#thanks for the convo

[shallowseeker]

srry for the giant wall of rambles I got too thinky bc I was chopping apples and having a suspiciously nice day

do you think cas actually likes bees or if its a fandom trait based on Crazy!Cas who liked bees because of the hivemind resembling heaven?

also i imagine heaven and angels like parasitic creatures while hell is leeches/fungi/deep sea type scavengers

You're apologizing to ME about giant walls? Now, that is a little funny.

BEES & THE QUEST FOR MEANING I've gone back and forth on the bees, but mostly I think it's harmless, and I've made peace with the fact that I'm just not that into it.

Over time I've landed on putting the bees in a more biblical/theological space and leaving them there. I don't even think Cas liked them so much as he was desperately checking out of life and struggling to find meaning in a universe that felt monotonous and horrific -> the wars and sex and the unhappy dogs that can only think in ovals.

Because of his shame and depression, Cas could find no meaning or joy in the rat-race of life. He wants to be a non-participant because, “I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again.”

Here, I view Cas as Ecclesiastes. He was despairing over meaninglessness and the useless "striving of wind." I do think it was a motif that was 100% on purpose, too, because war, work, and career dealings are accompanied by fans, windmills, and industrial stirrings a lot in SPN!

It's very cool. It even appears in The Winchesters companion series, when Mary is facing her childhood!

//

Other Cas Things Interest Me More

Anyway, Cas and bees. Cas doesn't ever really return to them again after he moves past his struggle with his season 7 nihilism/meaninglessness. He seems more enamored with trash TV than bees. "I missed television," is the very first thing he says after getting out of Purgatory, lol.

He doesn't seem like much of an environmentalist either and seems perfectly willing to hand-slaughter pigs and eat shitty food. (To me, Lucifer seems like more of the environmentalist or even AU Zachariah from season 13's Good Intentions.) Or even Cain!

I think in later seasons, Cas seems vaguely aware of and attempting to be appreciative of the fleetingness of the time he has with his human family.

We see this theme in Naomi's words sometime in season 14 (I think?):

NAOMI: "Everything ends, Castiel."

We see it again in Cas’s words to Jack in season 14’s Ouroboros:

CAS: "The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them, you. When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them."

He also, unlike characters like Sam, seems to not get too hung up on agonizing over moral relativism -> judging from his words to Claire in season 10's The Things We Left Behind:

CAS: "Yes, well, um… Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far too easy to do your worst."

And then, there's also his words to Apocalypse-World Cas, "We're the same," & "Yes, we are."

My point is, Cas seems to have made peace with and understands that morality is relative to where your allegiances lie, and he seems good with preferring his allyship to humans.

He also seems to be more focused on the here and now rather than preserving the future indefinitely, which in my mind, goes with bees-as-work and bees-as-future.

You could argue that Jack changes that for him in 12x19 The Future, but I’m not sure… It still seems pretty family- and legacy-focused.

///

HEAVEN AS HIVEMIND This is another area where I really break from the fandom.

I don't view Heaven as a hivemind so much as I view it as a police state/military power, or else I don't think it would be structured the way it is. It's got this rigid party propganada, "We're heartless. Only humans feel emotions and true joy." I view it more as a surveillance state.

On the whole, I think Angelicity deals with the motif of epic, professional repression. On a lower level of existence, I'm reminded of the studies where men say they don't feel emotions but test as having them in equal or more intense measure when you measure psychological arousal and adrenal stress. I view Angelicity as a narrative exaggeration of traditional, brutal, stoic masculinity— a higher, Heavenly masculinity carried to its extreme.

It's got insanely brutal, inhumane emotional expectations. Grace, as my lovely father pointed out, looks a lot like traditional view on virility; it’s powerful and heals all sorts of emotional and physical ailments, but it’s finite and prone to performance issues.

//

In the show, practically every angel we see onscreen rebels, and angels are a huge motif for ongoing Civil War -> "brother against brother."

Despite what Lucifer and Cas and Naomi say, most angels are shown to have their own ideas, and on the whole, are shown to be reckless, angry, wrathful, impulsive, incredibly petty, and emotionally volatile.

I think what tends to happen is people hear the party line about heartlessness and obedience, and that clouds them from what the series actually shows us again and again: angels rebelling left and right and being brutally beaten down and lobotomized for it. (The lobotomies don’t even work all the way!)

Angels have constant, ongoing Civil War because they disagree with each other, even when there's only a handful of them left (Ex: Dumah Vs. Naomi in season 14).

Cas is not unique. That's the tragedy of authoritarianism. He only THINKS he is.

Cas's tendency to think of himself as unique and to think of his dealings with other angels as being "like teaching poetry to fish," is why he reaches for tyrannical god power in the first place. He thinks that, because they don't agree with him, they somehow don't have free will. Which is… kind of a flawed premise.

