#sappy and sad hours

[14buddy22]

It Won’t Be Like This For Long

WC: 3K // Masterlist

Aaron Hotchner x Female!Reader 

AN::This is mainly Aaron Hotchner as a girl dad because the CM writers missed out on such a great opportunity. Also Haley and Jack DON’T EXIST in this story. Italics in the story are a foreshadow to when your daughter is older!

Aaron had come home from a long case. It was especially long because it was the first case away from his family. He was told multiple times that it was too soon for him to go back, but to know that he was catching killers and saving lives, just so he could make the world a better place for you and your daughter, he would never stop.

Your daughter was only two weeks old, it was really early for him to go back, but you could tell he was getting antsy. You don’t blame him one bit, he was good at what he did. He’d been so careful during your 9th month of pregnancy, he didn’t work one case from a different state, he stayed home, working from his home office.

When your daughter finally did make her arrival, it was the one day he had to go into the office for a meeting. You were best friends with Penelope, so Aaron told her to come sit with you while he had gone. He didn’t want you to be alone in case anything happened. You promised him nothing would and you could take care of yourself, but your baby had other plans.

When your water broke while making lunch with Garcia, you began to freak out a little bit. You were so good with kids, being a teacher allowed you to be good with them. You’ve never done this yourself though. You haven’t gotten pregnant before, you hadn’t gone through 9 months of pregnancy until now, you hadn’t given birth. You were told to be calm and collected, and that’s what you were going to be. You couldn’t freak out.

“Um, Penelope.”

You took a deep breath through the pain.

“It’s time to have a little Hotchner.”

Placing a hand on your stomach, you watched as Penelope began to turn off the stove, put ingredients back in the fridge, and started frantically running around the house to find your hospital bag.

When you got in the car, you began to call Aaron’s phone. When you were met with his voicemail, Penelope was already dialing Derek. Derek would kick down the door just to make sure Hotch got the news he had been so desperately been waiting for ever since he found out you were pregnant.

Just when you were checked into your hospital room, you were met with a frantic Aaron, all while you were calm and collected. Penelope had left to give you two the time you needed and she’d wait out in the waiting room with Derek.

After being in labor for only 5 hours, your little girl decided to make herself known in the world. While you had just given birth to a human, you couldn’t help but tear up at the sight of Aaron in awe of the doctor’s taking your little girl and cleaning her up. She had dark hair, matching Aaron’s for sure.

When your eyes finally met Aaron’s, you couldn’t help but reach up to him and wipe the tears that had fallen. He was a father, to a beautiful little girl. All the insecurities that he had and that you tried to push aside when he brought them up, shined in the moment right here, when your little girl was put into your arms.

He immediately cradled you in his arms, sitting next to you, looking at the beautiful piece of art that you and him had created. There was so much love pouring out from you and him and your girl would forever be loved.

“What do you think, Aar? Hannah Hotchner?”

“I love it. I love you, I love her. Thank you for making me a dad. I promise I’m going to be the best Dad that I can be.”

“I know you’re going to be an amazing Dad, Aaron. You already are.”

With another kiss between you two, you passed Hannah into his arms, letting him hold the little girl you know he’s been dying to hold. You fell in love with him even more. The way he held her in his arms. The way he whispered, “Hi Hannah, I’m your daddy. You’re always going to be my little girl. I promise I will not let anything happen to you or your mommy or any other siblings you may have in the future.”

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard your daughter crying from her nursery, only a few doors down the hall. You knew she just ate less than an hour ago and she would fall back asleep shortly after a few cries. It was the self soothing method that you got used to when you were in college working for a daycare center. You hated it at first, not being able to grab the babies when they were crying, but when you had 4-5 other babies all crying during nap time, it was easiest when they learned to self-soothe.

You felt the bed begin to move, Aaron was up. You wanted him to get sleep. You knew he hadn’t gotten much during this last case, which explains the texts that you randomly got in the middle of the night checking in on you and your daughter, Hannah.

His alarm was bound to go off in an hour, so you wanted to tell him that you’d get Hannah and he could try and lay back down. He had a lot of stress, you’d take care of your daughter.

You heard him start his morning coffee pot and he walked back into your shared bedroom. He began to splash water on his face.

You got up, meeting him in the bathroom. You wrapped your arms around him and gave him a kiss. You felt the tension of his muscles relax in your touch. You both listened to Hannah crying across the hall.

“It’s gonna be okay. It won’t be like this for long. One day, we’ll look back laughing at the week we brought her home. This phase is gonna fly by. Baby, just hold on.”

Aaron turned in your arms and whispered, “I love you. Can we go get our little girl?”

You nodded as he kissed you once more, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the nursery. He turned on the lamp and saw Hannah looking up and moving. He grabbed her from the crib and she snuggled into his shoulder.

