#robbing a bank? eh.

[autism-disco]

it’s not fair that evening naps are “bad for me” and “end up making it harder to sleep later” i should be able to sleep now and do whatever later

[angels-fantasy]

Top Secret Fiction Ch. 4

Farmers Market

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Description: After meeting the one and only pro hero Dynamight on a dating app, you two begin to see each other. Because of the dangers that come with his hero work, you both promise to be completely honest with each other from the beginning; though you can't help but keep one big secret from him.

You write fan fiction, mostly about him.

Chapter Details: nothing crazy. another date, katsuki being sweet, reader uses their quirk

Word Count: 1.4k

previous chapter

It's been about two weeks since you went on your date with Bakugou and you haven't seen him since, unfortunately. But it was for good reason - his hero work.

Going into this, you knew he'd be extremely busy, but you didn't think he'd be this busy. But you could understand it. Though something you did appreciate was the fact that he did make time to talk to you on the phone and would let you know when he'd have to go hours without talking.

In these past two weeks you also thought about his serious talk with you, about honesty.

Guilt ate away at you every time you started writing or even thought about it, which made it harder to stay active on your writing account.

Your secret really wasn't that big of a deal, but it was still a secret. Fan fiction was also something that had a bad reputation among people who didn't read it, so who knows how Bakugou felt about it.

Your phone ringing broke you out of your thoughts.

Looking at the caller ID, you saw that it was Bakugou. Smiling, you answered it and said "Hi Bakugou!"

"Hey, you busy right now?" He asked.

You looked around your room, as if that'd give you an answer. "Uh no, why?"

"Good. Can you be ready in like - thirty minutes? I'm free for the rest of the day and I wanna hangout now that I actually have time."

How sweet.

"Yeah I'll be ready by then. Are we meeting somewhere?"

"No, I'm picking you up."

"'Kay, see you then. Bye!"

"Bye."

Hanging up, you squealed into your pillow and then looked at the time. It was only 3:00 pm, so you'd have to be ready by 3:30.

As you rushed to get ready you wondered where Bakugou was taking you. He didn't say you had to dress a certain way, so you went for a casual and comfortable outfit.

He didn't seem like the type to take you somewhere extravagant randomly, so you were sure it'd be somewhere that was pretty relaxed.

After getting ready you noticed you had a few minutes left to spare so you decided to go check on the plants you had around your home.

You had about three plants in your home, all of them ranging from different sizes and types. You didn't have many plants in your home because you already had many at your work place.

You attended to each of your plants needs after they had told you what it is they wanted. One wanted more sunlight, the other was thirsty, and one was just fine.

You looked at your phone to check if Bakugou had texted you, and luckily he did. He had sent a text saying he was outside waiting for you.

You smiled and slipped your shoes on, saying bye to Cheerios and your plants like you always did.

Sliding into the passenger seat you said, "Hey stranger. How've you been?"

He smiled lightly, "Sorry I haven't been able to see you. Work keeps me busy but I'm good, you?"

"I get it. I've been good too though. Has anything interesting happened at work?"

Bakugou brought a hand up to his jaw and stroked it while he thought. "Eh, nothing major. I did stop a bank robbery with Red Riot a few days ago though."

You gasped and turned to him, "A whole bank robbery? I feel like that's such a stereotypical situation... you know? Like, you just see it in movies all the time."

"I know, which is why people usually don't attempt to rob a whole bank" He laughed, "But clearly these guys were idiots."

You laughed at that. "I can't even imagine trying to rob a bank. I mean - where would you even start?

The two of you continued to talk on the way to your destination, which he actually told you about this time. He said that there was a farmers market happening nearby and he actually went there pretty often, so he thought he should invite you along with him which you thought was sweet.

When you arrived it was just as you expected and it seemed to be quite busy.

"Wow I can't believe I've never been here before! The decorations are so cute." You said in awe, once you both started walking around.

"You wanna go get food? There's this old dude that sells the best takoyaki at his stand." Bakugou said as you two walked through the crowd.

You nodded, "Yeah I'm down. Takoyaki sounds really good right now - oh and after can we stop at that stand?" You asked, pointing to a stand that was selling crocheted stuffed animals.

He nodded and then held out a hand, "So you don't get lost in the crowd."

Yeah right.

You smiled and grabbed his hand, letting him lead the way to the takoyaki stand. Once you got there you met the old man he mentioned and talked to him for a bit. You found out that he made the takoyaki himself and he'd been doing it for over thirty years!

When it came to paying, Bakugou kept insisting that he would pay for your food but you stood your ground and told him you were just fine paying for your own.

He grumbled about it for a while after but eventually got over it. You two then went over to the stand you mentioned earlier, and looked at the stuffed animals for sale.

"They're so cute! I think I'm gonna buy one." You said to Bakugou.

He hummed, "You should get that one." and pointed to a white jumbo bunny wearing pink overalls.

"You're so right." You said and placed your food down so you could grab the bunny and check for a price tag.

Your eyes widened at the price.

"This thing is sixty bucks!" You whispered to him.

"What? Lemme see." He said and grabbed the bunny from you to look at the tag. His eyebrows raised a bit at the price. "Tsk, I can make this shit myself."

"You crochet?" You asked.

"Sometimes..." He said and looked away.

You laughed and then grabbed the bunny back from him. "Well, I guess it's goodbye bunny. You're just too expensive." You said and sadly put the bunny back where it once was, making sure to grab your takoyaki.

"Wanna go sit under that tree?" You asked and pointed to a large tree with a bench underneath it.

Bakugou nodded and you began making your way over to the bench.

