#salmon puppet

[darkmagenugget]

A set of Art Fight Attacks. Will be a few more before the month ends.

For: @absentcoder

Lycan Doll For: @queenofwerewolves

Salmon Puppet for: @theunhappysalmon

Twig for: @welldrawnfish

[flurmitcraff]

Joe being completely on board and happy with his log deal with Doc is great because it means one half of the log collective is a self-described supervillain creeper goat man and a blue felt puppet while the other half is a pair of mafiosos who made up a mafia in the first place entirely to annoy Doc.

The best part? The puppet is probably the most savvy out of all of them.

[way2gosuperrstarr]

quick quick quick little art dump

[thepuppetandthedevil]

Today is my birthday. I did some sketches today. And also, happy Pride Day to all the gays and lesbians.

[foggysilverfeathers]

Fake HC 10 dashboard mayhaps??

0 notes

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

Reminder to love yourself! Smell the trees! Everything will be okay in the end 😊 ☀️

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

nvm gem ran out of pickles im depressed again

🐟 gemstone Follow

I RESTOCKED THIS MORNING HOW HAVE YOU ALREADY SOLD ME OUT

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

1,930 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 126 without a mending book

27 notes

🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow

uM hey @.hpo-official could i ask why you havent' received my messages?/? Every calsl Ive made just puts me on holdd

⬜️ hpo-official-948204deactivated

Sorry about that, sir. Admin error. I'll speak to my manager.

🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow

...hELLO?

🌸 joel-beans Follow

lmao they deactivated what a loser

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

Remember there's a person behind every poor worker! I see you bullies in the notes

🐟 gemstone Follow

@/mending-book-fanatic is a hermit permit office spy confirmed??

2,441 notes

🌸 joel-beans Follow

Guys everyone agrees that purpur is cheap and beautiful and godlike and everyone should go buy it right now this second *sweats*

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

I feel like I'm missing something...

🌸 joel-beans Follow

SHE HAS EYES EVERYWHERE BDUBS

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

Joel!

🌸 joel-beans Follow

If I don’t respond within the hour assume she got me

133 notes

🎩 symmetrical-minister Follow

anyone know a good shop for ethically-sourced wood?? i normally shop at big wood but ive heard things about a mafia :/

🪓 big-salmon Follow

That is absolutely NOT true!! If anything you should be targeting the crypto scheme at Big Wood,,

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

aaaand this is why you should never trust businessmen in red suits

🪓 big-salmon Follow

says the one compensating with a massive HOURGLASS of all things

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Actually @.big-salmon Xisuma_voyd made a really well-explained video here going into detail about all of the shady elements of Big Wood, it's worth a watch.

🐟 gemstone Follow

To answer the original question OP here are some safer (privately owned!) shops :)

Gem's Moss Shop (azaleas for sale which can be bonemealed)

Bdub's Bamboo Shop (bamboo wood is a good eco-friendly alternative to your typical spruce or oak)

The Purr-purr bus (if you're okay with having slightly more exotic trees, from the End)

Hope this helped! <3

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

Why would you pay diamonds for less when you could just pay a few grains of sand for the best quality wood in the shopping district? You people confuse me

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

actually the Purr-purr bus isn't ethical at all!! ive heard they blackmail people into giving them sails!!!

🐟 gemstone Follow

*sales

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

SHUDDUP

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

:(

2,750 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 131 without a mending book

34 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 164 without a mending book

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Grian you know you can get free mending books at the cat cafe right

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

it's not the same

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

I need to be able to smell the breath of the sea between its sodden pages

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

continue along the same path and you'll soon be facing villager unions

2,316 notes

🔥 tongo-tak Follow

Friendly reminder that not everyone wakes up at 2am, so please tag your Pearldle spoilers for at least a few hours!!

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

skill issue tbh

1,102 notes

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

hallo how flirt with pretty girl time sensitive question

🌺 git-gorgeous Follow

sell them something

🔥 tongo-tak Follow

bribe diamonds

🐍 puppet-master Follow

kill them

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

okay will do!!!!

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

wait

2,989 notes

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Happy pride month to lgbtqia+ people of all ages, genders and sexualities, you're all so valid and so loved <3 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

🐟 gemstone Follow

<3

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

I'm making a rainbow beacon for pride, come look for it! i'll be with it by my husband @ renthedog's hole all week

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

*HOLE

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

*HOME

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

WAIT I ACCIDENTALLY TAGGED IT

🐾 renthedog Follow

um.

2,655 notes

🌸 joel-beans Follow

etho is just kakashi on maple syrup send post

🌸 joel-beans Follow

almost forgot to add important additional difference! etho is also obsessed with me

1,113 notes

[tadc-harlequin-au]

New Puppet Unlocked: Pomni, the Last Harlequin!

Pomni's character description:

I actually finished this about three days ago, but I didn't wanna post it because I haven't started on the others yet. I eventually decided that fuck it, we ball.

Pomni is the most recent and last model of a Combat Harlequin; P-1210. She doesn't have any remembrance of her life before becoming a Puppet, only the fact that she has an itch in her head that tells her to keep fighting.

