#rosekiller babysitting harry

[billsbae]

barty and harry: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

barty: we need an adult!!

harry: uncle barty you're an adult!

barty: we need an adultier adult! go get you're father

harry: DAAAAAD!!

barty: no, no this one, we need regulus

harry: PAPAAAAAA

[venus-sqturn]

headcanon that whenever jegulus goes out on a date, they have barty and evan watch harry.

but harry is a VERY complicated kid. when i say complicated i dont mean he cries every two seconds, no. he wants things done in a VERYYY cleancut manner. his apples have to be cut up into cute shapes, he has a tea party and the dress code is very strict, whenever he watches cartoons he has to have a snack beside him. (if he isn’t what he likes, he won’t eat it.)

hes a nice kid, just likes things in a specific way. all hell breaks loose when they give him FROZEN waffle fries for a snack instead of the ones from the diner across the street.

[noblehouseofgay]

Home Alone

Rosekiller microfic

Little Luna and implied pandalily

Home Alone au

Dedicated to these freaks that I am very emotionally attached to, Merry Xmas guys: @shouldhavebeenarockstar @allonsy-moony @maraudering-times @marauders-brain-rot @caiizawa @hexa-ro @drowninkystar @the1970sdeadgaywizard-regulus

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Quiet chatter filled the winter night air as Barty and Evan walked up to the door.

"No but it was funny because Regulus was-" Barty paused when he realized his key wouldn't go into the lock. "That's strange." He tried again as Evan used his phone light to check it.

"It looks- it looks sealed." Even stood back up. Their eyes widened as they looked at each other.

"Home Alone."

Last week, Pandora had invited everyone over for a movie night. They had watched Home Alone and even that night they could tell Luna had loved the movie.

Now, on a night they expected to be an easy babysitting night, they had been cast as the wet bandits and had to get into this booby trapped house.

Luna was a clever kid.

It wouldn't be easy.

Or safe.

Evan knocked on the door. "Lunes? It's us. Can we come in?"

Nothing.

Barty sighed. "I'll try the back door, you wait here." Evan nodded and Barty made his way around the back of the house.

"Looney Tunes? It's Uncle Bat." He grabbed the door knob and immediately yelped in pain. "Fuck! Luna!" The metal had been electric somehow and had completely zapped his hand. Barty shook his hand, trying to gain back feeling in it.

"Luna we have to come in eventually!" He shook his head, looking for his next option.

🥀

Meanwhile back out front, Evan had gotten a window open, he climbed inside carefully. He watched where his feet stepped, making sure to not step on the toy cars below him. He scoffed. "Those aren't even Luna's those are Harry's."

He managed to stand on solid ground unscathed, but he didn't think to look up until a bucket of freezing cold water came crashing down on his head. "Oh fuck-" Evan tried to dodge but it was no use. If he stepped wrong he'd slip, so he simply accepted his icy fate.

He groaned and rubbed his head. "Oh you are so grounded when I find you, kid."

💀

Barty had managed to pry the door open after ten minutes of trying. He slammed it open, looking around. He carefully stepped inside the cellar. As he went to take another step, his foot wouldn't move.

He looked down to find glue covering the steps. "Bloody hell." He ripped off his shoes, throwing them in various directions. With his next step, his socks were pulled off. When he finally he reached the door, he flung it open and skipped the last stair.

He stomped inside, finding Evan standing in the living room.

"You're wet."

"Your shoes are missing."

"Have you seen her yet?"

As if summoned, a small voice came from upstairs. "You boys done, or are you thirsty for more?"

Both of them looked up to see Luna sitting on the stairs with a nerf gun.

"Luna- we can talk about thi-" Her aim was perfect. She hit Barty right in the mouth, firing ten foam bullets at him and effectively shutting him up. Barty dove to the side, slamming into Evan and knocking them both to the ground.

Luna could be heard laughing and running away.

Evan sighed in frustration. "Really, Bee?"

"I didn't know she'd bloody shoot me!"

Evan sighed and shoved his boyfriend off him, standing up. "We have two options. We either give up since we're at least in the house now."

"Or?"

Evan smirked slightly. "Or we play into it and give her a little show."

Barty's eyes flickered with something dangerous, his smirk matching Evan's. "I bloody love your brain." Barty pulled his boyfriend in and kissed him.

He grimaced slightly. "I forgot you're wet."

"Did you also forget when you fell on top of me?"

Barty looked down at his wet shirt. "Oh. Yeah I did. Well I was busy with darts being shot down my throat."

