#riku’s driving thoughts
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Riku’s driving thoughts;
Excuse my bilingual ass this is literally how I think sometimes
If I wrote a fanfic/drew a musical comic with Naruto:
It would be a Nejiten fic however with the sprinkle of other couples. They’d be about 21 (19-20 for the non-team Gai members since canonically, Team Gai is a year older than rookie 9 with Tenten being the oldest with her birthday being March 9th) so like a college AU type of deal.
The boys;
Neji (21)- the bass player. Classically trained in stand up bass and can also play a mean clarinet. When singing his voice is raspy, and has great breath control for hard rock/metal. His voice equivalents are; Arankai, Corey Taylor (slipknot), Brian Welch (korn), Davey Havok (AFI). Mid to deep tone and can def scream puede hacerlo si fuera deadass about it.
Sasuke (20)- Lead vocals, keys/synth and Guitar. Trained also in violin, however switched to guitar to spite his parents. Sasuke is more of an alt-emo-pop punk type of guy. It’s giving Patrick Stump (Fall out boy), Brendon Urie (Panic! At the disco), Brandon Flowers (the killers), Alec Gaskart (All time low), Ryan Key (Yellocard). His octave is higher than Neji’s but he has range. His voice is a bit smoother and he can hold long notes impressively.
Naruto (20)-is def on guitar or drums. He likes making noise. He’s giving Beastie Boyz, Limpbiskit vibed, Tom DeLonge (Blink-182) But he can carry a tune for sure if he actually tried.
Rock Lee (21) is def on drums (if in the band). I don’t see him grabbing the mic but he can be the Travis Barker of the group LOL
Shikamaru (20) is an ex-member of the band who quit to focus on his studies. From time to time he does play with them if they need him it just to jam. I haven’t thought of voice equivalents yet but he’s be more back up. He’s studying to be a music engineer at Tenten’s parent’s company as a favor to their daughter’s friend.
For the ladies:
Tenten (21-22)- Guitar and/or drums for sure. Also classically trained in piano... Tenten can play almost any percussion instrument. She doesn’t sing much however, she does take the mic sometimes. Her voice equivalents would be a combination of Lily (Lilyisthatyou), Hailey Williams (Paramore), a touch of Avril Lavigne, a touch of Pink. I’m also feeling the new lead singer for Linkin Park, Emily Armstrong which Tenten could develop her vocals when she starts hanging around Neji more often.
Sakura(20)- lead guitar, when singing could have a possible combo of Vanessa Carlton, Taylor Swift, and Michelle Branch.
Ino (20)- would most likely be lead vocals and keyboard. She gives Natasha Bedingfield, Jojo, Cascada, Ellie Goulding vibes.
Hinata (19-20) - would be on bass like her older cousin, in fact was trained with him first in cello. She doesn’t grab the mic but her voice would be giving Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande (minus the whistle tone), Danity Cane, a very high register for Hinata frfr. But great for harmonizing.
Side ideas:
-Neji, Tenten, and Lee consistently host jam sessions and anyone is able to join, which is how the bands were formed. It started in Tenten’s garage back in high school.
-Neji had picked up singing as a side skill, really to impress Tenten who would always comment on how rich his talking voice was and whenever he’d hum or vocalize a scale in order to write a song as she jammed out on the drums or he would him scales as she practiced piano.
-Tenten believes she’s a shit singer, however Neji convinced her she had been trying to hard to sing at a higher octave than she should be. She worked with Neji to develop her style of singing (which is similar to his however slightly more range edgy for sure). Her confidence increased and she can sing and play drums. She finds every excuse to have Neji sing to her because yes her man should always sing to her like why wouldn’t he?
-Naruto joined in when he made friends with Sakura, who was friends with Ino…who knew Tenten who had a reputation for drumming. Had a sibling dynamic with Neji Tenten and Lee.
-Hinata was trained with Neji at a private music program for strings. He used to play with her however switched to electric bass and hasn’t looked back. Hinata practices the cello occasionally still, and has also picked up an electric bass like her cousin. Hinata is last to join the group having seen her cousin have so much fun stepping out of the classical realm of music.