It's very complicated...but I think the reality is that until recently, Cas was right there with them, beaten down and hammered into shape. Hell, roll back a few years, and he'd have slaughtered himself alongside the others.

//

I think back to Anna's insistence that angels can't feel and are heartless, which is itself contradictory because Anna wouldn't have fallen in the first place if she had been emotionless to start with.

I prefer that she fell to be "allowed" to experience the emotions she probably already had…and had brutally repressed over eons of military dissociation and totalitarian training.

//

Being a soldier wears on you:

We see that, the longer Dean is a soldier, the more he too begins to lose sight of what is right or wrong. Season 15 Dean is so distraught and lost that he vaguely resembles season 4 soldier!Cas.

CAS: "I don't know what's right or wrong, or if you passed or failed here."

//

I LIKE YOUR COOL IDEA!

i imagine heaven and angels like parasitic creatures while hell is leeches/fungi/deep sea type scavengers

Deep sea creatures and fungi are wicked cool. See, you have ideas! You should just write them. I'd read that. Deep sea creatures would make excellent demons too, what with the whole "absence of light" and being down deep and all.

There's something horrific about being alive on all levels, isn't there? We all have to consume something to keep going. One of my fave religious essays is called The Horror of Eating, and it posits that Gods are so scary to us because we naturally put them above us, with us as the food/sacrifice to them. Brrr. This is why the sacrifice motif appears so often.

I guess...as humans, we empathize and humanize our food sources, which is a big part of our incredible neuroses...

[spaceorphan18]

I totally agree about your perspective on Lea/rachel's singing Dont rain on my parade! I have a different viewpoint, though. I've always thought Lea Michelle channels Barbra in any of her songs. She uses the same notes, style and sometimes her gestures when she sings Barbra songs; like Rachel believes she was Barbra in a weird way. Which, on the other hand, is why I never, ever, ever will believe that Rachel quit Broadway to do television. Rachel Berry said so many times she was 'born to do that role' and 'be on broadway' and BAM, she quits because she's bored? I'll never buy that, and I'll always wonder what the writers were thinking, as well as what Lea thought when she read the script.

Oh interesting! I can't say I've seen (or heard) enough of Barbra to make a comparison, but that would make sense. I'm assuming she was always one of Lea's role models, and that became incorporated into the show for Rachel.

I'm sure, also, that it was an intentional character choice. Of course a 15yo girl would try to emulate someone she aspires to be.

As for Rachel quitting... I get it and I get the backlash against it. I mean, as someone who really wanted to compose music and be a film composer - when I finally had the chance to do it - I didn't really like it.

Now - there are a lot of differences - for one Rachel Berry loves Broadway way, way more than what was more of a hobby when it came to me and music. And I think the story would have played better if they didn't have to compress the timescale of story telling. Make a year go by, and then I'd by Rachel going to TV. Plus, I can see someone as ambitious as Rachel wanting to try TV.

I agree the story line doesn't quite make sense. But I don't think it's completely illogical.

<3

[hemaris]

was walking along a stream and kept seeing these little flower boats go by, and i was like "how nice is it that someone took the time to make these". and then 15ish minutes layer i came by a bridge where a guy in his sixties/seventies was sitting down with a huge bucket of freshly plucked flowers and leaves making the little boats, and another guy in his twenties who was fluent in english explaining to passers by that yes it's free, yes you can take pictures, yes it's just for fun. the older guy kept telling everyone that succesfully dropping them into the stream upright and having them sail away meant good luck in the future, and i'm like 98% sure that they were folded in a way where they're *always* gonna end right side up, but that didn't stop him from clapping/cheering every time one landed right. i sat down for a bit and hung out and chatted with them for like half an hour and they were SO fucking nice that i genuinely cried a little afterwards and anyway thank u for coming to my ted talk about the restoration of my faith in humanity

[jkvjimin]

"my happiness started when I met rapmon hyung" for @jung-koook ♡

[formulaonedirection]

25 years old and turning heads when he walks through the do-o-or happy birthday my beloved Lando 🧡

[cloudysfluffs]

he is such a little shit /affectionate

nsfw/kink blogs please dni!

[gloaming-sometimes]

dear lesboy (and tbh any other nuanced identity) exclusionists who think your vein of thought is the majority in queer spaces id like to inform you that today at lunch with my (entirely queer) friend group the topic drifted to me being a butch lesbian and one friend goes "wait i thought you were a guy?" and i said "i am" and another friend interjected "dudes can be lesbians too" and that was that. no further probing about my identity, nohing about how im "invalidating transmen and lesbians", or whatever. everyone just accepted that thats how i identify and i dont owe an explanation for it and moved on. i promise u its not that deep 👍

[rhiangalaxy]

Some Things Never Change...

(Piece chosen by this week's poll!)