"Have something else you'd prefer down your throat?"

"You know it, Rosie."

Evan hummed. "Later. Right now we've got a kid to entertain." He marched up the stairs, walking right over a trip wire.

Barty yelped behind him as a paint can came swinging towards him, only narrowly missing his head. "She's gonna bloody kill us!"

Evan shrugged. "Possibly. She is Pandora and Lily's kid afterall."

"A combination made in hell surely. She's too smart for 7 years old."

Evan snorted, walking further down the hall. They made their way to Luna's door, eyeing each other before slowly opening it.

The door opened and it was quiet. Silence. No movement.

"This cannot be a good thing."

They walked in carefully, Barty's eyes on the ground and Evan's eyes looking around them.

"Alright kid, time's up, we're here."

"Is that a fact?" Luna's small voice came from behind them. They turned to find her pushing a small button.

"Luna-"

Immediately ropes came around them, tying them up and knocking them on their asses.

Luna cackled and plopped down in front of Barty and Evan.

"Hello uncles." Her voice was so sweet. So deceiving.

"Luna."

She blinked innocently.

"I am so bloody proud of you! This was so well done!" Barty laughed.

Evan sighed. "We should be punishing her, Bee...but it was cool." A smile creeped onto his face as he looked at his niece. "But you do realize you have to clean this up before your mum comes right?"

Luna pouted. "I know. But it was fun."

"It was. Now untie us. I'm beat, kid."

Luna smiled and untied her uncles. Both of them stood up and hugged her.

Barty lifted her onto his shoulders. "Now next time, you include you got it? I know some old tricks that'd work on your Uncle Reggie."

Evan just laughed and shook his head as the three walked out of the room to clean up the absolute disaster that was the Lovegood Residence.

[saturnsconstellation]

How I imagine Rosekiller babysitting the kids:

Barty: in this household, we are team KENDRICK!

Evan: we are locked in. If anyone disagrees, speak now or shut up for the rest of your lives.

Barty: got it?

Harry:

Luna:

Draco:

Barty: I’ll take that as a yes. DROP THE BEAT EV!

Evan: *clicks play on Spotify*

The parents on the other side:

James: … is that…

Regulus *sighing*: Not like us by Kendrick Lamar.

Pandora: fucking hell this is the THIRD TIME-

[child-of-icarus]

[rosekiller babysitting Harry and Luna]

Evan: You need to tell Reg and James about the incident. Or James, at least

Barty: It wasn’t an incident, it was an accident. Just a sprained ankle

Evan: Incident or accident, it was still your fault, Bee

Barty: For the last time, it was not my fault

Luna: You’re in denial uncle Bat

Harry: [on crutches] Totally your fault

Barty: You just said you were fine

Barty: And it was NOT my fault

...

Barty: Oh my god this was my fault wasn’t it

Evan: Yup

Barty: Oh fuck Reggie’s gonna kill me isn’t he

Evan: I’m sure he won’t—

Barty: I BROKE HIS KID ROSIE, HES GONNA MURDER ME

[theprongspotter]

*rosekiller babysitting*

Barty, holding Harry up by his leg: Hey, I like this thing. Let’s get one.

Evan, in horror: Oh, Merlin, put him down!

-

c: @prompts-in-a-barrel

[elistelias]

(Saw someone do this with wolfstar and Harry but can’t remember who, so credits to them)

Rosekiller babysitting toddler Luna-

Barty: Luna can you say my name?

Luna: Evan!

Barty: No Luna, I’m Barty, say Barty

Luna: Evan

Barty: B-a-r-t-y

Luna: Bar- Evan

Barty: Don’t be a little shit Lu

Luna: Shit!

Barty: No shhh don’t say that, fuck what have I done

Luna: Fuck!

Evan: *comes in* I have your snack Luna

Luna: Shit! Fuck!

Evan: *drops snack bowl in shock* Luna no! Who taught you that?

Luna: Barty!

[murderoushagthesequel]

Everyone Listens to Regulus

vivan left one ask with 4 prompts so 4/4 "jegulus raising harry? rosekiller babysitting harry?"

i love them all so much :) barty and evan are regulus' brothers like james is sirius' brother and it warms my heart

"Are you sure they can handle him, love?" James asks, looking over at Barty and Evan playing with Harry in the living room.