Once you got there you both continued to eat your food in a comfortable silence. Looking up at the tree, you used your quirk and listened.

"This tree has seen a lot of things." You smiled.

"Whaddya mean?" He asked around his food.

"My quirk. I just used it and listened to the tree. She said she's seen a lot of interesting things in this spot, good and bad." You said and listened some more, "Proposals are the most common."

Bakugou smiled, "The tree really said all that?"

"Yeah! Trees have such interesting stories because they've been around so long." You said excitedly.

He looked up at the tree, "I guess I never thought about it like that."

After some more talking and eating, Bakugou offered to throw away your trash for you, which you accepted. He told you to wait at the bench for him, so you did.

It was taking him a bit longer than you thought it would so you began to worry a bit. As you were biting your lip in thought, a touch on your shoulder made you jump.

"Didn't mean to scare ya."

You placed a hand on your chest, "Jeez! You walk so quietly I didn't hear anything."

Bakugou smirked, "Here, I got you something."

He handed you a large, brown paper bag and watched as you looked inside.

"The bunny!" You gasped and pulled it out of the bag. "But it was so expensive, why did you buy this?!"

He shrugged, "You wanted it, and I guess it's okay to look at."

You looked at the bunny intensely and rubbed its head.

"It's so cute... Thank you so much." You said.

"It's not problem, just make sure to name it after me." He joked.

You clicked your tongue and smacked him with the bunny.

...

You guys had ended up spending the rest of the day together, finally leaving the farmers market around 8:30 pm.

When Bakugou pulled up to your house, you hesitated before getting out.

"You good?" He asked.

"Yeah, um. Do you wanna come inside?" You asked quietly.

He smiled the widest you've ever seen him smile and said, "Yeah. Will your plants be okay with it?"

"Har har." You said while rolling your eyes and got out the car, leading him into your house.

next chapter

authors note

sorry for the little cliff hanger :3

also, here's the bunny katsuki bought reader

taglist: @doumadono @54fangirl @andysdrafts @dagger-dragger @lovra974 @l4rsun1vrrse @emmab3mma @littlkittenfan @tatiquichi @cloudxluv @seonne @shonen-brainrot @the2ndl @gold24fish @cxp1d @rv19 @gina329

(those in pink couldn't be tagged)

[kira-fluff]

hello! if its okay with you, i’d like to request fluff/comfort with mikey from tr. i’ve been in a mental slump lately and contrary to the whole “worst boyfriend” ranking, i feel like he’d be great at comfort if we gave him the chance :3

whatever you need - mikey sano x fem!reader

after getting let go, you'd been struggling. thank goodness for boyfriends. (fluff/comfort) tw: language, mental health struggles, getting fired a/n: i hope you've been feeling better as of late. just finished my last exam, i have a presentation tomorrow, but i'm not worried about it. thankfully finals are mostly over so i have time to write! thanks for requesting. i love me some mikey. worst boyfriend slander will not be tolerated!! i gotchu

you couldn't seem to catch a break. just when you thought you were crawling out of this hole you didn't even dig yourself, something (or someone) would push you down further. was there really a way out? nope. clearly not. of course you were fired. well, "let go" as he said. your asshole of a boss sat you in his office and said, "i'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go." like it was this sad, reluctant choice he simply had to make. a sacrifice. but you could tell by his expression he was anything but remorseful. the worst part was that the company was flooded with cash, and you'd not be prideful to say you were a major contributor in that success. so why were you let go? because the business was "expanding" and therefore, there needed to be "reprioritizations" made. which basically just means you weren't worth keeping on board the ship. probably because you're a woman and god forbid any female succeed in the workplace. whatever. fuck him. it was all so overwhelming anyway. your sleep schedule was - is - fucked. all the work you're putting in and was it even worth it?

you ignored the sense of dread pooling in your stomach whenever your eyes happened a glance on your bank app. funds weren't going to be coming in any time soon. sighing, you powered off your phone, chucking it to the side of your bed. before you realized it, a week had passed. a week of productivity? no. a week of bed-rotting. a week of napping, getting up to eat a few crackers, and then trudging back to sleep. it's what you deserved for busting your ass for an ungrateful corporation and an ungrateful piece of shit boss. you just wanted to close your eyes forever and forget about the world for a little bit. was that so wrong? mikey was gone visiting takemichi, so it's not like you needed to try to look cute. just a little longer. just a little longer.

-

you heard a faint thudding sound. you groaned and rolled over on your bed, covers twisted around your form, your hair tangled and knotted. the sound was getting louder. were you getting robbed? eh, what does it matter. it wasn't like you had anything of value in here anyway. covering your ears with your pillow, you burrowed deeper into your blankets, basking in their warmth. thankfully, the thudding noise stopped. it was probably just your dryer, which you're fairly certain is possessed by satan (not that you'd done laundry in... awhile.) your peace was short lived. suddenly, you heard a sound that was suspiciously akin to the bolt of your front door being unlocked. your eyes shot open, but you were too scared to move as you heard your front door burst open. maybe they won't know i'm here if i just lie still. maybe they'll think i'm dead. loud steps made a beeline for your room - a voice getting closer, mumbling something under their breath. if you got up now, the intruder would surely know. throwing the covers over your face, you hoped maybe they'd mistake you as some extremely large body pillow. the thief stopped at the entrance to your room. you held your breath, hoping he'd move on and maybe steal your microwave instead. could this month get any worse? there was an exasperated sigh. "what are you doing." it wasn't a question, more just a statement. and you recognized that voice. shit. what's the date today? the mystery intruder, you realized, was actually your boyfriend mikey. but he sounded kind of pissed. so... you decided to play dead a little longer. the loud thumps of his boots came closer to you and without warning, he ripped the covers off of your body before returning his hands to his pockets. his eyebrow raised in a mix of confusion and perhaps a bit of concern. he repeated, "what are you doing, y/n?" you blinked up at him slowly, your eyes trailing up and down his body. "you look nice. back from takemichi's?" he moved closer. "you weren't answering any of my calls or texts. couldn't even find your location. did you turn off your phone?" your brows furrowed in puzzlement. you looked around your room, realizing it had been at least a couple days since you'd last seen your phone, much less heard from it. you were shocked to find it lying next to you. pressing the power button, you watched the screen ignite back to life. "oh. sorry. turned it off. i was tired." his voice rose in frustration, "for how long? i tried to text you on monday and you didn't answer." you paused. "...what day is it today...?" mikey's eyebrows rose in worry. "it's sunday. i've been trying to get ahold of you for almost a week. y/n, what's going on?" you frowned, biting your lip to stop it from quivering and shook your head. don't cry. don't cry. don't cry.

