#ronon is a little shit

[sga-owns-my-soul]

John's in the door and shoots the two guards in a blink of an eye. His first thought is that this is the wrong room, that this poor bastard isn't Rodney, and he almost leaves to keep looking when he see the SGA and Canadian Flag patches, and his heart clenches.

[parhelios]

part two of the stargate atlantis animorphs au where john sheppard used to be tobias! this will hopefully get turned into a full fic at some point but i like telling ppl about my fic ideas its fun

an important part of this au is that at least once on atlantis people have started reminiscing about favorite foods on earth they miss and when john was asked what he missed the most, he just blinks and says "burgers" and everyone gives him shit about his basic ass answer but little do they know the real answer is fresh mouse

part one here

he never really realized just how much he missed truly flying on his own wings until he did it for the first time in too many years, circling over the spires of atlantis and relishing the feeling of thermals under his spread wings. he can’t help but chuckle as on the way to rodney’s lab later in the day, he spots some of the biologists in their lab losing their minds. he does make a note to be a little less conspicuous though. john makes another note to let chaya know that if she ever needs anything, he’s her man, for the rest of time. he’s never been more grateful for anything.

(meanwhile, rodney and less so elizabeth, have been tinhatting about john since kolya's invasion of atlantis. john was weird enough they decided they needed to investigate him more and found that large swaths of his childhood and teen years are redacted to hell and back. they can't even figure out when he was born, exactly. it's WEIRD, and the fact that not even weir has clearance makes it all the more disturbing. rodney tries his best to find an unredacted version--surely it must be somewhere in the files sent on the atlantis expedition, in case of emergency--but not even that works. the thing is, by this point, john is their friend, and though they are definitely concerned and more than a little weirded out, they trust him. they trust that if it becomes necessary, he'll trust them too.)

missions go for the most part as normal, but whenever john can get the free time, he spends it flying. eventually, ar-1 gets sent out on a recon mission to a new gate location, a supposedly uninhabited planet which they believe might serve as a potential alpha site for atlantis in case of wraith incursion

as they begin their expedition, the group moves through the brush, ears and eyes sharp for any darts or wraith patrols. they walk for some time, having chosen to head in the direction of what looks to be a plume of smoke in the sky--perhaps a sign of civilization? certainly an anomaly worth checking out. when they reach the source of it, all four come to the same conclusion. a ship has crashed here. small fires still burn in the trees and brush at the edge of the clearing from its crash landing, but for the most part it looks only superficially damaged. however, not one of them save john recognize the design, and john keeps his mouth shut.

it is an andalite blade ship, and john wonders wildly about what it could be doing so far from home as he leads rodney, teyla, and ronon towards the entrance. he's able to keep his reaction to himself pretty easily, years of having to think about his face and his words coming in very handy for deception. rodney and the rest recognize it as being like nothing they've ever seen before--an egg-like pod with a tail curving above it, ending in a sharp point facing the front of the ship, two small, stubby wings curving off of the side. rodney starts to lose it with excitement at another spacefaring race which they have not encountered before, and john has to keep his mouth shut. after the war with the yeerks, the andalites and the humans had come up with a plan to deal with the yeerks, which none of the animorphs had been privvy to, except that once they were dealt with, the andalites would return to their part of the galaxy under seerow's kindness (their prime directive) and not contact the humans again. they took ax, the one andalite who had joined the animorphs and fought alongside them for the whole war, and they took the morphing cube, and they'd said that earth could keep the animorphs and any remaining technology left behind by the andalites or yeerks on earth. what they were doing here, he had no answers for, and he knew that rodney would be inevitably disappointed when he learned that they were all major assholes who wanted nothing to do with earth and had avoided aiding them until the eleventh hour.

when they get inside, john notes no signs of the pilot, and tunes out rodney's excitement at the pilot's chair clearly designed for a quadraped, and heads straight for the console, to try and find out all he can while the team is distracted examining the ship itself. his knowledge of andalite is ingrained, still sitting in the back of his mind from when elfangor gave him his knowledge. from what he can tell, this was an experimental blade ship designed for long-range travel through z-space, featuring a prototype andalite hyperdrive, which apparently worked a little too well. after poking around some, the team determines they should get as much data as they can for themselves from the ship and head back to the gate to pass the info on to weir and return with a bigger science team to study the ship itself. john makes a private note to hold a briefing. this requires a bit of an update in clearance for everyone involved.

of course, the best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley, and as they leave the ship they are promptly ambushed and captured by a wraith patrol.

while the rest are thrown in a cell, john is taken to the wraith queen, who interrogates him on the crashed ship and though he protests ignorance, she decides to drain him until he breaks. she seems to believe it is some new trick by the atlanteans, but john catches something she likely did not mean to slip to him. she references a prisoner, and from what little she reveals, it sounds like the andalite pilot. john refuses to give up any information to her, and so the queen decides, drained as he is, that he is best used as an example for the rest of his friends, to... encourage them to cooperate. she drains him practically to the point of death, and has him dragged back to the cell, throwing him to the dirty floor at the feet of his friends.

he can feel himself dying, as he lays in the cell, every bone screaming as his team surrounds him, and he feels tears dripping onto his face, which he knows without looking is withered and aged from the feeding. and john knows in that moment that there is one way that this will go, unless he changes. he mumbles out an apology, tells them not to worry about him, and not to freak out. and then he begins the change.

for those unaware, morphing is a process which tends to be extremely unpleasant to watch, unless the morpher is an estreen who can control the process of the morph. john is very much not an estreen, despite his deep familiarity with being a hawk, and he knows exactly what this looks like as the shift megins and he takes in the horror on the faces of rodney, teyla, and ronon. he’d seen people shift birds, and the first time he'd done it, he'd watched himself in a mirror, out of pure curiosity.

the eyes went first, turning big and yellow. you could hear the crunch and grind of bones as they shrunk and molded into each other, the mass folding into z-space and condensing as his fingers merged and feet split, limbs and body shrinking into itself. feathers began to burst from the skin, starting as strange mottled patterns on the skin before lifting themselves up. the corners of his mouth stretched up as the bones of his face shifted and the skin receded over his elongating beak, leaving yellow keratin behind.

the morph felt the same as always, but alongside the grinding of bones and the odd crushing feeling that always came with a smaller morph, john could feel the strength returning to his body the closer he got to hawk-shape. as the morph finishes, he reaches out with thought-speak to the others, trying to get them to stop freaking out as he wriggles free of his shirt and vest, ruffling his wings.

rodney immediately goes "I FUCKING KNEW IT-okay not the bird thing i did not see that one coming but SOMETHING was going on--" but john's thought-speak very quickly shuts him up, and he takes the initiative of rodney's dropped jaw to come up with a quick plan and hop out of the cell through one of the holes in the wraith netting. the wraith probably think he’s dead already, and john is happy to keep it that way—he’s got an escape to make.

[itsdawnforyou]

Catching up on atlantis episodes ive missed, Sateda time:

rodney getting shot in the ass is funny as fuck

ronon's backstory is worse then I thought

Rodney wears smiley-face boxers and thats fucking adorable I love him sm

FUCK HIS BACKSTORY IS REALLY BAD OH SHIT

Hell yeah killing wraith is always fun

Yeah no rodney is kinda right maybe you should skedaddle

"And what are you, rambo now?" Hehe I like this little back and forth between these two

"Someone has to stay with the jumper" "thats it, we got it all" oh.

"I got 6 teyla got-" "eight" "i got 9 teyla got 8 ronon got the rest" nice john.

Oh damn. Ronon is telegraphing his hits big time which I mean, its meant to be like that bc TV but also like who the fuck runs and jumps at someone?!

"I win" bam drone!

"Thanks doc"

"Only killed 11, 12 wraith" BAHAHAHHAA

[cherish--these--times]

VERY LONG POST ALERT

I've been doing a SGA rewatch. Seeing John and Teyla in a new light and wanted to spread the love and share some thoughts! Bear with me on that one. They might be more to come.

-

I think The Legacy Series very cleverly exploited what had been established by the end of season 5. If we consider the Fandemonium books canon (Stargate Wiki certainly does) then John and Teyla are openly in love and in a committed relationship. The first couple of books reveal that Teyla had harboured feelings for him for a long time but believed he didn't see her in that way. Concept best illustrated by this scene, I believe. When Teyla offers a comfy thigh for his sleepy head and he doesn't say so much as a thank you and she looks discomfited to say the least.

And whether this was scripted or simply an acting choice on Rachel Luttrell's part, this look signifies a lot in an episode mentioning a man she has feelings for who has yet to make a move.

As stated in the books, following the deaths of Carson, Elizabeth and Kate, she sought comfort where she could find it, which was in the arms of a fellow Athosian whom she knew since childhood and who had the Gift as well. She tried to move on with her life with someone she trusted and loved. And it makes sense. Rachel Luttrell loved that about this storyline and I agree with her.

Truth be told, not much is happening regarding John and Teyla in the first three seasons, especially after season 1. John puts on the charm on her when they first meet the same way he does with every pretty girl they encounter on a mission, which clearly indicates that he finds her attractive. And she is INTO IT. Instantly. Her little smile and Colonel Sumner's raised eyebrow and barely concealed amusement LOL... The only moment of levity on his part regarding Sheppard...

You can glimpse that she might be falling for him right there and then. And the necklace scene.. Uuggghh the sexual tension there hehe.

John trusts her implicitly and immediately, it's beautiful to see. I love when he defends her against Bates when she's suspected to be a double agent for the Wraith. And he has little to show for it apart from the fact that he just really likes her and knows that she's a kind hearted person. It's not based on anything factual. Bates was absolutely right about that. And John losing his shit with him because he is well aware of that is delightful. He doesn't know why, yet, but he already adores her and will defend her honour to Earth and back (and that's a long way alright!). Same when she learns she has Wraith DNA and Bates once again suspects the worst. Teyla struggles to fit in and John is her anchor, for sure. Equally, I love when she volunteers to go through the gate with him when he has the iratus bug on his neck. She wants to do it straight away. Knowing she might not come back on the other side. She is already willing to do anything for him at the expense of her life and they've only known each other a few weeks by that point.

But after that first season... Nothing. Teyla finds an ally in Ronon as they both share the burden of not being from Earth and therefore being outsiders, to some extent. He takes John's place by her side and I am digging their friendship so hard it's unreal. Far more than I used to, actually. Ronon loves her so much it's so endearing. She is too reserved to show it in the same way but it's honestly so cute.

Regarding John, sure there is the Conversion episode. And to me it confirms what we already knew which is that John is attracted to Teyla and the virus lowered his inhibitions to the point that he just went and did what he probably thought about doing a handful of times. And the "He cares for you more than you know" body possession thing in The Long Goodbye is a clever way of insinuating that John has deeper feelings for her than he is letting on. Without truly committing to anything. And deeper feelings I believe he had from day one. That's how I had interpreted it. I just didn't think the writers were gonna do anything substantial about it.

And sure enough, John's relationship with her changes from season 2 onwards. It's subtle but you can feel that they have drifted apart, somewhat. Or perhaps things have now settled and John doesn't need to be so protective of her and her place on his team anymore. One thing I did notice is that Teyla is always annoyed when John flirts with other women. The camera is never focused on her specifically but you can see her doing a massive eye roll or else just staring at the back of his head everytime. Or sharing a look with Ronon. Sometimes all three LOL

I guess we can give season 3's episode The Ark an honourable mention for shippy content (and Sunday, more on that soon). When John is ready to die for her by landing the shuttle on the planet, even if Rodney deems it impossible. But that's just John for ya. He did the same for Elizabeth in The Real World. And Jennifer in The Seed. And for other people and Atlantis at large on too many occasions to count.

What the Remnants episode and subsequently the books did beautifully was to establish one paramount fact about John Sheppard. He considers himself a marked man whose impending death will be fate's retribution for his failure in Afghanistan. It was the defining moment of his character, I think. Every time he survives, it's just delaying the inevitable. And so risking his life trying to protect his team and Atlantis feels like fair dues. What else does he have to live for?

But then... Season 4 happened. And it is rather magnificent, in my humble opinion. I'm quite certain John is the one Teyla speaks of to her friend in Sunday. A man who is oblivious to her feelings for him. Very interestingly, that conversation about this mystery man happens at the exact same time Ronon is telling John that he always thought he and Teyla would hook up (Hurrah for Ronon, our biggest Sheyla supporter out there LOL). We know this because the explosion happens in both places shortly after. That, from a storytelling point of view, could not be more on the nose.

And so... in my view, Teyla got tired of pining. John wanted to spend time with her, risked his life saving her, freaked out when she was harmed but still, he did nothing. She was grieving. Kanaan was there. She knew and loved him. It made sense.

One thing I'm mad about is that, because the writers had to justify Rachel's pregnancy, they committed the ultimate sin: exposing Teyla's relationship with Kanaan to us rather than showing it. We had to make do with multiple characters saying something like "Oh the father is Kanaan, right? I noticed the way you spoke about him." KILL ME NOW.