"Not at all," Regulus responds, adjusting James' jacket. "But we haven't had a date night in far too long." James looks like he's about to protest but after a quick kiss from Regulus he's on board. Regulus loves having that power over his husband. If he were a worse person, he'd use it to his advantage far more often.

"Be good, Harry, we love you!" James calls from the doorway. A series of babbles and giggles follow.

"We'll take care of him," Evan says from the floor while Harry has him in a baby chokehold. Regulus walks over, kissing the top of Harry's head.

"Don't kill your uncles, love, we'll see you later." Harry makes a gleeful sound and Regulus smiles. He coaxes James out the door and into the car, assuring him everything will be fine.

When they return hours later, smiling and laughing and holding on to each other, they see that everything was not fine.

"Cover his ears," Regulus says, pointing at Barty who quickly obeys. "What the fuck happened?"

"Well you see-" Evan starts.

"Actually? You know what? I don't want to hear it." Regulus says. "You're going to clean up my house and put my son to bed and I'm going to go upstairs and fuck my husband and none of you are going to bother me, got it?"

Barty and Evan both nod their heads quickly and Harry starts giggling again. The kid finds it hilarious when Regulus is mad at people. Better that than be scared, Regulus thinks.

"What-" James says, walking into the living room.

"Don't even question it, baby, just take me to bed," James nods and drags him upstairs to their bedroom. Luckily, the rest of the night goes much to Regulus' liking.

The next morning finds Regulus and James very happy, and Barty and Evan passed out on the floor of Harry's room.

Regulus leaves his son's room smiling to himself and chuckling as he heads downstairs to make breakfast. Sometimes he feels like a parent to all four of them, but he loves them all the same.

[calamitoustide]

Do you see rosestarkillerchaser with kids? I know you said you see jeg with them but not rosekiller so I'm curious if you see all 4 of them with kids together.

(Also I'm sorry over the anons you had been getting the past week about bartylily and Jily like they where trying to convert you)

Oh! That's an interesting question! And I think I'm gonna go with no! I think Barty and Evan are more trusted around kids when James and Reg are there like I could see them babysitting one of their friend's kids or something. Not Barty and Evan on their own maybe but if one of James or Reg are there.

I just can't see Barty ever wanting kids, maybe Evan, but he's also a maybe. I don't think they would decide as a group to have a kid if Barty didn't want it. I can't see him in any universe wanting a kid so it's basically just a no. I think with all four of them it would be a conversation while with just rosekiller it simply wouldn't be.

There's also the idea of Jegulus having Harry before Rosekiller come into the picture, and I feel like... when Harry was little they wouldn't work, like as a full couple... well not a couple but relationship anyway. I feel like the feelings might still be there and they would see each other maybe when Harry was with Lily (if she was in the picture) but other than that I feel like they would have to decide they have to wait until Harry is older, at least in his teens until Rosestarkillerchaser can be all together.

oh and in terms of the anons it's okay! i don't know where they're coming from but they don't really bother me it's just like :/ i'm a jeg blog I always have been they can't sway me they're wasting their time 😭

[kdija0]

florist/bakery AU where jily own a cute shop by the sea together (maybe in france or cornwall) with baby harry and james beinh childhood friends with sirius and suddenly remus moves to town and jily act as cupid and set wolfstar up

featuring slytherin skittles as rival shop owners who eventually become friends with the maruaders and the valkyries

wolfstar being awkward messes

sirius thinks he can become a rockstar because he got one tattoo of a flower/baked good that james and lily sell a lot

hes a soppy idiot and feels the shop has extreme sentimental value

WITH onesided pining to mutual pining rosekiller and rivals to lovers dorlene and regulus and pandora being cute bsfs and also badass lawyers who stop the two groups from suing each other over accidental advertising during a traditional monthly farmers market ANDD they all end up working together when gentrification becomes an issue

and ALSO peter and mary being childhood soulmates who also babysit harry cos yes (i dont ship them but it suits the AU)

the valkyries become friends with the skittles first bc we need cute feminists bonding with barty jr

ALSO REGGIE AND DORA SPOIL HARRY LIKE 24/7 COS HE DESERVES IT

FEATURING BLACK BROTHER ANGST AND BLACK HOUSE ANGST AND JAMES HERO COMPLEX ANGST BECAUSE ITS THE MARUADERS????????

ending in a happy ending COS ITS A BAKER/FLORIST AU DUH

[billsbae]

evan: you can have them when you get a little bit taller if you want

harry: i'm never gonna go trough puberty

regulus: of course you will mon cœur, but we're a family of late bloomers. i didn't until i was 14, nor did sirius

harry: why does that matter? i'm adopted!

barty: WHAT?!

barty: oh my god— WHO TOLD YOU?!

