#same goes for one piece tbh
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ever go on tiktok and see the shittiest take on politics but the pfp is eren yeager or some bs
#like ohhhh ok so u watched all of aot with ur eyes closed#eren pfps are the WORSTTTTTT#mikasa and armin pfps on top 4evaaaa#aot#attack on titan#snk#eren yeager#eren jaeger#shingeki no kyojin#same goes for one piece tbh#what is luffy doing there vouching for capitalism 💀💀💀 brother thats literally anime karl marx….#rewriting
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Click for better quality!
Hey guys I'm still into wha btw, here's my art for the deciduous spells zine, just wanted to draw my favorite guys being happy for once.
I feel like my art always ends up being in a modern au idk how, it just keeps happening
#I don't talk enough about how much I love these guys#also can you tell this was my first time drawing Coustas and Tartah? Probably#this one is from September so it's a lil rushed bc I was going thru it with uni homework (I still am)#Man I want to make more fanart but something always comes up yk how it is#Wha zine#Wha fanart#coco witch hat atelier#Coustas witch hat atelier#Tartah#Coustas#atelier of witch hat#witch hat atelier#i drew something#Wha coco#Wha Coustas#Wha tartah#It's not really an old piece but tbh I probably would have done some things differently if I'd made it today#the composition never quite satisfied me with this one you have no idea how many sketches I made and none ended up looking good ughhh#But whatever what's done it's done life goes on and all that#Alt text#image description in alt#image described#image description in alt text#I feel like I always put too many tags saying the same thing#Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes in the alt text there might be idk English
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What’s your opinion on relationship between Roger and young shuggy
Making this quick because I think I've talked about this already an awful lot (and I love it. Please. Anything that has to do with young Shuggy makes me go feral every time).
A lot of people believe Roger played favorites when it came to his kids because. I mean. Look at the scenes we have. Giving Shanks his hat (in fact, both of his hats in that Wano scene) and in general not paying that much attention to Buggy unless it's to tell him to stay behind instead of going to Laugh Tale because he is sick (which is literally what any father would do and this only shows that he cares for him).
But I think he loved both a lot, just in different ways. And I believe that both ended up pretty messed up with how they were raised.
From what we've seen, the flashbacks we have are from Oden's POV and Buggy's. We never have Roger's or Shanks' or even Reyleigh's interpretations of what happened. So, from what we've seen, I think Roger put a lot of pressure on Shanks to be his legacy at a very young age and Buggy interpreted this with envy and thought Roger didn't care about him the same. Which is a valid thought, especially from what we've seen. But I personally like to think Roger went just a little bit harder on Buggy because of the typical "You have a lot of potential but you have to fight harder than the rest to achieve it and by ignoring you I am giving you an opportunity to be independent" or something like that. Because I think it makes more sense than Roger straight-up playing favorites.
Seriously, where is my scene of Buggy resenting Shanks and saying that he was Roger's favorite and Shanks being extremely fucking confused because "What do you mean his favorite?! He only talked about you, moron!".
So to summarize, I think we don't have that much content to have a specific canon interpretation, but in my opinion, I think Buggy's POV is really altered by his jealousy and envy toward Shanks and it only shows that Shanks was also under a lot of pressure. But that doesn't mean Roger didn't love them. Those were his kids!!!! That is their dad!!! I'm not fighting anybody about this. So he loved them but since he knew he was dying he trusted Shanks a little bit too much being the face of the new generation and gave Buggy a bit of a harsher treatment because he thought he had to work more than the average.
And that is how you end up with two sons: A failguy with a savior complex who is always sacrificing himself and drinking himself stupid and a clown with an inferiority complex that only knows how to survive instead of fighting for what he wants.
#okay so basically roger wasn't the best dad ever BUT saying he didn't love buggy the same is outrageous and i am willing to fight abt it#this is only speculation btw it's how i see it but tbh you can do whatever you want with the content we have#i was watching gravity falls the other day and-- that scene of stan saying he goes harder on dipper bc he reminds him of himself#that is roger and buggy to me#i do not care if this is not canon okay it is to me#one piece#buggy the clown#red haired shanks#gol d. roger#shuggy#< target audience#for obvious reasons
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shuake week day 2 - new game plus
plus, bonus!
#shuake week 2023#oof my art i guess#persona 5#goro akechi#akira kurusu#shuake#this is soooooooo incredibly silly goofy#there was this one post floating around on Twitter abt how akira had a matching pair of gloves when he did ng+#and I went “ok but make it bigger#and like it’s silly yes but it’s also the tragedy of repeating the same events with the hope that they’ll turn out differently#until you’re physically overwhelmed with the reminder that no matter what you do you cannot change the fate of the person you love#idk I’m Crazy abt them dude#the angst spawned out of nowhere tbh she was a last minute addition#also this whole thing is kinda sketchy and rough but like I work full time during the summer#and I think I’d explode if I was dropping a fully rendered piece every day#so here we are#still a fun silly time regardless I hope!!#if all goes well I’ll be back tomorrow with another :))
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Stacy’s Mom Has Got It Goin’ On ˚̣̣ ᵕ̣̣̣̣̣̣
Pairing: Husband!Rafe Cameron x Soccer-mom!Wife!Reader
It’s not easy being a soccer-mom, especially when dads hit on you at every game as if you’re not married to Rafe.
Wc: 1,596
Fluff, Protective Rafe making an appearance, kinda pushy guy (idk what to say)
An: I’ve really wanted to write a fic based on this song, and this idea randomly popped into my head so! Am I using the names I wanna name my kids? Yes, yes I am.
Not proofread tbh
Feedback always appreciated lovelies!! xx
“I’ll be back, ‘mkay doll?”
You hum in acknowledgement, eyes peering back at the field after looking up.
Your husband, Rafe leant down and places a firm kiss on your forehead.
“Yeahhh, Daddy’s gonna be back, baby.” Rafe coos at your two year old, who was sitting on your lap, babbling freely while peering at him with her big doe eyes.
Rafe walks off the bleachers; in search of the concession stand to buy food for the three of you.
You brush your hand over your young daughter’s head, making sure her somewhat oversized hat is still covering her head entirely. Her hand wraps around your index finger.
It was oddly humid today, if you continued moving, you’d break a slight sweat. You can't even imagine what your daughter -Stacy must be feeling, running around on the large grassy field under the beaming bright sun.
You were proud of your baby girl though, nonetheless. And so was Rafe, of course.
You shout loudly when you notice the game is about to start, bellowing out a “Go Stacy!”
Stacy’s eyes easily found yours, for you and Rafe would always sit in the same spot on the bleachers.
Her eyes were slightly wide due to your shout, despite you and Rafe always cheering for her during her games.
She’s motioning for you to ‘shh’, putting her fingers to her lips before getting into her position.
“Which one’s yours?” You hear to the left of you, the unknown voice makes you tear your eyes away from the field.
You smile shortly at the unfamiliar man next to you, “Number 22.”
You can’t help but notice how he’s rather scruffy looking, an odd contrast to your upkept husband with his neatly buzzed hair.
“Mine’s number 13.” He says, flashing his teeth at you.
You gasp and shoot up a little, making you look down at your daughter on your lap. “Valerie’s yours? Oh she’s just the sweetest!”
The man chuckles, looking deeply in your eyes. This makes your eyebrows raise, slightly in confusion, but mostly in discomfort.
He hadn’t done anything out of the norm, you’d randomly talk to the other moms around too, but something about him made you uncomfortable.
“My name's Brandon, and yours?”
You introduce yourself briefly, before turning back towards the game.
His eyes dart to your left hand, looking for a ring, for any indication that you belong to someone else. He smiles sharply when he finds your fingers bare. This goes unnoticed by you.
Little does he know, you do have your ring on, just around your neck.
Your biggest fear was your youngest accidentally pulling off your ring, resulting in you losing it. Or, even worse: it pokes her eye or something of that nature.
You suppose you could be considered a ‘Helicopter-mom’ at times, simply going to the extremes to make sure your kids are happy and healthy at every point in time.
Rafe is the exact same way, maybe even a little worse. But you knew he was just protective, he loves this life that he has with you, since he had no idea the two of you would’ve been together for so long.
You had started dating Rafe when you were 18 and he was 19. It was good for the first few months, disregarding the few arguments that you had. But then, you had caught Rafe doing cocaine.
You don’t think you’ll ever be able to shake the look on his face from your memory.
You weren’t supposed to be at the party, you said you were busy filling out college applications.
So when he was mid-line, and he saw you standing there all dolled up, watching him with glossy eyes, he felt his heart shatter into pieces.
You weren’t supposed to find out, he wanted to keep this away from you, to keep you close to him.
He promised that he would try and stay sober for you, but eventually he’d give in every time the opportunity was in front of him. This resulted in several arguments, and surprisingly, a break up.
But things are different now. You both are in your 30’s, you got married, and of course, had two beautiful babies together.
Rafe knew he’d be crazy to fuck things up now, when he has the perfect life right in front of him.
Speaking of which; you’re really starting to wonder what the hell is taking him so long just to get some goddamn hotdogs and drinks.
You’re bouncing your knee anxiously, which makes your daughter giggle. You wish she wasn’t finding this amusing, but you know she can’t help it.
“Well who’s this cute girl, huh?” The man coos, tickling your daughter’s side.
“Her name is Noelle.” You huff, your mood quickly
shifting to do this stranger touching your daughter.
He lets out another chuckle, you wish you never had to hear it again. “Sounds like you’re quoting Teenage Dirtbag to me.”
You give him a pointed look, you’re really getting sick of his pestering. “That’s where I got it from.”
Abruptly, the crowd starts cheering madly. You look around and see Stacy's team celebrating briefly; they had just scored a goal.
You cheer and clap, grabbing Noelle’s chubby hands and making her raise her arms wildly while giggling with her.
“Y’know, I’ve been thinking. Maybe we could-” Before Brandon could finish his sentence, none other than Rafe Cameron comes stomping up the bleachers, huffing and puffing angrily.
He sits down and sighs, “God, I’m sorry babe. The line was so long! I swear I’m going grey right now.”
“And I missed the goddamn play!” Rafe exclaims. He looks over at you and immediately goes quiet once he sees those wide baby eyes that look at him curiously.
“Da?” Noelle mutters, reaching her tiny hands towards Rafe’s larger ones.
“Yeah. Da’s here babygirl, do you want your food? Huh sweet girl?”
Rafe hands you your food, setting his food aside so he can put Noelle in his lap. He begins to split half his hotdog in pieces for her.
You glance to the left, you notice Brandon looking like a fish out of water.
Rafe is the CEO of one of, if not the biggest business company around. And Brandon had just borderline harassed his wife, who was holding his child.
Brandon sneers at the two of you in silence while the game continues, nearly boiling at the fact that he couldn’t have you.
Your head is laying on Rafe’s shoulders, you’re rubbing circles on Noelle’s shoulder as she settles down.
“Everything alright babe?” Rafe asks, trying to peer down at your face.
You untuck your necklace with your wedding ring from your shirt, fiddling with it. “Yeah, now that you’re here Ray.”
There’s silence between the two of you for a few seconds.
“…What does that mean?”
You hesitate to answer, but you do regardless, “Nothing! It’s just uh..That guy next to me, was kinda like hassling me I guess.”
This makes Rafe straighten his back.
“He do somethin’ to you doll?” Rafe questions in a whisper. You know you have about 30 seconds to try and calm him down before he’s banned from every soccer game left in the season.
“No, okay? I’m fine, it’s cool. I need you to calm down Ray.”
Rafe’s nose is flaring, “What about Ellie? Did he touch her?”
You feel your throat closing up, your heart is damn near pounding out of your chest.
You don’t say anything to Rafe, but that look in your eyes tells him everything he needs to know.
You grab his bicep, trying to keep him grounded. Even though he’s changed, some parts of him haven’t.
Rafe speaks lowly in your ear, but not too much to frighten you in any way. “I’ll take care of it, okay? Don’t worry y’pretty little head about it.”
Rafe presses a firm kiss against your cheek, then presses a softer one to your lips.
After 30 more minutes, and 2 more goals, Stacy’s team wins.
You and Rafe cheer loudly, letting out “That’s our baby girl!”
You meet Stacy at the bottom of the bleachers, holding Noelle in your hand as the littlest claps her hands between Stacy’s face.
You’re too busy congratulating your daughter to notice Rafe pulling Brandon aside while his daughter, Valerie is off talking to her friends.
Rafe puts a firm hand on his shoulder, “Hey man.”
Brandon lets out a nervous laugh, “Hey there, Rafe Cameron, right?”
“Yeah, let’s keep this short. I better not see or hear you talking to my wife again, do you hear me? I don’t give a shit what happened.”
Rafe continues shortly, “And keep your fucking hands to yourself, if I find out you touched my either of my daughters again, I swear to God himself I’ll put you under.”
The two men are holding eye contact, one looks with confidence and borderline rage, while the other looks with fear.
Rafe walks down the bleachers, meeting you and your girls.
“You were amazing out there sweetheart!” Rafe smiles while pulling Stacy into a bear hug.
“Jesus dad, you’re crushing me!” Stacy laughs with a slight wheeze.
Rafe ruffles her hair and puts his arm around your neck.
“All good to go?”
You nod your head, and with that, the four of you begin to walk to Rafe’s parked car.
Rafe realizes that this isn’t the first time you’ve been hit on at a soccer game, or anywhere in fact. And this definitely won’t be the last.
Cause everybody’s in love with Stacy’s mom.
#lee’s writing! ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#outer banks#obx x reader#obx x you#outer banks imagine#Spotify
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whats this about the vacuum dust
Now I wonder if anyone who bought it has tried to huff the dust Or if they bought a ton to try using it as stuffing for those emery pincushions but instead of the usual strawberry it's an alastor nui
Have they tried marketing it as Alastor Branded Pocket Sand (but its vacuum dust)??? Would they do different flavors with different things mixed in? Like:
Nearby-the-Indoor-Bayou (has dead bugs crushed up and whole - dragonflies, damselflies, mosquitos, fireflies, etc mixed in like mixed nuts) flavor
Underneath-the-Bookshelf flavor (idk extra dusty???)
Dining-Table-Where-He-Chews-On-Raw-Venison-or-His-Victims-Bones (has bone crumbs? bone shavings or smth) flavor
Electronics-Hes-Crushed flavor (recommended for pocket sand purpose- probably would be sold out often for some reason)
Rust-From-His-Toolbox flavor (best seller for pocket sand purposes)
Exclusive! Limited Edition!! Radio-Tower-Vacuum-Dust (he probably keeps that place cleanest so it's not often that Niffty can get anything from there)
more notes/ideas in the tags too lazy to properly format them here (edit: ended up putting them here as screenshots since the others got cut off rip)
I think there is technically some ‘monetary’ gain from Alastor’s “patronage” of the hotel:
- he’s a (has-been) celebrity and he is using that to promote the hotel in its marketing to his established audience. Allegedly for free
Financially, he also uses his “skills” to save Charlie unnecessary expenses:
- plumbing, repairs, staff, administrative duties (assumption), catering (?)
- getting things done for “free”, aka pulling strings and limbs to avoid paying for tv air time
If Charlie had to pay for all these herself, the cost would be astronomical. Especially since the hotel is rent-free and run like a charity.
Alastor may not be making Charlie profit, but he is saving her money, which keeps their accounting in the black instead of red.
And then Lucifer showed up and demonstrated he can conjure anything 😂 I’d be salty on Charlie’s behalf too tbh
(referenced ask)
okay but like... these are all stuff alastor can actually proudly flex so he wouldn't have a problem with it (since he is voluntarily helping), now when it comes to husk niffty and angel dust making money off of alastor's room's fucking vacuum dust, lucifer taking art commissions containing sexy alastor drawings, niffty taking writing commissions for alastor x readers, that is when he loses his mind, especially when he finds out it's being sold to VOX of all people
#not caught up to the commission verse lore#just found out there was more#read the fic a while back while trying to fall asleep#good thing i forgot to check the tag back then#now theres a ton of posts to scroll through#lets gooooo#Lucifer's Commissions Saga#I think they could profit off of auctioning literally anything he's interacted with within the hotel#same with the others tbh#esp with Angel and Lucifer#but its funniest when its everyone having fun at his expense#imagine if they host a party at the hotel open to everyone to promote it#and one of the main events is auctioning the discarded wrappers from every time hes cooked for them at the hotels kitchen#auctioning literal trash#and then when that runs out they can probably auction pieces of paper that he barely even touched#he just walks up the stage#quickly flips through a stack of paper#and then hands it off to charlie who thanks him geniunely with tears in her eyes for his contributions#she'd be really proud for some reason yeah?#and then goes away maybe sulking in a corner with Rosie#hes just done with everything#Rosie would find this really funny too right?#surprised no one has done this irl yet#except for the paper one that one was funny considering#what if Niffty writes the commissioned fanfics on the paper he thumbed through#Limited edition fanfic on paper he had contact with#How much would they earn within a day#idk if its still in character but crack fic ideas lets gooo#okay now that ive slept its not as funny#edit: wearing dishwashing* gloves over his usual gloves
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Inspired by the moment in ACOSF when it’s mentioned Cassian likes physical contact. A fic where reader and cassian are besties and hanging all touchy, maybe reader is braiding his hair and the mating bond snaps.