“Daddy missed you so much, Han.”

**4 years later**

You don’t know what time it was, you just know that it was early enough to still be dark and early enough that Aaron wasn’t up and getting ready for work. You had heard the door open and saw the shadow of your oldest daughter with her favorite stuffed animal and she began to crawl into bed between you and Aaron. You looked at the clock and saw it was only 4:30am.

“Hannah, what’s wrong?”

You sat up a little bit and she said, “I want to sleep with you and Daddy.”

Aaron began to turn over when he heard the two of you whispering. He couldn’t deny that when Hannah was younger, he didn’t always listen to you when he was home alone with her and wouldn’t let her self-soothe. She had him wrapped around her finger.

“Want to sleep with Daddy?”

You rolled your eyes at him and laid back down. Hannah laid into her father’s arms and Aaron tried to pull you closer to him. When you saw the shadow of him holding your little girl, you couldn’t help but want to be cuddled up with them as well.

You didn’t blame Hannah for being a daddy’s girl. He gave her everything she wanted and more. He was never the “bad cop” in the good cop, bad cop scenario. He always played the bad cop at work, you figured he needed to be the good cop sometimes.

You knew it was only a matter of time before his alarm would be going off for work and your two year old daughter would be waking up to say goodbye to him. Your pregnancy hormones were also no match for whatever time it was. Once it hit 6 am, you were already craving food for the day. All the Hotchners would be awake at 6am, whether it’s to get breakfast, coffee, or say goodbye to their dad.

A few weeks later, you found Aaron up really early. You didn’t know why, didn’t hear the phone ring or an alarm go off, so you decided to go find him.

You were currently 8 months pregnant with your third kid, so getting out of bed was a process. When you finally did go and find him, you saw the nursery light on. Taking a peak into the room before barging in, you saw him looking through the photo albums of Hannah, and your youngest daughter, Grace. Hannah and Grace were a little over 2 years a part. Their sister bond forming immediately when they met each other for the first time.

“Honey, it’s 3 in the morning, what are you doing up?”

“I couldn’t sleep. It’s Hannah’s first day of preschool today and I just, I don’t want her to go. It means she’s growing up. Time needs to slow down.”

“Aaron, you know better than anyone that time doesn’t slow down, it sometimes feels as if it speeds up.”

“She’s my little girl. I know I still have Gracie, but Han’s, Hannah’s my first little girl, she’s the one who made me a father.”

Aaron closed the photo album and grabbed it, then walked over to grab your hand and pull you back into your bedroom. Flipping on the lamp, he pulled you down onto the chair you had in the corner of the room. That chair had great usage and for a variety of things, too. Some of your most intimate moments with Aaron happened right on that chair.

When he pulled you into his lap, he placed a hand over your bump and flipped open the album. Both of you watched as you flipped through your daughter’s life for the past 4 years. Many silly and goofy pictures taken of Hannah, and Hannah with Grace, and great photos of Hannah and Aaron and Hannah and you. You were so glad you captured these moments that you could look back on.

“I’m not ready for her to go to school yet. Can we keep her home today.”

“No, Aaron, we can’t. We have things to do today. It’s better for her to go anyway. Your little girl has to start school sometime, whether you’re ready or not.”

“It’s one day.”

“Yeah, why do you think I chose her to start school in the middle of the week? So I can actually go with you to make sure that you’ll actually drop her off. I have no meetings today, I have a substitute teacher today, I can actually take a day off from work without having to worry about too much to catch up on.”

“I wasn’t going to let her skip the first day.”

“Aaron Hotchner! Don’t you lie to me.”

You both began to laugh as he said, “Okay. Fine.”

“Let’s get back to bed. We’ll get up early, make the girls breakfast. They love when Daddy makes waffles.”

“Then I can enjoy breakfast with my three favorite girls and baby #3.”

You kissed him once more and then he helped you get up. Once back into bed, you cuddled up with him and fell asleep. You were trying to wait for him to fall asleep first, but you were exhausted.

As you had a nice family breakfast with Aaron and the kids, it was then that time to get Hannah to pre-school. You had dropped Gracie off at daycare first and then Aaron drove you to the school Hannah would spend the next 5 years before moving into junior high.

As you got out of the car, Hannah grabbed her backpack and took Aaron’s hand. As Aaron held her hand, he also held yours. You could tell he was holding in the tears. He wanted to break down, he wasn’t ready for his little girl to grow up.

As soon as Aaron let go of her hand, Hannah immediately clinged onto his leg.

“I don’t want to go Daddy. Let me stay home with you.”

Aaron knelt down, quickly giving her a hug and telling her that everything would be okay. He would see her in just a few hours. She gave him another hug and he wiped her tears. Leaving a kiss on her forehead, you also saw the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. You placed your hand on his back, signaling to him that it was time for her to get going to school.

