#sam + the drama of the gifted child

[shallowrambles]

tw - eating disorders, poverty, rural areas, Sam W

I’m thinking about Sam and food today, and I’m seeing a handful of things popping up thought experimenting about how growing up on the road and/or fighting with high-Calorie needs might not have allowed for disordered eating to flourish.

It seems like a logical thought at first glance; however, poverty and lack of nutritious options growing up is not a deterrent to an eating disorder. It’s actually a risk factor.

Just because we can’t afford the fancy food or have to eat the high-calorie stuff during times of trouble, doesn’t mean it won’t manifest as a dormant aspect of later-in-life perfectionism. And speaking as someone who grew up in poverty, it’s complex but a lot about control and being as good as you can be. (Also: Good-looking ppl more easily climb the ladder. Good-looking ppl get more opportunities. “Looks-maxing” helps you blend.)

Even when you can’t adhere to fancy food, it’s about *wanting to.* It can be this whole world that tempts you with controlling *something* and fixing the things that you can, maybe even masking things that are “wrong” with you. It might lie dormant in your perfectionism and manifest on a trigger, like a family death or depressive episode.

///

Some stuff from Duke Uni to back up my life experiences: “Specifically, food insecurity most strongly affects people of color, rural people, the elderly, and children. While only a handful of studies have investigated the link between high levels of food insecurity and eating disorder pathology, recent research has discovered that adults who experience significant food deprivation on a regular basis are more likely to engage in several disordered eating behaviors.

…engaged in more objective binge eating and overeating, night-time eating, purging and other compensatory behaviors (such as exercising harder than usual and using laxatives/water pills), food restriction (such as skipping meals), restrictive diets, and dietary restraint.”

We see Sam exercising way more than Dean, too. Exercising can be healthy, but I think with Sam’s overall perfectionism and concerns with it, it’s not a stretch to see it as a hyped-up coping mechanism. (When taken by the government, Dean counts days and Sam counts push-ups.)

Anyway, poverty and bad eating in childhood or on the road is not a deterrent. It’s a risk factor.

[shallowseeker]

These details are added to make Sam feel more disrespected and minimized by the angels, to make him more jealous of Dean's lofty "righteous man" title. They are added to make Sam angry and to increase his resentment toward Dean.

(bolded for emphasis)

Zachariah is so focused on Dean in the end of "It's A Terrible Life" that it's easy to think that Sam doesn't mean anything to him and he isn't trying to influence Sam in any way. Sam wanted to drink demon blood and work with Ruby and hunt before this episode and he still wants to do the same things during and after, so it's easy to think that there is nothing here Sam is supposed to "learn" from Zachariah and he's kind of just along for the ride as nothing more than a tool in Zachariah's arsenal to get through to Dean after Dean's breakdown at the end of "On The Head Of A Pin"—to prove to Dean that he wants to be a hunter and it's where he's happiest.

As a result, when we ask ourselves questions like, "Why do they throw in that Dean Smith went to Stanford?" Our answers tend to focus on why Dean would want to have gone to Stanford.

Think about what Zachariah actually wants to happen though. He wants Lucifer to be freed, he wants the brothers relationship to break down (4.22), he wants the apocalypse to happen and for Sam and Dean to become the vessels for Lucifer and Michael.

There is a lesson for Sam in the "It's A Terrible Life"... but the lesson is intentionally very subtle, because what Zachariah wants Sam to take away from this episode is that Sam means nothing to him.

Zachariah wants Sam to feel that to the angels, Sam is nothing more than a loser in a dead-end customer support job in a tiny cubicle with all the other insignificant little worker bees. Meanwhile, Dean is the angels prize. Dean is sitting pretty in an executive-level marketing role on the upper floors. Dean is important to the angels. Dean matters. Dean is special. Sam is loser—he doesn't get an important role. He doesn't get respect. He doesn't get recognition. He doesn't get to meet Zachariah—Castiel's superior—at the end of the episode because he isn't important enough to meet Zachariah personally like Dean is. He only gets to hear it from Dean afterward. He gets to hear that Zachariah gave Dean a (deeply condescending) pep talk about how important Dean is and how special Dean is and how he'll succeed and do everything he's destined to do. Dean gets to hear the things that Sam wants so desperately for someone to tell HIM.

These details are added to make Sam feel more disrespected and minimized by the angels, to make him more jealous of Dean's lofty "righteous man" title. They are added to make Sam angry and to increase his resentment toward Dean.

The Stanford comment is an extra cruel jab. Getting into Stanford was something Sam would have worked very hard for. It was a tangible reward—recognition of his intelligence and talent and effort. It was probably something Sam took a lot of pride in and found extremely validating during a period where Sam always felt like a disappointment to John (1.08). Zachariah simply takes his accomplishment away and gives it to Dean. Sam already thinks people should be paying more attention to him—appreciating the power the demon blood has given to him. He's already said he's stronger and smarter and braver than Dean (4.14, 4.16) and nobody is listening... no one is recognizing that he's the better brother—he's going to be the hero who stops the apocalypse! Giving Sam's schooling to Dean is a way of reinforcing Sam's ego—his belief that Dean is being assigned traits that belong to HIM. It is a tangible reinforcement of his belief that he is better than Dean and Dean is stealing his valor.

[ananke-xiii]

Thinking about how in "Patience" Kelly tells Jack that he has an angel watching over him just like Mary told little Dean and how in "The Big Empty" the dead mother is both Mary and Kelly (Mary's not dead but she might be and anyway she was and that doesn't go away), how Jack is so ATTUNED to Dean's feelings that he feels his grief and that makes him awake Castiel in the Empty...

how "the Trauma Drama of the Gifted Child", the book that Sam reads in "Patience" while he surveils Jack through a monitor, is a book about children who are more emotionally aware and sensitive than others so much so that they they can become so ATTUNED to their parents' needs and expectations that they would do whatever it takes to see their parents' needs and expectations fulfilled while repressing their Self...

How Sam is the one who's actually trying to train Jack because he wants to find and save Mary Winchester...

How John trained Dean to help him in his revenge quest after Mary's death...

How Sam projects onto Dean in "The Big Empty" and tells him that he's acting like their FATHER while Dean replies he's not gonna be his (Jack's) MOTHER...

