#☆protheans

[sol-consort]

Regarding the human kink thing when it comes to turians, some people actually do be nesting, omega-verse style. Imagine being a human assigned to a turian ship, and you just over here in your bunk, innocently arranging the pillows and stuffies, while these guys are just standing there, slack-jawed and harmonizing their subvocals lol

[updated post]

A/B/O is not for me, but I dig the concept of aliens being intrigued by plushies. They are weird when you think about it.

The weird part isn't the plushies–it makes sense for warm-blooded mammals who value skinship to enjoy cuddling soft things, hugs are fundamental for your health—No, The weird part is how the most popular plushies aren't human shaped.

You could argue dolls, but dolls aren't used as plushies. They're more hard and sturdy, something that can withstand being played with. they have joints and brushable hair. Dolls are puppets to tell a story with, a psychological form of play through creativity.

I want you for a moment to imagine an advanced civilisation of bears with me.

With metropolises and bustling economy, they haven't mastered space travel yet but they've been eyeing the planet closest to them, bringing back rocks from the moon, etc.

In one apartment complex, there lives a bear family. The furniture is more accommodating to their larger build, clothes are more of an accessory to them considering their luxurious fur coats keeping them warm.

It's nighttime, tomorrow's a Sunday and mom bear has to leave to work early, she's currently washing the dishes leftover from the wonderful dinner the family just had. Her wife, however, is putting their son to bed. it's his second week in elementary bear school! he's unhappy with his seating arrangement in class however, the teacher placed him too far from his best friend.

His mother promises to have a chat with the teacher about it when she drops him off tomorrow, the son bear is very delighted and roars happily. A big yawn escapes him as his eyelids get heavy.

In his arms, there lies a cotton friend. His most beloved treasure, the most precious inanimate object to his heart. His plushie!

He adores it. It makes him so happy. It helped make him feel safe when he first started sleeping alone after his moms got him his own bed.

Now, I need you to tell me what does the plushie look like?

For me, these are the options that instinctively came to my mind when attempting to imagine what sentient bear cubs living in a 21st century would gravitate towards in a plushie.

A) a teddybear, more fluffy, abstract, and cartoonish looking

B) a plushie in the shape of a honeyjar

C) a plushie in the shape of a fish–more specifically, salmon or trout

D) fuck idk man leave me alone

When compressed down to their core, in the most simplfied form, the choices are:

A) Identity

B) Food

C) Food

D) How did you get into my house?

-

With that long analogy out of the way, when you compare that limited selection to the actual things humans have already turned into plushies, it just doesn't make sense.

Food, yes we have plushies of food but also of animals we do not eat. rabbits, cats, dogs, dolphins, bugs. We have plushies of predetors even, things that once hunted us down, beings that still could very well kill us if we meet face to face, tigers, sharks, bears themselves even.

Animal cartoons are much more popular amongst kids. Fables about talking animals have been a stable genre ever since humans invented writing. Animal plushies are popular amongst adults too.

Plushies of inanimate objects, of plants, of fictional characters and fantasy creatures.

I'm willing to bet that humans already made plushies of verans since the first year they came into space, that they sold out on earth immediately. Hell, I'm sure there are plushies of reapers, of protheons and even of turians and other species.

Not even abstract ideas were spared from being into marketable plushies! isn't there a series designed to raise awareness for mental illness?

The whole meme of "turns your fav into a marketable plushie" spread so much because it is true. If there is one thing humans love, is making plushies of anything not human.

And that's the weird part to aliens, the big boy of human anomalies. "Why do they want to cuddle literally everything in this universe? and how come plushies of other humans is the last thing on that list"

You try to explain it to a salarian once but they just look at you in confusion. What do you mean you sleeping with plushes resembling your species is "weird"?? Don't you humans like hugging each other so much? Yet cuddling the soft imitation of a reaper each night isn't weird to you????

That's not even mentioning how the bear society analogy is flawed because we are biased by nature. We projected the bear society onto our human agriculture and based it upon our own popculture.

