#alfred pennyworth headcanons

[confused-wanderer]

Alfred runs a front.

You know those posts where people accidentally stumble upon fronts for money laundering operations? And how the people just roll with it and go “fuck yeah this is a pizza store, what can we get you?” and then proceed to deliver the best pizza you’ve ever had?

That, but with the batcave. Logically, it’s impossible to get near it. There’s no way anyone strategic or analytic can trace back the batfam to find an entrance to it. But somehow this group of college kids stumble upon it on accident after getting horribly lost on their way for a 3 am snack run. They’re all sleep-deprived and so used to Gotham’s eccentricities that they honestly don’t even get alarmed when Google maps tells them to drive through a wall, even less so when it fucking WORKS.

The butler had been bored for the last couple of days, and since everyone was off on missions, the silence was adding to Alfred’s anxiety about his children. So when he sees these group of confused kids yelling into the darkness if this was bar, he says “screw it”. In the blink of an eye, there’s a decoy close to but not quite near the batcave, where Alfred turns the room into a cosy little hangout spot.

It becomes a phenomenon only for the true Gotham locals. And Gotham is protective of its own. Alfred doesn’t have to worry about telling anyone to keep it a secret, it’s now become a sort of initiation/tradition for new Gothamites when the locals think they’ve earned it. Some days Alfred keeps it well hidden when he doesn’t want to entertain, others he allows it to be found, fills up his bartending stall and waits for the chaos. People pour in, and it’s a nice cozy place just to be. Alfred’s a mean bartender, he whips up drinks like never before. Also gives advice like never before.

Some days it’s a bar, and you go there with your closest friends and as long as you clean up after yourselves and aren’t being disruptive, nobody cares. Others the menu includes tea, and it’s the time for bringing games to play with loved ones. Everyone is friendly and plays nice, because Alfred will not hesitate to pull out a shotgun for anyone who things otherwise.

People sometimes spot the bats or the justice league hovering around the location and figure it’s an exclusive occasion, and honestly a billionaire having a private bar for superheroes is not that weird at all so people roll with it.

Alfred exchanges information with others, builds his channel of gossip. He hears about the newer, local threats that emerge. The political and economic issues grieving Gotham’s citizens, and makes a mental note to tell the others. He hears Tim and Stephanie were munching on burgers last night, he guesses all their praise about his waffles were merely lies. But he also knows how Cheryl from the retirement home plays a mean BINGO, and can’t lose even if she tried. Speaking of which, he needs to hold another tournament soon not because Alfred was petty or competitive.. he was merely.. competent.

Nobody from the batfam knows about this. It’s Alfred’s favorite past time, and no one from the batfam is allowed within TWENTY feet of it.

The man’s a proper Englishman. Let him have his tea.

[violent138]

Alfred's daily crossword habit is completely ruined by his brood of children because none of them ever refrain from giving him answers over his shoulder, completely unashamed. Bruce is the worst, he'll take the pen right out of Alfred's hands to fill in an answer.

[stargirlfics]

sweet as silk, just like lavender

Alfred Pennyworth can’t keep his hands off you even if he tried

1.3k words - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: semi-public sexual acts, exhibitionism

from this ask prompt: alfred being obsessed with having his fingers inside you at all times

He always had you so eager for these moments, even if you were shy to admit it, Alfred could always tell by the way you melted into the flex and curl of his fingers buried between shaking legs, that you loved this just as much as he did.

Muffled moans and the hushed curses that leave your parted mouth are just encouragement, the loveliest kind of reward for a man so enraptured by the way his fingers filled you this perfectly. 

It’s like you were made for him and must be why he can’t ever get enough. 

Always left aching with need at the thought of watching you unravel before him, sweet and sticky folds parting for a thick middle finger because he was far from undisciplined in taking the time to stretch you out, he liked to be thorough with you.  

And judging by the way you were already grinding your hips into the pump of his forearm, the slick mess from your pussy leaking around his knuckles, Alfred thought maybe he could fit in a third after all. 