Yeah, The Gifted Child is totally Dean. Sam is more the John Winchester of it all, although his ways are obviously different and softer. And then Jack is also the Gifted Child and he's specifically too attuned to Dean's feelings to the point that he's willing to perform for him to placate him or see him satisfied (so, in a way, Sam was right just not for the right reasons).

My god, not that I needed more proof but my poor Jack was fucked up from, like, day 0. The amount of trauma he lived since day 1 on earth is. like. WOW. I mean. WOOOAH.

[shallowseeker]

In 12x16, Sam is a bull in a China shop when it comes to mentoring/parenting/caretaking

Safety vs autonomy: the core Sam dilemma

He obviously cares for Claire, but boy does he ever struggle to connect with her. He tries to do the checklist of things you do for people you care about: he asks about her wellbeing, then insists she has a hot meal! It's cute!

But...

When Sam immediately starts pressuring Claire to call Jody, he's forgetting that he's probably overstepping. He's not seen her in a while, after all! He's being classic-Sam-Winchester-pushy.

He doesn't butter her up or give them time to warm up to each other, just starts giving her the stink eye right out of the gate. In short, Sam has no finesse.

Just look at that stink eye: =____=

///

Look at Sam in the next scene, when he's finally one-on-one with Claire.

He's still pushing.

Even when he asks about if things are good, he's passive-aggressive about it. (This is very different than the straightforward approach that Cas and Dean take with Claire, as well as what we see from Jody.)

SAM: So (overdramatic sigh, a sigh full to the brim with assumptions) really? Things are good?

The way he says really. It's sooooo annoying, God bless you, Sammy.

Look. At. His. Face.

No wonder she called him an old skeezer right after this.

///

Ahem. Anyway. Once of Sam's core values is independence, and in the past when he's interacted with Claire, he's embodied that, teaching her to hack credit cards, and nagging her a little bit about using hunting to run away.

Here, he's flipping quite suddenly to true parent!mode, and Claire is not reacting well at all to his sudden change OR his style.

The pushy!Sam mode isn't working for Claire, the same way the overcaring faux!therapist mode won't work for Jack in Tombstone.

///

Claire is kidding around with him because she's uncomfortable. She's trying to lighten the mood.

Funnily enough, I think Sam's actually losing patience/offended here!

When it comes to have patience/affinity for younger people, I don't think it comes naturally to him. That's why he reads the self-help books and books like The Drama of the Gifted Child.

It's why it often sounds so careful, so practiced, which sets him up for disaster when his very real natural impatience comes out.

///

In the moment, she needs validation. It's like the song she'll listen to: "I'll never be good enough, you make me wanna die." She needs to feel respected by Sam. She doesn't feel like Sam's frank with her, and she wants to prove herself so he'll respect her.

Then, Sam, poor Sam. Comes in with this sledgehammer:

See, for one of the first times ever, Sam prioritized SAFETY over AUTONOMY.

When Claire didn't tell him the truth right away, he went behind her back and called Jody to find out how exactly what Claire was lying about...

BUT he didn't "tell." He tried to have the best of both worlds.

Sam still wants to be Claire's friend. The guy in her corner. (Cas already reckoned with this way back in season 10. That was his whole conversation with the therapist: "She doesn't need a friend." etc etc. Dean naturally sets boundaries, sometimes his boundaries are too rigid, sure, but it comes more naturally all the same.)

///

Claire then complains about being at the proverbial "kids' table," whenever they hunt, that Claire stays in the car while Jody does everything. (Sam felt this way about John and Dean! And as far as the kids' table goes, he still struggles with that feeling.)

And boy do I love this moment:

Claire's insecurities are manifesting the same way past Sam's did: she's putting words in other people's mouths. Her own insecurities are being shunted and reflected onto other people! Sam does this so, so, so often with Dean, especially in the vintage seasons. (It's part of growing up.)

But anyway back to Sam versus safety!

And Claire explodes, kindly tells him to fuck off. There is no trust here; she and Sam do not have an established parent-child relationship, so his insistence for her to tell the truth...CHAFES.

And then BOOOM. And that's why this episode will always be beautiful to me.

Sam never thought he'd be on the other side of this issue, prioritizing a younger family member's safety over their independence and getting frustrated when they don't see things his way.

She's so hurt that she runs away. And he doesn't follow her.

Clearly, Sam hates this feeling with Claire. It paralyzes him so much that they separate and she gets hurt. Bitten. DOOMED. On his watch. All his care and worrying weren't enough. He wound up pushing her away, upsetting her, and making her less safe in the end.

In later seasons, we can assume being a parent-parent chafes for him, causing him to reckon with his safety-versus-autonomy values in a fresh, uncomfortable way. He mostly flips back to a by-the-book, mentor-style parenting/caretaker relationship with AU hunters, Jack, etc.

But this moment with Claire is chef's kiss...and to me why Sam's arc doesn't feel done at the end of season 15. This struggle right here is the path for Sam finally understanding why his family often behaved as they did! If there ever were a sequel, I think this would have to be the through line. (Also, please give Sam a Sam-John-coded kid that will drive him crazy. Pretty, pretty please!)

///

Fun aside//

We see that Claire tames her emotionality with music, something Dean and Jack do as well.

///

[sadlybeans]

Gothamite, not meta human

(this is based upon a post i cannot find for the life of me so if you do know it, i’d appreciate a tag to give proper credit since this isn’t my original idea!)

There’s something about her that is… different. Maybe it was always there, maybe it came after, but everyone knows that once she sinks her claws on you, you’ll never be the same. She’ll tear you to pieces and build you back up an entirely different way.

It doesn’t really happen to everyone, at least by what little observations can be done. Or well… it does, it’s just that most are lucky enough to substain little damage— most are lucky enough to not catch her attention.

Sam down the street can see perfectly in pitch black darkness, and Jennifer who lives in the fifth floor always knows her way no matter where she is. A lot of the kids in first grade can walk without noise, some fourth graders can pass unnoticed unless they speak.

But some… oh, some she likes. Those she doesn’t want to ever let go of, those she can’t bear to see part.

They can never get rid of her, they can never run.

Her gift is a curse and the curse is a gift.

Nobody really pays attention to the random neighbours and school aged kids when you see them on your screen. It’s them and their curse you’ll remember.