When in reality they would hold very different values, a different emotional range. They'd be as diverse as the other alien species in mass effect, sharing more resemblance to them than to humans.

We see someone sad, and we have this need to touch them, pat their shoulder, rub their back, hold their hands, and give a hug. Bears let their children walk on their own while we carry our young more, much like aquatic birds in more ways than we'd think.

A/B/O nesting isn't my cup of tea, but with turians, it's easier to digest. Yeah, they are birds. It would be literal nesting. That's kinda cute.

We like caves, it's also cute. Would turians prefer the top bunkbed? Anyway.

Birds usually throw clutter away from their nests, anything that's not a straw or building material is disposed off to make space for their eggs.

While we like the opposite, clutter fucking rocks! at least for humans.

We have a mattress, then a mattress cover, then a sheet.

Then we have pillows, stuffing, then pillow covers, decorative pillows.

After it, multiple blankets! a soft one, a heavy one, an airy one. Sometimes, blankets come with blanket covers.

Finally, the plushies arrive. Multiple of course, some for decorations, others well worn with cuddles. Sometimes a gaint big one to fully wrap all of our limbs around.

Sometimes our beds have crumbs from food we eat in it, othertimes it has a stray sock we took off while in bed and forgot.

Most of the time it has our phone in it, a pet joins us there, book we're reading, laundry we were supposed to fold but forgot, a bag, or several outfits as we get ready to go out.

That's a cave, much like bears leave the skeletal remains of their prey, we have crumbs from the cookie we suddenly craved at 3am.

Nests are neat and clutter-free, at least the bird ones, always getting cleaned from waste. Eggshells are thrown out as they hatch, baby birds waste are immediately disposed of.

Lizard nests aren't that different.

Because the equivalent to a nest foundation isn't the blankets, plushies, or pillows. it's the house foundation itself!

The concrete walls and the sturdy floorboards. The whole bedroom is already a well-built nest. The bed is just an extra cushion. The fluffy material and loose feathers birds leave at the very top, so the twigs don't scratch the fragile eggs.

So, in conclusion. Turians and Salarians would get VERY overwhelmed in a human bedroom, let alone a human bed with plushies, stuffies, and blankets.

They're like, "Are you expecting a baby???" When they notice what their brain consider is extra protective fluffing for eggs.

Turians even more because of their lack of skin nerves, hard plating, and all. Their outershell makes it hard to appreciate soft things, let alone hugging them, when they can barely feel it.

Salarains? They're softer, more squishy, and they might enjoy the way it feels against their skin. Most reptiles do, and they're the closest thing for reference.

They're warm-blooded, but they do originate from a fully tropical planet + they're amphibians and might have used to be semi-aquatic? Meaning that while they still produce their own bodyheat, it wouldn't be that much to begin with. Space is definitely much colder to them than to a human.

That's why hugging a human is so nice to them! They can leech off of your body heat as their very own sun–or at least a substitute for a heatlamp.

But plushies and blankets are a different story. With blankets, they might make them cold or freeze since they blocked whatever light or heatlamp the salarians must need for sleep when they're not wearing their temperature adjustment suits.

And if you sleep next to them under the blanket, your trapped body heat will cause the temperature to rise above what's comfortable for them and risk overheating them. Same with the fluffy sheets, pillows or plushies.

there's the risk of overheating them with your body as the blanket traps in the heat. it will happen slowly, but that just makes it more dangerous. A slow simmer of rising body temperature as they realise what a death trap a human bed actually is.

Plus, salarians only need one hour of sleep per cycle, it seems very excessive to them that you'd build a whole room and make the biggest piece of furniture in it solely for the purpose of sleep. All of those plushies just to hug to sleep?

Drell, who breathe through their skin, would view blankets as a total nightmare. Their clothes already need a lot of adjustment to accommodate their conditions, only certain material is airy enough to allow them to get a lungfull, and you want to suffocate them with cotton or polyester?

