#roofing quote involves

[rosemaryhoney27]

Saint Danny of Gotham (Now With Suplexes!)

aka: He Said ‘Please’ Before Throwing a Man Into the River

Vlad was convinced now. Convinced that Danny was playing the longest, most chaotic, sugar-dusted con in existence.

Because everyone in Wayne Manor was falling for it.

Bruce had offered to let Danny shadow him on patrol. The man who trusted no one, not even his own toothbrush, had handed over a stealth suit and said, “Just keep to rooftops for now.” And Danny—sweet, shining, horror-child Danny—had nodded solemnly, promised to follow the rules, and then baked power bars for the Batfam before they left.

“Do not eat these,” Vlad warned, dramatically pointing to the bag. “They’re probably cursed. Or contain caffeine in unnatural quantities. Or powdered ghost pepper.”

Jason bit into one. “Mmm. Is that cinnamon?”

“They’re ghost-infused,” Danny said. “Boosts stamina and shields against low-level hexes.”

“I like this kid,” Jason said with his mouth full.

Later That Night: Gotham, 2:17 AM

It was a quiet patrol. Eerily quiet. Bruce was starting to feel unsettled. Not because there wasn’t crime (it was Gotham, come on), but because Danny was exactly where he was supposed to be.

On the comms, he sounded calm. Observant. Even helpful.

“Nightwing,” Danny said politely, “you’ve got a guy two roofs behind you holding a camera with a suspicious lens. Might be paparazzi.”

Dick checked. “Confirmed. You’ve got sharp eyes, kid.”

“Thanks! I used to have to keep track of invisible enemies and ghost wraiths back home, so spotting guys in beanies is kind of a vacation.”

Jason snorted. “Okay, but if he starts hovering again, I’m bailing. No one told me I’d be working with Casper.”

“Casper wishes he had my dodge stats,” Danny replied sweetly.

And then they reached the warehouse.

The intel had said “minor drug deal.” What it actually was? A gang-run blood ritual involving some kind of ancient Gotham artifact, two rogue mages, and at least one very punchable demon with a man bun.

Bruce was about to give the team orders when—

“Excuse me,” Danny said over the comms.

There was a crash. A scream. And a large, extremely tattooed man was suddenly airborne, launched straight through the air by a glowing teenager with a blinding smile and zero hesitation.

SPLASH. Into the river.

Everyone froze.

“…Did he just suplex a man into the Gotham River?” Tim asked.

“He said excuse me,” Steph whispered, horrified and impressed.

“He said please when he knocked the other guy out,” Damian muttered. “I watched.”

On the other side of the warehouse, Danny hovered above the last gang member, eyes glowing, voice still gentle.

“Hi. You seem like you’re rethinking your life choices. Want to surrender before I have to do more cardio?”

The guy dropped his knife and cried.

Back at the Cave

Danny was back in the kitchen, once again wearing his “I cook with spirit” apron, handing out celebratory cookies. Damian was scowling less. Cass had silently handed him one of her spare blades. Even Tim had given him the “you can’t be trusted, but I vibe with it” nod.

Bruce stared at the footage on the Batcomputer.

Danny, calm. Danny, efficient. Danny, using polite phrasing while delivering WWE-level combat moves with glowing fists and sparkles trailing behind him.

Vlad, across the cave, pointed furiously. “SEE? SEE?! Look at him! LOOK AT THIS!”

“He’s very polite,” Bruce said.

“He suplexed a man through the roof of a warehouse!”

“And said please.”

“HE BIT A SORCERER LAST WEEK.”

“He apologized after,” Tim added helpfully. “I checked the audio. He said, and I quote, ‘Sorry! That’s the ectoplasm talking!��”

“He vaporized a ghost snake in front of Commissioner Gordon and then offered him a tissue,” Steph noted, scrolling through her photos. “It was weirdly wholesome.”

Vlad slumped dramatically into the nearest chair. “I am surrounded by idiots. Gotham is cursed. My nephew is a gremlin in cherub’s clothing and I am losing my mind.”

Danny poked his head in, oven mitts on. “Uncle Vlad? I made brownies with ecto-marshmallow. Want one?”

Vlad opened his mouth to say something scathing.

Danny: 🥺

“…Yes, fine, but only the corner piece.”

Jason: “That’s right, he’s ours now.”

[gainahan]

naruto driving headcanons

Naruto - definitely not licensed. debatable whether he actually knows which one is the brake pedal. as long as Sakura is alive he will not be allowed behind the wheel of a car. unknowable/10

Sasuke - also not technically licensed, but all things considered a pretty decent driver. probably started driving well before he was legally old enough to. 7.5/10

Sakura - road rage extraordinaire. swears up and down she goes the speed limit but in truth goes at minimum 10 over. “speed limit is a suggestion” more like speed limit is a challenge. at the very least she gets them where they need to go. 5.5/10

Sai - never learned to drive until he met team 7. between Naruto and Sakura’s influences, he won’t be getting licensed for at least the next 6 years. good luck/10

Shikamaru - truly cannot be arsed. if asked to drive he claims to not have a license, but he definitely does. another unknowable/10 but I like to think in a pinch he’d be pretty good at it.

Choji - reliable driver but has a tendency to be late. gets stressed out when he has more than a few passengers. 6/10

Ino - wants to be a passenger princess soo badly. unfortunately for her, she’s the best on her team. being good at driving is her curse. woefully, 10/10

Kiba - team 8’s designated driver, believe it or not. he is…not good at it, per se, but better than the rest of them. having two sets of eyes on the road tends to help. 6.5/10

Hinata - gets so stressed out she forgets how to brake. she’ll be white knuckling the wheel going 50 in a residential while her passengers pray for their lives in the backseat. -2/10 her dad’s insurance is through the roof

Shino - morally opposed to driving. he hasn’t confirmed why but the running theory is that a swarm of his bugs faceplanted into the windshield once and traumatized him. unknowable/10

Neji - doesn’t believe in right-of-way. refuses to use his mirrors. whole heartedly believes he is god’s gift to the interstate. by some miracle has never gotten into a crash, but if any of his passengers are sensible people he is banned from the wheel. 0/10

Tenten - makes Sakura’s road rage look like divinely inspired patience. honestly she’s not even mad she just enjoys it. has to be actively talked down from brake checking people. banned from the wheel 0/10

Lee - while technically a perfect driver (obeys every speed limit, never makes an illegal turn, maneuvers like butter), having him in the front seat is such an intolerable experience he’s also banned from the wheel. those unfortunate enough to have witnessed it don’t speak of their experience, but rumors involve something along the lines of a custom-made Gai inspirational quotes driving playlist. 0/10

Temari - grew up driving her brothers around. Absolutely hates it. when she’s in a car she’s got her feet up on the dashboard and always has the aux. if she were to drive again, 9.5/10

Gaara - an…extremely calm, level headed driver? side effect of RBF is that everyone is always waiting for him to snap and run someone over. he never has. probably listens to calming classical music or something while in traffic jams. 10000/10

Kankuro - I find it funny to believe he’s the actual passenger princess. unknowable/10

[fridgrave2-0]

I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay with ford being an absolute asshole towards fiddleford and basically abusing him.

first of all, yes, it's not ford's fault that he was manipulated (doubtful tbh) and abused by bill, but that doesn't give him the right to be a jerk who closes his eyes on his friend's deepest traumas. the traumas fiddleford got only because stanford completely ignored his warning and got fidds involved into bunch of shit. like his monster hunting which wasn't even the reason fiddleford went to gravity falls in the first place. he was there to help ford build the portal, not to be a part of ford's anomaly quest. and when fiddleford spoke out against it he was ignored because ford doesn't give a shit about anyone else but himself or his muse. fiddleford got traumatized physically and mentally so deeply that in the need to be able to sleep at night peacefully he completely destroyed his mind to the state that even bill was scared to be in there. and what stanford did? he (the one who couldn't care less about fidds warning him about gremoblin) critiqued fiddleford for using the memory gun and didn't even bother to apologize or say that he's sorry in the journal. god, what am I saying, he didn't even took fiddleford to the hospital after fiddleford feel from the sky through the roof of a fucking barn with a dozen of poisonous quills in his body AND A BROKEN ARM. ford described what happened to fidds in the journal, said he "took him home for a treatment" and the next two paragraphs on the other page is "good news the hyperdrive works" LIKE IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THE HELL??? "despite our fortune, I have become worried about my assistant... I myself have survived many monster attacks without trauma, but perhaps F is more sensitive that I realized". no shit sherlock, who would've imagine that seeing your worst nightmares and being poisoned can leave a mark on your mental state. sure it's just fiddleford, he's just overreacting because he's "sensitive"))) /src

ford was ignoring fiddleford's concerns all the fucking time that mcgucket was there with him, he took a superstitious and religious guy with anxiety into the forest with real ass monsters who's no one but ford is used to see. fiddleford was warning stanford about shifty and got kidnapped with his identity stolen by the shapeshifter because ford didn't listen. well, at least this time stanford had bothered to apologize for another traumatic event- ah no, next thing ford said is that when the portal is finished all the traumas fiddleford had been through were "worth it". ford just finds ways to make everything worse

we all know that fiddleford has an addictive personality and that the memory gun is the biggest example of that. what we don't talk enough about is that ford at some point decided that sleeping is for losers, but didn't stop at himself and made fiddleford drink 13 fucking cups of coffee, not allowing him to sleep, what in the future made fiddleford a caffeine addict. ford is not only an overworking idiot who gladly damages his own health, no! he wants fiddleford to be the same and quote "gets frustrated" when fiddleford cares not only about his own, but their both basic needs. fiddleford had to work on the portal, get in the trouble with monsters because of ford, but also babysit this manchild to prevent him collapsing from exhaustion (which is more impossible than building a giant portal into the multiverse)

