#sam doesnt lose everyone he cares about

[fcknstar]

,, the innocence is gone "

pairings : gf!ethanlandry x fem!reader ( vesper )

summary : what happens when history tends to repeat himself?

content warnings : violence, betrayal, obsession.

**lowercase intended**

" ghostface would be attractive if he didnt kill.. " you voiced out, in your own world when the whole group turned to face you in shock. 

" uhm.. i think thats a bit far fetch dont you think? " mindy cringed. 

how can the thought of someone with a mask pull your heartstrings, or even turn you on.

" i mean, in my opinion he could be pretty hot. " you shrugged. 

the group wasnt new on your interests in slashers, criminals. you figured that it was always the attractive ones who killed. they just found it weird considering you, mindy, the carpenter sisters and chad nearly got killed by one. 

" coping mechanisms. " quinn laughed the tension off, with the rest awkwardly nodding. 

★ 

ever since ethan joined the group, you have been nothing but attached. how did a good looking guy - a snack - be so lonely. you thought he had someone in his mind, the one you knew you couldnt occupy. but he did. you. but he soon swallowed the feeling down to focus on his mission. he knew he had to kill you, so why did your existence crumble him. making him question about his true intentions. 

" i had econ! " he defended himself as mindy analyzed ethan. 

you saw ethan leaving the apartment so you did trust him. 

" mindy, he did leave the apartment, remember? " you whispered, eyes closed as you listened to the rustling sounds around you. 

" see? " 

" vesper, you are next in my list- " 

" what? just because i defended him doesnt make me the killer. and you know for a fact i would never considering the fucking shit weve been through! " you couldnt believe your ears, your own best friend not trusting you. 

" mindy, i think you are over- analysing everything right now. " sam sighed. she trusted you, even if she knew she couldn't trust anyone. but youve been there for her and tara since day one. 

" fine, but ethan is still on the top of my list. " ethan bringing his hands up in defeat. giving him a lopsided smile, he returned a sad smile back.

everyone were starting to turn their backs on their own people, those that had to relive such traumatic moments. 

★ 

" hello? " 

" hey, ves! i was wondering if you could head down to the library? i need your help. " your friends voice begging for a yes to come out from you. instead a -

" no, im sorry. im with ethan right now, catching up on some shit i dont understand. ill try to come down as soon as possible though! " ethans eyes darting to your face. he loved the way you said his name. how sweet and soft youd say it, as if he was a fragile doll you had to take care off. 

" oh man, alright sure! just text me - update me yea! bye! " a sigh was heard from the other side. 

" bye love~ " you giggled. you were often flirtatious with your closest friends. ethan - not knowing the gender of the caller, narrowed his eyes. 

" so sorry about that- " 

" who was that? " ethan couldnt help but ask. he just had to know. if you couldnt be his, you shouldn't be anyones. 

" lana, she needed help with something. i dont know. " ethan nodded. 

★ 

ethan has yet to leave your side since the van. he needed to be with you as long as he could before he killed you, as him or as ghostface. so when gale brought you and the others down to the shrine, you realized ethans hand around your wrist. 

looking up at him, him smiled. 

" cant let you leave my sight knowing youd go crazy over this stuff. might lose you on the way. " you chuckled. 

looking over the items, you couldn't help but wonder how did someone collect items that was about six years ago - or even more. walking up on stage, you grazed every piece of black robe that could be filled with blood. this was a new feeling and you liked it. 

" remember how you said that ghostface was attractive, i get how someone might like him. " ethan blurted out. 

" haha very funny eth. " rolling your eyes, knowing that he's just trying to annoy you. 

" i mean look at amber freeman. she was hot. quite literally. "

you stopped at amber freemans robe, such events replaying. 

" welcome to act three. " you stumbled backwards watching as she aimed the gun at you.

" its sad that that pretty face will be gone to waste. " amber made a pouty face. you liked amber, maybe more than just a friend. of course you found her attractive, even with her reveal. but you couldnt.

it felt as if someone took your heart out, squeezed it and pushed it back in. you had to digest so many information and your dumb brain couldnt handle it. you didnt want it to happen again, knowing you couldnt take another heart break.

" ves? " ethan placed an arm on your shoulder. 

" sorry? " 

" you alright? " you nodded, afraid that your voice might crack. 

you coped up with everything by searching on slashers, even learning their tactics. it was interesting to say the least. you soon became obsessed with one you didnt even acknowledge. you should have known.

★

sam and tara pulled you behind them as ghostface removed his mask, revealing ethan. 

his gloomy face was replaced with a menacing smile. you tuned everything out, realizing that everything this happening again. fuck, you thought. ethan was a shy dorky guy, and now standing in front of you is a killer that you liked. oddly enough, you didn't feel betrayed or even hurt. he looked hot, with his hair sticking to his forehead and his breathing heavy. thoughts of blood on his face couldnt help but flood your mind. you just didnt want to die. not yet. 

you didn't even realize when ethans rounding the corner, near the glass display you and sam were standing at. 

you being the closest one, he pulled you, placing the knife against your neck. 

" fuck, eth- " your voice died down in your throat when you felt him press the knife further into your neck. 

" no- " sam and tara wanted to run towards you when quinn stopped them. 

" no, no you little fuckers, you aren't going anywhere. " before walking towards them, ethan walked with you, following quinns steps. your back against his front, you felt his heart thumping hard. probably due to adrenaline. you were going to die. tonight. in the hands of ethan. 

quinn lunged forwards before tara smacked quinn with a brick, knocking her out. 

that was when bailey aimed the gun towards the sisters. 

" you brought a brick to a gun fight.. quite sad isnt it. that you have to die this way. "

" sam- " out of instinct, you jolted forward, forgetting the knife against your neck. you had cut your neck slightly, as you pushed yourself further behind against ethan. 

" you sweet dumb thing. too stupid to not realize that you may cut yourself. " ethan pouted before pulling you away from the others. 

sam and tara saw ethan pushing you forward with the knife against your back. shit, they thought. 

before you could even ask him where he was bringing you, he stabbed you in the arm. 

" ive always wanted to stick something in you, ves! " he smiled victoriously.

" fuck you, eth! " you breathed.

" is that an offer? " shaking his head, he continued, "since i like you, ill spare you. " 

he has made up his mind.

a.n : have been vv obsessed lately, requests coming soon <3

[kidge-planet]

survivor

Pidge angst!!

We know that pidge have been through bullying and that her family was the only thing she had… But then, Sam and Matt disapeared…What if she hadn’t been strong enough?

This is an angst fic, the subjects are su**de, depre$$ion and bullying (quick mention of bullying). If one of these subjects trigger you, pass your way!!!!!!!!!!!

’’’’python

def open_file(private):

try:

with open(private_txt, ‘r’) as file:

content=private_txt.read()

print(content)

except FileNotFoundError:

print( ‘‘the file wasn’t found’’)

[...]

I don’t really know how to start… Well, if you read this, it means that im dead.

Sounds cliché and all, but it’s true, and im sorry.

I always give up at some point and I guess that I just reached my breaking point.

Times has been hard, lately. I mean, It has always been. But since dad and Matt left, nothing makes sense anymore. Their death seem so strange and I know you won’t listen to me, but I can tell that there is something that the Garrison doesnt tell us… I did everything I could to find it out but every thing I found were small pieces… The rest is missing and I did everything I could to figure it out.

All that to say, two of the only things that were keeping me alive left, you are now all that I have, mom ( and Bae’).

I tried to be strong but you know how weak I am. I can’t.

You know, im tired.

Im tired to be the weird one,

Im tired that other people take advantage of me all the time, I hate it.

Im tired to feel scared of mans,

Im tired of never standing for myself because im not brave enough.

Im tired of being scared,

Im tired to lose everyone I care about.

Im tired of my name,

Im tired of people calling me.

Im tired of myself,

tired of my body,

Im tired.

Im sick because of all that. It is to me the right reason to stop.

I swear, I tried so hard to change, I tried to be normal. But I came to the conclusion that you can’t change what you are. I will always be all that I hate, all that makes me tired, all that makes me sick.

Im probably not important to that world, less than I thought. You know, I really thought that I would do something amazing. But I guess that dad made me believe this. And he’s not here now.

I want to write every words to maybe live somehow, but meh, too lazy.

THIS is my last good bye to this freaking discusting world (That I hope will change).

I love you mom. You’ve always been there for me. All my tiny life.

Thank you for being a good person in this fucking world. Like, fuck everything and everyone, except you.

I hate it so much.

I HATE goodbyes.

But I guess it is for the best.

Im sorry.

I LOVE YOU,

-Katie

After reading this, Hunk turnes towards Lance and Keith that were behind him, reading that same farewell letter. Initially, Both Hunk and Lance wanted to have a revange on Pidge after she pranked them…

But they simply wanted to find an ambarassing picture of her… Not that horrifying paragraph...

They swore to never tell Pidge about that and gave up on trying to prank her…

sometimes, we don’t know a lot about our friends pasts… And sometimes, it better stay unknown.

A/N: this is my very late halloween fic! When I wrote it, I felt like it was a bit cringe but whatever... I still hope that you "enjoyed" reading it, even tho it is a litteral sui**de note----- Be careful about the ones you love, help people that are living a tough moment and of course, take great care of yourself! Never be scared to ask for help! Sui**de is never the solution and that fic does not encourage it!

[eamonorus-blog]

The meaning behind Ellies final words.

The Last of us 2 portrays how it wants us to interpret Ellie's final words at the end of the first game. It wants us to believe that she believed Joel but had doubts.

But I have a bunch of issues with this. Lets go through them.

Firstly, this is all under the assumption that her NUMBER ONE priority is to save the world. That that is how she feels, and that is what she would have acted on. Since that is why she is upset with Joel, that he took that choice away from her.

However, throughout the first game that isn't how she acts. First, in tlou both her and Joel aren't at all assuming that this will end in her death, Joel assumes it will just be taking blood, or something like that. So, it's not like Ellies willingness to go along with the quest is some kind of death wish inherently.

Secondly, there are multiple times, but two in particular, at which Ellie puts herself in danger, and thereby puts the cure at risk. And both times it is to be with/save Joel.

The first time is leaving Sam and Henry, who were in a position to escape, to help Joel, who was in danger of being shot at imminently.

The second is when she ran away after realising that Joel wanted to give the job of taking her to the Fireflies to Tommy.

People forget this, but Joel is 100% right when he berates her for this and calls her stupid. Sure, he is doing it because he cares about her as a surrogate daughter, not about the cure, but still. The fact is that she put herself in danger for no reason. And not even to help Joel, just so he wouldn't leave her. Joel protests that Tommy knows the area better, and she blows this off.