They say Nightwing can truly fly, ever since he was just a little Robin. Maybe he can, maybe he cannot, nobody really knows for sure. All everyone knows is that there’s no fall big enough to hurt him and that some can swear they never see a grapple line pulling him from building to building.

Black Bat is a bit of a mystery, nobody dares talk about her behind her back, but she can fuse in the shadows perfectly or so say those who had the misfortune of crossing her path. Is she a shadow herself? Or are the shadows just at her mercy?

Red Hood can’t die.

Oh yes, many have tried, from the inferior clown to Black Mask, to other desperate people trying to contain his rampage, but it never sticks.

Before he used to be gone for a little while, but he just needed practice it seems. Now he doesn’t stop walking after a gunshot pierces his head.

He’s always been her favourite. He’s always been her dear child.

Red Robin is… a bit of a mess. People can’t tell if he can alter reality or if he just knows what’s going to happen. Or maybe it’s all just an illusion like all the times you could swear you saw him talking to someone that’s not there the next second. Or maybe it’s about all the times it seems he’s many places at once. Maybe.

At first people thought there were many Robins, but pretty fast it became obvious they’re all Robin. They’re everyone you cross on the street, every voice and every face. Do they even know who they are anymore? Were they someone at any point, even?….

Batman never talks much. He’s not shy. Alright, maybe a little awkward, but it doesn’t correlate.

He tries his best to not open his mouth at all, but judging by how much family drama there seems to be, he always speaks at the worst possible moment.

He tries to not say a word. If he does then there’s nothing you can do to stop it, not until the effect wears off.

It feels exhilarating when he compliments you. It hurts like a million knives piercing your heart when he doesn’t.

[bonnie-toyour-clyde]

Just got to s13 in my rewatch and i never noticed before that when Sam’s alone in the bunker w Jack watching him try to use his magic (i think 13x3) he’s reading The Drama Of The Gifted Child which is book about discovering your true self after childhood trauma and repressed anger and the knee jerk instinct to become numb to cope with abuse etc and like…. I love that.

I love that he’s aware that he needs to heal his inner child if he’s going to raise this kid who everyone in the world will hate (especially his own brother, who Jack already looks up to and tries to mimic). And its beautiful seeing him confront Dean for telling Jack he would be the one to kill him when the time came (and it’s heart wrenching to watch Jack sitting on the floor behind the corner like a kid trying to listen to his parents in a screaming match while also staying out of sight to keep himself safe). But…

I also hate that we only see a glimpse of the book’s cover. Like I had to pause in order to read the title. And that’s ALL they give him in the later seasons to show that he’s struggling with all of this. With Lucifer being out, with trying to raise the antichrist to not be the antichrist (which feels strangely displacing, like Jack’s himself from 9 years ago and he’s in the role of Dean but trying desperately to do a better job of making sure the kid knows he’s loved), and losing all of the same people that Dean lost but not being able to grieve for them quite yet. He has soooo much on his plate (as per ush) and the writers refuse to give him any depth about it. Any trauma response other than a clenched jaw and scared eyes. They’re just like Look! He’s reading a book about childhood trauma! Can’t you see he’s traumatized?! and then only show it for a split second.

This is not to say that that’s a bad way to cope at all, again I think it’s amazing that he is reading this book and you can see that it IS helping him - but only if you squint. Its very subtle. Like he isn’t allowed to have upsetting trauma responses anymore, he’s too old for that, he isn’t the baby anymore, Jack is. And that’s really what breaks my heart - it’s the treatment of the (100+ years of) trauma from the cage and from the wall in his mind and from losing his soul as something he should be over by them. He’s a big boy. He can read a book about it, he’ll be okay.

Anyway I’m frustrated by the lack of care for Sam’s healing throughout but especially s12 forward

[wrenwinchester]

Sam reading parenting books about gifted children in season 13 (about 22 minutes in to episode 3) is so important to me. (He opens the Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller, and yes. It’s a real book)

Parent!Sam is so important to me.

[justforbooks]

Bournville by Jonathan Coe

Coe is a compassionate witness to key moments in the life of a family and a nation

Jonathan Coe’s 14th novel opens with a snapshot of recent history that will stir fresh and uncomfortable memories. As the Covid pandemic is descending on Europe in early 2020, thirtysomething Lorna, a struggling jazz musician, is on tour in Austria and Germany. Lorna’s exhilaration at gigging overseas for the first time is tempered by a growing sense that the world is menaced by something extraordinary. It is both ominous and comic. Arriving in Vienna, Lorna can barely squeeze into her host’s car beside the stockpiled toilet rolls. For the reader, there’s an additional and more worrying dramatic irony: we can see that Lorna’s overweight musical partner, Mark, will be particularly vulnerable to the virus.

In Vienna, Lorna and Mark are taken to dinner by Ludwig, the owner of a small independent record label. A jazz fan and passionate anglophile, Ludwig is struggling to figure out what has happened to a nation he once admired for its tolerance, humour and self-awareness. “And now this same generation is doing … what? Voting for Brexit and for Boris Johnson? What happened to them? … What’s going on?”

Events since 2020 have only sharpened the urgency of Ludwig’s questions. And the loving, funny, clear-sighted and ruminative examination of recent British history that follows might be considered an attempt to answer them. Bournville travels back in time from March 2020 to stage a series of tableaux in which we witness key moments in the lives of the nation and Lorna’s extended family. The successive set-piece events show this family – and Britain – changing.

Our first stop is 1945, where we meet Lorna’s grandmother, Mary, as a child, on the eve of the VE Day celebrations. Mary’s parents, Doll and Sam, live in the chocolate-manufacturing suburb of Birmingham that gives the book its title. There is warmth and humour in the portrait of lower middle-class life presented, but it’s not sanitised. A strain of xenophobia bubbles up throughout the episode and climaxes in an act of violence that will echo throughout the book.

This sets the pattern of the novel, which tracks Doll, Sam, Mary and other members of the family through six further landmarks: the 1953 coronation, the 1966 World Cup final, the investiture of Charles as Prince of Wales, the 1981 royal wedding, the death of Princess Diana, and the scaled-down anniversary of VE Day in 2020.

As ever, prizing clarity over verbal fireworks, Coe’s writing draws the reader into the family dramas as they unfold over the decades. He has the great gift of combining plausible and engaging human stories with a deeper structural pattern that gives the book its heft.

