#sao incorrect quotes

[bluerosesinthenightsky]

YUJIKIRI INCORRECT QUOTES {{PART2}} -FT. KIRITO, EUGEO AND FRIENDS-

What do you mean it's almost been 4 years since I posted the first incorrect quotes? No it hasn't! SHUT.

Kirito, pointing: May I sit there? Eugeo That's my lap Kirito: That doesn't answer my question, Eugeo. _ _ _

Eugeo: While I’m gone, Kirito, you’re in charge. Kirito: Yes!!! Eugeo, whispering: Alice, you’re secretly in charge. Alice: Obviously. _ _ _ Eugeo: If Kirito and I were drowning, who would you save? Alice: You two can’t swim? Kirito: It’s a hypothetical question, Alice! who would you save? Alice: my time and effort. _ _ _ Asuna: Truth or dare? Kirito: Dare Asuna: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room Kirito: Hey Alice? Alice, blushing: Yeah? Kirito: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Eugeo.

_ _ _

Eugeo: *Screams* Kirito: *Screams louder to establish dominance* Alice: Should we do something? Asuna: No, I want to see who wins. _ _ _

Eugeo: Why are your tongues purple? Alice: We had slushies. I had a blue one. Asuna: I had a red one. Eugeo: oh Eugeo: Eugeo: OH Kirito: Kirito: You drank each other's slushies? _ _ _

Eugeo: Kirito, I'm sad. Kirito: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Asuna: Alice, I'm sad. Alice, nodding: mood. _ _ _

Kirito: Eugeo and I don’t use pet names. Yui: I see. Hey, what do bees make? Kirito: Honey? Eugeo Yes, dear? Kirito: .... Yui: Don't ever lie to my face again, Papa! _ _ _ Eugeo: I trust Kirito. Yui: You think Papa knows what he's doing? Eugeo: I wouldn't go that far. _ _ _

Eugeo: Why are you on the floor? Kirito: I'm depressed. Kirito: Also, I was stabbed, can you get Selka, please. _ _ _ Kirito: I’m this close to falling in love with Eugeo. Selka: Your fingertips are touching. Kirito: Exactly. _ _ _

*Kirito and Eugeo flirting with each other yet again* Alice: And you two are sure you're not dating? Kirito: 100%. Eugeo: Of course not! Why would you think that? Alice: I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Eugeo. I WONDER. _ _ _

Eugeo: I have a bad feeling about this... Kirito: What do you mean? Eugeo: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble? Kirito: No? Alice: That actually explains so much. _ _ _

Eugeo: I'm so happy, I could kiss you! Kirito: Um...Neat. *later* Kirito, lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Ronie. Who the hell says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm a dumbass. Ronie reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Kirito-senpai. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Tiese confessed their love for me? Kirito: Didn't you thank them? Ronie *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I thanked them.

_ _ _

Eugeo: This food is too hot… I can't eat it. Kirito: You’re very hot, and I still eat you. Everyone at the table: silence Tiese: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! Ronie: One dinner… I just want ONE DINNER! _ _ _

Alice: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”. Asuna: *looks over at Kirito and Eugeo*

Asuna: Is it “sexual tension”? _ _ _ Klein, bursting into the room: You two are having sex! Eugeo, not looking up from their book: Really? Kirito, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down. _ _ _

*Eugeo is telling a story* Kirito: Wow, Eugeo, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance! Klein: Romance? Kirito: I have a crush on them. _ _ _ And that's all for now! Hope you enjoyed! I promise the next one won't take years to come out.

[uncorrectintamed]

Jiang Cheng: I can't believe you just ran off on your own like that!

Wei Wuxian: Really? What part of that was out of character for me?

Jiang Cheng: ...fair enough.

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

Wei Wuxian: *beating the absolute shit out of some Jin guards*

MianMian: Is he gonna be alright?

Lan Wangji: Ah, just let him work it out of his system. He’ll tire himself out eventually.

MianMian: If you say so.

MianMian: On a related note, are you at all concerned by the delight A-Yuan seems to be taking in all this?

A-Yuan, excitedly: Go for their eyes, baba! That is their weak point!

Wei Wuxian: THANK YOU SWEETIE!!!

Lan Wangji: Not really, why?

[sounds of explosions in the background]

A-Yuan: *giggles*

MianMian: No reason. You guys seem like a great family.

Lan Wangji: Thank you.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

gardenGnostic: i still think those troll guys could have helped us out a little more >:B

twinArmageddons: iif ii miight iinterject

GG: and who the hell might you be??