and here we are, the portal testing. once again (and as always) fiddleford did warned ford about everything. fiddleford was working without breaks for days to make sure if the portal will work, and when he found the flaws, he wrote a whole fucking thesis paper, putting all ford's research into a solid work (not taking even smallest credit even tho he was the one to build the portal. when fiddleford had his own theory in the university, ford helped him to only proof that fidds wasn't going crazy by checking the calculations and ford bothered to take the credit for the whole theory, but fiddleford who was a part and a victim of this monumental theory of weirdness didn't took it because he unlike ford doesn't care only about fame). but what did stanford do? he assumed that fiddleford wanted to steal his fucking fame and backstab him. ford didn't even bother to look at something fiddleford was making for three days without resting to make sure that portal won't hurt anyone in the town and that ford won't end up with empty hand if the portal was indeed a lost cause. stanford coldly dismissed fiddleford like they weren't friends, said that he doesn't really waiting fiddleford for the test of the device that fiddleford did built, and even knowing that the portal was dangerous fiddleford chose to come for the test

and then fiddleford got in the portal and it was the biggest traumatic event for him. it was the breaking point for him from which he couldn't stop using the memory gun. it damaged him so much, that he turned from that bright 30-y.o. man into the familiar to us old man mcgucket in the span of two years. his life was ruined for another 30 years, a half of his life he was a mad lonely guy who lived in the junkyard. the man who could've become someone like steve jobs but much better if only he didn't go to help stanford. his family could've been full, tate could have his father. the incident with the portal was the moment of no return for fiddleford, and what did stanford do?

when fiddleford got sucked in the portal, he thought only about the success of his work, that for fidds it was "a remarkable opportunity to confirm or deny the theory" (which he already did with his pre-test research). he didn't think that it was dangerous on the other side, that the portal wouldn't just disintegrate fidds on atoms. and when stanford saw him speaking in a non-human way, shaking and twitching in shock like fiddleford did after the gremoblin incident, ford decided it was nothing. when fiddleford warned him about the apocalypse because he was in the portal and saw it with his own eyes, ford, as always, didn't listen. he didn't just not care about fidds' condition — he diminished everything fiddleford was feeling and everything he witnessed only because it didn't fit in ford's believes which were based just on bill's words (and for stanford it's not something new to belittle things related to fiddleford. he wasn't taking fidds' dream of creating a portable computer seriously, believing that his weirdness theory was much more important)

and after this, stanford insults fiddleford and his family in the journal. he says that he doesn't regret their partnership (it's not really a partnership if stanford didn't count fiddleford as an equal) and friendship breaking up. "to think I considered him a friend!" I doubt he ever did. stanford doesn't know shit about being a good friend (or even a decent person) to someone who sacrificed everything for him. who did put his life aside to be with ford, who cared enough to stay despite stanford again and again putting him in danger, constantly waving him away and feeling no remorse for that. fiddleford was breaking himself for this guy, he canonically was going through "I am nobody to ford if I don't build stuff for him" (and in the end this is exactly what happened). fiddleford didn't tell ford most of his fears and concerns because he didn't want to bother him. fidds was constantly scared and kept in inside because he wanted to be a "better partner". "if I have an anxiety, I will pop anxiety pills", "I'm gonna get through this". and then he didn't

fiddleford was abused by stanford. he was to stanford that ford was to bill, in some ways even worse. it's fucking wild that fiddleford did forgive ford after 30 years of a neverending madness nightmare with his mind being destroyed so much as like it was the earth in the times of the dinosaurs after being hit by the meteorite. fiddleford had lost literally everything, he wasn't even himself for a half of his life and still fidds found the strength to forgive someone who is responsible for it and who used him with regular emotional neglect. and you know what? fuck this. ford would never forgive bill and fiddleford had every right to stay mad at stanford. ford needed to be stuck in the portal to get his head out of the ass and by that time there were only crumbs of someone who fiddleford once was

fiddauthor and billford both are about abuse and toxic relationships. it's up to you what you like to ship, but we need to acknowledge the fact that fiddauthor isn't some fluffy healthy thing where both are happy. fiddleford was never happy and stanford didn't care about fiddleford and his feelings. they made each other worse and ford ruined fidds' life. THIS is the real fiddauthor

[rafeslittlepup]

hii how r you?? i’m feeling that sexist!rafe and reader would be a huge part of their church and are either devout catholics or southern baptist. maybeeee mormon but like in a nara and lucky way. their family sits on the front pew, and they donate loads to the church for like roof repairs, a stained glass mural, all that. maybe they have a plaque somewhere in the chapel thanking them for their contributions to the church. rafe thinks it’s important to have a ‘good relationship’ with the lord but that applies more to reader and the kids than to him (he picks and chooses which verses apply to him and likes the ones about women being homemakers and having to submit to their husbands and shit). maybe she runs the bible study afterwards OR OMG she runs sunday school for the little kids who can’t sit still through the full service and he loves it because she’s just so sweet and patient with kids and she’s just his dream girl. making those oranges with the cloves in them with the kids during advent and stuff and they all loveee her. and the kids are super involved too, going to sunday school, they’re christened and baptised as babies and confirmed when they’re like 10. maybe reader had a purity ring before she met rafe and their little girl gets one too and rafe is just so proud and loves that she’s just like her mother.

- 🗽xx

(sorry for the rant xoxo)

im leaning southern baptist over cath. catholicism may be too rigid and high-concept for them. southern baptist lets them live out their “husband as king, wife as bunny angel” fantasy. lets them have gender roles, family hierarchy and God’s blessing without the pressure of centuries of dogma and confession. BUT they definitely admire caths for the vibe and might steal aesthetics when it suits them (like purity rings and saint names).

the vibe is: perfectly dressed kids, white dresses on confirmation day, casserole duty every sunday, and a very aesthetic family Bible on the coffee table that reader annotates with glitter pens and pastel tabs. rafe loves when she quotes proverbs. she doesn’t even realize he only memorizes the parts that say stuff like “wives, submit to your husbands.” i talked about this already but she def posts “grwm for church” and “packing my luke 18:1 diy bookmarks for sunday school!” also the kids were all baptized as babies and confirmed as pre-teens. rosalie belle wears a tiny purity ring rafe bought at a Christian bookstore and reader cried when he gave it to her.

[thedickcavettshow]

Can you tell us a little more about Joan Baez's girlfriend Kimmie? I'm curious about who she was and you seem to be the expert

Hiiii sorry this took so long to answer lol. Turns out I have a lot to say on this subject. Kimmie is a fascinating person and has lived a pretty wild life.

I'll just preface this by saying firstly I'm not an expert, I've just done a lot of research out of curiosity. Secondly, there is an absolute TON of misinformation out there about Kimmie, so everything that I'll tell you is stuff I learned from quotes directly from Joan, Kimmie, and other people they knew. The majority of this information is coming from Joan's memoir And a Voice to Sing With (1987) and Kimmie's interviews in the book Pearl: The Obsessions and Passions of Janis Joplin by Ellis Amburn (1992).

Joan Baez met Kim Chappell in the early 60s, when Kim was 17 years old and just freshly graduated from high school. Kim was a California surfer girl and Joan describes her by saying she "blew in, fresh, tan, skittery, ragged, shy, rebellious" and describes having sex with her as being "superb and utterly natural".

in 1962 Joan bought Kim a motorcycle and they rented a house together and they both adopted Doberman pinscher puppies. They often appeared in public together pretending to just be platonic friends, and Joan brought Kim along with her on tour, and Kim served as Joan's assistant and took care of her records. Kim also wrote some songs for her. They broke up after Kim trashed their bedroom because she got jealous of Joan's interest in a man she met on tour, but they remained friends after breaking up and Kim continued to work as Joan's assistant for a while. The time they spent together was positive, definitely one of the most pleasant of Joan's relationships, and Joan has said that being together taught her a lot about herself and about love and sex. Kim said of Joan in 1992 "Joan Baez was my first lover and brought me out and I still haven't recovered from that woman".

In the mid 60s, Kim became a heavy drug user, and in 1965 at a party with Jerry Garcia she took a little too much acid and climbed to the roof with an axe and began chopping the roof apart, then got onto her motorcycle (the one Joan bought her) and drove 120 mph to Joan’s house, climbed in through a window, and passed out in the middle of Joan’s living room. Joan called Kim's mother and they brought Kim to the hospital, and unfortunately that event pretty much ended their friendship.

While in the hospital, Kim was introduced to heroin, and immediately became very addicted. After being released from the hospital, Kim met a woman named Peggy Casetra (a name that is probably familiar/infamous to anyone who knows a bit about Janis Joplin) and they fell very much in love with each other. Peggy owned a boutique in San Francisco called Mnasidika (Sappho reference) and was also a heavy drug user.

Kim met Janis Joplin backstage at a show at the very beginning of Janis' career, and Janis was instantly attracted to her and pursued her. Since Kim and Peggy were not monogamous, Kim accepted her advances, although she felt that Janis would get along better with Peggy and decided to introduce them the next day. Both Kim and Peggy became close friends with Janis, and Janis was extremely enamored with them specifically because of Kim's relationship with Joan Baez. Janis and Peggy became lovers, and Janis’ friend Sunshine Nichols says "When Janis described Peggy to me, the first thing she said was, 'Well, Peggy's lover was involved with Joan Baez.'" The fact that she dated Joan was one of the first things Kim had told Janis when they first met. Apparently she got a kick out of telling people about it. Peggy and Kim were still together during the entire time that Peggy was seeing Janis, which at first Kim was fine with, but Janis eventually came to wanting Peggy to leave Kim for her and that soured the friendship between Kim and Janis slightly.