We see young Mary as child and then return eight years later to find her a young woman, struggling with a romantic dilemma and then settling into motherhood. We then join her children on family holidays in Wales, follow them into adulthood and watch all their lives intersect with the larger national events. Beat by beat, we’re invested in their stories: which of her suitors will Mary choose? How will her own offspring fare? And although we know it’s going to happen all along, it’s still poignant and strange to watch young Mary gradually becoming Lorna’s elderly Gran.

Bittersweet as the eponymous bar of plain chocolate, the book ranges over a huge span of time, includes a large cast of characters, yet never flags nor confuses. It manages to squeeze in, among other things, the history of Bournville, European disputes over the labelling over chocolate, Welsh nationalism, the Festival of Britain, the launch of the Austin Metro and tensions over the European Union. As we leaf through the family album, there are touching jolts of recognition. It’s hard not to be stirred by your own memories of the events portrayed and thoughts of your own family.

Like the moving images in a zoetrope, Coe’s snapshots invite us to notice changes and continuities, track growth and decay; the strengthening of some relationships, the failure of others. There are striking reverberations along the book’s long passageways: unregarded turning points whose importance only becomes clear much later, echoes of behaviour, incidents that recur in a world that is the same but different.

As the nation changes and the racial makeup of the family alters, it’s not so much that bigotry gives way to tolerance, but that the ambiguities deepen. All along, we are reminded of the contradictory facets of the nation and of each individual character: the snobbishness that coexists with kindness, humour and narrow-mindedness, rationality and unexamined prejudices.

When one of Mary’s son’s starts dating a non-white girlfriend, his grandmother Doll is disquieted. “‘Do you treat her the same?’ Doll wanted to know. ‘I mean … do you treat her the same as you would any other girl?’” This striking line is an unsettling and plausible combination of compassion and racism.

The book also builds a deeper integrity out of echoes and motifs, like a piece of music. The phrase “all that caper”, a particular corner of a Birmingham pub, a yellow cravat, a line of Latin verse, the sound of laughter in a school playground – all set off chains of associations that ripple throughout the novel. A piece of casual homophobia will be recalled decades later by a son trying to come to terms with his sexual orientation.

Subtle, considered, but not programmatic, Coe doesn’t stick to any consistent aesthetic principle. He uses omniscient narration for some sections, first-person narration for others. There are bits in the past tense, bits in the present tense, chunks of news reports, extracts from a diary, a long reminiscence by a recurring character from one of his other novels. None of this sophistication makes the book less pleasurable – quite the reverse. It combines a welcoming accessibility with a box of clever narrative tricks.

It struck me that there is something hopefully British about the book’s flexible approach to narrative. There’s no theoretical doctrine underlying it. The decisions are made, moment by moment, on the basis of what works, what is clear, what is engaging, and what best serves the story. In the end, while the novel can’t explicitly allay Ludwig’s disquiet, its compassionate and undogmatic approach to its characters and craft embodies a set of values that give some grounds for optimism.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[1d1195]

Hi Sam!! I feel like it’s been FOREVER since I’ve talked to you even though I think it’s been just a couple of days 😭 I’ll explain in another ask bc it’s gonna be another long ramble lol btw I don’t feel any pressure responding back so don’t worry! I WANT to chat always!

ANYWAYS so I have just finished reading part two and three of honey and bestie IM OBSESSED!!! FOAMING AT THE MOUTH FOR CEORRY!! I need him badly like idc when will it be me?!? Anyways LOVED seeing jealous Harry it’s so hilarious when it’s with Niall like I love their banter! But ngl I love seeing Harry spiral over another guy 🤭 but also fuck the guy the MC went on a date with bc that’s so not cool!!! Also the MC is just so perfect like she so good with Cece my heart hurts from how cute it is! Now that little dream that Harry had was WILD and I didn’t expect that lol AHH loved part two!

Now part three omg! The drama of it all omg! LOVED IT! The fact that they ended in the hospital and the way Harry talked to her… she’s braver than me bc I would absolutely start crying! And then I would just be so angry bc I’m stubborn and will simply not let a man talk to me like that 😁 BUT this is ceorry so he gets a pass bc i need him badly🙄 plus I would be terrified if my child was in that position! But omg don’t get me started on her catching him basically looking so lovesick and gone for her 😭 Anyways ugh omg she’s just so perfect omg and I kinda loved that Harry was missing her a bit when she was away! And bestie you know loved that Harry had to suffer a bit hearing Niall’s convo her her🤭

Ahhh LOVED PART THREE! Also so loving this slow burn effect on this story, I’m obsessed! You’re so amazing!

Btw can’t believe I missed two polls for honey😭 bestie my vote would have been for a cliffhanger bc I love the suspense!!

The way academic rivals MC will be grumpy… IM GONNA EAT IT UP!! And I’m so excited to see exactly what you’ve been hinting at for future stories!

Grocery shopping is a personal hell sometimes lol I guess the best way to describe it is that it can get a bit overwhelming/overstimulating depending on how crowded and the overall vibe of the store I’m in. Some days I can handle it better than others lol I’m sure everyone was so over being stuck inside during Covid so I don’t blame lol I actually prefer doing dishes but I do agree baking is definitely preferred than cooking!

I never was classified as “gifted” through exams bc I literally have terrible test anxiety that I don’t do well lol BUT I was definitely always considered a higher performing student even though test like that didn’t technically show it. And bestie you’re so smart like you don’t even know!!!(Also I have beef with standardized test like that but tbh that’s a whole other topic lol) but knowing how much of a hard worker you are it makes sense that you’re sadly going through some sort of burn out. I’ve realized it happens more often and sometimes it’s really hard to get out of. Lowkey I’ve been so burned out since I was like 18 ish and have been just trying to barely function lol. So I can totally get how frustrating all of this may feel!

I can assure you that people do care about what you write! And I’m being honest when I say if you ever choose to publish whether it be through self publishing or traditional, you absolutely have the potential to succeed in that! Bestie I swear the stories that you put out already exceed works that are already published! And you’ve mentioned how you want to indulge in longer stories(I support it!) so I feel like if you find a story line you like or even revamping a current one you’ll be amazing! I know engagement is so weird rn bc the culture has kinda changed. As well as how some people view writers and stuff which sucks. But you are so loved and so are your stories! But always do what’s best honestly!