-Sasuke, being friends with Naruto and Shikamaru, was dragged to a jam sessions and Naruto begged him to sing knowing Sasuke could carry a tune. Sasuke finds Neji to be a rival in terms of vocals, it’s stupid because Sasuke’s style is different than Neji’s but ya know how these two are 😤 the girls find it hilarious.
-Ino and Sakura had trouble finding roles in the band; they both wanted to be lead singer. However, the group was able to come to a compromise that they would randomize the set list and that would determine who sang lead for the night.
Socially;
-Neji and Tenten are usually always together. Their parents know each other through the music industry. Neji’s parents being on the business side of it and Tenten’s parents being producers.
-Lee and Tenten are neighbors and share a sibling dynamic with Tenten being the voice of reason.
-Tenten’s piercings are very attractive to Neji. He especially finds her dimple piecing a to be adorable, especially when she smiles. He will buy her jewelry often.
-Ino and Tenten give Chaotic energy; Tenten being Chaotic Neutral, Ino being Chaotic good. In other words they out in the streets and down for whatever.
-Sakura and Ino constantly have sing offs to see who is better. Tenten and Hinata find it amusing.
-Naruto and Tenten are usually seen with drumsticks in their pockets. Naruto prefers guitar, however he would be jamming either Lee and Tenten constantly.
-Neji and Hinata have a pretty good relationship; in fact Hinata looks up to Neji and tried to seek approval from him constantly, especially since they were always compared as children in their music abilities.
-Shikamaru, Neji, and Tenten will smoke/Vape together and just vibe in the studio.
-Each group would attend each other’s performances
-they all attend university/college. Neji and Tenten go to private uni, Ino Sakura and Hinata attend public uni (Hinata, due to not getting into a prestigious arts program). Sasuke, and Naruto (being gifted in guitar) are not in music majors, however attend public uni. Shikamaru is in a trade school program.
-Yes you do see correctly; Ino has a face tattoo. It’s very girly pop of her.
I’ll drop some more sketches soon; I’m tired lol
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The soriku and the Hercules/Meg parallels ALWAYS hit huh
#kingdom hearts#soriku#kh#kh3#sora#riku#sora kh#riku kh#my art#listen I have many thoughts about it#i simply think if you ship can fit BOTH sides of herc/meg#it’s a superior ship#the amount of PARALLELS drives me INSANE
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I'm so happy. I'll treasure it.
#the cornered mouse dreams of cheese#窮鼠はチーズの夢を見る#utsukushii kare#my beautiful man#parallels#otomo kyoichi#imagase wataru#hira kazunari#kiyoi sou#okura tadayoshi#narita ryo#hagiwara riku#yagi yusei#gifset#*brace's#//#the quote in the caption is Hira's#but I believe it's fitting to express Imagase's feelings/unspoken thoughts as well#///#Kiyoi forcing the box inside Hira's hand because Hira considers it so important he's hesitant to touch it with his own hands#Imagase bringing the bottle close to his chest‚ protective of it‚ as if it might be taken from him or this could turn out to be a dream#[head in hands] there's not a single person present that doesn't drive me the fvck insane.
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https://www.tumblr.com/pondrea/748403783611105280/dont-you-recognise-me
amazing art by pondrea (link above!!!) got me feeling things (the art is so good op!!!!!! 💚) and now i need to yap about this scene lol it’s of the moment zexion disguised himself as sora to riku in com.
(i hope it’s ok to post the link here! let me know if not!)
i’m CONVINCED what zexion said to riku as sora this still haunts riku to this day. it wasn’t even sora who said all that, but i’m sure the fear of how it played out in com actually playing out with the real sora scared riku to death. the fear of this happening led to him walking away from sora first, not even giving him the chance just in case there was a repeat scenario. sure, there was a lot of self hatred and feeling like he didn’t deserve to see sora as well, but the look on riku’s face tells you that this scarred him. this was his biggest fear. he rather fade to darkness than go through this again and isn’t even willing to risk that it could go another way.
anyway, this is just context for what i actually want to talk about lmao
so this is probably one of worst moments for riku right? utterly rejected by his best friend and now that friend was willing to kill him for who he is now. and it wasn’t even real.
but you know who that was real for? sora. in hollow bastion. utterly rejected by riku. his only means of defense taken, basically left to die. and then riku fought him tooth and nail until he lost and sora let him run away.
