kt1018

[kt1018]

Not Looking for a Hero.

Part two.

If you haven’t read Part One - please go back and read for context. This is a SLOW BURN. Part One enters you into the story. Here in Part Two it is very much story building for background and relationships history. That is why it might be a bit obnoxiously long :)

After this we’ll be able to get into more development of Rafe and Reader.

Warnings : Language and references to cheating. Very light sexual discussion. Drinking and drugs. Mentions of death and loss.

This is Rafe Cameron x Y/N (female) Reader 18+

Your room was up in the renovated attic space, so the tree cover around your windows allowed for some late mornings. You slept in as long as you could before the sun hit you in bed.

You needed that today.

Being on the top floor allowed for some peace and quiet from the usually loud house below.

You and your four brothers lived in your childhood home right on the marsh. It was the safest place you could be. A little separate from everything else. As if it was a world all to yourselves.

Your dad hadn’t been in the picture since right before your younger brother was born, even then you wouldn’t have considered him there to begin with.

Then, your mom. She passed away 5 years ago and your eldest brother Aaron, 20 at the time, took guardianship of the younger siblings.

None of you wanted to be separated.

None of you wanted to lose the house.

Lose that world.

So you stuck together.

In spite of the terrible circumstance that had you there, the five of you functioned like a well oiled machine. The house was taken care of by your mom and money from her allowed for you all to keep it running. It helped relieve any added stress that would have usually come with that kind of loss.

Aaron had taken over the fishing and charter business your mother’s parents had built in OBX over two decades ago. ‘OBX Family Charters’ brought in money that took care of all the extras for your family. It was one of the leading distributors to local businesses and a hit with tourists.

Successful enough to keep you in this middle ground between Kook and Pouge.

The twins, Jack and Isaac, now help run the day to day operations. You and the youngest, Danny, help out when you can. Your older brothers do make it a point for Danny to enjoy being a kid and for you to appreciate your final free summer without too many responsibilities.

You were tossing a little, fighting the unwanted urge to wake up, when there was a light knock on your door.

“Y/N? You awake?” You heard your younger brother mumble from the stairway.

“Yeah Dan. Come in.” You turned on your side to face the door as he entered holding a cup of coffee in a peace offering gesture.

Smiling, you pat the side of the bed and scoot over to make some room. Danny placed the cup on your side table and filled the newly empty space, laying on his opposite side to face you.

He studied your face over as if he knew everything just from looking. Danny was probably your best friend and he always knew when something was bothering you.

“You strolled in pretty late last night. Did Elliot drop you off?” His brow creased as if he already knew the answer and expected you to lie.

You could tell too. “No.” You sigh. “Elliot did not drop me off.”

An awkward pause settled between you two.

Danny’s eyes rolled heavily from one side to the other. “Are we going to play 20 questions to get to the end? Because you know I will. I’ve got all day. OR… you could just tell me what happened and why you hopped out of Rafe Cameron’s truck at almost 3 in the morning.” He placed his hands under the side of his face like he did when he was younger, begging for a story.

You sigh again and roll onto your back to stare at the ceiling. “I don’t really want to get into it right now Danny I-.”

“Ah ah. What better way to process than to tell your brother? Take advantage now, it’s early so my empathy tank is still full.” He nudged your shoulder before putting his hand back under his cheek.

You exhaled as much air as you could hoping to deflate or disappear. You couldn’t deny he was right. Talking about things with him, well more at him because he’s 15, always did help in the end. You were going to have to start talking about it at some point, it wasn’t going away.

“Okay. Fine. Straight to the end then. I decided to go to Topper’s party and… Elliot was there…” You paused and turned back to face him to make sure you saw the full judgement that would inevitably be displayed across his face. “With another girl… getting really close, to say it nicely.” You shift your mouth to one side pausing for the audible gasps you anticipated from your audience.

Danny could tell you were waiting for a reaction, even though you knew he strongly disliked Elliot from the beginning and didn’t need to continue repeating that fact. Especially in this moment. So he chose humor instead.

“So when you saw that, you dumped a drink on him.” You shook your head no. “You slapped him in front of everyone?” Another no shake. “You screamed, caused a huge scene and now you're hiding out in this room forever to avoid further public humiliation?” A chuckle finally slipped out from you.

“No. I quietly backed up, made sure my presence was not known and scurried away like a coward.” You shrugged. Feeling like a bigger idiot saying it outloud and for not standing up for yourself, again.

“Right.” Danny nodded. “First of all, not cowardly. I can see how maybe addressing it when he clearly wasn’t in the place to make solid life choices, wasn’t the move." A malicious grin spread over his face. "Ah, now to the juicy part of the story, you ending up with Rafe Cameron?”

Your eyes switch over to the chair across the room. Rafe’s sweatshirt was hanging over the back. You think about how he just offered it up without you needing to ask. A smile comes and goes before you start talking again.

“My phone died and I started to walk home. Rafe happened to be the first person to drive by. He offered me a ride and I took it.” You say casually as you sit up, reaching over Danny to grab the cooled down coffee.

He looked up at you as you sipped. “Well that was decent of him. Wouldn’t want you ending up like someone on one of Isaac’s TV shows.”

“My thoughts exactly and mainly why I said yes.” You continued drinking.

Sitting up, he patted your blanket covered leg. “Don’t hide away in here all weekend, okay? That douche doesn’t deserve you wasting any more of your time on him. I know you liked him and it hurts. But I don’t want you spending more on him than he did on you throughout this whole relationship okay?” He looked over at you with concern. “If you want to talk more I’m here. Just promise you won’t isolate yourself.”

You leaned over and hugged him with your free arm. “Thanks. I promise I won’t. I’m going to Carter’s house soon. But thank you for checking on me.”

You push his shoulder so he moves his way off the bed and towards the door. “Had to. Who knows how long you would’ve laid here if no one came up.” He sarcastically chuckles.

