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Hail Sai Mati
Hail to the Wise Janya Hail to the Matron of Scholars, Students, and Seekers Hail to the Keeper of the Path of Light Bless and guide us this day
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It's the first day of September, you all know what that means:
We ignore the frankly awfully hot weather and share some pumpkin spiced cocoa recipes!!!
#the amelia project#tap#:D#I have aquired a pumpkin#this maty is unstoppable#i mean my main way to add “pumpkin spice” is to add a ton of cinnamon#CINNANOMMM#as Mr. Dylan Hollis would say
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#dorohedoro#drhdr#mati reads drhdr#sorry if you dont think shed say this you just dont get it..#joke post
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Meyakinkanmu membalas cintaku
Haruskah ku mati karenamu?
Terkubur dalam kesedihan sepanjang waktu
I’m the midst of burnout earlier this month I found solace through the songs of my younger years
#this is my way to say which part of SEA am I through a vent#i am okay-ish we book to a doctors appointment at 6 am but I’m alright#song inspired by haruskah ku mati (or do I have to die) by ADAband#the lyrics translate : I’ve written millions of poems (offerings )#believing that someday you’d finally receive that is my love#do I have to die because of you#burried in deep sadness for all of eternity#tired…going to bed#hackus art#hackus rambles#technically#sleep token#sleep token vessel#vessel
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glad I’m not the only one hahahaha
#mat barzal#taylor swift#not saying there is a connection but … there is a connection#new york islanders#happy birthday maty <3
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do i care for matias or is the nickname matty very fun
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markos, a year into a major depressive episode: someone must’ve given me the mati.
#he’s an idiot#but i can’t say anything lol#jackstory#markos elefterakis#sometimes what you think is burnout is probably just the evil eye and sometimes what you think is the mati is depression#con rambles
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Hail Sai Vathë
Hail the Saffron Robed Teacher of Creation Hail the Keeper of the Book of Wisdom Hail to the Guide of the Path of Knowledge Bless and guide us this day
#prayer#filianism#déanism#deanism#janyati#independent filianist#filianic#sai mati#sai vathë#sai nimwë
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i feel like u shouldnt be allowed to say someone has an ideology if they dont even know wtf you're talking about
#idk maybe they came to their conclusions on their own and are more malleable than you think#like if you call me x thing and idek wtf you even really mean when you say it i kinda feel like you dont get to treat me as if im loyal#to some sort of ideology or internet community. clearly ive never interacted w others on this.#kinda puts a huge hole in your narrative for that person.#if they arent being influenced by some niche internet communty- instead of getting mad at them for not being what you wanna accuse them for#(yknow. instead of being mad at yourself for making assumptions 😒)#maybe try investigating why someone whos virtually a normie came to that conclusion and understand how underlying a lot of#ideologies are in a lot of shit.#you should be concerned that a normie is absorbing that kinda shit from normal-seeming sources#rather than assume theyre actively talking to a bunch of ppl online w those ideologies#bc i can tell you for sure- in my particular situation of my abuser accusing me of a bunch of shit- i havent talked to anyone about any#of my beliefs for shit#and if i did they were usually ppl who disagreed with me#my ass never joined any forums. never interacted w anyone w similar beliefs online. just watched videos or read articles.#be more concerned that theres ideologically-laced media being pushed to normies than getting mad at me about it#hey yknow what mati maybe if you focused on that and tried to tackle that situation you'd be more of a productive leftist!#instead of you know. trying to obliterate me from the internet bc god forbid someone hate you for your actions you refuse to acknowledge#ask me how ik its all performative holier than thou shit instead of genuine fucks being given to people effected by such beliefs.#though tbh- i am being VERY charitable with the idea my abuser knows wtf any of the things they accused me of actually means#i think its more like a. vague understanding. rather than actually getting it at all.#and i mean obviously i didn't know what they meant much either. still knew more than them. otherwise they wouldnt call me that shit#unless- no... you dont think--- maybe they were lying??? *gasp* who could've seen that coming !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! !!! !#my abuser using the most buzzwordsy language to appeal to people who rely on buzzwordsy language for all the info they get???#instead of actually looking into the situation at all????? couldnt be.#u really think someone would do that??? just go on the internet and lie to people who for some reason they've gained the undying#trust of no doubt by being the most performative mf online?#vent
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It finally happened I'm giving up on gender in general and becoming a full time dog.
#mati barks#like listen. theres a serious conversation to be had here.#about identity and neurodivergence#and about how long I've spent repressing myself#and making myself uncomfortable not to be made fun of#but it's so much funnier to just say. i got that dog in me.
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Support me on Patreon or send a tip on Kofi!
oh my god they're engaged to be engaged...