Why? Surely this is true? Is she mad because she sincerely believes that Tommy would do a worse job at keeping her safe? I don't interpret the scene that way at all. The way I see it, she is blowing this off as an excuse because she knows the idea that Tommy would be better for the job isn't the real reason that Joel wants to get rid of her. It's because he is afraid of losing Sarah again. And she wants him to overcome that fear so that they can stay together, and she is willing to risk her life (the cure for all mankind) to get that.

So her whole motive her in what she has done is to make sure Joel doesnt abandon her. NOT to stay alive for the cure, and NOT because she thinks Tommy isnt capable of getting her there.

This is also tied up in the way that Ellie is always the one to push for Joel to open up throughout the whole story. She pushes him to talk about Tess, he shuts that down, she pushes him to talk about Henry and Sam, and he shuts her down. She pushes him to talk about Sarah, he shuts that down too.

SHE, NOT JOEL, is the one who continually pushes for their relationship to grow, and who makes decisions that puts her in danger to keep them together. Remember, ostensibly the whole reason for this in the first place was to get her to the Fireflies, and that is something that Joel is happy to complete while remaining emotionally detached and closed off.

When, right at the very end, Joel lies to her, why is he doing that?

I think we all know why, its because he knows she would feel guilty and want to go back if she knew the truth, she would want to make the sacrifices of all the people who got infected and had no choice but die worth it.

I don't think there is much room for interpretation that that is why Joel is doing it. I think it's safe to say that it isn't just because he is afraid that she would hate him for killing the Fireflies. It's because he is afraid that she wouldn't be able to live with knowing that she wasn't able to complete her mission when it was possible for her to do it.

Y'know, everyone goes on about Joel being retconned to be stupider in tlou2 to make his death pausible. But in a more subtle way, I think that Ellie was retconned to be stupider too.

The way she turns away from him in the car, the way that she looks down briefly before saying "ok" to me it all speaks to the fact that she KNOWS that he is lying.

She is way too smart to buy his story, why would she be in surgical clothes if what he said was true? She has instantly seen through his deflections and half truths in the past.

Remember the end of the Left Behind DLC?

Riley says that they can either end it quickly or fight for every moment they have left together. And that is what she does at the end, as I read it.

Here is how I see it. Joel is lying so that Ellie doesn't have to feel the guilt of surviving, and she sees through it. However, the choice is made now, and it can't be taken back. And she now has a choice too. To reject what he did and go back to try and die, or to accept what he did so she can continue to "endure and survive".

And survival is indeed one of the main themes of the game. What "The last of us" will continue to do in order to stay alive.

Joel lied to keep her alive, and she accepted the lie in order to stay with him. Not only does this make sense, but it's just a better story imo.

It makes her a stronger character. Compelling characters are those who make active choices, and knowing that he is lying but accepting the lie anyway is an active choice, thinking that he is telling the truth and believing him despite doubts is less active to me.

It is also more consistent, since as I said, throughout the game she jeopardises the cure, her life, in order to save Joel/continue to be with him. If the way that tlou2 interprets the scene is correct, she is stupid for not realising Joel was lying, she is going against her ACTIONS throughout the first game, not her words. (since yes, I do acknowledge that she insists she wants to see this mission through to the end after the Giraffe scene) Instead of her implicitly sharing the burden of what Joel did, by accepting an obvious lie, instead she becomes a victim of Joel's lies. It makes her a more passive character, and a less compelling one. In fact, I think that the final scene of tlou is at its most compelling if it is seen as a kind of test by Ellie right from the start, instead of a genuine attempt to discover the truth. After all, she explains about how all the people who have died from infection haunt her, and how she feels like she doesnt deserve to live, like her immunity is unearned. Why would she be talking like this if she believed Joel? She is talking as if going back and finishing the job is still an option, which according to Joels lie isn't an option, since dozens of immune people haven't gotten the Fireflies anywhere. Her challenging him like this only makes sense if she already knows what he has said isn't true. Like with so much of the excellent dialogue in tlou though, she doesn't come out and directly say this. She simply implies it and then asks him to swear he is telling the truth. The way I read this, is that she knows he isn't telling the truth, and he knows that she knows, and she knows that he knows that she knows. So, what is really being asked here, is if he is going to insist on the lie and refuse to allow her to go back and sacrifice herself. And by saying it's true, he is saying that he is insisting. And she accepts this. She wouldn't feel able to stay alive just for herself, but she can do so for him. I could go more into how I feel like the tlou2 interpretation of what that final "ok" meant doesn't work, but that's enough for now.

[obwjam]

Tiny getting drunk with Roy, i just imagine tiny just starts to insult him with the most childish names

tiny: sometimes *hiccup* you're sucha poopy grumpy fart face AND you're scary liek *hiccup* pick a struggle jeez

Roy: and you're a tiny little shit.

Tiny (incredibly offended): HEY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT

LMAOOOOOO THIS IS SO REAL. the tiny dancing around a table at sam’s restaurant (only the team is there of course) slurring the roy kent chant but they keep messing up the lines. HE’S HERE… He-HE’S UH, HE’S… AN UGLY TWAT, AND AND HE’S EVERY FUCKING WHERE BE-BECAUSE HE’S A BIG HAIRY FUCK. ROY KEEEEENT and roy is literally sitting there stone faced while everyone else is absolutely losing their minds. jamie takes notes of insults to use for later, and he instigates the tiny to come up with more.

also the tiny just being a drunken MENACE, they wander around and try to climb things and almost fall off tables and roy has to be REALLY protective and it’s almost embarrassing for him

tiny: aww. roy-o. you-you CARE about me!

roy: no. no the fuck i don’t

tiny: you caaaare, you care you care you care—

roy: puts his hand over them so he doesnt have to listen. it doesnt work

[aleksanderthemesschild]

more md brainrot that has accumilated

Md au has me in a chokehold. Specifically mdsapnap right now. When sapnap and george made the deal to betray dream to become heroes, they were naive. They were young. Sapnap just turned 16, george was barely 19. They werent thinking straight. Imagine, someone told you that you could do the think you have always dreamed off, always wanted to do. The thing you are so passionate about and would love to do more than anything else. With just a tiny little sacrifice: only two of you can do it, the third has to suffer the consequences of justice that came form you being vigilantes. And afterwards, he could join you! Be with you! So they agreed. They were naive, barely old enough to exist properly. They knew dream would understand, that he would forgive them. So they walked away, even tho dream was yelling at them to stop, to not take him away, to keep him, to not abandon him like everyone else has already, they walked away. But guilt walked close by. It was when they fought a boy, young vigilante, who was yelling at them about the privilege they have, one he could never afford, he could not afford to get this high in social status like they were born in. That made them feel guilty, cause they basically bought their way in. Bought their way in with the sacrifice of losing a friend. Their friend. They shoudlnt be heroes when they didnt actually earn their way up. When they went towards the headmaster, wanting to tell him what happened, knowing hed understand and punish them fairly, but hed understand that they were naive and young and not thinking further, they got stopped by the warden(not sam), the guy who got them in. They told him about their plan, and quickly got knocked out. The headmaster couldnt know that the warden is doing shady things, and if it means that he has to punish the boys and condition them with fear to stay quiet, than so it be. He doesnt care. Over the next 4 years, the last 4 years of dreams punishment, hed force the two to behave in his will, cause he took them in, he can take them out. Everytime they even got close to the headmaster hed punish them for getting to close. The scars on their back never being visible to anyone, and if they were, they'd be played of as fight scars, even if the electric feeling seemingly never left. It wasnt till they went to pandoras, civil not heros, to pick up clay, to finally pick up their friend and apologized to him, tell him that he can absolutely just beat them up if he wants to, cause they deserve that, that they finally decided to take measures. Slow and steady measures, so that the warden woudlnt see nor know. Cause when they came their, with the certificate saying they can pick him up and that hes there, the front desk tell them theres never been a Clay Perce there. Not 5 years ago not now. When they demand clarification they just get thrown out of the prison, saying they're disturbing the peace of the prisoners. That's when they started the plan to show what is actually going on. To admit their sins to the public, to admit that theyve not worked for their fame the way they shouldve and that in their teen naivety, they thought they could be something greater. They knew people would be disappointed, but they didnt really care, cause it's for their peace. By talking with other heroes in civil, making plans with their parents, collecting data and pictures of what happened, and finally putting everything together, they posted the files online for everyone to see. And a few hours later, they raided pandoras. It was a plan that took a year, trying to get the warden to be as least suspicious as possible. Even tho that didnt work a few times and george and sapnap still ended up with punishment a few times. While ofcourse the main mission was to save everyone, sapnap and george where doing one thing onyl: they are searching for Clay. So does everyone else. When sapnap woke up in the ambulance he was put into when he passed out from his fight with mantis, his first instinct was to look whether they found clay or not. Cause hes been knocked out for a bit, they surely must've found him. He pulls out the tube out of his mouth and rips out the ivs, concentrating more on finding hsif friend than on whatever injuries are buried inside him right now. He walks out of the ambulance, immediately hearing his father complain, but he just looks at george holding a file, a prison file. A name on it. Clay Perce. They found his file. They found him.

Sapnap looked at george with hope in his eyes, feeling his heart become so much lighter as he sees his file. "You found him!" He yells excited, jumping out of the ambulance, feeling the blood drip down his arms but not really caring. George's face scrunches up, bitterness obviously showing. Sapnap rarely saw george be sad, but the sparkle in his eye was gone and they spoke a story of tragedy. "You... you found him right?" Sapnap staggered a few steps forward, shaky on his feet, still feeling bad from the fight that took him out quite a bit. George swallowed hard, before opening the file and showing Sapnap the page. His world stopped. On the page it said in big red letters "EXPERIMENT FAILED: SUBJECT DEAD" there were text over text on the page documenting the experiment they did on dream. In general, his file looked big, like there were multiple exams and experiments. That's the last page tho. It has two small fotos attached to it. One of dream laying on the floor, seemingly having fallen of the table. Blood was dripping out his nose and mouth and eyes, his eyes who were void of any life. The other picture is a close up of dreams face, the abuse he has lived to till his death showing obviously. His death. He is dead. Dream is dead. Sapnap knew people were talking to him, but he coudlnt hear, ringing was filling his ears. He felt two strong arms hug him from behind, knowing it was his father. All hell broke lose. Sapnap started crying yelling about how its unjust, how it isnt true, how this is all just a joke they are playing on him that really isnt funny. He sees george crying aswell, quietly tho, unlike sapnap. "HES DEAD-" "shh buddy, calm down-" HE IS GONE" "everything will be fine" "ITS MY FAULT-" "sapnap-" "HE IS DEAD AND ITS MY FAHLT" "spanap no please calm down-" ITS MY FAULT" "No its not cmon you couldntve known bud" "HE DIED BECAUSE OF ME-" "shh buddy, shhhh" despite bads frantic tried to calm down his son, it was working, the boy was just cying louder, yelling at everyone about how unfair it is. He cried himself tired at some point, vocal cords bruised, still whispering about how unfair it is to bad. His face is sticky and wet with tears, his body so close to just shuting down completely. And what was destroying him the most was that george was seemingly not affected by it. His tears stopped quickly, his monotone face is back and he just closed the file, working again on hacking the data bank so they could get all the insights into pandoras. Their friends death seemed to be nothing for him and it broke spanap even more

(all are from mine and echos chat btw, so nothing big)

[impala-in-gotham]

This Destiel/finale fix-it ficlet I wrote...

