#so yeah merry xmas im obsessed with you people

[noblehouseofgay]

Home Alone

Rosekiller microfic

Little Luna and implied pandalily

Home Alone au

Dedicated to these freaks that I am very emotionally attached to, Merry Xmas guys: @shouldhavebeenarockstar @allonsy-moony @maraudering-times @marauders-brain-rot @caiizawa @hexa-ro @drowninkystar @the1970sdeadgaywizard-regulus

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Quiet chatter filled the winter night air as Barty and Evan walked up to the door.

"No but it was funny because Regulus was-" Barty paused when he realized his key wouldn't go into the lock. "That's strange." He tried again as Evan used his phone light to check it.

"It looks- it looks sealed." Even stood back up. Their eyes widened as they looked at each other.

"Home Alone."

Last week, Pandora had invited everyone over for a movie night. They had watched Home Alone and even that night they could tell Luna had loved the movie.

Now, on a night they expected to be an easy babysitting night, they had been cast as the wet bandits and had to get into this booby trapped house.

Luna was a clever kid.

It wouldn't be easy.

Or safe.

Evan knocked on the door. "Lunes? It's us. Can we come in?"

Nothing.

Barty sighed. "I'll try the back door, you wait here." Evan nodded and Barty made his way around the back of the house.

"Looney Tunes? It's Uncle Bat." He grabbed the door knob and immediately yelped in pain. "Fuck! Luna!" The metal had been electric somehow and had completely zapped his hand. Barty shook his hand, trying to gain back feeling in it.

"Luna we have to come in eventually!" He shook his head, looking for his next option.

🥀

Meanwhile back out front, Evan had gotten a window open, he climbed inside carefully. He watched where his feet stepped, making sure to not step on the toy cars below him. He scoffed. "Those aren't even Luna's those are Harry's."

He managed to stand on solid ground unscathed, but he didn't think to look up until a bucket of freezing cold water came crashing down on his head. "Oh fuck-" Evan tried to dodge but it was no use. If he stepped wrong he'd slip, so he simply accepted his icy fate.

He groaned and rubbed his head. "Oh you are so grounded when I find you, kid."

💀

Barty had managed to pry the door open after ten minutes of trying. He slammed it open, looking around. He carefully stepped inside the cellar. As he went to take another step, his foot wouldn't move.

He looked down to find glue covering the steps. "Bloody hell." He ripped off his shoes, throwing them in various directions. With his next step, his socks were pulled off. When he finally he reached the door, he flung it open and skipped the last stair.

He stomped inside, finding Evan standing in the living room.

"You're wet."

"Your shoes are missing."

"Have you seen her yet?"

As if summoned, a small voice came from upstairs. "You boys done, or are you thirsty for more?"

Both of them looked up to see Luna sitting on the stairs with a nerf gun.

"Luna- we can talk about thi-" Her aim was perfect. She hit Barty right in the mouth, firing ten foam bullets at him and effectively shutting him up. Barty dove to the side, slamming into Evan and knocking them both to the ground.

Luna could be heard laughing and running away.

Evan sighed in frustration. "Really, Bee?"

"I didn't know she'd bloody shoot me!"

Evan sighed and shoved his boyfriend off him, standing up. "We have two options. We either give up since we're at least in the house now."

"Or?"

Evan smirked slightly. "Or we play into it and give her a little show."

Barty's eyes flickered with something dangerous, his smirk matching Evan's. "I bloody love your brain." Barty pulled his boyfriend in and kissed him.

He grimaced slightly. "I forgot you're wet."

"Did you also forget when you fell on top of me?"

Barty looked down at his wet shirt. "Oh. Yeah I did. Well I was busy with darts being shot down my throat."

"Have something else you'd prefer down your throat?"

"You know it, Rosie."

Evan hummed. "Later. Right now we've got a kid to entertain." He marched up the stairs, walking right over a trip wire.

Barty yelped behind him as a paint can came swinging towards him, only narrowly missing his head. "She's gonna bloody kill us!"

Evan shrugged. "Possibly. She is Pandora and Lily's kid afterall."

"A combination made in hell surely. She's too smart for 7 years old."

Evan snorted, walking further down the hall. They made their way to Luna's door, eyeing each other before slowly opening it.

The door opened and it was quiet. Silence. No movement.

"This cannot be a good thing."

They walked in carefully, Barty's eyes on the ground and Evan's eyes looking around them.

"Alright kid, time's up, we're here."

"Is that a fact?" Luna's small voice came from behind them. They turned to find her pushing a small button.

"Luna-"

Immediately ropes came around them, tying them up and knocking them on their asses.

Luna cackled and plopped down in front of Barty and Evan.

"Hello uncles." Her voice was so sweet. So deceiving.

"Luna."

She blinked innocently.

"I am so bloody proud of you! This was so well done!" Barty laughed.

Evan sighed. "We should be punishing her, Bee...but it was cool." A smile creeped onto his face as he looked at his niece. "But you do realize you have to clean this up before your mum comes right?"

Luna pouted. "I know. But it was fun."

"It was. Now untie us. I'm beat, kid."

Luna smiled and untied her uncles. Both of them stood up and hugged her.

Barty lifted her onto his shoulders. "Now next time, you include you got it? I know some old tricks that'd work on your Uncle Reggie."

Evan just laughed and shook his head as the three walked out of the room to clean up the absolute disaster that was the Lovegood Residence.

[azlovesem]

Im watching americas new so called it girl tanashe or something. I font know i font see anything new there. I think you people might be caught in sn idiot loop. Uoure do obsessed with sex and success youre kinda pkayed oyf ur styles. Tlc is asy better i think. Ive been all around around the ststes lil girl. I out a lot of YOUR peoole in s fuckn ditch face down. Sustsinong the rehash its sll bern fone thousand yimes before dhoukdnt be too fucon hard. Not that impressed like i aaod ive seen you a thousand times before. Aids is popular too. What up you wanna argue with an Arch. Kerp goin as far as original is concerned you aint there. What if uiu fell in live with someone wgo was down on thier luck. You americans are fucjed ill already puncherd diddy upur king to a fuckn bloody mees you wanns mess eiyh me you dumb bitch? Nothing new you are a carbon coby of domething you should of let go long ago. Yeah uoure as smartbas my girlfriend ya fuckn smericsn moron. Same old sane old is sll im ssyn bout you. What the fuck up i said i beat the shit out of vnlack america too you sint dmart like me at all. You should get like me not the other way around. I got gold burried i hot cars i got guns i own earth youre a fuckn idiot american. Ill put a twelve guage dlug yhroughbany of you. Same ol same ol dverything america uoute creativity bit yhe dust. Fuck any of you. I dare yoj to say something bitch. Tlc is light years better. How foes everyone like harsh opinions. Maybe you like thoz ding bat fuck you. Opinions are like assholes and smerica is jsmm packed with assholes i dlsp around everyday. Merry xmas. Heg me money begore i fuckn kill you sll denzel washington

Emma Watson