#rook cannot swim

[liaragaming]

Rook Swimming Party Banter - Faction Edition

Part 1

Mourn Watch

Emmrich: How was Rook never taught how to swim? Vorgoth: THE WATER IS UNTRUSTWORTHY

Crows

Lucanis: How was swimming not part of Rook's training? Viago: We gallivant on rooftops. Where does swimming come into it? Lucanis: We live in a city that - wait. Do you know how to swim? Viago: ... Teia: And, he's gone.

Grey Wardens

Davrin: How do you not know how to swim? Rook: The only requirement to becoming a Grey Warden is fighting darkspawn. Davrin: Do you know how to swim? Antoine: Please don't bring me into this.

Veil Jumpers

Bellara: How did Rook never learn how to swim? Strife: [to Rook] You don't know how to fucking swim?!

Lords of Fortune

Taash: We started from piracy. Our base is on the ocean. How is it Rook can't swim? Isabella: Well, I'm not their damn mother. Taash: Shouldn't swimming be part of the joining requirements? Isabella: Just remind me not to take them out on my ship.

Shadow Dragons

Neve: Did you know Rook doesn't know how to swim? Viper: There's magical ways around that, right? Neve: I suppose. Viper: Good. <or> Neve: Rook's not a mage. Viper: Oh.

[postcardsfromveilguard]

The Ossuary

Featuring Big Shark

[winterwriterstudios]

Lol. My Tags are basically a rant

*you can change the desicions you make, gowever you do not retain the knowledge of it that you have

reblog for larger sample size!!

[fanfoolishness]

the thing with feathers (it isn't hope.)

Trapped and tortured in the Ossuary, Lucanis finds a possible means of escape. It'll only cost his soul. 2244 words, whump, torture, angst, Lucanis + Spite in the days leading up to Rook's rescue. Lucanis and Spite POV.

---

A vast creature with fins and a massive, sweeping tail blots out the distant sunlight, drifting lazily through the open sea above him. Lucanis watches it move on its way, his vision blurring. Pain pulses with every heartbeat.

It is not the pain of blades or poisons, nothing so inelegant as beating or whipping. It’s something in his blood, Zara’s magic invisible to his eye but writ deep in every limb, every breath, every thought. He lies limp on the cold stone table, the leather restraints unnecessary; the searing pain eats at muscle and bone. He couldn’t move if he tried, and oh, he has tried.

Determination flares within him. He cannot move, but he can stay alive. Crows are patient, and as long as he lives, there yet may be a chance to end her. He breathes in -- jagged fire -- and breathes out -- the taste of ashes.

What day is this? What night? It doesn’t matter. Zara’s voice grates at him, each word a pinprick that makes the pain coruscate brighter. She is dictating her research notes again. 

Another reason to kill her. She is insufferably arrogant.

“... a rarer demon, more fragile than some, but with true malevolent potential. Yes. I believe this will be a fine match for our Demon of Vyrantium.” A sneering laugh colors her words, and her hated face swims into view. She wears a sick, sly smile that does not reach her cold eyes. “Ah, you’re awake. Tell me, Crow, are you afraid?”

He tries to hiss out an insult. He is not afraid. Crows are never afraid. 

Hiding in a secret passage -- how he’d run from voices in the hall -- Mama and Papa in their bedroom, spilled wine on the floor -- tongues swollen, faces purple -- they wouldn’t wake up -- 

(Almost never afraid.)

He struggles. All that escapes him is a strangled groan. Zara smiles icily. “Oh, you should be.” 

She raises her arms to begin the ritual, and his blood boils in his veins. He has seen what happened to the other prisoners after this - found dead in their cells, or mutilated and destroyed here in the lab. He shudders, every muscle twisting, spasming, roiling. Zara’s voice deafens him, cruel and evil words in old Tevene, words that carry a power that crushes him to the table. He can’t breathe through bloody foam rising up in the back of his throat. He opens his mouth, gasping for air. He is choking, he is dying, death has come for him at last --

And then there’s something forced into his mouth, foul and sticky and vile, pouring into him. He gags, retches, but he cannot move under the weight of the magic, and it’s swallow or suffocate. 

Lucanis swallows filth and poison, and everything goes red. 

Violet. 

Black.

-

A small SHARP claw

Twist it into the gut, rend and tear

Hate, hate, hate

Cannot get out. Cannot see. World solid. Unrelenting. Scratch scratch rip

Scream!

Scream into dark, into cold, into empty! No Fade!

Must get her. Get enemies. Get who did this.

Feeling... stronger. Eating growing waking up.

Can start to see…

Water. Magic in the bones, in the sand. Prison. Smell of blood and tears and sweat and sick. 

Trapped here. Trapped in --

“What’s happening to me?” 

Sounds like fear. Confusion. Don’t want. Need spite!

“Get out of my head!” 

This prison moves. Made of flesh. Alive and red. Fingers claw at skull, get out, get out, can’t! Fear, fear, fear --

“What did she do to me? Leave me alone!”

Reach. Try. Ah! Flesh moves! A toy, a tool! Legs drag, sssstep sssstep fall, pain, yes.

Breath. Needs it. Tries. (hate this.)

“What are you?” 

Gasp. Tired. So tired. Mortal. Can’t even see the Veil. lost! lonely!

Take tongue and teeth. Another toy! Strange and clumsy. A voice like blood.

“Spite. No. YOU. Get out.”

“This is my body!” Rage. Tasty. sustaining! “I am Lucanis Dellamorte. I am Lucanis Dellamorte. I am Lucanis --”

“Lucanisssss.” 

Tastes like determination. Dissssssappointing. Find the way OUT! Out of Lucanis!

-

You can’t be possessed. You’re not a mage. You can’t be possessed.

Lucanis mutters it under his breath. Runs it around his head. Tries to wear it as a talisman.