(also this is entirely separate from the izzyguana series fyi, but my god I have drawn their little island so many times by now)
(ID in alt and under cut)
ID: 1a. Wide shot of Stede and Ed's ramshackle house on a hill of long grass, a forested mountain sliding into the sea behind them as the sun peeks above the waves, painting them orange and yellow. Some work has been put into the house since they found it: the holes in the roof have been boarded over or covered with tarp, a rickety porch railing and staircase off the left side have been built on from scraps, oil lamps have been hung on each corner, and an addition on the right side is in progress, rocks stacked on the wood-slat roof and tarps hanging from unfinished walls. Planks of wood, tools, and fishing poles are leaned up against the porch, the path to the house has been cleared out and defined by stones and shells, and a wooden sign out front has the words "Best Little Inn By The Sea! +fishing equipment" carved into it. Stede and Ed, wearing a teal blouse with brown leather trousers and purple tee with black leather trousers respectively, are standing on the porch and looking out over the land, arms around each others waist. Stede raises his arm in a wave and shouts, "Great to see you two! Come again any time!" In the foreground, Pete and Lucius are walking down the path away from the house, looking tired. Pete has one arm around Lucius's shoulders and his eyes are closed, head listing to the side. Lucius covers his mouth as he yawns, lifting the other to throw a halfhearted wave over his shoulder. 1b. Waist-up in profile of Stede and Ed on the porch, sunrise behind them. Closest to the viewer, Stede stares out after their guests, hand lowering, smile fading to something a little bittersweet. Ed leans into Stede, free hand in his pants pocket, and rests his head in the crook of his neck as he follows Stede's gaze with a thoughtful smile. Ed asks, "You ever think about that for us?" 1c. Repeat. Stede's hand drops further, wrist dangling, as he turns his face toward Ed with a bewildered smile. "What?" Ed straightens from his cuddle, embarrassed, but keeps his right hand on Stede's waist. His left gestures randomly as he scrunches up his face, avoiding Stede's gaze. He explains, "Y'know...the matie-monie thing, whatever."
2a. Zoom out slightly; Stede takes a step back toward the house to face Ed as he pivots with his back toward the yard. They are still connected waist-to-hand. Stede plants his free hand on his hip with a smug little smirk and says, "Well I certainly hope that's not your proposal." Ed waves his free hand in a 'stop' motion, flustered as he meets his partner's eyes, and splutters "Wha- no! No, mate, I just... 'M having a dialogue." 2b. Repeat, zoom in. Ed dips his chin to look up at Stede through his lashes, red-faced and accepting defeat as he mumbles, "...How would you want it to go, though? Hypothetically." Stede giggles helplessly, free hand leaving his hip to rest fingertips on Ed's chest. 2c. Repeat, the background cutting out in favor of the sunrise occurring between them. They are almost forehead-to forehead, both of Stede's hands now pressed to Ed's chest and idly playing with the tips of his hair. Ed stares at his face with hooded eyes. Stede smiles, gaze lowered to focus on his hands, and says "Oh, I don't know. A bit of romance, you know. Dazzle." 2d. Repeat, zoom in to bust, background now mottled oranges and yellows. Ed raises his head to look past Stede with a frown, brow furrowed in confusion as he repeats blankly, "Dazzle." Stede hums idly to himself, concentrating on petting Ed's chest. 2e. Repeat. Stede lifts his head with a little smile, putting them nose-to-nose and adds, "I wouldn't say no to some fireworks." Ed flusters at the pointed reminder of their first time, cheeks turning red and a wobbly smile creeping across his face.
3a. Repeat. Stede asks, "What about you?" Ed leans back from their embrace, smile turning incredulous as he repeats, "Me?!" 3b. Waist up of Ed as he turns, sunrise at his back, to lean his left arm against the porch railing. He glances over the yard with a resigned little frown, fiddling with a piece of his hair with his right hand. He replies, "I dunno. Never really thought about it." 3c. Chest up of Stede as he mirrors Ed's pose with a fond if slightly amused smile, stairs and forest behind him. Offscreen, Ed continues, "Bet you had a whole scrapbook of ideas, eh?" 3d. Repeat. Stede straightens with a "Well!" and turns his body to face the house. 3e. Knees-up from the house POV as both men lean against the porch railing, the yard, ocean, and brightening sky beginning to streak itself with orange beyond. Stede is facing the viewer, back to the yard, leaning with his elbows braced on the railing. He aims his gaze to the side with a bit of a pained smile and says, "When Mary and I were engaged, a scrapbook wouldn't have been much use." Ed is turned toward Stede, left elbow propped on the railing. He scowls and sticks out his tongue at mention of Mary. 3f. Repeat. Stede turns his head toward Ed, who quickly tucks his petty tongue back in his mouth and schools his expression into one of interest. Stede continues, "Everything had been decided for us already. Never really got to the proposal part."
