#sarah paulson gif

[pedgito]

PEDRO PASCAL attending Sarah Paulson's 50th birthday party

[tuserlivia]

THE NAME GAME | AMERICAN HORROR STORY: ASYLUM (2011)

[breeze-blocks]

[animusrox]

The Bear S02E06 “Fishes”  

[cinemagal]

THE BEAR Season 2

[jane-fonda]

SARAH PAULSON: 'The Puppy Interview for Buzzfeed'

[stayevildarling]

wait?!?! you‘re considering writing for wandanat??😩 omg!! can you please write them with reader x cordelia goode!! maybe something angsty where reader gets hurt on a mission or something and tries to play it down

Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x Cordelia Goode x Reader- One too many secrets

A/N: I have honestly been captured by marvel and wandanat. I couldn't help writing for them but I wanted to keep some of my ,,normal'' writing in there so I added Cordelia. This is my first time obviously writing Natasha and Wanda so I have no clue whether this is accurate or makes a lot of sense. Let me know what you think though as I quite enjoyed this 🫶🏻

tags/warnings: female reader, established relationship, quad polyamorous relationship, mention of violence, mention of gunshot, mention of blood, cursing, angst, fluff

translation: detka= baby, malishka= baby girl , zlatko= sweetheart

word count: 4.5k

taglist: (if you want to be added just sent me an ask/dm or comment)

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay , @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @paulsonsratched , @stepintomyworld , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometime , @ohrwurm26 , @wastdstime

Todays mission had started out like any other mission, a quick briefing first, Tony talking you through most of the details and that you and the others had got this. Gathering your things before walking towards one of the quinjets and getting going. The last time you had both seen Wanda and Cordelia was two days ago now, travelling back and forth to the avengers compound and getting some training and exercise in, as well as greeting and chatting to some old friends.

They hated it, well Wanda only really did when she wasn't able to come along, however she had been stuck on another mission for the past few days and pretty much only got back when the two of you had to leave. Cordelia hated it altogether, she had met the avengers briefly and the three of you tried to be as open and communicative as possible, knowing the blonde wouldn't be able to cope with her crippling anxiety and worry otherwise. So, you had taken her to the compound a few times, getting to meet Tony and some of the others there. And despite the man even offering her to join them all, she refused, too busy with her own responsibilities of leading Miss Robichaux's Academy as their headmistress but also their supreme.

Cordelia was also your supreme, teaching you the basics years ago when you were dropped at the academy and didn't understand your powers and why no one wanted you. Somehow you stumbled upon the avengers, Wanda first before meeting everyone else and somehow getting caught in between it all. This was for sure never the life you had imagined, thinking you would grow old in the academy alongside Cordelia. However, a certain ginger and redhead somehow didn't only sweep you off your feet but equally the blonde sunshine that had been in your life for years. And so, the four of you slowly and with a few ups and downs along the way, built your life together, both away from the avengers compound and the academy, enjoying a more quiet and private space, rather than constantly being around people. Natasha's flying skills allowed her to easily move between places and Cordelia and Wanda's magic, as well as yours allowed the three of you to get wherever you wanted quickly.

As the quinjet prepares for landing, you glance at Natasha, who sits in the cockpit with Clint and you can't help but the small smile escaping you as you see her in her element. She loved this and you knew she did, however she especially enjoyed when her detka came along on missions. She had seen Wanda's magic on missions of course and her eyes always widened in that exact same way, disbelief, admiration and the slight shock. However your magic was different, so much lighter and beautiful and she enjoyed whenever she got to watch you or the supreme. It took a while to get you to where you are, Natasha training you to be her own little assassin and teaching you everything she had ever known and learned over the span of her life. She wanted to make sure you could protect yourself, hating the thought of anything ever happening to you and her not teaching you properly beforehand.

Your two girlfriends were utterly different. Sometimes when missions allowed it, the three of you would join in together. Wanda always fussed over you, often checking in with her magic to feel you close by when she couldn't see you. Not necessarily liking the thought of you doing all of these big adult things before Natasha had talked her out of those concern. Natasha let you do your own thing, trusting your abilities, magic and what she had taught you enough. However, her green eyes always lingered nearby, making sure someone wasn't getting a little too close to you, that the avengers didn't push you too much and didn't expect too much of you. She thought of you as a privilege to have around and help out and she made sure to treat you like that.

,,Ready Malishka?'' you hear her whisper as she brushes past, turning to smile at you before she follows the others. ,,Ready'' you assure with a smile, slightly taken back by her outfit and how badass she looked, especially with the flaming red hair, her smell lingering as she walks past and reminding you of home.

It really was supposed to be a quick in and out, Clint, Natasha and some others clearing the way for you, getting rid of some guards lingering nearby before getting to the big guys. Once inside, it was your job to finish the interrogation part, assuming they wouldn't talk and the avengers relying on you to use your Telepathy, read their minds and making them spill all the secrets, they would surely die for to protect. And it almost seemed a little too easy, as the three of you, including some backup cleared the way and eventually had the guys exactly where you wanted them. Bucky and Natasha tying them to some chairs before asking their questions, you eventually joining in and making them spill all their secrets. You had gotten what you wanted, Natasha filling in Tony who stayed behind, content with what you had gathered.

