#sam winchester dog motif

[puerile-fawn]

SAM WINCHESTER PURPLE DOG SHIRT BRACELET!!!!

[soullessjack]

another tally on the “things about jack that have been almost erased by the baby au” is how genuinely fucked up and weird and scary and violent and horrifying he is. the body horror of his existence is so. Palpable.

he looks human, but he still fundamentally is not human, and the thing that separates him from being human or belonging or being normal and loved and accepted without strings attached is his own bloodline. his own family, his own father. the blood that runs through his veins is the blood of the devil and he wasn’t fed it like Sam. the anger and rage and capacity for violence inside him isn’t an ancient curse like it was for Dean. It’s just who he is. It’s his neurology. Jack enters a guilt/grief-induced psychosis so bad he starts hallucinating his own dead evil father who proceeds to say “I’m in your head, your DNA,” and goes on about how Jack’s place with the only chosen family he ever cared for is that of their little pet monster who’s only kept around to kill things for them. And this is his subconscious, remember, these are all Jack’s own thoughts being given a hallucinatory voice.

When jack is first born he doesn’t even register that he’s not a full human. It’s not until he catches dean telling the sheriff that he’s a Nephil and gets stabbed all the way through his entire heart to the hilt of the angel blade and survives, that he realizes he’s Not Normal. Jack stabs himself 18 times with “grim determination,” dedicated to making a wound stay open in his body, but nothing happens. He doesn’t know what any of this is, but he knows it’s dangerous and he’s seen firsthand what he can do, because he sent the sheriff careening backwards into glass when he didn’t mean to do anything more than push her away. He tells Dean he will hurt someone again [whether he means to or not]. And he tells Sam, using his powers is like breathing; it’s a subconscious, physical, neurological part of his system that he cannot (currently) consciously control or stop.

He’s literally a living weapon. These powers of his that hurt people are akin to breathing. His violence and his evil is deep seated and runs through his heart and bleeds out of him. But he can’t bleed the evil out. He can’t escape what he was born into or what keeps him alive. He can’t even live without this nuclear power that ostensibly others him from everyone forever. He’s foaming at the mouth and seizing and fainting and bleeding and going into total systemic failure and subsequently dying as a human because he just isn’t human and he can’t live as one even if he wants to, even if that is a part of him it still isn’t the only part of him. The other half that makes him untrustworthy and violent and angry and dangerous and nuclear and evil and feared and hated is the one part he is left dying without.

His body dies a first time because it couldn’t live without its own hereditary disease, he died as a human and goes to human heaven and sees and rekindles with his human mother, the part of him that he wants to be and loves but can’t exist as. He’s brought back but now he’s a time bomb, a nuclear reactor internally melting down. he’s a weapon, but he’s alive because he was born as a weapon, and neither of these things were his choice.

and then a second time his body dies because he was only registered as a threat with no humanity. his eyes are burned out of his skull and instead of heaven with his mother, instead of humanity, he wakes up in the pitch black abyss where other nonhumans go when they die, then he’s brought back and he’s a weapon for the third time. He’s a living bomb, a collapsing black hole, and he has to eat human hearts ripped straight from the chest to keep his bomb body alive and ready for detonation, ready for collapse. He’s so far from human, further than he ever wanted to be, further enough to make his deep rooted fear a reality that he’s too suicidal to bother rebuking. Why rebuke the truth? The absolute truth that the devil, the evil of all things is in his blood and he is evil and he was a born weapon whose body exists to destroy and kill and not even his own love or will can stop it.

He is a gun that doesn’t want to be a gun and hates that his body is made to shoot and kill, but he has no choice in being anything else but a gun. He cannot ever be good, he was never good to begin with, he was just malfunctioning, glitching, experiencing an error and virus and flaw that he wishes was his entire programming. His eyes glow yellow like the corrupted Star Wars Sith and Rosemary’s Baby and a whole slew of evil things that are evil and meant to be rejected. When he gets angry, people stare at him as if he’s a cornered animal, because that’s what he is to them. To both sides of the equation, he is an animal. A foreign creature, a thing, he’s not human enough to be human and he’s not angelic enough to be an Angel. He’s some weird mixture that nobody can understand or accept. He’s unpredictable and violent and wild and born that way and only in his subsequent domestication, only in the extension of personhood and humanity can he be deemed worth loving. He’s like a dog, detrimentally loyal, old yeller going rabid while saving his family and having to be shot in an act of mercy. Barking and biting at people who might hurt his loved ones and killing them as an act of love. Sam wanted Nick to burn so Jack burns Nick and that’s why Jack says they would be grateful. He did what Sam wanted. Same for the other biblical killings. He’s the cat sinking its fangs into rodents and birds. Leaving the punctured corpses on the doormat as a gift, I did this for you because I love you, don’t you love me too?

I haven’t eaten well in the past two days does this click click anyone’s boom. Saliva

[quillkiller]

maybe i should make a sideblog for all my other hyperfixations

[deanscutiepiesam]

Stanford Sam, to me, if he were Gen Z

[arcanespillo]

“Okay? You gotta let me go”

Shadow, S1E16/ “March is March” from Brute: Poems 

[adaofthevalley]

I’m not allowed to make fan art for my portfolio, but that doesn’t mean I can’t paint a dog that represents Dean’s loyalty to John.

me, writing destiel: how can i fit a dog motif in here

[sammygender]

1st ever spn post i made: “dean winchester save me. save me dean winchester.”

2nd ever spn post i made: “you guys just don’t get dean winchester the way i do. no one could understand him like me.” <- still true though not in a way i realised then

3rd ever spn post i made: “i already feel like my brain chemistry has been changed by dean winchester and i’ve just started the second season. i haven’t even met castiel yet.” <- person who Does Not Know dstiel is bad yet

4th ever spn post i made: spn fans where are you. come to me. this is a safe space you can come out of hiding. <- person who had 0 spn mutuals

9th spn post i made: it’s just dean winchester parental issues that have me captivated btw. like he’s not even bisexual yet. i was a samgirl before i realised the specific nature of deans emotional problems <- has not realised The Divide between samgirls and deangirls yet

18th spn post i made: i know i’m like deangirl of all time he makes me go insane but truthfully i’m returning to my samgirl roots this season……he has everything. who’s dean? some older brother bisexual with a dog motif and daddy issues? 🙄 he could never <- had just started s4. historical posts made moments before disaster (samgirlism descent and dean disillusionment).

23rd spn post i made: i’m a samgirl

26th spn post i made: sam winchester did nothing wrong

29th spn post i made: spn s4 au where instead of sam drinking ruby’s blood he’s injecting her estrogen. ideologically awful but it’d slay. deans transphobic

35th spn post i made: ‘sam has made unforgivable mistakes’ shut up ‘sams redemption arc in s5’ shut up ‘sam’s way of making up for his one evil mistake in s4’ SHUT UP ‘sam’s ending in swan song perfectly redeems his character’ SHUT THE FUCK UP i hope you people die

[normalbrothershow]

lamb motif this dog motif that... what about sam winchester horse motif...

[shallowseeker]

srry for the giant wall of rambles I got too thinky bc I was chopping apples and having a suspiciously nice day

do you think cas actually likes bees or if its a fandom trait based on Crazy!Cas who liked bees because of the hivemind resembling heaven?

also i imagine heaven and angels like parasitic creatures while hell is leeches/fungi/deep sea type scavengers

You're apologizing to ME about giant walls? Now, that is a little funny.

BEES & THE QUEST FOR MEANING I've gone back and forth on the bees, but mostly I think it's harmless, and I've made peace with the fact that I'm just not that into it.

Over time I've landed on putting the bees in a more biblical/theological space and leaving them there. I don't even think Cas liked them so much as he was desperately checking out of life and struggling to find meaning in a universe that felt monotonous and horrific -> the wars and sex and the unhappy dogs that can only think in ovals.

Because of his shame and depression, Cas could find no meaning or joy in the rat-race of life. He wants to be a non-participant because, “I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again.”

Here, I view Cas as Ecclesiastes. He was despairing over meaninglessness and the useless "striving of wind." I do think it was a motif that was 100% on purpose, too, because war, work, and career dealings are accompanied by fans, windmills, and industrial stirrings a lot in SPN!

It's very cool. It even appears in The Winchesters companion series, when Mary is facing her childhood!

//

Other Cas Things Interest Me More

Anyway, Cas and bees. Cas doesn't ever really return to them again after he moves past his struggle with his season 7 nihilism/meaninglessness. He seems more enamored with trash TV than bees. "I missed television," is the very first thing he says after getting out of Purgatory, lol.

He doesn't seem like much of an environmentalist either and seems perfectly willing to hand-slaughter pigs and eat shitty food. (To me, Lucifer seems like more of the environmentalist or even AU Zachariah from season 13's Good Intentions.) Or even Cain!

I think in later seasons, Cas seems vaguely aware of and attempting to be appreciative of the fleetingness of the time he has with his human family.

We see this theme in Naomi's words sometime in season 14 (I think?):

NAOMI: "Everything ends, Castiel."

We see it again in Cas’s words to Jack in season 14’s Ouroboros:

CAS: "The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them, you. When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them."

He also, unlike characters like Sam, seems to not get too hung up on agonizing over moral relativism -> judging from his words to Claire in season 10's The Things We Left Behind:

CAS: "Yes, well, um… Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far too easy to do your worst."

And then, there's also his words to Apocalypse-World Cas, "We're the same," & "Yes, we are."

My point is, Cas seems to have made peace with and understands that morality is relative to where your allegiances lie, and he seems good with preferring his allyship to humans.

He also seems to be more focused on the here and now rather than preserving the future indefinitely, which in my mind, goes with bees-as-work and bees-as-future.

You could argue that Jack changes that for him in 12x19 The Future, but I’m not sure… It still seems pretty family- and legacy-focused.

///

HEAVEN AS HIVEMIND This is another area where I really break from the fandom.

I don't view Heaven as a hivemind so much as I view it as a police state/military power, or else I don't think it would be structured the way it is. It's got this rigid party propganada, "We're heartless. Only humans feel emotions and true joy." I view it more as a surveillance state.