4a. Repeat. Ed turns his body more fully toward Stede, folding his arms on the railing and leaning his head over them with a warm smile. Stede raises his eyebrows in surprise and goes slightly pink as Ed says, "I'll have to make it really good, then." 4b. Stede turns his body toward Ed, left arm sliding against the railing behind him and right hand cupping Ed's chin as he leans closer, nose to nose. Ed's eyes hood, looking at Stede's mouth as is curls into a loving smile. Stede responds, "Can't wait." 4c. Repeat. Ed suddenly goes pale and blurts out, "You'll say yes, though, right?" Stede freezes in surprise, lips puckered in preparation of a kiss. 4d. Repeat. Stede throws his head back in a loud bark of laughter, straightening up and turning fully toward Ed to cup his cheek in his right hand and his shoulder with the other. Ed aims an embarrassed, besotted smile at him as Stede replies, "Ed, of course! Who could say no to you?"
5a. Repeat, both now in profile. The orange and yellow light of the sunrise is slowly spreading across the sky from the left. Ed straightens up from his lean to bring their foreheads together, still a bit red-cheeked and with a nervous edge to his smile as he lowers his gaze. He says, "You can say no if you want, though." Stede smiles at him with every ounce of tenderness he has, hands firm on his cheek and shoulder. He replies, "There's nothing I want more than to say yes to you, Ed. Permanent ink, remember?" 5b. Repeat. Stede moves his right hand from Ed's cheek to hook around his back, tugging him closer as he leans himself back. Ed stumbles forward with a helpless grin, cheeks even redder, bracing himself with his right hand on Stede's chest. When their eyes meet, Stede's smile turns teasing and faux-sinister, continuing, "You're stuck with me regardless. Foreverrr~" 5c. Repeat, larger and brighter, as Stede and Ed finally come together in an affirming kiss, the land behind them retreating to allow the sea and sky to fill the background. The sun finally breaches the horizon, sending glitter sparkling across the waves and gilding the pair in warm golden light. Ed's right hand is cupping the side of Stede's neck, thumb tracing through his sideburns, and Stede's right is hooked fully around his shoulders, cushioned in his soft hair. They are both smiling into the kiss, unhurried and in harmony.
6a. Repeat as they pull back from the kiss just far enough to meet each other's gaze, arms still around each other, Ed's right hand brushing Stede's cheek and Stede's buried in the back of Ed's hair. Ed smirks flirtatiously, eyes hooded, and says, "You know... I hear there's a traditional engagement sex sabbatical, too." Stede matches his expression, left hand sliding down Ed's shoulder to press against his lower back. Stede replies playfully, "Oh, is there? I suppose I can plan that part, then." 6b. Repeat. Ed brings his left hand up to mirror his right, cupping both of Stede's cheeks, and arches up on his toes to lean over Stede with a teasing grin. His movement forces Stede to arch his back in the first motions of a dip, hands briefly flying free of their grip on his future fiance to try to catch his balance. Their lips a centimeter apart, Ed hums, "Mmm, gimme a rehearsal, first." Stede tosses his head back with a giggle in response, eyes closed, cheeks pink. Hearts float above their heads. 6c. Shot at the bottom of the hill Stede and Ed are stationed on, the packed-dirt path to the house curving upward in the background, the stones and shells now more conservatively scattered. Amidst the tall grass and tropical plants lining the way are handmade wooden signs shaped like arrows pointing the way to the inn. Words carved into them say "this way!" and "best inn!" Pete and Lucius are in the foreground, walking down the hill towards the viewer, Pete's right arm still looped around his husband's shoulders. They still look very tired with dark circles beneath their eyes - Pete still hasn't opened his. Lucius has, barely, and is scowling his way forward with a furrowed brow, declaring, "We are leaving them the worst review." Pete nods solemnly. Text nearby points to them and says 'kept up all night by noises'. Pink hearts and exclamation points spill out behind them from the bend in the path, echoing the lovey-dovey noises from above that must have made their stay so insufferable. /end ID
#ofmd#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#lupete#petelucius#mlm#stede bonnet#ed teach#lucius spriggs#black pete#ofmd s2#ofmd season 2#our flag means death#my art#fanart#fan comic#image described
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only cool people wear this
the official Magster bag + pencil case is FINALLY FINISHEDDD!!! 💟💟 designed by me, and sewed by my awesome mom 💓
I LOVED MAKING THIS! it’s extremely comfortable, spacious and OF COURSE SO GORGEOUS
we’re getting next level canon u guysssss <3
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𝓿𝓸𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓲𝓵 - Mathew Barzal x Reader
Summary: what started as an accidentall voicemial to your ex boyfriend ended up becoming routine and maybe even more TW: none that i can think of
Word count: 3.9k A/N: completely made up game schedule btw
Masterlist Add yoruself to the taglist if you wanna be notified when i post the fic!
