards is wrong and against the Faith, and you don't understand why Rhaenyra is never punished for her bad deeds. You saw Aemond being scolded for standing up to our nephews, why is no one scolding Rhaenyra?

At Laena's funeral, your brother Aemond becomes a Vhagar rider, and Luke cuts out his eye for it. When the argument happens, you are afraid, scared, and crying, because father is angry at Aemond, and instead of comforting and protecting him, he demands something from him. Rhaenyra demands that Aemond be tortured, and no one protects your brother from her. Your father yells at Aegon because Aemond said that Aegon is the one who lied about your nephews being legitimate Velaryons. You don't understand how words can be as bad as your brother's injury. No one ever scolded or punished Rhaenyra for anything, so what if her children were called a bad word? Your father declares that there will be no punishment for your brother's injury, as if a lost eye is like a scratched knee and nothing bad happened. Your mother is angry at Rhaenyra and tries to hurt Luke, and suddenly she is the bad one and it's all her fault, and everyone has forgotten that Rhaenyra wanted to torture Aegon, who was hurt, as if it doesn't matter.

You are scared to get your dragon. What if Rhaena decides that this dragon was meant to be hers and you are a thief too, just like she accused Aemond? Will they cut out your eye too?

Laenor dies, and you hear that Rhaenyra has married Daemon, ignoring the mourning period. You remember this man - he laughed at Laena's funeral and frightened your mother with his presence. You have heard terrible things about him, and you are afraid to be near him - but thank the gods he does not come to the Red Keep, so you sleep peacefully. You are afraid to think about how exactly Laenor died, and whether Rhaenyra and Daemon were involved.

When your half-sister finally appears at the Red Keep, her first act is to claim Driftmark for her bastard son. When Vaemond Velaryon, your distant relative, calls her a whore and her children bastards, Daemon cuts off his head, and none of the Blacks look sad, even though he was a close relative to Rhaenys, Baela, and Rhaenyra's three eldest sons (presumably).

And that's just part of the shit that goes on in your life. If it were possible, you'd demand a refund.

If someone told you that Rhaenyra wouldn't kill you for the sake of her peaceful reign, would you believe them?

PS. not a native speaker and it shows, so what?

[one-britt-to-rule-them-all]

Can we get *ahem* anatomy (dick) headcanons? Like, bad dragon, inhuman vibes because we stan monster fuckers? I'm thirsty for everyone, so do your faves or something haha.

Yes, yes we do stan monster fuckers in this house. My faves you say? Have all the brothers because I'm feeling generous today.

What their anatomy is like [AKA dick HCs]

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor

Genre: NSFW

Pronouns: GN [You/Your] for the most part. There are some sections that have headcanons that mention female anatomy, but they are marked with [AFAB], so you can avoid it if it makes you uncomfortable. 💕

CW: | Teratophilia | Explicit sexual content | Implied Poly!Reader in some sections |

Notes: This turned into an odd mixture of what their dicks look like and other general NSFW headcanons because I didn’t just want to plaster a link and go ‘this is what it looks like.’ It’s still centred around their anatomy, but there are other HCs mixed in. ☺️

Minors, DNI. NSFW content.

Lucifer

Based off the Demogorgon dildo.

• Lucifer's cock is as gorgeous as it is intimidating. It's a pretty dark red colour that has a highlight of black over it, and with the pronounced curve and lovely texture, you'll get some very pleasant G-spot stimulation.

• The tip of his cock is rather large, so it will take quite a bit of preparation to properly take, but if you thought it would be smooth sailing from there, well you're just naive, huh? If you thought the tip was hard to take, you'll be in for a nasty surprise when you suddenly find yourself having a white-knuckle grip on the sheets when Lucifer bottoms out.

• Because holy fuck, the base of Lucifer's cock is huge, and at 9.5 inches and being amongst the largest of the seven brothers, you're going to be filled to the brim and won't be able to form a single coherent thought.

• And Lucifer can only smirk at your reactions because he knows. He knows that he looks good, he knows that he's big, and he knows that he's bruising you from the inside, and sadistic as he is, he loves watching you struggle to take him.

• Lucifer's cock practically throbs with excitement every time you scream out how much you love his cock, how big he is. It's his sin at work, but he will slow down and edge you until he can get you begging and whimpering those sweet words. He'll make sure you fuel his pride before he resumes fucking into you, and he's a very patient man, so he can do it all night if you want to be difficult.

• Lucifer is very warm. There's no particular reason or explanation as to why he's got this particular quirk with his anatomy, but his cock runs warmer than the rest of his body, and his pre-cum and cum even warmer — somewhat comparable to molten wax. It's actually great for stimulation, and it'll feel all the nicer if you're blindfolded to heighten your senses.

• And you best believe that Lucifer greatly enjoys depriving you of your senses, so he'll be using this part of him to his advantage.

• Another quirk of his is that when he's aroused, he shifts into his demon form. Lucifer doesn't necessarily mean to do it, but his instincts scream at him to do it. It has something to do with being at his most elegant-looking because the prideful demon in him wants him to make sure you'll be seduced. Kind of like his symbolic animal.

• He has quite the strong and imposing scent, so you best believe that other demons will know who fucked you so good that you can barely walk a straight line.

Mammon

Based off the Demon Dick dildo.

• In of itself, the shape of Mammon's cock is pretty standard when it comes to demons — mainly with the elongated, pointed and spade-like tip — but that doesn't make it any less impressive, being a good 8 inches in length with a pretty generous shaft in terms of girth, but all without being too uncomfortably large. His cock isn’t too odd of a colour when compared to his brothers. It follows his tan skin, though the tip is a faint, dark red colour, and his veins are pitch black.

• He’d rather kiss Lucifer’s shoes before admitting this out loud, but Mammon is actually rather insecure about his dick. He’s not overly fond of how seemingly… plain it is. Especially if you’ve been intimate with any of his brothers prior to him, he’ll worry that he won’t be able to live up to your expectations and seem mediocre in comparison. So, please praise and worship him — make Mammon understand that he’s perfect just the way he is.

• After he sees just how good he’s fucking you, how you’re drooling about how good his cock feels, his ego soars. He slides in so wonderfully, and you wrap around him so nicely that it feels like your hole was meant to take his, and only his cock. And as your first man, it drives him absolutely over the edge — of course you're meant for him.

• The thing is, being a higher-ranking demon, Mammon's anatomy does differ in a way that makes a huge difference in the pleasure you'll be receiving with him versus a regular demon. What he has that lessers don't, are tantalizing, scale-like ridges, running from the underside of his tip all the way to the base, as well as smooth yet prominent bumps running down his shaft.

• I can guarantee that Mammon will have no problem pulling orgasm after orgasm from you; the texture of his cock just hits all of the right spots. And honey, it’s a promise that he’ll make a mess out of you. It’s his mission to make sure you’re both covered in a mixture of both his and your cum.

• The ridges on the underside of his cock are very sensitive, so get on your knees for him and tease the scales with your tongue. He’ll come undone so beautifully for you. 💕

• [AFAB] Similarly, he loves getting a pussy job from you. Straddle his lap and let him grip your hips so that he can slowly guide your movements. He lives for the feeling of your slick pussy rubbing against the ridges, and on the flip side, having them glide against your clit will threaten to make you double over in pleasure.

• It won’t take too long for his insecurities to diminish, and you’ll be sure that he’s gonna be bragging about how much you love his cock.

Leviathan

Based on the Orochi dildo.

• Oh, Levi. Sweet, awkward, easily-flustered, shy little Leviathan.

• Yeah, he's fucking hung. He's the perfect example of the shy, nerdy boy who's secretly got a monster cock trope — figuratively and literally.

