#ahhhhh I’m too embarrassed to even say it here
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animazed · 2 years ago
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#what an interesting night#a few days ago a guy randomly messaged me on reddit asking about what I felt the effects of Reddit were on my yiddishkeit#and boy did things go on from there#fast forward to tonight#and basically#ahhhhh I’m too embarrassed to even say it here#but we talked over the phone for a few hours and each of us had a turn for it to get really intense so to speak#he’s a very sweet guy - shy and naïve but so willing to open up to feel comfortable#it’s really interesting#and then there’s me of course who has no shame talking about any subject whatsoever#we have been thinking about each other and really enjoying our phone conversations#tonight I’m feeling a full range of emotions - from curious to intrigued to ‘playful’ and even a bit flirty#to wanting him to feel good and just kind of relaxing together and just enjoying each other’s company#then after I got a bit lonely and then kind of thought of Joey and just got sad#but countered with this crush type thing going on#to wondering if I’m really just a bad influence to all#and how not caring about certain mitzvos makes me a bad Jew and really just unsure of why I have this crazy dichotomy in me#and I’m just not sure but I know I’m lonely and it hasn’t been six months yet but I’m so desperate for a relationship and to feel loved#and of course it doesn’t help that I’m on my period and just read sole sappy love stories cuz it never does#and how my life is just kind of a mess right now and I’m failing the tests Hashem keeps putting in front of me#and I don’t know what to do about it#and it makes me sad#about ALL the situations I’m current in#and I just idk#I wanna go to England#rant#I wanna feel pleasure and just be hugged by someone#why is it so hard to get married and live a Torah life?
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dumplingsjinson · 10 months ago
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List of “stuff that happened between us which will forever live in my mind rent free” prompts
“I’m happy that you’re happy.” (DEWLKLDEWDSWL,SDL, FUCKKK)
Character A repeatedly kissing Character B’s lips, both giggling softly when they pull away from each other. (YUMI’S CELLS SEASON 2 I’M THANKING YOU FOR THIS KSKSKS) 
“You’ll always be beautiful in my eyes no matter what,” Character B murmurs after Character A tells them how insecure they are over their body. (Him reassuring me when I was spilling my guts to him and everything was everything I didn’t know I needed until now ajskks 😭 And him saying he doesn't judge lksefnklewn)
“I’m scared you’ll leave me once you see everything,” Character A murmurs, face buried in Character B’s chest. “Why would you think that?” Character B questions, a frown heard in the tone of their voice without Character A needing to look up at them; as if they think it’s ludicrous that Character A would even think they’d leave them for something like that.  (NaHH THE WAY HE SOUNDED DISAPPOINTED WHEN I SAID THAT, for even thinking that he’d leave me for that, and then trying to comfort me after, I feel so bad for doubting him omg 😭😭😭)
“Touch yourself for me, yeah?” Character B murmurs into Character A’s ear; watches as a flustered looking Character A slowly does as they’re told. (HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS HELLOOOOOOOOO- IT’S THE FACT THAT HE ADDED THE “FOR ME” PART THAT MADE ME BECOME SO FUCKING FLUSTERED even though I did suggest it when we met last week and he was like “only if you want to” sAURR LIKE… was this invitation on his mind for a whole week LMFAOO. AND WHEN HE KEPT TELLING ME “good girl” or “that’s my baby girl” WHILE I WAS- JWKCKAS AHHHHH)
“You’re doing such a good job. That’s my baby girl/boy.” 
Character B slowly undressing Character A, at the request of Character A, because Character A is too shy to undress themselves in front of them. (PLEASE THE WAY HE JUST SLOWLY AJFKAKFK HELPPPPPPPP EVERYTHING ABOUT IT WAS SO TENDER??? LIKE DAMN)
“I don’t like the way my calves look. They’re too bulky, you know?” Character A sighs. “Well, I think it’s fine,” Character B says. “How’s it fine?” Character A whines. Character B chuckles in an abashed manner, then says, “It makes them squishier, after all.” (And then he proceeded to say he doesn’t like how his own calves look just to make me feel better, god I fucking LOVE HIM)
Character A being extremely vulnerable with Character B, and Character B listening attentively and reassuring them as much as they can.
“I’m sorry for ruining the mood,” Character A murmurs, face buried on their chest, and Character B chuckles softly. “It’s fine, don’t apologise,” Character B murmurs, stroking their fingers through their hair. “I’m here for you after all. I’m here to listen.”
“You’re so pretty, you know?” Character B mumbles, brushing a strand of hair behind Character A’s ear. (Him saying that while I was being vulnerable melted my heart TT TT AND ALSOOO WHEN HE WAS SAYING THAT WHILE I WAS ON TOP OF HIM HHWHEWHH) 
Character B littering kisses on Character A’s bare chest and saying, “You’re so soft.” (I just.. need a MOMENT)
Sloppy kisses while dry humping. (I mean I enjoyed them, and what of it??) 
“I’ve seen everything. And I’ve tasted everything. Literally,” Character B says with a chuckle as they surface from the sheets and from between Character A’s thighs to snuggle with Character A, and Character A groans, hiding their face behind their hands in utter embarrassment. (Yep. He’s seen literally everything AND had a taste by now and I’m SO FUCKING LWKENFLKWEFNLKENWFW—)
“I’m so embarrassed,” Character A groans as Character B holds them to them. “Don’t be embarrassed,” Character B says with a chuckle. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s just you and me, after all.” 
“Fuck, I wanna feel you against me,” Character A murmurs. (I said that, sir, yes I did. And what aBOUT IT—)
Character B kissing Character A on the cheek during one of those self-service photo booth sessions, which catches Character A off-guard. (AND WHEN I UPLOAD THE PIC- jk) 
Character B pressing kisses against Character A’s forehead while they’re fucking. (We weren’t technically fucking, but it was close lmfao) 
Character A clenching Character’s A’s head between their thighs as Character B eats them out, fingers going in and out of them sporadically. (The finger AND TONGUE COMBO PLEASEEE) 
Character A repeatedly apologising for dumping their feelings and vulnerabilities on Character B every time they see each other and Character B telling them it’s fine and that they’ll always be here to listen to them. (Please, I love this man so much) 
Character B slapping Character A’s ass while they’re using their phone, ass high up in the air. “What was that for?!” Character A whines, turning to glare at Character B. “That’s revenge for you doing that to me,” Character B says with a triumphant grin. (Yes we are at tHAT level of comfort with each other and YES I like slapping his ass. And don’t ask me why I was looking at my phone while in that position, it’s difficult to explain-)
Character B calling Character A cute and adorable while they’re messing around, because apparently Character A will always be adorable to them no matter what they do. 
Character B showering Character A with compliments and praises which flusters Character A every single goddamn time, and Character A telling Character B to shut up every time they compliment them because they don’t know how to take compliments. 
“God, I’m so wet/hard.” “And I don’t see a problem with that?” “Uhhh, no, there’s no problem but it is your fault that this is happening.” (FUCKING TEASE- IOEWFEKLKEWN) 
“Tell me when you want me to stop, okay?” Character B murmurs, glancing up at Character A from between their thighs, and something about that sight will forever remain etched in Character A’s mind. 
“As I’ve always said, we have all the time in the world, and I want you to be comfortable.” (HE IS AN ANGEL, PLSSS) 
“I’m happy you got out of your comfort zone,” Character B murmurs, cuddling Character A close to their chest. (ThE SWEETEST BOYFRIEND I’M TELLING YOU) 
Character B covering Character A with a blanket, knowing that they’re still feeling a little self-conscious over having their body exposed like this. (And him draping the blanket over us both as he cuddled close to me welkfnekwn I’m fiNISHED) 
Character B taking their time with Character A, going at a pace that Character A’s comfortable with. (He was so attentive the whole time TT TT)
Character B brushing Character A’s hair behind their ears to unhide their face; just so they could take a better look at them. (It’s even more EWLFKNEWFKN when he does it while we’re messing around, because I’m covering my face with my hair on purpose because I’m self-conscious as fuck, while he wants to see my face lmfaooo) 
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mikeyss1ut · 6 months ago
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Can a I request a moodboard for ponyboy x reader?
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HERES SOME HEAD CANNONS FOR DATING PONY TOO BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!
• his love language is probably a mix of quality time & words of affirmation
• Y’all have this like old school type of love which I know in the time was the normal love but in greaser relationships it’s usually more toxic and yall are anything but that.
• he’s a hopeless romantic!! Don’t make the rules
• Soda probably loves you ngl, he’s happy Pony’s happy. And Darry’s not against you just hopes you won’t break Pony’s heart
• He’s not super big of PDA but he holds your hand a lot, anywhere, everywhere.
• writes you poems or writes stories about love and about a boy and a girl who are in love and he doesn’t give them names he just says boy and girl and there all about you and him and he makes you read them and your just like <33 “I’m so in love with him”
• he also writes you poems in the classes you guys have together and gives them to you. There usually about how pretty you are and he writes them about your outfit or how you look that day
• Your guys dates consist of Dine dates but mostly dates where he reads you a book <33
• Like I said he’s not big on PDA but he’ll get a new book that he either saved up to buy or stole and he takes you to a park and you guys sit on the bench and you lay your head in his lap while he reads the book and plays with your hair <333
AHHHHH
• He’s so in love with you oml
•The gang teases him but he doesn’t really care even if he’s a little embarrassed because at the end of the day at least he’s in love, and has an amazing person he’s so enthralled by.
• He cuddles you by just letting you lay on his shoulder (awhh my baby)
• you guys hang out pretty much everyday after school, either studying, getting into trouble with Dally and Johnny, or taking a after school nap on the couch.
• On days that Soda is off and comes home and sees yall on the couch he’ll take a picture (Ik they didn’t have like phones but they at least had cameras so we can pretend)
• If your on vacation or on a road trip or visiting family or really any occasion where we can’t see you all the time he’ll write you letters and mail them to you <33
OKAY THATS ALL I LOVE YOU!
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billskeis · 1 year ago
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Could you write bill or tom fluff with an s/o that has like chronic pain or iron deficiency?
(Love your work btw)💕💕💕
ᡣ𐭩 kaulitz twins w iron deficient gf
you and tom were sitting on the couch together cuddling, bill, georg and gustav left the studio go to grab take-out from the local pizza place nearby. you had your head leaned on tom’s shoulder, watching tv as his arm that wrapped around you was caressing your shoulder.
“we’re back!”
you hear bill yell as shoes were being kicked off and plastic bags were rustling from being swung around softly.
“welcome back!” bill, georg and gustav set everything down on the coffee table in the studio. “oh! y/n and i even got you the chicken wings you wanted, tom told me too,” bill said.
“really!? oh my gosh! thank you!!” you begin to lift up your body in excitement because you haven’t had those wings in like forever, as you came to stand, your blood pressure drops a little too fast and you feel extremely dizzy.
you find yourself flopping back down, not into the couch but into tom’s lap who was still sitting down, “woah! princess you good??” everybody looked at you now a little concerned. his hands now on each one your arms holding them.
“shit—yeah! i just get dizzy whenever i do that,” you reassure everyone and they go back to whatever they’re doing, except tom who clings on to you tightly.
you feel yourself getting a little embarrassed at the excessive public display of affection, but nobody seems to care.
“tom? i’m hungry, let me please get a plate before the chicken wings run out,” you both turn to look at the three other boys scarfing down the food quickly it might finish if you blink once more.
“hold on baby, let me get you a plate,” tom lifts you off his lap and places you onto the soft plush couch gently to go get a plate from the coffee table, “tom! it’s okay—“ “don’t even try y/n, he won’t let you, you’re his little princess after all,” georg snickers while tom punches his arm.
“so what if she is?” tom asks while georg shrugs his shoulder, taking a large bite of his pizza.
arranging the foods onto the paper plate, tom puts an array of a pizza slice, breadsticks and the chicken wings he specifically requested for you. “HEY! gustav no more wings those are for y/n,” as he swats away gustav’s hand that seemingly reached for another.
you didn’t know he asked for them, how sweet.
he sits down beside you, handing the plate, “thanks tom, you didn’t have to..” “oh but i did, though. i did have to because you just deserve to just sit here and eat. you take care of me all the time so let me do this for you,” you laugh at him while taking your pizza off the plate.
“ahhhhh~,” tom opens his mouth to welcome the pizza that WAS for you in a joking manner, stopping when you role your eyes sarcastically at him. instead, you take a big bite of the pizza to which he pouts dramatically, then laughing at he quickly kisses your cheek as you chew on the delicacy of pizza.
god, you love this man.
⋆*ೃ༄
“thank you so much bill, you really didn’t have to cook tonight,” you say as he sets down tonight’s dinner containing steak, mash potatoes and asparagus, “nonsense! you’re my girlfriend after all.”
he smiles brightly and looks proudly towards the food he made.
“oh! hold on a second, he gets up from the seat beside you to grab something from the fridge,” you watch him in curiosity until he turns around and shows you a,
orange..?
“babe, an orange?” you ask, he sits down beside you, beginning to peel the fruit, “ja! i heard it helps you absorb the iron in your food better, the steak is still hot so while it cools you can snack on this before.”
so he actually did research huh..
as he finishes peeling the orange, he begins removing the orange pith, the spongey veins begin to clear off the fruit as it reveals its more vivid colour, you kiss bill on the forehead looking at him and awe and he shy’s away looking down.
“you’re too sweet bill,” you lean your arm on the table as you rest your head on your hand staring at him, he doesn’t know where to look as you can see his cheeks are tinted a rosy pink, “thank you, meine liebe.. now say ahhhh~”
you open your mouth to welcome the slice of orange he so particularly peeled for you, a little of the juice spills out the corner of your mouth as you rush to eat the fruit.
they’re super sweet.
bill takes his thumb and wipes off the juice that began to run down corner of your mouth and face. taking his thumb away he suckles on the tip of it to get the juice that was once on your face into his mouth.
why the fuck is he so hot and cute at the same time!?
“stop doing that..” you say, “stop doing what?” “BEING HOT AND CUTE AT THE SAME TIME!” he laughs at you and shakes his head, he then picks up another slice of orange to hold towards your mouth, “my hotness and cuteness could never compare to yours,” “oh please!”
as you finish slice by slice of the orange, he feeds each and every one piece to you, not letting you do it yourself even thought your very much capable of doing so. after eating the last slice he gives you a kiss on the kips and licks his lips after.
“shall we eat?”
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my-memed-tw-adventures · 1 year ago
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Book 3 — Chapter 35
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Yeah Leona. Could say the same to you bitch
Also the fuck does Jade mean? Azul’s still in shock?? Was he not holding up 8 fingers???? Ahhhhh
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FLOYD PLEASE
These two really have two completely separate ways to go about the situation huh. Jade is trying to make sure Azul is okay while Floyd is just immediately reminding him how much he just embarrassed himself
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Yeah fucking I didn’t think it was possible. Azul deserves at least a lil praise for the shit he made cause if even Grim can get an A, who can’t
And Jack’s right. Do your own work friendos. And if you need help, get it from anyone but Azul
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Ohhhhhh boo hoo Azul. Awww poor baby awwwwww boooooo
This fucking man lol. Just accept the friggin compliments!
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HAHAHA. Deserved. Jade and Floyd are great. Also bro Azul an NDA? Really??? Bold of you to assume that would stop them
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NAH HAND THAT SHIT OVER AND LEMME LOOK AT CUTE LITTLE AZUL BABY!
I’m very sad there’s no official smol Azul or tweel photos *starts manifesting baby art in the Octavinelle manga*
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HE IS SO CUTE! I JUST WISH I COULD SEE IT!
Also I have no idea what Ruggie is saying. Is he just saying Azul’s a little chub? Cause the whole “holding the pic at an angle” bit confuses me
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Yeah I wouldn’t have pegged Deuce as the one to be so passionate about Azul’s desire to bury his cute chubby past.
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Yeah, Azul! God when did Grim learn to say smart things? Also damn Azul is dedicated to getting rid of every photo. Though I assume his mom has an underwater scrapbook somewhere with a bunch more photos
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*pat pat* Yeah please don’t be too hung up, Azul. Past is the past. Mans really needs to not let his cute little chub self get to his head because he’s a completely different person now and goddamn he needs therapy just like everyone else
I love Floyd too. Azul has just gone through what’s probably the most embarrassing moment of his life and Floyd over here talking about how nommy Azul used to be. Never change bro
Masterlist
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dokoni-mo · 2 years ago
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Heya! I absolutely adore your writing of Crave and I heavily look forward to seeing more of your work! It’s amazing and your version of William in here is just.. perfect! Words cannot describe how much I love your Crave William!
I have some questions about these two! For example, how would William handle a situation in which he and his lovely Bunny are talking, but Bunny’s too ashamed, embarrassed, shy, etc to give proper words.
Second question would be how William and Bunny spends the holidays! What are their favorite holidays and what would they do?
And last question (I am so sorry for all the questions I’m just so curious about this all, AAA!!) I noticed when you replied to another user that you said Bunny wasn’t very vocally clingy! Would this mean that they’re more Physically clingy? How clingy are they in general and how does Sir react to this? :O
P.S
Thanks for answering all of our questions! And just.. generally being active and lovely! Apologies if I’ve annoyed you with the length of this!
Hiiii there! Thank you so so much for reading ahhhhh it means a lot!! I can def help you out with these!! Its no problem at all :)))
1 - in terms if bunny was too shy to say something, i can see will just thinking its really cute that youre still shy around him after like,, everthing loolllll
BUT he is still very much big about like, you vocally telling him what you want, even if its pretty obvious. Its mostly because he likes hearing bunny say how much they love and want him and what they want him to do to them, but also because he doesnt wanna get the wrong idea of what you want and potentially make you uncomfortable. If youre too shy to tell him he'd just gently try and coax it out of you, reassuring you with his soft touches and kisses and all that good stuff. He's pretty patient when it comes to you, so he's happy to wait for you to muster up the courage
2 - oooo holidays?? i didnt really think about that too much!!
I can see Will not being a big fan of holidays tbh. Like, hes just really generally old and grumpy when it comes to that sort of thing LOL but if you enjoy the holidays he'd at least TRY to have a good time. Out of all of the holidays I can see him liking Christmas the best, even though he's not religious (at least, in my version of him he isnt). He just finds that people are more tolerable around christmas time, and there's just something peaceful about having a busy year wind down to him.
Michael doesnt want anything to do with Will around the holidays so he often just spends it at his mom's house with his siblings. It never bothered will (because he doesnt want anything to do with michael either) and it REALLY doesnt bother him since getting with his bunny. with you off of school and stuff he just has you over at his house the entire time you're on break. He also takes a shit load of time off work and just stays home with you.
I can see him liking a nice cuddle session by the fire when its REALLY cold out :))
3 - so i didn't talk about this one too much in Crave because i didnt really know how to explain it,, but im glad you caught on!!
Bunny is more physically clingy, but only because its a learned behavior they learned from Will. Will can be really handsy when his bun is over, like you practically cant get away from him. He likes to be touching you in some way at all times (holding hands, sitting you on his lap, guiding you with his hand on your back, etc), and you just kinda,, pick up on it. Being close to him helps his bunny feel safe, and he's more than happy to reciprocate. He knows words can be hard for his little bun at times, so when he's not teasing your words out of you, he's perfectly happy to just have you nestled up close to him
hope this makes sense anon!! feel free to send in any more questions you have :))))
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greyeyedmonster-18 · 11 months ago
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hello!
my friend montana and i are buddy reading clear eyes, full hearts (can't lose either way), and i have to swoon at you a little. it’s beautiful. i, a fan of sports au’s and a hater of sports in real life, am besotted.
montana is a big friday night lights fan and i have very briefly seen bits here and there so have 0 context but let me tell you, i’m having the time of my life. i’ve just finished chapter 4 and i am livid to have had to stop so she and i can discuss it all.
i have been s c r e a m i n g with second hand embarrassment and also a lot of love for remus and sirius’ interactions. don’t get me started on james, lilly, effie and the rest. i knew going into this i would love it but oh my god. oh my GOD.
anyways, i just wanted to stop by and say hello and thank you for yet again writing something so lovely.
have the very best weekend! ♥️✨
ahhhhh! I am so glad to hear you are enjoying this silly little football fic! even as a sports hater! thank you for reading!
also, im so flattered and its very sweet that you and a friend are reading this fic like a book club. unbelievable, amazing. i had to check the fic this morning to remember what Chapter 4 was and will let you know to be prepared for even more second hand embarrassment via remus. and a little bit of sirius too.
<3
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tarrenterror25 · 2 years ago
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Oooh this headcanon game is fun! Could I please ask these 2 for Alfred? 💕
♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon
♒ - cooking/food headcanon
AHHHHH 💖
I am overjoyed that you sent me an ask 🥺💖
Also I’m nervous to answer these being you are an Alfred connoisseur 😭💕
Okay, I apologize because I may have, no I did get carried away with this.
I thought long and hard about these and became very passionate about them!
I wrote these with Alfred Pennyworth from both Batman 2022 and Gotham in mind because I love them both 💖
I hope you like them! 🥺
Quirks/Hobbies:
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Bruce is asleep most of the day and crime fighting at night. Alfred takes on most of the upkeep of their home on his own as well as some business matters. What does he do with his free time? Sure, he reads, but he doesn't strike me as a stranger to working with his hands so he itches for something to DO.
He's delved into cooking, interior decorating, and even gardening/flower arranging. He's busied himself with all this stuff because until Bruce calls him in the middle of the night, all he has is time and it's going to be spent doing something or worrying about Bruce. He is the level-headed of the two and can't do the latter so he busies himself with the Tower, but discovered (thanks to Bruce) these tasks are more or less work related.
"You need a hobby, Alfred. A real one; not anything that has to do with taking care of the place."
By happenstance Alfred discovered an interest in miniatures and dioramas.
With encouragement from Bruce, Alfred has a hidden space set up for this hobby that's all his own. Bruce calls is his craft space, but Alfred insists it's a "work" space. "Craft" sounds too whimsical and Alfred is a tad bit embarrassed about it.
This is his escape from Gotham, from chaos. Alfred can be in a sunny village where it never rains or a bookstore with a quiet cafe where there’s no fear of Arkham escapees running down the street.
Alfred rolls up his sleeves, puts on his specs, and makes most of the pieces himself. Bruce showed him some videos of people making pieces and sets, but their methods look too messy. Still, Bruce caught Alfred taking a gas mask from the batcave and followed him to where Alfred was experimenting with some resin.
The biggest draw to this hobby is not that these dioramas are neat and orderly, but that Alfred makes them lived in.
His life is dedicated to Bruce and Bruce is dedicated to being Batman. Neither of them are bringing anyone around anytime soon so most of the Tower is untouched. Alfred busies himself with changing bed covers that haven’t been slept in, fluffs pillows that haven’t been depressed, and cleans a floor that hasn’t had the pleasure of a footprint.
Here in his workspace there is a dining room set for four with food on the table, a fresh painter’s palette in the art studio, and a restaurant with candles for diners.
Bruce teased Alfred a little by adding pieces like clothes strewn about and some grunge vinyl records.
“I’m not trying to have this be a replica of your room, Master Bruce.” Alfred, using some craft tweezers, plucks the clothes and puts them way in the closet and neatly stacks the records on a shelf.
Alfred keeps his dioramas tucked away neatly in a glass curio cabinet!
Cooking/Food
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Cooking when Bruce was a boy was much better, even if he hardly ate anything, but now? God, Alfred Pennyworth wishes he could go back to cooking one damn decent meal more often.
He has had to resort to researching the more nutritional side of food and makes nutrient packed concoctions for older Bruce who doesn’t have time to eat. Much faster to drink something. (Enter the green drink Alfred brings him to the batcave). Bruce gets embarrassed when Alfred walks up with his drink and insists they just buy some for him to keep in a mini fridge in the batcave.
“No,” Alfred says. “More artificial ingredients are the last thing your body needs. It’s bad enough when you lose sleep and eat all that other rubbish.”
“Alfred, I don’t think one snack is gonna-”
Alfred gives a pointed look to where there’s energy drink cans and fast food bags in a waste bin.
“As I was saying,” he says setting the drink down on a coaster next to Bruce.
Much to his dismay, he has made great friends with the blender and his least favorite, the microwave. Look, taking care of Bruce is sometimes like having a toddler: sure they’re eating pizza rolls for the fourth bloody time, but at least they’re eating damn it! Definitely makes/tries to make homemade versions of Bruce’s favorite snacks. At least he feels better about what he’s feeding the boy.
As much as he is a stickler for Bruce’s health, Alfred has a wicked sweet tooth!
He’s very busy so he loves the ones that are small enough to pick up and eat in one or a few bites as he goes about his day.
Macarons, petit fours, and fruit tarts are some of his favorites!
The fruit flavored desserts he finds refreshing on the palette especially with his tea.
Bruce found some desserts on a tray on the kitchen counter and walked by thinking he’ll come back to them later. Every time he passes by there’s one less. He passes by again and there’s another gone, again and now there’s two missing? Wait, now they’re all gone?
Alfred casually walks by with the morning paper munching on a cookie.
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chocosvt · 1 year ago
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hi choco… how are u? i’m writing here for the first time bc i need to share something that’s making me crazy rn.. a few days ago me and my friends went to my best friend’s house for a sleepover and we all ended up drinking and getting wasted yk… and then my best friend’s brother and his friends joined us too. tbh, i never rly denied it but her brother is so handsome like….. VERY VERY HANDSOME. so when we were all drinking, i knew i wasn’t sober AT ALL n so i started flirting with him omfg. keep in mind that i’ve never had a proper conversation with him, so everyone was surprised that we were talking a lot that night. AND YK… he kept flirting back *head in hands* he even gave me his phone number and wanted to share his ice cream with me and shit… bro had me giggling like a highschooler, i was going crazy (literally, bc he was also shirtless haha…). when we were about to go to sleep, he kept whining and asking my best friend if i could sleep with him on his bed. i think it took them almost an hour to say that i wasn’t going to sleep with him help…… overall it was a crazy night and the morning after when my friends told me what happened I WAS EMBARRASSED AS FUCK.
bc i’m very shy when sober LOL. he was the last one to wake up n OFC he sat next to me and started teasing me… he was like “do i have to make you drink again for you to talk to me?” 😭 i swear all of this just reminded me of your joshua’s best friend’s brother fic too.. CUZ WHY CAN’T I STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM NOW… i know we were both drunk but fuck... i want to text him so bad but i’m too shy and ik he’s never going to like me i’m hahshwhsjshahshsjs .
um um um um um um um um um um
TBH! i think it was a good decision to not sleep in his bed LOL bc obviously when you're inebriated your judgement isn't the most concrete and i would hate for you to make a foggy decision you might have the possibility of regretting? esp cuz you said you've never rly talked before! he seemed kinda pushy for it to happen and idk if he was as equally drunk as you but UM JUST BE CAREFUL OF THE POWER DYNAMIC like ahhhhh i don't want you to be taken advantage of or anything!
i definitely understand wanting to chase that high of being in the moment. but you have his number so you can easily text him and establish more ground. like maybe he was interested in you pre sleep over and yknow "liquid courage" so you two had more initiative to talk! but yeah overall i think your friends made the right call! it's okay to be shy and it's normal to get looser when you drink!! obviously don't rely on alcohol as a crutch to gain confidence but yeah if you think it's worth pursuing then texting him won't hurt!