On the whole, I think Angelicity deals with the motif of epic, professional repression. On a lower level of existence, I'm reminded of the studies where men say they don't feel emotions but test as having them in equal or more intense measure when you measure psychological arousal and adrenal stress. I view Angelicity as a narrative exaggeration of traditional, brutal, stoic masculinity— a higher, Heavenly masculinity carried to its extreme.

It's got insanely brutal, inhumane emotional expectations. Grace, as my lovely father pointed out, looks a lot like traditional view on virility; it’s powerful and heals all sorts of emotional and physical ailments, but it’s finite and prone to performance issues.

//

In the show, practically every angel we see onscreen rebels, and angels are a huge motif for ongoing Civil War -> "brother against brother."

Despite what Lucifer and Cas and Naomi say, most angels are shown to have their own ideas, and on the whole, are shown to be reckless, angry, wrathful, impulsive, incredibly petty, and emotionally volatile.

I think what tends to happen is people hear the party line about heartlessness and obedience, and that clouds them from what the series actually shows us again and again: angels rebelling left and right and being brutally beaten down and lobotomized for it. (The lobotomies don’t even work all the way!)

Angels have constant, ongoing Civil War because they disagree with each other, even when there's only a handful of them left (Ex: Dumah Vs. Naomi in season 14).

Cas is not unique. That's the tragedy of authoritarianism. He only THINKS he is.

Cas's tendency to think of himself as unique and to think of his dealings with other angels as being "like teaching poetry to fish," is why he reaches for tyrannical god power in the first place. He thinks that, because they don't agree with him, they somehow don't have free will. Which is… kind of a flawed premise.

It's very complicated...but I think the reality is that until recently, Cas was right there with them, beaten down and hammered into shape. Hell, roll back a few years, and he'd have slaughtered himself alongside the others.

//

I think back to Anna's insistence that angels can't feel and are heartless, which is itself contradictory because Anna wouldn't have fallen in the first place if she had been emotionless to start with.

I prefer that she fell to be "allowed" to experience the emotions she probably already had…and had brutally repressed over eons of military dissociation and totalitarian training.

//

Being a soldier wears on you:

We see that, the longer Dean is a soldier, the more he too begins to lose sight of what is right or wrong. Season 15 Dean is so distraught and lost that he vaguely resembles season 4 soldier!Cas.

CAS: "I don't know what's right or wrong, or if you passed or failed here."

//

I LIKE YOUR COOL IDEA!

i imagine heaven and angels like parasitic creatures while hell is leeches/fungi/deep sea type scavengers

Deep sea creatures and fungi are wicked cool. See, you have ideas! You should just write them. I'd read that. Deep sea creatures would make excellent demons too, what with the whole "absence of light" and being down deep and all.

There's something horrific about being alive on all levels, isn't there? We all have to consume something to keep going. One of my fave religious essays is called The Horror of Eating, and it posits that Gods are so scary to us because we naturally put them above us, with us as the food/sacrifice to them. Brrr. This is why the sacrifice motif appears so often.

I guess...as humans, we empathize and humanize our food sources, which is a big part of our incredible neuroses...

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Friday, July 29

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

In the Misty Moonlight (Giles, Buffy, G) by aadler

Summer's For the Girls (Buffy/Faith, NC-17) by Magnetism_bind

Lessons in Family (Faith/Tara, Tara/Buffy, R) by Dovahkin91

Wait for It (Willow, Kingdom Hearts xover, G) by OveliaGirlHaditRight

youtuber au (Buffy/Spike, Not Rated) by disco-tea

[Chaptered Fiction]

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Shadowed Suspicion Chapter 350 (Ensemble, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure xover, PG-13) by madimpossibledreamer

Burning Questions Chapter 1 (Spike/Riley, R) by kristosnikos

Cradlesong Chapter 7 (Buffy/Giles, NC-17) by froxyn

Different Lives Chapter 17 (Faith, Tara, PG-13) by BuffyBot3000

Chain of Ascension Chapter 39 (Xander/many, NC-17) by GraeFoxx

Murder and Coffee Chapter 20 (Buffy/Willow, Willow/Spike, R) by Evil_irish_batman

Something Blue's Clues Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, G) by cawthraven

Darkest Before the Dawn Chapter 47 (Buffy/Finrod Felagund, NC-17) by Luna_delCielo

Family Chapter 1 (Buffy, Sam Winchester, Supernatural xover, G) by dwinchester

Kaddara Hade Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by hostile17

He used to be Mine Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by DeamonQueen

All Tied Up Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, R) by EllieRose101. COMPLETE!

Use It or Lose It Chapter 28 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Dynamite

Waiting in the Wings (for a second chance) Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Tellhulla

Anything We Want Chapter 43 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by scratchmeout

Puppy Problems Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by SzmattyCat

Ad Meliora (Towards Better Things) Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Roboticghost

Overboard! Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by bookishy

When You Least Expect It Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by JayeMaru

Something Worth Dying For Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by violettathepiratequeen

This Year's Girls Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by the_big_bad

Big Night Out Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, R) by ashcrashed

Failed Plans Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by tbd

Family First Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, R) by GillO. COMPLETE!

Gone Switching Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by bewildered

Sweet Summertime Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, R) by B_Red

Unexpected, Unwanted, Unbelievable Chapter 23 (Buffy/Spike, R) by the_bronze

Cruel Summer Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, R) by scratchmeout. COMPLETE!

Out of Time: 1942 Chapter 31 (Buffy/Tome Riddle, NC-17) by Jonayla

[Images, Audio & Video]

Buffy drawing by aliennature

[Reviews & Recaps]

my rewatch of dead man’s party btvs 3x02 by spikesdru

PODCAST: 6.22 – "Grave" by Beep Me Pod

[Fandom Discussions]

Speaking of the dog motif by herinsectreflection

Are there any other lowkey Kennedy fans in here? by DrPepper450

"The mission is what matters" by Maximum_Arachnid2804

Finished season 1! by monicagellerr

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

ScreenRant: Buffy The Vampire Slayer: 10 Characters Who Deserved A Spin-Off

ScreenRant: Every Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Premiere, Ranked According To IMDb

[littlehollyleaf]

Ugh so, despite my attempts to move on I keep having random thoughts, so, lemme just jot down a few things that jump out at me re: subtext in 15.20

The dog still reads as a bit of a Cas mirror, so the fact Dean is the one who adopts him (and cuddles him in bed) is vaguely deancas subtext (but this gets lost when Sam adopts Cas after Dean's death so... idk)

If the cake-pie stuff is still a bi!dean thing, the fact Dean ends up shown only wanting pie and going so far as buying a whole box of different kinds feels a bit... subtextually pushing the idea Dean is straight and/or engaging in enforced heterosexuality... like, no cake, only pie, you know?

or even discounting the sexuality subtext, Dean's wants have been limited to one thing... or one family member, which brings us to...

Sam splating the pie in Dean's face... potentially a subtextual reference to how Sam is the force behind Dean's limited pie specific choices/desires? As in, we're back to Dean thinking that he can't have a life/wants/people outside of Sam?

(and/or hunting - maybe the pie represents Dean thinking he can only be a hunter and conform to a narrow minded idea of what that means he can do or be?)

...or if we're being more charitable, maybe his choosing to go to a pie festival is subtextually saying that he HAS choices/options, but he is choosing Sam/hunting/pie out of his own free will, because in the end he has discovered that Sam/hunting/pie is what he wants most and it's no longer being forced on him or limiting him because now he is actively choosing it for himself? (his crack about the pie fest (ie. Sam) being 'destiny' is therefore meant to be completely ironic, not just comedy ironic, cos he's actually genuinely opposing the concept of destiny by choosing this option...)

That might fit with the multiple varieties of pie he's shown to have - showing a life of... lol... a life of pie, ISN'T a narrow/limited one, because actually there are many different kinds of pie and ways to enjoy them, just like there are many different ways to be a hunter and have a life with Sam, so actually he's not trapped or limited at all and is in fact free to be himself, he gets to have his pie and eat it too (...but not his cake)

Only now we've got Sam=pie subtext, which becomes... unfortunate... when Sam splats that pie in his face, leaving Dean coated in sticky white stuff that he then... licks off... which... the subtext there just feels sexual, I can't escape that... Sam is doing something he 'always wanted to do' in splatting Dean with a creamy white pie, and Dean, in his freely chosen, unlimited but pie-specific life, decides to happily swallow down this creamy Sam-pie when it's unexpectedly offered (forced?) on him, I... HUM.

Then we've got the MotW vamps being clowns, which... is difficult not to read as subtextually about deancas fans, given the recent use of clowning and clown motifs we've adopted... meaning the subtext there, intentionally or not (and it very much may not be!), comes across as the concept of deancas and/or deancas fans being villainous/monstrous... something that sucks the life out of things and is harmful to Dean especially, since you know they kill him, and is responsible for keeping Dean and Sam apart...

But then there's the El Sol beers in Heaven - a brand that traditionally and really very consistently has been a visual, subtextual nod to things being fake/untrue/lies, so..... what's that about? A nod that this wasn't the intended ending? Just a nod to how Dean and Bobby are in Heaven and not the 'real world' of the living?

(and the fact the beer is linked to a memory about Dean and John muddies the water further - Dean says the beer is crap, but the sharing of it with John made it fantastic... stuff there about how a bad reality can be experienced/remembered as something good depending on context and personal perspective... an attempt to imply the finale is similarly crap/subpar? because just as cheap ingredients make a beer taste bad, so did covid restrictions make the finale cheap?)

(Only if the El Sol brand subtextually hints at artifice/lies, then there's an implication floating about there too that Dean's memory of the experience with John as 'fantastic' may not be accurate anyway... which does track with previous rose-tinted memories of John ofc... though doesn't seem to fit the wider context of the episode that seems generally forgiving and fond of John, giving him a paradise with Mary and prominent place in a family portrait in Sam's home)

ASIDE - WHAT IS UP WITH THAT FAMILY PORTRAIT IN SAM'S HOME, like, if it's a photo then how? and when? And if it's not, are you really telling me that Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester who has long been shown in contrast to Dean's nesting/homemaking instincts, went to the trouble to try and create a homely atmosphere in his new house by commissing a PAINTING so big and cheesy and... suburban...?