He can almost believe it in the quiet of his cell. The thing skittering around in his mind could be a hallucination. He has heard of prisoners talking to themselves after solitary confinement. Perhaps his Crow training in this regard has failed him and he has simply gone mad. It would be shameful, but it would make sense.

Except he has never heard of a hallucination walking a body around like a marionette, running it into walls until it bleeds and bruises, stealing a mouth to moan and growl in garbled speech. Every time, Lucanis wrests his body back in a sick game of tug-o-war. Every time, he dabs at any blood with the edge of his cloak, licks it from his fingers, removes as much trace of injury as he can. He has been lucky that the guards have not yet realized something is… wrong.

“You are Lucanis. Spite is here! Spite needs to get out!” The voice is getting stronger. Clearer. Easier to understand with every passing day, more and more complete sentences, a sense of a… personality.

He distracts himself in every way he can. He dreams of killing Zara and her cronies in loving detail, picturing lacerated kidneys, punctured lungs, torn throats, poison, asphyxiation, drowing, crushed larynxes, broken necks. When that grows dull and he has mapped out every plausible and implausible cause of death he could visit upon them, he dreams instead of Treviso. The scents of the canals, the sound of water lapping against stone, night-blooming jasmine, coffee rich and hot, paella and pasta and stews, cioccalata calda, roasted branzino, fine cheeses, delicate chocolate pastries --

Then he falls asleep again, and wakes up with new scratches and bruises in the opposite corner of the cell from where he fell asleep, and an insidious little whisper in the back of his mind spits mine. Mine. Mine.

But Lucanis is not possessed. This thing calling itself Spite, speaking with a voice filtered through the Fade, it is only his imagination. It has to be.

It is unfortunate that he has always been a poor liar.

-

The laboratory again. They need the restraints this time. Leather rubs against his wrists and ankles hard enough to leave ulcers. Lucanis struggles -- he’ll kill them all for whatever they’ve done to him -- but it isn’t until Zara cuts his arm and twists the beading blood into her magic that the lie shatters.

“Enough is enough, Crow. Where is my demon?”

Something flows through him, unblocked at last by Zara’s spell. It’s powerful, intoxicating, a terrifying loss of control. A shower of violet light erupts from his body, formless, shapeless -- and then wings, gusting fiercely -- 

Zara steps back, fear in her eyes, then greed. “Ahhh, Spite, there you are.”

The lie in his heart dies with a whimper. There is a demon trapped within him, a monster. Zara knows its name; she put it there. His body sags against the table.

I am an abomination.

His efforts to stay in control fail him. Lucanis’ mouth opens, speaking with a voice that isn’t his, equal parts glee and malice. “You know me?” Spite rasps. “Let me OUT!”

Zara’s lip curls in disgust. “I’ve done my part. What’s keeping you from doing yours? He’s just the incubator. Erupt out of him and be done with it. Come, I’ve work for you to do.”

Don’t listen to her, Lucanis pleads, hoping Spite can hear him. She’s the reason we’re trapped like this! She did this to you! To us!

You believe in me? Understand now?

Yes. Yes, I understand what you are, Spite.

Lucanis’ head lifts as he and Spite both regard Zara. “You did this,” Spite accuses. 

“Of course I did,” Zara sniffs. “Now, come.”

She deserves to die for this. Don’t give her what she wants! Don’t --

The world is lost in a haze of violet light, and for a time, he knows nothing.

-

“I’m alive.” Lucanis. Surprised. Confused. Waking in the cell, waking after Zara. He was gone for such a long while. Spite does not know how to count it, but he knows it was not sleep.

Spite used the time well. Studying. Exploring. Understanding that the world is different here. Rules -- mysterious but there to be discovered. Always choices. He made his, back in the laboratory.

He will show Lucanis what he has learned.

Spite stretches. Reaches. Claws out of the human prison now that Lucanis is awake, takes a shape, familiar. 

Lucanis recoils. “Mierda!”

What does that mean?

“Take a guess,” Lucanis says. Suspicious. Staring. Face pale, wary, hunted. He steps around Spite, examines. Smells like shame. “You look like me.”

A shape. Your shape. Easy to take. I know you.

“You do not know me.”

Hate Zara. Hate prison. I know that. You know that.

“True.” Lucanis, sighing, sitting down, eyes searching. “May I ask about the wings?”

No wings now. He wears a Lucanis shape now, and Lucanis does not have wings in the physical world.

“From earlier.”

She called us Crow.

“Yes. I am a Crow. You are not a Crow.”

I want to be a Crow! Flying, fierce, deadly, strong! 

“Fine. Keep the wings, if you must.” Crossed arms. Closed face. Looks sick. Hurt. Zara did things to the body, see it still in winces, bruises. Not like the Fade, there and gone; lasting, lingering.

Spite could not stop her. Blood magic held them still. Hate. Hate! 

“What? You are staring.”

Zara hurts us. We hate her! 

“I thought she was going to kill me.” Lucanis waits. Pauses. Curiosity. How do mortals hold so many spirits? So many emotions? “Why didn’t she? I thought she was trying to get you… out of me.”

Prisons. I am trapped here. You are trapped here. We! We are trapped!

“You… listened to me, when I asked you to stand against her. That is what happened, isn’t it?” Touches face, touches purple-blue flesh, dried blood on lips. “You didn’t leave.”

Not for her! She would use chains of blood! She bound us, she stole me, she put me here! 

“That is two of us.” Dark eyes, hollow, twin voids. “We could… work together.”

Crow contract?

“Not like that. But a deal. You don’t do what she wants, and you help me stay alive. And I will make certain that we kill her and escape.” Determined. No. Not determined.

S p i t e f u l ! 

Yes! To stay alive only to kill, delicious!

More time. More toys. Trial, error, how to use hands and mouth, legs and feet, speak run leap. And better, to hold blades, rip tear kill, blood on the hands, taste it! 