Nothing is more off putting than forcing the audience to accept that something exists by telling them rather than giving them ON SCREEN evidence so they can buy it (looking at you, Ted Lasso). I mean... I would have probably hated the guy anyway (I am a shipper after all), but I don't know enough about him to have an opinion LOL. I only now understand Kanaan and his history with Teyla thanks to the books but it's certainly no thanks to the show.

Yet, it demonstrated one thing. The writers didn't care much about Kanaan. It was all about John and his feelings instead. They presented Kanaan as a fait accompli without doing any of the legwork to solidify their bond aside from some lukewarm scenes that defines them as nothing more than affectionate past lovers.

Instead, perhaps for the first time ever in the show, John gets emotional. Several times. And it's all to do with Teyla, let it be before or after the birth of Torren. More on that later.

I love this quote from the Outcast episode, when he goes back to Earth for his dad's funeral. I can't think of a better scene to encapsulate John's character:

SHEPPARD Well, maybe you meant something to him, too. You never know what people are thinking.

AVA Even those you're closest to?

SHEPPARD Especially those.

This is referring to his father who, to John's surprise, regretted the way things had ended between them. But in truth, I think it applies to John himself as well. That's Sheppard in a nutshell. Keeping his cards close to his chest and never letting the people he loves know how much they matter to him. They might be snatched away, or he might let them down, or he might die and cause them pain. This is post pregnancy-revelation by the way. Considering the context of the episode, this again clearly refers to his family (namely dad, brother and ex-wife), but it also applies to himself, the way he treats his friends and perhaps, dare I say, the fact that he's too late and Teyla is no longer free.

I believe we witnessed something rather fascinating on the writers' part once the decision had been made to make an unknown man be the father of Teyla's child (and rumour has it John has once been the main candidate). They could have dropped the John/Teyla ball right there and then. They in fact had, as far as I was concerned, except for the small hints in The Ark and Sunday mentioned above. But then they picked it up again in a way that leads me to believe they actually wanted to keep the ball.

(Sidenote: This has been proven true because it was planned that John and Teyla would get together in the movie following the end of season 5. As stated here by executive producer Joe Mallozzi. I discovered this after writing this post).

They had the perfect opportunity to have Teyla and Kanaan drive off into the sunset (I know they don't have a car... you get my point LOL) and leave it there but... No. They wanted to keep the romantic tension alive. Which is fantastic to me.

First little clue that feels different is that when they encounter Larrin again and John swiftly enters prince charming mode, the camera purposely shows Teyla's reaction. Which never happened before. This feels very deliberate. And for the first time she doesn't look mildly annoyed but simply... resigned.

It fits nicely with the narrative that she thinks John simply does not reciprocate her feelings. Consider that this is an odd directing choice to make when the writers have already told us she is pregnant with another man's child (though John does not know it yet by that point, which is important to note). To me, they clearly wanted to show that she still has feelings for him but probably thinks she made the right call by deciding to try and move on.

Now. To the main subject... Following Teyla's pregnancy revelation, it appears that John, probably against his will, caught (shudders) emotions.

In a predictable and intrinsically human move (if slightly infuriating), he kinda loses it the moment he learns Teyla is not only seeing someone, but has also conceived child with another man. Now, I know what you're thinking. I am reading too much into it with my shipper goggles on. Well, first of all, no because he loves her that's canon.

Secondly, he shows a level of anger and disquiet that we rarely get to see. He is still John Sheppard and is SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE with anything to do with feelings. But it's undeniable that he is shaken and rattled by the announcement of Teyla's pregnancy. In a way that immediately feels personal. Like not much else ever has on the show. Bear in mind, her people are missing. She is expecting a baby. This is good news and he should be over the moon for her. A glimmer of hope in an otherwise very bleak and gloomy time. But no.

The man is aaaaangry. One could argue that he is just upset because she's under his command and she hid something that could very well jeopardise their missions... That's very true, too (though she makes a point of saying Athosian women remain very active up until the birth of their child). But nobody else cares about that. Not even Sam, who would be well within her right to give Teyla an earful about this. She hid it from everyone but only he reacts so badly. Ronon could have been upset too! He is perhaps a closer friend to her by that point, yet he doesn't feel betrayed by her dissimulation. In fact, he could not be more supportive. Everyone but John is super happy for her. Kudos to Lorne for giving her a hell of a pep talk. I love Lorne. What a guy.

They all trust Teyla and know she can look after herself. John of all people knows that more than anybody else! But this is different. He always respected her decisions but this, he cannot cope with... That's not a direction the writers would have taken had they truly wanted to sail that ship once and for all (see what I did there?).

What he is saying is:

"You put yourself, your child and the rest of the team in danger by hiding crucial information from me. NOT COOL!"

Based on what follows in the show and the books (and the never to be seen movie script), what he is actually saying is:

"You slept with someone and I didn't even know about it and had I known I would have taken my head out of my ass sooner and now it's too late YOU'RE PREGNANT how could you do this to me?? Sure I flirt with every skirt in my vicinity, I give no evidence whatsoever that I love you except when I'm possessed by alien entities taking away my free will and therefore disclosing things I would rather keep buried as deep as Atlantis when we first found it. And I know you have a lot on your plate with your people missing and your child potentially being the last of them and whatnot but WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS TEYLA???"

I firmly believe that this is more than Teyla hiding the pregnancy and putting herself in harm's way. I have evidence of this because he loves her it's canon because in a couple of episodes later, in Quarantine, he is the one telling her that she will do more good as a mother by being on the field than by staying home.

And in season 5, in The Queen, she makes the decision to pose as a Wraith Queen and risk her life and John, though very concerned, supports her decision.

That and his faith in her ability to fend for herself since day one are proof, in my book, that his initial reaction was not entirely to do with worrying about her safety. Don't get me wrong, it partly is! And he is mad as hell because she put herself in danger and she's under his responsibility so if she and her child die, that's on him. He has every right to be pissed off. What strikes me though is not so much the reason for his anger but the fuel behind it. The immediacy of it. The "losing his cool in front of Ronon and in the middle of a corridor" type of shit. The inability to bottle things up the way he usually does. It's personal. He is affected in a way that's impossible to repress, which happens to be his coping mechanism of choice. Therefore all the more jarring when he fails to do it. And it's not the only time when it comes to Teyla and the daunting possibility that she might no longer be a part of his life the way she used to:

This scene is very interesting to me. Again with the "in a corridor and in public" thing. This time because he learnt that Teyla is considering leaving the team... And once again, he cannot contain his fury.

True, she has not been upfront about her intentions, probably because she feared his reaction... BOTH TIMES. Uhm...

Both times, she is going through the wringer and he lashes out because he doesn't know how to properly articulate that he is deeply, deeply affected. Teyla must have known this unconsciously because she chose to hide something from him twice. She knew that he would react badly. I think she knows that he is holding back on her and burying feelings. Women know these things. Teyla was a part of his world in a way that he thought was never going to change. But he was wrong. And facing that is unbearable for him, turns out. Considering that they get together in the books (or would have gotten together in the movie), his behaviour makes SO MUCH SENSE.

He's not always a dickhead though. In Quarantine he assures her that her boy will have a family no matter what. Even if she dies, they will look after him. And that is FREAKING AWESOME. He HATES talking about deep stuff. But he also knows she needs to hear from him, specifically, that she's an amazing warrior super mama who's not meant to stay home and change nappies and that they all will be there to look after mini-Teyla if anything happens.

It's unbelievably wholesome and further proof that John loves and understands her so so so so much. And the fact that when the baby kicks for the first time she takes his hand and he feels it...

And then climbs a fucking tower like a fucking prince when he senses that she's really starting to worry. He is already that kid's stepdad I tell ya. I know that Atlantis was emitting a signal that could attract baddies and that the city was vulnerable and he had to do it but the defining factor for his reckless Batman move was seeing Teyla distressed and you cannot convince me otherwise.

One thing that really struck me as well was that in the following episode, Harmony, two pretty women flirt openly with John and Rodney. The latter is hot and bothered whereas John is utterly unmoved. Which is a first. He is even the one who wants to cut this short and leave. Fascinating, right? The timing of this, to me, shows that John is not emotionally available in that moment. Not so soon after realising he lost his chance with Teyla. Sure, one of the women puts the charm on him times a hundred when she sees he's not keen on staying and she theatens to undo their alliance should he decline. And it works because John is still John and I'm under no illusion that he is immune to seduction. But it really dawned on me that yes... John is now aware of his feelings for Teyla. It becomes tangible, if subtle, because it's the MGM and they don't do shippy stuff.... Except for Rodney. Because Rodney is their favourite golden child LOL

That being said... it's still John Sheppard we're talking about. In season 5 he clearly wants to hook up with Larrin and then hangs out with sexy scientists because well..... Teyla is not impressed btw LOL

We can't really blame him. He thinks he missed his chance after all.

Now... Speaking of season 5...

I think it's fair to say that John Sheppard thought he would not die of old age. He was traumatised by Afghanistan (btw I think it's no coincidence Teyla was the only one who wasn't a threat to him in Phantoms, and appeared to him as someone he trusted and loved) and his failed marriage. By adding the otherwise utterly useless Dream Sequence between he and Teyla in Search and Rescue, it's clear to me the writers wanted to tell the audience John always had feelings for Teyla but had never allowed himself to go there because of the above. Also he perhaps had not realised the extent of those feelings. Until it was too late. Which is tragic. So I love, LOOOOOVE that they get together in the books. I love that he succumbs to his feelings for her and now has a partner and even a son to live for. Finally! Finally his existence is no longer about mere survival. It's what his character deserved all along. I love that she reminds him that he is a good man and adresses his fears head on. I love that he helps her embrace her Wraith heritage and her role as both a leader and a mother. I love that they lay kisses on each other's ugly parts. With nothing but mutual understanding, acceptance and love.

I love them your honour.

[autistic-crypt1d]

Season 5 SGA live blogging:

S1, S2, S3, S4

Big ass cliffhanger, Teyla is still being held captive by Michael and the team is racing against the clock to find her before she gives birth only to have a damn building fall on them!

Updates:

- Ronon calling Sheppard buddy 😭

- good lord that was a long ass zoom out

- Ronon and Teyla love eachother so much dude

- "you don't have to do everything yourself" facts Ronon, facts

- awww Rodneyyyyy

- Ronon carrying Teyla and her baby is just so AHHHHH

- HOW DARE YOU REPLACE SAM

- OH NO, THE SEED

- I don't remember how Keller got infected in the first place, during the rescue op for Sheppard, Ronon, Rodney, and Lorne?

- Carson!!

- ahhhhh yeah it was that planet

- I missed Teyla so muchhhh

- poor Sheppard y'all

- it always gets me watching Ronon pace around aggressively when something is hurting people that he can't fight. You can literally see him wanting to punch whatever it is no matter what it is or the fact that it is unpunchable

- of course Rodney stays with Sheppard ♡

- also, does this mean that all wraith hive ships are people??

- love how Woolsey is immediately and very rudely awakened to the reason why "going by the book" on Atlantis does not work

- shouldn't the stuff be attacking Sheppard now that he's cured?

- well, now it is

- did the vine stab Sheppard or just break a rib or something?

- Broken Ties, if this is the episode I think it is I'm about to be very sad

- I love seeing Ronon and Teyla together so much

- Ronon's jacket is so cool

- wait no I think the episode I'm thinking of is one of the last 2

- for all of his faults, I really so love how understanding Woolsey is when it comes to Teyla and her baby

- oof ok I remember what this episode is now and while it isn't the one that I thought it was, I will still be very sad

- Tyre you're a back stabbing little shit and I hate you

- DAMN IT TYRE

- Woolsey really does become quite sweet in SGA

- Rononnnnn AHHHHHHH

- of course Sheppard is the person Rodney goes to when he gets stuck

- Lorne!!!

- Ronon's voice on the verge of tears, BRO

- Kanaan, supportive husband of the year

- WOOLSEY WITH THE BABY PFFFT

- Tyre gets points for helping them get Ronon back but I still hate him for everything else

- let's go Rononnnnn

- Ronon truly looks very coo coo bananas here

- god the acting is so good

- Rodney talking to Ronon while he's unconscious recovering 😭

- Ronon holding the sword after Sheppard gave it to him, AHHHHHH

- ah crap, The Daedalus Variations, this is one of the few episodes that I immediately know by title

- I always wanna yell "DON'T GET ON THAT SHIP!!!"

- The duplicate bodies, AHHHHH

- is Ronon wearing a cardigan? It's fantastic regardless

- I love Rodney's little rectangle backpack so much

- the alternate reality drive is reminding me of the spore drive from Star Trek: Discovery, I still need to finish that

- ok it's not a cardigan but the cut is very similar and I dig it

- Ronon is so good at talking Teyla through stuff

- this other alien race intrigues me so much

- how tf did that dart just zoop through the shield??

-poor Sheppard being the only one who actually knows how to operate the ship in any significant way, Teyla knows a bit but that's it

- Ronon really has a 6th sense y'all

- good lord it takes a lot to down those aliens!

- I wish we got to see more of them so badly. Maybe if we'd gotten another season?