...sorry I got off track at the end there.

But OK.

K, that's it I'm done.

Just wanted to exorcise those thoughts so they'd stop niggling at me. Esp the Sam-pie ones I just... would like those thoughts gone now pls...

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x01 Watching Notes

The common pronunciation around these parts for “Nougat” is "Nugget" FYI

There's a secondary mission here to find out WHY DID DABB TWEET "BUTT SHAKE"?

Expectations: I'd say a good 95% new plot action nonsense to 5% mourning and we've seen all of it in fragments because they're spoiling the good stuff to lure us in; we're doing well as a season if Asmodeus isn't horrifically hammy and looks like he'll be able to carry all the Buckleming episodes they'll surely shove him in, and Jack is either not a pillock or is clearly *supposed* to be a pillock and the writing reassures us of that, although I did start to warm up to him in those tiny glimpses of promo stuff so we might be good there.

Aside from that I'm so superbly chill about this season (not worried about Cas, assuming Mary needs to get back as well, I'm just going on trust that Michael is well cast based on the actor's fanbase after scrolling his twitter the other day and the fact he seems cool in the promo stuff in a way that does not make me nervous unlike the other 2 new characters, and like no preconceptions about what I need this season to be) that I've actually achieved what scientists may have thought was unpossible... I made it through an entire hiatus embedded in the heart of a wanky fandom and I don't really have strong opinions or needs for about what's to come :P

FUCK ME UP, DABB.

-

OH THE TITLE CARD IS GOING TO BE GOOD THIS YEAR

I say after just seeing "the road so far" because that looks classic. I can't remember which other season it most looks like because I'm way too hype but it looks good.

Gah I have the Worst Song Comprehension in the entire world WHAT IS THIS? There's just a montage of TFW hugs of various types going on and

"I never opened myself this way" and Dean in 12x22 opening up Mary and then the FREAKING GRENADE LAUNCHER MOMENT okay so the recap definitely is telling us the meta theme of season 12 in case we missed is so we're all on the same footing for season 13. This family loves each other a lot and we're busting down walls.

I watched the rest of the "road so far" then said out loud, "No. NO." as it wound up nursery first, because "no" are they not even going to show - OH SHIT IT'S THE SAME VIDEO AS THE ONE IN THE SUMMER. NO. We're ending this thing on dead Cas and Dean.

If this is how they mean to play it, I think I wanna take back that "fuck me up Dabb" from the previous point.

-

OH NO  I got tagged in a post like this last week about the bit in 8x19 where Sam goes into Hell and there's the woman there in one of the cages who is like "we've been waiting so long! You finally came!" and like... did I think she meant she was mistaking Sam for Lucifer, and I always think YES that is a GREAT reading for that scene and fuuuuuuck me I should have reblogged that post and gone looking for links to some of the other cool posts about that because that's like one of the small redeeming things about 8x19 to me, because that is just such a good creepy amazing Sam thing and also I am still so freakin bitter that Lucifer was Nick in the cage because he should have looked like Sam and 11x09 and 11x10 should have been Sam v Lucifer!Sam moments because where the FUCK did Nick come from...

Anyway you can probably guess exactly how far I've got into this episode aka 1 entire one word line but it's already completely fucked me up.

If you all don't remember my season 12 experience, yes I am the biggest Destiel shipper on the planet but I actually get super hype for good Sam plot stuff and I dug every moment of the season 12 Sam stuff about his powers and everything and this is a confrontation that *I* personally think was built up and due because of the evolving way it's going - they confronted his past, the parts he had no control over happening to him in season 12, and I surmised that season 13 ought to be about the parts that WERE in his control, and Sam coming to terms with some other old mytharc stuff that happened to him, the way he managed to fuck up the world on a cosmic scale that Jack will have to come to relate to and he can use to guide Jack...

So yeah, this is not the first time this has happened to Sam, but this is definitely the much much better, more potent way it's happened and I am DELIGHTED and we're 1 word into the season :D

-

*Dean stares at Cas* *stares at Cas* *stares at Cas* Yep I need to go shoot something.

-

YEAH GIANT FLOATING EYEBALL TITLE CARD I KNEW IT.

-

Sauron is the big bad, but where is the one ring.

-

More seriously fuck yeah that gives complete continuity between my watching notes from 12x23 to this one because I am pretty sure I stopped them (aside from final whimpering notes to wrap up) thinking about Sam and Jack with yellow eyes and how this all looped back to the start. And how that was the key visual imagery, the way that Jack had yellow eyes and Sam's whole legacy of that stuff - things I've been screaming about since 12x12 and how it all came back into the story. I mean the scream I made in 12x12 when Ramiel flashed his eyes is a noise I've sort of low-key been making right until this point and I'm just so delighted about this imagery being given such a central place because it's not JUST Jack's eyes, even though he obviously has the most terrifying yellow fire floating around in his eyeballs, the colour is a motif that takes us right back to the beginning in terms of the story...

-

HECK YEAH MARY -

wait

this isn't a recap going to a Mary scene

LOL SUBTLE DABB

This nursery, as we were saying after season 12 ended, is just *soaked* in the vibes of the original nursery from the show... I kinda think the bad energy in that place would probably have given Dean that nightmare ANYWAY but it's symbolically super relatable to everything that's going on, especially as he's got to deal with re-losing Mary, and Sam's dealing with the massive heap of themes about trauma from the Pilot onwards...

I'm sort of vibing with 6x01 re-doing the burning on the ceiling thing to re-start from the start (8x01 also re-started from the start but borrowed different imagery and also addressed Sam's arc through the Trials stuff hence the 8x19 thing and also him talking about how pure he was in 8x21) - obviously we have been saying this all seems like a season 1 re-do in a weird way, especially taking the Winchesters back to basics (but in an awful way), and I think for Sam, just meeting Jack under those circumstances we ended the season on were enough to loop him back to the start, because baby in nursery and yellow eyes blah blah, but for Dean his trauma in the Pilot was Mary specifically (and 1x01 separated out him and Sam that his trauma was Mary, Sam's was Jess - which 8x01 borrowed for Kevin and his girlfriend, because Kevin was always a Sam mirror and had glowing golden god power eyes when he was activated in 7x21)...

So yeah Dean just got a top up of Mary trauma because the fucking WEATHER around here is pilot mirrors.

-

I would assume also probably maybe that was a semi-magical nightmare but I would not fucking put it past them to just show us Dean having a bunch of nightmares and like 7x05 maybe where he woke up from a dead Cas dream, we get stuff like that to show his absolutely wrecked mental state so I'll hold out hope it was kind of just Dean's imagination tormenting him, because we've only seen his nightmares extremely rarely in the absolute worst situations.

Just as a "the show is about more than sam and dean" stance, fuck the shipping, it needs to be so obvious on screen that Dean is suffering from losing Mary AND Cas in a way where it's obvious the dynamic can not just be Sam and Dean any more.

-

OH NO SEAGULLS

(Uh, I mean, they are by a big lake, but yeah they are a bad bad omen. I think there was meta about them circa 10x14, to give an idea of how bad hearing seagulls is.)

-

Wow Sam and Dean are having a lot of bad sleeps now.

-

"Wait, was that -" "Lucifer's son." look, Sam knows how Jack started his life. That he has the concept of "father". That it's about all he's said and all he's motivated by right now apparently. Sam sounds pretty freaked out and putting a LOT of weight on that concept - not "Kelly's son" or "the nephilim" - the fact Jack was born, and asked about Lucifer, and then walked buck naked out of the room and now we ain't got jack on Jack, like... This is a Lucifer related PROBLEM.

I just say, because I am pretty sure Sam's gonna be defending the kid in a couple of minutes so I need to lay out all the thoughts on what Sam knows and his headspace I possibly can as I go.

-

Oh nooo Cas's truck.

And I tell you what, I wrote a meta after 12x23 about how it was impossible to work out where Cas's truck was parked in the entire final conflict, and there was no fucking WAY the Impala and the truck were within shot of each other. Well guess fucking what. They are easily contained within frame now. I know you could just say minor continuity error but that's not why I'm yelling :P 

I'm yelling because I was writing about how the placement of their vehicles shows their closeness to each other or other metaphorical things (such as the no personal space parking job from 9x10 where Dean then pulled away and left the pimpmobile behind) and aside from the super dusty car, I am pretty sure I am saying that Cas's truck has appeared in visible shot because now it's not getting in the way of the action they can use it to symbolically show that Dean and Cas's vehicles are basically flanking the shot - but also they're so far apart and the house, representing Jack, and Kelly, and how Cas died, is between them.

-

(This meta business is like riding a bike :D)

-

Nakey Jack getting the same walk shot as Amara did.

Amara got it because creepy feet.

He's getting it because penis.

-

Hey there's the pirate place Dean's going to punch.

-

Holy shit I have never laughed so hard at the show in my entire life. I had a coughing fit that's scared the neighbour's dog.

(wait, good laugh - 10x15 still owes me a drink)

Salty Butt Combo sounds good anyway.

(this must be why Dabb said "butt shake", the fucker. The absolute fucker. I am going to kill him.)

-

I'm laughing on a meta level too (I mean, hysterically, out loud, but also meta) because especially in season 8 burgers were connected to humanity and Dean's return from Purgatory, and Dean has a history on the show of eating cheesebutts all the time for various reasons... I mean... This is liiiitterally turning Dean's favourite, metaphorically significant, food into butts.

I mean... do I just... run with it? I mean like... is this the new meta thing? We now have to associate Dean digging into a burger with eating ass? I mean what are you doing Dabb?

I actually have a headache now because I laughed too hard and too loud.