It is a deal. Let us make the deal!

“I will work with you, Spite.” Lucanis reaches out a hand. 

What is it?

“A handshake. It means we have agreed to the deal.”

Reach back. Translucent purple on olive flesh. Agreement. Understanding. Spite lets the shape go, retreats back into the mind, curls up and waits for opportunity.

-

Lucanis paces the cell, tracing step after step. The wounds from Zara’s attempt to extract Spite have largely healed, and he takes advantage of feeling better by staying on his feet. It keeps him awake. If he is awake, he is himself. Mostly. But when he sleeps…

The weight of the deal sits uneasy on him. He has heard mages in the Crows talk of their temptations, the way demons stalk them in the Fade and in places where the Veil is thin, how a deal with a demon can create an abomination. But his deal with Spite came after abomination. None of it makes any damn sense.

He must worry about that later. It is a lifeline, even if it was made in desperation; it is still a blade he didn’t have before. Like any blade, it could kill the wielder just as surely as the target. 

It is the best he can do.

Spite chatters in his mind. The wards can fall. I can take them, Lucanis! I see the tricks and the sneaky locks!

Spite has been telling him this for the past day or two, eager and brash, ready to go. But the guards on them have been doubled since Zara’s failed attempt to take Spite, and Lucanis has to keep forcing Spite back. There will be a chance, but they will only get one. Lucanis knows it in his gut.

When do we escape? When do we kill her? Spite asks, impatient at being ignored. In the few days since their deal was struck, he speaks more easily, more insistently. 

More annoyingly, Lucanis thinks to himself. It gives him a shred of comfort to think of Spite as an irritant, an illusion of control he clings to readily. He is aware this time that it is purely illusory, but if it allows him to get the job done, he will continue.

“Soon,” he murmurs to Spite. He watches the guards through the wards of his cell. There is something different in their behavior. They are agitated, on high alert. They reach for their weapons, and then they are gone, summoned elsewhere. Something is finally happening.

Lucanis smiles, and Spite is there beside him, a violet shadow with a feral grin. 

“Very soon.”

[askthepassengers]

Rook / Neve Headcanons!!

Ive been obsessed with Rook/Neve for the last month and wanted to share some of my Headcanons!! (I'll always accept more if anyone else has some ofc! the more the better!)

Rook / Neve Headcanons Part 1

(My)Rook goes by They/Them and She/her, has no real preference though

They are often very personal about their relationship, Neve more so than Rook and she loves that they respect that. Doesn’t stop Rook from being bratty around others unfortunately 

From the moment they shared their first kiss on the docks, Neve spent every single night in Rook’s room. Only ever cuddling and making out before falling asleep. [Until yknow when]

Neve absolutely loves marking her territory in very visual spots. Rook makes sure her love bits are out of the sight because she respects Neve’s professional image.

Rook will deny it if ever brought up/asked but she is always the little spoon. She finds comfort in being held, finds it helps her sleep better. [She got some of the best sleep in her life the first night she and Neve spent the night together.

Rook often shuts down/over stimulates, especially after a mission. Neve often helps her by holding her in her arms tightly or just talking about old cases that she solved while Rook leans her head on her shoulder.

Neve loves Rook's hair. No matter the occasion, sitting down next to each during a team meeting, just hanging out, making out, sleeping etc, her fingers are always entangled in Rook's hair.

Rook loves Wintersend[Christmas basically], Neve doesn’t understand it, but finds it cute

Rook will always bring home stray animals and Neve has to convince her that the can’t keep them all

Neve has a morning skincare routine with a lot of expensive products. Rook will mess with them, not know what any of it is, when Neve isn’t around. Neve knows that Rook does this and doesn't mind.

When Neve first met Rook, she never had a specific brand of perfume she used but the moment she found out Rook loved the smell of Vanilla, she found the best, most expensive brand and wore it exclusively. Rook always smells like strawberry cheesecake because of her body wash.[MAU She bought one bottle from Bath & body works and never looked back]

Rook is surprisingly the better influence with children, while Neve accidentally drops cuss words and the kids learn them.

Neve tends to talk constantly about the books she was currently reading, Rook listens to her even if it's the seventh time that day

Neve is always up before Rook, and on the odd day when Rook wakes first, she’ll prepare breakfast and her favourite coffee for Neve. [The odd time Lucanis pushes Rook away to finish because wtf does Rook know about a healthy breakfast] 

When Rook tends to ramble on about stupid stuff, Neve will kiss her just to shut her up

Will constantly say ‘Huh’ to anything Neve says when she's bored because she knows it will piss her off

One time Neve called Rook ‘chuckles’ and Rook broke down sobbing. Neve had never seen her girlfriend like this before and was terrified.

Rook tends to show their affection more often when they’re alone but doesn’t complain when Neve shows her affection in public

Rook’s love language is acts of service while Neve is more words of affirmation and physical touch

 Rook will often times zone out when Neve talks, just staring at her with giant heart eyes

When Neve is neck deep in a case and she’s too busy to come home/talk to Rook, Rook will send Wisps to deliver lil love notes / In a modern setting, she’ll send their pet cat 

Modern NeveRook have a orange tabby cat named Hermie

Rook on more than one occasion, has fallen asleep while hugging Neve

Neve was the first of the group to realize Rook couldn’t swim/was afraid of water. She is SUPER protective of them whenever some, most likely Taash, tries to tease her about it or pull Rook towards water. She once blasted Taash like thirty feet with her Ice into a lake for trying to force Rook into the lake.

(My)Rook hates fish. Absolutely cannot stand the taste or smell but will never not get Neve some grilled fish from her favourite spot when she knows Neve is neck deep in work, and she knows she hasn’t eaten and won’t step away to get something. 

Rook’s parents LOVE Neve. They adore her so much that they call her more than their own daughter just to talk. 