Kim and Peggy did not break up, even though they had a lot of issues with their relationship, which were not all caused by Janis. Kim was apparently a terrible driver, which really angered Peggy and they fought about driving which frequently escaladed into full-on fistfights. Kim was always driving way too fast and at one point she drove straight through a brand new $1500 fence. The fact that they were both extremely addicted to heroin obviously didn't help. They both did a lot of stupid stuff while high. This is a quote from Kim about a time she broke several of her ribs in the late 60s because she was trying to go to the bathroom late at night but was so high that she ended up on the second floor balcony instead: "I sat down on what I thought was the toilet, but it was thin air and I fell off the second-story porch, landing in a forked sapling. It was easily a ten- or twelve-foot drop. I lay there in the tree, stone naked, and I remember seeing stars and saying to myself, 'Oh, what a beautiful night!' Then I passed out."

Even though they had their issues Kim and Peggy were very openly and proudly a lesbian couple, so everyone around them knew about it. They spoke about being gay pretty openly, and they had a classic butch/femme dynamic (Kim was butch) that they made no attempt to conceal. The members of Janis' band and the other people she worked with strongly disapproved of them, and Albert Grossman, Janis’ manager (and Bob Dylan’s), tried very hard to keep the two of them away from Janis, because he felt that they were a bad influence on her and didn’t want her to get involved with “the gay thing”. Obviously he was not successful with this. Unfortunately their openness about being gay had a pretty negative effect on the two of them after Janis’ death.

After Janis' death, a lot of the people Kim and Peggy knew blamed them because they already had negative feelings about them and they were a pretty easy target. This was exacerbated in 1973 when Going Down With Janis, a "biography" about Janis' life written by a ghostwriter named Dan Knapp under Peggy's name was published. Peggy had agreed to let Knapp write a biography about Janis and had told him many stories about their time together, but Knapp took those stories and twisted them into something unrecognizable that just existed to shock and scandalize readers. Going Down With Janis did garner a bit of a cult following for being notoriously depraved and shocking, but unfortunately it's mostly made up. The book was essentially just Knapp's degrading sex fantasies about Janis written as though they were true facts and written from Peggy’s perspective. When the book was released, Peggy was horrified by its contents because she loved Janis and had only told Knapp positive stories about their time together. The book painted Peggy and Kim as Janis’ abusers and implicitly blamed them for Janis’ death.

After the book was published, Kim and Peggy faced enormous backlash from pretty much everyone they knew which led to Kim almost being murdered in an attempt at revenge. One night in the mid 70s while Kim, Peggy, and some friends were at a lesbian bar in Los Angeles called Bacchanal-70, Janis' former heroin dealer assaulted Kim in the alley behind the bar and stabbed her three times in the chest, puncturing both her lungs, and then left her there to die. Luckily, Kim was able to make it back inside the bar and she was rushed to the hospital. She was in critical condition but she managed to pull through and made a full recovery. She and Peggy split up for good after that.

By the 1990s, Kim managed to get sober after a very long and debilitating addiction that almost killed her many times. She said in 1992, "I finally managed to get clean; though I still enjoy marijuana and a glass of wine with a meal, I'm careful not to abuse."

This is the most recent picture of her that exists in the public, taken in the early 90s. There isn't any information about her since then.

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Below the cut are every req I have at the moment, I will be adding and subtracting as I go but I thought it was important to make a list so you all can see

Also I hope it’s understandable enough I’ve been told my decorating skills leave something to the imagination

What band is being written for at the moment: Metallica

Link to Masterlist

It felt wrong to not add a photo and I thought it made sense for it to be Dave

Guns N’ Roses

---Axl Rose---

Angst to smut (hate fucking) with 80’s-90’s Axl where he’s mocking her moans and being mean (“you had so much to say earlier, now look at you” “all you’re attitudes gone”)

Axl who think “a real man won’t care about shark week” and fucks reader in the shower, rough rough sex

Axl and male squirting… many thoughts, head full

---Duff McKagan---

00’s velvet revolver duff with rough sex

---Izzy Stradlin---

Face riding with Izzy and he’s completely pussy drunk on reader and her legs are shaking and then when she thinks he’s done he flips her over and fucks her

That time Izzy left Guns and fell of the face of the earth

Izzy and reader (who are dating) get drunk and end up fucking on the roof of his car -getting caught by Axl

---Slash---

Slash x m/gn!reader x2

Getting high on sex pollen

Sugar daddy dilf dom Slash with a significantly younger reader, rough sex, sex dungeon, etc.

Slash eats pineapple so his cum tastes better

Piss kink and age gap relationship

Reader and Slash are mad and jealous but they make up, and I quote, 'realllll good'

Slash can't keep up with controversially young reader bc all she wants to do is fuck like rabbits

Reader is a cat!hybrid

A whole fic dedicated to Slash fingering reader

Dilf Slash with a seemingly innocent reader and they go out to exercise or something and Slash gets turned on by her huffing and puffing and takes her home (choking, spanking, breeding, toys, restraints, etc.)

---Steven Adler---

Filthy rotten animal sex with groupie!reader

Megadeth

---Dave Mustaine---

Dave with inexperienced reader

00’s Dave with younger reader (20’s), treats her nice but can be a dick, she’s whining one day and he lashes out at her and makes her cry so he makes it up to her (ends in smut)

Reader does Dave’s makeup and he goes down on her, leaving lipstick marks on her thighs

90’s glasses Dave cuddling with reader and paying some attention to her tits

Tired Dave lets reader ride him and he’s just all moaning and whining

90’s Dave who’s tough and manly but then he gets high and is all giggly and blushy and keeps complimenting reader

Dilf dom Dave calls transmasc reader ‘good boy’ (quick heads-up I still don’t understand transmasc I just know it’s different to ftm but I will try my best)

Lost Somewhere In Time with Dave (instead of James - I have also done it with Slash)

Reader is a stripper and Dave gets involved but he’s tired of blowjobs handjobs and lap dances so he fucks her hard

Dave being really rough and degrading with reader and then she starts crying bc she had a bad day and just wanted love so then Dave apologizes and gets all soft and sweet with her

Dave x POC!reader (I will try my best but still very very painfully white writer here bear with me but I do want to write inclusively)

DILF Dave with a much younger reader and Dave has a very big daddy kink

Having sex in the sun with Dave

Woodstock Dave with an annoying fan, brat taming

Reader riding Dave for the first time (heavy praise and degrading kink)

Dave x ftm!reader smut

Reader x Torchy Thompson

Interview with sfsgsw Dave where he doesn't even try to hide his affection for her and afterwards he takes her home with him and is super rough with her

Reader begs 00's Dave to take her out shopping and he agrees only if she wears (???) a vibrator

Dave x weird girl *cough cough autism*

Metallica

---James Hetfield---

Older James degrading reader and then getting sweet when he’s done

Comforting James after he has a bad dream (flash backs to his mom dying)

James x Latina!gf (I’m white very very white I burn in winter white but I can try 😞)

Cowboy James and he treats reader like royalty (it specifies red dead redemption but I was thinking Yellowstone

Part two to the werewolf James fic

Part two of the James demon fic

SKOM James x reader x current James (I should’ve come up with a proper plot for Lost Somewhere in Time but I didn’t so we’re trying)

Part two of the virginity kink

Reload James x reader x current James, younger James gets too rough and current James show him what reader likes before letting younger James fuck her again

95 James with pregnant wife reader who’s hormones are making her really horny and they’re just always fucking and he says that once the first baby comes he’ll knock her up again bc she’s his sex goddess

Older James x younger reader who really wants him like bad so finally he gives in but then she needs him to get her pregnant and he realizes he’s a goner

Hardwire James having a soft spot for James

Needy older James in public

Part 2 of 'I'm Not Gay' IT'S COMING

Viking James

Part 3 of Blood and Tears

Insecure reader who's chubby but James is just crazy about it and doesn't understand how she could hate it (smut and fluff with a touch of angst)

---Jason Newsted---

Dry humping while making out with Jason

Manhandling with undercut Jason

---Kirk Hammett---

Part two to the bankrupt lie, reader and Kirk talk about it and Kirk convinces James and Lars to apologize to reader (fluff with optional smut?)

Load era Kirk, jealousy with rough sex

Dilf Kirk (just had this idea for a plot - business man Kirk and reader is his new assistant… you know exactly where I’m going)

80's Kirk with a girlfriend who is also in a band

---Lars Ulrich---

Feminization (Lars in a tiny pink dress and white lacy panties) and a piss kink, Lars is on the verge of tears as he tries his best but reader is teasing him nonestop

Dom 00’s Lars being possessive while he “makes love” to reader

2002 Lars hurt/comfort (comforting him)

Mötley Crüe

---Nikki Sixx---

Readers a cop and pulls Nikki over, ends in smut

Nikki’s a stripper

Older Nikki x younger roadie/backup singer reader, he seduces her basically

Safe Words!

---Tommy Lee---

19-20 yo reader and 40 yo Tommy, they know it’s wrong but it feels right

Dom!Tommy x reader

Safe Words!