"got fired. yay..." you said with no enthusiasm, your voice breaking at the end of your sentence. he blinked. "what? when?" "last friday. well, last last friday, i guess." his shoulders lowered and he let out a deep sigh, running his fingers through his hair. "shit, i was so worried i sounded like such an asshole just now. 'm sorry babe." slowly, he sat down next to you on your bed, shucking off his boots. "he didn't even give me a good reason. like, they're "expanding"?? doesn't that mean you can afford to keep your most loyal workers??" "i always fuckin' hated that guy." "i just--" you tried (and failed) to hold back a sob, "i just don't know what i could've done differently!" you cried, tears streaking down your cheeks. "it's not a 'you' problem, babe, it's their fucking loss." "but there had to have been something i did wrong!" "there isn't." "maybe i should've--" "hey, look at me. please?" you stopped midsentence, adjusting your gaze to meet his eyes for the first time. cupping your cheek in his palm he smiled sadly, "sometimes it's not you. sometimes there's nothing you coulda done better in a situation because you weren't the problem to begin with. and that's ok, because you don't deserve to be around piece of shit people like that anyway, ya know?" "i know, but--" "but nothing. i know i can't convince you, but i want you to know that i think you deserve the fucking moon. i'd get it for you if you asked. somehow." you laughed wetly, "well, you do have connections." a corner of his mouth turned up. "yeah." his voice was uncharacteristically soft as he pulled a strand of your hair back behind your ear. "and 'm gonna take care of you know, you know that. whatever you want. whatever you need tonight. i'll make it happen, ok?" "it's just... what i need is a job, and i've just been lazing around all week and i don't even know where to start..." without a moments hesitation he said, "work for me." "but wouldn't that be--" "i'm the boss, i make my own rules. shit, you don't even have to work. like i said, i'll take care of you." "no, no i want to work. but i'm probably not qualified enough to work for you..." "who says?" "well, you haven't even looked at my resume...isn't that, i don't know, kind of nepotism-ish?" mikey grinned. "yeah, because everyone else that works for me got their jobs through hard work." "ok, ok, but...thank you. ok." you sighed. "it's gonna be ok. 'm here now."

-

mikey truly meant it when he said he'd take care of you. as soon as he helped dry your tears, he got your into your bathtub and helped you wash up, gently massaging shampoo and conditioner into your scalp while you scrubbed soap on your arms. he sprinkled light kisses on your forehead and cheeks as he helped you dry off. when you finally settled back into bed, cozy and clean, mikey was right there by your side. not ten minutes later, your favorite chocolate and ice cream was delivered to your door. when you turned back to say thank you, he waved you off, gesturing you to come back to your bed so you both could watch a movie. in the best way, mikey helped you forget. or at least let go. in a way. you spend the rest of the weekend binging your favorite shows. what others might not suspect is just how physical mikey is in his affection. he was showed more than told, and it was the same in his love for you. in those moments you spent together, he clung to your side, as if he had to have at least some part of his body touching yours at all times. when at last he had to leave to go back to his penthouse to "make some calls" (you suspected he had mountains of work to do), he'd already tried to convince you at least a dozen times to move in with him, which you staunchly refused because 1) you can't afford to help pay for whatever the hell he pays to live in a fucking penthouse and 2) you're not about to freeload. but as he said his final goodbye with a chaste kiss on your lips, you wondered if maybe you could finally give in and let someone take a little more care of you, after all, he'd shown you just what it felt like to not have to worry so much about your own needs.

-

back at his penthouse, mikey quickly dialed a familiar number. "hey. it's me. yeah. think you can take care of it for me?" there was a pause. "i don't care what you do to him so long as it's painful." another pause. "make sure to keep this underwraps. remember, it's all an 'accident'. if you can't do it, i'll go take care of it myself. bye."

a/n: mmm protective mikey y'all

[juicebox72664]

Incorrect Heartstopper quotes

*The squad is visiting a store late at night to return a DVD for Nick.* Tao: I forget—what happens if we don't return the DVD before midnight? Charlie: Then Nick gets charged extra. It's called a "late fee." Darcy: Or was it a zombie apocalypse? Eh, I don't remember, but we can't afford either.

Isaac, looking at the squad: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

*Imogen and Darcy are planning to break in somewhere.* Imogen: We need to distract the guards. Darcy: Right. Imogen: What are we gonna do? Darcy: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes. Imogen: Darcy: Imogen: Deal.