-

Please please tell me Jack comes into this place, accidentally kills these dudes, and leaves a trail of destruction that when their supervisor gets to the store to deal with it, the police are like... trying to deal with the bodies but also cracking up a little and finally she looks up and it's like... HIGH SEAS BUTT COMBO

I mean that's going to make it into the newspapers

-

Oh wait, the inventor of the Buttshake is the guy from the police station that was talking to Jack so he's going to at least make it out of this scene.

-

See, that picture of Jack with pants on was in the PR photos and I was like "naaah" and defended that Jack did not have pants on and people didn't believe - no one understood. I knew this was gonna happen and because I don't lay down too much spec and what good would "Jack wanders around buck naked for like the entire first quarter of the episode" have done anyway so I was just making fun of him for being fully grown and naked in the hope that the fact he was naked was a major character trait because it was one of like 2 we knew about him... Yeah I'm feeling vindicated on a crack spec I can't really prove, especially as I was joking that Sam shames him into manifesting pants but I mean... I knew. Guys, I knew.

This has gone from horror to stoner movie classic in about 2 minutes flat.

-

I fucking love this show.

-

ALL THE CREATIVE WAYS THEY HIDE JACK'S NAKEDNESS THOUGH.

I am gonna make a gifset if I can stop cry-laughing for long enough

-

"Hi baby! .... *How naked*?"

Yep.

-

I mean I think it's adorable that Jack wandered down to the nearest place with more people to make enquiries but this is also wigging me out a bit because I thought that the smart thing to do would be to give him like all the functioning knowledge for this world (I do remember a post going around Tumblr that babies learn like 6x Les Mis amounts of words in the womb) BUT start him from scratch but that it would be super hard to pull off, and essentially they've decided to do exactly what I thought was going to be the most intelligent handling of the situation but not exactly the easiest, and he seems to really have been born with a single motivation and the most basic understanding of the world that his little baby cosmic supercomputer brain is going to have to piece together the entire world from context cues and natural intellect to deal with the rest...

I'm all for it as long as they handle his progression well. And don't use him as the ... butt ... of the joke.

-

I assume we all know the butt thing was because Jack is naked and it was joking about the fact he's wandering about butt out but they can't show it so they're just like butt butt butt on the menu board instead.

-

Promo scene! Oh no! We're not thinking about it. Not over it from last night. Dean is piiiissed.

-

Sam saying he had it under control is interesting now we have seen the actual scene in question. Sam did not really have it under control. He was babbling uncertainly like, no I'm not your father and also btw that freaks me out because he HAS possessed me before and being mistaken for him is SUUUPER uncomfortable and he's the reason for like 100% of my trauma past and present, and you're freaking me out... And yeah, between scenes he's decided they can't hunt Jack, that even if he seems to be laser focused on finding his father there has to be hope for him. This context is important: That Sam knows Jack's motivation and what it MEANS on a deeply horribly personal level and is defending him anyway. (I mean that "anyway" in the context of what Sam might think or feel rather than from my perspective where I can see it all from space and obviously Jack is not just any of this and anyway he'll be hunting with them sooner or later and there's presumably hope for Jack in this world...) But yeah, Sam knows how it is, searching for your father, for one thing. Which, interestingly, costuming aside, I don't think there's been MAJOR John and Lucifer parallels (hilarious that Lucifer changed his clothes just in time) in the same way that like, God and John were paralleled at a major narrative level. But now Jack wants to find his dad, which is the season 1 motivation for Sam and Dean, and that makes Lucifer and John narratively paralleled.

I don't think Sam is necessarily defending that Jack came out the womb with a one track mind to find Lucifer (maybe he wants to kill him, we haven't asked the guy his opinion yet) but that of course he thinks Jack can be reasoned with, saved from himself, and Sam relates heavily to being given powers beyond your control, and that there's hope for Jack to have a normal-ish life etc. None of which can be accomplished by just killing him outright.

-

Dean's just mad because Cas is dead and none of this would have happened if not for Jack

There's literally NOTHING TO META over on the Destiel side of things

-

I am feeling the void that they just left Cas there while rushing out to deal with Jack but I guess he's such an urgent problem Cas can wait and the house is remote enough that the milkman isn't likely to come round and see Cas lying dead in the back garden.

-

"Before he hurts anyone else" - he barely hurt you guys, it's more like he banged you up a bit and it was obviously a terrifying display of power and you don't want him to do *even that* again but - I mean - Dean, honey.

-

those words are going to be my approach to him for a while I think :P

-

That sheriff car really pushing the Twin Peaks vibe just because of the mountains on it... Was comparing it last season... Watched Twin Peaks for the first time shortly before the finale and caught Dabb just outright stealing an entire line from one of its episodes.

-

Either the police station is super close or Jack has been unintentionally terrorising the guys in the pirate restaurant for like an hour while just staring at the sign. He's thinking really hard about ordering the salty butt combo.

-

So we're really pushing how creepy Jack is. I mean, duh, it's the first episode and the first like 5 minutes of his screen time so he'll smile scarily for us.

They definitely cast him well for looking like Kelly but also having a really evil looking smirk.

-

Oh no. Cas.

They said Dean put the sheet over him and he's indoors so I guess that scene just happened in between things although right now we have no context for that so unless the angels say they didn't move Cas inside and put a sheet over him we don't have anything but actor confirmation this was a thing that happened, which is, of course, meaningless currency but makes for good headcanons... 

I mean I paused it on his dead face and went "waaaah" so I need to watch the rest of the scene but this is where I'm at going into it anywho.

-

Nope, one angel had to ask which means they are investigating the house which meeeeans that this was how Dean left Cas and it's implied by the subtext that this is what happened in one of those "the subtext isn't an ineffable cloud of possible happenstance, they just didn't show it on screen so this fills in the blank for us" ways and I am not okaaaaaaaaay

Also we have them as our straw man angels - one saying he deserved better (LOL I HOPE ALL THE CAS STANS ARE HAPPY THAT'S BEEN SAID IN THE STORY) and one who is saying he didn't. Representing that Heaven is conflicted about Cas's actions and that some still revered him and some still loathed him.

-

Also the one who hated Cas called Kelly a "Brood Mare" so he's a dick and I hope he gets stabbed pretty soon because we know there's angel stabbings in this episode, and I just was not paying any attention whatsoever to them in the spoilers.

-

So the clothes Jack ended up in were spares from the police station. The kid who worked at the pirate place has come along with them because fuck responsibility (he is so the bad influence cool guy and I hope Jack kinda gets a little puppy love crush on him although he's calling Jack weird still...)

That statement that no one is weird but normal in their own way was really nice though. Positive influences around Jack! Yeah!

-

Hahaha they literally said "Lost and Found" for where the clothes came from. Subtle. Jack's lost and found - he's a spare thing left behind, to be collected by the original owner or taken by someone who needs them more.

I used that phrase for a fic title back in season 12 about Mary about how she had been lost and found - died and came back - but also how she felt lost in the world now and then was found again when someone who related to her situation bonded with her and - okay it just turned into Charlie taking Mary back to her place and them making out but the point is that's the emotional tone I was using the title for. I assume it also applies to Jack's emotional state, but he hasn't been "found" yet and I'm assuming Sam will do that for him, but I don't think they'll go back to their place to play video games, drink a few beers and learn the ways of luuurve.

(I know some people were (crack?) shipping them but even though Jack's an adult now and technically only like... well, the actor would be within the window to have a thing with Sam and for it not to be weird age wise, but the whole framing of it... Jack acting like a grown up baby... yeah. We'll see how it goes but the dynamic wider fandom has built for them has been with Jack as a child. The way I see it is more the intern dynamic if he joins up with TFW, but the way they relate to him will have to be as a child by necessity at least until he's demonstrated emotional and intellectual maturity to them, and even then I think the impression will linger for a while...)

that was a weird side note... these notes are a disaster. Look it's been MONTHS and I didn't do rewatch notes for season 10 over hiatus like I meant so I am out of practice at this.

-

I also took a short break to chat with Mittens to confirm I wasn't going crazy, that WAS the same song as the other video they released in the hiatus, and yep we got the Nothing Else Matters destiel music video as the season opener. No I haven't processed it yet :D

-

Oh gosh Jack remembers his mom (HI KELLY, RIP) and he says she's in Heaven (can't recall his surname), and that memory was basically the footage from the USB stick, so he's internalised that somewhere without watching it. It's 2 influences, good and bad - a pure perfect dead mom (booo tropes the show was supposed to have ditched dramatically via Mary) and a literal satan father who "should have been there" but wasn't - ironically removed from the narrative by the reformed pure dead mom from last season, Mary. These are the two biological influences on him, anyway. The 2 sides of his nature he may struggle with and the way the conflict may be framed for him.

Buuut and here's a thing that might be contentious. So he knew Lucifer was supposed to be there when he was born and that he has to find him? He seems to have had that low level awareness of the world around him even in the womb, or at least was born with messages or some sort of communication from Lucifer lingering in his subconscious. Lucifer seemed linked to him while he was in the womb and I suppose this confirms it may have run both ways. Bleh.

The Jack As A Blank Slate characterisation is good because it excuses his actions from season 12 as done without knowing intent as he's still figuring it all out now, but these lines do implicate him in the actions, by giving him a sense of at least semi-awareness, of having a missive from before he was even born, knowing that he was supposed to find his father.

I think that also goes with Kelly leaving him the USB stick with the message on it - he has a missive from both his parents. Kelly's of course being so positive and hopeful for him, and Lucifer just kinda... being threatening to his goodness by wanting to be anywhere near him.

-

OH GOSH and he remembers burning Dagon. He did have an awareness of what was going on towards the end of the pregnancy!

"I remember the universe screamed" well that would be opening the AU I guess

-

yeah the thumbprinting thing isn't going to do much good :P Blank slate imagery again - he's not on the system, he's new!

-

Oh boy the stoner movie kid is going to have a wild ride explaining this.

Jack's getting better at full sentences though.

-

*blink blink*

-

And that was the Invention of Sarcasm.

Or he was telling the guy how stupid he was like... I have a superior intellect. I know this is a chair and this is a floor and this is the planet earth. Thank you, moronic human who keeps asking me the most obvious questions ever, it's really helping me collect my thoughts and begin to understand my environment. Are all humans as stupid as you?

