#i set myself the task
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@moe-broey THANK YOU!!! AND IM GLAD THE RUFFLES ARE APPRECIATED!!!đđđ
But seriously this is the highest compliment, because this is actively what Iâm trying to do when it comes to how I draw Kiran! I really want to convey how unabashedly charming this silly little tactician is. It helps explain how they keep the order intact on a social level and also why this keeps happening:
In retrospect, Alfonse never really stood a chance, did he?
Anyway I wonât lie, I did all this for the Loki bit. Please imagine that sheâs just off screen for all these outfits hitting that exact pose.
#Unironically had a very fun time drawing this set of characters all next to eachother#They all look so different from each other!!! Which is the main task I give myself in regards to a lot of the feh women#More body types letâs goooooooooo#ALSO. LOOK ME IN THE EYES. CAN YOU SEE WHAT IM COOKING WITH FJORMâS CRUSH ON KIRAN? CAN YOU SEE THE PIPELINE FROM THAT TO LESBIAN AWAKENING#Look if Intelligence Systems wonât let Fjorm go than Iâm going to start cooking with giving her a more long term arc#Maybe she hasnât told her brother sheâs dying. Maybe sheâs living with the dread that she gave up her life in order to stop Surtr#It was a worthwhile trade at the time but now she found reasons to keep going too little too late. People she wants to be there for.#And sheâs learning more about herself and what makes her happy. She wonât have a lot of time to pursue those things but she has to anyway#Like oughhhhh Fjorm I can write so many dialogue scenes with you#I am also cooking with Seidr but that has drawings attached to it so I will not go off about her here#feh#fire emblem heroes#fire emblem#feh loki#fe loki#feh nott#fe nott#feh seiĂ°r#fe seiĂ°r#feh fjorm#fe fjorm#feh kiran#fe kiran#feh summoner#fe summoner#kiran#feh seidr#FE seidr#art tag
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#i made such a big mess of my little tasks i set myself fr the night like everything tht could go wrong did#and im stressed and i still need to cut my hair and idk if i'm in right headspace to do it#and i might accidentally just cut all my hair off if i do something wrong but it was one of my tasks for tn so i need to do it#or i wont be able to get to sleep okay and ughhh idk why i set myself these tasks to do#i should just go to bed when im sleepy and not force myself to do things and use sleep as a reward
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finally completed the common rarity cookie set!
#yes i am still on this sysiphian task i have set myself#does gb look angry? you'd be astounded by how many comments i had to that effect at the last con i did#i assume its the hair swirls being mistaken for eyebrows but even then idk#anyway#flight's making things again#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#gingerbrave#strawberry cookie#wizard cookie#muscle cookie#angel cookie#beet cookie#ninja cookie
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I feel like 2023 has simultaneously been the best but also most panicky year I've had like...ever. I've never been so stressed and not stressed at the same time. everything is happening so much and everything includes nothing. I have experienced epic highs and lows this year like no other. I had a legitimate breakdown in January and cried myself to sleep more nights than I could count and then in mid April I felt unstoppable and was literally waking up every morning feeling like a kid on Christmas and then from that point on it's been an endless oscillation between "I have never felt better than I do right now in my whole life" and "my life is completely meaningless and I've never felt more trapped". my mental health has gotta be a completely even line at this point bc the extreme goodness and extreme sadness are cancelling each other out. things are just solidly OK right now. I'm doing a lot of things of varying importance and feeling really good about myself. it's more just like the state of existing right now is kind of difficult. but that's fine. I'm fine. everything is normal. my birthday is in three weeks and I'm not even excited about it what the heck (hell) is that about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ramblings#I accomplished none of the tasks I set for myself today so let's hope I don't feel bad about that in the morning#I truly love being an adult but my god the demons
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Moving out of concept art and into whatâs Actually Done! Showcased here are a couple expressions for both pets so far with their dialogue balloons - mostly pulled from NPC references, but I did get a screenshot of my pet in-game using it in reply, not just in Kinzchat! So cute <3
Theyâre both introducing themselves here with the names Iâve given them, but I really wanted the process to be as Webkinz-like as possible, with a few extras :)
