#Dabb vs cars

[antigonewinchester]

15x18

Jack’s explosion leading directly into the title card is a nice touch: it’s a fun forth wall break, intertwining Jack’s explosion in the fiction story into the real-world title card, and fitting in terms of how Jack goes onto become God and the fictional creator/shaper of SPN’s world.

Jack becoming God also fits with the standard superhero trope of the “reluctant hero.” In contrast to Billie, in contrast to Chuck, Jack doesn’t desire the power of godhood for himself, but takes it on to save the world. It shows up multiple times in the MCU and almost entirely uncritically in each case. (Of course “God” as a role isn’t something to get rid of; it’s about taking the “Bad Guy” in Chuck out of the role and putting the “Good Guy” in Jack in that role instead! Problem solved.)  I’m entirely disconnected from Marvel now so I hadn’t realized how much the end of this season drew on the MCU. Chuck even does a Thanos snap to kill the whole world at the end of the ep lmao.

In contrast to the last ep, Dean jumps to protect Jack when Billie tries to kidnap him, and so ends up the first one to maim Death (even if Cas technically takes her down in the end). Then again, it’s also Dean who chooses ‘wrong’ in going after Billie to kill her (wanting revenge / leaving family & friends) and unintentionally gets Cas killed, just as Billie is in the wrong to go after Dean in revenge and gets her desserts when Cas drags her to the Empty with him.

SAM Hey, I got a job for you. JACK Me? SAM Yeah. I need you to drive. JACK But I only drove once. SAM I've got work to do. You know, I gotta dig through the archives and work on finding spells. I can't do that with one eye on the road, so. SAM gestures for JACK to move over. JACK slides into the driver's seat. JACK Okay. Okay. I'll... Drive. JACK starts the engine, and they pull away from the gas-n-sip.

Sweet little scene between Sam & Jack. Of course Jack wants to feel like he’s doing something, so Sam gives him the rein in driving the car. Also some very obvious symbolism for Jack “taking the wheel.”

CASTIEL I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're "daddy's blunt instrument." And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean. ... I love you.

It’s confession time! And it’s... fine? It concludes an arc for Cas that was a long time coming--the writers were clearly aware of Bibro/Wincest vs. Destiel within fandom, and wrote the story to draw in both sides of the fandom, even if the bro bond is overall more emphasized--and Berens being gay himself gives the scene a certain legitimacy it wouldn’t have had otherwise. It’s fully within the show’s framework that “love” is the highest virtue, that caring about people means you’ll do good, which is a very bog standard idea (and one I disagree with, but that’s a tangent). Also repeating S15′s idea of sacrificing for what or who you love, and those sacrifices being worth the cost.

I don’t see Dean as being written, nor Jackles playing him, as reciprocating Cas’s feelings, altho I can understand why someone would want to read it that way. (There’s a funny meta abt how the show ends up being kind of like a YA love triangle between Sam > Dean < Cas, particularly in Dabb’s seasons.) Also recently watched a vid arguing the confession is queerbaiting, by putting it up alongside the latest season of Doctor Who (which in its penultimate ep had the Doctor and her companion Yasmin confess their feelings for each other, and then ignore that confession almost entirely in the finale and they go their separate ways) to talk about how sometimes, queerbaiting = queer representation = queerbaiting. I don’t agree with everything in how he frames Destiel before 15x18, but do think his discussion of 15x18 is fairly good.

Concerning that 3x10 reference... imo Berens doesn’t at all understand the nuances of that ep, esp the Dean - Dream!Dean scenes, so the call back rings unfortunately hollow. Because the way Berens frames “daddy’s blunt little instrument” neatly skips over Dean’s internalized anger at John for treating him like a soldier, even a tool, instead of a child, and how that particular dynamic warped his identity and sense of self.

[mittensmorgul]

rewatching 15.18 and suffering afresh!

I need to talk about Billie, though. While Cas is telling Dean he’s made of love. We all know.

But Billie.

For years, I’ve been writing about how she’s Dabb’s avatar in the story. She was. Which makes it pretty damn poetic how-- and when-- she is taken out of it.

(I just watched her and Cas get ripped from the story and am currently sobbing on the floor of the dungeon beside Dean)

Cas’s love confession is the mechanism of his own happiness that summoned the Empty. But he triggered it deliberately to also remove Billie from the narrative.

Metaphorically, Dabb’s control over it.

And this is why I’m just as mad about Billie’s lack of redemption as I am about Cas’s lack of redemption.

She was tricked just as much as TFW was in this episode. She truly believed that her mission of Killing Chuck was their only salvation, just as much as Dean in 15.17 had become single-minded in that mission to the point he nearly destroyed everything else in pursuit of it. He pulled a GUN on SAM. That needs a lot of exclamation points for emphasis, but I try to be a decent person to those with screen readers, so y’all get this whole sentence instead of a string of bang marks...

As Billie told Dean and Cas when they broke into her Reading Room to try to kill her, they were in the wrong place. She had no interest in killing all their friends. It wasn’t her disappearing everyone as they’d been led to believe. It was always Chuck, all along. He was to blame for it. They’d wasted their time going after her. But without her, they also had no real hope of killing Chuck... or so SHE believed.

She said her ONLY mission now that she was dying was killing Dean.

Which... actually happened in the finale.

Because Billie didn’t understand how she’d been manipulated into doing Chuck’s bidding for him until it was too late. She spent all of s15 single-mindedly devoted to killing Chuck when that was never going to succeed. Because Chuck wrote ALL the rules to the universe, including the ones that Billie existed by as Death.

She had Grand Plans to just... keep the balance (as Amara had been urging Chuck toward in 15.17 before he broke her will and devoured her... yes Amara got short-shrift just as much as Billie did... and I won’t even go into how Rowena received the exact same treatment as a self-sacrifice in 15.03, other than to just state it plainly here).

But Chuck-- the one who can changes the rules on the fly and bend everything in the universe to his will EXCEPT for the will of humanity-- was too committed to the Writer Bit. Too invested in his own story to let it go. When it didn’t go his way, instead of adapting and letting it become something else, he chose to punish all the characters he claimed were his favorites.

Chuck ended up writing the worst, most nihilistic fanfic of his own stories just to burn it all to the ground. Tormenting his characters for no other reason than pettiness. Because he could.

Dabb was never Chuck. Dabb was always Billie. And in the final season-- out past 14.20 when we got that wild shot of Jack, Billie, and the Entity in the Empty... Dabb was all three of them.

And what happens to Jack in 15.19? He’s been Emptied Out, having been destroyed in the Empty and then brought back to Earth with no power, involuntarily absorbing power and draining the life from everything around him until he becomes... the perfect vessel for Chuck. He becomes Chuck at the end of 15.19.

Just in time for Dabb to execute... whatever the heck that finale was. Chuck’s final story.

Chuck won. He got the last say using Dabb’s in-story avatar like a puppet to bring it all to fruition. And Billie is the proof of it. And I am so tired now and can’t bring myself to watch 15.20 again yet, so I’m turning off the tv now before it’s too late and probably gonna go read my post 15.19 fix it fic instead that puts all of this to rights.

[elizabethrobertajones]

15x10 watching notes

Yes I am physically jittering and shaking with caffeine, no, it’s fine, I’m the main character, there’s no physical limitations to what I can do

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22400713/chapters/67603196

[neven-ebrez]

From the script of 9x22.

PIMPMOBILE IS CANON, BITCHES 😂🔥🙌🏻

[cassierobinsons]

"(not in a weird way like dabb vs dean, in a genuinely fun/interesting way)"

LMAO! dabb is so weird for me because he'll churn out some episodes i really like and find compelling (dark side of the moon, red meat) but then he can't stop himself from writing dean half the time like dean is a real person who fucked and ghosted multiple members of his family and then scrapped his car when pulling out of the driveway. THE definition of "making up a guy to get mad at."

"tbqh a lot of takes on dean irk me deeply because they feel like they come from people who lowkey think of him as an uncouth lumpenprole trogolodyte iykwim."