TA: ii am known by many name2

TA: mountaiinbla2ter…

TA: thunder2warm…

TA: the doubleberry bla2t…

TA: but you? you may call me…

TA: 2olluxander

GG: solluxander, huh? that’s a pretty, human, name?

TA: 2houldn’t be, iit'2 alterniian

GG: okayyy, i don’t know how to talk to you

TA: good, then you can 2hut up and lii2ten

[incorrect-web-novels]

Nie Mingjue: NONSENSE! The Nie Sect doesn't even know the meaning of the word "surrender"!

Nie Huaisang: But we're willing to learn!

[sao-abridged-incorrectquotes]

Klein: Asuna, Kirito's missing! Can you find him?

Asuna: Do you think I have him microchipped or something?

Klein: Well do you?

Asuna: ...yeah hang on

[alien-slushie]

Alastor: So, why do you need my help with this fellow?

Angel: What? Are you sayin you /don't/ want ta humiliate him in front of an adorin audience?

Alastor: Don't put words in my mouth.

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Cheavy: Oh you. Always asking questions, probing at the armour. It'd almost be adorable if it wasn't such a nuisance. Much like that little boy toy of yours.

Medic: What?

Cheavy: Oh? That certainly got a reaction. Did I finally find a nerve?

Medic: …

Cheavy: Well, you'll be happy to know that him and the rest of your former teammates are in the area. No doubt the little pissant thinks he's going to charge in here and save you. The fool.

Medic: …

Cheavy: *laughs maniacally* I could just let my team handle him, but I think I’d rather enjoy taking him out myself. Heh, I can hardly even imagine the satisfaction of seeing that glimmer of hope die in his eyes! It should be quite the show.

Medic: ...

Cheavy: *sneering* Don't you think, Frankenstein?!

Medic: *quietly* I think if you touch a single hair on his head, I'm going to be wearing your guts like my late mother's pashmina.

Cheavy: …Excuse me?

Medic: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I fucking stutter?

Medic: *glares at Cheavy, the fires of Hell burning in his eyes* I said if you hurt him, you will experience pain and torment beyond anything you could possibly imagine. Your body will be torn apart, piece by piece, as you beg for a mercy that will never come. I will add your screams to my goddamn Spotify, and I will see your head mounted on a fucking pike!!!

Cheavy: *trying and failing to keep his composure* Y-You should hear how ridiculous you sound right now. T-Trying to threaten me from behind bars...

Medic: *continues to glare as omninous latin chants start to play from nowhere*

[incorrect-piltover-quotes]

Vi: So anyway, I think we should go over what we know so far.

Caitlyn: Why? I figured the whole thing out hours ago

Vi: You WHAT?!

[ofmdincorrect]

Stede: *Put ranch on his rice*

Zheng: I should have let the English kill you

[thatguywhodoesstuff]

NUzi Date Goes Awry

A friend showed me this, and my mind immediately went to NUzi.

(N and Uzi are on a date, only for N to say something cringe and panic)

Uzi: (Jokingly) Wow. That was almost kind of romantic.

N's Left Brain: What are you doing?! We're blowing this!

N's Right Brain: Well, what were we supposed to say?! We don't even know what made her like us in the first place!

LB!N: Fine, fine. Just calm down. The hard part's over. So long as she doesn't throw us any curve balls, I think we're good.

Uzi: So... what should we do now?

LB!N: BISCUITS!

RB!N: What the heck is she talking about?! What comes after handholding?!

LB!N: I don't know! All the dating sims she showed us just go to credits at this point...

RB!N: Well, she asked us a question, so we have to say something!

LB!N: Look, just... Just. Say. Anything!

RB!N: Anything?!

LB!N: Anything! Just... Say it with confidence.

RB!N: Eh, alright. Here goes nothing...

N: We should get married.

LB!N: NOOOOO!!!!

RB!N: What?! You said "Say anything"!

LB!N: ANYTHING EXCEPT THAT, OBVIOUSLY!

RB!N: I'M SORRY, I DON'T WORK WELL UNDER PRESSURE!

LB!N: (Sigh) You know what? It's fine. Forget it. We'll just, play it off as a joke. No harm done.

Uzi: (Crying tears of joy) Yes! Let's do it!

LB!N: YOU FOOL! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!!!

RB!N: Hey, uh, she seems pretty happy about it! Maybe she knows something we don't!

Uzi's Left Brain: BITCH! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YES!?

Uzi's Right Brain: I DON'T KNOOOOOW!!!

[bluerosesinthenightsky]

YUJIKIRI INCORRECT QUOTES -Hints Poly Dynamics- {{PART3}} -FT. KIRITO, EUGEO AND FRIENDS-

I told you it wouldn't take years for it to come out!