This is my first attempt at writing fic so be gentle haha but I had a dream close to this and kinda tweaked it from there but it’s basically a finale fix-it in which I’ve decided Dean’s still alive. He lost consciousness a few sentences into his speech and imagined the rest, which is what we saw. There’s just too much about “heaven” that has been used before as a façade. So here goes…

“Okay. P-Please. I'm fading pretty quick, so...there's a few things that I-...” before he can even start the next words Dean’s head lolls to the side and his eyes fall closed.

Sam feels like everything is moving in slow motion as the nightmare of losing his brother plays out in front of his eyes.

“Dean??”

Sam holds Dean in place the best he can and his dread drains away slightly as he hears Dean’s shallow breaths despite his sudden loss of consciousness.

Sam's thoughts start racing, time-induced panic ticking away. Nothing they haven’t dealt with before but this isn’t Chuck’s tale of heroes anymore. It’s just them now.

"Shit, shit, shit...the nearest hospital is still too far...I can't...there's too many bodies to even try to explain...I can't even let Dean go to hide them...shit. Shit...Jack!"

"Hang on, Dean. Just hang on as long as you can. I'll fix this."

Sam prays loudly into the empty barn, "Jack?? Jack, I know you can see this, I hope you can do something, please. It can't end like this. It wasn't supposed to end like this. Not after everything we've been through, everything Dean's survived, he doesn't deserve this. You know he doesn't. Please, Jack. He's not gone yet, he can still be saved. I'm not asking for resurrection here, just...just heal him, please, he deserves to be saved."

As if on cue, the barn roof starts to rattle, a few bulbs burst overhead and Cas walks through the barn doors, rushing to their side while Sam's eyes widen in shock.

"Cas?!? but...", Sam stammers out with only a little bit of shock and a lot more relief.

Cas darts his eyes straight at him and it feels like he's looking straight at his soul.

"Sam, I need you to hold him steady, I'll start healing, but I need you to slowly pull him forward as I heal, alright?... Sam?!...Ok?!"

"Yeah...Yes...Ok, I'm ready.", Sam’s words stumble out as he refocuses onto Dean's weight in his arms.

The familiar golden glow pours from Cas steadier than it did the last time Sam watched him heal Dean's hand. So easily that Sam is holding all of Dean's weight mere seconds later. Cas helps him lay Dean down. Dean's breathing has evened out, but his face is still clammy and pale.

Cas holds Dean's head in his lap for a few moments, as he pulls off his trench coat and folds it up as a makeshift pillow, easing his head onto it. The care and intimacy of the moment, it feels like Sam needs to look away, but then Cas stands and looks up at the relief and tears on Sam's face.

"He'll be alright, Sam. He lost a fair amount of blood so he just nee-".

Sam practically slams his entire body into Cas as he crushes him into a hug, "Cas, I can't believe you're here. Of course, you're here. You saved him. You always save him. Thank you, Cas. I didn't know what to do. Jack said he'd be hands-off but it's Dean."

"Of course. Jack sent me as soon as he heard you. We’re lucky we made it in time.", Cas looks around at the lifeless bodies and their lost heads strewn about, "I'll help you clean this up but first, I'll get those boys home."

As Sam piles up the bodies a familiar but long since heard sound of wings flutter near Dean and Cas is back. He's looking down at Dean with such adoration but with his matter-of-fact tone states, "They're back with their mother, who was thankful to you both...and to have her tongue healed back. I took the liberty of altering their memories. They shouldn't have to live with that trauma." His eyes still lost to watching Dean’s chest rise and fall.

"You got your wings back," Sam says without realizing he thought it aloud.

Cas smiles coyly and looks back at Sam, visibly spreading them out, while Sam watches in awe as their shadows encompass the barn behind him. "Along with a few other powers I've missed now that Jack has restored heaven to what it should be."

Sam sighs, "Yeah, about that..."

While cleaning up the barn, Sam and Cas catch each other up on what happened since they last saw each other. Sam talks about defeating Chuck, Jack bringing everyone back, and how mundane the past months of freedom have been. Cas tells Sam how Jack rescued him from the Empty as well as other angels like Michael (with Adam), Gabriel, Hannah, Samandriel, and Balthazar to name a few.

Sam throws his lighter into the pile of vamps and looks over at Cas, "It's great to have you back, Cas. Dean didn't...well more like couldn't I guess. He couldn't talk about you much after... all he told us was you made a deal and you summoned the Empty to save him from Billie...but after that, he could barely say your name. Didn't stop him from asking Chuck to bring you back", he says with a small smirk, then presses his lips together and sighs, "but it was like a part of him had shut down or just broke. He wouldn't tell me and if you don't want to, I won't push it but you're my best friend, Cas and I...I still don’t know...Can you tell me what happened?"

Cas looks into Sam's puppy dog eyes, now glistening either from the fire or the topic, and then over at Dean still peacefully asleep a few feet away. He reaches out his grace and maybe Dean's soul recognizes it because he is sleeping soundly as if he hasn't in months. Cas guesses that's probably true. Contemplating how much of the story is his to tell and how much Dean would allow him to say since Sam and Cas both know it's not that he won't, he can't.

Cas reaches out and squeezes Sam's shoulder. "I'm sorry for any pain I caused you, I didn't have a choice. I knew it was the only way to beat Chuck. That only you and Dean could find a way. I made the deal to save Jack when he was dying, the Shadow agreed to take me instead but not until I had experienced true happiness. With Chuck in charge, any happiness seemed impossible, but I thought proving to Dean that he is worth saving, that all he's ever done was driven by love, not anger, prove to him why I love him." His voice betrays him by cracking on the last words. Still new to his mouth and his ears.

Cas searches Sam's face for any sort of shock or surprise but finds none. Instead, there’s a kind understanding that only Sam would have.

Sam sighs and says, "That's why." he continues as Cas' head tilts, "When we faced Chuck, he called Dean the ultimate killer but Dean just walked past him, no anger or malice, and just said 'that's not who I am'. It was because of you. He must have finally started to see himself the way you see him. How we all see him."

Cas brightens at that, looking back over at Dean, "Then it worked. The only thing I ever wanted was for Dean to love himself. I didn't ever think I'd be enough. That how I feel about him was enough after everything...after every time I tried to prove it. It was never enough before."

Sam smiles warmly, "You were enough, Cas. I've been trying almost our whole lives to get Dean to believe he wasn't a killer, that his life was worth more. I think we all tried, but you got through to him. He tried so hard after you...he tried but I could tell he was forcing it. Tonight, before you got here, it sounded like he'd given up. It sounded like the last time we lost you.” Sam shakes his head, trying to push away the image of Dean plunging a syringe into his heart, “Cas…every time we lost you it's been hard. For me too, but for Dean... it's different, each time it was different. He’d close himself off. He’d lose all faith. He’d give up. He’d want to die. I think...I think that he loves you more than he lets on. He's better when you're back. He's only happy when you're back."

Cas looks back over at Sam, a trace of a smile, "I know. I always felt it, just... well", he huffs, "We both know he's not one for words. But I know how he feels. I think his fear was more so in having something to lose. We’ve lost each other too many times."

The fire is dying down with the bodies not quite recognizable. Sam collects their gear into Baby's trunk. Cas walks out of the barn carrying Dean as if he's as light as a feather. Sam offers to drive Baby back to the bunker if Cas wants to fly Dean back instead. Cas nods and another flutter of wings echoes in the space left behind. Sam climbs into Baby, places his hands tightly on the wheel, closes his eyes, and prays to Jack.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, Dean wakes up. He slowly realizes he's back in the bunker, he's in his room, there's no pain in his back, and his hand is being held. He looks over to meet gleaming blue eyes he thought he’d never see again and can barely get anything out. “Cas... but how... you...?” and just pulls him into an awkwardly angled hug but holds on so tightly. It's just them. He doesn't have a time limit.

Dean feels as Cas inhales to explain but Dean cuts him off with “It doesn’t matter how. Is this real? Are you really back? For good."

Cas smiles as if his true happiness reaches a new level and simply says, “Hello, Dean." tightening his embrace, "Yes, Jack brought me back-- new and improved”.

Dean holds him and breathes in that familiar ozone smell, feels the pulse of grace within him stronger than before, something only he seems to be able to feel. "I thought I lost you forever. I thought you...wait," he pulls back to look at Cas again, "Didn't I die? I was in heaven, but it felt...wrong, you were there but you didn't come to see me, Bobby was there but he didn't even hug me after... what? 8 years?! No one else showed up. I just drove to a bridge…Tell me you didn't make a deal or -" his face freezes and his entire body goes tense, "Where's Sam?"

"No, you didn't die. Sam prayed to Jack and I came straight to you. You're healed but the blood loss left you pretty lethargic; though, I think that was your own exhaustion. Sam’s fine, he took the Impala. Should be here soon. You’re safe, it was just a dream. Those boys are back with their mother. I healed her. Altered their memories. Everyone's safe now. Sam told me everything that happened since...I...," a brief sadness flashes in his eyes before he brightens and smiles at Dean, "I knew you would save the world."

“I’ve been trying to find a way into the Empty for months, Cas. I…I read everything I could find but there was barely anything. I tried to use your blood from the sigil to summon you like what Nick tried to do but I guess I didn’t get the ingredients right or I don’t know…nothing worked. Jack never answered any of my prayers but I kept asking him to bring you back. I tried--…”

“Dean.” The tone over that one syllable calmed Dean the same way only Cas has always managed to be able to do.

Cas continued, “I’m back. Jack only recently was able to get me back but he heard your prayers. It took a lot of time and bargaining to get me and as many angels as we could save back out. The Shadow’s asleep again. I’m back and I’m not going anywhere. This is my home. I’m home.”