OKAY. ok. it's like you're looking directly into my psyche. the phrase i've used for how people characterize dean is "lumbering ogre" but this is way better. it really does come down to people thinking dean is stupid because he grew up poor and doesn't feel the need to hide it. all those fics/posts where ivy league educated sam has to calmly explain the concept of bisexuality to dean...flames on the side of my face. and 100%, alcoholism is retconned into something that's inherently a part of who dean always was because he sucks and deserves to end up like john. which i've also never liked as a motif and feel like only exists for dean bc post season 8 everyone decided to stop giving sam any character traits.

gamble era IS dull and miserable, speak on that! all eras have their deep flaws but i watched gamble's live and it was a fucking nightmare to care about what was going on half the time.

(following on from this ask)

anon i wish timezones/my job/my v. slow typing speed didn't mean i can only answer one of these asks a day :S

dabb's whole deal w/ dean was surprising to me as someone who saw him being gassed up to hell and back pre-finale because he (and i guess loflin to some extent) really do write the secret version of dean that exists in a bitter samgirls head. dean can be a prick. he can be lacking in self-awareness. but dabb seems to take that as his default state of being. even hunter heroici which i enjoy overall has dean initially annoyed over having to work a case with cas which is so ooc it makes me want to bite lmfao. and then you have eps like 4x06 and 4x13 which are so obviously about dabb hashing out his issues with w/e meathead bullied him in high school.

dabb's dean is even horrible to kids, because dabb doesn't know what a dead in the water is and he doesn't care to find out. one of my biggest issues w/ 7x03 besides the whole butchering of japanese folklore and jewel straite playing yet another role better suited for an asian woman is that even if you think dean killing amy makes sense, the way he speaks to jacob afterwards is so fucking sociopathic that i cannottttt acknowledge that episode as canon.

DSOtM is an exception to this, and i think it's because having john w around to act as the narrative's punching bag means he lacks the energy to use dean as one too.

it really does come down to people thinking dean is stupid because he grew up poor and doesn't feel the need to hide it. all those fics/posts where ivy league educated sam has to calmly explain the concept of bisexuality to dean...flames on the side of my face.

LITERALLYYYYYY. sometimes you read a deancrit take and it's like oh i KNOW you don't know any working class ppl irl. it's not that dean doesn't have a ton he needs to work on but there's this assumption that he somehow doesn't know or understand any of his issues or where they come from and needs a third party to condescendingly explain it to him etc and i can't help but feel like it's because he doesn't express himself the way sam, the brother who reads as upwardly mobile, does. this is also the reason his alcoholism is treated as an inherent character flaw and proof he's eternally doomed to be just like his pa.

i keep hearing that sam has nothing going on post-s8 and as someone who's stuck 1/3rd into s9 i truly believe it. i know the gadreel thing is bad on an objective level but it has zero emotional impact for me because sam's POV is almost nonexistent. like i do not like s8 sam at all but at least there was something going on there! he was a hayes code homophobe with the haircut of a premade sim but it was something!

(i can't get into sam-explains-bisexuality-to-dean because i've complained about it enough lmfao I HATE IT SO MUCH)

gamble era's just... it has interesting ideas but executes all of them as disappointingly as possible because sera gamble is more interested in misery than a coherent story. it's btvs s6 but twice as long and about men (🤢). s6 is a series of meandering b-plots the show expects us to give a shit about punctuated with the odd outstanding MOTW ep that the writers were keeping in a drawer for a rainy day. every one of those b-plots is dropped in order to finally address the second apocalypse-shaped elephant in the room despite the previous ~19 eps treating cas like a fucking square for caring about it. still, the finale is good - ideologically i don't agree with kripke but he kinda went off with 6x22 - and sets godstiel up as an interesting antagonist for s7 only for the first 2 episodes to squander all of that potential for dick jokes. and i really enjoyed dick roman as a character! he feels a buffyverse villain and it's legitimately fun! but a good chunk of s7 is sam & dean moping and hashing out their issues with each other by killing women & girls. not to mention dean's dropped alcoholism arc AND sam's dropped hallucifer arc. like until late s7 gamble era was so scorched earth miserable that i wonder what exactly she was aiming for. 8 seasons and a brotherly murder-suicide?

this is getting a little long. suffice to say dabb + gamble bring the hater out in me.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXXIV

It was a love story from the very beginning

You Are (Part III)

(11x23)

Hi! We reached the last meta from season 11! Yay!

As I disclaimed in my last meta, this is a Destiel centered series of analysis, so the rest of the topics could be taken superficially.

Hope you enjoy! Let's start!

[[MORE]]

You are back

Çhuck, God himself, was agonizing on the floor, the event most important on the entire Universe, but even so, Dean ordered Sam to go to check on him, because Dean wanted to check on his angel, his own personal universe.

Gif credit @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs

So the relived and slight one side ways smile he showed when he realized his Cas was back, it was priceless.

So, okay, the world was about to end, but Dean has Cas back, so... 🤣🤣

And later, when Cas made a innocent appreciation about Dog's breakfast, Dean just feels so proud of him. Throwing to his brother "Cas is back."

But I know we are not here for this little scenes ... But the nefarious car talk... Okay, let's suffer now.

I for We. And you are a brother to Us

We all know there was plenty alcohol in that bunker when Dean decided not to die sober.

The camera showed us deliberately, when the hunter opens the fridge, we had beers there.

So the 'let's go to a ride to buy some beers before the world ends' was just an excuse.

He invited Sam to covered his intentions, knowing Sam would reject him for sure.

So, when Sam said no, as he was expecting, he calls for his angel.

Once in the road, the conversation wet from one point, to another. But the way it ended it wasn't pleasent.

DEAN: How you doing? You good? I mean, you know, the whole Lucifer thing.

So, this is what happens with Dean: he can openly talk about his feelings or other people's feelings with Sam or Jody, but he lost track of his own words when Cas is in front of him. So here, by this, he wanted to know about why Cas said yes, or... What was happening with him. Because he didn't see that coming. But he simplifies this whole ideas that haunting him for so many days and night without sleeping, saying 'the whole Lucifer thing'. The whole Lucifer thing means all of this, including his own deception of Cas rejecting to be saved by him. To come back to him. So there this wall between Dean's true feelings and Dean's words towards Cas. He is protecting himself from that pain, the rejection. So he is deeply concerned, but he needs to act cool.

CAS: I was just... so stupid.

Cas is still sad and feeling not usefulness.

DEAN: No, no, no. It wasn't stupid. You were right. You were right to let Lucifer ride shotgun.

Me and Sam wouldn't have done that.

By saying this, Dean is trying to convince Cas he was useful, and brave. Because he did something not Sam not him would do. Dean is trying to support him and comfort him, as a real friend would do. He could be yelling at him, and saying he did a stupid thing, as he uses to do when Cas takes this kind of decision, but this time is different, because he recognizes Cas said yes to Lucifer because he was feeling sad, and bad. And Dean didn't see that.

CAS: Well, it didn't work.

DEAN: No, but it was our best shot, and you stepped up.

CAS: I was just trying to help.

DEAN: Well, and you do help, Cas.

Dean repeats to Cas that what he did was useful, was very helpful, he is important in the fight. Now that he settled that point, is time to let the angel know he's not just important for the fight, but for him. Because he was terribly worried about him, not sleeping, imagine he could lost him forever... But his fears to rejection played Dean again.

DEAN: You know, l— You know, sometimes me and Sam have got so much going on that...we forget about everyone else.

He backtracked, but he tried, he tried to apologise because he didn't see what was happening with Cas. So he look for a shield. Sam. If he uses Sam, he won't be alone in his feelings... Because Sam loves Cas a a brother, a real friend. But not Dean. Dean is in love with Cas, so, Sam is the shield. Those feelings: BROTHERHOOD, FRIENDSHIP. Yes. Dean can handle that. But his true feelings? The first person talk? The L word?, He just can't right now... that's why he transforms I into WE/US/SAM AND ME. We didn't see you sad. We weren't aware of your depression.

CAS: Well, you do live exciting lives.