Multiple (threesome+)

Dave Mustaine x reader x James Hetfield (piss kink, daddy kink, double stuffing) (someone asked for Woodstock threesome so we’re killing two birds with one stone)

Izzy Stradlin x reader x Slash with reader doing Eiffel Tower position

Joe Elliott x reader x Jon Bon Jovi

Metallica gangbang (I’m thinking load era)

Slash and (Axl or Izzy) find reader trying LSD for the first time and while she’s going through it they’re being all sweet and trip sitting but then when she comes down from it they’re scolding her like disappointed parents (I assume this is in current times)

(This one is NOT for everyone) Slash and Axl with a depressed and suicidal reader who goes into a really dark place and ends up self harming and they find her, they get really protective and don’t leave her alone (angst and fluff)

Nikki and Tommy are dating reader and they find her trying drugs and they’re pissed

Reader is Duff’s girlfriend and it’s her birthday, he asks her what she wants and she says a threesome with him and Tommy Lee

James x reader x Kirk (load era) reader has a muscle kink

Other

---Billy Idol---

I’ve gotten reqs bc he’s hot

---Bret Michael---

Rikki Rocket’s sibling just came out as a trans guy (he’s super supportive) it’s been a while since the band last saw reader and Bret is finding him attractive even now that he’s started transitioning (not sure how far into the transition surgery/hormone wise) they start hooking up and fail at hiding it from Rikki who’s gotten much more protective of reader since coming out

---Castor Hetfield---

Angst to fluff

---Dave Murray---

Reader finds Iron Maiden at a bar and is initially flirting with someone else and then but then he swoops in and steals her

---Glenn Danzig---

Sex demon Glenn, horns, tail, really bright red or yellow eyes

He refuses to touch reader and makes her touch herself while he watches and teases her about being horny and needy

Reader and Glenn are watching horror movies on Halloween and it gets spicy

---Glenn Townsend---

Part two to the full fic

---Janick Gers---

Sneaking off with him on a walk with the band

---Joe Elliott---

Soft smut

NSFW Alphabet

---Peter Steele---

Peter is dating reader and they’re in a forest, reader sits in peters lap innocently but he makes her ride his thigh instead

Peter x an actual Christian woman who tries to pray away her sinful thoughts but he gets to her

Werewolf Peter

---Rick Savage---

Rick Savage meets an addict and decides to help her out, ends up taking her back to the U.K. and idk smut ig this wasn't a req I just need a reason to finish it

---Robert Plant---

Reader and Robert are friends and they go shopping, Robert finds bellbottoms he wants but can’t get them on so reader helps him in the dressing room, smut in the dressing room

---Sami Yaffa---

Shy, quiet, insecure reader x Sami Yaffa smut

---Tom Keifer---

Just more Tom Keifer

---Tye Trujillo---

Tye saves you after a surfing accident

[kalikalahansa]

If you don't mind answering, could you please give some tips for messing untraining, I already wear / use 24/7 but would really appreciate any insights you could give to help the training along :)

Hey, anon. Sorry for the delay; I was going to give a much more exhaustive answer to this but it ended up just getting in the way. Here is what I can tell you.

As a headnote, I don't know if you already mess 24/7; some people say they "wear and use 24/7" and mean that they wear 24/7, wet their diapers 24/7, and mess their diapers whenever they feel like it. The quote marks here aren't intended to discredit them; I think that is a valid way of interpreting the words in question, I'm only addressing it because it causes some ambiguity in this case. I'm going to assume you don't already use 24/7, in part because it will make the message more useful to people who don't.

Messing makes retraining significantly less likely

I've had a few correspondents who've untrained messing and attempted to retrain. Very few have made significant progress; I'm 1 of maybe 2 I know. I think none so far have successfully retrained.

I don't have facts about this but I do have a hypothesis. Wetting and messing control, as well as to some extent voiding, are co-ordinated by muscles that mechanically rely to some extent on the pelvic floor. Using control maintains the tone of those muscles and the pelvic floor. When either wetting or messing control is deliberately abandoned, it leads to the pelvic floor and the connected muscles losing tone.

Giving up wetting control causes the pelvic floor to lose some tone, subsequently raising the risk of messing accidents. However, maintaining messing control maintains some tone and also refreshes muscle memory of the sequence of movements involved in using the pelvic floor to support voiding control. Subsequently giving up messing control removes any checks on diminution of muscle tone and also makes it easier for toilet-trained muscle memory about voiding to be replaced by an automatic process based on reflex.

If this hypothesis is correct then the following might be an applicable metaphor: Toilet training controls voiding like a house controls your experience of the weather. Wetting untraining knocks down two walls of the house, collapsing the roof; the house is no longer usable as a house, because the sun and wind and rain can get in and the electrics are probably fucked, but there's still an artificial structure there. Messing untraining knocks down the other two walls and pulls up the foundations. It may take a while for any evidence of human habitation to disappear, but the amount of work you will now have to do to rebuild the original structure is all of it; there is nothing left to repair.

Messing is less discreet

This should be pre-empted by diluting it: messing, even messing 24/7, can be done discreetly and does not automatically mean everyone will know when you mess. If you're sufficiently prepared then they generally won't know. As usual, remember that even if they do know, 99% of the time they won't care enough to think about it, and it's even less likely that they'll care enough to bring it up to you and try to impose consequences on you as a result.

That having been said:

As someone who started dealing with uncontrolled messing roughly a year and a quarter in, messing marked the point in my untraining where I could no longer get by just making do with my pre-diapered approach, routine, wardrobe, etc. I had to significantly tighten up my hygiene routine and put more effort into finding facilities and methods that worked for me. More relevantly, messing marked the point where to stay discreet (or, at least, to do so to a degree that was comfortable for me) I had to comprehensively revamp my wardrobe and start actually changing what I was willing to wear; not necessarily by much, but changes had to be made.

For me, most of the times where I've had to proactively mention my incontinence or risk a crisis later have been post-messing untraining. Most of the times where someone has indicated to me that they knew I was in diapers without my telling them have been post-messing untraining. It could accurately be said that if you've held onto the casual-wear ideal of permanently, completely, perfectly concealing your diapers, messing will be the point where that has to end or be ended. Discretion and concealment are still a necessity, but expecting to be able to perfect the cover to the point that it's unbreakable is not a notion which is going to survive.

Messing will be less discreet early on

Much like wetting, toilet-trained messing takes the form of large, infrequent voids. Untrained messing is smaller, more frequent voids. Because the degree to which a messing accident can be kept discreet is, to put it indelicately, determined to some degree by the size of the mess, earlier accidents will be less discreet. If by chance the possibility of getting outed by a messing accident remains a front-of-mind worry for you well into untraining it, rest assured that it will get easier as you go.

Start voluntarily messing

With wetting, some people start from wearing underwear and voiding in the conventionally normal fashion in their toilet, and then immediately standing jump to wearing diapers full-time and untraining. Some of them even succeed.

This is fine. I would not recommend it with messing. You can abstractly comprehend what you're getting into, but if you don't have previous experience you're missing an essential part. If you're currently using the toilet at all, move away from that and start voiding your bowels exclusively in the form of messing your diapers.

Do this for a while without any expectation of losing bowel control. This will hopefully get your body into some healthier habits, but will certainly highlight any issues with your current way of doing things and will also place you under pressure to adapt to the new demands in terms of your hygiene routine, how you dispose of used diapers, etc. Once you're used to it, then start focusing on untraining.

Change your diet

This is way more important for messing than it is for wetting. With wetting, you can brute force your way through untraining okay with basically any diet as long as you're not trying to find the one weird trick that will force your body to have accidents, because there isn't one. I don't think you should brute force wetting untraining — it'll be less pleasant and make the process take longer — but if there's no other option, like if you're not willing to make some of the changes in question or you literally can't, slacking on the dietary changes is not necessarily going to stop process.

This is not the case with messing. Untraining a voiding function is attempting to make it automatic, and a requirement for something to be automatic is making it as low-effort as possible. As a result, you want to make it as easy as possible for yourself to mess, and the fastest, most sustainable, least intrusive way there is considerably softening your stool. The price of that is changing your diet to support it.

This is the part that held up this answer for so long. I tried to come up with informal dietary recommendations based on evaluating the ones that circulate around the community in this kind of situation and on my own knowledge as someone who's untrained messing. Unfortunately this turned into a byzantine multi-stage process and it's still not done.

Dietary recommendations, if I ever do complete them, will be in a separate post. Otherwise, most of the recommendations in The Twelve Month Diaper-Training Program are, if slightly outdated, still good, as is any general dietary advice related to avoiding constipation or to softening your stool. Failing that, I would recommend as absolutely foundational the following:

drink more water (up to local health authority recommendations)

eat more fibre (use Metamucil if you have to)

avoid bowel irritants (you won't learn how to automatically mess by just giving yourself diarrhoea)

avoid red meat (it makes your poop stink)

Upgrade your gear

If your current stock of diapers and various support items is calibrated around 24/7 wetting or, indeed, casual wear, and you charge straight into untraining messing without reassessing them and possibly upgrading them, you are going to have a miserable time. Here are some tips.

Reassess your diapers. Obviously you shouldn't still be in pull-ups at this point, but if you are, switch to diapers. The difference between pull-ups and diapers for messing is not as marked as the difference between heavy wetting and the level of wetting the average pull-up can handle, but correctly fitted adult pull-ups still generally don't have enough coverage or structural support to deal with a regime of 24/7 messing replacing the toilet.