- ahhhh Ronon and Sheppard are the most badass duo ever istg

- poor Ronon y'all, he is not prepared for operating this shit

- since when does Atlantis have F-302s? I mean I know this is an alternate reality but like, you'd assume they'd be jumpers

- alternate reality Atlantis came in clutch tho

- not Sheppard basically flirting with himself XD

- Sheppard and his ds, I love it

- the way Rodney absolutely adores Torren even though he's simatioualy terrified of him is so cute

- I wish we got to see more of the alien fauna so badddd

- Ghost in the Machine, oh boy

- Atlantis going dark is always so freaky and cool

- AHHHHH the Elizabeth episodes always hurt so bad y'all

- I really don't understand why replicators want to ascend so bad, they can live forever, why not just go explore the galaxy now? Why do they need to do it as energy?

- I hate that Elizabeth has this arc

- YOU TELL EM WOOLSEY

- ouch ouch ouch

- The Shrine, ouch ouch ouch

- y'all this episode breaks my heart

- Rodney calling for John, OUCH

- AHHH you can see the organism in the water!!!!

- I know the water would've come through too, but couldn't they have just gotten back into the water and they open the shield just long enough for them to swim through???

- Rononnnnnn, he's so caring and sweet and AHHHH

- the whole thing with Jennifer hurts, Rodney tells her he loves her and she has to watch him fade away

- I don't really understand why the jumpers can't be cloaked while going through the gate, the only reason I can think of is that they made it up to make it difficult

- y'all Rodney coming to John on the verge of tears, desperately coming to him for comfort breaks my heart

- GIVING HIM HIS JACKET

- "you're stuck with me Rodney" HELP

- Sheppard loves that arrogant, whiney man so much

- "I keep seeing a face, everytime I close my eyes. I think it's my mother" BRO

- Keller has come such a long way, I mean she went from a flailing mess on the Bola Kai episode to proposing brain surgery in a damp cave to remove an alien parasite

- Whispers is so cool, it freaks me the hell out, but still cool af. Everytime I see the intro though I think of the SG-1 episode where they can't sleep or they die

- also, love seeing Carson again

- Porter and Mehra irritate me so much though. When characters are supposed to be tough but are either written badly, acted badly, or both, it's just so bad. Same thing with characters that are supposed to be hot, like, yuck.

- pfffft, Sheppard and Carson bonding over being in stasis pods

- I really like Vega though, and Teldy is cool

- I also desperately hate the weird thing between Porter and Carson, like, it makes me WILDLY uncomfortable

- god damn that was a clean ass transition

- VEGA DIES???? BRO

- Mirellus I swear to god

- THE CRAWLING ON THE WALL, HELL NO

- these things are so scary y'all, I love it

- honestly Mirellus, you deserved that. Not only did you release these things but you started screaming about them, like, wtf

- he really could've just grabbed the rope to bring up the bucket instead of using the crank, then used it to lower it the rest of the way

- poor Carson, his first mission back and he gets this

- see Mehra is great when she's being a bit goofy, but the whole dead pan serious tough as nails thing is so bad. I've never once enjoyed a character like that unless they had something else going on. Like, Teal'c and Ronon have personalities on top of that. I just think she was written badly honestly.

- The Queen, oh boy this episode is wild

- I truly do not understand the whole surgery thing. What exactly are they doing to her and how tf is it not permanent or leaving any lasting effects???

- Ronon's little smile at saying they were getting their asses kicked is so cute

- at least they finally got a new actor to play the Primary wraith queen

- ahhhh Ronon loves her so muchhhh

- oooo and new actors to play the wraith dudes too! Let's goooooo

- nice work Teyla, god damn

- Todd, buddy, you're really pushing it rn

- it will never stop being hilarious that Ronon has to get stunned like 8 times to go down

- Teyla is the tiniest wraith I've ever seen and it's so funny

- Tracker, very exciting, I kinda love this eoisode

- Sheppard is so totally jealous about Rodney and Keller

- AH I hate the awkward tension between the 3 sooooo much

- Rodney, Ronon, please be normal for like t seconds please

- the thing I hate about this episode is that they suddenly bring back the thing between Ronon and Keller. They don't mention it for a long ass time and their interactions don't hint to it whatsoever and now all the sudden he's into her again

- also the fact that it's so obvious Ronon loves Teyla so the whole Keller thing is just super weird

- it's weird they don't have a life signs detector with them, or maybe Keller has it

- Ronon and Rodney are both like obsessed with Sheppard (for different reasons), but it's hilarious that when they're without Sheppard, they're just a mess of a duo. Like they cannot agree on anything, they're constantly bickering, it's a mess

- idk about y'all, but I ship Keller with Kyrik more than anyone else

- GET HIS ASS KELLER

- Kyrik is awesome man, I'm really sad we never see him again

- ahhh I hate the awkward love triangle shitttt

- DANIEL!!! First Contact is one of my favorite episodes, I'm so excitedddd

- Daniel and Rodney are so funny together, I love it

- pfffft, Rodney telling him to push against the wall as hard as he could XD

- good lord that attempted speech interaction was awkward as hell

- poor Woolsey XD

- god damn the hyperspace window opening over the water is SO COOL

- I may not like these Asgaurd but they are so damn cool, the way they just completely ignore every effort Atlantis tries to stop them is wild. Shield? Ignored, floors between them and their goal? Going through them. Gun fire? Shields.

- THEY'RE SO BADASS

- the way that the 3rd just no hesitation sacrifices itself so the other 2 can get away with the guys and the device???

- poor Sheppard man, he's been in charge for only like a couple hours and they've been invaded and 2 of their people are taken

- god those two are so sassy I love it

- AHHHH Sheppard and Rodney thinking the same thing is so gay I love it

- the self destruct feature so that no one can find out what they really are??? AHHHH

- y'all, the existential crisis Todd has thinking about who the wraith would be without the war is devastatinggggg

- pfffft Daniel and his immediate urge to talk it out with his kidnappers

- those knockout sticks Todd has are so cool wtf

- the power spike, AHHHH CHILLS

- Sheppard staying with Radek no matter what, he's such a good leader y'all

- the explosion FX is not great lol

- oh shit I forgot this was a 2 parter

- I recognize the travers lady from somewhere

- omfg Rodney stepping between Daniel and the gun, BRO

- oh right she was on One Tree Hill!!

- yeah idk how anyone could ship Ronon and Keller in my opinion, they clash so badly personally wise

- good lord that engineering room gives me and Zelenka anxiety

- PFFFT THE SASSY HEAD BOB RONON GIVES WHEN HE SAYS NO

- THE ASGARD REVEAL

- I can't help but wonder if the war would've ended differently if instead of hiding, the Asgard had helped the Ancients

- man Daniel is really getting tossed around today

- ahhhh I missed Daniel's silly little mannerisms so much

- Keller with a P-90 is dope af, way to go doc

- I'm like 90% sure those "empty suits" had people in them cuz I could kinda see them swaying a bit and I think that's hilarious

- Daniel looks cool af in that suit

- pffft Daniel's little shrug

- Daniel please stop standing right by the damn antenna you're giving me anxiety

- LET'S GO SHEPPARD AND TRAVELER'S

- Daniel you really cannot die again

- "wanna unzip me?" "I'll look for a can opener" PFFFFT

- Ronon may be very emotionally intelligent when it comes to other people's feelings, but when it comes to his own, NOPE

- of course Rodney and Daniel are immediately sassy with eachother now that they're not about to die

- Rodney, please

- Outsiders is such an infuriating episode y'all, the way the villagers turn against these innocent people is just so AHHH

- Jervis I hate you so much, please shut up

- Jervis you are actually like, the worst

- the fact that he thinks that there is even a chance the wraith will keep their word and not destroy their village anyway means he is a damn fool

- Safaris you are also the worst and a fool and I hate you too

- Todd is literally the only wraith we've seen to my knowledge that's actually ever kept his word but even then he steals shit or throws wrenches in the plan every single time

- ok Rodney left out the time they did in fact escape from one of those cells but Ronon had like 80 knives on him that allowed that to happen sooooo

- wraith facial hair is so scrungly looking

- LET'S GO CARSON

- dude has become such a badass since he came back to life

- "you're gonna have to hold them off" "am I now?" PFFFT

- PFFFFT Carson and Rodney shoved into the dart is hilarious

- oh damn

- way to go Rodneyyyyy

- awww, Carson realizing Rodney misses him and taking a break for him 😭

- Inquisition, I have no recollection of this episode so far

- oh wait, oh yeah no I remember this

- honestly the counsel isn't entirely wrong, but they've been trying their best to fix their mistake and they're the best hope this galaxy has of defeating the wraith

- plus the fact that they woke them up early led to the infighting which gave them the advantage to defeat them

- why're they showing clips of the wraith that was converted long after Michael with the consent of the queen instead of Michael's transformation when that's what they were talking about?

- y'all they are fully tripping if they think the Genii's nuclear plan was going to defeat the wraith, there are far too many for them to have succeeded with a plan like that. Working with Atlantis there could've been a really helpful alliance but instead they decided to betray them again and again

- Atlantis has been making a lot of unilateral decisions yes, but like they said, they're the only ones out there fighting them. The ancients failed and there was no one left with the tech or numbers to stand up to them until the expedition showed up

- a lot of their plans have made things worse in some ways, but that's what happens when you're taking action, you can't be sure how things will turn out most of the time but you have to do something

- SG-1 got shit for this too about how they went about fighting the Goa'uld, but again, they were trying. Granted so were the Tok'ra, but they were also letting people die, leaving worlds enslaved, and had completely written off the Jaffa

- not to mention the fact that they've been expending countless resources giving aid to every society in need they come across, most of the time with zero in return

- these people revere the ancients as gods even though they were quite literally the cause of the wraith and replicators existing and abandoned the pegasus galaxy when they realized they couldn't atop the wraith, but now they put the expedition on trial for accidentally stumbling across what they left??? It's not their fault that the ancients left a damn minefield of awful shit across the whole damn galaxy

- I just noticed that Ronon had to physically drag Sheppard away when Elizabeth was sacrificing themselves

- I know that these people are upset but if they didn't wake them and they had those 50 years to prepare, the lives would've been lost anyway, different lives but lives nonetheless. At least with Atlantis here they have the chance to win and save future generations from this ever happening again

- Woolsey you sly dog

- LET'S GO WOOLSEYYYY

- Pfffft wtf was that swivel John XD

- The Prodigal, oh shit here we go

- see, Rodney and Sheppard are literally always spending time together

- I feel for Rodney with the stairs y'all, they are my sworn enemy

- Teyla is so pretty

- god damn it Michael

- damn that door lowering shot was pretty sick gotta say

- Lorne!!!

- Michael's obsession with Teyla is horrifying, he truly does not understand why she won't just go with him

- LET'S GO BANKS

- we don't get a lot of Chuck and Banks but I ADORE THEM, especially her

- YOU GET THEIR ASSES RONON

- Ronon may have technically lost that fight but he gave Teyla the opportunity to run and that's a win in this situation, especially given the fact that that buys them all time

- god I love Sheppard and Rodney during these situations "what do you need? 15 minutes?" And Rodney just rolls his eyes and does it

- Teyla is so resourceful and smart, she can't fight because she's holding a baby but you bet your ass she can kick that mf down the stairs

- the jumpers chairs look so comfy, I want one

- MICHAEL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, TEYLA IS A WONDERFUL MOTHER

- YOU STEP AWAY FROM RONON RIGHT NOW

- yessss let's go Radek!!!

- ooooo the fight scene is coming!!!!

- it's soooo over for you Michael

- Sheppard what did I say about hanging off of towers

- MY GOD THIS SCENE IS SO COOL

- YES TEYLA BEAT HIS ASS

- you tried to hurt her baby, you were never getting out of here alive

- god Teyla is so cool help

- Ronon's mission report is so cute

- Remnants, poor Sheppard man, I'm stressed and it's been 2 seconds, I just knw what's about to happen to this man

- also, Rodney's immediate flustered reaction as to why Sheppard would volunteer to spend a night away from Atlantis (him) is so gay I love it

- y'all watching this episode knowing what's actually going on from the start is wild, especially from Sheppard's pov. Bro really just could not help torturing himself

- poor Chuck

- also, have the uniform colors changed a bit? Chuck's looks like a weird dark green and Rodney's is a different blue than I remember. I feel like this must have happened when they changed the uniform style but idk why I'm just noticing.

- are Amelia and Chuck both military???

- ugh, Brain Storm. Malcolm is the worst.

- I hate that they did Bill Nye so dirtyyyy

- the fact that Keller doesn't trust Rodney's instincts that this is a horrible idea is WILD

- "you're smarter than me" "I know" DAMN RIGHT RODNEY

- PFFFFT the Bill Nye slap

- LET'S GO RODNEY

- "I love you. Have for some time now." CALLBACK LET'S GOOOO

- Infection, see now this is the episode I though Spoils of War was initially. This episode is so freaky I love it

- I originally was remembering it as being caused by the Hoffan virus but it's Keller's treatment, I remember now

- the wall melting, SO COOL

- THE MASKLESS WRAITH WARRIORS

- I still ship Rodney and Sheppard, but I will still admit that Rodney and Keller are sweet

- my god the wraith eating people is just such a new horrific thing

- SO FREAKY AHHH

- the massive crater in the ship is so cool

- THE SHIP BEING INFECTED, AHHH SO COOL!!!