• Out of the seven brothers, Levi is actually the second largest in terms of girth, beating Lucifer by just a bit. Sitting at a respectable 7 inches, no, he doesn't have the most length, but does he really need it when he has a thick, scaly and heavily textured cock as he does?

• Or two.

• No, you're not hallucinating, (Y/N), Levi has two cocks. Huh? But he only had one a few days ago? You'd be correct, but Levi will let you in on a little secret: he has a second cock sheathed beneath a little slit hidden within the pretty scales lining his pelvic area. He is a sea monster and a demon, after all.

• So, what are you in the mood for? Do you want a smooth ride? Maybe you're feeling a little lazy or worn out from your day and think you only have the energy to handle one cock? No problem. Or maybe you're feeling like an utter monster-fucking whore and want to be stuffed to the brim with two, fat demon cocks? Leviathan's got you.

• It did take a lot of courage for him to show you this part of him; he was pretty awkward about it and was persuaded that it’d scare you off and that you’d break up with this gross, worthless shut-in of an otaku with weird-looking di—

• Please don't tease him about his reptile-like anatomy. He's super insecure about it, but he does — slowly but surely — come to appreciate it more when he realizes just how much of a monster-fucker you are.

• What's not to love? His shaft is covered in smooth scales and lined with mouth-watering bends and curves, and add the thick, textured tip, and you've got one of the most unique monster-cocks you'll take. From the head to the base, he's a really pretty orange that fades into a gold colour.

• When you want to take both of his cocks, Levi is in a bit of a mental limbo. On one hand, can a human even take two at once? Especially if it's in the same hole?? He doesn't want to hurt you! But on the other hand... fuck, that's hot.

• He's come to realize that he has a huge kink for interspecies sex. So, seeing his human stuffed full of serpentine cock brings out the unhinged Grand Admiral of Hell's Navy in him.

• Loves having you suck on one while he jerks off the other. Getting to cum both in your mouth and on your face? Fuck yes. But be warned that Leviathan cums a lot. He has the heaviest loads among his brothers.

• One thing he loathes about his anatomy is that the scales on his cock(s) do shed every other month. You'll know when he's preparing to shed because he's constantly shifting uncomfortably because of how itchy he is, and he refuses to let you see him naked when in this state. The scales are so dull and ugly-looking — to him — and he doesn't want to gross you out.

• Eventually — with a lot of reassurance — he does let you see him while in shed, and yes, the scales are dull-looking, but that doesn't really matter, because you've both come to discover that being surrounded by your warmth helps calm the itch until the old scales are ready to come off.

• So, cockwarming the sea demon becomes a regular when he's in shed. It's a really intimate thing between the two of you, and it's honestly quite sweet, especially knowing that it's a really vulnerable moment for Levi.

Satan

Based off the Austin dildo.

• At first glance, Satan’s cock seems pretty normal. Hell, it almost looks like humanoid anatomy, and if you’ve been intimate with any of his brothers before, this might make you raise a bit of an eyebrow. Like, it’s very nice looking and definitely looks like it’ll fit so nicely inside of you. After all, it is a good 8.5 inches with just the right amount of girth to feel amazing without causing any initial discomfort.

• Sure, he’s got some very nice ripples at the underside of his tip, but that was about the only non-human thing you could make out. Even in terms of colour, it’s the same colour as his skin tone.

• He fits inside of you so perfectly, so there’s really no reason to complain. Besides, are you really going to bitch to Satan that his cock isn’t ‘demonic’ enough for you? Just lay back, spread your legs and let him bottom out so that he can—

• Oh… oh he has a fucking knot.

• Surprise! Among the brothers, Satan is one to have a more animalistic type of anatomy, having the canine-like feature of a knot — a thick one at that. It’s a bit of a challenge to fit; it’ll stretch you quite a bit, and Satan will have to gently ease it into you to avoid too much discomfort.

• But once it’s in, and you’re properly stretched, well… let’s just say that Satan’s demon instincts will be getting the best of him, so prepare for a long night of screaming and climaxing.

• And yes, his knot does swell when he cums, so you’ll be locked in some cockwarming sessions between rounds. These will probably be the more romantic and intimate moments of sex with Satan because otherwise, Satan’s cock was meant to breed and fuck senseless.

• You’ll be walking — crawling — out of his room with bite marks and deep scratches littering your body, and maybe even bruises from areas that he gripped too hard. Whenever his knot swells, his claws and fangs just… come out — it’s an instinct. But don’t worry, Satan is so good, gentle and attentive with aftercare. You won’t hurt at all when he’s done with you. 💕

• Satan’s scent is the strongest amongst the brothers, and it’s a highly territorial scent. He doesn’t do it on purpose, it’s just how his body is during intercourse.

• Even if you’ve fully cleaned yourself, even days after you’ve had sex with him, everybody will be able to smell him on you. Everybody will know that you’ve been fucked by Satan. For a good two to three days, none of the brothers will fuck you because they can still smell the scent of Satan’s cum between your legs, even when you’re clothed, and they know better than to try anything. Seriously: Asmo got growled at, Mammon’s arm was nearly mauled one time, and he nearly jumped Belphegor. Even Lucifer doesn’t try anything until Satan’s smell naturally starts to dim.

• You know it’s intense when Lucifer won’t even bother. That’s enough to make Satan’s ego hit the ceiling.

Asmodeus

Based off the Lenneth dildo.

• One would think that a sex demon like Asmo would be well-endowed, but surprisingly, Asmo is the smallest of all the brothers. He’s sitting at 6.5 inches, and although his girth is above average for a human, by demon standards he’s rather average.

• But don’t worry about that, because that shit doesn’t matter. The Avatar of Lust can do things with his cock, so lacking in size in comparison to his brothers does not hinder his confidence whatsoever. He’s gorgeous, and he knows what he’s doing, so why would he be bothered?

• First, let’s establish just how pretty he is. He has a nice, long and pronounced head, and although his shaft is slim, it curves very nicely and can hit some amazing spots, and he’s very textured. He doesn’t have as many ridges as Mammon does at the underside, but Asmo does have a few of them. They’re less scale-like than Mammon and feel more like flesh. The tip is pink and fades into a very light purple at the base.

• What’s the most interesting about Asmo is that he has a lot of… perks. You see, he has extra glands in his system that allows him to secrete fluids similar to pre-cum of various effects during intercourse

• For example, he can secrete a type of pleasure-enhancing aphrodisiac. Doing so will make sure that all of your sweet spots become even more sensitive. The more of the aphrodisiac he secretes, the more sensitive you’ll become, and it can get to a point where it can be so torturous that the slightest puff of air between your legs will have you pulsing and whimpering.

• [AFAB] He loves leaking little drops of his aphrodisiac onto your clit and watch with a sly grin as you cum over and over from the slightest little movement before even getting to the main event. Whether it’s with slow strokes of his fingertips or tongues — yes, he has multiple — or by lightly tapping you with his cock, you’ll be fucked out before you even know what hit you.

• Other things he can do include increasing his or your fertility, but on the flip side, he can also produce a contraceptive liquid, making it safe for him to cum inside of you should it be a potential issue.

• With another type of aphrodisiac, he can make your sex drive go absolutely insane, meaning that you’ll be able to go for multiple earth-shattering orgasms without feeling your energy drop. In fact, the effects are so potent that you’ll be begging for him to make you cum on his cock over and over because ‘Asmo, it hurts, I need to cum so bad.’ He’ll get you so bothered that you’ll feel like you may die if he doesn’t rail you with that pretty cock of his.

• And in general, Asmo has the best technique of all his brothers, so he doesn’t need a monster-sized cock to have you fucked stupid. His cock just seemingly hits all of the right spots so effortlessly, and he’ll make sure that you’ll come crawling back to him after he’s done with you.