DEAN: [Chuckles] Yeah, that's one word for it.

But you're always there, you know?

With this Dean is trying to say another thing it was haunting his mind this whole time for sure. Cas always come when they call. Cas is always there for them. Cas takes care of him, all the time. He failed to Cas.

[Dean looks over at Cas]

DEAN: You're the best friend we've ever had.

Dean is feeling the cowardice all over him, using the shield, the safe WE and covering his own true emotions and feelings, to deliver a message to Cas: YOU ARE IMPORTANT, best friend, is wonderful privilege, a great place. But Cas is more than just that, even for Sam, so he adds...

You're our brother, Cas. I want you to know that.

Dean places Cas in Sam's spot: BROTHERHOOD that's the maximum place for a friend. So for sure, Sam considers Cas his brother. But is not the place Dean gave Cas in his heart. But is a safe word: BROTHER, there's not danger on that. Not feelings exposure. Not rejection.

Gif credit @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs👇

Cas' sad and disappointed expression when he hears Dean saying this is so painful to see. That's not the place he wants with Dean. So is more pain for his angelic heart. Dean, heartbroken as he was for being rejected when he tried to save him, is heartbreaking Castiel now. Misscomunication, that will take a huge place in Dabb's era.

Jealous Cas

Just a few words about this, because I'm addition to the new rejection our angel had felt in Dean's hands, when they were planing the soul bomb, they needed someone to get close to Amara. And Cas, who had witnessed the way Dean and Amara interacted, that... Bond, he gave his own opinion about the plan...

CAS: We need somebody to get close to her, someone with a... personal connection.

Cas made a face here, not a good one hehe. He knew about this, about their connection.

Goodbye

Dean said goodbye to his mom the grave ( as a foreshadow of her resurrection), to his brother, and then, it was time for Cas...

Gif credit @spnsmile 👇

The hug is tender, and Dean looks sad at the end. But then Cas throws to him his quote ...

CAS: I could go with you.

DEAN: No, no, no. No, I got to do this alone.

Castiel is always willing to die for Dean, so let him go alone to a certain death is not something he is able to handle, but because Dean is requesting him this, and then he even gave Cas a mission: to take care of Sam. That's why Cas stays. He has a new mission, to protect Sam and comfort him.

Finally, when the world was saved, the camera shows us Cas asking for Dean. Because his thoughts were with him the whole time. Just like Dean's thoughts when he wanted to get his angel back, or when they were planning to defeat Amara, and Dean asked what Cas thought about the plan, and Lucy mocked him, of course.

Gif credit @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs 👇

Need vs Want

The writers presented to us the topic we will explore in season 12/13 and even 14. What do you want, Dean?

Want is not need. The quote I NEED YOU. It was used by Dean Winchester in the crypt scene, as a shield too, to avoid the fact that he needs Cas because he loves him.

But here we have Amara

AMARA: Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you.

And she wasn't wrong, she needed her brother to be in peace, and after a visit to the bunker, finding that pic with Mary and Dean on it, she perceived Dean needed his mom the most. So Dean will need his mother to finally find what he really wants. It will be the start of his self knowledge, self acceptance and self love that will lead him to finally express his true feelings for Castiel, that we all are waiting to happen in season 15.

I hope you enjoyed this!! See you in the next meta! Season 12!

To Conclude:

Last episode from this season showed us an attempt of Dean Winchester to put into words all the things that he was struggling with. But using Sam and changing the I for We/Us is a symptom of Dean's fears of being rejected. He is not ready to express his feelings which is translated into a new deception and rejection for Cas. Misscomunication.

Ending with the Need vs Want, preparing the self knowledge path Dean will have in season 14.

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-deana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas from season 11, here you have the links.

Vol. LXII, LXIII, LXIV, LXV, LXVI, LXVII, LXVIII, LXIX, LXX, LXXI, LXXII, LXXIII.

Buenos Aires, August 11th 2020 5:30 PM

[dotthings]

I recommend reading @occamshipper‘s post here [x] that does a whole lot to further unpack some spn fandom dynamics, beyond what I touched on myself earlier today, but more, discusses the evolving nature of SPN itself. Which got me thinking further (as you do).

With 6 episodes left of SPN left on the clock, it seems like a good time to talk more about my love for this series as a whole, and my perspective on the earliest seasons of SPN vs later seasons. 

I’ve tried to articulate this on various platforms at different times, but it’s sometimes hard to explain, because it’s a dichotomy but not mutually exclusive.

People will make all kinds of assumptions just because I’m expanded cast friendly, because I’m a Cas fan, because I’m ride or die Team Free Will, because I ship Destiel. Some will think but of course I couldn’t possibly have loved S1-2 with a bone deep love, couldn’t possibly have internalized Sam and Dean and relate to them and see my own weaknesses and strengths reflected there, didn’t have 15 years of emotional roller coaster with SPN. Not just 15 seasons, 15 years. I did have to step away a few times and took breaks from it but not years-long, so I have witnessed every stage of fandom and every stage of canon as it unfolded.

Min brought up in her post how earliest SPN started with archetypes. While the characters were also layered characters, they mostly stayed in their archetypal boxes. Not just how they mirrored archetypes of other media SPN has always been a response to (Dean is Han, Sam is Luke and so on) but how they fell into archetypes established of themselves. Early SPN had a start on overturning those self-created archetypes and expectations, a beginning. Dean in particular very quickly turned out to be not what even the show’s creator expected and they ran with it. Kripke created a show he envisioned as being about monster hunts, like Kolchak, like X-Files, and it was Bob Singer who said no brah it’s about the emotional bonds, it’s about the emotional story, that’s our unique hand to play, and whatever issues I have with EP Bob Singer later on, I respect how right he was about that. 

The irony of Dabb era constantly being ripped down and attacked for...being that, simply because it’s not only the brother bond any more. 

One popular negative meme in spn fandom involves complaining SPN isn’t scary any more. True, the style of its horror changed, it changed visually, and I do appreciate the early visual style, but the flip side of that statement is that SPN started out relying on jump scares and mere style for its frights, when even in the earliest seasons it was clear the most horrifying or wrenching moments were going to be emotional. As I said on twitter, over time SPN became an increasingly complex study of its main characters, with escalating moral quandaries, and increasingly a rumination on emotional horror, conquering of inner demons, and most of all the importance of love of all kinds. 

See, the thing is, I really really REALLY loved S1 and 2. No you really can’t even know how much I loved SPN in those seasons. It had a gestalt that cannot be recaptured, and I dove in head-first. The dusty back roads, the intense familial emotional storylines, the haunted houses, the monsters, the dilapidated or forgotten places, the cursed apple orchards, the abandoned buildings, the brothers, the tears. Yes, it’s gorgeous. Let’s light a candle and remember it fondly.

When I rewatch it holds up well enough...it also feels claustrophobic. Limited. Small. So small. Yes still beautiful. But much as I loved the Winchesters and their story and their family already then, a lot of that love is also bleedback because of learning so much more about them. So much more. After that. 

When I rewatch anything before Carver era it feels like that, too small, and I miss the full breadth of what the characters became. I do have some issues with Carver, but he did a lot of great things too. 

By S3 the magic was dwindling for me a little. S3 is when I started to think I was going to just get tired of the show and that was bewildering tbh, because S1-2 were just SO DAMN AMAZING to me. But that’s how it goes sometimes. 

S4 banged the doors open and blew my mind. It wasn’t just Cas’s arrival, but Cas was a herald of it. Cas the most of any member of Sam and Dean’s extended family got the closest to them, could carry stories of his own, and most embodied some of SPN’s biggest themes. But it wasn’t about Cas’s arrival alone.

I thought I knew all SPN was capable of and S4 showed me otherwise and I was a giddy, proud SPN fan about S4. LOOK AT WHAT OUR LITTLE SHOW DID. The canvas got bigger, the character stories got even stronger, more powerful, and more painful. Let’s pedal to the metal and see what she can do.

