#thanks for the convo

[shallowseeker]

srry for the giant wall of rambles I got too thinky bc I was chopping apples and having a suspiciously nice day

do you think cas actually likes bees or if its a fandom trait based on Crazy!Cas who liked bees because of the hivemind resembling heaven?

also i imagine heaven and angels like parasitic creatures while hell is leeches/fungi/deep sea type scavengers

You're apologizing to ME about giant walls? Now, that is a little funny.

BEES & THE QUEST FOR MEANING I've gone back and forth on the bees, but mostly I think it's harmless, and I've made peace with the fact that I'm just not that into it.

Over time I've landed on putting the bees in a more biblical/theological space and leaving them there. I don't even think Cas liked them so much as he was desperately checking out of life and struggling to find meaning in a universe that felt monotonous and horrific -> the wars and sex and the unhappy dogs that can only think in ovals.

Because of his shame and depression, Cas could find no meaning or joy in the rat-race of life. He wants to be a non-participant because, “I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again.”

Here, I view Cas as Ecclesiastes. He was despairing over meaninglessness and the useless "striving of wind." I do think it was a motif that was 100% on purpose, too, because war, work, and career dealings are accompanied by fans, windmills, and industrial stirrings a lot in SPN!

It's very cool. It even appears in The Winchesters companion series, when Mary is facing her childhood!

//

Other Cas Things Interest Me More

Anyway, Cas and bees. Cas doesn't ever really return to them again after he moves past his struggle with his season 7 nihilism/meaninglessness. He seems more enamored with trash TV than bees. "I missed television," is the very first thing he says after getting out of Purgatory, lol.

He doesn't seem like much of an environmentalist either and seems perfectly willing to hand-slaughter pigs and eat shitty food. (To me, Lucifer seems like more of the environmentalist or even AU Zachariah from season 13's Good Intentions.) Or even Cain!

I think in later seasons, Cas seems vaguely aware of and attempting to be appreciative of the fleetingness of the time he has with his human family.

We see this theme in Naomi's words sometime in season 14 (I think?):

NAOMI: "Everything ends, Castiel."

We see it again in Cas’s words to Jack in season 14’s Ouroboros:

CAS: "The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them, you. When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them."

He also, unlike characters like Sam, seems to not get too hung up on agonizing over moral relativism -> judging from his words to Claire in season 10's The Things We Left Behind:

CAS: "Yes, well, um… Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far too easy to do your worst."

And then, there's also his words to Apocalypse-World Cas, "We're the same," & "Yes, we are."

My point is, Cas seems to have made peace with and understands that morality is relative to where your allegiances lie, and he seems good with preferring his allyship to humans.

He also seems to be more focused on the here and now rather than preserving the future indefinitely, which in my mind, goes with bees-as-work and bees-as-future.

You could argue that Jack changes that for him in 12x19 The Future, but I’m not sure… It still seems pretty family- and legacy-focused.

///

HEAVEN AS HIVEMIND This is another area where I really break from the fandom.

I don't view Heaven as a hivemind so much as I view it as a police state/military power, or else I don't think it would be structured the way it is. It's got this rigid party propganada, "We're heartless. Only humans feel emotions and true joy." I view it more as a surveillance state.

On the whole, I think Angelicity deals with the motif of epic, professional repression. On a lower level of existence, I'm reminded of the studies where men say they don't feel emotions but test as having them in equal or more intense measure when you measure psychological arousal and adrenal stress. I view Angelicity as a narrative exaggeration of traditional, brutal, stoic masculinity— a higher, Heavenly masculinity carried to its extreme.

It's got insanely brutal, inhumane emotional expectations. Grace, as my lovely father pointed out, looks a lot like traditional view on virility; it’s powerful and heals all sorts of emotional and physical ailments, but it’s finite and prone to performance issues.

//

In the show, practically every angel we see onscreen rebels, and angels are a huge motif for ongoing Civil War -> "brother against brother."