“Oh spare me.” You toss one of your pillows in his direction.

Danny laughs dodging it, walking out the door “Love you too.” He shuts the door behind him.

Alone with your thoughts again. You run your index finger along the rim of your mug. Your brain is bouncing all over the place thinking of what to do.

Not what you ultimately have to do.

You have to end it officially for yourself. Elliot is clearly over it.

Just how.

Do you ask him to meet?

Or just send the I’m done text and avoid dragging this on?

You always thought the idea of ending things through a text was a low move. However, Elliot sure went lower than you expected.

You put your mug down and pulled your phone from the charger. It was still off from the night before. You held your breath and the power button at the same time, not knowing how much would pop up once it turned on.

Or worse, what wouldn’t.

You toss it on your mattress while it powered on and went to the bathroom. You did your morning skin and hair routine before heading back to see what waited for you.

A mixture of hurt and realization flooded over you.

There was nothing from Elliot.

Maybe staying quiet was just the way to go with him. Opening that door so he could have the chance to comment back would probably just infuriate you more.

Topper had texted asking if you had been at the party because some people swore they saw you at one point. You’ll get back to him later.

There was a missed call from Ruthie, that would continue to go unresponded to. She definitely just wanted to rub your nose in this a bit more. You never really got along with her from the start. When Topper ended things with her, she didn’t take you staying friends with him very well.

Your sibling group chat had a few messages back and forth. Nothing that required immediate attention.

Lastly, there was one from Rafe.

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

“Figured I’d follow up with my first hitchhiker. If you were to give a review… 5 stars?”

You smirk slightly. “2. Maybe 3 tops.”

The chat bubbles immediately popped up on his end. “Ouch. I thought there would be some extra points at least for the after hours and the complimentary sweatshirt services.”

The smirk grew into a smile now. “Those extra points were already factored in ;)”

Again his chat bubble immediately showed and it gave you a flutter you couldn’t control. “I see the sass is still intact. That’s a good sign.”

“No one can take my sass away. That’s engraved into my bones.”

A second text from him came through before you had a chance to hit send on yours. “Seriously tho. You should make sure to order a ride next time before ending up alone in the dark like that.”

“So… is this you offering unlimited pick ups?”

“I would but I don’t want you thinking I’m out here trying to be your personal hero or anything. Maybe a real rideshare next time.”

“Giving up the rescuer life so easily? :) Well my phone died and I needed to escape quickly. Options were limited.”

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

You sat there tapping the side of your phone watching for his text bubble, anticipating another buzz.

Nothing.

After a minute you got up and decided waiting for another guy was not going to be how you spent today of all days.

You grab your bag and you slip on a pair of sandals that were sitting on the top landing of the stairs right outside your door.

Once you got downstairs, you found Danny and Isaac sitting in the living room watching some crime show.

“Hello gentlemen.” You plop down on the sofa next to Isaac and lean your head on his shoulder.

“You know I don’t understand. Every episode shows how these people make these decisions that always get them into terrible situations. Such as, I don't know, death. I would never make the mistakes they’ve made.” Isaac frustratedly pointed at the TV.

You and Danny threw each other a glance and a chuckle.

“Isaac, you’re seriously blaming these people because they hadn’t previously watched 100s of hours of crime TV to ensure they didn’t become victims of whatever happened to them?” Danny said with the most confusion present in his tone.

“All I’m saying is they have unlimited access to learn from people's past mistakes and they don’t.” Isaac shrugged.

“Right.” You patted Isaac’s arm. “I’m not going to stick around for this exciting conversation. I’m headed to Carter’s. Buh bye.”

They both mumbled their goodbyes while not taking their eyes off the screen.

Your mom’s old, now off white, one bench truck sat in the driveway waiting for you. You were really the only one who used it and you preferred it that way. It sort of kept you connected to her. Something shared just between the two of you.

You had both windows down and your arm twisting in the breeze as you headed towards Carter’s house.

Carter was your closest friend, your best friend outside of your brothers, and she was one of OBX’s dubbed Kook princesses.

She never acted like it though.

Her position or wealth never altered the genuine person she was. You admired that. Especially seeing how easily she could’ve gone the other direction, like Ruthie or Elliot.

Carter was someone who took her friendships seriously. Which is why you knew going to her would help you solve your next step problem. Or at the very least distract you long enough to where you would no longer care.

When you arrived, Carter was lounging by the pool with a pitcher of drinks you were more than ready to help finish.

“Ah, there she is.” Carter sat up to pour you a glass and top off hers. “I was wondering when you’d show up.” She smiled up as she pushed your glass towards you on the table.

You let your dress slip off revealing your all white bikini. “You’ve been waiting for me, have you?” Winking as you took a seat in the lounge chair beside her.

“Oh this little world is all a buzz about Elliot Coin and his new summer fling. Figured you’d be around eventually. You okay?” She relaxed back against the chair to let you take over steering the conversation.

“I’m just feeling dumb right now.” You take a large sip of your drink and lean your head back against your chair. “I had all of these moments over the last few months and ignored them instead of doing something about it. Now I’m here.”

Carter got visibly annoyed. “Hey. Not going to happen. We’re not going to sit here and stir up some ridiculous reason that this is your fault. It’s not. No matter what signals you think you ignored, that does not excuse the shit he’s pulled.”

You attempt a believable smirk in response. “I just can’t believe myself. I should’ve listened and ended this a long time ago. Now I don’t even know how to go about that.”

“First step is to finish these margaritas with me. Then we’re going to go find something to do to enjoy this beautiful day." Carter waved her hands as if she was presenting the world to you. "Whatever you want. Surfing and a beach hang maybe? If and only if you’re feeling better, then we’ll think more about that little shit and what to do. My opinion is silence is the best response. Men HATE when they don’t get to feed off of an emotional response.” She raises her glass and you match.