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“Hey, it’s Mat.” His voice echoed through the phone, so familiar yet strangely distant now. You’d heard him speak in interviews, but this was different. He was addressing you, or at least the voicemail version of you. “I can’t answer right now, so you know what to do.”
You didn’t know what to do. Calling your ex-boyfriend, the one you had broken up with months ago, wasn’t something you had exactly planned. Yet, when the acceptance email for the program you had worked tirelessly for arrived, the one he had witnessed you pour your heart into, he was the person you wanted to share it with. So that’s what you were doing, trying no to overthink it before nerves got the best of you.
“Mat, hi. This is so random—H-how are you?” Thank God he didn’t answer, you were a stuttering mess leaving a voicemail imagine if it had been him on the other end instead. “I got in! Into the program I mean. I don’t know why, but I wanted to tell you. You helped me so much before—” you cut yourself again. It didn’t feel right to mention the break up like that, but what could you say? Before I broke up with you? Before I stumbled out of your apartment leaving you behind without an explanation?
“Fuck it. I can’t do this.” You pulled your phone away from your ear and touched the red dot.
That’s it. He didn’t need to know, he probably wouldn’t even care. Who would want their ex to call to tell them they were doing great? That maybe after all the breakup was worth it because they had gotten into the program they had neglected their relationship for? Too long, right?
A second later, realization struck like lightning – you had ended the call before deleting the voicemail. It had been sent.
“Oh no, no, no!” you exclaimed, eyes widening in horror. There was no turning back. Mat would undoubtedly hear you stumbling over your words. Why couldn’t you have just left well enough alone? The last thing he needed was you barging back into his life with a pathetic voicemail about something he likely moved on from. ‘He probably already despises me after how everything unfolded, and now this’ you thought.
You were wrong, because no longer than 5 minutes after everything had gone down your phone was buzzing in your hand, Mat’s contact bright in the center as he now waited for you to pick up for a change.
“Mat.” you picked up.
“Hey. You called me?” He sounded confused, for very obvious reasons. Nevertheless it was nice to hear his voice now directed at you.
“Yeah, right. I left you a voicemail.” You rolled your eyes. At least you sounded less nervous than earlier on the voicemail, but it was not less embarrassing.
Mat’s voice came through, cool and collected. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t check. I just saw the missed call and, you know.”
“Sure, sure.” you replied, trying to sound half as calm as he seemed to be with the whole situation.
“Do you want me to hear it or …” his offer hovered in the air.
“No! I mean, I can tell you.” You cringed at the thought of him hearing your rambling voicemail. “So, I called because I just got the mail. I got into the program!”
“Shut up! That’s great! Congratulations!” Mat’s excitement burst through the line. Your heart melted a little. After everything that had happened he sounded genuinely happy for you.
“Thank you, Maty.”
Mat’s tone softened. “You deserve it, after all the hard work you put into it. I knew you’d get it.”
You chuckled, the tension easing. “I know, I know. You told me like a million times. I was just insecure.”
For a second you let yourself imagine this was under other circumstances. You were still together and he was calling you right after practice or from another city in one of his roadies. He’d come back home eventually and hug you so tight you wouldn’t be able to breath, probably lift you up and spin you around a little. You wouldn’t be able to stop laughing and-
“I know …” Mat’s response brought you back to reality. The reality in which he wouldn’t knock on your door with his arms wide open.
His tone carried an easy understanding. He definitely knew about your insecurities. They played a huge role on why your relationship was the way it was right now: nonexistent.
“So that’s what the voicemail said?” He broke the silence.
“Yeah, basically. But you know, all giddy and stuff. Really embarrassing.”
Mat’s laughter grew louder, and you could practically see him shaking his head. “Oh, really? Well, now I have to hear it.”
“No, no, no.” you protested, your embarrassment deepening. “Seriously, don’t Barzal. I know where you live.”
But Mat insisted, his curiosity piqued. “Come on! Embrace the cringe. It can’t be that bad.”
He ended the call before you could object anymore, only to call you back a minute later. Mat’s laughter erupted again as soon as you picked up, and you couldn’t help but join in, the shared humor dissipating the lingering awkwardness. If you closed your eyes you could almost picture him with that scrunched up nose as he laughed.
“The ‘fuck it, i can’t do this’ was the best part by far.”
-
The familiar buzz of the MSG postgame show filled the cozy confines of your living room as Mat’s name flashed brightly on your phone, catching you off guard. Shannon and Hickey were in full praise mode, replaying Mat’s epic goal on loop, and there he was, the main attraction, waiting on the other end of the line for you to pick up.
You fumbled for your phone, a grin tugging at the corners of your lips as you swiped to answer. “Hey, I didn’t expect your call.” you remarked, the commentator’s voices still ringing in your ears.