Season after season and showrunner after showrunner. Even my least favorite showrunner had something more to show me about these characters, something more to learn. (There are a few arcs with every showrunner where I did feel like SPN was spinning its wheels, I’m talking in aggregate, by era, although I don’t love every era the same). 

When I rewatch earliest SPN I miss the Sam and Dean I’ve gotten to know because of course they aren’t there yet, they are just beginning. I have a mirror to that with Cas. When I rewatch S4-6, even parts of Carver era. S4/5 Cas is still exciting. Those are his beginnings, like S1-2 are Sam and Dean’s. But I miss all Cas became. I miss how far he grew. Watching Sam, Dean, Cas on screen while also missing Sam, Dean, Cas. They also don’t feel complete to me without their earliest seasons in my mind to build forward from.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with me about the goodness of modern SPN, but they could at least admit that the SPN they loved left the building long ago, eons ago, instead of staying around season after season just to tear down, to hate, to attack. Everything from character development existing as a concept to the basic easy to grok idea that people can love more than one person to *insert repetitive wanking here on how Dabb ruined SPN by utilizing themes SPN has always always had there since the start and took them farther* to just being mad that S15 isn’t S1.  Modern SPN gets torn to shreds for being SPN only stronger with more complexity, more character pov, more emotional unpacking, more and more about family and how family is constructed, and with a rich visual language and use of symbolism that can hold its own with earlier seasons, and it’s just plain fact, this vitriol was  aimed at Carver as well as at Dabb, FYI, and I have my own issues with both of them. 

Is it really REALLY necessary to hate on a show that has always been billed at being about family for being...about family. Really? Do people even go here?? What is UP with that. Season after season of hard core stans preaching “SPN is about family” and now they’re pissed that...SPN is about family. Upteen repetitions of whining about “too soap opera.” As others have pointed out, if you didn’t already figure out that SPN was and is a family soap opera with monsters, there isn’t much help to be had for you. Upteen repetitions of whining that SPN grants redemptive arcs. What show have folks even been watching all these years????? Upteen rages because on a 15 season show characters grow, things change, and S1 and S15 are not the same.

SPN has always been about the characters most of all, it’s always been about the emotions most of all, it’s always been about relationships most of all. 

SPN is not eternally 2 boys in a car shooting monsters in the face on a back road dilapidated barn while those 2 boys repeat their first look archetypal roles, undisturbed in an endless loop. I can recognize how beautiful S1-2 were without discarding all that came after, and I’m realizing more and more how Dabb era is making me reflect over the whole series run, and giving me a new perspective on the long journey of the characters. 

Speaking as a fan who has loved this show since September 2005, but is also intrigued by current storylines, that melding of old and new, of new light shed over the past, while bringing the story forward, moving the characters forward, is also beautiful to me.

[mittensmorgul]

I reblogged another version of this earlier, but I’m curious now... I assume this is referring to the Jack and Cas half of the episode, and I’m wondering if Jack won’t be the “Jonathan” Character to Cas’s “experienced detective” Mark... just... bearing that potential interpretation in mind as we go into this.

Huh. Highway to Heaven. Huh.

I am.....losing my mind

[mittensmorgul]

Dabb.... uh...

(link to tweet) 

Tonight on Supernatural:

Andrew.... we’re gonna have some words...

Wise man said just walk this way To the dawn of the light The wind will blow into your face As the years pass you by Hear this voice from deep inside It's the call of your heart Close your eyes and you will find Passage out of the dark

Here I am (Here I am) Will you send me an angel Here I am (Here I am) In the land of the morning star

The wise man said just find your place In the eye of the storm Seek the roses along the way Just beware of the thorns

Here I am (Here I am) Will you send me an angel Here I am (Here I am) In the land of the morning star

Wise man said just raise your hand And reach out for the spell Find the door to the promised land Just believe in yourself Hear this voice from deep inside It's the call of your heart Close your eyes and you will find The way out of the dark

Here I am (Here I am) Will you send me an angel Here I am (Here I am) In the land of the morning star

[elizabethrobertajones]

14x20 watching notes

yes I am aware it’s 3am, did you really think I would be able to sleep after last episode?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16865311/chapters/51140551

[mittensmorgul]

from 4.02:

Dean: I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings, halos -- you know, Michael Landon. Not dicks.

(it’s been a long time coming, honestly)

x

x

okay! so Dabb is talking about the show Highway To Heaven (which the hypable article basically confirms in its title) where an angel comes to earth and pairs up with a human, who’s apprehensive at first, but ends up helping him save lost souls on earth. i’m not sure if this is just going to be paralleled by Jack and Cas going on their case, (or maybe by deancas?) BUT the final line in the wikipedia article is really making me 🤡

x

[pregstiel]

there should've been a s15/general dabb era episode where we learn that jess has started haunting the building where she died (this is literally the era that brought back mary i want to see it deconstruct "sam's blank slate girlfriend dies to kick off his journey").

highlights:

- sam going back to stanford accomplishes a few purposes - he can be triggered to discuss jess (a lot of the episode is focused on these flashbacks/recountings as they try to solve the case), giving the audience a feel for her character, he can learn how his friends/peers/mentors are doing now, he can learn how HE is viewed (because you know "guy's who girlfriend died in a fire then disappeared then became wanted by the fbi" is a commonly discussed stanford tale), and he can reflect on how he's changed since then (depending on the writer, this would also let them take finale jabs - think "it was a good car")

- scene early on where sam's posing as an fbi agent talking to jess's parents trying to get information about the haunting, and they tell him they think her boyfriend, who had a sketchy past and skipped town afterwards, set the fire. one of her parents looks sam in the eye when they say that sam winchester killed their daughter while sam can only nod. he agrees.

(it's been 15 years since, i think people in the episode can be excused for not recognizing sam. possibly the show would simply weasel out of it by sam insisting on coming and getting rowena to cast a glamor on him as a disguise - this could also serve as comic relief early on)

- dean goes back to stanford! talk about stanford era dean on my television screen! bastards!

- saileen growth! even years later, jess is still a ghost in sam's life - and her relationship to sam was radically different from his relationship to eileen. i want to see the deconstruction of the dead sainted figure vs. the living flawed human! i want to see eileen supporting him when he's lost someone so tragically (and possibly being able to relate to losing a partner like this? for $10 cw network please expand on eileen's backstory). i want to watch sam confide in her, and watch this bring them closer together!

- while i doubt eileen would have much conflict about how different these relationships are, i do think seeing her confront the original "killed by sam winchester's dick" character would be interesting! sam deals with a lot of guilt over these deaths - how does eileen handle that? how does she handle her own worries that being close to sam will get her killed (again)? does she feel guilt over the fact that she was resurrecting but jess is now a ghost - the exact same situation she was in? yet again, eileen was placed in a situation where she was the only survivor - i want to see her struggle with it!

- jess never really learned about the supernatural, she died confused and afraid, with no idea what was happening. she isn't tied to an object, but her need to have the question of why? answered keeps her trapped in the veil. to stop her (she has been hurting people, possibly replicating her own murder in an attempt to understand what happened) the climax would be sam confessing to jess who he is and what exactly attacked her that night, along with telling her she was avenged, but still frantically apologizing. i don't know if she would absolve him or even care that vengeance had been cared out - but either way, she would finally be able to rest

- episode ends with eileen taking sam to a place he mentioned loving in college, and she jokingly remarks that the food isn't as good as he remembers. they make a new memory there, and it's the first time we see sam happy since the stanford case kicked off - but he seems lighter, knowing jess is at peace.

[zmediaoutlet]

SPN asks, 6 + 16 :)

woooo translantic friendo I’m having a pint of Murphy’s stout with your answers, may I type better as a result --

6. If you could rewrite one season, which one would it be? Why?

heyy another season to rewrite -- this time let’s go for s12, because it was honestly so close to being good but then they just... lost their way. What the hell happened. (Andrew Dabb happened.)