Yet, somehow you had missed something. Maybe it was due to the fact that you thought danger was averted, maybe you had been too taken back by your girlfriend and how both badass and beautiful she was or maybe it was the thought of relief and thinking you could return to your other two girlfriends waiting at home after finishing your mission reports once returned. It must have either been the cameras or the guys somehow alerting backup and almost as the four of you made it back, more guards appeared in front of you, heavily armed and ready to fight. Natasha was the first to notice, quickly tackling the first two running around the corner, Clint shooting some of his arrows, making some more fly across the floor. And you equally used your magic, making the new wave of them fly across the hallway and knocking them unconscious, Natasha watching and smirking in adoration.

As Natasha winks at you, she watches as your face turns serious, the three of them expecting danger to be averted as it had been deadly silent. However, your magic was quick to alert you that you had missed something, sending an all too familiar shiver down your spine and the feeling of doom that was nearby. You were no supreme, and usually this was a power that only Cordelia and Wanda managed to use. ,,Incoming'' you quickly alert them, their faces growing serious with concern. As you look around you, trying to find the obvious sign of what was going on, you glance around only to find another flood of them coming basically out of nowhere. ,,Fucking hell'' Natasha curses before the four of you get back into action, fighting to get out of there as really your mission was done and successful. Again you use your magic to send most of them shooting across the hallway and into the nearest wall.

However as you glance at Natasha, you watch her surrounded by some big guys, and despite the Russian definitely not needing your assistance, you can't help the overwhelming feeling of wanting to keep her safe. In a swift motion, you send half of them flying across the floor, quickly teleporting near her. ,,Nice one'' she praises as she chuckles. The room fills with the sound of more grunting and gunshots as the last wave of guards attempt to stop you from exiting with all the informations you had gathered. It doesn't take too long before the four of you manage to send them to the floor as well. Caught in the heat of it all, you had missed the excruciating pain you felt on your back, swallowing the lump in your throat and ignoring the obvious signs of pain and shock your body was alerting you of.

,,Detka, you okay?'' Natasha reassures as you exit the building and make your way towards the quinjet. ,,All good'' you smile, before she buckles you into your seat and begins taking you all back home. You should have said something, the pain increasing by the minute and causing your vision to blur slightly as you feel the throbbing pain in your shoulder. You had always been a little stubborn, not wanting to show weakness in front of them as especially your girlfriends lifes so far had been filled with nothing but pain and grief. And you never wanted to add to it, always making sure to help them out in whatever way you could, whether it was helping Nat with training, Cordelia with the academy or Wanda with things she was doing around the house.

Before your eyes feel heavier by the minute, you manage to linger your hand over the source of the pain, your magic slowly easing it a little before you allow your eyes to close. Your healing magic for sure was nothing compared to Wanda or Delia's and so the only thing it managed to do is ease the pain, lulling you to sleep a little, however the bullet remaining inside your shoulder, as well as blood dripping slowly down the inside of your clothing. It doesn't take long before you make it back, the quinjet allowing you to travel through the sky in no time before making it back to headquarters. As Natasha gets ready to follow the others, her eyes land on your sleeping form, still strapped into your seat and she can't help but frown, knowing how tiring and exhausting missions could be. ,,Detka, wake up'' she tries softly, nudging your shoulder moments later in an attempt to wake you.

As the pain shoots through your body again, your eyes widen, your mouth slightly agape but quickly composing yourself as you see the concerned green eyes from your girlfriend in front of you. She had noticed of course, ever the perceptive one, how your face was much paler, eyes filled with pain and the slight wincing when she had woken you moments ago. ,,Are you okay?'' she tries again, before you quickly nod, unbuckling your seatbelt and quick on your feet. Despite the dizzy spell, you take your girlfriends hand and lead her outside, following the others as you wanted nothing more than to get home. The redhead knew you to be stubborn, even secretive at times and she could tell something was up, assuming that maybe you indeed were simply tired and worn out after today, unbeknownst of the wound and the blood that continued dripping down the inside of your uniform.

The meeting following after, as well as the mission report feel like an eternity and you can't help but seek the comfort of your girlfriend. Mid meeting you had subconsciously reached for her hand underneath the table and she squeezed it tight, you not usually the affectionate type, especially when it was outside of your home and sacred, safe walls. After another hour, Natasha is quick to guide the two of you outside and back home, noticing how with each minute passing you seem more tired and practically falling asleep on her shoulder. She couldn't help but admire how comfortable you seem, resting your head on her and how her presence noticeably made you feel safe. She had taken a mental note to get either Wanda or Cordelia to check on you after this mission, making sure that you didn't get hurt, whether that was physically or something bothering you else wise.

,,Malishka, we're home'' the voice of your girlfriend softly awakens you, your eyes quickly falling shut again as the pain continued to pierce through you and almost take your breath away.

,,Come on sleepyhead'' she tries again, chuckling a little before you follow her inside, your heart beating a little faster as you think about getting to see your girlfriends in a moment.

As soon as the two of you step inside, the air is filled with both Cordelia and Wanda's cooking. You can't help but smile, assuming that Delia had cooked dinner and Wanda probably baked something, the two of them enjoying greeting you like that after a long mission. ,,Hi there'' Cordelia beams, greeting Natasha with a kiss on the cheek, before opening her arms to you. ,,Hi sweetheart'' Cordelia coos, as you practically fall into her arms, the exhausting heavy on your features and tired body. ,,There are my two favourite girls'' Wanda chuckles softly upon laying eyes on you both.

,,How did it go?'' Wanda asks curiously, not really having been able to think about much other than the two of you and the mission, despite Cordelia trying to distract her. ,,All good, our detka kicked ass'' Natasha chuckles, causing Wanda to smirk a little and Cordelia to smile proudly.