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littleroaes · 1 year ago
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i love this series moni!!!!!!!! wether changmin and yn are friends pining or whatever i love them together! i dont think im ready for part 3 lol 
im a bit sad though for jacob! hes so sweet in this one and i kinda like them together:((((((( im rooting for both helpppp
moments im saving:
“It’s just… this dream; it felt so real for a second,” he starts as he plays with the loose ends of his blanket. And not even a second passes when Chanhee exclaims the words, “Oh my god, did you have a sex dream about Y/N?!” He eyes him up and down. “W-what? No!” “Oh, I see why you’ve been avoiding them,” Sunwoo chuckles, ignoring his best friend’s protests.
We’ll that was straightforward lol 
Sunwoo shakes his head before sharing his two cents. Clearly, he wanted to play the shithead in a situation like this (like he always does).“No way, I’m starting to think Changmin is developing a crush on Y/N.” He gives the stressed-out boy a teasing smile. “Aren’t you?” “W-what?! No! I’m not, what the fuck?” From his panicked answer, Chanhee shakes his head with a small smile on his face. “See, then it means nothing,” He attempts to calm the situation down as he stands up from the bed. “It’s normal to just have dreams like that. It won’t mean much unless you put meaning into it.” His best friend is right; it is normal to have nonsensical dreams. Changmin has had dreams about outrageous events such as Gana (his pet poodle) learning how to talk, his sisters deciding to move back into the family home, and even coming face-to-face with his celebrity crush. These dreams are not always manifestations of what he desires—which is why he does not understand why he is still riled up about some dream where you two almost kissed.
Cmon Mann we knowwww
The boy who you were going to cross paths with looks in your direction. As soon as his cat-like eyes recognize you, he gives you a smile and jogs towards you. “Hi, Y/N. I didn’t expect to see you around here.”
Ahh that’s so cute to picture 
“Actually, there was no practice today. Coach let us have a bit of time to rest but I wanted to practice.” When Juyeon reveals that, you cannot help but feel the anxiety start to pool in your stomach. To be fair, you might have misunderstood him when he rushed out. Changmin did not owe you anything, but you still cannot stop the ill feeling brewing inside you. You do not allow yourself to cry.
Nooooo don’t be sad ynnn 
You shake your head and free one of your hands from his grasp. Your hand reaches out for the underside of his chin so that you could lift his face. And with that action, Changmin feels his breath hitch. 
So nervous right nowww
He sighs as he finally lets go of your hands. “It’s… embarrassing,” he whispers the last word with shame overtaking his body once more. “It can’t be that bad,”
Is he actually gonna do it!!!????????
“God, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he whispers to himself. As he notices a frown appear on your face, he shakes his head. “Just, please do not judge when I say this.” Your frown stays, curious to hear what he has to say. “Before anything, I respect you, okay?” When he says those words, you cannot help but let a chuckle slip out. “I know that, don’t worry.” “Yes, but… ugh, I don’t know how to say this,” he mutters as he thinks about the best way to share what has been bothering him.
I could never im very impressed lol
It takes you a moment to process his words. Yet, before he could say more, you found yourself saying, “Oh.”
Ahhhhhhh
“If it helps, I’ve dreamt about you too.”
Ahhhhh again lol
“Well, that’s Sunwoo for you. If it helps, he was also the first person I told about my dream of you.”
The middle mannnnnn
“Did you have a sex dream about me?”
Getting brave all of a sudden Mann
“Oh my god, you did!” He exclaims with eyebrows raised over the revelation. “When did you have it?” When all he receives is an eye roll from you, he decides to push further. “C’mon! Like you said, my dream does not mean anything as much as yours doesn’t.” You sigh out in frustration before you frown at the boy across from you. “First year of college—it was after I saw your recital where you performed “BOSS” by NCT,” you shyly admit as you avoid his gaze. Although you refuse to look at him, you can feel how his eyes bore into you. “Really? You liked that fit on me?” He asks smugly to which you groan. “I’m kidding!” You roll your eyes once more as you let him finally take some spoonfuls of his bibimbap.
When those words slip out of your mouth, a weight is dropped right on top of his heart. The last time he felt like this was when Hwang Hyunjin was offered the center position for one of the routines that he was aiming for. He hates this feeling—why did he feel this way over how you mentioned Jacob’s name?
When you ask that question, every part of him wants to tell you to stay. In the time he has avoided you, it is only now that he is starting to realize how much he missed hanging out with you. Every part of him only wanted to hold you close to him—to forever link arms with you every second of the day. But this is Changmin we’re talking about—he would never hold you back from what you want to do.
He shakes his head with a small smile as a cover-up. “No, you should go. I know you miss him.” As he sees your grin, he cannot help but feel his heart being tugged harshly. 
:((((((((((
“Ah, thank you so much! I haven’t eaten the whole day,” you admit as you scratch the back of your neck. While you take a gulp of water, Jacob speaks up. “You haven’t? Well, we’re gonna make sure you eat lots now,” he smiles at you which has you almost choking on your water—just almost. When you place the cup back down, you show him a shy smile. This is a changmin pic this is a hangman pic this a ch-
How can u not root for them Jacobs character is so charming lol
As soon as she sets the two dishes down, she smiles and coos at the boy in front of you, pinching his cheeks. “My Jacob, I didn’t know you were having a date!” Nahhhhh this s too cute 
Love old ladies in fics they’re the bestttt
“Please enjoy your date.” Before you could protest, she left the two of you to serve the other customers calling her. You cannot find your voice. Somehow, you were scared to let a sound out in fear that your voice would crack from how the woman described this lunch. It did not help that Jacob went along with it. And what made you melt even more is when he poured you a bowl of kimchi-jjigae and placed a piece of chicken on your plate. When you stare at Jacob who pours himself some stew, he only shoots you that godforsaken smile. You may not know what you want with Jacob at the end of all of this. But one thing is for sure though—you wanted this feeling to remain. 
“I’m here to check up on you,” he says as he takes his shoes off and sets them aside before taking a step into your place. You close the door and frown at the boy who was making his way to your couch. “You’re watching Bluey? Now you need to tell me what’s going on.”
“Calling me your lucky charm then?” You smirk as you chew on your wooden spoon. When you do not hear him say anything, you turn your head to look at him only to be met with his small smile. “Yeah, I do.” Just like a bonfire on a cold night, his words warm your heart. You never expect him to go with it. And yet, the way he says the words so easily almost makes you smile.
Before he could say more, you wrap your arms around him and pull him into a hug. He feels himself stiffen at the sudden action. And when he realizes that it is you who initiates the hug, he melts into it. It is not rare for you two to hug—for you to initiate them, however, is a once-in-a-blue-moon experience. Although your best friend loves physical touch, it was never something you sought out. The most you ever did was link arms or hold hands—for you to bring him into a hug was unexpected. As you feel his arms wrap around your waist, you allow yourself to release a shaky breath. Even if you were not a big fan of physical touch, a hug like this one will always bring you immense comfort. “Thank you,” you whisper into his shoulder. All he does is continue to embrace you. Once you let go of him, he does the same. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my shining star.” As you say those words, Changmin cannot hide the smile that shows on his lips.
Ahhhhhh I can’t hide it either
“Changmin, it’s late. What do you want?” Sunwoo complains in his groggy voice. “I think I’m fucked.” “Ok–” “I think I like Y/N.” Changmin is met with silence. For a moment, he thinks Sunwoo hung up on him. That is until he says, “Expect me at your place in ten minutes.”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Changmin only sighs as he looks back down to his hands that play with the hem of his shirt. “I don’t usually act like this because Y/N has always been present for every competition. And never once did the teams I joined place anything lower than silver.”
The silence is deafening; you are too afraid to let out a sound. As you watch your best friend keep his composure while he tries to prepare your food, dark limbs consume you and push you into a hole of guilt and sorrow. While he was still struggling to come to terms with placing last, he still was going out of his way to take care of you.
You pulled him into another hug so that his face was snuggled into the crook of your neck.
With your best friend sobbing, you held him close. In these times, you started to understand what he meant last night—you are a place of solace for him just as he is for you.
I need them to be with each other forever don’t ever seperate themmmmm
cobcob 🐰: or even hang out outside of student journalist duties :]
cobcob 🐰: instead, let me take you out
Jacob doing his movessss not sure if I should be happy or not 
Sunwoo only smiles at you before he goes back to his phone. Unbeknownst to you, he messages Changmin about what just occurred between you and Jacob.
Qauhudhfuibew the dramaaaaa
“Why don’t you try spending it with Changmin’s family?” Sunwoo suggests which makes you snap out of your thoughts. Before you could say anything, he says, “I mean, the Ji family does love you. What do you think, Changmin?”
Sun woo you jdscudnscj love it
You turn your head towards Changmin whose eyes were trained on Sunwoo and eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t want to intrude, really. I’ll be fine–”
With that, he wraps his arm around your waist and brings you closer to him. You rest your head on his shoulder and continue to watch the variety show playing on the screen, unaware of the smirks your two other friends had.
Changmin lucky he has friends doing all the setting up for him 
Can’t wait for him to do his first mobveee
you voice out as you were scribbling down the scientific names of common flowers. You nudge Changmin and ask, “Is this right?” He takes a peek at your homework and lets out a chuckle. “You misspelled it. It’s Leucadendron—not Lucadeldron.” You roll your eyes as you erase your mistake.
I love thattt
Since your best friends took care of you, you have not heard from him in a while. All you would get were short responses and excuses about why he could not talk or see you. You do not hold it against him though—he needed this time to focus on his thesis anyway..
:(((((((
 “I hate to break it to you, but Sunwoo already told us a few days ago.”
That’s why yn doesn’t tell you stuff sunwooooooo
He grabs your hand before shooting you another smile. “I’m sure everyone wants to know everything about you.” You wish you could pinpoint the reason behind your heartstrings tugging. 
With a small smile on your face, you unzip your padded jacket and remove it before taking a seat on the wooden floor. Right where you sat, your face hovers over him. At this moment, you only realize now that Changmin has grown up since you first got to know him.
You and Changmin knew each other in every way possible—in every aspect you two willingly shared. Every left shoe had to come with a right one; rain is followed with sunshine; linked arms always came with bruised hearts—there is no other way to capture you two.
That’s beautifullll
Once he diverts his attention from his pet, the dog cannot help but bark at him. He lets out a sigh before dropping the plushie and wrapping his arms around Gana. “You are so needy, you know that? Just like Y/N over there.” The moment he points at you makes you gasp. “I am not needy.” Despite your attempt to defend yourself, your best friend only rolls his eyes. “I’ve known you for five years. You are needy, even needier than Sunwoo,” he says, which only has you frowning. As he sees your expression shift, he cannot help but laugh. “C’mon, sit with me.”
That’s bold coming from the man that’s up on yn twenty four seven lol
And just like that, you feel the crushing weight on your heart lifted. The moment of clarity finally pushed you to open your arms to what you had been tiptoeing around. Oh. Oh. It is not as scary as you made it out to be. “I think I like you.” You do not realize the words you whisper under your breath without any second thought. It is soft just like how water slowly trickles down a faucet. But even the droplet sounds are ones you never want to hear on a quiet night.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
You can only hope that your words were not heard by him. And while you found yourself panicking over the moment that occurred only minutes ago, your best friend was having an internal debate on whether he heard you say the words he has been dreaming of.
OMG IM NOT READY
[part two] of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going) ➵ ji changmin
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non-idol!ji changmin x reader, slight non-idol!jacob bae x reader
you and changmin have been best friends since high school, having seen each other at their best and worst. now in your second year of university, you are given the opportunity to work with the unattainable 5th-year you have had a crush on since—jacob bae. with your best friend on the receiving end of your rambles, you could only hope for something to come out of your time working with jacob. that is until changmin decides he wants something more out of his relationship with you.
genre/warnings ➵ friends to lovers, slow burn, so much FLUFF, afab reader (they/them pronouns), mentions of suggestive dreams, a lot of publication talk (sorry i am a writer), sunwoo is a STILL a shithead, a lot of sentimental talks between changmin and reader, so much platonic love in general!!, feelings are so weird, a lot of flashbacks, going back home for the winter break </3, too domestic (not for the faint of heart), if denial is a river in egypt then reader is SWIMMING in it, i'm afraid to say that reader is stupid (and can changmin just not hear?)
word count ➵ 27.7k words
parts ➵ check out the series masterlist
taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @sungbeam @miusgirl @jenoscafe
a/n ➵ expect some crazy realizations to happen! anyway, it took me three weeks to deliver this?? crazy!! i expected to only post two parts but i don't think tumblr can handle 45k words in one post </3 along with that, i wanted to get this out before i officially enter my 3rd year in uni!!! please expect for the third part to be delivered a little later since i need to prioritize my academics and newspaper work (and possibly another oneshot involving a kim sunwoo... oops?) hope you enjoy the CRAZY slow burn my lovelies. i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this post and the other parts!
want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! main masterlist
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Since Changmin had dreamt about you, he found himself unable to talk to you. Everything reminded him of you; the songs he would listen to on the way to school which you introduced him to; the cafe he would spend his free time in where you two usually studied; even phrases he would hear people say that you tend to frequent when speaking. It did not help that you were somewhat blowing up the group chat more than usual.
With all these reminders of you, Changmin always found his mind drifting back to the view of you in his dream. He has never seen you as a potential crush—let alone found you attractive. After all, he knew you when you first wore boxy glasses and cringe graphic tees (to which you donated).
You were never someone he desired. And yet, when you straddled him and said his name as if it were laced with nectar, you never left his mind. The imaginary tension between you two made him weak to the knees. And just from the fictional distance of your face from his, he could feel his breath hitch at the scenario constantly playing out in his head. That dream only pushed him to face thoughts he was not willing to entertain.
Over the days, you two have not been able to hang out. While he was trying to find ways to avoid you, you understood it as him being busy with his other obligations. That is until you spot him on campus.
Done with his last class for the day, Changmin exits the building with his eyes locked on the bus stop—his one ticket back home. He only cared to be snuggled into his sheets that were newly washed and fall into the shackles of a nap. That is until he hears someone call out his name.
As he looks for the source, his eyes land on you who is seated on one of the picnic tables with your laptop out. The moment you shoot him a smile, flashes of his dream play out; the way his name rolls off your tongue; the sensation of your breath that hovers over his lips; the legs that caged him in place. And suddenly, all he could do was point his thumb in the direction of the athletics center before he bolted. He could only hope that you do not cross paths with anyone from the dance team.
Clearly bummed out about not being able to spend some time with your best friend before your night class, you let out a sigh. You understood that he had a dance practice to worry about. With the way he seemed frazzled, it made sense that he was rushing to meet his team on time. That is until you are surprised by Sunwoo’s appearance at your table an hour later.
“Yo!” He greets you before taking a seat across from you, a bottle of green juice in his hands. “What are you up to?”
With a frown on your face, you ask, “Don’t you guys have practice?”
You are greeted by your best friend’s confused face before he brings out his phone. “I do?” He asks himself as he scrolls through it.
“Yeah, I saw Changmin like an hour ago and he seemed like he was rushing to the athletics center,” you sigh as you fix the document’s format that had your notes for the next class. “Unless I understood him wrong. I don’t even know, he kind of pointed somewhere and disappeared.”
Sunwoo hums as he types away on his phone. As he scratches the back of his head, you notice his expression shift into an all-knowing one. “Oh, it’s just for him and some other members. I think they’re just practicing a certain segment,” he shares before stowing his phone away.
“Anyway, I just remembered I have some work to catch up on so I’ll see you tomorrow or whenever!” And the next thing you know, your best friend left as quickly as he came. You stare at Sunwoo’s figure which continued to get smaller before he was out of sight. Before you could think much of his odd behavior, you were hit with the reality that you needed to attend class.
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“Okay, you need to fess up on why you’re avoiding Y/N,” Sunwoo says as he enters Changmin’s room with a small yawn following.
Currently, Changmin is rolled up in his sheets as he scrolls through YouTube shorts on his phone. The sudden appearance of his best friend only made him frown. He did not expect to have Sunwoo pester him today, but he remembers the conversation he had with him through text not too long ago. 
zzoguri 🦝: are u at the dance studio? zzoguri 🦝: did coach change the plans? i thought today was our break qramzi 🐿️: yea there’s no practice zzoguri 🦝: okay so why did y/n just say you went to practice? qramzi 🐿️: i don’t want to talk about it zzoguri 🦝: spill or i tell them qramzi 🐿️: yah! can’t i have my own secrets? zzoguri 🦝: you can have secrets but i don’t know why you’re lying to y/n qramzi 🐿️: ugh fine qramzi 🐿️: i’ll tell you when i see you
“Sunwoo, couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?” Changmin groans before shooting his friend a glare. Sunwoo plops on his bed while he still wears his outside clothes, making him even more furious. “Yah, Kim Sunwoo! I just washed these sheets.”
He only shrugs and says, “Okay, that doesn’t matter. Now, tell me!” Changmin sighs over his best friend’s persistence.
Fully aware that Sunwoo was not planning to leave any time soon, he found himself pausing the shorts. He sat up and bit the inside of the cheek.
Out of all the people he had to talk to about this dilemma with you, he did not feel comfortable revealing it to Sunwoo—the one person who knew you inside and out. Who could blame him? Having to talk about his dream about you to your best friend since grade school put him in a spot where he was seriously debating on which situation is better: this or being eaten whole by a shark?
That is until Chanhee walks into the room with his eyes on his phone. “Changmin-ah, there’s this–oh, Sunwoo! You’re here.” His eyebrows shoot up at the sight. “Did I interrupt something?”
His appearance is only to be taken as a gift from the universe. With a victorious smile playing on Changmin’s lips, he shrugs before saying, “No, I was just telling Sunwoo that I’d see him tomorrow.”
But the man was not going to make this easy for him. “He’s avoiding Y/N.” As soon as those words leave his best friend’s (read: traitor for life’s) mouth, Chanhee gasps as he stares Changmin down.
“What?! Why?!” He says as he takes a seat on the bed. Sunwoo shrugs and points at the guy who was constantly dodging their questions.
Now under the scrutiny of his two best friends, Changmin had no choice but to answer. His hands seemed bound even if no visible ropes were holding them down. He scratches the back of his neck and says, “Just, don’t judge me. And don’t tell Y/N.” The two only give him a look as if he stated the obvious.
Changmin knew he could trust these two with any secret and trouble he faced. In the times he desperately needed to talk about stuff that should never concern you, he always found himself talking to them. However, them seeing his reluctance had them worried about what might have gone down between you and him.
“It’s just… this dream; it felt so real for a second,” he starts as he plays with the loose ends of his blanket.
And not even a second passes when Chanhee exclaims the words, “Oh my god, did you have a sex dream about Y/N?!” He eyes him up and down.
“W-what? No!”
“Oh, I see why you’ve been avoiding them,” Sunwoo chuckles, ignoring his best friend’s protests.
He grows frustrated as the two continue to jump into assumptions. “No, that’s not it! Won’t you let me finish?!” As soon as the two pipe down, he lets out a sigh.
“Nothing happened like that. We just… almost kissed,” he whispers those last words. This icky feeling he can only think of as shame starts to take over his limbs. But when hears a laugh leave Chanhee’s mouth, he furrowed his eyebrows.
“Almost?” Chanhee smacks Changmin’s arm. “Then why are you so tense? If nothing happened, then it shouldn’t be something to worry about.”
Sunwoo shakes his head before sharing his two cents. Clearly, he wanted to play the shithead in a situation like this (like he always does).“No way, I’m starting to think Changmin is developing a crush on Y/N.” He gives the stressed-out boy a teasing smile. “Aren’t you?”
“W-what?! No! I’m not, what the fuck?”
From his panicked answer, Chanhee shakes his head with a small smile on his face. “See, then it means nothing,” He attempts to calm the situation down as he stands up from the bed. “It’s normal to just have dreams like that. It won’t mean much unless you put meaning into it.”
His best friend is right; it is normal to have nonsensical dreams. Changmin has had dreams about outrageous events such as Gana (his pet poodle) learning how to talk, his sisters deciding to move back into the family home, and even coming face-to-face with his celebrity crush. These dreams are not always manifestations of what he desires—which is why he does not understand why he is still riled up about some dream where you two almost kissed.
“You know, Chanhee is right. I like to tease and all but it is normal,” Sunwoo starts off. “But you shouldn’t be avoiding Y/N because of it. It’s not fair to them, you know?”
All Changmin could do was hum as he looked down at his hands. Once again, his best friend is right; there should be no reason for him to avoid you when you did nothing wrong.
“I know. It all just felt weird, and I think I needed to find some time to get over it.” As he admits that to his friends, he is only met with their smiles.
“You’ll be fine,” Chanhee reassures him before ruffling his hair. “Just remember that it’s just Y/N. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
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It is easier said than done for Changmin to go back to his usual antics with you. No matter how many times Chanhee tried to reassure him, it felt like something was holding him back—the idea of you reading right through him. It is not like you know all his thoughts. But if he stood before you, he felt like he would be at your mercy—letting you know all of his desires without any chance to rethink his actions. That is why when you approach him and Sunwoo during lunch, he is thrown off guard.
It is not like he was not expecting you to see him. After all, the spot they were staying in is in a corner on campus where the friend group would spend breaks together. It is an old picnic table whose wood was covered in old graffiti and smudges. Changmin was sure that this table was the last old one on campus for its wood is discolored as sand. Placed in a secluded area on campus behind the athletics center but still close to the publication room, it became the perfect spot for your friend group.
Sunwoo looks up at you in the middle of slurping his ramyeon noodles as you set your hands down on the table. Unlike your usual collected look and happy-go-lucky nature, the two noticed your disheveled appearance; eyebags are unseemly heavier than usual; shoulders slouched from how fatigued you have been.
“Are you okay?” Sunwoo decides to ask as soon as you take a seat in front of the two. You only let out a groan before your head rests on crossed arms. Without having to hear a verbal answer from you, your two best friends shared a look of worry.
Changmin has to swallow his shame; he needs to know what is going on with you. He could not let a dream hold him back from checking up on you, especially at a time when you needed him the most.
So his hand reached out for your arm, rubbing it ever so slowly. “Hey, what’s up?”
As you let yourself look up at your two friends whose faces were full of concern, you let out a sigh. “I’m just stressed out. You know, it’s November already so I’ve got some heavier projects to accomplish.”
“And I’m assuming the pub work is added stress,” Sunwoo chimes in before taking another slurp of noodles.
You nod and say, “Yeah. Right now, Jacob’s schedule is entirely different from mine so we’ve been working separately for the most part.” As soon as your chin rests back on your crossed arms, you let out another sigh and stare off into nowhere. “I miss him,” you shyly admit to the two.
It was to be expected for you to miss Jacob. During your first coverage together, he helped in alleviating the stress that came with it. From his smiles and encouragement to his exquisite way with words, he made every minute feel like a breeze in summer. But surprisingly enough, you felt like you could breathe without him around.
Sunwoo rolls his eyes at your reveal. “Aish! Of course, you do.” With your eyes preoccupied with whatever caught your attention, he looks at Changmin and gives him a subtle smirk. All your best friend could do is stop comforting you to smack the other.
Interrupted by Sunwoo’s whine, you look back at the two and frown at the sight of him grabbing onto his arm while Changmin continues to eat his bibimbap. Before you could ask, Sunwoo looked at his phone.
“Ah, that’s the time already?!” He quickly gets out of his seat and shoves his phone into his pocket before grabbing his empty bowl of ramyeon. “I’m going to be late for my class!”
“What class?”
“3D Character Animation,” he answers Changmin with a groan following. As soon as he notices his best friend who only has a look of desperation plastered on his face, he could only hold back his giggle. “I’ll see you two!”
And with that, Changmin is left alone with you—the one who has occupied his mind since that night. The realization of him spending time with you for the first time since that dream came to him was starting to sink in. With no moment to swallow his shame, he let his eyes trail down to his bowl of beef, rice, and stir-fried vegetables.
“So, how about you?” Once you ask the question, all he does is shrug before taking a big bite of his food.
It is not unusual for your best friend to not be in the mood to talk, but you noticed something was off about his behavior. Since that one day he rushed to the athletics center, you could not shake off this odd gut feeling—it felt like something was eating you up inside. Yet, you could not pinpoint the reason behind it.
You have always felt confident in your friendship with Changmin. There has not been a grave instance where he seemingly threatened it. No matter how many times you quarreled over small details throughout your friendship, you two knew to trust each other wholeheartedly. But as soon as you bumped into Juyeon that same day, your anxieties turned into something real.
As soon as your night class was dismissed, you quickly made your way out of the classroom. The talk about inverted pyramids and ledes in your journalism class only made your head hurt. All you could think about is your sweet home that had the soft bed you wish to pass out on. The headphones you wore blasted the sweet melodies of ��1 to 10” by DAY6—your pick-me-up song on days like these. Clearly drained from the day, you were hoping no one would bother you on your way to the parking lot.
That is until your eyes land on a boy who you have grown familiar with from short interactions on campus and at parties. “Oh, Juyeon!” You call out as you move your headphones to hang around your neck.
The boy who you were going to cross paths with looks in your direction. As soon as his cat-like eyes recognize you, he gives you a smile and jogs towards you. “Hi, Y/N. I didn’t expect to see you around here.”
“I usually park by the athletics center.”
Juyeon nods as he lets out a hum. “Did you just come from class?” After you nod, you decide to ask him the same question. “I just came from the dance studio. You know, practicing for the competition coming up.”
“Oh, were you with Changmin?”
That is when you are met with an answer you were not expecting. “Actually, there was no practice today. Coach let us have a bit of time to rest but I wanted to practice.”
When Juyeon reveals that, you cannot help but feel the anxiety start to pool in your stomach. To be fair, you might have misunderstood him when he rushed out. Changmin did not owe you anything, but you still cannot stop the ill feeling brewing inside you.
“Oh, I see,” you force a grin as you say those words. “Good luck, by the way! Rooting for you and the rest of the team.”
Juyeon gives you a smile with eyes squinted. “Thank you! I hope to see you in the crowd.” With that, you parted ways. You do not allow yourself to cry.
Ever since that day, you have not seen Changmin. In those weeks, you allowed your mind to come into every possible assumption—what if he is getting annoyed with you? What if he is struggling with his own problems? What if he just wants to be alone?