Before they had gotten together, Rook had constantly flirted with Isabella whenever they were in Rivian with Taash. It pissed Neve off more when the Pirate would return the flirtation and purposely make it more explicit because she knew that Neve had a crush on Rook. [It was her way to push Neve to admit her feelings]

These are the first ones that I've come up with and will definitely add to! I hope you guys like them!!!

[ruehyte]

lrb (do people say that here Oh No) but

I keep thinking about how Emmrich, the man with the crippling fear of death, the man who has a panic attack if he thinks of his own mortality for long enough, fell in love with the absolute idiot who cannot go ten minutes without trying to drown themselves.

Rook? Can't swim. Scared of heights. INCREDIBLY reckless on the battlefield no matter how good you are at the game. Keeps getting KICKED IN THE TITS BY A DRAGON. Has the directional sense of a headless chicken.

I'm just saying what's probably already been said but that man has grey hair because of us. Emmrich Volkarin thank you for still loving me after having to pull my broken body out of a very shallow lake for the fifth time in five minutes.

[nerdee-blondee]

i haven't stopped thinking about this deleted raunchy scene with lucanis ever since i saw it ☠️

if i was a fanfic writer i would be BUSTING out a one shot but ALAS i am not SO here i will give you my description on how this scene would go with my rook Valeria ✨

the premise is, my LOF valeria will be traveling to tevinter and isabela gives her a little side mission since she's in the area to find a relic that is submerged in water. (this will also take place after the almost-kiss scene in the pantry so valeria and lucanis are a WEE BIT awkward atm)

(WE ARE ALSO retconning that at least my rook can't swim. there is NO WAY IN HELL that my PIRATE LORD OF FORTUNE rook can't swim.)

SO valeria will bring lucanis and neve on this excursion. but neve will have gotten a lead on a tip and have to leave this outing to head for dock town, so it just leaves lucanis and valeria.

they get to this place where the information they have to go off says it is and see it's a beautiful little oasis area. and valeria starts to strip off her armor so she can swim down and grab the relic. lucanis, who is DESPERATELY trying not to stare at her undressing form, makes a snide comment about "not being able to swim" and valeria will get defensive like "I'LL HAVE U KNOW i most definitely CAN swim but you try swimming with all that armor and gold that i wear" "well maybe all that armor and gold is a restriction in battle?" "YOU try being a treasure seeking pirate WITHOUT all the gold"

and the tension from their previous NOT kiss will dissipate. than valeria will be like "this would go a lot faster if you came in and helped me find the damn thing". and so lucanis, after a beat, would start stripping down as well and both would go into the crisp clear waters. fully focused on finding this relic, they are all business for a time. until eventually they find it and all is well and good with their side mission. until lucanis gets out and looks back to valeria and asks "are you getting out?". as valeria is now floating in the waters says "have you ever dreamed about being a fish?" and this would stir a whole conversation about valeria's childhood as lucanis takes a seat on the edge of the water to listen.

"i miss when my life was simple and all i had to worry about was why i couldn't be a fish and be able to swim in the seas forever. not have to constantly worry about 2 ancient elven gods and the whole state of the world crumbling around me..." after this moment of vulnerability valeria would sit up and, like the little shit she is, send water careening over at him. and lucanis, now wet again, shakes his head and jumps in to splash her himself. and they have a really nice "battle" where valeria will use some magic to accurately get him in the face. and then lucanis will dive under water to grab her ankles and pull her under the water's surface. after this they would both remerge and laugh in a way that haven't been able to since all of this god-hunting started. their laughter dies down as they are just looking at each other and then they both realize they are a little too close. and they have too little clothes on. both of them just look at each other. not wanting to break whatever is happening in this moment between them. then very slowly, not wanting to scare him off, valeria goes to reach for a stray piece of hair that is stuck on lucanis' forehead. she wipes it away and slowly brings that hand to cup his cheek. he full on melts into her touch as both of their breathing seems to pick up a little. he opens his eyes that he didn't realize he closed and looks into her eyes and sees deep in her eyes that same desire from back in the pantry. and this time, he cannot find it in himself to ignore it.

he surges forward and kisses her. their first kiss. it's literally wet. and kind of clumsy as first kisses go. a small squeak leaves valeria's mouth as it happens and now, she finds herself melting into his brief touch. the kiss is over as quickly as it began. and they are both staring at each other and panting as if they had just run a marathon. they again stare into each other's eyes and both notice that the other's irises are being swallowed up by their pupils. one kiss has set both of them off. neither of them knows who started this next round of kisses but they know they neither of them want to stop. they are hungrily grabbing at each other and their lips don't leave each other. as if the others lips have all the answers to all the questions in the universe. her hands are caressing his beard and his face while his one hand is rooted at the base of her neck and in her hair while the other has a death grip on her hip.

than after a few of the best minutes of just savoring each other's kisses, lucanis brings his lips to all over her face. a kiss on the nose. on the forehead. on both cheeks. on the corners of her mouth. all, he hopes, conveys his apologies to not being able to show his love attraction for her sooner. and, as if she understood this sentiment, valeria gently places her hand on the back of his head while he indulges. as he feels her hand on the back of his head he groans and brings his lips down to her neck. when he gets to her neck, she lets out a gasp. she already has a sensitive neck but his beard there makes her squirm in the most delicious way. after hearing her gasp, he lets out another groan that turns more into a growl and he starts to lavish her neck with his tongue and small bites....