“Please! Feels so good, oh god…” You’re pleading, unable to keep your body from chasing after his touch, desperate for more but also painfully aware of where you were. 

You were supposed to be keeping quiet, had promised you’d behave and not draw attention to the creaking wood of the reading bench tucked in this quiet section of Wayne Manor’s library.

It was just impossible to do so when he leaned in like he was doing now to hush your cries with his free hand.

“Oh fuck…look at you. So gorgeous when you do that.” He groans when your tongue suctions to the two fingers keeping your mouth occupied, pleased by the frantic little whimpers he could still hear in your throat. 

It makes him throb when he glances down to watch where your pretty, greedy cunt is taking what he was giving, gripping him so tight he doesn’t think he can stop. 

He’d never want to either, not when you look up at him with glossy eyes that begged for the release so close to crashing down over you now. 

You were addictive in every sense. 

The first time Alfred remembers doing this together in precarious places it was his office at work, the memory making him smile. 

It was his fault for getting you so worked up throughout the day, he could say that, but then there was one too many heavy looks exchanged, your enticing voice in his ear asking him to touch you and suddenly he was doing exactly that, nevermind locking the door properly. 

He had you on your hands and knees that time, right there on the sofa across from his desk, being only slightly firm with his tone when he scolded you for driving him crazy but really he wasted little time before his silver beard was tickling your thighs as he tasted you and teased your clit at the same time. 

“You’re all I think about, you know that darling?”

Rumpled waistcoat’s and ties be damned when you were bared for him, the urge to devour and savor, to give and push you was too compelling. He knew right then and there that you could reach back and grab his hair and he wouldn’t mind if you tousled it.

How could he when he’d finally slid a finger inside and watched your lashes flutter, the quiver of your shoulders, that lovely little gasp and all the moans that followed. 

No, he didn’t mind one bit, it was perfect, he even had to retrieve your underwear from between the cushions afterwards. 

You’re a bit less concerned about getting caught than he is but he thinks that’s part of why he loves getting you off like this, the thrill is exciting.

It makes his heart swell and his cock harden that you trust and desire him so much to let him keep you teetering on the edge for however long he wanted to keep you there and then hearing you beg like that, he wanted to earn every praise and cry for more. 

You always listened so well too, determined to be rewarded with a ride on his fingers, reminiscent of that time in his car where he’d made such a mess of you. 

The windows were just beginning to fog when he pulled away from a heated kiss to reach over the console, curious hands roaming underneath clothes. 

Until he was touching the soft velvet that was you, moving back in for another embrace with a growl on his lips that you swallowed without hesitation. 

“What am I gonna do with you, hmm? Feels like you’re about to come all over my hand and I’ve barely started.” 

You answered with a whine then, needing to grab his shoulder to steady yourself the tighter the tension inside you swirled until he was withdrawing his touch to taste your very essence off his fingers, uninterested in keeping you waiting any longer. 

Even in the awkward confines of a car he could curl his fingers just right, nudging against that sweet, spongey spot that made you melt into pieces, the pleasure climbing with each slow and measured push of his wrist. 

Alfred could be so gentle but intense, nearly overwhelming you with bliss and leaving you happy and hazy for hours after and nothing short of that was acceptable for him. 

He’d spend hours like that if he could. 

It’s why he’s got your legs pushed back almost to your chest in this private corner of the library now, your t-shirt bunched around your waist and presently what he was using as leverage to rock you back into his thrusts. 

“Think you’re ready, love?” 

“Yes, fuck yes please. I want it…want you so bad, Alfred.” 

The way you say his name cracks something open in him and he’s fitting a third finger next to the two already filling you to the brim. 

Pulsing and warm, the added stretch has you covering your mouth to stifle the noise threatening to rip loose from your chest but the ache of pleasure just seemed to grow spreading from your center to the tips of your pointed toes. 

“That’s it, there you are such a sweet little thing. Mmm, I’m proud of you, darling.” Alfred coos against the inside of your knee.

He can’t help but swell with pride, his eyes trying to commit the sight of you to memory. 