So, Mary. I mean, lbr, it’d be better if she had never come back. Amara should’ve just given Dean a gift card to Checker Auto Parts and called that good. But, if you’re going to rewrite the season you might as well deal with the building blocks they gave you, so: Mary. It was fine that she was super flawed, not really maternal, etc---the problem was that they only hired her for like 7 episodes or whatever, so the actual serious problem of her presence kept getting dumped in favor of other shit. Having her recur in a serious way would help immensely---letting her be as awkward and wrongfooted as she really while she did it---and it probably would’ve helped if she’d been played by the young!Mary actress so that we’re really sold on how she *doesn’t belong here*. Bringing that theme forward and sticking with it would help a lot.

BMoL: I don’t mind them as a concept, but my god was the execution a fumble. They’re supposed to be awesome and instead they come off like nincompoops. Completely erase their whole shitty paramilitary vibe and make them all in the model of Mick, Toni, and Ketch: dangerous, academic, with a sense of morality that’s completely skewed by the evil upbringing. Mistress Shitty McGonagall and their shipping container fortress is gone; instead, let it be a legitimate attempt at seducing the hunters over to the Side of Right, and more completely vicious takedowns of monsters who aren’t actually doing anything bad. Great opportunity to kill off Garth, here, with that being the backbreaking straw that shows them all that this is wrong. It should be less of a “we’re comically evil dictators” and more of the themes that they started with --- class conflict, chilly ‘logical’ choices vs emotional reactions, sedate Rolls Royce vs too-loud muscle car. Ending in a detente without a hopelessly embarrassing First Person Shooter episode to make Sam come off like a lunatic would help.

Kelly, Lucifer, and the nephilim: ...I ended up liking Jack, so I guess I have to keep this storyline. But soooo much of Lucifer/Crowley just needs to be excised/ripped apart. First: Crowley has to make sure Lucifer actually goes to the cage, because the ultrastupidity of him getting ‘revenge’ ruined Crowley’s character. Then you’re left with the Princes vying for Kelly’s uterus, each hoping to raise their fallen king’s baby. This is a great opportunity for the American hunters and the BMoL to work together to try to find and/or bring them down. A fun twist would be that Sam and Dean want to kill the baby while the BMoL want to control the power source.

Overall: just write everyone to be less stupid and the season works a lot better, haha.

16. What character death hurt you the most?

As previously stated I love character death, character death is the best. And in a real sense, the only one that like **hurt** was Dean in 15.20 because of course that was the last time, forever, and even if it ended up being deliriously happy afterward it’s not often that television can make me do gulpy sobby tears. Hot damn, that was great. Painful. Both.

For a less-obvious one, though, Dean’s death at the end of s9. I mean, it didn’t hurt because of course he was coming back, but it was a brutal one. When everything had been so bleak, but you knew Sam was on his way back to forgiving him---nearly had, but stubbornness and making his point meant he couldn’t quite get over that last hurdle--and then how beautifully it was filmed, and how sudden it was, and Sam’s face when he saw and how everything else that he thought mattered fell away. The way their eyes met across the warehouse. I never liked that ‘we’re proud of us’ line, that felt stapled-on for some weird theme -- what mattered was Sam helping him stagger trying not to look at his face, and then how he was alone in the dark later, and how you know he had to wash the blood from under his fingernails and thought no with tense clarity, and knew exactly why Dean had done what he did at the start of that year. Fantastic enough make your stomach ache. Love it.

[dimples-of-discontent]

My Cockles Crack Masterpost:

Hello, yes, did any of you need a little pick-me-up? I know I do. So I’ve collected for you all most of the Cockles crack that I’ve written. I left off collaborative pieces of crack and ones attached to long gifsets. But all the text posts (especially “Jensen vs. Jensen’s brain”) are all there. I’ll drop a cut somewhere since this baby is long but I hope you all enjoy. 

LONG LIVE TEAM DUMPSTER MANSION!!! 

Dabb: So, let’s have AU Cas.

SPN writers: Cool. Why don’t we ask Misha to do one of his accents?

Jensen: *flings door open* *pants* AM I TOO LATE?! DID I MISS IT?!

BONUS alternative by @postmodernmulticoloredcloak​:

Dabb: So, let’s have AU Cas.

Everyone: …

Jensen: *starts vibrating at a very high frequency*

Misha: …okay I’ll do an accent

Isn’t it so weird that none of Jensen’s kids look like Misha?

Jensen is CONSTANTLY hosting his own episodes of Queer Eye and every one is about Misha.

[Below the cut]

Jensen: *looks up suddenly and stares into the middle distance* *vibrates at a high frequency*

Danneel: What is it, babe?

Jensen: Somewhere…Misha is doing an accent. Badly. He’s doing it badly, but he’s still doing it.

Danneel: You’ve gotta go!

Jensen: You’re right, I’ve gotta go!

Somewhere in Austin a high-pitched whistle blows.

Jensen, holding his ears and running into the kitchen: Alright, alright! What?!

Danneel, points wordlessly at laptop screen where this is displayed.

Jensen: Oh no.

Danneel, accusatory: I thought you HID those!

Jensen: I did! *pause* Why would he look in my dirty laundry anyway?

*Danneel stares*

Jensen: Oh right. I guess he needed something to wear.

Danneel: Pretty dumb, babe.

Jensen: Hmmm…yeah. *pause, then, hopeful* I guess we couldn’t fly to Hawaii to get them, right? *pause* No, no of course not. *mumbles* Damn shorts.

Text convo, probably:

Jensen: mish miss you. send me a pic.

Misha: *photo of something random like an interesting leaf*

Jensen: no, i mean like i MISS you miss you. send a pic of you.

Misha: *photo of his foot*

Jensen: oh for fuck’s sake! *posts flex meme and tags misha in it*

Jensen: there now it’s public you have to do it. and you can fuck off.

Misha: *sends dick pic*

Me: god Misha has the perfect jawline. Not that it matters.

Lizard brain: lick it

Me: yes, yes if I actually had a real relationship with him that would be well and good but…

Lizard brain: LICKIT

Me: yes, yes I heard you but what’s crucial is that Misha is one of the very best humans out there not that he has the stubbled and chiseled jawline of a Greek god so I really think we should focus on…

Jensen (in the distance): oh my God! it doesn’t have to be a choice, dummy!! L I CK IT!!

Jensen’s brain: It’s Misha’s birthday. We love Misha. Say it.

Jensen: No. We are in public. I am just going to call him “the man” and post a cute pic of us in matching outfits.

Jensen’s brain: NOOOOOO…SAYITSAYITSAYITWELOVEHIMSAYIT

Jensen: God fine ok…but I’m using an emoji not words.

Jensen’s brain: Acceptable.

Jensen: And also I’m going to add “bro”.

Jensen’s brain: …. 😒

Jensen: So now no one will ever know.

Jensen’s brain: 🙄

(About this mess right here)

Jensen’s brain: hold his hand

Jensen: NO it will look gay!

Jensen’s brain: but…you are gay for each other? so who cares?

Jensen: Yes, but we can’t LOOK gay ok? So just shake hands.

Jensen’s brain: fine 🙄

**Jensen does whatever this subby, hand-groping bullshit is**

Jensen’s brain: is that…. is that how humans shake hands? in a non-gay way?

Jensen: Shut up.

Jensen’s brain: i’m just trying to understand

Jensen: Shut up, asshole

Jensen’s brain: 😏

Look, I know it’s not going to happen, but all I want in life is for Jensen to respond to Misha’s shirtless video by saying “Hey Mish, if you need a shirt I have a few old ones for you.”

New theory: Jensen gives Misha so many shirts because otherwise his natural inclination is to run around bare-chested and Jensen’s poor, queer heart cannot handle it. (Photo version.)

Cockles trash cat meme origin

So you know how you sometimes go out with you friends and one of them gets way too drunk and ends up getting confessional with someone they don’t know that well? And you kind of want to stop them but, y’know, it’s their life and their choices so you have nothing to do but sit back and watch and be equal parts mildly horrified that they are spilling secrets to a relative stranger and incredibly amused at how they will feel about it later?

THAT is how I feel watching Misha tell the same story, over and over, about wearing Jensen’s hand-me-down shirts.

Misha, you’re currently my intensely emotional drunk friend and you need to stop before you reach the point of crying in the club. Neither of us can handle that. Thanks in advance.

