#romantic 4x5

[djs-sideblog-for-pog-trains]

James and his ballroom dancing teacher

a rewrite of this post/ficlet from 2021 :] and a partner to this art piece i posted yesterday.

wordcount: 8.9k words

relationships: romantic 4x5, implied background 2x3.

characters: ALL HUMANISED James, Gordon, Thomas, Edward, Henry, Percy, Flying Scotsman, Topham Hatt (who have talking rolls, everyone else is implied to be there or potentially name-dropped)

tags/warnings: brief mention of alcohol, kissing, anxiety/spiralling thoughts. Can't think of anything else.

Kind of hurt/comfort but mostly just emotional fluff. A slowburn oneshot, if you will.

Full fic under the cut ^-^

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The anniversary of Sir Topham Hatt taking over from his father, (also Sir Topham Hatt) is a scant few months away. James won’t lie he’s been eyeing up the calendar – he’s been sensing a good opportunity – so he’s spent the past week or two voicing his …wonderings as to whether the Fat Controller will throw some sort of event, surely he should, he’s earnt one by now.

Thomas finally looks up, and eyes James over their mediocre breakroom cups of tea.

“You just want an excuse to dress up, don’t you?” he drawls, even as he idly stirs his tea, the spoon clinking against the cup.

James sticks his nose in the air even as he flushes just a little.

“And what if I do?” he huffs. “I have a lovely dress-coat that I ordered all the way from Manchester, and I haven’t even had a chance to wear it yet! A ball would be perfect! When was the last time we ever had a ball?”

Thomas stares into his tea.

“I don’t think we’ve ever had a ball,” he says, then he frowns. “Well, maybe when the queen came. But, y’know. That was the queen.”

“I’m just saying, we should have one,” James says, waving his hands. “I mean, even besides all that, surely Sir Topham Hatt deserves one. It’s been a long haul.”

Thomas rolls his eyes, but he does nod.

“You have a point,” he says. “You could ask him. Or are you hoping the gossip will reach him first?”

James laughs. “You know me too well,” he says. “Oop, it’s 1:40, my next train’s in five minutes. See you later, puffball!”

“Bye, bootlace,” Thomas calls back as James rises from his seat and hurries away.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

It seems James’ plan has worked. Within the week, murmurs are already spreading about a ball. Hatt even sends out a letter of interest, to which actually most everyone replies with enthusiasm.

“Sir, would you let us go to the mainland to get appropriate formalwear?” James asks, eventually, when their paths cross at Knapford. “It would be a shame if we couldn’t dress to impress – the opportunity for such things comes so rarely. It’d be a real treat.”

Topham eyes him knowingly, but laughs and tugs at the lapels of his coat as he thinks.

“I have to admit, you raise a good point, James,” he nods. “I can’t let you all go at once, but… Hm. Perhaps I will organise some sort of schedule within the coming month.”

James beams. “Oh, thank you sir!”

“Before you get too excited,” Hatt smiles wryly, “Go take your next train.”

The clock overhead in the station chimes 10am. James flinches, before he nods at Hatt and hurries away.

It’s fine. He counts this as a win.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

After work today, James ends up walking home with Edward. Not that they do this often, but, well, they only live a couple flats down from each other anyway. And besides! James has a favour he needs to ask as unnaturally as possible.

“Ugh,” he starts. “The ball coming up, I’m so nervous.”

“Nervous?” Edward repeats. “That’s hardly like you, James.”

“But I don’t know how to dance,” James complains, shooting Edward a kind of look.

Edward shakes his head, frowning in fond confusion.

“Now that’s a lie,” he says. “I’ve seen you tap, James.”

“But that’s not ballroom dancing,” James stresses. “I don’t know how to- say, to waltz. I can’t show up to a real, fancy ball not knowing how to waltz.”

And Edward lets out a little snort now that he’s catching on, his smile slowly growing and his eyebrow slowly raising.

“Not like you,” James finally lays down his honey trap. “I remember seeing you dance, once, Edward, you were wonderful.”

“And you want me to teach you.”

James clasps his hands, grinning. “Yes!” he exclaims.

“No,” says Edward.

“Ah! Why not?!”

Edward laughs, and keeps walking even as James stops, putting his hands on his hips dramatically as he pouts at the back of Edward’s head.

“I need you!” James calls. “Edward, it’s my time of need!”

“Uh huh,” Edward says, not looking back and not stopping.

Eventually, James is forced to rush to catch up, and he quickly manages to fall back in step with Edward.

“But I need a teacher,” he pleads again. “Edward, I don’t want to make a fool of myself!"

"You could have fooled me,” Edward laughs, before he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Look, if you really want a good teacher, why don’t you ask Gordon? He taught me everything I know.”

James stops dead again – but this time, he has a much more different, far more flustered expression on his face. Edward stops this time, too, a few paces ahead of James, and looks back at him with a knowing smile.

“Do ask nicely though, hm?” he tacks on. “You wouldn’t want Gordon to turn you down, would you?”

James’ flush only deepens.

“Sod off,” he finally says.

“Mm, this is my house,” Edward replies, smiling, and James realises he has in fact walked Edward all the way home – past his own place, too. “I think it’s you who may have to sod off.”

James flushes redder.

Edward laughs at him, in that fond knowing way of his that’s almost more infuriating than anything else, and waves goodbye as he heads up the path to his flat.

James balls his fists, before he lets out a hissing breath between his teeth, and walks himself home while he definitely, totally, does not stew over ask Gordon.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

On Tuesdays, he has a small overlap with Gordon at Knapford at 10am.

So James is already loitering on the station platform as Gordon hops down from his engine, and Gordon spots him leaning on one of the pillars, attempting to look as casual as possible.

“Oh!” he says. “Hello there, little James.”

James hopefully manages to control his expression. He hasn’t decided if he is annoyed by the ‘little’ or if it’s grown on him, because Gordon has managed to make it sound …endearing, nowadays. Though James is, uh, may be imagining that bit. Probably.

“Hi,” he replies.

“…Were you waiting for me?” Gordon asks, and he draws in closer, pausing a good metre away and putting one hand in his pocket, resting his weight over one hip, and it’s not fair, because he looks so good and he cuts such an imposing figure in his work uniform that James has to focus to get through his sentence.

“Yes, actually,” James says, straightening up from where he was leaning against the station pillar. “A little bluebird told me you can dance.”

To James’ surprise, Gordon actually… stiffens a little. James watches his expression close up just a fraction, almost imperceptibly so if James didn’t happen to know the minutia of Gordon’s facial expressions well by this point.

“…What of it?” Gordon asks, folding his arms. He sounds somewhat… miffed.

James clasps his hands behind his back and smiles as brightly as he can.

“Teach me.”

“No.”

James pouts. “Please?”

“No.” Gordon repeats, more out of instinct, before he sighs, and looks down dolefully at James. “…Are you going to drop this, at all?”

“No,” James says sweetly. “Teach me?”

Really, James hopes Gordon will say yes without too much hounding. H-he does like the idea of learning off of Gordon. Whether Gordon denies it to not, he does carry himself in his day-to-day life with the grace of poise of a dancer. Now Edward’s mentioned it, James isn’t sure how he hasn’t noticed sooner.

A-and, well, really, he trusts Gordon. Gordon will make fun of him to his face, but he probably wouldn’t tattle on James’ potential two left feet to everyone else. And James doesn’t really want to… broadcast that he’s having to learn these things. Or something. He doesn’t know, it’s probably all a bit silly anyway.

Gordon tips his head back for a moment, and sighs heavily.

“Okay,” he says.

“Now, I know that you don’t-!” James cuts himself off. “Oh. Um. Thank you.”

“We’ll talk about this later,” Gordon says. “Catch up with me after work, if you’re serious.”

“I’m dead serious!” James clasps his hands. “I am.”

“Well then,” Gordon says, as he nods at James before walking past him, to go get some morning tea or something, probably. “That’s that, then.”

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Gordon catches him after work, his expression somewhat intense as he grabs James’ arm and his attention. James pauses, looking up at him.

“Oh,” he says, “yes?”

“Tonight,” Gordon says, voice low, not far off murmuring into James’ ear. “Are you willing to start tonight?”

James lights up. “Yes!” he says, though he does his best to mirror Gordon’s hushed tone. “Where? When?”

Gordon snorts, amused, and pats his left trouser pocket knowingly.

“Hatt gave me a key to the ballroom they’ll be using,” he says conspiratorially. “We will practice there.”

James smiles, bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement.

“…And, I was thinking after dark,” Gordon says softly. “…Just to, shall we say, preserve our dignity.”

James flushes a little, despite himself.

“What,” he says, “you think I’m going to be that bad?”

Gordon laughs, and lets James’ arm go. He also doesn’t answer the question.

“How’s 11?” he asks instead.

“…pm?”

“Yes.”

“…Gordon.”

“…10?”

James closes his eyes for a moment. Well, if Gordon is really that embarrassed to be found with him, then fine.

“We can do 11,” he says tiredly. “You’re the one with the earlier trains, anyway.”

Gordon snorts, and nods. He gives James the address.

“Do you have dancing shoes?” he asks, as James begins to walk away.

“I got some recently,” James says, waving his hand. “I only had tap shoes before, and I didn’t think that’d quite work out.”

Gordon laughs again, before he nods at James, seemingly satisfied.

“See you later,” he says, finally raising his voice back to his normal speaking register, before he turns on his heel and strides away.

James takes a moment to massage his temple. That was weird. That was weird, right? He’s not going nuts?

“…That was weird,” comments Thomas from across the room. “What on earth were you talking about?”

“Ah!” James practically jumps out of his skin, and jolts around, glaring at his coworker. “How long have you been there?!”

“Not that long,” Thomas says, as he pulls on his coat. “But long enough to see that was kind of weird. What did he want?”

“He’s doing a favour for me,” James says, before he shakes his head and starts to walk. Thomas falls into pace beside him, head tilting in curiosity, waiting for an explanation. “…Privately.”

“Ooh,” Thomas teases. “You finally told him?”

“What?!” James goes red despite himself, and gives Thomas a shove. “You’re delusional. There’s nothing to tell. Shut up.”

“Uh huh.”

“Shut up!”

James speeds up, hoping it’ll make Thomas leave him alone. It notably does not. In fact, Thomas tails him the entire way back to his flat, asking leading questions the whole while, and James has to slam the bloody door closed in the prat’s face until Thomas finally leaves him alone. And James can hear Thomas’ laughter through the door as he walks away.

James takes the moment to let his back thump against the door and to cover his face, screaming into his hands a little bit, just for fun. This is… James needs a lie down, or something.

He also needs to find his dancing shoes before tonight.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

James trudges up to the hall, his bag with his shoes in it thrown over his shoulder, his coat thrown over top plain, casual clothes he doesn’t usually let people see him wear – he likes to be well presented at all times, but tonight he also needs to be comfortable enough to dance.

He’s so nervous. What if he can’t get it? What if Gordon gives up on him? What if this ruins their friendship? The building is dark, did James get the right time? The right place? He feels ill. Why couldn’t Edward have just said yes? If it turns out Gordon has stood him up, James is blaming Edward.

James tries the door handle. It’s …unlocked. He lets out a sigh of relief and slips inside.

…Wow. This room is huge. And that may be a stupid thing to say, considering it’s a ballroom, but James pauses, wide-eyed, by the door as he takes in the space. He didn’t even know the NWR had one of these.

And down the other end, Gordon is already there and waiting, though he’s lit a few candles, filling his end of the hall with a thin, watery yellow light, and he’s setting up… a tape deck?

“You still use cassettes?” James calls, and Gordon looks up at him. James hitches his bag up over his shoulder again as he crosses the room. “Way to join the modern world, Gordon.”

“What, would you have rather I brought a record player?” Gordon replies, as he inserts a cassette. “Besides, these are the tapes I learnt off. Figured it was a good place to start.”

James has to sit on the floor to swap his shoes over. Looking up at Gordon, who is still poking at the tape deck, James… drinks him in, a little. Gordon’s down to just his white button-up shirt, and he’s undone his tie and top two buttons, not to mention he’s rolled up his sleeves. James does his best not to stare at Gordon’s forearms. Gordon lets the tape start playing, and a waltz James doesn’t know the name of fills the air.