Dean sits processing this. Shaking off the fake heaven and submerging himself in Cas being alive and here. Now. In his grasp. He doesn't know how he gets to have a second...or seventh? chance but all that matters is everyone he loves, everyone he cares about is safe.

Dean meets Cas’s eyes and stares into the bright, deep blue he's fallen in love with so many times, eyes that have seen every part of who he is, good and bad, and says, “I love you too, Cas.”

Cas smiles very much like he did before the Empty was summoned but without tears because the one thing he wants is right in front of him. Looking at him like he is the most important being in every possible alternate universe. Still so beautiful.

Dean's eyes drift to Cas's lips as they have many times before, asking the same question Cas has yet to answer. Cas places a hand behind the base of Dean's neck, his fingers warm and strong as they pull Dean closer. Finally, their lips come together and it feels like no other kiss either of them has ever had. It feels like swirling grace entangling into his soul; it feels like being healed. It feels like every jagged piece of each other is clicking into place, completing and filling what was empty and longing before. It feels like being saved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam parks in the garage and leaves everything as-is to deal with later. He heads down the hallway to check on Dean when suddenly the overhead lights flicker but before he can run for iron or salt, the bulbs burst. First the one over Dean's door, then a few more heading his direction, then nothing. Sam relaxes and sighs deeply, “Finally!”

[twillightteaparty]

Twisted Wonderland Characters with an Asexual S/o! Part 6!

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported and followed this specific series of headcanons. I hope you enjoyed them all <3 This will be the final part in this series as I think I've covered the majority of the cast of characters that I'm willing to cover.

---

Crewel

I think Crewel has like two or three requirements when it comes to dating people: Do you like his dogs, do his dogs like you, and can you cook (that way the two of you can take turns making dinner)

everything else isn’t that important to him. As In he is willing to talk about boundaries and make compromises on things. He's super understanding that way and will always respect boundries.

Man may love fashion weather it is old, new or historical. But that doesnt mean he holds traditional values. He would like to idealy always be moving towards a better and helpful future. he doesn't need the 'american dream' family. he just needs to be happy with his S/O.

He wants to be able to enjoy his time with his S/O and love them Unconditionally. he is totally comfortable with his family looking like him, S/O and their dogs at the end of the day. that would be more than enough for him.

He just wants to be happy, he wants his S/O to be happy so he wouldn’t force them to do anything they didn’t want to. Once again he is always respectful of boundries.

Though I imagine he goes out of his way to make his S/O feel special. anything from bringing them home flowers or their favorite drink to surprising them with their favorite dinner he took the time to learn how to cook.

Crowly

Todays unneeded and unpopular queer headcanon is that Crowley is a sex-repulsed Asexual. I say as a sex-repulsed Asexual myself. I refuse to explain any futher than that.

Even if he wasn’t, he would establish and respect boundaries from the start of any relationship he has. He wants to know that his quirky forms of affection wont get lots in translation.

Probably has many 'bird' like tendancies, definately gives them lots of shiny rocks or gemstones. maybe a specially designed pocket watch just for them. Gets you your favorite pen set whenever you lose your favorite pen or as a surprise.

If he isn’t sure if something is alright to do he'll always asks his S/O to make sure it's alright for him to do so. I imagine in private he is a very cuddly indvidual. if he could get away with cuddling and melting out of reality every night i'm sure he would.

Although unconventional and a little well- you know himself- I would like to imagine he’s a very loving and caring husband. He'd go above and beyond to make sure His spouse was happy and healthy.

While he may not be winning any awards he is trying his best at the very least and you can always expect thoughtful gifts. Things that remind him of you.

Sam

The most understanding out of all the staff, asks what is and isn’t okay to do. because heaven forbid he is ever the reason you're uncomfortable. he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.

Just wants to do anything to see his S/O smile, and he's willing to go above and beyond to see them happy. so he takes time to learn what they like and dislike, what their comfortable and what they hate more than death.

More than willing to take them on dates to cheer them up, They are never anything fancy, but they're always something meaningful and special for the two of you.

This includes anything from stargazing, going on picnics, dancing in the living room, and so on. anything that is easy to do but will be sure to bring a smile to their face.

Always giving them flowers he picks when he is out and about doing things. He loves tucking the flowers behind his S/O’s ear. Would make them flower crowns as well thinking they suit them so well.

Always offer to help whenever he can, always wanting to be there for them when they need him to be.

Pulls little pranks or tells bad jokes to cheer them up as well, or to just make them laugh in general.

Vargas

He's a very loud individual, but he's also very communicative and that leaves little room for misunderstandings. That's how his s/o learns he is a very loving individual with a lot of love to give and how non of it is sexual in nature.

Once again vargas also just wants to see his s/o happy, healthy and living their best life. He just wants to love his Significant Other and let them know he is willing to give them the world

He would treat them to some real classic dates, such as: Homemade candlelit dinners, picnics on a nice summer afternoon. He'd be sure to get their favorite flowers or a significant meaningful gift.

He is a sucker for quality time and would be more than happy to watch movies with his s/o and cuddle up together till its time to get some rest.

Practically his s/o's personal hype man, as he is always encouraging of their hobbies and passions. Telling them how proud he is of them, and how great they are.

Man just wants a soft domestic relationship, need I say more?

Honestly, his emotional openness and willingness to communicate with his Significant other is honestly what makes any relationship he has a good strong one

Trien

I'm Honestly at a loss of words for Trein. He's lived a full life, he's seen his kids grow up and is probably watching his grandkids grow up. He probably just wants someone to exchange life stories with, and enjoy the small moments of life with him.

With his days probably being limited in the sense of at some point he'll have to retire and who knows how his elderly years will treat him. So I think he would just be happy to have a meaningful human connection, it doesn't have to be sexual, and it might not even be romantic. but whatever you want to call it - it would be pleasant.

He just wants to enjoy life, It doesn't have to be grand or exciting. It just has to be pleasant. He'd be more than happy to enjoy the simpler finer moments of life with his S/O.

He wants to be able to appreciate mornings in bed without taking them for granted, to enjoy quality time in the evening. to be able to reminisce over the past with a nice cup of coffee. but most importantly he just wants to be there for his grandkids and be able to support and spoil them. so needless to say He and his S/o are rather domestic and making the most out of little moments.

BONUS:

Neige

Although he has some questions at the start he is super understanding about the whole thing. He definitely makes sure to learn a thing or two just to make sure he understands and can make his S/O more comfortable.

Establishes boundaries and always asks for consent because he is a good boy and I refuse to believe otherwise. If he ever accidentally upsets them or makes them uncomfortable he'll apologize and always try to cheer them up and make it up to them.

Honestly, Neige is a complete angel and sweetheart in any kind of relationship he is in so the odds of him accidentally making them upset or uncomfortable are pretty low. considering his main goal is to make them happy and he tries his best to assure their happiness.

He just wants what's best for his S/O he wants to see them smile and be happy. He'd do whatever it takes to do so, sing them songs, tell them cheesy jokes, and cuddle while watching movies, the list is endless and full of cute and cheesy things.

He’d do whatever it takes to make them happy with no complaints

Definitely likes cheesy romantic gestures far more than anything else anyway.

Che’nya

Today's Unwanted and Unrequested headcanon is that Che'nya is Also Asexual. the specific kind of asexual that'll make dirty jokes, the kind of asexual that you probably didn't know was asexual because you didn't ask so they didn't tell you.

Absolutely a lovable bastard about the whole thing tho, because he completely understands and will listen to what their boundaries are, and he'll follow up by telling Them what his are.

He'll definitely tell Them what his clingy affectionate habits are to make sure that Their okay with him doing them or so he can make sure to cut them out for his S/O. Because Their happiness is more important than his habits.

Would prefer to cuddle over all else and take one good catnap. It is definitely that he'd like to spend the whole day cuddling and them basically have to throw him off because they have to use the restroom/bathroom.

Partners in crime vibes, you guys were too busy mastering the art of pranks to be horny /joke

I don’t have much to say for him other than he’s understanding and sees this as a win-win situation

---

There I go again slapping asexual headcanons on people again as an asexual person. This was both Fun and Difficult to do as a post this time around. But I think I can safely say I'm happy with it.

I hope you all enjoyed this series <3 Hope to hear from you all soon

Signed,

Admin Tea

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six

[pineappleciders]

I just saw your OC drawings post and damn, they look cool! I'd love to hear more about them (if you want). :)

-🪐

erm. yes please.

tw for some maybe dark topics like eds and menyal health. also school shootings. also huge infodump wanring.

this is MAX hes 13 and i think they r my favorite. he is non binary and uses he/they and alex is his bff. theyre kinda like edd from eddsworld personality wise. like theyre the main character and kind but also sarcastic and likes to pull pranks. i love him so dearly. he is bisexual

he is african and has two moms. max is rolling with the lgbt. them and alex have a very sibling like bond as they met when they were young and maxs family took alex in as if she wwre their own. they didnt adopt her her parents r just so neglectful that they judt took care of her. they are the bestest friends ever.

max deals with a toxic relationship during thhe show (its basically this show i made up in my head so im gonna say show) whereas this guy takes advantege of them and it fucks them up big tome. and theo is sad the entire time because he has feelings for max. more about theo down below!!!!vv

the one on the left is alex!!! shes 13 she has black hair dyed pink on the ends and shes autistic and obsessed with bombs and shes trigger-happy. shes like kind of obsessed with violent stuff but she radiates sunshine and shes literally batshit insane but i love her. she is a lesbian as seen from this photo

she is half filipino and half mexican. her father is absent and her mom is lowkey neglectful as fuck. shes also missing an eye and wears an eye badnage rhing. she dealth with lots of bullying when she was younger and actually is very dangerous she shiuld be locked up.

one on the right is sam and shes a trans lesbian. she is really kind and nice and uust goes along with everyone, but she has like a dark side n lets her walls down around her gf alex and her friends. she struggles with mental health issues and is also autistic and has a hard time showing her emotiosn and speaking. she can be serious sometimes and its kinda scary how she switches from being dark and brooding to all nice and talkative. basically she masks super hard but shes a rlly good person i love her.

she has an eating disorder. i havent decided what one but she struggles with body dysmorphia and body dysphoria. she is struggling all over

she has dark dark brown locs with gold rings in them. she has dark skin and usually wears a yellow tank top, a purple jacket and blue jeans + white shoes. pastel color scheme

sam again ^

this is theo i have way more photos of him but im too tored to go get them. hes 14 and trans and gay and i lvor him. hes kind of the smart one think tom from eddsworld. he has a goofy side thoigh and really cherishes his friends. he is autisitc too and he behaves very differently from how he thinks. he doesnt mean to come off as rude and cold but he cant help it. basically i am projecting very hard. i love him.

he has grey hair and green eyes and tan skin. his mom is white and his dad is black so he is mixed. his roots are a dark brown

he has some family issues and lives in a low-income house. he is so cool thougj i love him.

basically theyre all Utistic and go on wacky adventures Nd theyre all frienfs. theres more characters in the story and i will post them when they get named. anyways ive made like a future au for them, there are two different 'endings'for the story ive deciided

basically one is like they all be normal and max starts a company and gets all successful and alex is like super tech savvy and mechanical so shes like a worker for him and he pays her and theyre like a business duo. and theo is like a successful scientist too and i think sam is something idk but i have a deisgn for her and shes all goth snd pretty but idk what she does in tje fuyute.

the other ending (bad endging warning!!) is alex (the really unstable and trigger happy one) loses it and shoots up their school. she goes to prison for a long time and max and her friends are really bretrayed. and then they meet in the future when she gets release and their friendship is never the same and. its justnlike really angsty and sad and it makes me sad and i feel like its mean to put them througj that so i consider the ending where they grow up happy as the canon one. i still like the idea of alex going crazy so ill probably make some stuff for that

anyways tjx for listening i LOVE my ocs and i never get to talk about them. probably gonna post them more because of this. this post took 30 minutes to weite

[bellfort3]

tommy’s love language being flowers pog??