The supreme could tell there was something bothering you, her senses and the love she feels for you, instantly alerting her of something. However she wasn't quite sure what but the way you had held onto her for a second longer than your usual greeting hug, the way your eyes looked a little different and missed the usual sparkle and just your overall form. ,,Are you two hungry?'' Wanda tries, watching as Natasha is quick to toss her jacket away, having already showered at the compound but you insisting on showering at home. ,,Shower first please'' you manage to mumble out, before the three of them share a knowing glance. ,,Of course sweetheart'' Cordelia softly assures before you walk towards the bedroom. ,,Need any help zlatko?'' Wanda tries but you simply shake your head, thankfully declining her offer.

As soon as the shower is to be heard, Wanda and Cordelia simultaneously glance at Natasha, who stands by the kitchen counter, already stuffing some of the cookies that Wanda had made into her mouth. ,,What?'' she shrugs, her two girlfriends not being able to hide the smirk at her adorable antics. ,,How did that mission go Nat? really?'' Wanda tries, her and the blonde sharing the same concern over you. ,,It was good'' Natasha begins speaking, trying to swallow the cookies before getting scolded for speaking with her mouth full. ,,Y/N was great- as always'' she reassures before she meets their concerned glances. ,,I think she's tired, she fell asleep pretty much as we headed back and she's been a bit clingy since'' the redhead announces, before taking another mouthful of cookies and Wanda raises an eyebrow in return.

A set of green eyes meet Cordelia's brown ones, Wanda sharing the concern over you and knowing it had always been important to you to keep this professional, especially when around the others. Meanwhile you had somehow managed to get inside the shower, washing most of the blood and dirt away from the day, despite the soaring pain that was hard to ignore by now. It took you a while to wash yourself, really only having one arm available to do so. Before you know it, you find yourself half dressed, in front of the bathroom mirror, on your tip toes, trying hard to get a good look on your wound and trying to determine what you needed to do in order to heal it with your magic abilities. However as you try to turn a little, another wave of dizziness washes over you, causing you to stumble forwards and grip towards the sink, causing the several shampoo, conditioner and soap bottles to fall to the ground with an alarming noise.

,,Sweetheart, are you alright?'' you hear the voice of your blonde girlfriend moments later, internally cursing yourself for being so stupid and knowing they would be furious if they found out like this now. ,,Darling?'' Wanda tries next, and despite wanting nothing more than to answer, to reassure that you are fine and make the worry very evident in their voices, go away, you couldn't. The dizziness held a tight grip around you, making it impossible to open your eyes, the bright light only adding to your state. The pain causing the lump in your throat to get bigger, tears beginning to spill almost if your eyes had been open. It takes mere seconds before the door bursts open and you are unsure in your state whether you had locked it to begin with, unsure whether Natasha had simply kicked in the door, or whether your other two girlfriends had used their magic to open the door.

,,Y/N'' Cordelia calls out, watching your frame as you grip harder around the sink, Wanda's eyes immediately landing on your shoulder and seeing the blood and wound. They are quick to rush over, Wanda also calling for Natasha and the redhead quick to equally jolt towards the bathroom. ,,What happened?'' the redhead speaks with concern, before her eyes lay upon you. ,,Dammit detka'' she curses, finally understanding what had happened and why you had been so quiet. ,,Alright, sweetheart, let's sit you down'' Cordelia tries softly, despite the panic very evident in her voice and features. Wanda and Natasha are quick to get you to sit down, careful of your injury. ,,Looks like it's still in there'' the redhead remarks, having seen her fair share of gunshots in her line of work. ,,You can fix this right?'' she asks, her voice betraying the hint of worry as the color continues draining from your face.

Wanda and Cordelia's gazes meet, certain they can fix this but determining how. Their magics worked quite differently and while it would take healing potions and swamp mud for Cordelia to fix it, it pretty much only takes a flick of Wanda's wrist to fix your injury and so she is quick to light her hands in a red color before the blood and bullet slowly fade, making the wound disappear altogether. Cordelia watches in awe, Natasha watching in relief as your shoulder is back to normal due to Wanda's magical abilities. ,,Darling, are you alright?'' the scarlet witch questions softly, noticing your face still a little pale and face scrunched up in pain. In reality, you felt more guilty than anything, knowing they would be upset with you now, the pain still lingering on your shoulder due to the impact and how long it had been there. ,,Fine, thank you'' you manage to mumble, before Cordelia is quick to help you on your feet and finish getting you dressed.

As the supreme leads you back towards the bedroom, offering you some rest after the shock from today, you can already hear your other girlfriends voices raising from the room next door. ,,Nat, calm down'' Wanda tries softly, noticing how the redhead was visibly upset, pacing back and forth the living room, her fists clenched. ,,No- she should have talked to me for gods sake''. Cordelia frowns watching your guilty eyes and the tears threatening to spill any moment, despite the fatigue and sleepiness very visible in your features and tired eyes. ,,You get some rest darling and we'll be right here'' the supreme reassures, tugging you in a little and pressing a soft, comforting kiss on your forehead.

,,Enough'' the blonde scolds as she makes her way back towards the living room. Natasha simply rolls her eyes, Wanda's concerned eyes following the redhead as she continues pacing. ,,She could have jeopardised the whole mission'' the redhead sighs before she continues speaking ,,If one of us gets hurt, we tell the other one'' she sighs now, the anger slowly subsiding from her features before it turns into hurt, her eyes glistening with tears. ,,Hey hey'' Wanda tries, moving towards her girlfriend before taking her shaky hands into her steady ones. ,,Our little one certainly is good at keeping secrets'' Wanda begins, Cordelia nodding in agreement. ,,But I'm sure she just wanted to keep everyone safe'' Wanda tries reasoning with her girlfriends, despite feeling furious herself, given what could have happened.