Dew beading up on your pretty, bronze skin and the taut tremble of your muscles as he picks up pace just a little, striving to make your head fall back against the stained glass window above you. 

In his mind you deserve to be immortalized in the glass too, the vision that you are. 

His forearm braces when you jolt into his touch, fingers pushing a little deeper and keeping that relentless pressure against your walls while his thumb rubbed soothingly over your clit, again and again. 

“Ohh thank you, I’m-shit I think I’m-“ You’re trying to warn him, caught off guard by the sudden grip around your hips with his other hand, effectively keeping you in place. 

He doesn’t have to say a word, knows you’ll be dripping down his palm any second now as your head tips back and exposes your neck, pulse beating wildly.

You let yourself float away, leaning into everything you were feeling and letting go like he would want you to do, your lips meeting his again in a fiery heat, a passion so white hot you want to scream from how it makes your nerves tingle. 

But Alfred is right there to hold you together as you fall apart and he’s all you see when the pleasure begins to ebb and the warm comedown washes over you. Just like always. 

It’s delicious and delectably filthy and neither of you wanted it any other way. 

Forever thinking about being in compromising positions with that old man! This was fun to write and I hope you enjoyed! Also listened to DRIP by EVAN GIIA while writing this/brainstorming for this, the title comes from the lyrics and now I’m gonna go look at pics of Andy Serkis hands, do not disturb lmao

Thank you for reading 🫶🏾

<3 dividers by @/saradika-graphics <3

[fanfic-the-wish-your-heart-makes]

Part 3 of Gotham Characters React to You Getting Easily Scared by a Movie 👻☠😈😨🎃:

Jerome Valeska, Butch Gilzean & Alfred Pennyworth <-last part (part 2) Part 1

Jerome Valeska might make things worse for you at first. He thinks the movie is interesting but could use a few more jump scares.

The current scene isn't even that bad, you think, but still, maybe you should— "Boo!" "Aah!" "Sorry, sweetheart. Thought this movie was a little too boring." "Boring?" "Like not scary enough?" He nods. "Oh, definitely." Not for him of course. "I find it a bit too much." He grins at you. "Then let's stop. I can be your entertainment for the night."

Butch Gilzean is so considerate. While he loves to be the tough guy who you can cling to, he dislikes seeing you scared.

You jerk back the second time since the damn thing started, already wanting to bury your head in his chest. Maybe you should. He definitely wouldn't mind. "Hey, baby, you ok?" You sigh. "This isn't my type of movie." "Too scary?" Before you can respond, he adds, "I'm not judgin' you." You nod slowly. "Yes, that's exactly why." "Do you want me to switch it off?" "Yes, I think I need that, thank you." He shakes his head. "No problem, babe. I'm here if you need me." You let yourself sink into his embrace, hearing him sigh, happy to have you this close. Hugging him without being scared is way better anyways.

Alfred Pennyworth knows people, how they show or hide thoughts and emotions. He also knows that Wayne Manor is not cold enough for you to have goosebumps like this.

When the film surprises you, you startle a little and soon feel Alfred's hands move over your arms. Sensing your low temperature, he stops abruptly to look at you. "Goodness, you're shivering, dear. Are you alright? Is the film scaring you too much?" "I'm afraid so." "Well, then let's stop. There's no need to force yourself to watch it. Let me go grab a blanket for you and then we can decide what we'll do instead."

______________ Author's note: Maybe it's better that I'm posting this after Halloween, this way you might have made had an experience like this and can now read fluffy comfort about it 🥰

->part 4

[tarrenterror25]

POV: You get a boo basket from Alfred Pennyworth

[eupheme]

Idk why this has been stuck in my head but Alfred and facefucking is just 😮‍💨👌🏽

You and Alfred are very open with each other and are happy to try anything once. And he knows that you’d never judge or deny him but the idea is just so filthy he’s can’t bear to ask you.

But maybe you notice the way he restrains himself whenever you get on your knees for him, white-knuckle gripping the nearest surface to restrain himself and you can tell he wants more.