Relative to what would have sufficed for full-time wetting or casual wear, you will need to slightly upgrade your absorbency because poop also contains water. Even if your current diapers are properly fitted, depending on the diaper you may have to pick one with more coverage (typically in the form of a higher back); movement of your body against the diaper will cause your mess to flatten, and it is preferable that it have to flatten the maximum possible amount in order to travel far enough to get out of the diaper.

You will also need improved structural support. For continent people, the average mess weighs up to twice as much as the average completed discharge of urine, and it's more concentrated in a single spot, presenting a larger problem for the diaper with relation to maintaining its fit and containment. If your current choice of diaper has any issues with sag over time, get a new one. I have generally found that, as disposable diapers go, diapers with plastic (polyethylene) backing retain their fit better under load (no pun intended). For the same reason, if you weren't invariably wearing onesies before, you should start now.

For the record, finding a diaper that wasn't incompatible with messing wasn't the issue. When I have had issues that made a diaper just flat-out incompatible with messing — e.g., "due to my body shape, the size of this diaper that is otherwise correct for me is too tight on the butt to safely mess" — those have been big brands, but I've always had other options. Most all-in-one-style incontinence briefs (i.e., actual "diaper" adult diapers) are designed with the expectation that someone would at least need to be experiencing faecal incontinence to feel it was warranted to wear them. Accordingly, most such diapers are usually safe to mess once as long as you change relatively quickly.

The main issue is that such diapers are to some extent designed around the expectation that they'll primarily be worn by older people with impaired cognition and mobility in an assisted living/long-term care context and changed by nursing staff or other relevant supportive providers on an at least nominally fairly frequent basis (I'm aware the "at least nominally" is load-bearing here). They're designed to be at least viable for a wide range of other uses but that is the use they're supposed to be optimal for. (Note that this does not imply most people who actually have this kind of incontinence meet these conditions, or, to put it more bluntly, does not imply incontinence actually is "an old people disease". Diaper manufacturers simply often design diapers as if it were, because that makes economic sense.)

Most people who want to untrain are going to have unimpaired cognition, probably unimpaired mobility, not be in supported living, and be changing themselves. This narrows the selection of available diapers in a few ways. One is that because you're mobile, your choice of diapers needs to maintain fit and containment when messy even when it's also subjected to the various structural stresses of full movement, such as changes in the position of the abdomen (breathing faster) and rapid shifts in the position of the legs (sitting down, climbing stairs, etc.). The capacity of a diaper to handle an accident is one thing but the capacity of a diaper to contain an accident even if you have to sit down in the diaper at some point is indispensable.

Another factor is that you're not spending your time in an assisted living environment but, most likely, working to maintain an adult life which is whatever was previously normal for you except plus diapers and minus continence. For the people for whom these diapers are designed, it may be possible to devise some kind of "fixed" changing schedule based on duration after which changing thought necessary vs number of available caring personnel. For the average untrainee, on the other hand, the demands of an adult life that includes a median level of employment and/or full-time caring can mean that the interval between when an accident happens and when you can change can unexpectedly vary from what you might expect.

This means your choice of diaper, as well as other things like your under-the-diaper skincare routine, need to account for possibly being in a messy diaper longer than you would want to be. If I'm completely blunt another factor for which you may also need to plan in "wiggle room" is unexpected variations in accident severity. Particularly during the untraining transition, but still intermittently afterward, I've had what I thought would be small accidents which have suddenly turned into very not small accidents.

In short, with diapers in particular, the issue is not so much finding a diaper with adequate capacity to handle a given volume of messing with a given time until changing will be possible. The issue is that life and thus messing vary more than the average diaper is optimally designed for, and they matter more when they do.

Strongly consider cloth diapers. For one thing, as previously mentioned, messing untraining probably means that, to put it delicately, you can start planning for the long term. For another thing, I know I was just going on about how PVC pants are less distressing to wash because they're non-absorbent. Cloth diapers don't have that, but most cloth diaper designs have more than enough coverage (if correctly fitted) and those which have fixed fasteners have adequately solid structural support.

If you are not wearing waterproof pants, I would start. Even if you're wearing disposable diapers, messing untraining is when unlined waterproof pants get a real chance to shine. They prevent smell circulating to some extent (although they are by no means a complete solution), but more importantly a properly fitted pant provides vital extra acreage outside your diaper's leg and waist bands in case of a press-out containment failure, and they're non-absorbent so the washing is a lot less distressing than it could be. Rinsing and sanitising a PVC pant kicks the fuck out of a sudden frantic five-alarm emergency about the fate of your best skirt. For similar reasons, I would recommend putting protection on your furniture; even if you have to throw away your sheets, at least you don't have to throw away your mattress.

If you don't keep disposable gloves on hand and/or use them, start. With the right preparation, leaks from messy diapers won't happen often, but they will happen at least a few times, mostly in situations and in ways that you wouldn't want them to. If you, like me, have the average person's amount of aversion to poop, simply having gloves on is going to make the things you have to do to deal with that not only a lot more hygienic but a lot less unpleasant overall.

If you don't have a changing pad, I would consider one. It's not strictly necessary, but it can be the case, regardless of how you use your diapers, that not having one means you have to change against the wall. When dealing with messy diapers, you really want to have access to as many different options for changing as you can get.

Consider an internal deodorant

You can't eliminate poop odour, but you can reduce it. You can take some external measures, like waterproof pants, but most measures have to be to do with your digestive system, and the main measure you have to take is changing what you eat. However, you can also improve odour concerns by taking a deodoriser such as bismuth subgallate or chlorophyllin.

Be more conscious of rash

Messing irritates the skin more aggressively than wetting does. A more rigorous skincare routine will save you a lot of hassle.

End note

As with everything, collect your own data and experiences before deciding on the extent to which you should follow these recommendations. I had to upgrade to a significantly higher-performance disposable diaper when messing started becoming a regular concern for me, which was rude given that I'd just had to upgrade to deal with bedwetting. Some don't have to do basically anything because they were already doing everything they needed to do. It's your call.

[infinityinakiss]

arcane incorrect quotes: bookstreet edition

vi: why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?

jayce: because your toast would get soggy!

//

jayce: so i got this amazing plan!

vi: we fail almost every time you say that.

jayce: well this is the same! but with a hamster involved.

//

jayce: it is 6:09 .

jayce: i am wondering why i'm still alive.

jayce: send wendy’s.

vi: the whole restaurant?!

//

jayce: oh, fiddlesticks.

vi: look, i understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

//

*while in battle*

vi, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: to the left!

jayce: take it back now y'all!

//

jayce: *trying to get five seconds of sleep*

vi, poking jayce’s arm: jayce jayce. jayce. jayce.

jayce: WHAT?

vi: …we’re out of capri suns—

//

jayce: that’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.

vi: ooh, can we get some actual pie?

jayce: I like the way you think.

//

vi: hah! 69! you know what that means?

viktor: what?

caitlyn: that you're a child.

jayce: HOW YOU GUESS MY IQ?!?

//

jayce: we wouldn’t last two minutes without vi.

jayce:

jayce: don’t tell them I said that.

//

vi: i found a note in one of my old word docs that said "note to self: get revenge on jayce."

vi: except i couldn't remember what i was supposed to get revenge for.

vi: but i trusted my own judgment, so i went with it.

jayce: hmm… i don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.

vi: i can only assume you got what was coming to you. not 100 percent sure, though.

jayce: well, whatever i did, i guess i deserved it.

vi: let that possibly be a lesson to you.

//

jayce: we have to plan, we have to figure something out.

vi: jayce, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? we plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

//

jayce: you played me!

vi: like the cheap kazoo you are!

//

vi: now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. you go first.

jayce: *sobbing*

vi: look, i'm not sure where to go with that.

//

jayce: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*

vi: *standing on the roof* bless you.

jayce: god?!

//

jayce: vi has only knocked me out three times this week. our friendship is really developing.

//

jayce: so… what’s goin’ on?

vi: you want the long version or the short version?

jayce, hesitantly: the short one, i guess?

vi: shit’s fucked.

jayce: oh. well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

//

jayce: petition to remove the 'd' from wednesday.

vi: wednesay.

jayce: not what i had in mind, but i'm flexible.

[smilingangel582]

Wind breaker, here I come! I couldn't watch the new episode yet due to some minor issues! Well... I wanna see more fics from others, but I'm too impatient 😤 so I'm writing one again!

Can't think of a better lee than Sakura, so... im gonna put a switch, Nirei and Sugishita! Totally ler Suo and Umemiya!

The other characters aren't gonna be part of the fic because... I never read the manga but ik bits of spoilers from it... soooo imma skip them till the anime introduces them... yeeet imma add some of the teeny tiny bits I was spoiled from the manga!

My spelling sucks ik and I'm a faster writer, so... I tend to make a lot of misspelling stuff as I type fast. (It's not ADHD or anything special... I'm just a hyper person in real life... hehe)

ENJOY!

Warning spoilers from the anime and perhaps manga "my imagination after episode 8"

The big man himself

Sakura Haruka, an outsider, but everyone in this town accepted him as family as quickly as Sakira pummeled five dudes in an instant whiff.

What the hell is this town...?

His thoughts are often reserved and well kept to himself. Even as he walked through the hallways, he noticed familiar faces greeting him as grade captain and respectful gestures. Sure Sakura can take in most and yet...

"Omg! He's the first year grade captain who beat shishitoren second in command!"

"His look is so cool!"

A small blush crept up to his cheeks, he just grunted in response, leaving them mid-praise towards him.

It's almost like an attack mechanism to Sakura, like compliments are his weakness, and the opponent strikes it mercilessly till he's crumbled.