Despite what Lucifer and Cas and Naomi say, most angels are shown to have their own ideas, and on the whole, are shown to be reckless, angry, wrathful, impulsive, incredibly petty, and emotionally volatile.

I think what tends to happen is people hear the party line about heartlessness and obedience, and that clouds them from what the series actually shows us again and again: angels rebelling left and right and being brutally beaten down and lobotomized for it. (The lobotomies don’t even work all the way!)

Angels have constant, ongoing Civil War because they disagree with each other, even when there's only a handful of them left (Ex: Dumah Vs. Naomi in season 14).

Cas is not unique. That's the tragedy of authoritarianism. He only THINKS he is.

Cas's tendency to think of himself as unique and to think of his dealings with other angels as being "like teaching poetry to fish," is why he reaches for tyrannical god power in the first place. He thinks that, because they don't agree with him, they somehow don't have free will. Which is… kind of a flawed premise.

It's very complicated...but I think the reality is that until recently, Cas was right there with them, beaten down and hammered into shape. Hell, roll back a few years, and he'd have slaughtered himself alongside the others.

//

I think back to Anna's insistence that angels can't feel and are heartless, which is itself contradictory because Anna wouldn't have fallen in the first place if she had been emotionless to start with.

I prefer that she fell to be "allowed" to experience the emotions she probably already had…and had brutally repressed over eons of military dissociation and totalitarian training.

//

Being a soldier wears on you:

We see that, the longer Dean is a soldier, the more he too begins to lose sight of what is right or wrong. Season 15 Dean is so distraught and lost that he vaguely resembles season 4 soldier!Cas.

CAS: "I don't know what's right or wrong, or if you passed or failed here."

//

I LIKE YOUR COOL IDEA!

i imagine heaven and angels like parasitic creatures while hell is leeches/fungi/deep sea type scavengers

Deep sea creatures and fungi are wicked cool. See, you have ideas! You should just write them. I'd read that. Deep sea creatures would make excellent demons too, what with the whole "absence of light" and being down deep and all.

There's something horrific about being alive on all levels, isn't there? We all have to consume something to keep going. One of my fave religious essays is called The Horror of Eating, and it posits that Gods are so scary to us because we naturally put them above us, with us as the food/sacrifice to them. Brrr. This is why the sacrifice motif appears so often.

I guess...as humans, we empathize and humanize our food sources, which is a big part of our incredible neuroses...

[stealingpotatoes]

are there any of your AUs where the rogue one crew is alive and well?

yes!! the jyn meets cal au is a rogue one lives au purely so i can make them meet again when she's an adult <3

(commission info // tip jar!)

[hemaris]

was walking along a stream and kept seeing these little flower boats go by, and i was like "how nice is it that someone took the time to make these". and then 15ish minutes layer i came by a bridge where a guy in his sixties/seventies was sitting down with a huge bucket of freshly plucked flowers and leaves making the little boats, and another guy in his twenties who was fluent in english explaining to passers by that yes it's free, yes you can take pictures, yes it's just for fun. the older guy kept telling everyone that succesfully dropping them into the stream upright and having them sail away meant good luck in the future, and i'm like 98% sure that they were folded in a way where they're *always* gonna end right side up, but that didn't stop him from clapping/cheering every time one landed right. i sat down for a bit and hung out and chatted with them for like half an hour and they were SO fucking nice that i genuinely cried a little afterwards and anyway thank u for coming to my ted talk about the restoration of my faith in humanity

[mayhemforlace]

[drivebypainter]

I redesigned my SVSSS OC as the start of my mission to create a design/reference sheet for all of the SVSSS characters!

(prev design)

Here’s her lore:

The lore behind He Mixin’s arrival:

Shang Qinghua, wasn’t one for extreme superstitions. However, he definitely believed he must have broken a hundred mirrors for him to have the luck he currently had. He was stuck doing paperwork and taxes not only for the entire sect, but the entire northern palace too! Not only that but it was only his first few years as a peak lord and already multiple disasters had happened!