- I love wraith shit so much, it's so unique and so cool and freaky

- "we're too late, the pods are opened" AHHHH

- oh my god I love this scene, the hive tearing in half, Rodney freaking out, they're going down y'all!!!

- "impact in 15 seconds" "not if I can help it" AHHHHH

- THE SHIP ENTERING THE ATMOSPHERE, THE TENSION!!!!

- the cgi of the shop landing in the water is rough af but still

- Identity, ah hell I hate this episode

- poor Radek, he was just trying to help

- Vegas is such a weird episode

- Vegas feels like such a random place for them to be, the wraith being there I can understand, but why are John and Keller?

- man I remember watching this episode for the firs time so vividly

- the scene where the wraith is disguising himself is so cool, but also like totally confirmation that wraith would be emo, punk, or goth if they were on earth lmao

- a wraith playing poker will never not be funny

- and the damn finger conversation

- god this chase is so cool, taking the gunfire like it was nothing, leaping down the stairs, thr wall vault, and god damn that no hesitation leap off the roof only to stand back up after slamming into the pavement, AHHHHHH

- SHEPPARD'S FACE

- there is not a single reality where this mf doesn't get dragged into this shit somehow is there

- Rodney!!!!

- alternate reality Todddddd

- I guess Keller was there cuz the government sent her and she was brought back from Atlantis too? Idk

- I'm sorry but an emo wraith wielding dual machine guns is so cool

- rip John

- wait stop this is sad I hate it, his face when he lies down just broke my heart

- ENEMY AT THE GATE, LET'S GOOOOO

- I'm so excited, I may hate that the show ends like this, but my god are these episodes so cool

- I'm honestly shocked the finale isn't a 2 parter

- pfffft Todd in a Deadalus jump suit is so silly, they unfashioned him

- LET'S GO DAEDALUS

- Sam!!!!

- Atlantis is leaving the Pegasus Galaxy y'all!!!

- Davis!! Loved that guy in SG-1

- ah hell the converstaion between Woolsey, Teyla, and Ronon makes me tear up

- one would think they would've adapted some of the shield technology they've come across and used it to defend where the chair was being held in case of something like this. I get they can't protect the whole planet with it but they could at least cover that

- rip chair and area 51

- Sheppard's on yet another suicide mission

- oh shit this is the episode with Ronon that makes me cry

- RONON 😭

- Teyla and Rodney's yells for him break my heart y'all

- I love you random ass wraith for saving Ronon ♡♡♡

- Lorne supporting Ronon, ahhhhhh

- ATLANTIS LET'S GOOOOOO

- KICK THAT HIVES ASS CARSON!!!

- "it's Atlantis, they're engaging the hive!" CHILLS

- AHHHHH

- y'all I'm tearing up this is so cool

- "This is my home" AHHHH

- Ronon is so awkward when he thinks someone is cute I love it

- if it has to be someone other than Teyla, I'm glad it's Banks

- I'm gonna cry, I love this show so much 😭

I hope you enjoyed reading these live blogs, it made me really happy to do it 💛

[salchat]

Getting to know your fellow fanfic writers better!

Thank you @wonkyelk for tagging me!

When did you post your first ever fic? April 2019

First character you wrote for? Ronon Dex and then Teal'c rapidly entered the scene, because it was a story about an all-you-can-eat buffet, so they were the right two characters to be motivated by that idea!

Main characters you are currently writing for? Supernatural characters - mainly Dean Winchester and Castiel. Yes, I have been bitten, chewed up and will probably never be spat out by the Destiel bug.

Characters you haven't written about before but plan on writing about soon? Um... I usually make up OCs fairly regularly, to keep the story moving along. I don't think I have any plans for actual fandom characters, though.

Fandoms your currently writing for? Supernatural

Platonic pairings you currently write for? There's usually some Sam and Dean brotherly interaction in my stories - not that I have any objection to others writing Wincest for them. I just think - go for it, have fun if that's what you like. I like to get Dean to interact with Bobby Singer sometimes. And others, depending on how the story's developing.

Romantic pairings you currently write for? Destiel all the way. Sweet or angsty or whatever. It's a comfort thing - a happy little world to live in.

Your top 3 tags on AO3 if you post there? I'm not sure what my top three would be statistically, but it feels like hurt/comfort, fluff and angst. I just don't think you can beat hurt/comfort. I don't like hurt/no comfort, though. My little people have to be comforted.

Current platform where you post your works? AO3

Snippet of the WIP you are currently working on?

I recently brought my long Secret Flowers story to a conclusion, a bit abruptly, but I really needed the feeling of freedom that gave me, somehow. Anyway, I'm now busily writing timestamps for it, which may or may not end up ridiculously long. This is from Secret Flowers - Crocuses:

Dean fiddled with the butter knife.  He shrugged and twisted and the coffee sloshed inside him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Mmm.  Uh.  You know.”

Sam might have snapped, 'I don’t unless you tell me.'  Which would have been a fair point.  But Cas was more patient.  He carried on eating and gulping his coffee and let the silence happen, giving Dean time.

“It feels wrong,” Dean said finally.  “To expect more.”  He slowly spread a long line of butter over the soft, fresh bread.  “This last year… well, you just think how we were… and how we are now.”

Warm hands enfolded his own around the butter knife.  “I know, Dean.  I know.  To have all this is a great gift.  But gifts need to be used and explored and I think Jack would want us to make the most of what we have - to really… to bloom like the flowers.”

Dean looked up at his lover’s unshaven face, the crinkly bits under his eyes, and the curves and planes and lines which made up his lips - how were they so beautiful?  How did that even work?

“Okay, then.”  Gruff and tight, Dean could’ve voice-overed the bulldog, Spike, from Tom and Jerry.  Why did his voice always do that when he was just trying to work through some emotional life-shit?

Cas smiled at him, another soft smile which he did ten, twenty, fifty times a day and always made Dean’s insides go caramel-squishy.  “Good.  So, after breakfast, we’ll make a start.”

Tagging @haus-seeblick @lanevra @casuallyneurotic But no pressure! I just love your stories!

[whitedragoncoranth]

Save Us Rocket...

"Fix the ship, Rodent!" snarled Drax.

Internally, Rocket seethed--but then his crimson eyes seemed to light up. "Oh, you call me rodent now, blue boy" he sassed, "but one day it'll be like this..."

And then... Rocket opened his mouth and sang!

"Save us, Rocket, Nobody builds like you, Get that bench hummin' And please build us somethin' ta Blow us up that moon..."

Rocket walked off to return to his bench in the Cargo slash Landing Bay, his eyes a li'l misty. Why'd we have to hand that Terran over to Nova Corps? For a primitive, he seemed like a cool guy... The little raccoon sighed at a potential friend lost--but as he returned to his tinkering, there came a banging on the Cargo Bay doors!

"Da flarkin' hell...?" Rocket thought. Readying a small stunner just in case, the raccoon opened the doors and - "Whoo! What a rush!" - blinked in surprise then outright cackled as David nearly fell into the cargo bay. Fortunately, the human caught himself in time--but then Rocket yelped as he was quickly picked up in a raucous hug, a hug he returned with fervour, his crimson eyes now very misty. It's just the dust in here, messin wit'--oh, flarkin'...

"Da flark HAPPENED?!" poor Rocket cried, voice breaking. "Flarkin'... when we handed you to Nova Corps, I thought you were gonna end up in the flarkin' KYLN... I thought you... I thought you were..."

"Aw, little man..." David soothed as the doors automatically closed and he stepped inside, over to Rocket's bench. As Rocket nuzzled into his humie, inhaled his scent, lick-licked him, snuffled back a sob, David sat down with Rocket near the work bench - not letting him go for a minute - and continued, "Nah, as it turns out, some idiot at the Corps wanted to book me and the band in for another concert..."

Now Rocket pulled back, wide-eyed. "What... da... flark...?" the raccoon half-laughed, incredulous.

"I know, right; that's what I thought when the bounty was erased, and I was let go. Hoo, boy, was Ronon Dey pissed when he heard--oh dude, shh, shh, listen! I think he's still going, holy shit...!"

Immediately, human and raccoon shut up and, yes, in the silence, both could clearly hear a Nova Corps Rookie being thoroughly dressed down, and loudly at that! Rocket's eyes widened--and then he clamped his paws desperately over his muzzle, snerked and snorted - trying in vain to hold back his laughter - wanting to keep listening, finding it all flarkin' hilarious! David did the same, hands over his mouth, body shaking with barely suppressed laughter. Oooooh, frack, I had no idea Centurions could be that loud! Rocket thought, in a mixture of awe and amusement. Jeeze, I'd hate to be that guy!

"... VACUUMING UP THE BARRACKS DUST WITH YOUR NOSE, CORPSMAN...!"

That was it, they were done; David and Rocket lost it and laughed and laughed, and laughed, clutching each other tightly until they flopped on the Cargo Bay floor, struggling for breath--but no sooner had they calmed down, gotten some air,

"...CLEANING THE LAVATORIES WITH YOUR TONGUE, DO YOU HEAR ME, CORPSMAN! YOUR TONGUE!"

... Rocket and David lost it again, laughing until they nearly choked! "Oh, gods, can barely breathe," the human gasped, "I can't - ah-ha-ha! - shit, hold on..." As Rocket howled his own laughter, banged his paws on the floor, David got up, went over to the mini fridge he'd stashed under the bench and retrieved from it a couple of milky-fizzes, one of which he put a straw in for Rocket. Together, both calmed, sipped their drinks and relaxed, content in each other's company.

The modified song referenced here is "Save us Sarah" by the Smoky Brights, from the game "Pacific Drive"; it's a banger!

[texasdreamer01]

:campfire-emoji: (cuz I can't get them up on my keyboard haha) for misit orare, ut venirem!

So my original plans for that fic was circulating around the tag "Friends to Lovers to Married" after an episode where Rodney McKay, uh, blew up a fair portion of a solar system mostly by accident.

...In his defense, he was trying to replace a faulty energy system that some people a long, long time ago had developed (think battery but not rechargeable) and he was feeling super guilty about getting some scientists working for him killed over some mistakes in the data (replacement attempt is also from the people from long, long time ago) and he was really pushing himself to Get It Right because they're technically in the middle of a war and really, really need that.

Unfortunately he gets rather ostracized for it, but John Sheppard (military commander and pseudo-canonical love interest, the other half of the McShep ship) gave him shit for it on top of the leader of the expedition (Elizabeth Weir, who... usually is rather indulgent on Rodney doing whatever science he wants but this time was Big Mad).

I was on track for this, being a sort of 5+1 kind of deal that digs up all of the little emotional underpinnings between Rodney and John and why both acted the way they did, but then I remembered the whole deal with Rodney being deathly allergic to citrus and how the mess hall... only served food with lemons (and presumably other citrus) in it for a while.

So now I have their other friend - and also team mate - Teyla being (rightfully) pissed off about this, and Ronon (also friend, also team mate) is involved and now I feel like this is going to be still a #Friends to Lovers to Married but kind of with a matchmaking tilt to it? I'm still in the middle of resolving that plot point and I'm not sure where it's gonna end up (hopefully I can get it back on track lol).

Initial summary that's probably gonna stay thrown-out:

They had learned, carefully, to ask.

[nimuetheseawitch]

For ask game, directors cut of your Larrin x Jennifer fic 👀

You probably know some of this already, since you definitely encouraged me in writing this fic, but here's some behind-the-scenes commentary for Sinew and Satin (formerly titled Spread Sheets):

I put it below the cut because it got long and also the fic is smut, so of course it's nsfw.

It all started with watching "The Seed" a little close to watching Firefly. I wanted to incorporate some of what I love about Kaylee into a fic about Jennifer because she doesn't have a ton of characterization in the show - mostly things just happen to her or Rodney and Ronon are into her.

This, of course, led to the idea that with Jennifer's experience turning into a Wraith hive ship combined with her medical knowledge, she would make an excellent Wraith ship mechanic. And who would need a Wraith ship mechanic? Well, Larrin of course!

The basic premise became that Larrin would kidnap Jennifer to help her repair a Wraith ship, just like she kidnapped John for her Alterran ship. But, of course, Jennifer would respond completely differently. And I realized that Larrin would respond completely differently too - she tied up John (I mean, who wouldn't?) and tried to beat him into submission, but that's totally not going to work on Jennifer. I realized that when kidnapped, Jen will go along with things up to a point, but the best way to get her on board was to create a life-threatening situation (like Larrin and John teaming up to deal with the Wraith). I also tend to go on and on if I let myself try to explain the setup, so instead, we start with Jennifer up to her elbows in the hive ship, probably running low on oxygen because the life support systems are failing.

This also gave me a chance to explore her coping mechanisms - when shit happens to her, we see her panic in situations outside her comfort zone. But when it gets down to it, she's a brilliant doctor and seems to usually just need a shift in perspective to get into things.