Isaac: We're going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo. Isaac, to Darcy and Tao: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms. Isaac, to Elle: Velma, you get the spooky-looking fridge in the basement. Elle: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the... dubious-looking device? Isaac: Because only Velma would say "dubious device." Elle gets the spooky fridge in the basement. Tara: Does that make you Fred? Isaac: Bitch, I'm Daphne.

Tara: If you got arrested, what would be the charges? Nick: Theft. Darcy: Disturbing the peace. Tao: Aggravated assault. Charlie: Arson. Isaac: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Elle in a room with Imogen, Darcy, and Tao: It's calm in here. Elle: It scares me.

Computer: Please enter a password. Nick: *Types in Charlie.* Computer: Your password is too weak. Nick: How fucking DARE YOU-

Tao: Why isn't the statue smirking at me? Elle: It isn't smirking at anyone; they're all just imagining it. Imogen: Three of us saw it, Elle. How do you explain that? Elle: *Points at Charlie* Sleep deprivation. *Points and Imogen* Paranoia. *Points at Darcy* Delusional personality disorder.

Darcy: I bet you're wondering why I gathered you here today. It's because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room aren't getting along with other people in this room. Nick: Why did you say that so vaguely? Tao and I are literally the only people you called in here.

Darcy: *Sees Nick and Charlie together.* Darcy: They're so cute, I want to put them in a boat. Elle: You mean... you ship them?

Darcy: *Holding a salt packet* It's just a little sodium chloride. Isaac: Actually, Darcy, it's salt. Darcy: That's what I said, sodium chloride. Isaac: Uh, Darcy, that would be salt. Isaac: *Takes salt packet from Darcy.* This is iodized table salt, which, in addition to sodium chloride, contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent oidine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminologies for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall.

Darcy, Tao, and Charlie: *Screaming.* Tara: *Runs into the room.* What's wrong, Charlie?! Darcy: Wait, why are you asking Charlie that when Tao and I are also here? Tara: Because Charlie wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

Darcy: Wasn't Icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? Tara: ICARUS?

Charlie: Tao, what are you doing? Tao: *Shaking a cat-shaped piggy bank.* I'm just trying to figure out how much change I have inside. Charlie: You could always take it out and count it. Tao: Where's the fun in that?

Nick: We're going to a candy store?! CHarlie: No! It's nighttime; candy stores are closed. Darcy: We're gonna ROB a candy store?!?! Charlie, sighing: No-

Charlie: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Isaac: Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Imogen: That's deep. Tao: That means ketchup is a smoothie. Darcy: That's deeper. Elle: ...You guys are idiots.

Tori: I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words.

Darcy: So, what? Now I'm just supposed to do anything Elle does? I mean, what if she jumped off a cliff? Tara: If Elle were to jump off a cliff, she would've done her due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Elle jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff. Darcy: You jump off a cliff! Tara: Gladly, provided Elle did first.

Tao: *FInds a half a watermelon at Whole Foods.* Tao, holding it up for everyone to see: LIES!

Imogen: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up! Tara: Throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip! Elle: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill! Nick: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out! Charlie: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times! Darcy: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up! Tori: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.

Tao, tearing up the room: Where are they? Tao, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children? Tao: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I'm going to start killing.

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

Do you remember the times before Felix appeared in the series as a cousin and the fandom turned Felix into Adrien's twin brother? Those were the times…

And remember how "Blanc Cat" had blonde hair but red/purple eyes? To be honest, I prefer the fandom version (And it was created long before the show appeared)

I don't know, it's just that the series was the best back then and so was the fandom, but then it started to deteriorate… And yes, by Thomas Astruc

I love coming back to "Ladybug PV" and fan animations, but to the series… I just don't…

Not so much that I grew out of it, but because all the magic of this series simply evaporated…

Now that I have your attention:

---------------------------------------

Eh… It's just my feelings towards this series… Only SVTFOE was worse…

But yes, remember about the collections at the top!

[probably-flowers-and-cats]

math isn't mathing anymore

I've remembered that approximately only six months had passed since the Kudo's shrinkage event. I checked how many cases were solved by Conan (so, only those that were in Conan's life, not Shinichi's).

six months is 180 days (60×30)

according to the Conan's Wiki, Conan solved 291 cases (manga only; no idea when was the last update, but I will pick this number).

then 291÷180 = 1.61 case per day. 2 cases per day, we're taking whole numbers.

2 cases per day. 6 months. without any rest from murders, robbings, kidnappings. with a constant thought deep inside his mind that he and all he loves could be dead if he spills the beans. being stabbed, shot, poisoned, kicked out of the room, yelled at, ignored.

one tiny question.

damn, Kudo, are you alive there, eh? ARE YOU STILL SANE AFTER ALL? THERE'S THE NEXT SIX MONTHS PLANNED AHEAD FULL OF THE SAME SHIT.

you need freaking therapy, not dating Ran.

Ran also needs therapy.

all of them need THERAPY. GOSHO GIVE ALL OF THEM DAMN THERAPY AND UNLIMITED BANK ACCOUNT. TWO CASES PER DAY. HOLY DAMN CRAP. THEY WILL SPEND THE WHOLE LIFE JUST TELLING ABOUT THIS ONE YEAR TO THE SEVENTEENTH THERAPIST THEY WILL GET. BECAUSE OTHER SIXTEENTH WERE LITERALLY NEEDED THEIR OWN THERAPY.

[aliceisathome]

Century of Love is just AMAZING. It's got everything; comedy, romance, drama, tragedy, mystery, action and fantasy plus killer bods, some satisfactory bad guys and now a great child actor who's managed to embody the 120 year old boomer Daou's playing perfectly. He' manages to have the exact same FFS expression on his face as the adult San when he looks at Vee.