Kindly requested to be tagged if written/published.
𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥, 𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞
pairing; cassian x fem!reader
warnings; porn with plot, basically just smut tbh but smut with FEELS (the best kind), p in v, oral (f!receiving), cassian is a sexy bitch
word count; 2.4k
a/n; dooo we want a p2 (and to find out what reader has planned...) i'm planning one in my head so if you guys are interested please let me know! @bxm-1012 enjoy!
Cassian shows love through touch- whether that be an affectionate squeeze, a kiss on the forehead or a playful shove; it's how he expresses love for the people around him.
You often take the brunt of this, being his best friend. You walk the streets of Velaris arm in arm, squeeze into one armchair that really isn't built to hold even Cassian alone, but somehow manages to fit the both of you, fall asleep on top of each other in a heap of skewed limbs after hours of partying and drinking and dancing at Rita's. You fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.
You're really not sure how you didn't see it earlier.
You're lounging in the aforementioned armchair when the bond snaps. Your legs are thrown over the arm and Cassian is settled in the centre, head to your chest as you scratch and tug at his shoulder-length hair, pulling it up into a braid. He tilts his head up, grinning at you through the dark lashes framing his eyes, and the whole world shifts on its axis.
Something stirs to life inside of you, a warmth blooming and spreading and seeping into your every pore; you can feel the way you're tethered to him, the gravitational pull between you.
You go stock still and your lips part in a silent gasp. Cassian's grin grows tenfold.
"You knew?"
"I suspected," he murmurs. He twists his body to face you. "I hoped."
"Oh," you breathe. You can't help it when your hand comes up to trace his cheekbones, the tip of your thumb skimming the bridge of his nose. His eyes fall closed and the bastard tugs on the bond so hard it emits a squeal from you, and you're pressing a palm to the centre of your chest to soothe the entirely unfamiliar feeling.
His mouth opens to break the silence but you're already moving, careening into his chest and burrowing yourself in tight. Your body sags with pure, uninhibited relief.
"You feel the same, then?" he teases.
Your eyes are glassy when you peel your face far enough to meet his stare.
"I always thought I'd have to make peace with it when you found your mate. I'd have to settle for loving you from a distance and that would be enough. As long as you're happy, I'm happy." He softens at the admission- your voice rasping and raw as you lay your feelings bare for him- hooking an arm beneath your own to drag you up his chest until you're nose to nose. "But I guess I can be selfish now, and keep you to myself," you whisper.
"Mm," he purrs, and the sound turns your core molten. "I like the sound of that."
He doesn't waste any more time before his mouth is on yours, lips slanting hungrily over your own; you part your lips in submission, granting him access to lick into your mouth, his tongue tangling with your own. He rises to tower over you until you're flattened against the curve of the chair, and plants his hands either side of your head to cage you in. His wings flare where they'd been previously tucked against his back. Your body goes involuntarily soft and pliable, heat prickling under your skin at his every touch. Instinct takes over- it's as if it's muscle memory. Giving yourself to him is as easy as breathing.
Your head swims at the feel of his body under your roaming hands, his scent that seems to shift from affection to something deeply primal and dominating. You urge him closer with a whine and a pathetic tug at his t-shirt. How has this man reduced you to a mess with no more than a kiss?
"Cass-" you gasp when his head turns and his mouth latches onto the sensitive spot beneath your ear; teeth sink into flesh and you have to bite your lip to conceal a wanton moan. "We-we should go somewhere... more private."
"Oh, don't stop on our account," comes Rhysand's amused drawl through the closed door. "We're vacating the premises as we speak."
A growl rips through Cassian and searing, unyielding need barrels to your core and pools there; it takes every ounce of willpower to not rut your hips against him and demand his clothes off that very instant.
"Sorry!" you squeak; as quickly as the word leaves your mouth, Cassian's smothering it with another eager kiss. You lose any semblance of control you were clinging to, a moan dragging its way from your chest and into his waiting mouth. A string of saliva stretches and bows between you when he lifts his head to look at your face.
"My mate," he purrs. "My beautiful mate."
Your eyes cloud when you gaze at him through half-lids, reaching down to grab the thick length of him and squeeze. His hips grind into your palm, something deep and almost terrifying loosing from the depths of his chest. It only serves to make your cunt drool.
"Wicked thing," he gasps. "Spiteful female."
You grin, wide and unabashed, before your hands grapple for purchase to tear at his clothes until his toned abdomen is revealed to you; you want to lick every inch of him.
"Desperate little creature, aren’t you?" he teases.
"Shut up!"
His eyes roll when you at last wrench his pants and underwear down his thick thighs, freeing his cock, hard and weeping and begging for your touch.
"Who’s desperate now?" Your brow quirks.
He echoes your sentiments, cadence deep and gravelly with lust. "Shut up."
Your snarking comments seem to loosen the tether he’s kept on his desire to hold you down and have his way with you, and you gasp when thick, calloused fingers curl their way around your windpipe; his fingertips are bruising against your jaw, tipping your head back to bare your soft throat for him. You go boneless in his grasp, eager to take whatever he gives you at whatever pace.
"So you do know how to behave," he muses, free hand coming between your bodies to paw at your clothes until they come away in ribbons, torn from your form and leaving you bare before him.
The first inch of him inside of you is a delicious stretch; your cunt parts and flares to make room for him. He pauses, and when he finds nothing but pure, unadulterated lust in your blown out pupils, he gives you the rest.
Slowly, agonisingly, he drags it out; moaning praises fill your ears as he grants you inch after inch of him until he's seated firmly to the hilt. His fingers are bound to leave bruises where they're curled around your waist.
You whine, fingernails digging cruelly into his sides. He’s so deep you’re sure you can feel him in your throat.
"Cassian."
"Fuck, sweet girl," he hisses. "Usually I’d take my time with you, work you up first until you’re crying. But I need you right now."
The breath is punched from your lungs as he sets a punishing pace; your spine curves and moulds to the arm of the chair when Cassian’s hands venture lower to cup the swells of your breasts. You feel his cock kick up inside of you when he catches sight of your pert nipples, hardening into buds at the exposure of the cool air and the feel of his hands brushing the sensitive beads.
"I’ll get my mouth on you later, baby."
You’d melt at the words if you weren’t already reduced to nothing more than mush from his dick alone. The thick girth of him splits you wide, nestling deep against spots you have yet to discover, pushing you further towards a precipice you’re almost terrified of— you’ve never experienced pleasure like this, to this degree. The insurmountable, unfathomable pressure builds until you’re coming with a scream, your body trembling around his own, cunt clamping down around him to suck him in further.
"There’s my girl," he coos, slowing inside of you to brush away the hair sticking to your slick face. "You’re perfect.”
You whine and cant your hips downward to rock yourself onto his cock, and the bellow that rips through him would have you flushing white-hot under any other circumstances; you’re too far gone to care, a shaking hand splaying against the ridges of his wing until he shudders under your touch. You moan at the sight.
"Now that’s just mean, baby."
You suck your bottom lip into your mouth, gaze flitting up to meet his own with a coy smile. He brushes a slow line with his knuckles against your cheekbone— a loving gesture that has your heart clenching as well as your pussy.
"I love you," he says. "I love you so much."
"I love you," you repeat his words as he smears a kiss between your pinched brows. His forehead presses to yours as his hips rut up into your own. Dewiness clings to every inch of your skin and your knuckles bleed of colour where you cling to Cassian.
He brings you to completion four more times before he reaches his own peak, and only when you're reduced to tears beneath him does he crawl the length of your body, lips grazing over the slick skin beneath him until he reaches your cunt once more.
"Cass-" you gasp; your voice comes out a broken, strangled jumble of noise and he grins wolfishly up at you before licking a broad, long stripe from your spasming hole to your clit. Your back arches and you're not sure whether it's towards or away from his touch, but he stops you short when his fingers curl around your ribcage to press you to the plush fabric of the armchair.
"Told you I'd get my mouth on you, didn't I?"
Everything is simultaneously too much and not enough, and you're torn between grinding down into his mouth and shying away. Pleasure licks white-hot up your spine and you writhe against his bruising hold on your hips when the stubble on his chin scratches against your sensitive bundle of nerves. It's red and angry, swollen from Cassian's undivided attention, and it has tears gathering at your waterline once more. Your eyes are glassy and half lidded and he reaches up to brush the tip of his thumb against your cheek, his head never coming up from between your thighs.
Your skin sheens under the soft lights of the living room, sweat beading across the crown of your skull and your temples; you whine and thrash beneath him until your muscles seize and go taut like a bowstring, and pleasure drags you under once again. You're screaming - comes the dazed realisation - and your chest heaves as Cassian works you through it, offering up sweet praises for your orgasm. He smiles as if he hasn't just given you the best sex of your life.
You're utterly limp, boneless in his firm hold when he lifts your body to cradle you to his naked chest. The bridge of his nose presses into the softness of your cheek, skin rubbing against skin where he nuzzles into you.
"That was fucking amazing," you breathe with a laugh. "We should do that again."
"Mm," he hums. "Don't tempt me."
You giggle, pressing your face closer to his; everything about him intoxicates you: his smell, the feel of him under your hands, the dominating rasp of his cadence.
"We have something else to do first."
"What?" he asks, visibly deflating when you push yourself up on wobbling legs; your knees almost give out instantly. You can feel his smirk forming, burning into your naked form.
"Don't. Say. Anything," you grit. Your fingers brush the carpet when you bend to grasp a slip of fabric, and you quirk a brow at your sheepish mate. "My clothes, Cass!"
"I'll get you some more. Anything you want," he immediately says, watching you through half-lidded eyes. The love swirling in his irises almost has you staggering.
"While I appreciate that..." You lean down to press your lips against his, only pulling back to rest your brow against his own. "That doesn't solve my problem right now."
He snorts. "I like you naked. Maybe you should never wear clothes again."
"I'm not sure anyone would approve of that but you." Your smile is devilish. "Maybe I could distract a few High Lords at the next meeting..."
His teeth bare, a low warning growl reverberating through your very bones. You laugh, light and airy, and Cassian's sure you're heaven sent even as you send red-hot fury roiling through his veins.
"I'm sorry," you trill. "That was mean." You snag his own t-shirt, still predominantly in one piece, and slip it over your head; it lays against your mid-thighs and the scent of him cloys in your nostrils. "C'mon." You beckon him up with an outstretched hand, wiggling your fingers until he stands and slips his fingers between your own. A smirk pulls at the corners of your mouth. "Um, darling?" A pointed gaze has him grinning in return, clasping his chest in faux disappointment.
"I thought you liked me naked!"
"Oh, I do," you muse. "I'd just like to not scar everybody else in this house for life."
"It'd hardly be an unpleasant sight-"
"Yes, but I'm sure everyone would prefer it if I didn't try to kill them for looking." Your smile oozes saccharine, and then you're nudging him towards where his underwear lays discarded on the carpet. He pulls the material up and over his thick thighs and then he's back by your side in an instant; you preen under his adoring touch, pushing into the hands that slip underneath your shirt to grope at your bare skin.
"C'mon," you repeat, begrudgingly denying yourself the pleasure of sinking into his arms for another round of slow sex. "We need to do this first." You press your lips to the corner of his mouth. "Mate."
#cassian fic#cassian imagine#cassian x reader#acotar cassian#cassian#acotar fanfiction#acotar#acotar x you#acotar x y/n#acotar x reader#cassian x y/n#cassian x you#cassian acotar#acotar fluff#acotar fic#cassian smut#cassian fluff#writer#writers on tumblr#writing#writing for fun#writing for myself#smut writing#fluff writing#smut with plot#smut with feelings
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MRS TELEVISION | a. frederick
summary: a scroll through your internet presence as 'mrs television'. [social media AU.]
pairing: fem!reader x arthur frederick (arthurtv)
faceclaim: bri kerr
notes: first piece for mrs television out of the wag universe. bri is gonna be the main fc I use for mrs television, hopefully you like it!
liked by arthurtv, arthurfhill and 1,129 others
yourinstagram helped out on someone else's video for once, chris finally let me leave the dungeon!!!
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user she kills me
user hottest producer award goes to...
chrismd_10 drinking on the job?
yourinstagram constantly
user she looks peppered in the 3rd slide
user first risky pic from y/n ever on the 6th slide
georgeclarkey thanks for the candid of me and my man 😌😌
arthurtv please someone get him away from me
user y/n's friend is inhaling that guinness 🫢
arthurtv great photography for the 1st and 3rd pictures, big fan!
yourinstagram humble as ever mr television
liked by georgeclarkey, wroetoshaw and 1,398 others
yourinstagram lots of fun at work recently, constantly mixing business and pleasure 🥂 chrismd thanks for keeping me employed even if I drink at work
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user I can't tell if shes joking about drinking at work 😭
user its definitely a joke, most bts has y/n yelling at chris to pull his head in lol
user she keeps him in line!
yourinstagram have been going on 15 years
user we thank you for your service 🫡
arthurtv no jerseys at the match???
yourinstagram the nerve!
chrismd_10 who's that handsome fella in the last slide?
miniminter leave the md clutches and come to sidemen
yourinstagram throw in talia and you have a deal
georgeclarkey you drunk
yourinstagram seems to be the new normal now, just embracing my new brand (like you and your Invisalign ads)
georgeclarkey too far
liked by callux, arthurtv and 1,781 others
yourinstagram more of a traveller atm than a producer! enjoyed spain very very much, definitely swipe to the 8th slide to see what arthur classifies as a front flip
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arthurtv it's called being flexible, you wouldn't know anything about it
yourinstagram your six-year-old sister does a better front flip than you
arthurtv leave flora out of this
user guys stop flirting in front of us 😭😭 the false hope hurts
georgeclarkey always appreciate meeting a fan
yourinstagram die
calfreezy that photo was sacred y/n
chrismd_10 I feel ashamed, embarrassed
willne the absolute cheek
user why is no one talking about how good y/n looks in these pictures??
faithlouisak Im thinking the same thing?
user literal island princess
user is that danny aarons in the 5th picture 😭😭
yourinstagram dont even ask how he got the invite
chrismd_10 we're still not sure tbh
liked by callux, arthurtv and 1,901 others
yourinstagram filmed a very *cool* video this week 🌨️
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arthurtv again, who is your photographer???? such raw talent is exquisite
yourinstagram im very close to letting him go actually, you can have him!
user arthur being the first to comment on her posts fuels my mrs television heart really, give us something guys
user I love them at my core I can't lie
user she is just so pretty
chrismd_10 get back to work
yourinstagram I literally just want to breathe chris
user someone make chris let y/n go, she needs to be a free woman
bezhinga faiths phone is dead but she says 'u look leng'
yourinstagram I love you faith kelly x
liked by callux, arthurtv and 2,193 others
yourinstagram very good friends! (happy one year doofus)
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user A WHOLE ASS YEAR???????
user who even are they????????
user I feel like I have been swindled here miss l/n
user can we finally call her mrs television??? shes more than chris' producer now, she's one of us
arthurtv best friends for life! (I love you very much)
user I can't tell if im going to cry or faint tbh
user why is he always playing chess, arthur PLEASE
yourinstagram I'm asking this question all the time?
chrismd_10 I take credit for this relationship btw
yourinstagram how so?
chrismd_10 if I hadn't sat with arthur in class and then dragged you into our group project, I like to think this wouldn't have happened
georgeclarkey I love all of the fans so much but please stop sending me these pictures of my fiancé wrapped around another woman
user GEORGE PLEASE
#arthurtv x reader#arthurtv#arthur frederick#arthur frederick x reader#arthurtv imagines#arthurtv fluff#cel's social media aus
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Hiii i love ur work so i wanted to request smth 🫶
Them with a s/o who is very short lol (like 5'0")
I would appreciate it if you could do this with rin, sae, yoichi and kaiser!!