AAAAND THAT'S WHERE WE GET THE CUT IMAGE. after finishing typing ALL THAT i realized i basically wrote a fanfic LOLOL. but YEA this is how my valeria and lucanis would have their first kiss and almost immediately fuck but they are able to restrain themselves.

their FIRST TIME would probably be right after murder of crows, and after the deleted gondola scene! WE ARE DESCREATING VILA DELAMORTE BABY 😏😏

[ithseem]

What Your Favourite Twisted Wonderland Character Says About You

**Disclaimer: All of these are jokes, so if any of you are offended, sorry 😅. Anyway, on to the assumtptions! Also, I cannot say how accurate this is**

Riddle Rosehearts:

You thought his uptightness was too much for you, but post-book one he became your favourite and you can't help but respect his growth. I don't blame you, his backstory was a tear-jerker

Trey Clover:

You want a malewife

Cater Diamond

There's a 40% chance you're bi and there's a 30% chance you follow Danny Gonzalez (and/or one of his clones)

Ace Trappola:

You either have no filter or you wish you could get rid of yours

Deuce Spade:

You think the Bad Boi + Himbo combo is cool and lowkey simpable. There's also a 40% chance you're neurodivergent

Leona Kingscholar:

You're the therapist friend in your group who desperately needs therapy. That or you're really horny

Ruggie Bucchi:

You didn't grow up with much money, and you relate to his struggle. Also, you'll never forgive Andrew Tate for what he posted

Jack Howl:

The more you get to know him, the more you see him as a tsundere puppy. There's also a 20% chance you made at least one pun about him e.g. bro's really JACKed up

Azul Ashengrotto:

There's a 40% chance that Mammon is your favourite Obey Me character. You're also probably an aspiring business owner

Jade Leech:

Your favourite colour is red. That's why you like this walking/swimming red flag

Floyd Leech:

You say he's really cute, but he's also a walking/swimming red flag. Also, if you had to die, you'd say the best way is to suffocate by him squeezing you

Kalim Al-Asim:

There's a chance you mistook him for Mammon from Obey Me. You also see him as the school's therapy dog

Jamil Viper:

You're probably Desi/Arab and you relate to being forced to suppress your emotions just to make sure you keep the peace

Vil Schoenheit:

You thought he'd be a Regina George/Sharpay Evans/Gordon Ramsay reskin but now you respect him more than you respect your IRL friends. Either that or you want him to step on you

Rook Hunt:

You appreciate the fact that he's a goofy mf and owns it. That or you're insane

Epel Felmier:

Your life's motto is "Short People Rule!" There's also a 30% chance you're feral asf

Idia Shroud:

You're a gamer/anime fan. There's also a 45% chance you're autistic

Ortho Shroud:

You either want him as a little brother or as a son

Malleus Draconia:

You're at least 45% of the fanbase. You also think goths are just neat

Lilia Vanrouge:

You're an e-boy/girl/other-gender or a menace to society

Sebek Zigvolt:

You've lost track of how many times you wanted to bully this boomer of a sixteen-year-old

Silver:

You have good taste 😎

Grim:

You're a cat person

Yuu (manga/game/novel):

You're cool 😎

[abandoned-quiche]

*dances on your puzzle*

YOU'VE FALLEN RIGHT INTO MY TRAP!!! FOR YOU SEE, THE FLOOR YOU DANCE ON IS NOT A DANCE FLOOR, BUT ACTUALLY...

...THE COLORED TILE MAZE!!! EACH COLOR HAS ITS OWN FUNCTION!

RED TILES ARE IMPASSABLE! YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM!

YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC! THEY WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU!

GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM, YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER!!

ORANGE TILES ARE ORANGE-SCENTED. THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL DELICIOUS!

BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. SWIM THROUGH IF YOU LIKE, BUT! IF YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES! THE PIRANHAS WILL BITE YOU. ALSO, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A, YELLOW TILE, THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU!

PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY! YOU WILL SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE! HOWEVER, THE SLIPPERY SOAP SMELLS LIKE LEMONS!! WHICH PIRANHAS DO NOT LIKE! PURPLE AND BLUE ARE OK!

PERIWINKLE TILES ARE PUZZLE TILES! YOU MUST COMPLETE A SECOND, SMALLER COLORED TILE PUZZLE TO PASS!

WHITE TILES ARE TELEPORTATION TILES! THEY WILL TELEPORT YOU TO THE NEXT WHITE TILE, IN ORDER OF HOW CLOSE THEIR COMBINED X AND Y COORDINATES ARE TO A PRIME NUMBER.

AQUAMARINE TILES MUST BE STEPPED ON AS SOON AS YOU ARE ABLE TO! OTHERWISE, THEY WILL HURT YOU A LOT!

TURQUOISE TILES ARE THE OPPOSITE OF AQUAMARINE TILES! YOU MUST NOT STEP ON THESE ONES! OTHERWISE! THEY WILL ALSO HURT YOU!

SEA GREEN TILES ARE DISTINCT FROM BOTH OF THESE! THEY WILL HEAL YOU! STEP ON THESE!

BROWN TILES ARE DIRT TILES! YOU CAN DIG THROUGH THEM TO FIND USEFUL TREASURES! THESE WILL BE IMPORTANT FOR POLKA DOT TILES, SO REMEMBER THIS.

VERMILLION TILES ARE HINT TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM, A HANDSOME SKELETON WILL APPEAR AND GIVE TOU A HINT!

NAVY TILES ARE LIKE VERMILLION TILES, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF A HANDSOME SKELETON APPEARING AND GIVING YOU A HINT, SANS APPEARS AND SAYS SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNHELPFUL.

BLACK TILES ARE REVERSE TILES! THEY WILL REVERSE ALL OF THE RULES.

CHECKERED TILES ARE PROMOTION TILES! IF YOU REACH ONE, YOU MAY PROMOTE YOURSELF FROM A PAWN TO A BISHOP, ROOK, KNIGHT OR QUEEN!