Honestly, Sakura hates that about himself.

"Sakura-san! We need your help!"

Hearing Nirei's voice in front, he looked up, his bangs lifting at the sight of Suo and Nirei...

And Sugishita???

"What the hell do u want?" Sakura grumbled.

Suo's calmly allows to explain themselves, "Now Sakura-kun, us first years have a job to do... its specifically by Hiragi-san"

Straightening himself, Sakura nods seriously, "OK... sure"

Suo stares for a moment before chuckling into his hand, this made Sakura frown, "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing... I just thought how cute it is that you actually listen to your senpais..."

Sakura got flustered and began to sputter angrily, "Q-Quiet! I don't respect... well, uh, I m-mean... ugh, never mind. What the heck do we need to do anyway?"

Suo noticed in amusement how Sakura faltered in defeat, then he replied, "Oh nothing... Sugishita-kun and Hiragi-san over-watered one of Umemiya-san's precious tomato plants..."

Sakura blinked.

Eh?

"And... whats the issue?"

Sugishita snapped, grabbing Sakura by the shirt, "It's a big problem dumbass!"

Sakura gritted his teeth in fury, "Who you calling dumbass?! Dumbass!"

Sup calmly separated them and began to run over what they should do, "So... the big issue is... they are a special gift from his -I quote 'Kotoha-chan'"

Now that made sense. Sakura pinched the bridge of his nose... no wonder they dragged him to the roof when Umemiya isn't around.

"Now what should we do?" Sakura asked folding his arms.

"We have to distract Umemiya-san, and make him forget about that plant" Nirei said, sweating buckets throughout their whole conversation. Sakura stumbled in surprise. He really forgot Nirei was actually there...

(Ps. I did, actually... teehee ^w^)

"Oh..." Sakura said blankly, putting two and two together. He turned now, "So good luck... its not my problem anyway"

"Waiiit!" Nirei clung yo his jacket, "You are out grade captain! Dont abandon us pls!!"

"Sakura-kun, we told u the story so... basically you are involved" suo shrugged nonchalantly, Sugishita glared daggers as if he's blackmailing Sakura, "You better help..."

"I could care less!"

Before anyone could pass out any words through their conversation. Sakura heard the door on the rooftop open, Umemiya came.

Oh shit.

"Ah! My cute little underclassmen!" Umemiya rushed towards the group with joy and then without warning ruffling everyone's hairs.

He specifically embaraced Sakura, showing he's a favourite.

"Ahhh! Sakuraaa" a childish cry of bliss came from the leader's lips, as he almost squashed the first year.

Sugishita glared and growled like a rottweiler, Suo claimed he's a jealous puppy further angering him.

"Well, well! What brings you lot to my humble paradise!"

Sakura squirmed out of his grip, grumbling, "Trying to protect that stupid plant of -hmph!"

He forgot... he forgot... Sakura luckily closed his own mouth before digging his own grave... and yet... Umemiya looks like he already got a shovel close to him.

"Hmm..." Umemiya smirked, now flicking his forehead, "Sakura.... When you lie, I can tell that your ear turns red"

He got flustered "I-i do not! I'm not lying!"

Sakura noticed Nirei seemed anxious, Suo with a calm and an unapologetic smile and Sugishita totally ignoring him. They all abandoned him... he was bait after all...

"Oh no~ Sakura-kun," Umemiya sang playfully, suddenly stepping forward with incredible speed, "You shouldn't shift your attention to something irrelevant when your opponent is right in front of you"

Sakura gasped when he felt Umemiya grab his waist instantly. Without realising he was pinned to the wall, he slid down when those fingers made a funny sensation over his sides...

Wait... is this... tickling?

Resist! Resist! Resist damn it! Come on, Haruka! U have to!

Sakura felt his own thoughts fighting the urge to laugh as mad fingers scurried up his ribcage instantly. He struggled and kicked in reflex, surprisingly arching is back like a flexible sprig when Umemiya skillfully tickled his lower ribs.

"G-gah!" A squawk left him. While Suo and the rest awkwardly saw what was happening, the eye patch guy had to comment, "Oh wow... Sakura-kun are you ticklish?"

Umemiya grinned at that, "Oh, he is... how cute, little bro... but be careful. Your big bro is a biiiig tickle monster!"

Sakura suddenly jolted when Umemiya traced his waist beneath the shirt. The tingling sensation on his bare skin was insane. Its perhaps because Sakura never felt tickling before that he actually felt it like something so strong and unbearable.

How embarassing... he's giggling like a four year old.

"Shihihihihit! Hahahaha, whyhehehe whhhyy hahaha??!" Sakura squirmed, now twisting on his stomach, trying to escape.

Why is this man even tickling him?

"Why?" Umemiya grabbed his sides, pulling him closer to him, "Because you are obviously hiding something from me... aaaand... your are too cute!"

"Dahahahahamn ihihiiiiHIHIHIT! NOHO!" Sakura's laughter kicked an octave when Umemiya traced his armpits - not even tickle - just gentle featherlight tickling he never expected to tickle so much!

But...it feels good... it's the first time someone ever touched him so playfully...

Not cruel jabs that sting like poker sticks or burning hits from harsh punches... just mild subtle ticklish jolts like electric shocks.

"Suo, Nirei, can you grab him for a moment?"

Hearing this, Sakura snapped into reality. Huh? Why? Why are they restraining him?

Suo grabbed his wrists up above his head, the warm concrete floor beneath him, giving his wishes before his doomsday, Nireo sitting on his shins... and Umemiya on the side with a wide grin.

"I would've resorted to other easier methods, but I guess you like being tickeld. Eh Sakura?"

Blush, Sakura yelped, "N-no! Obviously not! Ugh, y-you bastard... and -" Sakura turned to the other three."Are you guys ditching me????"

Suo gives a gentle grin, "Sorry, but you are strong enough to handle this unlike us, plus..." Suo gives a teasing scribble under Sakura's armpit, making the latter jolt in surprise, "Umemiya-san said you like it"

Sakura exploded, "I NEVER SAID THAT -AAAH!"

Umemiya launched his tickles instantly before Sakura could express anything. Sakuta couldn't even focus his priorities as multiple spots are being targeted.

"Saakuraaa~, what's the juicy secret you're keeping from me?"

Gosh... the others guys are supposed to be on his side! Did they all deviate from the plot just to mess with Sakura? Unbelievable!

Sakura panicked with a squeak when Umemiya kept lingering around his stomach. He felt a plunging sensation in his gut as Umemiya poked his naval.

"D-Doho nohohot pohohohoke thahahat!" Sakura shrieked, now bucking himself tryinf to shake them off but they all remained resilient.

"Wow, Sakura-san, you really are sensitive" Nirei unconsciously squeezed his kneecaps making it worst despite his feigned innocence.

Sugishita watched with an unreadable expression his face was so judgemental, and Sakura hoped it didn't mean 'cute' to the taller guy.

Suo leaned towards Umemiya now, not even bothering to lower his voice through Sakura's booming laughter, "His armpits seem pretty sensitive too, boss"

It's bad... though Sakura has never been tickled before, his alert senses are tingling mad. Its bad...!

"Oh...?" Umemiya slowly crawled his fingers up the boney ribs and finally into the light muscular armpits, "Here? Is Sakura sensitive under there?"

Squeal. To say Sakura let out such an embarrassing sound was not a lie. He wanted to crawl it yo a rock and die right now for making such an absurd noise like a squeal.

"EEEEEH! NOOO! IHIHIHI GIVE I GIVE HAHAHA SLOHOHOHOW DOHOHOWN!"

"Ehh? Already? Wow, that didn't take long?" Suo teased, and Umemiya winked back, stopping gradually as he persisted, "Tell me, kid~"

"Ahahahahaha ohoohohohok ohohohok! Ihihihits yohohour duhuhuhuhumb plahahahant thehehe ohohone Kohohohotahaha gahahave yahahaha!"

Sakura confessed... all it took was a tickle to his armpits to spill the milk.

Umemiya stopped instantly. Uh oh... all of that may be fun and games but Nirei realised that they were suppose to keep him distracted not make Sakira confess...

Umemiya sigh, scratching the back of his head, "Well I wanted to make Sakura confess about liking to be tickled... I almost forgot why I started this..." he smiled now ruffling Sakura's messed up hair and his still blushing face flowing more red.

"Well im glad you kept your comradeship safe sweet brother" Umemiya grinned.

Sakura blushed to the tips of his ears, huffing, "Not like I did anythjnf but be a victim..."

It was all OK...

"So... what's this about my plant?"

Or... It wasn't

"Did I hear you say it was Kotoha's plant?" Umemiya's smile darkened, sweet to bitter ...its bad now.

Sakura gulped but suo being the rescuer instantly grabbed everyone and scurried away before the leader of Borfurin could catch up.

Sakura couldn't say he hated his day but he really wondered what happened to the tomato plant Hiragi said he was gonna replace...

No one will know the depths Hajime Umemiya would go to cherish what Kotoha gave him.

Sakura shivered... a bigger tickle monster is lurking inside the leader.

The end was rushed, ik! Ik! It came too cute, too, so the plot was messy! Sorryyyyy my badddd also don't blame me! It's so late, and I'm hyper from caffeine! Byeee

[thelovetheystole]

Thought I would list some of the things (clues) the show has revealed about John so far, as he is supposed to have plenty of secrets...

Quotes are not verbatim.

• He was born in 1988, making him two years younger than Robert and Andy and six years older than Victoria. (The actor however was born in 1982.)