• Asmo can and will ruin everybody else for you. You’ll understand one of the core reasons why his fans love him so much.

Beelzebub

Based off the Hunter dildo.

• Oh boy. It's no secret that Beelzebub is a big guy, and yes, the same goes for his cock. The man doesn't even need to be naked or even hard for you to notice the sizable bulge in his pants. It's as if nothing can properly contain him.

• Being the largest of all the brothers — and can rival Diavolo himself — Beel is packing 10.5 inches of thick, heavy cock. Unless you have very large hands, you'll barely be able to wrap both of your hands around him. He really was crafted by God himself — muscular and absolutely blessed in every way possible.

• He's intimidating, that's for sure. Don't worry too much though, Beel is a gentle giant and will take his time making sure you're comfortable, relaxed and properly ready for him. He won't be mad at you if you can't fit all of him, because he's happy to be inside you, even if it's just the tip.

• Mention how big he is compared to you, and you'll have him flustered, because fuck, you look just so cute and tiny. Compare parts of yourself to his cock: your face, your forearms, your hands, etc — the size difference is actually insane, and he's all for it. As gentle as he is, he can't deny that he's eager to see the small, fragile human get destroyed.

• He loves seeing you suck on the tip of his cock, eagerly and desperately trying to fit more of him in your mouth. Watching you struggle just stirs something in his gut.

• Starting at the tip, Beel's cock is a light bronze but fades into a darker brown from the middle all the way down to the base. He's got it all, really — a nicely pointed and slightly curved tip, plates lining the top, curves in all the right places and breathtaking, large bumps lining his frenulum and base.

• He'll make sure that you cum multiple times before he even thinks of sliding inside of you — with his fingers, his mouth and even various dildos, using one larger than the last with every orgasm you have.

• Beel always uses extra lube, but no matter how much he does for you, the stretch is unavoidable. He'll take his time, and admittedly, Beel basks in the way merely entering you has your tongue lolling out and your eyes rolling back.

• He starts slow, but with his size, even with the slowest of thrusts you feel like your insides are getting pulverized, but fuck, he hits all the right spots so well. He's so large and perfectly textured that there's no area getting neglected.

• But when you're properly adjusted and begging him to go harder, you can pay your respects to your legs, because sweet baby Beel is gone, and demon lord Beelzebub is here.

• He'll make you grip the sheets so hard your knuckles will turn white, and you'll either be screaming or struggling to find your breath from the sheer size of him. No in between

• There's always a bulge in your stomach from his cock, and his palm will always be pressed up right against it.

Belphegor

Based off the Chance dildo.

• Belphegor, along with Satan, has one of the more animalistic-looking dicks amongst the brothers and takes the expression of 'having a horse cock' to dangerously literal levels. The first time you were intimate, Belphie was admittedly worried that his anatomy would turn you off, frighten or gross you out. Even for demon standards, Belphie's anatomy was uncommon, so he couldn't even begin to imagine what you — a human — would think.

• Good thing that you're a monster fucker and absolutely fucking drooled when he shed his clothes, huh? That certainly helped his ego.

• Firstly, let’s establish that his cock, from the tip all the way down to his balls, is pitch black, except for a small group of splotches — similar to his cow-like spots on his shoulder — at the middle that are dark purple

• If his twin is the largest, then on the flip side, Belphegor has the most impressive length amongst the seven demon brothers, being a jaw-dropping 12.5 inches which actually makes him bigger than Beelzebub in terms of length. Just looking at the outline of his bulge trailing down his thigh is telling enough of what you're in for.

• If you catch this demon wearing only sweats and no boxers, well... try not to stare between his legs too much. Or do. Belphie doesn't mind. He'll put on a little show for you if he's feeling generous. Or he'll call you out for being a little whore, especially if his brothers are nearby.

• He may not have the most girth, but Belphegor doesn't even need it to make an incoherent mess out of you. You're in for a lot of depth play, and it will take quite the effort for you to take all of him. And honestly? Seeing you squirm and whimpering how 'it's too deep, Belphie,' as he bottoms out? That just makes him harder.

• The tip of his cock is naturally rather wide, but when aroused, it flares and grows in size, and the shape of it will assure that every single little sweet spot of yours gets abused — every single spot, at every angle, over and over again. It's definitely the hardest part of him to fit inside of you, and you may need extra lube and prep to lessen the initial discomfort, but once it's in, and you're properly adjusted, it's a pretty smooth ride.

• He's veiny from top to bottom, and they are prominent, adding all the more texture that will never fail to have you wonderfully fucked out. Add the bulging ring in the middle of his shaft, and you can only imagine the myriad of sensations he'll be providing. So yeah, girth? Doesn't need it.

• Belphie loves having you ride him — whether you're front facing so that he can play with your chest, or in reverse so that he can smack your ass as you bounce, he doesn't care. While this does stem from his laziness, it's also to let you get comfortable at your own pace; taking a monster-length cock can be uncomfortable, so unless you explicitly state you want him to pound into you, he'll let you take him as you please.

• But be warned, if you do ask Belphegor to do so, be prepared to feel his cock rail the deepest parts of you. He’ll push your legs against your chest and fuck you like a sadistic demon in heat. He'll rearrange your insides with no mercy shown unless you yell out a safe word, and he will knock the wind out of you with every single thrust and pull streams of tears from you. That's a promise.

• [AFAB] Although it's not physically possible for a human, Belphie can and will fuck so deep into you that it'll feel like he's gonna breach and breed your womb.

• Now, who wants to get double-stuffed by the twins? Belphie might just share with Beel.

I hope you liked these!

Also, what do you think of Levi’s section? I know some like him with one, and some like him with two. I know I like reading fics with either option, so I said ‘fuck it, I’m grabbing those two HCs, mashing them up together, and this is their love child.’

I struggled the most to find ideas for Satan and Lucifer, but I think they came out alright?

Who’s your favourite? I know my bias tends to come through for Belphie and Levi, so I don’t think I need to say it haha.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

I CAN'T

That's was really good chapter, really good

I can feel that MC was really triggered when Belphie go for attack, body remember everything...

Also, I started to love Asmo, I mean I always love all of them, but no, Asmo plus one favorite, favorite trio😭😭😭😭

THEY'RE DIDN'T HESITATE AND BELIEVE MC, I JUST CAN'T

Sol Is awesome and I'm so glad to be here with him, I always loved him, but I didn't get enough of him, so yeah, win not only for Mammon stan, but for Sol stan, my two precious white haired grandpa

Sol is so protective of MC

That line was so powerful, where he was be like, and you think that I'm not angry? 🤗

I want to know what happened to him, I HOPE WE'LL KNOW, I need more lore, bc he was almost dead and Barb helped him, what the fuck happened between them >_<

Also, fuck you Belphie, NOT HIM TALKING ABOUT HONESTY LOL still my little meow meow

But I really interested...how Beel and Satan would react on that. Want to believe that Satan on our side. I mean, humans didn't get him, pls he's my favorite too....

13 IS MY WIFE AAAHHHHHH

she was so sweet and liked our soul, awwww

And I really feel bad for MC, I love angst for my girl, but... It's hurt. Your family doesn't know you, some of them want to kill you, and you can't make yourself to hurt them because of love, but also cant tell them that you know them and you're family :(

They may be strong in every aspect, but still.

Lucifer is not angry, but more feel betrayed and hurt, I think that's the case :(

Pls let MC get some rest, bc I'm worried bc of that promise 🙂

Also that moment with choosing side...was interesting. I love how Sol so protective of own people and how he wanted to be powerful, now everything makes sense. But a little sad, that it doesn't seem that MC with him on this. MC not attached to the own world, sometimes I feel like that they're doesn't have a place in the world bc they're not exactly human, not demon and not angel, really interesting moment

And have a good day!