After hunting down The Puppetmaster and a duel ensues between the two, it ends with the Harlequin and The Puppetmaster forming an alliance in order to fix the destroyed City.

Now, Pomni spends her time sparring, sharpening her sword, bantering with the Puppetmaster, hunting down bosses and eliminating manic Marionettes.

Fun facts about Pomni:

She likes sandwiches. Specifically, salmon.

She REALLY hates it when someone eats it. (It's Bubble)

She finds some things annoying in other Puppets, and will be blunt about it.

But that doesn't mean she doesn't care. In fact, far from it.

Pomni may come off as cold and jerkish due to her hot-temper, but in reality, her emotions simply have ahold on her more than anyone would ever really think.

Caine thinks that a therapist would benefit her. (honestly though)

She hasn't explored any hobbies outside from anything involving combat.

Pomni occasionally gets glimpses of visions when she dies; she is unaware of what they mean.

Pomni rarely gets drunk; she'll only indulge in alcohol when there's an occasion. Aside from that, she tends to limit Caine's alcohol intake (reasoning that he smells like booze), much to the Puppetmaster's dismay.

She shuts down any form of philosophical advices, thinking they're "typical" and "unnecessary".

She tends to be careless and rude in battle.

When push comes to shove, Pomni can and WILL use her sharp teeth to her advantage.

Pomni initially disliked Ragatha. She found the doll's positive demeanor eerie, and even uncanny, borderline inhuman. Thankfully, a few interactions and heart-heart conversations later, she's changed her mind since.

Bubble usually accompanies her when she's out on missions, a condition she had to agree on just so Caine would let her fight overburdened Puppets. Even though she hates the blimp's nonsense, she knows that his presence is out of necessity, since Bubble is the only way keeping in touch can be possible.

She rarely ever apologizes.

She once stole Caine's cane to try and figure out how his attacks work. She immediately lost interest once she found out it's just a plain, and boring metal cane.

She unlocks the first stage of enlightenment after the first boss.

Battle quotes:

"Yeah, yeah, shut up."

"I didn't come here just for you to act like a wuss!"

"You. Me. This sword. In your head."

"That was pretty stupid of you to do."

"Between you and me, I prefer still having my head on my shoulders."

"This is getting annoying!"

"I've had it with you idiots!"

"I'm gonna celebrate with a Puppet head kebab once I'm done."

"I like the sounds of a sword slashing, and heads bashed in."

"Keep (talking/screaming), and I'll crack your skull open."

Hurt in battle:

"Ah! What the fuck!"

"You're gonna pay for that!"

"Eye for an eye, motherfucker!"

"I normally wouldn't mind... Actually, I always mind."

"When I'm done, you're gonna be unrecognizable."

"Fucking marionettes!"

"Useless scrap!"

"I really, really, REALLY wanna hurt you right about now."

"Ohohoho, you're picking the WRONG fight, BUDDY."

"Asshat!"

"Who do you think you are!?"

Dying:

"This... wasn't supposed to go this way..."

"God.... dammit."

"Agh... fuck."

"That... fucking... hurt."

"I still...! Got fight...! Left in me..."

"This... isn't... over..."

"I'm... not... done..."

[intrawebs]

Common Hermit Species

for anyone who needs it :]

BdoubleO: Glare, Sun god, Phantom

Cubfan: Vex, Bear

Docm77: Creeper, Amalgamation of many things, Goat, Cyborg

Ethoslab: Arctic Fox, Cat, Enderman, Kitsune, Vampire, Eldritch Horror, Voidwalker

FalseSymmetry: Vampire, Vex, Bird/Eagle

Geminitay: Shark, Fish, Deer, Elf, Butterfly

GoodtimeswithScar: Elf, Vex, Cat, Witch

Grian: Bird/Parrot, Eldritch Horror, Watcher, Void creature

Hypnotizd: Shadow creature

iJevin: Slime

ImpulseSV: Demon/Imp, Dwarf, Dragon

Iskall: Cyborg

Joe Hills: Eldritch Horror, Immortal, Puppet, Ghost, Shapeshifter

Keralis: Eldritch Horror

Mumbo: Vampire, Mysteriously Inhuman, Moth, Enderman, Shapeshifter

Pearl: Salmon, Wolf, Bird, Moth, Alien, God, Watcher, Listener

Rendog: Dog, Werewolf

Skizzleman: Angel, Enderman

Smallishbeans: Tanuki, Tiger, Wolf, God

Stressmonster: Glare, Cat, Druid, Bug/Butterfly

Tangotek: Blaze, Vague Nether creature, Demon (he doesn't like this one)

VintageBeef: Cow

Welsknight: Dragon

xBCrafted: Guardian

Xisuma: Android, Voidwalker

Zedaph: Sheep, Eldritch Horror

ZombieCleo: Zombie, Witch, Gorgon

[mothgenes]

HOW STAN BEAT ME "and ANOTHER thing!"