“Bad timing?” Mat’s voice crackled through the phone, a hint of breathlessness underscoring his words – probably still riding the adrenaline high from the ice.
“No, no. It’s just that a second ago you were on my screen falling all over the ice.” you teased, imagining his less-than-graceful moments on the rink.
“I don’t fall that much!” he argued, sounding mildly offended.
“You do, but you also score, so it’s forgiven. Congrats on your almost hatty, by the way.” You chuckled, knowing how much he loathed falling a goal short. Always so hard on himself.
Mat scoffed, clearly annoyed at missing the mark. “So, you watched tonight?”
“Obviously, I watch every game I can catch.” you replied, the excitement of the game still coursing through your veins. The thrill of watching Mat succeed, even from a distance, even after all that happened, was undeniable.
“You should come, you know. I’m sure the girls would love to see you.” Mat suggested, his voice tinged with a hint of longing.
“I don’t know, Mat. It’s not my place anymore.” you hesitated, letting the uncertainty hang in the air. You had to change the subject before your mind started spiraling. “Anyway, why did you call?”
“Oh, right. I listened to your voicemail again!”
“So you called to tell me you haven’t actually deleted it like you promised?”
“I heard it right before the game and got 2 goals and 2 assists. I think it’ll become my new pregame ritual, honestly.” Mat admitted, his voice softer now, laced with a hint of nostalgia. Why had he chosen to hear it? That’s something he would save for himself for now. The shared memories of your past flitted between you, unspoken but palpable.
“Really? Want me to send embarrassing voicemails before every game?”
“I’d love it. Yes, please.” Mat replied with a laugh, the warmth of his laughter washing over you like a comforting embrace. The playful banter held a certain intimacy, a bridge between past flames and the uncharted territory of what lay ahead.
The banter flowed seamlessly, a blend of shared history and the current moment. The familiarity was comforting, but the unspoken complexities of your past lingered in the air, a delicate tension.
-
NYI vs. TBL - November 5th
“Hey, Barzy. I don’t know if you were joking or not but here’s your pregame embarrassing voicemail as solicited. You weren’t serious, right? Well fuck it, enjoy it or ignore me whatever.”
NYI vs. CGY - November 7th
“Just walked past that coffee shop where we had our third or fourth date I think. Remember how you choked over your latte when I lied and said I loved the Rangers?”
NYI vs. SEA - November 9th
“Hey, you won’t believe who I just saw. That guy that lives in the building across the street, the one that has your face tattooed on his left arm. He asked about you, told me to wish you good luck. So good luck from him … and from me. Good luck tonight.”
NYI vs. VAN - November 11th
“Hi! Your sister told me your family is going tonight, so send them a kiss from me, ok? … I-I keep in touch with her, I don’t know if you knew that or like maybe I should’ve told you? Are you ok with that? I’m sorry I just assumed you would be. Anyway, good luck! Say hi from me! Or don’t if you don’t want to-”
NYI vs. NYR - November 16th
“Dude. Rangers tonight. Don’t mess it up. May have bet on you guys with a guy from work, I don’t wanna have to pay for his lunch tomorrow. Please. Good luck, 13.”
NYI vs. PIT - November 18th
“Shit, shit, shit. Hope you can hear this before the game. I’m still getting used to the program’s schedule and all of that, I’m kind of a mess right now. Anyway, good luck!”
NYI vs. DET - November 20th
“Maty, hi! I know this is kind of dumb because I saw you like 10 minutes ago and I’m in the building but still thought I should leave the voicemail just in case. (Come on!) Ok I have to go, Sydney has a tone of gossip to catch me up on. Good luck!”
NYI vs. DAL - November 23th
“Hello Mr Barzal, I won’t be able to watch tonight, but still good luck! Even if you don’t win, I hope you score a goal, make an assist. That 8 game point streak you have going on is insane. I think I’ll start charging you for this if they are working so well.Good luck Barzy!”
NYI vs. STL - November 26th
“Hey! First of all, good luck! Second, I left my scarf at the Lee’s last night. It’s red, I was wearing it when you picked me up. Grace said Anders would give it to you tonight. Maybe we can meet for coffee tomorrow so you can give it back? Anyway, good luck!”
NYI vs. CHI - November 28th
“13, hello! I don’t have anything funny to tell you today so just good luck! Love you- shit, sorry. Habit I guess. Bye.”
NYI vs. NYR - November 30th
“You have zero new voicemails. To record a new personal greeting press one-”
-
You tried everything to get your mind off it, but it wasn’t working. The cup of tea was now cold in your hand and you couldn’t even pretend to care what was going on in the movie you had playing on your tv. The game had ended an hour ago but it was on replay in your mind.
It was silly to think it was your fault. You couldn’t influence the score of the match, the 5-1 loss against the Rangers wasn’t on you. However the outcome would’ve been different if their starplayer hadn’t been taking stupid penalties, losing the puck, causing turnovers. That could be on you partially.