“Are you ready?”

James jumps, and shakes his head to clear it, and finishes lacing up his shoes. He rises to his feet, shedding his coat, and he puts his things to the side as Gordon watches him.

“…I don’t think I’ve never seen you in a just a t-shirt before,” Gordon comments, as James hurries back to stand in front of him.

And James looks down at himself, flushes, and wonders briefly if he should put his coat back on. It’s a long-sleeve t-shirt (red, of course), because he’s not about to let Gordon inspect his scars. It does have a lower neckline, showing the hints of some, though, and it leaves the scars on the back of his hands visible.

Gordon… doesn’t comment on any of that, though his eyes graze over them briefly.

“Feel honoured,” James jokes instead, shivering despite himself. “I don’t usually dress down.”

To his relief, Gordon laughs, and holds out his right hand to James.

“Then I do feel honoured indeed,” he says. “Now, lets begin before it gets any later, hm?”

James puts his left hand in Gordon’s, before he tries to play it cool as Gordon puts his other hand on James’ back. …Um, huh. His hands are big. And warm. James focusses on looking Gordon in the eye instead of reacting to the feeling of Gordon’s hands on him.

“Put your hand on my shoulder,” says Gordon. “And don’t lean your arm on mine. You should be poised.”

James blinks, but nods, words escaping him, and he strikes the pose he thinks he’s supposed to – he can copy what he’s seen on Strictly Come Dancing at least this much.

“Good,” Gordon says. “Now, we’ll start with the waltz.”

James… James actually gets his head around it far quicker than he expected, which he is thoroughly relieved by. He does have his eyes glued to their feet, and he sometimes steps backwards when he shouldn’t, but, successfully, he hasn’t stood on Gordon’s toes yet.

Gordon spends the night teaching James a basic going-in-a-little-circle thing.

“I do expect you to memorise all the steps,” Gordon does say eventually. “But it will be less important for you, seeing as you’ll be following a lead anyway. As long as you can be reactive, read what is coming next, and follow it, then you should be fine.”

James’ arms feel heavy, his feet feel sore. It’s been a good long while since he’s had a dancing lesson of any sort. The muscles in his legs are reminding him of that fact so courteously.

…Gordon smiles at him anyway, though.

“Well done,” he says, and James blinks in surprise at the compliment. “It’s not often anyone picks it up that fast.”

“Was I quicker than Edward?” James asks, half-teasing as he steps back, taking his hands off Gordon and stretching a little.

Gordon laughs, his head tipping back, and it rings around the empty room. James finds himself smiling in response to the sound, he’s always liked Gordon’s laugh.

“Yes, James,” Gordon says. “You were indeed. Now, it’s… late. We should finish.”

James swaps his shoes back over and pulls on his coat, and Gordon blows out the candles and turns off the tape deck, though he leaves it where it is. And he swaps his shoes out, too, and turns to an already waiting James.

“I’ll walk you home?” James offers.

“…If you insist,” Gordon says, and he gives James a little smile that almost looks a little fond, if James dares to believe as such.

They walk quietly, not wanting to wake anyone, and James pauses as Gordon stops by James’ front gate.

“You don’t need to double back,” Gordon says. “I can manage the rest on my own, I think.”

“Oh,” James says. “…Of course. Thank you, by the way. I didn’t expect you to go quite this late.”

“You were doing well,” Gordon shrugs. “I didn’t want to…” he gestures vaguely with one hand, “…interrupt the flow of progress.”

James shifts on his feet. “When will we do this again?” he asks.

“Tomorrow?” Gordon offers, before he blinks at himself even as James looks up at him. “I-if you like.”

“Okay,” James agrees before he considers whether he should. “That’d be splendid.”

“Done.” Gordon says, before his lips quirk into a wry, lopsided smile, and he tacks on, “Sleep well, James.”

James nods, and hurries down the path to his front door without another word. It’s once he’s unlocking the door that he realises Gordon’s waiting for him to go inside before he leaves. So James waves goodbye, closes the door behind him, and watches through the peephole for a moment to see Gordon walk away.

His heart is racing. James hangs up his coat by the door, presses the flats of his palms to his cheeks to check whether they’re as hot as they feel before he stumbles his way to bed.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Time passes. At first, it was rough, returning to the habit of dancing every day, but a month has passed, and there’s only one month more until the ball, and James and Gordon have been meeting to practice by candlelight every night. James is even used to the adjustment of sleeping schedule now.

Is it silly that James really likes the candlelight aspect? It’s… romantic, if he may be so bold. Though on the other hand, it feels almost mean to take up so much of Gordon’s time like this. Yes, James asked, and asked again when Gordon said no, but Gordon is giving him far much more time than James had ever considered he’d be willing to give.

Which is very nice of him. But… James just didn’t expect it, he supposes.

Over those four weeks, Gordon has gone from bossing him through the steps and correcting his form, to… quietly complimenting him when James pulls off a nice piece of footwork. And there’s been more and more compliments than before, even though Gordon has gotten quieter. That’s the only way James can put it. Gordon’s been talking less and watching more – he must actually be quite quiet if you just leave Gordon be. And… Gordon has just been looking. At James. Sometimes, he seems distracted doing so.

And James can’t help but admit he’s guilty in return. James didn’t realise how dark Gordon’s eyes are, how warm and rich a brown they are – not until they’re looking down at him, glinting in the candle light.

It’s as James waves Gordon goodbye one night more, Gordon standing with his hands in his pockets under the streetlight, and Gordon smiles and nods and waits for James to close the door, that it all hits him.

James closes the door so Gordon can’t see his face as he flushes dark, and he puts his hands flat on the door and leans there, bracing himself as he flushes hot and flushes cold, and-

Cinders. Cinders and ashes. James has a crush on Gordon.

Like, okay, fine. Fine! James has ‘had a crush on Gordon’ for a while. He thinks the guy is big and proud and strong and pretty and handsome and all those good things, but James had actually always considered that fairly superficial. Maybe even bordering on jealousy, if he really wanted to try analysing himself. And that was the biggest reason why he never wanted to tell anyone, and why the idea of telling Gordon felt so mortifying. Because… what if it wasn’t real?

But now? This time? This is… this is a real, actual crush. James turns so he can put his back to the door, flopping there as he feels a little lightheaded, standing in the dark of the entrance hall of his home. He hardly knows what to do with himself like this.

A-at the very least, they’re good dance partners. It feels pretty natural, actually. James is surprised how natural it feels. They dance best when they aren’t bickering – and… Gordon and him haven’t bickered for a while.

James shivers, and marches himself into the kitchen to go drink a glass of water and then throw a glass of water in his face. He’s being melodramatic. Despite that, he almost feels like he’s coming down with something, now the realisation’s hit him.

It’s moments like this where James is glad he lives alone. No one to see him like this, no one to make fun of him. No one to ask weaselly little questions that make him feel more confused.

He shakes his head, grips the sink as he takes a big breath in and a big breath out, before he whisks himself off to bed. Maybe he’ll sleep it off.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Nope. Three weeks until the ball and James has to acknowledge that he is, in fact, in love with Gordon. He has to grapple with this night after night as Gordon’s hands are on him and he gets to rest his hands on Gordon, and he can spend the whole time studying Gordon’s face instead of having to look at his feet, because Gordon has gotten him good enough that James doesn’t need to watch his feet anymore. And Gordon’s even taught him multiple dances at this point, though James is still learning the tango. The foxtrot and the quickstep were easy enough. And sillily enough, he didn’t consider Gordon to be a man who knew how to tango.

The candlelight catches Gordon’s eye again, as they turn a corner, and it makes James’ breath hitch a little, before he swallows the rising guilt in his throat, and opens his mouth.

“If, uh,” he starts slowly, following Gordon’s lead as they do the fancier turn Gordon taught him, “if you ever want to learn how to tap, for any reason, I can teach you too, if you want.”

Gordon tilts his head. “Well,” he says, lips quirking into a little smile as he leads James through a promenade and spinning him at the end for good measure, “I don’t know when I’d need that, but I’ll keep you in mind.”

“Or even something like-!”

James can’t help the rising agitation in his voice, and to his- his- his horror? Gordon comes to a complete halt, making James stop with him, and he raises an eyebrow at James even as his hands feel so heavy where they rest in James’ own and on James’ hip. It kills the words trying to form in James’ throat.

“What’s all this about, James?”

Cinders, Gordon asks it so plainly.

“I feel guilty,” James blurts – before he can think about whether he even should. “For taking up so much of your time.”

Gordon pauses, pursing his lips, and he looks quietly amused for a moment, before he shrugs. “You’re not taking anything I’m not willing to give,” he says, and he gives James an enigmatic smile, and James wishes the man would stop talking in circles. “I don’t mind spending my time like this.”

I don’t mind you, is what Gordon’s eyes seem to say. James hopes his cheeks don’t look as hot as they feel. He’s almost shaking.

“But!” Gordon finally lifts his hands away. “If you really feel that way, then I’ll take a batch of your scones after this is all over.”

And James laughs at that, slightly too loudly, a burst of the frantic energy that was building inside him, and he smiles and nods and steps backwards so the gloom will hide his expression which most certainly must be moonstruck. “Done,” he agrees.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

The time has been flying by. It’s now the week of the ball, and James should be excited. They’re still practicing by candlelight in the ballroom in the evenings, but the ballroom is slowly getting populated with things like tables and lights and decorations as the days pass, signalling the ball’s arrival.

James feels anxious! He’s not even sure why. It’s clearly not over his ability to dance. They can now run several dances start to end, and at multiple speeds, with ease. He’s even figured out that tango.

It dawns on him gently as he and Gordon are doing their latest lap, breezing down the entire length of the ballroom, that James doesn’t want this to end. He wants his candlelit nights with Gordon, stolen away from the chaos that daytime and the railway and their workmates present.

He likes this. He likes Gordon.

So when Gordon is asked to give his key back three days before the event, James can’t help but look distressed at the news. And Gordon laughs, he claps James on the back and tells him not to worry because he’s going to be fine.

Gordon doesn’t… get it, then. James takes a breath in, a breath out, and offers Gordon a smile and a little thank you. That’s fine. Gordon doesn’t… have to get it.

It has left him sitting in the breakroom, staring into his tea as he muses over it all, though. And while he doesn’t hear the approaching footsteps, he does hear the clink of a mug set down, and the thump of someone taking the seat across from him, and Thomas asking, “What’s got you so glum?”

James jumps, not realising he must have been wearing his heart on his sleeve, and offers Thomas a smile even as he goes to drink his tea to try hide his misery.

It makes Thomas eye him warily.

“Gordon’s not broken your heart, has he?” he asks.

James chokes on his drink, and splutters, “I beg your pardon?!”

Thomas laughs at him, leaning back in his seat, and James glances around the room to doublecheck that they are thankfully alone right now.

“Edward mentioned to me that you’d been having lessons,” Thomas winks, gesturing a cheers with his tea.

“That wanker.”

“I haven’t told anyone,” Thomas quickly follows up, eyeing James over his mug, before he smiles that cheeky smile of his. “Mostly because I know you’ll have my head.”

“Damn right,” James says, and he takes a pointed drink of his tea, not even wanting to know how red he’s gone right now.

“Easy,” Thomas raises a hand in defeat. “I guess I’m just checking in. You’re looking pretty put out.”

James sighs. His shoulders sag. He cups his hands around his tea and stares into it.

“I’m just in a little over my head, I think,” he mumbles.

“More like head over heels.”

“I’ll throw this at you. Don’t think I wont.”

That makes Thomas laugh, even as James tries to glare at him, before Thomas’ expression softens.

“James,” he says, in a quiet voice that makes James’ stomach drop. “In all seriousness. I’ve known Gordon for longer than you have, and… if he didn’t want to have you around, he simply wouldn’t.”

James gives up on trying not to flush.

Thomas opens his mouth again, before he clearly decides against saying more, and he gets to his feet, shaking his head before he drains the last of his tea from his mug.

“Think about telling him, maybe,” he suggests, before he pats James on the shoulder and leaves the room, leaving James to stew in his thoughts, and try to gather himself before his afternoon train.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

The night of the ball itself is absolutely brimming with excitement. Everyone is dressed to the nines, in their fancy clothes from the mainland that Sir Topham Hatt let them all go get, and the energy is infectious. The crowd is full of people he knows and people he doesn’t, it seems all of Sodor’s invited, and about half of England too.