Which started with being able to pick pet pronouns! Thinking about it now, Webkinz doesnât ask for player pronouns, does it? :0 But I wanted that to be an option too! It was...something of a process to go from one set of adjustable pronouns to three, especially as I havenât played with any Ghosts that give you the option to assign both the character(s)â and playerâs pronouns! I had to give it a fair bit of thought of what to check against and how to not have them interfere with or overwrite each other (which did happen early on lol), but I got it! Only took a couple hours of frustrated-sleepily hammering away haha
These screenshots were taken pretty much back-to-back - the only thing changed here is what shell is being used, and shell-checking has come in soooo clutch here ahh, thank goodness ⼠Many and big thank-yous again to @cherryistiredââ for helping me troubleshoot menu shell-switching! Exactly what I needed, am very grateful :D
My original concept sketch of this process was perhaps a little overconfident in what I could accomplish for my first time playing in code lol; I have seen custom pronoun-setting though! And I think I probably could do that, but multiple pronouns... Again, I think I could, but... The name of the game was limiting my scope (lol) to see how many Different things I could implement in short order, so Iâll gladly take my three sets of pronouns and pet names vs. player name and go haha
Itâs also a bit funny to look back on this little Diamond - I really havenât drawn her much! Kind of loosely following Webkinzâ style, her face looks especially silly I think haha
Iâve also got my main menu balloon looking rather fabulous imo ⨠Technically thereâs two - More and Back - and most of the features are Very Much in the Coming Soon To A Ghost Near You phase lol, but theyâre all {bracketed} up to be filled in as I get their assets made :D Thereâs still a few placeholder pieces here and there - especially since I havenât gotten to inter-Ghost communication just yet. Everything in its own time!
I ended up having a lot-a lot of fun with naming and renaming, I went a little silly with Just How Many reactions the pets could have to their names haha
Theyâll refuse to be named after any of the Hosts directly, and theyâll give you a side-eye if the name is Close To but not Quite a match haha
The mischievous expression has gotten an awful lot of use already! Although Iâll probably change the âNu-uh!â expression to something else once I have an alternative that fits better - I need that gradient-to-mad expression set so bad!
And although they wonât accept NPC names, you can name yourself after a Host, and theyâll react! :D There really is so much flexibility for Easter Eggs like this ahh, itâs fun!
All told, I ended up playing the most in Bootend, Menu, Nameteach (hgh), and String, although Iâm realizing now that maybe a lot of the stuff I put in String belongs in Word...? Itâs all been OnFunctions anyhow, and itâs organized in a way that makes sense to me but is perhaps not as intended lol - nothing says I canât go back in and move some stuff around, as long as it continues to function properly haha. Iâve kept my error log neat and tidy!! As many times as Iâve broken something, Iâve fixed it thereafter! :D Itâs a very satisfying process âŞ
#My art#Ghostkinz#Diamond#Rocky#Webkinz#Ukadevlog#Probably the last one for the time being! I've moved on to the next Monthly Project so that's taking up my focus for the time being#Though there is more concept art for some of the unfinished features so I mean... I Could make another lol#And if I may have possibly chosen a monthly task I'm fairly sure I can finish before the end of the month so I can back to a bit of coding#Well I mean that would just be serendipitous I'm just giving myself a little extra wiggle room who knows what will happen#Lol#It really has been hard to Actively set down in favour of other things but I said I'd work on it for a month and that's that!#It was an enriching experiment and I can come back to it once some other things are in order âŞ#Much better to leave a project on an ''I can't wait to come back!'' than a ''Oh thank goodness I don't have to anymore'' haha#It really is something I'd like to see through; for my sake so I can actually have the satisfaction of Finishing Something#Constantly frustrated by my ideas not being in the state they deserve to be released it hh#I can see them in my mind's eye! They're beautiful and wonderful! I want everyone to see what I see!#And I know I /can/ do it!!!! I just - like here - tend to underestimate the scope#But now that I've given it my best go in this time frame I have a better understanding of what I'm up against#Of course I couldn't make something simple as my first go 'round lol - even simplifying as much as I can here it's still Very lol#But I genuinely am cutting corners so I don't stagnate in ''No it HAS to be like THIS!'' - since that's where a lot of my projects trip#It doesn't have to be perfect - it has to be Done Enough - and I fully intend to release it once it is#I have a lot of lofty hopes for this project - but if I can capture that electrifying Have To Make feeling into it#To keep pressing on and not give up and keep learning and growing - that's what I very very much want the most <3#Gonna keep at it >:3c Gonna keep learning and implementing! And gonna finish it!!!!!!