,,I didn't see it, I thought she was tired'' Natasha sighs again, almost mumbling the words as a tear falls down her cheek. ,,Honey-'' Cordelia coos, quick to wipe the tear from her girlfriends features. ,,Like Wands here said, she's stubborn but you couldn't have known'' they reassure, slowly coaxing the avenger out of her shell and state. ,,I'm sure you must be hungry darling'' the blonde tries softly, before some guilty puppy eyes meet her brown ones. ,,Come on'' Wanda chuckles, taking Natasha's hand and leading her towards the dining room.

By the time you finally awaken from your slumber, your eyes eventually closing as dark shades of orange and red flooded your bedroom from the sunset, it's now replaced by a darkness. The only light source, a little lamp in the corner of your bedroom. When you turn a little, you notice both the absence of your girlfriends but also of the pain. Wanda's magic really did wonders to your state, as you can move freely without the slightest pain, despite a headache lingering. Slowly, you move the blanket from your tired body, despite feeling sleepy, wanting to be close to your girls and knowing you owed them an apology. As you walk past the dresser, you reach for a cardigan, feeling a little chilly and instantly noticing how it must be Wanda's as her scent and perfume lingers around you, instantly making you feel calm and at home.

As you step through the hallway, glancing at the countless artwork on the walls, as well as the photo wall that Wanda had added a while ago, both dorky selfies and official photos from either of you at events, you smile a little, recalling each day as if it had been yesterday. Your sleep didn't last too long, as by the time your eyes meet them, the three of them are still sitting by the dining table, having finished their meals not too long ago. With a smile, you watch Wanda bringing over the tray of cookies, Cordelia already getting a head start on the dishes. ,,Hi detka'' Wanda greets you softly as she notices you hovering by the doorframe.

,,Hi'' you mumble, the guilt very evident in your voice as your eyes fall upon both Cordelia and Wanda, still avoiding Natasha's gaze as you knew she was furious with you. ,,Are you hungry baby girl?'' the witch questions, causing you to simply nod a little shily before Cordelia reaches for your plate that she had kept warm for you. Hesitantly, you sit beside your girlfriend, Wanda joining the blonde with doing the dishes, knowing you and the redhead could use some quiet to talk this through, knowing you both to be stubborn. You gaze is dropped onto your plate, as you take slow and hesitant bites, despite feeling like starving, suddenly feeling like not eating under Natasha's gaze, the guilt consuming you and nagging at your insides. ,,Detka?'' she tries softly, seeing the genuine remorse in your eyes and feeling bad for her earlier outburst after the two had managed to calm her down.

,,Yeah?'' you whisper softly, your eyes already filling with tears. ,,Can you look at me?'' she tries, hating to see you like this and not having you meet her gaze. As soon as your eyes land upon the redhead, your vision fills with tears and she is quick to move her chair back, allowing you access to settle on her lap. ,,Come here'' she ushers and you comply, quickly getting comfortable on her lap, before holding onto her, as her strong arms wrap around yours. ,,It's okay malishka'' she reassures as she notices you sniffling in her embrace. ,,I'm sorry'' you choke on a sob, pathetically holding onto the hem of her shirt as your guilty eyes meet hers, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with todays events, despite usually being able to stay strong for your girlfriends. However, the thought of upsetting, displeasing your partners killed you inside as all you ever wanted was to make them happy, proud and content.

,,Why didn't you tell me?'' she asks softly after your cries eventually quieten down, listening to her steady heartbeat. Her tone is soft, the question sounding more curious and concerned than stern or angry and you could tell. ,,I just hate letting anyone down'' you sigh, not necessarily knowing how to put your feelings into words. ,,Detka, you didn't let anyone down, you made sure we got out of there'' she reassures, recalling your badass actions. A moment of silent follows, Cordelia and Wanda watching the exchange and a sad smile forming on their lips, seeing you two so closely, despite your pain. ,,What is it, really?'' she tries again, knowing you long enough by now to know that this wasn't the whole truth.

As you glance around, you watch as Cordelia gives you an encouraging smile, still cleaning the kitchen but obviously following the exchange between you two. ,,I just never want to burden you three'' you finally sigh, some more tears streaming from your features. Natasha's eyebrows furrow in confusion, not understanding your statement, considering the four of you had always been so loyal, so honest with each other. And you pick it up, her hesitation, the confusion washing over her face. And you knew if you had told the same to Wanda or your Delia they would have understood, knowing what it feels like to be a burden due to their past. But Natasha was tougher, fierce, being able to work out her demons on her own and having worked through her past mostly on herself.

,,I-'' you hesitate but feel Natasha's hand reaching for yours and squeezing it in a reassuring manner. ,,The three of you have been through enough and I thought I could fix it on my own'' you admit and you watch as her face almost crumbles, finally understanding your actions. And Natasha hated your statement, she hated how you put them first, their pain and grief and past before your own. She wanted to simply hold you and never let you go, tell you that they and she always want to know, always want to take care of you and never having you hide these things. ,,Detka'' she begins, taking a deep breath and hooking her finger underneath your chin so you can look into her green eyes.