You open your throat and grip the back of his thighs but still yourself, looking up at him with glassy eyes, practically begging him to give in to himself.

His hands shakily gripping the base of your skull as he slides himself out to the tip before thrusting back in, the wet gag you make like music to his ears.

anon oh my god get back here and say more! 👀💖 I love this so much - and right the trust would be there but surely those desires doesn’t align with ones of a gentleman, and if nothing else alfred prides himself on his self-restraint. I could so see him pushing down those urges - perhaps imagining that submission, for just a brief moment, but nothing more.

but of course you’ve come to read him, of course you want that too, and yes, that silent begging for him to give in - ahh!!! I am going to be thinking about this all day! 💕

[demonicsuffrage]

Bruce dropped out of medical school and as much as he tries to hide it, his kids all find out. Ofcourse they never let him live it down after that

Emo 21-year-old Bruce: You're not my father, Alfred!

Alfred: Quite right. I have a medical degree, and you don't.

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick: Hey I'm dropping out of Gotham University

Bruce: What? You're quitting college halfway?! Unacceptable, you cannot just give up on your engineering degree-

Dick: I did not just hear the failed doctor say that

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, fuming: You left my side tonight to go and gallivant around with harley quinn? A villain?

Steph: So what if she's a villain, Bruce? Atleast the villain has a doctorate.

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, bandaging Duke's wound because Alfred was busy: There, all done

Duke: Woah, didn't expect that from a college dropout

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Stop ignoring my orders in the field! You need to listen, I have more experience-

Jason, as red hood, with his PhD in English: Which one of us actually has a Dr in front of their name?

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim: So I'm dropping out of high school

Bruce: You too?! First Dick and now you?!

Tim: No, first it was you, then Dick, and now me

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Damian, your recent report card indicates you're falling behind in Biology

Damian: Tt. Must run in the family, then.

Bruce:

[bats-and-the-birds]

So, when the Batkids get hurt, like, seriously hurt, they logically know that they best place they could go is the batcave. Fully stocked infirmary, the most updated medical technology possible, and Alfred to give them tea and sew up all of the wounds that they can't quite reach.

However, if any of them are even mildly beefing with Bruce, which they almost always are, they'll be damned if they're gonna face The Disappointed Bat Glare (tm) while also bleeding out, much less the speech that will inevitably follow.

This leads to either

A. The batkids sneaking into each others apartments and safehouses to get help, aka

Tim: -humming to himself as he flicks on the lights of the common room at Titans Tower-

Dick: -slumped on the couch dripping blood from two stab wounds- Hey, Timmy. Could you get your med kit?

Tim: -brief high pitched scream- FUCK!!! -long silence- Yeah, sure.

Dick: Great. Also, Bart heard me calling for you in the dark, and he thought I was a ghost of some sort. I think he ran to Mexico to get away, so you might want to track him down.

B. The batkids attempting to sneak into the batcave and patch themselves up without Bruce realizing they were ever there, aka

Jason: -sneaking through the medical bay in the dark, trying to silently open drawers when the lights suddenly come on-

Alfred: -standing by the light switch- Master Jason, may I inquire as to what you're doing here?

Jason: -actively gushing blood from his side- ....Nothing.

Alfred: Do you require stitches?

Jason: ....No.

Alfred: -actively pulling out the supplies to stitch up his wound- If you say so, Master Jason.

[nyukaart]

Teen dad Bruce(19y.o.) and Dick (8 y.o.) is my favorite thing

Bruce still being in College (med student) and deciding to adopt Dick just cause he can.Alfred is tired of the utter chaos these two bring Their dynamic is more like the Lego Batman movie more than anything honestly (they mean so much to meee)

[incorrectbatfam]

Alfred gets sick of Bruce breaking and losing stuff on patrol so he gets a label maker and starts naming items after the kids

Alfred: I got you a new phone, just like you asked. Its name is Jason. Try not to let it die.