I love the idea of her pulling kind of a Rodney and getting really bossy once she's in the zone. Yeah, she might be terrified, but once she's set on a task, it doesn't matter that her assisting surgeon is also her captor - she's gonna manhandle her and get shit done. And Larrin is into it. I headcanon Larrin as really into competence because she's had to fight for her position and part of being a good captain is recognizing the skills of your crew. So Larrin is definitely into it, even though they're covered in Wraith hive guts and fighting to breathe. And then, we move into Jen fainting into Larrin's arms like we're in a harlequin romance (pirate queen kidnaps brilliant young doctor, etc.), and a fade to black.

As we get into the sexy bits, I just really wanted to emphasize that Jennifer was a different kind of captive - she's not in a cell, she's in the captain's quarters, surrounded by the kinds of luxuries the Travellers can afford in a life in space. I also just wanted to have Jen naked on satin sheets (but it makes a surprising amount of sense in the plot).

My goal with the sex scene was to flip the script on the kinds of things we usually see with Larrin/John, where Larrin is so very dominant (or very tied up). Jennifer is often shown as nervous and young and kind of swept away by events, but we know she can be dominant and the instigator - supposedly she jumped Rodney on the private jet. So I wanted more of that to shine through. I wanted her to realize, oh shit, Larrin has the hots for me, and then take control. I wanted Larrin to be able to submit without being a prisoner - to get a chance to be overwhelmed and not in charge for once because she's the kind of person who always has to show how much she's in charge. But Jennifer can take care of that.

This was my first ever attempt at femslash, and it is by far the smuttiest I have written so far. I really wanted to focus on textures and make it sensual and drawn out. I felt like both Jen and Larrin deserved someone to really take their time touching them.

In contrast to how things worked out with John, I wanted them to have a romantic goodbye instead of an antagonistic one. I also couldn't resist her giving Larrin a really public goodbye kiss. I love the idea of Jennifer Keller, who lots of people think of as timid, taking this really dominant role with this otherwise incredibly dominant woman. And completely flabbergasting AR-1, who've heard plenty about John's experience. And I couldn't resist having her yell back at Larrin "Call me!"

Title notes: I had no idea what to call this, but "Spread Sheets" was suggested (by you) because I was writing this instead of doing my spreadsheet work, and I thought it was a great title for some smut. And it was, but a few days later, the title Sinew and Satin came to me late at night and then bugged me until I changed it.

I recently have been encouraged in my thoughts of potentially doing more Jennifer/Larrin (again, you are such a good smutstigator), so here are some brief ideas I've had:

As mentioned in the fic, Jennifer could be doing some wellness checks for the Traveller fleet on a friendly planet, and Larrin has some ideas for what Jennifer could do for her wellness

Larrin comes to Atlantis for whatever reason, and they end up doing a much kinkier scene with Jen in charge

Jen has a present for Larrin, and it's John, all tied up and ready to play with (Larrin is still a sub, but John is too)

I'm excited to play with them because they have so much potential. And I want to get better at writing f/f porn.

[deadheaddaisy]

Ronon, you little shit.

Stargate Atlantis "Midway"

[ragingpancake]

McShep prompt: no regrets?

Thank you so much for the prompt! @gingerpolyglot I really appreciate you sending this to me!

The pain in his shoulder radiates outward until his whole arm feels like it’s on fire. They need to operate, to clean up the mess of splintered bone, fragments of bullet, but he refuses to let them put him under, not yet. Not when Ronon, Teyla and Rodney have yet to come back through the Gate. It’s only because he’d lost consciousness at some point or another that he’s here, pacing the gate room despite the way each painful step threatens to bring to him to tears. No one is talking, refusing to give up whichever Marine it had actually been who had dragged him through the Gate, leaving the rest of John’s people on the other side. Likely because they knew the soldier wouldn’t escape unscathed for ignoring the single, most important rule: we don’t leave people behind. It was meant to be a routine mission. A quick return to M5-X385 to check in on the Zamains and make sure they were settling in okay to their new settlement. It’d been fine at first, a cake walk really, until some faction of the old Zamani militia, pissed at being removed from their previous plant (despite the fact that it was, you know, showing signs of the beginning of an actual ice age), showed up. Their weapons were primitive, but effective. A bullet had caught him in the shoulder and while bullets had never taken John down before, the damn rock that conked him on the head from the damn trebuchet definitely had. He never would have left them. Never.

Ronon and Teyla, they could take care of themselves, John knew that. But Rodney… Rodney, who was never meant to be a soldier, Rodney who, most days couldn’t even get a handle on his own P-90… Rodney, who John had sworn to protect at all costs and not because he was honor bound to do so, but because… well, because it was Rodney, was still out there. He trusted Teyla and Ronon with his own life, trusted them with every single person on this base, but… But. Rodney. “Dial the gate, Chuck,” he snarls up to the control room, yanking the sling that Keller had fitted him with temporarily from around his neck and he has to bite back a strangled cry at the way it jostles his arm. He somehow manages to keep up that stoic façade, despite the pain, despite the worry gnawing away at his stomach. “Disregard that command, Chuck,” another voice rings out and John turns, glaring daggers at Colonel Carter. “I said dial the gate!” Sam takes the steps down into the Gate room two at a time, closing the distance between them, her own jaw set. “I let you convince me to allow you to remain out here until they get back, John, but I’m not letting you do this. You’re in no condition—” “They’re my people!” He bellows, “and if you think for one second that I’m going to—” The gate sounds, loud and echoing in the Gate Room and Carter steps back, pulling John with her. “I’m reading Teyla’s IDC!” Chuck calls down and John whirls on him angrily. “Lower the damn shield!” The moment it’s down, the trio comes running through the event horizon, followed closely by the marines Carter had sent in as reinforcements. Once everyone is through, the shield reactivates a split second before the gate dies and John realizes he’s been holding his breath. It comes out in a whoosh as he pushes through the small crowd, good arm gripping Rodney’s shoulder and it hits him in this moment that he could have lost Rodney and he thinks his knees are maybe about to give out when the scientist turns to him, blue eyes wide as he pulls John in for a bone crushing hug. “Oh thank God! I thought you died!” And John can’t stifle the cry that tears from his mouth this time as his shoulder explodes with pain. When he goes to his knees, Rodney follows him, careful to ease him down as Keller weaves her way through the group, medical team right behind her with a gurney meant for John. “I—I shouldn’t have left you,” John rasps as hands grab at him, but he pushes them away, eyes never leaving Rodney’s. “You went down so fast and, and, and there was blood and—” It’s Rodney’s hand this time on either side of John’s face. “I thought you died,” he says again and it’s too much in this moment, with the way Rodney’s looking at him and John can’t breathe and--. “Colonel,” Keller says urgently. “This can’t wait any longer. We need to get that shoulder--.” He doesn’t hear anything else though because he leans forward, shoulder be damned, and crushes his lips against Rodney’s. He savors it for about a half a second before he feels a prick in his arm and everything starts to go sideways. “Sheppard—” Rodney says as Keller’s team manhandles him onto the gurney and John can only watch through hazy vision as Teyla and Ronon help Rodney to his feet, Ronon’s hand clamped firmly on Rodney’s shoulder as if to keep him from chasing after him. I’m gonna beat the shit out of him later for that, John thinks, but it’s the last thought he has before darkness claims him. --- He wakes up in the infirmary and unsurprisingly, he’s not alone. Ronon’s sitting in the chair next to his bed, legs propped up on the edge while Teyla is at his feet, hands rubbing his ankle through the blanket. Rodney’s up somewhere near his head and John can feel the weight of his hand on his good shoulder. “’Thought you were gonna sleep forever,” Ronon says, dropping his feet and letting his chair tip back on to all four legs. “You should not have delayed your surgery, John,” Teyla admonishes gently and he wishes that they would at least wait until he’s fully awake before the

lectures start. “Yeah, but if he hadn’t, the whole Gate Room wouldn’t have gotten that show.” John blinks at Ronon maybe a little dumbly as Rodney’s cheeks pinken slightly. “Wha’—” John clears his throat. “What show?” “Oh, you know, the one where you tried to make out with McKay in front of everyone.” “Ronon,” Teyla chastises, but he grins at John. “Clearly, it was some sort of mixed reaction to the adrenaline decrease and, and, and probably blood loss,” Rodney explains and John can read it all over his face, even slightly high, that he thinks there has to be some reasonable explanation other than the fact that John just wanted to kiss him. Plain and simple. That he’s wanted to for the longest damn time, maybe since the first time Rodney showed him the Puddle Jumpers. The problem was never Rodney, it was always John, too emotionally stunted and stupid to act on what he wanted until he thought he might never get it again. “We don’t need to keep harping on it and embarrassing the Colonel,” Rodney huffs but he slouches down in his chair a little miserably. “No regrets, McKay,” John says, and he would shrug like it was no big deal if he thought he could move his shoulder without puking all over his team. But it has its desired effect because Rodney sits up so quickly that he very nearly drops his tablet. “I—what?” “Well,” John amends, feeling his eyelids growing heavier by the moment, “maybe just one.” His head lulls to the side and he gives Rodney a lopsided smile. “Probably shoulda done that sooner.” And Ronon laughs out loud, clapping his hands together like this is the best thing he’s ever heard. “Told you!” He crows. “I told you! You owe me a beer!” Teyla rolls her eyes but she does so with a smile as she rises, swatting Ronon’s legs. “We should leave you to rest, John. I am very glad that you are alright.” Ronon is still grinning broadly, even as Teyla ushers him away, but not before he claps Rodney on his shoulder roughly. “Did you… do you mean that?” Rodney asks, oddly quiet and John doesn’t know when his eyes closed, but he has to open them again to squint up at Rodney. “S’it alright with you if I do?” “Oh, yes. Of course, I just, uh. It’s just that… which is to say um, you’re youand I’m me and I just uhh… can we perhaps try again? Sometime soon? For scientific reasons, of course.” “Rodney,” John murmurs. “Hmm?” “Shut up.” “Right. Yes. Shutting up now.” It lasts for all of two seconds. “Really though? Are you sure? You literally just outed yourself in front of the entire expedition and, and, and—” “I know,” John says and he’s so close to falling back asleep. “Still. No regrets.” “Huh,” is the last thing John hears before the darkness claims him once more.

[sga-owns-my-soul]

Fic Idea Adoption!

i have way too many ideas for fics and i know i won't ever get around to writing them all so i'm putting some ideas up for adoption!! i may or may not write these eventually, but they're too good of ideas to leave sitting in my notes app forever, so i'm releasing them to the void! anyone and everyone is welcome to use them, and feel free to be as ambiguous with the prompts as you want! no particular order but nsfw ideas are at the bottom for anyone who wants to avoid them!

(if you do use any of these, i would love to read the fic!! you definitely do not have to but please feel free to send me anything you write off this list!!)

-john takes rodney to earths moon

-john and rodney find the ancient equivalent of speed. they do Everything

-au where ronon gets earth to repeal dadt bc john tells him it's why he can't be with rodney and ronon goes I Must Fix This (he enlists teyla and lorne and maybe cadman)

-rodney asks ronon to go with john to earth (outcast coda)

-rodney goes on bill nye saves the world after stargate declassification

-evans biggest fear is having to shoot john (and maybe getting a promotion bc of it?) and john finds out

-rodney’s ‘torture too hideous and intimate to recount’ is him being tortured, just for them to realize that torturing his team is a better way to break him

-teyla living out ‘the chosen one’ trope

-what happens to sora after the eye

-au where meredith(female!rodney) comes to atlantis instead of rod and not only is rodney horribly disturbed, he’s furious (and strangely confused) as to why everyone apparently likes him more as a woman

-todd is weirdly obsessed with this strange human he meets, and is determined to get closer to him

-the team is most excited about catching up with todd when they get the confirmation atlantis is going back to pegasus

-everyone complains about rodney’s moods bc no one can complain about the infinitely worse in every way sheppard bad moods, that make everyone on the base wish they were on a hive ship being eaten by two wraith at once

-au where ronon ends up on athos at the same time the wraith come and he sneaks through the gate with the intention of just sneaking away on the next planet but whoops it’s atlantis (ronon pov)

-rodney keeps a memorial for every single scientist lost in his lab and radek shows it to new scientists who start complaining about rodney not caring and risking their lives

-reaper au where’s he’s fed the fuck up with these two stupid men who never actually die when they’re supposed to and it’s more annoying than anything now bc he still needs to show up

-au carson comes to atlantis and is HORRIFIED by becketts retrovirus research and the hoffan drug bc “does the hippocratic oath mean NOTHING here???”