James himself is wearing his lovely red dress-coat, all wine-red and gold braid, his crispest white gloves, a cravat and a lovely pair of red boots he had to go buy from the mainland too, which are just perfect for dancing in after he’s spent the week breaking them in. And he’s grinning like a lunatic as he drinks in the room around him – the ballroom he’s only ever seen in half-light has absolutely exploded with life and colour and noise.

From behind him, someone clears their throat. James spins on his heel to see Gordon standing there, and oh! He’s looking absolutely resplendent in midnight blue tails of his own, adorned with silver braids, and a single red flower (a rose or a carnation, James can’t tell) in his lapel.

James grins as he sees it, feeling a little less self-conscious about the rich blue pocket square he added to his own outfit too.

He opens his mouth to speak, but Gordon beats him to it.

“You look just splendid,” Gordon says, awed.

James preens at that, he can’t help it. He then smooths down his coat and pointedly looks Gordon up and down in return, letting his admiration shine on his face. “I could say the same for you,” he says.

“Have you heard about all the invitations?” Gordon says, stepping in a little closer as someone slips behind him. “Hatt sent some out to celebrities who’ve been involved with the railway.”

“Oh, yes, I heard,” James nods. “I’ve even seen City of Truro here tonight! Fancy him coming along, Duck will be pleased.”

“Yes, yes,” Gordon says, glancing around. “But…”

James’s face falls in realisation. “Ah.”

“Yes. Not only did Hatt invite my brother, but he damn well accepted,” Gordon half-laughs, tugging at his lapels, straightening them, “and Hatt only told me this morning! And I know how Scott likes to present himself, so… I couldn’t be shown up.”

“Of course,” James agrees politely, but he purses his lips, reading the anxiety weighing down Gordon’s board shoulders with ease. “…Do you want to avoid him?”

“No,” Gordon says, almost too quickly, and he steps back to accept a couple flutes of champagne from a passing waiter and hands one to James, and James sips it politely before his eyes go wide, Hatt really didn’t spare any expense on getting the good stuff, huh? “I just… hope it will be less frigid tonight than the last time we spoke.”

James looks up at Gordon sympathetically, who muses on his statement for a moment longer, before he shakes his head like he’s shaking off water, and Gordon turns to him, smiling.

“But enough of that!” he exclaims, and offers James his arm. “I do believe we’re under distinct instructions to enjoy ourselves.”

James laughs, and takes it, stepping in closer as a couple tries to slip by them to get to the dance floor.

“Shall we go attack the hors d’oeuvres before Henry does?” he offers.

Gordon laughs, and pats James’ wrist with surprising tenderness, it almost makes James gasp.

“That’s a splendid idea,” he grins back, the ice finally melting from his face.

James’ heart totally doesn’t not skip a beat over the way Gordon says splendid.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

It’s all fine. The evening goes fine! It’s now about 9pm, and the room is now lit with electric lights, candles, and strings of fairy lights. It really does make the mood more magical. James splits off now, to go natter with his friends. He gets heckled by Thomas and Percy, but they’re all laughing, and James has to compliment their formal gear too.

“It’s nice to finally get a flattering tailor, I’ll tell you that much,” Percy says, smoothing down his coat. “I don’t think I’ve ever owned a waistcoat before.”

“And I can’t remember the last time I actually wore a tie,” Thomas jokes, making a show of tugging his collar. “But really, James, I see why you wanted to dress up so badly. You look great.”

James plays up preening, and does a little spin for them. “Thank you,” he says. “Call me vain, but honestly, I do find it splendid to see everyone dressed up like this.”

“It’s true,” Thomas nods. “I’ve seen more pretty gowns tonight than I think I have in my whole life. Have you seen what Emily’s wearing? Showstopper.”

“So many sequins,” Percy nods.

James moves closer to their side so he can take in the whole room, and as his eyes graze over the dance floor, he realises Edward and Henry are out there.

And then he barks with laughter.

“What’s up?” Thomas asks.

“I see why Edward refused to teach me!” James laughs, and points them out. “Look.”

Henry is leading, god bless him, and he’s very, very carefully watching their feet. He’s not unconfident, certainly, but he’s not necessarily confident either, and glancing up at Edward’s face, who’s smiling encouraging at him, and not even wincing when Henry steps on his toes.

“That’s cute,” Percy says. “Good for them.”

And… watching them go? Maybe it’s the live music. Maybe it’s the candlelight. Maybe it’s the champagne. But James is suddenly possessed with the need to go find Gordon and drag him out onto the dance floor right now.

“Excuse me,” he says, and Thomas smiles at him knowingly, and James flips him off for fun even as he begins to weave his way through the crowd.

James finds himself outside, stepping through the grand French doors that have been thrown open to welcome the warm summer night. The spill-out area is filled with classy outdoor furniture, there’s fairy lights everywhere, the gardens have been completely redone and all the hedges are beautifully trimmed, and there, standing off to the side, is Gordon and his brother.

Gordon’s laughing along to whatever Scot is saying, but the way he has his arms folded across his chest, the set of his shoulders, the way his body is angled away from the conversation, it’s clear to anyone who knows him well that he’s a little too uncomfortable right now.

So James makes a beeline for him, and pops up by Gordon’s elbow.

“Hullo, Gordon!” he chirps warmly, and smiles as the tension just rolls of Gordon now someone else is here. “And, hello,” he says, polite yet slightly stiff to Scot, who nods at him and offers him the big smile of someone who is very used to meeting new people.

“Hello!” he says, and offers James a hand to shake, which James does take (and tries not to wince at the strength of his grip). “Who might you be?”

“James,” James offers. “I’m a good friend of Gordon’s.”

“Aha!” Scot’s face lights up far more genuinely this time. “Gordie was just telling me about you.”

James tastefully manages not to laugh at Gordie, more so because he’s jumping straight into oh broken buffers, what did Gordon say about him?

“My prized student,” Gordon jokes, lightly elbowing him, and James grins back.

“Speaking of,” he says. “I reckon we go show Henry and Edward up. They’re not too bad, but Henry can’t keep his eyes off their feet.”

Gordon and Scot both laugh at that, and Scot graciously lets them go.

“Thank you,” Gordon leans down to whisper in James’ ear as they walk away. “It always feels like an interrogation with him.”

“It’s alright,” James shrugs. “I… had a gut feeling. Anyway. You want to dance?”

Gordon seems to be keeping himself from glancing over his shoulder.

James frowns softly at him. “We don’t have to,” he adds.

“Oh, nonsense,” Gordon says, and the hand Gordon has on James’ shoulder squeezes gently. “I’d love to. Let’s let this song finish first.”

They have to muscle their way through the crowd, ending up slipping past Hatt himself, who pats Gordon on the back and offers James a smile and nod as they go past. Before long, they end up out on the dance floor as the next song ends.

“Any ideas?”

“My guess is waltz,” Gordon says, adjusting his cufflinks before he offers his hands to James. “They’ve played a couple fast numbers back-to-back.”

“You’ve found our warmup, then. How thoughtful,��� James laughs, stepping into Gordon’s arms. It’s so easy to lay his hand on Gordon’s shoulder now, to feel Gordon’s fingers curl around his hand. James isn’t sure how he ever could have dreaded it.

He laughs again as Gordon turns out to be right.

The music starts, and it’s just so natural to follow Gordon’s lead. And they’re off! Off around the dance floor, and Gordon successfully steers them through the crowd, pulling James out of the way of a close call of a collision with a quick pivot and a spin.

As they draw back together, Gordon eyes him, and James blinks back.

“You alright?” he asks. “You look flustered.”

“Flustered!” James exclaims, trying to play it off. “Me? Never.”

And Gordon actually… laughs at that, laughs at him, and James is struck with the realisation that perhaps… Gordon knows.

Well, it takes two to tango, doesn’t it?

“Well,” James changes tune, and he smirks up and Gordon. “In truth, I was just so taken by how handsome you look tonight.”

Now it’s Gordon’s turn to stammer, to falter, and for the colour to leap to his face. James hasn’t ever been brave enough to flirt before, but clearly, it works, and if Gordon’s going play that game then James can match him.

“Obviously,” Gordon manages to catch himself. “You must’ve liked the blue.”

He nods towards James’ pocket square, and James shakes his head with a bashful little smile.

“And I can see you went to match!” he nods back at Gordon’s flower.

Gordon goes to speak, before his eyes widen, and he quickly pulls James in close as another, far less-coordinated couple barrels past them, before letting James migrate back to the normal dancing distance.

“You do mean it? You think I’m handsome?”

“Of course I do,” James’ grin drops into something far softer despite his best efforts, and he says his next statement with far more heart than he means to. “I think you’re splendid.”

Gordon meets his eyes with a look that James literally cannot describe with any other word except tender.

“We need to talk, don’t we?” he asks, so softly, it’s amazing James can hear it over the music and the chatter.

“I’m listening now,” he replies.

Gordon swallows hard, before they’re brought to a halt as the song ends, and they – along with the rest of the dancers – politely clap for the musicians, before the next song starts. A quickstep. James’ face lights up instantly, and Gordon grins.

“Time to do some laps?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

They are the fastest and most fluid pair on the dancefloor. James’ dress-coat flairs out behind them in a most stunning way as they go all but flying past, a whirl of red and blue, and James can tell people are watching, and he’s relishing in it, grinning so brightly as Gordon smiles back.

They’re left panting and laughing and stumbling off the floor as the song ends – as not only the crowd but the band applaud them too. Gordon waves it off with a laugh. James takes a playful little bow, before they both stagger off to go find somewhere to sit and catch their breath.

Edward appears out of the crowd, Henry in tow, as James and Gordon find some seats, and James passes Gordon a drink.

“That,” Edward says, “was the most impressive thing I’ve seen in a long time.”

James chortles and slumps back, slumps back against Gordon without thinking, feeling Gordon tense under him for just a moment before he… yields, and melts a little back.

“You were doing well, too,” Gordon nods at Henry. “James wasn’t learning to dance from square one.”

“Just let a man be jealous in peace,” Henry grumbles jokingly, plopping himself down next to James with an oomph. “I don’t know how you manage being on your feet for that long, sometimes. I even got new comfortable shoes and my back is still killing me.”

As James pats his arm in consolation, Edward turns to Gordon with a glint in his eye.

“Dance?” he asks, holding out a hand. “For old time’s sake?”

Gordon fights down his smile, but gets up with no hesitation. Though he pauses a moment later, and glances back at James. “I’ll be right back,” he says.

“Sure thing,” James waves them off with a smile. “Show them all up.”

That makes Edward laugh, and the two of them disappear back into the throng to go dance.

James leans his head back against the wall, letting out a big, contented sigh.

“You alright?” Henry asks, as he shifts on his seat.

“Yeah, I am,” James says happily. “Or, I think so.”

Then he eyes Henry, and frowns, before he reaches over to the seats beside them and starts stealing all their cushions.

“Here, you look miserable,” he says, and helps pad Henry’s seat a little more.

“Thanks,” Henry says breathlessly. “I thought I was going to be alright, I really did.”

“No, no,” James nods along, “I understand. Especially when you’re not used to dancing.”

“How long have you and Gordon been practicing?” Henry asks.

“…Two?” James tries to count back on his fingers. “Yeah, two months.”

“Oh, thank god you said months!” Henry slaps his thigh with a laugh. “If you had said weeks, I really would have to start feeling bad!”

James laughs at him, and he opens his mouth to say something, before he realises someone is standing over them, and the two of them look up, and James tries really hard not to let his jaw drop as he realises it’s none other than superstar Scot Gresley, the Flying Scotsman himself.

“Hello Henry, James,” Scot says warmly, and Henry greets him back. James almost asks how they know each other, but glancing between them, it’s the cut of their noses that reminds James of all the drama a few years back. Henry’s got a little Gresley in him, too, that’s right, he always forgets that they’ve met before.

“James, that was some wonderful work out on the floor,” Scot turns to him, and James tries not to flush and gape, and he plays it off as politely as he can. “Would you dance with me?”