Bruce, tearing up: Why would you say that—

[adhara2034]

Headcanon that the batfam has a Samsung smart refrigerator or whatever it's called, and it is used entirely for doing work while in the kitchen. There has been justice league meetings held on that motherfucker and nuclear threats disengaged.

[violent138]

Alfred's totally been arrested under suspicion that he was running a meth lab.

"I know how this looks, but the real reason I'm buying all this cough syrup for a house of very sick kids that are all--"

"Likely story pal, I suggest you use your right to remain silent. Can you believe this guy?"

[stargirlfics]

naughty or nice? how about both!

Gifting Alfred Pennyworth something special he has to unwrap in private

700 words — 18+ ONLY!

from this ask: thoughts on giving a boudoir photobook to Alfred

Soft, jazzy tunes provided the soundtrack for the drive home, you and Alfred cozied up in the back of the car, reminiscing on the night's festivities.

Another birthday well spent, a compliment he gives you sweetly as he kisses the back of your hand, giving you no choice but to lean into his touch, elated that he had a good time.

You wanted him to feel special and perhaps a little selfishly you’d been looking forward to this point in the night, going home to be alone with him at last. Besides, there was just one more gift he had to open.

Placing the neatly wrapped present in his lap you wish him one last happy birthday, watching with held breath as his brow raised at the words that followed. He wasn’t allowed to open this one until you’re home. 

“Having fun with this, aren’t you darling. Very well, I’ll be patient.” Alfred acquiesced, amused at your unexpected tease. 

It’s all you either of you can quietly think about, your hand on his thigh, sharing glaces every now and then until your fingers laced together and before you know it the car is rolling to final stop. 

You have to hold back a laugh at his quick thank you to the driver before he’s whisking you out of the car by your hand, the quick tap of his cane and your own heartbeat a rhythm all the way up to the penthouse floor. 

It’s good to be home, the soft romance of the gothic arches and spires swaying you both, keeping you close together. Until your breath is going shallow once more, your gift opened. 

He sits up once he realizes it’s a book, his expression of surprise lingering only for a moment when he flipped past the first page, a picture of you on your hands and knees arched so prettily for him on your bed, the next page a coy tease shot of your chest in one of his shirts, another of you in familiar lingerie, each one making his heart throb and his pants tighten. 

The thought of you putting this together for him, a piece of you for only his eyes to see and indulge in made him feel incredible. You spoil him and he’s grateful for this and suddenly so very hungry for you. 

“Christ, look at you. Is that my tie?” he glances up after awhile, loathe to tear his eyes away from such beauty in this naughty photoshoot but your hopeful, sweet as pie expression was just as sweet to behold. 

“Mhm, my favorite blindfold.” You’re feeling bold and are rewarded for it. 

The way he looks at you in between steady flips of the pages like he’s drinking you in from every view of you he could get made you feel adored and eventually when he can’t keep his hands to himself anymore and he’s tugging you in so gently for a kiss that turns searing within seconds, you know and can feel how much he cherishes your gift. 

He marvels at each section of photos, reminding you how gorgeous you were and god it didn’t help when he shut the book to run his hands over the spine, a gentle caress of the cover. He was going to kill you but you knew you’d welcome it if it was like this.

This time it’s you who can’t resist going in for another kiss.

Alfred lets you set the pace but his hands refuse to remain idle, exploring the whole of you, appreciating every swell and curve, the dips of your body, the way you feel so damn perfect under his hands and in his arms. He wants to commit every inch to memory.

You chase his hands and his mouth, gripping onto sturdy forearms, happy to show him how much your own desires matched his but before you could go too far a steadying and firm hand curled against your jaw had you halting the way your hips were already squirming. 

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your little stunt in the car, love. I fully intend to spend the rest of the night thanking you for such a pretty gift but not until I’ve had my fun with you first.”

whatever you say daddy!!! 🧎🏾‍♀️

[fanfic-the-wish-your-heart-makes]

Alfred Pennyworth Masterlist

Gotham Character Ranked by How Many Flowers They'd Give You + Headcanons 🌹🌸⚘🌼🌺 Part 1

Gotham Characters React to You Getting Easily Scared by a Movie 👻☠😈😨

[tarrenterror25]

thoughts no one asked for but my mind has no mouth and must scream

This is purely self indulgent.