Alsoooo hope your first week back teaching went amazing! You know that I’m sending you love!!!-💜

OH MA'AM I'm ALWAYS going to answer all your asks no matter the length! I was thinking our communication was a little delayed! No worries at all (I'll address why and such in the other ask too!)

FOAMING AT THE MOUTH. Same. I think Niall's harmless towards Harry (in all my stories) it's why I enjoy it so much. I know you weren't a huge 1D fan but there's this clip of an interview or something when they're in a car and basically Niall's like "Ireland is the best city in the world" and Harry goes "No." and then looks out the window wistfully. 😭 So I've just been riding that banter for my whole life it seems. I love an overprotective man 😍 one of my favorite tropes. "Touch her and die" = me swooning. YES. Idk I thought the dream was cute hehehe

I WOULD HAVE SOBBED. My alternate timeline for this story would be that one scene and she just has a full blown sob-fest and begs Harry to keep her job and then he feels like an ASS and probably asks her to marry him right there (and then Honey is done half way through part 3) HAHAHAHA He's so lovesick, so gone. He's fucked. I love making Harry suffer 😈 I'm glad you like the slow burn 💕 and that's good to know about your votes regardless. I didn't mean to do the second one, but I thought it was worth asking! I know you don't mind the suspense!

YES I do LOVE a grumpy male lead, but as a stubborn female STEM student, I think she has WAY more cause to be grumpy than him. I haven't hinted at many of the future ones, but def one of them. Probs been like six months though. Hopefully it'll make sense when it comes around hehehe

NO grocery shopping is absolutely overwhelming. I'm just INSANE. In New England we have Market Basket and if you haven't been there good for you. Best grocery prices in the world but there are SO many people there all the time and someone is ALWAYS in my way. Doesn't matter what time of day. If I didn't want to save $ i wouldn't go.

Test anxiety is the worst! I watch so many of my students struggle with it. I got nervous over some tests but I was fortunate that I didn't get too overwhelmed (shocking, tbh, something had to give I guess). I'm always trying to think of strategies to help my students with it. I also did a whole research proposal on math/test anxiety in grad school. The "experts" recommend journaling before an exam (but you gotta be kind to yourself and manifest that you'll do well) which was NOT for me because I was like "I'm confident" i'm not going to do well. My AP Bio tests?! Holy cow. DAMN. Those were a bitch.

Not to sound like 100 years old, but when I was in college I remember by the time I was in grad school I was like "holy shit this is endless" I was exhausted. No reading, no writing. Nothing. It was just endless school assignments and work. BUT now I have TIME to do things I like so I actually think my burn out is entirely 'better' than the one I had in college. Not sure if that's hopeful for you or not.

You are the best and sweetest 💕

Work was good! I'm cautiously optimistic at the moment but trying not to jinx it nor get my expectations too high.

Lots of love for you too 💕

xoxo

[ambersock]

First Lines Game

Rules: share the first lines of up to ten of your most recent fanfics and tag up to ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

tagged by @yourmadnesswon <3 <3

Chrysalis

The thin, jagged crack of light hovers undulating in the air in a beckoning dance, promising sanctuary on the other side. 

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc

Sam waits, kneeling, for his execution.

He watches Dean pull the scythe back for the fatal strike and closes his eyes, half out of dread, half out of mercy.

Make All of My Nightmares Come True

Kearney, Missouri is miles behind them, and a chasm still fills the space between Dean, behind the wheel, and Sam, pretending to try to sleep on the passenger side. Sam is supposed to be getting some shut-eye so he can take over driving in a few hours, but he’s still wound up and sleep won’t come despite the soft rock Dean put on.

Your own brother trying to kill you will do that.

Threshold

He’s standing at the threshold, but he can’t quite seem to make himself go any further. The double doors in front of him challenge him, judging, questioning, repudiating his worthiness. It’s difficult to find the will within himself to move forward, but going back is not an option. Not anymore.

Enemy Within

Bobby and Sam pull into the drive that leads to the burned-out shell that was once Bobby’s home. The place where Sam and Dean could once turn to when they needed to regroup and lick their wounds. The place that once was the only occasional island of stability Sam knew other than the Impala.

With ice cold hands takin’ hold of me

“I think you’ll want to see this for yourself.”

He doesn’t, as a rule, concern Himself with individuals; they are not in and of themselves important to the whole of the species. They are molecules of water compared to the tide, necessary, providing a medium to shape a pattern, but one more or less has little impact in the grander scheme.

Taking Care of Business

He’s just settled in with a glass of Craig and The Drama of the Gifted Child when the King of Hell is interrupted by the irritating sound of a throat being cleared. He shuts his eyes and pushes aside the urge to disintegrate the offender. There is a delicate balance between instilling the correct level of fear and retaining enough staff to run a functioning court.

Penny for your Thoughts

In retrospect, Garth should’ve known better. 20-20 hindsight is a harsh mistress.

He should’ve known that the automatic fight-or-flight reaction causes muscles to tense, not relax. He should’ve stepped in front of Dean again, blocked his line of fire. He should’ve made sure that the gun was pointed away from Sam before he threw the punch.

Convergence

Bright dim bright dim bright dim

We need bait that fits the demo… Chain around neck choking… I don’t think I want it back…

Filet of Soul

Sam glances across the Impala to the passenger seat to Dean, who has finally conked out, leaving Sam alone with his thoughts in the aftermath of nearly losing him to an Amazon.

“Now isn’t that ironic. And here you thought we were the unstable one.”

Almost alone.

No-pressure tags, just including some folks who I know are writers and might enjoy participating. Apologies to anyone I didn't tag because I can't keep different Tumblr/AO3 handles straight; please consider yourself tagged!