“I knew you’d be the right one to help with this. My thoughts are just too all over the place.” You giggle and take another drink. “A beach day sounds perfect.”

“It’s a plan then. Who knows, maybe we’ll find some boys worth our time there.” She finishes off her glass and pours one more.

You hold up your hand to stop and correct her. “Men. No more boys. I’m not wasting time on someone else who doesn’t know what they want or how to treat me. Or fucks around because they think they can.”

Carter hums happily at that. “You are absolutely right.”

You finish your drinks and throw your dresses back on. You both throw your boards and supplies in the back of your truck before heading off.

Carter turns on the radio so you both can loudly and poorly sing along to one of the playlist she so proudly created. The drive was short so you didn’t get through too many songs before pulling into the beach lot.

You headed for a free spot and set up. There weren't too many people there so you were able to have some distance and privacy. Carter set the playlist up again on the portable speaker and you laid the blankets out.

You headed out into the waves right away. They weren’t too massive today, so you were in for a relaxed session.

You both hit a couple of perfect waves and are waiting for the next set before you hear some voices. Then those voices are followed by a couple of heads bobbing out towards you.

Topper and Rafe.

Your breath hitches for a moment, knowing that the subject you’ve been skillfully avoiding all morning will now be a main topic of conversation.

“Afternoon ladies.” Topper says sitting up on his board in front of you and Carter. Rafe followed. As he sat up, his eyes fixed on you. The blue in them pierced right through you. You didn’t break focus on him until Carter spoke.

“Boys.” She said side-eying you to ensure you picked up on the joke. You did and it gained a feathered giggle from you.

“How’s it been out here?” Rafe threw out casually. He floated closer to your side.

“Not too bad. Low swells. Not a lot of speed. Should be easy for you to handle.” You sarcastically tossed in his direction.

“Well baby if you can handle it, so can I.” He tapped your knee before turning away. You roll your eyes as Rafe lays on his board to set up for the next oncoming wave. He turned back with a wink before paddling into.

You smile without thinking and immediately feel flush.

No.

You are not going to fall into the Rafe Cameron trap. He knew what was going on with you and he was most likely only looking to take advantage of that.

You weren’t going to allow that.

“So…” Topper starts. “...last night was interesting.” He pauses, not looking directly at you.

You’ve been rolling your eyes so much today, you’re not sure they won’t fall out of your head soon. “I really don’t want to talk about this here Top.”

“I’m sorry. I just feel partly responsible, you know. He’s my cousin.” Topper lowered his head in what appeared to be embarrassment.

“Topper, what Elliot does is not your fault. It’s not my fault either. You and I… we’re good.” You try to convince not only him but yourself. It truly isn’t either of your faults. You just do not want to discuss this.

“I just want you to know I do not support what he did and I lost it on him when I saw. I’m just sorry Y/N.” Topper smiled nervously waiting for you to respond.

“Don’t do anything on my behalf. But I do appreciate it, Top. Again we’re fine. Let’s just hang and enjoy the day okay?” You smile more convincingly this time.

“All for that Y/N.” He smiled, setting up for his own wave. Leaving you and Carter alone again briefly.

“Well at least that potential awkward moment is over and wasn’t too painful.” She sent a little splash in your direction.

You send one back and a full true smile spreads across your face. It was a feeling of relief to have that part over and know that your friendships won’t be hurt because of it all.

Carter heads off on another wave and you’re alone. You lift your face to meet the warmth of the sun. You sat there with your eyes closed for what felt like forever when Rafe’s voice brought you back.

“You out here to surf or tan princess?” He pulls up right next to you. Close enough that your knees almost brush and you could feel the hair on your arms stand up.

You brought your face down to meet his eyes and stopped again at the sight of how bright the blue of his eyes looked reflecting the water. You didn’t realize how long you were speechless until Rafe’s brow started to tighten.

You snap back into the moment. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" he responds quickly.

"That princess crap. I've watched you use that name on girls too many times. Don't pull that with me." He laughs and you scowl.

Rafe moved a little close to reach over to you and brushed something from your cheek. You froze at his touch. After a moment Rafe cleared his throat. "Are you still there?"

You side eye him to hopefully deter him from realizing why you paused for so long. You didn’t need to add to his already overly grown ego. "I was just giving you the opportunity to take another wave and catch up. But if you’re looking to take it easy.” You shrug at him and take the next wave to remove yourself quickly. No need to further embarrass yourself.

You can hear Rafe chuckle as you leave.

You decide stop after that one and head back to the blankets. Carter and Topper were already cracking open some beers.

Topper opens an extra and holds it up to you. “For you my lady.” He’s being overly nice and you hope it’ll stop soon.

“Okay don’t over do it now.” You laugh and take a seat on the other side of Carter, leaning back on your elbows.

“You guys up for doing anything later?” Topper throws out after a brief silence. “We should find something. Or we can all just chill at my house?”

You hesitate to answer. You and Carter share a look. Topper’s house is also where Elliot is staying. “I’m not really sure that’s a great idea Top.”

“What’s not a great idea?” Rafe is setting down his board before crawling down onto the blanket right in front of you. Leaning on his left arm, his face was now sitting very close to your bent legs. Too close. You lower them to stretch out past him, giving you some space.

Carter cuts in as she’s handing Rafe a beer. “Topper suggested we hang at his house tonight but with recent events…” She paused, glancing to you.

You keep your eyes down as you pick at the label on your beer bottle.

Rafe takes a swig from his beer and licks his bottom lip. He looked up to you, seeing you still not looking up. “Why don’t we go out on my boat instead? I know a spot where it's chill to anchor and stay a night or two.”

You look up now and glance to Carter and she’s already staring back at you. It’s clear her answer will follow whatever you want to do.

“Well…” You pause. Looking around again, all three of them are staring at you now. “Oh wow okay. I guess it could be fun. Sure.” They all start smiling.