Alfred Pennyworth (Batman 2022) x Soft/Romantic Goth F!Reader

Rating: E

Word Count: 2.3K

Tags: established relationship, smut, PinV, fluff, mention of death/the macabre, body worship, petit/short reader, smidgen of brat behavior

Song referenced in moodboard is “For You” by HIM and song mentioned in blurb is “Until Eternity” by Blackbriar (Orchestral Version).

The two of you met through a chance encounter and it grew from there. At first, Alfred wasn’t sure what to think of your eclectic style, but your personality was so endearing that he was drawn to you. There was something humorous to him about your dark style with the contrast of your welcoming and almost bubbly personality.

You’re surprisingly shy and he can’t help, but say bold and sweet things that elicit a response from you like you trying to hide your smile behind your hands or turning away from him. Honestly, whatever comes out of his mouth, he’s just as surprised as you are!

“Are you always this brave when you flirt?” you ask.

“Only seems to be when I’m around you,” he replies.

Eventually he worked up the nerve to ask you on a date and then another one and another. He found himself falling more in love with you with each passing day.

Before Alfred says goodbye to you at your doorstep, he takes your hand in his. He had been nervous the whole night, but was ready to confess his love in a way that’s special to you. He was quick to learn your fondness for poetry and he’s no poet, but he wants to show you he is sincere.

“The night has a thousand eyes and the day but one,” he recites. “Yet the light of the bright world dies with the dying sun.”

The two of you are closer now, hardly any space between you as you look up into his eyes, hanging on his every word.

“The mind has a thousand eyes and the heart but one,” he continues. “Yet the light of a whole life dies-”

“When love is done,” you finish softly.

Alfred smiles. “My time with you has been some of the best moments of my life thus far,” he says. “I find myself thinking of you always and have come to realize that should our time come to an end, I would be quite miserable. Because I love you, dearly.”

Your lace gloved hand comes up to caress his cheek and he leans into your touch. “There are darknesses in life and there are lights,” you say to him. “And you are one of the lights, the light of all lights. I love you, too, Alfred.”

Your macabre interests are fascinating to him. There’s something magnetic about how you find beauty in the darkest of things. He’s not too put off by the decor in your home; the Wayne home has some rather dark decor as well so skulls and candles are not too out of the ordinary for him.

The two of you bond over books; exchanging titles is a love language between the both of you. He does blush a bit at some of the romance ones you hand him that have smuttier scenes and he’s smitten at how interested you are in his picks for you. Often the two of you just snuggle close to each other reading your own books or reading a book together.

Your music taste is your own, though. He appreciates it, really, but it’s not his thing. Artists like HIM, Apocalyptica, or Blackbriar he finds some enjoyment in and loves to dance with you to their songs. If you play more orchestral versions of songs you like, he’s very into these; brings out the melodies a lot more in his opinion.

A beautiful and haunting voice sings about a love through time. Alfred finds you swaying and singing to the music and holds out his arms to join you.

I loved you once I loved you twice I loved you in my previous lives I know your voice, I know your eyes You haunt me through my dreams at night

Your hand rests in his and his other hand is on the small of your back, holding you close, his eyes taking all of your beauty in. He gives you a spin and pulls you back to him. You didn’t know much about dancing before him and he enjoys teaching you. He loves seeing how happy it makes you that he indulges you in dancing to your music.

Oh, my love, we’ll meet again We always do in the end Our two souls destined to be You and I until eternity

Oh, the way you look at him, with such love and adoration. It melts him from the inside out. You are a romantic and you make him feel things he wasn’t sure he was capable of feeling anymore. The way you love is something out of a novel. It’s something only seen in dreams and heard of in songs like these.