James… stares. Blinks once or twice. Henry’s gone a little stiff with surprise beside him, too. Scot extends his hand, still offering a warm smile, and after a second or two, James hesitantly takes it, rising from his seat. Scot’s fingers curl around his hand, but it doesn’t feel as gentle or soothing as Gordon. And as Scot starts to lead James out onto the dance floor, James shoots a look back over his shoulder at Henry, who mouths ‘good luck’ to him as they go.

Before he knows it, James is out on the floor, being lead through steps he knows so well by the Gresley brother he doesn’t know at all. And somehow, Scott is even faster and even lighter on his feet, and James can’t even make small talk for how much he has to concentrate on keeping up – which, notably, does not help his nerves. And Scot keeps this up for the whole quickstep, before they pause as the song changes, James fighting to hide that he needs to catch his breath.

As a slow waltz starts, Scot… relaxes, slows down, and shoots James a wink.

“Just wanted to test how good a teacher my brother is,” he banters. “You’ve both done very well.”

James blinks and swallows hard, before he offers a polite smile of his own.

“Thank you,” he says. “Gordon is a good teacher.”

“…You seem to make him happy.”

James stumbles, now, sheer shock, and his head snaps up to look Scot in the eye. Scot looks back evenly at him, lets James stare. …Scot has Gordon’s brown eyes, but the strength of his sideburns, his eyebrows, the slightly harder set of his face, even his sharper jawline. It’s just… not quite his Gresley.

“I hope you treat him kindly,” Scot continues, his voice dropping, but James flushes and is so glad he’s wearing gloves because he’s gone all clammy. “Gordon deserves something good to happen to him, and you do seem to be a delight.”

“I…” James is – as uncommon as the phenomenon is – lost for words. His old anxiety sweeps through him, makes his knees weak, and he hopes he isn’t shaking.

“I’m not asking you this as a celebrity,” Scot suddenly adds, his expression crumpling with concern as he must read all that straight off James’ face. “I’m asking you this as his brother.”

“I-I… of course,” James says, biting his tongue about telling Scot about how much Gordon didn’t want to talk to him tonight, because if Scot is so concerned about Gordon, then they’d have a better relationship, wouldn’t they? Cinders. And ashes. He wants out. James looks away, and ends up seeing Gordon and Edward, who are surprisingly close by, and they’re both shooting him concerned looks.

James bites his lip now, hoping he doesn’t look as upset as he feels, though he’s never really been good at hiding it. Don’t hurt Gordon? James hasn’t dreamt of it, not now, not anymore. He’s realised Gordon doesn’t really ever talk about his past before Sodor, and that’s telling in itself, isn’t it?

It must be the fact James is being asked this by someone who has probably hurt Gordon in the past is the thing that makes it sting like this. …What? Can Scot see that James is no better? Is that what Scot means by warning him?

Scot says nothing more either. James closes his eyes for a moment, willing the song to end, but suddenly, someone taps his shoulder, and he knows that hand, which is such a strange thing to say, isn’t it? His eyes fly open, because thank god, it’s Gordon and Edward. They must have danced their way through the crowd.

“You remember my friend, Edward, don’t you?” Gordon calls over the hubbub. “He’d love to catch up with you.”

“Of course,” Scot smiles broadly, …the practiced smile, James notes. He turns back to James, then, and squeezes his hand gently.

“A pleasure to meet you,” he says, and it does actually sound earnest, which is nice. It doesn’t soothe James’ nerves, though. “I hope you’ll keep our talk in mind.”

“I will,” is all James says, and he lets Edward take his place with a grateful, if not a little faint, smile.

Gordon practically dances their way off the dancefloor now, and James is more than eager to follow where Gordon leads. They end up pushing and weaving past several of their friends and workmates as they go, and James must still look a little stricken because he gets a few concerned glances as they go.

Gordon ends up leading him outside, and James immediately takes a few big breaths in and out as soon as the cooling evening breeze hits his face. It’s too stuffy, too loud, too much in there.

And as soon as it’s quiet, as they’re in private, as James can breathe, Gordon takes him by the shoulders and turns James so Gordon can look at him.

“What did he say to you?” he asks, and his voice is… surprisingly dark.

“He warned me,” James says, and he does his best not to sound bitter, but he thinks he fails. “He said I better not hurt you because you deserve nice things. A-and he’s right, but it rubbed me the wrong way.”

Gordon scoffs. “Bloody rich, coming from him,” he agrees, before his hands slip down from James’ shoulders, skating down his arms to take James’ shaking hands in his own. “Are you okay?”

“Just needlessly upset,” James manages to smile, though his eyes are a little too bright to sell it. “I come here expecting a good time and I get both a personal dance and a personal threat from the Flying Scotsman. Not your average evening, I’ll admit.”

Gordon squeezes his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault, Gordon,” James says, gently squeezing back. “I suppose I was insulted that… that he’d insinuate I’d hurt you on purpose. I care about you far too much for that.”

And-

They both flush at that. That’s the first time either of them has said it plainly.

“That’s… heartening to hear,” Gordon smiles softly at him. “And it only took me turning you into the best ballroom dancer on this island.”

And James laughs. The tension finally draining away, his stomach finally settling. He’s glad Gordon’s holding onto him now, because he feels light, and he wouldn’t want to float away.

“I have to admit it too, then,” Gordon’s practically whispering again, his voice rumbling low, and it makes James shiver. “I’ve… grown quite fond of you, too.”

James steps in a little closer, it just feels right.

“That’s good,” he says.

Then, looking Gordon in the eye then and there, the nerves come crashing back in, and James ducks his head, drops his chin, and starts fiddling with Gordon’s cufflinks instead.

Suddenly, there’s a hand cupping his cheek, and James can’t breathe. Gordon tips his head back up, and smiles at him – all soft and tender, all for James.

“Is this okay?”

“Bah!” James tries to laugh past his dark flush, turning his head away, withdrawing one hand to touch his cheek, he can feel the heat there even through his gloves. “You say that like I haven’t been in love with you for months!”

“Months…?”

James laughs again, bright and embarrassed, before he dares to look back at Gordon. His flush darkens at the painfully fond expression Gordon’s wearing, and James finds himself grinning.

“Just shut up and kiss me,” he says instead.

Gordon – several things cross his face in that moment. A flush of his own. Wonder, awe, tenderness, a little shock, and most importantly – Gordon rolls his eyes fondly and leans down to oblige him.

As their lips slot together, James makes a little noise of contentment, and drapes his arms around Gordon’s neck dreamily. Oh, this is good. This is what James has been dreaming about. Officially, this has been the best investment of dancing lessons James has ever made.

When they break apart for air, and James gets his breath back, he finally invites Gordon around tomorrow for those scones he promised however long ago it was, and Gordon has barely any time to accept before James kisses him again.

And… oh, for god’s sake. They pull apart again at the sound of applause from the doorway, and James turns to see… Edward and Henry, Thomas, Percy, god, even Toby and Henrietta, Emily, Rosie, Molly, Daisy, …is that all four of the Little Westerners? And more. It’s far too big a crowd, and James is suddenly wondering if him and Gordon was some kind of soap opera to the wider North-Western Railway, which makes him flush.

Thomas cups his mouth and hoots, “snog him again!”

James goes to yell back before Gordon pulls him in, and James immediately softens, looking into Gordon’s eyes, and he accepts the kiss Gordon gives him, Gordon wrapping his arms around James and dipping him with ease, and James lets Gordon hold his bodyweight as he frees one hand to lovingly flip off the crowd of onlookers.

They once again receive a round of cheers and applause. James doesn’t care, though, not when he can cling to Gordon and Gordon’s lips can brush his own, and Gordon’s breath can dance over his skin, and Gordon’s hands are on him, and this is real, and they’re…

James tears up.

“I love you,” he whispers, too quiet for anyone but Gordon to hear. “I love you. Thank you for putting up with me.”

“It was no bother, little James,” Gordon says, so very fondly, and James shivers again at the way his voice rumbles when he speaks low and quiet. “I love you too.”

It’s a shame the night has to end. James doesn’t want it to end at all. And here, kissing Gordon under the stars, it almost feels like it never has to.

thank you for reading! reblogs are always appreciated and feel free to let me know what you think of this ^-^

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[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[locke-esque-monster]

I got real nervous they were doing Lila x Five really early in the season. It wasn't even explicitly stated, it was just a feeling from how they were setting up and framing things. Lila disagreeing with Diego and going to talk to Five. Lila keeping secrets from Diego that Five knew about. The tension of Five covering for Lila to Diego. Lila's dissatisfaction with her relationship with Diego and asking for a break. Without actively being romantically into Five, it kept setting up the narrative for Lila to leave Diego and Five was all tied in with what she was going to as an alternative to Diego. Add that to the promo pics with them together - even having watched it later and avoided spoilers I had a real bad feeling where this was going long before 4x5. (Or at least avoided until I already had my theory - my phone helpfully suggested an article days before I got to 4x5. I was not pleased to say the least.)

But there's a lot of reasons I take issue with this pairing and how it was done, so Christ, I guess let's get started:

Five explicitly stated in season 3 that Lila is not his type.

Five murdered Lila's parents. Sure, on the Handler's orders. But you think it's easy to have a romantic relationship when you know those hands killed your parents (aka my biggest critique of Tony/Bucky shippers in the MCU).

Five is indirectly responsible for the Handler's death. He saved everyone but her when he time traveled back. Sure, Lila was upset with her, but this woman raised her. She's got to have some complicated feelings about that and Five is all wrapped up in them now.

Five also had a weird relationship with the Handler, where she was a little flirty with him, which was all kinds of uncomfortable. Lila briefly mimicked this in season 3, which was even more uncomfortable. It's unclear if this was deliberately copying her "mother" or not. But adding Five and the Handler's complicated relationship on top of the other issues means there's a whole carousel of baggage to unpack here.

Five has always seemed kind of annoyed or tolerant of Lila, which extended into early this season. It's maybe a hair kinder at the start of season 4, but definitely not where it should be if there's potential here. It'd be one thing if they were friends after 6 years, but their relationship hasn't substantially changed at the start of this season to suggest otherwise.

If you have to do an all musical montage to show 2 characters falling in love, I'm sorry, you're not doing this right. That's telling, not showing. These characters have had tons of interactions to build off of. If you can't do that, then you're effectively saying that you have no foundation for this relationship.

Also, if it takes 6 1/2 years of being each others sole companions under adverse conditions for you to get together - maybe you shouldn't be together. It's one thing if it's treated like "Finally" or "Oh I didn't think you also felt this way". It's another if it's like it's a new idea entirely - that suggests loneliness and a desire for companionship and they're you're only option.

Five's history includes him having a pseudo-romantic relationship with a mannequin when he's left alone in the apocalypse at 13. The next time he's separated from his family for years he's with Lila. I'll allow that it makes sense he developed feelings for her specifically because of his history. That said, that makes this a wholly unhealthy relationship when he has a history like that. Lila is filling a gap Five's psyche has clung to before in similar harrowing times.

Frankly, the fact Lila was first looking for excitement out of her home life and is now upset she can't get back to her family isn't a good headspace either. (I'm also deeply frustrated that Lila feels trapped at home. Lila is so capable and she has a buttload of family members who apparently can take their children on a whim during all this chaos. You're telling me she couldn't have found a better outlet to work on their marriage or get some freedom before it got to this point of lying to Diego?)

Five is volatile and Lila is unpredictable. They're nothing but a menace to practically every other character they meet, including each other. But once they're a couple, they're perfectly pleasant the whole time. I don't buy it. The only fight they have is when Five lied to her. I'm not saying they can't be sweet. But this is all sweetness. For me to buy this couple they need to lovingly bicker. Instead, they've both had personality transplants.

So they decide to go back to the greenhouse after 6 years 5 months and 2 days. Five admits to having the book 5 or 6 months on their 7th anniversary of being lost. Let's be generous and assume they kissed within a couple days of getting to the greenhouse, because they look reasonably settled. That means that best case, Five decided that after being in a relationship for less than 2 months, he was going to throw his whole family away and run away with Lila. That is a hell of a lot of commitment for a short relationship.