The bell ringing caught you by surprise, almost dropping the cold tea. You got up to answer, even though you had a feeling you knew who was waiting by your building’s door.
“Hello?”
“It’s me.” The familiar voice needed no introduction.
“Mat? What are you doing here?”
“Buzz me in.” he requests, and you could practically hear the determination in his tone. With a resigned sigh, you pressed the buzzer, knowing full well he wouldn’t leave until he got what he came for.
A few moments later, a knock sounded at the door, and you found yourself face to face with him. Determination was bright in his eyes, your heart started racing.
“What’s going on?” He rolled his eyes, clearly not impressed by your attempt at pretending not to know why he’s there.
“You didn’t leave a voicemail.” Mat strided in without waiting for an invitation, and the unspoken tension was palpable.
“Right, that. I guess I forgot. Sorry.” you lied, trying to sound convincing but knowing there’s no use, he’d know. You closed the door behind him almost instinctively, as if shutting out the forthcoming emotional storm that’s about to break in your apartment.
“You’ve been sending me a voicemail before every single game for the past month.” he remarked, his gaze keenly picking up on your avoidance. Frustration started to take over. He already had been in this position before, begging you for explanations and all you did was look away. “Please, don’t shut me out. Not again.”
“I got confused, okay? Why are we doing this? I’m your ex-girlfriend, I broke up with you, Mat. And now I’m going to your games and sending you voicemails every game? What even is this?”
At some point you started walking all over the living room, the distress was clear. Mat was better at hiding it, he stood still by the door like he had been since he walked in, but you could see his hands fidgeting. Neither of you had a clear head to take on what was about to come, chaos was inevitable.
“I don’t know, but I thought you liked this. I thought it was like an inside joke, our own thing.”
“It was that. But you’re not supposed to have that with your ex.” you said, trying to emphasize the last word for him, as if a reminder of your status would help the situation in any way.
“We’re friends?” He furrowed his brows, and, had it not been for the situation you were in, you would’ve laughed at the way even he sounded so unsure of what he was saying.
“Mat, come on. It’s confusing, I know I was getting confused. It started with the voicemails, which was already something, but then we’re talking every day, I’m going to your games again and team’s gatherings, we’re hanging out again. I said ‘I love you’ on my last one!” You finally looked at him, baring it all. There was only one solution in your mind and it had to be taken no matter the pain it would undoubtedly cost you. “I think it’s better if we stop.”
There was a moment of silence, he looked at you as if trying to read through the wall you were hiding behind. Trying to decipher if it was you speaking or your insecurities had taken over again. Most importantly, trying to figure out if this time he had what it took to get to you before he lost you.
“I don’t want it to stop.” he said, determination clear in his voice. In a second he closed the gap between you. The proximity caught you off guard, you couldn’t remember the last time you were this close. “Tell me you don’t feel anything.” It sounded almost like a beg, but he didn’t care.
“We broke up.” you insisted, trying to sound all resolute.
“You broke up with me.” he corrected you, his gaze holding steady, slicing through your defenses.
“We weren’t working, Mat! We could barely see each other, and when we did, we were too tired or stressed. We fought a lot. We broke up.” It sounded almost childish the way you stubbornly persisted on it, like you needed to reassure yourself more than him how things had played out last time.
“Couples fight sometimes; it’s normal. I was stressed about the playoffs, and you were stressed about getting into the program. It was a bad moment, yes, but that’s over.”
“Other problems are gonna come up.”
“We can face them together, we fight and make up. That’s it, that’s how couples work.”
You paused for a second, it made no sense to keep on repeating yourself. It seemed like he had a solution for every obstacle you presented. He had come here for answers, it was time to give them to him even if you were answering older already forgotten questions.
“I was scared, Mat. I was scared and insecure, and it felt like I was ruining it all.” Tears start rolling down your face and there’s nothing he wants more than to hug you, keep you close to his chest, push the pain away; but he knows he shouldn’t. You’re finally letting down your guard, telling him what he’s been dying to hear for months; he has to give you space to be vulnerable. “I thought it was better to break things up before they got really nasty.” your voice wobbled.
“I get it, I really do. But you could’ve told me and I should’ve been more present, not left you alone to deal with our problems. We could’ve tried to make it work. ” He looked deep into your eyes, his own reflecting a mix of understanding and unwavering love. “I know I loved you more than enough to work through it.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about how I ended things, and I’m sorry about the voicemail and all the mess I’ve caused.” You tried to walk away from him, the proximity being too much, but he caught your arm making you face him once again.
Tears started streaming down his face as you tried to grapple with the weight of your own decisions. He looked you in the eyes, the determination from earlier is still there, even behind the tears those glossy eyes told you he wasn’t gonna leave in silence like last time. This time he had to leave it all out, even if he ended up hurt in the process.