-tommy doesn’t know how to show affection

-like, at all.

-but one of the happiest moments of his childhood is when he met tubbo, and tubbo had found a flower, picked it, and gave it to him

-the roots were still attached to the flower and tommy didn’t know how to react to the gift but tubbo’s smile was so wide that tommy couldn’t do anything other than smile back and accept the flower

-he kinda just. held it in front of him for a moment, staring at it.

-that was a while ago, and tommy still sucks at giving and receiving affection

-about once every two months, tubbo will randomly hand him a flower

-neither of them really acknowledge it

-during exile, tommy didn’t get flowers. he certainly didn’t pick them himself, that was painful. he didn’t realise how much he loved them

-after the whole dream thing, after the whole techno thing, after exile, after the community house confrontation, after /doomsday/, tommy struggled with comforting himself

-he wanted tubbo to give him a flower, and he felt pathetic because of it

-then dream gave him a message, gave him and tubbo a date for their final battle, and decided “fuck it”

-he set about and picked flowers for just about everyone.

-he spent the next few days, in between breaking down and preparations for the war with dream, handing out flower to everyone around

-no words were said when he handed them the flower, just a genuine smile with admittedly sad eyes

-ghostbur gets one first. he’s completely clueless but smiles widely when he receives it. he does ‘oh! I’ve never seen this shade of blue before!’ even when the flower is red

-niki doesn’t know what to do when she receives it. she’s stunned into silence his eyes are more pained than they ever have been, and he had mouthed “i’m sorry” so broken and silently before running off

-tommy delivers on to techno and phil, only hours after he stole potions. techno doesn’t want to admit hes concerned and phil looks so openly confused and worried. tommy doesn’t say anything, just hands them the flowers and leaves. both of them wanted to say something but neither had the words

-he gives one to sam, even if they weren’t too close of friends. he knows sam didn’t really get involved with war, and therefore sam had never really hurt him. he was nice to him. sam smiles and takes it with a smile and thanks him, though he loses the smile when he watches tommy run away silently, especially when he sees the boy start to craft armor

-fundy tries so hard to be grateful, to act like nothings weird about this interaction, but he can’t help but chuckle awkwardly, and question what’s happening. but tommy is already walking away, and fundy stares at the flower in his hands. he had laughed while l’manburg was blown up, and he didn’t regret the destruction. but tommy was acting so weird and he didn’t know what to do, so he just holds the flower for the next few hours, before putting it in the grass next to his house

-jack immediately starts laughing when tommy gives him the flower, but it falters when tommy just walks away. “what’s this for?” he yells but doesnt get a response. he doesn’t find anything significant about the flower but holds on to it before putting it in a chest. he feels unexplainably guilty when he thinks about throwing it out.

-eret sees tommy’s distracted gaze and shaking hands and takes the flower slowly. they make sure to grasp one of tommy’s hands in their own, giving silent support. they know their words won’t impact tommy enough. eret will forever feel guilt for their betrayal of l’manburg, and more importantly, traumatizing the kids of l’manburg. they know tommy is about to face something terrible, but they also don’t know how to help. all they can do is stare at the boy while he runs away, until they can’t see him anymore.

-sapnap is mad when he gets the flower. not at tommy though. tommy is already walking away the moment sapnap has the flower in his hands, so doesn’t get to say anything. this wasn’t how he wanted things to be. him and tommy have always had a rough relationship, but he liked the kid more than he disliked him. the flower feels wrong in his hands, but he doesn’t crush it. he gently puts it in his inventory and tells himself he’ll plant it later, when no one can see.

-quackity’s heart hurts when tommy gives him the flower. he had seen the way tommy lit up when tubbo gave him a flower once; and he knows the boys are about to go into an unbeatable

war. he takes the flower with tears in his eyes and tommy runs off, once again, without words.

-punz didn’t know what to think. he never cared about anything other than personal gain, and had a lot of trouble admitting to feeling sympathy for the boy. he takes the flower with a nod

-bad knew something was off. tommy was never silent and he usually never did anything as soft as give out flowers. but the egg was clouding over his mind, so he could only give a confused smile as he accepted the flower and watched the blonde boy leave

-puffy almost cries when tommy smiles and gifts her the flower. she knows he’s going to go to war soon, everyone knows now. both him and tubbo have been preparing nonstop for the past few days. it breaks her heart, that these kids have gone through so much. she hates the way the flower feels like a goodbye.

-ranboo has always been one for bluntness. he doesn’t immediately take the flower, and instead he asks “what’s this?” tommy is obviously frustrated by the hesitation and continues to hold out the flower. ranboo doesn’t back down. ranboo becomes the only one tommy talks to when giving out by he flowers. “Just take the goddamn flower ranboo.” “But why? You have never given me anything before. Only taken.” Tommy let’s his hand drop, fingers still tightly wrapped around the stem of the rose. “It’s just a fucking flower ranboo. I’m not giving you a full set of netherite. Just take it. I don’t care if you eat it later or cherish it forever.”

He shoves the flower into ranboos hands and walks away with his hands in his pocket. ranboo looks at the flower in his hands, and he takes it home, still weary of it’s meaning and puts it in a pot on his windowsill. he makes sure to write about it in his memory book, something about tommy’s slightly fearful and dejected expression and the silent pain in his voice.

-the last person he gives a flower to us tubbo, and that’s when they have said they’re goodbyes down the prime path. tommy already gifted his flowers, the walk down the path was more for show than anything. at the end of the past, uncaring of the people behind them watching, tommy gives him a flower

-tubbo looks up at him, and they both have tears in their eyes. such a small gesture meant something so big to them. this was the first time tommy had ever reciprocated a flower. tubbo bend down gently and plucked a smaller flower that was growing in the grass at his feet, and gave it to tommy

silently. neither of them said anything, and simultaneously tucked the flowers behind their ears. they knew the flowers would be lost almost immediately on the journey. it didn’t matter. they stayed silent until they got on the boat ride and followed the compass

-the adults watching the interaction felt like the flowers held a lot more of a significant meaning to the tommy, and by extension tubbo, than they first thought. but they had no idea what the meaning was. (it was tommy’s way of affection. the first real gift he was given by someone other than wilbur, was the flower from tubbo. the meaning of significance of the flowers was love.)

-when tommy and tubbo survived the battle, when tommy’s backup plan of paying punz payed off, when sam helped imprison dream, tommy felt lighter. he employed sam to help him make his hotel

-and when sam told him to go and pick a stack of poppy flowers? tommy was so elated. he thought he’d never get to see flowers again. he got more than a stack, and had the biggest grin on his face for the rest of the day

...I’ve gone soft. Thank you con for the sweetest and most pure headcannon yet. I loved reading this so much. Especially the happy ending about flower picking for Sam and the hotel.

I love you con<3

[wasflypaw]

c!Jack from c!Tommy's POV as someone who enjoys and has watched both of their POVs for 8 months now, A Thread. This is not talking about Jack's POV. I'm well aware of his thoughts and feelings, this is about Tommy's POV of the events (this isnt as detailed as I want it to be bc I made it for a Twitter thread with limited characters)

Jack n Tommy were close. Tommy begged for Jack to join L'Manberg, even showing him one of his prized discs to show him he trusted him even after Dream had paid Jack to burn all Tommy's items and repeatedly tried to manipulate and get him on his side. Jack n Tommy would hang out a Lot without any conflict other than the usual friendly bullying Tommy would do to even Tubbo. He would mess around a Lot w Jack, it never lead to any bad feelings towards the two. They had the Cartel together, theyd hang out regularly, they were very close on the SMP. Keep This In Mind before I talk about the scene next that has been burned into my mind as I wonder why it's never brought up again

On election day, Jack was there and there's a scene that I feel is kinda important? After Schlatt exiles Tommy, Jack says "I like this guy" and when Schlatt says "I was getting tired of them anyway" n Jack says "that's true". Tommy says "Jack..?" in a heartbroken sounding voice. They did not talk again in canon I believe until after November 16th. Jack believes he was left behind with Schlatt, we all know Tommy wouldve accepted him with open arms like he immediately accepted Techno n Quackity into Pogtopia. Jack doesnt know this

Then we got Exile. Jack attempts to visit Tommy and we get the iconic Lava Scene. Below is a rant I made about it not really explaining any side but I would just be repeating the rant so I may as well just post it here.

It's a weird bit of misinformation that Tommy didnt apologise? Bc he immediately said "why did i do that?", joined call and apologised to Jack, like a genuine, sincere apology, and admitted that he thought Jack didnt care about him n was only visiting him out of pity like he thought everyone else did.

The issue is he didnt realize an apology wasnt ENOUGH. Tommy was apologising for being a dick and making him lose his items, not because he killed him bc be doesnt Know he canon killed him. People non-canon kill eachother All the time on the server. Its classic miscommunication. Jack was still hurt, meanwhile Tommy was out there believing an apology wouldve fixed things. Tommy has NO idea just how much he hurt Jack that day, and its p much confirmed by cc!Jack he didnt realize it was a canon death either. This is the part that Hurts to watch as a Jack viewer and a Tommy viewer. Tommy doesnt realize that Jack feels betrayed and hurt and angry and has Already apologised.