[sunseekerstan]

I need jegulus raising Harry with rosekiller babysitting immediately

I wanna see what would happen if a child was left with barty and evan

[billsbae]

rosekiller babysitting harry

barty: uhm... want a beer?

evan: HE'S FOUR!

barty: I don't know, what am I supposed to do with him?!

[murderoushagthesequel]

ok ok, new idea dropped (i'm sorry that's a lot of ideas, you're not forced to answer to every single one of my asks):

wolfstar in the apocalypse?

pandalily in the 1800s meeting each other at a ball during the ball season and falling for each other at first sight?

dorlene with dorcas as ice skater and marlene as hockey player with rivalryyyy

jegulus raising harry? rosekiller babysitting harry?

i absolutely do have to answer every single one of your asks and i did indeed write all four of these <3

wolfstar in the apocalypse: Only One Left (wc 552)

pandalily in the 1800s: Drab Green Dress (wc 236)

dorlene skating: Fuck Off (wc 545)

jegulus raising harry with rosekiller babysitters: Everyone Listens to Regulus (wc 372)

[risetherivermoon]

aaa! sorry i didn't see this earlier omg, but yeah ofc!

this one is probably more of a simple one compared to the other fic ideas i had, but i still like it lol,

jegulily was something that happened first during their school years but regulus basically distanced himself from both of them and everyone on that side once he got the dark mark because he wants to protect them (yk reggie and his self sacrificial tendencies)

basically i imagine in this au that regulus faked his death back in 79' and he's hiding out with the rest of the slytherins (besides dorcas) in a safe house and they're working on finding and destroying the horcruxes,

barty, who is basically their groups spy, finds out about the plan and peter being the secret keeper etc etc, he goes to tell regulus that james, lily, and harry are all in danger yk the jist

regulus in response says they can't risk it (very reluctantly) he explains that voldemort is too strong and he doesn't know if theyd be able to pull off the plan, its too risky

barty, being a bit stubborn (and also being pretty smart and good at magic) decides to make up his own plan and basically go through with it anyway, he breaks through the protection spells and warns james and lily and tells them to come with him

(obviously they are very resistant until barty explains that regulus is actually alive and they're all working against the dark lord)

basically then id imagine how it goes with regulus finding out that barty (honestly pretty stupidly) did his plan anyway, but even though, regulus is inwardly happy that all three of them are alive,

james and lily are both very cautious around the others in the safe house for a while so id imagine this fic would mostly be jegulily healing and reggie getting to know harry, and less about them actually defeating voldemort

some other details i thought should be mention-able:

evan is alive in this au, he also faked his death,

pandora doesn't live at the safe house but she visits constantly (she lives with xeno and baby luna)

barty is also a spy at the ministry for both the slytherins & voldemort, as he has a job there with his father,

background rosekiller!

reggies morals are a little fucked up in this one but he gets a bit better with it

regulily is smth in this one too, (i honestly prefer jegulily w/ regulily involved over just jily & jegulus, so...)

this also gives the opportunity for james and lily to get to know the rest of the slytherins more, so i think that would be fun

also luna and harry play together sometimes, id imagine that even b4 jily & harry started living at the safe house that pandora would have evan babysit luna sometimes,

but yeah! that's basically the idea, thank you for the ask and thank you for letting me ramble lol!

i am bored, have a list of a bunch of fic/au ideas i have rattling in my brain,

i like rambling so go ahead and ask abt any of them (preferably in asks and reblogs) and ill blab a bunch of info on ya:

1. Rosestarkillerchaser fake dating au

2. Sirius meets Muggle Remus while running around as padfoot wolfstar au

3. Rosekiller Horse Riding Au

4. Complex Role Reversal Au

5. Space Kingdom Jegulus Au

6. Dorlene in Htndy

7. Marylily in Htndy

8. Jily trans mtf james au

9. Organized Crime Wolfstar & Jegulus Au

10. Midwest gothic Rosekiller au

11. Cowgirl Dorlene au

12. Pirate & Mermaid Pandalily au

13. Spiderman au

14. Rosekiller murder au

15. Darksun meet cute au

16. Jegulily 1981 fix it au

17. Dancer Jegulus au

18. Rosekiller muggle au

19. Rosekiller no voldy au, but barty is losing his mind slowly

20. ice skater au jegulus