So in order to to minimize any future problems, Shang Qinghua began praying to a god of luck and fortune. Sure it was probably useless and a waste of time, but it felt nice to do it. Soon the prayers turned into little out of the way tasks to increase his luck. The it turned into whole rituals before he sent a letter or before he went on a mission. It seemed to be working too! His paper work seemed easier and people began to turn in their work on time!

However one day it went all wrong. You see, Shang Qinghua in his rush to save a stack of paper from falling off his desk, he stuck his chop sticks straight up- in his bowl of rice! (Bad luck!)

After that once unfortunate moment, everything went wrong again. Taxes grew harder, people began to be late with their reports, and peaks began to have disasters every week!

Desperate to get back his luck, Shang Qinghua begged the little statue of the lucky and fortunate god for help. Shang Qinghua was surprised when the sound of the system suddenly sung in his head with a new mission!

[User01 has gained a new mission with a grand reward of a permanent buff on paperwork and other peakly duties! Does User01 want to accept this mission?]

Extremely excited, Shang Qinghua selected the yes button and immediately forgot about the mission, after the system only gave a vague [great see you in 12 years!]

Over the next 4 years, Shang Qinghua’s luck slowly increased again.. but it never got to the point from before, and in fact any increase of luck was barely appreciated due to his now PAINFUL headaches that he was getting all the time.

On the dawn of the 5th year, Shang Qinghua could no longer take it, and begged the system to end the mission. There was no way he could handle it anymore! The pain was too much!

The system remained silent so Shang Qinghua ran to Mu Qingfang for help. After a quick analysis, Mu Qingfang found the problem, there was something growing next to Shang Qinghua’s brain! Mu Qingfang went to remove the mass and suddenly out popped a whole 5 year old child! Shang Qinghua was horrified- but the child’s birth(?) aligned with the mission… so was this his buff for everything on his peak?

Shang Qinghua decided to name the child He Mixin, (which means “to celebrate superstition”), as a call back to all the silly things Shang Qinghua did in the name of luck!

As He Mixin grew up, Shang Qinghua gave up his superstitions and instead just relied on giving small prayers to the lucky god in thanks. After all, despite its craziness, Shang Qinghua now had his own little ‘good luck charm’.

He Mixin personality/details/how she interacts with others:

He Mixin is a very stubborn and hard worker. She works hard to get things done and to make her baba proud. (thought she’d never tell him that).

She has a lot of anger issues, resulting with dealing with “man-child” peak lords and annoying fellow disciples (and even more annoying fellow head disciples).

She is prone to bouts of impulsivity, as shown by her horrible hair that she did on a day where she wanted to be free of the excruciating heat caused by summer in CQMS.

She is sometimes called the Princess of An Ding, because she is the daughter of SQH and out of all the disciples on An Ding she is rather weak. (though off on her peak she is considered the most physically strong out of her fellow head disciples- despite that strength she is very much not a fighter.)((A Ding disciples have to be sturdy and capable in order to do the amount of physical labor they do)).

HMX doesn’t like a lot of people due to the fact her opinions are usually clouded by the fact she has to deal with their bullshit when she does paperwork.

HMX is lesbian yay.

HMX is friends with Feng Licheng (the Zui Xian head disciple) and Gao Hongxia (the Wan Jian head disciple). The three of them hang out regularly.

HMX was forced to go on play dates with FLC the moment he joined ZXP.

HMX has a huge crush on GHX (GHX is beautiful, kind and competent! AWOOGA!)

HMX is frenemies with Ming Fan because the guy is annoyingly bossy! No other reason! (MF and GHX are friends- HMX is insanely jealous every time they hang out)

HMX hates Yang Yixuan to the bone because the brat is Bai Zhan and Bai Zhan sucks (YYX is a pure baby who never did anything wrong.)