I like Vee's grandma as well - she's completely supportive of her beautiful grandson's Pan or Bi identity. See San, not all old people need to be OLD. Learn something. I wonder who the handsome man that saved her life when she was young could have been? It's a mystery. Ahem.

Ep 2 also gives us shirtless Daou x 2 (hooray), but newly buff shirtless Offroad sadly at a zero.

In tropes we have fall on to my lips AND both boys with a touch my lips and think of him. Proper old school tropes so corny they're great. I am going to start keeping count.

Can we all agree that the uncle's a scoundrel yes? And lying about Vee's record for nefarious reasons. Probably banking on San dying so that his family can inherit everything and he can rob them blind. Either that or working with mysterious sick guy for a big payoff because how did this random bloke even know about the five colour stone eh? Actually now i think about it

Things we learned:

San hasn't been able to get it up since the curse so his wet dream literally broke a 100 year old dry spell.

San turns into a kid for a night once a month - this timing means he'll probably be a child the night of the goddess's birthday.

San's family share information and are happy to tease the old man.

Vee has a good, sensible head on his shoulders.

Everyone's really good at fighting with knives.

This series is going to fill the giant hole Wandee Goodday and My Stand In are going to leave when they finish. It makes me happy.

[superman-the-secret-third-thing]

JOKER AND LUTHOR TEAM-UP FOR THE FIRST TIME LET'S GOOOOOO

World's Finest Comics #87 "Superman's and Batman's Greatest Foes!" (1987)

Eh. It was okay. They built robots and put them into peril so Superman and Batman would get embarrassed when they rescue them, and then at the final showcase, leave robots of themselves and go to rob a bank, only to find out the Supe and Bat at the showcase are also robots.

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

Hey. I’m tired. I guess you are too. Do you – do you want some H/V fluff with trans girls? I think we could all use fluff with trans girls. Let’s go.

*

Through the Mirror

Before accessing Villainess’ lair, you had to step in a hall of mirrors. It was like entering inside a huge crystal ornament. Knowing the owner, Heroine supposed it was meant to have some symbolic sense, something like “dare to know yourself before daring to catch me,” or some pretentious message like that. Granted, it was confusing for the potential intruders. Heroine used to hate that hall. Now, she was pleased to find out it was nearly reposing. There was no guard in that part of the lair. It was just her and her hundred twins. She secretly thought that all of them looked quite good. Her stance was so much more self-assured than before. Her brand-new suit was better, too. Dull colors like dark green or blue or gray had worn out their welcome. She was a Heroine, she wanted something that popped. The costuming department had grumbled, lectured her a bit about the seriousness of her mission, but she hadn’t budged. Eventually, they complied. Now a vivid pink and blue skirt floated around her tights.

“Nice look,” said a voice from the hidden microphone.

“Thanks.”

“Come on in.”

One of the mirrors shuddered. Heroine pushed it back and entered.

Villainess’ hidden place looked like a comfortable but plain living room. Pale brown walls surrounded a large table covered with notebooks and sheets of papers, another table with a TV on it, and a huge, old couch who had seen better days. That was all. Villainess was there, arms crossed behind her head, laid down on the couch. She examined Heroine with a critical look, then raised an eyebrow.

“White boots,” she said. “Bold choice. Is that some kind of message? Something like “I’m so skilled I won’t even dirty them with the blood of my foes?”

Heroine clasped her hands behind her back.

“ The message is I liked them.”

“Ah.”

“Not everything has to have subtext.”

“Most things do, though.”

Heroine pulled out two bottles of beer from her belt:

“Fine. So if I have two of these with me, can you deduce the meaning of their presence?”

Villainess held out an arm. Her guest sighed and stepped forward to give her the bottle.

“Can you spare a bit of strength to scoot over, or is it too much to ask?”

The dreaded woman that made cities tremble in fear didn’t answer, too busy to open the bottle without exercising any actual effort. Heroine shook her head. Taking upon herself to move the long pair of legs on the couch to the ground, she sat on the free space.

“Give me that.”

“No, wait a minute. I need to prepare myself psychologically for my inevitable sitting up.”

“Didn’t we fight for hours last week?

“Yes, that’s the consequence of that.”

Seven days ago, Villainess had suddenly threatened to explode all the banks of the cities, which was news for everybody. Until then, she was only used to rob them blind. Some bankers had taken offense of the sudden abruptness. Heroes had been called, even Superhero, but no one could catch her. At a last resort, the agency had remembered that Heroine had always kept her in check.

“So, how are you enjoying your last victory against me?”

Heroine took her own bottle into her hands, fidgeting with it:

“It’s nice. Most people are kind to me now. Superhero even told me to keep doing whatever I was doing with my hormones if they made me that much better.”

“Idiot.”

“He really has no idea how it works.”

She sighed:

“But yeah, seems like people is okay with the new me. All it took was a whole afternoon of fighting with collateral damage all around.”

“Eh, you know how people are; morals are nice, but spectacular is better. I had to make one building or two collapse to prove a point.”

“Which is?”

“I’m awesome. And so is the woman able to stop me.”

Heroine blushed.

“Not really. We cheated.”

“Nah. I just told you my plan in advance and you just told me when the other heroes were trying to ambush me. I’m calling that good planing. Cooperation is so much better than competition.”

It was true that it was her motto. None of the banks could have been robbed without the active help of several employees. Heroes were still trying to decipher the genius way she was infiltrating the security system while someone else was just opening the door for her. It was said employees who had helped the evacuation of the buildings before the official fight. No casualties. There was no need. There was never any need.

