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Reddit is genuinely hell I posted in the long covid sub about how ever since having my 5th bout of covid Iāve felt pretty much nothing and Iām still doing activities and stuff but I feel numb and blunt and like my emotions are buried under 6 ft of snow and I replied to a comment saying this isnāt anhedonia I know what it feels like and now I woke up to a cascade of downvotes and comments berating me for challenging everyone elseās definition of anhedonia and being condescending blah blah blah
When the whole time I wasnāt challenging their definition, I was saying I donāt have what their definition is. Now I get why no one trusts the entire field of psychology, psych professionals are pompous and self important and outright belligerent about it sometimes.
Anyway, thanks to the single person who said āit sounds like what op has is emotional blunting rather than anhedoniaā and was ignored by every other person in the thread
#like I was in the field and I feel like I wasnāt like that.. but now I donāt know.#you canāt insist you know someoneās diagnosis from a couple paragraphs of text. you canāt without context and an evaluation of other symptom#s etc#like. holy hell I still have interest in my normal activities and Iām getting something out of them Iām just numb and neutral. not bad or#good
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morning glory
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuuji#i cant even bring myself 2 b salty about No Megu part 4546768 bc oh my GOD#YUUJI RLY OUT HERE LOOKIN LIKE FALLEN ANGEL ALEXANDER CABANEL 1847 GEGE AKUTAMI THE ARTIST U ARE#we're so blessed we're so lucky this panel is ART i ran 2 open csp the moment i saw it#SO many s tier yuuji panels this chapter tbh but this. i dont think ill ever b over it#god im giddy im fangirling a little bit looking at it#i don't talk enough abt how Good of an artist gege is his expressions r masterful#it's incredible how much emotion he packs into stares n glances n gazes#and ESPECIALLY with yuuji there is so much weight and emotion and intensity in his eyes in every gd panel#king legend visionary etc etc etc does this man EVER turn it off ????#i honestly dont think i did the original panel justice its That good his gaze is That chilling#but i certainly tried my best :'> sampled colours directly from th fallen angel painting itself n it made the blues pop rly well#anyway if im sukuna im crawling back 2 him hands and knees give him back his boyfriend hes not here 2 play anymore FGHFGJSD
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edit (10/23/2024) now that the poll is over: Original version, with 10 questions, from April 2023 here
And, given that the original is from April 2023, that means I can very easily say:
No, this was not an ISAT reference!
Just because I use parentheses and 2nd person pov and love the same concepts of what a time loop can do to a person doesn't mean it's ISAT
(Yes, I like ISAT, the original poll is why I was recommended the game! But if you look at the original, you can see all the origins of the options to choose from, including what spurred me on with the moss option from the replies)
If I were going to make something for ISAT, I would never be so vague, you can simply look at my ao3 for proof of that
#egg speaks#writing#polls#my writing#egg writes#my polls#poetry#time loops#listen I want to run this again#time loop poll#<- check that tag on my blog for the original 10 option version lmao#unreality#you know I didn't think I'd get fed up with people making isat jokes about this#I thought it'd be like oh hey neat same hat#we both like the same game#but people keep going āoh this is JUST an ISAT referenceā#as if it's not a genuine work of creativity I did myself. it feels a bit devaluing#āop you played isatā yes but that came after the original!!!!!#I KNOW it's not meant like that but I want people to engage in my work as its own thing. you can make jokes about similar media!!!#but this is it's own thing!!!!#I want people to like it for what it is. I want people to enjoy it outside of other media. I want it to stand on its own#I'm flattered someone said it was good enough that they think it could be narration from the game and read just as well!!!!#but like. idk. all the other medias popping up (pmmm. orv. higurashi. etc) aren't people calling it a /reference/#if I wanted it to be an ISAT reference I would have tagged it originally. I would have targeted it toward ISAT fans more intentionally.#I love fanworks but this was an ode to time loops alone. I wanted people to think. to have to CHOOSE. I wanted PARTICIPATION#time loops as a narrative and as horror and as a group activity via polls on tumblr. also s/o to the person who said 40 hr work week so tru
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it is completely understandable to be uncomfortable with the sexual assault in dandadan. it's important to discuss how it's framed, whether it's handled poorly, or if it could be been portrayed better. but the number of people - even fans - stating that it is only fanservice, irrelevant, or could be removed is frankly bizarre to for SO many reasons, starting with the fact that this parallel exists.