Yes!! Yes! Everything you said! You basically summarised all my thoughts!

The Asmo-Levi-Mammon-MC friend group is so wholesome!!!??? I love that the three of them believed MC no questions asked! And Levi, in Nightbringer, before he gets more used to being a demon is so shy??? I want to squeeze him. And Asmo's so sweet!????? They can be mean, obviously, but it's nowhere near what they are like as fully fledged demons

The Solomon backstory and his relationship with both Thirteen & Barbatos was so good! Also Candy!! I'm so glad we got to find out more about her too

Thirteen & Solomon technically being roommates? The fact that Thirteen actually really cares about Solomon!? I'm😭 That Barbatos really cares about him as well🥺

Oh! Oh! Yes Solomon saying the you think I'm not angry line while just 😊 smiling was amazing. Man was fucking livid

He cares about MC so much, and he cares about humanity so much that if it comes to it he would fight viciously against people he has come to consider his friends and he expects MC to be the same. Because Solomon's been without a human friend/companion for so long and he finally found someone like him and he expected them to hold the same views and ideals as him because of course when you ask a human to choose between humanity and demons they'll choose humanity no matter what bond they have with the demons right!? Except MC went haha actually.....lol and then gave the grimoire to Lucifer with 0 hesitation and then promised to protect them & bring happiness to them in a place they were told not to make promises (my bet is it'll make their promise binding and they knew that too right!? Because they spoke about not making promises there twice with Thirteen. and if that's the case that means they knowingly made a binding promise meaning if it comes down to it if there's a war they'll never be on humanity's side) God, Solomon must be devastated

Also the fact that Nightbringer was right about what MC will choose!?

Satan might actually just not pick a side? Like he wouldn't be bothered to go out of his way to help MC the way the other three did, but at the same time if it meant going against Lucifer......

Beel, I'm not sure. Because as of rn MC hasn't had a big bonding moment with Beel and it's just been 1yr since they lost Lilith. He may not hate humans the way Belphie does but I feel like he'll take Belphie's side, the same way he did in that Devilgram where Belphie protested the exchange program

Lucifer was definitely hurt and scared and covering it up with anger

And yeah I get the same feeling that general MC doesn't really have anything in the human world. It's kinda been hinted at in the previous seasons as well and nightbringer might as well have confirmed it during the last lesson

In conclusion,

Let MC take a fucking nap

[kitsune-oji]

could you do obey me boys with a professional volleyball player mc? 💁🏻‍♀️ like they enter at RAD's volleyball team and are absolutely SLAYING or smth like that! i also imagine mc having a very fit body and getting home late bc of the training

Professional Sports Player Mc

I made it a bit more general, changing volleyball to sports because really these hcs could be read with volleyball in mind or another sport entirely. I hope that's ok!

Since you didn't specify, I just went with the brothers for this

Gn! Mc (you/yours)

Lucifer

Lucifer admires the discipline and strength it takes to professionally do sports and honestly, he finds it attractive too

Definitely tries to take the time to go to any matches you have to support you and to watch you in your element

If he sees you winning - against Demons no less - he's so incredibly proud of you and wants everyone to know

Sort of looks like a proud father standing next to you but the way he looks at you reveals his adoration for you very clearly

Makes you lunches to take with you when you train, making sure they are balanced and contain enough protein and fiber to aid you

The only downside he sees is that he has so little time with you. When you come home late, you're very exhausted from your day after all and he's already a busy man himself, so it's quite difficult to get some quality time together

Just means you both need to make a bit more of an effort!

Mammon

Mammon has always been your hype man no. 1 and it's no different in this case

Making you lunches just means peanut butter sandwiches but if you like that (and aren't allergic to peanuts), it's still nice!

He's there for every match you have and watches your training sometimes too if you're ok with it - if not, he wants to pick you up at least though

When you win, Mammon is so loud but his cheers are really cute so you know... He wants you to run into his arms so he can spin you around, please

Shows people videos and pictures of you from one of your matches and gets mad if the person watching it doesn't find you as amazing as Mammon himself does

(they also shouldn't find you too amazing though because then he'll tell them how way out of your league they are and how the Great Mammon is by your side and nobody else-)

Having you coming home late is torture for Mammon but he's either distracting himself by doing things he shouldn't (gambling, scamming, stealing from his brothers, etc) or he's finding ways to be in your presence anyway - aka watch you when you train

Leviathan

He's the very best stan, thank you very much!

For you, he even braves going into the hell that is sports obsessed normies to watch your matches

Cheering you on is an art form and Leviathan has perfected it. He wears your or your teams colors, has your name written on his face, has a chant, a sign, a- you know the drill

Makes you the cutest bento lunches with encouraging notes and a lot of love in them

He gets so insecure and thus jealous of anyone trying to get close, especially if they're not just a fan but someone who plays the same sport as you. "What if having the same passion makes you like them better than some shut in weirdo like him?" his brain tries to tell him

Levi idealises you a bit too much but we knew that already. It's just maybe a bit more obvious that you're basically one of his idols that he actually gets close enough to to touch

Having you come home late sometimes makes his thoughts run wild, even if he knows you have training that day - he just can't help it but distracting himself until you come home works most of the time when he isn't so immersed in his game or show that he forgets the time anyway

Satan

Sports aren't really his thing but... You're doing it, so it's still interesting to him

Wants to know everything about your sport and even tries to give you advice. You may have to stop him right there because you are a professional... Unless maybe he does actually have one or two good points. Maybe he'd be worth listening to at least?

Second place for cute lunches, usually cat themed in some way but definitely nutritious too! He wants to aid you where he can

Of course he's there for your matches, how could he not? His cheers are a bit more quiet but he won't let you question how much he supports you and your passion

Seeing you happy and panting from exertion does something to him, to his heart. It takes him a while to realise that it's love for you that he feels

The fact that you come home late makes him sad sometimes but he knows that your training is important and he tries to suggest some things to do together that don't take a lot of energy - like reading aloud for you to listen to while you lay your head on his lap

Asmodeus

Asmodeus loves how fit you are because of your profession and he makes it abundantly clear as well

Next to outright telling you how hot he finds it how passionate you are, the way he takes the time out of his day to watch you practice (if you allow it) says lore than enough

Your teammates tease you about how obviously interested Asmodeus is in you, though there are also those that are jealous of you... Oh well

Asmo likes to doll himself up in a cheerleader outfit and do a little dance to cheer you on in matches. While he does take away a lot of attention from the actual game, he is very cute

Don't let him make lunches for you. The demon manages to blow the kitchen up trying to make bread, who knows what will happen if he tries to make you a lunch box?

In days when he can't watch you train or if you don't let him, Asmo has no qualms letting you know how lonely he was without you. Clinging to you and whining and telling you that you have to make it up to him

He's pretty easy to appease though, so it's not too bad

Beelzebub

Beelzebub is so happy to have someone else there who also loves to do sports. You may not do the same sport but you can still train your bodies together, if you want to

Going to the gym with Beel is nice, all in all. You get a nice view if you're into that and Beel will help you if you've never been to the gym before

Even if you have, you can still help each other, correct the other's form or spot each other

He will make sure to attend each and every one of your matches and is right there when you cheer because you won or need some comfort because you lost. Beel also asks you to come watch his matches as well

Beel is an amazing cook, so lunches from him are very nice... If he manages to make one, that is. Either way he wants to eat together with you

Having you come home late can make Beel upset sometimes because he misses your company but he's pretty good at keeping himself busy until you're back. If he's a bit more clingy than usual...well, who's gonna complain?