I wasn't sure if anyone had fully copied out the text on this page so I decided to. It's a repeating and somewhat overlapping set of the same paragraph, and I'm pretty sure I got all the words right, this includes all of the typos that were present (because there are some.) I also tried to include punctuation and capitalization correctly. "Ever since that pathetic excuse for a 5-sensed three dimensional one-lifespanned skin puppet was barfed into the universe he was nothing but a carboncopy of a better genetic duplicate, and he knew it! A trillion years from now when I've broken out of this place nd taken over, he'll be remembered as a speed bump under the cement truck of my inevitable triumph, an astersik next to an asterisk next to an asterisk next to an asterisk who would be a joke if he was capable of understanding comedy which he obviously isn't, I mean have you heard the hacky matreial he does on the tourss? I've been inside his dreams, he WORKSHOPS that material, he SLAVES over it, and the best he can doare some puns that would make a third grader cringe and vaudeville routines that were hack before they were even invented! its an insult that he's allowed to wear a suit and tie, he should be in a BARREL with SUSPENDERS!" Obviously in addition there are the bigger exclamations which I'll still repeat here: Hack Jokes, Co-dependant, self pitying, couldnt win local election, stupid, "fully clothed women", tacky, smug, sas-crotch, cliche dreams, "singin salmon", and "Unworthy!". Ending with "and thats the final word!" of course! Original image under the cut! I hope this was useful for someone else, I know I personally hadn't read this in full until I did this.

[opal-owl-flight]

Hey uh. Does that Inkling look weird to you?

Oh. Thats why.

Imagine. Youre a salmon running group. You see another group in the distance, running around some rocks and picking up golden eggs. They call to you, wanting to pass the eggs to your basket. So you come closer. The first of the group wades into the water, offering one of the eggs....

...with a smile thats reaching her eyes...

Too late. The "others" in her group have grabbed the rest of your team. Glass eyes and rubber tentacles. Dragged into open maws that surfaced from the deep.

---------

AND THE HEADS ALL TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHERS LIKE SISTERS :)

Youll see one of the heads braiding another heads' "hair", usually. While the middle head tinkers with one of the puppets.

Sometimes the middle head goes and picks beaks and ragged clothes/hardhats from her sisters' teeth. Like one of those cleaner fish

For a so called monster, shes well-groomed. Makes sure her scales are all shiny and clean and the middle head dressed all nice and neat :)

"Scylla" btw is what the Inkfish call her. Inspired from legends of antiquity. Her salmonid title is likely smth else.

--------

EPIC THE MUSICAL BRAINROT. I HAD TO DRAW SALMON SCYLLA. SHES MY FAVORITE SALMONID OC NOW. HOLY SHIT

[were-changing-cake-vaults]

Doc is really, really, really tired of getting dragged into things.

That’s the problem with this server: he tries to do his own thing, but people cannot leave him alone. No matter what he does to deter them, whether that be harmless threat or psychological warfare, they always come back to dance on his metaphorical lawn. Or actual lawn. Or precious one-of-a-kind bush.

And at this point, he thought he had gotten used to all the shenanigans. He doesn’t want to be the grumpy old man amongst his friends and colleagues, so Doc tries to laugh it off, not take it so seriously. Occasionally, he’ll even join in on the jokes and put a little extra pizzazz into his mannerisms. Doc has his limits, of course, everyone does, but he’s been working on pushing those limits further for the past while.

So when Beef makes the joke about Big Salmon on day one, he joins in on it for the moment. It’s a good joke, really. It gets a hearty laugh out of him more than once. The joke is made, people laugh, Doc is included, he moves on and goes back to doing his own thing.

Honestly, he doesn’t even remember what he said. The joke should’ve been a one-and-done, forgotten after a week’s time. Whatever he said should’ve been inconsequential. Should be. Beef’s not one to drag out a bit for that long, usually, but here he is, dressed as a salmon and saying he got emails from a fish. Doc is utterly clueless throughout most of it- he doesn’t even understand what constituted him getting dragged in this time. And the way Beef and Skizz are talking is scaring him, just a little bit. Skizz is too aggressive, Beef is laying down the charmspeak, and both of their eyes are glossy and strange. There’s a hollow echo in the room.

But Doc, absurd as this is, plays along. Watches as one of his villagers gets killed. Lets nervous laughter through as he’s given 10 salmon heads, and leaves. When he gets back to his base out in the middle of nowhere, he realizes that these aren’t normal salmon heads, they’re worse: deformed, many-eyed, slimy and reeking of rot. And while this isn’t the strangest thing Doc has seen, as far as he knows, Beef isn’t one for game-breaking like he is. The deformities on the heads don’t even look player made. Whatever this is, it’s bizaarre, and it’s not something Doc wants to be involved in.

Then the whispers start.

He doesn’t do what he’s asked—build a shrine for whatever Big Salmon is—initially. He lets it be for a bit, shrugs it off, and keeps building. But it’s hard to focus when you can’t sleep—in his dreams he’s drowning, sinking deeper and deeper, sea life surrounding him and screaming and he’s screaming too as a pair of eyes stare him down—and when you can’t get a moment of quiet. He keeps hearing that damn slapping sound and little nothings about shrine schematics, block pallets, glorious statues. The air starts reeking of rot, far more than a swamp should. Strange slime crawls up the scaffolding that he keeps slipping on.