the anime made it even more obvious by interpolating cuts from the first scene into the second one.
i thought this scene showed that momo gaining her powers by believing in her relationship with her grandmother gives her the strength to fight back against what is basically a horrific, much more aggressive and abstract (maybe even absurd?) representation of her shitty gross ex - who was demanding she 'put out' and pay for the love hotel in very first scene.
while the escalation from one scene to the next is surprising, it's not something that comes out of nowhere. this first scene is meant to be a set-up to what will happen later. it sets the tone, though significantly more lighthearted at this point. it tells you that sex, sexuality, etc. is something dandadan will touch on - though you don't know what the scope and depth will be until later in the chapter.
i cannot recommend this video enough, as it discusses some interesting interpretations of what the serpoians and turbo granny represent in their respective assault scenes, as well as how right now the treatment of both scenes is unfortunately uneven.
more notes about plot and thematic relevance below the cut. spoilers for anime-onlies (up to chapter 8, will probably be covered in episodes 4/5).
momo was assaulted, and almost cut up by the serpoians, much like the other victims turbo granny appeared around. this is an intentional parallel. turbo granny goes to momo because that is what she does. again, SUPER unclear how that factors into turbo granny's assault of ken, but if we keep the video's interpretation of cynicism in mind, it could be related to that; maybe turbo granny has a cynicism toward men - similar to momo in chapter/episode 1 - and this is why she chose to attack ken. unfortunately, it's still too early to really understand and explain a lot of her motivations.
again, completely understandable to not like how the sexual assault was handled or portrayed, and it's important to keep discussing it. but this is what dandadan does for many different types of trauma and difficult life experiences. this is a huge part of dandadan's identity. if you don't like it, that is fine, but calling the sexual assault 'just fan service' is blatantly untrue.
#dandadan#L.txt#long post#dandadan analysis#< i guess? š#discussdadan#sorry for this kinda sloppy post but i need it out bc i feel like im losing my mind#this is not even ''''''''''a defense''''''''''' of the s/a i think it's really important to discuss framing/handling/etc etc#but some of the discourse arising from the first episode is maddening and is thoroughly not helped by ppl being weird/assholes abt it#you dont ''''''have to like it'''''' (< what does that even mean??) or keep reading it or literally anything#this is just a basic 'please engage w the text'
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more mash nonsense i've been accumulating. yes i can draw things that are not bj and hawkeye sometimes. that being said nsfw(?) beejhawk under the cut
#tho im not gonna lie most of these were requests for friends/thank you sketches etc. sorry for being beejhawkpilled š#mash#m.a.s.h#m*a*s*h#beejhawk#bj hunnicutt#hawkeye pierce#trapper mcintyre#margaret houlihan#maxwell klinger#father mulcahy#NOT writing down his full name. we're not close like that.#henry blake#and his asscrack
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#all caps#we're shouting tonight#gif warning#glitter text#rainbow#idek how to tag this one i think it'll find its audience. feel free to plaster on ur + ur friends donation posts etc#bloggif.com#porky s font#42px#2px outline#1px shadow#fag#dyke#queer
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell š#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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#sctir#the s classes that i raised#s classes that i raised#tsctir#sung hyunjae#jinjae#han yoojin#han yoohyun#peace sclasses#diarma#kang soyoung#song taewon#songseong#no one ever tells you that in order to edit funny posts with your blorbos you need to crawl through many chapters of a manhwa you gave up#reading months ago to find thematically appropriate pictures of said blorbos#but it's okay because I do this (shitposting) for the love of it#it's so much and it's dishonest work etc.