We live on and on and on Death is weak and we are strong On and on and on Time is weak and we are strong

“I’m very lucky to have you, Alfred,” you say as he expertly twirls you, his arm coming over you, spinning you outward and then pulling you back to him.

“It’s quite the opposite, darling,” he says before slowly dipping you so that your head falls back and your neck is exposed to him. You let your arms slowly descend as your body drapes over his arm. His free hand comes up to caress your neck, his thumb brushing across your throat right under your chin. “I’m the lucky one,” he says moving his hand to cradle the back of your head and to guide you back up so he can kiss you.

I loved you once I loved you twice I loved you in my previous lives And when I die just keep in mind I’ll love you in another life

Despite different tastes in music for the majority, you do share a love of opera and classical music. Alfred enjoys taking you to the opera, theatre, or to the music hall for a concert. Other dates include places like the museum, both art and history. You have shown him many new things he either didn’t know or never noticed before. Your favorite date, that Alfred has also become quite fond of, is afternoon picnics in the park. The prim and proper butler was hesitant at first, but soon became more relaxed with the idea. Of course, you have a black picnic basket complete with all kinds of morsels inside. You retrieve two gothic goblets and he smiles; you are unabashedly you through and through and he loves it.

In his time knowing you before you started dating, your more revealing or accentuating wardrobe definitely had him blushing, but now that you’re his, oh, it still flusters him, but now he doesn’t feel so bad about looking. He adores your fashion sense; there’s an air of elegance to it while still reflecting your bright personality. You are shorter than he is and sometimes your shoes make you a little taller than him, but he doesn’t mind it at all. He just smiles, feeling proud of you for dressing in what makes you feel beautiful.

Alfred loves how you dote on him, always complimenting him on what a gentleman he is or how sweet and polite he is. It makes his chest swell with pride and inspires him. He loves how you help with little things like helping put on his tie; his eyes watch your black nails gently situate it properly on his neck and adjust his collar and you help him put on a coat or jacket and smooth it out.

His favorite gift from you is the cane you got him. The handle is a silver knob with a bat etched onto it. It’s so thoughtful to him and he uses it all the time now.

The first time the two of you are intimate, Alfred is taken back by what you’ve worn for the occasion; all the ribbons and lace decorating your body have him filled to the brim with desire. Despite how your choice of attire is dark in color, it is soft and demure in nature. He’s soft and gentle with you, but will take on a more dominant attitude if you ask for it. He loves you riding on top of him with your lingerie in full view. It’s too beautiful on you for him to ask you to take it off. He loves running his hands over your stocking clad thighs and watching how the fabric pulls and stretches across your body as you bounce on him.

He has you underneath him. He holds onto one of your thighs wrapped around him, using his grip to help him drive deeper into you. The soft mewls and whines you make are music to his ears. He’s thrusting slowly into you, his forehead pressed against yours and his eyes shut as he tries to focus on not just pounding you mercilessly.

“It’s so difficult to not lose control, love,” he says with a shaky breath. “You don’t know what you do to me.”

With his face held in between your hands, you utter a wish from your black painted lips for him to let go and to fuck you.

Who is he to deny you? He’d gladly do anything you ask of him.

He sits up and bends your knees as far as can towards you head and fucks you harder, deeper, and faster until you can’t form a coherent thought and you’re a mewling mess beneath him.

Alfred has a hard time actually keeping his hands off of you; he loves holding your hand, having your arm looped in his, his arm around your waist, or his hand resting on your thigh. He just wants you close to him at all times and loves showing you off as his. He’s not at all bothered by the stark contrast of you and him together.

Sometimes he does want to be handsy in other ways, especially when you tease by bending over further than necessary or brushing up against him. He’ll return the favor once the two of you are alone.

In the car, you lied about needing something from the backseat and proceeded to twist your body to reach a thing that he’s sure you made up as an excuse to put your ass on display for him. Your dress riding up and nearly exposing your backside. He quickly grabs the hem of your dress and holds it down to honor your modesty.

“Darling,” he says, “surely this can wait?”

“I’m sure I left it back here,” you call out.