And this is why Doc is tired: Big Salmon is not his first rodeo. This isn’t the first time something has grabbed hold of his soul and tried to puppeteer it to his own demise. This isn’t even the scariest thing he’s come across- he still dreams of watching himself rip his own arm off. He knows gods and entities like he knows redstone, all the intricacies of magic that weave through the universe. They want to be satisfied, satiated. Doc will not give whatever Big Salmon is that satisfaction, not for long.

So he puts up with the rot, the slime, the dreams. Keeps the salmon heads, perpetually grotesque, in a chest where he can see them. Gives them a minuscule in: blueprints are crafted of the shrine he is meant to build, dying leaves are placed and waterlogged, copper is bent and formed into a worthless statue. The sky is cloudy. The sky has been cloudy all week, swamp air thick with the smell of rotting fish. He gives Beef a call, tells him to bring Skizz along.

When what should be Doc’s friend arrives, he is more fish than man. The tinnitus-like whisper of the thing trying to get him reaches a roar as he gives Beef a look over- there is no telling where the suit ends and the skin begins, all scaled, slimy and opalescent. Skizz, on the contrary, is looking relatively normal; the only strange thing about him are his glazed over eyes. Something about that makes Doc queasy about his plan, but he swallows the bile rising in his throat and steels himself, forces himself to be calm. This is not his first rodeo.

Doc’s faked smile doesn’t fail him as he leads Beef and Skizz to the statue. It doesn’t fail him as he hands the last rotting head to Beef for him to place, on top of an over-polished button. His grin only widens as Skizz counts down his boss pressing the button.

With a single button press, the voices that have taken residence in Doc’s head are wiped out, as are Skizz and Beef: bloody…fish…bits fly high into the sky when they fall into the exploding trap. There is a deafening boom, and then there is Doc, unscathed, laughing wickedly, organic eye sparkling with mania. Gods never win against him. There is no winning against the goat.

And finally, with the threat of Big Salmon defeated, Doc can finally rest. After all, he is incredibly tired.

[thescarletnargacuga]

The events leading up to Cade? Hurt/Comfort, near death experience. The relief. The happiness.