They know you only breathe through your nose, but it still...makes them feel uneasy. Seeing you covered completely in stuffies and thick blankets, only your head poking out. Much like what it would feel for us to see someone go to sleep underwater with a flimsy mask connected to an oxygen tank. Now, this is truly a death trap–the salarians were right.

As long as you forgo the blanket and...allow them to fully strip down, they will give this whole human bed thing a try. Silk or satin sheets and pillow covers feel the best against their skin, smooth surfaces that seamlessly glide, air particles passing through it with little trouble.

Anything fluffy, feathery, or with fur will irritate their skin. It's like something brushing against your nose. They sacrifice a lot of comfort when it comes to indulging the human need to cuddle, but most drell rarely complain as they accommodate to your need, even if it meant you'd be slightly cutting off their air circulation.

Maybe their society is exceptionally polite? Maybe devotion and sacrifice for the ones you love are just ingrained in their biology? It would explain their endless royalty to the hanar despite how staying on that planet is literally killing them.

Oh yeah, owning a humidifier in your room will cause them a lot of pain and discomfort. Turn it off, or if you really want to woo a drell, get a dehumidifier.

Krogans would fucking love our beds tho. Might make fun of it at first, but they secretly also want a soft mattress and plushies to cuddle with.

Get close enough with a Krogan, and they'll start crashing in your room and taking naps on your own bed whenever the chance presents itself.

Don't the asari sleep in pods? I'm thinking of that sex scene in ME, she fucks you in a pod. That's something. At least...Liara gets used to human beds?

-

Anway! having established all of that definitely vital and necessary world building, I can finally talk smut about the turians! the original context of this request!

One look at a human's bed and their minds are definitely going south. First of all, human, you're in desperate need of a mate because your nest is a mess! Why do you have so many different fabrics? Aren't you worried you'll suffocate yourself with a plushie or too while sleeping?

Second of all...they didn't know humans were this soft. You mean, most humans sleep like this? In very comfortable beds? Even like...the army tough ones? Oh, that's why they get so excited for shore leave? so they can return to their actual comfortable nests–sorry yes "beds" and have some decent sleep?

huh.

And none of you are expecting children, correct? This is just how the average adult human goes to sleep?

Turians don't have the heart to tell you that they associate soft beds–ones like yours—to the human equivalent of a heart-shaped bed with rose petals scattered around, candles illuminating the room and a very deliberate lack of condoms.

They try not to...think about it whenever they come into the room. A bluish hue adorning their cheeks, trying to avoid eye-contact as they explain that uh...fuck, they accidentally glanced towards your bed and forgot what they came here to say.

I talked before how jarring it's to them that humans easily allow others on their bed, be it human or not. You just casually invite your friends to sit on it? The same sheets you sleep on each night? the one so heavy with your delicious scent they can practically smell it the second they stepped foot into this room?

And now you're telling them to take a seat, even handing them one of your plushies to keep in their lap. What's a friendly gesture and a show of trust is being very very badly misinterpreted by their brain chemistry, their biology going haywire at what they consider the declaration of "Get me pregnant" Whether you're actually capable of it or not.

-

Sidenote, the angara might be the only ones to share our bed preferences, not only that but show enthusiasm at the mention of plushies.

The only difference is that their society values plushies that resemble people more, angara like them. The dolls and plushie lineup are very intertwined.

Cuddling very intimately with someone isn't sexualised either, nor presented under a romantic light necessarily. Their society prides itself on love and affection; they're direct with expressing their emotions.

A single angara family can have many mothers and fathers, tens of sisters and brothers. Cuddling and sharing a bed is very normalised even far into adulthood.

They might be the ones giving humans the wrong idea by immediately inviting them back to cuddle on their bed after only the second meeting. Just because they decided they like you :) It's the equivalent of going out for coffee.

Protheoans, meanwhile, fall on the opposite spectrum. Javik doesn't have a bed, does he? He never asks for one either. They're a society of warriors, they value strength and abhor tenderness. Brutal honesty is their forte.

But...they also read each other's emotions through touch.