Heroine knew that since long ago, but since she had better fish to fry and villains who actually murdered people to stop, she generally looked the other way. They were warily avoiding each other, until the day Heroine had officially announced she wasn’t Hero anymore. The quality of the news coverage concerning her had wildly declined until she’d received a text from an unknown number:

I have a plan. Let’s show the world who you are.

It’d worked.

With a weary sigh, Villainess pushed herself back up. Their fight had not been faked at all, and she still was bruising everywhere. Heroine looked at her tossing back her long hair and finally opening her bottle.

“Thank you,” she said.

Villainess shrugged:

“Hey, you’re welcome. You were there when I came out. You gave me that doctor’s address and voila, it’s going to be five years on hormones in two weeks.”

“How does that feel?”

“I’ve never been happier in my life.”

Heroine smiled and raised her drink:

“Here’s to you.”

“Here’s to us.”

*

Back to Hero x Villain Masterlist

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

Ryuji, going up to fight Yaldabaoth: Remember when we just robbed banks, eh? What innocent times those were.

[stinkrascal]

🐺

TRANSCRIPT

picture one klaus: do you know where we're going? vaughn: eh... sorta. klaus: maybe we should turn back. getting lost doesn't seem like a good idea. vaughn: we're not lost, okay? i know what i'm doing.

picture two vaughn: i thought you don't got no emotions? so why are you worrying so bad? klaus: i'm not worrying. i only think it's the right thing to do. vaughn: man, if i was you and i didn't feel no way about nothing, i'd be robbing banks and shit. klaus: that sounds troublesome.

picture three vaughn: hey, since you got powers and stuff, does that make you super strong? klaus: well, i suppose so. i'm stronger than humans. vaughn: so you think if we see a bear, you're cool to fight it? klaus: i don't know. i've never fought anyone before, especially not a bear.

picture four vaughn: no one? for real? damn, mr. goody two shoes. klaus: have you fought before? vaughn: fuck, yeah. got my ass beat too. klaus: oh. i'm sorry.

picture five vaughn: don't be. it don't hurt after the first time. i met annie 'cause of it, so it's not so bad. klaus: you and annie fought? vaughn: [ laughs ] no, no—when we were in school together, these jackasses used to mess with her a lot.

picture six vaughn: they used to be on my ass too, but it didn't bother me that much. it bothered her bad, though.

picture seven vaughn: i tried fighting them, but i just got my ass beat instead. ma was so pissed i got myself suspended. i was grounded for weeks.

picture eight vaughn: kinda figured annie would've forgotten about it by the time i came back.

picture nine vaughn: but she didn't. she waited for me.

picture ten vaughn: we been friends ever since. klaus: i didn't know that. vaughn: yeah. [ chuckles ] she's great.

picture eleven vaughn: [ inhales deeply ]

picture twelve vaughn: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

picture thirteen klaus: what was that for? vaughn: it feels good to let it out sometimes!

picture fourteen klaus: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

picture fifteen vaughn: [ laughing ] sounds like you been holding that one in, my man!

picture sixteen klaus: ...

picture seventeen vaughn: hey, do you see that? klaus: see what? vaughn: that, over there. you don't see it?

picture eighteen vaughn: someone's dog got lost. klaus: a dog?

picture nineteen frankie: [ low growling ] klaus: um... that's not a... vaughn: w-what the—

picture twenty vaughn: FUCK! RUN!

picture twenty-one klaus: h-hey...

picture twenty-two vaughn: [ screaming ]

picture twenty-four klaus: leave him alone.

picture twenty-five vaughn: holy—holy fucking shit—is he—is it fucking dead?

picture twenty-six klaus: i—i don't know. vaughn: what the fuck did you do to it? klaus: i—i don't—

picture twenty-seven klaus: haaaah, shit, that—that really hurts. vaughn: a-are you okay? klaus: [ groans ] my stomach.

picture twenty-eight vaughn: c'mon man, we gotta get outta here! klaus: w-wait! vaughn!

picture twenty-nine klaus: [ yelling ] wait for me!

[aita-blorbos]

WIBTA for getting revenge against the person that ruined my life?

I (36M) am (still am, losing your job doesn't get rid of a persons PHD) a scientist that specializes in theoretical physics and studies of the multiverse. Until around a year and a half ago I had a job at a prestigious science facility, where I designed a device that would transport anything from other dimensions to ours (we had to set it off a little bit ahead of schedule, but overall, I'd say I did a good job with the timeframe I was given!).

This is where a person I'll call SM comes in.

One of the tests I ran on the device involved bringing a radioactive spider from another dimension to ours, but unfortunately, it escaped and bit him, which resulted in him gaining amazing powers, and becoming a superhero (he killed the spider right after it bit him, BTW.) (just thought I should bring that up.) (really stellar guy, takes important moments in his life REAL seriously.) (I don't think text is doing a good job conveying how sarcastic I am being right now, so to clarify: I AM BEING REALLY SARCASTIC.).

My first face-to-face meeting with SM was brief, but impactful. It happened when he and another important-but-not-so-relevant-to-the-story-guy broke in to my (ex) workplace a day before we were going to set off the device for real, all so that they could steal top secret information from us....And a bagel?! Which SM actually used as a projectile to HIT ME WITH (what kind of person DOES THAT? And with so much unnecessary force, too!)

Then, a day later, he blew up my invention WHILE I WAS STILL IN THE ROOM. I wasn't even one of the people fighting him, all I was trying to do was grab a canister of the dark energy my device was generating, but he didn't care at all that I was there!

Because of him blowing up that machine, I was turned in to...Something else. I don't have a face anymore, and my entire body is covered with these holes. Things fall through them all the time, and it leads to all sorts of embarrassing accidents that always cause people to laugh at me.