Belphegor

You do a sport? What, professionally even? Damn, he could never

But we knew that already. Belphie yawns at the mere mention of such physical activity and he admires the way you and Beel do so much of it and enjoy it too

Sure he will come to your matches too. Though he may not be able to pay attention the whole time, he still makes an effort to be there to show his support

More importantly, Belphie makes sure that you don't overdo it and helps you get the rest you need to start the next day fit as a daisy

When you're gone for a long time, Belphie either doesn't notice because he had been sleeping or he wakes up and notices and then he gets cranky

You know how he gets... Demanding your attention and being unhappy over the fact you weren't there when he woke up. A little bit of affection and an apology is enough to make him forget his bad mood though

[extravagantliar]

REPOST AND LIST 6 SONGS THAT INSPIRE YOU TO WRITE YOUR MUSE:

do better - say anything

Your life is always the post of something else / Where's the present? The way that you present yourself / And it's disgusting how little that you try / The existential equivalent of pink eye / Drink alone and watch TV / You're expecting harmonies /To tap your tune with silver spoons / The anthem of impending doom / Guiding Satan's steady hand / Forcing Beatles to disband /It's eco-freaks and drama queens / The young at heart know what I mean

i'm not calling you a liar - florence & the machine

I'm not calling you a liar / Just don't lie to me / I'm not calling you a thief / Just don't steal from me / I'm not calling you a ghost / Just stop haunting me /And I love you so much / I'm gonna let you / Kill me

as it was - prep ( a harry styles cover )

Seems you cannot be replaced / And I'm the one who will stay / oh In this world, it's just us / You know it's not the same as it was / In this world, it's just us / You know it's not the same as it was / As it was / You know it's not the same

pale white horse - the oh hellos

It was a pale white horse / With a crooked smile / And I knew it was my time / It was the raging storm of a foreign war / And a face I'd seen before

what's the use? - mac miller

All the way in with no exit plan / Already left and the jet don't land / Yeah, the time is ticking / Come take a ride, get inside, this is highly different / I'm talking fly, got the pilot with me / Can I mind my business? / Why you trippin'? / Give you somethin' that your eyes can witness / Ooh, too close / I don't understand why you doing the most

non stop - hamilton original broadway cast

Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room? / Soon that attitude may be your doom / Why do you write like you're running out of time? / Write day and night like you're running out of time? /Everyday you fight, like you're running out of time / Keep on fighting in the meantime / Non-stop

honorable mentions ( some are scores ):

northwest passage - stan rogers hey look ma I made it - panic! at the disco can you hear the music? - ludwig göransson thumbnail - louie zong & brian david gilbert he sleeps - james newton howard and macro velocci I'm a wanted man - royal deluxe

& LIST 6 QUOTES THAT INSPIRE YOU TO WRITE YOUR MUSE:

I am not a brave man. I believe I am starting to come to terms with that fact, but I am, in certain circumstances, a very stubborn one. - the magnus archives

People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us... It's people who claim that they're good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of. - gregory magurie - wicked

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. - nelson mandela

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past - f scott fitzgerald - the great gatsby

What is a champion? For me, I don't know when I was finally smart enough to understand this, but for me now, it's got less to do with gloves on your hand and how hard a punch you can take, than how great of endurance you have, both emotionally, psychologically, and physical endurance. - teddy atlas

I have read my books by many lights, hoarding their beauty, their wit or wisdom against the dark days when I would have no book, nor a place to read. I have known hunger of the belly kind many times over, but I have known a worse hunger: the need to know and to learn - louis l'amour

tagged by @hoboblaidd

tagging. everyone has done it so - @extravagantrook you're up.

[jazeswhbhaven]

At Summer's End, September Begins <3

(lmao at my fucking crappy quality thing I made)

Welcome to Fall, ya'll!

I know there's some new folks here so as per each monthly update here at some housekeeping rules:

It's chill here, but I don't tolerate any kind of foolishness including but not limited to: racism/homophobia/zoos/p3dos/harassment. If I catch you doin' something weird like that on the low, expect a block from me.

Requests are slow, so feel free to send 'em but it could take me a while to get to it. Please don't rush me <3

Don't bring your beef with another specific user in my inbox to indirectly call them out. I'm not a mediator.

Opinions about the game negative and positive are welcome here. I believe in folks venting. Also understand though that I may not answer it depending on my mood. I also have opinions of my own so very fair warning if you do want my honest input.

No minors interacting with any posts of mine on this blog. WHB is not only an adult game, but I cuss a lot and make a lot of inappropriate thirsts posts so this space ain't for ya'll sorry.

What's Happening This Month for My Blog??

Well, lmao. I kind of forgot my goals for last month because my blog was interrupted by being shadowbanned for a few days so it really threw me off. But here's what to loosely expect this month!

More Inbox Requests being posted

Reacts for: Michael's Christmas Story | 5 Kings Card | Recap React of Mammon's origin story

More sketches of Cain, for the love of fucking hell if I can sketch out a full body of Astra for ya'll I will

That's pretty much it??? I know I have to work on my Masterlist and organize it but for now it's very WIP. I also expect that there's a Gehenna Event coming up because we got the new boi Amy showin' up like he did. I mean that should be good since a lot of Satan stans have been missin' their man (Astra too, she's been in Niflheim and Tartaros a lot in my fic blurbs)

Am I really gonna go for Zagan's future L-card?

Yes. Unless it doesn't look like it would be worth it. I would hate it if my money were wasted on a subpar story and experience. I'm callin' it but I bet they'll do that evolve thing for him (maybe) unless they only do those for revivals?

A Little Shoutout for ya'll! <3

I just want to say I'm very appreciative for all the interactions, follows, my moots, oomfs, and enjoying me enjoying this rollarcoaster of a damn horni demon game. We're nearly close to the anniversary of it's release and there's been a lot that's happened so far. I pretty much shit on fandoms a bunch because I haven't really uh...had a good experience majority of the time, but it's been alright here. I may be speaking too soon because there's always something ain't it? Lol But at any rate, ya'll are lovely, creative, and I'm glad to be included.

Thank you for dealing with me and my crazy, your lovely admin~ ♡( •ॢ◡-ॢ)✧˖° ♡ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

[chaifootsteps]

Oh sweet Satan, wtf with the transphobic shit that just surfaced?

I'm genuinely concerned about those comments, tbh, but given that you're already used to them, I guess it's not a big biggie...?

Also, I heard about you "doubling-down" on bestiality / transphobia from other people, and these other people weren't Viv stans, the bestiality coming from your written works featuring animals or something and transphobia due to whatever the fuck is happening with Arcee and misgendering someone... or so I heard.

Idk man, I'm utterly confused at this point, but I would love to get a lengthy response from you to clarify.

— Instagram!Stolas Anon

They might be referring to a fic I wrote where this guy has sex with one of these, and it's not portrayed as a good thing and also I got paid to write it.

If Viv stans would like to start paying my bills, thus eliminating my need to write fics where one alien Muppet screws another, they are free to do that.

The Arcee stuff is here.

[gaz-oline]

SATAN’S S/O WHO’S ALLERGIC TO CATS

note: im allergic to cats too (and dogs aswell, a luci chapt on this w dog shall be awaited) and im a big satan(and lucifer) stan sooo i thought it’d be fun to write this :•

edit: this was kinda lame ngl HAHHAHA hope u enjoy

this man, at first he’d be so shocked offended when he found out (before u guys were dating)

he would have probably tried to avoid you at some point

But when during his character arc (lesson 10-11 ish?) he started to empathize with your situation and that it isn’t your fault

Hanging out could get difficult

���i see… then we’ll have to change plans..”

“W-wait no it’s fine really!”

“ I insist”

you’re sneezing all over the place. Every goddamn time he came from a cat cafe.