@wilsonthemoose @adirotynd @a-wondrous-thing @petrichorsam @quickreaver @themegalosaurus @trials-era-sam @tigerlilynoh

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e5 advanced thanatology (w. steve yockey)

givin a little side eye to the pre-episode recap but okay let's go. montage of the boys dying and misery, killing Death (for sammy 🥺) and billie (are they gonna finally do something with the ~consequences~?). and sadly comical that it doesn't even cover all their deaths

giving horror game vibes. plague mask so drama

strawberry jelly??? can't remember last time seeing strawberry in jelly not jam form and i do spend a long time staring at jams

SAM PB&J for breakfast? Strong work. DEAN Yep. SAM You want a beer with that? DEAN I’m cool? SAM Come on, live a little. Here. [Places bottle of beer from fridge in front of Dean] DEAN What’s going on with you? SAM What do you mean? [Awkward pause] Anyway, check this out. I think I found something.

lol me thinking, is he possessed? why's he acting so weird

SAM Yeah. So I thought we’d check it out, you and me. DEAN What about Jack? SAM He’s uh, he’s catching up on all of my old fantasy DVDs – Red Sonja, Beastmaster, uh, Beastmaster II – you know, with the time traveling ferrets. DEAN Yeah. Wow, how you ever got laid, I’ll never know. SAM Yeah, tell me about it.

sam, you're acting extra weird

SAM So I was thinking we’d leave Jack behind. DEAN Really? SAM Yeah. We’ll put up some extra warding. He’ll be fine. I mean, when’s the last time we worked a case, just you and me? DEAN It’s been a while. SAM Exactly. So?

🧐samuel seriously, what are you doing? you been reading some relationship advice book in addition to your gifted child book? is this how you take dean's line "I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing." and put it into action? being weirdly copasectic and offer what you think dean wants? is cas gonna interrupt their "we time" lol (i reread my recap of 10x04 today)

always good to see dean with his soft touch with kids. (hmm makes me think about how sam usually doesn't take the lead with kids and, and now he's doing it for maybe the first time with jack? huh -- editing to say, sam had some good dad moments with kevin too!)

but also the point of the dean picture is the weaponized eye crinkles from jackles. that thing reminded me so much of george clooney in ER - i imagine he does it in other stuff but that bit here just had me like oh that's such a dr ross move. serious convo, a little bittersweet half smile but full eye crinkle, back to serious face. pretty sure jackles uses it regularly too (maybe not this particular scenario usually) but for some reason it just popped out to me today

aha, so this is where the sam trying to convince the stripper to go to nursing school during a lapdance conversation happens. makes more sense now what with the context of the wacky behavior from sam

DEAN Dude the last lap dance you had – was – was at Christmas. It was a gift paid for by me. You spent the entire song trying to convince the girl that she should go to nursing school. So what is it? Is it my birthday? Did – did I win a bet that I don’t know about? What? SAM No, nothing. Nothing. I – I mean, I’m just trying to be nice. DEAN Why? SAM Because… you know why. DEAN I’m fine. SAM No, you’re not, Dean. You said you don’t believe in anything and – and that’s… that’s not true. That’s not you. You – you – you do believe in things. You believe in people. That’s who you are. That’s what you do. I know you’re in a dark place, and I-I just want to help. DEAN Okay. Look, I-I’ve been down this road before and I fought my way back. I will fight my way back again. SAM How? DEAN Same way I always do – bullets, bacon, and booze. A lotta booze.

sam, sam, sam. if you're so bizarro out of character nice, dean can't appreciate it because you're acting like a mandroid! gotta sprinkle it in with the bitching and standard little brother behavior. ALSO, calling dean out on saying that he didn't believe in anything is surefire way to get him to a) shut down b) regret telling you the truth and not wanna do it in the future. i'm blaming this one on the writers, i think sam has more emotional intelligence than to do something this clumsy. AND it's like it's all being played for the joke, not a fan

i mean, how did sam not wake up to dean coming in so clearly plastered that he passed out on the floor still tangled up in accessories from the (presumed) strip club. and did he walk home? the perpetual dean drunk driving dilemma. what we get for sam pushing him, right. well the keys on the nightstand maybe were indicating he didn't drive? i'll give them the out on that one

anyway it's all for the jokes so i shouldn't take it seriously 🤪 on day 2 watching this episode and i'm awfully grouchy. not in the mood for them being "funny" i guess.

interesting the production draft of the script didn't lean into the joke (linked on the wiki per usual)

DEAN Easy. One needle stops the heart, the other one starts it up again. SAM No, no, no. DEAN Look, we can’t talk to ‘em on this side of the Veil, so I’m gonna go to the other side. I’m gonna work my way through all these Caspers until we find out where this freak hid the bodies. SAM Dean, you’re talking about killing yourself. DEAN Yeah? Well, it worked before. SAM That’s an insane risk to take. DEAN Listen, I need three minutes. Okay?

risking dying for good for this random hunt? when they could just like. go about this another way. find the kids. even peak self destructive dean winchester doesn't makes this risky of decisions. and i gather this is where the reaper/billie business comes

(i was wondering about the logistics of how ghost plague mask dude got the kid out of the house, so i do appreciate sorta this flashback but i'm pretty bummed they couldn't save the kid)

chest compressions, chest compressions, chest compressions

do we have a count of the number of times sam has had to watch dean die. with mystery spot jackin up the numbers, must be huge

i mean. cool fit and all. and lovely makeup

BILLIE It’s funny to hear a Winchester talk about the finality of dying. This reality – it has rules, Dean. So many rules. And one of them? Kill one incarnation of Death, like you did, the next Reaper to dies takes his place.

tough but fair on that finality of dying bit. reaper -> Death logic, ok sure whatever

i like that billie is getting to be less flat and not "all winchesters must die", that she can appreciate their place in the overall scheme of things. and this is a really good and depressing scene between her and dean. it's a shame they made such a ridiculous episode to get us here

DEAN Why do you care? BILLIE Because I do. Because…this whole multi-versal quantum construct we live in, it’s like a house of cards. And the last thing I need is some big, dumb Winchester knocking it all down. DEAN Hmm. That does sound like us. BILLIE You’ve changed. When you bargained with me just now, you could’ve asked to go back, to live. DEAN Well, I figured with you in charge, there’s no getting back for me. BILLIE That doesn’t sound like the Dean Winchester I know and love. The man who has been dead so many times but it never seems to stick. Maybe you’re not that guy anymore, they guy who saves the world, the guy who always thinks he’ll win no matter what. You have changed. And you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it but you know you won’t, you can’t and that scares the hell out of you. Or… am I wrong? DEAN What do you want me to say? Doesn’t matter. I don’t matter. BILLIE Don’t you? DEAN I couldn’t save Mom. I couldn’t save Cas. I can’t even save a scared little kid. Sam keeps trying to fix it, but I just keep dragging him down. So I’m not going to beg. Okay, if it’s my time, it’s my time. BILLIE You really believe that. You wanna die.