Topper lifts up his beer. “Hell yeah. Let’s party people.” You and Carter reluctantly cheers to that. Rafe does not participate.

Carter pushes Topper's forehead to knock him back. “Please stop.”

You all start laughing and you peek over at Rafe, whose eyes are again locked on you. You mouth thank you to him, he returns with a nod and a smile.

“Okay my darling it’s almost 3. If we’re going to be out all night we need to go home and prepare.” Carter finishes her beer and throws her dress over her head. “Y/N, let’s get going.” She curls her pointer finger calling you to get up.

“Yes ma’am.” You finish your drink and throw your dress on too. Topper and Rafe stand up to help you guys pick up your stuff so you can head out.

Topper is walking ahead of you with Carter as she rattles off a list of things she is going to bring. You smile knowing she’ll most likely forget one or five things from said list.

“You know…” Rafe’s voice again snaps through your thoughts. “If you want I can grab you on the way to the marina?”

“Trying to get another shot at a better review?” You shove him a little with your shoulder and it knocks him a little harder than you anticipated.

“Woah! Easy there. I’ll take back my offer.” He laughs, regaining his balance.

You decide to play in, you know he’s not serious. “Oh but please sir. However will I get there?” You close your eyes and place the back of your hand against your forehead in a distressed way.

There’s no response, so you slowly open your right eye. Rafe’s still walking beside you but he’s rubbing his thumb and index finger along his chin. You open both eyes now and shoot an unimpressed look at him. “Really?” You say dryly.

“Just trying to decide if it would be worth stopping for you and your attitude.” He dropped his hand and shrugged. “Nah.” He glances left at you with a full size grin plastered across his face.

Without knowing you start blushing from being locked into his smile and you have to turn your head quickly to avoid him noticing.

“Fine.” You say now facing the brush. “I can fend for myself.” You don’t turn back to him, but you can feel him still staring.

Before another exchange you all exit the path to the parking lot.

Topper’s jeep was parked next to your truck so you all toss your things into your respective cars.

You can see out of the corner of your eye Rafe still slightly grinning, that caused more blushing in your face.

“So we’ll see you guys at 5? Head out of the dock from there?” Topper was standing on the driver’s side door frame talking over the roof of his car.

Carter paused getting into your truck and leaned on the bed. “Sounds good to me. Y/N?”

“Works for me too.” You say as you open your driver’s door. You move back a bit to allow the door to pass in front of you.

That’s when you felt Rafe right behind you and he leaned down slightly to whisper in your ear. “And I’ll get you at 4:30.”

The flush in your cheeks deepend. “I don't think I said yes to your offer.”

You look up to meet his eyes and he grabs your door while you climb in. Once you are fully in your seat, Rafe closes the door for you and leans in through the window.

"4:30." He said again before hopping in Topper’s car.

They pull away first as you start your truck.

“What. The hell. Was that?” Carter said with a mixture of shock and intrigue.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You say avoiding her gaze and throwing the car in reverse.

“Bullshit. Your face is still red.” Crossing her arm, you knew she wasn’t going to drop it.

“He just offered to pick me up. I’m on his way.” You pass off casually.

“That’s what caused you to turn into a tomato? He had to have said something else to you.” Clearly Carter was not convinced.

“I’m red because it’s like 90 outside. And he didn’t say anything to me. We're usually bickering, he’s being nicer today. Though it is starting to feel a little too nice. I can't tell if it's pity or he wants to hook up.” You nod to yourself.

“If you say so. Just be careful. Once Rafe gets under your skin I hear it’s hard to get him out.” Carter giggled at the thought.

“He is not getting anywhere near or under my skin, Carter. Drop it.” You said firmly, you were done with this conversation. Thankfully, you were pulling into her driveway.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I know shits weird right now. I just want you to be careful. He is easy on the eyes, but don't forget he is also Rafe Cameron." She leaned her head on the headrest looking over at you. “Are you sure you’ll have a good time tonight? We don’t have to go.”

“No, I’ll be fine. I want to try and have fun.” You rest your head back too and face towards her. “I promise. Remember, men who know what they want. We know Rafe doesn't. Everything will be fine.” You put on the biggest, cheesiest smile you can make.

Carter mimics you. “Okie doke. I’ll see you later then.” She leaned across and kissed your cheek. Then grabbed all of her stuff and once she was inside you headed home.

All four of your brothers were downstairs when you walked in. Danny was helping Jack make food in the kitchen. Aaron was in the living room arguing with Isaac about what to watch on TV.

You smiled at the sight.

“Y/N!” Jack shouted from across the room. “You home for the night? Want some of this food?”

“I’m home for a little bit. Going out on a friend's boat overnight, maybe for the weekend. If it’s done soon I’ll take some?” You head towards the staircase.

“Oh fancy, a boat trip. Sounds fun.” Aaron said without looking up.

“Who’s boat?” Danny asked again with his usual inquisitive tone.

You pause and turn back to him. “Rafe’s.” All four of them snap their heads at you. Your eyes roll again. You know the insinuation their faces were implying. “I’m not going alone. There’s going to be a few of us out there. Relax.”

This time you take advantage and escape upstairs and avoid further questions.

You grab a duffle bag and start packing some things you’ll need for the weekend.

Toiletries.

Bathing suits.

Large shirt to sleep in.

Clothes for the next few days.

A book for the morning, just in case you can’t sleep in.

You double check to make sure you don’t need anything else packed before hopping in for a quick shower to rinse the beach off.

Once you’re dry you throw on a pair of jean shorts and a black strapless top. You decide to let your hair air dry. It naturally gives off blonde beach waves and seems easier for the activity ahead.

You take a look at your phone for the time and see it’s almost 4:30. So you pick up your bag, as you’re heading downstairs you grab your white slides and a sweatshirt from the stair landing.