COOL FLAME PATTERNED TILES HAVE COOL FLAME PATTERNS ON THEM! THEY WILL GIVE YOU TEN COOLNESS POINTS. IF YOU HAVE AT LEAST THIRTY COOLNESS POINTS, THE PIRANHAS IN THE BLUE TILES WILL THINK YOU ARE COOL, AND THEY WILL NOT ATTACK YOU. HOWEVER!!! IF YOU HAVE MORE THAN SEVENTY COOLNESS POINTS! THE PIRANHAS WILL BECOME JEALOUS! SO THEY'LL START TO ATTACK YOU AGAIN.

PLAID TILES ARE- WAIT A SECOND!!! THAT ANNOYING DOG IS TAMPERING WITH MY PUZZLE!!! HEY!!! GET BACK HERE, YOU CANTANKEROUS CANINE!!!

* (...It seems you've been spared from his explanation for now.)

[kaina-central]

Love how Rook has an entire aquarium in their room when they cannonly cannot swim...

[liaragaming]

Rook Swimming Party Banter

Taash: You're just gonna watch? Davrin: Sink or swim. It's the only way to learn. Taash: That's not how I was taught. Davrin: ... Taash: Pretty sure Rook's sinking. Davrin: Yeah...

...

Lucanis: I once had a contract who tried to flee across the Minanter river. Davrin: *laughter* That river is full of monsters! Lucanis: Oh, the river monsters definitely ate them. One of the easiest contracts I ever fulfilled, if a bit anticlimactic. Davrin: At least there's no monsters in this water. Lucanis: That we know of.

...

Spite: Why... water... hurt... Rook? Emmrich: It is not the water itself that is harmful. It is rather the fact that Rook cannot float. Spite: Can... Spite... float? Emmrich: An emotion can linger. Floating is... hm. Lucanis: Please, don't confuse him.

... Harding: I thought you were watching them! Bellara: Sorry! I got distracted! Harding: Can't you magic them out? Bellara: Um, the gauntlet isn't really built for water rescue. Can't you magic them out? Harding: If there were rocks around, sure!

...

Davrin: *groan* I'm starting to think Rook does this on purpose. Assan: *questioning squawk* Davrin: No, boy. You stay here where it's safe. I'll go get them.

...

Emmrich: Have you taught Assan to swim? Davrin: No! He still hasn't learned how to fly! Emmrich: The act of swimming comes natural to most animals as I understand it. Davrin: And I suppose you've tested this theory with Manfred? Emmrich: Manfred is a skeleton, and bones I'm afraid do not float. Davrin: And Assan has nearly 250 of them.

...

Harding: We should start charging Rook for this. Lucanis: Now you're talking!

...

Neve: There they go again. Emmrich: *sigh* Honestly, Rook, Manfred doesn't give me anywhere near as much trouble around water.

[jason-todd-is-a-real-mood]

Final thought after I finished the game : overall good, the characters are persuasive enough the fight can get messy with the camera but I like how they are useful. Good cinematics.

I also liked that solas is a scheming ass. The varic plot twist was nice because I often complained about his advices saying “yeah you say that leave it to me to just go take a nap”. So that’s one on me.

But still a lot of defaults for me :

As I feared, at the end nothing mattered about our previous games. Who is the divine ? Is there mages’ circle now that there is college ? And I would have thought that me helping Celeste keep her throne in inquisition would have her take my inquisitor words seriously ? Or is it not her anymore ? Morrigan and her archdemon son ? Her WARDEN Husband ? Don’t she feel a bit concern about that ?

Also I understand that perhaps each house is different and yes i do like the older brother vibe of viago but damn why are the crows so nice ? Did we forget they canonically buy child slaves and orphan to train them and you know… they die ? Or was it zevran milking the tear eyes story ? Because it didn’t sound like he was milking it ? I like a good family vibe assassin organisation like the next person, but this is too much !

I found the Rp not consistent enough like what do you mean my crow rook doesn’t know there is no sewer in Treviso ? And why can’t I participate in the conversation? Maybe I too want to teach Taash how to be a crow?

The romance from what I saw with Lucanis is lukewarm as well because you can’t interact that much about it. The kiss happened once and i don’t know they act like the opposite of “THEY WERE ROOMMATES”. And I liked the comments of the companions about your romance but there is nothing in veilguard except some passing conversations you can easily miss. (Dorian was so good at it )

And If they don’t want to speak with you, you can’t speak with any of the companions even after some big moments. and that’s a shame because, yes it’s pure lore, but also this is how I found myself so taken with characters like zevran, Cullen, iron bull, sera, Josephine… I want to have a drink with Taash about dragon, train with them to be a crow with a cape, talk about eleven artefacts with Bellara, Emmrich about necromancy… without having it be a part of their therapy quests. Like when you toss biscuits at people with sera !

ALSO WE STILL CANNOT SWIM I MEAN ???

So yeah good time as a separate game but too superficial as the finale of a saga. Though they kind of let a door open on that one so ?

[rom-e-o]

Sssooooo... do you keep it canon that Belisma can't swim? Because, even if she's not technically in the universe... Guinevere absolutely cannot.😂 She's terrified of any body of water she can't see the bottom of and wade in. Anything bigger and deeper than a shallow swimming pool gives her a panic attack.

And, no, I didn't really base this on the meme. I kinda decided it before all the memes started crossing my fyp.😅

OH YES. Belisma absolutely cannot swim, haha.

You would think she could with her dancer athleticism, but Nevarra isn't exactly filled with pools, fountains, rivers, or oceans to practice in. There's really nowhere TO swim, unlike places like Rivain (mostly oceanside beaches) or southern territories in Ferelden like the Hinterlands/Redcliffe (where Harding grew up).

So, as a result, she never learned. Put Isma on land, and she's as graceful as a swan. In water, she's like a concrete weight. She keeps this a secret, of course. Why bring it up?

However, this DOES mean that there is absolutely a point where Belisma falls into a lake after missing a jump. The team expresses sympathy ("Ough, that's gonna be uncomfortable for the rest of our trip back to camp..."), but when she doesn't resurface, Emmrich is the first to go in after him.