,,Detka, you mean the world to us and we never want you to hide from us, we want to be there for you, just like you are always there for us three'' she reassures, watching your eyes and wanting to make sure you understand her statement. ,,Besides darling, you are a witch, not some super soldier'' she chuckles a little ,,Did you really think you could fix this without us noticing'' and your guilty puppy eyes meet her own yet again. ,,I'm just glad you're okay'' she reassures before holding you a little tighter and you finally manage to relax in her touch.

It doesn't take long, before Wanda and Cordelia join the two of you again, the supreme giving you a reassuring and proud smile for opening up, knowing it wasn't your strong suit. Wanda doing the same towards Natasha, glad the redhead had managed to calm down and talk this through with their detka. ,,Can I have a cookie now?'' you frown, before Cordelia and Wanda chuckle passing you the tray. ,,You didn't even touch your dinner darling'' Cordelia scolds softly, raising an eyebrow. ,,I'm an avenger, I can have dessert before dinner'' you protest, the three of them chuckling before Natasha presses a kiss to your forehead while still holding you in her arms. ,,Are you now?'' Wanda chuckles, finding your antics and the sight in front of her adorable. ,,Our badass avenger'' Natasha confirms, glancing at her other two lovers with a proud and satisfied smirk.

[evanpeterswifeyyy]

September is for Coven / Asylum / Apocalypse rewatches, October is for Murder House / Hotel / Double Feature and November is for Roanoke / Cult / Freakshow. Idfc, I said what I said.

[sarcasmcloud]

[its-sweet-like-cinnamon]

misty & cordelia American Horror Story//8x05

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

Me and the girls walking down the witches’ road (plural possessive) with our shoes off

[vizjpmdose]

The IT girls of the Cortez.

[fanofspooky]

Scream Queen - Sarah Paulson

[deliasbabe]

I'll Travel Far Beyond the Path of Reason (Take Me Back to Eden)- Cordelia Goode x Reader- Part 2

Part 1

Sorry I forgot about this fic, but I didn't want to make you wait a whole year for part 2, so I split it into 4 parts.

Word Count: 4.2k+

Warnings: Language, referrenced drugging, references to violence, PTSD

When you woke up the next morning, you were in her bed, her hair ticking your nose and your face pressed against her neck, safely tucked up against her body. You felt the tears begin to well up again, squeezing your eyes shut in order to quell them, but soon they were dripping on her neck, and she ran her hands through your hair on instinct, nose nuzzling the top of your head, lulling you back to sleep.

The next time your eyes opened, you were alone, but the sheets were still warm, hearing the shower as you drifted in and out of sleep, gradually coming back to the present. When the water stopped, you sat up, rubbing at your eyes as the door opened. Cordelia walked out, drying her hair with a towel as she smiled at you, “Well good morning.”

“Morning.” You grumbled, the supreme snickering at your half-awake state, “What?”

She smiled again, shaking her head as she walked over to the dresser, shuffling in a drawer for some clothes, “Nothing.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” You mumbled, feeling the sandpaper in your throat and turning towards the nightstand in search of water. You spotted a full glass, reaching towards it, only to see your knuckles bandaged in white gauze. You stared at them for a moment, perplexed, before consciousness fully returned and you were reminded of the previous night’s events.

You looked at your girlfriend, only to see her staring back at you, her once smiling features now etched with concern, and you pulled back, leaving the water still perched on the nightstand as your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. You crossed your legs, fiddling with your hands in your lap as you counted the threads in the sheets, and you heard your lover sigh, her steps light as she grabbed the forgotten glass and pushed it into your hands, “Drink it.”

She watched you in the mirror as she pulled on her clothes, lip trapped between her teeth as she tugged at the dry skin. The second the glass was empty she collected it, depositing it back on the table as you mumbled out an apology, eyes still trained on the white cloth beneath you.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” She replied, the bed dipping as she sat on the edge and reached for you. The second her fingertips brushed your skin you shifted away; the relief you felt the night prior now seeded with doubt. While your greatest attribute had always been your own self-awareness, it also made you keenly aware of the mechanics behind what pushed this reunification, or what forced it.

Choice had always been extremely important to you. You never wanted to be the person that backed someone into a corner with only one way out. Cordelia hadn’t spoken to you for weeks, couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as you for more than a few moments, yet there she was, looking at you so tenderly. But that wasn’t adoration in her eyes, it was fear, fear that you were so fragile that if she didn’t handle you with caution, you would break into a million pieces. She kissed you and held you last night merely to quell the storm, to stop you from the path of destruction you were surely on. Not because she wanted it, not because she wanted you.

You bit the inside of your cheek, willing to do anything to get out of the no doubt embarrassing conversation you were sure to have. You shook your head, mumbling something about needing to get up and get the day started, untangling your legs and trying to find your footing.  Cordelia grabbed your ankle, anchoring you to the bed as she shook her head, her other hand searching for yours and running her thumb over the back to soothe you, “That can wait, we need to talk.”

You nodded, pulling your hand from her grasp and using it as leverage to cross your ankles beneath you, pushing you further up on the bed and just out of reach. There was a beat of silence, a shaky breath, and then she spoke, “I’m worried about you. You really scared me last night.”

Your eyes darted up to hers, “I wouldn’t have hurt you.”

“I know.” Cordelia soothed, “That’s not why I was scared. I was scared for you.”

You shook your head, gave an excuse, tried to downplay, “I just don’t like being confined.”

Cordelia stared back at you, her eyes looking up and down your form like she was doing some kind calculation, tallying up every movement. You looked away, seeing her blonde hair shake in your peripheral vision. “The girls told me you were doing fine.” She mumbled, her tone puzzled, “A few hiccups, but mostly fine.”

