#sassy snape

[394halfbloodprince]

*2 year old Severus bringing a ‘potion’ of dead bugs, worms, random sticks, mud, leaves, dirt, etc. that he found outside and mixed together to his mother*

Eileen: …

Seveurs: mother don’t just stare at it. Eat it.

[the-most-faithful]

This is so Snape coded xD

I love Snape because he's just constantly making jokes for HIMSELF. Like these kids have no clue what he's going on about he's just being sassy as fuck for his own amusement like-

Snape: lmao Umbridge you dumb fuck *bows ironically* you are so stupid *peace sign* I hope these kids kill u *moonwalks out the door*

[moonychildxd]

That one moment in The Halfblood Prince book when snape treats Wormtail like a slave lives rent free in my head.

[severussnapemylove]

(Sometime at Hogwarts in the 1970s)

Severus; "FIGHT ME, YOU BITCH ASS BASTARD!"

Lucius; "At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone."

Severus; "Oh, I'm sorry, I should ask: dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?"

Lucius; "Somehow that's worse."

[grimmauldplacepublishing]

Azoth by Zeitgeistic

Very excited and nervous to start sharing my binds online but here is my first post! I've known I wanted to bind Azoth since I first read it ages ago so I'm glad I've finally gotten here. To be clear, this is NOT my first bind, it's actually my tenth.

This bind had a lot of firsts for me.

First cardstock cover

First foiled cover

First edge coloring

First sewn endbands with metallic thread

First cloth spine

There are of course mistakes but overall I'm quite proud of this one!

I did the typeset myself which took the longest as it's one of the more detailed typesets I've done and wanted to make sure it was done well.

The cover was done with toner reactive foil and turned out far better then I could have hoped. The cut out I did by hand and then glued the portrait of Snape on the back side.

Endpapers are from a paper pack from Michaels but I think they fit the theme very well.

[dranna]

“Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed.”

Because it’s clearly black and very dark shades of green. Obviously.

more experimenting doodle 💅✨it’s been a while since I draw something very silly~

~commissions open | links ~

[discoveredreality]

severus snape was such a slay, and the amount of *sass* in his walk and the way his robes flew out behind him... omg. like literally stop with all the snape bashing, i won't be listening.

[lilithofpenandbook]

The door to Minerva McGonagall's study opened. She knew without lifting her eyes who it was, so she kept them firmly on her paperwork.

Severus Snape, on the other hand, shut the door, proceeded to almost skip to the desk, and promptly hopped on and perched on the end.

She still ignored him.

He lowered his head all the way down until he was practically touching her forehead. Her eyes rolled up to meet his. He had a little grin on his face, one that didn't disappear at the steel in her eyes. Instead it seemed to increase. "Alright, mum?"

"What do you want?" she sighed.

"What, a man can't pay a visit to his old friend?" Severus tutted, shaking his head. "And here I thought you loved me."

"I loath you, if that's what you mean," she retorted wryly. Severus's eyes widened and he put a hand on his chest.

"Oh, I'm simply wounded, mother! See, my heart, it is completely and utterly torn in pieces!"

"Yer heart's on the left side, you overgrown sausage."

Severus quickly moved his hand. "Well, I could feel the pain over there due to the heavy impact of the pain," he improvised.

"Oh, aye?"

"Aye, that's the truth."

"Didn't know yer sneaky, sly little silver tongue could speak the truth!"

"Here, just 'cause I convinced the Headmaster that you were the one who ate his cake, it d'nt mean you have to still be mad at me!"

Minerva sipped her tea, and looked at the overgrown gangly child grown man of 32 years who was still sat on her desk. "Are you going tae leave me in peace, laddie? Or d'ye need me tae give ye a sweetie like yer a wee firstie wanting his mummy?"

Severus's eyes went wide once again. "Bloody hell, mum's on the warpath."

"Did ye have a purpose fer interrupting me work or not?" she demanded.

"I did!" Severus looked insulted.

"Then what?! Out with it, boy!"

Severus's dark eyes met her. They remained fixed on her eyes. His hand reached out, and batted her tea cup, toppling it onto its side. Still maintaining the eye contact, he slipped off her desk, and walked backwards to the door.

"What...?" she gaped at him.

Severus saluted, eyes still fixed on her. And then he proceeded to sprint off down the corridor, probably going to bother Albus for attention.

Minerva stared at the cup on its side.