Not only that, but by doing this, he also made me lose my job, which was practically my entire life. I look so grotesque, my own family won't even LOOK AT ME, and I can't even get a new job to support myself because of the way my condition makes me look!

So that means by the time SM and I finally met again, I was so dangerously low on funds, I had to resort to a life of crime! I decided to jumpstart it by robbing an ATM machine because that's pretty harmless and easy, isn't it? I mean, it's a machine, nobody loses anything from me taking from one of those, besides for the bank, but who cares about them? They steal from people all the time! I'd hardly say it's a villainous act to take from them, except for the fact that robbery is illegal. Anyway, the shopkeeper assaulted me for trying to steal from the ATM machine.

Maybe I should have seen that one coming.

...Eh, whatever.

It only gets worse from here, because then, out of nowhere, SM shows up, makes fun of me, and then cuts me off while I tried explaining to him who I am and why I should matter to him, just so he could read a text. Which is just unbelievably rude, and tbqh, pretty unheroic!

He spent the rest of what was SUPPOSED to be our epic battle on his phone, texting some person. This fight was meant to be a huge deal for both of us, and he didn't take it seriously at all, he barely even bothered to look at me for a majority of it. At one point, he even webbed me up and left in the middle!

Our fight did eventually resume, and midbattle he told some police officer that I was just a "villain of the week", while I was RIGHT THERE!

Eventually, the fight brought as all the way back to the site of the accident, right where our connection first formed. This was finally a point where I had the chance to tell him everything, what I did for him, what he did to me! And even after all that, he still treated me like a JOKE!

I got really mad at that point, which came back to bite me pretty quickly. As in, I accidentally kicked myself in to one of my own holes (like I said before, I have a lot of holes, they go places, one hole took my foot to my own butt, and I fell in to another hole).

But on the bright side, this resulted in me finding out that I'm a transdimensional superbeing. Which gave me an epiphany! I finally know what I want to do now, and how I'm going to do it. There's a lot of science involved, multiversal travel, stuff like that. But the basic idea is that I'm getting payback. The way I see it, he took everything from me, so why shouldn't I get to take everything from him? It makes sense, right? Because of him, I have nothing, so why should he have anything? It's only fair!

So, as long as everything goes according to plan, by the time I'm done, he shouldn't have anything left, and then he'll finally learn to respect me.

....Wow, this came out way longer than I thought it would.

Here's a tl;dr!:

SM ruined my life, WIBTA if I ruined his in return?

[khazadspoon]

If you're still doing prompts can I request #24 Blondie/Tuco? 👉👈🥺

I definitely am!!! I’m up for prompts anytime. If you see one you like whether I’ve reblogged a list or not just send ‘em over!!

24: “That’s a very stupid idea.”

———

“I suggest we bury the gold, a few thousand in each location, and mark it on a map so we can find it again later.”

Blondie didn’t look impressed.

“That’s a very stupid idea.”

Ah. He definitely wasn’t impressed, then.

“Is it? Well, my friend, I think it’s better than taking it all to the same bank. All it takes is the wrong person finding out and then… Boom! The wall is blown up, the safe is gone, and so is our gold! Take it from me, Blondie; robbing a bank is hard but it isn’t impossible.”

He snatched the cigar from Blondie’s lips and took a drag, blew the smoke out in rings as his partner contemplated his unquestionable statement. He could tell Blondie knew he was right. They had both seen the effect of a bank being robbed, had both heard the (slightly exaggerated) list of Tuco’s crimes at more than a handful of short-lived executions. Tuco was no fool.

Blondie thoughtfully rubbed at his chin before taking the cigar back more delicately than it had been taken from him. He pressed his tongue to the end, bit down on it and rolled it from one side of his mouth to the other as though trying to savour the taste. The motion was captivating and Tuco forgot what they were arguing about for a moment.

He mentally shook himself and patted Blondie’s thigh. “Besides… if we both know where it all is, we both have equal responsibility for it right? If something happens, it’ll be just the two of us to blame.”

Blondie levelled him with a look that spoke volumes. It told Tuco he wasn’t happy with the plan, but that it was going to happen despite his feelings on the matter. It was a look Tuco had begun to know very well after finding his ex-partner and now no longer ex-partner with several thousand dollars already spent on liquor and horse tack. And a new pair of boots. And a gun cleaning set that looked far too expensive for what it did.

“Blondie,” he drawled, shuffling closer on the hard dirt and leaning against the taller man, “trust me. I’ve got as much to lose as you have. Maybe more, since I haven’t spent mine yet.”

Blondie smiled, slow and soft and just a little affectionate, the smile he only smiled when it was Tuco he was looking at. “You haven’t spent it yet. And that’s only because you were looking for me.”

Tuco sighed perhaps a little more dramatically than was needed. He rested his hand on Blondie’s thigh and squeezed lightly, didn’t miss the way that smile faltered at the pressure. “I’ll always come looking for you, amigo. We are bound together, you and I, for good or for bad. Why d’you think you can’t get rid of me, eh? There are forces at work stronger than fate when it comes to the two of us.”

Tuco found himself faltering as a hand dropped onto his atop Blondie’s thigh. Their fingers wove together and Blondie squeezed his hand gently. “Yeah,” he said under his breath, “I guess there are.”

His pulse skipped as Blondie watched him for a long time, his body relaxed but something tensing below the surface. For a moment, just a moment, it seemed as though Blondie might kiss him. Tuco kind of hoped he would.

But the man took his hand away and used a stick to poke and prod at the fire.