You looked back at her, dumbfounded, but she seemed to be looking right through you. You weren’t sure if they were lying to her or if they were just blind, but whatever you were, it certainly wasn’t fine. Her brow furrowed as she tried to comprehend it, tongue running between her lips before she bit down, seemingly deciding the first option was the most likely, shaking her head, “I should have known better.”

“I’ll- I’ll be fine, you don’t have to worry about me.” You stuttered, feeling defensive, “I’m sorry for scaring you, but really, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Cordelia tilted her head in bewilderment, looking you over as you chose to stare out the window. She didn’t get it, last night you were begging for her to talk to you, now you were doing everything you could to shut down any form of conversation. It wasn’t like you. You were never one to stay trapped inside your head. In fact, most times, she had to be the one to stop you from blurting out every single thought that crossed your mind. While at times it drove her crazy, it was also one of the things she loved most about you. When it came to the important things, there was no guess work, your heart was on your sleeve always.

She felt the guilt lodge in her throat, knowing this was largely her own doing. You had tried to talk to her, tried for weeks, and each time she shut you down. She wasn’t ready, so she pushed you away, and now your silence was a habit she didn’t know if she could break. A stray tear fell down her cheek and she was quick to wipe it away as you turned around, not wanting you to see it and shut down even further.

You fixated on a point, eyebrows creasing, and Cordelia followed your line of sight, spotting your numerous suitcases by the door. She snickered, “It was actually pretty easy to move all your stuff in here, since you already packed it for us.” You looked over at her questioningly, and she elaborated, “You’ll be staying in here, with me.”

It shouldn’t have been a surprise, you had already had the discussion before your fight, had decided to move all your things into her room over break, since you were already there every night. It made sense at the time, but a lot had changed since then. You had wanted it to happen, but not like this.

“You don’t have to do that.” You argued, shaking your head, “I didn’t mean to put you in this position.”

“What position?” She asked, prompting you when you threw her a look. She stared at you, eyebrows raised and tongue pushing against her cheek, and that look you knew. It was the same look she always gave when the two of you were bickering and she already knew she was going to win, but she wanted to push you and extract every single argument first. She was playing with you, wanting you to show your hand before she showed hers, all the while knowing you were going to lose.

You let out an inaudible grunt, shaking your head as you explained, “I know the way I acted last night wasn’t ok. It wasn’t fair and I don’t want you to feel forced to…”

You stuttered, you couldn’t say it, but Cordelia was right there, prompting you once again, “Forced to do what?”

You shook your head, unable to face the fear, and stared down at your hands. If you said it and she agreed, you would be devastated, but if you said it and she denied it, then you wouldn’t believe her. If you said it out loud, you would be forcing her hand once again. It was too soon.

But there she was, tipping your chin up and forcing you to stare in her sparkling eyes. There was a mischievous glint in them, her lips curled into a teasing smile, “Forced to do what?”

The words caught in your throat and you moved to clear it, obviously flustered, and Cordelia’s gaze softened, but not before she glanced at your lips. She shifted closer, and you knew what was coming next. You tried to pull back, but the grip on your chin tightened, so you spit out, “We can go back to the way things were.”

You saw the hurt flash across her features as her fingers fell from your face, hands moving to tuck her bangs behind her ears as her eyes cast down. When she looked back at you, her face was painfully neutral, and you couldn’t help but flash back to those weeks you spent in this bed. “Is that what you want?” She asked, not meeting your eyes.

You shook your head, sputtering on your words for a moment before managing to squeak out, “I told you I wasn’t going to force you.”

Cordelia was quiet for a moment, trying to piece together what you were saying, “You think you’re forcing me… to care about you? To want to be with you?”

You sighed, “I cornered you-”

Cordelia cut in, “The girls cornered both of us, you were just as clueless as I was.”

You shook your head, “That’s not what I’m saying…”

“Then what are you saying?” Cordelia asked, obviously searching for some kind of clarity, but to be honest you didn’t really understand it yourself, at least not well enough to put into a comprehendible context.

“You didn’t talk to me for a month, you didn’t even want to be in the same room as me.” You argued, “You made yourself pretty clear.”

“That was a mistake,” Cordelia sighed, rubbing at her temples and shaking her head as she sniffled back tears, “But I never stopped caring about you.”

“Caring about me and wanting to be with me are two completely different things.” You pointed out, Cordelia sighing as she stood.

“Stay here.” She ordered, shooting you a stern look before she walked out of the room, returning a few moments later with a binder and handing it over to you.

“What is this?” You asked, glancing up at her as you flipped through the pages, not understanding what the pages of text meant.

“The knife we pulled from you had an engraving in it, a crest.” Cordelia explained, “It traced back to a group of witch hunters that has been around since before my mother was supreme, a group we thought had been eliminated, Delphi Trust.”

“Your ex’s family?” You asked, Cordelia nodding.

“I called in a favor with the FBI, got some information…” Cordelia said, swallowing thickly, “It wasn’t random, they didn’t just find you. It was a targeted hit. They went after you because you were close to me. They had been following us for months, and I handed you right to them.”

“You didn’t know…” You began, but your girlfriend silenced you, pointing to the binder.

You scanned over the pages again, names and photos and addresses. You flipped through the pages, Cordelia speaking as you did, “I thought the protection spell would be enough to protect you, and it did, but it wasn’t enough.”