Misha on social media: hahaha…Jensen is my cabin boy…that means he’s a sub who likes BDSM…hahaha…gonna make a comment about a giant space tongue rimming Jensen b/c why not lolz…gonna post a pic of myself covered in white goo and imply that it’s come from the conclusion of a threesome with Jensen and Jared…haha I’m such a scamp…I’m just incorrigible…teehee…

Misha when a fan mentions clothing: WHAT’S A JENSEN??? I’ve never heard of one and even if I had I definitely wouldn’t have had any non-heterosexual thoughts or feelings about him…and we’re absolutely not so close that we share in casual intimacy without a second thought…what could possibly make you think that?? I DON’T EVEN LIKE JENSEN OK!!!

Stages of Cockles in Gifs.

I feel like Jensen is one con away from straight-up answering an only tangentially-related question with, “…and that’s why I love Misha. You do know I love Misha, right? Like, love love him, like the way we love our wives. I feel like you guys get it so let’s just move on. Next question!”

At the next con, Jensen and Misha will be projecting the words “JUST SO YOU KNOW, I LOVE THIS MAN” on the side of the building across from the hotel in case you somehow miss that message in their panels.

At the next con, Jensen and Misha will be screening a 12-minute video that is just them giggling while one of them films the other; there will be no lines and nothing else will happen. Fandom will deem it a masterpiece.

At the next con, instead of his usual classic rock covers, Jensen will be performing a spoken word piece about how great Misha is, accompanied by Jared on bongos and Richard Speight on the kazoo.

In the final episode we are brought to the realization that the show DOES exist in our universe and on our timeline and that this entire time J2M have ACTUALLY BEEN TFW and kept this cover story about being actors on a TV show to keep us from knowing what they are really up to. Most of the show is just footage of their lives, though some of the things on the show were just absurd and to keep us off track.

Misha Collins is an actual angel. Jensen Ackles is a grumpy-faced softie with the biggest nerd streak. Jared Padalecki is a fiercely loyal and intelligent guy who has fought off more than his share of darkness. Gen and Danneel are actually supernatural creatures though neither will fully commit to being an angel or demon. Vicki is too powerful to be captured on film. And of course Jensen and Misha have been husbands for years. It was hard to hide that one on the show.

Jensen: *does interview quote game on his own* Great! Now, I’m gonna go get Misha. He’s gonna be so terrible at this game lol…He has the worst memory and never watches the show…hahaha isn’t that so cute?

Interviewer: oh actually we weren’t quite done interviewing you…

Jensen: yeah but Mish is gonna be so bad at this and I can’t afford to miss that! Imma go find him right now!

Interviewer: you really don’t have to…we’re actually talking to you all individually.

Jensen: ….

Interviewer: y’know, so we can cut the clips together?

Jensen: ….

Interviewer: And because you probably have a lot of other interviews at this huge press event for your 300th episode?

Jensen: ….. Yeah, no, I’m getting him right now. Hey, Mish! Get in here!

Filming with JenMish (aka “why’s Dean wearing a seatbelt?”)

**Jensen makes a dirty joke and Misha cracks up** **Misha and Jensen playfully push each other around the front seat of the car** **Misha says one thing that is mildly amusing and Jensen falls over laughing**

Sanchez, conferring with Bob Singer: What do you do to stop this?

Singer: strap one of them down

Sanchez: You mean, like, tell them to get it together or else?

Singer: No, no. I mean LITERALLY strap one of them down.

Sanchez: ….

Singer: Why do you think they get tied to so many chairs? **sighs** These two have cost us so much in duct tape.

photographer: alright, everyone, fight each other for pie! jensen: mish, you should pull my hair. misha: why? it’s not like that would stop you moving your arm. jensen: …. jensen: misha. you. should. PULL. MY. HAIR. misha: ooohhhhhh! jared: I don’t want to be here for this.

Cockles is the gay booze cruise of ships.

a text exchange that probably happened: jensen: I can’t believe ur still going running on vacation jensen: nerd misha: hello to you too. … misha: awww, babe, you must really miss me! that comment is so sappy! jensen: shut up misha: you “dig” the “WHOLE THING” huh? jensen: fuck off misha: don’t I know it!! jensen: fuck OFF misha: now I have to go like it. … misha: ok done. you huge softie. jensen: not always misha: oh really? misha: how about now? jensen: not now jensen: call me misha; as you wish…

Jensen’s brain (Jensain): holy shit!! look at our hot husband!! mmm…we like the grey and the sweat and the beard and, hey, did we give him that shirt? Jensen: yep. Jensen’s brain: and he sounds all smart and sincere, which turns us on….WOW we’ve been apart for too long! Jensen: tell me about it. Jensen’s brain: Say something about how good he looks. Jensen: I can’t. It’s public. Jensen’s brain: You gotta. Jensen: I. CAN’T. Jensen’s brain: But how these bitches gonna know he’s yours!? Do you know how many people are looking at this video RIGHT NOW?! Jensen: OMG Jensen’s brain: OMG Jensen: they gotta know… Jensen’s brain: YESSSSS!! DO IT!! Tell everyone the sexy, scruffy, deep-voiced, poetry-reciting motherfucker standing in the sunlight belongs to you! Jensen: I can’t say that. I’m just..gonna…tease him? about something? Jensen’s brain: u serious? 😒 Jensen: Well…no… Jensen’s brain: tell him you like the whole package! Jensen: I cannot use the word “package” about Misha in public. Jensen’s brain: 😏 Jensen’s brain: Fine! Can you at least mention how strong he is? Jensen: … I guess that’s less…gay… Jensen’s brain: uh-huh, sure. way less gay. 🙄 Jensen: ok, I did it. now leave me alone. I have to post a picture of my family so that no one suspects I only logged in because I have alerts set for Misha. Jensen’s brain: … Jensen’s brain: hey, you know who looks sexy in flannel PJs?? Jensen: ALRIGHT THAT’S IT

me: *wakes up in a cold sweat and sits upright in bed*

But how much of the mockumentary did Jensen shoot??!?

Misha is busting out of his shirt and jacket in those EW pics again, which makes me think something like this exchange must have taken place:

EW stylists: So, what size is Misha? SPN costumers: Eh, he’s the small one. EW stylists: But…he doesn’t…look small? SPN costumers: Nah, trust us, he’s the small one. EW stylists: Uh, looks more like he’s a 6’ wall of muscle but ok Misha: What’s a clothes? I will wear it. *Jensen sobbing in the background*

”I’m Full Frontal in Here Dude: Guest Starring Misha Collins” title of Jensen’s sex tape.

Jensen’s brain: you should give Misha that valentine.

Jensen: Yeah, good. It will work for the video. Like, as a joke.

Jensen’s brain: no. not joke. he’s your valentine.

Jensen: No he’s…

Jensen’s brain: you can’t lie to me. I’m you.

Jensen: shit. that’s true.

…

Jensen’s brain: Sooooo…valentine?

Jensen: Fine, but I’m gonna call him “buddy” when I give it to him.

Jensen’s brain: 😐

Jensen: People can’t KNOW!!

Jensen’s brain: You literally just called him your valentine on camera on a livestream but OK WHATEVER make sure you say “buddy.”

Jensen: I did WHAT??!

Jensen’s brain: Why do I bother? 🙄

Destiel AU where Cas is a poet who writes secret poems for Dean and posts them anonymously to an Instagram account that he gets Dean to follow and Dean falls in love with the mystery man he feels is speaking to him…and then realizes it was the guy he already crushed on from afar.

aka AU where Destiel is Cockles (with some tiny changes)

[mittensmorgul]

lol he goes on to show the subtle difference in how he holds his knife, and says EVERYTHING IS IN CONTEXT. I mean... https://zlw3.tumblr.com/post/66287749813/eliot-what-you-think-the-only-thing-i-know-how

oh, and here’s the video, which is probably better than a gif set because you can see him move... in context... :’D

15x07: Dean Sublimation Winchester part 374729

This quote is from Leverage, in this scene Christian’s character, a badass fighter, shows that he not only is a badass fighter extraordinaire but he also likes cooking and has 200 people to make finger food for - so “get out of my kitchen I’m busy, I’m not just a fighter I have another side to me too, deal with it” is the gist of it.