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show of admiration for the most handsome man in penacony~
#they make me so ILL#soft sunturine... save me...#i feel like sunday has a weak spot for hand/knuckle kisses#jus generally a hand oriented guy#holding hands? hell yeah#placing soft kisses on his s/o hands?? even better etc#i love biohazard yaoi but i need them to be soft and happy#sunday hsr#hsr#honkai star rail#star rail#hsr sunday#penacony#aventurine honkai star rail#honkai star rail fanart#sunday honkai star rail#sunturine#sunven#avenday#aventurine#aventurine hsr#hsr aventurine
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old college pals
#tvb#the venture bros#vbros#pete white#billy quizboy#billy whalen#rusty venture#i've wanted to draw college pete for soooooo long#and i've wanted to draw him in 80's punk/goth outfits for almost as long#so it made sense to put them together lol#also the comics are#incorrect quotes#source: spaced#source: good girls#art tag#fanart#also i know they didn't actually go to college together that long but i like to pretend play with me etc
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Gandalf said ādo not offer me thatā, Galadriel said āI would be a queen, great and terrible,ā but Elrond said āget that the fuck away from meā and this is nonsensical.
The other keepers of the elven rings were most challenged by the One, why not Elrond? Is his struggle merely hidden? Is it his Maia blood? Is it simply his mixed blood? Is that why Aragorn withstood, too?
Canonically the race of men are most easily corrupted, yet Elrond half-elven, who is almost 40% man, doesnāt notably bat an eyelash. Why?
#Probably by virtue of his strange upbringing Elrond received a measure of every talent there is to be given#everything from the magic of his foremother Luthien to the supreme skill and knowledge of his foster fathers.. which makes him remarkable#But what does that make him compared to Sauron? Elrond is obviously Special with a capital S#One goes so far as to say he is the weapon the entire first age was about forging; he and elros#And in Arwen almost every ethnic group of elves and men ever finally converge#And in some time perhaps Eriol is the final descendant of this line#but thatās a different myth#Yet I canāt help but feel its essential to understanding the resounding movement of Tolkienās pieces#however unfinished they may be..#Anyway#lotr#lotr fotr#lord of the rings#the council of elrond#Elrond#elrond peredhil#Tolkien#jrr tolkien#silm references#Silm#lotr headcanons#middle earth#lotr hc#tolkien headcanons#tolkien lore#elven rings of power#Etc.
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The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. Iāve said for a long while that Eddieās real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that weāre gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because itās Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasnāt around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. Itās why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesnāt need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgƤnger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - itās part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helenaās parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isnāt the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. Itās why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely donāt see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe theyāll find a way š¤·š»āāļø#Helenaās treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddieās queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all itās horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helenaās good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20ās. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - āwill also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddieās arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz itās on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
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mv2 is crazy when you think abt the implications of v1 and mirage basically almost being the same people like yeah idk. like im not saying theyre the same people but do you think that when v2 looks at mirage they catch a glimpse of their previous rival and the thrill of the battle and their eventual defeat and death. do you think that v2ās shoulder socket aches a bit more every time they look into mirageās lens. do you think that v2 would be imagining v1 in mirageās place for a split second when theyre in bed and mirage doesnt have her clothes on. guys uh
#mv2#mirage ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#v2 ultrakill#v4v implied#v4v#again im not dumb ik mirage and v1 arent the same#but still. still.#im actually the king of v4m4v#i dont ship v1 and mirage tho#i just dont really see how their personalities would mesh#mv2 works because v2ās personality is basically almost human#(at least thats how it is in dect)#but v1ās a straight up force of nature#thats a hard dynamic to bounce off romantically against someone like mirage lol#im sure someone out there can make it work but im not particularly interested in exploring it#instead i like to think about v1 and mirageās connection through the lens of v2ās relationship with both#v2 works against v1 because theyre both passionate about fighting the same battle#v2 works well with mirage because she helps bring out their human side#etc#whateverrr#suggestive#for that last comment
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THEE audiodrama disguised as podcast