As he stood up, she held onto his leg even more. You peeled Hannah from his leg and gave her a hug. Hannah waved at you and Aaron as the teacher grabbed Hannah’s hand.

“What can I do? So it’ll be easier for her?”

“Mr. Hotchner, don’t you worry, it’ll only last a week or two. It won’t be like this for long. One day soon you’ll drop her off and she won’t even know you’re gone. This phase is going to fly by.”

You grabbed Aaron’s hand as he nodded and you both thanked her teacher. You watched as Hannah walked into school. Then that’s when you saw Aaron break down. This big bad FBI agent who never showed emotion at work, finally broke down.

As you wiped a tear from his cheek, you made your way back to your car. You had a few things you two had to get done but you wanted to hold onto this moment for a few more minutes before life continued on.

It was only a few weeks later that your 3rd baby was born, Aaron finally got his son. He was such a great girl dad, but you were glad you were able to have a boy. Both his girls could be princesses, but they weren’t afraid to get dirt on their hands either.

As you were laying in bed, trying to get some sleep after feeding your son, Nicholas, you then heard crying coming from down the hall. When you started to move, Aaron rolled over and kissed your head saying, “Get some sleep, I’ll take care of Hannah.”

“Thank you, Aaron.”

Aaron walked into Hannah’s room to find her sitting up and crying.

“What’s going on, Han?”

“Daddy, I heard a noise and it came from my closet. There might be a monster.”

“Daddy will check, I’m not going to let a monster hurt you.”

As Aaron carefully opened the closet, he saw a box had fallen down. Quickly picking it up and showing Hannah that it was just a box from one of her toys and that it was okay.

As Hannah had gone to use the bathroom and grab a drink of water, he couldn’t help that life was going fast, and that someday soon she’ll be a teenager. There won’t be this need for him anymore, no checking closets for scary monsters. He was soaking it all in. But he couldn’t help but think of Hannah as she was older.

“Dad! You’re so unfair! How come Gracie gets to go hangout with her friends but you’re keeping me hostage! Hello! Can I get the hostage hotline?”

“I’m not unfair, Grace hasn’t been drinking with her friend or sneaking out to her boyfriend’s house!”

“The only reason I’m sneaking out is because you lock me in a god damn tower 24/7.”

“Well, not really because I still let you hangout with some friends.”

She groaned at him and rolled her eyes. As she stomped up to her room and slammed her door, you couldn’t help but look at Aaron.

“Aaron, Hannah’s a good kid. She does well in school, her boyfriend treats her great.”

“She probably hates me, but that’s my little girl. I’m not going to just let her go hangout at her boyfriend’s house, who is 2 years older by the way.”

“Aaron, they’ve been best friends since she was in 3rd grade. We know his family. He grew up in our neighborhood, they played on the same soccer team since we always had her playing up.”

“I know you’re right, but it feels like just yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital and sending her off to preschool. Now she’s got a boyfriend. I don’t care who he is, no guy will ever be good enough for my little girl.”

**5 years later**

While Hannah didn’t date her best friend for much longer when they went to different colleges, she did find someone who was great, if not better for her than her first boyfriend was, and it took Aaron only a few times to recognize that.

When Hannah’s boyfriend showed up to the house, asking Aaron for Hannah’s hand in marriage, it only made him think back to the little girl he brought home as a newborn, who would cry and have him worrying 24/7.

She’s turned into a beautiful young woman, one who was smart as well and knew that her boyfriend was good for her. He was the perfect man in her eyes, he shared a lot of morals that her father had and for that, she was grateful she had such an amazing father to look up to and set standards for her boyfriend.

It wasn’t long before he was walking her down the aisle and raising her veil, giving his little girl away to the love of her life, a good man. As long as his little girl was happy, he was happy.

When Hannah got into bed, sniffles coming from her, in which he didn’t mind that it was only 4am, and he’d have to be up in an hour for work, he kissed her goodnight. He laid down beside her until her eyes were finally closed, just watching her it broke his heart because he already knows, it won’t be like this for long.

One day soon his little girl was going to be all grown up and gone. He knows the phase is going to fly by, so he’s trying to hold on. He knows it won’t be like this for long.

[buffythevampirelover]

Mine

And though I call you mine, I know you will never belong to me. I could never grab your light, hold it steadily in my palms, no matter how hard I tried. Nor does anyone grab their God and pin it in place. Mine in the sense that I worship you; chest beating, always bleeding, bruised knees and all. I live for you, and with you always on my mind, always right beside me— or at least not far behind. You cannot capture someone else but you can carry and hold and caress the love you have for them. And that, too, shines bright. It burns your fingertips. It tastes sweet on your lips. It is fully yours, when your heart is not. When there is nothing else to hold.