He, a former country boy, DID learn how to swim. And does it well.

Cue the others watching in peril as Emmrich shucks off his coat and dives in after her. Moments later, he pops up with a limp Isma in his arms, and effortlessly swims to shore.

Once she's on land, he's quick to roll her on her back and provide mouth-to-mouth. It's not long before she sputters up water and is wheezing, color slowly returning to her as Emmrich her back and coaxes her through the heaving. He's soaked to the bone, hair and clothes a mess, but he doesn't care.

That night, after they've made camp, I definitely see her calling to him from outside his tent. He opens the flap, and sees her dressed in his extra shirt, and extra pair of pants from Bellara, and wearing Manfred's boots (which also used to be Emmrich's, he notes with amusement) with her hair down and unbraided.

"I never thanked you," she said timidly as she stood awkwardly on the other side of his tent's threshold. "I'm so, so sorry for before. I should have been more careful."

Emmrich, who had only poked his head out at first, emerged fully from the tent to better speak to her. "Rook, dear, you have nothing to apologize for!"

"I put you in danger," she said. "The currents were strong, Emmrich."

"Only marginally."

"Still, if you hadn't dove in after me ..."

"Well, I certainly wasn't going to let you drown! I only apologize I didn't dive in sooner. I thought you would have known ... that is ... em ..."

She nodded shamefully. The woman had no real excuse for not knowing how to swim, especially at her 35 years of age.

"W-Well," Emmrich floundered, searching his mind for a way to make her feel better. He finally landed on, "It was a lovely excuse to settle down and make camp. Perfect for making tea and winding down."

Accentuating his point, he was donned only in his dressing gown, undershirt and spare trousers. The rest of his clothes were drying by the fire. Unlike some of his more rugged companions, he always brought a few extra sets of clothes. A gentleman had to always look his best, and one never knew when a teammate might need an extra top (or silk scarf, or two). His only other clean shirt was on her, though he couldn't help but notice that she wore it very well. The collar was open at the neck, and he could just barely make out the swell of her breasts beneath the fabric. It was also quite large on her petite frame. She practically swam in the sea of bone-yellow fabric, and the tails went to her mid-thigh. Something red-blooded and primal in him appreciated the vision she made in that moment.

"Emmrich?"

He cleared his throat thickly, and glanced back upward. "Ah, apologies. Like I was saying, Isma, please don't worry. Could you just promise me that you'll be a bit more careful around water? Perhaps we look for more direct paths instead of trying for shortcuts?"

"Okay," she said, her tone disbelieving. Was she ... relieved that he wasn't angry at her? "Y-Yes, that sounds perfect. I was trying to save time, but it's not worth getting hurt for. I'll remember to take things slower next time."

"Wonderful."

"And thank you! Um, again."

With a playful sigh, he accepted her thanks with a gracious nod. "Well, you are more than welcome. Perhaps swimming lessons are in order?"

The idea was acknowledged with a promising hum. "If we keep ending up in places like this ... maybe. Taash could teach me, I bet. Or ... "

"I'd be delighted!" Emmrich said, picking up the thread of conversation right where she'd dropped it. "I've been teaching Manfred as well! You can join our classes."

"Really? I-I ... would love that! If you don't mind the company, that is."

"Yours? Never."

Ah, so Guinevere is in the same boat? Our poor girls, haha. BUUUT, honestly, not being able to swim allows for so many good scenarios.

Imagine Emmrich diving in to save Guinevere if she falls? Like, if her and her ritzy family are taking a boat ride and she falls in during some chaos after two boat captains decided it would be good to race each other. Emmrich dives in afterward to rescue her, knowing she can't swim. That would be difficult, since they'd likely also be in more formal attire, and he'd need to catch up to a boat. But he would do it, and look positively dashing as he climbed the boat ladder with her in his arm, holding her to his chest.

Once they're back, he commands the whole crowd with a calm but authoritative urgency.

"I need blankets and a kettle of warm water! Someone please get her some dry clothes as well! Come on, Guinevere. I'll get you to your room."

He's a paragon of a man, through and through.

[callsign-mimic]

Masterpost

Allo! I'm Mimic, and I write sometimes. Pronouns are she/he/they. This is an 18+ blog, adult swim hours only. MDNI

Links to writings below the cut (cannot guarantee timely updates)

AO3

Ficlets:

Baking with Gaz and Soap (SFW, fluff)

Nikolai's Hugs (SFW, fluff)

Making Donuts with Soap (NSFW)

Nikolai's Dad Bod (SFW)

Café 141 (dark!141 coffee shop AU)

Fics:

Threads of Moonlight (Price x GN!Reader, SFW, fluff)

A Waltz With Patience (CoD OC fic, Castle x Mimic, mostly SFW)

Oral Fixation (CoD OC fic, Castle x Mimic, Rook x Chaos, slightly suggestive silly fluff)

CoD OCs "The Warforged":

A Part of the Pack (CoD OC fic, Saint x Mimic, NSFW at end)

Strangers in Strange Places (CoD OC fic, Silverado x Mimic, NSFW)

Captain Bastian "Big Papa" Reinhart

Lieutenant Renee "Mimic" Foster

Sergeant Michael "Stripper" Johnson

Sergeant Logan "Rusty" Steiner

[elfroot-and-laurels]

100 from the prompts for your rook!