So then we have the Nuke. This is where more misinformation comes from, ppl seem to think Tommy is completely oblivious to it but Tommy is more observant than he let's on. He has like. 40 seconds where he thinks about how the nuke Just missed n thinks about Jack and Niki, then brushes it off. This isnt being Oblivious, this is Hardcore Denial imo. He doesnt want to think that Jack, someone he was best friends with, and Niki, someone who he Also was friends with, would do that. So he denies it. He doesnt like change. (By the way, just bc the nuke missed doesnt mean it wasnt attempted murder and didnt happen! Just putting that out there!)

We have the scene w Sam Nook where Tommy tells him Jack's acting weird. We know at this point Tommy knows Something. It's pretty much confirmed Tommy doesnt know he hurt him that badly when Jack asks if he's wronged him and Tommy says No

Then the hotel scene. God the hotel scene. The epitome of miscommunication. So Tommy gets out of prison, he's at his absolute Lowest point, he's told by Tubbo that Jack stole his hotel and made it crappy (Tubbo's words). The hotel was literally All Tommy had. So he then sees Jack. Jack understandably is very shocked n confused that he's alive. Tommy didnt enjoy talking about how he died so he attempted to leave, saying "Anyway", Jack takes this as him belittling him. Jack says, and I quote, "This is why you deserve this" which instantaneously crossed a line Tommy Didnt. (Sorry it Really Bothers me when ppl say Tommy was "verbally abusive" in this conversation, if he was Jack was too sorry to break it to you. Point is I dont see Either as "abusive" here they're both hurt and lashing out) Tommy says he's making it all about himself and he's selfish, Jack says he's the selfish one and all he does is take and he's made the hotel better than he ever did. Tommy is confused bc he thinks Jack was happy with the job, Jack comes out with a bombshell n says "I didn't complain because I was trying to kill you!"

Jack is ranting his heart out to a very confused, disoriented and lashing out Tommy who is Literally Canonically Zoning out at parts bc he just Doesnt want to hear about Jack, someone he Still sees as a friend, trying to kill him after he was in Denial about said situation. I cannot stress this enough, Tommy DOESNT realize how much he hurt Jack. Tommy from his POV has only been uncomfortable with the Nuke thing and was told Jack also stole his hotel. He doesnt know Why. He thinks he fixed things w Jack long ago after he apologised. Of Course he's gonna immediately be on the offensive when he sees Jack who he believes stole the one thing he had from him and Confirms what he was in denial about.

Yo important to note Jack literally says "this is why you deserved being dead" no paraphrasing no taking it out of context he literally says this during their argument. I'm sorry but while Tommy was being an asshole he Was Not The Only One I'm sorry to break it to you. Jack has a warped perception of Tommy, Tommy has a warped perception of Jack. It goes two ways!

Tommy said some shit things to Jack that he needs to apologise for but Jack said some horrible things to Tommy also. Jack doesnt know what Tommy is thinking, Tommy doesnt know what Jack is thinking. They have two very different stories in their head of the same events

So yes, when Jack refuses to give the hotel back, Tommy's gonna be all like "I thought we were pals?" Because he thought they were pals lmao. I See You, Dont compare that to Dream pretending to be Tommy's friend, that's so very messed up and was the main reason I made this essay, along with people saying "Tommy hasnt apologised for canon killing Jack :/"

[ghost-go-roasty-mctoasty]

What if hallucifer stayed with Sam throughout the whole show? What if cass didn't really fix the problem, but only took the pain away?

Sam walks out of that hospital knowing he's not alright. Knowing he's never gonna be alright. He gets into shotgun, dean smiling next to him warmly, Lucifer smiling at him from the back seat. Cold dead eyes.

Lucifer is there with him when dean and cass get blasted to who knows where. Crowley tells him he's all on his own, Lucifer laughs next to him.

He meets Amelia, but eventually she leaves him. He doesn't blame her, who would want to be with a guy who talks to air and barely sleeps? He starts drinking a lot after that.

Dean comes back, from purgatory apparently. He doesn't know about lucifer, Sam never told him, didn't want to make himself a bigger burden for his brother. So he lies, tells him he was with Amelia this whole time. Dean gets angry. Sam knew he would, but it's easier this way.

Lucifer is with him when they find the bunker, commenting on the ugly lamps. Sam snickers, dean looks at him weird, but doesn't say anything.

Lucifer is with him when he completes the first trial. He looks down to Sam who is covered in blood. He points to the dead hellhound. "I knew that one." He says. "Her name was Ashley."

Lucifer is with him when he goes to hell to rescue bobbys soul. "I did not miss this place." Lucifer whispers next to him. A shiver goes down Sam's spine.

Lucifer is with him when he's just about to finish the last trial. Lucifer always keeps quiet when Sam is completing trials, something about "purification." Sam doesn't really know, he mostly blocks him out.

He's there when dean comes and stops him. He's yelling at Dean, telling him to go, leave them. But dean cant hear him, he knows he cant hear him. Sam doesnt know why Lucifer even tries.

Lucifer is in the back seat of the impala when Sam wakes up. He doesn't remember getting into the impala. He remembers passing out in the mud in front of the church. His clothes are clean now though. Lucifer is quiet.

Lucifer has stopped talking to him, he just hovers now. It's driving Sam mad. He's not used to the strange silence, but he doesn't suspect anything weird until he starts losing fragments of his day.

He starts noting down time frames that he loses. He started when he was researching in the library at 2:45pm, blacked out, and came to in the kitchen at 3:14pm. Lucifer stays out of his way. Sam sometimes thinks he has a look of pity on his face, but that can't be right, can it?

Sam eventually asks dean about this. His brother just brushes him off. Lucifer continues to hover.

Crowley comes and saves him. Sam kicks the angel out. He opens his eyes to see Lucifer staring at his brother. "I guess sammy has a thing for kicking angles out."

Deans starting to get suspicious. Sam's zoning out more and more. Eyes glazing over as he just listens to Lucifer ramble on about nothing. About everything.

"You good Sammy?" Dean asks him one day while they're eating breakfast. Sam answers too fast. Dean only gets more suspicious.

Dean eventually finds out, Sam knew he would sooner or later. He finds dean with alcohol more often now. A look of guilt is permanently stuck on Sam's face.

"Its not your fault Sammy." Dean always tells him. Sam is finding it harder to believe him.

Sam zones out more often. The only thing that can bring him back is deans touch. Deans heavy hand on his shoulder bringing him back down to earth, grounding him. Deans always looking at him with this sad smile. Sam feels like he's failed him.

Lucifer is with him when he finds out dean got the mark of Cain. "Oh that's a nasty little thing." Lucifer comments next to him. Sam has taken to ignoring him, it eases deans mind.

Dean is getting worse and worse. And so is Sam. Dean is slowly losing care for Sam and he's not there for him anymore. He's not there to ground him, to pull him back.

Sam starts zoning out for longer periods of time. Dean doesn't seem to care, only rolls his eyes. Lucifer watches perched on a chair next to him. "Does big bro not love you anymore?" Sam flinches.

Lucifer is there when dean dies.

Lucifer is there when Sam finds the note. "Aww big brother left you." Lucifer laughs.

Sam is spiralling. Lucifer talks to him more and more as Sam searches for his brother. No-one is there to ground him anymore. No-one is there to help him. One day Sam accidently talks back to Lucifer. Lucifer looks shocked for half a second before that cold smirk comes back to his face.

"Its been years since you talked to me Sammy." Lucifer says one day as Sam is reading a book on demons. "I missed our little talks." Sam slams the book shut. "Shut up." He hisses.

Lucifer is right there as Sam ducks down to avoid the hammer. "I never knew why Alastair liked this one." Cass appears. Thank god. Sam falls back against the wall and helplessly covers his ears. He knows it won't block him out. "Sure he ripped apart a lot of souls in hell, but a hammer?" Sam hits his head against the wall. "Shut up shut up shut up." Lucifer laughs at him. Cass pays him no mind.

Lucifer is there when the darkness is unleashed. "Ooh aunty." He says next to Sam. Sam flinches, dean places a hand on his arm. All three stand there and watch.

"You know, I find it really uncomfortable that your brother has a thing for my aunt." Lucifer says one day. Sam looks him right in the eye. "Shut up, Lucifer." Sam hasn't looked directly at Lucifer for at least 3 years. Lucifer smiles coldly at him as dean walks up to Sam, worry and fear etched into his face. Palms out towards him like he's trying not to scare off a frightened animal. Sam doesn't feel too far off from that.

Lucifer is with Sam when he goes to see real Lucifer. Sam thinks he's going crazy.

"So, you're still seeing me huh?" Real Lucifer asks him. Sam sucks in a breath as Lucifer stands to the side of the cage. "Oh c'mon Sam. I've been inside that head of yours. There's nothing I don't know about you." Real Lucifer smiles down at him. Or is it fake Lucifer? Sam doesn't know anymore.

Lucifer is with him as he gets tourted by the British men of letters. Always sending words of encouragement, towards Toni.

Lucifer is sitting on the steps. "Ah remember our lovely time down under?" He asks, titling his head to get a better view of what the lady was doing. "Ooh blowtorch. You never did like fire huh?" Sam screams. He can bearly hear Lucifers laughter over his own screams of pain.

Dean comes and saves him. Hands all over him as soon as they're out. Lucifer rolls his eyes at them. "Mother hen." Sam tenses up.

Lucifer is there when their mother leaves them. "I guess everyone hates ya huh Sammy?" Lucifer smiles at him. Dean doesn't react, doesn't even look at him.

"Never did like the brits." Lucifer says one day. Sam smiles. Deans hands are on him straight away.

Lucifer is there when Jack is born. Lucifer is there when cass is killed. Sam thinks he's seeing double, two Lucifers talking to him at the same time.

One Lucifer stays with him, one goes with his mother. He's not sure which is which. So he asks. Lucifer laughs at him. Dean doesn't put a hand on him.

Dean always stands closer to him after that, he's always making sure that they're touching, that they're shoulders are brushing. Lucifer gets annoyed at dean. Tries to hurt him. Sam sleeps less and less, just in case, just in case one day Lucifer succeeds.

Lucifer sits right next to Sam one day, getting all up in his personal space. Dean isn't in the room. Sam silently sobs.

Lucifer is always hovering around Jack, making terrible remarks about the kid. Sam snaps one day. "Leave him alone!" Lucifer smiles at him, Jack looks up at him like a confused puppy, and dean is dragging him out of the room, his fingers digging into his shoulder blade.

Jack has started to avoid him after that. Dean tells him not to worry about it, but it breaks Sam's heart. Lucifer laughing at him for it all the time is not helping.

Lucifer is there when the vampires get him. Cheering to the side of the cave. And Lucifer is there when he wakes up. He didn't know that it was the real Lucifer.