• He likes the saying 'Never forgive, never forget' as revealed in his very first episode

• 'Barbara and I go way back' (quote from Eric about John's mum with a bit of innuendo?)

• He grew up locally, and is a capable farmhand

• He always assumed he had siblings 'out there', but just didn't care (again, he grew up locally and was right between Robert/Andy and Vic in age, his mum used to be a teacher in Hotten)

• He did mention that he thinks he might have heard of Robert, specifically

• He claims to not be interested in the Sugden family, and was seemingly especially un-interested in Sarah, as her dad was adopted, even though he did say sorry to her later

• But he did look intently (when Vic wasn't there) at the Sugden family photo, which had Jack, Sarah and all three kids in it

• He had a stepdad growing up, who apparently did care about him, so no reason to 'feel sorry for him'

• Barbara Ann's (his mum) married name looks like it started with a C or a G, like Conne(o)r, Chase, Cro(a)ft, Grant or Gray?

• He said his mum wrote Jack a letter about him once when he was young, but Jack never replied

• Called Robert some random/stranger 'that I happen to share dna with'

• Kept army tags that say 'Aidan Moore' in a box he doesn't want people to see

• 'I know more than you think' (to Aaron when he denied John knowing anything about him or something to that effect)

• Wears a St. Christopher necklace

• According to an interview with Oliver, John has spent 12 years in the army, It's unclear which 12 years

• Having been in the village for six month, he has asked zero questions about anything Sugden related

• He was a medic in the army

• He was the last person to see Nate before he supposedly left the village

• He looked like he might have had something in his van after the fire that he didn't want anyone to see

• Refused to be checked at the hospital, even though he was coughing his lungs up after the fire

• Has two medals, which appear to be the Operational Service Medal For Afghanistan and the Elizabeth II Platinum Jubilee Medal (2022), but there is apparently supposed to be a third one in this set?

• Aidan Moore was not only his best friend, as he lied to Victoria, but a man he loved and was secretly involved with. John apparently couldn't save him in Afghanistan...

• In an interview Mike P (Ross) did around the time they filmed the aftermath of Christmas, he said John has a 'sinister military background', whatever that means...

• He's not the brightest, as he apparently failed to realize that Aaron and the man he married twice shared a deep connection and, you know, a life 🤷‍♀️

• Seemed very hateful about Robert, saying he had only himself to blame for 'losing his temper' and now can't be in Vic or Aaron's life - but John can

• Was however happy to 'hold Aaron's jacket' if he felt like beating up Tom King

• He very much did not like being called an 'informant' by the PC, even though he did call the police and tell them about the illegal fight in Moira's barn

• He likes telling other people to be honest and thruthful, but has yet to tell Aaron he was the one who called the police that day

• Said four walls and a roof are like a 'prison' to him, and said about Aidan in Afghanistan; 'he only wanted to serve his time'

• He always goes camping in December on Aidan's birthday

• Seemed rather desperate for Aaron to say 'I love you' in the woods after making a show of throwing his dead ex's army tags in the woods... (Army tags that in reality would go to next of kin I believe?)

• Knows how to clean up a murder scene and dispose of a body, and claims that's what love looks like...

[brodygold]

Golden Army: Dragon Heist Part 2

Part 1 here

The Golden Army headed through the city of Waterdeep, looking for Floon, who had been missing since last night. Brody knew time was of the essence for finding missing people. The more time that passed, the fewer clues they could find. Volo (and his monetary reward) was counting on them. He fiddled with his lute as the mid afternoon sun beat down on them.

"Alright bros. Let's split up to cover more ground. Me, Ross, and Daniel will check out The Skewered Dragon and see if anyone saw him leave. Scott, Henry, and Grayden, I want you bros to check the surrounding area for any clues. Any questions?"

"Just one, Brody. Did Volo give you a description of Floon to work with?" Grayden asked, "That seems like something important."

"He sure did, Grayden. Floon is a well dressed man of average height with long red hair. He was wearing a quote 'very ugly pearl necklace with a seashell on it' end quote."

"That's not a lot to go off of, bro" Henry added.

"I know, bro. But we want that reward money so we gotta find the guy. Now let's go! Meet back here in an hour."

And so the party split off, ready to find the missing man.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you sure there's going to be clues here?"

"Of course, bro! There's gonna be clues all over- OH WHAT IS THAT!?" Scott ran over to a nearby store window, putting his head against the glass.

"Scott, now is not the time for window shopping innit. We gotta look for Floon." Henry sighed.

"But look at that big plushie! I want it!"

Grayden sighed and looked down as his two teammates got into yet another argument about wants versus needs. That's when he spotted something glistening on the sidewalk: A rather ugly pearl necklace with a pink seashell attached.

"Interesting..."

Grayden looked back up, an idea forming in his head. "Hey Scott, do you want to take a look around inside?"

"Oh don't tell me you're taking his side in this bro."

"Not at all. I just want to speak to the owner for a second."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Skewered Dragon had definitely seen better days. The front facing windows were completely smashed in and a ship's anchor was lodged in the roof. It was definitely the seedy part of town, that much Brody was sure of.

"Why would a well-off man come drinking someplace like this?" He wondered.

The inside of the tavern didn't look much better. The decor was very much nautical, and the dockworker patrons only added to the setting. Brody and Ross walked up to the bartender while Daniel approached the various patrons to see if anyone else was there last night.

"Hey there bro. We're looking for a man named Floon Blaagmar. Well dressed, long red hair, ugly necklace around his neck. Sound familiar?"

"Can't say me memory's too good right now, especially not for strangers. Maybe some coin would loosen me tongue." The bartender smirked.

Ross pulled out one of his many knives and stuck it in the counter. "Maybe some blood would loosen it too. Wanna find out, mate?"

The bartender visibly gulped. "Fine. Worth a shot anyhow. Guy's a regular here. He drank with two men that night, one after the other. He and the second man left around midnight after some drinks and a round of Three Dragon Ante."

One of the patrons Daniel was talking with interrupted. "Are youse talking about Renaer Neverember? Stuck up noble who loves to rub our faces in it."

"You mean the son of former Open Lord Dagult Neverember? I thought he'd have been in Neverwinter with his father." Daniel howled.

"Well I guess he wanted to stick around," another patron added, "not like it did 'em any good. A group of men followed the two of them out last night. Dunno what happened next but can't have been good. One had a tattoo of a snake on his neck."

A snake tattoo? That could only mean one thing.

"The Zhentarim are involved." Brody whispered.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the hour passed, the two groups met back up to discuss what they'd found.

"A group of Zhents followed Floon and his drinking partner out of the tavern. They came in this direction." Brody said as the others approached. He noticed Scott holding a plushie in his hands and cried for their finances.

"They were attacked outside of the Old Xoblob Shop. The owner saw five men attack the two, one of whom had a snake tattoo on his neck. We also found Floon's necklace." Grayden added.

"Wow that is ugly." Daniel commented.

"Apparently the Zhents have a warehouse they use on Candle Lane. Might get some clues if we look there." Brody wondered just what they would find at the warehouse of a rival mercenary group. One with much more influence but a much worse reputation.

"So what are we waiting for? Let's go find our guys!" Ross exclaimed, holding his dagger in the air for emphasis.

"Technically we're only looking for Floon."

"I'll bet rescuing a noble will bring us a lot of cash though, bros!" Scott said in excitement, the plushie shaking as he spoke animatedly.

"You got it, bro. To Candle Lane!"

Candle Lane wasn't very far away, and the group arrived at the warehouse in a matter of minutes, a snake imprinted on the door telling the Golden Army they had the right place. Of course, the door was locked.

"I've got this bros. One second." Ross pulled out his trusty tools and got to work, unlocking the door with a few flicks of the wrist.

"Alright bros. We're going to be doing this quietly," Brody whispered, "We sneak in, look for clues, and get out before anyone notices us. Understood?"

"Yes Cap." The others spoke in unison.

"Good. I'll go first." Brody opened the door to the warehouse slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible. Inside he spotted a group of four raven-esque creatures, huddled together in the center of the room. All was quiet until the sound of the floor creaking alerted everyone in the room to their presence.

"Oops." Brody whispered.

"INTRUDERS!"

To be continued...

Want to join the Golden Army for real? Contact me, @goldenherc9 or @polo-drone-001

[talesfromawannabewriter]

Cradle and All

@kittenfangirl20

Beetlejuice heaved a long, slow sigh as he stared out into the night sky. He was up on the roof sitting by the edge. Trying his best to calm the nerves and voices screaming at him in his mind.

He thought that coming to the roof would help with that, like it usually did. This time wasn’t like those past moments though. Because this time was different.

This time it felt as if he was fucking everything up. More so than usual.

Moments like this happens when he fucks up and he thinks he’s done for. Because he doesn’t think there is anything he can do to reverse it.

But now?

Now he’s in a situation where there is a problem and he has a solution, but he doesn’t know if he wants to. And that has got to be the most frustrating feeling in the entire world.

One might wonder what it is exactly that he is fretting about. From the sounds of it, it seems like that mankind has an enormous disease and he has a cure for it but won’t share it.

Well, it was sort of like that. His boyfriend and girlfriend want to have a baby but they can’t get pregnant.

With each other that is.

His bakery had opened a long, long time ago and was ready to start making some bread. It just needed the right batter. In this special case it was Adam’s batter that could make a baby.

But, the problem was that he wasn’t exactly certain about if he wanted to.

It wasn’t as if he never wanted kids…he just didn’t think he’d make the greatest parent. After all he didn’t have the best role models to look up to.