You join Jack in the kitchen. Danny had abandoned the cause and moved in on the video game the other two seemed to have compromised on.

“There she is.” Jack said with a calming smile. “Hungry?”

You shake your head no, while taking a cucumber out of the salad. “Not really.” You scrunch your nose in a teasing way as you take another cucumber. He threw a dish towel in retort.

“You doing alright?” His tone shifted to serious concern.

“I think so. For now at least. Today was a good distraction. I think it’ll be easy to get past this in a way. It’s been sorta building up to this for a while .” You shrug, taking a seat on a stool across the island from him.

Jack points the knife he was cutting with in your direction. “That’s good. That little shit is lucky we don’t go find him.”

“Alright, relax. He is not worth it.” There’s a knock at the front door, but you don’t fully acknowledge it. “I think I’m going the ignore him route."

“Ah classic.” Jack said with light applause.

“Ignoring who?” Rafe questioned walking into the kitchen. One of your brothers must have let him in. You’re thrown off at the sight. Rafe has never been in your house before and he’s strolling in like he’s done it a hundred times.

“That Coin prick.” Jack said without knowing how much that would piss you off.

“Jack.” You say quietly but firm and Jack shrugged in response.

Rafe picked up on the tension and just nodded in agreement. “You ready to go?” He put his hand on your bag. “This yours?” His eyes again, found yours.

“Yes?” You smile awkwardly.

This was awkward. He was being too nice.

Rafe picks up the duffle bag, says goodbye to Jack and your other brothers in the living room as he makes his way out the front door.

You make an inquisitive face at Jack and he laughs back at you.

Slowly standing you can feel the frustration boiling in your chest. You round the counter to hug Jack goodbye. “Have fun and be smart.” He says as he kisses the top of your head.

“I will. Love you.” You head towards the door, making sure you say bye to the others as you pass.

The front door snaps shut and you turn to see Rafe opening the passenger door for you.

Okay. You’ve had enough.

“Alright Rafe Cameron, I am only going to say this once.” You move across the lawn to him and his truck, almost at a charge. You square off with him, trying to look serious. Which was hard because you’re about 5’5” and he stood at about 6’2”.

He towered over you with a confused expression.

“I’m not sure what you’re trying to do. I however, am not interested in whatever it is.” You stare up at him.

Rafe smiles and moves the slightest bit closer to you. “I’m confused. What do you think I’m doing?” His right hand moves up and tucks a strand of your hair behind your left ear. His fingers lingered a bit longer, twisting the ends of your hair.

You swat him away, causing him to laugh hard.

“Enough! You’ve been way too nice to me. Which under any other circumstances, with any other person wouldn’t be concerning. But you. You’ve never been this nice to me before today. So just stop.” Your voice cracks a little.

You falter a bit having said that outloud.

You push by him to get in the truck. Once in the seat, you stare straight ahead. “So please. Stop treating me like this. I don’t know what you want. If you feel bad for me. If you’re trying to take advantage of the situation. I don’t care Rafe. Just stop acting in this fake, kind way. It’s frustrating.” You take a deep breath and stop. “I just want things to be normal.”

Rafe clicks his tongue and slowly moves to shut the door for you. Climbing into the front seat, he sticks the key in the ignition and sits there.

You can see that he’s working through the light verbal lashing you just gave him.

Finally, he sighs.

You can’t tell what tone it’s in yet.

Not until he starts talking. “First. I don’t feel sorry for you. You and Elliot? That was fucked. But I’m not sorry for you. People do fucked up shit all the time. You’ll live.” He turns to you and you’re not sure how to respond, so silence fills the space.

Rafe’s features lean slightly more towards annoyed before he starts again. “Last. I’m not fucking taking advantage of you. We usually bullshit around with each other. I thought today was better to be more on the friendly side. That’s my bad.” He raised his hands in surrender and you let a light smile cross your face.

He continued. “I swear I was just trying to be nice. Admittedly not my strong suit. But I was not trying to make you feel uncomfortable.”

The quiet fills the air again. You both just look at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

“So... I’m sorry.” Rafe decides to try and end it.

Now you feel awful for snapping at him.

“I’m sorry. I’m just overthinking everything and reading too far into shit today.” You say hoping that it’ll lay the foundation for any possible future outbursts.

He nodded in response. Silence taking over again.

You wiggle and settle more comfortably into the seat. “Besides. You can’t blame me for being so thrown off. Opening my door and carrying my bag? A bit over the top.”

Rafe turns the key to start the truck. He throws it into drive with a roll of his eyes. “I’ll just lay on the horn next time.” He looks over to you. “Don’t want you thinking I’m trying to fuck you because I choose to knock on your door.”

Your face flushes at his choice of words. You look away from him to hide it.

It's fine now.

You drew a line.

Now it’s a matter of not crossing it.

You roll down the window more to let the breeze cool your face down. Neither of you had turned the radio on. All you could hear past the wind were the tires on the ground and the bugs chirping in the grass.

The truck slowed as Rafe turned into the marina and parked. He switched it off and hopped out.

You got out right after him and headed towards the back. Rafe reached in and only grabbed his bag. He walked by you towards the docks with a smile.

You laughed and reached in for your things. Turning, you followed his direction.

You and Rafe are the first to arrive.

He’s already on the boat by the time you’ve caught up to him and you stop on the dock to take off your shoes.

Yachting rules. The main rule, no shoes.

You toss them into the storage box as you hop on. Dropping your bag next to it.

The floor feels cool on your bare feet.

You’ve been on the Cameron boat once before for a party. It’s a lot cleaner this time.

Less bodies on bodies everywhere. Empties and discarded trash aren’t scattered around.

It’s actually really nice.

Peaceful.

You move to the bow and lean on the rail, taking a deep breath, you close your eyes tight. This was your favorite time of day. Right before the sun sets. A bit before the tide starts smelling too low.