HMX’s relationship with SQH is sorta like begrudging father/daughter type deal. HMX wants, but then also doesn’t want, a father, and SQH doesn’t know how to deal with children LOL.

MBJ was shocked the first time he met HMX- “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAD A KID POP OUT OF YOUR HEAD???”

HMX was taught embroidery by SQH and now regularly does little embroidery projects on either her own clothes or on little scraps of paper.

Both Feng Licheng and Gao Hongxia belong to @sillygoofyqueer

[jadewritesficshere]

Just thinking about s4 but when Alpha!Eddie grabs Steve to shove the bottle against his neck, he doesn't realize Steve is an omega and accidentally scruffs him. And Steve is just boneless, kinda goes down. And Eddie isn't expecting deadweight and almost falls ontop of Steve but realizes what's happening (let's just say he's fought off a few bullies who scruffed members of his pack). He immediately drops the bottle and holds onto Steve, who tries to scent Eddie. Just shoves his face into Eddie's neck and nuzzles it, lets out a purr unintentionally.

[wohyunz]

💝💘💖💗🫰💓💞🥰💕❣️❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥🤎🤍🫂🩶🖤😍💜💙🩵💚💛🫶🧡❤️😘🩷💟 for my beloved @loversmore 🤍

[jkvjimin]

"my happiness started when I met rapmon hyung" for @jung-koook ♡

[babybison]

Jealous?

[formulaonedirection]

25 years old and turning heads when he walks through the do-o-or happy birthday my beloved Lando 🧡

[haglover02]

i miss my wife

[cloudysfluffs]

he is such a little shit /affectionate

nsfw/kink blogs please dni!

[maggotknight]

the first time heinrix and lilith get some shore leave together 🥰

some time before the Acessio, on Dargonus

[gloaming-sometimes]

dear lesboy (and tbh any other nuanced identity) exclusionists who think your vein of thought is the majority in queer spaces id like to inform you that today at lunch with my (entirely queer) friend group the topic drifted to me being a butch lesbian and one friend goes "wait i thought you were a guy?" and i said "i am" and another friend interjected "dudes can be lesbians too" and that was that. no further probing about my identity, nohing about how im "invalidating transmen and lesbians", or whatever. everyone just accepted that thats how i identify and i dont owe an explanation for it and moved on. i promise u its not that deep 👍

[royalarchivist]

Cellbit: If it's bugged, I'll even like, watch your clip to see what happened with [spoiler] so we can fix it too.

Baghera: Oh yeah, I can send you a clip! I am gonna send you a clip. I just like, kiss [spoiler] for 10 minutes.

Cellbit: Oh. 😐 Yeah. Um, that sounds a little weird. 🫤

Baghera: That's my problem of– when I see a big monster, I don't run, I just go to the monster, you know?

Cellbit: Oh... yeah... Yeah, that's like, kind of a you thing. Like, that's kind of like your psychology problems, right?

Baghera: Yeah. I just like huge monsters that kills me, yep. Yeah, I think you saw it in your RPG, you know?

Cellbit: Whatever floats your boat, I guess. 🫥

[ Full (Uncensored) Transcript ↓ ]

—

Baghera: [Whispers in an echoing voice] Cellbit? I think I bugged your game! I don't know what to do! I cannot leave! Cellbo!!!

Cellbit: Hi!

Baghera: I think I bugged your game, but I'm good! [Laughs]

Cellbit: Oh. Wait, oh wait– Go ahead, what happened, what happened, what happened?

Baghera: I was like "I'm gonna play for 2 hours, it's gonna be so cool game–" it's like 50 hours game! [Laughs]

Cellbit: Yeah it is. Like, the median- the median time for people to- to finish it has been 18 hours.

Baghera: What the fu– No it's- it's an amazing game. I send you a message, I was so emotive, I was like, "Cellbit, you're so good with the game! Oh, I can't wait."