And keep in mind, it's not like their family is safe. Last they heard, they hadn't solved the Cleanse. So they're either actively in danger or dead. Five - The man who spent 45 years trying to save his family. Who survived decades in the apocalypse alone (minus Delores the mannequin) and murdered his way through time for the chance to get back and save them - is going to let his family die for a 2 month relationship. I call bullshit.

Also, I will give Five credit that he tried to stay on task during the fight with the Cleanse. He only seemed to fight in retaliation for Diego - he actively looked towards the fight at least once before Diego pulled his attention. But you're telling me he's ready to keep fighting Diego and is threatening to kill him over Lila? That his powers only work correctly after 7 years of having them back because Lila begged him? I once again call bullshit.

And Five was going off to mope alone and never come back and potentially let his family die from an active threat, all because Lila didn't pick him? That is not the Five I know.

I also feel like we maybe did all this arc to get Lila to the point where Five has to convince her to stay because no one else could even if she hates him for it, but still get her family on the train to get the planned ending. And that feels very clunky and I hate it.

Outside of plot lines - it is a bit disturbing to me that we're pairing up an actor whose barely an adult with a woman 15 years his senior - practically old enough to be his mother. This is a aside from the fact he's a what, 71 year old man internally at this point and Lila (if we assume even living at the commission she's a similar age to Diego) is in her early 40s by the time she kisses a physically mid-20s Five. There's so much about that I am not okay with I don't even know where to start.

I also hear the writers wanted a romance for Five. First, okay, then have a longer season. Develop a character for Five earlier on in the season or the show you can pair him with. God knows with that history and age issues it'll be tricky. But also frankly - why? Why does Five need a romantic love interest? He's been fueled by the love of his family and that's done so many impressive things out of love for them. Not everyone needs a romantic love of their life to find happiness and it feels very heteronormative (is that the word I want?) that we need to have that for Five. Give Five an apocalypse-free world and his family alive and then we can see what happiness he can find.

[raspberry-tulip]

Came to drop another ship art 💁🏻‍♀️

This time it’s 4x5, prob my second otp after 2x3. I used the same concept as the 2x3 post, where they are sleeping.

They seem to be less comfortable than 2x3, but it’s just that they are still warming up as a couple (if that makes sense?). Like, I headcanon that Gordon has never been in a romantic relationship before so this is basically his first, and James has never really found someone that really loves him and has something like PTSD from past relationships. But he still somehow fell in love even with the fear, and Gordon not having a lot of experience with these type of relationships, they soon grew closer to each other :)

Also Gordon’s a deep sleeper and James is hugging him for love/safety (🥲) and warmth (even though he’s the one with the sweater). Even in winter Gordon doesn’t wear not even a shirt when he’s going to bed. He’s somehow not cold, and sometimes a source of warmth.

Sorry if the anatomy or shading looks bad :’)

[honorhearted]

Get to know me: Turn: Washington's Spies Edition!

Yoinked from @cabbxges-and-kings!

Favorite Season: Season 3! *cuts to everyone booing me* I truly don't understand why so many people sh*t on this season, because that whole opening sequence with Bradford and Hickey, as well as Andre's h.anging was some of the show's best writing, IMO. I was riveted throughout both of those episodes. I'm assuming it's partially because of Ben getting a love interest (people went absurdly feral over that (in a bad way)), as well as complaints about Ben's shift in characterization (I love seeing characters struggle with their morals, so sue me), and the biggest strike of all: Ben's wig lol. Season 1 is a close second -- I love Ben's starry-eyed naiveté there! <3

Least Favorite: Season 2. I'm sorry, but I don't give a you-know-what about the A.nnlett/Abe/Simcoe drama, and Ben was featured the least in this season. No season is a bad season, but this is the one I tend to rewatch the least. Aside from Ben's meltdown over Sackett, I don't tend to refer to any of his scenes here for inspiration.

Favorite character(s): Ben (duh lol), though since it's an ensemble cast, I tend to shift back and forth between my favorites. I really grew to love Mary in S3, and Anna in S4, and Peggy was a fave ever since S2. And Sackett! <3

Least Favorite Character: Simcoe, I guess? I loathed both him and Abe during my first watch -- literally couldn't stand either of them -- but now, I have an appreciation for both in regards to what they serve to the plot, so I'm no longer terribly bugged.

Favorite Romantic Relationship: I don't have one. Or at least, I don't have a favorite canon relationship, though I did enjoy some of the Andre/Peggy scenes in S2. In regards to fanon, I have several thanks to RP lol.

Favorite Friendship: Probably Ben and Sackett. The dynamic is hella underrated, and I like the whole crazy!uncle/nephew thing they had going on. I also actually really like Caleb and Abe. I know everyone goes on and on about Caleb and Ben, but Caleb seemed closer to Abe than Ben in the pilot with all their wrestling/goofing off, so I'm actually more partial to that dynamic than the former. It's just too bad we never saw more of them (though I did enjoy their run-ins in S2 and S4 -- both moments were iconic, too, with the j.ail rescue attempt and the bit with L.afayette).

Favorite Episode: I don't have an absolute favorite, but I do tend to rewatch the ep where Ben finds out Samuel died, The Battle of Setauket, 3x1 and 3x10 quite a bit. I rewatch bits of 4x5 and 4x6 a fair amount as well.

Least Favorite Episode: Definitely the GWash-centric ep. Ben wasn't in there, and since I find Turn!W.ashington boring, I found the entire episode boring. Sorry. *shields self from hissing fans*

Favorite Iconic Quote: "I shaved my beard for you, you ungrateful shite!"

[gattoneropub]

Alphonse Mucha Le Fruit Print Vintage Art Nouveau Poster Of The Fruit

Alphonse Mucha Le Fruit Print Vintage Art Nouveau Poster Of The Fruit Alphonse Mucha Le Fruit, The Fruit, vintage art nouveau print originally made in 1897. This digital download wall art has been carefully digitally restored by an artist to remove any obvious signs of wear and to freshen the colours but it still retaining its vintage character. This vintage Alphonse Mucha poster download, encapsulates the glamour of times gone by and would make a wonderful addition to your home decor, it is ethereal and gives an atmospheric and romantic ambience to any room. Your image will not contain the watermark. COPYRIGHT: For personal use only. You cannot physically resell or digitally redistribute the artworks as originals nor as modified. You will receive a download link to enable you to download the files with different ratios They are in JPEG format. Your link will expire in 14 days and you will be able to download the files 3 times. Each ratio file has very high resolution JPEG images, 400 dpi which are ready for instant download and printing. 2:3 ratio poster file download which will print: 4x6 / 6x9 / 8x12 / 10x15 / 12x18 / 16x24* / 20x30 / 24x36 in 10x15 / 20x30 / 30x45 / 40x60 / 50x75 / 60x90 cm 3:4 ratio poster file download which will print: 6x8 / 9x12 / 12x16 / 18x24* / 24x32 in 9x12 / 12x16 / 15x20 / 30x40 / 45x60 cm 4:5 ratio poster file download which will print: 4x5 / 8x10 / 12x15 / 16x20 / 20x25* / 24x30 in 10x12 / 20x25 / 28x35 / 40x50 cm 5:7 international ratio size (ISO) which will print print: 50x70 cm A1 / A2 / A3 / A4 / A5 11x14 in file to print. Read the full article

[kiss-my-freckle]

The Rager, 3 of 3

As I said in my first post, there's a lot in 4x3 that I could put into this, but it would be far too long. There are other moving parts and parallels... like Matt, Jeremy, Stefan, Caroline, Connor, and Dr. Fell.

A summation of Delena before I dive into Steroline.

This is the open of 4x3. "Those who can't do, teach."

This is the close of 4x3. "And I'm gonna teach you."

Connor and Jeremy are written in between because Damon will end up teaching Jeremy as well. "Find me a vampire, I'll train you, teach you how to do what I do."

It shifts from the brother who can't drink.

To the brother who can.

It shifts from the brother who can't have fun.

To the brother who can.

Had it been Delena at Rebekah's party in 4x3... or it been alcohol instead of human blood in 4x4, Elena STILL would've dirty danced with Damon and Bonnie would've had nothing to say to about it. Because Elena's comment in 4x5 is every bit what it means to be drunk on alcohol.

"I didn't tell him that I got high on blood like some crackhead..."

It's a lowered inhibition. Elena is basically loosened up, less self-conscious. Like someone needing to be drunk just to get up the courage to talk to the person they're crushing on.

Steroline

Like Delena, Steroline is a slow burn.

Damon was meant to train Elena for the same reason Stefan was meant to train Caroline.

As far as ships go, Caroline is better suited for Stefan. As I often say, Elena brings out the worst in him. Elena is better suited for Damon because of who she is and how she loves. Her compassion is the reason she not only understands Damon, but she helps make him a better person. Caroline lacks that. Damon is just as giving as Elena, just written as her opposite for the sake of them completing each other.

Caroline is Stefan's bloodlust coach.

"Come to me, whenever you want, and I won't let you lose control."

Elena is Damon's humanity coach.

"Elena is educating me on the importance of feelings."

This is what I often refer to as the Lexi role. Saying Elena simply broke up with Damon is like saying Caroline simply broke up with Stefan. Elena isn't just Damon's girlfriend, she's his humanity coach. That's why Damon gets hit with the ripper virus in season 5 and Stefan is the one to kill Katherine. She used Elena's Lexi role to flip Damon back to monster-mode. Stefan had to see ripper Damon to actually see what Katherine did to Damon. It's what happens when Stefan dates Elena before he dates Caroline. Before Caroline, the bloodlust coach... it was Elena, the bloodlust coach. Elena shifted to humanity coach when she switched brothers, then Caroline took her place. Damon's season 5 spiral isn't just centered around Lexi, it's centered around Stefan's desire to kill Damon after he killed Lexi in 1x8. That's why Katherine kicks a stake to Stefan.

It's because Elena acted as Stefan's bloodlust coach that I slam him when he slams Damon for needing a humanity coach in season 7. Elena quite literally had to hold his hand so he wouldn't rip Dr. Fell apart after Alaric attacked her. A coach that quite literally had Stefan feeding from her hand for the sake of managing his blood intake. Stefan's had a bloodlust coach since he met Lexi in 1864. He went from Lexi to Elena to Caroline. Elena is Damon's second humanity coach, not his third. Before Elena, he had his Katherine coach and his Sage coach. He had Enzo for 5 years, and I very much consider him Damon's first humanity coach.

I can easily explain why Lexi was unable to help Damon in New York. Coaches are like therapists. When you go to therapy, they help get you in with the right therapist. One therapist won't necessarily work for all. Like going to a literal AA meting and picking a sponsor. You want someone you can connect with. Damon's season 5 spiral is the perfect example as to why you shouldn't date your sponsor, your coach, your therapist lol. They have that control over you... aside from being your romantic partner. It's like dating at work. You're likely to quit or get fired when you break up. Breakups are emotional af. Those emotions will make a vampire like Stefan rip someone apart or a vampire like Damon to snap a neck. 4x7 is Stefan's parallel to Damon in 2x1. That's why he takes Jeremy's humanity when he forces him to kill that vampire. "You want to shut out the pain? It's the easiest thing in the world. The part of you that cares just goes away, all you have to do is flip the switch and snap!" Then Jeremy tries to kill his own sister.

I view the sire bond as an extension of Delena. That's why I post this particular parallel. Damon is being honest, the sire bond simply makes him doubt that honesty. Like honestly being happy, then questioning if he should be happy.

"Because of you, Stefan. I'm good at it because of you."

"I finally got Elena to a good place about being a vampire. You two idiots can't stand that she's happy because of me."

"Does she seem a little off-balance to you?"

This Steroline scene is introducing the triple. Damon is often off-balance/on edge because of his humanity issue. Stefan is often off-balance/on edge because of his bloodlust issue. That's why you'll get comments like the one Alaric made about Stefan in 1x19. "You know, he seems on edge." And the one Stefan made about Damon in 2x2. "And right now, he's not stable." A person off-balance/on edge is an unstable person. That's why I love the soundtrack Unsteady by  X Ambassadors.

One simple reason why Elena is off-balance/on edge. She's trying to live a lie like she did when she was human… pretending to be in love with Stefan when she's really in love with Damon. Because she's sired to Damon, she's unable to continue living that lie. It's forcing Elena to wear her heart on her sleeve, and her being off-balance/on edge was meant to be temporary because it is centered around the sire bond. She's struggling with her diet (bloodlust) all the while struggling with her feelings for Damon (humanity). She's basically both brothers combined lol.