Have a good day 🩷
Short s/o – rin, sae, yoichi, kaiser, hiori
m.list | rules
note: hiii thank you sm for your request <3 that’s basically my height so I know very much what it’s like
Rin
he doesn’t pay much attention at first, he’s not with you because of your height
but as time goes, he can get used to rest his head on top of yours
also pass his arm around your shoulders to bring him to him if necessary – he’s always kind of shy when your head hit his chest
loves it a lot when you sit between his legs to watch a movie because he can have you close and never worry about not seeing it well
you’ll only get confession about him liking it when it’s really late, sleep is already heavy on his eyes and he pulls you closer
you feel minuscule against his body and he’ll confess how down bad he is for you because you’re so small and cute, it pains him
never mention it tho, he’ll get sulky
Sae
acts normal about it but always hold your hand in the crowd because he’s scared to lose you
also scared to lose you in huge store so he just tag along – if you wear one particular piece that is colorful he’ll look for that instead
he once scold you because he lost you, but not before holding you close or kissing your forehead after checking you were alright
your forehead is were he kiss you the most in fact ‘cause it’s so easy access, it’s asking for it
hold you close to him when you sleep because, 1 he has to keep you warm, and 2 you’re so small he feels like he had to make sure nothing happens to you
deep down he’s down bad for it but doesn’t show it much and acts like he doesn’t care
he still put stuff on the top shelf sometimes for you to ask him for help
he got tricked a few times in fact because you just got on the furniture to get it yourself
his beige flag is that he manhandle you when you annoy him on purpose
Isagi
he’s the cutest ever I know that for sure
he’s afraid to offend you at first I think but he’s honest and tell you very quickly how cute you are, being so small
it never really stopped after that, even before you started dating he kept on telling you that you were cute
same as rin, he loooves to lay his head on top of yours
he bend to look at things with you but in a respectful, cute, head over heels for you way
holds you all the time when you’re home with him
hold him for behind, nuzzle your nose between his shoulders and he’s on his knees crying about how cute you are
fake crying about it sometimes (my gf does that)
he knows that not your whole personality but damn that’s still very cool to him to have a small s/o
Kaiser
he rest his arms on your head or shoulder to bother you all the time tbh
he’s annoying for sure but at the same time he’s probably whipped for you bc you’re so SMALL
he can grab you all the time so easily
the way you hit on his chest at best and your head rest on his arms when you’re tired and need to recharge
he loves to hold you to his chest in general
grab your chin up to kiss you or force you to go on tip toes to be able to kiss him
but also tells everyone you’re the cutest human being
he can’t help but melt if you pull his shirt or sleeve to kiss his cheeks or lips
you’ll catch him blush more than you might expected
he’s the type to tell you that you’re cute to tease you and see you blush
Hiori
he has a whole album on his phone dedicated to pictures you looks small, you know like those type of pictures for kpop idol
when you’re laying on a bed, rolled into a ball or if you’re standing a certain way and he founds you so cute
he can’t help but giggle every times and snap a picture
you’re totally aware of it the second he laugh that way and you ended up whining at him
probably the less shy after kaiser to tell you that he finds you cute
he wants to hold you close all the time I think, he’s in love with how small you feel against him
lays his head on your shoulder if he catches someone staring at you or if they’re flirting with you
but also does this to simply check what you’re looking at on your phone or read before your shoulder with you
I hope you liked it !
#blue lock x reader#blue lock headcanons#blue lock fluff#blue lock hc#bllk x reader#bllk headcanons#bllk hcs#bllk fluff#blue lock#bllk#isagi x reader#isagi headcanons#isagi fluff#rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#rin hcs#sae x reader#sae headcanons#sae itoshi x reader#kaiser x reader#kaiser fluff#kaiser hcs#hiori x reader#hiori yo x reader#hiori headcanons#hiori fluff
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This post is gonna be a bit lazy ik i can find more stuff but ima sleep soon. So here are some low cal sweet stuff!!!
I bet you guys already know about fiber one. Theyre so good tho, 70 cals per brownie. They also have donuts 100 cals each. They have bars too that go from 70-90+
I’VE TRIED THESE THEYRE SO GOOD AND PRETTY BIG AND LIKE?? IK YOU GUYS SEE THAT.
These are sugar free but i can’t even imagine if they had sugar bc these are already so sweet! And yummy straight up tastes like vanilla and tbh, the cals are chill bc 12 is a lot since theyre pretty sweet
Dude i HAVE to try this bc??? I LOVE chocolate it’s my downfall, and 1/3 bar is only 60 cals???
Serving size is 20g, never had these or even knew about these but 🤔
You might already know about Diana’s frozen banana chocolate bites/ the frozen chocolate dipped banana. The bites are 80 cals for 3 (32g) and the banana is 130 (about 65g). But this one is 100 per 2 pieces (25g). The dianas bites are lowkey small, the banana is a reasonable size i have no idea about this one but🤷♀️
YOO I FW THESE HEAVYYY THEYRE SO YUMMYYY A PACK IS 90 WHICH IS LIKE, EHHH. BUT THIS FLAVOR ESPECIALLY I’VE ONLY TRIED THIS ONE, CINNAMON, AND COOKIES N CREAM BUT THIS ONE>>>
DUDEE!! I NEED to try these, this one specifically is 100 cals per 25 pieces!! They have peach rings that come in a bag it says 100 cals, idk how much it is individually but im guessing around the same amount. AND THEY HAVE GUMMY WORMSSS. 110 per bag, the bags are 50g. Trolli gummy worms are 100 cals for 8 pieces in a 32g bag. HUGE difference tbh.
AHHH THEY DONT LET ME ADD MORE PICS SO I’LL JUST WRITE.
Catalina Crunch keto friendly sandwich cookies (fake oreos lol), they have a few different flavors but the vanilla one is 90 cals for 2 cookies, i tried the mint one and it was actually rlly good, so🤷♀️
Clio mini greek yogurt bars with chocolate coating is 70 cals for the vanilla flavor, they also have more. Never tried but looks chill
Yo how did i not know sugar free reeces mini cups are 110 cals for 3 pieces, but quest also has their own version for 150 cals per 4 pieces, so they’re basically the same amount per piece but quest has protein, quest also has their own reeces cups for 190/200 per cup, whereas reeces have like 230. Idk a little goes a long way for me
I believe that’s all i can think of rn. SLEEPTIME GOODNIGHT!!
#@ed#@n@ blog#@n@ diet#@n@ tips#@n@ trigger#@n@ vent#@na motivation#@na rant#tw ana bløg#3d not sheeran#low calorie meals#low cal meal#@n@ meal#@na meal#low cal restriction#low cal diet#low cal food#tw ed ana#an@ tips#anadiet#a4a diet#3d diary#diet#€d diary#weight loss diet#@anablog#@na blog#@na shit#@n@ rant#tw @na
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Dirty Alphabet
Pairing: Zoro x female reader
*banner*
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
This man is a total sleepyhead but unless you really need something then he’ll get it for you but he’ll definitely tease you that he fucked you so good your legs don’t work
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
I can see him as a tits man, just when you think he’s dozing off he’s sneaking a peek any chance he gets. Sanji isn’t the only one that can appreciate a good rack. His favorite body part on him is his hands for being able to hold his swords and you, hidden romantic at heart
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Loves making a mess on you for sure, will even smear his cum all around and taunt you on how messy you are
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Wants to see you grind on his swords. The thought of you making his sheaths all shiny with your pretty juices makes his cock rock solid but he doesn’t want to freak you out so he just uses that fantasy to jerk off. If you asked him though by some rare chance that you might also have the same kink then don't be shocked by how fast he says yes
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
That man is a sexy ass living piece of art. I'm sure he has some experience but I don't think he’s good at being the one to initiate.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Anything with a view of your tits to watch them jiggle and bounce. Needing to be close to them so he can suck and lick them, marking them for when you wear low cut tops
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Nah I can’t see him cracking to many jokes but I see him being a total tease
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He don’t have time to shave or trim he’s to busy training or napping
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Being on the same ship as that ‘dumb cook’ makes you learn a thing or two so I can see him bringing flowers but not saying anything sweet, just handing you some and looking off to the side. Lighting a few candles cause he likes seeing the light flicker off of your body as you’re bouncing on his cock.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Tbh for him it would be a training exercise, like building arm strength and stamina. But also to blow off some mental steam
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Loves dirty talk, he might not be good at romantic words but best believe he’ll have your panties off in a second with the way he can rile you up.
Wrestling kink lol ask him to wrestle or even say that you can pin him down and that man will go absolutely wild just to pin you down underneath him
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Wherever he trains the most is were he’s gonna want to fuck you the most. It’s his safe space and wrecking you in it just sounds like a perfect plan
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Your tits, and if you’re a brat who doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut he’s on go lol Zoro loves a challenge and being with a brat that can hold her own is all the fuel to his fire that he needs
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Having a threesome with the cook is a no go lol the stories are hot but realistically I can’t see it happening unless it’s to show you that he can fuck you better but sharing you in a relationship is a no.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Loves giving it’s a workout for him. With his fighting style there’s no way that he wouldn’t want to absolutely wreck you with his tongue. As for receiving I can see him being obsessed with the 69 position or even reverse 69 so he can fuck your face and eat you at the same time
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Mix of both for sure
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Yup it’s another form of training lol but you have to be the one to bug him about it or he’ll just tease you
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Public sex in the crow’s nest I can totally see happening while he whispers that you better keep it down before someone hears
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He doesn’t train everyday for nothing so best believe this green haired hottie can outlast you
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Don’t insult the man lol He is the toy lol but like his bandana though will definitely find it’s way into a few of your sex sessions
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
The meanest but you love it , he lives to tease you every chance he gets
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Dirty talkkkerrrrr!!! The sexiest raspy moans and groans ever, kissing along your neck so his deep voice just vibrates against your skin making you melt in the palm of his hands.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Loves making you squirm and brat taming you. If you happen to be an obedient chick then I can see him trying to pick a fight just to make you moody so he can fuck the attitude out of you
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Thick, veiny, long all the traits you can want in a dick just saying lol
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Pretty high but he also loves loves sleep so its a always a battle of the too lol
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Unless you need something that man will hit the snooze button immediately but he’ll make sure that he doesn’t crush you if he happened to be on top lol
#roronoa zoro x you#roronoa zoro smut#roronoa zoro x reader#roronoa zoro#zoro roronoa x reader#zoro smut#one piece zoro#zoro x reader#zoro one piece#zoro one piece smut#one piece smut#one piece headcanons#one piece smut Headcannons#zoro headcanons#honeys works 🍯
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Season 1 Mike Wheeler Queer-coding
Just some of my favourite pieces of queer-coded Mike evidence that I have found from season 1. Let me know if you have never seen these before because I'd love to add to the conversation <33
My overall conclusion from season 1 is: Mike gets taught that being queer/ not liking girls is dangerous. It means you die/ disappear. Being 'normal' or straight is therefore easier. Take this conclusion in mind as you read this.
Disclaimer: This is just my opinion. If you want to interact with this post because you disagree with me, please be respectful.
(Yes I will be doing all the other seasons at some point but it will take a while because this one took me a WEEK)
1. Ted's Comments
Take these with a grain of salt, because when I watched the show again I was a little unsure of whether these are actually implicitly homophobic or due to other things.
So here Ted says 'see Michael, you see what happens?' after Nancy storms off and goes to her room. This could be in relation to Mike shouting at Nancy earlier and that's why he's scolding him a little, but also Mike was talking about how it isn't Will's fault that he's gone missing. It's also kind of established that adults in the town think that Will is gay (more on that later) and was hatecrimed, so Ted could be referencing that.
It's also notable that Mike thinks his dad is talking about Will's disappearance because he then says 'what happens when what? i'm the only one acting normal here. i'm the only one who cares about will.'
So I think it's pretty clear what he's insinuating here. He didn't want to explicitly say 'see what happens when you're not like everyone else' but you can tell. And why would this be said to Mike in relation to Will's disappearance if not for queer-coding? Even early on in the show, Mike could associate being queer with going missing.
Ted, later on in the season, says 'our son? with a girl?' which tbh i thought could be because he's a nerd and only likes hanging out with his friends.
But now that I'm thinking about it, they also say that kind of stuff about Will in season 3. And people on twitter who were against Will's queer-coding before season 4 figured that a lot of the reason people called him slurs was because of him being shy/ stereotyped/ a nerd/ sensitive. But it was confirmed after season 4 that the slurs were queer-coding aka we were right. So the same could easily be said for Mike in this situation.
2. The 'Talk' tm
We've all seen a lot of people talk about this, but I have a teensy bit more to add onto what others have said already because it's sort of funny.
This scene is different to both Karen and the audience. To Karen, she's basically asking Mike if he's feeling particularly sad about Will being missing because of reasons. But to the audience, and Mike, this is a moment for him to be worried about the fact he's hiding El in his closet.
Karen says: 'with all this that's been going on, with Will, i can't imagine what it's been like for you. i just-- want you to feel like you can talk to me. i never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. i'm here for you. okay?'
This feels like something Joyce will say to Will in season 5 LMAO like-
If you aren't queer, you will never understand how obvious this is that it's a gay talk. The word 'hide' is so often used in these situations. What is she insinuating? I understand that the 'i want you to feel like you can talk to me' might just be about Mike's sadness, but the emphasis on 'hide anything' is crazy. Also this is about Will and nothing else because at the beginning she pointedly says, 'with Will'. She's basically insinuating there's something different about Mike's relationship/friendship with Will.
What she could also be insinuating is that she thinks that Will's disappearance had something to do with him being queer, (which is rumoured about). She then applies this same logic to Mike. She may be thinking 'oh if Will didn't feel safe about being queer, I'd better let Mike know he is safe.' -- This could be far-fetched though.
Okay so what is very interesting is that El's in Mike's closet at this time. There are multiple reasons for the directors to put her in there: One, to show a flashback from when she's in the lab, and Two, for her to be in the closet during the queer-coded conversation.
Here's why: RIGHT AFTER KAREN SAYS ALL THE HIDING STUFF, THERE'S A SOUND FROM MIKE'S CLOSET......
Walk with me here folks... To the audience, this is funny because Mike is hiding something. He's hiding El. But. Also the sound came from his closet. He's hiding the fact he's in the closet-- *gunshots*. Double meanings exist i swearr
3. Lucas's Teasing
This whole scene is so interesting to me. I used to ignore it because it's possible Mike and El proof but...
It reinforces the heteronormativity of Mike and could even feed into how he acts in his relationship with her. First of all, Lucas tells Mike that just because he is being nice to a girl he must want to marry her and love her right?
This could be a 'Mike could like El' scene, but no. Mike is literally like, 'Lucas what are you talking about?' HE IS CONFUSED. He's also fed-up, he's not embarrassed. He's not flustered. He's not like 'omg shut up hahaha' he literally bluntly says 'shut up Lucas' in this voice that sounds kind of tired.
What Mike learns here is that being with a girl is kind of expected. He's not allowed to be friends with a girl or care for a girl without people assuming they're a thing.
This leads perfectly onto the next point.....
4. Bullies' Homophobic Comments Exhibit A
Straight after learning that Lucas assumed he had heterosexual feelings for El, Mike learns that being gay is a 'bad thing'.
These comments could just be coding for Will, sure, but there are indications that it could be Mike queer-coding as well.
First of all, 'He's dead, that's what my dad says. Probably killed by some other queer', is a very weighted comment. The fact that Troy's dad said this to him implies that Will's sexuality is like a rumour amongst adults in the town. It's also the show portraying how hate like homophobia can be taught from parents.
Mike's then the one to be like 'just ignore them' and goes to walk away. SPECIFICALLY IT IS HIM THAT IS TRIPPED. I REPEAT!!! HE IS TRIPPED NO ONE ELSE.
This could imply that the bullies were targeting him as well as Will for homophobic bullying, maybe in the past as well, and the 'killed by some other queer' comment could be directed at him. I guess you could say that he was tripped because he was the nearest person, or that he was the one speaking, but the directors chose him to be the one walking there. And SPEAKING. Why??
So: Mike has just learnt from Lucas that being nice to a girl can be seen as attraction and means he has to love her. THEN Mike has just learnt from the bullies that maybe Will died because he was gay, and that being gay gets you hurt (tripped over).