A/N:ooooooh here we go! ✍️

SOUL BEARER

A HARLEQUIN SHOWTIME ONESHOT

WARNING: rough pregnancy, hurt/comfort

~~~

The first sign Caine had that Pomni wasn't herself was how exhausted she seemed after a simple retrieval mission of a charm. She didn't fight any bosses or even leave the City of Circuits, and yet she was dead on her feet. Naturally, she denied any assistance or examination. She's fine. Stop worrying.

Caine did not stop worrying. Pomni was sleeping later and later into the day without pulling all nighters. He had Bubble prepare a salmon sandwich for her. Maybe it would help her feel better. When Caine checked on her later, she barely touched it, and she was bent out the window throwing up into the bushes below.

"Pomni, my dear, please tell me what's going on. I've never seen a puppet get so violently physically ill like this, not without heavy binge drinking, but that's beside the point." Caine held her hair out of her face as she finished ejecting the contents of her pseudo digestive tract.

Pomni wiped away black bile dripping down her chin. "I'm...fine. Just...bad fish."

Caine didn't believe that for a second, but he wasn't to the point of forcing her to the workshop for an evaluation. "You can tell me if you're not okay, Pomni. Do you remember what I told you?"

Pomni ran her hand through her hair, her head was throbbing and her chest felt heavy. "...that you love me."

"Exactly. Through sickness and through health. I'm here for you. Please don't hide it from me. Let me care about you." Caine guided her back to bed and did a visual examination as he tucked her back in. Aside from the signs of exhaustion, she seemed healthy. Maybe he's pushed her too far with the amount of missions, but this is the first time he's ever seen her run out of steam.

Caine kissed her forehead and left her to rest. He has Bubble stay outside her room under orders that if she needs anything, to contact him immediately. He spent the next few days pouring through his notes on puppet physiology. How the internal flesh reacts to different physical and mental stressors. Nothing was adding up. Whatever was happening was new, and that scared him.

~

Pomni's health continued to decline. She tried to force herself out of bed out of boredom, but the extreme exhaustion would force her down every time. Caine couldn't take it anymore. He carried her down to the workshop and laid her on the examination table. Her letting him take her without so much as a grunt of protest out urgency in his step.

The first thing he did was open her chest to check her heart. Her internal flesh that sprouted from her D.I.E had almost completely retracted back. The fleshy vines were thin and brittle, starved of energy. Caine's hands trembled as he opened her heart, exposing the D.I.E that contained her soul.

Pomni was barely conscious on the table beneath him. She had just enough energy to lift her hand and grab his shirt, getting his attention. "I love you..." She said weakly and passed out.

Caine's eyes widened and he cradled her face. "Pomni? Pomni??" Now he feared he waited too long. He went back to her D.I.E. It's glow was very faint. He carefully extracted it from her heart, her body going dead still.

He focused energy into his palm, giving her soul a taste of his own. "There you go. Drink up. You poor thing. What is happening to you?" The more he interacted with her soul, the more he could tell what was off about it. The energy he was giving her was being syphoned elsewhere. He followed the flow of energy to a second presence within the D.I.E. "What in the world?"

Her type of D.I.E was designed to house only one soul. The presence of a second led him to the conclusion that Pomni's soul was fragmenting itself. He got a blank D.I.E and proceeded to extract the secondary soul. Afterwards, the larger fragment of Pomni's soul came back to it's original glow thanks to him feeding it his own energy.

The secondary soul flickered softly in his other hand, like low candle light. His energy examined it curiously. It felt like Pomni, but also...not? It was strange. "Where did you come from, little one?" The small soul reacted positively to his presence, like it recognized him.

Caine held the secondary soul right in his palm as he returned Pomni's D.I.E to her body. It took a few minutes, but Pomni opened her eyes. She sat up slowly, Caine helping her up. "Fuck...that was awful. For a second, I thought-..." She turned and embraced Caine.

Caine held her tightly to his chest. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I went ten rounds with every boss I've ever fought all at once, but at least I can stay awake for more than five minutes. What happened to me?"

Caine opened his palm and showed her the D.I.E containing the secondary soul. "I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but it seems your soul fragmented itself. Say hello to the little troublemaker that knocked you on your ass." He chuckled.

Pomni took the D.I.E and looked at it closely. The small soul reacted excitedly, flaring up in her hand. What little energy she had to spare reached out to it, and it felt like interacting with Caine....but also not. "Are you sure this isn't just a part of you that clung to me when we...uh...bonded?" She asked with a subtle blush on her face as she remembered what they did.

Caine held her hand holding the D.I.E. "I really don't know. When I inspected it, it didn't feel like a part of me, but it also didn't fully feel like you either. Whatever- WHOever this is, they're new. However...because this came from your heart and it was such a hassle, even becoming dangerous to your health...I'll let you be the judge of what we do next. Do you wish to keep it?"

They sat in silence for a moment, just basking in the glow of the new soul. It felt like it was reaching out to both hands cradling it. Pomni felt a connection to the soul. It was new, but also a part of her and Caine. Was this...a child? "He stays."

"He?" Caine asked. "How can you tell?"

"I just can. Caine...I think we have a son."

Caine blinked in astonishment. The new soul being the result of esoteric procreation was not on his list of possibilities. He hand closed around Pomni's, who in turn closed around the new soul protectively. "We made new life..." He was still in complete disbelief.

"Cade." Pomni said softly.

"What?"

"His name. Cade." Pomni used her free hand to cover Caine's and held the combined parental embrace over the new soul to her chest. Somewhere, deep within her heart, her soul rejoiced in the presence of her new son. Perhaps the person's soul she holds always wanted to be a mother.

"That's perfect. I'll get on building him a body right away. If he is who you believe...maybe I should include physical traits from both of us."

"You don't think this is your son?"