You hear the hum of the engine kick on and the rumble growing beneath your feet. You turn to look towards the upper deck where Rafe is standing by the wheel fussing with things.

You make your way inside. Walking towards the small spiral stairs and take them up. Opening the door you find Rafe facing away from you going over some sort of checklist.

“Need any help?” You ask, stepping up beside him. You run your fingers lightly across the wood of the hand carved wheel.

“Topper can help when he gets here. You don’t have to. Plus I don’t want to have to explain the steps while I’m trying to do the shit up here.” Rafe didn’t look up as he absent mindedly insulted you.

You scoffed. “Well it's a good thing I’m a little familiar with boats. If you just tell me what you want help with… you won’t have to explain a thing.” The sarcasm pours heavily out of you.

Rafe turns to you laughing. “Right. Sorry. I’m just not used to having girls around that don’t just immediately start partying once they get on the boat.”

“Oh don’t get me wrong. I will be grabbing a beer first.” You smirk and move back to the stairs. “I’ll start with unhooking the lines.” You feel Rafe’s eyes follow you as you leave.

You’re in the middle of untying when you hear Carter. “Y/N! Hey babe!” You look up to see her and Topper making their way over.

You smile and raise your beer to her. “About time!”

They both hop on, Topper heads right up to Rafe and Carter comes over to pull you into a big hug. “Sorry. I hope you weren’t here too long by yourself.” She whispered into your ear.

You pull away with a smile. “All good.”

You immediately change the subject.

“Help me finish untying? Grab that one down there and I’ll take the last one here.” Carter nods and moves to where you pointed.

Once you both finish Topper comes down and does the last few bits before signaling to Rafe that it’s good to go.

Rafe smoothly directs the boat out and away from the dock. The three of you at the bow applaud, while laughing with excitement for the evening.

Topper goes to sit on one of the couches to roll a joint.

Carter leans her head on your shoulder as you both let the wind sweep around you. She tilts her face up a little. “You good?”

You nudge her up with your shoulder. “Perfect. Please, stop asking.”

Carter spins away without responding and finds the aux cord for the sound system. Hooking up her phone she throws on another one of her playlists and starts dancing around.

She bounces over to you and throws you into a spin. The air fills with your laughter. Carter wastes no time and pulls Topper up to join you guys.

“Alright watch these moves.” He says and starts moving his hips in every direction.

You spin a few more times before you look up at Rafe and see he has his eyes set on the horizon. In that moment you feel a little bad he’s missing out.

“I’m going to go bring him a beer. I’ll be right back.” You pass between Carter and Topper. They don’t pay attention to what you said or where you’re going. The joint and the music are their main focus.

You grab two beers from the fridge and head up to the wheelhouse. You knock as you open the door, so as not to startle him.

“Hey.” You go stand beside him again and hold the beer towards him.

He looks at the beer and then up to you. “Thanks.” Taking it, he immediately takes a swig.

You take a seat in the captain’s chair to the right of him, sipping from your own drink. You close your eyes again to take a deep breath inhaling the salty air and allowing a huge grin to spread.

Rafe turns to look at you and he reacts with his own smile that’s still there when you open your eyes.

“What?” You say with a light defensive tone.

“Nothing.” Rafe responds coily. “You’re just really enjoying the sea air huh?” He laughs. Which causes you to laugh in turn.

“I am, thank you very much.” You scrunch your nose in his direction. “No, just being out here. Especially at this time of day. It’s my favorite place to be.” You turn to look out the right side of the windows, still foolishly smiling. “I could do this every day.” You take another sip.

Rafe turns back to look at you a few times in between checking the boat's direction.

You turn to him and catch his gaze one of those times. Again you’re frozen from the blue in his eyes looking right at you.

You can tell he sees you falter this time by the smile that gets bigger on his face.

“Come here.” He says, not breaking eye contact.

Your breath catches at the unexpected command.

“No.” You say sitting up straighter.

Rafe licks his lips over the smile that remains in place. Then biting his lower lip, as if he enjoyed your refusal, he turned away. He checked on the direction of the boat again then looked back at you.

“Come. Here.” A bit more firm this time.

You were, without a doubt, beet red at this point. There was no way to hide it from him. “For what?” You’re going to at least put up a fight, even if your face was betraying you.

Rafe’s tongue pressed into the side of his cheek. A airy chuckle escapes him. “If you come over here I can show you.”

You twist your head up in an attempt of resistance. You finish off your beer and place it in the table cup holder. Holding your stare with his, you stand up from the chair and move over to him.

Once he can reach you, Rafe guides you by the waist with both of his hands. He places you in between him and the wheel. Then presses himself directly behind you.

Reaching around with his right hand, he laid his thumb and index finger gently on your chin.

Your breath stops.

Rafe turns your head a little to the left, past the front of the boat. He turns his head closer to your temple. “Keep your eyes there.”

You lean your body back into him, but you do as he says. Keeping your sight where his hand had placed you.

Rafe takes his hand away from your face to make changes to some of the switches in front of you.

Your teeth find your lower lip as you bite down. Not knowing what to expect.

Once he was done ensuring the boat was all set, Rafe’s hand then moves back down to your hip. It matched his other hand that had been resting on your opposite side.

“Here it comes.” He whispers, his lips brushing against the side of your face.

Within moments the sky began to turn various shades of oranges and pinks. Brighter than you’ve seen in a long time. Being this far out on the water left no obstructions to the view. The sky's reflection was also showing in the water. The colors were all around you.

“Rafe.” You barely whisper his name. You feel him look away from the sky and down to you. “It’s so beautiful.” You bring your fingers to your lower lip as you gasp.

You can feel his chest move with a deep breath. His face, still looking down at you. “I know.”

You bite down harder on your lip this time. Not crossing that line might be harder than you thought.