-

Uhoh, the "I'm hungry" did not bode well with Amara. But is this going to be a fake out? He didn't seem about to attack the guy for his soul, so is he just going to have a whole ton of junk food when we get back and the guy is like yeah I knew he had the munchies so I raided my stash of M&Ms I keep here and it's all good.

I really can't tell how much of Jack's story is Ominous Nephilim Shit and how much is Stoner Bro Movie Lols

-

Here's the context about the curly butt fries line and destroying the world. People took it literally and it always seemed like this would be the context that Dean was putting fake words in Jack's mouth because he does it ALL the time. Like the line about getting bored of croquet so you know what's really fun? MURDER. I love it when he does this. I need to make him do it more when I write him.

-

Anyway Sam understands Jack, he can guess his location. Dean is doubtful and *specifically* mentions torching Chicago I think because of the 5x21 reference to his pizza date with Death. I think that is actually a good comparison because cosmic being but one who was a good ally in his own massive cosmic way. It's a nice omen. Dean is being wrong/right with his sarcasm. It's complicated :P

The fact he is letting Sam go in there also means he doesn't think that Jack is in there probably because the shack is still standing. Sam is going to go find clues! But while they're sitting in the car and Dean's sending Sam into a shack alone I can't help but remember 2x21 which was of course where Sam got snatched in a fast food shack and Dean asked for pie and it aaaaall began. I also wonder why Dean punches the sign and that makes me think that something might happen to Sam somehow although I can't guess how.

-

I have never related to anyone more than Drunk Fries Girl except I've done it in reverse, just missing the deadline on hashbrowns in McD's and stomping out of the store instead of just ordering fries :P

-

Sam deals with the awkwardness of asking for a tall naked guy with a level of composure Dean wouldn't manage in a million fucking years.

That's the entire meta.

-

You were right, Sam!

-

Sam's asking after Jack as the FBI and it's a way to not have him act as his father on the phone. But the thought occurred to me and I wonder if it passed Sam's mind or if he's judged Jack's age that they're not terribly far apart - less than 10 years.

I don't think they're really playing into this comparison right now anyway - like it was just for the opening scene, or the sheriff would have asked, "are you his father" and put Sam into the awkward position and THEN have him say that he's an agent.

-

This is literally the best exchange in the entire show because Sam is having to pretend to be FBI while talking about Jack, with Fries Girl and Over Enthusiastic Pirate Guy watching, and his eyes just went to the cheesebutt menu and he saw it and he did not laugh on the phone. 

I think Sam is strong and brave and of pure heart and fuck the "trials" or whatever the fuck shows the measure of a man, he just passed through the fucking abyss and came out the other side because he didn't laugh at Cheesebutt.

And, look, I laughed at the cheesebutt thing and the way it reflects hiiiilariously on Dean and the burgers thing. We all laughed at it. But Sam just blinked off in short succession a gay accusation and the urge to laugh at cheesebutt like it didn't even fucking affect him and I am just

I

Dabb

what

-

At the end of 12x23 my only conclusion was "i have been mindfucked"

and I thought

maybe season 13 will be you know... normal

Dabb it has been 15 minutes and I am so fucked up about everything :P

-

And now we cut to Dean with his messed up knuckles. Did he just go punch something off-screen?

(You know, the pirate sign that he punched in the promo for a totally random out of nowhere example of punchable things in the vicinity)

I hope he's not coping so badly that we're getting it in angsty flashbacks because that blood was not there before. And angsty flashbacks basically mean Destiel is canon.

OH NO FRIES GIRL IS HERE.

The drunk are an open and friendly people... Is she going to get Dean to open up? She's literally infodumping her life story on him because she's been up all night and her feet hurt and no one will give her fries, and I think she's about to fucking put the moral of the season in Dean's head somehow I don't know yet because I have literally paused because I was contemplating removing the dash between me bitching at Dabb for the wonderful fucked up episode and this commentary on it :P

Yep she told him that she punched Becky's stupid Elsa poster (what is Dabb's deal with Elsa from Frozen? Does he have a small daughter we don't know about that inflicted Let It Go on him in a loop? :P) and lit all her stuff on fire and started rambling about just burning the world down in her rage.

And then called Dean sensitive to Sam and this is amazing because her drunk wisdom sees right through his shit. I love fries girl.

-

I LOVE Fries Girl, she wrote "bitch" on the car :D :D :D

was THIS why Baby is all dusty? People are writing rude words all over everything this episode. I mean it's like a theme. A theme of desecration and burning the world down around you and who gives a flying fuck about consequences - you can change all the menu items to Butt because your mom's the sheriff and banging the guy who owns the restaurant or whatever, and if your roommate is a bitch, burn down all her things.

I mean then she writes it on the car which is sort of ominous about all their stuff being burned up.

I mean Dean did have that dream about Mary

He's lost Cas, that's his world burning down around him.

-

It's... Look, it's weird they have put off whatever Dean did in the intervening time Sam was eyeing up the cheesebutt menu to show later because we know we see it later because there's a hanging "what happened to your knuckles" question and we saw the clip in the promo. It's a storytelling decision to delay this, and we just see Dean dealing with it by drinking, splashing some alcohol on the cuts, and that's that for now.

What a fucking mess. Dean. Honey.

I suppose to keep the action flowing we deal with Jack but Dean's emotional story is running alongside it and it's being put off, held back... but it's not being held back forever. It's going to be opened up to us. But for NOW we just see kinda what Sam and outsiders see - the same thing I was meta-ing about the promo scene, about how they kept us outside the car for that conversation, about how we're not being allowed into Dean's grief and not being able to name Cas is another thing, another delay, another inability to confront it, just... we're outside, we're watching Dean struggle from afar. From Drunk Fries Girl POV.

-

This episode is fucking magnificent.

-

Maybe Jack is eating Clark, which is the name apparently of the kid.

-

Or are they laughing?? I think I heard laughter?

-

LAUGHTER and the munchies fake out.

I love you Dabb.

This literally says EVERYTHING about Jack and I now trust him completely.

-

Jack's first part of the story has gone from ominous to what a fucking cutie. He might not actually be a stoner but he's adorably sort of mascot-y to this guy and it's just hilarious that he can be like fuck the system I want candy, let's misuse my powers to get more candy because I love nougat. I mean I was wrong that the world would be saved in 13x23 because of trousers because that was a joke but I am legit thinking that this Human Things redux arc for Jack is going to save us all because fucking nougat. And that's a serious spec you can hold me accountable for at the end of the season.

The fact they're sitting on the floor giggling together is just sweet. Jack is learning about friendship so I doubt he would hurt Clark intentionally now, so if Clark does get hurt by Jack it's going to be a tragedy. Maybe something to show Jack how dangerous his powers are and make him want to be more careful and respectful to human life. I think Clark maaay be in the firing line as an adorable toy that gets mangled because Jack doesn't know how rough he's playing >.>

-

Also Jack you should probably not eat so much candy, because you'll get sick.

-

OH NO JACK. Is angel radio messing with your head?

-

OH NO he hurt the sheriff!

-

OH NO this is how he does the lights blowing walk? IT's AWFUL. PROTECT MY CANDY LOVING GIANT MAN BABY.

-

SAM TASED HIM

NO

-

I am so upset. I apparently am extremely protective of my Nougat and angel radio hurts him and they're yelling about him and want to kill him and he's sensitive too :<

(whatever wizardry Dabb wove with the stoner movie subplot worked.)

-

Sam and Dean are not hailed as heroes for stopping Nougat, they're arrested to and given the first ever proper search to confiscate all their guns and knives by a cop who knows what the fuck she is doing. Now Dean has to answer for themselves, using his real name and actual job. He's not got a fuck to give.

-

She asks him if he's a superhero and some part of Dean just crumbles away inside and he says no. In 9x07 especially there was a strong theme of Dean being a superhero and Thinman also had superhero comparisons to them and it was part of the shine of the job wearing off - one of the more subtly horrible Dean moments in season 9 is that superhero action figure melting on the hob yelling "I clobber evil!" into a horrifying mangled sound. I think I just saw his face convey the exact same symbolic awfulness just in his eyes. Fuck you Jensen.

Note to self: gif that if somehow or other someone else hasn't yet.

I mean it's all shattered because the illusion is gone, Dean has nothing left to live for, he's just a guy doing a job. There's no meaning, no personal glory, no one to do it FOR. He's just the tool that gets it done because it has to be done, because what fucking benefit does he get from any of it if the job is also just watching everyone he loves die. That doesn't make him feel like a superhero that makes him feel like total bleak nihilism where you might as well just be upfront and dead inside and tell the truth because what's even the point of lying.

This episode has a lot of nihilism but some of it is fun buttburger style and some is killing me inside :P

-

Also Dean had to confirm angels are real, and the look on his face when he does THAT is ALSO AWFUL. Because everything is awful.

All that baggage where confirming angels are real he knows what people think. He knows what HE thought. He knows how what he thought was different from what other people thought about angels (see: the entire conflict between him and Sam in 2x13) and what angels eventually became to him. That one angel WAS watching over him. That there was one who broke the pattern and was ... Cas.

Help.

-

I tell you what I thought while I was getting dinner... This is the first time I've felt like we're in a show run by the guy who helped create Plucky's.

This is the tone. This is the exact right mouthfeel for Dabb era. This is what it SHOULD be.

-

FINALLY the Sam and Jack confrontation we deserve!

Sam is getting through and chatting! Jack is talking about why he was scared which is nice and symbolic about sharing and caring feelings for better communication and understanding!

Sam's still scared of being in the same room as Jack, flinching when he moves, much like when he's around Lucifer. He's legit scared of a thing and Sam is the biggest badass hunter in the world (like, no offence Dean, you have an impressive and showy history but in terms of brute strength and raw badass mofo power it's Sam :P He's Sam Fucking Winchester and you have a much more personal, over-dramatic flair to the big kills and such)

Jack moves forward intently because he doesn't know that this much eagerness is a trait stamped out of adults, and sits cross-legged, childish, but still imposing. He's learned cross-legged is a fun way to sit and I'm really liking the choices here to make him both naive and powerful.