You stopped, looked up, “You put a protection spell on me?”

Cordelia waved you off, motioning for you to keep reading, flipping the pages to find pages upon pages of arrest warrants, “I didn’t want to tell you until it was all done. I didn’t want you to worry…”

You flipped and flipped and flipped, there had to be at least 200 of them. With the sheer amount, it should have taken months to compile this much research. You processed for a moment, trying to put together what all of this meant, “You got them all?”

Cordelia shook her head, “I still don’t know. From what we could figure out, all of the smaller groups that have popped up were started by them.” Another head shake, “We got as many as we could find, but not all the arrests have been made yet.”

“You did all this… in a month… for me?” You asked, Cordelia nodding hesitantly, “When did you sleep?”

“I wanted you to feel safe.” Cordelia said, beginning to rant as she dodged the question, “When they told me you left, I was so worried, I just stood by the door for days and…”

You vaulted off the bed then, darting across the room and crushing your lips to the supreme’s. She squealed in surprise, eyes going wide before fluttering shut, one hand snaking behind your back, the other tangling in your hair and tugging you closer. The kiss was delicate and soft and so, so different than the desperate one you had shared the night previous. When you parted, Cordelia rested her forehead against yours, but instead of tears, she was smiling and laughing lightly, her breath fanning out over your face.

“I love you…” She breathed, stroking your face and staring at you with adoring eyes, “So much.”

“I love you, too.” You said, beginning to chuckle, “But you’re an idiot.”

You squealed when Cordelia pinched at your ribs, jumping back, but she nodded regardless, “I guess I deserve that.”

“You guess?” You scoffed, Cordelia biting her lip, her gaze drifting to the floor as the guilt was plastered clear on her features. You sighed, heading back towards the bed and climbing under the covers, “Come here.”

She quirked a brow, “I thought you wanted to get up?”

“Yea,” You said sarcastically, “That was when I was trying to avoid talking about my feelings. Now I demand cuddles.”

Cordelia laughed but complied, crawling up the bed and into your arms. You sat there for a moment, trying to savor the feeling, before you felt a question crawling out of the back of your throat, “Last night, what did you do to me?”

Cordelia went still for a moment before flipping onto her stomach, gazing at you as she ran her fingers through your hair, “I needed to see everything. I didn’t want you to lie to me.”

“I wouldn’t have lied to you.” You stated, “I would have told you everything.”

Cordelia gave you a soft smile, a knowing look in her eyes, “You would have told me what you knew to be true.”

You stared back, obviously confused, “What does that mean?”

Cordelia arched a brow, obviously testing you, “Tell me about your nightmares.”

You shook your head, “I’m not having nightmares.” Cordelia stared back at you with a victorious smirk, like you somehow just answered your own question, “I’m not, seriously.”

“You haven’t been sleeping.” Cordelia sighed.

“I’ve been sleeping like a rock.” You shot back.

“No, you haven’t.” Cordelia said, “You just think you have.”

“What does that even mean?” You exclaimed, looking for Cordelia to finally give you some sort of explanation, “I was sleeping all the time. I spent days just sleeping.”

Now it was Cordelia’s turn to look back at you in disbelief, “You really don’t remember any of it?”

You threw up your hands, “Obviously not.”

Cordelia shook her head, finally pulling away from you and sitting up on the bed, “What do you remember?”

“From which point?” You asked.

Cordelia didn’t know, she didn’t know what you knew, “Start from the beginning. When do you remember waking up?”

You shook your head, “I asked you how long I was out for and you said four days.”

Cordelia’s eyes went wide in recognition, before narrowing again, “That’s the first thing you remember?” You nodded, forehead creasing as you waited for her to explain, “That makes sense.”

“How does that make sense?” You asked.

“I was confused when you asked me…” Cordelia began, stopping and shaking her head before explaining, “That wasn’t the first time you woke up.”

You tilted your head, “So when was it?”

“The day after.” Cordelia said, “You woke up screaming about… hands? Or someone holding you down?” Recognition must have flashed across your features, the supreme nodding her head before she continued, “I tried to calm you down, but you just kept fighting me. We had to give you a sedative because you ripped your stitches open.”

You could tell from the look on her face that it pained her, and you regretted ever asking her to elaborate, but she continued, “It didn’t work well. Even when you were awake, you weren’t really there, but you also wouldn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time. When you woke up, you would just scream, and nothing seemed to help.”

You watched a tear drip down her cheek, your thumb quickly raising to brush it away. “Delia…” You tried, “You don’t have to…”

Cordelia gave you a sad smile, shaking her head, “We switched to a different sedative after that, and I guess that’s when you actually woke up.”

You thought that was the end of it, nodding as you tried to pull her back to you, but she was stiff. “Delia,” You tried, “It’s fine. I haven’t had a nightmare since then, so the new medication must have worked.”

Cordelia eyed you, obviously thinking you were joking, but you remained serious. “You don’t remember any of it, do you?” She asked, her eyes full of concern once again.

“Remember what?” You asked, laughing under your breath, “There’s nothing to remember. Every time you gave me those meds, I was knocked out cold.”

The look on Cordelia’s face was enough to pull you into a seated position, eyes searching hers as she looked right through you. Your brows furrowed as you watched her fish through her mind and replay every memory, adding context she hadn’t even bothered to give you yet. “You don’t remember any of it.” She whispered, “Oh my god.”

“Care to clue me in?” You asked, trying to stave off the uneasy feeling that had begun swirling in your gut.