-au where rodney can’t admit to himself what john means to him, until something happens that brings all the alternate rodney’s that have lost their johns to atlantis, and they all fall apart when they see john alive, and john and rodney have to have a Conversation (mcshep? maybe ambiguous? idk yet)

-rodney sees john as three separate entities: the Colonel, who is Professional Important Official Man; sheppard, who is his friend/team lead that he hangs out with and goes on missions with; and john, who he’s always seeming to have very intimate moments with that make him question a lot of how he feels

-early days in the city, elizabeth is sick of the marines shitting on the scientists for not being tough and the scientists for shitting on the marines for not being smart so she makes them try to solve a fake crisis from the other side and everyone is like aww shit this is harder than it looks

-that thing where tough men pretend they don’t care much about someone but then the person gets hurt and Tough Guy go a little feral and then holds them close and whisper pet names (sweetheart, baby, darling, etc) but it’s john and/or ronon after rodney gets injured

-the more important something is to john, the harder it is for him to talk about it, and rodney starts to realize how hard it is for john to talk about what rodney means to him

-a bunch of au sheppards get brought to atlantis and one on them is terrified of flying

-rodney has always said biology was beneath him, but then ford almost died, and was… different, from the wraith. and rodney knew he had to find a way to help ford, maybe find a way to fix his mental problems while keeping the physical benefits. rodney and carson find a way to save ford and sheppard is so thankful he kisses them both

nsfw ideas:

-ronon suggests some planets for trading when they get low on supplies that have an interesting trade system. it seems too good to be true and they wonder why telya hasn't taken them until they find out that they trade goods for sex

-au where john is hired as a spy for atlantis and he seduces people in pegasus to get intel for the city

-sometimes rodney just grabs john (by the hair, throat, back of the neck, chin, etc) and asks who he belongs to and john instantly melts

-rodney decides to be a tease on a mission and teyla and ronon think mckay is just really pissing sheppard off when he pulls mckay away for “privacy” but really he’s just super horny and wants to fuck (or, teyla and ronon don’t realize that their fighting is foreplay)

[pinkoptics]

Artist’s Muse AU

McShep | 914 words | M | AU-gust 2022

Fluff | John is a little shit

on AO3

John discovers Rodney has a secret hobby.

“Whatcha got there?”

John reaches for the small notebook Rodney has been scribbling in intently, oblivious to John’s entrance to the lab. He jolts just before John can grasp it, his face a picture of comical horror. He clutches the notebook tightly enough to his chest to crush it and pushes his rolly chair with enough force that it flies back until it smacks another console.

John grins. Whatever it is, it must be good , but even if it isn’t, he’s always up for a game of keep-away.

“Working on a new theory you don’t want anyone to see yet?”

John takes a slow, deliberate step forward. Rodney re-angles his chair and pushes it again, slamming into another console.

“Or maybe it’s a ‘Dear Diary, Radek is more brilliant than I will ever let on.‘“

Rodney’s face gets all cute (ie. annoyed and pinched). “Sure Sheppard, right beside my Rodney+John heart doodles.”

John takes another few unhurried steps and puts a hand over his heart. “Aww, Rodney, I didn’t know you cared.”

He’s out of his chair now, trying to side-step John (he’s run out of room to retreat) in a maneuver that might have worked, if John hadn’t been the one who’d taught it to him. He catches Rodney’s wrist and with a precise squeeze, Rodney yelps and drops the notebook, right into John’s waiting hands.

“Entirely unfair!” Rodney bites off, ‘annoyed and pinched’ is now turning into a glower (also cute and, yes, John is entirely aware of how far gone this makes him in the Rodney-crush department). “You’re using your military ninja powers on me. Does privacy mean nothing to you?!”

They do a little dance, of sorts, with Rodney trying to grab his journal back and John deftly keeping it just out of reach. “C’mon buddy, if it’s not a diary or a top-secret Nobel winning theory…?”

He vaults over a console, temporarily stymieing Rodney’s progress, and flips it open. Whatever John was expecting, it wasn’t this.

“Huh.”

“Huh? That’s it? Sheppard, we are too old to be doing this. It’s ridiculous. Undignified. Give it back.”

Rodney’s rounding the console, but John has vaulted neatly over another, eyes never leaving the page.

“Damn. You’re really good. Why would you hide this?”

“Give. It. Back.”

Something in Rodney’s tone makes him look up. Glowery has been replaced by a mix of genuine anger, distress and… embarrassment? He can’t see why. Sketches of slender fingers, studies of eyes, a sort of imperfect bumpy nose, full lips, ears that look elven… oh.

Shit.

Rodney uses his stunned realization to snatch it back, stuffing it under his jacket and out of reach unless John really wants to work for it. He doesn’t. He’s seen enough and Rodney’s twisted red face is twisting guilt in his gut.

“It helps me think, okay? When I’m stuck. And I’m really stuck on this stupid transporter issue and everyone is down my god damned back about it because they have to walk everywhere. Like I want to walk everywhere? Are they fucking kidding me? I’m the poster child for not wanting to walk. My sciatic nerve is telling me every day just now not happy it is about it. So I sketch. I do things with my hands. I used to play piano but we don’t have one here, so I sketch and it clears my mind and so what if I sketch you. I’m with you all the fucking time, so your features are just familiar. But no, you’ve got to make it weird. Do you know what a challenge it is to sketch your stupid hair? Have you ever—”

“Rod-ney!”

“What?!”

John waits. A solid beat. Just to be sure the ramble isn’t going to forge on.

“Do you sketch Ronon and Teyla?”

Rodney doesn’t need to answer aloud. It’s written on his face from the moment the question leaves John’s lips. Rodney’s so truthfully blunt he’s never learned how to be a good liar. He starts trying to answer, to deny, but he’s stammering now and John grins, putting a shushing finger over Rodney’s lips. He hadn’t thought Rodney could blanch harder but he has.

John steps back and cocks a hip. Rodney’s gaze snaps there, then snaps back.

“How would you like a live subject?”

“Wait— what?”

“Because your sketchbook seems to be missing some things.”

“Missing…”

“Things you aren’t so familiar with…”

John places his thumbs in his front pockets and angles his hands just so. Rodney’s eyes dart helplessly again. His face is still very red, but it’s not anger anymore.

“Right. Things…”

“Yes.” John grins. “I’d be happy to help you with those… things.”

Rodney’s eyes are meeting his again, a little frantic. “O-okay. I-I can’t believe I’m going to say this out loud, but this is so far out from where I thought my day was going, and sometimes I really misread hints. Even hints this—” His hand flaps in John’s general direction.

John laughs. The frantic babbling is cute too. Yes, very far gone.

“My cock, Rodney. Things is my cock.”

“Oh thank god.”

John tilts his head to the side, angling toward the door.

“Now?” Rodney’s voice is a little strangled and damned if that isn’t cute too.

“Yes, Rodney, now.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice. They end up in his quarters, where John models, naked, as promised. The sketch, however, day after day, remains mysteriously incomplete— no matter how many times they try.

[dedkake]

no one there | gen, .6k, t

october days 19-24 whumptober + fictober: five times john was alone and one time he wished he were

The clearing in front of the shrine is empty, and John’s stomach drops. He’s really on his own here, not that he’d expected anything different.

**here’s a little warning for an ambiguous ending

read it below or on ao3

-

“I’m not saying I’ll be at the gym six hours a day,” John says, his foot slipping on the wet stones of the river. “Not like Ronon—no offense, buddy. Just that I’ll put in a little more time. I’ll even bring McKay—” His knees give out, though, his lungs seizing up as he hits the icy water.

“Shit,” he says, but he can’t bring himself to move.

“Just—” he tries, sucking in as much air as he can—“quit playing games and get back here already. Do we have a deal, or what?”

There’s no one there to answer.

- -

John blinks when they pull the bag off his head, his eyes stinging at sudden brightness.

“It seems Mr. Woolsey’s got as much of a backbone as you said,” Dhen says, fingering his gun.

The clearing in front of the shrine is empty, and John’s stomach drops. He’s really on his own here, not that he’d expected anything different. Woolsey was never going to trade the Aqol ambassador for John. Their tentative alliance with the Aqol is too important to jeopardize.

Dhen steps closer. “Well,” he says, the muzzle of his gun pressed to John’s thigh. “Since there’s only us.”

- - -

The door to John’s cell creaks, setting John’s teeth on edge before the guard even enters.

Not that there’s much hope for him at this point. He wipes at the blood on his hands, can taste it on his lips. The coughing that had started last night hasn’t let up, not after the beating he’d endured yesterday.

“Your friends sure are talkative,” the guard says, and John’s world goes gray at the edges.

“You said they’d be safe,” he says, his voice distant, his chest tight. He’d been sure, that’s why he’d volunteered.

The guard laughs. “I never said that.”

- - - -

The light from the isolation room ceiling is too bright and no one will fucking shut it off. They don’t even have the decency to let John turn the damn thing off himself—they’ve just left him here, strapped to the bed.

“Who said this was a good idea?” he asks, but distantly, he thinks that it might’ve been him. Something about the enzyme, which he’s been able to avoid until now, now when he can feel its grip on him loosening, leaving him drifting away into nothing, leaving him to die.

And there’s no one there to stop it.

- - - - -

“Thought you could escape?” John can’t see the man who’s shot him, just scrambles to get away. “Not on my watch.”

“Hold him down,” the man says. There are hands on his arms, his pressing into his back, his legs, keeping him down, the pain in his side skyrocketing at the pressure. If he can keep their attention on him, though, maybe the team will get away.

“Ten against one,” John says, lungs burning. “I’d take those odds too.”

There are boots in front of him, someone crouching down. John sees the Wraith tracking device before he hears it beeping.

+

“Is this safe?” Teyla asks, shining her light around the cave. That should’ve been their first clue to get the hell out.

Just one visitor, the village elders had said. It was supposed to be John alone. It’s too late now. They’re cut off from the entrance and the creatures under the mountain are relentless.

John flexes his fingers, wincing at the stretch in his bleeding knuckles. He’d run out of ammo long ago, his knife and fists all he has left.

“Sheppard,” Ronon says, his hands covered in Rodney’s blood as he struggles with a clean bandage.

“They’re back.”

also on ao3

[valdomarx]

Entry, Descent and Landing

Stargate Atlantis, McKay/Sheppard, time loop, 6k, rated M

Also on AO3

-

“The gate’s not working,” Rodney huffs, entering the mess with a scowl on his face. He's clearly personally offended by this turn of events.

“Eh, I’m sure you’ll fix it.” John currently has more pressing issues to consider, like whether he can reasonably have fruit loops for lunch or whether he should eat some vegetables like an adult.

He picks up the fruit loops.

“I’m serious!” Rodney is all fidgety, talking and waving his hands instead of eating, and that’s never a good sign. “There’s something very wrong with it, and I have no idea why.”

John raises an eyebrow. It’s not often that McKay admits there’s something he doesn’t understand. And without the gate, they are vulnerable.

Regretfully, he puts the fruit loops back. “Alright. Why don’t you show me what the problem is?”

-

The gate will accept an address, and it spins and dials as normal. But when it should open a wormhole with a whoosh and a ripple of blue light, it simply stops dead. The lights fade out and it shuts itself off.

Huh.

“It’s been like this since we tried to dial New Athos for a check in.” A frown creases Rodney’s forehead. “Hand me that scanner, will you?”

-

They spend the day poking and prodding at the gate and the control consoles - or, more accurately, Rodney pokes and John swings his legs off the side of the console and provides unhelpful but, he thinks, amusing commentary - but there’s nothing to indicate a problem. No fried circuits, no missing components, none of the usual error warnings which appear when the gate runs into a problem. It just… doesn’t work.

They work through the afternoon, and by the time eight p.m. rolls around John is ready to call it a night and start again tomorrow. But before he can suggest they get some dinner, the gate whirs to life and begins to dial.

“Did you do that?” he asks Rodney, but he already knows the answer is no by the look of confusion on Rodney’s face.

The gate spins as if to dial but it doesn’t connect. It merely sits there, illuminated but inactive, and then -

-

John wakes up in his quarters.

That’s weird. He’s disoriented, and woozy, and he feels a headache creeping at the back of his skull.

He shakes it off. He probably just needs some food. He heads to the mess and is sitting down to eat when -

“The gate’s not working,” Rodney huffs.

John squints at him. “Again?”

“What do you mean, again?” Rodney waves him aside impatiently. “There’s something very wrong with it, and I have no idea why.”

A cold chill settles at the bottom of John’s stomach. “I know, Rodney. We had this conversation yesterday.”

“What are you talking about? Of course we didn’t. The gate only stopped working today.”

-

Rodney insists that he has no memory of the gate breaking, and neither does anyone else they talk to. It's like the previous day has simply disappeared.

The more he insists that he remembers it, the more Rodney turns from dismissive to concerned, until he marches him down to see Carson and okay, that's not the worst idea under the circumstances.

Carson checks him over, determines he's physically fine, and tells him it's probably just déjà vu. But that can't be right. It was so real.

Rodney keeps shooting him these worried looks, and that's definitely not helping. So he brushes it off and suggests they get back to fixing the gate. It is, after all, still broken.

They spend another few hours on that, opening up the consoles in the gate room and looking for any faulty hardware. Soon enough it's dinner time, and he's going to suggest heading to the mess when the gate spins up again, and oh shit -

-

He wakes up in his quarters. He frantically scrambles for his watch and sees that it reads two p.m.

This is definitely not déjà vu.

He heads straight to the gate room. The gate techs are antsy.

"Sheppard, you're here, good." Rodney enters, a tablet tucked under one arm. “We've got a problem. The gate’s not working."

-

They try to fix the gate again, with no more success than the last two attempts. John keeps checking his watch.