you know who got closure for their version of this scene? riku. he got it when sora fell to the ground on his knees in the world that never was, when he said he looked everywhere for him and told him he was still riku no matter what. sora told him exactly what he needed to hear to reassure him that sora didn’t think any of things riku feared he did. sora telling him specifically that he was still riku no matter what showed riku that sora stills wants him around. even if he looks like their enemy and even if he did some real awful things, he’s still riku and that’s enough. riku as he is is enough for sora. always has been.
you know who never got anything like that? sora. in fact, the conclusion that sora found to get him through is that he’s not enough. his friends are his power. alone, he has no strength. he only made it through by relying on a complete stranger he managed to befriend. if beast wasn’t there or if he refused to go with sora, would he have survived? he had magic but that would run out eventually. would he have even made it to the room he fights riku in?
i don’t think he thinks he would’ve. in kh3, he says alone, he’s worthless. he’s held that sentiment this entire time. no one told him otherwise. (until riku’s sacrifice but it’s murky about whether sora even remembers that at this point. but even if he does, it wasn’t like the scene in the world that never was. sora was able to dictate exactly what riku needed to hear with no imminent threat and riku was not emotionally compromised like sora was in the keyblade graveyard. riku was able to process everything sora said. that is a far cry to sora screaming in agony over all his friends dying, sora believing wholeheartedly that he's nothing without them, and riku just saying he believes in him. sure, thats what sora needed in that moment to save everyone, but it's not a response to his fears and insecurities established in kh1 like how what sora says to riku is a response to his fears and insecurities established in com.)
at this point, i think it’s obvious that sora knows riku’s changed from kh1 and that he doesn’t believe the same things. sora knows he cares based on his actions and how he saved him too and we know as an audience how dedicated he is to him. but it fucks me up to think that riku got that verbal closure while sora never did. that riku got to start healing from that awful moment but sora really never did.
just,,,, please please please please let them talk about what happened in kh1 i am on my knees begging
extra thoughts: didn’t think of this at first so sorry it’s a little disconnected, but maybe the reason riku is so horrified in that moment in com is because he realizes this is what he put sora through. maybe he made this connection himself and feeling what it was like to be on the other side of it, on sora’s side, horrified him. what’s worse, in riku’s mind, is that riku deserves to be in this position and deserves to be rejected due to his past actions. but sora never deserved it. maybe that contributed to why the self loathing spiral got worse after com.
#this has been in my drafts for a few days now because i’m afraid i forgot scenes where all this is addressed or i’m just wrong but#fuck it lmao#if i am wrong or forgot something lmk!!#otherwise#it drives me insane that there is still unresolved trauma from kh1#let my boy heal!!!!!#let him get closure!!!!!#i know riku loves sora so much but literally sora needs a moment so bad where riku sits him down#and says he’s enough he’s so much and more on his own#he needs to tell him his heart is strong not weak that he is more than enough just by himself that he’s so valuable and cherished and loved#tell him everything he needs to hear like he told you everything YOU needed to hear!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry for all my rambling disconnected thoughts#kingdom hearts#sora#riku#soriku#i yap
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Something I didn't really notice until replaying Royal but Ryuji really doesn't let the past hold him down? Like in the rank 2 scene he tells Akira that he doesn't want to focus on his past and he's more focused about the future.
I think that's kinda neat tbh he doesn't wanna let the stuff with Kamoshida or his dad drag him down, he just wants to keep going forward.
#not gonna main tag this lol#it's interesting idk i never noticed this before#look ill be honest with you all im specifically thinking about this in context for my au#i think the contrast between dont let the past hold me back ryuji#vs i will never escape my past and i cant bear the future riku is fascinating#ive been thinking a LOT about their friendship lately i wont lie#i think they could really balance each other out well#riku would just listen to ryuji talk about his struggles with his past if he needed it#and ryuji helps riku let go of a lot of his burdens regarding his and the groups past#riku is running away from the future ryuji is running towards it do you see my parallels#or is this me going “ive connected two dots. you havent connected shit. they're connected” or however that meme goes#idk i just think they would make great friends :']#it would make sense too considering captain arcana is the chariot equivalent of its deck lol so there's bound to be parallels#captain au#<- might as well tag it lol#idk if any of this makes like sense#because im refreshing a lot of what i remember from p5 with this playthrough#but i think ryuji's drive to keep moving forward is really cool and fits well with his arcana!!#ANYWAY DO Y'ALL GET WHAT IM SAYING ABOUR RYUJI jesus i feel like im tripping over my thoughts#but riku/ryuji (platonic mostly but romantic works maybe) is important to me....#hope my ramblings make sense to someone<3 live laugh love <3
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Your KH Enchanted posts are driving me INSANE! I've never thought about the connection before but like, Enchanted is literally about a cartoon character going to the real world and finding out that her designated "perfect" love interest wasn't actually the one for her despite the fact that he should be. And then cut to SORA WAKING UP IN QUADRATUM AND RIKU THERE LOOKING FOR HIM like... it's all coming together.