I'm about to go cwazy with this one thank youuu mo

100: Escape/Chase/Hunted

The wolf is at the corner of their vision no matter what they do. As far as they run, as fast, as hard as they push their legs, still it remains, eyes glowing red in the dim warrens of the alienage. Its muzzle is streaked with gore, heavy padded feet whispering as they make contact with the broken cobbles, claws clacking against the stone. This should be Badhbh’s place. The wolf has no recourse here, no home, no den. They have the feeling that if they can simply make it to the vhenadahl, they’ll be safe, but every time they turn towards it, they find themself running away, down another alley that passes for a street, ramshackle houses and stores and buildings of all kinds choking what little space remains. No, they know this street. If they follow it, it will lead them to their home, and mother and father will be there, will protect them. The wolf cannot come inside, not there. And so Badhbh forces one last burst of energy into their tired legs, ignores the splitting pain in their side and the taste of copper in their mouth, and they run. Up to the door. It opens. Inside the house. Drop the bar. Lock it. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Somewhere outside, the wolf howls, despondent. Disappointed? Perhaps. Badhbh takes a moment, leans over, hands on their knees, and coughs, trying to dislodge the stitch in their lungs. But at their feet is a pool of blood, spreading toward them, staining their cracked and bruised toenails, toenails that are too small, feet that are too small, and Badhbh looks up and they are ten again and their parents are there in the middle of their home, throats cut, staring into nothing, hands barely touching. Badhbh wakes with a scream. They still feel as though they’ve been running, still feel the lack of breath as though it’s been yanked from their throat. Hurriedly, they reach for the lyrium dagger on their belt, nearly falling from the settee to the floor of their meditation room as they do. Something tells them they must have it, must hold it, must wield it against whatever stalks them. Slowly, they come back to reality. The fish in their tank swim, dancing lazily, unafraid beyond the glass that separates them from the air. Badhbh’s lungs calm, and at last they sit up, then stand. In the corner of their eye, they think they see the shadow of a wolf.

[comingyourlugubriousness]

Happy Birthday Yume Ume: Personal Story (Part 2/3)

Part: 1 / 2 / 3

Yume *skimming the book* Oh this passage is interesting too! Hm? Are these notes in the margins…?

Leona: Are you gonna read the whole book in front of me? That’s pretty rude, runt.

Yume: *sarcastically* Hm? *holds hand up to their ear* Did someone over the age of 18 just try and speak to me? 

Leona: Yume, I don’t have to be here, y’know.

Yume: *Laughs* Okay okay, sorry, let's start the interview.

Leona: If you could bring one person with you on a deserted island, who would you choose? However; the catch is you cannot bring someone from your dorm.

Yume: Ah that sucks…I guess in this case I’ll count both the Ramshackle and Ignihyde as my dorms. Hmm… well no offense to my brothers and Grim but I'm not sure how useful they would be. 

Leona:  Fair enough.

Yume: Ortho would be ideal, so long as he has a full battery charge. And Idia…*speaking wearily* Would provide me with motivation to escape as soon as possible before he withers.

Leona: Ha! *smirk* What a kind way of saying he would be useless.

Yume: *trying not to laugh* Excuse me, sir! 

Yume: *in nasally voice, pushing up glasses* Moral support is crucial to the team comp!  Anyway-! *clears throat* I guess in this case the “how” we got to the island doesn’t matter. On a deserted island; food is possibly sparse, with no guarantee of fresh water. I assume communication is impossible through normal means and that we are without magic devices.

Leona: *agreeing* One could assume.

Yume: *muttering to self; holding hand to face in thought* Survival is definitely the main goal; but there are other outside factors you have to consider. Such as how to escape, who is looking for you, and if rescue is an option.

Leona:...* crosses arms impatiently*

Yume: *still rambling* Food, while important, falls secondary to fresh water; if provided with enough; escape doesn’t need to be immediate.

Leona: *slightly fed up* Hurry up and pick someone, runt!

Yume: *pouting* Don’t rush me! HMmm

Yume: Rook comes to mind first; I’ve seen first hand his survival and camping skills and I have no doubt he could help keep us both alive for a good duration of time…though I’m not sure how well rescue or escaping would go.

Leona: Yeah, but would you be able to deal with that creep?

Yume: That’s funny coming from you, lol. But he can be a bit much…then again *Closes eyes in thought* taking either of the twin’s could be advantageous…

Leona: *surprised* You mean the ones who skulk around with the Octo-punk?

Yume: It’s not my first choice, but Jade and Floyd are merfolk. Theoretically they could swim fast and travel out into the ocean for rescue. But…

Leona: *urging them to hurry and continue* But…

Yume: *sighs* I’d be left to fend for myself and probably wouldn't last long…and there's no real guarantee they would come back unless promised something…they're both too unpredictable.

Leona: *makes noise of agreement*

Yume: *talking to self* Someone from Diasomnia…well I don’t know all of them too well…

Leona: *slightly annoyed* You're taking too long; don’t be indecisive, you’d die on this island just thinking about what to do.

Yume: *puffs out cheeks* Don’t rush me! *huffs and closes their eyes. thinking* Someone I can get along with well, that could help me survive, and assist in escaping…its got to be…Aha! Kalim!

Leona:*raises an eyebrow. No disapproving.* Explain?

Yume: Kalim is easygoing by nature, it isn’t too hard for me to keep him focused on a task. Plus with his unique magic he could provide us both with fresh water daily. Making our only focus food/shelter. I’m used to roughing it at the Ramshackle and I know how to fish from camping! 

Yume: *throwing hands up* Not to mention Kalim is crazy rich and important to his family. I’m certain they would have a means to locate and look for him; *whispers and leans over* if Jamil doesn’t already have him chipped *snickers*

Leona: *small noise of amusement*

Yume: Based on all that I can’t imagine we would be there for more than a few days tops. And with our combined co operation and his magic we should be relatively comfortable. *they nod to themselves; approving of their own answer*

Leona: Hm, I see.

Yume: *squinting* What’s with that look? You got a better answer?

Leona: No, in fact, that was my answer too.

Yume: *genuine surprise*...Oh! Great minds think alike then I guess. *they grin*

Leona: …Don’t get ahead of yourself. *rolls his eyes, but there is a hint of appreciation*.

FINAL PART COMING SOON!