Mike is given a choice between the lesser of two evils: choose to fit into a heteronormative society but get made fun of Lucas, or embrace being gay and get killed/ bullied like Will.
Later on in the season, he finds out Will has died. Let me repeat that. He. Believes. Will. Has. Died. Would this maybe reinforce what the bullies said? That being gay = disappearance. Oh poor MIKE OMGGG
Queer coding all up in this scene lads. (+ a reason for internalised homophobia uwu)
5. Bullies' Homophobic Comments Exhibit B
This scene and the previous scene are inherently linked.
Mike is the one to confront the bullies about Will, defending him, so the bullies instantly resort to homophobia. This means that they may be implying that Mike trying to defend someone who they view as gay is also gay.
In the last scene, I guess you could say that the comments weren't particularly targeted at Mike as well as Will because he wasn't at the forefront of the group (even though he was tripped over). But in this scene he definitely is. They chose to utilise homophobic language about Will because they know it touches a nerve with Mike: This homophobic language doesn't just affect the person they are talking about but also the person they are saying it to.
So here's what they say: 'Besides, what's there to be sad about anyway? Will's in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies, all happy and gay.'
The words that Troy is saying here are obviously more linked to how Will is queer-coded throughout season 1, but the way that the scene is shot, the music, the implications, they're all coding for Mike.
'Will's in fairyland now, right?' is posed as a question. They didn't have to make it a question, but they did. This is basically them saying 'oh we've told you this before, shouldn't you know?'/ implying that Mike would know because he's also gay.
Another line they didn't have to include unless it was queer-coding for Mike is: 'Flying around with all the other little fairies.' They could have just written Troy to say 'Will's in fairyland now. All happy and gay,' or something along those lines etc. The jab at Mike is that other gay people exist, and that Will is being gay 'with them'. The words 'all happy and gay' here doesn't actually imply Will's sexuality by itself, but the act of 'being gay together' or in a gay relationship so to speak.
So if you put the pieces together, they're making a point about Mike and Will's friendship in a sense. Also the fact that Troy at the beginning of this insult says 'What's there to be sad about anyway?', basically means that he's trying to get under Mike's skin by saying 'Why are you sad that Will's happy and being gay with other boys? Are you sad he's not with you?' I know that's like, on the nose, but whatever.
(Also Mike has tears in his eyes during this part showing how the words are also affecting him and not just Will)
Another thing I want to talk about is the music. Obviously this music is foreboding and is trying very hard to make the audience uncomfortable, trying to let you know that something bad is going to happen. When Troy walks away, the music swells and the camera zooms in on Mike's angry expression.
Then, Mike pushes troy over for the homophobic comment. This is interesting why? Because Troy tripped Mike over in the previous scene I talked about. Meaning: the scenes are linked. Troy was being homophobic to both Mike and Will. Mike's had enough, so he retaliates in the same way that Troy had treated him earlier.
I'd also like to add that before El saves Mike, he just stands there as Troy stands up and says 'You're dead Wheeler, you're dead.' He was ready to take whatever Troy was going to throw at him. Which is interesting because in the previous scene I talked about, Troy spoke about how being 'queer' means you'll get killed. ('He's dead. That's what my dad thinks, probably killed by some other queer.') So Troy is going to kill Mike, just like how Will is dead too.
A lot has happened between the previous scene and this one. Mike thought Will had died. Yes, during the assembly scene, he doesn't believe it anymore, but he watched Will's body being dragged out the water just recently. Just like in the scene where he jumps into the quarry, this is yet another instance of Mike not caring if he gets hurt in regards to bullying/ Will.
6. More Lucas Comments
"Screw you Mike! You're blind, blind because you like that a girl's not grossed out by you! But wake up, man. Wake the hell up!" (btw I'm not saying that Lucas is being homophobic here, they're little kids and they've been through a lot)
I mean, come on. This basically implies the classic compulsive heterosexuality concept of Mike choosing which girl to have a crush on because she's the easiest option, since she didn't know him growing up or didn't go to the same school together. Even if this isn't accurate, it is still coding because they wrote Lucas to say that jab at him, it hurts Mike inside, because he knows deep down it's at least a little true.
He looks saddened by this, not angry. Mike usually gets annoyed much quicker than this and whenever he's insulted he looks shocked or has a scowl on his face, but here he just looks... sad. Because he knows that Lucas is touching a nerve. (The top pic btw)
He's completely silent. Until, of course, Lucas starts talking about Will:
'She knows where Will is. And now, she's just letting him die in the Upside Down.'
'Shut up!' -- Mike suddenly shouts either because a) he doesn't like that Lucas is insulting El or something OR b) he hates that Lucas is implying that it is his fault that Will is dying in the upside down because he's being blinded by the fact El isn't grossed out by him.
I think it's B tbh <3 (this scene isn't toooo important for my overall conclusion but it's a little nugget of info i guess)
7. Mike Jumps Into the Quarry
Let's be honest here, before this scene, almost everything seems hopeless for Mike finding Will. Firstly, he physically saw Will's 'body' being dragged out of the same water that he's about to jump into. Then he found out he was still alive but somewhere extremely dangerous and he could be dying there for all he knew. Then his one hope at finding Will (Eleven) is gone and he can't find her ("She's a weapon!... We're no use to Will if we're dead!") and Lucas won't agree to help him find her.
This scene was foreshadowed earlier on, making it a very important scene anyways -- Hopper said that no one would survive the jump and the water 'turns into cement, hits you like a tonne of bricks'. Mike would have died if El didn't save him. And he seemed okay with it.
The camera focuses in on him, and if you listen closely, you can hear his heartbeat. You could say that he's only really doing this to save his friend, but like, why is he so willing and why did they so pointedly zoom in on him?
Here's where we get a little serious: Mike would have committed suicide if El wasn't there at the last second. He would have died in the same place where Will's body was discovered.
Quotes about how being gay gets you killed:
'See Michael? You see what happens?' --Meaning: What happens when you're gay? You disappear.
'He's dead, that's what my dad says. Probably killed by some other queer' -- Meaning: Being gay gets you killed/ means you should die.
'Besides, what's there to be sad about anyway? Will's in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies, all happy and gay.' -- Meaning: Will's dead along with all the other gay people, that's where they should be etc.
'You're dead Wheeler, you're dead.' -- Meaning: Mike you should die too, because you're just like Will, and you should join him in 'fairyland'.
(from this scene) 'Jump [into the Quarry].' -- Meaning: Mike you should die just like I told you earlier and in the same place that Will died. (Honestly I believe the whole town now think that Will is dead and his body was found in the quarry, so Troy would know too and use it against Mike.)
Then, after Mike survives this queer-coded death (which can be paralleled to Will's hypothetical death because it's in the same place), he says to the girl that he cares about and has been presumed to 'like' by his friends: 'You saved me. You saved me.'
(just wanna note that i think that is a very sweet scene and doesn't just have to be all about Mike's queer-coding. it's a bond between the party as friends because Dustin also hugs El. But still.)
You tell me what this scene means then.
8. Mike wasn't Lying (Theory)
Okay so this is more of just a theory than queer-coding, because there is something about this scene that I just find... weird.
I personally think that this scene with both Nancy and Mike talking about their so-called 'crushes' is meant to be so you can see the difference between someone who is lying and someone who is telling the truth. Their reactions to the questions are very different to each other (although it could just be a difference in their characters).
Mike: 'Do you like Jonathan now?'
Nancy: 'What?' *looks to the side, fighting a smile* 'No... no, it's not- It's not like that.' -- She's clearly lying because she's being vague, looking to the side, stuttering over her words etc. However, Mike nods like he believes her. This is key for later.
Nancy: 'Do you like Eleven?'
Mike: 'What? No. Ew. Gross.' *looks her up and down in disgust* -- Telling the truth because he stares at Nancy, doesn't stutter over his words and is very direct.
The fact that these reactions are so different (and we know that Nancy likes Jonathan lets be real) is purposeful in my opinion. It shows that at this point, Mike doesn't like insinuation that he likes her in that way.
Something else that happens later in the episode is also quite interesting to me, which further points to Mike 'telling the truth', which is that Mike thought his and Nancy's conversation was mutually truthful.
Why? Because he was completely confused when Lucas says that her and Jonathan are romantically involved later:
Mike: 'They're gone. Nancy and Jonathan. His car's gone.'
Lucas: 'They're probably just sucking face somewhere.'
Mike: 'What? No. No way.' -- Clearly showing that maybe he thought that Nancy was being truthful, meaning he thought their exchange was mutually truthful.
This seems a bit far-fetched but... something to think about.
Btw, I was going to talk about how the First Kiss between Mike and El is queer-coded, but tbh, it's more like... weird. Because they're 12/11 years old and El literally has no idea what a kiss is and they have this exchange about being brother and sister (ew). Then Mike kind of says 'oh i want to go to the snow ball with you, but not if you're my sister', just gives me vibe that he's just doing what he thinks is normal as a result of what others say. But that's it, not much else to say abt it really (also im tired of writing this post ive been doing it for so long <3)
In conclusion: Mike gets taught that being queer/ not liking girls is dangerous. It means you die/ disappear. Being 'normal' or straight is therefore easier. He internalises this for a while poor child <3
Thanks for reading!!! I love you <33 Let me know if you have anything you want to add or if you have contradictions idk byeeee
#byler#byler endgame#mike wheeler#byler nation#stranger things#byler evidence#byler proof#mike wheeler is gay#mike wheeler i know what you are#stranger things analysis
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How do you overcome something as powerful
as sin?
More below the cut, including old art this is a redraw of.
Tmom has been part of my life for a very long time, and few fan comics have been able to capture my interest as much as it has. (More than likely my angst enjoying ahh speaking there tbh.) But it's genuinely helped me a lot, especially when I was younger.
Tmom was something I could look at and say "yeah, life is shit, and there's very little to find joy in, but hey, these three are managing to to it and they're going through The Horrors too." There's something very weirdly comforting about the themes of loss and grief present in the comic, which are things I find myself grappling onto as someone who has a hard time letting go of people. It's something to look forwards to.
Everything I care about may be gone one day, but there's always going to be new people out there. New bonds and relationships that I may just stumble into completely on accident. It might hurt, and I may never be the same again, but I'll be okay.
I'm infamously not very eloquent when I'm rambling, so I'll stop there. As promised, this was the original piece I drew back in 2017. I remember distinctly sending it to the old Zielo Cave Discord server (back before the "Zielo Cave" name had even been implemented? I think?) It's wild seeing the difference 7 years has made regarding my art.
My heart goes out to Gigi, and I wish them all the best. Thank you for sharing your creation with the world. ❤️
#my art#tmom#the murder of me#sonic fan comic#sth fanart#sth fandom#sth au#sonic au#ramblings#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#sth
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For Science!
Pairing: Hobie Brown x Reader/ Spider-Punk x Vampire! Reader
Word Count: 1.8k
Tags: Cursing, blood drinking, blood, lovesick hobie, lovesick reader, cuddling, implied kink(just one mention of it really, it's not even fully there tbh), no physical description of reader, reader is AFAB, (In the Pursuit of Blood reverse au kinda, if you really think about it)
Summary: Your boyfriend has always been curious about your vampiric powers. But there's one question he's been refraining himself from asking.
A/N: Credits for the lovely banners go to @the-shroom-garden !!! Second piece for week 4 of Octobie @the-kr8tor , let's go!!! I'll probably have my third final piece done later this week, idk. I've been on a roll, so there might be a fourth if i can write fast enough💪
“You fuckin’ with me, lovie?”
“No, Hobes. I really can turn into a bat. As well as a swarm of them, but that's besides the point.” You can't help the smile that flits across your face as he gestures to you with open arms and grabby hands. A clear indication that he's waiting for you to do just that, turn into a bat. Hobie knows the sparkle in his eyes is giving away just how excited he is to see you turn and he won't lie about how much he's dying to hold you when you do.
Shaking your head, you let out a playful sigh and place a hand on your forehead, as if you're winded. Turning around, you fall back into your boyfriend's awaiting arms, only for a small cloud of black shimmering mist to appear with a poof when he moves to wrap his arms around you. Hobie's eyes widen in shock as the mist subsides, an excited, lopsided grin on his lips as he peers down at you in his hands. A fuzzy bat about the size of his forearm with fur the same color of your hair. He has to reign in the urge to squish your little cheeks when you peer up at him with big red eyes, so cute and utterly adorable. Not at all good for his heart, he supposes. And when your little bat tongue comes out as you yawn, he goes “Fuck it” and squishes your cheeks between his thumb and index finger.
“Look at you… Too cute, darlin’. I'm gonna have a heart attack, swear”, Hobie coos softly as his other hand comes up to pet at your large ears, dopey smile lighting up his features.
You let out an irritated squeak of protest from the smothering of your cheeks and shake your head free from his fingers. With a small chirp, you open your tiny mouth towards his thumb, tiny fangs making his smile falter as he thinks you're going to bite him for a second. Only for your tiny tongue to gently lick the pad of his thumb, tiny bat body wrapping around his wrist. That was the day Hobie thinks his ‘wanting you to bite and drink from him’ obsession started. He was curious, as one naturally is when their girlfriend is a damn vampire. Days and weeks passed after that and he never uttered a word to you about the subject, not exactly knowing how you'd take being asked to feed from him.
You'd always made sure you were fed before being around him so, he never tried to ask. Although the nagging question and want to know how it felt ate at him day and night. Was it a need? No. Was it want? Perhaps. Was it somehow tied to his…longing of you? Hobie wasn't fully prepared to unpack that yet. Besides, what if the reason you never tried to feed from him was because you cared about him deeply and wished no hurt to come to him? That feeding was a necessity for your survival and you didn't want him to feel like you kept him around for just that? He groans as he thinks about those being the possible reasons, scrubbing a hand over his face with exasperation. It was late in the night with you having gone to feed, leaving Hobie alone in the houseboat with his ever pressing thoughts.
He flopped back on his bed and glared up at the ceiling, trying to will away the questions that flitted around his head a mile a minute. He was genuinely intrigued though. Hobie truly wanted nothing more than to find out just how it felt to be bitten by a vampire, about whether it would hurt or pinch just a bit.
“It's not even like that. She loves me. Plus this is just for…research…”, he mumbles to himself as he flings an arm over his eyes. Would you get mad at him and be offended if he asked you, however? You've always indulged in his curiosity when it came to your abilities but, something like this just had to be… personal. Teeth worrying at his bottom lip and tongue fiddling with his lip piercing, Hobie lays there for a few more moments before sighing and sitting up. He wouldn't ask you. At least, not yet. Too caught up in the long list of cons rather than the short list of pros. Just as he reaches for his guitar, a sudden bang against his window rocks the boat. He holds out both arms to steady himself as the houseboat slowly stops rocking, eyes darting towards the window and ears perked for anything that might spell danger.
His senses don't go haywire, which helps ease the anxiousness beneath his skin. Standing up, Hobie opens the window to peer out of it, only for the fuzzy blur that is you to come hitting him in the face, making him yelp in shock. Your fuzzy body drapes over his head before you slowly slide down into his palms that had quickly come up to catch you. Little chirps leave you, sounding weak and tired. Hobie shakes his head before peering down at you with growing concern as he walks back over to the bed and sits down with you in his arms. With a poof of shimmering black mist, you're back in your human form, albeit bruised and bleeding from multiple cuts. Your body sags weakly against his as you look up at your boyfriend with a shaky smile.
“Evening, Hobie.”
“Oh my days, what the absolute fuck happened to you?” Is what he furiously whispers as his hands tenderly cup your cheeks. You nuzzle into the warmth of his touch as he gently wipes the blood dripping from your forehead, eyes shining with concern and heart aching at your battered form. You can smell the scent of his blood beneath his skin, how it rushes through his veins. With a sigh, you bat tired lashes up at him and softly shrug.
“Not all vampires are as lovely as me. That is to say, I got into a fight with some old shithead and won. ‘M hungry though, didn't get to feed…” You mumble as you bury your face against his chest. Hobie scoffs and shakes his head. Of course you'd find a way to make some joke out of the situation. He's rubbed off on you a bit more than he'd liked to. Pursing his lips and watching as you inhaled the scent of him deeply, that nagging question springs into his mind again. After all, you were battered, tired, and hungry. It couldn't hurt to ask now…
“Hey, um, love? Considering that you need blood to heal and everything… W-What if you were to feed on me…?”