Well, I said this episode would be relevant to Dean’s sublimation and his other side beneath the performance, I wonder if cooking and karaoke are the only things alluded or what else we might get to add to our ever growing list of things Dean says at first he isn’t into but he definitely is into.

Video source from leverage

[drsilverfish]

Dean’s Jungian Shadow Arc in S14 - Confronting the Internal Father (2x22 to 14x20)

“This meeting with oneself is, at first, the meeting with one’s own shadow. The shadow is a tight passage, a narrow door, whose painful constriction no one is spared who goes down to the deep well. But one must learn to know oneself in order to know who one is” 

(Jung, The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious 1991: p21) 

Jung believed that the psyche was composed, in part, of a relation to “archetypes” (shared human psychic formations). One of these is the archetype of the father.

He distinguishes between the actual father (i.e. your Dad) and the “imago” of the father (a term he borrowed from Freud). That means, the psychological internalised construct of the father, which partly resides in the unconscious, and which is not identical to your real Dad, because it’s about your childish and foundational perception of them, but, also, for Jung (not Freud) it is linked to the archetypal (or mythic) father. The father archetype (for Jung, who has a gendered perception of the world rooted in his time-period) is about power and control. And when someone subconsciously over-identifies with the father-archetype, this results in out-of-control power fantasies:

"The danger is just this unconscious identity with the archetype, the more a father identifies with the archetype, the more unconscious and irresponsible, indeed psychotic ... he ... will be"

 (Jung, 1906-1916 writings collected as Freud and Psychoanalysis: 1961:p316).

So, subconsciously over-identifying with the father-imago has negative consequences for a person, and those around them. 

Let’s talk Dean, The Shadow and Dean’s Daddy Issues.

Remember this? (Gods but the colour palette was gorgeous back then).

This is Dean shooting Azazel, the yellow-eyed demon who killed his mother, Mary Winchester, with the Colt in 2x22 All Hell Breaks Loose Part II.

He does it with his father, John Winchester’s spirit’s help (released from Hell):

But, when I say help, remember that, symbolically, John has also been mirrored to Azazel, by means of Azazel’s possession of John (1x22 Devil’s Trap):

Hooboy -  Daddy issues right out of the gate. That’s not news to any of us. The whole show is about “wayward sons”, after all.  

Fast foward twelve years, and this is Dean (in the role of The FatherTM) almost shooting Jack, his own adopted Nephilim son (who also represents his child-self) with the Hammurabi, the mystical gun Mark II, which Chuck forged and named after an ancient Babylonian law which codifies “an eye for an eye” (i.e. a “Revenge Gun”TM):

Jack the Nephilim, whose eyes glow yellow when he is in his power, and who has (apparently) killed Mary Winchester (again):

(Jack in 13x14 Good Intentions)

Notice that both scenarios - Dean, mystical gun, yellow-eyed supernatural being who killed his mother - take place in a graveyard. 

Mary is dead twice (at least as far as Dean is concerned) and her death haunts the scenes.

Chuck has deliberately set up the second scenario to mirror the first (he is, in my view, testing Dean, the way he tested Abraham).

At this moment, in Moriah, we could say Dean is possessed by his Shadow, in the form of the father archetype, the Ghost of John Winchester, in his subconsious. He is ready to act out John Winchester’s revenge quest redux, and in doing so, to do violence all over again to his child-self, in the form of Jack, who symbolises child-Dean in this moment. 

A repetition of the damage done to Dean himself as a child; who was forced, by the tragedy of Mary’s death, and his own father’s traumatic revenge-quest, to grow up too fast, is playing out before our eyes.

Jack-the-mirror, who lost his own mother at birth, and looks twenty-something but is only two, kneels, a willing sacrifice, in the role of child-Dean, before his father, adult-Dean, who is shadow-possessed by John’s Ghost, ready to be murdered, just as John “murdered” Dean’s childhood. 

“The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate. That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner opposite, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn into opposing halves.” 

(Carl Jung, Collected Works “Christ: A Symbol of the Self”).

Jung suggests we are subject to “fate” (i.e. our own unconscious forces taking control of our actions) when we do not confront our Shadow. 

Ties in beautifully to Supernatural’s larger theme of fate vs free will, right?

Now, back then, when Dean shot yellow-eyed demon No 1, Azazel, Dean was (as his subconscious taunted him at the time) “Daddy’s blunt little instrument” (3x10 Dream a Little Dream of Me)....

Back then, Dean obeyed his father and called him “Sir”,  “...following Dad’s orders like a good little soldier” (Sam in 1x10 Asylum). Sammy was the rebellious one.

When Dean stood up to his Dad, it wasn’t for himself, it was to protect Sam:

(1x20 Dead Man’s Blood). 

Dean’s obedience was linked to his angel-engineered role as the Michael vessel (God’s obedient son) whilst Sam’s rebelliousness was linked to his equally engineered role as the Lucifer vessel (God’s rebellious son).

They ripped up that script and wrote their own ending in 5x22 Swan Song, but, while Sam said “Yes” to Lucifer (his Shadow-self) and beat the Devil, Dean said “No” to Michael.

S14 is the season in which Dean, having said “Yes” to AU!Michael in order to beat Lucfier (again) in 13x23 Let the Good Times Roll, undertakes his own Shadow-work. 

Dabb’s Ouroboros narrative is in full swing.  

Back then, John’s revenge quest, to get the yellow-eyed demon who killed Mary Winchester, became Dean’s mission too. He internalised it (even before he knew about Azazel). Sam wanted to get out of hunting, Dean was driven to follow in his father’s footsteps (whatever his real feelings and desires were, he buried them to follow the “family business”). 

Here is Young!Dean in Bad Boys (9x07) looking out of the window at Young!Sam in the Impala, about to give up his happiness at Sonny’s and his young love with Robin in order to put his Dad’s way of life (hunting/ revenge), and his brother (who needs him) first:

One way a child deals with a parent who is hurting them is to want to become them, to idolise them and to believe that they’re right (Dad’s car, Dad’s music, Dad’s machismo, Dad’s heterosexuality, Dad’s way of drinking and squashing down emotion). 

DEAN: “We have the coolest Dad in the world.  He’s a superhero.” (3x08 A Very Supernatural Christmas). 

Jung would say Dean internalised a strong identification (partly conscious, partly unconscious) with the father imago. 

Dean’s been on a long, long journey to get out from under his father’s shadow. We’ve seen that struggle over many seasons.

AU!Michael in Dean’s head in S14 represented the repressive ghost of John Winchester embodied as a destructive archangel in Dean’s mind, i.e. serious crunch time for Dean’s psyche - things coming to a real crisis point for him, psychologically. 

Dark!Kaia makes the parallel in 14x03 The Scar (just hear “John Winchester” for “him”):

KAIA: “You’re no different from him. Threats, violence anything to get what you want.” DEAN: “I am nothing like him.” KAIA: “Yeah you are: you always have been!”

You can read some of my previous meta on Dean’s struggle with AU!Michael as his repression/ the Ghost of John Winchester here (which also emphasises that one aspect of John’s repression of Dean is, in subtext, the repression of Dean’s queerness):

Queer Gods and Monsters (14x02)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179226151009/queer-gods-and-monsters-14x02

14x03 The Scar - Dean Confronts Dark!Kaia (Dopplegangers, Mirrors and John Winchester’s Ghost)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179463975289/shirtlesssammy-14x03the-scar-meta-writers

AU!Michael and the Closet (14x10 Nihilism)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182120562849/aumichael-and-the-closet

Jung and Dean’s Journey Towards Self-Integration in 14x11 Damaged Goods

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182299438269/jung-and-deans-journey-towards-self-integration

In 14x02 we get this shot of Dean facing his mirror-self, AU!Michael, and Michael tells him, “I own you!”