Maybe it's different now. Maybe he's changed enough to stop the day repeating.

At exactly right p.m., his sunny, perhaps delusional, optimism is shattered.

The gate starts dialing.

-

He wakes up in his quarters.

He sends Rodney off to consult with Zelenka and takes matters into his own hands.

He tries everything he can think of to dial the gate - dialing different addresses, dialing it at different times, even removing and replacing the control crystal in his famed “turn it off and turn it on again” approach to computer repair - but nothing works.

He tries taking a puddle jumper and flying out to the mainland, and into space, and as far around the planet as he can get. No matter how far he travels, at exactly eight p.m. he resets and wakes up back in his quarters.

Six hours is simply not enough time to solve whatever the hell is going on here

He tries explaining his situation to Elizabeth, to Teyla and Ronon, to Lorne, to Carson. Even when people are willing to entertain the notion of a time loop, no one knows how to address the problem, let alone suggest a solution. At best, they seem to be humoring him. At worst, they seem to think it’s his apparently inevitable slide into paranoia.

After trying everyone on the base he has even a passing relationship with, he gives up telling anyone. They can’t help him.

-

He overrides the city’s power usage limits and tries to dial up Earth. The gate still won’t dial, and he overloads the ZPM, and the entire city is plunged into darkness.

-

He wakes up in his quarters.

He used to love it here, his own little corner of the strange place that is his home. Now it feels like a prison.

-

He tries to make contact with the Athosians, or with the Manarians, or even with the Genii. But without the gate, his radio transmissions will take years to reach them. He sits by the radio anyway, listening to the crackling static and waiting for a reply he knows will never come.

-

Maybe he's trapped in a virtual reality, or his mind is being probed by aliens. It wouldn't be the first time.

Maybe none of this is real.

-

He stands on one of the city’s most distant piers, staring out into the ocean. It’s quiet here, now he’s turned off his radio and tweaked the lifesigns detector so it can’t track him. He watches the waves, the same today as they were yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. He considers his options.

-

He puts a gun to his temple and counts down from five.

He wakes up in his quarters.

-

He bangs on the lab door and tries one more time to convince Rodney to help him.

“A time loop is not impossible,” he grits out. “It happened at the SGC.” He knows Rodney has read the file.

“That’s because there was an Ancient artifact involved.” Rodney sounds haughty. “Have you touched any strange Ancient artifacts recently, Colonel?”

John breathes between clenched teeth and shakes his head.

“So. Time just spontaneously started resetting itself, did it?”

“How should I know? All I know is that I have woken up in my quarters a hundred times by now, and every day at eight p.m. the loop resets itself.”

“Why are you the only one this is happening to?”

“I don’t know!” he yells. “I have no idea what terrible sin I’m being punished for here! I’ve made my share of mistakes in my life, but nothing that deserves this.”

Rodney stops moving and looks at him -- really looks.

“Jesus, Sheppard.” Rodney’s brow creases. “You’re not okay, are you?”

John slumps. He can’t summon the energy to deny it. “Not even remotely.”

For some reason, this seems to be what pushes Rodney into taking him seriously. He nods, once, sharply. “What can I do to help?”

He looks at his watch. It’s ten minutes to eight.

“Tell me a secret,” he says.

Rodney gives him a disdainful look. “What is this, a tween girls’ slumber party?”

He grits his teeth. “I spent the entire day trying to convince you what’s happening to me is real. I don’t have time to do that every loop. I need you to tell me something no one else knows, so next time I can convince you I’m not crazy or playing around and we can fix this.”

He sees Rodney’s mind working. He can tell he knows John is right and he’s considering options of what to tell him: details about his childhood, his research, his time here on Atlantis, and discarding each one. For all his faults, Rodney does not dissemble. His life is an open book, and for this to work John needs to know something truly private.

“Alright,” Rodney says eventually. He tilts his chin up and straightens his shoulders like he’s bracing himself for incoming fire. “When I was fifteen, there was a boy at school a couple of years older than me. His name was Mikey Haynes.”

-

“Have you touched any strange Ancient artifacts recently, Colonel?” Rodney asks with the same look of superiority he always has. “Because that’s the only way-”

“McKay,” he interrupts.

“- and why would you be the only one affected, that doesn’t make sense-”

“Rodney!”

Rodney stops. Something in the tone of his voice has broken through.

“I know about Mikey Haynes,” he says.

Rodney goes very pale and John can feel the anxiety radiating off him in waves.

“How do you know that name?” his voice is barely above a whisper.

“Because you told me, Rodney. In the last loop.”

For a few seconds Rodney stares at him, eyes wild and arms wrapped protectively around his chest. Eventually he gives one, sharp nod.

“Alright. You’re stuck in a time loop. What are we going to do about it?”

-

He has that conversation with Rodney every single loop. It is, without exception, the worst part of each one. Even feeling himself die wasn’t this awful.

-

He and Rodney have run every test they can think of. He’s been subjected to medical tests and genetic tests, they’ve scanned him for nanites and viruses and alien mind control, and they’ve turned up nothing. He is, by all accounts, completely healthy -- other than the fact he’s reliving the same six hours over and over and over and over.

“Maybe the problem isn’t with me,” he says. He chews over the idea and it seems plausible. “Maybe the problem is with the city.”

“What?”

“What if I’m not the one being looped through time? What if you are, and I’m the only one who’s aware of it?”

“So you’re sane and everyone else is crazy?”

“Yes.” He folds his arms over his chest. “Maybe my ATA gene gives me some protection against the effect, I don’t know.”

“Your magic genetics strike again.”

He ignores the griping. “If I’m right, the problem is even worse than I thought. The whole city, even the whole planet could be stuck in the loop. What’s happening to our allies while we’re stuck? How far have the Wraith advanced across this galaxy without us to keep them in check.”

Rodney swallows, the gravity of the situation finally hitting him.

“There must be a clue in the city sensors,” he says, pushing bits of drone aside to access the whiteboard in his lab. “If the reset is at the same time, there might be a preceding energy burst we can detect.”

“What good will that do?” John is too tired to think straight. “I know when the loop is going to reset.”

“Because if we know what type of energy it is, we can understand what’s causing it.”

John throws up his hands. Sure, why not. It's not like he's in a hurry or anything.

Rodney pokes through the sensor data, making little hmm noises which he finds unreasonably aggravating.

“See!” Rodney has his smuggest expression on, the one that simultaneously says I told you so and I know you find me charming. “Here, just before the gate failed to connect, there’s a small anomaly in the readings. It looks like… Interesting. It looks like ionizing radiation.”

“What does that mean?”

Rodney’s brow creases. “I’m not sure. There’s a spike of gamma and X-rays as the gate tries to connect. But I have no idea what the source is.”

John barely has time to let out a frustrated breath before the loop resets.

-

He hurries back to Rodney’s lab and points him to the sensor data.

“Interesting,” Rodney says again. “It looks like ionizing radiation.”

John exhales. “Yeah. You said that last time.”

-

He doesn’t need to eat, or sleep. His body resets with every loop. And yet, his mind has frayed. He hasn’t rested in so long, his thoughts are a jumbled mess.

He takes a loop off. He goes to the gym and spars with Ronon. His muscles are fresh but his strategy is a disaster; Ronon unsurprisingly wipes the floor with him. All the same, it feels good to stretch and move; to worry about avoiding a flying elbow instead of his sorry fate for a while.

Then he has dinner with Teyla. He doesn’t know how many loops it’s been since he ate, and even though he doesn’t need the sustenance he realizes he has been missing the sensory experience of it, and the camaraderie of a shared meal.

He tells Teyla about the time loop, casually, like it’s not a big deal, and she doesn’t seem convinced he’s telling the truth but she doesn’t dismiss the possibility out of hand either, and he loves her for that.

“If that were the case,” her head tilts to one side, thoughtful, “it would be a kind of opportunity, would it not?”

He squints. Nothing about this feels opportune.

“If time were to always reset itself, you could do anything you wish, without having to consider the consequences.” She shrugs. “Many have wished for such a chance.”

Huh. He never thought about it that way before.

-

Next loop, he steals a jumper and takes it for a joyride, zipping away from Atlantis and out into the solar system.

He pulls a reckless slingshot maneuver around the third planet out and is sent hurtling toward the star at the heart of the system, traveling so fast the jumper shakes and rattles even with the inertial dampeners. Elizabeth screams at him over the comms and he flips them off.

He approaches the sun at breakneck speed and the temperature in the cabin begins to rise. He swoops low into the sun’s corona, arcs of plasma leaping up around him, even more wild and ferocious than he expected. The sensors scream out warnings about hull temperature and radiation levels and he ignores them, absorbed in the way the jumper dives and banks.

He plunges closer, seeing the star’s surface bubble and erupt, then pulls up in a wild loop and swings down closer still: through the corona and into the chromosphere, the space around him transformed into wild hues of pink, shot through with filaments of white hot gas which snap and twist around him.

In the moment before the jumper is destroyed, as alarms blare and the air rushes out through cracks in the hull, his vision is filled with the surface of the sun. It is entrancing, covered in cells of red and orange and yellow, molten and changing and blindingly, blindingly bright.

-

He records a message for his father and uploads it to the queue to be sent back to Earth. “Dad,” he begins. “I want you to tell you something, something I’ve been meaning to say for a long time. From the very bottom of my heart: Go fuck yourself.”

He knows it’ll be heard by the gate techs, if not the entire expedition. That somehow makes it even more satisfying.

-

He finds Cadman.

“You’re an explosives expert, right?”

“Technically it’s high temperature and energetic materials technology,” she grins, “but close enough.”

“Awesome. Where do you keep the good stuff?”

She raises an eyebrow.

“You know. The really fun explosives they don’t let the field teams use.”

“Oh, that good stuff. Right this way.”

They spend an afternoon testing the structural integrity of the city’s farthest piers (not as good as you might think), seeing what happens when you strap C4 to a naquadah generator (an extremely large explosion), and enjoying the simple pleasures of tossing prototype grenades into the ocean (the water sprays rainbows across the sky as it is thrown miles into the air, and it falls on them like rain as they laugh).

Cadman barely needs any convincing.

-

He tells Lorne that he’s gay. Lorne doesn’t miss a beat.

“Yes, sir,” he says, entirely unperturbed. “I figured.”

-

He leaves a message for Nancy.

He tells her he’s sorry, that he knows he was a bad husband, that it wasn’t fair the way he treated her. He tells her that she deserved better, that he wishes her well, that he hopes she’s happy, and he means it.

He feels lighter the moment he's finished. He wonders why he never did this before the loop.

-

He’s struck by a genius idea, and he busts open a few locks and drags the ascension machine out of storage. Sure, it nearly killed Rodney, but maybe he’ll get lucky. Nothing to lose at this point, right?

The moment the light envelops him, he knows he’s made a terrible mistake.

Within minutes his skin is peeling away to reveal hard, blue scales beneath. The sunlight becomes unbearable. He turns the lights out and feels his way by sound instead.

He doesn’t remember much beyond that. There are only brief flashes in his mind: cold metal beneath his claws, horrified screams reverberating in a corridor, the effortlessness of scuttling up the side of a tower, the crunch of bones cracking between his mandibles.

-

He locks himself in his quarters for a few loops after that.

After a while his guilt is outweighed by his boredom. He picks up the guitar that has been primarily decorative thus far and learns to play Folsom Prison Blues.

Time keeps dragging on, indeed.

-

Eventually, as seems to be inevitable, he ends up coming back to Rodney.

"Sheppard." Rodney gives him a quick nod. "What can I do for you?"

There are a million answers to that question, and none of them are appropriate for work.

He considers the juxtaposition: Rodney's cool greeting with the way he's bouncing on the balls of his feet, all coiled excitement and nervousness. That's how Rodney often is around him, now he thinks about it.

Is it interest or intimidation? Fondness or annoyance? He's never been good at parsing emotions, and that's been a frequent source of frustration. Now it's particularly acute.

"You want some coffee?" Rodney offers, like an olive branch. "I'm sure we've got a clean mug around here somewhere."

John does not want coffee.

How many times has he thought about this? Too many to count. And how many more chances will he have?

What the hell, he thinks. Teyla was right. He'll never get a better opportunity than this.

He steps forward and puts a tentative hand around the back of Rodney's neck. He hears his breath catch. He rubs the soft hair there between his fingers, watches the blush rise on his cheeks. It's an enticing look.

Slowly, carefully, he leans in and kisses him, uncertain even though he knows the loop will reset, because this is bigger than some silly irresponsible behavior; this is him putting his heart in Rodney's fidgety hands and hoping against hope it won't be crushed.

For a moment Rodney freezes, and John is already formulating frantic apologies when Rodney mouths, "Oh god, finally," against his lips and wraps his arms around his shoulders, yanking him closer and kissing him hot and hard.

It's easy as anything to slip his hands under Rodney's thighs and to lift him onto the workbench, even while Rodney attempts to distract him by unbuttoning his shirt and biting a line along his collar bone.

-

He fucks Rodney over the bench in his lab, and next time on a balcony overlooking the city, and after that on Elizabeth’s desk. He learns every inch of his body; the soft plump of his thighs, the way he likes to be jerked off nice and slow, the sensitive patch of skin behind his ear.