"I don't know what to think, Pomni. I thought I was watching you die, so I'm a bit drained myself. It does have an interesting reaction to my presence. Otherwise...I just don't know yet. But, if you are certain this is our child, then I won't question you. It was literally inside you for who knows how long. You would know better than I."

"You're afraid." Pomni said flatly, looking him in the eye.

Caine sighed. "I never thought I'd be good father material. I suppose this just...has me feeling defensive. Not that the concept of children has even been considered possible since the fall of humanity, so this is extraordinarily unexpected."

"Yeah....you're right. I feel caught off guard too but, it...I don't know. I feel...connected to him. I can't just let him go. This is mine now."

Caine smiled softly and kissed Pomni's temple. "Congratulations, on becoming a mother."

"Thanks, daddy." She sniggered at her own joke the second it left her lips.

"WOW. I mean, wow Pomni. Thanks for ruining the moment." He tried to sound annoyed but he was half laughing.

Pomni leaned into Caine and kissed his lower jaw softly. "Let me try again. Congrats, you're a dad, and you're going to be the best."

"Maybe...I've certainly had enough practice wrangling all of you weirdos that live in the manor. What's one more?"

"Our little weirdo." Pomni smiled.

"Ours..." Caine smiled back.

[sparrowlucero]

Omg I just saw your heron puppet post and it looks so lifelike and amazing! Have you/would ever try making puppets of your dragon designs?

I haven't (mostly because of time) but I'd really like to make a salmon-themed dragon puppet at some point!

[aquinnix]

Can we just acknowledge how absurd Hermitcraft lore/canon is? 

We have a space hippy with a camper van that can travel at the speed of light. A sentient and mildly existential campaign robot whose various iterations are willing to destroy a world in order to make some guy with a mustache mayor (whose mustache has the ability to bring back the dead). Some creeper cyborg goat who wears crocs and breaks the laws of physics like it's any other Tuesday is in an economic dispute with the salmon mafia which is mediated by a hand puppet with a surprising knowledge of contract law. You could play a drinking game with the amount of time people get possessed by one entity or another, including but not limited to: a rock, some corrupt moss, some other corrupt moss, the ocean, a rabbit, capitalism ghosts, and Jeff. None of them are human, except that one guy who still probably isn’t human. One season straight up both is and is not canon depending on who you ask because it might have just been a simulation run by the previously mentioned existential campaign robot. There are multiple eclectically themed superheroes who barely do anything remotely helpful, one of which has a whole persona dedicated to *checks notes* being attractive? Don’t forget about the money laundering space snails. Then you have an eccentric inventor type who is also death incarnate and to whom the laws of reality just don’t apply if he doesn’t want them to. And then you throw not just time travel into the mix, but travel between multiverses. Except they might not be multiverses, just other planets. Half the people just disappear for a while playing a traumatic death game and everyone just acts like nothing happened. Don’t even get me started on helsmits…

This fandom really is just left rocking back and forth in a corner with a ball of red string.

[way2gosuperrstarr]

so. my friend and i now share a new hyperfixation

me when the silly puppet show

[hmshermitcraft]

(I think this fits the theme)

Grian and Cleo came together to make a puppet show to mock(gently) other couples in hermitcraft these are the names of the shows

"Admit you all are obsessed" - Including etho and all the ethogirlies

"Being normal with eatchother a mission impossible" - Including Iskall and Stress

"Fishy bussiness" - Including the big salmon mafia

And way more! They make fun of eatchother too while rehearsing, like making non official shows. Grian called his "Violent love" as it basicly how Cleo shows love and she created "The clingy bird" because of how he clinges to Mumbo like a coala. They have alot of fun doing this - 🦋

It doesn't take long, in the way hermit things tend to do, for the others to retaliate. The puppets are just as high quality, and Etho makes noteblock musical accompaniment.

Which, of course, means it's time for a puppet war.

In a strange way, it's nice to see the different aspects of people's relationships are picked out. It's a strange form of appreciation, but appreciation nonetheless.

[sol-consort]

Regarding the human kink thing when it comes to turians, some people actually do be nesting, omega-verse style. Imagine being a human assigned to a turian ship, and you just over here in your bunk, innocently arranging the pillows and stuffies, while these guys are just standing there, slack-jawed and harmonizing their subvocals lol

[updated post]

A/B/O is not for me, but I dig the concept of aliens being intrigued by plushies. They are weird when you think about it.

The weird part isn't the plushies–it makes sense for warm-blooded mammals who value skinship to enjoy cuddling soft things, hugs are fundamental for your health—No, The weird part is how the most popular plushies aren't human shaped.

You could argue dolls, but dolls aren't used as plushies. They're more hard and sturdy, something that can withstand being played with. they have joints and brushable hair. Dolls are puppets to tell a story with, a psychological form of play through creativity.

I want you for a moment to imagine an advanced civilisation of bears with me.

With metropolises and bustling economy, they haven't mastered space travel yet but they've been eyeing the planet closest to them, bringing back rocks from the moon, etc.

In one apartment complex, there lives a bear family. The furniture is more accommodating to their larger build, clothes are more of an accessory to them considering their luxurious fur coats keeping them warm.

It's nighttime, tomorrow's a Sunday and mom bear has to leave to work early, she's currently washing the dishes leftover from the wonderful dinner the family just had. Her wife, however, is putting their son to bed. it's his second week in elementary bear school! he's unhappy with his seating arrangement in class however, the teacher placed him too far from his best friend.

His mother promises to have a chat with the teacher about it when she drops him off tomorrow, the son bear is very delighted and roars happily. A big yawn escapes him as his eyelids get heavy.

In his arms, there lies a cotton friend. His most beloved treasure, the most precious inanimate object to his heart. His plushie!

He adores it. It makes him so happy. It helped make him feel safe when he first started sleeping alone after his moms got him his own bed.