Cordelia met your eyes again, schooling her features as she cleared her throat, “You weren’t sleeping, at least not for more than a few hours. I was up with you all night.”

You shook your head, but Cordelia continued, “We figured out if I gave you the medication right before dinner, you would sleep until the sun was down, and you wouldn’t go back to sleep until sunrise.”

You stared at your girlfriend, perplexed, “Why don’t I remember that?”

“It must have been the medication.” Cordelia said, shaking her head, “Some sort of twilight phase or memory loss?”

You sniffled, trying to keep the tears at bay. It felt stupid to cry over something like this, something that really didn’t amount to anything, but you couldn’t help feeling like your own body had betrayed you. “You were there?” You asked, “All night?”

Cordelia nodded, hand reaching up to brush away the tears that had started to fall against your own will, “Of course I was.” Cordelia watched your face crumple, eyes tracking back and forth as she tried to think of why, her own face dropping at the realization.

When you were screaming about how she wasn’t there, she had assumed you meant the attack. It made the most logical sense. After all, she left you stranded on the other side of town, it was only natural that you would blame her. But if what you said was true, if you had no recollection after you were given the sedative, then it would seem that she wasn’t there at all.

“I’m so sorry.” Cordelia choked out, “I thought…”

You wiped at your eyes, clearing your throat as you attempted to school your features, “It’s not your fault.”

Cordelia shook her head, swiping at her own face, “Is that why you fought me?”

You nodded, feigning a chuckle, “I thought you were drugging me, so we didn’t have to talk.”

“No,” Cordelia said firmly, her voice cracking, “Oh god, no.”

“Then why didn’t you talk to me?” You cried, “It was weeks, Cordelia.”

The way Cordelia looked at you made you feel like you had truly lost your mind, like you were stuck in some delusion that she couldn’t figure out how to break. She reached for your hands, but you pulled them away, feeling a pressure build up inside your chest, but as quickly as it had come, it was gone. It was difficult to face the idea that everything that had happened in the past few weeks had been your minds own fabrication, it’s futile attempt to fill in the gaps, but it was true. She wasn’t looking at you like that to hurt you, the delusion wasn’t fabricated, it was real.

Cordelia’s mouth moved against empty words, trying but failing to offer you any sort of explanation, and you shook your head, “I need to see it.”

“What?” Cordelia asked.

“I need to see it.” You repeated, “I need to do whatever you did to me.”

“I don’t think…” Cordelia began, but you cut her off.

 “Obviously, there’s something I’m missing. Please.” You pleaded.

 “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” Cordelia reassured, reaching for your hands, but you pulled away.

You shook your head, “I need to see it.”

You could see the hurt in her eyes, then the deliberation. As much as you tried to force the issue, truly she had all the power. You needed her for it to work, her mind, her abilities. She could easily tell you no, and it would be over, but you knew her too well. Telling you no had always been her weak spot; it was how you managed to worm your way into her heart in the first place. She always swore she would never develop feelings for one of her girls, had stuck to the rule hard and fast. When she realized she cared for you more than the others, she did her best to avoid any interaction, hoping the feeling would dissipate, but when she backed off you pushed forward, and eventually, she broke.

“I’ll have to make a spell.” Cordelia finally said, you nodding in return, “There’s no guarantee it will work, but I’ll try.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, feeling yourself physically deflate, “Thank you.”

You could see the hesitance still clear on her features, her unsure eyes and the way she was chewing on her bottom lip, but she pushed it aside and offered you a small smile, opening her arms, “Now, come here.”

You crawled across the bed, practically throwing yourself into her lap, drawing a giggle out of her as her arms enveloped you. You buried your head in her chest as she pressed kisses to your hairline, her arms tightening around you and squeezing as she rocked back and forth slightly, whispering, “My beautiful girl.”

You looked up at her, only to see her eyes glassy. “Hey,” You whispered, bringing your hand to her cheek, “I’m right here. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Cordelia said, shaking her head and pressing another kiss to yours, “I just… I thought I wasn’t going to get to do this again.”

“Me too.” You whispered, nuzzling into her neck, mostly to hide the fact that you also were on the verge of tears. You knew what she was referring to, the doubt and uncertainty that had plagued you for the past month, but not once did you stop to consider that she was feeling it as well, and while you still weren’t entirely sure what transpired in the past month, you did know your girlfriend.

As much as she tried to put on a brave face in front of the girls, you knew how sensitive she truly was, how she took every little hiccup to heart. You were the one who was there when that tough resolve crumbled, and every inadequacy she felt she had, came to the surface. She felt she was at fault if one of the girls so much as skinned their knee, so you could only imagine what was running through her mind when you came back with a knife wound.

“I thought you hated me.” She admitted, gripping you tighter when she felt you trying to pull away, but you were only doing that so you could look at her properly.

“I could never hate you.” You said, cupping her face with both hands, “Not in a million years. The only thing I could even think about was making it home to you.”

Cordelia pressed her eyes closed, her entire face tensing as she was desperately trying not to cry, but a few tears slipped down her cheeks regardless, and you were quick to kiss them away, pressing a final kiss on the tip of her nose, causing her eyes to flutter back open. “I love you.” She breathed, pressing her forehead to yours, “So damn much.”

“I love you, too.”

[holyblanchett]

The golden globes made sure Cate and Sarah are sitting together oh we're going to get so much chaotic content from this reunion I live!!

[jane-fonda]

Sarah Paulson & Jessica Lange both winning ‘Outstanding Lead Performance in a Play’ at the 2024 Drama Desk Awards.