You wanted to respect him and his space, but the more this behavior kept on going, the more you allowed yourself to be ripped up by the speculations your anxiety-ridden mind has crafted. It did not help that you figured out that Sunwoo was covering for him on that day—the one guy you so desperately wanted to seek comfort in. And who is to say that Chanhee would not cover for his best friend as well?
Now with no one to go to, you allowed yourself to dwell on ideas surrounding Changmin’s avoidance. But you knew you had to swallow your pride.
“Ji Changmin.” As you call out his name in a tone he rarely hears, he looks up at you. It is rare for him to hear you say his full name like that—almost as if his mother is about to scold him. But he knew that this is not a case of standing guilty before his mother; it is a case of you calling attention to the elephant in the room.
“Let’s talk,” you say those words easily despite the crushing weight on your heart. For a moment, you let your words hit him. So when you see him finally drop his spoon down on the bowl, you realize he was ready to talk.
“Changmin, I need you to be honest with me.” You swallow down the lump in your throat—almost as if you were trying to get rid of the anxiety. “Are you avoiding me?”
As soon as you ask that question, Changmin shakes his head quickly with eyes full of worry. “Oh god, Y/N. I’m not. I-I didn’t mean to come off that way.”
“So you aren’t?”
Changmin sighs before he lets his hands reach toward yours. As he grabs hold of your hands, he says, “I mean, I just needed some time away from you.” Before you say any more, he interjects, “But not in the way you may think of it to be. It’s completely all on me—you did nothing wrong.”
“Then what’s wrong?” As soon as you ask him that question, you are met with silence. His eyes trail down to your linked hands. “Changmin,” you call out so that he looks right back into your eyes. He does not.
You shake your head and free one of your hands from his grasp. Your hand reaches out for the underside of his chin so that you could lift his face. And with that action, Changmin feels his breath hitch. 
With his eyes locked with yours and your hand holding his chin delicately like a freshly sprouted flower, he feels like he is transported back to his dream. Every action you seemingly do only reminds him of his fantasy of you. It does not help that your worried eyes looked like your nervous ones in his dream.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Once the question leaves your mouth, Changmin snaps out of his trance. He leans a little backward so that his chin slips out of your grasp. “Yes, sorry. It’s not because you did anything wrong.”
“Okay, but why avoid me then? You know you can talk to me, right?” And he knew that more than anyone. You have always offered him a place for him to talk no matter what it may be about. He did not owe you to share his thoughts, but he is forever in debt to you for opening such a space.
He sighs as he finally lets go of your hands. “It’s… embarrassing,” he whispers the last word with shame overtaking his body once more.
“It can’t be that bad,” you attempt to reassure him only to be met with him avoiding your gaze. “I mean, what’s there to be embarrassed about with me? You’ve known me my whole high school life—it can’t be worse than that.”
For a moment, Changmin contemplates. You had every right to think that way, but you had no idea of his intimate dream with you. He knew he could get out of this. And yet, he found himself defenseless against you.
“God, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he whispers to himself. As he notices a frown appear on your face, he shakes his head. “Just, please do not judge when I say this.” Your frown stays, curious to hear what he has to say. “Before anything, I respect you, okay?”
When he says those words, you cannot help but let a chuckle slip out. “I know that, don’t worry.”
“Yes, but… ugh, I don’t know how to say this,” he mutters as he thinks about the best way to share what has been bothering him.
You reach out once more for his hand and hold onto it. “Changmin, it’s fine. Rip the bandaid out—for the both of us.”
He hesitates for a second. With the way his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes filled with guilt, you can tell he was struggling to get the secret out. Before you could say any more, he spoke.
“I had this dream,” he waits for you to say something. When you do not interrupt, he takes it as a signal to continue. “It had you in it.”
It takes you a moment to process his words. Yet, before he could say more, you found yourself saying, “Oh.”
“Wait! It’s not what you think!” He blurts out before you could assume anymore. “I swear, I did not have that type of dream about you.”
When you decide to not interject, he takes it as an opportunity to continue. “God, it’s just that we almost… you know… kissed,” he whispers that last word as if it were a sin with downcast eyes.
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” You finally ask him, earning a nod.
Silence then settles between you two. For a moment, he does not know if he should say something or if he should let it sit with you. There were so many thoughts traveling through his mind—he only expects you to be disgusted by him. And yet, your hand still held his.
For some reason, you cannot help but laugh at the revelation. Changmin finds himself looking up at you only to be met with your shaking head which is accompanied by a small smile. “God, you’re that worked up over an almost kiss?”
As soon as you ask that question, he is thrown off by your casual nature. It is as if you did not understand the gravity of this. “W-what? You wouldn’t be?” He is only met with you shaking your head once more.
“No, dumbass,” you chuckle as you retract your hand from his and ruffle his hair. “There’s no reason for you to get so embarrassed over a dream. It’s not like you can control it… unless?”
“Why would I want to kiss you?!”
The way Changmin physically reels as he says those words make you laugh. “See! Then your dream means nothing.” You smile as you let your chin rest on your arm that is propped up on the table. “If it helps, I’ve dreamt about you too.”
Your best friend cannot hide his shocked expression. The idea of you dreaming about him is something he has never entertained until your reveal. “You have? About what?”
“Secret.”
“Hey, I told you mine!”
You can only laugh at your best friend’s behavior. “I’m assuming you told Sunwoo, right?”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “He cornered me into telling him and Chanhee when he heard from you that I was “practicing.” It felt so weird to tell him.”
“Well, that’s Sunwoo for you. If it helps, he was also the first person I told about my dream of you.”
Changmin pouts at you while your grin remains the same. “I thought we were best friends.”
“Yeah,” you look at him up and down. “Until you decided to avoid me over a dream!”
“Okay, fair point,” he admits with a sheepish smile. “But I ended up telling you! Why won’t you tell me yours?”
You roll your eyes over his childish behavior and say, “Because mine is far more embarrassing than an “almost kiss” that you seemed to have with me.” With those words, he cannot help but be curious.
A frown now plastered on his face, his mind runs through every possible dream that could be more embarrassing than his. Nothing could possibly beat his dream of you—until his mind lands on a particular idea. With a small chuckle leaving his mouth, he asks, “Did you have a sex dream about me?”
“No.” The way you blurt out the word ruins the cover you built. And there is no way to save yourself from this mess.
“Oh my god, you did!” He exclaims with eyebrows raised over the revelation. “When did you have it?” When all he receives is an eye roll from you, he decides to push further. “C’mon! Like you said, my dream does not mean anything as much as yours doesn’t.”
You sigh out in frustration before you frown at the boy across from you. “First year of college—it was after I saw your recital where you performed “BOSS” by NCT,” you shyly admit as you avoid his gaze. Although you refuse to look at him, you can feel how his eyes bore into you.
“Really? You liked that fit on me?” He asks smugly to which you groan. “I’m kidding!” You roll your eyes once more as you let him finally take some spoonfuls of his bibimbap.
The silence that settles on you two is surprisingly comfortable. Despite the awkward revelations that came on both ends (most especially on yours), the stillness of it all does not make you sit in embarrassment.
“Thank you, though.” You finally look back at him. “I mean, thank you for telling me,” he says with a shy smile on his face.
Changmin has always been the type to keep his feelings to himself—the one to hide his shame away. You have always known that since you first knew him as Sunwoo’s friend. But you also knew that leaving a space for him to talk gave him opportunities to be vulnerable with you—all he needs is a little reminder.
You let out a sigh. “Just don’t avoid me like that again.”
“I won’t.” Changmin nods as he finishes his bibimbap. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
As you shrug, you are met with his frown. Before you could say anymore, you felt your phone buzz. While he observes the way your face shifts from exhaustion to pure euphoria, an ill feeling starts to poll in his stomach. “Nevermind, I’m going to grab lunch with Jacob.”
When those words slip out of your mouth, a weight is dropped right on top of his heart. The last time he felt like this was when Hwang Hyunjin was offered the center position for one of the routines that he was aiming for. He hates this feeling—why did he feel this way over how you mentioned Jacob’s name?
“You are? I thought your schedules were completely different,” he murmurs before his eyes drift back down to his bowl.
“Yeah, but he just texted asking if I wanted to grab lunch with him. Hopefully, we can work on the article after so that my life is easier.” You smile while you text away. Changmin only allows himself to hum.
“Are you okay if I go? Or do you want me to wait for you?”
When you ask that question, every part of him wants to tell you to stay. In the time he has avoided you, it is only now that he is starting to realize how much he missed hanging out with you. Every part of him only wanted to hold you close to him—to forever link arms with you every second of the day. But this is Changmin we’re talking about—he would never hold you back from what you want to do.
He shakes his head with a small smile as a cover-up. “No, you should go. I know you miss him.” As he sees your grin, he cannot help but feel his heart being tugged harshly. 
“Thank you!” You exclaim as you get off your seat. “I’ll update you!” And with that, you left your best friend. Now, he is left with thoughts and feelings he wishes to not entertain.
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Before you met up with Jacob, you made sure to cover up your fatigue (thank god you brought some makeup) by hiding your dark circles. In contrast with the exhausted look that Changmin and Sunwoo previously saw, you presented yourself as you normally would when going to campus.
Now, you stand in front of a restaurant whose specialty lies in Korean fried chicken. Once you entered, you noticed that there were only a handful of students from your university. Other customers were those dressed in button-ups and slacks while some came in casual clothing.
As you look around, you spot the 5th-year who types away on his phone. The sight of him never fails to warm your heart. You walk towards him and greet him with a smile, “Hi, Jacob.”
When his eyes land on you, he flashes you that all-knowing smile (god, you will always be defenseless against him). “Oh, hi! Please take a seat.” He stashes his phone in his pocket. As soon as you take a seat, he says, “I already ordered the fried chicken and kimchi-jjigae just a few minutes ago, so it will probably be here soon.”
“Ah, thank you so much! I haven’t eaten the whole day,” you admit as you scratch the back of your neck. While you take a gulp of water, Jacob speaks up.
“You haven’t? Well, we’re gonna make sure you eat lots now,” he smiles at you which has you almost choking on your water—just almost. When you place the cup back down, you show him a shy smile.
Your relationship with Jacob has been complicated. Ever since that fateful night when he asked about your relationship with Changmin, something in the air shifted—it felt as if the aura he emits is different. Although his innocent praises stayed, he started to tell you things that made you melt from the inside out. From “Good job with the draft!” to “I like what you did with your hair today,” you did not know what to make of this new dynamic with him.
Still, a part of you wanted to hold back from pursuing anything. Despite getting to know him during the weeks you two worked together, you found yourself still valuing all his thoughts about you. In your mind, he is still the 4th-year who you idolized when you first entered the publication. 
“So, how are you?” You try to shift the conversation. “Have your professors been assigning you some heavy projects?”
Jacob nods and hums in affirmation. “I expected to have more free time since I’m in my 5th year. But surprisingly, my academics still take up a huge chunk of my time.” He sighs as he looks down at the table. “With my internship and the publication work, my schedule has been cramped.”
“I can only imagine.” And you only really could. You have always anticipated your senior year to be hectic as when Changmin and Chanhee were juggling their priorities the summer before their 4th year. The two never really got to enjoy that summer; they dreaded every day until the start of their senior year.
“What about you? How’s the final leg of the semester treating you?” As Jacob asks the question, you could only sigh. He could only chuckle. “I’m assuming it’s not going well for you also.”
You let out a groan before complaining, “Professors have this tendency to assign due dates for heavy projects before the actual finals season. I mean, I get it—they’re trying to do us a favor so that we can focus on actual finals but literally every prof is doing that.” As you were going on a tangent, you noticed Jacob starting to smile. “I just think that professors could have easily spaced out the workload.”
Before you could ask about what he is smiling about, an old woman comes to your table with a bowl of kimchi-jjigae and a basket of Korean fried chicken. Your stomach grumbles at the sight. As soon as she sets the two dishes down, she smiles and coos at the boy in front of you, pinching his cheeks. “My Jacob, I didn’t know you were having a date!”
Once those words leave her mouth, your eyes widen in shock. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks all while Jacob smiles at the server. “Ah halmeoni, thank you for preparing such a good meal.” He does not make an effort to deny your lunch being a date—the butterflies start to swarm in your stomach.
“Of course, my sweet sweet boy.” She finally stops pinching his cheeks and smiles at you. “Please enjoy your date.” Before you could protest, she left the two of you to serve the other customers calling her.
You cannot find your voice. Somehow, you were scared to let a sound out in fear that your voice would crack from how the woman described this lunch. It did not help that Jacob went along with it. And what made you melt even more is when he poured you a bowl of kimchi-jjigae and placed a piece of chicken on your plate.
When you stare at Jacob who pours himself some stew, he only shoots you that godforsaken smile. You may not know what you want with Jacob at the end of all of this. But one thing is for sure though—you wanted this feeling to remain. 
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It is 10:34 PM. You are seated in your living room watching an episode of Bluey while your laptop remains abandoned. During times of stress, you always found yourself watching this show for comfort. Its digestible plot and heartwarming nature found in each episode worked for your weak heart. That is until you hear your doorbell ring.
You were not expecting a delivery—let alone anyone at this time. As you got off the couch and walked towards the door, you peeked through the peephole only to see your best friend dressed up in a white shirt and grey jogging pants.
As soon as you open the door, you ask, “Changmin? Why the hell are you here?”
The last time you saw him was two weeks ago—the day you confronted him about his avoidance. Your friend group was preoccupied with hell season (read as “professors assigning heavy projects”) and extracurriculars, preventing you four from hanging out. 
It was a miracle that you and Jacob managed to wrap up your article on drinking culture amongst students just a few weeks after Halloween. Now, you two were rushed into finishing the joint article on hustle culture in student organizations so that it would be published in time before finals season comes.
In Chanhee’s case, he was assigned more coverages aside from the ones he had to work on with you two. He always swooped in on time to film and capture the moments and left as quickly as he could to handle his other duties. It is crazy how you two are in the same publication but barely see each other.
While you and Chanhee have been preoccupied with publication work, Changmin and Sunwoo have been practicing non-stop for their competition happening tomorrow. They have spent almost every night in the dance studio going over the same routine countless times; sweating through every shirt they had; exerting every muscle in them; enduring every bruise that came from dancing. That is why you do not understand why Changmin stood before you when his competition was happening tomorrow.
“I’m here to check up on you,” he says as he takes his shoes off and sets them aside before taking a step into your place. You close the door and frown at the boy who was making his way to your couch. “You’re watching Bluey? Now you need to tell me what’s going on.”
You sigh as you make your way beside him and plop down on the couch. “I’m just taking a break from work.”
“Is it the same one from last time? The drinking culture one?”
“Nope.” You pop the ‘p’ sound as you grab your laptop. “It’s about hustle culture in orgs,” as you say those words, your best friend could only chuckle. “Why? What’s so funny?”
He raises his eyebrows at you. “Don’t you think it’s funny how you’re writing about that when you have been working like crazy for the newspaper?” As he points it out, you only roll your eyes. “I know you’ve been writing non-stop, so why don’t you just take a break?”
You firmly shake your head and say, “I can’t; my break was watching Bluey.” While you type away, you could feel your best friend start to rest his head on your shoulder as he watches the show without you. Oddly enough, you felt all the knots in your body untie themselves—it was as if Changmin helped alleviate the stress by simply being present.
The episodes play out while you work; searching up synonyms for basic words like “say” or “work”; typing out phrases that sound right; deleting every unnecessary word to save you on characters. After two episodes ended, you could feel your best friend tug on your arm. You look to your right to see his concerned eyes. “C’mon, you can work on that tomorrow. I don’t want you to overwork yourself tonight.”
You only show him a small smile. He is right. Over the past weeks, you have found yourself staying up countless nights to balance your academics and publication work. Your friend group is well aware of this (since you have messaged them during the late hours), and they would always remind you to take breaks. Yet, you never did allow yourself to listen. A part of you felt like you needed to work every minute.
When you decide to not say anything, Changmin takes it as a sign to get off the couch. “C’mon, let’s go to the mart downstairs. You really need to take a break.”
“But–”
“No.” He grabs hold of your laptop and pries it away from your hands. As you whine, he only shakes his head. “Y/N, I know you. If you keep this up, you’re going to get sick. So for once, just listen to me.” Your best friend’s persistence is something that you could not battle against. And after you let out a sigh, you find yourself getting off the couch.
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Now, you two were sitting inside the convenience store located on the ground floor of your apartment complex. While you ate away on your cup of ice cream, Changmin was munching on some bread with red beans in it.
“Aren’t you not allowed to be snacking late at night before your competition?” He only hums as he watches you chew on the wooden spoon. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”
He shakes his head and says, “This isn’t about me—I’m here to ask about you.” You can only sigh over his behavior. Being put under the spotlight is something you always dread, especially when it comes to your own problems. Changmin, of all people, knew this—but he only corners you when it is necessary for you would only bottle it all up.
“What about we talk about everything?” When you are met with a frown, you whine, “Changmin, you know I hate it when I talk about this shit alone. Let me at least hear you out.”
For a moment, he remains frowning at you. But just like him, you are persistent. He sighs before giving in to your request. “Fine, shoot.”
“How are you feeling about tomorrow?”
He gives himself a moment to think over the question before answering with, “Oddly enough, I feel a bit more confident about the competition tomorrow.”
“Hey, that’s good!”
He chuckles as he looks down on his bread. “I know. I mean, a part of me is still nervous but I feel like it would be good to end this on a good note.” He finds himself smiling as he looks out the window. “I’m just hoping we secure that win, you know? Considering that I have several center parts–”
“Are you really trying to flex that right now?” You scoff as you twirl the wooden spoon. 
“I’m just saying.”
“Whatever, you’re not all that.”
“Do you see me commenting shit like that every time you talk about getting clean closes on your articles?”
As soon as your best friend looks at you, he is greeted with a frown on your face. “You always do. Be so for real right now.”
“Just because you always talk about it! Let me have my moment,” he says which only has you rolling your eyes. “But continuing before you interrupted me, I still want to do well. I want to win for my team—let the mark I leave be a good one.”
You understood where Changmin was coming from. Even if he talked about being a bit more relaxed, you knew that this competition still mattered to him as a graduating senior. His passion for dance is something you do not usually see from anyone. At the end of everything, he wanted to prove that his love for this activity is something to be acknowledged—all the time he has spent dancing is something worthy to commemorate.
“Hey, and you will,” you say as you bump shoulders with him. “I know you will do good.”
He lets a chuckle out. “I know I will do good when you’re there.”
“Calling me your lucky charm then?” You smirk as you chew on your wooden spoon. When you do not hear him say anything, you turn your head to look at him only to be met with his small smile.
“Yeah, I do.” Just like a bonfire on a cold night, his words warm your heart. You never expect him to go with it. And yet, the way he says the words so easily almost makes you smile.
In an attempt to not feed his ego, you roll your eyes and face away from him to hide your expression. Before you could say any more, he spoke. “Now that we talked about me, let’s talk about whatever you have going on.”
You sigh as you look out the window. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s just the stress of everything, you know?”
“Okay, so tell me about it—go through what’s bothering you one by one.” When he says those words, you cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug. It is during these times that you remember Changmin’s constant aid when you found yourself struggling in silence.
Despite being the talkative one in your friend group, you never liked to dive into your troubles. If anything, you liked to be the person who people went to for comfort versus the person who vents their struggles. Even in your early years of being friends with Sunwoo, he has known you to be the type of person who would discredit their problems. That is why it is not rare for you to sweep your difficulties under the rug. And every day, you always appreciate Sunwoo for being present in the moments you need him the most.
Funnily enough, the same goes for your best friend. Changmin was fine with talking about anything and everything unless it concerned his problems. He was the type of person to lock himself away in his low times—hide away so that he burdens no one. And yet, his walls would always break when you came into the picture. Because at the end of everything, you want to be the shoulder he can lean on. And just like you, he does the same for you.
Somehow, the universe gifted you someone who knew you from the inside and out—one who pushed you to the necessary limits that you needed to reach in order to grow. You could only hope he felt the same towards you.
Under his gaze, you finally found it within yourself to speak. “I don’t know what to feel.” You find yourself looking back at Changmin only to be greeted by his nod. “I mean, I don’t know what to feel about Jacob.”
You do not miss the way he frowns as you say the 5th-year’s name. “Go on,” he urges you to continue.
“I feel like–god, I don’t know how to say it.” You let your eyes trail back down to your cup of ice cream. “Ever since that Halloween party, I feel like something changed, you know? Like he’s still sweet but I feel so hyperaware that he might actually reciprocate whatever I’m feeling about him.”
Changmin only hums before he takes a bite of his bread. As soon as he swallows it down, he says, “You’re not happy about your crush showing some interest in you?”
You shake your head before admitting, “Crazily enough, I feel more scared.” You do not allow your eyes to meet with his. “Like, I love the feeling of spending time with him. But when I remember what he said at the party and all the other times he has said something almost flirtatious in nature, I feel myself freeze up.”
“Okay, why do you think that?”
You find yourself shrugging. “I feel like I still think of him as the 4th-year that I first found myself crushing on when I entered the publication. A part of me still puts him on this pedestal who I idolize versus a friend who I’ve gotten to know during my weeks working with him.”
You hate that it turned out this way. Every part of you wants to jump head-first into whatever you and Jacob have going on. And yet, you can never push him off the pedestal—almost as if he is forever rooted in that place. You are about to say more until you are met with a question that you do not expect.
“Do you, I don’t know, ever see yourself with him?” Once your best friend asks that, you cannot help but stare at him. “I know it’s a lot to consider.”
“No, you’re good,” you mumble as you let yourself look back out the window. “I… don’t know. Oddly enough, I don’t think I can see myself with anyone.” As soon as those words leave your mouth, you allow your eyes to meet Changmin’s which are only filled with worry.
“You don’t?”
It has only occurred to you that you have never mentioned this thought to him. Despite the many times you rambled to him about all your short-lived crushes, you never really had anything progress past that stage—let alone saw yourself pursuing them.
“Yeah, it’s weird,” you found yourself saying after finishing your last spoonful of ice cream. “To me, I’ve grown so accustomed to the idea that all my crushes will stay as crushes, you know? That’s what I’m familiar with.”
Silence engulfs you two for a moment. You let Changmin process what you just shared with him. But when you realize that he was not going to say anything, you chose to continue. “I have gone my whole life just doing work that I find it hard to even imagine a future where I’m not working.” You find yourself sighing. “Is it odd to think that I feel like I am put in this world for the sole reason to work?”
It is supposed to be a hypothetical question—until your best friend answers. “Y/N,” he calls your name out before his hand finds its way to yours. “You are more than your accomplishments, you know that right?” You look at him with eyes full of shock. There was not enough time for you to think of an answer as he continued to speak. “You are deserving of love—you always have been.”
You feel his hand grip yours a tad tighter. His fingers held your hand as if you could easily slip away. You knew it was his way of wanting you to hear him out—to believe his words.
It has been something you noticed since your second year in high school. You can remember the first time you finally started to pick up his small habits—from the way he likes to link arms with you to the way he tends to hit whoever is beside him whenever he is excited.
It is rare for him to firmly grip your hand. In the same way you would reserve these types of talks to be mainly with him, you could only hope that it was an action he reserved for you.
“I know that you may have gone your life under the impression that no one wants you in the way you hope, but there are people who love to have you in their lives. I know you value your work because I do too, but you aren’t just some commodification of labor—you are a burst of energy for Chanhee; a familiar presence for Sunwoo; a place of solace for me.” The more he continues with his tangent, the harder it gets for you to find the right words to say.
Somehow, he reads your thoughts and says, “I’m not saying you should dive in with whatever you have going on with Jacob hyung without understanding what you want from him. But I think you should at least entertain the idea that you can possibly have something with him.” He takes a moment to sigh as he draws circles on the back of your hand. “I just don’t want you to hold yourself back from getting something that you have deserved for so long just because it’s unfamiliar.”
And deep inside, you knew Changmin was right. He has always been the type to remind you that you do deserve happiness—whether it may be in whatever career path you decide to set on or hobbies you wish to pursue. And yet, you still hold yourself back from attaining something that stands right before you. Are you really part of the list of people who deserve happiness?
But you know that if you say anymore, the conversation would spiral down further. “I just,” you take a deep breath as you bring your linked hands closer to you. “I–I don’t know anymore. Maybe I just need time to just figure out whatever the fuck I’m feeling,” you chuckle as you look down at your hand that intertwines with his.
“And take all the time you need,” he whispers. Once you look at him, his gaze never falters. In those eyes you have grown accustomed to, you allow yourself to be exposed to him in ways that no one will ever have the privilege of seeing.
Your best friend smiles at you and says, “Come on, it’s getting late. I’ll bring you back to your place.” Once he stands up, he grabs your empty cup and wooden spoon with his plastic wrapper from the bread and throws them into the trash bin.
The walk back was silent—nothing needed to be said for you two were content with being in each other’s presence. When Changmin drops you off by your door, you smile at him. “Thank you for tonight. It kind of felt nice to have it finally out.”
He gives you a small shrug and says, “I’m always here to help you carry your burdens.” You cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug.
Before he could say more, you wrap your arms around him and pull him into a hug. He feels himself stiffen at the sudden action. And when he realizes that it is you who initiates the hug, he melts into it.
It is not rare for you two to hug—for you to initiate them, however, is a once-in-a-blue-moon experience. Although your best friend loves physical touch, it was never something you sought out. The most you ever did was link arms or hold hands—for you to bring him into a hug was unexpected.
As you feel his arms wrap around your waist, you allow yourself to release a shaky breath. Even if you were not a big fan of physical touch, a hug like this one will always bring you immense comfort. “Thank you,” you whisper into his shoulder. All he does is continue to embrace you.
Once you let go of him, he does the same. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my shining star.” As you say those words, Changmin cannot hide the smile that shows on his lips.
“I’ll wait for you, lucky charm.” You smile before entering your apartment. The moment the door shuts close, he starts walking away while fishing his phone out of his pocket. He dials one of his best friends and brings the phone close to his ear.
After three rings, he hears a groan from the other end of the line. “Changmin, it’s late. What do you want?” Sunwoo complains in his groggy voice.
“I think I’m fucked.”
“Ok–”
“I think I like Y/N.”
Changmin is met with silence. For a moment, he thinks Sunwoo hung up on him. That is until he says, “Expect me at your place in ten minutes.”
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When you wake up, you expect to feel sluggish. But as soon as you start to feel your body ache, you realize that today was not going to go as planned.
“I don’t think I can make it,” you groaned out to your best friend who was on the other line as you waited for the thermometer to finalize its results regarding your temperature. “God, I’m so annoyed.”
“Aish, this is what you get for staying up so many nights!” Chanhee scolds you as you set your phone on speaker mode.
While you roll your eyes at his reprimanding, you hear a beep emit from the thermometer placed under your arm. Once you took it out, you could see that your temperature is at 39°C. You scratch the top of your head and say, “Fuck, I am sick.”