Even with Adam and Barbara there he would still end up fucking the kid up. By the time they’re thirteen they would probably be a drug addict and think of ways to kill him in his sleep.

That was what he was like when he was at that age. So angry and full of angst, just wanting someone to tell him he matters.

He was lucky to find that with people now but would the Maitland still want him if they knew he was holding out on them?

After all, “A relationship is a commitment, where everyone involved puts in the effort” Which was a direct quote from the Mrs. Herself.

He sighed again and leaned into his arms as they hugged his knees to his chest. What the actual Hell was he supposed to do?

Adam: BJ?

BJ internally: Aw crap.

He refused to look at the former breather as he heard him take a seat right beside him.

Adam: Glad I finally found you, me and Barb have been looking for you for about an hour.

Beetlejuice didn’t respond and simply stayed in his slumped position.

Adam: Hun…are you alright?

@kittenfangirl20

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 43 – ENEMIES TO LOVERS

(First Impressions Are) A Work in Progress by ras_elased

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 15,195 Tags: Metaphorical Pigtail-Pulling, Getting Together, Wholesome Steve

Summary: Tony has a point system for the times he can get Steve to be less than perfect.

Reasons why I love it: To me, this fic is one of the corner stones of the Stony fandom. It's one of the first fics that got me into this pairing, so it holds a very special place in my heart. I can quote parts of it from memory, it's that good. So if you haven't read it yet, do yourself a favor and get right on it. I promise you'll love it just as much as I do.

Citation Needed by elwenyere, FestiveFerret

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 30,570 Tags: College AU, Professors Steve and Tony, History Mystery

Summary: Historian Tony Stark has one year to get his book about WWII weapons technology under contract before he goes up for Full Professor at Stanley College. There's only one chapter left to finish, which is supposed to explain Peggy Carter's involvement with something called "Project Rebirth," but there are two problems: his trail of evidence goes cold every time he encounters references to an enigmatic soldier named Steven Rogers, and his stress levels shoot through the roof every time he runs into the endlessly frustrating new hire in Fine Arts, Dr. Grant.

Reasons why I love it: I was following along as this story was posted, and each new update was the highlight of week, every time. The plot is so intricate and well thought out that it feels almost like a murder mystery, and I absolutely adore the ending. This fic is incredible, and you should definitely read it, if you haven't already!

the girl with the modern face by isozyme

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 26,881 Tags: Crossdressing, Internalized Homophobia, Lingerie

Summary: “Nice to meet you.  I’m Steve Rogers,” Steve said, sticking his hand out and trying to wrestle the interaction back into something normal. “I know, sweetheart,” Tony said, ignoring his hand.  “Rescue told me all about you.” “Did you make her?” Steve asked.  It had been implied that Tony was a tech-man, and she said he was her boss.  It would fit together. “Yes, the armor, that was me; she’s my bodyguard,” Tony said archly.  “Impressed?” The only good thing about the future is Tony Stark's bodyguard, Rescue. She's beautiful in her red and gold armor, and Steve will never know who she is.

Reasons why I love it: As always, isozyme's grasp on the prejudices Steve might have due to his background is impeccable. Also, Tony crossdressing as Rescue is such a kickass concept that I wish I'd thought of it myself. The characterizations and dialogues are perfect all the way through, and I especially love the character development in Steve. This fic is one of my favorites, so I really hope you give it a shot!

[crystallinecardinal]

Not sure if people have said this before (it’s probably common knowledge at this point and I’m just slow) but I JUST REALIZED.

AeroArtwork, at 07:40:12 in the Prismathon stream of UTY: “Uh, there’s still a little, uhm, secret here that I haven’t seen anybody— uh— figure out yet. Uhm— This monitor right here, uh, the image on there actually has a bit of a— a secret on it. It’s not a huge secret or anything, but a couple of things of connections I haven’t seen people put together on it yet.”

And then, after being asked if it’s a reference to the Microsoft hill background, just with a cave ceiling: “It’s not that it’s just a cave roof, uh, keep in mind considering how long the Steamworks has been going on for, and how old the place is. Wonder what that background’s based off of.”

For context, this is the monitor this whole thing is based on:

I have been way too into timelining UTY for a little while now, and realized— This is the Meadow.

It lines up timeline-wise, as according to Ceroba’s dialogue about Chujin and his garden, The Meadow became the Dunes as Chujin’s health deteriorated. Which means, the Meadow HAD to still be around when Chujin was working for the Steamworks, as that was before his health started to deteriorate.

Anyway. Tldr I just realized this and had to yap

EDIT: after seeing some of the reblogs on this post, please disregard the above bit about Chujin’s health! It’s probably Ceroba making a comparison due to her “it’s similar” comment directly after. I missed this when making my post originally.

THAT BEING SAID, this background of the Meadow on the monitor (which was also confirmed, see reblogs for the clip) can still line up timeline-wise! It just comes from a different quote, talking about how the apple trees outside the Steamworks are blooming, said by one of the robots.

Thanks to @violet111reblog and @guns-blazing for their reblogs, PLEASE READ THEM IF YOU WANT MORE INFO!! They attached the quotes and went into it with a lot more depth. I’m still trying to remember all my lore after not being as involved with UTY for a bit. :)

[silly-lovestruck-em]

MORE INCORRECT QUOTES!

Rex: You almost killed the commander-

Anri: That’s a pretty strong accusation. He would’ve died from natural causes.

Rex: You were close to pushing him off the roof-

Anri: Gravity is a natural occurrence on this planet last I checked. Your point?

Warren: Hey, cupcake- you got another bag I can use for today’s pickup? This one’s falling apart at the seams..

Cupcake, after pulling an all nighter: Another bag? The only other bags I have are the ones under my eyes. And they’re designed to carry the burden of my existence since I still can’t seem to figure out WHAT IM MISSING FROM THIS EQUATION!

Warren: …

Warren: Literally all you had to do was say no…

Castin: Okay, is everyone clear on the plan?

Anri: Whatever floats your Titanic.

Castin: … Isn’t that the ship that sank all those years ago?

Anri: Yes. Just like your IQ after you came up with that stupid idea.

Renae: One of these days, your smart mouth is going to get you stabbed.

Tigress: You say that as if I haven’t been stabbed before.

Wajid: Hey, I need to bother you a second-

VP: Bold of you to assume you aren’t already. Go ahead.

Cupcake: I’m too good for revenge..

Warren: Yeah, well- I’m not. Now hand me the damn sword.

Renae: I’ve always hated these balls. Almost every eligible lady in here is undressing me with their eyes..

Tigress: Yeah and I’m buttoning you back up with mine.

Queen: If you want me, come and get me.

Rhett: Really? Want you in which way exactly? Don’t get me wrong, both involve chains, but it’s an important distinction before we go on.

Renae: Did you just insult me-

Tigress: I wasn’t insulting you, I was describing you- there’s a big difference.

Cupcake, after they just escaped enforcers: Now what?

Warren: I dunno… I didn’t think I’d live this long.

Renae: You’re insane! Absolutely mad!

Tigress: I prefer the term creative.

[wheelsgoroundincircles]

Oldsmobile’s Experimental ’66 Toronado Station Wagon

What if Oldsmobile produced a Toronado station wagon? General Motors was intrigued enough by the idea to build a prototype or two.

It’s only natural that General Motors and its Oldsmobile division would seek out additional applications for the advanced front-wheel drive unit designed for the 1966 Toronado. Known internally at GM as the Unitized Power Package or UPP, the powertrain module was a tidy, versatile package, and surely a bundle had been invested in its development. The next application following the Toronado, of course, was the 1967 Cadillac Eldorado. And since one great benefit of the UPP front-drive system was that it allowed a low, flat floor, another use that easily came to mind was a station wagon.

By March of 1966, the GM design had a full-sized studio model ready for display at the Tech Center’s styling court (above). As we can see, this was essentially a European-style shooting brake adaptation of the production Toronado coupe. Sporty, yes, but the two-door wagon didn’t offer much more in the way of useful interior volume over the standard Toronado.

Taking a more practical approach, GM built a full-sized, four-door wagon prototype using the Toronado drive unit and front-end sheet metal. But at the time, Oldsmobile didn’t offer a full-size wagon—its largest wagon was the Vista Cruiser, based on a stretched  A-body intermediate platform. So a Pontiac full-sized wagon body shell, from the firewall back, was merged with the Toronado front clip. As the photos show, the Olds/Pontiac mashup was more of a basic proof-of-concept rather than a finished prototype. The tail lamps fit oddly and the front and rear wheel openings don’t match at all.

Leading automotive historian Michael Lamm, writing in the late, great magazine Special Interest Autos (July-Aug 1978) reported that in fact, several of these experimental front-drive wagons were constructed. Mr. Lamm also noted that GM styling vice president Bill Mitchell raved about the flat, unobtructed floors, and he included this awesome Mitchell quote: “With the tailgate down, you could run a motorscooter into it.”  But as we now know, the front-drive, Toronado-derived station wagon was never sent into production—though the UPP was later used to power the 1973-78 GMC Motor Home.

There was another Toronado station wagon, not that Oldsmobile had any direct involvement. In 1968-70, American Quality Coach of Blytheville, Arkansas produced the AQC Jetway 707 airport limousine. A Toronado with its wheelbase extended five and a half feet, it sported tandem rear axles, five doors per side, and a Vista Cruiser-ish station wagon roof. Somewhere between 52 and 150 of these behemoths were reportedly built, various sources say, and a number of them are still around.

1968-70, American Quality Coach