-

He's fucking sitting with the Mr Burns hands i knew it i knew this was going to be a trait of his, I called it from like 2 promo pics. God damn I'm good at reading body language from just a few stills :P He's exactly what I was expecting but in full 3D animation.

It's just... a cute weird trait. He doesn't know what to do with his hands so he just rests them where they are and lets them hang, because he doesn't have any tics or mannerisms. He's mannerismless. He's so new he hasn't got the faintest trace of social anxiety. This is a raw, undamaged soul.

I am going to weep when Nougat gets hurt in the bits that make him so sweet.

-

See now he's apologising for hurting people.  He sounds so confused when he says "I'm sorry" like he's sounding out the concept but the great thing is he's learning 1000 miles an hour. Anna told Cas he doesn't know what it is to be sorry and Cas still struggled with it in season 7 in the "playing sorry" game and only in 9x11 expressed that he truly understood empathy and human emotion now. Jack tries on an emotion for size, discovers it, and now seems to be fairly earnest about it.

-

Sam: *blink blink*

Sam was RIGHT. <3

-

Hahahah he says Kelly is a part of him. Another point for me! That was one of my specs for how he got to learn English and concepts so fast - that the reason it's fatal to birth him is because he's going to not just absorb the basic baby stuff like nutrients and stuff but he's going to suck her dry of facts and concepts and that's what destroys her. It's like what Amara did but far more complex.

Damn, I'm sorry you had to die for this Kelly, this is a pretty terrible idea in some ways. I better not overthink it.

He just said that his powers are him but not him - he sees them as something other from himself. The whole deal that he needed to be born powers and all, that taking the grace was taking a part of him - yeah. The Cas argument about his grace too, that it can be removed from him and he'll still be Cas, the grace is just power... If Jack sees it as a separate part of himself, a "Not Me" part of himself... That's a huge thing.

-

Oh my fucking GOD He thinks Cas is his FATHER OH NO OH NO OH NO OOOH NOOO.

(Also thanks a LOT people reading along with me for not telling me. Look, the analysis about Sam thinking it was Lucifer and Dabb's BIG Nougat Fake Out build up were all like... how it was meant to be read :P I guess that's why they backed off the father thing for Sam immediately after using it in the one place it would hurt the most.)

I mean Cas did basically act as the co-parent with Kelly and I am pretty sure our Nougat has some lines crossed here and OH MY GOSH DABB YOU MAGNIFICENT FUCKER

See when I said they were making Jack look SUPER FUCKING CREEPY when he was naked at the drive in obviously that was a fake out because I knew he was gonna be hunting with them later but oh my fucking fuck de fuck I want to go back and watch Jack's bits all over again where he's wandering around naked (as Cas is wont to do) asking for his father because FUCK.

He's born as Cas and Kelly die and now he's wandering around asking for Cas and that whole opening, that whole build up where he seems sinister... He remembered Cas all along... Oh gosh I said some things about him back there... I should go back to that scene immediately.

...

I nearly cracked a fucking joke that Jack doesn't have a last name just like Cas and it turns out that scene was a joke about Jack not having a last name because Cas is his father and HE doesn't have a fucking last name.

I hate everything.

"I'm trying to find him. I have to find him" YEAH SO JACK IS ON THE "WHERE IS CAS" TEAM AND THERE'S ANGELS SAYING CAS DESERVED BETTER, I THINK DABB HAS BEEN READING THE BLOGS AGAIN. 

Jack picked Cas to be there to be his parent and guide when Cas said that thing about being his guardian to show him the righteous path and Jack heard it from the womb and was like YES I CHOOSE YOU PIKACHU and that was that, Cas was his father now. Found family in the extreme. Who is the best family, the good family? I'll have that one please.

Oh gosh and now it's sadder that the sheriff was asking for a phone number or address because Cas HAS those. He has a HOME.

...

Anyway back to the Sam and Jack scene, which I already watched through but I want to watch AGAIN DAMMIT.

Gosh this is magnificent though because it puts Cas so squarely in the middle of everything - even though he's dead he's Jack's focus and he's Jack's moral centre and everything that is good about Cas is what Jack wants to beeeeeee and oh my gosh is he going to choose the Winchesters to be his new guardians because they were Cas's family? HELP ME.

-

I'm still kinda not over Jack completely becoming Kelly in the womb and being born by sucking her goodness out from the inside.

What a godawful parenting metaphor/commentary on the mother's sacrifice.

-

Oh and the door to the other world thing as the lead in to talking about his father? I was so sure it was going to be about Lucifer and then -

oh god I am in pain.

Because he diverts from talking about the portal to talking about needing to find his father to protect him and I was like A: well you need the portal for that and B: nooo, Nougat, you don't need that fucker in your life! and then -

oh.

Ow.

-

Anyway Sam's face while talking about Cas is just... ARGH. And Jack's so earnest and happy about Cas protecting him and how he had to grow up

-

And then poor Nougat's face when Sam tells him Cas is dead and he's SO ANGRY. And THAT, my dear Nougat, is how you get to the lovely position of being furiously vengeful against your birth father in order to avenge your chosen father and I am delighted.

Cas is Jack's Bobby.

-

OH NO Clark has gone out to smoke with headphones. He's so gonna get angel murdered if Jack's not gonna kill him (because he is a soft squishy nougat person) and then Jack's going to be even more hurt.

STOP HURTING JACK.

-

FRIES GIRL IS AN ANGEL.

-

THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING.

-

SAM, TELL DEAN ABOUT THE CAS'S SON THING.

HE SAID LUCIFER'S SON, THAT'S NOT HELPFUL.

I suppose Sam doesn't want to convey that to Dean because he knows how Dean is with concepts he hates because he's currently flippantly talking about killing "Damien" out back rather than engage with the subject matter, but tbh I think bringing up Cas would be such a knock to the feels that Sam might be able to get in the line that "this kid seems to have a Cas-guided morality" while Dean is still emotionally picking himself up.

-

AHAHAHA Dean said "that won't do jack against her" - he's still using "jack" as a phrase

-

Dean's Becky... what a surprise :P Maybe Fries Angel writing "Bitch" on the car wasn't subtle enough.

The angels find Dean an annoying roommate whose drama they're always having to deal with.

Mittens just reminded me I wept about 9x07 to her and the poor melting action figure and how the angels want to burn Dean down. I am not okaaaay.

-

OOOH we're getting angel radio now because Jack's our in!

I don't think their eyes normally light up to communicate with it but new season new rules and this must be a mechanic we're dealing with more than just this one example.

Poor Clark - Jack briefly had a friend, learned to sit cross legged and eat nougat from him, and now his friend who made him laugh is dead. It's a HARD LIFE being a Winchester.

-

Also the main Winchesters are getting smashed up

Wait Dean just got back up with STYLE. Nice fight

-

Hey Clark is still alive-ish... Maybe Jack can heal him.

-

OH NO BANISHING HURTS NOUGAT TOO.

That was some great quick thinking by Sam.

Guess walls affect it or Fries Angel was too far away.

-

Fries Angel needed to stick around to deliver some Destiel exposition that she knows Dean's first thought to "Jack can do anything" was not "I will use him to reopen that portal and get mom back" but "I will get him to resurrect my dead angel" and just immediately goes from that to crushing Dean about Cas's death

"Castiel, he's dead. All the way dead. Because of you."

That is.. the worst line

-

"Or what, Other One?" Jeeeze the angels really do have more of a beef with Dean about the whole Winchesters thing for some reason. That really means in a couple of lines of exposition that every time heaven has mocked Cas about The Winchesters they really have meant Dean... Just, you know.. remember who wrote the eeny meeny miney mo scene for a sec, back when he had to be subtle about Dean calling Cas but that just being a random happenstance to what the angels were talking about, essentially :P

-

Oh no she stabbed Nougat!

I assume he doesn't die because... you know.. spoilers.

-

He's got his own Cas-like pull the blade out moment, but... Wow.

-

HOLY SHIT SOMEONE SAID THE LINE "I'M FINE" ON THIS SHOW AND MEANT IT

IT IS A NEW ERA

NOUGAT IS THE HERALD OF BETTER TIMES

-

Poor guy is stunned and confused and a little hurt though.

-

Oh no Clark is fine but going to hospital. I mean I assume this means doctors will help him. His mom is telling him he'll be brave and so on.

-

Poor Nougat is so sad about how horrible this world is. Cas isn't here to protect him and Sam and Dean just did a moderately adequate job at fending off the angels while getting the shit kicked out of them because angels are scary and powerful again.

-

Sam tries to bring up the keeping Jack thing again and Dean's like yeah we can keep him but he's evil so I guess that means you clean up the mess a la taking a puppy home? 

Dean's still convinced Jack is evil and brainwashed Kelly and Cas - it's kinda more terrifying that he BECAME Kelly and absorbed her, and I do think he chose Cas to be his father and none of it was malicious, and they gave him the love and promise of protection he needs to be good and all and it's a billion times more nuanced than Dean thinks... He's being protective of Cas, depressed about their life and their chances... I think he's going to be pretty wrong about Nougat because from 12x19 it was obvious he had chosen Cas BECAUSE Cas was good and would protect him. Even when he didn't think he could do it himself. So I think Jack, uh... motivated Cas... because he wanted him... Like, I still think Jack did shit to Cas because he did creepy shit to Kelly which we're apparently going to move on from because he is an adorable squishy guy who I want to follow with a blanket and a stick to beat off people who will wear him down. But yeah, 12x19 is super weird and I don't *like* the method Jack acquired his mom and dad, even if I do think that he's not evil and the end result seems extremely positive if he popped out the womb determined to find Cas, and has a Cas-centric morality. Loving Cas is obviously the good and best thing you can do on this show and it's vindicating in spades he's a nice guy because he loves Cas and considers him a father for the protection he offered.