While beds are a foreign concept, plushies are not. Javik can sense the history of a room just by directly touching its floorboards. Plushies and other sentimental objects must be valued very greatly in their society, doesn't he hold onto the disk of memories from his time back before being frozen?

He understands why his own species came to value plushies, but why the hell does yours do it? You lack his abilities, all humans do.

You try to explain it to him, but it just sounds like you're describing vague and badly done emotion reading with extra steps.

He concludes that humans must hold traces of these abilities. It just translates into safety and the need to cuddle others. Also, it is clearly inferior to the protheon's advanced ability, so yeah.

Javik dislikes your bed but likes your plushies and actually welcomes cuddling. He remains stoic throughout it but you can feel him poking through your memories.

Same with your plushies, he asks that he may keep one as a relic. A piece of your soul, your history is encased in it like an artifact in amber.

Touching it almost feels exactly like travelling in time to meet your old self, getting to part the curtians of space itself and get a front row view on the person you used to be.

Plushies immortalise you to protheans, who would've thought.

-

I had so much fun with this an analysis it <333 I know it isn't exactly what you had in mind anon, I'm sorry, A/B/O is listed as a "no" in my requesting list. But the concept was so good I had to approach it in a different direction.

I hope you still enjoyed it!

[simowis]

"Prothean Scientist"

With a Mask. Primitive's view of god.

[catsharky]

Did I say the last comic was 1 of 2 parts? Well it's now 1/3, because this thing is like mint and won't stop growing.

The next part isn't even the end, this was just all originally supposed to be one single post that I decided to split up so it didn't take an age to post. So yeah, next part will kind of be 3/3 except those numbers actually mean nothing lmfao.

Part 1 • Previous Part • Next Part

(also Vigil's room was the absolute worst to find reference images for oh my god)

[oonaluna-art]

Liara’s character development between Mass Effect 1 and 3.

As a history major, I’d probably be salty too.

—

[My Ko-Fi] [RedBubble] [Patreon]  

[lajadelmira]

✨Lucien✨

He is a big meanie ,he's definitely not afraid to be a jerk when he needs to be,always looking for attention and praise.

I love protheans soooo muuuch 😭💕 (WHY THEY DIDN'T LET ME ROMANCE JAVIK?!?!?!)

So i absolutely needed to make my own It's my burden to carry~ 😏

[thornheartless]

Commander Shepard here with another unboxing video! This time we've got, uhhh-

[The camera pans over to a cryopod.]

A prothean.

[gemsbokk]

javik, helpless🥰

Uni work kicking my ass so have this helpless prothy the prothean freshly out of the fridge

(The emotion wheel below)

[onedismay]

Drew a Javik. What if he glowed in the dark? What if the back of his head did a little swoosh like an asari? I am explaining this concept to you by motioning wildly with my hands even though the drawing is right there

[flame2ashes]

Honestly the idea of getting Liara after doing Virmire is so funny. Even funnier if it's the last of the main missions you do. Benezia's dead. You got the cipher from Shiala. You fought Saren once. You met Sovereign. At most, two of your squadmates are dead. You basically went through the entire game only to get Liara and for her to be like "I've studied Protheans for years but the mystery of why they disappeared still eludes me" Well alright who volunteers to recap the last 25 hours of the game to her

[goblin-sovereign]

Just made this piece of shit

[hirasuki]

[sol-consort]

Just imagining a ship getting its first human join the team and before the first month is over the most searched on the net:

>Human courting rituals

>>What the hell is kissing???

>>>Human kissing safe for [Species]?

>Things humans take as compliments

>>how to flirt with humans

>>>Human baring teeth not aggression?

>>>>Human "Smile"

>>>>>how to tell if Human is flirting with you

>>>>>Humans comparing hand sizes courting ritual??

>Human Porn

>>Can humans and [Species] have sex safely?

>>>Human heat cycles all year long?

>>>>Human × [Species] porn

Or something 💦

Here's what I imagine each of their "educational" search history to be. Slight smut ahead? Mostly fluff.