“Get some sleep, Tuco. We’ll have to figure out some locations tomorrow.”

Tuco bedded down for the night, not sleeping as well as he wanted, still thinking of that moment where anything could have happened.

Forces stronger than fate, he thought, what a strange world they lived in.

[voltrixz]

 Why YOU should go vote for Montana/Shocker (TSSM) in @cartoon-character-competition​

Once again, this is the first time I have managed to get Shocker into a competition which once again is a crime in itself 

And like before you guys might be familiar with Shocker or Montana (even if they are a bit less known then villains like Electro or Doc Ock) (especially for Montana)

You see in TSSM, Montana is Shocker, not Herman as he’s known in the comics. Montana and Herman are different people in the comics but here Montana is essentially Herman but cooler and more skilled.

Montana is your usual merc hired by the big bad guy (or the big man as they call him) that runs a lot of the crime in NY. In episode one he’s hired to defeat spiderman along with his partners and they’re known as the enforcers 

(The enforcers as seen in ep 1) (From left to right: Fancy Dan, Ox and of course Montana) 

and well they’re defeated of course but Montana never gets capture and manages to run off

So when does Montana get that funny pineapple patterned suit? Well in ep 4, Market Forces, Montana is seen stealing that exact funny pineapple patterned suit and handing it over to his boss before about to go on his merry way and putting on his cowboy hat again before being stopped and told to wear the suit and stop spiderman as he still owes them (visibily pissed off at being told to not wear his hat (which is silly to me) (LET HIM WEAR HIS COWBOY HAT!!!!)but grins when being told about his new assignment)  

and so peter is led over to where shocker is by flint and alex (2 criminals who will become major villains later) 

and well shocker does what he does best, FUCK SHIT UP!!!!!!

and whats funnier is his first line to Spiderman is “I reckon that came as a bit of a real SHOCKER eh bug” He fuckin starts off a fight with a fuckin PUN (I love him for that)(its in his subtle himbo coding) and you want to know what else? When asked who exactly Montana is by Spiderman, Montana comes up with a villain name right on the spot and well guess what he chooses? He chooses his INITAL FUCKIN PUN (still love him for that) and well he absoutely destroys spiderman and even picks him up like a wet cat 

either spiderman weighs like nothing or shocker is just REALLY strong 

and well Montana goes off to his bar, just to enjoy a game of 8 ball with a job well done 

(hehe look at him, just enjoying a game of pool ^^ )

that is until well obviously spiderman isnt just gonna say down so Montana is stopped by his boss (cant believe he interrupted his game of pool, you cant do this to him) and he’s sent right back to fight Spiderman 

and well you know how it goes, he’s defeated (SPIDERMAN LITERALLY DROPS AN ENITRE BUILDING ON THIS GUY LIKE??? OK????) but yeah off to jail ig

So what happens next is basically 

- Thanks to Doc Ock and his plan to form the sinister six, he breaks out of jail and joins the sinister six by orders of his boss

- is defeated once again by Spiderman and taken to jail

- doesnt join the next formation of the sinister six sadly (crying coping tossing everything)

- however he comes back with his enforcer partners, now with his partners rocking new suits too 

(as seen here) (they’re robbing a bank btw) (cute things to do with your boyfriends: rob a bank!)

- but yeah once again defeated by spiderman and all of them are tossed to jail

- seen in big jail breakout scene but sadly does not escape 

- and who knows maybe we could have seen Shocker rejoin the sinister six or get up to new silly things (criminal activity) with his partners but erm

Tssm got cancelled as I mentioned before in my electro post so yeah (crying dying coping sobbing kicking everything tossing everything RAGHH)

but yeah shocker is cool as hell and gives me immense gender envy 

like LOOK AT HIM!!!!

need to be him so so bad (the gender envy he gives me is INSANE)(also has made me realize hm i may be queer aroaceflux) 

(he has a resting bitch face and its so silly to me) (yes im just using this as an opprtiunity to show you images of him)

sigh sigh LOVE YOU SHOCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also he is gay and polyam coded as hell!!!!!! um something something why do you work in such a man dominated field? Do you want to be dominated by men? And also um that one thing of “detectives will always go: here’s my partner. erm ok???? 🏳️‍🌈???? but its just “mercs will always go: here’s my partner(s) like ok???🏳️‍🌈??? (not kidding he almost always refers to dan and ox as his partners and also just look at him, he is THE gay cowboy merc ever

but yeah LOVE YOU SHOCKER!!!! THE GAY COWBOY MERC/VILLAIN EVER!!!!!!!!! GO VOTE FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!

[unisnake]

So, Wolf, you want to work at a bank, eh? A surprising choice of job for someone who has a history of robbing banks. And of all the suits you wear, why did you wear the same suit you wore to the charity gala to your job interview?

Wolf: I-I didn't do a job interview at a bank! My job inbetween saving the day is being a play writer! Why would I try to find work at a bank? I want to get away from them entirely!... Though that gala suit would look pretty snazzy for a job interview.

Rhonda: Wolf... This anon is talking about another path that has yet to have been written.

Wolf: 😯

Rhonda: Wolf... The multiverse is infinite, remember.

Rhonda 2: Yes... Infinite.

Wait... If you're here...

Then is there another Splaarghön?

Rhonda: We have our version of him here yes.

Fortunately he is more of a villain of the week than anything else.

Rhonda 2: 😮‍💨

[atangledfate]

" I mean ain't it normal to wanna take a nibble on yer love interest? seems like a normal thing... "

She didn't know much about relationships in truth

" Eh, but nice chick, seems real down to earth... like kind of gal you could go rob a bank with! or pound some blue dorks with! ..."