(Still think if he was pure good to start with he'd have SAID "hey I plan to be born a full grown adult, you don't need these diapers" but that WAS what caused him to open the rift so maybe his attempt to warn Cas went astray... :P)

But yeah I still find Jack "choosing" Cas to be his father and to create that bond out of nothing, almost instantaneously, to be a little suspect in the happenstance of it, even if as I've been saying all along I have been completely open to him turning out to be, well... Nougat.

-

But Dean doesn't care, he wants to kill Jack. "At least the only people he can hurt there are you and me" WOW DEAN.

WWWWOOOOOOW.

-

OH NO OH NO OOOOH NOOOOOOOOO O OoOOOOooooOOOooo o Sam is saying "are you sure about this Dean? It's Cas" - I assume in reference to burning him rather than burying him and Dean's gonna be like, Fries Angel said he was dead as dead. 

I don't wanna see it.

"You don't think I've tried that" OH NO

Here's the flashback! Told you it was coming! (You have all seen this episode no one is mad enough to wait 18 hours just to watch for the first time with my notes) But yeah as I was saying, sidelining Dean's emo stuff to focus on the action, to set it aside, to put us away from it, to keep it back for when it would hit most. To do some god damn STORYTELLING around here. Some fucking ardfgjhlsksdfhjklslhfdjqp storytelling. That when all the action is done, when Dean has been ground down into a fucking paste by this day, the day of having to come to terms with the loss of Cas, when we know he went off to have some private punching things time and Sam was being the least gay to possibly gay in the comic stoner movie side of the story, Dean was having a moment SO POWERFUL that it could ONLY be conveyed to us by not showing it happening until we were deeply, truly, in the context of Dean mourning Cas and where we could focus on that with nothing left to distract us that this is the Worst.

-

.... I have been sitting here not pressing play for over 10 minutes

-

OH NO

I have paused it immediately

because they used the camera angle from Baby

the Roadhouse one

and the one from the fight where Cas was on the phone

-

so uh

Add hysterical weeping to the things this show makes me do because I was one stoic snarky hahaha isn't this ridiculous Jack planned to adult all along so the diapers thing was a massive prank kinda person and then bam Dean went out back to pray and I was scream-crying and then he said Cas was his everything and I am never going to be chill again

-

Okay, Chuck… or god, or whatever. I need your help. See, you– you left us. You LEFT us. You went off. You said… You said the earth would be fine because it had me… and Sam, but it’s NOT, and we’re NOT.

We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back. Okay? You’re gonna bring back Cas, you’re gonna bring back Mom, you’re gonna bring ‘em all back. All of ‘em. Even Crowley.

’Cause after everything that you’ve done, you OWE us, you son of a bitch. So you get your ass down here and you make this right, right here and right now.

Please. Please help us.

-

Thanks Mittens.

So.

Uh.

-

First name basis with the guy upstairs: this is a personal appeal in case he ever actually cared. (Spoiler alert: I don't think Dean is going to come out of this with a better opinion of God)

*I* need your help. Not we, *I*. This is on Dean's behalf for Cas.

He brings up the line which we went into Dabb era on and I ripped to shreds critically at the time that Chuck ever put that burden onto Dean because he has some broad ass shoulders but they are not big enough for the world and his whole problem is he's always been carrying it in the first place so Chuck didn't do SHIT to make him feel better AND NOW DEAN IS CRITIQUING THE CARETAKERS OF THE EARTH IDEA. THAT IT SHOULD NOT BE HIS BURDEN. MAYBE NOT BECAUSE HE CAN'T DO IT BUT BECAUSE HE SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO DO IT. He was singled out as the firewall between light and dark but he doesn't feel like a superhero. He doesn't clobber evil. He's being STRIPPED DOWN AS A PERSON. WHO EVEN IS HE. WILL DEAN QUIT HUNTING? JESUS CHRIST, I SAID THAT LINE IN 11x23 WAS AWFUL FOR DEAN BUT I DIDN'T THINK DABB WAS GONNA GO *THERE*

And he says the world isn't fine - and they're not. Their emotional state reflects the world. The centre of the universe thing, in the storytelling, makes the world reflect Dean. His misery or happiness is on a cosmic scale. This tangledupness of him in the middle of it all is killing him because the world will be in danger and that can't all land on him. He can't be the Atlas of this world. But he is. OH how he is. But this isn't a world with superheroes. Just HUMAN GUYS DOING THEIR JOB.

And then the transition. The terms and conditions. The "you have given me a fucked up burden so pls unfuck it and here's how" swinging around from "everything" to "him". The implicitness of it all. The... The fact everyone knows it's about Cas. It's not about Mom. It's not about Crowley. He can say their names. He couldn't say that Cas was dead. Fries Angel immediately identified it. Cas is the answer to all the questions, where all roads lead. And they've come back to the house where he died, FOR Cas, and Sam asks about praying and Dean has already asked and got no answer, already been told Cas is permadead, and THIS is where we deliver the bombshell. Everything flows into "him".

Cas is Dean's everything.

And yeah he wants Mary back and fuck it fuck you God fuck everything just fucking include Crowley to because why the fuck not, you owe me. All that pointless stupid death and loss, it's enough to make me feel bad that Crowley is gone.

And oh the wank over the summer he would ask for Crowley back too (and I smacked the desk and hooted with laughter, with tears still in my eyes, reeling from the "everything" line because I called the way Dean would ask for him back. I knew it!), it just... Even Mary doesn't compare because she's tacked on in the repetition, the clarification that everything is him is Cas. And it's totally fine for Dean to ask for these others he's lost back, for them to be in the same sentence as Cas, because yes he lost them and it hurts and it's awful, but there is a very special awful reserved for Cas. The kind of awful where Sam has to pause and ask Dean if he's sure, if he doesn't want to find a way to bring him back. And we ALL know we're not supposed to bring people back because there's consequences. We're all adults in the room, they both have done it, seen and FELT the consequences for having it done TO them. But Sam knows. He just knows what happens when it's someone like Cas. And maybe we don't have any more bullshit, we just ask politely and carefully if this is going to be a "bring them back at any cost" situation, and how can I help?

And then at the end of the prayer Dean cracks out the exact look and angle of expression for his Plea To God face that he has used... once. In 5x14. When utterly at the end of his rope. This is what losing Cas has brought him to - the lowest point, the one back in season 5 that was a danger to the guardianship of the world lumped on Dean's shoulders, because it was where he was when he nearly said yes to Michael, the despair cycle he couldn't deny any more at the time... Yeah, this has kind of seen and waved at season 7 on the way to hurtling all the way back to the Worst Dean Has Ever Felt To Date.

-

Nice.

-

And Dean has given up all faith in God ever helping them or caring about them.

-

OH NO

NOUGAT

Sam has taken him to see his dead mom. :(

Time to grapple with the concept of loss.

*beeps her big toe*

Oh Nougat I truly feel bad for you now. Look at his big soft face. He consumed her to gain his life and powers and his intelligence and his GOODNESS and oh no that means he's gonna feel baaad about it.

-

But Dean is downstairs with Cas, alone. Can this episode get any fucking worse.

-

THOSE SERIES OF ACTIONS QUALIFY AS WORSE I AM WEEPING AGAIN.

Oh god Dean.

You should have told him.

You should have fucking told him.

-

Oh Nougat you... sweetie. He has no clue what to say. :(

Sam tells him to say thank you, because he devoured Kelly, and to say sorry.

-

Oh Sam, he's crying for Cas as well.

-

OH NO Dean's so defeated about Mary it's just... UGH.

I assume these are the first things he says today where he gets immediately proven wrong - I assume the last scene will be a hop across the universe lines.

"They're all gone"

This is simultaneously the best Sam stuff in 1000 miles of canon and the worst Dean episode ever and I am in agony.

-

Yep that billisecond of footage was completely right. Sam is sad, Jack, who we didn't see, is struggling sweetly with the concept of death and what it means and how to act and feel right now, and Dean... has checked the fuck out.

-

RUN, MARY

-

I LOVE HER.

-

FUCK YOU LUCIFER BTW

-

Ugh her face is like mine when he says he needs her. The shot looks like the fucking Titanic poster. I'm assuming they do not get very far before Michael gets involved, though.

I'm gonna go back to ugly-crying about the rest of this.

-

This is Dabb's best solo episode hands down. I laughed, I cried, I struggled with the complex philosophy of being human and if you should consume your mother from the inside out in order to be born as a full-grown man.

I think I'm keeping Nougat.

[soullessjack]

ok so carried on from this post theres a specific tag i wanna elaborate on which says ‘[jack] isn’t a pacifist he actually has a very complicated relationship with violence’ in relation to how he’s usually (mis)characterized by the fandom.

so first, Jack isn’t a pacifist. pacifism is a total opposition to all war and violence, and a belief that it is never justifiable for any reason or circumstance. He might be averse to violence as a first response or reaction, and he’s frequently shown to want to help the person before anything else—especially people he finds sympathetic or similar to himself (ie Mia Vallens, Sylvia)—but he’s not averse to it altogether.

Jack seems to really only be against violence when it’s used against innocent or undeserving people, including himself. Like in S13, he has no problem using his power to force an angel to stab themself with their blade or going to war with Michael and killing thousands of angels in his army for roughly 6-8 months (and we must remember, it was an effective genocide before he decided, completely out of the original plan, to kill Michael and made it a war) but he still has a total meltdown over accidentally killing an innocent security guard and almost strangling someone who did nothing wrong like he’d assumed. In Ouroboros he states that anyone who could hurt/kill an innocent person is a monster, even if they’re human, which is probably the clearest establishment of his moral code the show could offer.

I think Jack’s particular aversion to violence or even general aggression/anger is also caused by the fact that he, at three days old, was told by Sam that he would need to be kept from hurting other people while his powers were still largely uncontrollable (and therefore, still making him a threat and “evil” if he couldn’t do that). He’s also seen for himself what his power/his overreaction inadvertently causes for other people–like throwing Sheriff Barker into the vending machine (which he apologizes for later)—and is blatantly scared of it at first, so I think it makes a lot of sense that he prefers nonviolent behavior as an initial or default response. However, pacifism is still defined by the belief that no circumstance or reason whatsoever can justify an act of violence, which directly goes against how Jack personally feels about and uses it.