Walking home from RAD together, he comes across a BOX OF KITTENS.

“Are those kittens? In a box? Who’d leave such precious creatures behind? And in such a small and worn out box too.”

He goes up to the box and literally scoops them all up to carry them all

While he was playing with all those kitties u were just standing there like ‘bitch i cant play with the cats with you are fkin fr rn’

Satan notices this and apologizes then tries to come close to hug you

The key word was tried, your eyes started watering and you started to sneeze and try to sneeze (that struggle to sneeze but you cant do it last minute, ugh my eyes start to bring out a pool worth of tears

He always. ALWAYS. Bring tissues and some medicine with him at all times.

There was one time too Satan made his trained cats scratch Lucifer and his study, you were surprised when you enter Lucifer’s study to pass your tasks to be welcomed by that fuzzy, itchy feeling in your nose and your eyes felt like swelling

Lucifer was deep cleaning his study because he knew you had tasks due that day😭

“My apologies MC, it seems that Satan had brought cats in here earlier today to scratch me. Just leave the papers there.”

Poor guy and you

one of the hardest parts of dating him, he’d come home after playing or tending cats in the streets. And you? Pass the tissues you dont even feel safe from sneezing in his room.

He genuinely tries to hold back from even coming close to a cat now, since he would be probably taking u out on a date, want to cuddle, or anything when it came to bonding with you really. But cats. Cats!

Its the only thing keeping you both apartt~

Honestly at some point he’d get upset and conflicted then just gets a book and tries to find a spell for u allergies to go bye bye

Wrong move, it got kinda worse

So now you’re both sad and miserable

Once your allergies got so bad ur face swelled after he came from a animal shelter

You guys stayed in your rooms but texted/called

“Satan, what are you doing right now?”

“Im reading a book of spells about allergies, dont worry MC once i can put out your allergy we wont have this problem anymore—“

“Hey! Remember the last time you did that?!”

In weekdays, you guys hang out as muuuuch as possible and you secretly hope from within that you both dont pass by a cat so he does not get you sneezin all over the place again

He once passed u a sticky note in class, you opened it and saw cute doodles of cats, just to play with him you draw yourself in a chibi version, sneezing and suffering from allergies

Once you gave the sticky note back to him, he smiled abit at your drawing and realized what it meant

He glares at you, and pulls you by your chair and side hugs you

“Would you look at that MC, no sneezing or such?”

He is smug and proud

“Haha then after recess you go tend to that box of kittens you found at the west tower of the office”

“…” “…okay..” “wait mc—“

[king-of-wrath]

Satan rolled his eyes. "You seeing this shit, Steve?" he asked his personal assistant, pointing to the gigantic stadium-sized TV in his throne room.

"...Respectfully, Your Wrathfulness: what 'shit', specifically?"

"These knee-jerk reactionary crybabies bitching and moaning about the opening ceremony for the Summer Olympics!" the Sin began to explain before launching into vicious mockery.

"'OWO, SO SATANIC! AN AFFRONT TO CHRISTENDOM, UWU! WHO AWWOWED SUCH A BWASPHEMOUS CEREMONY TO TAKE PWACE? HOW CAN THE WORLD COME TOGETHER IN THE SPIWIT OF SPORTSMANSHIP WITH SUCH DIVISIVE ANTI-CWISTIAN WHETORIC SHOVED DOWN OUR THWOATS, UWUUU~'"

"First of all, I had NOTHING to do with this. I did not put Lady Gaga and a bunch of drag performers up to this, I did not give this ceremony my blessing, none of my cultists were involved on any level and not a single fucking pentagram or 'Hail Satan' can be found on that stage. Where in yon fuck are these humans getting 'Satanic' vibes?"

"Secondly, PULL YOUR HEADS OUT FROM THINE CAVERNOUS ASSES AND TAKE A WHIFF OF FRESH AIR! Not everything is about you! Nothing about what happened on stage was about you! What they performed was 'the Feast of Dionysus'. Anyone calling it 'The Last Supper' is not only factually wrong, but grossly uncultured swine."

"Third and MOST importantly: Christ-stans, you are NOT the 'poor widdle uwu so oppwessed' demographic anymore! You haven't been the minority since the fucking Council of Nikea---which was, -knock knock- Hellooo~, 1700 YEARS AGO! In a global population of 8 billion, your religion comprises over 2.2 billion. Add your Abrahamic cousins and you outnumber Hindus and Bhuddists combined."

"You are not being crucified. You are not being thrown to lions as food. You are not being immolated as human tiki torches for monarchs' garden parties. You are not getting dragged outside your homes and told 'renounce Jesús' or die. Your churches and monasteries aren't being looted by Vikings."

"Every developed suburb has at least one local church per square mile, at minimum. For a lot of the Western world, you got as many churches as McDonald's and Starbucks locations---denominations aplenty! You even have hundreds of channels devoted to providing sermons on the hour, if you somehow can't reach any of God's houses."

"But go ahead: keep on bitching and moaning about people not doing exactly what you want. Keep hating anyone different. Keep throwing your children under the bus because they want to do more than dance to your little tune forever. Keep trying to outlaw what you don't like or understand. Keep trying to transform public schools into churches. Keep telling young women 'Don't go to college, get a man'. That'll definitely put asses in the pews!"

[t4tclip]

I forgot to put it there earlier, but I did a little comprasion of a first polish South Park dub of "Damien" with the original one, I hope y'all gonna to like it!!

The text of the intro is quite different

The guy singing never refers to South Park by name and instead refers to it as just south

Singer: I'm going down the South Park gonna have myself a time - - >  Come brother to the South to have a nice time

Kyle and Stan: Humble folks without temtpation --> You'll be be welcome by lack of dairy

Cartman: Ample parking day or night people spouting howdy neighbor - - >  Come on boy and park where you want even if you were an alien (I know it's most likely a coincidence but I like the reference to aliens in first episode)

Kenny's lines are just gibberish, kinda sad bc of that because he sounds cute

Cartman calls Kevin Stoley Mark???

Name Damien changes to Damian 

Poofie pie is changed to butter buns or something like that, I wasn't able to hear Cartman well in that part

Pip's real name gets changed to Peter for some reason???

Pip's right-o get changed to alrighty (I love how he says it in the dub)

The boys straight up calls Damiens mum a bitch

Kyle calls Damien fucked up freak (it sounds better when it's actually in polish tho 🤌🤌popieprzony wykręt🤌🤌)

Chef calls Damien piece of damn devil and I actually like it a bit more than the og 

Not translation related: Polish voice actor of Satan actually speaks his lines in Latin and I thought it was cool

Father Maxi adds ,,hallelujah" after talking about how Jesus is gonna kick Satans ass and I don't know I thought it was nice 

Satan: Prepare to enter the house of pain -->  Prepare yourself for atmistique molestation

Stan: holy shit this man is huge - - > Oh damn dude what huge piece of shit

Satan: I have such delightful horrors to unleash upon thee - - > Your virgin blood will thicken inside your veins

Mr Mackey doesn't use ,,M'kay?" like at all

Mr Mackey tells Damien to be nice, open and assertive instead of being overly nice and passive, I personally don't like that change because it doesn't make much sense in the context of episode

Mr Mackey calls Pip french for some reason

Cartman calls Damien a little whore

Fartboy get changed to piard which I guess can be translated to fiart

Pip tells that he hopes that other kids would stop pick on him since kids starts to pick on Damien 

Let's begin to rumble gets changed to lets begin the scuffle (again it sounds better in polish, rozpierducha my beloved)

 Not translation related but Pip sounds like genuinely psysically hurt after Damien blows him off and I'm just :[[[

 Jesus calls God ,,Stary" which is like slangy, non cultural way of saying father 

Jezus; I'm all forsook - - > It's so bad

Kyle: You bastards!! - - > You motherfuckers!!