Kirito: You’re so clingy. Eugeo.

Eugeo: You got into my bed.

Kirito, cuddling him: And you let me? You’re smothering me, Eugeo~ _ _ _

Kirito: I never make the same mistakes twice!

Eugeo: True. He makes it five or six times, just to be sure. _ _ _

Kirito: I’m into polyarmory

Eugeo: You mean polyamory right?

Kirito: [shoving multiple swords for dual wielding into the loops on his shoulder straps] what? _ _ _ Alice: Some of you are not allowed to go out alone anymore due to your poor planning skills.

Eugeo: Is it me?

Alice: No.

Kirito: Is it me?

Alice: Well, it's not Eugeo.

_ _ _ Kirito: I haven't really known what I've been doing since I was like 15, but I don't think it's too obvious

Eugeo It is. It is extremely obvious. _ _ _ Kirito: *pretending to joke* So when are you going to go out with me?

Eugeo: I don't know. When are you going to ask me to?

Suguha: And you just ran away?!

Kirito: I didn't expect him to flirt back! _ _ _ Eugeo: Due to personal reasons, I will be sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Asuna: Did Kirito say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?

Eugeo: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL– _ _ _

Kirito: I didn't drink that much last night.

Asuna: You were flirting with Eugeo.

Kirito: So what? They're my partner.

Asuna: You asked if they were single.

Asuna: And then you cried when they said they weren't. _ _ _

Asuna: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Kirito. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Kirito!

Eugeo: Nope.

Asuna: In that case, as the archbishop of Eugeo's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Kirito right on the lips!!! _ _ _ Asuna: Having many partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication.

Kirito: It’s my turn to cuddle Eugeo.

Asuna and Alice: JUST FIVE MORE MINUTES, KIRITO- DAMN!

_ _ _ Eugeo: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Kirito:. ... I'm gonna tell him..

Alice: Don't you dare.

_ _ _

Eugeo: There's no way he would like me back.

Alice: Kirito would throw himself in front of the blade of a sword for you.

Eugeo: Kirito would throw himself in front of a moving sword for fun. _ _ _ Asuna: How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Alice: *blushing* I—

Kirito, butting into the conversation: Eugeo is perfect, thanks for asking. _ _ _

Ronie : Why do you look like that?

Kirito, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Ronie : Like you’re dead.

Kirito: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Tiese: Kirito accidentally called Eugeo “babe” in front of everyone today.

Kirito: *sobs into the floor* _ _ _ Kirito: That's ridiculous, Eugeo doesn't have a crush on me.

Tiese: Yes they do.

Ronie : Yes they do.

Eugeo: Yes I do. _ _ _ And that's all for now~

[incorrectly-quoting-murderdrones]

Uzi: Stay calm. You already have everything you need to win.

N: The power to believe in myself?!

Uzi: No, a KNIFE! Stab it!!!

[bipanicoverthegravessiblings]

Ashley: Boss won’t get off your back? Girlfriend won’t stop nagging you? Did your fuckstick parents sell you to organ traffickers because they don’t love anybody but themselves? Have you considered ✨murder✨

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

DAVE: listen i dont doubt your skills but maybe you and your goon squad should go home, take a nap, and leave all the fighting to the real asskickers around here

VRISKA: Nonsense! My Prospitian 8rigade does not know the meaning of the word “surrender”!

TAVROS: bUT WE’RE WILLING TO LEARN,,,

[mermaidfanficlibrary]

What did you do??

Y/n: *sleeping soundly on their desk*

Ace: *draws a cat face on them*

Yuu & Deuce: *Watching this happen, fearing for Ace's life*

Y/n: *waking up from their small nap noticing their friends staring at them* Hey guys, what's going on?

Ace: Hey sleepy head, how was your na- *screams*

Y/n: *grabs Ace's shirt and glares at him, picking up the tone* Tell me what you did right now! And you may live.

Ace: *stammers trying to answer* I drew whiskers on your face!

Y/n: *releases their grip on Ace, looking confused* What?

Ace: I drew cat whiskers on you because I thought it would be funny, and it was.

Y/n: *glares at Ace* With what kind of marker?

Ace: *jumps out of his desk, knowing he fucked up*

Y/n: *runs after him* Get back over here you little shit!

Yuu & Deuce: *deadpans, not surprised how the situation went*

Taglist: @nightshade-clown

a/n: Me and a friend have been binging Sao abridged, and this quote was too perfect for Ace and Y/n

Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!