"She needs to come to terms with it, confront it, let it in before she can let it go."

The only thing Elena needs to confront is her truth. That's why she's getting hit with werewolf venom in this episode. It's what werewolf venom does. "My subconscious is haunting me, Ric. Please tell me you have something for that." Elena's truth is haunting her, so she needs Klaus to cure her lol. She finally confronts her truth with Stefan in 4x6 and with Damon in 4x7. She needs to let Stefan go before she can let Damon in.

"You should write a book. Go on The View."

Best Caroline refer to Damon's playbook because Elena's his girlfriend.

My final interpretation, and I saved this for last because I feel it's often misinterpreted. Elena pushes Damon off because she's fighting her truth. A good reason for her to fight it in this particular scene because it has a specific vibe, and that vibe is real simple. It's best she not scream Damon's name while having sex with Stefan lol. The fact that Elena was thinking of Damon while making out with Stefan says enough on its own. Because it's not like she simply hallucinated him. She hallucinated him making out with her. Had she been alone, she would've allowed this hallucination to continue and we would've been given a completely different soundtrack lol... like Touch of My Hand by Britney Spears.

I'm not ashamed of the things that I dream I find myself flirting with the verge of obscene Into the unknown, I will be bold I'm going to places I can be out of control

[beaulesbian]

Can we talk about how much is Mike trying not look at El during the whole beginning of 4x9?

It’s right after they found her again, and they’re trying to figure out the situation around Max and piggyback to her mind, so if this was a scenario where you just saved/got back  your girlfriend or even a friend, wouldn’t you notice them a bit more, happy they’re back with you?

gif 1 - she comes back with the idea of piggyback to Max’s mind, and he looks at her for few seconds and rather looks at Jonathan for much longer time.

gif 2 - he looks at what she’s doing the whole time, it doesn’t matter because she’s facing the other way.

gif 3 - he doesn’t know where to look, looking at other people talking.

gifs 4 & 5 - he’s talking to her, so he looks, but it’s not about his concern for her but reminder what the bathtub would do, it’s connected to her powers.

gif 6 - will points out there was a motel along the way. mike’s looking at him.

gifs 7 & 8 discussing searching for place with enough salt and the right tub for el:

Especially the last two gifs were interesting, because the vision on the characters it kind of obscured, but it’s still noticeable how Mike is looking anywhere else but El, unless he’s speaking directly to her - and when he does it’s about a reminder of her powers.

Even the other guys make eye contact few more times during this scene, like having normal discussion with her. But he’s avoiding eye contact.

It reminds me a bit of this part in 4x3, when Mike didn’t even look at Will this whole scene, after the rink-o-mania fiasco, and which was also a scene right before the elmike fight. (A fight they can’t come back from?)

As comparison I can just point out how his oblivious ass is looking at Will whenever he gets a chance, from ep 4x4 and onwards (again- after the elmike fight. A fight they can’t come back from.)

Which also makes me think - what if Mike didn’t thought of El as his girlfriend after their fight in 4x3?

Argyle reminded him so many times in 4x5 about his “superpowered girlfriend”, and he didn’t dispute it, but that was right during this part, and he clearly looks confused, like he’s questioning everything.

When they got El back they didn’t even kiss, they hugged and then looked around and Will was waiting for his hug with El.

In the pizza place in 4x9 they talked how they missed each other but don’t have enough time to say what they wanted to talk about - both El and Mike wanted to discuss something more.

In 4x4 and 4x5 Will reassured Mike that when he and El meet again, he would have opportunity to say to her whatever he needed to. Even if it might be hard, because she might not like the truth. (Mike nodded at this part, agreeing.)

But they didn’t get to say what they wanted in the pizza place.

Then, if Mike’s monologue in 4x9 was meant to be romantic, it failed. Eleven failed, Mike’s words weren’t enough. He couldn’t explain himself, so he said what came to his mind, but it wasn’t the right words, or it wasn’t the right - true - feeling.

Maybe he stopped thinking about El as his girlfriend already in 4x3, when he read that letter and came to a conclusion that their fight has changed something for them being together.

And since then he started to realize some other things, very slowly.

I can’t wait for Finn to beat the bad actor allegations, because he clearly knows what he’s doing - and it’s in the eyes.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Unhappy Buck

Buck has been unhappy for a long time but he keeps trying to mask the unhappiness he’s feeling from his family (Maddie, Eddie and Christopher) and from his found family (the 118) with bright smiles along with his naturally sunny disposition.  Instead of just returning to therapy on his own, like he did in 4x2 “Alone Together”, he’s reading self-help books and asking others to tell him the secret to happiness.  So far he’s asked two people, Bobby and Hen about being at ease with himself and what the secret to happiness is but they both told him that he has to answer those questions for himself.  And now he’s going to be a sperm donor for a so-called friend named Connor that he hasn’t seen in more than 3 years.  Buck NEEDS TO GO TO THERAPY and based on his most recent decision to be a sperm donor for a random couple, his actions are IRRATIONAL and he’s not making good decisions.  Connor is using Buck the same way he did when they were in Peru.  He wasn’t listening to Buck during one of his rambles about how chocolate was made in South America instead of Hershey, PA because Connor was too busy watching that woman walk by. It’s the Buckley parents all over again because Connor will use Buck for parts, get what he wants out of it and leave him broken.  Buck is still trying to FIX IT for people who only want to GET something from him.  Instead of making the decision on his own, it would have made more sense for him to talk to Maddie and Eddie, the two people who love and care about him and his well-being, before he said yes to that couple.  Now he probably won’t be able to get out of it, if he even goes through with it.

It’s interesting that Buck is still searching for happiness since everything he’s ever wanted in a life partner, a person who loves him endlessly and who wants to build a family with him (Eddie), has been right in front of his face for more than four years now just like the chair in his living room (related post: “Timeline of Couches – META”).  He keeps looking past Eddie as a romantic partner even though they’ve already built their relationship on trust and they started building The Buckley-Diaz Family together more than four years ago.  Also he’s Christopher’s co-parent with Eddie and Eddie named him to be Christopher’s legal guardian in his will but he’s probably hesitant to make the first move and tell Eddie how much he loves him because he’s scared of being rejected (he won’t be).  If he doesn’t address his feelings of unhappiness along with his irrational decision to be a sperm donor soon, he could be headed for a breakdown (related posts: “Before Buck’s Breakdown” and “Buck Breaks”). The day he finally breaks, appears to be quickly approaching so hopefully he will talk to someone before it’s too late.  Of course Eddie should be there for him when he breaks just like Buck was there for Eddie in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia” because they are in love with each other and have been for years (related post: “That’s love!”).  Eddie doesn’t like to see Buck hurting and he’s always been there to take care of Buck (related post: “Eddie takes care of Buck” and related GIF set: “Eddie worrying about Buck”). 

The GIFs below are for some of the times that Buck’s been unhappy in CANON.

1x10 “A Whole New You”

2x8 “Buck Actually”

2x13 “Fight or Flight”

2x13 “Fight or Flight”

2x18 “This Life We Choose”

2x18 “This Life We Choose”

3x1 “Kids Today”

3x1 “Kids Today”

3x1 “Kids Today”

3x5 “Rage”

3x5 “Rage”

3x6 “Monsters”

3x6 “Monsters”

3x9 “Fallout”

3x15 “Eddie Begins”

3x16 “The One That Got Away”

3x18 “What’s Next?”

4x2 “Alone Together”

4x4 “9-1-1 What’s Your Grievance?”

4x5 “Buck Begins”

4x5 “Buck Begins”

4x5 “Buck Begins”

4x5 “Buck Begins”

4x5 “Buck Begins”

4x14 “Survivors”

5x5 “Peer Pressure”

5x5 “Peer Pressure” & 5x9 “Past is Prologue”

5x16 “May Day”

5x18 “Starting Over”

6x1 “Let the Games Begin”

6x1 “Let the Games Begin”

6x2 “Crash and Learn”

6x2 “Crash and Learn”

6x4 “Animal Instincts”

[horiizonsstuff]

[Let go of all your cares

Forget your love affair

You're gonna dance with me tonight.]

(reblogs are appreciated!)

[Take it as Platonic or Romantic 4x5. I just like to offer them ]

Pose inspired by Jomeimei on Instagram

an art piece i did back in june. was gonna post it as a thank you for 100+ followers but since i had the six fanarts as a thank you, i just left it alone for awhile. Anyways 🤸‍♂️✨ don't let this flop 😘💖

Close Ups:

[oursonwithagirl]

WILL’S PAINTING BLABBER

okay so because of el’s letter to mike at the beginning of the season, we, the audience, learn about the painting, along with mike. it’s all from el’s perspective so what’s being said isn’t all entirely true.

she states that will has been acting weird (as of how we don’t rlly know), that he’s painting something special which has been at least taking long enough for her to notice, and that it’s for a girl (lmao). obviously we understand will’s characterization and that he’s queer so we know that this painting, if it’s really romantic, would indeed be for a male love interest. yet mike, since finn claims him to be clueless most of the time and he can get preoccupied with many other things going on in his life (gotta be normal, right mike?), sees the painting as having a romantic context to it and maybe even believes that it’s for a girl that will likes.

this would for sure be a new idea for mike to ponder what with will actually liking a girl after a whole summer of seeming like he’s not interested and only wants to play dnd. i truly think a little jealousy did seep into his brain after learning this and it could explain his actions at the airport - his immediate focus on the painting will has and his inability to view will as the same kid who left a couple months ago. after all, will has grown up, all of them have, and this is possibly something mike has been fearing though of course he would never admit it.

sooooo whatever happens in st4 is gonna happen but we KNOW that will’s painting will be revealed. we definitely also know it’s intended for mike bc of will taking it with him to the airport. i guess it could get shown to or accidentally seen by another character, but that wouldn’t be a big reveal payoff without mike involved. if mike and el don’t break up officially, will is not gonna attempt anything over the top for mike, he could never. however, he could show him the painting he made, as it has deep roots of their friendship (assuming it’s the swing set).

it could be during an either hopelessly sad scene where will feels like he needs to do this quickly before it’s too late or it could be just a special moment between the two like in 4x4 or 4x5. this reveal will lead to something big for mike. he’s been thinking that it’s for someone else and maybe he’d get to see it cuz will’s his best friend and he wants some insight into his love life.

his shocked face when it’s about them will be sooo good. and nothing even has to come of this moment. because viewers will get to see some emotional turmoil from michael himself 🤞when he realizes that will has much deeper feelings than friendship towards him. i think mike’s gonna suppress this further but at least, in his mind, the security of reciprocity on will’s end is there. this will hopefully push him to act on his own feelings because it’s now his move.

so anyone doubting that there might not even be a significant byler romantic feelings scene, or that the painting’s not gonna affect character storylines can rest easy.

[djs-sideblog-for-pog-trains]

Hey team!!!! I'm Back on my human au bullshit!!!! i had this idea yonks ago n forgot about it but now im writing it down enjoy

Romatic 4x5 (james x gordon)!!!

James can tap dance (because i say so, he seems the sort tbh) and Gordon is good at ballroom dancing (waltzes, foxtrots, quicksteps, he can tango, he isn't the best at latin but he has learnt) bc being from a High Society family in the 20s strikes me as the sort of thing still being taught idk

Theres some big function coming up maybe it's like the queen's coming, y'know how it be, something something Sir Topham Hatt's actually putting on a ball and everyone's excited because that's never happened before on Sodor.

[Adding a readmore bc im writing this on my phone and it got long and actually it's turnes into a fanfic that took me 2 and 1/2 hours to write LETS GOOOOO]

James laments he doesn't know how to waltz and such to Edward (in that needling way that he knows Edward probably knows how and wants Ed to teach him) and how he doesn't want to make a fool of himself at the function, and Edward shoots back with "Well, Gordon taught me, maybe if you ask nicely he'll teach you."

James is like 'oh no' but also 'ohoho yes' because he's totally not in allegedly unrequited denial. So he goes to Gordon the next day (in private) and is like "A little bluebird told me you can dance."

"...What of it?" Gordon looks a little miffed, maybe like it's something he doesn't like to broadcast much.