Unbeknownst to you, Chanhee was in the dance team’s dressing room seated near Changmin as he was getting his makeup done. Changmin furrowed his eyebrows at his best friend who was on call with you. “What’s wrong?” He whispers only to earn no response from Chanhee.
“God, don’t tell Changmin I’m not there,” you say as you store the thermometer away on your bedside table. You grab onto your phone to double-check if Chanhee was still on the line.
He attempts to joke and says, “Oh, so I can tell Sunwoo?”
You roll your eyes even if he cannot see your reaction. “Obviously not. I just–right now, they should not be worrying about me. It’s a big deal for them, especially Changmin.” As you whisper your best friend’s name, you could feel the guilt eating you apart. After last night’s conversation, you knew he would not be able to rest easy knowing you are sick. “Can you think of an excuse? Like maybe just say I’m running late?”
“I don’t know if I can,” He admits as he stares at the topic of the conversation who only has a look of concern. Before Changmin could say anything, he waved his hand at him. “Do you need me to book a delivery for you? Do you have some meds?”
As you peer over to your bedside table to look through the drawers, you notice some acetaminophen pills sealed up. “Yeah, I have enough to last me around three days.”
“I’ll bring some more when I visit you. What about soup?”
You sigh. “It’s okay; I can handle it. Just make sure to cheer them on for me.”
Chanhee bites on his lip as he stares back at Changmin who was starting to connect the dots. Based on the one-sided conversation, it was starting to make sense in his head what was going on—not only could you not make it to the competition but you were sick.
“Okay, I’ll see you later?” Chanhee finally asks. As soon as you hum, you decide to end the call. While you were under the impression that Changmin had no clue of your absence, the reality is that he was well aware of what was happening.
“They’re sick,” Changmin mutters to himself as he looks at himself through the mirror while Park Seonghwa, one of the makeup artists that work closely with the dance troupe, continues to pamper him.
His best friend sighs as he types away on his phone. “They don’t want you to worry about them. Just focus on the competition and we can visit them after.” As he said those words, Changmin could feel the anxiety start to brew within him; his heart started to feel heavy; his palms were getting sweaty; it almost felt like the walls were going to collapse on him.
Chanhee starts to notice that Changmin was drifting into a headspace that they wanted to absolutely avoid. “Seonghwa, can you excuse us?” Once the makeup artist nods and walks away to work on someone else, Chanhee quickly stands up from his seat and walks behind his panicked friend before holding onto his shoulders.
“Hey,” he calls out as he catches Changmin’s attention through the mirror. “I know that you’re worried about Y/N, but they’ll be fine. All they have is a fever. You though, you need to focus on your competition.”
“Okay but Y/N has never missed any of my competitions.”
Chanhee chuckles. “And you’ll be fine. You can always tell them about your win after, and I can record it just to show them.” But the thing is his best friend does not get why Changmin is worried about your absence.
He has been nervous about the competition since the morning came. But the idea of you being there provided him with immense comfort that he could tackle this. Without his lucky charm, he almost felt defenseless.
“I know you like them and all–”
“Huh?! That’s not the point!” Changmin quickly exclaims to cover up what Chanhee just babbled out. He whispers, “That’s not something you should be saying out loud.”
His best friend attempts to apologize. “Sorry! I just never see you act like this, so I thought all of this was coming from the fact that you like them now.”
Changmin only sighs as he looks back down to his hands that play with the hem of his shirt. “I don’t usually act like this because Y/N has always been present for every competition. And never once did the teams I joined place anything lower than silver.”
Chanhee cannot help but pout at him. “They’re almost like your lucky charm, is that it?” When he does not say anything, the best friend only sighs. “I don’t know if this will help, but why don’t you at least try to win without them? Instead of worrying about your missing lucky charm, take this opportunity to win this for them—for you, especially.”
Unbeknownst to the two, Sunwoo overheard a part of the conversation before he walked up to them. The two were briefly surprised by his sudden appearance. “Hey, you two,” he starts off before holding onto his best friend’s forearm who was seated on the chair.
“Changmin, I know you’re worried. If anything, I am too. I used to treat Y/N as my lucky charm since. They’ve been present for not only the dance competitions but my soccer tournaments in grade school.” He looks at Changmin with worried eyes. “There was this one time where Y/N didn’t show up because they got sick as well. On that day, I had a foul shot that caused the team’s chance to win.”
He sighs at the memory, remembering how much he cried to you on the landline. “In their comfort, they told me this: “You don’t need me to achieve the heights you’ve dreamed of.” And I think a part of me realized then that I put so much faith in someone who was only supporting me on the sidelines. At the end of everything, they want you to believe in yourself.”
As Sunwoo shares his memory with you, Changmin cannot help but think over the words you told Sunwoo. It is true that despite the skills he had, he always found himself second-guessing his capabilities as a dancer. And during the times he found himself doubting his abilities, you were always there to remind him of his worth. Not only did you do that for dance but even when you two still worked together for your high school’s publication. 
“Yeah, what matters most is that you win this, especially for yourself—this is your dream. No matter what happens, we will always be proud of you. We know how much time and effort you put into dance, and we’ll always marvel at what you do,” Chanhee speaks up. Since the conversation happened, Changmin finally found himself showing a small smile.
“Ah, there’s that smile,” Sunwoo points out, which only has Chanhee giggle. “C’mon, let’s just focus on making sure we get through this without any injuries. Win or lose, we still did well, okay?” Sunwoo raises his fist for his best friend to fist bump. Once he does so, Sunwoo smiles.
Chanhee smiles at the sight of him and his two best friends huddled together through the mirror. In the time he has gotten to know your friend group, he realized that all the bantering is just a coverup for how much love is shared between you three. Despite the quarrels and internal struggles, your friend group always remained firm in the idea that to love is to reestablish each person’s independence.
No matter how many times you three believe you cannot survive without one another, the reality is that the achievements achieved are all due to each person’s capability—it is just nice to know that there will always be people to support you from the sidelines. As Chanhee was dragged into your friend group, he found himself cared for and supported in every aspect.
He leans his head on Sunwoo’s shoulder as he continues to hold onto Changmin’s shoulder. Although Sunwoo was startled by the sudden movement, he noticed the smile on his best friend’s face. “You guys will be okay.” And with those words leaving Chanhee’s mouth, the two could not help but feel a heavy weight on their hearts be lifted.
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Sitting on the couch in your living room, you were all wrapped up in a blanket as you tried to type away on your laptop. Not only were you disappointed about missing Changmin and Sunwoo’s performance, you were stressed about your article’s due date which was two days from now.
Despite how sick you felt, you still needed to work on the task at hand. It almost felt as if the upcoming deadline was breathing down on your neck. You would hate to cause an inconvenience for both your editor and co-writer. 
Your phone vibrates. Expecting to get a call from the delivery person who was bringing some samgyetang from your favorite restaurant, you see Chanhee is calling you. As soon as you answer, you say, “How did it go?” When you are met with a sigh on the other end of the line, you could feel your heart get heavy.
“Y/N, I don’t know where Changmin is.” You feel yourself sit up straight as your best friend reveals that information. “The competition didn’t turn out well—they ended up placing last out of the five groups who participated.” Your eyes close in sorrow.
For a moment, you hear some muffled sounds until another voice speaks up. “As soon as they revealed the results, he left,” Sunwoo let out a sigh. “We’ve been trying to contact him but it keeps going straight to voicemail.”
“We’re planning to check the athletics center first and the picnic where we usually hang out before deciding to check back at my place.” Once Chanhee says that, you let out a hum. “Do you have any other places in mind that you think he’d be at?”
“Uh, I think the park near your apartment complex would be good to check out,” you start off. As you tried to think of more places, you felt yourself hitting a mental wall—you were too worried about your best friend. “I-I don’t know where else he could be.” As you whisper those words, the unbearable weight on your heart is accompanied by claws that make it ache.
You could hear someone sigh for a moment. “Okay, if you ever think of more places, just message us. Tell us also if you get a message from him,” Sunwoo tells you.
“And don’t go looking out for him. I mean it.” Every part of you wanted to argue with Chanhee. But with his harsh tone, you realized there was nothing you can do in this state. He is right, you are sick—now is not the best time to go out.
While you tried to process the news, you were starting to blame yourself for getting sick. Especially after last night’s conversation with Changmin (and how he thought of you as his lucky charm), you could do nothing but feel guilt swallow you whole.
“Okay,” you finally whisper back. And somehow, your best friends started to notice how worried you were with how you said that one word.
With a sigh, Sunwoo says, “He’ll be okay. It was just a bad day.” Before you could say more, he cuts you off. “And it’s not your fault.” You feel your bottom lip quiver. “The other teams just presented a better performance in comparison to us—we would have never expected it. So don’t carry the blame, lucky charm.” As he calls you that term, your heart aches.
When you were first called that by him, you could remember the joy you felt. You loved to support your best friend in any way you can, even if it meant being treated as the one reassuring presence that made him feel like he was guaranteed success. But what came with being a lucky charm was also the burden of the title—having someone put all their faith in you when you had no control almost felt anxiety-inducing.
So when Changmin coined that term on you, you could not help but experience that feeling once more. That is until you learned that your absence was as coincidental as their team losing in the said competition. 
“Take care, alright?” As soon as Chanhee says that, you let out a hum. The call ends and you are left to stare off into the open space in your living room. Yet, not even a minute after, you hear the doorbell ring.
You stood up from the couch with your blanket still wrapped around you as you sluggishly walked towards the front door. When you swing it open, you expect to see a plastic bag filled with containers of the food you ordered. But when you see Changmin with a sorrowful expression holding onto the said plastic bag, your breath hitches at the sight.
Just at the sight of him, you decide against saying anything. With his shoes off, you only take a step to the side so that he could enter your place. You shut the door right after he enters and walk slowly to the boy who was placing your food on the kitchen counter. He was dressed up in an all-black outfit you could only presume to be the same outfit he performed in a few hours ago.
The silence is deafening; you are too afraid to let out a sound. As you watch your best friend keep his composure while he tries to prepare your food, dark limbs consume you and push you into a hole of guilt and sorrow. While he was still struggling to come to terms with placing last, he still was going out of his way to take care of you.
You took some steps forward so that you could be closer to him. While he opened containers containing samgyetang, kimchi, and more, you stood right behind him. And before he knows it, he feels your arms wrap around his waist and hug him from behind.
With that one simple action, he stopped whatever he was doing. You let your chin rest on his shoulder as you look down at his hands that were starting to tremble. As soon as you notice his head start to dip down, you knew he was going to cry. All while his body started to shake, you could only hug him.
“It’s okay,” you finally whisper to him.
It is rare to see Changmin cry. During your time growing up with him, you can only remember a few times when he shed a few tears; due to stress from school and his internship; when Gana went missing for a few days; times when he was frustrated with a choreography he could not get the hang of. But with the way he was shaking, you were not expecting just a few tears.
As soon as you spin the boy to face you, you could see tears streaming down his face. In an attempt to stop the waterfall and any wails, he bites on his bottom lip. And you realize that Changmin desperately needed to be cared for. You pulled him into another hug so that his face was snuggled into the crook of your neck.
With your best friend sobbing, you held him close. In these times, you started to understand what he meant last night—you are a place of solace for him just as he is for you.
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Over the days you were sick, your best friends have been taking care of you—Chanhee mainly handles your medications, Changmin cooks or orders food for you, and Sunwoo takes your temperature and helps you out when it comes to using the bathroom.
Due to your physical state, Sunwoo had to tell Kevin that you were sick and unable to fully deliver in time for your deadline. As soon as he revealed that your editor would help Jacob in taking over for your assigned parts, guilt consumed you since you burdened them. But they were insistent on making sure that you got enough rest.
Stuck in bed, you were watching another episode of Knowing Brothers on your iPad while Sunwoo was scrolling on his phone. Your two other best friends were out of your place busy doing some groceries for you and themselves. As you watch the crew continue to joke around, your phone vibrates. Upon grabbing it, you notice a notification from Jacob.
Now sitting up, your eyes widen at the sight of his name. “What’s wrong?” You hear Sunwoo ask. While you ignore him, you decide to open up the conversation.
cobcob 🐰: hi y/n! i hope you’re okay :] please don’t stress about the article. you did a lot and i’m glad i got to work with you this semester!! cobcob 🐰: hopefully we can work together again for the second sem 💗 cobcob 🐰: or even hang out outside of student journalist duties :] y/n: thank u jacob </3 im very sorry about this T__T y/n: i will make it up to you by treating you to lunch! cobcob 🐰: don’t treat me to lunch!! it’s fine 💗 cobcob 🐰: instead, let me take you out
The moment you gasp causes Sunwoo to get closer to you and peer over your shoulder. Before you could scold him, he gasps as well. “DID HE JUST ASK YOU OUT?!”
“YAH!” You shove your best friend away. “I didn’t even allow you to read my conversation!”
“Oh my god, Y/N! Who cares! How much has progressed between you two?!” He exclaims as he starts shaking your arm. “Have you been keeping secrets from me?!”
You roll your eyes. “I haven’t! There’s just not much worth mentioning,” you admitted shyly.
“Liar,” your best friend says with a frown. “I bet Changmin knows everything.”
“He does.”
Sunwoo gasps and shoves you. “I was joking! But now that I’m finding out that it’s true, I’m hurt. I thought we were besties.”
You let out a sigh. “Then I’ll tell you. But I swear, it’s not much to begin with.” As he raises his eyebrows at you, you take it as a sign to continue. “I told you about what happened at the Halloween party, right?”
“Something happened?!”
You give him a shy smile. “Oops?” Your best friend gasps once more and smacks your arm. “I thought I told you!”
“Well, you didn’t! Does Chanhee know?” When you do not answer, your best friend frowns. “I cannot believe you are keeping secrets from me!”
You laugh and say, “I’m sorry! I’ll give you a full recap—no details will be left out.”
With that, you decided to tell him about the events that happened during Eric’s Halloween party to your supposed informal “date” over fried chicken and kimchi-jjigae. As you told the story, your best friend would gasp and smack your arm every time you revealed a new detail. Sunwoo cannot help but be impressed by how much had gone on.
“I still can’t believe you decided to not tell me.”
You pout in an attempt to earn his forgiveness. “To be fair, we weren’t hanging out much because of different schedules. And I don’t know, I wouldn’t think too much about it until… now.”
It is true—you were trying to find ways to believe that this is just Jacob being friendly. It felt impossible to believe that your crush was trying to pursue you. But with his most recent message, you started to realize that you were blind to his advances after all.
“Well, did you reply?” As soon as your best friend asks that question, your eyes widen. You quickly take a look back down on your phone to see some unread messages from Jacob. 
cobcob 🐰: if you don’t want to though, it’s fine! cobcob 🐰: just let me know 💗
“Oh god, what do I say?” You ask out loud as you point your phone towards Sunwoo.
Your best friend groans and says, “You are hopeless!” You frown as you face your phone back toward you. “Do you want to go on a date with him?”
“Yeah,” you shyly admit.
“Then you know your answer!”
You raise your hand to stop him from saying any more. “Okay, but I was telling Changmin this the other day that I don’t know what to feel towards him.”
“Okay, what’s the problem?”
You sigh as you look over the same message. “Honestly, I don’t know. I feel like I still idolize him, and I don’t know if I really connected with him during our time working together.” You look up to your best friend. “Like he’s nice and I really enjoy talking to him, but I really do think I put him on this pedestal. I would like to think of him as a friend, but a part of me still sees him as the senior I had a stupid crush on.”
Sunwoo only hums as he thinks over your words. “What did Changmin say?”
“He was saying I can take my time figuring it out really.” Your best friend hums once more.
“I don’t think a date will do any harm,” he starts off. “I mean, it might help you figure out what you want after all. And it’s not like you need to figure it out then and there.”
Your best friend had a point; you could go on a date without any expectation to understand your feelings after. You let out a sigh before looking down once more at your phone. Once you type out your message, you send it without looking back.
“Done!” You exclaim as you let yourself fall back down on the bed. “Can’t believe I’m going on a date with him.”
Sunwoo only smiles at you before he goes back to his phone. Unbeknownst to you, he messages Changmin about what just occurred between you and Jacob.
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It is 3:34 PM. It has been a few hours since you replied to Jacob’s message. Now, you and your three best friends were watching 2 Days & 1 Night in the living room while waiting for the food to come.
You were wrapped in your blanket as you rested your head on Changmin’s lap while he rested his hand on your shoulder, rubbing it in a circular motion. With your eyes still trained on the television screen, you remain unaware of all the glances and smirks your two other best friends were shooting at Changmin.
“What do you guys have planned for winter break?” You decide to ask as you continue to watch the variety show.
“I’m going to Pyeongchang with my family,” Sunwoo shares as he looks at you and Changmin.
“My family hates snow, so we’re going to Malaysia.”
You hum at Chanhee’s answer before turning your body so that you could face Changmin. “What about you?”
“I think I’m just staying at Cheongju. My noonas are coming back home for the winter.”
You gasp as you sit up and say, “Yuna and Hanhee are coming home?! Oh my god, I miss them!”
During your high school years growing close with Changmin, his sisters have grown fond of your presence. Despite the age difference, Yuna and Hanhee have taken care of you as much as they do with their brother. You ended up being part of the Ji family with how much they cared for you during your years in high school.
“Yeah,” he says with a smile. “I haven’t seen them since 2nd-year winter break.”
Before you could say anything, Sunwoo decides to ask you a question. “Oh yeah, aren’t you supposed to be going to Japan for the break?” You shake your head before resting your back on the couch.
“It didn’t push through because my parents are going to be out of the country for a business trip,” you sigh. “I’m just going to be here rotting.”
“Really? You don’t have other relatives to spend the break with?” Chanhee asks you.
You shake your head with a sigh following. For most of your life, your parents have been attentive to you. However, when you started going to university, they grew busier due to more demand and obligations. You do not hold it against them for having to cancel the winter break plans—it had to be done and you knew there would be another time to go to Japan.
“Why don’t you try spending it with Changmin’s family?” Sunwoo suggests which makes you snap out of your thoughts. Before you could say anything, he says, “I mean, the Ji family does love you. What do you think, Changmin?”
You turn your head towards Changmin whose eyes were trained on Sunwoo and eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t want to intrude, really. I’ll be fine–”
“No, it’s okay,” your best friend cuts off. As he looks back at you, he shoots you a smile. “I’m sure my family would not mind having you for the winter break.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying here.”
Changmin rolls his eyes and says, “It’s okay, we love having you in the house.” You allow yourself to smile. “I’m sure they would love to see you after 2 years.”
With that, he wraps his arm around your waist and brings you closer to him. You rest your head on his shoulder and continue to watch the variety show playing on the screen, unaware of the smirks your two other friends had.
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“Oh god, am I mixing this right?”
Jacob peers over your shoulder and looks at what you are doing. As soon as he sees the mess, he cannot hold back his laugh.
You exclaim as you look back at the boy behind you. “Are you laughing?!”
“You’re fine! It’s just that I thought you overmixed but it’s very undermixed.”
Before you continue with the task at hand, you roll your eyes. “I barely bake, okay?” You shoot a playful glare at the boy who stood beside you who was mixing up the frosting.
“And I don’t bake, too!” He attempts to defend himself and then nudges your shoulder. “But you have to admit, this is fun.” You cannot help but smile.
It has been a week since Jacob asked you out on a date. You were able to recover from your fever thanks to your friends (which was honestly just an excuse for them to have a slumber party at your place). It was fun though—you kind of miss having them in your place.
Now, you were in a bakery that Jacob would frequent. He grew closer to the couple that runs it due to his visits. And somehow, he managed to reserve the kitchen for only you two to use (under the supervision of the owners, of course).
You could not lie—the date is cute. It is not the usual “dine-and-talk” that you have heard some of your friends go on. When Sunwoo went on his first date back in high school, you could remember how you and Changmin helped him plan it out.
“I don’t know what to do!” Sunwoo exclaims as he looks through his clothes. He moved every hanger, unsatisfied with every piece of clothing he had.
You and Changmin were lounging on Sunwoo’s twin bed with homework out while your best friend was having a dilemma. “I still can’t believe you managed to ask out Soojin,” you voice out as you were scribbling down the scientific names of common flowers. You nudge Changmin and ask, “Is this right?”
He takes a peek at your homework and lets out a chuckle. “You misspelled it. It’s Leucadendron—not Lucadeldron.” You roll your eyes as you erase your mistake.
“Science is not for me,” you say as you write the correct spelling.
“Yeah, well we all knew that,” Sunwoo mumbles under his breath as he still looks at his closet.
“Yah!” You grab a pillow and throw it at the guy. “Don’t you want us to help you?”
He turns around and frowns at you and Changmin. “I do, but you two aren’t even trying!” He points at the papers scattered on his bed. “How are you helping me if you’re studying?!”
Changmin sighs before dropping his pencil and getting off the bed. “Okay, what do you have in mind for tomorrow? Do you know where you’re going to take her?” As soon as Sunwoo shakes his head, you could only laugh in disbelief.
“You don’t have an idea?” Once you ask that, his eyes throw daggers in your direction. “I’m just shocked! To be fair, you have liked this girl since, so I thought you had something in mind.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t,” he sighs as he takes a seat on his bed. “This is terrible! I don’t want my first date to go bad.”
You and Changmin share a look as Sunwoo continues to wallow in anxiety. The two of you knew how much this means to your best friend. Who would not panic over going on a date with their long-time crush—let alone a first date? While Sunwoo was lost in his thoughts, Changmin pointed at his closet, giving you a silent signal that he would take care of his outfit.
“Okay, we’ll help you!” You scoot closer to Sunwoo and rest your hand on his shoulder. “Does she like to play board games? You can take her to the board game restaurant we always go to.”
“She doesn’t like playing board games.” He scratches the back of his neck. “She’s very competitive, and you know me.”
You sigh as you watch Changmin pull out a nice button-up shirt. “Well, does she like the aquarium?”
“She’s scared of fish.” As he says that, you tilt your head in confusion. “I don’t know. She once mentioned that she’s scared of the glass breaking.”
“Okay, can’t judge her entirely for that,” you chuckled under your breath as you thought about it more. You look over at Changmin who now holds three different hangers of clothing and decide to joke. “Changmin, do you have any ideas? Perhaps you’ve gone on a date?”
Your best friend looks over at you two as he still holds up some hangers of clothing. “Uh, yeah.” As he says that, your eyes widen in shock.
“You have?!” Sunwoo exclaims which has Changmin rolling his eyes.
“I was a sophomore when I went on a date with someone from the math honors society,” he answers as he raises a pair of jeans to envision the look he has in mind.
You gaped at him, in shock over what he revealed. “Goddamn, I thought you were bitchless.” Sunwoo cannot help but laugh beside you.
“Hey, that’s a good one.” As the two of you high-five, Changmin frowns.
“Yah! I’m not gonna give date ideas. You two figure it out,” he says as he continues to flip through whatever is in Sunwoo’s closet.
“No! C’mon, please! We won’t bully you anymore,” Sunwoo begs, only to be met with a sighing Changmin.
He looks over at the two of you once more who sat on the bed. “What does she like?”
Sunwoo hummed as he thought it over. “Well, she likes books, music, scrapbooking, and food.”
“Hm, you could bring her to the antique bookstore that Y/N and I always go to,” Changmin suggests only to earn a frown from Sunwoo. “Oh, I forgot that you hate reading.”
You tongue the inside of your cheek. “Well, you could also opt for a picnic date with some scrapbooking?” Your best friends look at you with eyebrows raised. “I mean, I should have some extra materials to spare since I stopped journaling.” When they continue to stare at you, you frown. “Jeez, don’t take my suggestion!”
“No, it’s good!” Changmin quickly says as he hangs the clothing pieces on the door for them to see. “I think this fit would be good for a picnic—fresh look!” The look is a navy blue collar shirt and a white tank top paired with beige jeans.
Sunwoo hums at the sight. “Damn, you guys are good with this, especially you,” he says as he looks at you.
Your eyebrows shoot up in confusion. “Me?”
“Yeah.” Changmin walks to the bed and goes back to answering his homework. “I wish I thought of doing that with someone,” he mutters under his breath.
You shrug and roll over. “To be fair, it’s something I would like. I don’t know if it is up Soojin’s alley, but it's worth a shot!”
Before you and Changmin could go back to work, Sunwoo jumps on you two which has you groaning. “Thanks, by the way. Once you guys go on future dates, I’ll help you out.”
You could only laugh as you continue to write some nonsensical names. “The day I go on a date is the day we know that nothing is real. Ain’t no way I’m finding love.”
And a few years later, you still could not believe you are on your first official date. Sunwoo did pull through; picking out some clothes; telling you what to do; easing your anxiety for the most part. You would have looped in Changmin for this but he was busy with schoolwork as finals season is approaching.
Since your best friends took care of you, you have not heard from him in a while. All you would get were short responses and excuses about why he could not talk or see you. You do not hold it against him though—he needed this time to focus on his thesis anyway.
“There we go!” Jacob exclaims as he looks over at your mixing bowl. “That looks good. We can pour it into the baking pan.” Once you nod, he moves the tray closer for you to pour into. Ever so slowly, the mixture created beautiful folds. The sight alone made you hungry.
“I’m so tempted to eat this cake batter up.” He laughs and takes the tray.
“We can’t have that happening! You need to wait,” he says as he walks closer to the oven that was preheated before you two started. You walk towards him to help in opening the oven so that he could place it in.
As soon as you shut it close, Jacob raises his hand for a high-five. “We did good,” you say as you high-five him back. “Hopefully, it turns out good.”
Jacob shrugs and says, “And if it doesn’t, I’d still be glad that we did this.” You only show him a small smile.
Everything in you wanted to agree with him. And yet, you hate that you could not agree with him wholeheartedly. You knew that your two best friends told you that you did not need to figure out your feelings for Jacob right after the first date. But oddly enough, you felt like pushing forward with him is almost like pushing mountains—unable to budge.
But it is not fair to completely shut him out without giving him another chance. At the end of everything, you want your first boyfriend to be him—you just needed time to rethink what you wanted. With that, you whisper, “Yeah, me too,” in hopes that all would be figured out.
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At long last, you were done with the first semester. Oddly enough, you found yourself concluding finals season on a good note; saying goodbye to good groupmates and professors; acing projects you worked hard on; leaving classes with so much learned. The journey was not easy (and you would never want to experience it again), but you knew the next semester would be just as difficult.
Winter break came a week ago. Although Chanhee and Sunwoo already packed their bags and left as soon as it started, Changmin said that you two would leave as soon as the second week came in at the request of his parents. You did not mind waiting around, really. If anything, you were glad that you would be able to join them for the holidays.
It is 4:34 PM when you and Changmin arrive at Cheongju. As you take a deep breath of the air, you smile. It has been 2 years since you last stepped foot in this place. You notice that when you exhale, you see the air due to the cold temperature.