YES!!!! There are so many parallels. In Sora’s dreams, the way he and Riku wake up in this huge city at night with so many lights and signs and skyscrapers… it’s so much like Giselle pulling herself up into the center of Times Square. The area Sora’s in especially, Scramble Crossing, brings to mind Times Square.
Enchanted is about a fictional character becoming real. Giselle’s from a simple, “perfect,” fairytale world. She’s designed to be a stereotypical Disney princess, and she’s a trope more than a person until she ends up in the real world, where she’s quickly challenged by the real world’s imperfections and complexities, embodied especially in Robert and through her relationship with him.
I’ve talked before about how Kingdom Hearts features fictional characters waking up and coming to life, deviating from the script when they’re not really “supposed” to and becoming real. Like Giselle, Sora starts out as a pretty stereotypical trope — the hero — but over the course of his journey grows further away from that. He’s challenged and he changes, and a lot of that is embodied through his relationship with Riku, as Riku represents change and complexity, especially in the context of growing up.
There’s a lot of parallels in the dynamics between Giselle/Robert and Sora/Riku. They’re complementary opposites, and they learn from each other. Giselle inspires Robert to believe in the messages fairytales champion about kindness, the power of love, dreams coming true, and happy endings. Sora inspires Riku to follow his heart and open his heart to others. Robert helps Giselle understand that real life is not as simple as a fairytale. Riku helps Sora see and understand the nuances in their world and in each other.
Real people are complicated, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Giselle’s thrilled, for example, the first time she feels really, truly angry. Robert makes her feel things she’s never felt before, messy things that make her feel alive, that make it easier for her to understand him and grow closer to him. KH emphasizes that experiencing grief, sadness, anger, etc. allows us to connect with others deeper, whether we’re leaning on loved ones for support or trying to understand a stranger. Pain is a necessary part of having a heart, of being alive.
Also, these scenes are literally the same. Giselle and Sora even both smile in their sleep.
Giselle/Robert and Sora/Riku’s relationships develop significantly over the course of their stories. In comparison to Giselle/Edward and Sora/Kairi, which rely on trope expectations instead of character development/actual relationship building. Giselle hardly interacts with Edward. But he’s a prince, he resembles the man of her dreams, he saves her from falling, and she can finish his duet. Surely it’s true love! I’ve already compared sharing the paopu fruit with singing the duet. Kairi is also a princess. She saves Sora from falling to darkness in KH1. And it’s pretty and perfect and Disney, with him reappearing in her arms, gently pulling away, quietly thanking her with sparkles all around them. Just like how Edward catches Giselle right in his lap, perfectly in his arms, with the tree branches forming a heart behind them.
Compare that to later in DDD after Riku saves Sora from falling to darkness and Sora thanks him… and when Robert catches Giselle from falling off a billboard. It’s the same thing, but the moments are not pretty and perfect.
Giselle takes Robert to the hard ground, with a chorus of yelps and ouches as she nearly breaks his wrists. Riku is almost bowled over by Sora’s hug, and Sora holds him tightly, loudly exclaiming his relief, reluctant to let Riku go. But the lack of “Disney fairytale perfection,” I guess, in these scenes kind of makes them better, right? Robert is willing to get really hurt trying to catch Giselle. Sora is so happy to see Riku he can’t contain his emotions. Near the end of Enchanted, we see this again, except Giselle is the one catching Robert. And it’s still very clumsy and rough — he takes her down with him. It’s not perfect, but it’s real.