trying to remember a time when he's been suicidal (feels like at least a handful at this point) but also in the position to actually die imminently. shades of when sam was ready to go but dean forced gadreel on him. but dean is coming from a distinctly suicidal place, of thinking he's useless and sam would be better off without him. which will always push my distress buttons, hard.

s13e5 / loki s1e2 the variant

this set gives me vibes a little bit of the loki series? tva library area

(i like that she's a little thicker than average tv actors and they don't cover her up, especially her arms)

the music is, dare i say it, appropriate?? for this conversations and the set and everything. once we get past the emotional music of dean wanting to die, it gets.. better. adds some urgency and intrigue. and even the emotional music was pretty good and unobtrusive

DEAN We can talk about it later. SAM We won’t talk about it later. You know that.

hurray for sam pushing the issue and dean acquiescing

SAM You okay? DEAN No. Sam, I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay. You know, my whole life, I always believed that what we do was important. No matter what the cost, no matter who we lost, whether it was Dad or – or Bobby or –. And I would take the hit. But I kept on fighting because I believed that we were making the world a better place. And now Mom and Cas… And I – I don’t know. I don’t know. SAM So now you don’t believe anymore. DEAN I just need a win. I just need a damn win.

interesting that it changed from us to dean

with this song (it's never too late by steppenwolf), the neon cross, the beauty shots of baby, the reflection of the cross on the window, the lyrics... the music pounding through with no foley/background noises. it's really effective. mourning the fact that i don't appreciate this reunion like i'm sure a lot of people did

no hug? even i was like, really? we skippin it or dragging it out to the next episode? i mean, it works in the scene they set up here without one. but also, dean is unmoored and needs a win and we're building this to be that win, right? so.

you know what. if i knew this i completely blanked it out, but there was more than one composer on this show! this episode was a christopher lennertz one. i was assigning all blame to jay gruska. now i wonder though, of all the (many) times i've bitched about the score, who was at the helm. 😬 project for another day when i'm itching to get out of my skull because i have nothing to work on

via the wiki

Billie taking on Death's mantle is a slight twist on the plot to the 1983 fantasy novel On a Pale Horse, in which the main character, Zane, kills Death and is forced to take the mantle on himself.

interesting, i recall really liking that book but it's been.. 20+ years since i've read it

[cpopnatural]

13x3 Notes

-oh we’re reentering our violence against women SPN arc :(

-Dean headphones in listening to music :((((

-YOU HAVE AN ANGEL WATCHING OVER YOU

-at least when Cas is dead this time he haunts the narrative

-Missouri has such cool fucking powers…Missouri spinoff please

-BUCKHEAD GEORGIA

-GEORGIA MENTIONED LET’S GOOOOOO

-Sam and Jack this episode doing the equivalent of when you were a kid doing math homework and your dad’s like yelling at you

-most baffling death in a while

-okay this episode kinda creepy

-THE DRAMA OF THE GIFTED CHILD

-please Sam and Cas are so funny. Reading parenting books for the Antichrist

-Sam and Jack sharing “did I get my mother killed” trauma………

-not the dead moms again…

-not the cut to Dean….not the cut to Dean…..stop cutting to Dean!!!!!!

-ohhhhhhhh

-where the fuck is he keeping her. Under the fucking MARTA

-do not fucking smell her you creep

-they don’t need the flashback we saw this like two minutes ago

-Americana Jay Gruska………

-It’s literally just the grief talking……….

-not freak…

-NO DO NOT TWIST CAS’ WORDS LIKE THIS

-NOOOOOO DEAN

-what is this Kitchen Nightmares ass cinematography

-Jack calling out to Cas……..

-okay the sound design here in the Empty does go hard

-the “Starring Misha Collins” at the end

This episode was actually really good. The conflict and stakes of the case, while being obvious parallels, do have emotional weight and are interesting on their own. The actors who play James and Missouri really sell it imo. The moments between Jack and Sam are just sweet and it’s cool to see them tie back to Sam lore in a meaningful way. The fight at the very end was so refreshing because they’re arguing over something new that highlights their differences instead of treading the same boring stuff. Alexander Calvert is great as Jack and he really adds to this ep. Bonus points for Georgia mentioned 9/10

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Pink Gift Boxes

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/MeGJFih by Whistle_Mist The murders always happened on the victim's birthdays. Dean notices that his coworker, Castiel's brother, always seemed to have some kind of reaction when murders occur. Stressed out Cas always had a bright pink hideous gift box for his co-workers. Words: 3439, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Lucifer (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural), Raphael (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Adam Milligan Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel & Lucifer (Supernatural) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Murder Mystery, Past Child Abuse, Religious Cults, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Family Drama, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Co-workers read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/MeGJFih

[ao3feed-stevebucky]

Brooklyn On My Mind

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/P9KNyb4

by WantedKilljoy21

A estrada que Bucky e Steve percorrem para trazer seu segundo bebê ao mundo tem mais obstáculos do que eles possam prever. Especialmente quando uma nova ameaça surge de dentro do próprio governo americano.

Words: 2152, Chapters: 1/?, Language: Português brasileiro

Series: Part 2 of 'Till The End Of The Line

Fandoms: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Sharon Carter (Marvel), Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Scott Lang, John Walker (Marvel), Nick Fury, Thaddeus Ross, T'Challa (Marvel), Shuri (Marvel), Ayo (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Original Child Character(s)

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Sharon Carter & Sam Wilson, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Medical Procedures, Gun Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Top Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Mpreg, Childbirth, Mentions Of Miscarrige, difficult birth, Action/Adventure, Family Feels, graphic birth, Male Lactation, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Whump, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Dark John Walker (Marvel)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/P9KNyb4

[shallowseeker]

I always thought it was a few months between 13.04 and 13.05, like enough time for Jack to get settled into the bunker and practice moving the pencil.

I mean, sure, it's possible. But that would also mean that Cas wakes up in the field at the end of 13x04 and goes a few months before meeting up with Sam and Dean in 13x05??? Which doesn't make sense to me. I think it was a matter of days, which still keeps the overall separation pretty damn short.

I think(?) too that Cas wakes in a field of blackberries, which is typically a summer-bearing fruit, which makes early June very plausible (not that SPN does great with seasons and sense of time, lol).