Liane proposes Cartman more pie instead of cake

It was pretty fun to do and I'm maybe gonna do some more of these

[billkaulitzwife]

CAN YOU DO MORE HEADCANNONS ON PONYBOY???

HEY KURT AND YEA OFC!!

okay imma do sfw and nsfw bc.... well kurt ik you.

warnings!

swearing, nsfw, mention of sêx, idk what else...

Now playing: your favourite dress

rip lil peep. we (i) miss u.

SFW :))

Dates.

This man loves dates.

He'd always take you to whatever movies you'd like or anything paul mcfuckin newman😃

This kid has a death wish

Like he'll obliterate ANY soc last dares put his eyes on you

He loves when you play with his hair and pull him into kisses by the tufts of hair on his neck

Pony really likes kisses

LIKE

PLEASE KISS THIS MANS FACE

TELL HIM HES PRETTY

HE WILL MELT

He seems like if Johnny didn't die he'd be a silver guy, but after he was always gold.

luckily im my au johnny is well and alive

bobs js.

dead.

BUT

Pony is so in love with you he pushes SHERRY MCFUCKING VALENCE away

Ever since y'all got together, Soda would be really protective of not js him

but you.

like you grew on him.

ur his sibling in law

Pony felt really happy Soda and Darry accepted you so quick

You were in the gang anyways.

Pony blushes when you kiss him

Like over text this man is so bold

"Hey Y/N i miss your pretty face"

"kicking my legs"

"Y/N you shld come over my brothers arent home"

but irl hes like

too tense

he doesnt wanna like hurt you or make you uncomfortable

but he still yk made a move

When you asked him out (or he asked you) his hands were sweatier than Satan's ballsack dude.

Like???

hyperhidrosis who?

He gets nervous when y'all kiss

he feels like if he just went for it he'd faceplant into you

ykwim babes?

yea... yea you do cutie

ik yall love me.

hes defo a lil peep stan

he loves idk how to say it but like calling you nicknames that dont fucking correlate to ur name

like my friend calls her boyfriend applesauce and i feel pony would call you like...

tuna

(if u cant tell im tired)

he loves when you get along with addi(me)

he'd probably love motionless in white if he was a metalhead

but he defo like Elvis, The Crests, Beach Boys, etc.

HE WOULD HATE THE MINIONS MOVIES

IDK WHY HE JUST WOULD

his fav princess would be Ariel

im not sure why

he'd js be like "ugh im so her"

Like.

Ponyboy

Michael

Curtis

get yo shi together

he definitely smells like cigs and lavender old spice

hes a sucker

his favourite flavour anything is grape or banana.

NSFW >:)

he's a sucker for braiding ur hair (if its long) or just tugging on it in general

motherclucker knows your weak spots on ur neck and stomach

this man wld mess up ur makeup

ofc he believes in aftercare unlike

*cough cough* dallas *cough cough*

hes a praise guy. hates degrading you.

pony would probably do the "bop it" position

js like ol dally taught him😋

he loves boobs.😋

like when youre getting undressed this man is like baffled

"whatd you get on the scie- woah.😍"

"they looked at me first, Y/N."

He loves sluttying (is that a word) up your nickname

Like for example

with my name, addi, he'd probably get in my ear and whine it

but thats my brother.

so

ANYWAYS

he loves being called puppy

or even you js sayin pony

hes like a switch

turned on

im so severely tired and dehydrated.

okay bye i love u all goldens 🫶

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #36 - Rerun Monday #2

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction, posted daily. Since I want to start writing new chapters of Dominic of the Darkness as Brain Curds, here is the never-before-released second chapter. Please enjoy.

Dominic entered the throne room. He was used to seeing disturbing things in here, but this one took the cake. It was a BDSM session between a Jewish dominatrix and a Nazi, and it was clearly not done out of affection.

He waited by the side of the room, hoping it might end any minute, but the violence continued to escalate alongside the Prince of Darkness’ laughter. It went on for hours, maybe days (time was funky in Hell) until finally the dominatrix got bored and apparated back to Heaven. At least, Dominic figured that was where she was going.

The Nazi was removed from the room by four demons with five shovels, who exited in single file with their piles of undulating flesh. The man would have to reform in The Pit - as if today hadn’t already been bad enough for him.

Now, contrary to popular understanding, the Prince of Darkness did not go by the name ‘Satan’. It was a typographical error, caused by an ancient monk with dyslexia. No, the source of all evil was not known as ‘Satan’ down in the bowels of Hell, all the demons knew him by another name: Stan.

If you were wondering why he’s called the ‘Prince’ rather than the ‘King’, the answer to that is simple: he thought it made him sound younger.

Dominic approached his post in the throne room, as he did every day, on the high chair next to his father.

“Ah, my boy!” Stan said. “I didn’t see you there!”

“That was on purpose,” Dominic muttered, knowing his father was barely paying any attention.

“Take a seat! Another show is about to begin!” He turned his voice to the sycophants around him. “Get my son a plate, you jagoffs! He’s gotta be hungry by now!”

The demons scrambled to find a plate, but they were all dirty - not a problem for the average resident of Hell, but Dominic had higher standards. Most of Hell’s catering staff referred to him as “Princess Boy” as a sign of disrespect. He didn’t like it, but couldn’t come up with an adequate punishment. Eternal hellfire was too harsh, but probation felt like it would probably just encourage them.

A short, pinkish demon resentfully handed him a still-dripping plate. “Here you go, Princess Boy.”

Dominic pretended not to notice. In front of him and his father was a table covered in an absurdly massive spread that would have made Henry VIII blush - in fact, at times it had (his time in Hell made him much less plump). Despite Stan’s insistence, Dominic was not actually particularly hungry, and he couldn’t come up with a technique for getting the last scraps from the goat carcass anyway.

“Dad, about my birthday…”

“Birthday? Oh, for Pete’s sake! How old are you now?”

“Six-hundred and sixty-six.”

“No!”

“Yes.”

“There’s no way you’re that old, son, I remember the night I knocked up your mother like it was last Tuesday.”

“Technically, it was, since you declared Tuesdays illegal that weekend.”

“Now how would you know that if you weren’t born yet?”

“I read books, Dad.”

“Whatever. What do you want?”

“I want my overnight pass for Earth.”

“What the heck do you need that for?”

“It’s tradition, isn’t it? For me to go live on the surface and see what life is like?”

“You’ve been up there before. What’s so special about it? Anything you can get up there, I can get for you down here. The demons can make anything!”

“Dad…”

“I’ll even ask them not to spit in it! They’ll still spit in it a little, but you won’t even taste it!”

“I need to spread my fallen angel wings,” Dominic replied, standing his ground (metaphorically, because as you may recall, he sat down just a moment ago). “Don’t make this difficult.”

“Alright, well… if you’re going up there, you should probably know something. Your mother was a living human…”

“Right, yeah, I know.”

“… And she’s still alive.”

Dominic was in shock. “You said she was in a better place!”

“Every living person is, Dominic, we’re in Hell. Plus, I’m a liar.”

“What exactly am I supposed to do with this information?”

“I don’t know, what am I, a librarian? Go find her, or don’t, or whatever. It’s your age to come-of. Now let’s eat already.”

[the-gasp-at-the-gateway]

Not Your Parasocial's LOA

Hot Take. Sure, it's no secret LOA girls are all about glamour, hedonism, and utter self-love (I love it too). But imo, Goddard's kinda like cheap liquor on your 21st birthday: gratifying, limitless, and confidence-boosting, for a time (so long as you keep the party going, and keep yourself from thinking too much). My man Alan Watts though—he's got fine bourbon in his cabinet, and him and his friends are the type to make sure you also drink some water. Lemme unpack that.