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Ever since i saw the thongTM i could not stop thinking about this đł
#käärijä#häärijä#khäärijä calendar#diary bit coming up in the tags bear with me since this is#also my diary kind of; this blog#this thing has fought me every step of the way - and it shows i know#but i needed at least /some/ tiny little crumb of standing up for myself against my own defeatist thoughts#not just drawing. just. in general there are so many tiny and medium obstacles to accomplishing tasks that i just feel#like such an idiot for not just getting rid of the obstacles and moving on#at the same time i know how very unfair this kind of thinking is towards me since i#literally have the neurodivergence of cannot set priorities for my life or coordinate several things unless under strong duress#and then i feel sad for not even living my life unapologetically#((and disappointing jere :') - you have not read this that would be way WAY too embarrassing for me)#and yes i know you shouldn't trust yourself after - what was it? - 19:00? Well. If I didn't have to struggle until 3 pm to get through#the wall of anxious paralysis we wouldn't have that problem but here we are#anyway. off to bed. for what it's worth#got to figure out how to electronically validate my ID :''') and/or call the job center - fun!#my own stuff
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#âi have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scrollâ#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like âyeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term igâ#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being âscrolling but i don't hate itâ#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just đ#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just đ#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just đ in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer âwhat do you do in your free timeâ cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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lemon iâm sorry to complain to you but what the fuck happened to this fandom??? this is worse than the two year hiatus, because at least then people were writing and drawing. now the only engagement anyone gets is running a ship poll or posting bait (character A sucks and if you like them youâre a pervert!!) i canât believe iâm saying this but i miss the driftmark discourse or the arguments about how old aemond actually is. the only people left talking about this canon (book OR show) are the ones who want to be so loud they drown out everybody else
yeah, it's been pretty bleak around these parts â ď¸ S2 was just so bad that no one has much interest in even riffing off the 2.3 ideas that would have been interesting had they been developed by someone with actual writing ability
i think we're just gonna have to wait it out until the dunk & egg show tbh đ¤ˇââď¸i'm fairly certain that the fandom wars will be ignited dramatically when the blackfyre rebellions are brought up and bloodraven makes an appearance.... the fandom will be back to being absolutely insufferable
so idek which is better: having a quiet time to re-engage with the current material at one's own pace or going through rabid brain-melting discourse again
#ask#anon#fandom tomfoolery#i've personally been a little busy but i have an entire queue to clear#as an admin task i've set for myself
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the deeply dispiriting feeling of being told that a handful of friendly strangers in a shared community would like to be part of a group you've proposed, only to hear from none of them and still be the only person in the discord you created when invites are about to expire almost a week later, leaving you paranoid and wondering whether you set it up wrong or just haven't received any kind of acknowledgement because they saw the work you put in setting it up and all realized you are way too much
#the odds that all of these people decided instead to form their own group and not tell me? highly unlikely#but with no other explanation...yeah#(i was trying to create a reading club for other people similar to my adhdness who want company/encouragement#in doing more reading like we did when we were younger#and setting up my very first discord server was kind of daunting but i did it with channels and intro posts and all#...and it's just been crickets#but because the people interested are on a substack i love rather than people i've spoken to before#i can't just ask why everyone's ignoring me#(lol)#cuz my total lack of patience isn't their problem#but having figured out a way to help myself read more by making it social#--just like how i've learned that making other things like writing social helps me stay on task--#only to have no one to be social with...definitely has me a little sad)#randomness#adhd
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this is mister john whimper
also the exact same fox from the other meme
#so after making the a heem heem whimper fox image at 16#i decided you guys needed a prequel#but I wasn't expecting to find the exact same fox#this was really cool to me#it seems he was fucked up on purpose#this actually has completed a task I set for myself after making the original#which was to find out why he's so fucked up#a heem heem whimper#silly#silly goofy mood#fox#bad taxidermy#but probably not
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ăMizuchi Takeoveră, a puzzle game I made for the Touhou Station Jam 2024, is out now! It's a pathfinding puzzle game that challenges you to find the best path to possess Reimu. Play it on the link above and don't forget to check out the other games too.