Lucifer is with him when he makes it back to Dean, both of them. Sam only knows which one is real beacuse everyone is looking at that one. Sam feels like he's failed Dean, again.

Dean hugs Sam, but it doesn't feel real, it doesn't feel right. Lucifer pokes his blood caked neck, Sam jerks away from dean. Dean looks at him with heart broken eyes.

Deans hand is on him all the time now. Holding his arm, brushing their shoulders together. It makes Sam feel jumpy.

Sam makes sure Lucifer stays in this world. He doesn't know which one he trapped, but he hopes it was fake Lucifer. Real Lucifer is easier to deal with.

Lucifer is there when real Lucifer is killed. Sam smiles at him.

"So much for your win Sammy." Lucifer says one day while Sam is sitting in the darkness of his room. "Sure you killed me, but you lost your big brother." Sam wishes he could punch him.

Lucifer is there when Sam gets dean back.

Dean makes a comment on his beard. "Don't listen to him Sammy." Lucifer says as dean walks off. "I think you look good." Sam shaves his beard off after that.

Lucifer is there when Michael possesses dean again. He's laughing the whole time. Dean won't help him, can't help him. Dean is gone.

"Let him in the box Sam!" Lucifer suddenly snaps at him one day, making Sam jump. "Get rid of Michael!" Sam starts to cry. It's too much, not even deans touch is helping him anymore. It feels wrong, alien.

Nick attacks him, Lucifer is cheering him on. "Ah I wish he was my true vessel!" Lucifer exclaims as Sam's vision darkens.

Mary is dead, Jack is gone. "Bye bye mother Mary." Lucifer sings. Sam flinches, dean doesn't care.

"Oh so you can't put your brother in that box, but you sure as hell can put my son in?" Lucifer is yelling in his ear. Sam punches the air. Deans hands on him don't help.

Chuck comes back. Lucifer snarls at him, never stops yelling at him. It's hard for Sam to pay attention to anything, he can't hear anything over Lucifers yelling. Deans hand is on his shoulder the whole time, but he seems out of it.

Lucifer was quiet for a while after God killed Jack. Sam counts his blessings.

Lucifer is there when they rendered chuck powerless. He seems to have a grateful look on his face.

Lucifer isn't there when dean dies.

Lucifer isn't there when miracle dies.

Lucifer is there when Sam's on his death bed. He's standing in the corner of the room, arms crossed over his chest. He waves, and Sam's vision fades.

Sam's free.

Sam's finally free.

[constellaj]

How about A for Reality Trip for the episode rewrite thing?

my biggest issue with reality trip is that its just a series of travelling around to non connected locations to get the mcguffins, and while danny’s secret being public matters somewhat, it doesn’t really impact the fact that they’re on the move too much. I also don’t like the ‘maddie and jack accept him perfectly and then he wipes everyones minds anyway’ cause that doesnt do anything. i DO like the “our summer vacation plans got ruined thanks to a ghost” angle so i want the themes of the episode to focus on danny’s frustration that nothing ever goes right and how he doesn’t even know what he wants

so i think in my rewrite:

-danny’s secret is out almost immediately, and it’s because the GIW shot him w a destabilizer and he publicly morphed (he got away thanks to shenanigans similar to the onstage debacle in canon) how this is thematic: he thought he didn’t want the secret out at all but, weirdly, a lot of the popular kids are fine with it. he’s still afraid of what his parents will think but he’s also frustrated that he had unfounded fears

-however, when danny (terrified) goes to his parents: theyre gone. freakshow has taken jack/maddie/jazz/etc and frozen them in some magic bubble bullshit or mind control or whatever so they don’t actually know. freakshow is sending danny on a fetch quest for the gems thematic relevance: he just hyped himself up for this conversation and they got yanked away

using these two, i think we can keep a similar opening/setup for the ep, ie freakshow in GIW containment until he breaks out, for setup-payoff

regrettably this still keeps the fetchquest aspect that i think makes reality trip broken in the first place, but since the first freakshow ep was about danny being evil I think it could be neat if we had some of that carried over into this. the ‘reality stones’ (since we live in a post mcu world now, we regrettably would have to change some of this, but i digress) respond highly to ecto activity or whatever, basically meaning that with every new one they get danny becomes a little more powerful. since everything is going wrong for him (see: the theme) and he doesn’t know what he wants, he starts to get a liiitttle power-hungry. A little messed up in the head.

ideally then there should be a way to work Vlad into this plot too. i’m a sucker for dadvlad tbh so let’s say that... when the Fentons first get kidnapped danny begrudgingly goes to vlad like “my mom and dad are kidnapped” and vlad may be a dick but he doesnt want his college crushes (or crush singular if i’m forced to be canon compliant) locked up so he’s helping. at first hes like “oh my boy daniel let Me hold the Magic Rocks surely you trust me haha >:)” and then later hes like “....son these rocks are turning your brain into goo.” course nobody believes him cause its all a ploy all the time forever and always

since danny’s secret is out too that means theyre actively on the run and vlad can’t always be There because he’s relatively high profile in either form, just for different reasons, so we can make him more of a “i did research offscreen and i think this gem is in x location but I can’t go there because i’m a bitch” type character

i DO like the intelligent aladdin-like ploy of ghost envy in the original but ‘ghost envy’ as a theme has to be reworked at least slightly for this, so also with danny being evil let’s say he’s feeling the scales tip especially after his reveal to the point where he’s feeling like he’d be better off if he was living his life entirely as a ghost. 

of course when they get the things to freakshow danny has the gauntlet and hes all like “im evil now and i will kill you” and sam/tucker/maybe vlad are like “but danny. you have friends.” and we get a montage/list of allusions of those times that they actually helped him on this fetch quest, like idk sam at a rock concert using loud horrible teenage music to chase the GIW out etc. they got souvenirs from everywhere they went. so danny sees this and hes like “oh noooo my humanity” and drops and in that split second freakshow grabs the gauntlet

and dannys like “oh great even NOW nothing EVER goes right for me” but because i put vlad here and because i like parallels vlad is like “so what are you gonna wimp out” or whatever he says. they probably had a somewhat heartfelt speech earlier about “why are you helping” “I care about jack and maddie being alive” “bro they hate you” “not everything has to go right for me to give a shit, daniel” or w/e

so before danny can overreact with his rage he remembers to work with what he has and pulls the fast-thinking “oh i bet you wish you were a ghost huh” trick that allows him to put freakshow in the thermos. then danny goes to get the glove and hes like “wait... no... that turns my brain into goo” and vlad is like “how about i get it :)” and danny is like “no youre evil” and vlads like “damn u caught me”

so sam and tucker actually use the gauntlet bc theyre not ghosts so their brain wont get fucky wucky. obvs they make the decision to wipe peoples memories of dannys identity but theyre also like “danny... don’t you at least want to see how your parents would react before we do this” and danny just sorta. shakes his head and repeats some “not everything has to go right for me to give a shit” line from vlad or something and of course its cause hes still insecure but also he’s okay with not having PERFECT control over everything now which is what he struggled with all episode so. character growth!

i feel like me saying “vlad should be here :)” is a staple that might lead to his character losing some of that original allure but like... honestly. vlad should be here :)

before the memory wipe dash makes out with him but that was a given

[kurtanaaa]

ok time to assign abba songs to glee characters

humour me this is very self indulgent

gimme gimme gimme: definitely marley tina and unique!!! i think the cheerios should back them up and dance with them for this

take a chance on me: tina to quinn hehe.... itd be adorable... and the rest of the gang has to do the backup vocals and look delighted the whole time

waterloo: everybody can do this one!!! big group number!!!! they HAVE TO HAVE THE ABBA STYLE FITS THO. also i think santana and kurt should take the lead bc im biased and also theyd kill it

money money money: wouldnt it be amazing if sam sang this. insanity. he should drape himself across a piano. go sam go!

fernando: rachel to finn (they may have ONE abba song. ONE.) she can sing this in season four or five

voulez-vous: original new directions girls!!!!. also a group number partially. i think it would be nifty if the warblers got the sticks out of their asses and joined this one 2. like at a big party with both glee clubs and a bunch of mckinley students. yes ik that would never happen but this is MY fantasy!

the winner takes it all: kurt about blaine in s4 or quinn about... any man ever

chiquitita: mercedes to quinn in season one!!!!!

lay all your love on me: sam and mercedes with the new directions girls backing up cedes and the guys backing up sam of COURSE! they have to be on a beach. and if the guys dont do the stupid walk they do in mamma mia what is the point!!!! entertain me, boys! im also thinking that at the end of the song everybody should run into the water and have the time of their lives

slipping through my fingers: quinn in season three about beth. this would make me sob my eyes out

super trouper: brittany, mercedes, and santana to the season four or season six newbies!!! as a little performance momenttttt

honey honey: mercedes, kurt, and - hear me out - finn. they drag him in to join while mercedes is hanging out in the garage and he is secretly living his best life

sos: artie and... someone. idk who probably mercedes bc the harmonies r so sexy. maybe kitty? OR alternate idea: st. berry!

does your mother know: marley to jake. no it doesnt REALLY fit but i think they would have a lot of fun and it would make marley smile which i love to see

knowing me knowing you: puck. i dont have anything else but i know that im right.

one of us: santana about brittany in season two or marley and jake in season five

under attack: kurt in season five before the proposal... and santana and rachel are exasperatedly backing him up and dancing around him while he loses his marbles

mamma mia: i know they already did this as a group number but i just think it fits so well im not changing it. i need all the characters to join in tho not just kurtcheltana and the s4 lima kids. and they Must have the fun outfits

dancing queen: santana and mercedes own this sorry bout it!!!!! however i think that they should run through the school collecting all the ladies in the entire building and frolicking with them as they sing

when i kissed the teacher: emma. this mightve singlehandedly made me care slightly about wemma

my love, my life: blaine about kurt in season four... now THIS wouldve made me SAD

the name of the game: kurt about blaine in season two OR unique!!! i think she could do this so well. i dont have a scenario i just like the idea

angeleyes: mercedes about sam when hes dating brittany. she would KILL this and the theme is very fitting

i have a dream: marley... omg i just thought of this it fits her so well... OH WOW IM BIG BRAINED THIS IS SO APT !! and everyone can back her up like in chasing pavements

andante andante: tina and quinn. then they KISS!

thank you for the music: sue. i mean it. its during regionals at mckinley and shes singing it in her office very quietly and then the new directions kids pass her office and hear her and slowly start singing along with her in the hallway. and then the other show choirs wind up there too and they all sing it together and its just a big ol wall of good sounds. i think that would be neat. we shouldve gotten the different show choirs singing together more

i dont have an explanation or a defense for this i was just bored. yes i know its mostly the girls what are you gonna do about it!!!!!!!!!