"...what is wrong with you? Are ye some sorta overgrown kitty cat- oh. Oh my... SEVERUS!"

[fallingstars-55]

Some random guy: Hey lily! Would you like to check out my basement? I have got some nice pillar there.

Lily Evans: What about the attic? Oh right!... It's empty. You have to open a book between your legs to get me down there. Wait!...U haven't touched them but even 'u' do know these rectangular printed things called books exist *narrows eyes in doubt* ...right?

[snapeaddict]

Minvember Day 3 - Dance rehearsal

"Severus, you must help me."

"I am busy."

"Busy doing what, exactly?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"..."

"The fumes, Minerva. I am watching the potion fumes. The thicker it is, the better the result for this experiment."

"I see. I thought you were merely contemplating your laboratory, brooding over the absurdity of life as per usual."

Severus rolled his eyes. He unfolded his arms and took his eyes off the cauldrons that stood a few feet before him, glancing at the deputy headmistress with an unreadable expression.

"How may I be of service?"

"My left foot."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You will have to be more precise."

"It hurts."

Almost imperceptibly, his lips quirked in a sort of twisted, half-repressed smile.

"That is most unfortunate", he merely replied.

"Well, do something about it, you annoying man!"

"I do not see how. Certainly Poppy is the one qualified-"

"You know how she is! She might talk - tell Albus -"

Severus leaned comfortably against the nearest work-table. He could have been filing his nails for all that mattered; he looked especially unbothered, with a cunning and satisfied expression patiently waiting to move each of the carefully trained muscles of his face.

"Tell Albus what?" he asked.

His voice, as usual very smooth, was a steady mix of amusement and faked ignorance.

Minerva sighed heavily. She looked over her shoulder, then replied:

"You know he stepped over my foot the whole evening. And the day before. And the day before that."

"Really? But I thought you were an experienced waltz teacher -"

"Severus -"

"Such a brilliant one, in fact, that even the headmaster could become a successful dancer under your guidance, if I recall your very words -"

"Severus -"

"And, if my memory does not fail me, to that I humbly replied-"

"FINE! YES! Albus is a lost cause. It is like his arms and legs do not belong to the same person. He smiles confidently and then moves completely out of rhythm. Are you satisfied?"

Severus smiled cunningly. He set out to the other side of the room, opened and closed a cupboard and then came back to his original place, holding a jar of white cream. He handed it to her.

"This will reduce the inflammation in under ten minutes, if applied generously. It is scented with camomille - your favourite."

"Thank you."

She turned to leave.

"Oh, Minerva?"

"What now?"

"Do you know when this was prepared?"

"I am sure you will tell me."

"August 13th. The day we learnt there would be a Yule Ball."

She rolled her eyes and left, cursing under her breath. From what Severus could make out, it was something about never taking a bet again; he turned his attention back to his cauldrons, looking very pleased with himself.

[myst867]

[394halfbloodprince]

Severus: I love being dramatic because why would you ever deal with any emotion in a logical way when you could have the option of absolutely losing your mind

[movienerd22]

I can’t believe they didn’t put this absolutely amazing line in the hp movies

Harry: yes

Snape: yes, sir

Harry: there’s no need to call me “sir”professor

[klinefelterrible]

Minerva McGonagall: there are four houses

Minerva McGonagall: Pufflebuffledufflepumps, Ravencoldalausentopfenkoch, Greevindorflindlortf and Slutherin

Sorting hat: and we all know where Malfoy goes

Severus Snape: Minerva for fuck sakes

Minerva McGonagall: what

Nearly headless Nick: you said Plumpenhuhfufflendington wrong

Severus Snape: yeah, that too

Severus Snape: who the fuck would want to go there and remember this stupid name anyway

Minerva McGonagall: *taking a sip* who the fuck would want to remember your name anyway

[zeraplus309]

Snape: miss granger, that potion looks exactly how it should, ten points from gryffindor for cheating

Snape: mister longbottom, i see your cauldron has caught fire somehow, you have detention tonight

Snape: mister malfoy, i see you only burned your elbows this time, twenty points to slythering

Snape: mister potter... what is that in your cauldron?

Harry: barbecue sauce

Snape: why?

Harry: you're gonna yell at me no matter what i do, so i might as well have chicken nuggets

Ron, dipping Dino nuggets into harry's cauldron: *approving eating noises*

[the-herdier]

*looks at Astarion, Armitage Hux, Snape, and Oskar von Reuenthal*

Seems I have a type lol