As for Jack's powers, I think that the pencil practice happened during the couple of days Sam and Dean were on the 13x05 case. Jack is a gifted, precocious being. I mean, Sam was reading The Drama of the Gifted Child re:Jack in 13x03. It's not weird to me to imagine Jack picking up mastery incredibly quickly, especially after he feels more accepted into the fold. And then, he's super eager to show off and impress Cas and kills a man by accident. Sigh...

[justagirlinafandomworld]

Books Read in 2022

I'm pretty happy that I was able to delve back into reading this year. And since I'm so excited,I've decided to share these books and their summaries because I know how important those are when deciding whether or not you want to pick up a new book.

The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson

On a dark road in the middle of the night, a car plunges into a ravine. The driver survives the crash, but his injuries confine him to a hospital burn unit. There the mysterious Marianne Engel, a sculptress of grotesques, enters his life. She insists they were lovers in medieval Germany, when he was a mercenary and she was a scribe in the monastery of Engelthal. As she spins the story of their past lives together, the man's disbelief falthers; soon, even the impossible can no longer be dismissed.

516 pages. Finished Reading 5/5/2022

Captivating, Pretty Violent: ⭐⭐1/2

I actually had to take a break from reading after finishing this one. It was a lot for the ending that was given.

Naamah's Kiss by Jacqueline Carey

A child of the Maghuin Dhonn, the folk of the Brown Bear, Moirin is raised in the wilderness of Alba by her reclusive mother. Only when she comes of age does she discover her own illustrious - and mixed - heritage: descended from Alais the Wise, princess of both Terre d'Ange and Alba, Moirin is also the daughter of a D'Angeline priest dedicated to serving Naamah, goddess of desire.

After undergoing the Maghuin Dhonn rites of adulthood, Moirin finds divine acceptance...provided she fulfills a mysterious fate that lies across the oceans. Beyond Terre d'Ange, in the far reaches of distant Ch'in, she will need to survive the vengeful plans of an ambitious mage, and aid both a noble warrior-princess desperate to save her father's throne and the spirit of a celestial dragon.

Finished Reading 9/20/2022.

Captivating, World Building is Fantastic, It's got Love and Adventure by the bucket loads: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The only reason it is not included in the stack is because I pushed it onto a bff to read; I just want to talk about it okay. Renewed my love for reading.

Still Me by Jojo Moyes

Louisa Clark arrives in New York ready to start a new life, confident that she can embrace this new adventure and keep her relationship with Ambulance Sam alive across several thousand miles. But as she steps into the world of the superrich, Lou soon finds herself torn between Fifth Avenue where she works and the treasure-filled vintage clothing store where she actually feels at home. When matters come to a head, she has to ask herself: How do you find the courage to follow your heart - wherever that may lead?

Funny, romantic, and poignant, Still Me follows Lou as she discovers who she is and who she was always meant to be - and to live boldly in her brave new world.

388 pages. Finished Reading 10/3/2022

Cute and Fun with Drama to spare: ⭐⭐⭐1/2

This had me in tears at one point, and everything that followed after was bittersweet.

The Girl in the Tower by Katherine Arden

Book Two of the Winternight Trilogy

Vasilisa's gift for seeing what others do not won her the attention of Morozko, the winter-king, and together they saved her people from destruction. But her victory is short-lived: The villagers have condemned her as a witch and she is faced with a choice between marriage and the convent. She cannot bring herself to accept either fate and instead chooses adventure, dressing herself as a boy and setting off astride her magnificent stallion.

After Vasya prevails in a skirmish with bandits, the Grand Prince of Moscow anoints her a hero for her bravery. But she dares not reveal to the court that she is a girl, for if her deception were to be discovered it would have terrible consequences for Vasya and her family. Before she can untangle herself from Moscow's intrigues - and as Morozko provides counsel that may or may not be trustworthy - Vasya will confront an even graver threat lying in wait for all of Moscow itself.

346 pages. Finished Reading 11/3/2022

Beautiful Storytelling, In Love with this Fairy-Like Tale: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

My fandom bias takes part in this as I can't help but to envision Loki as Morozko.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

Four seekers have arrived at the rambling old pile known as Hill House: Dr. Montague, an occult scholar looking for solid evidence of psychic phenomena; Theodora, his lovely and lighthearted assistant; Luke, the adventurous future inheritor of the estate; and Eleanor, a friendless, fragile young woman with a dark past. As they begin to cope with chilling, even horrifying occurrences beyond their control or understanding, they cannot possibly know what lies ahead. For Hill House is gathering its powers - and soon it will choose one of them to make its own.

233 pages. Finished Reading 11/19/2022

Haunting, Intriguing: ⭐⭐⭐

My imagination mashed up both The Haunting (1999) and the Netflix series while reading this, so I had a good time. Personally, preferred the Netflix version of the story.

Love Bites by Angela Knight

Three stories of dark hunger

Morgana le Fay finally gets what's coming to her in this novel-length story. After a figth wit ha dragon goes wrong, Morgan takes an Oath of Service to Percival, vampire Knight of the Round Table. Percival and his partners, Cador and Marrok, decide to give Morgana a taste of bondage and submission she'll never forget. What they don't know is that the lovely witch is keeping secrets that could destroy them all. To make matters worse, the dragon is plotting a deadly revenge...

In "Be Careful What You Wish For," a beautiful vampire and her two vamp lovers lock horns with a wizard with the ugly habit of refusing to take no for an answer. When he casts a spell on Beau and Decker, Amanda finds herself the object of both men's lust. She's had some yummy threesome fantasies along the same lines, but since the men hate each other, she figured it was never going to happen. But when it does, things get a lot more kinky than Amanda expects.

In "The Bloodslave,"...a female mercenary comes under fire during a hunt. The beautiful, virginal, and very human Verica is captured by three hungry alpha vampires driven deliriously feral by her purity. But they desire more than her warm blood. They want her body, leaving Verica more vulnerable than ever before - and loving every minute of it.

305 pages. Finished Reader 12/4/2022

Threesomes, Foursomes, Vampires and Magic: ⭐⭐1/2

If you're in the mood to get lost in some erotic vampire fantasies, with fiery leading ladies, you can check this out.

Hope this helps in deciding your next read! If you do plan on reading any of these, or if you already have read any one of these, please feel free to let me know! I'd love to talk about them.

Happy Reading Everyone!