“Oh, finally. I was wondering when you were going to ask this question.” That makes his eyebrows raise in shock, mouth dropping open and eyes blinking repeatedly. You give him a knowing smirk and press a sweet kiss to his chin then his lips.
“Trust me, it's a very common question, baby. You wouldn't be the first to ask it. I am curious what your reason behind it is, though.” Hobie lets out a nervous chuckle, a dopey grin on his face as he avoids your gaze. He shrugs and scratches the back of his head, embarrassment coloring his voice and making it crack a bit.
“U-Uh, well… You know, it's for, um, science! Yeah… Science, lovie.” Not entirely a lie, he was much too flustered to come up with any other excuse. A giggle leaves your lips and Hobie's eyes soften as he gazes at you with fondness. Always so weak whenever you laugh for him, the sound like an arrow straight to his heart. He leans down to kiss you tenderly, hands cupping your face once more and thumb caressing your cheek lovingly. When he pulls back, his heart just about aches at the adoration in your pretty eyes, his heart fluttering in his chest. His thumb tenderly grazes along your bottom lip, gently poking at your fang that sticks out.
“Go ahead then, darlin’. Take what you need, mm?” Slowly nodding your head, you lean up to press your lips against his neck, softly gripping the hair at the back of his nape to gently tilt his head to the side. Your other hand rests on his shoulder. One of his hands is splayed across your back while the other rests on the back of your head.
“I'll be gentle, promise”, you mumble quietly against his skin as your fangs gently graze his flesh. He shivers slightly at the sensation and nods his head, heart pounding in his ears as you pepper his neck in kisses. It's then that he feels your fangs sinking into his flesh, like a shard of ice in his veins. The pain is sharp and quick to come, but goes away just as quickly. He can feel the sensation of his blood being sipped out of his body, a sensation that isn't too unpleasant. Warmth pools beneath his skin and he holds you closer against his body as you drink from him. His mind clears and his body feels lighter, like all of his troubles have been swept away by your touch. Giddiness makes a goofy smile appear on his lips as he presses his neck closer to your lips. You hold onto Hobie gently, tilting his head just a bit more as you lap at the delectable nectar that is his blood. There's something different about it, not like a normal human’s life force. You think that it's probably because your boyfriend is no normal human, after all. There's something energizing about it, something that pumps you up and you feel every wound stitching itself close the longer you drink.
Hobie's little hum and hands growing slightly lax in his grip on you makes you back away, tongue lapping over the bite mark to stop the bleeding. Pressing one final kiss to his neck as thanks, you gaze up at his face with slight concern. Hobie's eyes are half-lidded and glazed with contentment, hands wrapping around you and gently pulling you towards his neck again.
“Finish drinkin’, lovie”, he slurs just a bit, voice deep and soft like he'd been drinking. “Want you to get all better.” His words make you smile and you gently lay him down on the bed. You shush his protests with a soft kiss to his lips before tapping his cheek so that he looks up at you.
“I got just what I needed. Thank you, Hobie.” You coo softly as you drape the blankets over his form. Hobie gives you a lopsided smile, his eyes swimming with such a lovestruck shine to them that you can't help but pepper his face in more kisses. He hums softly as you adorn him with your love, grin widening with every kiss.
“Anythin’ for you, sweetheart”, he mumbles as you turn off the lights and press another kiss on his forehead. Sleep is quickly trying to claim him and he's not one to fight it. “Anythin’ for you.”
#octobie#hobie brown x reader#hobie brown#octobie'24#hobie x reader#fanfic#octobie halloween#vampire reader#spider punk#kind of a in the pursuit of blood reverse au if you think about it
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Strawberry Wine - Part 1
Pairing: Lee Jihoon (Woozi) x Fem!Reader
Genre: Romantic Comedy, Strangers to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Fake Dating, Smut (not in this part) MDNI!
Synopsis: After breaking off your engagement to your cheating fiancé, you decide to take the planned trip to Paris anyway. A vacation alone with the honeymoon suite all to yourself seems like the perfect distraction. Just that, due to an internal error at the hotel lost soul Jihoon, who still isn't over his first love's death five years ago, is staying in the same honeymoon suite as you.
Warnings (in this part): mentions of cheating, alcohol consumption, angst, probably a not so good description of paris tbh, the word "cock" is mentioned once, slight sexual tension
Word Count: 7.9k
A/N: hi everyone!! this is part one of my story for the world tour collab hostes by @svthub!! check out the masterlist here! this one is a bit of a... beginning, i guess, lol. the real drama and smut and all that will be in part two. but i still think this is a a fun part to get to know our characters! this not beta read and i might edit it later... thanks for reading i hope you enjoy <3 header & divider credit to @okiedokrie!
one; the author
The flash of the camera goes off and you’re almost sure your eyes were closed. The teenage girl next to you smiles brightly and waves at you once more before rushing off to go over to her mother. You lightly smile back and look over to your right where Minghao is giving you a thumbs up. Apparently, so you interpret his gesture, you’re holding up quite well for someone who just caught her fiancée cheating two weeks ago.
You’re aware that you could have canceled the book signing today. No one would have been mad. But even though your heart is shattered to a million pieces and you don’t think you’ll ever heal from this hurt - you still need to earn money and make those who give you that money happy. Just sucks that the person you build this with is somewhere on the Bahamas with your biggest rival on the romance book market. Or, well, as your publisher says: your bestest friend on the romance book market. Since you’re both making money, of course. You can’t count the times you and her have been sent to events together, not saying a word to each other on the way there and playing happy family the second you are in front of the cameras.
Her books weren’t even good! Boring and predictable if anyone asked you. Your ex had always agreed with you, even if he was her agent as well as yours. But Jaehyun was slick - he told her the same about your books.
“Hi, oh my god, I love your books so much! I can’t wait for the next one!” It’s a boy with the brightest and whitest smile you have ever seen and for a second you can forget your sadness.
“Thank you so much. What name do you want me to sign?”
The book signing ends about half an hour later. You’re in the car with Minghao who’s typing something on his phone as he sits in the backseat with you.
“You did great, you know.” He says, not looking up. His words make your stomach turn uncomfortably even though you know he means well.
“Thanks,” is your mumbled response, your head slowly turning to look out of the window. Minghao sets down his phone, realizing his words didn’t come out the way he wanted them to. He sighs.
“Best friend dearest,” he starts, “you know what I meant. Considering you have been in your room with no lights on and Adele on repeat for the last few months - you did exceptionally well socializing with people you don’t know.”
“It’s my job after all, isn’t it?”
“No, your job is writing brilliant books, Y/N. This is just a bonus. Your books would sell wonderfully even without you doing this.”
Three months ago this would have made your chest fill with pride. You’d be beaming and agreeing with Minghao, content with your life and what you had made it to be. But now, it’s different.
Now, all you feel is ache in your chest. No sense of pride, no smile in sight. No contentment with how your life is going. Joy has been missing in your palette of feelings for a long time.
The city lights are what keep you awake. Exhaustion and the feeling of sadness that you have become so used to are close to make you falter, to make you want to go home and put those Adele songs right back on repeat. It’s not fair, you think. Not fair that your life was ruined this way and you can’t get back up. That all you’re able to do is live because you have to, not because you want to. And the closer July 17th comes - the more you feel yourself falling deeper into a hole.
It’s hard to believe that three months ago you were a completely different person. A person who loved to laugh, who had fun game nights with her friends, cooked every day, went for runs in the morning, planned a wedding. You were a person who loved to love. All of this was accompanied by the person you had been sure you’d spend the rest of your life with: Jaehyun. He was tall, handsome, kind. You had met him through work - he had been assigned your agent when you switched publishers. He was your muse. Helped you with your books, made the sales sky rocket with the way he marketed you.
For five years he was your everything. In some ways (ways you loathed) he still is. Your whole life revolved around him. Wherever you went - he did too. Whenever you fell - he was there to catch you. Nothing in the world could have ever prepared you for what was going to happen. But then again, when is someone ever prepared to be cheated on by the person they trusted the most in their life?
To say it was a shock would be an understatement. Accidentally finding the messages he sent to her on his iPad. Confronting him and seeing his face fall, his expressions change into something you had never thought possible. He looked caught. Mainly because he was. Also because he never thought the truth would come to light. You had been the only one left in the dark. Everyone at the publishing house knew what he was doing. He and her.
It wasn’t fair, you knew that, but in the beginning you couldn’t handle being mad at Jaehyun. Instead you focused all your anger on her, all the hurt you felt. It wasn’t like you had particularly liked her before - she was your rival, the person everyone always compared you to. She was younger than you, didn’t have as much experience - but she was more successful. At least to an extent. Her books regularly went viral on ‘booktok’, mainly because she wrote them like she worked in a factory. Every couple of months there’d be a new one - and people ate it up. You, on the other hand, liked to take your time, liked to write stories with captivating characters, with characters people could relate to - fall in love with.
Suddenly your biggest rival became the person you hated and wanted to be like the most in the world. To be her would mean to have him. Him, who you still love so much, who still means everything.
It is a little different now. 100 days later and you feel like you don’t love him as much anymore. Yes, it still hurts like hell and, yes, you want to stay home most of the days. But you don’t miss him as much as you used to.
“Do you want to grab a drink?” Minghao asks now even though he already knows the answer. Gosh, you wish you could give him a yes. A smile and a yes. Instead, you only present him with the first, stretching out your hand and reaching for his.
“I need to get home, Hao. Today has been a lot.”
Minghao nods slowly, a sad smile on his pretty lips. He understands, he really does. But he also misses his happy best friend. Misses the way your eyes crinkle when you smile wholeheartedly , misses the sound of you honest laugh. No matter how many time will pass, he doesn’t think he could ever forgive Jaehyun for what he’s done to you.
Fighting with a french man on the phone at the crack of dawn surely had not been on your agenda for today.
“I’m sorry, miss, but the cancellation period ended two weeks ago, there is nothing we can do.”
It’s too early and you are too tired. He is probably too by now, considering he has been saying this sentence at least five times in the past seven minutes. You pull a hand through your hair and let it drop back onto the mattress after.
“My wedding isn’t happening anymore, and you really won’t let me cancel the honeymoon suite?” Usually, you’d never snap at anyone over the phone - especially custom service personnel, but this is different. What he’s implying means you won’t get any money back from one of the most expensive purchases you’ve made. Worst thing about this: you paid for this yourself. Jaehyun had paid the location - which of course could still be canceled. But the freaking hotel stay in Paris of course was set in stone!
“I am very sorry, miss. I wish there was more that I could do. Perhaps you can take the trip yourself and enjoy our beautiful honeymoon sui-“
You hang up on him. It’s not polite, you’re aware. But just the thought of being alone in the suite you were supposed to enjoy with your freshly baked husband… no, absolutely not. Then, fine, you’d have to live with having spent thousands of dollars on a hotel suite you wouldn’t be able to use.
As if life isn’t horrible enough already.
When you sit at brunch later that day with Minghao and your mutual friend Mingyu, they both stare at you like you’ve just told them you decided to get Jaehyun’s face tattooed on your thigh.
“Are you kidding me? You basically get to have a Paris vacation for free for yourself!” Mingyu says, the glass of mimosa he is holding in his hand is almost spilling with the way he moves his arm. You scoff.
“What do you mean “free”? I literally paid for it months ago!”
“Okay, and did you already make that money back?” Mingyu continues and raises his brow. You stay silent for a moment.
The restaurant Minghao chose is filled with people enjoying the vegan food made from scratch. Your own very delicious avocado toast with a side of fresh fruit and soy-yogurt is laying in front of you, waiting to be eaten. The mimosa Minghao had ordered for you remains untouched.
“She has.” Hao decides to answer for you as he sips from his mug of matcha. You shoot him a glare.
“So what! I’m not going to go to Paris by myself when this was supposed to be my honeymoon!” You try to stay quiet, looking from Minghao to Mingyu and back. Judging by their faces, they don’t seem to understand the big deal.
You envy them. God, how much you wish you could just do it. Go on that already paid for vacation by yourself, not give a single damn about Jaehyun and his new girlfriend. Your heart sinks. Just thinking these words is making you feel like crawling back into bed.
Minghao groans and puts his mug back on the table.
“Y/N,” he starts and his voice sounds more serious than you’ve ever heard him talk before - even Mingyu seems startled, “I get it, okay? I get that he hurt you, that he made you believe in something that was never going to work. He is an asshole, if not the biggest asshole walking freely on this earth. But you’re young! You’re young and you deserve better than this! Keeping to yourself, barely leaving your apartment - your bed, honey, it’s not good for you. I understand that you want to stay away, that the world is a fucking scary place without the person you thought was your person right there next to you,” he grabs your hand over the table, “but do you know what all of this means? That your person is still out there! That you can still find them! And what better place to start than Paris, the literal city of love!”
He means well. Just like the other night after the book signing. He means well and he wants just what’s best for you. No one wants you to feel better as much as he does. Then why does it make you so mad that he is asking this of you? That he is calling you out this way?
You pull your hand away from his and grab your purse from the free chair next to yours. Both men gawk at you, startled.
“Y/N-,” Mingyu tries, but you raise your hand to interrupt him.
“You get it, Hao? Really? Has your significant other of five years also cheated on you with your biggest rival? Did you also have to cancel a wedding you put hours and hours of work and money into? Because I don’t remember this happening to you! So, I would really appreciate it if you gave me the time I need to grieve this relationship and decide for myself when I am ready to get out again!”
Without giving them another look, you storm out of the restaurant. Everything around you is a blurr and you only notice that you’re crying when you reach your car. Cursing to yourself, you move to open your car, tears dripping from your cheeks down onto your shirt. God, what a pathetic little woman. Crying in your car after yelling at your best friends for what? For caring? For only meaning to help?
It takes a while before you manage to start the engine and get on the road to drive home. The radio is silent and for a second you wished you could turn off your brain the same way. Just one switch and all thoughts gone. All the self doubts and the hurt, all the thoughts of what-if and the wish to travel back in time and never have you take his iPad.
You stop at a red light and wipe away some more tears. You don’t dare to look into the mirror and check your make-up.
Never finding the iPad, you circle back, if you had never found it, you wouldn’t be in this situation. No, you’d most likely still be in a relationship with a man that cheated on you. That didn’t love you half as much as he claimed, that didn’t deserve the time and care you’d given him.
When the light turns green, you continue your way, your thoughts still roaming around the what if. And while your heart yearns for him back, for what you believed you had - your head knows it’s better this way. Jaehyun isn’t the one for you, as much as you would have loved him to be, Minghao is right. It’s just that the thought of starting over with someone new makes you cringe, makes fear rise within you. Someone new to give your heart to and hope they don’t break it the way Jae had.
Once you’re on the highway you think back about the time you had decided to travel to Paris for your honeymoon. It had been your idea, your wish. Your first ever book, even if it never made it onto a bestseller list or into the mouths of the best romance critics - it was set in Paris. The city of live, the city you decided would become your favorite even though you had never been. Spending two weeks there with the love of your life after becoming his forever, seriously, nothing had ever sounded as wonderful as that.
Minghao’s words ring in your ear. Your person is still out there, he said. And that Paris, as the city of love, would be the perfect place to go look for them. Your knuckles turn white around the steering wheel. You never wanted to spend time in Paris with anyone but Jaehyun.
Or maybe, you think as you take the exit leading to your neighborhood, the only Person you need to spend time with in Paris is yourself.
two; the lost soul
He never should have listened to Jeonghan. No one should ever listen to Jeonghan. The cab driver is speaking in quick french that Jihoon knows he wouldn’t understand even if he spelled out every word for him. Then again, he isn’t even sure the driver is talking to him or just about him. Jihoon can’t really blame him. After all, he is the stupid American with the stupid big guitar case and a backpack almost bigger than himself.
The backseat is hot and Jihoon’s sunglasses do little to keep the sun from blinding him.
Paris in the summer sounded better on paper than it does actually experiencing it. It’s nothing compared to the summer in Arizona, where Jihoon grew up, but having lived in Vermont for a while now, he wasn’t used to the burning hot, scorching sun that threatened to give him the sunburn of his life if he didn’t re-apply his sunscreen every few hours.
Tara had always laughed at him and his easily burned skin. She never burned, no, she got a tan right away, looking beautiful in the rays of sunshine dazzling on her skin like they belonged there.
Right now, he misses her more than he has in a while. When he passes the beautiful architecture of his first love’s favorite city, he smiles even with the sun shining directly into his eyes.