If you're an Old Soul, a Highly Sensitive Person, or a high-achieving kid who ever really burnt out—you know the real shadowy depths of consciousness, cause you've not only seen some real shit, but felt it. In the words of the great Queen Bee siren from Nevermore Academy: "Fire tests gold. Suffering tests a woman." And Wednesday gets it too, she knows you aren't truly you if you don't embrace the Dark; you're a normie, by the def that normies are those who are too scared to let out their nature. It's not all rainbows and Versace.

It's the Way. It's the Yin and the Yang. The two fish swimming together—Red Oni, Blue Oni. Pisces and the 12th House. Transcendence. At some point, you might find yourself growing out of just being a Princess—you're becoming a Queen. That word gets thrown around. I don't mean it in the "You Go, Girl," sense.

I mean how a Queen really does: Ascension, crown chakra, and the knowing that with cosmic power comes cosmic responsibility. Not that she's your friendly neighborhood Spiderman; a Queen knows she is her realm, and her realm is she. That's Everything Is You Pushed Out. So yeah, it's responsibility—ultimately to the You. And even if she tries to ignore it, unlike a Princess, the Queen can't. Just ask Marie.

LOA Princesses talk up Goddard, and I get it, Goddard's about getting what you Want, not what you Need. It's a real Blue Pill energy (don't @ me, the Matrix was written by trans women who understand eastern philosophical principles and also said "throw away your anti-psychotics"—how's that for being Delusional? Also, a lot of those redditors are 🥚s anyway).

But Goddard had help remembering what he knew. Alan Watts spoke on topics way beyond manifesting and self-concept (and I'll be damned if he isn't a charming and magnificent motherfucker who truly sees the whole picture—seriously, listen to him, you'll love him instantly. He's got this trans-atlantic accent and everything).

So why compare them? Well, if you're an Old Soul, and you're ascending to that crown—call it your Saturn Return or your Dark Night if you will (it's a right bitch either way)—it means, like Inanna the Sky Queen of Sumer, you might find yourself walking straight into Hell and giving up all those pretty things you Manifested with your super awesome powers, and you're not gonna know who the hell you are anymore (good). Has the Caterpillar ever asked you, Who Are You? Like, a lot? Maybe you'll tell him your name. Maybe you'll say, "God." Like Perfect Blue, maybe you'll say, "Why should I care who I Am?"

If Goddard stops being enough for you—like Siddhartha, if the palace life stops satisfying your Beast; if your Heart's bogged down by bootstrapsian toxic positivity and your Mind craves more—listen to Watts. (And, maybe go on a wild-ass bender into your own psyche like Jung did in his Red and Black books, that sounds pretty fun).

For who'd benefit to hear my Journey or w/e (or anyone who suspects sour grapes and wants credentials): I transitioned in 2010 (before it was cool), picked up a Satanic Bible where I learned "Be Your Own God," then became an absolute sex bomb succubus who'd work a whole house party and have people lining up to wrap themselves around my finger—often, I'd make them compete with each other, just for my amusement. Yeah, I stan Marina and I went Golddigger; I manifested the Space Needle into my backyard (basically), ate steak dinners and dined out on the reg, and sometimes would drop hundreds of dollars in a shopping trip just on clothes alone. My cosmetic procedures were all paid for. In the past eleven years, I've probably worked about a year's worth, tops, because I haven't needed to. I won't get into the supernatural-miracle type shit, cause that's a post of its own.

If I'd discovered Goddard back then, he'd probably have been the same amount of helpful. But I'm at a different stage rn, and the methods I've read on tumblr just haven't cut it. Maybe they haven't for you either. Hope these resources help.

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

ughh ty for ur amazing tags it was so disgusting how they were 1. telling on themselves claiming poc and fat people aren't attractive and 2. wishing racism and body shaming on an actor in the name of justice(??). not that im surprised anyway their crowd was the one that demonized lucas and ignored caleb for years. one of my favorite characters is patrick and he wasn't allowed even a nightmare sequence he was just forgotten by the narrative and brushed off. a Black victim of abuse not even given a voice, just forcibly suppressed and used to move the plot along to fuel jason's satanic bullshit. he is ignored by the large majority of the fandom that focuses all their attention on white boy of the week but think hating billy is enough to compensate for their favouritism and racism. i hate how poc are treated in this show but its not enough for ppl to just direct all their performative criticism on a character they want actual racist harassment directed at them too. so disgusting.

i don't normally beef on the internet (i much prefer throwing hands irl actually, but ppl seem to enjoy hiding their shit behind a screen lol), but i really did such a hard double take at those tags.

i really can't fathom tearing down another character because your fav gets shit. i fully understand that characters like lucas and argyle don't get a lot of attention and that's likely a combination of a) the duffer's own bias sidelining those characters, and b) fans' bias in ignoring poc. that doesn't mean i'm gonna throw hands with your average eddie or steve stan or whatever, i don't find that productive. i'd rather engage with fans that already enjoy my fav or are open to consuming content about them and encourage (in this long winded example) eddie stans to enjoy argyle content without making them feel guilty about their blorbo.

same goes for every time i see someone thinking that if they kick down billy it will elevate nancy or lucas or max or eddie or steve. it's petty, it doesn't work, and the only things that result from it are a) an echo chambers where all your fellow salty mutuals will yes man you, or b) ppl who like what you just talked shit about are gonna roll up asking what your damage is. lo and behold.

even putting all of the dumb nancy vs billy nonsense aside (and for the record i think the duffers badly wrote both characters in different ways), those fucking tags were just. SUCH an accidental slip reveal of what that person really thinks. i don't think they're a horrible person or whatever but they're definitely a dick and think that as long as they hate the right character they're correct and good.

like you said, wishing bigotry on a person/character just because you don't like them is a weird fucking thing to say. at that point i barely care what the context of the post was. can you imagine saying that out loud in a room full of fat ppl/poc? i don't think any of them are gonna come to the conclusion that you mean it as a roundabouts insult against a popular hot white actor/character and go 'oh yes haha you're so right i totally think fans hating him for being brown/fat is preferable'. i personally would have torn down whoever said that shit to me irl, that's some white ass performative activism i don't have time for, but it seems like ppl don't think about how the shit they say would sound out loud irl to the very ppl they seem to be trying to support

nevermind that any given piece of billy fanfiction and an awful lot of fanart explores the trauma billy has gone through more than it goes 'ah yes blonde boy hot'. we can have tho conversations without being pricks saying shit in bad faith about it. like, most billy fans i see are huge fans of patrick and mourn his lost potential. because we know how the duffers treat their abused characters.

this shit isn't a contest, but often the shit you say about a character affects ppl who are similar to/identity with that character. if in your pursuit to hate and spit about a character, you say shitty things that make poc, fat ppl, abuse victims, etc., feel like you're insulting them or just using them as props for your wokeness, then you need to take a step back and ask yourself if maybe you needa chill and reevaluate what you're doing. it's not a good look, and neither is the mindset that revenge and punitive 'justice' should be prioritized above healing, growth, and connection.

(like c'mon we can redeem fictional war criminals but we can't let an 18 year old being abused by his dad work through his racial biases? like the latter isn't a much more common situation that happens irl to real abused teens with bigoted parents? alright)

anyway, i'm glad you appreciated my tag rambles, i really was just word vomiting in a fury lol

if you love patrick and enjoy the idea of patrick and billy interacting, i have a # patrick mcckinley tag and a # kingr*ve tag for each respectively (i lump all my patrick and billy stuff under their ship whether platonic or romantic bc patrick stuff is scarce enough as it is). cheers!