#Touhou#Touhou Game Jam#Touhou Station Game Jam 2024#ćąćšă˛ăźă ă¸ăŁă #OOF the anxiety I felt when I found an export-only bug 10 minutes before the deadline...#But fortunately I was able to solve it#And I'm happy because I finished most of tasks I had set to myself!#illusory bread post tag
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its been a long time since i found a game that had me excited for whats to come
this is a me thing that im talking about below... usually when i play games, its mainly about it preoccupying my brian with tasks and goals. this is why i gravitate towards sim and management games! to me thats whats enjoyable
i feel like its rare that i just play something just cause its fun to me if that makes sense. and i think infinity nikki is managing to do that like im not progressing through the story super quickly and kind of just letting myself explore, dress up and take pictures at my own pace and im really hoping it stays like this for me for a long time
#this doesnt apply to VNs btw i play those purely for story like 95% of the time lol#im mainly talking about games with actual moving gameplay if that makes sense#anyways im really excited for houses#im gonna fill mine with plushies if possible#but like seriously i feel the last time i felt like this was...#probably when i was a child and i first really started getting into mmos#stuff like toontown and pixie hollow and neopets online etc etc#maybe its just a me getting older thing but like...i really do just get into doing the tasks and consider that enough#and im not saying i dont like doing tasks and like setting goals for myself (i like these types of games)#or that i dont play for other reasons too like story#its just nice to switch it up sometimes and just be in the experience and not thinking about what i need to do next#and tbf there have been times when im dragged into game for task reasons when thats not the point of the game!#unfortunately ffx1v was one of those games for me#so i didnt see the point of paying monthly you know#honestly if it wasnt subscription based id probably play more but id like touch the game once or twice a week to make progress#or play with friends#since i wasnt really getting pulled into the world#then for time princess its become more about doing dailies and collecting stuff#my otome gachas i still have...i dont even read the stories anymore i just log in to complete dailies so i can collect cards#tw/st im there for the story but it still falls into me mainly logging in everyday to complete tasks and lvl up cards#since im not always in the mood for reading the story#i think with nikki im gonna have to definitely let myself not log in EVERYDAY to do dallies#once the initial exitement goes away#i should just play when the mood strikes so it doesnt become another game i log in to everyday for those dailies#im not too worried about it because like i said im not desperately trying to get through the story and collect stuff#and im fine getting whatever clothes i happen to get while playing#but still that daily stuff can become tedious and is part of the reason i dropped d33pspace even though i liked it#if ur not careful before u know it a game becomes a chore#and fomo has an easier time setting in#infinity nikki
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So I havenât written anything in a month
#Whoopsie#maybe Iâll post some polls to gather motivation#Actually Iâm having a minor surgery next week and Iâm counting on my post op drug induced to inspire me#Which sounds like a joke but actually#Iâve ended up with some strangely good vibes post anesthesia#Also Iâve been in a very melodramatic intense poetic sort of mood for like three months#which tends to produce work that might be a little more than my audience would like Lmao#which I know I should write what I want yadayda#but when I post something I do want it to have interaction just because itâs very disheartening if it doesnât#plus I publish work with the intention of it being enjoyed by other people so if I do write something more intense I need to find a way to-#-set it up so it makes sense to the reader which is sort of a daunting task#when I come up with a scene I have the ancient well of my brain to set up. Decades or daydreaming as foreshadowing if you would#so posting something knowing people likely wonât read it feels like shooting myself in the foot#The little things I could write are also unlikely to get interaction. Which would make very sad which in turn would make it hard to write-#things that do get interaction. So those things in would sit around rotting which would make updating them more daunting#which in turn would make me sad. Itâs a cycle