That’s the biggest difference between Giselle’s relationships with Edward and Robert, and Sora’s relationships with Kairi and Riku. In both surface dynamics and appearance, one is a pretty idea. A perfect, soft, simple fantasy that doesn’t exist, that can’t exist in reality beyond little boys and girls playing Prince and Princess. And the other is grounded in reality, with all the good and bad, the joy and heartbreak, laughter and tears, that entails. Being human is hard. But there is something magical about finding someone you can be human with.
Giselle mistakes Edward for the true love she’s been dreaming of. He’s got the blue eyes and the dark hair, and he catches her from falling. And it reminds me a lot of Sora mistaking Kairi for his light in the darkness in KH3.
It’s reasonable why Giselle and Sora would assume this… But Robert also catches Giselle from falling. He also has blue eyes and dark hair. Later, he dresses exactly like Giselle’s dream prince at the ball, and he even dances with her like in her dreams. In KH3, Riku sacrifices himself in an act of true love for Sora, and we see the light in the tunnel respond when Sora calls out Riku’s name. There’s a number of visual parallels from Sora’s dream and Dive to the Heart that indicate Riku is Sora’s light. While Giselle realizes the truth, it only seems to click for Sora a moment before he forgets. Giselle also gets a follow up parallel. Sora hasn’t yet.
Another little thing I want to point out — Giselle and Edward have a duet (that she stops singing), but Giselle and Robert have a waltz. They have the love song, and they dance to it. Sora and Riku don’t dance, but we see their hearts dancing to the song they create — a waltz version of Dearly Beloved.
Also Robert/Giselle still get the Disney singing element. It’s just not big and flashy like Giselle and Edward’s duet. Robert quietly sings a few words to her as they dance together… Sora and Riku still get the paopu fruit — it’s the keychain of Dearly Beloved (the Combined Keyblade) — but it’s not obvious like the cave drawing between Sora and Kairi is.
TLDR: I completely agree with you and I think, like Enchanted, KH intentionally plays with Disney tropes and audience expectations in order to subvert them. Like Giselle, Sora discovering his designated “perfect” love interest is not the one for him is part of his journey of awakening. It’s part of him becoming real, and growing up.
#agentperezbian#sorry for the late reply. this took a while to type up#there were a few times i had to walk away and wait until i had fresh eyes again to revisit this#I’m still not completely happy with it but i don’t wanna deal with it anymore lmao#soriku#kingdom hearts#enchanted
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Kingdom Key D and Sora's Heart
Gonna paste some thoughts about Kingdom Key D that struck me last night:
Ok so on the topic of KKD being Sora’s true keyblade aka the one made from his heart (as KKL is made from Riku’s) it just struck me that in kh3 Mickey tells Yen Sid that his keyblade-kkd- was damaged in the realm of darkness along with Way to Dawn breaking in half.
Now we already know the theory that Way to Dawn actually broke during Riku’s sacrifice in the first unseen timeline, lining up with the “drop point” when Riku gets swallowed up by the demon tide in the RoD… but if kkd is made of Sora’s heart and what I suspect about Sora’s heart breaking or being damaged in some way during Riku’s sacrifice in the first timeline…That would perfectly explain why kkd randomly gets “damaged” despite them not even showing it to us and quickly glossing over it!
Think about it. Before kh3 we never even knew keyblades getting broken or damaged was a possibility- because keyblades are extensions of a person’s heart not a truly “physical” object. The only other time we’ve seen a keyblade actually be broken was in recoded when Maleficent breaks data Sora’s keyblade. And the ONLY reason she is able to do this, as explained, is because that keyblade was just a data imitation, it wasn’t tied to a real heart. Until Data Sora gets a heart of his own.
Keyblades don’t just break or get damaged because they get hit by a strong heartless. Sora and Riku have faced stronger enemies that small demon tide plenty of times. No. Keyblades only become damaged if the heart they are extension of become damaged. That has to be it.
The way Mickey says this and it’s just completely glossed over. Why would they even bother having KKD getting damaged and replaced when it’s an iconic keyblade and they don’t even SHOW the damage. It makes no sense... unless it’s planting a seed. Something to come back to with new context. Rather than getting a full replacement Mickey seemingly fuses KKD with Star Seeker, his bbs keyblade, in order to repair it.