Turians

The explanation behind the phenomenon of an entire species being absolutely annoying and impossibly alluring

Do humans find sharp teeth attractive

Why is the human skin so soft

Are humans soft inside

How does a human feel inside

Human/Turian porn

Can a turian safely preform oral on a human

Are humans okay with bites and scratches in bed

Top 5 kinks for human

Define being "rough in bed" (Our definition of rough is their definition of vanilla)

Ask Blueddit (Turian reddit?) "Do you guys also get turned on when your human friends are being frustrating? Is this normal? Why do I want to fuck them after each argument?

Human nests?

Human "beds"

Are humans aware of their own scent?

What does it mean when a human touches your waist

Define human "hugging"

Is hugging a mating ritual?

Human waist pictures

No seriously how are humans so soft?

How to kiss a human without injuring their lips

Is turian cum really toxic to humans?

Blue Talon healthcare Inc. Interspecies relationships, human edition pamphlet free copy

Can human ears hear Turian's purring frequency

Do humans enjoy purring

"Purring extends the human lifespan" Myth or fact?

What are cats?

Humans are brainwashed by a small predetor and they are okay with it?

Videos of earth cats

How to adopt a cat

Cat care package for first time owners discount deals

Ask Blueddit "Humans keep asking to come back to my home when I mention having a cat, has it really been that easy all along?"

-

Asari

How do humans view asari

What traits do humans consider the most attractive in a partner

Are humans exclusively monogamous?

Prime locations to court a human

Nightclubs near me

Humans kissing

Humans kissing video

How to download a video online

Define milf

Humans are more attracted to people who already had kids?

Human preference for partners older than them

Human fur

Human "hair"

Different types of human hair

Is blue a natural hair colour in humans

Why do humans dye their hair

Do humans enjoy it when you play with their hair

What's a hairpulling kink

Humans are turned on by pain?

What are the humans opinions on using biotics in bed?

Is blue really the most common favourite colour for humans?

Blue sky - earth

A tourist's guide to visiting earth, when is the prime season?

Beach season?

Why do humans walk around in their underwear near the ocean?

Human swimsuits pictures

Sexy human bikinis

Asari bikinis?

-

Krogans

Human heat cycle duration

Humans can breed all year long?

Define human "breeding kink"

what's a creampie

what's a pie

Why do humans calls sexual acts by food names

Actual real cream pies

Pi (misspelled)

Why do humans call a mathematical ratio by sexual acts terms

Pies

Pie flavours

What's the best pie to order

Human bakeries near me

Are human bones sturdy?

Human body can handle the weight of a krogan?

How deadly is a bone fracture to humans

Human-krogan sexual positions

Do humans enjoy getting picked up

Do humans enjoy sitting in other's laps

Define "manhandling"

Humans are turned on by strength?

Do humans find krogans attractive

How to court a human

Humans courting gift ideas

Earth roses

What are dates

How to ask a human out on a date

Poem inspirations

Do humans still consider being serenaded a romantic gesture?

-

+ Bonus

Protheons (just Javik tbh)

What happened to the wolves humans were trying to befriend?

Dogs

Cute dog videos

Define "cute"

What do humans consider adorable

Are pathetic helpless things adorable?

Are humans aware of how adorable they look to the rest of the galaxy?

Why do humans interpret my flirting as insults?

How to convince the humans to touch them

Human intimacy and physical affection

Videos of humans cuddling

Are humans still obsessed with throwing round objects?

Define "sports"

Most popular human sports

Human sports lack of death?

Why are humans so fragile and primitive

If I throw a ball would a human attempt to catch it?

[simowis]

Memory shard

[elfcollector]

Your "Joker" pilot insists I call myself "Prothy the Prothean."  I insisted he allow me to throw him out the airlock.

[oonaluna-art]

Benezia and baby Liara - based on this Leyendecker illustration (which just turned 100!)

---

[My Ko-Fi] [Patreon] [RedBubble]

[cosmic-kasa]