#sherlock and co#s&co#sherlock holmes#john watson#mariana ametxazurra#Ive been thinking abt these design SO much lmao. even while doing other things#decided to take cues from acd/granada more. hence sherlock's headband to mimic slicked back hair#and I went with Colors bc. well first of all Im a clown. but second of all I recall some stuff abt victorian fabrics and uh. the wonder of#arsenic green etc#they were enjoying the colors I can commit to some#and. okay Im so real with u Im also a long haired john truther bc he has a podcast of course he'd have long hair but#I think its gonna take a Hot minute. currently this is still like the slightly-grown-out regulation cut#john's jacket is bc he and sherlock are 90s kids. this was a moment of enlightenment to me. I can give john every windbreaker on earth#mariana gets the jean jacket bc I like to imagine she's a y2k kid#(sherlock I think is only 90s kid in year of birth that man's childhood was skipping class to burn shit in the wood)#(but he canonically sews which I fucking love so much. he has not bought new clothes for almost a decade#if a shirt's disintegrating no it isn't. not on his watch)#a lil sad I cant figure out how to give them hats lol I feel like thats the most victorian thing there is. a stupid hat#I can at any moment give one of them a beanie. but I refuse#there are. like a Hoard of other scribbly sketches I did to get used to drawing them. but those are for me those are not for the public#and also theyre in my sketchbook and Im too lazy to scan them#happened mostly during lunar new year lol. I was getting Hard whipped then thank u s&co for carrying me thru#ok I do other things now. have this for a while ok? thank u#have a good night lads. enjoy motion
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Meowdy Saint š¼
I got goth vibes and so does my AngelOC, Elodie. So it's funny to imagine this pink boy who is secretly an emo boy in disguise next to a wednesday addams esque babe lmao. Poor boy miscalculated, I like that there was an option to be like 'Oh I like that goth style' at the cafe.
But this raises a question! Would he drop the Ren persona and aesthetic if he realized it wasn't totally necessary?
āā„ā This has been answered multiple times in the past, but yes, he'd drop the light academia aesthetic if Angel wasn't into it! ^^
However, from a game dev standpoint, it'd be extremely difficult for me to include a bunch of types and aesthetics in hopes of making Ren's appearance feel more inclusive for everyone, so it's easier for me to say, "Oh, Angel likes this one anime character" and build the lore around that.
So, for those who like Ren'sĀ realĀ appearance and would've preferred if he introduced himself as [REDACTED] (instead of his Haruko persona), I hear you!! ^^
But please understand that if that were the case, the 14DWY storyline would be a lot less interesting and would defeat the entire purpose of Ren's motives. A big part of his characterisation is that he's more than willing to alter every part of himself to become Angel's ideal type, and if their type happened to be [REDACTED], then it'd make the buildup to his reveal in Day ??? feel far less anticlimactic.
#š ā answered.#š ā 14 days with queue.#š ā about ren.#kazefiend#Drawing Ren with multiple hairstyles is already A Lotā¢ļø for me#so you can only imagine what will happen once [REDACTED] comes into da picture lmao#I don't think this is something players think about; but I have to draw both Ren AND [REDACTED] variations of CGs to compensate forā#āeach choice the player makes. E.g: choosing long haired Ren but [REDACTED]'s fit; short haired Ren with his normal fit; normal hair withā#ā[REDACTED]'s personality but Ren's normal fit; etc.#There's a lot goin on behind the scenes so I (unfortunately) can't add variations in outfit/personality styles#Sorry for ranting!! I get this question (and other very similar ones) a lot; but folks tend to skip over the pinned post T_T
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it youāre lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
Sheās whatās tethering him do you seeā¦ And heās the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
Theyāre both so out of it š Itās the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? Theyāre each otherās weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though sheās also the guard attack hound keeping him safeā¦ And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. Theyāre both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They canāt perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked. We both havenāt lived for ourselves in a very long time, havenāt we.
They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it itās ok heās not all alone in the end šš He reached out for Marcilleās hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, itās okay Iām okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because theyāre h-u-n-g-r-yĀ ššš
I bet heās only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him theyāre tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistlesā¦... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you canāt suppress her in the way that matters. You canāt soothe him in the way that matters. Itās doomed. Youāre doomed. Itās all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#Iām seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that itās gonna get you killed#Itās good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc heās bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT ITāS WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasnāt socialized in a long#time and he wouldnāt if it wasnāt a tool he needed to interact with BUT itās still socialization and itās getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#Howās that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY theyāre so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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