This is also the first time we’ve seen this type of fusion of keyblades, again with zero explanation or showing it happening on screen. Star Seeker also happens to be the keyblade Sora gets with his first drive form, Valor form…
The fusion keyblade is called Star Cluster, and also apparently in jp it is “Kingdom Key W” (what does the W stand for??) The Star/Galaxy aesthetic also reminds me of that starry space in ReMind where Sora connects constellations…
Other things:
Apparently in Japanese the letter W is very commonly used as an idiogram for "Double" or "Two". This would make sense for a fusion keyblade like Kingdom Key W. Other ideas that were suggested: W for Waking, W for the "Win" timeline (as the previous timeline was fated to be lost to darkness). It's possible it has multiple meanings.
2. “Only King Mickey can open a door to the realm of darkness. It’s because he has a special Keyblade of Darkness. He figured out how to make it open the way.”
As stated in the kh3 glossary there are only three ways to enter the realm of darkness voluntarily: Beings of darkness have the power to open paths to it, a special keyblade of darkness (of which I believe KKD is the only known example- Nomura has explained that it doesn't mean that the keyblade's nature is dark or evil, only that it's a key that works on doors to/from the RoD), and the power of waking (which Sora uses to reach Riku).
I just think it's interesting if KKD is made from Sora's heart it just so happens to be this special keyblade of darkness. It's a complete mystery as to why KKD was just sitting there on the dark side of Destiny Islands. Mickey seems to know that it's a counterpart to KKL and that it would appear where KKL appeared....but how did he know that? What does it mean? Another interesting connection- during the fall of Destiny Islands notice how the door from Sora's dive to the heart appears in front of the Secret Place, and how the door within the cave only blasts wide open when Sora gets near.
Anyway, I've always thought KKD getting damaged was wierd and suspected it had something to do with what happened in the first timeline but assumed it had to do with Mickey's heart getting damaged somehow. But this makes so much more sense to me- after all we know KKD isn't made from Mickey's heart, it was just a keyblade he found. For both Way to Dawn and KKD to have become damaged as a result of Riku's sacrifice, due to whatever happened to Sora and Riku's hearts....it just makes sense. Sora's heart was damaged, so of course the keyblade made from him would be too.
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Full Integration, Final Fusion, Functional Multiplicitly, and General "Spirituality"
(Disclaimer: this is a very long post)
Heyyo, this is a bit of a hodgepodge of connected topics that I was thinking on this morning. For those that don't know, after like three months of being a really solid fused whole, we really decided that we needed to redivide back into our core parts to recenter, rebalance, and reorganize ourselves since our fused whole was loosing sight / vision of the "plot". We don't consider this "splitting" because we are still in - what we like to call "full integration" - and we don't really engage in much dissociation when we do this as the means of how we do this largely stems from the way we perceive, engage with, and view the concept of "self" and "identity." Our system highly values the mastery and art of a very fluid and ever changing sense of identity and self. This morning - thank you Chunn brain for batting our collective brain from the usual urge to get out of bed and get started with our day to give us time to really sit with our inner selves - we spent about an hour and a half and a small half hour nap just laying there thinking among ourselves and I wanted to share a few.
I think at the moment I am still mostly a fused whole and I had considered trying to go to Ray or Lin for them to write this, but it didn't feel right to go to Ray brain and Lin brain directly told me "Dude, this thought line started with Riku-dominant fused brain, trying to have someone else write it would be a disservice to the reflection. Let Riku or Riku-dominant fused brain do it, it's their thought." and you know, fair point. I think I'll use this post as a temporary "bye few thoughts" and love letter to our parts as a fused whole before leaving it to the individual specialists to do their things.
So introduction to this post aside, hello and temporary soon to be farewell before I choose to temporarily redivide into my main parts. Today is May 15, 2024 and I'm gonna document this a bit for when I come back whenever that is and kind of see if my fused-whole perspective and nature changes - mostly for myself. Online I go by Feathers, irl I just go by our chosen name.
I'm a (mostly, technically non-denominational independent, but most of my views and perspectives come from and align closely with) Zen Buddhist. I'm nonbinary vaguely transmasc (not really though?) intersex individual with the pronouns of they/them. I am extremely pro-endo and if I honestly felt like sticking around longer, I was thinking about writing a much more nuanced essay on tulpa-terminology discourse with my current reflections as a fused whole and as a pretty avid Buddhist but, unforunately, unless one of my parts still shares the same insight AND interest, that essay will have to wait for me to potentially be back (hey, Riku or Chunn might still want to who knows). I dunno what else to say, I love bird, Bleach, walking, driving, listening to music, video games, writing, art? I dunno man, I'm just me.