[ID: Scum Villain Drawings. The top image depicts Shen Yuan, Shen Jiu and Yue Qi as street rats/kids. SY is the youngest and being carried piggy back style by SJ due to his legs being injured. SY is a little teary and red eyed with a nervous expression, gripping onto SJ's shoulder. SJ looks towards YQ with a annoyed/angry expression whilst YQ smiles and gestures placatingly. The bottom image depicts SY, SQQ and YGY in current/peak lord era. SY nervously smiles and has a hand on SQQ's shoulder as if to calm him down. SQQ angrily points a closed fan at YGY who has his clenched fists drawn up nervously as if to avoid getting his hands smacked by the fan. He has a slightly flustered but mostly nervous expression, attempting to placate SQQ. End ID]

[jadewritesficshere]

Just thinking about s4 but when Alpha!Eddie grabs Steve to shove the bottle against his neck, he doesn't realize Steve is an omega and accidentally scruffs him. And Steve is just boneless, kinda goes down. And Eddie isn't expecting deadweight and almost falls ontop of Steve but realizes what's happening (let's just say he's fought off a few bullies who scruffed members of his pack). He immediately drops the bottle and holds onto Steve, who tries to scent Eddie. Just shoves his face into Eddie's neck and nuzzles it, lets out a purr unintentionally.

[seafoamdew]

“Hey, handsome. Nice ride you got there~”

“H-Hvernig ferđu ađ ūessu?!”

(inspired by @bignostalgias translations au)

[ruubesz-draws]

So Shadow was just... seething and floating in the void the whole time???

Man...

*DO NOT REPOST MY ART*

[filipinoizukuu]

fun fact about togame, his voice actor also voices a jojo character named "Weather Report" (you see where i'm going with this?)

i want to believe that the one singular contact number in sakura's phone is not in fact his piss poor attempt to use a phone, but rather a well-kept secret point of contact between him and one certain togame jo. after the showdown with shishitoren and the rooftop celebration, togame and sakura remain... curious about each other. it starts off surface-level enough. togame wants to find a way to repay his debts somehow -- keep an avenue available to someday prove to sakura that he isn't so lame anymore.

he's eternally thankful to sakura for snapping him out of whatever fugue state choji's mistakes put him in and wants to actually befriend sakura because of it. make sure he hasnt changed and all. meanwhile sakura contemplates it, because umemiya WAS right in the grand scheme of things and he did somehow "communicate" with togame in their fight. he wants to keep talking to togame, sort of. learn all the things he couldn't gather with his jabs and kicks. so they both find themselves at the tunnel a few days after the fight as complete coincidence.

its complete fate they ran into each other without meaning to, but togame wastes no time in warmly greeting sakura and chatting him up. night begins to creep up and at that point sakura knows they've gotta start getting home if they both don't wanna start shit sitting out at night on territory boundaries while wearing their respective recognizable uniforms. he's hesitant to pull away from the conversation though and togame seizes the opportunity to ask for sakura's (barely used) phone and write himself into sakura's contacts. (he doesn't even have a password btw)

"Wow~ Not a single person on here, Othello-kun."

"Hah? What th' hell would I even need it for? If I need something, I can just go ask in person. None of that slow, boring texting crap."

"You really live life too fast, haha. What if it's too small for the effort? Or you can't come find me in time? Shishitoren territory is quite far from Furin's campus, after all."

"What would I even need'ta ask you that isn't urgent enough to come here, scraggly?"

Togame simply laughs under his breath. "Anything you can think of." he hands the phone back to Sakura, screen lit up with a single new contact under the name 'Weather.'

That's stupid.

The older boy continues to tease Sakura. "Call me to ask about the weather, if you really can't come up with anything at all. I promise I'd pick up; it's the least I can do for you after everything."

They part ways, and even if neither of them mention it -- Sakura keeps this encounter close to his chest. Thinks about it when his classmates make fun of him for it the very next day, even as he says nothing and lets them tease him. With 5 new names in his list of contacts, he remembers to go home and scroll to 'W' and asks about the weather tomorrow. Asks a whole lot of other things too. All until he falls asleep.

(He never changes Togame's contact name after that. Not even months later, stranded on a bridge and staring down an army of enemies and another black-haired tall douchebag to humble. What will the weather be like tomorrow? Clear motherfuckin' skies, baby.)

[infamous-if]

i've been rambling about infamous to my friend so much they're now actually invested in the plot. like the two of us usually don't gossip but when it comes to this game? we're having hour-long conversations, actually acting like these are real people. O is their favorite btw.

omg I love that! I was just telling my friend how crazy it is that there's people out there discussing Infamous...weird (in a good way!) how my writing is getting Perceived and getting brought up in convos I have no idea about hahaha

I'm glad you and your friend enjoy it <3 and O is always a great choice 🤭

[weather-cluddy]

Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, thrice is a character motif.

[butchharts]

I COOKA DA PIZZA.

[interoteme]

jacktober 14