In all seriousness, Jihoon doesn’t know why he is here. It feels wrong to be here without her, but it also felt like he had to take the invitation from his friend. She would have never forgiven him, if he let this opportunity fly. Visit the city of love, the city she had always dreamt about, he knows as wrong as it feels, it’s the right thing to do.
A few minutes later, the cab stops in front of an old looking building. Without saying anything, the driver takes Jihoon’s Euros and drives off after heaving Jihoon’s suitcase out of his trunk.
Jihoon looks after the car, his dark hair falling into his forehead. Once the cab takes the next corner, he looks at the building, something stirring in his stomach. This… doesn’t look like the pictures on AirBnb at all. Quickly, he fishes his phone out of his pocket, happy he booked the data package at the airport back home. Opening his app, he feels like he’s about to throw up his airplane food.
It’s not there. The apartment is gone from the app, not newly put in under a different name, not just gone because of a glitch. It’s like it never existed. Jihoon curses, moving his fingers over his screen, calling the customer service only to be met with a french speaking automatic voice that doesn’t help him in the slightest.
Hanging up again, he stares at his phone for a few seconds. He shouldn’t have come. It feels too much like a sign. Maybe he should try changing his flight to this evening, maybe he should try to run after that cab and-
The phone in his hands rings and he quickly picks up.
“Hello?”
“Jihoonie!” It’s Jeonghan, the only reason he is in Paris in the first place, “did you make it to the city of love?”
“Yeah, and I wish I didn’t,” Jihoon mumbles in response, brushing his hair out of his face.
“Why? What happened?” Jeonghan does sound concerned, which might be a first.
“My Airbnb doesn’t exist.”
Silence. Jihoon just knows his friend is trying his hardest not to laugh. Oh, to be Yoon Jeonghann and always get entertained by his friends’ miseries.
“Jeonghan, this isn’t funny, okay? I’m about to call another cab and get my ass back home.”
“No! No, you can’t go home! You’re here and I’m going to make sure these will be two of the most amazing weeks of your life, alright? Look, instead of home, get your ass to my hotel. I think I might have a solution for your problem.”
When Jeonghan texts him the address and Jihoon hails another cab, he doesn’t dare to hope that his friend has an actual solution.
Perhaps Jihoon should have asked Jeonghan more thoroughly what kind of Hotel he works at. Because this looks very different to the building Jihoon just left. This is art, this is a fancy hotel in the middle of Paris’ most elegant streets, people in expensive clothes walking around Jihoon who has only a backpack and a guitar on his back. Jihoon gapes at the building, words he has read a million times suddenly filling his head, suddenly coming to life.
The façade of the hotel stands proudly on the bustling Parisian street, an exquisite testament to classical elegance and modern charm. The building’s cream-colored stonework is adorned with intricate carvings and ornate embellishments, each detail meticulously crafted to perfection. Above the entrance, a grand arch frames a large window, its glass shimmering in the soft light of the early evening.
Striped blue-and-white awnings shade the windows, their cheerful colors contrasting beautifully with the building’s stately architecture. Delicate wrought-iron balconies extend from the upper floors, offering glimpses of lush potted plants and inviting chairs, perfect for an intimate evening under the stars.
The entrance is framed by deep blue columns, and a passageway, warm light spills out from within, hinting at the luxurious interior that awaits guests. A pair of elegant lanterns flank the doorway, casting a gentle glow on the stone steps below.
Above the entrance, a crest adorned with elaborate scrollwork and a regal shield stands as a proud emblem of the hotel’s storied history. The name of the hotel is etched in graceful letters, a promise of the enchanting experience that lies within.
He doesn’t dare to move from where he is standing. Doesn’t dare to step foot into the hotel that looks exactly the way he had envisioned the one Tara would always read to him. Goosebumps erupt all over his skin and he swears there are tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. This must be a dream, a different reality, because there is no way Jeonghan works here.
But when Jihoon lets his eyes wander over the façade and into one of the magnificent windows - he spots his friend. Spots him on the phone behind the wooden counter, writing something down. He is here and this is real.
So, Jihoon slowly moves. One foot before the other, eyes glued to the entrance, nis heart beating in his chest. He feels silly, but he wonders if Tara had seen this as clear as he had back when she had read the book to him over and over again.
A welcome warmth meets Jihoon inside. It’s just as beautiful as the outside, he finds, his stomach turning over once more.
The lobby exudes a warm, inviting glow, courtesy of the golden chandeliers that hang from the high ceilings, casting a soft light over the polished marble floors. Rich hues of deep blue and soft gold dominate the color palette, creating a sense of opulence and sophistication. Jeonghan stands behind the mahogany desk, still talking on the phone, still not spotting Jihoon.
Jihoon, who feels so insanely out of place in his worn out jeans and the old leather jacket, with his hair unkempt and his eyebrow pierced. He moves over to the front desk, trying his hardest not to care about the stares he is getting from the people who clearly know he doesn’t actually belong here.
Jeonghan’s eyes light up when he sees him, a wide smile now on his lips as he holds up a finger as if to tell Jihoon to just be a little more patient. Jihoon carefully puts his hands on the top of the counter, his eyes roaming the lobby again.
“Of course, we can’t wait to have you back here again so soon, Miss Jones. Have a great day, bye bye!”
Jihoon’s eyes fly over to Jeonghan again when he hears the phone click.
“You’re actually here!” Jeonghan’s smile grows and he moves forward to give Jihoon probably the most awkward hug of his life over the counter. Jihoon laughs at that, patting his friend on the back.
“Well, it’s either this or the streets,” he smiles, “you never told me how… grant all of this is.” He gestures with his hands, as if to make sure Jeonghan knows he means the hotel. His blonde haired friend chuckles.
“Yeah, I thought it would come off like bragging if I did say so. I never would have heard the end of it from the boys.”
Jihoon nods. He knows exactly what Jeonghan means. Still. He can’t shake the feeling that if he had known about this… his stomach drops again.
“It’s beautiful.” Is all he eventually says, ignoring the worried look of his friend. Jihoon doesn’t know (and Jeonghan will never tell him) but there was a reason he had never mentioned this to him.
“That, it is,” Jeonghan finally responds, wiping the worry off his face and replacing it with a broad smile, “and you will get to live here for the next two weeks!”
“I will what?!” Jihoon’s eyes widen in surprise, “Jeonghan, I can barely pay rent at home, what do you-,”
“Obviously for free, dummy,” Jeonghan chuckles, “we have a free suite that has already been paid for, full price.”
Jihoon raises his brows, his hands feeling damp on top of the fancy counter.
“How come it’s free when it’s fully paid?” He asks.
“Well, there was supposed to be a wedding and…. now there isn’t one. They didn’t meet the requirements for the full or the partial refund. So, it’s free for the next two weeks since we can’t legally double book. You want it?”
It feels a little bit too good to be true, but Jihoon is in no place to turn down Jeonghan’s offer. The little voice in his head is trying to get to him, trying to make him speak the words to himself. It tries to get him to admit that this feels a lot like fate. Like a sign from above, from Tara. He doesn’t let it get to him. He’s not ready for that, and he’s certainly not melancholic enough for thoughts like this - even as a songwriter.
“I do, thank you, Han, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you right now.”
“Oh, most certainly sleep on the streets. Find a rat for a friend, or maybe a pigeon. They are crazy over here,” Jeonghan sings as he types something in the computer, scanning one of the key cards he takes from the drawer beneath him. Jihoon watches him with his heartbeat in his ears.
“Yeah, never been a big fan of rats. Or pigeons.” Jihoon dares to look around the lobby again, seeing all those people living their life, probably never worried about any of the things he worries about. He wasn’t lying when he said he has trouble paying his rent. Work hasn’t been easy these days.
“Aaaaand, here we go!” Jeonghan grins brightly, “your key, Mr. Lee.” He holds it mid air, pulling it back slightly as Jihoon is trying to grab it. The latter gives him a funny look. Jeonghan pouts as he thinks.
“That rhymes. “Your key, Mr. Lee”.” Jihoon closes his eyes for a second. Jeonghan chuckles happily.
“Watch out, I’m coming for your job.”
“Well, stop it and do yours instead,” Jihoon replies, allowing himself to grin back at his friend and take the card from his hands, “where is this suite you promised me?”
-
Jeonghan hadn’t mentioned what kind of suite this is. There is nothing Jihoon can do but stare at his surroundings with his mouth and backpack dropped, his guitar slowly sliding down his arm.
He is in the honeymoon suite. In retrospect, it makes sense. Jeonghan did say a wedding had been canceled.
There are three rooms. Right now, Jihoon is standing in the enormous entrance way. Golden and blue like downstairs, with wood accents, a big round table in the center of the room that connected all the different rooms, a centerpiece of flowers as beautiful as a summer day adjoining it. The walls are high and plastered with fine drawing, ornating through all of the hallway and over to the other rooms. Flowers and patterns so elegant Jihoon doesn’t know how to even describe them.
He feels out of place as much as he feels content. Letting his luggage rest on the floor, he moves into the first room. It’s a large sitting room, probably as big as his whole apartment back at home. Two couches of rich dark blue; cushions in different colors, some of them reminding Jihoon of the ocean, some of the sky, rich blues and light blues, and then there is the color of dawn, orange and yellow.
A majestic cremé colored carpet lays beneath the sofas, a glass table standing between them. On top of it magazine stacks and a glass tray holding what looks like whiskey and two glasses. High windows let the sun shine through and Jihoon spots a balcony leading around the living- and bedroom, holding his breath as he imagines himself out there softly strumming his guitar with a glass of whiskey or wine. His heart warms at the thought of finally having peace. Peace in the city his former lover had loved so much.
Next up he walks into the bedroom, a king sized bed greets him with white linen covers and pillows almost as big as his torso. It looks incredibly comfortable and he couldn’t wait to lay down and relax after the day he’s had. Golden curtains sway in the wind let in by an opened window, and the view is so poetic he almost feels himself tear up. Quickly, he looks away and instead finds his way into the master bathroom. It’s all held in gold as well, gold and white for a change, an enormous tub next to a high rain shower behind a glass wall. He sighs.
This is perfect. And he most definitely needs a shower right now.
So, he retraces his steps and grabs his luggage, setting everything down next to the bed and letting his guitar rest in the corner of the room. He decides to actually unpack his backpack that probably doesn’t even hold as much clothes as he probably needs for this trip (he did think he had a washer, though) and places everything in the large closet opposite the bed.
Finding himself humming, Jihoon allows a little bit more of that earlier peace to find place in his head and heart. Perhaps there is no reason for him to be worried - to look for something to go terribly wrong on this trip. Jeonghan is off work by now, and they’ll go catch dinner together, then he’ll come back here and maybe watch a movie, fall asleep to the sound of Paris outside his window. He doesn’t know what it sounds like just yet, but he’s already excited to find out.
Ridding himself of his clothes and feeling another threat of tears when he touches the towels hanging in the bathroom, Jihoon finally lets himself step into the shower and wash all of his worries away.
three; the mix-up
You don’t think your heart has ever beaten as fast as it does when you walk out the Charles de Gaulle airport and right into the arms of the driver Minghao has arranged for you. It’s not about the driver or the airport - but where you are.
Paris, the city of love, the city you feared to visit after what had happened with Jae. Yet, here you stand. Handing the driver your luggage and fishing for your phone in your purse, texting Minghao you already found your driver and are now on the way to the hotel. It all feels surreal and like you’re going to wake up any second.
Minghao forgave you without hesitation. Hugged you close to his chest and cried with you as you told him you were sorry and that he was right. You needed to do this - needed to face your demons. Together, the two of you had finalized the plans, popping open a bottle of expensive champagne and gossiping about Jaehyun and who he left you for. Little by little, you knew, you would find yourself again. And perhaps Paris was the perfect way to start.
The drive from the airport to the hotel was spent staring out the window. First you saw the highway leading from the airport to the city - greenery with trees on each side, all passing by you in a blurr. And then the beautiful streets of Paris. The fine architecture, the elegant bridges over the Seine. Heart warming at the sight of the city you dreamt about so much. Your first ever book had taken place right here, you had let your main characters kiss for the first time right there on that bridge leading from one side of Paris to the other, so close to the Louvre, to the glass pyramid you made them fight and make up all the same, just months apart. The sun is dazzling onto the dark water of the river, light dancing on the surface.
The driver comes to a stop in front of the hotel about 45 minutes after your departure from Charles de Gaulle. He holds open the door for you and helps you out of the car, smiling at you warmly and finally getting your bags out of the trunk. You thank him in some broken French and he nods at you before finding his way back to the driver’s seat.
One of the bell-boys spot you right when you walk in, their English sounding a bit like your French just now. You thank them and hand over your luggage, letting them help you carry it to the mahogany reception.
It is exactly like you remember it. You had never seen it in person, no. But you’ve found this hotel during your research, falling in love with it right away. It was a no-brainer that your honeymoon was to be held here.
You felt overwhelmed at the sight of the colors you had tried so hard to bring to paper, at the sound of soft music in the background, at the knowledge this was real and you were gonna stay here for two whole weeks.
Finally, you reach the counter where a small man stands and smiles up at you, his hair styled back.
“Welcome, how can I help you?” He says in perfect English and you place your hands on top of the counter.
“Hi,” you tell him your name, “I have a reservation.”
The man nods, looking up the reservation and finding it right away. Not marked as checked in, he notes and gives you another big smile.
“It is wonderful to have you, Miss. Will your husband be joining you?”
You expected as much. While it does hurt a little, having to say these next words, you know it’s a step in the right direction.
“I will be staying here alone, thank you.”
It is more beautiful than you could have imagined and it takes you a whole lot not to start crying. Your luggage gets brought up by the nice bell-boys and you thank them by tipping them each 50 Euros. Their smiles make the loss of the money worthwhile.
Once the door closes behind them, you dare to look around. See the beautiful entrance way in all its glory. See the living room in all it’s elegance, the high ceiling and windows, the smaller bedroom with a queen sized bed and a little reading nook, two ceiling high bookshelves standing around a comfortable looking loveseat. This must be what heaven looks like.
There is nothing that can wipe that smile off your face. Everything inside you tingles with happy excitement, moving to go look at the master bedroom with the on-suite bathroom you remembered staring at for at least five minutes when you booked the room. Imagining yourself in the enormous bathtub with a glass of champagne and classical music playing, letting all the stress and hurt from the past months fade away with the notes.
You don’t notice the closet and how there are clothes hanging inside it. Neither do you see the guitar case in the corner of the room. It fascinates you - how your mind tricks you into thinking you already hear the sound of water running, accompanied by humming along to a tune. Magnificent, what the mind can do.
When you finally reach for the doorknob to push it down, yanking the door open in one swift move, you realize perhaps your mind isn’t as magnificent as you thought.
Jihoon doesn’t notice you until you scream. He swirls around, which is inherently a foolish thing to do inside a wet, slippery shower, his eyes widening whe spots you, reacting to your scream by screaming himself. He realizes he’s naked and tries to find something to cover him, taking a step forward to reach for the towel and forgetting there is literally a glass wall separating you two.
Watching the man walk face-first into the glass and stumbling back, slipping on the wet floors and falling onto his ass would have made you laugh if it wasn’t inside your shower.
“What the hell!” You yell, turning around so you don’t look at the naked man any longer.
“Who are you?!” He yells back and you almost gasp.
“I should ask you that!”
The two of you need to yell because Jihoon has not yet managed to turn the shower off. Only now does he (while rubbing his hurting back) get up, struggling in the process, his hand finding the lever to turn off the water. His nose hurts and his ass and his back.
He moves out of the shower without running into glass this time, and wraps one of the soft towels around his waist.
“I’m Jihoon,” he finally says. You think you’re suddenly stuck in a really bad movie.
“That- you’re telling me your name?!” You turn around again, staring at the stranger with disbelief in your eyes.
“You did ask who I was, didn’t you?”
For a few moments the two of you continue to stare at each other. With every passing second you notice just how naked he is. Yes, there is a towel around him now, but you certainly did not… miss what was under there when you first walked in. As much as you don’t want to, your eyes scan the stranger, or well, Jihoon as he told you, stopping at his wet torso, the defined abs and the broad chest. He might be small in height but the rest of him seems… big.
You swallow.
“If you’re done checking me out, would you mind telling me why you’re in my room?”
Heat spreads through your body and right into your face, your eyes jumping from his torso to his face.
“Your room? I’m sorry, this is my room!”