“Oh, I missed being here,” you mutter to yourself as you hold onto a hand-carry that carries your clothes for your seven-day stay in the Ji household. As you hear Changmin hum, you whip your head in his direction. For a moment, you swear he had his eyes on you briefly, but he was only looking off into the distance.
“Yeah,” he says with a small smile on his face. He fishes out his phone from his pocket and looks through his notifications. “I think Yuna noona should already be here. Let’s go to the pickup area.”
With that, you two drag your small luggage and make your way out of the train station to the curbside pickup point. Dozens of cars were lined up; some from those who resided in Cheongju while most were taxis. While Changmin was busy trying to get ahold of his sister, you stood close to him.
You have not told Changmin about what went down on your date with Jacob. The last time you talked about him was when you told your friends about him asking you on a date.
“So, I have some news to share with you all.”
You and your friends were sitting by the kitchen island with platters of gopchang and gimbap along with a bowl of ox bone soup. Since you were well from your fever, this would be the last night your friends were going to spend at your place. Everyone decided that today’s dinner should be good.
“What news?” Sunwoo asks with food in his mouth.
You say with furrowed eyebrows, “About my thing with Jacob.” Unbeknownst to you, your friends were already aware of what you were referring to.
“Your date with Jacob?”
As he says those words, you squeal before grabbing your phone. Once you open up your conversation with your crush, you hand off your phone to Changmin who is seated beside you. “I can’t believe he asked me out!”
Chanhee sighs and says, “I hate to break it to you, but Sunwoo already told us a few days ago.” With that revelation, you gasp.
“Are you serious, Kim Sunwoo?! I wanted to tell them!” You whine with your arms crossed.
The boy gives you a sheepish smile. “I just wanted to share the good news.” You roll your eyes at his response.
“I’m not going to tell you anything at this rate.”
With a pout on his face, he whines, “No! Don’t keep stuff from me, please.”
Before you could say anything, Changmin hands you your phone. “I’m happy for you,” he whispers with a small smile. You do not think much of his response, but when you notice your other best friends’ eyes on him, you cannot help but overthink.
When he continues to eat his food, the table falls into silence. For once, it was not comfortable at all.
Although you found yourself thinking about his reaction, you told yourself to not get too lost in your thoughts. There is no reason for you to rethink his words when all he has done is be honest with you. And if he was not ready to share something with you, you would be respectful of his boundaries.
Before you could get lost in your thoughts, you hear someone call out your name. “Y/N-ah!” As you look in the direction of where that sound came from, you see Yuna in a padded jacket. She stood by her car with a big smile on her face.
Without a thought, you grab onto Changmin’s hand with your free hand and jog to her. “Yuna! I’ve missed you!” You exclaim as you let go of your best friend’s hand and pull her into a hug.
“And I’ve missed you,” she responds as she holds you close to her. “I can’t believe it has been more than three years since I last saw you.”
Once you two let go of each other, she smiles at her brother and grabs onto his arm. “C’mon, give me a hug as well.” Although he rolls his eyes the moment she wraps her arms around him, he allows himself to melt in the hug. You knew how much he missed his sisters even if he would never admit it to them.
As soon as the two stop hugging each other, Yuna claps her hands. “C’mon, let’s get in the car. Eomma has been waiting for you two since the break started.”
As she gets in the driver’s seat, you and Changmin go to the trunk to stow away your luggage. Once you open it, Changmin grabs onto your luggage. “Let me,” he says. Before you could protest, he pulls it away from you and places your luggage neatly before he sets his down beside yours.
You smile at him the moment he closes the trunk. “Thanks.” All he does is smile and nudge your shoulder.
“You can pay me back by doing all my chores.”
“Yah!” As you scowl, all he does is laugh.
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“Eomma! Y/N and Changmin are here!” Yuna calls out while she tries to remove her shoes. “You can put your shoes here,” she tells you as she points at the shoe rack. As you and Changmin set your shoes aside, she opens the door for you three. Before she goes off, she says, “I’ll just find eomma.”
When you first step into the Ji household, you notice that everything is almost the same as when you last visited; the walls were still off-white and littered with picture frames of the family throughout the years; the soban is the same one you remember stubbing your toe against during the dinners you were invited to; the aura that emits from being in this household is still as homey as ever.
A rush of nostalgia fills you—your heart aches nicely as you remember your memories in this home. But before you can reminisce, something snarls. Your eyes set on a poodle who runs in your direction, barking non-stop at you.
“Gana!” Your best friend exclaims as he crouches in front of his dog. Although the poodle continues to snarl at you, he only smiles as he holds his dog close to his chest. “I’ve missed you so much.”
You sigh with a frown on your face. “I think Gana forgot about me. He was never this aggressive back when I would visit.”
He only laughs as he continues to shower Gana with love. “I don’t think he ever liked you.” When he says those words, you gasp.
“Well, I don’t like him either!”
“That is a lie and we all know it. You want him to love you as much as he loves me,” he says as pets Gana.
Before you could say anything, you were interrupted by someone’s squeal. “Y/N-ah!” Your eyes rip away from the two and land on Changmin’s mom who is already rushing to you.
“Eomeoni!” You manage to say before she pulls you into a hug.
“What did I tell you about calling me that? Just call me eomma,” she says before letting you go. She pinches your cheeks with a big smile on her face. “Ah, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you.”
It is true. The last time you saw her was when you and Sunwoo graduated from high school. Changmin found time to go back home just in time to celebrate his best friends’ graduation. On that night, your families gathered for dinner to celebrate everything—whether small or big. You could remember that a few weeks later, you and Sunwoo had to pack your bags so that you could move to your apartments situated close to the university.
You smile at her and say, “Eomma, you’re still as young as when I last saw you.” With such flattery, she cannot help but grin at you.
As she lets go of your cheek, she shoots a smile at her son. “Changmin-ah,” she says while walking closer to him. Your best friend lets go of his dog and smiles at her. The moment he hugs her, you cannot help but feel your heart warm at the sight.
“Ah, you’re still as handsome as ever,” she coos, which has him blushing in embarrassment.
With a shy smile on his face, he says, “Eomma, you don’t need to say that in front of Y/N.” All you can do is giggle at your embarrassed friend while his mother ignores his request.
“Y/N-ah,” she says as she lets go of him. “You’ll be sleeping in Changmin’s room while he’ll sleep in the living room.”
Your eyes widen in shock as you attempt to protest. “Eomma, it’s okay! I’ll be fine sleeping in the living room.” She shakes her head as she grabs onto your hand.
“No, I already talked about this with Changmin on the phone. He said it’s fine.” As she reveals that information, you look at your best friend who only smiled at you. With a pout on your face, Changmin’s mom drags you to his room while you hold onto your luggage.
As she opens the door to Changmin’s room, you are met with the same room you stayed after every dismissal time. “I cleaned up a bit, but I didn’t want to mess with Changmin’s things,” his mom admits as you take a step into his room.
Similar to the rest of the household, nothing changed; the single bed that you, Changmin, and Sunwoo would work on was still pressed up against the wall; the black oak bookshelf that held his old books still had the carvings you three would leave every once in a while; the corkboard that hung on the wall still had pictures and tokens throughout his grade school and high school years; the wall mounted shelf that held his trophies and medals. In this room, you could see Changmin in every corner—the one you got to know back in high school and the one who you cared for even until now.
“Changmin might come in every once in a while to get some clothes, but I’ll make sure he respects your privacy.”
You let out a laugh at what she says. “Eomma, it’s okay. I don’t mind him bothering me. If anything, I need to thank him and you for allowing me to stay for the break.”
She gives you another smile and says, “Anytime.” She pinches your cheek once more (to which you smile) and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her.
You leave your hand-carry by the door as you look around the room once more. As you walk to the corkboard littered with photographs, you can spot ones with you and Sunwoo in them. Ranging from competitions to the first days of school, you smile at how much you three have grown through the years—from old uniforms and shabby haircuts to stylish clothing and redefined faces.
As your eyes scan through the other tokens such as ticket stubs and receipts, you spot cutouts of your articles along with his pictures that accompanied yours. Just from the sight, you cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug. You always knew he did this with your past collaborations, but seeing it after a while never fails to make you smile.
Although you try to rest your hand on the desk, your hand ends up hitting the handle of the drawer. You raise your head in pain and hiss at the sudden impact. “Shit,” you mutter to yourself.
Your eyes settle down on the drawer that is now slightly open. You were going to close it—you are not the type to snoop. But when you notice a paper that has the name of your university’s publication at the bottom corner, your hand reaches out to open the drawer further.
You could not believe what you were seeing—it is a cutup of your article on hustle culture in organizations. As your hand grabs onto it, you notice that there are more pieces of paper. While you sift through the cutouts, you realize it is all your articles during your time in the university’s publication.
Throughout your university life, you were always under the impression that Changmin would read your pieces—never keep them like how he did back in high school. And yet to see the stack of cutouts that had your byline had you like ice cream on a hot day. There were no right words to describe what you are feeling now for you did not even understand it. 
Still in shock, you stack them neatly in the drawer before shutting it close. Before you could recollect your thoughts, you hear the door swing open.
“Y/N?” Changmin calls out as his head peeks out. As he notices your shocked expression, he frowns. “Are you okay?”
You quickly show him a smile. “Yeah, I was just looking at the photos,” you lie as you point at the corkboard. “I can’t believe we were so young.”
He chuckles as he steps in, taking in his childhood room. Once he stands beside you, he takes a good look at his corkboard full of memories. “Do you remember when we took this?” With his finger pointing at a certain photograph, you cannot help but smile.
The picture was of you, Changmin, and Sunwoo having a picnic during the winter season—red noses and snowflakes on everyone’s hair. All dressed in padded jackets, you can remember how your fingers were about to fall off from the cold while you three attempted to do some scrapbooking.
“God, why did we even do that?”
Changmin nudges your shoulder. “Because you talked about wanting to go on a picnic before, remember?”
Once you look at him, you notice that he was already smiling at you. “For a date! And it didn’t have to be in the fucking cold,” you say as you roll your eyes.
“Hey, you still enjoyed it!” He exclaims to which you only sigh in defeat. It is true—you can remember how you almost cried over your friends preparing that picnic for you.
You used to be bothered by your uneventful love life (even if you did complain every once in a while). But when you remember what your friends did to remind you of their love for you, you realize that it is not bad to have nothing going on—you always have them to keep you company when you need it.
Before you could say anything, Changmin let out a sigh. “C’mon, we’re about to have dinner.” He grabs your hand before shooting you another smile. “I’m sure everyone wants to know everything about you.” You wish you could pinpoint the reason behind your heartstrings tugging. 
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Everyone was gathered around the soban which carried a hearty spread of kimchi, bulgogi, jjajangmyeon, and yukgaejang. The sight of these deliciously prepared dishes had your mouth watering, but the smell of it all is to die for. Aside from the times Changmin has cooked you food when you were sick, you cannot remember the last time you had a homemade meal.
“Please, go eat!” Changmin’s dad says as he hands Changmin the bowl of spicy beef broth.
As you grin at his parents, you do not notice your best friend grabbing your bowl to pour some yukgaejang for you. You cannot help but stare at him as he pours the perfect amount of soup for you to eat.
“Thanks,” you whisper as he hands you back your bowl.
He shoots you a small smile before proceeding to do the same with everyone else. “Yah, that’s too much!” Yuna exclaims, which causes her brother to stop putting any more soup into her bowl. “You know how much Y/N wants but not how much I want?”
“Yuna noona, I don’t see you all the time,” he attempts to defend himself as he pours himself some soup while she berates him.
You wish you could comment—a bowl of soup should not mean that much. And yet, you cannot help but stare down at the bowl that holds the perfect amount for you.
“Hey, let’s not have this happen in front of our guest.” Changmin’s dad tries to break the quarrel. “Come on,” he says as he grabs the bowl of yukgaejang from his son. “I’ll take care of me and your eomma.”
Once Yuna was done grabbing some jjajangmyeon for herself, she passed the bowl to her brother. “What time is unnie and Byungho oppa coming home?” She asks while she places some bulgogi on her plate.
When Changmin grabs the right amount of black bean noodles for you, you give him a shy smile. “You know, you can get yourself some food first. I can handle getting my own.” All he does is shake his head, ignoring your request.
“Both of them should be arriving early in the morning,” Changmin’s dad says before taking a sip of the soup. “Ah, another good meal prepared by eomma.” As he says those words, your best friend’s mom cannot help but smile. You cannot help but smile at the sight of them in love.
After Changmin grabs his serving of jjajangmyeon, he takes the platter of bulgogi and places a few pieces on your plate before his. “Let me know if you ever want more,” he says before handing it off to his parents.
You shoot him a small smile before grabbing onto your bowl. Once you take a sip of the yukgaejang, you cannot help but moan—the spicy beef broth coats your tongue that has you hissing out of joy. “Eomma, it’s so good,” you say before taking another sip of the soup.
Changmin’s mom grins at you and says, “Thank you! Please eat well.”
As you all ate to your hearts’ and bellies’ contents, the Ji family would interview you and Changmin about all that has happened over the years. In the same way you expect to be bombarded with questions every time you visit your parents, you do not get overwhelmed by the interrogation. That is until the spotlight is put on your best friend.
“Changmin-ah, you’re already in your senior year—are you not dating anyone?” His mom asks which has him choking on his soup.
After you pat his back while he coughs, he says, “Eomma, I’ve been busy with school and dance.” As he says those words, his mother frowns.
“But what will happen after you graduate? College is the time to find that perfect someone!”
“Or maybe he’s still hung up on Suyeon,” Yuna snickers before taking a bite of her bulgogi.
Ji Suyeon—the girl from the math honors society that Changmin went on a date with. After he revealed to you and Sunwoo about his first date, you two did not stop interrogating him. What came as a big shock to Sunwoo is that he has gone on multiple dates with her—from dine-and-talks to board game ones.
But the biggest shocker for you is that they were together for a few weeks. When your best friend spoke of his past relationship, he did not hold any ill feelings toward her. The two ended their relationship on mutual terms—their priorities did not line up.
“Hey, I’m not!” Your best friend attempts to defend himself with a frown on his face. “I haven’t even thought about her in years.” Yuna only shrugs before going back to eating.
“Y/N-ah,” Changmin’s mom calls out, which has you looking at her. “You’re always with him. Does no one find him attractive there?”
You scratch the back of your head and manage to say a few words, “Uh, I’m sure people do find him handsome. But I wouldn’t know too much since he hasn’t mentioned anything.” With a sheepish smile on your face, you cannot help but feel your face burn at calling your best friend good-looking right in front of him and his family.
“Eomma,” he whines after taking a sip of his soup. “I’m not interested in anyone right now. If anything, aren’t you happy that I’m focused on my studies?”
She sighs, “But I don’t want you to be lonely. Did you know that your dad and I met in college?”
“Eomma, we know.” Yuna shakes her head as she grabs some more bulgogi. “You always talk about it.”
As soon as Changmin’s mom shoots a look at her husband, he sighs. “Your mom is only looking out for you, okay? She just doesn’t want you to miss out on finding the love of your life.”
Their son sighs at their words. For a moment, you do not know if you should step in and back him up. With your eyes on his side profile, you notice that he is deep in thought. But when he turns his head to face you, you feel yourself crumble under his stare.
“I’m happy with Y/N.” You cannot help but feel your eyes widen. Staring right back at him, you do not know what to make of his words. But he does not allow you to think about it as he chokes out the words, “And with the other friends I have.” He looks back at his family. “I’m sure I’ll figure it out, so no need to worry.”
With a smile on his face, his parents eventually let go of the topic. Although they continue to talk about the other things happening in their lives, you still find your mind pondering on the first half of his words.
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It is 10:15 AM. You were in the kitchen helping Changmin’s mom prepare some kimchi for the next month. Although she kept denying your help, you kept insisting by saying that it is only right to help out with anything at home since they allowed you to stay over for the holidays.
“Like this, eomma?” You ask as you show her the cabbage coated in kimchi paste.
She looks at your work and nods. “You’re doing it right! Cover it in more paste and it will be good.” You follow her instructions and continue to coat the other cabbage leaves with the same amount of paste. “How are your parents?”
You look up at her with a small smile on your face. “They’re okay. I called them last night, and they wanted to thank you again for having me over.”
“Don’t even worry about it,” she says as she shakes her head. “I consider you family—whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.”
You cannot help but smile at her words. It is true—Changmin’s mom has always been there for you and Sunwoo whenever you needed her. Even after Changmin graduated from high school, you two always found themselves in the Ji household. There were cases where your parents could not have dinner with you which meant eating with Changmin’s parents. You are thankful for them—they are your second family.
The sounds of her favorite radio station accompanied you two as you work. While you were focused on preparing the kimchi, you do not notice when someone enters the kitchen. “I thought you’d be more happy to see me.” When you look up, you cannot help but gasp at the person’s presence.
“Hanhee!” You exclaim as you quickly stand up from your seat. As she wraps her arms around you, you try to hug her back while making sure that no kimchi paste gets on her. “I’ve missed you so much.”
As she lets go of you, you see a big smile on her face. “My bestie, I’ve missed you.” You step aside so that her mom could hug her as well.
“My Hanhee,” she says as she gives her daughter a big hug. “Have you settled in already?”
Once Hanhee nods, the three of you take a seat. “So, how are you, Y/N? Is my brother still causing you trouble?” You can only laugh as you coat a cabbage leaf with kimchi paste.
“Well… he’s definitely something,” you speak as you work. “But I’m doing very well. He’s been a big help.” Hanhee hums as she watches you and her mom make some more kimchi. “What about you? How are you?”
She gives you two a smile before saying, “Surprisingly, I’m very happy where I am. Work can be stressful but… at least my fiancé is there to support me.”
“Fiancé?! You and Byungho are engaged?!” As you gasp, Changmin’s mom cannot help but laugh.
“Hanhee and Byungho recently got engaged,” she says as she removes her plastic gloves. “I’ll go get the container while you two talk.” As soon as she leaves the kitchen, Hanhee shoots you a smile.
“I’m so happy for you.”
She lets out a happy sigh. “I know, I can’t believe he proposed. Who would’ve expected that I would marry my best friend?”
As she says those words, your mind cannot help but drift to Changmin. The idea of him all dressed up in a suit as he stands by the—wait, why were you thinking about this? You briefly frown and shake your head at the thought.
“Honestly, you and Byungho are soulmates,” you say with a smile in an attempt to cover up for whatever had you in your thoughts.
She chuckles before asking, “Do you think my brother is your soulmate?” You cannot help but physically reel at her question which has her laughing. “Like, platonic soulmate, you know?”
You bite the inside of your cheek as you ponder her words. Changmin has always been your best friend—the reason why you are able to keep on going. In the same way Byungho and Hanhee support each other, you two always look out for each other. But would it be right to call him your soulmate?
Before you could answer, Yuna and Changmin came into the kitchen. “Hanhee noona,” your best friend says as he hugs his sister. “Where’s Byungho hyung?”
“Already looking for him? Why don’t you spend time with your noona?” Hanhee teases as she keeps her arms wrapped around him.
Yuna takes a seat beside you as she looks at the kimchi. “Wow, Y/N is helping eomma out while Changmin is lounging around.” She clicks her tongue which causes Changmin to frown at her.
“Hey, I didn’t know!” He attempts to defend himself. “Eomma usually doesn’t let me help out when it comes to kimchi.”
Hanhee shakes her head as she finally lets go of her brother. “Look at Y/N doing all that they can to help out while your lazy ass is just spending time with Gana.”
“To be fair, Gana misses me.”
“Gana misses everyone,” Yuna says as she rolls her eyes. “Why don’t you go help out appa and Byungho oppa outside?”
Changmin frowns at you three before saying, “I hate you three.” As soon as he leaves the kitchen, you and his sisters cannot help but laugh.
“It’s always so fun to rile him up,” Hanhee laughs.
“Honestly, it’s one of my favorite things to do every time we come back here.” Yuna smiles at you two. “Anyway, unnie, tell me what has been going on with you!” As the three of you talk about anything and everything, you do not forget about Hanhee’s question. For now, you will shove it to the back of your mind.
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The next day comes. You and Changmin were on your way to pick up some food from a restaurant you two used to frequent back in high school. Since his mom had stuff to attend to, everyone agreed that it would be fine to have some takeout for today’s lunch. Although your best friend was supposed to go alone, you thought it would be good to join along (mainly because you wanted to explore the city with him as well).
“God, it still looks the same,” you say as you two were walking with linked arms. As you pass by the old mart you, Sunwoo, and Changmin would go to after school, you cannot help but gasp. “Even the mart is the same!”
Your best friend rolls his eyes over your excited behavior but cannot hide the smile that shows on his lips. “You’ve been gone for two years; I don’t think too much can change.”
“You never know!” You nudge your best friend’s shoulder. “Two years ago, I was still under the impression that Hanhee and Byungho were still girlfriend and boyfriend—not engaged.”
He shakes his head and lets out a sigh. “To be fair, I think we all expected that they would end up marrying each other.”
Before you could say anymore, you two finally arrived in front of the restaurant. The exterior of it still looked the same but old; the paint has chipped off of the letters; the wood’s color resembles sand; the fairy lights did not shine as brightly as they used to. And yet, you cannot help but smile at the place that sheltered your friend group.
As soon as Changmin swings the door open, you attempt to unlink your arm with his so that you could enter first. And yet, he makes sure that his hand still holds onto your arm. You cannot help but feel your heart warm at the action. Your best friend has always been the clingy type, so why are you feeling all of these now?
The moment you two enter, he links his arm once more with yours. The restaurant is small, only having six tables with each one having two chairs of their own. It seemed that there were only five customers in as they ate away on their tteokbokki and ramyeon. The cashier is manned by the one and only person who your friend group has grown close to over the high school years. Once his eyes trail up towards you two, the shock on his face is one for the books.
“Y/N-ah!” Minho, the owner of the restaurant, exclaims as he makes his way towards you. As soon as he reaches you, he wraps his arms around you two. You cannot help but melt in the hug. As soon as he lets go of you two, he looks at the boy who went back to linking arms with you and says, “Of course, Changmin! Oh, you grow even more handsome every time I see you.” Your best friend cannot help but give him a small smile.
“I’ve missed you, harabeoji.” As you pout, Minho cannot help but pinch your cheek.
“We’re here to pick up the food my dad ordered,” Your best friend says as he holds you close to his side.
Minho nods with a smile on his face. “Of course.” He makes his way back to the counter which you two follow. “It’s so nice to see you after so long,” he says as he grabs onto a plastic bag. “I see that time still treats you two well.” As he points at your linked arms, you cannot help but tilt your head in confusion. “I mean, I’m happy to see that you guys are together! I never knew you two liked each other that way.”
As soon as he says those words, your eyes widen. This cannot be happening again—what changed between you and Changmin to come off as a couple to almost everyone? You look at your best friend who stood beside you with a flustered expression.
“Ah no, it’s not like that,” he coughs out before grabbing onto the plastic bag that held containers of tteokbokki.
Once you look at Minho, you notice a disappointed expression on his face. “Oh, I see. But I’m still happy to see you two are still friends!”
Despite his attempt to clear up the awkward air, you cannot deny the unsettling feeling in your stomach. With people questioning the nature of your relationship with Changmin (along with the news of Minhee’s and Byungho’s engagement), you were not sure if what you have with him is platonic as you make it out to be.
It should not matter though. Whatever you have with Changmin is your business—not anyone else’s. What if your best friend always found himself linking arms with you? What if your best friend always takes care of you whenever you are drunk? What if your best friend still keeps newspaper clippings of what you write?
And what if you crave his presence? What if you care so much about what he feels? What if you cherish all of his competitions and wins? What if you did think of Changmin as your soulmate? But none of these should matter—what you two have is perfectly platonic. 
“Well, how long are you two staying here?” Minho snaps you out of your thoughts
With a bitter smile, your best friend says, “We’re only here until the end of this week.”
Minho cannot help but pout at his revelation. “I see,” he sighs. “But it’s still nice to see you, Y/N, especially after all these years.”
You shoot him a smile before saying, “Harabeoji, this might not be the last time I see you.” You take a quick glance at your best friend who seemed to have his eyes on you. “I’m sure Changmin and I can go here once more before we leave.”
“Ah, that’s my Y/N—still as caring as ever.” Your smile gets bigger as he says those words. “Tell your parents I say hi,” he tells your best friend to which he nods.
As soon as you two bid farewell to Minho, you make your way out of the restaurant, arms still linked with each other. Although the silence should have been comfortable, you cannot deny that Minho’s comment had you wondering about your relationship.
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When the night comes, you are seated beside Changmin on his futon while Yuna, Hanhee, and Byungho stay on the couch. Changmin’s parents decided to call the day early and went to sleep early. It has been a while since you five last hung out together like this (while still missing Sunwoo).
“Sunwoo is pulling bitches?!” With the way Yuna exclaims, you cannot help but burst into laughter and lean on your best friend while Hanhee smacks her arm.
“Yah! Don’t be too loud when you curse!” The sister scowls before leaning back into the arms of her fiancé. Yuna frowns at her sister as she rubs on the spot where she was smacked. “But I can’t believe our little Sunwoo has grown up.”
You roll your eyes as you rest your chin on your best friend’s shoulder. “Barely,” you mutter, which only has Changmin chuckling. “He is unfortunately still as immature as he was in high school. I don’t know what people see in him.”
“I can only imagine,” Hanhee sighs. “But enough about Sunwoo, what about you? Has anyone stolen your little heart?”
When she raises that question, you cannot help but feel your cheeks get warm. As soon as the two sisters notice your flustered expression, they gasp. “Y/N! What have you been keeping from us?!” Hanhee exclaims, which makes Yuna scowl at her.
“I thought we agreed to not be too loud!”
Hanhee rolls her eyes and says, “Yeah, but that was before I found out that Y/N has a boyfriend!”
You lift your chin from Changmin’s shoulder and shake your head. “It’s not a boyfriend.”
“But it’s still someone, right?” Yuna shows you a teasing smile.
You feel your breath hitch in your throat. Jacob Bae is that supposed someone to you, right? So why could you not find it within yourself to answer the question?
“He’s a 5th-year student who works in the university’s newspaper,” your best friend takes over as he grabs hold of your hand that rests on the space between you two. Your heart warms at the action. “They’ve only gotten closer this year.”
The two sisters hum at the information their brother shares. “A senior, huh? I’m impressed,” Yuna says before looking at Hanhee. “Wasn’t Byungho oppa a senior when you first met him?”
The sister nods as she looks at her fiancé. “Yeah,” she mutters as the two smile at each other.
In that shared moment, your mind wanders off to how nice it would be to be secured in the idea of having an “each other.” Although you have accepted a possible reality where you will be forced to work to the bone, a part of you longed to still have someone who you could go back home to—you wish for a future where there will always be a place of solace curated just for you.