[calehenituseappreciation]

i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself

wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)

i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase

tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT

toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)

toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home

its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!

Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.

Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.

"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"

"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.

"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched

Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.

"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?

the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was  pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after

toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing

basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"

"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"

basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing

[autisticandroids]

hey so you know how you said a while back that cas doesnt really have a moc/demon dean or soulless Sam equivalent but if he did he would act the same bc hes horny and loves dean?? I agree and he would just do it WAY more unabashedly. my question is, in the version of spn where the writers are smarter AND more homophobic, how would they justify cas's actions? bc they cant use the cloak of humanity bc cas doesnt give a FUCK about humanity. so what would they do

okay the thing is that cas doesn't have a demon dean/soulless sam style arc because it wouldn't... do anything? the thing about cas is that he doesn't have inhibitions in the traditional sense. like he doesn't... feel the eyes of god or society watching him.

i had a long conversation with @pietacastiel the other day about whether cas has the capacity for "should" - and he really just... doesn't. there are two things that stand in for "should" for cas - one, "if i do this, [insert other person (usually dean but not always)] will like me," and two, "[insert person who i trust and obey] has told me to do this, and i will obey their command blindly because i am a good boy."

like, basically, number one is an essentially machiavellian calculation. he's trying to be someone that other people want around, so he makes himself useful to them or enjoyable to be around or likeable or what have you. it's entirely self-serving and probably wouldn't change if you took away his inhibitions or his empathy or his conscience or whatever.

number two is like... it's too intellectual to count as inhibitions, exactly - it's explicit rules that he has set down for himself, without internalizing. to give an example, cas knows that he's not supposed to watch porn in a room full of dudes, and he's not supposed to talk about it, but he will never understand WHY those things are true. he will just obey those commands.

in terms of other ethical behavior that cas demonstrates... the thing about cas is that he's just a nice person? he's highly empathetic, he likes to make other people happy, he likes to be friends, he's a sweetheart. he genuinely wants the best for people. he particularly wants the best for his nearest and dearest. this is what's going on when he heals babies, or decides that he's not gonna kill kelly, or sacrifices his life for dean. he is fundamentally doing what he wants. he wants dean to be alive more than he wants to not be dead, you know?

this is actually one of the things that makes cas so dangerous: empathy is fickle. if the only thing that's standing between you and murdering somebody is you liking that somebody and wanting to be their friend, you might murder them once they piss you off. or once something comes up that makes them being dead more valuable to you than you being their friend. and this is why cas is kind of a terrible person! this is why he's constantly doing war crimes. he doesn't really have a system of ethics.

now, here's the thing: cas does carry around a lot of guilt, but it's deeply ineffectual. it doesn't really change his behavior towards other people. it only really does two things: first of all, it convinces him that other people hate him and don't want him around. this intensifies his desperate need to be liked, and therefore his trying to be liked, but isn't the root of it. second of all, it makes him punish himself, stuff like trying to stay in purgatory.

now, if we did a demon dean/soulless sam situation on cas... what would that look like?

well, he would certainly lose all that guilt he's carrying around, but how would that affect his behavior? the main two effects, i think, would be to make him more confident and therefore bolder in terms of trying to be liked, and make him stop punishing himself/deciding that he deserves bad things.

the confidence boost might lead to him, say, throwing himself at dean a bit more than he does, but i don't think the change would be radical. i think it would just be kicked up a notch. but it's an issue of rational judgement more than inhibitions so i think he would stay basically the same. now, cas' judgement isn't the best, and in the context of relationships at least, if nowhere else, his guilt complex does semi-effectively combat his natural tendency towards total overconfidence, so it might have some serious effect, but i still argue it's rather a matter of degrees.

and him not punishing himself so much might lead to him doing things like getting more mad when dean treats him poorly, but not that much more, because fundamentally the reason cas doesn't get mad when dean treats him badly isn't because he thinks he deserves it - he does think that, but mostly he's just scared that if he gets mad or sets boundaries dean won't like him anymore. again, it's a matter of judgement. he's probably less scared that dean won't like him anymore if he sets boundaries because the elimination of the guilt complex makes him less convinced that everyone hates him, but the anxiety is still there - it's just less intense.

in terms of cas' other sources of ethics and inhibitions - wanting to be liked, obedience, empathy - these would be affected differently if he was like soulless sam and if he was like demon dean.

if cas lost his inhibitions the way soulless sam did... he wouldn't change that much, at least in terms of his personal relationships. he would lose his capacity for empathy, which means that he would be more likely to be a dick to randos on the street, or commit war crimes, but it wouldn't really change how he conducts his relationships, because the inhibitions he holds in relationships are intellectual, they're a matter of judgement anyhow. honestly i think he might still, for example, happily die for dean, if we're arguing that soullessness comes from a lack of empathy or conscience rather than a lack of all emotion, because his desire for dean to be alive is entirely selfish. he likes the world more with dean in it and that's that. so i think soulless cas would be more likely to be a dick behind the scenes - maybe pull some godstiel arc ass shit again - but it wouldn't necessarily change his treatment of those closest to him that much.

now, a demon dean style loss of inhibitions would look different, because demon dean's basic emotions weren't dampened - he was made more selfish and hedonistic and rebellious, and didn't care about other people. interestingly, demon dean didn't seem to lose his capacity for empathy - remember in black when he punched that guy who was abusive to that girl? he didn't do that because it was the right thing to do - he did it because it felt good, because he empathized with her situation and it gave him a rush to get her out of it. so a demonized cas' empathy is intact. but his "shoulds" - those are all out of whack. he's actively rebelling against them. obviously he would simply no longer obey the ones that are like, "follow this rule and you will never know why." but he would also stop trying to be liked. i think demon cas might in fact tell dean that he's been in love with him for years - while screaming an itemized list of every fucked up thing dean has ever done to cas in his face, and telling him to never speak to him again. hell, we've seen cas throw a temper tantrum like this before - "you're not my family, dean, i have no family" in the man who knew to much. demon cas would be like that except without it then causing him to have an immediate mental breakdown.

i would argue, however, that cas has had his own loss of inhibitions comparable to demon dean and soulless sam - crazy cas. it even follows the alliteration pattern, heh. this is because cas' inhibitions are far more in his brain than his heart, and to get rid of them you need to impair his judgement, not fuck with his feelings. like, his shoulds are entirely intellectual. i want to be liked, therefore i should do this, which will effectively cause other people to like me. i want to be a good boy for god/dean, therefore i will obey this rule they gave me. if you fuck with cas' judgement, you fuck with those inhibitions. so arguably crazy cas is cas' equivalent to demon dean and soulless sam.

anyway, to answer your question, i feel like soulless cas wouldn't necessarily need a cover, like, he might, oh, i don't know, covertly arrange more opportunities to be alone with dean or stuff like that, but he's not going to try and sleep with him because he still has most of his inhibitions in tact. demon cas they might have to admit is in love with dean and then kill, because i think demon cas would probably kiss dean and then punch him and leave. you know. and crazy cas we saw in canon.

[killrockabill]

So, i just finished falcon and the winter soldier, and i gotta say i do t understand the extent of the hate for walker. Don’t get me wrong not a good guy, but honestly almost tragic imo.

He starts off as this kinda douche jock type who by no means would i enjoy an extended conversation with, but thats abt it at the start? With how strong the response was I expected him to be a bigot or something.

We see him EARLY on feeling the pressure of the title and admitting while its what he wanted he doesn’t know if he can be what people expect (hmm real life parallels)

He is polite enough to sam and bucky in the bulk of their early interactions and even points out that he gets why they don’t care for him. He overstep in a number of ways. He assumes that a smile and shield will automatically earn their trust and lashes out after it doesn’t work right away. He doesn’t just get that from them however he gets that on the job plenty too.

We bust his balls because he throws the title captain America around but like lets be honest its a badass title so in more casual convos can you really say you would t name drop here and there? Then the escalated situations at the end of the day hes trying to do a job. He’s like a new manager not getting taken seriously because hes new, yes, he does need to earn it but did he REALLY get an opportunity to? A job he’s not fit for and knows it. He talks about wanting to do the job ie be in the field because its what he knows and is good at. Hes steves monkey on the unicycle drawing at the earliest stages.

He mentions to Lamar that the medals they earned were for some fucked up shit. Which unfortunately isn’t uncommon in the military nowadays. He calls this out during his trial (is it a trial? Idk what youd call it) he wasn’t steve who disobeyed orders for the greater good he was a good soldier at the expense of being a good man. Is that ok? Does that excuse anything? No. Not even a little because of course not all vets are like that but its not like hed be the first and unfortunately not the last.

THEN his insecurities about not being able to measure up and do the job. He IS the job. There are plenty od people like that where the job is not just a job but a part of them and what do you do when thats slipping? How many of us were the smart or creative kid and found ourselves feeling inferior by running into set back after set back. What does he do to rectify this? He takes the serum. He takes it KNOWING it can change him. he doesnt just throw it back like a shot of whiskey. No, he passively runs it by his best friend and partner; his bucky. (The whole I’m the new cap and this is my emotional support bucky is a whole separate convo I’m not gonna get into) he mentions being afraid of how it could change a person. His friend who genuinely believes hes a good man and will do his best supports him (obvs not realizing this isnt just a hypothetical situation)

Then it happens, lamar is gone his rock the guy we see earlier in the show reigning him in when he starts to lose his temper or not see the big picture. Hes gone because john wasnt good enough. So his rock and best friend are gone hes pumped a chemical in himself that everyone knows amplifies everything good and bad. He was a time bomb that went off. From there he spirals we literally see a mental breakdown followed by an ass whooping. Hes fucked up at this point and fucked up is as fucked up does. Nothing during this time is acceptable but it was ...inevitable.

He is not a good person by default and it does not come easy. This issue is exasperated by his own inadequacy, the pressure of being captain america, loss both personal and professional. He doesnt have the luxury of fighting nazis eho are objectively bad. He’s fighting people who are themselves in a grey area. At the end we see a small embodiment of him where theres a truck of people who need saving and his target getting away, and what’s he do? Hesitate. Steve would never have hesitated but ultimately he chose tk try and save the people (and failed hmm more inadequacy. Personally i thing they should have given him the win but thats neither here nor there.) yeah he was out for blood and i cant say that if my best friend was murdered i wouldnt be either (also i wish they did more with “LAMARS LIFE DIDNT MATTER?!” Like maybe it would’ve been heavy handed but you know where im going with it)

Hes a man that the military failed. A good soldier at the expense of being a good man. He clearly wants to be steve but cant and if that aint tragic idk mang.