While Jihoon did hit his head, he isn’t hurt enough not to understand that you’re most likely telling the truth. But Jeonghan had said the wedding was off… that you wouldn’t come here. So, why on earth, where you here?
“I- I can explain,” he begins, taking a step forward only for you to take a step backward. He holds out his hand as if to signal he wasn’t going to do anything.
“Go right ahead,” you hate that your voice is shaking, but it’s not like it is an everyday occurrence you find a beautiful stranger in your hotel room. If this wasn’t your actual life but a book this might have been sexy, might have led to the bed behind you finding the two strangers entangled, giving in to the sexual tension between them. Not that there was any of that in this situation.
“My friend, Jeonghan, he- he works here. He told me this suite wouldn’t be used and so I- well he asked me if I wanted to stay here for my trip after I told him my airbnb didn’t actually exist and I needed a, uh, a place to stay.”
You blink at him.
“He just- he gave you my honeymoon suite for free?
Jihoon swallows.
“Well…,” he thinks a little longer on his answer, “yes. Yes, he did.”
Telling the truth is probably his best bet.
You take a deep breath, turning away from him, clenching and unclenching your hands.
“As you can see, I am here. So, please, find somewhere else to stay.”
Jihoon saw it coming, obviously. It was all too good to be true. Without saying anything else, he walks over to the closet, ready to dress himself. Just that he didn’t quite calculate the new luggage now laying in front of the bed.
It all seems to happen in slow motion.
Jihoon tripping over your suitcase, his hands desperate trying to find something to hold on to before he falls. As if on reflex, you grab his arm, yanking him up so he doesn’t fall flatly on his face, just that you somehow manage to yank him so hard, you fall off balance. With a high pitched squeak, you fall onto the bed, Jihoon landing on top of you, his towel falling off in the process of the fall and save.
A naked man is on top of you, brown eyes wide with shock staring into yours. His hands somehow moved right to the sides of your head as if to catch himself from falling even further on top of you.
You can feel him. Feel his breath on your face, his skin on yours, his friend against your thigh. More heat rises, your face, your neck, your chest, your core. It’s bad. This shouldn’t be happening right now.
The two of you are so engulfed in the moment, you don’t even realize when the door opens yet again. When voices you would normally recognize without trouble seem to fail your ears this time. Jihoon’s face so close to yours - way too distracting.
“What the fuck?!”
Realization hits you at the same time as recognition and you gasp, your knee coming up, right into Jihoon’s lower parts, a yelp escaping him as he slides off the bed, hands now covering his private area and his face in a grimace of sheer pain.
You don’t even notice it. Not really, at least. Now it’s not his face that’s distracting you but the one you used to love for so many years.
“Jaehyun?” You whisper. And for a second you think he came here to make amends, to win you back, to get on his knees and apologize - then you spot her walking in, her eyes scanning the room with distaste.
“Who is that?” Jaehyun asks and you feel your blood boil.
“What are you doing here?” You ignore his question. He isn’t looking at you, but at Jihoon still on the floor.
“Oh, well, you know. We thought that it would be such a waste to let this suite go to waste,” it is her who answers you now, her deep red manicured hands now curling around Jaehyun’s biceps.
This bitch. Your blood starts boiling. Anger makes you see red.
“You brought her here?” You hiss at Jaehyun who has the decency to look guilty at least. You snort. Then, your eyes find Jihoon who’s still on the ground, Jihoon who is still naked. Jihoon, who desperately needs a place to stay.
God knows what makes you do what you do next. Desperation? Foolery? Who knows. But you move to help Jihoon up, grabbing the towel and holding it in front of his lower half.
“Y/N,” Jaehyun starts but you interrupt him.
“I see that we both had the idea to bring our new partners, or in your case old partner, to the suite we booked together, Jae. But since I was the one who paid for it, I would kindly ask you to leave.”
New partner. Jihoon needs a few seconds before he grasps what you just said.
“New- new what?” He mumbles, but you clear your throat to drown out his voice. Jaehyun’s face is priceless and you don’t want the bluff to be uncovered so quickly.
“That is your new boyfriend?” She asks, her brows raised. You can see that she’s checking him out - his abs, his cest, his pretty face. It makes your insides turn with hatred and disgust.
“Got a problem, Sierra?” You reply, your jaw tense. Her eyes only briefly meet yours.
“Oh, absolutely not. I’m glad to see you finally got out of that moping phase, honey. It really didn’t suit you.”
Your grip around the towel tightens.
Slowly, Jihoon begins to understand what is going on. Who these people are. There was supposed to be a wedding and a honeymoon, but neither of these happened. You are the bride, or well, were supposed to be the bride. And he, the man you called Jaehyun and who had caused all the color to fade from your face, surely seems to be the groom who… never got to be the groom. And judging by the way you reacted to him and her, he guesses the reason the wedding didn’t happen was… the woman you’d called Sierra.
Blinking a few times, Jihoon realized that you were trying to convince him that he was your new boyfriend. That you had brought him here, to this hotel. It was ridiculous and straight out of a bad movie, but somehow… even if he didn’t know you, he felt like he should help you. And so, he let his arm wrap around your waist, catching you by surprise.
“I would kindly ask you to leave us be. You have done enough.”
Your head swirled to look at the man next to you. His stern face and his wet hair. Drops of water sliding down the side of his neck.
“How long has this been going on?” Jaehyun asks, ignoring Jihoon’s request. You turn to look at him again.
“That’s none of your business. You heard him, Jae. Leave. This isn’t your room anymore.”
Another beat of silence falls between the four of you. You try your best to ignore Sierra and cling onto Jihoon’s hand like it was the only saving grace. Perhaps that was true. Holding Jae’s gaze and trying to calm down your hurting heart, your wishes to throw something at him.
“Fine. I heard the honeymoon suite in the Hilton is much nicer than this one, baby.”
It is then that you see it. The rings on her finger. Your stomach drops. He married her. Oh, you’re about to throw up. Jihoon seems to notice your change of emotions, quickly clearing his throat.
“Great. Have fun in Paris then.”
He carefully takes the towel from your hand, wrapping it around him fully again. Then, he looks at you. The overwhelming urge to give you a hug is almost unbearable.
“Maybe,” Jaehyun said, “since we are both seeing other people and have moved on - we could grab dinner sometime this week. All of us.”
Jihoon sees the way your eyes shake at the suggestion. And he is just about to say no, that that’s not a good idea, when you push your shoulder back and hold your head high.
“What a lovely idea. We’d love to, isn’t that right, baby?” You interlock your fingers with Jihoon’s and he stares at you for just a second, before nodding.
“Sure,” he breathes out, looking at Jaehyun and Sierra.
It most certainly isn’t a lovely idea, he is well aware of that. This whole thing isn’t a good idea. But here he is. Holding the hand of a woman he barely met twenty minutes ago. A woman who has seen him naked, a woman who had his half hard cock against the inside of her thigh. A woman he had been closer to than any other in the last five years.
No, this wasn’t a good idea. This was an awful, horrible idea that could only go so, so wrong.
#svthub#svthub.collab#svt fanfiction#woozi x reader#jihoon x reader#lee jihoon x reader#kvanity#thediamondlifenet#seventeen fanfiction#seventeen x reader#svt au#svt imagine#woozi imagine#woozi au#woozi fanfic#jihoon au#jihoon fanfiction#jihoon fanfic#jihoon x you#woozi x you#svt fic#seventeen fic#woozi fic
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the cross fic made me realize there's not enough tech angsty fanfics
how about a groveling tech trying to get femreader back like they were an item before order 66 tech broke things off, they reunite with the batch later but reader became a very sad person after all that time
an i lied because i thought you deserved better so i pushed you away situation ?
sorry if it's a long ask 😅 first timer here
I like your writing 💕
No worries! I love a detailed prompt.
Writing angst for Tech was harder than I thought it would be tbh. I think his direct communication style and self confidence make it especially difficult, so I took a slight detour here that I feel is more true to his character.
Piece by Piece
Pairing: Tech x fem!Reader
Words: 5,630
Tags/Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, allusions to torture, PTSD
Summary: Pushing you away was the logical decision. It was the right choice. But Tech never expected it to hurt so much, nor did he expect to reunite with you months after the rise of the Empire, broken and haunted by your time spent in Imperial custody. Now, he's determined to make things right.
Being in the same room as you is exceedingly difficult in a way Tech didn’t expect.
It’s been weeks since you returned, appearing like a vision from the Force to them, alive, and he still can’t quite believe it. His hands shake slightly when you look at him, his mouth goes dry. He still wants to reach out to you, hold you tight and never let you go, and it is agony to resist, to stand by your side and not be able to touch you.
You were the one who asked for space, time to readjust to being around them again. And he has respected that, despite the desperate, possessive urge to pull you back, to keep you close so you never leave his side again.
It makes it hard to concentrate. Hard to be of any use at all, really.
Tech knows this isn't healthy, the way his mind and body and emotions are behaving, but he is finding it difficult to control. He has a lot of feelings that he isn’t sure what to do with, a lot of emotions that he doesn't understand. Tech isn't one for emotional outbursts, for being ruled by his heart and not his mind. He is rational, logical, always thinking of the most efficient solution to a problem, the most practical way of doing things.
It’s what lead him to break it off with you, after all. He couldn’t afford to have his head in the clouds when so much is on the line, couldn't afford to be distracted by thoughts of you when they could be used against him.
But then you were gone, and Tech was left alone with only the cold reality of his own decisions.
He thought he had made the right choice. Thought he had been logical and sensible, thought it would hurt you less in the long run, if he pulled away. But Tech doesn't feel very sensible now, and it doesn't seem very logical that the best way to protect you would be to push you away.
You have been hurt more than enough. And even if you don't want him in your life anymore, even if you want nothing to do with him, he will never forgive himself for not trying to help.
The fact is, Tech isn’t sure what you want, but he is determined to make amends, to help in any way that he can. It might hurt, might cause him to feel pain at the distance between you, but he is willing to accept that, to live with it if that is what you need.
What he isn’t willing to live with is seeing you unhappy. And you are unhappy.
Your eyes are dark, hollow. Your face is drawn and gaunt, cheeks too thin, and when he sees you, your shoulders are slumped as though under an impossible weight. You barely eat, you barely sleep. Tech watches as you push food around your plate and drink only water. He notices how you keep to yourself, avoid talking and laughing and joking like you used to, and he hates that you have changed so much, that the Empire has taken that joy from you.
And that, more than anything, is what hurts him the most. The Empire took your light, the thing that makes you, you. They ripped your spark away and left a shell behind, and he is struggling to reconcile that with the bright and lively woman he knew, the woman who had such a profound effect on him.
"On all of us," Echo points out one night, as the rest of them watch you sitting alone.
Echo has become increasingly vocal about his feelings, something Tech is glad for. It gives him a chance to understand better, to gain perspective, and Echo has been the one to notice what Tech can't admit, the thing he isn't willing to think about, the thing that hurts the most.
You're suffering, and you're pushing them away.
At first, it seemed reasonable. You were gone a long time, and they hadn’t seen you. It made sense that you needed space.
But time has passed, and you're still not yourself.
Tech thinks back to your first night, how you flinched away from his touch, and realises how foolish he has been. He sees now how much he was hurting you, how much damage his words and actions were causing, and his heart breaks a little more.
It was never about protecting you. Not really.
Tech wanted you. He wanted you for so long, and when he finally had you, he was terrified of losing you. So, he pulled away. He cut ties, and told himself it was for the best.
Except now he has no ties to cut, no bonds left to sever. You're here, but not, and his chest aches as he watches you.
This isn't the way it should be.
Tech should be holding you, and you should be smiling. He should be telling you how much he loves you, how happy he is to have you back. He should be making sure you're comfortable and safe, ensuring that you have everything you need, everything you deserve.
Instead, he stands in the corner of the room, watching silently as his brothers try to coax you into eating, or drinking, or just saying something. Omega is the only one who is successful, who manages to make you smile.
Tech can't understand it. He tries his hardest, he does his best, and you always turn away.
And the more he tries, the more he feels the ache inside him grow, the more his feelings change, twisting and turning and growing, and he can't keep track of what's happening to him. All he knows is that the idea of losing you is the worst thing he can imagine, and the idea of being without you is becoming unbearable.
He doesn't know how much more he can take.
You've been avoiding him.
No, not avoiding. You've been staying away.
Or maybe, you've been ignoring him.
“She's not talking to me,” Tech admits one evening.
He's curled up in the corner of the cockpit, legs pulled up, head buried in his arms. The rest of the Batch have dispersed, going off to their own bunks to rest or to tinker or to read. Tech is usually the last to retire, but not tonight.
Tonight, his shoulders are slumped and his goggles are pushed up onto his head. He's been scrubbing at his face with the heels of his palms for the past few minutes, trying to work through the thoughts and emotions swirling in his mind.
You're not talking to him.
And yes, maybe it's because you're not talking to any of them, but it still feels personal.
You're not talking, not laughing, not doing anything, really. You’re just there, a shadow of your former self, a ghost.
Tech misses the woman who used to laugh and tease him, the one who could always bring a smile to his face and a blush to his cheeks. The woman who was a whirlwind of color and life, the one who lit up his world and made him see things differently. Who kissed him so deeply and passionately that it felt like his entire world was reduced down to the feel of her lips. He misses her warmth, her kindness, the way she touched him, looked at him.
He misses the way he felt around her.
He misses you.
Tech doesn't know what to do. He can't stop thinking about you, can't stop thinking about what he's done, what he could have done.
What he should have done.
Maybe if he'd tried harder. Maybe if he hadn't given up, hadn't let go. Maybe if he had listened to Hunter, had heard Echo. Maybe if he'd told you the truth, he could have stopped this.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
He sighs, rubbing at his face. He feels miserable, and it's his own damn fault. He's the one who ended things, who pushed you away. And he can't blame you for that, not when it was him who decided that you weren't worth it.
That isn't to say that he didn't care. Of course, he cared. He cares now. So much it hurts.
You are the person he was in love with, the only one. But it didn't seem fair to ask you to share his life, his world, when he couldn't promise that it would always be safe, that it would always be stable. He couldn't give you a future, couldn't provide for you the way a proper partner should, the way you deserve.
He could give you the present, but he couldn't offer you anything else.
And yet, as Tech sits here, head in his hands, he can't help but think that he should have at least tried. If he'd told you how he felt, maybe things would have turned out differently.
“I only ever wanted you,” you had told him once, and Tech can't believe how stupid he was to let you slip through his fingers.
Tech isn't used to feeling helpless. He's used to knowing exactly what he's doing, to being in control. But when it comes to you, it's as if he's floundering. He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to act, doesn't know what you want.
He’s tried everything, he's done everything he can, and still, you push him away.
You don't want his comfort. You don't want his love.
He doesn't understand it. You've always seemed happy around him, like his presence brings you some peace. But now, whenever he gets close, you move away. When he tries to talk, you turn your back. When he offers help, you shut him down.
Tech isn't sure why you won't accept his assistance, or why you won't talk to him. It doesn't make sense.
He can't understand, can't rationalize. And he's never felt so lost.
Tech groans, burying his face in his arms. He's being ridiculous, he knows, but he can't help the way he feels.
He misses you.
Tech misses the way your hand fits perfectly in his. He misses the smell of your hair, the softness of your skin, the sweetness of your lips. He misses the way your smile makes him feel like his heart is full, like he can take on the world, like he can conquer anything.
Tech misses the way your body feels against his. The way your fingers feel on his skin. The way your breath catches when he touches you, the way your heartbeat picks up, the way your pupils dilate.
Tech misses the way you made him feel alive.
Tech knows that he isn't worthy of your affection. He knows that he doesn't deserve your love. He's not a good man, not a good partner, not a good friend. He's not the kind of person who should have someone like you, and yet, somehow, you chose him.
But not anymore.
“I only ever wanted you.”
You said those words to him before, and they haunt him. You told him you didn't care about the risks, the dangers, the fact that he couldn't give you the future you deserve. All you cared about was him.
And he threw it away.
Tech isn't sure how long he sits there, wallowing in his misery. He doesn't move, doesn't speak. He just sits, and broods.
“Maybe she just needs time,” Echo says, though his voice sounds doubtful.
Tech shakes his head before pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead.
“She has made it clear that she doesn't wish to speak to me, or see me, or have anything to do with me."
The words sting as he speaks them. His throat is tight, and he swallows hard, trying to hold back the emotion.