In 14x10, Dean, desperate to contain AU!Michael, manages (with Sam and Cas’ help) to lock him in a fridge-locker in his own mind:

 And he says, “I am the cage!”

Dean then builds a Ma’lak box and intends to lock himself in it and throw himself (and AU!Michael with him) to the bottom of the ocean. Yikes. At the start of 14x12 Prophet and Loss, he dreams that he is alone, and terrified, in that very box:

Sam says to him about this plan (14x12 Prophet and Loss):  “But what you’re talking about is far worse than death. Michael’s an archangel. He could literally keep you buried in a coffin, alive, forever.”

Remember Dean also described his possession by AU!Michael as like “drowning” over and over (14x03 The Scar): 

DEAN: “I don’t remember most of what Michael did with me because I was under water. Drowning. And that I remember. I felt every second of it - clawing, fighting for air. I thought I could make it out but I couldn’t: I wasn’t strong enough.”

Now hear what is happening, psychologically... 

Dean’s subconscious, his Shadow-self (aka AU!Michael representing the Ghost of John Winchester) i.e. Dean’s own self-repression and over-control, both inherited from John’s impact on him, is saying to Dean “I own you” and “I am the cage”, you will be buried in a coffin, alive, with me forever. You are under water and you can’t make it out.    

That’s pretty scary right? Dean is trapped by himself (by the traumatic internalised impact of his past and his consequent over-identification with his father).

If this were IRL, we’d have given Dean the name of a good therapist, a long time ago. But it’s Supernatural, so instead Dean gets to confront the ghost of his father, John Winchester, in the flesh, in 14x13 Lebanon. He wishes on the magic pearl to get “Michael out of my friggin’ head” and lo and behold John Winchester magically appears before him (cemeting the symbolism of AU!Michael in Dean’s head representing/ mirroring John Winchester). 

Dean gets to hear his Dad say, “You are a grown man and I am incredibly proud of you.” Dean gets to say to Sam, that he wouldn’t change anything: “I’m good with who I am. I’m good with who you are. ‘Cause our lives – they’re ours.”

He gets to tell his father he “has a family”, not a conventional one - “an angel and Lucifer’s kid”, but it’s good: 

 An Angel, and Lucifer’s Kid? Queer-Coding and Dean’s “Found Family” in 14x13 Lebanon

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182794294534/an-angel-and-lucifers-kid-queer-coding-and

And he gets to choose to let his Dad go, with love. What beautiful psychological progress, huh? AU!Michael is out of his head and so is the controlling Ghost of his Father, replaced by a loving one!

But, it’s not that simple. When the pearl is destroyed, time is reset and AU!Michael is still installed in Dean’s noggin. It’s only when Dean and Cas have been whammied by the Queer Gorgon, that AU!Michael (Dean’s repression, remember) finally gets out of his mind (14x14 Ouroboros): 

The Kiss of the Queer Gorgon in 14x14 Ouroboros

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183323000224/the-kiss-of-the-queer-gorgon-in-14x14-ouroboros

Jack (Dean’s child-self mirror) kills AU!Michael (John’s repressive ghost mirror) but, the burden is great and the cost is (at least part of) his soul. 

Moreover, when Mary is subsequently “killed” by Jack (you all know by now I have a theory she’s been fake re-fridged, and she’s actually been blasted into an AU, and we’ll see her again), Dean regresses. He goes back into uber-controlling mode, over-responsible mode, as a way of dealing with the fact his world has fallen apart again. Psychically (as many of you clever people have already pointed out) he’s been taken back to the trauma his 4 year old self experienced when Mary died the first time. 

So, Dean puts on his control-mask, the one he learned from his Dad, and (just like John did) he focusses on dealing with the yellow-eyed “monster” who killed Mary, to contain the pain. He refuses to listen to Sam or Cas. He tells them to get on board with his (suicidal again) plan or get lost. HE is the one who instigates locking Jack (remember, also a representation of his child-self) in the Ma’lak box:

And he is the one who won’t listen to his loved ones,  but jumps all over and obeys without question, the Word of God (the Law of the Father) that the only way is to shoot Jack with the new mystical gun (Colt Mark II) when Chuck shows up with it. 

 Displaced-in-time John said, in 14x13 Lebanon (having been filled in by his sons):

JOHN: “I-I went out takin’ out Yellow Eyes. I mean, that was the point, right? I mean, get the thing that killed mom.”      

Chuck offers Dean the same choice (and, again, I think it’s a test).

Remember, as well as being the Revenge GunTM, the Hammurabi is also know as “The Equaliser”, so whatever happens to the person who is shot, also happens to the shooter. A perfect, perfect metaphor for the way in which John’s revenge quest rebounded on his sons (compounding the emotional trauma of losing their Mom). 

If Dean’ follows in his father’s footsteps and shoots the yellow-eyed “demon” who killed Mary, his own adopted son Jack (who, did I mention, represents his child-self) he will die - literally, according to the “law” of Chuck’s mystical gun, but also symbolically.

Because symbolically, that choice represents the fact that Dean has been crushing the life out of himself, for a long time, thanks to the internalised Ghost of John Winchester in his head (demanding that he be a substitute-parent to Sammy, that he stay “on mission”, that he perform a certain kind of masculinity, that he is responsible for everything and everyone, that he constantly fails [because he is trying to live up to an impossible standard]).

And at the last, Dean passes the test. He says, “No,” to the ultimate Father FigureTM (God) who is shouting at him to pick up the gun and pull the trigger.

He says “No” even when Chuck promises to bring Mary back from the “dead”. 

He does not repeat the cycle of his father’s revenge quest. He lowers the weapon of RevengeTM and of Re-bounding Suffering/ DeathTM.

He (finally) has compassion for Jack and thus (hopefully, hopefully) for his own child-self mirror. 

On symbolic Mount Moriah, Dean confronts his Shadow-self, the part of him that is “just like” his father, the part that keeps controlling or pushing away his key relationships (with Sam and Cas and now Jack) the part that finds safety in orders, and in a black-and-white view of the world where monsters are monsters, and in which revenge is the answer.

Confronting the Shadow, as I wrote before 14x20 aired, can release us from “scapegoating”:

The Scapegoat: Speculative Musings on S14′s End (Moriah) (Linked to the Season’s Jungian Themes - Scapegoating and the Unacknowledged Shadow)  

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184068368304/the-scapegoat-speculative-musings-on-s14s-end

So, Dean says, “No” to God, the ultimate father-figure, and in doing so he is released from his Shadow-possession by the father-imago in his unconscious

DEAN: “No, my Mom was my hero, and I miss her, and I will miss her every second of my life, but she would not want this.” 

As a counter-point, he embraces the feminine (his internal anima, according to Jung). He evolves.

And so, the mirror is broken through between the self and the Shadow-self, the ego and the id. AU!Michael/  the Ghost of John Winchester/ the Voice of God are out of Dean Winchester’s head. They can no longer control him: he has faced them all. 

Now,  Dean has to learn to be himself, a whole new final chapter in the journey.

“The shadow, when it is realized, is the source of renewal ...  no progress or growth is possible until the shadow is adequately confronted and confronting means more than merely knowing about it. It is not until we have truly been shocked into seeing ourselves as we really are, instead of as we wish or hopefully assume we are, that we can take the first step toward individual reality” (Connie Zweig, Meeting the Shadow, 1990).

And, if you’ve been following the thread in the links to my other meta on Dean’s Shadow here, on how John’s repression in Dean’s mind was depicted (in subtext in S14) as, in part, Dean’s repression of his queerness (the Ma’lak box and the fridge-locker in Rocky’s mind-bar being symbols of the closet) then this culminating confrontation with the repressive image of The FatherTM in the form of God himself, as symbolic of Dean’s own controlling, self-repressing, self-closeting, Shadow-self, does seem to clear the way for... interesting developments (dramatic irony claxon - Dean still doesn’t know God is, in fact, himself bisexual). 

However, as always, I caution that the overtly homoerotic denoument is more than likely to remain closeted at the last, in favour of the “familial”.