Part One - Part Three

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No, I am not 'hoarding craft supplies.' I am sourcing materials for a very big project that will be revealed to me at a later date- perhaps in a dream.

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I will forever mourn what this little chosen family could’ve been.

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DREW STARKEY for w magazine

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Not Looking for a Hero.

This is an unravel as I go story. A SLOW BURN. My first dip into the Rafe/OBX world and my first direct to Tumblr story. I’ve only ever written for Dramione and I only put out 2 of those stories so… *shrugs*. I’m not sure how long this will be or 100% how I’ll get to where I want to go.

But if people enjoy it I’ll keep going. :)

Warnings : Language and references to cheating. The warnings might change by chapter but I can say there will be language, violence and sexual content in the future. Just not sure when yet, but I’ll do my best to update as I put it out. So don’t get invested if that isn’t something you will want in the future.

This is Rafe Cameron x Y/N (female) Reader 18+

It’s late now.

Or early you suppose?

Close to 2am at this point.

It’s quiet and so are you, walking down the night covered street.

You’re holding yourself tight while an index finger grasps the heels you foolishly chose to wear.

But you don’t mind the feeling of the gravel pushing into the soles of your feet. Growing up in OBX you spent most of your younger days barefoot running around.

That’s not where the pain is sitting anyway.

It’s in your head.

Your head is practically exploding. You can’t believe you’re going through the exact thing everyone warned you about.

Your piece of shit boyfriend, Elliot Coin, cheated on you at his cousin Topper’s “Summer Kick Off” party and you walked right in on it. You arrived not even knowing he was back in town. School ended so you knew he was coming back soon, but he didn’t tell you he’d be here tonight. You were blissfully unaware of how foolish you would feel in just a few short moments.

You showed up late. Walking through the open front door, you received some off glances here and there, but nothing that fully registered enough to pause. At least not until you arrived at the back door to the patio.

Ruthie, Topper’s ex girlfriend, swung in front of you with the most infuriating grin plastered on her face like always.

“I wouldn’t go out there right now if I were you.” Ruthie spat out so matter of fact.

You roll your eyes and step to the side of her, moving back onto your intended path. The beers up for grabs were usually kept by the pool and you needed one ASAP. You weren’t going to engage with Ruthie of all people before having a drink in hand.

That’s when you saw him.

Across the pool.

Elliot positioned in between the legs of some random girl, perched up on the garden wall.

She was running her hands through his now repulsive to you blonde hair. He was rubbing his now vile fingers up her thigh and below her skirt. Faces so close they were practically welded together.

You were so unfortunately sober, everything hit you fully and all at once.

You have been with Elliot for a year. He lived up in Boston during the school year and you met at the start of last summer. At Topper’s kick off party actually. Fitting. Full circle moment.

It was the definition of a perfect summer fling. Beach days followed by pool evenings. Weekends on the yacht, partying with the whole group. Exactly what anyone would dream for the break before senior year. Living like a Kook 101.

You weren’t technically a Kook, but you definitely weren’t what the Pouges would consider on their level. You had friends on both sides of OBX and never really fell too far into one crowd or another. Your family sat somewhere in the middle. Never went without, you just weren’t inherently wealthy.

Not like the Thorton family.

Elliot loved to flaunt his privileges for everyone around to see. Topper was full blown Kook, he was just less in your face about it day to day. They would invite their girls, you and Ruthie, along with a handful of friends out on the water. Spending hours on end drinking and partying, until the sun started to set. Then you’d take the party back to someone’s home until it was time to rest before it all began again the next day.

It was never deep with Elliot in the beginning. During the break you guys would party and hook up. Nothing substantial. You weren’t expecting anything serious from someone who didn’t live there year round anyway. To your surprise though, he asked to keep it going the night before he flew back home.

You agreed.

For awhile you would fall asleep on the phone with him a few nights a week. He would visit when he could, long weekends or breaks. You even went to spend a weekend with his family in Boston. Your textbook long distance arrangement.

It all appeared simple on your end. You didn’t mind him not being around all the time. It allowed you to keep things pretty normal. Focusing on school and your friendships. Not allowing a relationship to engulf your entire world.

Seemed pretty perfect.

Then the week before New Year’s he let you know that he wasn’t able to come down. You were disappointed, but you understood.

You understood in February and April and all the other long weekends that followed.

You understood that the calls became less and less frequent.

Chalking it up to him taking the end of senior year seriously and buckling down. Or just him living in his world, you in yours and how far apart they were. You didn’t want to overthink anything because you had no reason to. Even though it spread over a few months the relationship was still new, so you didn’t want to stress over what was possibly nothing.

Now you’re here. Finding out that it was clearly something and you feel like an idiot. An idiot that was just slapped with her lack of self respect with a force.

You felt like you just let this happen. You ignored all the signs and chose to stay quiet. That led to you getting a front row view of Elliot, clearly forgetting or maybe just not caring that you could show up at any moment.

You stumbled back a few steps bumping Ruthie’s arm with your shoulder. You look towards her, finding that same smirk looking back down on you.

“I tried to tell you” she shrugged with a dry laugh as she walked away, probably to her next victim.

It took everything in you to not snap, taking your new sudden fury out on her. Instead you continue to back up the way you came.

Through the patio door.

Back past all the stares that you now fully recognize.

Right out the front door.

You got to the end of the driveway and leaned against a random car. Taking your first breath, you feel, since you saw Elliot all over that poor girl.

“Fuck!” You choke out partly furious at him and the rest disappointed in yourself.

You pull out your phone to order a car and immediately remember your phone died on the ride there. You had added grab a charger to your to do list, but things clearly spun out before you did.

With another sigh you start to unhook your heels in preparation for the hour ish walk home. You don’t even know what more you need other than that right now. Home. Your bed. Then maybe you can dabble into processing what just happened.

You just needed to get away from this party immediately.