As you shuffle through some things in the backseat, he’s very aware of how close his hand is to your clothed sex and occasionally you keep pushing back onto his hand making him brush up against it. And then inside of your place, you kept brushing against him, your chest against his front or your backside against the front of his pants. He knows what you’re doing, he can tell by the way you bite your black painted lip and the way you look at him from under those long lashes.

You’re so shy, particularly when it comes to letting him know what you want him to do to you and just as you love riling him up with your actions, he loves putting you on the spot, making you say out loud what you want.

He tips your chin up, thumb brushing your bottom lip. “Use your words, darling,” he says. “What is it you want?”

So when he gets you alone, he returns the favor. He gets you in your room and stops your roaming hands. He gently instructs you to sit on the bed and he kneels in front of you. He makes sure his movements are slow, his fingers barely brushing your skin as they trail down to the little buckles of your heels. He helps remove them and then lets his fingers ghost further up to where your garters hold up your stockings. He undoes these next and slowly peels them off your skin, trailing kisses along your thighs and legs. He glances up at you, watching how you squirm under his touch.

“Stand up, darling, and turn around,” he says softly.

He’s kissing your neck and shoulders as he undoes the laces of your corset. Your back arching and your head tossing back to rest on his shoulder begging for him to hurry up and touch you.

“Be patient, darling,” he says. “I want to savor you.”

Once you’re completely undressed and with him still fully clothed, he’s worshipping your body; planting slow and soft kisses everywhere while his hands caress your flesh. It’s a slow build before he’s finally inside you, but he makes it worth the wait.

Alfred is extremely protective of you while the two of you are out and about. He knows your style of dress isn’t widely accepted and sometimes the looks you get from people get to you. He’ll soothe you as best as he can to help you feel better.

“You look wonderful, darling.” “Would you like to borrow my coat?” “It’s perfectly alright if you wish to go back home, I don’t mind.”

If you go out by yourself, he’s just as protective, but does his best to not be overbearing. Sometimes you like to go out dancing to places, that he admits, just aren’t for someone like him; places like the Iceberg Lounge or Gotham City Olympus. He only asks that you send a text upon your arrival and departure from your destination. He also implores you to not hesitate to contact him if you need anything.

Sometimes he’s the one who gets self conscious. The thought that you might like someone more like you does creep into his mind at times. But then he remembers that not once have you tried to change him, you love him as he is.

“Sometimes I do wonder if perhaps someone with interests closer to yours might be more suitable for you,” he says.

“I’m interested in you, Alfred,” you say before kissing him.

You are definitely an unexpected surprise in his life, but he wouldn’t trade you for anything.

[thefriendlyneighborhoodqueer]

sometimes i think about how funny it would be if bruce had a slight english accent as a result of alfred being the only adult in his life for most of his formative years. that or he just says british slang instead of english.

this either drives his children insane, or they think it’s the most hilarious thing ever.

__________________________

Bruce: Can you pass the chips?

Dick: Sure, B. *passes over the potato chips*

Bruce: No, the chips.

Dick: ???? … yeah? here?

Bruce: NO! THE CHIPS! *gesturing wildly for the french fries*

Damian: Father, are you having a stroke?

———

Batman: Alright, this mission is very important. It is imperative that everything goes to schedule. (shh-edule)

*red robin and red hood snicker*

Batman: *glare* As I was saying, it all must go to shh-edule…

RR & RH : *uproariously laughter *

Batman: *harsher glare* Is something funny?

RR: Oh nothing, B, don’t worry.

RH: Absolutely nothing wrong, “left-tenant”

RR & RH: *dying of laughter *

———

Bruce: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??

Duke: … You sound like Alfred…

Bruce: *horrified look over coming him* … what

Cass: *furious nodding*

*Some time later, after B has been fished out of Gotham Harbor, which he jumped into after declaring that he “couldn’t turn into his father”*

Alfred: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??

Bruce: *white as a sheet* … Sorry Alfie…

*Steph is heard furiously cackling in the background*

_______________________

anyways i just thought this was fun