#rodney and john are very much people who Do Not Discuss Emotions

[texasdreamer01]

:campfire-emoji: (cuz I can't get them up on my keyboard haha) for misit orare, ut venirem!

So my original plans for that fic was circulating around the tag "Friends to Lovers to Married" after an episode where Rodney McKay, uh, blew up a fair portion of a solar system mostly by accident.

...In his defense, he was trying to replace a faulty energy system that some people a long, long time ago had developed (think battery but not rechargeable) and he was feeling super guilty about getting some scientists working for him killed over some mistakes in the data (replacement attempt is also from the people from long, long time ago) and he was really pushing himself to Get It Right because they're technically in the middle of a war and really, really need that.

Unfortunately he gets rather ostracized for it, but John Sheppard (military commander and pseudo-canonical love interest, the other half of the McShep ship) gave him shit for it on top of the leader of the expedition (Elizabeth Weir, who... usually is rather indulgent on Rodney doing whatever science he wants but this time was Big Mad).

I was on track for this, being a sort of 5+1 kind of deal that digs up all of the little emotional underpinnings between Rodney and John and why both acted the way they did, but then I remembered the whole deal with Rodney being deathly allergic to citrus and how the mess hall... only served food with lemons (and presumably other citrus) in it for a while.

So now I have their other friend - and also team mate - Teyla being (rightfully) pissed off about this, and Ronon (also friend, also team mate) is involved and now I feel like this is going to be still a #Friends to Lovers to Married but kind of with a matchmaking tilt to it? I'm still in the middle of resolving that plot point and I'm not sure where it's gonna end up (hopefully I can get it back on track lol).

Initial summary that's probably gonna stay thrown-out:

They had learned, carefully, to ask.

[wonkyelk]

"If you won’t leave me" for the WIP ask game please :)

This one is my least in progress WIP, probably because it’s a more angsty look at John and Rodney’s relationship than I usually write - they slip easily into a sexual relationship but are struggling with the more emotional aspects.

Atlantis was incredible; it was science fiction writ large; it was a dream; it was a nightmare. Rodney had far too much to do and far too many dangers to navigate and far too many people to worry the hell about, to waste much time mooning over Major John ‘pain in my ass’ Sheppard, who came to his bed some nights, or dragged Rodney to his, but who never accepted an outright invitation, never talked about it, never acknowledged that they were more than friends; who had a strict ‘five minute afterglow and run’ schedule, at least as accurate as Rodney’s watch.

They always cuddled after, was the thing, John holding Rodney just hard enough to feel good and anchoring, without quite leaning over into painful; Rodney burrowing into his warmth like some small, soft animal, who’s been thrown amongst lions, and seeks a place of safety and peace.

It was Rodney’s favourite part, and that was saying something, because sex with Sheppard was like coming home, each and every time.

But then: Sheppard leaving without a word; casually teasing with an edge of bite; refusing even the slightest hint of discussion about what they meant to each other; flirting with anyone female, in the most awkward way, like he was told he had to do this, and always tried, but only ever got a C for effort. All of these things began feeling more and more like exile, until Rodney was living, romantically, in two worlds, each poles apart.

The title comes from Warren Zevon’s ‘If you won’t leave me, I’ll find somebody who will’. Hopefully I’ll get it out of limbo soon.

Thanks very much for the ask!