That’s how you find yourself 20 minutes in, barefoot, cold, sober and more tired than you would’ve been had you actually attended this party.

You feel foolish for not paying attention to any of the warnings about Elliot. Foolish for letting his behavior or lack of attention slide. Foolish about ignoring the fact he hadn’t even texted or called. Foolish for not noticing your phone needed to be charged before leaving the house so you weren’t stranded walking home at almost 2am.

You trudge on. What else are you going to do at this point?

Suddenly you hear the sound of a vehicle approaching over the hum of whatever bugs were hiding in the tall grass. You glance behind you and see headlights gaining fast. You move off the road to avoid getting hit and feel the rush of wind whip around you as the truck speeds past.

Just as fast as it went by, the brake lights lit, shift to reverse lights and back up towards you.

Great. Now you’re going to be a roadside victim from one of those made for TV movies your brother falls asleep to on the couch every night.

You shift your grip on your heels so you have one in each hand, ready to take a swing if needed.

The truck meets you before going into the park.

Then the passenger side window rolls down and the cabin light gets flicked on.

“Hi. Y/N… You good?” Comes from the driver's side in the familiar voice of The Rafe Cameron.

Again, your eyes roll. “Yeah Rafe, I’m fine.” You step back out onto the road and continue on towards home.

Rafe Cameron is the biggest player in OBX. The party boy. The Kook Prince, which you always assumed was self titled. You don’t have anything really against him, but you also don’t have anything really for him either. You hangout in the same group and had your basic sarcastic comment here followed by a snappy response there, relationship. He’s not the worst person you know. Especially not today.

There wasn’t much more to like or dislike beyond that.

Besides, you don’t need to be around anyone right now. A long self destructive walk home is better than any company right now. So you walk on.

You hear a click and the sound of tires rolling across the ground as the truck pulls back up onto your left side.

“Not to disagree here but, you don’t look like you’re fine… even if you were, it’s 2 in the morning and you’re strolling barefoot down a dark road in a party dress?” He says with his usual mixture of sarcasm and cockiness.

You stop to face the window and Rafe puts on the brakes to idle by your side. You sigh, shifting your weight to your left leg followed by an annoyed head tilt. You hope this is projecting a casual stance and not even a sliver of the impending stress explosion bubbling so close to the surface.

“I really am fine. Thank you for your concern but you can go now.” You swipe your hand to the side for direction, as if he wasn’t the one just headed that way.

Rafe contorts his face in his typical I call bullshit look. “Right. How about you and I pretend you’re fine” he throws up air quotes to really set in stone that he doesn’t believe you “But you get in the truck anyway and I drive you home so you don’t end up on a milk carton?”

You go to throw a witty retort back and pause. A second attempt that again is followed with just you standing there at a loss.

“Fuck.” You groan.

His offer is the quickest way you can get home. You’ll also avoid any other possible passersby, good or bad.

“Okay. Fine. Thanks” You go to open the door but it’s locked. Your eyes instantly snap up to meet his and to find he has a smirk plastered across his face.

“Sorry.” His tongue lightly swipes his bottom lip and he reaches back to hit the unlock button without losing eye contact with you.

You throw another eyeroll and open the door. As you settle into the passenger seat you adjust your dress so it doesn’t rise up too far.

“Thank you.” You say quietly.

“Hey. I see a damsel. I save a damsel.” He was definitely joking, but you weren’t in the mood.

“Look I appreciate the ride, but there is no saving going on.” You place your shoes next to you and cross your arms to keep yourself warm or protected. You’re not sure which.

Rafe nodded with a light chuckle and took off towards your house.

The windows were all open letting in the summer air. There was a slight chill so you held yourself a little tighter in the breeze.

Rafe must have noticed and absent mindedly grabbed a sweatshirt that was draped over the seat, placing it in your lap.

“Thanks… again.” You say as you throw it over your head. Immediately feeling the warmth cover you.

“No worries.” He says keeping his eyes ahead.

“If you take this right here…” You start.

“I know the way.” Rafe states off hand.

Another quiet nod from you and the rest of the ride is pure silence. You leaned on edge of the window letting the breeze swirl your hair around.

After 20 minutes Rafe pulls into your driveway and puts the car in park. “Well not damsel. Your non-chariot has arrived at your destination.” Then turned to you to see your reaction, resting his elbow on the back of the seat.

You had a slight smirk on your face. “Well thank you anti-hero. I appreciate your service.” You gather your things and step out of the truck. “Oh.” You turn back around and start to remove his sweatshirt.

“Nah. I’ll get it back another time.” He waved you off.

“Okay thanks. If you’re sure.” You pulled the sweatshirt back down.

Rafe nodded with a grin.

You close the door with another barely there smile and walk towards the house.

Rafe backs out and starts to pull away. As he goes by he leans out the window one more time. “Sleep tight Y/N. See ya around.” With a wink he waits for you to get inside, before he takes off.

Finally you’re home and you clean up. Reaching your room you change into a large shirt and crawl into bed.

Then the reality starts to hit after you were able to briefly forget. “FUCK” you whisper louder this time and roll face first into your pillow. You now have to fight for sleep in between the revisiting visions of Elliot and that girl.

It was a hard battle, but eventually sleep started to take over. There was nothing more you could do about it tonight.

Tomorrow you’d put more effort into cleaning up this mess.

Part Two (PART TWO OUT NOW)

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QUEER (2024) dir. by Luca Guadagnino

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DREW STARKEY AS EUGENE ALLERTON Queer (2024) dir. Luca Guadagnino

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THE LAST OF US — 01 x 03, “Long, Long Time”

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365 days of paceyjoey → day twenty one

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365 days of paceyjoey → day twenty four paceyjoey + the arm thing

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Into eternity

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WHAT THE FUCK I’M DROOLING

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I do not have an obsession with Rafe - I do not.

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one thing about me is that i will buy a beverage