Now, I need you to tell me what does the plushie look like?

For me, these are the options that instinctively came to my mind when attempting to imagine what sentient bear cubs living in a 21st century would gravitate towards in a plushie.

A) a teddybear, more fluffy, abstract, and cartoonish looking

B) a plushie in the shape of a honeyjar

C) a plushie in the shape of a fish–more specifically, salmon or trout

D) fuck idk man leave me alone

When compressed down to their core, in the most simplfied form, the choices are:

A) Identity

B) Food

C) Food

D) How did you get into my house?

-

With that long analogy out of the way, when you compare that limited selection to the actual things humans have already turned into plushies, it just doesn't make sense.

Food, yes we have plushies of food but also of animals we do not eat. rabbits, cats, dogs, dolphins, bugs. We have plushies of predetors even, things that once hunted us down, beings that still could very well kill us if we meet face to face, tigers, sharks, bears themselves even.

Animal cartoons are much more popular amongst kids. Fables about talking animals have been a stable genre ever since humans invented writing. Animal plushies are popular amongst adults too.

Plushies of inanimate objects, of plants, of fictional characters and fantasy creatures.

I'm willing to bet that humans already made plushies of verans since the first year they came into space, that they sold out on earth immediately. Hell, I'm sure there are plushies of reapers, of protheons and even of turians and other species.

Not even abstract ideas were spared from being into marketable plushies! isn't there a series designed to raise awareness for mental illness?

The whole meme of "turns your fav into a marketable plushie" spread so much because it is true. If there is one thing humans love, is making plushies of anything not human.

And that's the weird part to aliens, the big boy of human anomalies. "Why do they want to cuddle literally everything in this universe? and how come plushies of other humans is the last thing on that list"

You try to explain it to a salarian once but they just look at you in confusion. What do you mean you sleeping with plushes resembling your species is "weird"?? Don't you humans like hugging each other so much? Yet cuddling the soft imitation of a reaper each night isn't weird to you????

That's not even mentioning how the bear society analogy is flawed because we are biased by nature. We projected the bear society onto our human agriculture and based it upon our own popculture.

When in reality they would hold very different values, a different emotional range. They'd be as diverse as the other alien species in mass effect, sharing more resemblance to them than to humans.

We see someone sad, and we have this need to touch them, pat their shoulder, rub their back, hold their hands, and give a hug. Bears let their children walk on their own while we carry our young more, much like aquatic birds in more ways than we'd think.

A/B/O nesting isn't my cup of tea, but with turians, it's easier to digest. Yeah, they are birds. It would be literal nesting. That's kinda cute.

We like caves, it's also cute. Would turians prefer the top bunkbed? Anyway.

Birds usually throw clutter away from their nests, anything that's not a straw or building material is disposed off to make space for their eggs.

While we like the opposite, clutter fucking rocks! at least for humans.

We have a mattress, then a mattress cover, then a sheet.

Then we have pillows, stuffing, then pillow covers, decorative pillows.

After it, multiple blankets! a soft one, a heavy one, an airy one. Sometimes, blankets come with blanket covers.

Finally, the plushies arrive. Multiple of course, some for decorations, others well worn with cuddles. Sometimes a gaint big one to fully wrap all of our limbs around.

Sometimes our beds have crumbs from food we eat in it, othertimes it has a stray sock we took off while in bed and forgot.

Most of the time it has our phone in it, a pet joins us there, book we're reading, laundry we were supposed to fold but forgot, a bag, or several outfits as we get ready to go out.

That's a cave, much like bears leave the skeletal remains of their prey, we have crumbs from the cookie we suddenly craved at 3am.

Nests are neat and clutter-free, at least the bird ones, always getting cleaned from waste. Eggshells are thrown out as they hatch, baby birds waste are immediately disposed of.

Lizard nests aren't that different.

Because the equivalent to a nest foundation isn't the blankets, plushies, or pillows. it's the house foundation itself!

The concrete walls and the sturdy floorboards. The whole bedroom is already a well-built nest. The bed is just an extra cushion. The fluffy material and loose feathers birds leave at the very top, so the twigs don't scratch the fragile eggs.

So, in conclusion. Turians and Salarians would get VERY overwhelmed in a human bedroom, let alone a human bed with plushies, stuffies, and blankets.

They're like, "Are you expecting a baby???" When they notice what their brain consider is extra protective fluffing for eggs.

Turians even more because of their lack of skin nerves, hard plating, and all. Their outershell makes it hard to appreciate soft things, let alone hugging them, when they can barely feel it.

Salarains? They're softer, more squishy, and they might enjoy the way it feels against their skin. Most reptiles do, and they're the closest thing for reference.

They're warm-blooded, but they do originate from a fully tropical planet + they're amphibians and might have used to be semi-aquatic? Meaning that while they still produce their own bodyheat, it wouldn't be that much to begin with. Space is definitely much colder to them than to a human.

That's why hugging a human is so nice to them! They can leech off of your body heat as their very own sun–or at least a substitute for a heatlamp.

But plushies and blankets are a different story. With blankets, they might make them cold or freeze since they blocked whatever light or heatlamp the salarians must need for sleep when they're not wearing their temperature adjustment suits.

And if you sleep next to them under the blanket, your trapped body heat will cause the temperature to rise above what's comfortable for them and risk overheating them. Same with the fluffy sheets, pillows or plushies.

there's the risk of overheating them with your body as the blanket traps in the heat. it will happen slowly, but that just makes it more dangerous. A slow simmer of rising body temperature as they realise what a death trap a human bed actually is.

Plus, salarians only need one hour of sleep per cycle, it seems very excessive to them that you'd build a whole room and make the biggest piece of furniture in it solely for the purpose of sleep. All of those plushies just to hug to sleep?