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why do i get the productivity and organizational motivations at night when i should be getting the sleep motivation
#having the urge to start scheduling my days/setting up daily tasks for myself/planning for future tasks#meanwhile its 11pm and im getting up at 6:30am#voluntarily i should mention - im going to the library to do work bc my wifi at home is absolute shit#and i wanna go early bc otherwise im gonna sit in bed rotting and i dont want that#anywho tomorrow im gonna be doing some mandatory reporter training đ its around two hours long đ#and testing out scrivener!! i got the free trial (which. btw. im so glad they only count the days you actually use for the trial)#like last week and just havent had the time/energy to try it out#excited about that!#as well as taking the bus again ironically#its been too long lol#anywho#amber's shit you can ignore
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How do I explain the ways in which the bill origins fic 'A Romance of Many Dimensions' by haley3 rewired my brain without needing to give paragraphs upon paragraphs of context. The fic is something like 200,000 words long. Almost every single good moment calls back to things that are set up earlier in the fic
#godsrambles#girl help 'the colors in our universe are the same as the ones in his home dimension because our universe is made out of a piece of bill'#makes NO sense without adding way more context#not to speak of 'bill is obsessed with ford because he can Feel the same cosmic thread connecting them as the one that drew him towards-#-meeting his henchmaniacs which makes him convinced against all odds that ford is gonna join him'#and the long beginning is set in flatland. its what finally got me to read the book flatland#and now I will literally think to myself 'its not that i Have to do x or y tasks. i GET to do x or y tasks isnt that great'#'i get to live in a physical form that experiences so many vivid thoughts and sensations while on bills favorite planet in the multiverse'#and i will be like 'why should i drag my feet about learning this or doing that. bill was literally trapped in a 2d world-'#'and KILLED to be able to experience a life as 3d and colorful as the one im in'#'and just like bill was so desperate to learn and see and do Everything that the axolotl gave him a ton of power so he could do that.'#'i Also want to learn and do and see everything i possibly can. and i literally HAVE the chance to do that'#'so i'd better start actually Trying to do and see and learn everything i can'#and then i brush my teeth slightly more often or whatever#fucking unhinged and ridiculous way of getting myself to do tasks#the events of this fic arent even my headcanon for bills powers and backstory. i just think its neat!#and now my brain has been permanently rewired by a got dam fan fic.#anyways sorry for all the spoilers but i mean. i doubt many folks would decide to read a fic that long without being intrigued by spoilers#most frustrating thing is that the hard hitting spoilers SEEM understandable without context.#but i promise there is a lot of context missing that makes it make sense why they are good plot points and not just weird random happenings#edit: its 200000 words not 600000. how did I misread that
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I wish I'd actually internalized this about ttrpgs when I was younger (especially in regards to d&d) but I think you should never be expected to make your own campaign setting. You're no more Morally Pure or Righteous for making your own setting than just running in one that already exists. If you otherwise like an existing setting but don't vibe with some parts then you can just tweak it and make your own spin. You don't have to build everything from ground up.
Don't be like me and abandon 5 different half-baked settings I didn't have fun making over the course of ~7 years, all of which were never played in. When I could've used all that time I spent to just run in the forgotten realms lmao.
#this may seem like a super obvious thing to say but LMFAO I did not internalize it for foreverrrrr#this is mainly a post for me because I'm going to run a 4e campaign hopefully soon#and excising myself from the subconscious mindset of being an incomplete fake DM because I don't have my own setting#is a surprisingly difficult task for me LMAO#I'll still probably make my own at some point but I'd rather it come from a place of inspiration rather than obligation#by the way ''tweak it and make your own spin'' in my case#Is that I'm making Vhaeraun a bigger player in my fr games#Shocking move from the guy with the username 'darkseldarine' I know
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