Going back to Ouroboros, he personally defines a “monster” as anyone who would willingly harm or enjoy harming someone who doesn’t deserve it, even if they aren’t actually a particular species of monster. And going back to S13, he has no problem murdering Michael’s army or even torturing Michael himself (which he specifically does because Michael “hurt his friends, hurt his family.” Ergo, Jack does believe in using violence, so long as it’s only used as a justified defense, and I think that is also a part of why him torturing Nick so horrifically is meant to land on us as Something Ostensibly Wrong. Did Nick deserve it? Yes. Mary isn’t even upset about him being killed; she just halfheartedly tells Jack “not like that.” Nick deserved it, but he is still barely a threat to someone like Jack (which everybody knew)—and because he isn’t a veritable threat, none of what Jack does to him can actually qualify as a “defense.”

It’s violence for the sake of violence, with a personal grudge for motivation, and while it’s shown a lot throughout SPN, it hits a lot harder coming from Jack specifically because he, again, is generally averse to [ab]using his power like that—even against other enemies. He believes in necessary and defensive violence and acts accordingly, which makes the completely unnecessary violence he uses against Nick more disturbing; it’s not about defending his loved ones or even stopping a nefarious plot anymore (he literally banishes Lucifer within seconds of getting there). It’s just about making someone suffer and enjoying it. In Absence we also get the vague implication about Jack’s particular fears and insecurities: he’s afraid that he isn’t really loved or wanted for himself, but rather that he’s valued for being “the muscle to take out enemies,”—that he’s nothing more to the Winchesters than a pet monster and easily discardable if he’s no longer useful to them.

On the flip side of that, he’s also canonically very happy to be wanted, needed and helpful to his family/friends—which is to say, again, he’s perfectly fine using violence as a justifiable defense that serves his family (which is also why he chooses to burn Nick to death after Sam indirectly wishes it on him, and why he’s happy to murder all of Dumah’s targets under the guise that it would make Sam and Dean happy). Once he realizes the truth and horror of his actions, however, he tells Dean that he is a monster, by his own definition. But how exactly is this complicated, you might ask? Well I’m glad you did, because I’m getting to it. Throughout his entire short-lived life, Jack has had to be painfully aware of the damage he can and does cause, and what it means for how he’s perceived and the ever present debate about his “true” nature.

I can’t find it now and probably won’t bother looking, but i had another post about how Jack inwardly perceives himself and wants to be perceived in return, particularly when he’s perceived as a threat. To summarize: because of his particular moral code, Jack inwardly knows he would never [want to] use his power against his family or friends, and is therefore not a threat to them, and therefore does not want to be perceived as one despite the danger he still poses with the potential alone. The eggshells that people walk around him are solely based on the fact that he has immense potential and capability to hurt them, all prevented by his simple continuous and impermanent choice to not hurt them.

The only thing standing between them and everything he’s ever done to their enemies is the fact that he considers them friends and has no reason to want to hurt them, and that’s exactly what Jack himself personally lives by. It’s the same blind trust that Sam and Dean have built with Cas; they know what he can do, and they know when he would or wouldn’t choose to do it. It’s a mutual understanding that “I know you can hurt me but I care about you enough to trust you not to do that,” and “I know I can hurt you but I care about you enough to not hurt you and Im glad you trust me to not do that.” I also mentioned it in the post that in Last Holiday, Jack doesn’t deny it when Mrs. Butters says that he’s insanely powerful; he does, however, deny her saying that Sam and Dean should be afraid of him, because “[he] would never hurt them.”

Insanely powerful? ✅

Potentially dangerous? ✅

A threat to be feared? ❌

(This is also what makes Mary’s death by Jack and Sam and Dean’s subsequent actions exceptionally tragic on both sides; their mutual trust is inadvertently, yet still effectively, broken. Jack has also effectively gone against his own morality by harming people he loves and people who don’t deserve it, and now in S15 is struggling with the loss of said trust and the need to earn it back).

That, my hypothetical audience member, is the complicated part. Having to find a middle ground between necessary, defensive, justifiable violence that his surrounding community would approve or appreciate, and the completely unnecessary abuse or misuse of power (ie violence) that would register him as an evil monster and/or a threat to be put down for the justifiable greater good. There’s also the additional middle ground between presenting and maintaining the image of himself as docile and non-threatening (the behavior of which is hugely infantilized by the fandom), while also still being able to defend others with the same violence that could easily lead to him being seen as a threat.

in conclusion (1): Jack is not a pacifist but he has an extremely complicated relationship with violence and the fluctuating justifications surrounding it which he must meet in order to continuously be perceived as safe and trustworthy in spite of his capabilities.

In conclusion (2): this is the truest of jack true forms:

thank you for coming to my yap session, don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you on the way out 🫶

[floralmotif]

Color, Cages and Mary (12.12 spoilers)

I have a more general meta in the pipeline for this episode but it requires me to watch Reservoir Dogs, so it’ll be a bit.  I just wanted to touch on something I noticed while watching the episode that intrigues me: The use of color surrounding Mary (and Cas but more Mary) this episode.  This episode kind of cements one of the previous ideas I had that color in SPN represents character aspects and sort of calls both to that character and to a specific trait simultaneously. Like Mick and Cas both carrying brown and yellow, John and Cas carrying blue and brown and now Mary and Cas both carrying cream and light blue. Some color recap and rest of meta under the cut. Thar be pics below!

Dark Brown and Dark Blue were first introduced with John Winchester and have both been used as a call back to his character and also a symbol for fatherhood. Both instances of Cas using those colors have been episodes with a focus on his and Claire’s dynamic.

Brown and Yellow seem to associate with duty and were originally associated with Cas. Duty being a huge part of his character, it makes sense. Every time we’ve seen these colors associated with him, he’s been struggling between his duty and his humanity. While he was with Hannah and dying from grace depletion, in a diner with Metatron and in 12.08, a little café with Kelly before she ditches him. You can even see how broken down the ideal and Cas is in the café itself. In 12.09, we also see the colors associated with Mick, which really makes me think he’ll get a change of heart in some form or another. He and Mr. Ketch have also been framed with the Cas and Crowley circa s6 as well, so that’s in the cards pretty solidly at the moment.

This brings us to Cream and Light Blue. The most recent that I’m aware of. From this episode, I think Mary actually may be the original owner but it’s associated with both Mary and Cas here. Cas more heavily for the first part. Mary’s old café tile actually makes a lot of sense now in the 12.12 diner and boy do I love it. Cream and Light blue appear to be associated with new understandings or the integration of new ideals. This association also explains Mary’s exclamation at the end of 12.12 declaring that the BMoL better not hurt her boys. The color of the room she’s in solidifies that she now includes Cas as one of those boys. Her perception has changed and a new ideal has been integrated, just like Cas’ perception changed regarding his decision making and Kelly. In the 12.12 diner scene from the promo, the two characters with most connection and weight in that scene are Cas and Mary. Mary drives the C-Plot, Cas drives the B. The A-Plot is back-burnered until later which is fine. At this time, the café is Cas’, it’s in his PoV even after Mary takes over the conversation. However, her presence is significant as shown in the tiles on the floor (again, it may just be an annoying vinyl to lift but bare with me). Those tiles may be more significant than a technical convenience. Mary has also been associated with green for quite a long time, but this episode really pointed it out. The colors of her original café from 12.09 echo in the colors on the outside of Raoul’s. She also has her trademark green jacket for most of the episode and check out the scene just before the slomo-resodo-walk; her blue car is replaced with a green minivan. However, the sign and the inside of the diner, feature blue like her old car.

Look at aaaaall that green. Now, check out the color of her clothes and their correspondence at the end of the episode when she’s talking to Ketch:

Yep, in that same café from earlier and again from the inside. There are a few small stray shots of her tile but the only real establishing shot we get with it also features the the blind caging motif the cafés keep using, but this time from the outside. Usually we see it from within. This shot is also the one where Mary show’s Ketch The Colt.

I maintain that I think this was originally Cas’ café but like how Mick echo’s Cas’ old colors, Mary has learned to understand Cas some and has accepted a new ideology at least partially. From this, I believe the new colors are a sort of new beginning or level of acceptance. They could have just put a new jacket over the blue plaid she had, but no, they made the blue more similar to the blue in the café. I’m pretty sure this is very on purpose.  From this, I think Mary will not fall for the BMoL’s game for much longer. She may still have some of her ingrained thought processes caging her in, but she’s learning to branch out and accept new things and new parts of the world. I really like Mary’s arc from all kinds of angles. It will probably come to a head in a sad way but I hope that if she leaves at the end of the season in any way, that it is peaceful. The way this is going though, she actually might stick around at least as recurring character. This also makes me wonder about green as a color in SPN in general. Previously, it’s been associated with the breaking of the bro-dependency but now it seems to have a new association. Either that or the “ingrained thought process” meaning only works when white is present. If you look at the scene with Wally above, there’s a pretty even balance of green and white. It’s almost striped and it remains that way in the shots with them pretty specifically. 

I know there may be a technical aspect to the tile remaining but honestly, it’s a pretty weird thing to carry around for that many diners. Why would 3 different diners in vastly different places all have the same tile? I think Wanek is smarter than that. With that in mind, that tile was in Dean’s diner too... I wonder what ingrained thought process is caging him in... haha. If we think about the inside of the diner as an aspect of them that’s caged or closed off  in some way... it gets... interesting.

>.>

In other news, the Eldritch café/diner still refuses to morph into Sam’s mindscape. Do I need to bring it a gift? ‘Think maybe it likes candy hearts? I have way too many of those right now. This episode makes me want to see Crowley’s too. We don’t see Crowley in diners much but I wouldn’t put it out of Bucklemming’s reach for their next episode. 

[soullessjack]

incomprehensible dog motif jack post for today please enjoy

[soullessjack]

calling ur own grandson a little lapdog is some crazy hate game goddamn 😭😭