For loops and loops, he does nothing else. Rodney never turns him down, not once. No matter where he is or what he’s doing, he’ll drop everything to be with him, and John has no idea what to make of that.

(Yes he does, but it's too big and too terrifying to look at directly, so he puts it aside.

It can wait. He has nothing but time.)

The first time he gets Rodney to fuck him, he bursts into fat, ugly tears afterwards and Rodney wraps a blanket around him and pets his hair. They stay like that for hours, Rodney holding him and for once not speaking, letting the waves of need and desperation and loneliness ebb and flow as they will, giving the simple comfort of his presence.

Sometimes he tells him about the loop, sometimes not. It doesn’t seem to make much difference to Rodney. Even when he explains nothing, just walks up to him and kisses him, Rodney kisses him back just as hungrily as ever.

And when they’re not fucking, they’re talking. He learns that Rodney has always wanted to learn to paint. He misses his cat (no, really. It’s not funny.) The one person on the base he is most afraid of is Elizabeth, because he secretly suspects she might be smarter than he is.

John tells him about why he doesn’t talk to his family, and about how out of place he always felt in the military. That he likes turkey sandwiches because they’re what his college roommate made for him when he first left home and had to learn to get by on not much money.

Each day, he learns more about Rodney and shares more about himself. And then the loop resets, and he has to walk into the lab and see Rodney regard him coolly and say, “Sheppard,” like that’s all they are to each other.

He misses him, and that sounds insane because he's spent practically every waking hour with the man for what must have been weeks. But he is moving forward and Rodney is staying still. Every time the loop resets, they drift further apart.

-

He stops sleeping with Rodney.

-

He gets back to work.

He pulls up the city sensor data and brings it to the lab.

“Here, look. You said before there was a radiation spike.”

Rodney drums his fingers against the tablet. “Yeah, there is. And it looks,” he squints, “sort of familiar.”

“What could cause that?”

“A million things. Radioactive materials. Black holes. Coronal mass ejections. Lightning, if there’s enough of it.”

“Wait, wait wait.” Something important scratches at his mind. “Coronal mass ejections, as in, from stars?”

“Yes. The magnetic fields inside a star shift as material moves in its interior, and when a prominence is formed and collapsed, the star releases a burst of plasma.”

He snaps his fingers. “That’s it! The sun in this solar system, we know it’s periodically unstable, right? And it’s even more active than usual right now.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

He thinks of the arcs of plasma he saw as he dove the jumper into the sun’s corona and decides against trying to explain that. “It’s not important. But we know the stargate has sent Earth teams through time when the wormhole passed too close to a coronal mass ejection, right? What if our stargate had the same problem?”

“That might send whoever was traveling through the gate through time, but it wouldn’t make time loop.” A light flickers in Rodney’s eyes. “Oh! Oh! Unless that’s why the gate failed. It tried to send an outgoing wormhole at the exact moment that the sun’s activity peaked. When the wormhole hit the coronal mass ejection, it bounced back to its origin, carrying its energy with it. And that would mean…” He taps frantically at his tablet. “Right! That spike of radiation is the effect of the outgoing and incoming wormholes colliding, forming a resonance wave. All that energy is forming ripples which must be throwing us through spacetime.”

“Great! So can you fix it?”

Rodney blinks. “I’m not even sure I can model what’s happening, let alone fix it. The mathematical equations alone will be weeks of work.”

“We don’t have weeks, Rodney. We have -” he checks his watch, “- just over half an hour before the loop resets and we lose everything.”

Despair starts crawling up his spine, but he shouldn’t have underestimated the sheer stubbornness of Rodney McKay.

“Well then.” Rodney sits him down and shoves a notebook and pen into his hands. “Looks like you’re going to have to learn some math and help me to remember.”

-

This is his routine now: Wake up in his quarters, run to the lab, talk Rodney through the problem as fast as he can, get lectured on astrophysics and mathematical modelling until he feels like his head is going to explode, repeat.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

-

He gets the basics down quickly but there are still pages and pages of math for them to solve, and nowhere close to enough time to figure it out in one loop. So he learns, and remembers, and does his best to save himself.

Rodney explains it well when he’s not being a jerk, and John starts to understand why he likes this work.

He hasn’t done this much math since college, and it’s not as awful as he remembers. There’s a kind of beauty to it, actually, a balance of all the relevant variables quantified and described, their relationships mapped into symbols and equations, the logically clarity of a necessarily true fact.

“See, this variable here, this represents the duration of the outgoing wormhole.” Rodney taps the whiteboard. John stares at the way his hands dance over the numbers. “And this one here, this is the distance between Lantea and its sun...”

Each loop, he learns a little more. Eventually, he understands the equations Rodney has been scribbling for the past god knows how many loops.

Now they just need to actually figure out how to solve them.

-

“That equation is wrong.”

“What? No it isn’t. I worked that out myself.” Rodney is glaring at him like he insulted his mother.

“I’m telling you, Rodney. Look.” John uses the cuff of his shirt to wipe out a corner of the equations scribbled on the whiteboard. “This is assuming we’re still operating in base 10, but we know the gate operating system is partially in base 16.” He adds in the corrected figures as he goes. “So we need to convert it to polynomial here and here before we can compare the output to the data from our solar radiation readings, then we can figure out the coronal mass ejection’s effects on both the gate and our computers simultaneously and allow for the difference.”

Rodney is squinting at the whiteboard. “That’s… Huh. That might actually be right.” He steps closer, running his fingers beneath the figures John has changed. Then he wheels and rounds on John.

“You,” he says, pointing a finger at John’s chest. “You are a genius.”

And then he’s grabbing John’s shirt and hauling him close and kissing him, wild and messy and with great enthusiasm.

And John had told himself he wasn’t going to do this any more but this is different, Rodney had kissed him this time, and with the way Rodney’s hands are scrabbling at every piece of skin he can reach he doesn’t think he could stop himself anyway.

Afterwards, once they’ve wasted far too much of this loop to get any productive work done, John tells Rodney about all the times that they’ve done this before, and that this is the first time Rodney has been the one to instigate it.

Rodney shrugs. “What can I say? A man who knows his math really gets me going.”

John hides a smile. “You only want me for my brain, huh?”

“Yes,” Rodney says, like that’s obvious. He breaks into a grin and runs a hand through John’s hair. “And the hair, of course. That’s very important.”

“Mmhmm.” John stretches lazily across the sofa in the corner of the lab. “And the rest of me?”

Rodney gives him a sly look. “I guess that’s alright too.”

And then Rodney is giggling as John wrestles him to the sofa as well, and he’s all flying elbows and poking fingers until John gets him pinned beneath him, both of them sweaty and out of breath from laughter.

Oh, thinks John. So this is what happiness feels like. He’d almost forgotten.

-

The loop is about to end, though this one feels different.

They're lying squashed together on the too-small sofa, inelegantly draped around each other, when Rodney takes his hand. “You have to tell me,” he says. “We’re about to reset, and once we've fixed this and I've forgotten again, you have to tell me how you feel.”

His gut churns. It’s so much simpler to be together when he doesn’t have to think about the consequences.

“Promise me,” Rodney says. “It’s not fair that I should finally get what I’ve wanted for so long, and not be able to remember it.”

He thinks about how he feels each time Rodney is reset: the loss, the ache of it. He tries to imagine what it would be like to have those experiences erased entirely.

“Okay.” He squeezes Rodney’s hand. “I promise.”

-

“That’s it!” Rodney beams at the whiteboard, covered from top to bottom in dense equations. “I can’t believe we got that done so fast.”

John lets out a sound that might be considered a laugh.

“Ah.” Rodney looks at him sideways. “You’ve been working on this for a while, huh?”

“You could say that, yeah.”

“Well, good news. Now we’ve got the wormhole modeled, we can feed this data into the dialing device and reset the gate manually.”

“And that will stop the loop?”

“I sure as hell hope so, because it’s the only idea I’ve got.”

“Terrific.”

-

John makes a conscious effort to stop his leg from bouncing anxiously as Rodney loads up their data into the dialing device.

He checks his watch. It’s three minutes to eight.

This is going to work. Right? This has to work. He’s put everything he has into this fix and he honestly doesn’t know if he can cope with looping one single time more.

(He’s thought that so many times before. And yet, here he is, still, willing or not.)

“We need to get the timing just right,” Rodney informs the gate techs. He’s taken over the gate room and thankfully the entire base has learned not to get in McKay’s way when he has that steely look in his eye. “We need to engage the program at exactly the moment the incoming wormhole is set to arrive.”

Two minutes to eight. Adrenaline surges, and he wants to run or to fight, but there’s nothing he can do except watch the furrow in Rodney’s brow and the agitated tapping of his fingers against the Ancient keypad.

“Alright, Chuck, ready on my command.”

Rodney’s got this, he tells himself. They’ve got this.

One minute to eight.

“Now!” Chuck sits up straighter, focused on the instruments in front of him. Rodney taps at the keypad, attention narrowed down to the rapidly scrolling code on his screen.

The lights flicker, spluttering overhead and casting the gate room in an eerie disjointed light. The gate starts to rotate, the screeching noise louder than usual, the illuminated symbols seeming to glow more brightly.

There is a moment of absolute stillness, and then -

The whoosh of the outgoing wormhole connecting is the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. He can get out, he can be free, he can live. He doesn't have to be alone any more.

Blood rushes to his head in great waves and makes him dizzy, like this might all be an illusion, like it might disappear at any moment.

He checks his watch. It's two minutes past eight.

He lets out a hysterical peal of laughter, staggers away from the gate controls, and passes out.

-

He wakes up not in his quarters. The antiseptic smell of the infirmary is the sweetest breath of fresh air.

Elizabeth insists he needs medical supervision, but there's no chance of keeping a hoard of curious scientists away from an oddity like the man who looped through time. So he's in an infirmary bed being gently grilled about the experience by Zelenka, who has apparently been elected their representative.

Elizabeth does her best to project an air of calm as she asks, "Is there any way to know how long we were looping for?"

Zelenka pushes his glasses up on the bridge of nose. "It is hard to say for certain, but extrapolating the current season based on the length of the days, we must have lost around six months."

"Six months?" Elizabeth turns to him, aghast. "John, I can't even imagine."

She means well, but he can't handle pity right now. He plays it off casually, with a wink and a smile. "Trust me, you don't want to." He swings his legs off the side of the bed and calls out to Carson. "Doc, I'm good to leave, right? Pretty sure I'm healthy as a horse, and I've given the research team plenty of material to work with."

Carson looks him over, takes in the weary lines of his shoulders, and eventually nods. He always was perceptive. "Aye, alright. But stop back in tomorrow for a checkup."

"Sure thing. Now if you'll all excuse me, I'm looking forward to a well deserved night off."

-

He is looking forward to a night off, but the very last place he wants to wake up tomorrow is in his quarters. He'd sooner sleep on one of the piers, or in the locker room, or on a hive ship. Anywhere but there.

But there's another option. Or at least, there might be. So he finds himself fidgeting outside Rodney's door.

The door opens while he's pacing back and forth in the corridor.

"Sheppard?' Rodney blinks at him. "I was just on my way to find you. Earlier you seemed… so I thought… well, this must have been hard for you. What are you doing in the hallway?"

He doesn't have an answer for that. Instead he considers.

Rodney's hair is mussed, the way it gets when he's been deep in thought and running his hands through it. His fingertips are pinching together, a hum of low-grade anxiety that surrounds him whenever he has to confront emotional situations. He's wearing an old grey hoodie, one of his favorites because it's soft, even though he thinks it makes him look dumpy (it doesn't. Or maybe it does, but it doesn't matter, because it's comfortable and warm and it smells like Rodney. John knows because he's stolen it tens of times. It's one of his favorites as well.)

John knows him, knows every part of him, and he's so close he could reach out and touch him, but he's a million miles away as well.

"... John? Do you want to come in?" Rodney's face pinches into a concerned frown. "We don't have to talk, if you'd rather not."

He could walk away. Turn on his heel and leave, never mention any of this, let the whole incident fade into obscurity. But he's so close to having what he wants: something new, something familiar, something beautiful.

He takes a breath. Here is his chance. Now or never.

"Actually, I think we should talk." He lets himself smile at the precious memory, one perfect moment crystallized like a diamond from months of crushing pressure. "I made a promise."

[frankthesnek]

Okay. In a hand to hand combat: Who would win between Rodney and Radek?

Okay so first off, I would pay to see that fight because it would be awkward as hell and hilarious!

We see Rodney training with Ronon (all of one time) so we know he's at least attempting to learn to defend himself, but we never see him actually implement it. Unless you count when he is hopped up on enzyme... but that was roid rage not skill so I don't count it. He also has the weight class advantage given that he is bulkier and more sturdily build that Radek.

But Radek...I don't know man. It might be the crazy hair or the accent or just that we don't know a lot about him, but I really feel like he's a wily little shit who would have some tricks up his sleeve. So my answer is Radek, he would win.

Pure speculation with nothing to really back it up other than my gut. I just feel like he would supries you in a fight.

Thanks for the ask friend 💜