Drell, who breathe through their skin, would view blankets as a total nightmare. Their clothes already need a lot of adjustment to accommodate their conditions, only certain material is airy enough to allow them to get a lungfull, and you want to suffocate them with cotton or polyester?

They know you only breathe through your nose, but it still...makes them feel uneasy. Seeing you covered completely in stuffies and thick blankets, only your head poking out. Much like what it would feel for us to see someone go to sleep underwater with a flimsy mask connected to an oxygen tank. Now, this is truly a death trap–the salarians were right.

As long as you forgo the blanket and...allow them to fully strip down, they will give this whole human bed thing a try. Silk or satin sheets and pillow covers feel the best against their skin, smooth surfaces that seamlessly glide, air particles passing through it with little trouble.

Anything fluffy, feathery, or with fur will irritate their skin. It's like something brushing against your nose. They sacrifice a lot of comfort when it comes to indulging the human need to cuddle, but most drell rarely complain as they accommodate to your need, even if it meant you'd be slightly cutting off their air circulation.

Maybe their society is exceptionally polite? Maybe devotion and sacrifice for the ones you love are just ingrained in their biology? It would explain their endless royalty to the hanar despite how staying on that planet is literally killing them.

Oh yeah, owning a humidifier in your room will cause them a lot of pain and discomfort. Turn it off, or if you really want to woo a drell, get a dehumidifier.

Krogans would fucking love our beds tho. Might make fun of it at first, but they secretly also want a soft mattress and plushies to cuddle with.

Get close enough with a Krogan, and they'll start crashing in your room and taking naps on your own bed whenever the chance presents itself.

Don't the asari sleep in pods? I'm thinking of that sex scene in ME, she fucks you in a pod. That's something. At least...Liara gets used to human beds?

-

Anway! having established all of that definitely vital and necessary world building, I can finally talk smut about the turians! the original context of this request!

One look at a human's bed and their minds are definitely going south. First of all, human, you're in desperate need of a mate because your nest is a mess! Why do you have so many different fabrics? Aren't you worried you'll suffocate yourself with a plushie or too while sleeping?

Second of all...they didn't know humans were this soft. You mean, most humans sleep like this? In very comfortable beds? Even like...the army tough ones? Oh, that's why they get so excited for shore leave? so they can return to their actual comfortable nests–sorry yes "beds" and have some decent sleep?

huh.

And none of you are expecting children, correct? This is just how the average adult human goes to sleep?

Turians don't have the heart to tell you that they associate soft beds–ones like yours—to the human equivalent of a heart-shaped bed with rose petals scattered around, candles illuminating the room and a very deliberate lack of condoms.

They try not to...think about it whenever they come into the room. A bluish hue adorning their cheeks, trying to avoid eye-contact as they explain that uh...fuck, they accidentally glanced towards your bed and forgot what they came here to say.

I talked before how jarring it's to them that humans easily allow others on their bed, be it human or not. You just casually invite your friends to sit on it? The same sheets you sleep on each night? the one so heavy with your delicious scent they can practically smell it the second they stepped foot into this room?

And now you're telling them to take a seat, even handing them one of your plushies to keep in their lap. What's a friendly gesture and a show of trust is being very very badly misinterpreted by their brain chemistry, their biology going haywire at what they consider the declaration of "Get me pregnant" Whether you're actually capable of it or not.

-

Sidenote, the angara might be the only ones to share our bed preferences, not only that but show enthusiasm at the mention of plushies.

The only difference is that their society values plushies that resemble people more, angara like them. The dolls and plushie lineup are very intertwined.

Cuddling very intimately with someone isn't sexualised either, nor presented under a romantic light necessarily. Their society prides itself on love and affection; they're direct with expressing their emotions.

A single angara family can have many mothers and fathers, tens of sisters and brothers. Cuddling and sharing a bed is very normalised even far into adulthood.

They might be the ones giving humans the wrong idea by immediately inviting them back to cuddle on their bed after only the second meeting. Just because they decided they like you :) It's the equivalent of going out for coffee.

Protheoans, meanwhile, fall on the opposite spectrum. Javik doesn't have a bed, does he? He never asks for one either. They're a society of warriors, they value strength and abhor tenderness. Brutal honesty is their forte.

But...they also read each other's emotions through touch.

While beds are a foreign concept, plushies are not. Javik can sense the history of a room just by directly touching its floorboards. Plushies and other sentimental objects must be valued very greatly in their society, doesn't he hold onto the disk of memories from his time back before being frozen?

He understands why his own species came to value plushies, but why the hell does yours do it? You lack his abilities, all humans do.

You try to explain it to him, but it just sounds like you're describing vague and badly done emotion reading with extra steps.

He concludes that humans must hold traces of these abilities. It just translates into safety and the need to cuddle others. Also, it is clearly inferior to the protheon's advanced ability, so yeah.

Javik dislikes your bed but likes your plushies and actually welcomes cuddling. He remains stoic throughout it but you can feel him poking through your memories.

Same with your plushies, he asks that he may keep one as a relic. A piece of your soul, your history is encased in it like an artifact in amber.

Touching it almost feels exactly like travelling in time to meet your old self, getting to part the curtians of space itself and get a front row view on the person you used to be.

Plushies immortalise you to protheans, who would've thought.

-

I had so much fun with this an analysis it <333 I know it isn't exactly what you had in mind anon, I'm sorry, A/B/O is listed as a "no" in my requesting list. But the concept was so good I had to approach it in a different direction.

I hope you still enjoyed it!