"I doubt a little more time will change her mind."
There's a long silence.
Echo leans against the wall beside Tech, his arms folded. He's watching Tech carefully, his gaze piercing. Tech feels uncomfortable, and shifts, ducking his head. He doesn't like being scrutinized, doesn't like being vulnerable. He prefers to keep his emotions in check, his feelings close to his chest.
But he's finding it hard to hide them now, and his pain is obvious, even to himself.
“But she does,” Echo says finally.
Tech glances up, frowning. "Elaborate."
"She does want you," Echo clarifies, his voice gentle. "She loves you. She wouldn't have come back if she didn't.”
Tech doesn't want to admit it, but Echo has a point. If you didn't want anything to do with him, then you wouldn't have bothered to find him. You would have left, disappeared again, and never come back.
You wouldn't have risked your life for him.
Tech isn't sure if that makes him feel better, or worse.
Because it means that you do care, but it also means that you might be willing to sacrifice yourself, and Tech can't have that. He can't let you throw away your life, not for him.
Tech groans, burying his face in his hands. He's being selfish, and he knows it. You're the one who was captured, the one who suffered, the one who nearly died. And yet, all he can think about is how much it hurts.
He's been thinking about how much it hurts him. He hasn't been thinking about what you need.
"What should I do?" Tech asks, his voice small and defeated.
"Apologize," Echo replies simply.
"I have tried," Tech protests, lifting his head. "I have apologized countless times, and she does not want to listen. She doesn't want to speak to me."
"No," Echo corrects. "You've apologized for the wrong things."
"Wrong things?" Tech echoes, frowning.
"Yes, the wrong things," Echo repeats.
Tech isn't sure what Echo means by that, but his brother looks confident, sure of himself. Tech wants to believe him, but he doesn't know how. He's spent so long trying to convince himself that he did the right thing, that he did the only thing, that he can't help but doubt.
"How do I fix it?" he asks, voice quiet.
"That, I can't tell you," Echo replies. "But Tech, the first step is admitting that you were wrong."
Tech nods, letting his shoulders sag. He doesn't feel particularly good about the situation, but he's willing to try. It's not easy, admitting he was wrong. He's so used to being right, to having the answer, to knowing what's best. But when it comes to you, he has never felt so lost.
Tech thinks of the pain in your eyes, the way you flinched from him, the way you turned away.
He has to do better. He has to be better.
He has to earn your forgiveness.
"I was wrong," Tech says, his voice steady and sure. "And I'm going to make it right."
You're standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by medical supplies and overturned cots. Your face is pale, eyes wide and fearful, and Tech isn't sure what to do.
The voice of his brothers and Omega inside his head tell him you need space, but they also remind him that you need someone to look after you. That you need help. That you can't be alone.
Tech hesitates. He isn't used to this, the uncertainty, the not knowing what's best. He's never been particularly good at reading people, and even worse at knowing what they need.
He has never been more unsure than he is now.
He wants to help. He wants to take care of you, to make you feel safe, to give you what you need. But he's terrified of getting it wrong. Especially when you're standing in front of him looking like a startled animal.
You're shaking, and your breathing is fast and shallow. Your eyes are darting around the room, as if searching for something. Tech isn't sure what it is, or if it even exists. You look terrified, and Tech knows you have reason to be. The last time you were in a place like this, the Empire was holding you captive, and he can't blame you for feeling uncomfortable.
Tech has to suppress a shudder as he remembers the footage, the recordings they managed to get from the base. The screams, the cries. They haunted his dreams, and Tech can't even imagine what they did to you.
Tech wants nothing more than to run to you, to take you in his arms and promise that he will protect you. But he can't, not without permission.
Not when he isn't sure you'd even want him to.
So, instead, he stands there, watching. He keeps his distance, gives you the space you need. He's trying his best, but it isn't easy.
She just needs time, he tries to remind himself, but Tech isn't so sure.
He isn't sure if time is enough. He isn't sure if anything will ever be enough.
He watches as you stand there, your hands clenched into fists, your eyes still scanning the room. He watches as your breathing speeds up, your chest rising and falling rapidly. He watches as the panic spreads over your face, your lips pressed together, jaw tight.
You look scared, vulnerable, and Tech's heart breaks a little more.
“Cyare,” he calls out, as quiet and soothing as he can manage. You stiffen, and Tech curses himself for causing you discomfort.
He should have stayed quiet.
But then you turn, and your eyes meet his, and something inside him seems to settle.
You look so sad, so lost, and he can't help it. He walks over to you, careful and slow, making sure not to startle you. When he reaches you, he holds out his hand, palm up. He wants you to know that he is there for you, that he will not hurt you.
He will never hurt you again.
He waits, holding his breath. He's afraid that if he moves, if he speaks, you will run. So, he stands, motionless, watching as you stare at his hand.
Slowly, slowly, you reach out, your fingertips brushing his. The touch is gentle, tentative, and Tech is afraid to breathe.
Then, your hand closes around his, and he exhales.
Tech knows he's taking a risk, touching you, but he can't resist. He can't stand the thought of leaving you alone, the thought of not being able to help. He pulls you close, wrapping his arms around you. He doesn't know what else to do. He wants to hold you, to keep you safe.
He never wants to let you go.
You're shaking, your breath coming in shallow gasps. You're trembling, and Tech knows that this is a big step, that you're taking a chance. So, he holds you, and he waits.
Your body is tense, and Tech is worried that he's overstepped, that he's pushed you too far. But then, slowly, you relax. Your arms wrap around him, your head resting on his shoulder, and he can't help but sigh in relief.
The others are nearby, finishing a sweep of the facility. He should be helping, but he doesn't want to leave your side. Not when you're finally letting him be close to you.
So, he holds you, and he strokes your hair. He whispers quiet reassurances in your ear, tells you that everything will be alright, that he's got you, that you're safe.
He's not sure if you believe him, but he has to try.
He can't lose you again.
Tech is trying.
He's trying his best, but he feels like he's failing.
Every day, every hour, every minute, his mind is filled with thoughts of you.
He thinks about how you're doing, whether or not you're eating, sleeping. He thinks about the nightmares you have, the way your body shakes as you wake, pale and trembling, gasping for air.
He thinks about how his brothers can't seem to calm you, how only Omega is successful, her soft voice and gentle touch somehow bringing you some measure of peace.
Tech can't help but feel that it should be him. It should be him comforting you, not Omega. It should be him easing your pain, not his little sister.
It should be him.
He isn't sure why he can't seem to do anything right. After they left the facility, after you finally started letting him hold you, Tech thought things would get easier.
But they haven't.
You still seem so distant, so far away. You still refuse to eat, to sleep, to talk. And Tech isn't sure how much longer he can handle this.
He's frustrated. Frustrated at himself, at the Empire, at the galaxy. Most of all, he's frustrated at you. Not that he would ever admit it aloud.
You've been through a lot. More than anyone should have to go through. Tech understands that. But he can't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, if you'd been willing to accept his help earlier, things would have been different.
Tech doesn't mean it, not really. He doesn't think that it's your fault. He's just tired, and angry, and frustrated.
And, if he's being honest, he's a little jealous.
You trust Omega. You open up to her. But you won't even talk to him.
It hurts.
Tech has spent the past few weeks trying to make things right, to show you that he’s changed. But you seem unwilling to let him in, to let him help.
It's infuriating.
Tech knows he shouldn't feel this way, but he can't help it. You were his girlfriend, his partner, his lover. And now, you won't even look at him.
He's trying, but he feels like he's getting nowhere. He wants to help, wants to be there for you. But he can't do anything if you won't let him.
“I’m not sure if this is a good idea,” Omega says, her voice uncertain. Her feet swing over the edge of the bunk across from him, and her brow furrows. “Won’t she be mad?”
Tech sighs, running a hand over his face. He knows that Omega is worried, but he can't sit around any longer. He has to do something.
"She is already upset. I'm not sure anything else could make things worse."
Tech tries to sound convincing, but the truth is, he isn't sure what the consequences will be. He isn't sure what will happen, isn't sure if this is a good idea. But he has to try.
“If you’re sure,” Omega replies slowly.
Tech nods, trying his best to look confident.
"I'm sure."
He isn't.
"Okay."
Omega pulls out her datapad and types the message. Tech watches as she hits send, then lets out a shaky breath. She slides off the edge of the bunk and hurries down the ramp, leaving him alone.
Tech waits, his nerves growing with each passing second.
You are going to hate him for this, he's sure.
But he has to do it. He has to try.
"Tech?"
Your voice is quiet, uncertain. You're standing in the doorway, arms wrapped around yourself, and Tech feels his chest ache at the sight.
You're here.
You're actually here.
"Hello," he says quietly.
“Where’s Omega?” you ask, your voice sharp. You step forward, and the light catches your face. Tech can see the bags under your eyes, the paleness of your skin. You look tired, worn down, and he hates it.
Tech winces. "She's not here."
"Where is she?"
You sound panicked, and Tech doesn't blame you. The last thing he wants is to make you more stressed. But he needs to talk to you, and this is the only way.
"She is fine," Tech says, trying to sound reassuring. "I asked her to leave."
You narrow your eyes, taking another step toward him. You're still clutching your arms, as if you're trying to hold yourself together. Tech wants to reach out, to take your hands, but he knows you'll pull away.
“What do you want, Tech?” Your voice is harsh, but Tech doesn't mind. You're speaking to him, which is more than he's gotten out of you in days.
"I, ah, I wanted to talk," Tech replies, his tone hesitant.
"About what?"
Tech swallows, his throat suddenly dry. "About us."
You frown, folding your arms across your chest. "There is no 'us', Tech. There hasn't been for a long time. You made sure of that."
Your words are sharp, cutting, and Tech can't help but flinch. He deserves them, he knows. But it doesn't make the sting any less. He takes a deep breath, trying to find the words.
"I'm sorry," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was wrong. I shouldn't have ended things."
You stare at him, eyes wide. Tech isn't sure if you're surprised, or just angry. He can't read you, not anymore. He isn't sure if he ever could. He's always felt a little bit of awe, a little bit of fear when it came to you. And now, more than ever, he feels completely lost.
"So why did you?" you ask, your voice tight.
Tech sighs, adjusting his goggles nervously. He's not sure how to answer that. He isn't sure if he even has an answer.
"I was... afraid," he admits, his voice low.
"Afraid of what?"
Tech shrugs, looking away. "Everything. The future, the war, losing you."
You don’t say anything, and Tech takes a deep breath, forcing himself to continue.
“I ran an exhaustive cost benefit analysis, and I had determined that the risks far outweighed the benefits. I could not continue our relationship knowing that I would most likely hurt you. In my mind, I needed to end things before they went any further. Before you were able to become attached.”
"I was already attached," you whisper, your voice cracking. "I was already in love with you."
Tech's heart stutters.
"You were?" he asks, his voice quiet.
You nod, biting your lip. Tech feels his stomach twist, a mixture of guilt and hope rising in him. You were in love with him. You are in love with him. And he has hurt you more than he ever thought possible.
"I was a coward," Tech says quietly. "I knew if we had gone any further, and I were to hurt you, it would have caused me immense emotional pain. And, in the process, I would have risked my ability to perform at optimal efficiency, and that would have resulted in harm to the rest of the squad."
Tech looks up, meeting your gaze. "I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't want to put the squad at risk. But in the end, I failed at both."
You frown, and Tech can tell that you're trying to understand.
"So, let me get this straight," you begin, your voice strained. "You broke up with me, because you thought it was the best option for everyone involved."
Tech nods, his expression pained.
“That’s not for you to decide, Tech. I can make my own decisions. And, I decided to be with you. But instead, you made the decision for both of us, and you didn't even bother to ask my opinion."
“I knew that if I had discussed it with you, you would have tried to convince me otherwise,” Tech explains, his voice soft. “And I wasn't certain I would be able to resist your arguments."
You shake your head, an incredulous look on your face. "So, basically, you dumped me because you couldn't trust yourself to make a logical decision?"
Tech's shoulders slump, and he nods, his head bowed.
"That is correct. It is also…” He looks at his hands, his expression pained. “For all of my unique modifications, I am still a clone. I am still expendable. But you, you are not. You are more important. You are special." He hesitates, swallowing hard. "You are irreplaceable."
Tech can see tears gathering in your eyes, and he feels a fresh wave of guilt wash over him. He never meant to hurt you, but it seems he has managed to do just that. And now, he doesn't know how to fix it.
"Tech, no." You shake your head. "You're not expendable. None of you are."
"That may be the case," Tech concedes. “But at the time I could not see a future in which the two of us could have a happy life together. Not with the way things were, not with the risk we faced. So, I chose the safest option."
"But we could have figured it out, Tech. We could have found a way."
Tech shakes his head, his expression weary.
"I was not willing to take the risk. I was not willing to gamble with your safety, with your happiness. It was a decision I had to make. For all of our sakes."
You are quiet for a moment, your expression thoughtful. Tech can see the pain in your eyes, the hurt and betrayal, and he wishes he could take it all away. He wishes he could erase his mistakes, undo his actions.
"You made the wrong choice," you say at last, your voice low.
"Yes, I did," Tech admits, his voice quiet. "I was wrong. About a great many things."
He looks up, his gaze meeting yours.
"But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you that I'm serious, that I want to fix things."
"Why?"
"Because I love you," Tech says, his voice breaking.
Your eyes widen, and you suck in a breath. Tech can see the surprise in your expression, the shock. He knows you didn't expect him to say it, to admit it. But it's the truth. And Tech can't hide it any longer. He can't pretend.
He has to be honest. Even if it means losing you.
"I love you," he repeats, his voice stronger this time. "I always have. I've never stopped. I didn't think I was capable of loving anyone, not like this. But, you changed that." He pauses, swallowing hard. "I don't want to lose you, cyare. Not again. Not ever."
"Tech."
You say his name softly, your voice cracking. Tech can see the tears welling in your eyes, and his chest aches. He wants to take you in his arms, wants to kiss away the pain, but he knows he can't. He knows he has to let you decide. He has to let you choose.
You step forward, and his breath hitches in his chest. You're so close, so near, and Tech wants nothing more than to hold you. But he doesn't. He stays where he is, waiting.
You reach out, your hand cupping his cheek, and Tech leans into the touch, savoring the warmth of your skin. You're looking at him, your eyes searching his, and Tech hopes that you can see the truth in them, the sincerity. He hopes that you can feel how much he loves you, how much he needs you.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice breaking.
You nod, and he can see the tears streaming down your cheeks. Tech wants to wipe them away, but he doesn't move. He stays where he is, watching you, waiting. You're still staring at him, and Tech feels a flicker of hope bloom in his chest.
"I'm sorry, too," you whisper, your voice raw. "I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry for everything."
You pause, biting your lip. "I love you, Tech. I never stopped. And, I don't want to lose you, either."
Tech's heart swells, and he can't stop the tears that come, or the smile that spreads across his face. You're looking at him with such tenderness, with such love, that he can't help but reach for you, pulling you close, wrapping his arms around you, holding you tight. You melt into his embrace, your arms winding around his waist, your face buried in his chest.
Tech can feel your tears, wet against his skin, and he runs a hand through your hair, trying to soothe you. You cling to him, your grip almost desperate, and Tech feels his heart break a little more.
You've been through so much, endured so much pain, and he was part of it. He was responsible for it. And he doesn't know how to make it better. He doesn't know how to take away the hurt, the betrayal, the fear. All he can do is hold you, and promise to never let you go.
"Cyare," he breathes, his voice choked with emotion. "You will never lose me. I am yours. Always."
And then, you lift your head, and his eyes meet yours, and Tech can't stop the surge of emotion that rushes through him. You're so beautiful, so perfect, and he can't believe how lucky he is.
You're the best thing that has ever happened to him, the only thing that has ever made him feel alive. And now, here you are, in his arms, telling him you love him. It's everything he's ever wanted, everything he's dreamed of. And it's real. You're real. You're here. And you're his.
"I love you," Tech whispers, and then he leans in, capturing your lips with his.
The kiss is soft, gentle, filled with everything he's feeling, everything he can't say. And when you pull away, Tech's heart skips a beat, and he wonders how he ever thought he could live without you.
"I love you," you whisper back, and Tech can't stop the smile that spreads across his face, the tears that sting his eyes. He holds you tight, and the world seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you.
He's never letting you go again.
#tech x reader#tbb tech x reader#the bad batch#tbb tech#roy writes#clone x reader#the bad batch x reader
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