[showtoonzfan]

Still not over the way Viv refuses to make Stella and Octavia their own fucking characters outside of Stolas. She’s so unfocused when it comes to them, we still have no IDEA what their relationship is like because Viv’s too focused on sucking up to Stolas and milking how Uwu sad he is. It’s so weird because despite Stella coming off as someone who acts like her daughter legit doesn’t exist and seems to not care for her, at the same time there’s clearly indications that she does. She takes Octavia away for the weekends, and that’s something she wouldn’t do if she didn’t care about her. If she didn’t care about Octavia at all, she would probably leave her at the house with Stolas while she goes out and does whatever she wants. However at THIS point, I wouldn’t be surprised if the writers wanted Stella to take Octavia away as an excuse for more cheap drama. Who knows, maybe Stella just does it so she can torment Stolas more, taking his daughter away and rubbing it in his face, because she’s SUCH a nuanced character with a complex motivation guys!

Then there’s the “No I’m not turning her against you!”- line from Stolas from over the phone, responding to Stella. Viv…..Adam…..Brandon….pick ONE. Does Stella care about her daughter or not? Because these writers clearly can’t make up their minds and it shows. Is she someone who does not care what Octavia does and sees her as a useless speck, just an egg that slipped out of her and nothing more, is she someone who doesn’t care but wants to use her for pride and control against Stolas, or does she deep down…care about her, but is too blinded by her rage towards Stolas? Oh wait, she’s none of those because Stella clearly isn’t 2 or 3 dimensional. She’s a tool, she’s a pawn, the key to all of Stolas’s drama and the evil bad obstacle he has to face that is this fanfiction ass show. She’s the evil bad abuser who can’t let poor Uwu Stolas be happy. She’s the villain but not a character. I have the feeling Viv will eventually try to make her sympathetic or nuanced so she can flex about how good at writing she is and how deep her demon swear word show is, but even doing that won’t work because you’ve already shown to your audience that there’s nothing there. Like….she’s just a 1 dimensional evil tool and that’s it. There’s literally no saving Stella at this point because Viv has gone out of her way to portray her as a heartless bitch so…thanks for wasting a female character completely.

[prismaticpichu]

I love you peoples ❤️ Ty for making my online life better. Seriously.

That’s it. Just felt the need to say it. Have an amazing rest of your weekend <3

[the-kipsabian]

you know what i was gonna vent post but fuck it positivity moment instead cause whatever is inside of me thats making me sad it can be overruled by the people that still unconditionally love me and i know that and it means everything to me

[shesaidhello-hello]

i miss being in love

[nikothebookdragon]

.

[sappyscarab]

warm summer nights and cold winter days are all the same when i still live in your haze.

fall brings scenery the color of your eyes. causing forbidden thoughts to arise. the wind caresses me where your hands should be. i can only hope you understand what this implies.

though these words will never meet your gaze…i’ll say it quite simply so you’re not lost in my maze.

i want you to wrap your hoodie around me on chilly winter nights. i’d like to know what a slight touch would ignite.

i just want to know your smell and if it would linger on my sweater after saying farewell. i’m curious how your hand would feel along my spine, or if your face gets red when your eyes catch mine.

i’ll continue to live in this daydream knowing my words won’t cross your mind, they may as well be lost in time.

Sappy Scarab

[kohakhearts]

last day of work for this semester and one of my students (keep in mind this is an two-month-long once-a-week weekend program lol) gave me a gift with a little tag that says “to taylor <3 the best teacher” and its very cute… completely blindsided me bc this kid hadn’t given any indication she Liked me (usually its not hard to tell but i guess its easier when you see them every day vs once a week) but it made my day. ik the 11-14 age range can be brutal for many but god they can be so sweet too

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[izloveshorses]

a year ago today i was on a plane to paris for the first time with a whole month-long solo trip ahead of me

[euesworld]

"You look sad, wanna smile? Just lick your lips and close your eyes and I'll take you for a ride.."

Dry those tears, don't you cry.. just look around, the world is brighter by the light of your sunshine - eUë

[spaced-out-cosmos]

do you ever feel so much that you’re like choked up by it. like not even Bad Feelings they can be good feelings but they’re just all knotted up in your chest

[longlive2023]

.

[sappyscarab]

i ask about your day but you don’t care to hear about mine. tell me everything is fine, can’t help feeling that you’re distant all the time.

because you don't look at me the same way and don’t hear the words that i say. so let’s not keep stringing this along if i’m not who call home, anymore.

the messages i send still stay on read, i can't imagine not wanting to know what you said. being left behind has become something i expect, but you were supposed to be the exception of that reoccurring deception.

your touch feels so far away. my light has almost turned to gray. if you can't stand to see my face just tell me you want your space. i can't let go on my own so please just let me know with grace.

Sappy Scarab

[animazed]

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