“For your information, your sister and I are only a year apart,” Byungho says as he finally rips his gaze away from Hanhee to look at Yuna. “But yes, I was a senior in high school. Imagine if Hanhee joined the chess club earlier—maybe we could’ve been together for longer.”
“Not even! I used to hate your guts when I first joined,” Hanhee argues despite Byungho’s arms still wrapped around her figure.
The fiancé chuckles before he snuggles his face into the side of her neck. “But we’re here after nine years—isn’t that funny to think about?” And truth be told, it is comical for you all in this room. Who would have imagined that the cocky (but loser) senior wooed the cold-hearted junior?
“God, get a room!” Yuna frowns as she throws a pillow at the two. “Ruined the mood for all of us single people here—aka me and Changmin.”
You pout at her before saying, “I’m also single.”
“Okay, but you have your senior!” She rolls her eyes as she stands up from the couch. “You all suck, I’m going to dip.” Despite everyone’s attempts to keep her from leaving, she retreated to her room as if she was never there.
Hanhee yawns before she looks down at her phone. “It’s only 10:45 PM? God, I am getting old.” Byungho chuckles the moment she sits up straight. As soon as she stands up from the couch, she grabs onto her fiancé’s arm and pulls him up.
“You kids,” she points at you and Changmin. “Do not stay up too late.”
Byungho rolls his eyes before wrapping his arms around her once more. “Don’t tell them what to do—let them enjoy their break to the fullest.” Despite the frown that stays on Hanhee’s face, she melts into his embrace as he drags them out of the room.
And there remained you two—his hand still intertwined with yours as if you were the last thing he could latch onto. The silence that wraps around you two is deafening, but you are scared to even let out a croak. You spend all the minutes second-guessing what should be done only for your best friend to beat you to it.
“I’m sorry, by the way.” As soon as those words leave his mouth, you cannot help but frown at him. “It wasn’t my place to reveal whatever you have going on with Jacob.”
You cannot help but pout before shaking your head in reassurance. “It’s okay. I’m going to be honest, I didn’t know what to say so I’m glad you took over.”
“You want to talk about it?” Once your best friend asks you that question with a bitter smile, every part of you unwraps itself from its shell—defenseless as a cub during the winter time. You would have bottled it up like always, but the late hours of the day held power unlike no other. In these times, you let every sentiment be shared with him.
“I–I don’t know,” you whisper with your eyes staring into the picture frame that rested on the wall—a picture of Changmin who you can only assume to be around five years old as he stood in a park with his baby blue shirt and orange backpack. You move your intertwined hands to your lap. “I thought it would be unfair to still be confused about how I feel towards Jacob, but the first date solidified my previous thoughts.”
You take a brief glance at the boy who sits beside you only to see that his eyes still remain on you. With no reaction from him, you take this as an opportunity to continue. “Is it weird to want him to be my first boyfriend? Even if I don’t know what to feel towards him?” You let your eyes zero in on your best friend whose shoulders seemingly tensed.
A voice within you was begging for him to know the right words to say, but when he whispers “I–I don’t know,” you find yourself lost in the end. Your best friend did not have the answers to every question you could possibly hold, so why did it matter that he had nothing to offer you now?
“I mean, what happened?” He chokes out the question as he moves his hand away from yours to wrap around your shoulder. “Did the date not go well?”
You shake your head as you watch his free hand reach out for your hand once more. In the way he cradles you, you felt all the walls you built collapse. “It went so well—that’s why I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.” You look back up at your best friend. “I thought that the date would reaffirm my crush on him. But now, I’m kind of left with more things I don’t understand.”
It is not like you went into this world with everything made crystal clear to you. If anything, life always brought uncertainties. But at this exact moment, you only wish for what is certain—what could that possibly be?
“Hey,” he whispers before bringing your head close to his lips. As he brings your temple to his lips, you cannot help but feel your eyes close at the sensation—his lips on your skin as if it were the only thing that could bring you warmth during a snowstorm.
This should not be happening; you knew that this crossed the boundary of what you two drew during your years of friendship. And yet, you wish it could stay like this—you beg for the universe to let it remain this way.
But just as things should be, his lips leave your temple. The absence has you flutter your eyes open. As he draws circles with his thumb on the back of your hand, he says, “I–I get it, there’s a lot of things you don’t understand right now, but don’t pressure yourself into anything.” He takes a deep breath. “Feelings are weird, so just take your time.”
He repeats the first advice he shared with you the night before his competition. And you have no issue with him saying it again, and again, and again because a part of you needed to come to terms with something you kept avoiding—what were you avoiding?
You cannot help but let out a chuckle as your eyes shut close. What would it take for you to be sure of something? Why could you not find yourself jumping head-first with the boy you have fantasized about for years? All these questions and no one could answer but you and the universe.
With eyes still closed, you sigh, “These feelings are going to end up being the reason why I don’t end up getting into a relationship.” Your best friend cannot help but chuckle as he continues his ministrations. “I just,” your eyes open and look down to his hand that wraps around yours. “I look at Minhee and Byungho and your parents, and I beg that I am lucky to have that.”
“And you will have that—it just takes time,” your best friend whispers into your hair. “It took them time.”
You let out a chuckle, and you do not think of the next words that leave your mouth. “God, if we’re still single when we’re thirty, let’s just get married.”
As soon as Changmin stops drawing circles on the back of your hand, that is when you are hit with the reality of what your words meant. What do you mean by getting married at the age of thirty? Why would you even think of getting married to your best friend in the first place?
And you almost blurt out an excuse, until he lets out a chuckle. “When I’m thirty or when you’re thirty?” Warmth occupies every space in your body—it is as if the sun has taken over the snowstorm.
“Maybe when I’m thirty.” You giggle before taking a look at your best friend who seemed to always have his eyes on you. “I might be able to find someone before I turn that age, so I can’t just marry you when I’m twenty-eight.”
He hums before he lets his eyes drift down to your linked hands. “Says the person who doesn’t even know how to feel about their crush liking them back.” As soon as the words drift out of his mouth, you cannot help but gasp.
“Hey!” You exclaim as you use your free hand to smack his arm. While he erupts into laughter, you roll your eyes. “Can’t believe you’re using that against me right now.”
His arm is still wrapped around your shoulders while his free hand still holds yours. You let yourself melt into his embrace before letting out a sigh. Once your head found its spot in the space between his head and shoulder, his chin ever so slightly rests on top of yours.
Nothing needs to be said—the silence that settles is just as comforting as the usual ones you two share. The snow falls; crystals form on the window panes; the night has grown chiller than ever. But you are glad that in the cold, you will always find warmth.
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It is 2:26 PM when you and Changmin’s sisters come back home. The three of you decided to spend the day at the mall by yourselves, away from everyone else. In Yuna’s defense, she said that you three needed to have your own hangout without any interference. You had no complaints though—you love the sisters and their company (even more than you like spending time with Changmin).
You shook the snow off your hair as you three stepped into the warm Ji household. While you attempt to remove your shoes, Hanhee sniffles. “God, that was fun! It brings me back to old times.”
“I know, right?” Yuna sighs happily as she sets her shoes aside. She grabs everyone a pair of slippers and hands her sister her pair.
Before she can hand you one, she notices you still struggling to remove your shoes. “Come on,” she says as she reaches her hand out. “You can hand me the gift. I won’t do anything to ruin it.” You roll your eyes as you hand off the plastic bag.
A giggle leaves Hanhee’s mouth as you crouch down to undo the laces. “I’m just saying, I didn’t know you think about him that much—let alone at all.”
“I just thought he would like it,” you shyly admit as you finally get one shoe off. While you work on the other shoe, you say, “I knew he would get upset if I didn’t buy it for him.”
During your time at the mall, your mind was always on a singular thought—a person. In your time shopping with Hanhee and Yuna, you were always looking at items that a particular someone would like; chestnut keychains; small figurines from horror movies; plushies that resembled his pet poodle. You never realized it though, until the sisters had pointed it out for you.
“Since when did you like horror movies?” Your shoulders shoot up at the sudden question. You turn in panic to see Yuna frowning in confusion.
“H-huh? Oh, I don’t,” you say before pointing at the red-faced demon from Insidious. “I just know that Changmin likes the franchise, so I was figuring out whether or not to get it for him. But he doesn’t even collect to begin with.”
“Is that why you were also looking at the stuffed toy a while ago? The one that looks like our dog?” As she asks that question, you raise your eyebrows in shock. You did not know that they noticed you looking through the section that held a variety of animal plushies. Before you could ask, she squints her eyes in suspicion. “You know, I didn’t know you thought about my brother so much.”
“Huh? No, I don’t.” You reel back at her words. “I just know that he would be upset if I didn’t bring him back anything.”
Yuna hums as she continues to stare you down. “I mean, we’re bringing back hotteok for the whole family.”
Before she could say more, Hanhee comes in with a basket full of chocolates hanging off her arms. “Okay, I got what I needed! What about you guys?” Although you nod, there was a battle happening within you—you could not decide what to bring back home for your best friend.
“Just buy the plushie that looks like Gana,” Yuna suggests, which has you snapping out of your thoughts. “I’m sure Changmin would appreciate it since he always misses Gana whenever he leaves Cheongju.”
While Hanhee shoots a confused look at her sister, you let out a sigh before smiling. “Thank you.” While you were making your way back to where the plushies were, Yuna shared her observations with her older sister who could only gasp at the newfound information.
“Whatever you say, Y/N,” Hanhee hums as soon as you finally get your other shoe out. As soon as you set your shoes aside, you grab the slippers and plastic bag from Yuna with a small pout on your face.
You know that if you do not clear it up now, they will go on with their assumptions. With that, you let out a sigh. “It’s not like that,” you start. “I was just thinking that he would appreciate the gift. Also, he let me stay with you guys for the break.” A small smile takes over your face as you look down at the plastic bag.
Once you look back up at the two, you notice their smug expressions. “Whatever, let’s go in. The hotteok will get cold,” Yuna says before opening the door.
As soon as you three step in with slippers on your feet, you are greeted by Byungho whose hair is wet. “Oh, you three are back!” He gives Hanhee a peck on the lips which only has her smile.
“How was helping out appa in the garden?”
Byungho shrugs at Yuna as he wraps his arm around Hanhee’s waist. “Not bad.” But when Yuna raises her eyebrow in confusion, he finds himself fessing up. “Fine, it was hard. I didn’t know shoveling out snow took so much energy and time.”
Hanhee cannot help but shake her head. “Here,” she hands him the box of hotteok. “We thought of bringing back the family something.”
He smiles before unwrapping his arm around her. As he holds the box in his two hands, he says, “Eomma and appa are out to visit the neighbors, so I’ll make sure to save them some.”
“What about Changmin?”
The three look at you the moment you ask that question, only to see you fiddling with the plastic bag. “He’s napping,” Byungho says with a small smile.
You give him a nod before making your way to the living room. On the futon, you spot your best friend whose eyes were closed as he held his dog close to him. The two snore softly—almost as if they had nothing to worry about.
With a small smile on your face, you unzip your padded jacket and remove it before taking a seat on the wooden floor. Right where you sat, your face hovers over him. At this moment, you only realize now that Changmin has grown up since you first got to know him.
His features are the same yet different; his chestnut hair that is sprawled against the pillow is groomed better than his tacky haircut back in high school; the baby fat he used to have in his cheeks has almost vanished; his jaw is more defined than you first remember it to be.
But past all these changes, he is still the boy you worked with in your high school’s publication team; the one who manages to rile you up on the days you do not want your patience to be tested; the guy who has taken care of you after every party; the best friend who has permanently carved his place in your life.
As you continue to look at his sleeping figure while his sisters and Byungho continue to chatter away in the kitchen, you cannot help but feel your heart warm at the sight. The smile that shows on your lips is undeniable—anyone who could see you right now would misunderstand.
But the voice in the back of your head almost begs that everyone would misinterpret it all—god, what were you even thinking? How could you even think of such nonsense? And yet, you only push those questions further back in your mind. All you care about at that moment is him—not you.
When your hand reaches out to swoop away the hair that rests near his eyes, you notice how he frowns at the sudden sensation. You hold back a giggle and retract your hand. When you set the plastic bag down on the floor, it rustles. And before you know it, Gana’s eyes start to open.
The moment he sees you, he snarls and jumps out of your best friend’s grasp. The sudden action causes Changmin to slowly wake up from his nap. Upon hearing the barking, he quickly sits up only to see you in cahoots—your face is all scrunched up as you try to hold his dog back from chewing you up.
“Oh my god, Gana!” He exclaims as he quickly grabs his dog from your hands. Although his pet continues to snarl at you, he pets him in hopes that he will calm down.
“Gana hates me.” His eyes trail up only to see you shaking your head. “He’s so defensive when it comes to you.”
Your best friend cannot help but chuckle as he tries to distract his dog from your presence. With just a few more pats, Gana started to slowly calm down. “When did you guys get back?”
With how groggy he sounds, you cannot help but giggle. “Just a few minutes ago,” you start as you fold your padded jacket. “We have hotteok in the kitchen if you want.”
All he does is hum before kissing Gana’s head. “Go to Yuna noona, okay?” He talks in a baby-like voice and nuzzles his face once more into Gana’s head. Somehow, his pet poodle understood and ran off to the kitchen, leaving you two alone.
Your best friend’s eyes zero in on the plastic bag that settles on the floor. “What’s that?” With a small smile, you grab onto it.
“Well, when we were going shopping, I stumbled upon something that you might like,” you start as you twirl the bag around. “It was either this or some small figurine from Insidious.” Once you hand it to Changmin, he cannot help but frown in confusion.
As his hand reaches into the bag, his fingers graze against something soft. His frown gets deeper and you can only laugh. Once he pulls out the item, his eyes land on a brown stuffed toy—one that resembles Gana in almost every way possible. His mouth parts open as he spins the toy around to admire it.
“I know that whenever you leave Cheongju, you always find yourself missing Gana. So when I spotted this, I thought of buying it for you—just so that this can at least make up for his absence.” With his eyes still on the toy, you do not know if you should anymore. You take a deep breath before saying, “I also thought that it would be a good way to thank you. I mean, you let me crash your winter break.”
As soon as his eyes drift away from the plushie and then towards you, you let out a shy chuckle. “You know I just–”
And before you know it, he wraps his arms around your shoulders and brings you into that all-knowing warm embrace. You feel your breath hitch in your throat as he holds you close, but you remember that it is just him who has the privilege of holding you this close.
It is only a few seconds later that he realizes he has hugged you without you initiating it. Out of all people, he knew fully well that you were often uncomfortable during these situations. But before he can unwrap his arms around you, your arms wrap around his waist and hold him as close as you could.
The moment he feels you ease into the embrace makes him smile. “Thank you,” he whispers into your shoulder before nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. As you feel his slow and steady breath on the right side of your neck, you cannot help but close your eyes.
You and Changmin knew each other in every way possible—in every aspect you two willingly shared. Every left shoe had to come with a right one; rain is followed with sunshine; linked arms always came with bruised hearts—there is no other way to capture you two.
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It is 7:42 PM. Tomorrow, you and Changmin have to go back to your apartments since the second semester will commence three days from now. The time you spent in the Ji household is unlike no other—you hope you can visit again during the upcoming breaks. You did not want to say goodbye to it all; the home-cooked meals Changmin’s mom provided; the spicy tteokbokki Minho always prepared for you only; the town that you grew up in.
“I don’t want to go back tomorrow,” you whine as you stand in the kitchen while holding a cup of jujube tea that Hanhee prepared for you. “I just want to stay in Cheongju with you guys.”
The weather is still cold as ever; the crystals on the window panes have grown frustrating to look at; the snow that piles on the lawn is immovable; the idea of walking out of the house is unimaginable.
Yuna laughs while leaning on the kitchen counter before taking a sip of her tea. “You know we won’t be here either, right? You’ll be staying with our parents.”
“I don’t mind.”
The sisters shake their heads with smiles on their faces. “I’m sure our parents wouldn’t mind either, but you have to continue with your studies,” says Hanhee.
With a frown on your face, you retort, “Well, I could still drop out.”
She crosses her arms as she raises her eyebrows at you. “Okay, and you’ll do what?”
“Well,” you pause as you take a moment to think. You scrambled for ideas, only to blubber them out without a second thought.
“I could work with your dad with gardening stuff!”
Yuna scoffs, “You can’t even take care of plants.”
“Well, Minho would most definitely offer me a job at his restaurant.”
“Minho is not looking to hire someone,” Hanhee counters.
You scratch the back of your neck. “I’m sure someone will need me here.”
“And your parents will scold you for not continuing your education. Do you want that?” The moment Yuna asks you that has you pouting.
“I was just kidding,” you whisper before taking another sip of your tea.
The sister lets out a sigh before saying, “We know that. You know, just enjoy your college years! You’re only in your second year anyway.” While she shoots you a smile, you cannot help but frown. “I know, university is hard. I’ve gone through it all, but I would much prefer undergoing those years, again and again, rather than facing what adulthood has forced upon me.”
As soon as Yuna looks at her sister, Hanhee takes it as a sign to continue the thought. “Yeah, it’s not fun working an 8-5 hour desk job while having to worry about taxes or groceries.” When she thinks of more things to complain about, you notice the way she almost physically reels at the thought. “Jesus, I hate being a working adult. I realized I need to pay my statement to the bank every month and work ungodly hours to provide barely for me and Byungho.”
The moment your expression shifts from its frown to a terrified one, Yuna decides to cut her sister off. “Okay, let’s not scare Y/N too much,” she chuckles as she sets her cup on the counter. “Adulthood is scary, but you’ll get through it. Yeah, fuck having to pay bills or balancing chores all while working how many hours. But trust me, you will manage.”
Although Yuna attempts to ease your anxieties, you feel the floor swallow you whole. All the times you said you felt secure in your future—lies. It is always about deluding yourself into being okay with everything, but the reality is that you are dreading every second that passes.
“Oh my god, Y/N!” Hanhee snaps her fingers to get you out of your thoughts. When your eyes settle on her, you notice the small reassuring smile that rests on her lips. “I promise, you’ll be okay.” She walks to you and wraps her arm around you. “Most especially if you have someone to lean on throughout the journey.”
As she says those words, you frown. “What are you trying to insinuate?”
“Me?” She laughs as she drops her arm from your shoulders. “I’m not insinuating anything… unless you are?”
Everyone in the kitchen knew what her words entailed, and you did not want to acknowledge whatever they speculated about your feelings. You have full control over what you feel—you are not going to allow others’ opinions to influence you.
You roll your eyes before finishing the remnants of your tea. “Whatever,” you mutter as you wash the cup. “There’s nothing going on.” Once you set it aside to dry, you spin around to see the two raise their eyebrows at you.
“Whatever, we’ll leave you to your loverboy.” The moment Yuna says that makes you gasp, making your eyes face towards the living room where Changmin is busy playing with Gana.
“You can’t say that out loud!” You scold her as quietly as possible.
The sisters burst into giggles before taking their cups of tea in their hands. “We’re going to our rooms. You two have fun.” They do not attempt to listen to your protests as they make their way out of the kitchen. Now, you are left on your own while your friends think whatever they want to think.
As you let out a sigh, you allow your feet to take you to the living room. Upon entering, your eyes land on your best friend who sat in front of his dog while holding up the plushie you got him. His eyes hold every possible star in the universe as he plays with his one and only.
“Gana! Look at this, it’s you!” Changmin coos at his dog who only stares up at him in confusion. Although he shakes the toy at him, Gana stays stuck in place as he tilts his head.
Before you know it, you let out a chuckle at the sight. As your best friend turns his head towards you, he shoots you a grin—one that has been permanently stamped into your memories only for you to remember.
Once he diverts his attention from his pet, the dog cannot help but bark at him. He lets out a sigh before dropping the plushie and wrapping his arms around Gana. “You are so needy, you know that? Just like Y/N over there.” The moment he points at you makes you gasp.
“I am not needy.” Despite your attempt to defend yourself, your best friend only rolls his eyes.
“I’ve known you for five years. You are needy, even needier than Sunwoo,” he says, which only has you frowning. As he sees your expression shift, he cannot help but laugh. “C’mon, sit with me.”
When he says those words, the poodle in his arms starts to growl. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you say as you look back at the dog who has his eyes on you.
Despite Gana’s behavior, Changmin shakes his head before saying, “Trust me, just sit down.” With his pleading eyes staring right at you, you felt helpless to his requests. Even if a dog were to bite your hand off, you wanted to follow his requests. And somehow, you found yourself taking a seat on the floor right beside him.
Gana starts to bark which only makes you put some distance between you and Changmin. However, as your best friend starts to stroke the dog’s fur, you notice the way Gana starts to calm down.
“What we’re going to do today is get Gana used to you.” As the words leave his mouth, you look at him with wide eyes. Upon seeing your reaction, he cannot help but chuckle. “It is possible. You see the bag of treats on the coffee table?” You turn your head to spot what he was talking about. “Just get some—he’s usually weak to treats.”
You shoot him an unsure look, almost betting every poker chip that this would not go well. But when he shows you his reassuring smile, you feel all resolve crumble just like that. As your hand reaches out into the bag, you grab a small handful of dog treats.
“Okay, keep your hand closed first,” he says as soon as you bring your hand out. “Place it near Gana’s snout and he’ll smell the treats.” You follow his instructions, allowing the defensive dog to place his nose near your hand.
As soon as Gana gets a whiff of the dog treats, he continues to smell your hand. “Okay, you can open it now.” And as you follow his instructions, the poodle starts to eat the treats out of your hand. You cannot hide the shocked expression on your face. “See, he’ll start warming up to you.” Your eyes snap back up at Changmin who was smiling at his dog getting along with his best friend.
Since you first arrived at the Ji household, Gana has always remained hostile against you. And just after following your best friend’s instructions, the poodle was slowly getting used to you. You knew that Gana’s assertive nature only came from a place of wanting to protect his owner—who would not want to protect a boy like him?
This continued for a few more rounds until Changmin felt like that was enough treats for Gana to trust you. “Okay, let him sniff your hand once more.” As you follow his orders, his dog sniffs your skin. “Now, you can pet him.”
“Are you sure?” You ask as your eyes snap back up to him.
When you are only met with a nod, your eyes fall back on Gana who continues to sniff you. Once your hand raises from its position, you notice how his eyes follow it. The moment you find your hand stroking on the fur that rested on his back is almost as magical for everyone—the way Gana finds himself enjoying your touch is something you do not expect.
“Oh my god, he’s back to liking me again,” you whisper which has your best friend giggling.
Nothing needed to be said at that moment—the silence that falls on you three is comfortable. Your eyes always found themselves flickering between your best friend and his dog who only seemed to care about each other’s comfort. You do not miss the way Changmin smiles over how Gana closes his eyes at the sensation.
Seeing him like this—all soft and playful with someone he adores—tugs on your heartstrings. In your years of knowing him, you always knew of his soft spot for his dog. But something about this particular moment made it different. As your eyes zero in on the guy who sits next to you, you start to see every memory play out.
The first time you see him in your high school’s club room is almost an experience you will never forget. With the ways your hands clammed up at the sight of the intimidating boy, you can remember every thought running through your mind—the most memorable one being “resign from the newspaper team.” Can you believe it took you two being forced to work together that started your friendship?
You do not forget about all the times he came to you with a grin plastered on his face while he held the latest broadsheet that held your bylines together. With every article published, he never fails to mention how proud he is of you.
And with every dance competition you watch, you always see Changmin and Sunwoo achieve even higher than what their dreams set them up for. For every medal and trophy won, you never forget to tell the two how happy you are to have them as your best friends.
When Changmin’s graduation came, you will never forget the tears that streamed down yours and Sunwoo’s faces. Even on his special day, his two best friends could not help but be crybabies. You do not forget about the way he wiped the tears away with a smile that only provided you more comfort than words ever could.
On the day you and Sunwoo graduated, you can never forget how you two leaped at the sight of Changmin back in Cheongju. His arms wrapped around you two as if you were the last things on earth he could hold onto. That day only ended on a high note—one that you can hope to chase.
And when you first entered university and got accepted into the publication team, you will never forget how his expression shifted into genuine joy. The words he told you on that day are some you will never forget: “Every day, you are destined for greatness.”
With every lunch, you never forget how you find your heart leaping at the sight of him waiting outside of your classroom. In the same way you wait for him after class, you notice how his expression shifts from exhaustion to happiness. He never forgets to link arms with you every time you make your way to the picnic table you two consider your hideout.
The moment you share about your crush on the unattainable senior in your staff only had him laughing. And yet, he still indulged in your love-drunk rambles (even if nothing happened between you two). He never rained on your love train for all he seemed to care about is that you tell him everything.
When you bring Chanhee into your friend group, you do not forget how he connected with your two childhood best friends in an instant. The addition of Chanhee into your group of three made sense—you would not be the people you are today if someone were to be removed.
And at every party, Changmin always took care of you in your intoxicated state. Every time you needed to puke your guts out or desperately needed to drink water, he was always there to keep you company—to hold back your hair or bring you enough water that would help in sobering you up.
With every sentimental talk you two share, you never fail to see his attentive eyes on you—the way he holds onto your hand whenever you find yourself being vulnerable with him has become an ingrained action of his. And with every time you like to downplay every issue you face, he is always there to remind you of what you seemingly deserve.
Everywhere he goes, he brings warmth—one that you never feel from anyone else. Just from his existence, you always find yourself thanking the universe for bringing him to you. Because even if he loved to make fun of you in every way possible, you knew that it all came from a place of care—a place of love.
And just like that, you feel the crushing weight on your heart lifted. The moment of clarity finally pushed you to open your arms to what you had been tiptoeing around.
Oh.
Oh.
It is not as scary as you made it out to be. “I think I like you.” You do not realize the words you whisper under your breath without any second thought. It is soft just like how water slowly trickles down a faucet. But even the droplet sounds are ones you never want to hear on a quiet night.
You clear your throat loudly in hopes that it would cover up what you slipped out. “God, are you okay?” Your best friend asks as soon as your hand retreats from petting Gana.
With you shaking your head, you say, “Yeah! I think it’s just the cold weather getting to me.” You push yourself off the floor so that you can stand up. “I think I’ll just stay in my room and pack up for tomorrow.” Although his eyebrows furrow at your odd behavior, you do not allow him to say anything as you quickly make your way out of the living room.
On your way back to the room, you could only mentally scold yourself for coming to such a revelation—for even whispering such words without any second thought. You can only hope that your words were not heard by him. And while you found yourself panicking over the moment that occurred only minutes ago, your best friend was having an internal debate on whether he heard you say the words he has been dreaming of.
if you liked this, please take some time to like and reblog this and part one!