“When you first called me I was too nervous to answer so I let it go to voicemail. I think even then I knew it wasn’t over for me, I knew hearing your voice would bring it all back.” You winced, acutely aware of the emotional turmoil you’ve caused. What you didn’t know was he wasn’t worried about pain coming back; what worried him was all the love he had for you and had pushed away after the break up coming back and once again not having where to put it.
“But then I wanted to hear you, the real you, not the voicemail, so I called you. I cannot tell you how happy it made me to hear you, like my heart was beating again after months of numbness. And you were telling me this great news, when you got that acceptance letter you wanted to tell me.” he continued, and you released a heavy breath, a half-smile forming on your face. He was right, the first person you wanted to share your triumph with was him, you hadn’t thought much about it back then but no it was so clear.
“I replayed your voicemail before the game that first time because I wanted to hear your voice. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I heard you over the phone earlier that day, and all I wanted was to hear you again talking to me.” he confessed, a mixture of vulnerability and longing in his words. “At first I thought maybe I was making it up, you know? Maybe it was just my unresolved feelings, maybe there was nothing going on. But you called me first and then you kept on sending the voicemails. Things were going back to the way they were before. It felt like I was me again, like we were us again.”
Mat smiled thinking how everyone could notice; his friends, his teammates, his family, everyone could see the old Mat was back. He told them off, too afraid to consider you were all he was missing because he knew he didn’t have you back, not yet.
His hand gently cupped your face, sending a shiver down your spine. Closing your eyes, you leaned into his touch. You missed it, there was no denying it anymore. You missed it all too much—his touch, his voice, his energy, his very presence. Him.
“You said ‘I love you’ on the last voicemail. I replayed it like 20 times at least, just to hear those three words. From you, to me.” The weight of those three words hung in the air between the two of you after so long, it was electrifying. Your heart raced; he was about to say it, and you yearned to hear it.
“I love you.” he declared, and there was no ambiguity this time. It wasn’t a recall of your words; this time, it was his confession to you.
“Maty…” was all you managed to say; his nickname laden with tenderness and echoes of old fears that still lingered.
“I want this. I want you even if I can only see you two times a week and even if half that time you are studying or working or stressing over both. I want to be there with you. I want to fight and make up. I want all of it, the messy and ugly included.”
“I love you.” you finally whispered.
It was over. He loved you, you loved him, and there was nothing left to say.
In that breath-holding moment, he leaned down, his lips finally touching yours. It’s not just a kiss; it’s a wild ride through forgiveness, longing, and the silent agreement to dive back into the messy and the beautiful, hand in hand. He was smiling into the kiss, so were you. The taste of salt from their tears lingered, mingling with the sweetness of the moment. The kiss spoke of second chances and the magic of beginnings, a promise to rewrite the story that had once unraveled.
You pulled away, breathless and teary-eyed, yet a radiant joy painted across your faces. You laughed, a melody of relief and newfound hope. One of his hands was on your back as the other traveled from your face to the back of your head, pulling you against his chest. Your arms hugged his torso tight.
“I love you.” he mumbled against your head before placing a kiss on top.
-
NYI vs. MTL - December 1st
“Hey! Good luck tonight babe-”
“I don’t think it counts if I’m literally next to you when you record it.”
“Shush. Who’s the voicemail expert here? Me. Anyway, as I was saying before you interrupted me: good luck tonight, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
-
soooooo it’s here! hope you like it! like and reblogs are always appreciated!
it felt so good to write again and to share it too, hope i have more time this year to write more stuff
taglist:
@glassdanse @2manytabsopen @barbienoturbby @sweetlittlegingy @mcsteamylove98 @ttylfedora @chieflawyerpastatoad @iwantahockeyhimbo @fallinallincurls @jordiee95 @heatherawoowoo @barzysreputation @farabeezers @4ambagelbites @matwith1t @audryaho @maximoff-xmen @astrydis @joelsfarabees @bitchforbarzy @deloughrey @brias1201 @besthockeyfics @ya-pucking-nerd @hoiyheadharpies @mckenna4 @rosesvioletshardy @hockeyunits @siriusly-parker @ilyasorokinn @lam-ila @boqvistsbabe @theycallmecassie @ephemeral371 @hal3ynicol3 @angelblooddevil @besthockeyfics @beauvertime @picked-off-by-barzal @1316 @cherrygirl1229 @lunabean @random-readers-world @poufsouffle21 @barzysbaby @matbarzal13 @alwaysclassyeagle @wanbach23 @evaggreendaily
#mat barzal#mathew barzal#mat barzal imagine#mat barzal imagines#mat barzal fic#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal one shot#mat barzal fluff#mathew barzal imagine#mathew barzal imagines#mathew barzal one shot#mathew barzal x reader#mathew barzal fic#hockey#hockey fic#hockey fanfic#hockey imagine#nhl fic#nhl imagine#nhl fanfiction#nhl imagines#isles imagine#new york islanders imagine
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Updated Resource List: UI Edition (Updated 11/10/24)
This is all the mods in my downloads folder that changes the game UI and makes it look better on modern display, removes annoyances etc. My old resource list only listed 3 which have since been replaced.