"...Teach me?"

"No."

"Please?"

"...Are you going to drop this?"

"No!" James smiles broadly but honestly he likes the idea of learning off Gordon the most because he'll tease James in the moment if he makes mistakes but they've got enough of a friendship(?) that Gordon probably wouldn't talk about it elsewhere.

Gordon seems to consider it, and sighs, and agrees. Far quicker than James expected, actually.

It takes a few lessons (at about 11pm, Gordon asked for a key to get into the ballroom they will be using for the function from Hatt, and they practice in practically candlelight because Gordon doesn't really want to broadcast they're there. James quietly thinks that it's a little romantic), before James starts feeling a little guilty that he's taking so much of Gordon's time in this. They only have 4 weeks now and Gordon's gone from mostly bossing him about through the steps and the poise to quietly complimenting him when James pulls off a nice piece of footwork. He's quite quiet, it seems, if you let him be. Gordon also seems to get distracted just... looking at him? But James has to admit, Gordon's eyes are a most delightful warm dark brown that he's never noticed before - not until they're looking down at him, glinting in the candle light.

This is where James proper realises he's got a crush on Gordon. And he doesn't know it yet, but Gordon's been soft on him for a while, and had sworn to himself he was going to get over it, but this doesn't help.

They make for very natural dance partners. They work well together when they stop bickering, and they've stopped bickering a while ago.

"...If, uh," James starts as they're going round a corner, "if you ever want to learn how to tap, for any reason, I can teach you too, if you want."

"Well," Gordon's lips quirk in a little smile as he leads James through a promenade and a little spin for good measure, "I don't know when I'd need that, but I'll keep you in mind."

"Or even, something like-" James seems agitated, and Gordon comes to a halt, stopping James with him, raising an eyebrow as his hands feel so heavy where they rest in James' own and on his hip. It kills the words in his throat.

"What's all this about, James?"

"I feel guilty," James blurts before he can think about whether he should. "That I'm taking so much of your time."

"You're not taking anything I'm not willing to give," Gordon says, smiling enigmatically at him, and James wishes he'd stop talking in circles. "I don't mind spending my time like this."

I don't mind you, is what Gordon's eyes seem to say. James hopes his cheeks don't look as hot as they feel.

"But," Gordon finally lifts his hands away. "If you feel that way, then I'll take a batch of your scones after this is all over."

James laughs at that, stepping back and letting the gloom hide his moonstruck expression. "Done," he agrees.

The half-week before the ball, they're still practicing by candlelight even as the ballroom's decorations start appearing around them from day to day. James feels anxious. He's not sure why. It's clearly not over his new dancing skills. They can run several dances start to end at multiple speeds with ease, now.

Maybe, he realises, as they breeze down the whole length of the ballroom, he doesn't want this to end. He wants his candlelit nights with Gordon, stolen away from the chaos of the railway and their workmates by day.

He likes this. He likes Gordon.

Gordon is asked to give his key back three days before the event, and when James looks distressed at this news, Gordon laughs and claps him on the back and tells him he'll be fine.

It seems he doesn't get it. That's okay.

"What's got you so glum?" Thomas asks him over their tea break, and James jolts, not realising he's been wearing his emotions on his face. "Gordon's not broken your heart, has he?"

"I beg your pardon?!"

Thomas laughs at his expression. "Edward mentioned you'd been having lessons to me."

"That wanker."

"I haven't told anyone else," Thomas eyes him over his mug. "Mostly because I know you'll have my head."

"Damn right," James takes a pointed drink of his tea.

"I guess I'm just checking in," Thomas shrugs. "You're looking put out."

"I'm just a little over my head, I think," James mumbles.

"More like head over heels."

"I'll throw this at you. Don't think I won't."

Thomas laughs, before his face goes soft. "James," he says, in a quiet voice that makes James' stomach drop. "Seriously, though. I've known Gordon longer than you have, and if he didn't want to have you around, he wouldn't."

James hopes he's not flushing.

Thomas goes to say more, before shaking his head and standing. "Think about telling him, maybe," he suggests, before leaving, leaving James trying to gather himself before his afternoon train.

The night of the ball is brimming with excitement. Sir Topham Hatt let them all go to the mainland (not at the same time, of course) to get some fancy clothes, and everyone is dressed to the nines. James is wearing the fanciest dresscoat of his life, all wine-red and gold braid, grinning like a lunatic as the ballroom he's seen in half-light has exploded with life and colour.

A voice clears its throat, and James spins on his heel to see Gordon, and oh! Looking resplendent in a midnight blue dresscoat of his own, blues and silvers but with a red flower, a rose or a carnation James can't tell, in his lapel. James grins as he sees it, and feels a little less self conscious about the rich blue pocket square he's wearing too.

"You look just splendid," Gordon says, awed.

"I could say the same for you." James pointedly looks him up and down, admiring his get-up.

"Hatt told me this morning that not only did he invite my brother," Gordon sighs, half-playful and half-worried, "but that he accepted, and I know how Scot presents himself. Couldn't be shown up."

"Of course," James agrees politely, but he can see the extra anxiety weighing down his friend's broad shoulders. "...Do you want to avoid him?"

"No," Gordon steps back and accepts a couple flutes of champagne from a waiter and hands one to James (and it's good stuff, too, Hatt really spared no expense tonight). "I just... hope it will be less frigid than last we spoke. But enough of that! We have distinct instructions to enjoy ourselves."

James laughs and steps aside as a couple tries to slip by them to the dance floor. "Shall we go attack the hors de'vours before Henry does?"

Gordon laughs, and offers his arm. "That's a splendid idea," he grins back, the ice finally melting him his face.

James heart totally does not flutter at how Gordon says splendid.

It's all fine. The evening goes fine. It's now about 9pm and the room is lit by electric lights and candles, and James splits off to go natter with his friends. He gets heckled by Thomas and Percy, but in the end they all are laughing and they look very good in their own formal gear too.

James spies Edward and Henry out on the dance floor, Henry watching their feet carefully, and suddenly realises why Edward did not agree to teach him with a laugh.

Maybe it's actually having live music. Maybe it's the candlelight. Maybe it's the champagne. But James is suddenly possessed with the need to go find Gordon and drag him out on the dance floor now.

He weaves through the crowd, and ends up finding him by the grand french doors that have been thrown open to welcome the warm summer night with the spill-out area fillled with classy outdoor furniture and a little bar and fairy lights everywhere. Gordon is talking with his brother, laughing, but the way he has his arms folded across his chest is a signifier to anyone who knows him that he's a little too uncomfortable.

James makes a beeline for him, and pops up by his elbow. "Hullo, Gordon!" he chirps, and smiles as the tension rolls off his friend. "And hello," he says, polite but slightly stiff to Scot, who nods at him and offers him the big smile of someone who is very used to meeting new people.

"Hello!" he says, and offers a hand for James to shake, which James takes (and tries not to wince at the strength of his grip). "Who might you be?"

"James," James offers, "I'm a good friend of Gordon's."

"Aha!" Scot's face lights up far more genuinely this time. "Gordie was telling me about you."

James tastefully manages not to laugh at Gordie and jumps straight into oh god what did Gordon say about him?

"My prized student," Gordon jokes, lightly elbowing him, and James grins.

"I reckon we go show Henry and Edward up. They're not too bad but Henry can't keep his eyes off their feet."

Gordon and Scot both laugh at that, and Scot lets them go.

"Thank you," Gordon leans down to him, to whisper in his ear. "It always feels like a little bit of an interrogation with him."

"It's alright," James smiles. "...You want to dance?"

Gordon seems to be keeping himself from glancing over his shoulder.

"We don't have to," James tells him

"Nonsense," Gordon's hand on his shoulder squeezes gently. "I'd love to. Let's let this song finish first."

They have to muscle their way through the crowd, end up slipping past Hatt himself, who pats Gordon on the arm and shoots James a warm smile, before they end up out on the floor as the next song ends.

"Any ideas?"

"My guess is waltz," Gordon says. "They've played a couple fast numbers back to back."

"You've found our warm up, how thoughful," James laughs, and laughs again as Gordon's right.

As the music starts, it's so natural to follow Gordon's lead, and they're off around the dance floor. Gordon steers them successfully, managing to save a close call with a quick pivot and a spin.

"You alright?" Gordon eye him, and James blinks. "You look flustered."

"Flustered!" James exclaims. "Never. Maybe. Um."

Gordon laughs at him, and James is struck with the realisation that perhaps Gordon knows.

Well, it takes two to tango, doesn't it?

"Well," James smirks back up at him. "I was just so taken with how handsome you look tonight."

Gordon falters a little, colour leaping onto his face. James has never been brave enough to flirt before, but if Gordon is going to initiate, then James can match him.

"Obviously," Gordon manages to catch himself. "You must've liked the blue."

He nods towards James' pocket square, and James shakes his head with a smile. "And I can see you went to match too," he nods at Gordon's flower. Gordon pulls him in close as another, less-coordinated couple barrel past, before letting James migrate back to normal dance distance.

"Do you mean it? You think I'm handsome?"

"Of course I do," James' grin has dropped into something far softer. "I think you're splendid."

Gordon meets his eyes with a look that James has literally no other word to describe except tender.

"We need to talk, don't we?"

"I'm listening now."

Gordon swallows, and they have to come to a stop as the song ends, and they along with the crowd politely clap for the musicians, before a quickstep starts. James' face lights up, and Gordon grins.

"Time to do some laps?"

"Absolutely."

They are the fastest and most fluid pair on the floor. James's dresscoat flairs out behind them in a stunning way as they go all but flying past, and they are left panting and laughing and stumbling off the floor as people not only applaud the band but applaud them too. They find somewhere to sit as they catch their breath.

Edward appears put the crowd, Henry in tow. "That," he says, "was the most impressive thing I've seen all month."

James chortles and slumps back, slumps back against Gordon without thinking, feeling Gordon tense and then yield.

"You were doing well too," Gordon nods at Henry. "James wasn't learning to dance from square one."

"Just let a man be jealous in peace," Henry grumbles jokingly, sitting down next to James with an omph. "I don't know how you manage being on your feet for that long sometimes."

"Gordon," Edward turns to him with a glint in his eye. "Dance? For old time's sake?"

Gordon fights down his smile but gets up with almost no hesitation. He glances at James. "I'll be back," he says.

"Sure thing," James waves them off. "Show them all up."

James sits back and watches the crowd, him and Henry bantering as they sit.

Suddenly, someone has cut through the crowd to join them. James looks up to see it's none other than Scot Gresley himself, and nearly chokes on his freshest flute of champagne.

"Hello, Henry, James," Scot says warmly, and Henry greets him back. James almost goes to comment on how they're so friendly but the cut of their noses reminds him of all the drama from a few years back. Henry's sort of a Gresley too, he always forgets. They've met before.

"James, that was just wonderful work out on the floor," Scot turns to him, and James tries not to flush. "Would you dance with me?"

James stares at him. Henry's stiff with surprise beside him. Scot extends his hand, and after a second or two, James hesistantly takes it, and lets Scot lead him to the dance floor. He shoots a look over his shoulder at Henry, who mouths "good luck" at him has he goes.

They are out on the floor before James knows it, and it's very surreal to be lead through the steps he now knows so well by the other Gresley brother, but Scot is somehow even faster and even lighter on his feet, and James has to really concentrate on keeping up. But soon, another slow song starts, and Scot seems to relax, and shoots James a wink. "Just wanted to test how good a teacher my brother is," he banters. "You've both done well."

James smiles politely and thanks him.

"...You seem to make him quite happy."

James stumbles a little, before his head snaps up to meet Scot in the eye. Scot has Gordon's brown eyes, but the strength of his sideburns, his eyebrows, the slightly harser set of his face. It's just not quite his Gresley.

"I hope you treat him kindly," Scot says in a low voice, but James flushes despite himself. "Gordon deserves something good to happen to him, and you do seem to bea delight."

"I'll do my best." James' voice shakes. He's suddenly terribly anxious again.

"I'm not asking you this as a celebrity," Scot suddenly adds, his face crumpling with concern. "I'm asking this as his brother."