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bunnys-babies · 3 years ago
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Talk to You
Megumi Fushiguro x gn!reader
wc: 1.7k
warning(s): Megumi is awkward LMAO and Itadori just.. can’t read social cues ANDKAKKDLAD (also not edited - just wanted to post to get back into the swing of things Yfm :))
a/n: hello! It feels good to be back and posting :3 anyways, he has been ONNNN the mind recently, and he’s just so fun to write for, for me!! I hope you guys like ahhhhh!!
pt. 2
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Megumi hates you.
The audacity you have to work at the strip mall he frequents with his friends, and at their favorite place to eat of all places, too. Oh, and you make a point to smile at him and wish him a warm welcome back every single time he leaves with his dish, all teeth and crinkled closed eyes?
How dare you. He should get you fired.
All of this is exactly why he makes sure to sit precisely 5 tables back from your counter and 2 to the left, dragging out the chair that faces your store that just so happens to be to the left of where Yuuji is seated on the other side, the view of you cashiering right next to his head.
If he didn’t do this how was he supposed to know if some jackass made you upset or uncomfortable. Not that he cared that much, but if you can even give him that signature smile then someone must really be an asshole to only get a less than excited ‘have a nice day’ as they recede to their own table.
It’s not that he cared if someone made you upset, he just… had to know. Yeah. There were absolutely no underlying reasons as to why he liked watching you bustle around your workplace and then proceed to be hit with pangs of jealousy when you laughed at something some idiot said. None at all.
Yuuji’s obnoxious smacking of his lips stole the attention of his stare back onto his friends face.
“Y’know”, he licked his fingers and wiped the corners of his mouth, “I’m sure if you actually said hi to them instead of stare like you wanted them dead it’d actually go really well! You’re a cute guy, and they definitely always look at you when they say, ‘see ya guys next time!’”, his voice lilts up to a comically flirty pitch as he attempts to copy you, “‘M just sayin’. I feel like as your wingman I need to start pushing you out of your comfort zone lil’ guy.”
“Shut the hell up and eat your chicken fingers.” Megumi pouts dramatically and rolls his eyes at the mumbled “chicken tenders” that came from Yuuji, only for them to land back on you.
“Besides, you’d probably be a pretty shit wingman.” Megumi looks back at his friend with a pointedly exasperated look on his face; which really means it’s taking everything in him to not laugh at the comically appalled expression Yuuji’s dawning.
His eyes are nearly bugging out of his skull with his jaw dropped to the floor, greasy fingers coming up to his mouth as he gasps, “I’m a lovely wingman. Would you like me to prove it?” He begins to scoot his chair back against the cold tile as it screeches harshly and stand up.
“No.”
Effectively sending Megumi into cardiac arrest, he sits back down.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re only saying no cause you know whatever I’d do it’d work. I mean, it’s gotta be more effective than coming here all the time to almost never order anything for yourself and then just spend the rest of the time staring all day like some creep while you pretend to listen to me.”
Acting like he wasn’t just completely called out, Megumi responds dryly, “You think I can pretend to listen to you when you’re that loud?”
He waves him off as waits for Yuuji to continue whatever story he was telling earlier, waiting the appropriate amount of time for his eyes to wander back to you.
It would’ve been embarrassing if Yuuji heard the way he sighed dreamily to himself as he finally found you behind the counter again, cheeks bunching up as you smiled at another customer.
You’re so pretty, disgustingly adorable even in your little geeky work visor. He can’t help the butterflies that run rampant in his stomach when you fiddle with your hands and wave in his direction as the prior customer walks away with their bag in their grasp, and a half smile begins to delicately spread across your face. How angelic.
Wait.
Oh god. You just waved and smiled at him. And he was blatantly staring. And you looked at him. You saw him staring holy shit how is he supposed to ever come back here he needs to leave now-
“Jesus, I’m not nearly full enough.” Yuuji interrupts himself with an obnoxiously loud burp, “Let’s get seconds, on me?”
Before he can properly respond, and being too stunned to shout an urgent no, Yuuji’s already making his way over to you with a beaming smile and spirited arms wiggling around his body. He starts to talk, no shout, at you about how delicious the food was.
Should he run? He should run. He should get up and just ditch Yuuji here on his own, surely he’d figure it out.
“The chef deserves the sloppiest kiss imaginable for that, can I get another plate please?”
Oh god. Megumi can hear him from all the way over here. He can’t make out your response though. Only a positive sounding jumble of incoherent words and a soft smile he catches from the corner of his eye. He’s doing his best to keep his staring less, blatant.
“Oh yeah, he’s kinda just like that! Do you get uncomfortable with how often he stares though? Personally, I’d be flattered. He’s so cute, right?”
No way he just said that.
Yep, running it is.
The butterflies from earlier have turned into the worst nausea imaginable, he needs to leave now.
He stands up and keeps his stare focused in the direction of the way too distant restroom.
“Megumi! Get over here!” Yuuji’s shouting even louder now, waving in an over the top manner that comes with his default factory setting.
He’s been stopped dead in his tracks.
The way Megumi see’s it, he has two choices:
One, he ignores Yuuji completely and hides in the bathroom until he is sure that the chicken tenders are safe and sound in his best friends stomach. He risks practically nothing and keeps his pride.
Two, he listens and comes over to be roped into whatever Yuuji has planned, probably risking it all and keeping nothing but his idiot best friend.
Apparently, in the midst of his inner debate, he chose option two. Because before he knows it, he’s standing in front of you as he battles the blush that’s burning his ears.
“They think you’re cute! Hurry up and give them your phone number before they can change their mind. I’d do it for you but I still don’t have it memorized.”
Good. God. He’s wingman-ing.
Megumi’s sure he looks stupid, standing stiff as a board with an expressionless gaze while he tries to process what the hell he just heard.
Wait, do you really think he’s cute?
“Bro, hurry up. They have customers and you’re making this weird.”
He’s making it weird? Before he can snap back, a pen and slip of receipt paper is shoved into his hand.
Taking a deep breath and collecting himself, all while still being sure to not even glance in your vicinity, he approaches the counter to write his number down onto the paper with shaky hands. However, his hands must’ve been sweaty, too, because before he can even jot down the first digit the pen somehow slips out of his hand and rolls behind the counter. And instead of trying to catch it, he watches it leisurely roll off the back end.
“Jeez, that’s embarrassing.” Yuuji thinks he’s quiet, he is not.
A polo clad torso is in front of Megumi now, but he finds himself unable to look up, knowing what’s to follow if he does; you.
“Oh, here ya go.” You laugh softly and stretch out your hand holding the pen to him.
Hearing your voice gave enough intrigue for him to begin gathering his confidence, he’s never been this close to you before. He looks up at you through his eyelashes from where he’s leaned over the counter.
The look alone is enough to make your heart stop, and seeing you is enough to stop his.
His usually sharp and stern eyes are peering up at you with a certain softness, rounded and almost doe like, it’s enough to kill a person.
But it’s when he stands up straight and wide all while holding that eye contact, gently placing the paper into your open palm, that you feel like you might just pass out. You’ve always thought he was attractive, obviously, but this is the closest you’ve really been to him. And god he looked good, and he smelled good.
Was that creepy? Should you not think something like that?
Before you can ponder on that thought much longer, he’s walking away.
Clutching onto your imaginary pearls, you attempt to collect yourself and return to work. But your phone gives a quiet vibration in your back pocket and brushes away all resolve you had as you rush to the back - which you’re assuming is his fault by the way he’s feverishly typing away on his phone as the louder friend of the pair harshly smacks him on the back with a wide smile.
You couldn’t whip your phone out of your back pocket fast enough to see what he said, hoping to god it was actually him and you weren’t getting yourself excited over nothing.
‘if you don’t think I’m a creep, wanna make out sometime?’
‘My friend wrote that please ignore that.’
‘I would like to hang out. But I wouldn’t say something so bold like that.’
‘Not saying I wouldn’t kiss you you’re very pretty.’
You smile down at your phone and send a simple yes, talk more when I’m off? back, hoping it’s the perfect amount of interest without making it glaringly obvious you’ve been daydreaming about this moment for weeks.
Thanks Yuuji, you’re quite a wingman.
——————
taglist: @d1lfluvr @plutowrites @carmillous @mossygreys (if you’d like to be added jus lemme know!)
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chippedaxe · 3 years ago
Note
stepbro george smut 🤤 if u could do hard dom george with fem reader?
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˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚
Title: 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝓅𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝑔𝑒𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒
Warnings: NSFW! (Minors DNI), coarse language, sub reader, hard dom, stepcest, degrading, teasing, masturbation, slapping, voyeurism, (unedited)
Pronouns: she/her AFAB
Synopsis: You and George are left alone at home which causes you to become bored and restless, you then bother George with your boredom.
Word count: 1.6k
Note: I'll try to write this the best I can, I don't rlly know how to write hard dom george but I'll try! Thank you for the request <3
* Let me know if there are any warnings or any other things to change !!
Welcome 🧝🏽‍♀️ anon btw!
*My emojis updates since I took that photo so now the emoji looks different
˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚
Your eyes shifted to stare at your stepbrother George, you then quickly glanced away when he looked over at you. You heard him scoff a bit before he walked away, the heat rose to your cheeks and made you blush. You were sitting on the couch watching the TV and zoning out but stopped when you heard your parents at the door "We're leaving to stay at your aunts for the weekend! George is in charge of the house!" you had barely caught on to what they were saying as they had just suddenly left.
"George?" you called out to him just as your parents had left "yeah, what?" he came down the stairs "Why're our parents leaving?" you asked "didn't you listen to them? They're staying over with our aunt" George rolled his eyes at you "No yeah- I got that, but why?" you turned around on the couch so you two were now face to face "They left because you were annoying them too much" George snickered "Hey! That's mean- Why're they really leaving??" you got up from the couch.
George shrugged and started walking off "Don't be an asshole!" you crossed your arms and pouted "An asshole? Me? Never! I'm one of the kindest guys you'll ever meet, and I know you won't meet many but that's not the point" he teased you "HEY! What's that supposed to mean?" you followed him up the stairs "What? I'm just saying the truth!" George slipped into his bedroom and tried to get away from you, you groaned as he shut the door on you and went into your own room.
'George is an idiot, he keeps teasing me' you thought to yourself as you laid down on the bed, you tossed around in your sheets as you were becoming restless and bored. "I'm so BORED" you groaned out in boredom, your hands pulling at your face in agony "ughhhhh" you made random noises to try and satisfy your boredom "Hey- do you mind not being annoying?" George opened your door "I'm so bored though!" you exclaimed "Yeah well go and do something then, stop bothering me about it!" George went to slam your door but you stopped him "Why don't you hang out with me or something??" you suggested.
"Because you're just my dumb little sister" George walked off "C'mon! We can play a game or something!" you were desperately trying to satisfy your boredom "Why don't you just go on your phone like a normal person?" George left you alone once again. You slumped down onto the floor and held your head in your hands "Why's he always gotta be so difficult?" you huffed in annoyance, you take your phone out and decide to bother George over the internet.
You called him a bunch of times until he picked up "WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT??" he screamed into the phone "I'm bored! Why don't you just hang out with meeeee?" you asked "because then you'll just complain the whole time!" George hung up but you repeatedly kept calling him "I'm literally so close to blocking you!" George sighed "We could play one of your video games??" you smiled as you thought he might finally agree to do something with you "I am not gonna let you touch my shit, just go touch yourself or something, I don't fucking know" he hung up again.
You blushed at his suggestion 'Touch myself? I can't believe he suggested that! He's a gross pervert!' you thought to yourself but your hand was ironically already subtly making its way down between your legs. His suggestion couldn't hurt and it was an easy way to pass sometime and cure your boredom, you had to be quiet though, George's room was literally right next to yours and you'd be embarrassed to hell if he heard you.
You pulled down your pants so they were hanging around your thighs and then you proceeded to rub yourself down there, you moaned quietly but then had to quickly shut yourself up. You leaned over on the bed and positioned yourself so your face was buried in the blankets and your fingers were rubbing at your sore clit, you were huffing and puffing into the sheets.
Your fingers slipped inside and you let out a small gasp, you moved your other hand to cover your mouth. Your eyes closed as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to releasing, your orgasm already approaching hastily, you didn't know that anyone was there watching you until you heard a clear coughing noise "Having fun?" you blushed all over. You slowly moved your hands and looked up at George "h-hey.." you gulped nervously, you stupid girl- why didn't you lock the door?!
"That looked fun, why'd you stop?" He crossed his arms over and looked down at you "B- Because you're watching me.." you whispered "If you didn't want my attention then you should've been more quiet. Fucking yourself right next to my bedroom? Naughty girl" George smirked "I- I-.." You tried to speak up but he didn't let you "Keep going" He ordered you. You meekly listened and started to touch yourself again "There's no use in hiding your voice, our parents are gone and I'm already here" George told you.
You let out a choked moan, you glanced away from George as his eyes were on you "Didn't know my sister was such a whore.. Getting off because I told you to, aren't you?" George teased, you nodded shyly "I knew it. Are you thinking about me while you do it?" He leaned in closer to breath hot hair onto your ear. You shiver from his warm breath "m- maybe.." you answer him "maybe isn't good enough, doll" George crawls on top of you and pins you to the bed.
You pull your hand away from your crotch and you try to back up a bit "Are you tryna run away? Just let me know now if you want me to leave" George gave you a way to back out but you rejected it "Fine with me, c'mere.." He leaned in and kissed your lips. You kissed him back gently, you were still half stunned that your stepbrother was here doing this to you. You pulled away quickly "G-George! You're my stepbrother!" you exclaimed "Yeah, you just realize that now?" George laughed and pulled you back in again.
"Come on, don't use me like this, you don't even like me!" you pushed him away "Who says I don't like you? I might tease you and you might annoy me but that's just regular sibling things, right?" George had a point "Is that all you think of me? Your sister?" he shakes his head "During the day I do, but at night-" He didn't finish his sentence as he captured your lips in another kiss.
You closed your eyes and kissed him back, your hands running through his hair as you two kiss. George pulled away for a bit of air and then started to roughly kiss at your neck "fuck.." you gasped "D- don't leave any marks!" you warned him "And if I do? Just put some makeup on" George bit down on your neck "ah!" you moaned from his little actions.
"Did you stretch yourself earlier?" George started to unbuckle his belt, you nodded and opened your legs to show your aching hole "You're such a slutty sister.." George bit his lip as he zipped down his pants and positioned himself at your entrance, he slowly slid in and you let out a loud groan "ahhhhh fuckkkkk.." you threw your head back.
He grunted as he started to thrust inside of you, his cock felt huge inside of you, the tip of his dick was hitting every part inside of you and it felt amazing! You held onto his arms and dug your nails into his shoulders "S-shit!" you swallowed down another moan "Damn, you gonna cum already?" George teased you. He started to buck his hips even faster, his free hand was bruising your hip while the other one was clamped around your neck and holding your head up to look at him.
"Cum for me, cum for your fucking stepbrother" he slapped you across the face which left a tingle on your skin. You came just after he had slapped you, your pussy clenched around him and he groaned loudly "oh fuck-" he didn't mean to but he ended up cumming inside of you after you had an orgasm. You laid down on the bed and tried to catch your breath, George sighed and left the room to grab a washcloth.
He started to clean your insides, his hand sliding inside of you just to clean the cum out "Ow!" you winced "Sorry Y/n.." he whispered "What're you being so nice to me now for?" you asked "I'm your brother, I can still be nice and an annoying dickhead" he smiled up at you. "What'd you slap me for by the way? Now my cheek hurts.." you whined "to knock some sense into you" George joked around "asshole."
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seravphs · 3 years ago
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ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — TATTOO ARTIST! SUNA X FEM READER
Tagging along while your best friend Kyotani got a new tattoo was supposed to result in him buying you boba, not freshly pierced ears, but you can’t complain when your piercer is so damn cute. 
wc — 2.2k
tags — needles, piercings, tattoos, etc.,
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“I don’t know,” you say, nervously clutching Kyoutani’s arm as he steers you towards the shop. 
“Don’t be a baby,” he snaps, rolling his eyes, but just the fact that he’s letting you cling onto him betrays him. “You’re not even getting anything done, I’m the one getting a tattoo.” 
He greets the shop owners with familiarity as he walks in, not surprisingly. You heard Oikawa recommended it to him - maybe this was where he had gotten his own tattoos done. 
“Huh?” You realize one of the two men already in the parlor is talking to you. His vivid green eyes shine with amusement as he repeats his question. 
“You here for a tattoo, too?” Even from a quick glance, you know you don’t look like the type. 
“No, just moral support.” 
He shrugs and beckons you in, pulling up a chair for himself and resting his chin against the back support. His name tag reads Suna, unconsciously, you feel your lips mouthing the words, tracing the syllables of his name. 
“Yeah?” He says, and you realize you’ve said it out loud. He grins at you. “Cute.” 
The other man in the shop, wearing a white mask, glares at Suna. “Stop flirting on the job,” he says. 
“I’m the boss,” Suna says. “I can do whatever I want.” 
“Keep flirting with her and look forward to loosing a few teeth,” Kyoutani grumbles. His hand reaches out to you, checking if you’re okay. You squeeze back to let him know you’re comfortable. Suna’s not intimidating at all. You had a feeling that the minute you gave off any sign of being uncomfortable, he’d just fuck off and go talk to Sakusa. 
“You really don’t want anything?” Suna asks. “It’s going to be boring just sitting and watching him. Kyoutani doesn’t even show pain, so he’s even less fun.” 
Kyoutani flips him off. 
“I could give you a tour of the studio,” Suna says. “Or we could just hang out here. Are you sure you don’t want a piercing?” 
“I’m really sensitive to pain,” you sigh. “I wish I could.” 
“That’s a shame. You’d look pretty with pierced ears.” It’s pathetic how easily you fold, especially since you’re suspicious that Suna’s just complimenting you to drive up sales, but you can’t help it. Kyoutani was always telling you to be more spontaneous. 
Sakusa doesn’t look up from the little black sketchbook of designs in his hand as he says, “Suna’s a terrible person, but he’s got the hands of an angel. They’re wasted on him, but if you want something painless, he’s your man.” 
“Okay,” you say, not giving yourself time to reconsider. You have wanted piercings since you were young but was always too afraid to do it. Besides, everyone needs to take some chances every now and then, right? You seat yourself on the black leather recliner. “I’ll do it.” 
“That’s for your friend,” Sakusa says, not even looking up from the tools he’s preparing. Seeing the ink pots and needles sends a chill through your body. “Those are for tattoos. Suna will take you to the piercing section.” 
Your face feels warm with embarrassment.  “Cute,” Suna snickers. Already, you’re regretting your decision to go through with this. 
Kyoutani, lying back on the leather, grabs your wrist and pulls you down so he can examine your face. “What did you do to her, you freak?” 
“You think we drugged the air or something?” Suna rolls his eyes. 
“No, I just want to!” You push at Kyoutani’s shoulder. He’s always been overprotective, the older brother you never had, but sometimes it was too much. “Oikawa bought me a pair of earrings for my birthday and I can’t wear them so I might as well while I’m here.” 
“It’s going to hurt,” Kyoutani warns. 
“I’m not a child!” 
“He’s going to shove a needle in your-“ 
“Ahhhhh! I can’t hear you!” You clap your hands over your ears. Sakusa looks torn between amusement and annoyance behind you. It’s hard to tell with the mask on. 
Kyoutani groans and lets you go. “It’s your choice, dumbass, but I’m going to say I told you so if you end up crying.” 
The tattoo section is on the opposite side of the piercing area, and you end up following Suna to a room in the back. 
“Hop up on that chair for me.” 
You do as he says while he washes his hands in the sink and pulls on gloves. 
“So,” Suna hums, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrates. “You and Kyoutani. Dating?” 
You jerk forward in surprise and he flicks you lightly on the forehead with his thumb and index finger. “Ah-ah, bad,” he says so lightly you know he doesn’t mean it. “I told you to stay still. I don’t want to hurt you by accident.” 
You hold every muscle agonizingly still as he swabs your ears with rubbing alcohol. 
“No, just close friends. He’s like my older brother.” 
“Oh, so that’s why he snaps at every man in your immediate vicinity?” He teases. 
“He’s really nice once you get to know him!” You say earnestly, defensively. You’re just as protective of Kyoutani as he is of you. 
“I know,” Suna says. “We’re in the same gym club with Oikawa, that’s how he found our shop. He talks about you a lot, you know.” 
Your lips pull back from your teeth in a cringe. Kyoutani can share some pretty embarrassing stories about you sometimes. 
“All good things,” Suna reassures you. “About how you yelled at him for stealing your French fries today but gave him half anyways, or how you cried over a stray dog in the park, or-“
“Oh my god, Suna,” you slap his arm then pause at your own audacity, not sure when you had gotten so familiar and comfortable with him. He just had that effect on you. He finishes preparing and wheels a little tray over to you. 
“You sure you want to do this? I know Sakusa was talking me up out there and you probably want to prove something, but it’s really fine if you don’t want to. No pressure. We can hide out back here and I’ll sneak you out the back when Kyoutani comes to check.” 
You laugh, glad that he’s the one doing your first piercing. He feels trustworthy, comfortable. And he makes you feel less scared. “No, I want to. Thank you, though.” 
“Alright, you ready?” 
Very conspicuously, you try not to look at the silver glinting between his fingers. His voice drops an octave, almost a coo as he places his fingers on your jaw so he can move your head. 
“It’s okay. If it hurts, just tell me or tap my arm and we can stop.” 
You flinch at the first bite of the metal, but relax as his fingers, gently wipe away the blood and push the first earring in. “You’re doing better than I thought you would,” he says. 
You have to fight the urge to melt against his hand cupping your cheek. 
“Good, now next one. You feeling okay?” 
You nod, not trusting yourself to speak against the prickle of tears. It’ll pass, you repeat to yourself, really, it doesn’t even hurt that bad. It really doesn’t, after a while, the sting calms down. Sakusa wasn’t exaggerating - Suna’s hands are magic. 
“Good girl,” he grins down at you. “Just one more and you’re done, okay?” 
His fingers cradle your face and you close your eyes in preparation. Instead of metal, you feel his fingers pinch your earlobe. Your eyes fly open in shock, as does your mouth. “Suna!” 
“Relax for me. There’s no need to be nervous, I’m not going to hurt you. Do you need a minute?” 
“It’s okay,” you say after considering. “But can you keep distracting me?” 
He goes through his repertoire of anecdotes from past clients: the man who insisted on the butchered tattoo for dragon that really translated to furball, the woman who asked him to cover up her ex with her new man and ended up showing him an entire sleeve of names. In the end, you’re relaxed and pliant in his hands as he presses the needle to your ear. You barely feel the sting this time, too busy trying to keep yourself still and laugh at the same time. 
He pats your cheek almost offhandedly as he surveys his work, like a silent admission of his approval for how well you handled your first piercing. You have to fight to remind yourself that it probably doesn’t mean anything. He reaches for the stud you picked out. 
“I like the way you say my name,” he says casually, as he fits the earring to your new piercing. 
“That’s enough!” Kyoutani, apparently still half finished with his tattoo is standing in the doorway, Sakusa’s exasperated figure still waiting at his chair. His hands are thrown up in a expression of I tried. 
“I can hear everything out there, you know!” He turns to you. “Listen, I can deal with anyone but Suna. He’s weird, okay? Go date Iwaizumi or something, not this guy!” 
Suna looks amused. “Relax, I’m not going to steal her away from you. Go finish your tattoo,” he says as Sakusa, apparently at the end of his patience, gets up to retrieve his client. 
“He’s very protective of you,” Suna remarks. “Well, I can’t be mad. I would be, too.” 
He gives you another minute to calm down, not that you need it, while he puts everything away. “How is it?” 
In the mirror, two metal studs in your ear glint in the light every time you turn your head. You think of Oikawa’s (expensive) earrings in their velvet case at home, and feel near giddy with excitement. You really did it! And it didn’t even hurt - at least, not much. 
“Thank you!” You throw your arms around Suna. He stiffens in shock, then brings his arms up around you, too. 
“No problem. Man, I’m going to be so disappointed if you’re this friendly with every piercer you’re going to have.” 
Without giving you a moment to respond, he ducks out the doorframe and heads back to the large room that Kyoutani and Sakusa are in. Kyoutani whistles when he catches sight of your new piercings, hair pinned up with a clip you found in your bag to better show them off. 
“Told you,” Suna says. “She didn’t even cry.” 
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It takes less than a one hour meeting for a tattoo artist to turn your entire life upside down. 
“Just go visit him again,” Oikawa says, on FaceTime with you. He’s at the gym, headphones in as he runs mile after mile. You’re at home watching Netflix. 
“I don’t have an excuse to,” you whine, burying your head in your hands. 
“Why do you need an excuse?” Oikawa scoffs. You’ve never wanted to punch someone so badly. You know Kyoutani is working out at the same time, in the same gym, and wonder if he would do it if you offered to buy him lunch. 
“Just go for it!” As annoyed as you are with his carefree attitude, something about Oikawa’s words stick in your head. You do want to see Suna again. 
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A week later you’re standing in the doorway of his shop once again, awkward and sheepish. The metal rolling shutters are half up, his hand still on the switch, when he notices you, eyes widening. His lips curve into a smirk as he takes you in, and it’s the look that had you weak at the knees for him. You walk to the entrance and wait for him. 
“Sorry,” he drawls out as he opens the door, one hand resting on the top of the door frame. He towers over you. “Shop’s closed.” 
With mortification, you check the times posted in the window - he’s right, of course he is, he’s the owner. In your nervousness, you misremembered the exact hour and came thirty minutes too early. Already, you’re turning to leave, stuttering out apologies as you back away. 
“Don’t go,” he says, his voice still scratchy and hoarse with sleep. He’s wearing sweatpants and a white tee that hangs loosely off his shoulders, pajamas. You wonder if he lives here, above the shop. 
When he tugs at the neckline, you catch a glimpse of his sharp collarbones. He beckons you into the shop as he talks, closing the door behind you. “I can always make exceptions - especially for pretty girls. What are you here for? Another piercing? First one didn’t scare you off?” 
A small thrill goes through you at the approving glance he gives you, the idea that you might have won respect from him in whatever small measure. He gives you another unsubtle once over, his dark eyes promising something you can’t describe. 
“I don’t know,” you mumble. As always, you feel more vulnerable under his gaze. “I was kind of hoping you could help me decide.” 
“Oh?” Your earlier question was answered as he reappears from upstairs, carrying two mugs of water and two plates of breakfast. Your mouth waters - not at the food, you already ate - but at the idea of sharing with him. 
“Well then.” It’s not just his eyes. You feel so small under him as he crosses the room to the chair you’re balancing on, looms over you, shadow cast across your face. He tilts your chin up, moves it from side to side like a doll, examining your previous piercings, and you let him. You’ll let him do anything he wants. 
“I’ll see what I can do for you.” 