Cellbit: Oh yeah, I have to reply, I haven't read it yet 'cuz–

Baghera: AND YOU JUST DIDN'T REPLY TO ME! [Laughs]

Cellbit: It's been so fcking chaotic this- these last couple days–

Baghera: No, I know, I know–

Cellbit: It's nonstop work, 'cuz we're still fixing bugs, there's like feedback, uh...

Baghera: No no, I understand.

Cellbit: If it's bugged, I'll even like, watch your clip to see what happened with Goliath– [Struggling not to laugh] so we can fix it too.

Baghera: Oh yeah, I can send you a clip! I am gonna send you a clip. I just like, kiss Goliath for 10 minutes.

Cellbit: Oh. 😐

Baghera: Yeah.

Cellbit: Yeah. Um, that sounds a little weird. 🫤

Baghera: That's my problem of– when I see a big monster, I don't run, I just go to the monster, you know?

Cellbit: Oh... yeah... Yeah, that's like, kind of a you thing. Like, that's kind of like your psychology problems, right?

Baghera: Yeah. I just like huge monsters that kills me, yep. Yeah, I think you saw it in your RPG, you know?

Cellbit: Whatever floats your boat, I guess. 🫥

Baghera: Yeah, yeah.

[forgottenarias]

One Night | Arthur & Aria

"Everyone, my lady. They are, all of them, my father's people. They are all mine to protect."

Arthur's words ran through Aria's head again as she stared across the great hall to where Eilia was seated next to the Emperor. Aria knew the look her on her sisters face, the well practiced Stafford expression that meant to convey no expression at all. Aria had hoped that the Emperor had given up his goal of marrying her sister when he had declared the Staffords bastards but it seemed that would not be the case.

Aria pressed her back against the wall, feeling a bit out of her own skin dressed in the silks and satins Cassandra had insisted she wear when Aria had asked the youngest Varmont princess about attire for the tournament. Aria had never imagined Cassandra would commisson her an entire set of outfits for her to wear for the event. Part of the plan, she'd told herself and Eilia when they'd been delivered to their tiny quarters. It was all part of the plan.

"Eilia should be queen," Aria thought to herself, an often repeated mantra in these past weeks. She watched her sister give Roderick a short response to whatever question he had asked of her. Though the Emperor's face did not show it, Aria imagined he was less than pleased with her limited responses.

"Butcher I may be, but butcher I do not wish to remain."

Aria heard the guard next to her, who had been her near constant companion during the tournaments events, yawn. Aria turned her head slightly so she could just see him out of the corner of her eye.

"I'm not planning on running away if you'd like to go take a nap," Aria informed him. The guard frowned, saying nothing, though he suddenly was adjusting his stance, standing straighter and no longer leaning against the wall as she herself was in that moment. Aria turned her gaze back to the crowd to gauge the reason and was met with Arthur Varmont making his way towards her.

"Eilia should be queen," Aria thought to herself once again as Arthur reached her. Despite herself, she smiled slightly as he approached. It had been today Arthur had finally found himself the champion of the day and Aria had silently reminded herself she shouldn't look too pleased when he finally claimed victory.

"Let me offer you congratulations on your victory today, Imperial Highness," Aria offered, clasping her hands behind her back as she pushed away from the wall, standing up properly to speak with him. The pair had spoken little in the past days with the activities and festivities that had been taking place, but Aria had seen the small white fabric pinned to his surcoat each time he'd entered the tournament grounds. Aria had made a point not to think about why she'd handed him that handkerchief, not to think about how he'd interpreted her gesture. Aria Stafford could not admit that to herself... not yet.

"I am here to do all the good I can."

"Seeing you out there today did make me realize how dearly I miss riding from time to time," Aria mused, suddenly unsure of what more to say. "Tomorrow is to be... a group..." she paused, fumbling for the word. "Melee?" she finally concluded.

Tournaments had been rare in Astaira in the way the Varmonts held them, the country being more prone to festivals that all could partake in. There had been competitions, yes, but wargames had rarely taken place.