I play on a 2k monitor with the game set to 1080p with the default UI because I like the nostalgic look.
If you use cleanUI by @greatcheesecakepersona, then many of the widescreen fixes are already included! Many of these also have an alternative version made for cleanUI.
Loading screen replacement:
UC loading screen by @eddysims replace the Fun With Pets logo and removes idle M&G sims on select menu (I use an older version to match the Super Collection for mac, but have combined with this to remove the idle sims).
UC startup strings by @simsllama replace the M&G text strings while loading to fit Ultimate Collection.
M&G to UC program name replacement (MTS) changes the program name to say Ultimate Collection on taskbar, when closing the game and in credits. I use the old original Sims 2 icon in start menu.
More UI mods below my loading screen.
Removed or disabled buttons:
No delete button in Sim Bin by Chris Hatch avoid accidentially deleting a family in the neighborhood.
No delete button in Buy/Build mode by Chris Hatch. I prefer to delete cc in the downloads folder instead.
Edited No useless town buttons by ePSYlord. Removes the AL, FT and Pets buttons from upper select menu in hood view. It also disables Custom Content Browser button to the old sims2 webpage, the camera and video buttons which I never use but always accidentially click.
Removed Auto Login button by ePSYlord. Removes the redundant option in settings.
No delete button in CAS, edited More Columns in CAS by ePSYlord. This is an edit of Chris Hatch's ui mod (cas300Extra) that adds the columns while also removing delete button from all categories. I had difficulty getting it to work for me, but managed after changing load order and removing specific cc hairs.
Remove hood popup dialog box reoploaded on MATY. No more nagging to add subhoods when entering a neighborhood.
Visual annoyances begone:
No CC icon in CAS (MTS) hides the star on custom content.
No pause frame by @simnopke removes the red frame from live, buy and build mode.
Add store icon to CAS by @jawusa. Restore the TS2 Store Edition icon on store content which can all be found here.
Widescreen fixes:
Wider change appearance by Chris Hatch.
Wider buy/plan outfits by Chris Hatch.
Wider family tree by SixAM!
Wider design tool by @lamare-sims.
Wider collections by Chris Hatch.
Menu fixes or addons:
Subhood selection by Mootilda changes menu from big button to list of selections instead. Useful if playing with multiple subhoods.
Select your cemetery (MTS) adds dialog box to move tombstones if all sims on a lot die.
Baby Last Name Chooser by @midgethetree adds dialog box to choose a baby's last name when born.
Marriage Last Name Chooser (MTS) adds dialog box to choose last name after sims gets married.
Misc. UI changes:
Clearer need bars by simnopke. It just looks nicer.
Season icons in color (MTS). Replace the blue with colorful icons.
LTW icons fixed by Lamare. Resizes the Life Time Wants icons to be consistent.
I think that was everything concerning the user interface in my game. A lot more than anticipated and most added in the last year or so. My game looks so nice now!
If you have other UI mods or dialog box addons that isn't on the list, then please leave a suggestion for me 🥰
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Hail Sai Mati
Hail to the Keeper of the Book of Wisdom Hail to the One who records the names of the just and righteous in the Book of Praise Hail to the Holy One who is guardian of the path of wisdom Bless and guide us this day
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once again reminding certain individuals: trying to scare me into pretending the thing you want me to pretend is true........... doesnt make it true, now does it
#like if you really gotta force it like that lmao...#i mean whatever. yall dumbasses can kill me over lie it wont stop you from being shit sucking dipshits lmao#not gonna suddenly make your fave the uwu innocent person you wanna believe they are.#trust me babe. i wanted to believe it to. but alas.#some people truly just tell you what you wanna hear to get whatever they want out of you :/#tragic that they choose to be bad people. oh well. not my karma lmao.#oh and uhh-- being really angry at me and thinking im cringe and even my past which im sure you'll label as rightwing even though theirs#is way WAY more so- STILL doesn't make their lies true!#me being 'a bad person' like you wanna believe i am doesn't suddenly make their lies true!#doesnt suddenly undo what they did to me! kinda not how it works asshole!#which is why i say: yall only believe the victims you like.#imma keep yelling the truth even when im shaking in fear of the fact people wil lstone me for- GOD FORBID- ever suggesting mati did#something wrong and needs to actually introspect on why they suck so they can actually fucking change and not hurt people#idgaf what your past was like! not an excuse my good cunt!
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