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tommyspeakycap · 3 years ago
Note
Hi love, I adore your writing so much! And as you just asked for some ideas/concepts here’s mine for Jack Grealish from prompts list 2: fluff #11 where he’s asking her (she’s his best friend) to go for a walk cause there’s so much going on in his life and he just needs to talk. fluff #36, angst #31 and a happy ending please? Basically a Best friends to lovers thing as I’m a sap for that…thank you!! xx
Fluff #11; “I know it’s 2 in the morning but do you want to…”
Fluff #36; “because I fell for you, isn’t it obvious?”
hope I did this justice for you!
Fell for you
“Jesus god,” you grumbled with hands aimlessly palming across the mattress for the blaring sound of your phone from its place charging somewhere on the bed. Your next move is an elongated “Ahhhhh,” sound, fatigue still holding tightly onto your body in a way that seals your eyes shut even as you try to shut off the sound your phone was deafening your with. In a wakened state, you might’ve noticed that it was your ringtone that had interrupted your sleep. However as tired as you were you ruled it as your alarm right away and moved yourself into seated position with the duvet still wrapped tight around you and your eyes still shut.
You were suspended in that space between being asleep and being awake, still sitting up when the offensive sound came screaming through your phone once again.
This time, your eyes snapped open in fright and the fatigue-blurred letters of Jack Grealish’s name popped up across the top of your screen.
“How is it morning already?” You protest down the line, a heavy sigh passing your lips to follow. Jack’s chuckle can be heard through the line, “It’s not.” He replies simply, prompting you to pull your phone away from your ear to hold out in front if your face.
02:17am
“Then why on earth am I up?” You mumble, a question more posed to yourself than the man on the other end. “Wait, why are you up? And why are you calling so early?”
“I’m outside your door.”
“You’re what?!” You throw back your duvet and swing your legs over the side of the bed. You’ve hung up the phone already by the time you reach the front door at a tired shuffle. His hair is tousled when you see him, like he’s been running his hands through it over and over, you imagine that he has. He does that when he’s stressed. You have to squint against the street lights and his car headlights outside, still on as it sits running on the street. “Can we go somewhere?” He asks, his voice as desperate as his eyes look when he speaks, begging you to agree. Not that he would need to beg. You’d do anything for that man. Even if it did mean dragging yourself from your bed at 2 in the morning.
“Course.”
No question, no pressure. He loves that from you. He knows you’ll ask him later and when the time is right you’ll force him to tell you of course. Now is not that time yet and you’re nowhere near awake enough to do so much anyway. “Let me just grab my-“
“I have a hoodie in the car and your shoes in my boot.” He cuts in, tugging your arm gently out the door of your house. He knows you better than any other person in this world, so he knows full and well that there’s not much you are going to do in the way of protesting when you’re so soon out of sleep. He’d often teased with layers of worry deeper beneath that he genuinely worried for you living on your own. You open the door to people far too easily, and he will not fail to bring that up sometime tomorrow. For now, he steps into your doorway where you had stood moments before, grabs your keys from the cabinet and pulls the door closed behind him with a click of the latch locking behind him.
The cold paving stones beneath your feet make you shine in protest, shifting your weight between each one to ease the chill. In was in that cold that you look down and make the realisation, or rather come to remember the fact that you don’t have any pyjama bottoms on. “Jack!” You yelp, “I’m not wearing trousers!” You suddenly feel very exposed and rightly so, standing outside your home suddenly very awake in only a long claret and blue shirt that only extended down to the middle of your thighs. “Eh?” He whips around, “You what?”
It’s only now he really takes you in with rosy cheeks from embarrassment, your hair messed up from your sleep. His frantic eyes soften and his heart stops thundering in his chest finally. The sight of you there calms him. You’re there. Right there. His (y/n) is right there in front of him.
“What’s the rush, Jack? Is everything okay?”
Your gentle words and tired eyes bring him back to the ground, the flurry of his racing thoughts only now finally calmed. He often acts on impulse, but you are always able to slow his brain down a few paces. His sits heavily, "I know it's two am but...do you think we could go somewhere. My heads fuckin'... I don't even know." He dips back down to run that hand through his hair once again. His words stoke a bit of a worry in you, head tilted to the side in question. Jack doesn't tend to be the kind who gets himself panicked and all wound up like he has right now. That's more your half of the friendship. You did the worrying, he did the easygoing.
"It's okay, Jack. Of course. Come on then, let's go." You nod your head and he goes around the back of the car to get the shoes and socks he promised you. You very nearly choked up a lung when he presented you with a brand new Balenciaga box. "What the fuck, Jack?" You all but wheeze out, head whipping towards him climbing into the passenger seat.
"Got you a present 'cause I'm leaving soon." He shrugs with a jaw-dropping ease. You list open the lid and inside sit a pair of sliders that cost nearly £400. You physically gawp. "Oh my god."
"What?" Jack asks, drawing out of his parking spot on the street, "Heard you telling your mum you needed new sliders for the summer, do you not like 'em?"
His nerves would be clear in his voice if you hadn't been in such a ferocious level of shock. You're glad you weren't eating anything because it surely would have choked you to death. Of course you had seen Jack wearing brands like Balenciaga, Gucci, Versace and the likes, but you had never owned such an expensive piece of clothing. "I mean of course I love them, J but I meant from Primark or bloody amazon, you shouldn't have spent al that money on me." You protested, but Jack really pays it no mind. In fact, the suggestion that you don't deserve everything luxurious that this world has to offer offends him more than it does anything else. You should know that you deserve everything good that this world can give and he has the means to actually give that to you. He'd count himself an absolute fool not to.
"Gonna pretend you didn't say that." He mutters, eyes kept carefully on the empty road ahead of his car. Your eyebrows are furrowed, a part of you brain still very much trying to a) wake up and b) process the expensive of the gift he handed to you so casually. "Not arguing about it either." His voice cuts you off the second you open your mouth to speak, shutting down your protest before it even leaves you.
As the fatigue of your sleep wears off, your mind continues to be just as boggled as it had been the moment his name popped up on your screen at 2am, if not more boggled now.
"You're acting so weird, Jack. What the hell is going on with you today?" Your insistence is careful with your pressure. It's enough to try to open him up but not enough to make it sound like a confrontation. Neither you nor Jack like confrontation especially with each other. The words make him chew on his lip as he careens the large white range rover through a turn that leads up a gravel road that crunches beneath his tires. The stops when he's met with a with a large gate that prevents cars but a little slot for people to walk through. Jack leaves his door open when he leaves the car with a curtly mumbled "Stay here" as he does. He pushes open the gate with ease before he gets back in the car and follows the path up the hill further.
He stop abruptly in a very small gravel car park without any parking lines to abide and steps out, slamming his door behind him like he absolutely always does; you swear that man couldn't be quiet if his life depended on it. Which was another reason why you were so surprised by his silence. You clamber out after him with that same fear of falling flat on your face that always fills your mind each and every time you leave his car. But Jack is where he has been every time you step out the Range Rover since the first day he got it; standing by your door to hold your hand so you can jump out without a trip onto the gravel beneath. He shuts the door behind you and hands you a spare pair of his loose fitting track pants.
On an average day you might've teased the reason he hasn't worn them was because they wouldn't have squeezed the life out his legs. Today wasn't one of those days, so you slip them on without a word. Followed up by his way too big for you socks and the brand new black slides. Even wide awake, this confuses you to no end. Jack was never quiet and never elusive. He was boisterous, loud, open and confident.
The second you turn around, you realise why he brought you here.
The view of the stars, the sky completely clear. There wasn't a street lamp in sight. The moon provided the kind of spotlight hue that you kind of thought only existed in the enhancement of Hollywood movies. "Woah," you breathe, words stolen by its beauty.
"Yeah," Jack laughs, "Now you know how I feel every time I look at you."
You head turns to him so fast it sends your head spinning a little, or maybe that's just the shock of his words. You couldn't tell.
"What?"
He shrugs his shoulders, scuffing his feet along the gravel to meet up with where you stand. But he freezes before he gets the chance.
"Why are you wearing that?" He asks, a very sudden cold change in his tone that actually makes your body feel colder. "Wearing what? This?" You gesture to the claret and blue shirt you had thrown on in a haste to get to him standing at your front door a short while ago. You turn to see his unhappy scowl and the firm discontented cross of his strong arms. "Yeah that," he grumbles, "And where'd you even get it." He adds with a flare of his nostrils. He looks adorable angry like this, like he's trying so hard to look angry when his emotions lie truly elsewhere.
You look down at the shirt with furrowed brows, before you shift your shoulder forward, crane your neck and pull the material around to view the back as best you could. "What's wrong with it?" You ask finally, attempts to defy the natural state of your body failing to allow you to see your back.
"It's Ginny's." Jack states as if its the most obvious thing in the world. You just look at him bewildered. "And?"
He huffs as he takes a few more heavy steps up to you, looking like he had a lot of things to say without any way of being able to get them to coordinate from his brain to his lips. "Why do you have Ginny's shirt though?"
You breathe a little bit of laughter at him, shaking your head softly. "it was just a joke. I saw him after a match waiting for you so I jumped out at him and pretended to be a fan for a video and he signed it and gave to me as a joke. I just threw it on when you showed up at my door in the middle of the night. Wasn't exactly a fashion statement."
Jack still grunts in dissatisfaction at your answer, refusing to meet your eyes. "You have plenty of mine to wear though, don't need his." His argues in a disgruntled grumble. You raise and drop your arms down by your side with a sigh. He was really testing your patience now. "Hm, last time I checked you couldn't give me yours anymore because your ex didn't like it." You protest with a wag of your finger, making him turn his head downwards with something like a shudder running through him at the mention of her name. "Yeah well there's a reason she's my ex innit." He mutters under his breath.
"What the hell is the problem with you today Jack?" You exclaim, his eyes jolting to you in surprise. You don't often snap.
"First you show up at my door in the middle of the night and drag me out of my house and then you won't actually speak to me and now you're picking a fight about John M fucking Ginn?" You snap, the anger and confusion he had stirred up showing in your emphatic hand gestures that only come out when you're telling him a passionate story or going off your head at him. "He's your best mate, why would that even bother you?!"
"I'm sorry, I-"
"I'm not done, Jack!" You yell, holding out a hand. "You haven't even spoken to me all week. I found out you made the England call up on fucking twitter Jack, twitter! And your mum told me about you dumping your girl and I can't even get through to you and now you're buying me gifts and bringing me here? I don't know if I'm coming or going here Jack, you have to give me something. We're meant to be friends." You voice breaks on the last syllable and a lump forms in Jack's throat that he can't just swallow away. Any pain, any hurt and any slight sadness of emotion that appears in you shatters his heart. He thought that was a normal reaction until two weeks ago when he realised it only happens to him when its your upset he witnesses.
"I'm sorry." He says, his voice thick and wavering with the same level of emotion. "I really, really am." He stands right in front of you now, so close you're basically chest to chest, faces merely inches apart.
"And I'm scared." He admits, sending a pang through your already aching heart. "Scared because I'm leaving and I can't take you with me." His words tickle your lips as they leave his, clouds of air puffing above the two of you as his hot breath meets the cold night air. "You've done it before, J. It'll be fine." You soothe, hands gently raising to reach up and brush the hair out of his face. His let's forth a content sigh of relief at the feeling of your touch. "That was before though." He confesses with a slight shrug. He watches that furrow sow itself back into your brows.
"Before what?"
"Dance with me?" He suggests, his arms finding their way around you with ease, much less fumbley than you remember from your high school prom. Your head tilts in that adorable confused way that makes a grin form on his cold lips.
"Why?" You query, eyes slightly narrowed in suspicion. He laughs softly. "Because the music is slow and the sky is gorgeous and because I love you."
Before you get the chance to recognise, process or even understand what he said, he's swaying you around the gravel under the stars.
"Because you what?" You squeak, your eyes desperately searching his as you look for any reason this might be some kind of a joke or one of pranks that makes you want to throttle him. He just smiles at you with those crinkled eyes and the love shining right there in his eyes for you to see. Your stomach flutters like the teenager you were when you fell in love with him. His lips dip down to capture yours in the best kiss that your being has ever felt, his hands ringing your hair, stroking down over your cheeks with those warm hands of his.
"Because I've fell for you, isn't it obvious?"
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hiddlesbummmm · 3 years ago
Text
Huge thank you to the sweet Anon who requested this fic! I had so much fun writing it 💗💗
Prompt for reference here
A few people requested I write a Marvel fic in the middle of all these amazing requested Supernatural fics!
How can I say no?💖 Be on the lookout for that fic here soon! 👀 (Hint: It’s on my in the works section titled “ Let’s do get help!” )
Then I promise to continue on with the supernatural prompts!
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Warnings: SFW Tickle fic, some sexual tension, slight gore, brief language
Words: 2356 Ler Dean X Lee Reader
Stuck
You were stuck. Embarrassingly so. Not the “I’m kinda stuck but I can wiggle my way out of this” type, but the “I’m 100% screwed without help from the Winchester brothers” type of stuck.
You could hear the brotherly duo cackling and laughing at your current predicament, even though you couldn’t quite see them from your position. Your breath had been knocked out of you, so your vision was blurred with some tears as you gasped for air.
Sensing your lungs were finally filled with precious oxygen again, you blinked the remaining tears from your eyes to get a better look at your situation.
Your back was slammed up against a tree trunk with your arms suspended in the air by a rope. With your eyes, you followed the rope to see it was hidden in a tall pine tree across the disheveled pathway. Sam and Dean were standing a few feet in front of you, laughing and pointing at your demise. You rolled your eyes.
“A little help would be nice you assholes” you growled with a tug on your ropes.
“Dude. You should have seen your face! You were all like AhHHHH!” Dean mimed a screaming face while still holding his belly from all the laughing.
“I’m so sorry Y/n. But that was freaking hilarious! We told you to watch out for tripwires! Too bad you didn’t listen to us!” Sam said while wiping tears from his eyes.
Both brothers had mirthful smiles plastered on their faces. As pissed and embarrassed as you were, you couldn’t help but laugh along with them as you replayed the situation in your head.
***
It had been another annoying hunting trip. More bodies were found in some random town in the US, and it was your job to kill the monster responsible. This time, the three of you were in search of a Ghoul who had been raiding an older cemetery on the outskirts of town. Typically, you didn’t care much about Ghouls since they only ate dead people, but of course, this ghoul decided to go rogue (if you could even call it that) and had attacked a few people visiting loved ones in the cemetery.
Most recently, you had been taking a break from hunting. A few months back you had been injured pretty bad and needed to take some time to better your mental and physical health. Sam and Dean had been much more protective of you since then and had been leaving you at the hotel or with Bobby on the really dangerous trips. You never minded and enjoyed the breaks you were given.
This time though, you were needed. Ghouls were fairly simple to take down. They never hunted in groups, and they just needed to be either cornered or trapped and then beheaded. The main reason you were needed on this trip was because of your small stature.
You stood on a good day just over 5 feet tall. You had always been picked on due to your small size, but it made hunting easier for you. You could dive, jump, and move more stealthy than the Winchester brothers. It was easier for you to hide behind things too. But the main reason why you were needed today was to sneak through the Ghoul’s tunnel system.
Ghouls were notorious for digging tunnels and using them to enter grave sights. It kept them out of sight and out of harm's way. Unfortunately for you, you were the only one small enough to crawl through the tunnels and find the main air pocket den where the ghoul lived. As dangerous as it was, you put on your tightest articles of clothing to help keep the dirt out, sheathed your knife, and prepared to go digging.
The walk to the cemetery was peaceful. You had decided to go in the early evening so you still had some sunlight, but also when not many people would be around. Sam came up with the idea to place some booby traps around the forest just in case the Ghoul took off running. Ghouls were pretty lazy, so it was safe to assume it would run down the nice pathway instead of taking off through the overgrown brush.
Dean and you continued walking to the gravesite while Sam set up the traps. He ensured you both he would make them hidden, but not hidden enough that the three of you couldn’t tell where they were. (That liar!)
Standing on the treeline, you and Dean scoped the empty graveyard looking for any civilians. Not a soul was in sight. Dean clicked his tongue and motioned to a fresh pile of dirt about 60 yards away. You nodded and slowly walked over to the pile.
The dirt was still cold to the touch even though it was still easily 70 degrees outside.
You slowly pulled out your knife and crouched down to the hole.
Right when you were about to crawl in, Dean abruptly pulled your shirt collar and rolled you behind the nearest headstone. You quickly composed yourself and peaked around the stone to see what Dean had seen.
More dirt was flying through the air. The ghoul must have been making its way back right when you were about to go in.
You and Dean waited silently for the creature to pop out. When it finally did, Dean jumped out from behind his headstone.
“Stay right there you Son of a Bitch”.
The ghoul had shifted into an adorable old man. If you hadn’t seen it climb out of the dirt with a bloodstain on its shirt, you probably would have helped walk the man to his car unknowingly.
The ghoul froze at the sound of Dean's voice. Sam jumped from his hiding spot and sliced its head off in one quick slice.
The three of you buried the body and went on your merry way.
“Nice slice Sammy! Have you been practicing on watermelons or something?” Dean teased on his way back to the car.
“No Dean. I’m not 7 anymore. I’m strong now! Stronger than you!”
Dean rolled his eyes but kept walking. You all knew it was true.
“I’m just glad I didn’t have to crawl through that tunnel. It smelled absolutely disgust-AHHHHH”
Your sentence was cut off by you being forcefully pulled from your feet and slammed into a nearby tree trunk.
***
You continued laughing at yourself from the recent memory. You had been so busy blabbering that you didn’t even see the tripwire placed across the trail!
Sam and Dean finally stopped laughing and looked at your red, sweaty face.
“At least it worked. I was worried that if the ghoul managed to escape, the tripwire wouldn’t work. Thanks for being my test subject Y/n”.
“Yeah yeah. Shut up and get me down already! My hands are getting tired!” You whined.
Dean threw his keys at Sam.
“Go get the car started, I’ll cut her down.” Sam nodded and looked at you one more time. He tried to stop it, but he broke down into laughing again the moment he made eye contact.
“Oh Shut up Sam! I’ll get you back one of these days!”
Sam quickly composed himself and headed back to the car.
“Okay, sometime today would be nice Dean!” You sassed. Dean was just standing there with the knife in his hand unmoving.
Dean chuckled. “I know I know. You just look so adorable when you're flustered”
You felt your cheeks turn red again. You two had been great friends for such a long time, but recently the two of you had become more flirtatious with each other. It became a game. Each one was too nervous or scared to make the next move, so instead, you hid your feelings with playful banter and sarcasm.
Dean leaned forward to boop your nose.
“I should make you beg to be let down. You seem like the type of person who likes to be tied up”
Dean smirked evilly when he noticed your face flush again. He enjoyed teasing you so much that he didn’t notice you swiping your feet against his ankles.
His face quickly shifted from mischievousness to panic as his feet were knocked out below him and he fell forward onto his hands and knees as he tried to catch himself.
“Oh sorry, Dean-o. It's almost as if you were begging me to do that. You seem like the type who always kneels before his women” you snapped back with a grin.
Dean hurriedly leaped to his feet and brushed the dirt off his pants.
“You better play nice now! I’m the one in charge of letting you go!”
Proving his point, Dean jabbed your side. What he wasn’t expecting was for you to shift and squeak.
Your eyes widened. This could not be happening. Not here. Not now.
“Come on Dean! Let’s go! I’m hungry!” You said as you stared at Dean.
“Now what’s the hurry sweetheart? You haven’t been hiding something from me have you?”
Dean smirked and poked your side again. You squeaked again and tried to kick Dean.
Having none of that, Dean retaliated by rapidly squeezing both of your sides which elicited a rapid scramble of giggles as you yanked hard on your arms.
“Oookay okay. Yes, Dean, I’m ticklish. Please let me down now. This is soooo not fair!”
You pleaded with Dean and even stuck out your lower lip giving him your best puppy dog look.
“Oh alright. I’ll let you down.”
You sighed in relief.
“Only if you beg me to do it”. Dean said with a huge grin on his face.
There was no way in hell you were gonna do that. Besides, you hadn’t been tickled for a long time, so how bad could it be?
“Bite me”
Dean flicked his eyes up at you in surprise. He placed his hands back on your sides.
“Don’t say I never warned you.”
It tickled way worse than you could have imagined. Having your arms pulled above your head gave you no way to defend yourself. Your shirt had ridden up a little so Dean had full access to your soft exposed skin.
Dean lightly spidered your sides and waited for a reaction. You closed your eyes and held your breath hoping he would get bored and let you down.
Instead of being put down, Dean tutted at you and sped up his fingers. He was now rapidly poking your sides and belly while you were now spewing giggles and shaking your head.
“There’s that laughter! Now come on, beg me to stop!”
You shook your head again.
“Neheveheher Dean!!” You managed to say.
Without missing a beat, Dean started to pinch his way up to your ribs.
You pulled on the rope best you could and your laughter also picked up a notch. Dean noticed immediately.
“Ooh, ticklish ribs? I think I’ll stay right here until I get what I want.”
Dean snaked his fingers around your ribs, separating them to each cover their own respective rib. The moment he flexed his hands, you screamed.
Your ribs were by far your worst spot. You were now belting out deep belly laughter as you tried to squirm away from his evil fingers. Dean did not let up though. Through the newfound tears welling up in your eyes, you saw the gleam in his eyes bragging about his accomplishments.
He was tearing you apart. With tickles!
Possibly having some pity, Dean stopped his tickling for a moment.
“Last chance Y/n. I wanna hear you begging or there will be more of that coming your way.”
You could tell Dean was really enjoying himself by the tone of his voice. You wouldn’t dare say it out loud, but you were also having lots of fun. You enjoyed the playful side of Dean and decided you always needed to laugh more.
“Do-do your worst, Dean” you stammered out with a wink.
And that he did.
Dean’s small amount of mercy dissipated as he went right back to attacking your ribs. He found a spot right under your highest rib that caused you to shriek and wiggle even harder than before. With an evil grin, he vigorously scratched that spot on both sides until he noticed you were snorting. He slowed his fingers and lightly ran them across your abdomen, keeping you giddy but able to speak and think.
You made eye contact with him and he tilted his head motioning for you to say the words he wanted.
“Please please Dehehean. I’m be-begging you. Let me down, please.”
Dean chuckled and quickly cut your rope.
You dropped like a bag of rocks into his arms, still giggling like a mad man.
“You-you are such a jerhehek Dean. You are lucky I like you.”
Dean picked you up and carried you bridal style down the pathway. You were both quiet for a few moments until Dean broke the silence.
“You know, you actually never begged me to stop. You only asked me to let you down.”
You halted your breathing for a moment while you thought about a reply. Dean cut you off.
“No matter. I’ll keep this our secret. God knows we have plenty.”
You rested your head on Dean’s shoulder and whispered,
“I love you Dean. Thanks for making me laugh”.
Dean chuckled in response. “I love you too sweetheart”
You soon were blinded by the bright headlights coming from the impala as the two of you excited the forest. Sam hopped out of the passenger side door with a worried expression.
“Y/n are you okay! What took you so long? I was beginning to worry.”
Dean placed your back on the ground. “We’re fine Sam! I thought I left my knife in the graveyard so we strolled back looking for it. No monsters got us!”
Sam huffed out a sigh and climbed back into the car.
You turned to face Dean. With a smile still etched on both of your faces, you said
“Try that ever again Dean, and you won’t be the only tickle monster lurking in the woods”.
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scholarhect · 2 years ago
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ok post show thoughts:
waterparks were really good i could not believe that was their first ever arena show. they were great. also i now have a video of an unreleased song of theirs which is :-) cool
saw one girlofswords shirt (i’m not a boy but my girlfriend is), one sweatermuppet shirt (maybe if you pray to god he will forgive you for being cisgender). lots of cute outfits & cute references to various things, obviously i can’t list them all. but i did see a “pool boy at the vampire mansion” shirt, along with their friend who had a matching shirt that said “mystery shirt”. love it, love the hustle, keep up the good work. also there was a couple where one of them had a shirt with just the man from the revenge cover, & the other one had a matching shirt with the woman. which i adored
arrived, got in the very long line, was told “this is just the merch line if you want to go inside you can just go in”, thought “oh that’s ok we want to hit the merch line asap anyway”, stayed in line. turns out it was a mini merch stand with like half the stock. we found this out when we were like 3 people from the front of the line. when it was our turn we couldn’t even get the tour shirt in a large or medium. so then we went inside and went to a big merch stand and stood another 45 minutes and honestly thank god the timings of the show were wonky & it didn’t start until 8 because we were in our seats maybe 5 minutes before. but we fucking did it
also by the time we got to the front of the real merch line they were out of mystery shirts. i hope u all enjoy them. made life easier for me too bc i was really considering it but i was already spending like $110 on merch without it (boy zone shirt, tour shirt, tote bag. absolutely necessary purchases)
i could see the stage but it was dark it was kind of hard to pick everything out. i can almost see better in my videos
i took a 4 minute long video of the static before the show, which i ended up regretting when i ran out of storage during vampires lol
i wanted to sing along to foundations but nobody around me was singing and i was shy… and then they played i’m not ok & everybody in the place was singing and i wasn’t shy about it anymore (bc even if they weren’t singing to one song they probably would be if they liked it more and it’s not my fault!! i like all of them!)
i fucking shrieked, by like halfway through my vocal range was . not good. it kept cracking 😭
also tried to stand up a couple times but the people behind me were sitting and it was just uncomfortable and i didn’t want to block them. mezzanine moment
i didn’t know the drum said manhunt until i got on twitter after the show. i tried to figure it out but i couldn’t get a good look, i thought it said AHHHHH
i missed like half of whatever gerard was saying it was so hard to hear from back there 😭😭 i DID hear about his legs being slippery though. love that for him
also at first i was like “damn no fun gerard outfit today… that’s fine 😔” & then i realized they were sopping wet. love wins <3
also i think the mic kept cutting out lmao i would like see him singing and didn’t hear anything
when i was omw to the show i heard on twitter that the roof was leaking. don’t know if that’s true. i do know that lined-up crowd took some Ls today sorry gang
i don’t really get why you’d line up for a concert, if you show up 5 minutes after doors there’s no line at all. ALTHOUGH i did spend about an hour and a half total in merch lines today so maybe i’m the idiot here. but like what else are you doing before the show anyway. but then i guess it’s different if you’re pit
so many songs had their little intros and people would scream when the song finally started but i already knew it was coming because i had seen it online before. like destroya w the “i am not god. you are not god” or whatever, & flw with you are my sunshine. or helena with the AHs. kind of embarrassing (stan behavior 😔) but i’m having fun so it’s fine
ok i have nothing else to say also my head hurts also i have to get up kind of early tomorrow. gg
holy shit this is so long i’m so sorry
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ps: if anybody’s got any clips of anything cool that happened on stage feel free to send them my way, i didn’t see shit. i saw gerard on his knees sometimes but that was it. love you goodnight
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