"Of course." James wants out. Across the floor, he catches Gordon and Edward, and they're both looking at him with concern, and James hopes he doesn't look as upset as he feels. Don't hurt Gordon? He hadn't dreamed of it. He knows very little of Gordon's past but maybe hearing this coming from someone who's probably hurt his friend in the past is what stings. James must be no better.

Scot says nothing more either. But suddenly, a hand taps Scot's shoulder and oh, thank god, it's Gordon and Edward. They must have danced their way across the room to intercept.

"You remember my friend, Edward?" Gordon calls over the hubbub. "He'd love to chat with you."

"Of course," Scot smiles broadly, the practiced smile. He then turns back to James. "A pleasure to meet you," he says, and it does sound surprisingly earnest. "I hope you keep our talk in mind."

"I will," is all James says, and lets Edward take his place with a grateful smile.

Gordon dances their way off the dancefloor, before leading James to the edge of the crowd. They end up pushing past several of their friends and workmates, who shoots James a look of concern.

James ends up leading Gordon into the outside part. It's too stuffy too loud too much in there.

Gordon grabs James by the shoulders and turns him. "What did he say to you?"

"He warned me," James says, trying not to sound bitter. "He said I better not hurt you because you deserve nice things. And he's right, but it rubbed me the wrong way."

"Bloody rich, coming from him," Gordon agrees, before his hands slip down from James' shoulders, down his arms to take James' shaking hands. "Are you okay?"

"Just needlessly upset," James smiles. "I come expecting a good time and I dance with and get threatened by the Flying Scotsman. Not your average evening."

Gordon squeezes his hands. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," James squeezes gently back. "I guess I was insulted he's insinuate that I'd hurt you on purpose. I care about you too much."

They both flush at that. That's the first time either of them have said it.

"That's... heartening to hear," Gordon smiles softly. "And it only took me turning you into the best ballroom dancer on this island."

James laughs, the tension finally leaving, his stomach finally settling.

"I have to admit it too," Gordon's almost whispering. "I've... grown quite fond of you, too."

"That's good." James has stepped a little closer, it just feels right. He is struck with nerves and drops his chin, and starts fiddling with Gordon's tie, but suddenly there's a hand cupping his cheek, and James can't breathe. Gordon tips his head up and smile softly at him.

"Is this okay?"

"Bah!" James tries to laugh past his dark flush. "You say that like I haven't been in love with you for months!"

"Months...?"

James laughs again, bright and a little embarassed, before looking up at the painfully fond expression on Gordon's face and grins.

"Just shut up and kiss me," he says instead.

Gordon rolls his eyes most fondly, before obliging.

This has been the best investment of dancing lessons James has ever had.

When he gets his breath back, finally, he invites Gordon around tomorrow for those acones he promised. Gordon barely has time to accept before James kisses him again.

He hears applause from the doorway, and they break away to see Edward, Henry, Thomas, Percy and god, more, even Toby and Henrietta (who looks gorgeous tonight), Emily, many more who seem to have followed for the show. Gordon just kisses him again, and James flips them all off as lovingly as possibly, as it is accompanied by a round of cheers.

=== === === === ===

Im cryinf this took me like 2 and a half hours to write my habd is cramping LMAO I JUST LIKE 4X5 OK

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[mouseratz]

4x5

-butch never did a damn thing wrong and here we are. I guess he isn't dead though.

-TOXIC SLUTCH

-the Alex plot is actually really fucking good. this shit kinda hurts

-what did he do to Barbara???

-BUTCH? he's like Shrek......

-oh. Solomon Grundy. he deserved better.

-"that's kind of specific."

-hes falling for it. Oh dear....

-HAHA. Ed and Grundy....will they be friends? neither are quite what they used to be a very short time ago.

-THE KEEPS PULLING WEAPONS OUT OF THE POCKETS GAG......

- this is actually really so good.

- THE FUCKIGB HOTDOG....

- Ed and Grundy is a genius pair. I love them so much. So much.

- they're ratatouilling os

- his bad ankle....

- I thought she was gonna be Jim's love interest but maybe not. eh, I'm not too pressed. it's kind of interesting. It's kind of eepy because she's obviously kind of mothering him is my main issue lol if it got romantic that would kinda be ick. but I'll live

- now, you know, THIS is the guy you wanna freeze in an ice block.

- okay! Bruce just did that.

- Ed......would it kill you to be nice?

- hey, is that Jeri? No, her names Cherry.

- so, this is where Lee ended up....

[shrinkthisviolet]

I know you're still working on that 4x5 rewrite where Miyagi-Fang go out for a rumble as revenge for the attack on Hawk, but I wanted to chime in and mention that from a meta standpoint, a street fight would have upped the ante and created tension that really wasn't there at the tournament. And I know you're probably not doing a redux of the prom fight, but let's face it, having a rumble between the attack and prom would make the fight at prom make more sense, as it'd be about revenge rather than...whatever it was about (they didn't have to fall back on the love square, considering that these kids have way better reasons to be mad at each other than romantic entanglements).

These are all valid points! I’m not sure what I’ll do with the prom fight tbh, but it would definitely contribute to this AU in a way it doesn’t really contribute to canon (in canon, it feels like a one-off, but in the AU, it would feel like the tensions from a rumble still continuing to exist, and also revenge, like you said)

[blowingbells]

tritype 945

459

If you are 459 is described as being intuitive, knowledgeable, an accepting. You want to be original, wise and peaceful. Highly self aware and reflective, you are very shy, reserved and self conscious. You need regular quiet time to reflect on your thoughts and emotions. Easily flooded with emotion, it is difficult for you to voice your feelings and ideas to others.

Your life mission is to delve deeply into the mysteries of life and share your insight with others. A true philosopher (also, contemplative), you are happiest when you can write about your discoveries and discuss them with others. Making sense of your world is a never ending quest.

You can be so focused on your inner world that you can become inhibited and appear to be indifferent to others. Insecure, you become moody and expect others to initiate and come toward you.

your growing edge is to recognize that your need to pull away into the private world of your making to ponder your thoughts and feelings keeps you from engaging with others. true contemplation leads to higher knowing that we are all connected in the universal unconscious.

*Most withdrawn/introspective-459, 954, 549

The 416, 459 and 469 all struggle with painful self-consciousness and inhibition.

Both the 451 and 459 are reserved and introspective and self conscious. The 451 is very critical of themselves and others.They are very particular and have a lot of shoulds. They can be strident. Dissatisfaction is visible as their energy can be prickly. The 459 is more reserved and passive. They wait to be included. They are approachable but hope that others will come towards them. They are quiet in their demeanor. They project a sense of stillness. Their energy is soft and yielding. Dissatisfaction is hidden like in the 479.

The 954 is more contemplative and the the 952 will be more focused on others.

9s have a great capacity for depth, they just avoid conflict. Introspective 9s with 5 in the tritype are the intellectual 9s. (9s with 4 are the deep, emotional 9s. The 9 with the 459 tritype is all of the above.

The 459 is the most reclusive type on the Enneagram. They are humble, modest and discreet. They can be ethereal and dreamy They are passive and unassertive. They are shy but usually display a pleasant countenance. They have complex inner worlds. the objective with the subjective. They are gentle, sensitive and avoidant. Since they are so reserved, they express their anger in a passive-aggressive manner.

459 is a triple withdrawn...I imagine 459 to be more removed and cut off as a way of addressing any inner anxiety.

Yeah you would have a difficult time with the triple withdrawn 459, many people do because their withdrawal and withholding feels harsh or very uninvolved. That's the type most likely to not realize their anger until much later, or not express it at all because they get stuck in not expressing themselves and experiencing everything more internally. The 1 in your tritype makes you more likely to exprsss discontent or negativity while the 7 still wants to keep things light and airy. The 459 can have a heavy feeling which can be daunting to someone desiring to keep things positive and productive as your tritype or the 371 might be inclined to do.

A 459 would be pretty comfortable with separateness and solitude. [459]: Differences with 469 comes from the differences between 5 and 6 minds. 5 is like a withdrawn mind working alone to handle situations, life, and understanding, while 6 is more oriented to connections with collectivity and other people with thoughts. It's a receptive/expressive mind, using people as support for understanding and guidance. While 5 is more working alone, with its own maps and ideas.

As for the 4 5 9 part, ..It speaks to me, because it points to the actual awareness of the lack of love and the feeling of separateness for a 9. 5s and 4s are normally described as having the experience most rooted in separateness. Perhaps the distinctions are finer though. 5s representing a feeling of separateness of self, 4 representing separateness of identity, and 9 representing an awareness of separateness from "love" or from the "whole" of the universe.

E4 has the tri fixes 468 and 495 to deal with...where 468 push for a response while 459 move away. For example: 4x5 moves away...stops to....push for the response. 4x3 pushes for the response while moving away.

all three Reflective Solutions Enneacards (Enneagram Types: 4, 5 & 9) in your Enneaspread. Naturally reserved and reflective, you see yourself as intuitive, introspective, perceptive and thoughtful. Responsible and diligent, you resist taking action that is not first well considered and thought out. You dislike making sudden changes and prefer to take time to think things through before acting. When opposed, you tend to take a step back or move away from others to evaluate your circumstances to manage problems.

The 945 is very shy, sensitive and introspective. They need time to contemplate before taking action

594: Accepting and intuitive 5. Most sensitive and withdrawn 5, especially if self-preserving. Tends to be remote.

4-5-9 - The Introvert

A true introvert. The withdrawn likes to delve within them self in order to release their tensions and stress. The more problems that arise in their life the farther the find themselves from the external world.

459 - Knowledgeable and accepting 4. Most withdrawn and introspective 4, often an artisan, especially if self-preserving. Shy.

five with a nine fix: pattern seeking above all. whimsical exploration, disposition of reluctant idealist. open minded, philosophical perspective. can seem to lack focus while associating groupings of information into larger theories. likes people and humanity as a whole, shares ideas and is relatively easy to get along with.

945: Intuitive and knowledgeable 9. Most introspective, withdrawn and reserved 9, especially if self-preserving or introverted [or both].

Another example would be a 4-6-8. Here we have a more aggressive and reactive Type 4 than say a 4-9-5, who would be more withdrawn, passive (9) and avoidant (5).

4-5-9 would rely on their sensations completely. This makes them the most self-focused of the types. Its about what you experience. Like a 9, they tend to avoid things they find uncomfortable (the keyword here is what they find uncomfortable. Not what is generally accepted as uncomfortable). Like a 5, tend to lean towards enrichment. And like a 4, establish their identity towards what they live through. Naturally, what we personally experience in ourselves (our emotions) are a part of what we experience. Since this type is so internally focused, they tend to live the most in their own minds and their own world. Thus, their five-fix tends to gather a lot of information on themselves. Their four-fix and ever changing sensations may make them slightly more likely to feel confused as to who they are. Experiencing this confusion, they may analyze this as a problem and perhaps something that shouldn't be(?). Well, like I said, I'd need to think about it more. But mainly, this fix relies heavily on what they go through and what they live through. Especially on feeling sensations. I'm not really quite sure on what else to say, really 5-4-9: shy, somewhat fragile and a bit romantic, such Fives tend to put on a congenial façade to hide their rich inner worlds from the society. They outwardly appear friendly but reserved, usually mysterious to other people who sense there is more depth and intensity hidden behind their amiable mask. These Fives have rich imaginations and love to immerse themselves in thoughts and fantasies. They are introspective, dreamy, creative and socially withdrawn, but also disorganized and painfully avoidant. typical subtypes: self-preserving, sexual, 5w4 similar tritypes: 5-9-4, 9-5-4, 4-5-9 flavours: insightful, imaginative, enigmatic and unstructured

5-9-4: reclusive, modest, discreet and quite dreamy and unassertive, such Fives possess a vast imagination in which they spend most of their time among their theories, fantasies and vivid memories. They have a somewhat bohemian charm to them – they are relaxed, casual, creative and a bit reckless. Usually pleasant and undisturbed on the outside, they hide complex inner worlds in which reality interweaves with fantasy, real with imaginary, the objective with the subjective. These Fives are gentle, sensitive and avoidant and tend to express their anger in a passive-aggressive manner.

typical subtypes: self-preserving, sexual, 5w4

similar tritypes: 5-4-9, 9-5-4, 4-5-9

flavours: laid-back, unconventional, imaginative and random