Documentation aside anyways, I gotta figure out where I want to start. I think I will actually piss my high-school English teachers off and start with the LAST thing in the title card. I might loose a lot of close minded white anti-endos here, but hey, if you are that close minded, then its your loss cause I'm just talking about late-stage recovery as a person with diagnosed DID that is considered polyfragmented. It's a fun conversation to have with other people with DID aiming for recovery so, if you're hell bent on hating people talking about plurality form a non-DID lens enough to disregard cool information, that's your loss. (Thank you XIV brain, crediting that to you for part of our goal today)
Buddhism, Spirituality, Plurality and Our Perspective of Full Integration
According to Buddhism, and one of the largest concepts and principles of Buddhism that we believe the most in and actively work to practice and cultivate the mindset of - is that the concept of "I" and the concept of a singular, distinct, and separate self from the world and others simply does not exist - only the experience and illusion of experience exists. I was talking about it with @quoigenicfromhell in DMs since they were interested in talking shop about Buddhism.
To save myself a whole effort of rewriting a discussion on how one can hold together the clear sensation of existing and being an individual with the idea and Buddhist understanding that the "self" does not exist, I'm going to copy a little bit of what I wrote in response to them. If it doesn't make sense cause its in a bit of Buddhist jargon, then oh well, I'm lazy, it's written for an audience that has done some reading and looking into Buddhist thought so RIP yall srry not srry (Thank you Chunn brain lol)
Honestly the development and understanding of holding those two things together (the non-self and non-existence with the clear experience of self and existence) is largely a lot of exploration on the understanding and respect for the experience without applying too much value or regard to said experience. Its kind of a hard thing to understand just based off of words alone and like all things Buddhism, its one of those sorts of things you really gotta sit on and explore in your own mental space, but like
The experience of self and personhood and existence is a denied concept in Buddhist thought, but its not a bad or incorrect thing, the experience of self and existence is kind of considered an inherent expression of life and the world and while its important to be cognicent that it is an illusion that can cause suffering and muddy an individuals ability to see Things As They Are, the experience and illusion of self is additionally an entirely natural thing to experience and is an important part of being able to, well, be
I kinda of personally perceive it kind of similarly to say a part in a system. Innately the part is not (at least in my experiences of systemhood) a literal entire separate being and thats an important thing to acknowledge for a number of reasons (life organization and direction, system accountability, etc) but its would also be incredibly foolish to completely ignore that the part operates, experiences themselves, and lives in the world (both inner and outer) as if they were an individual of their own
In the same sense that a part in a system can be seen both as an individual and a part of a whole / collective depending on what perspective and demands the moment needs. An individual can be seen both as the individual expression of a self informed by the arguably incorrect illusion of isolation OR as a part of the whole worlds expression depending on what serves the moment the best. I largely kind of see myself as part of a system that is the world much like I see my parts as part of a system that is "me". While the self may be an illusion, its not an experience that can be denied and it is an innate expression that in its own right can prove to be a great teacher So you deny the concept of a self but respect and revere the experience and innate natural expression of self
With that context in mind, while we do not believe in the concept of self and find that trying to seek out a concrete idea of a singular person and singular self in society is a source of extreme suffering, stress, and displeasure, we DEEPLY revere and honor the expression of self. As we see it, in a complete ideal and impossible the world would be in perfect harmony if we let the world express itself as it naturally does. We find that the experiences of self - in whatever form they take - are inherent and natural expressions of the world as a whole and to try to shape oneself to fit a specific image - may that be societally imposed or internally / personally imposed or a sense of envy or any sort of clinging or desire to a specific version / image of self - is a disrespect to the innate beauty found in the natural expression and a means of adding disharmony into the world.
As a result, our system and whole aims deeply, above almost all else to exist simply as we naturally would in any moment time to time. If we find that something we are doing with our sense of self is drawn and influenced too much on a "I should" or "I want" or "I wish" or "I hope" then we tend to pause, self reflect, and ask if we are actually existing in our natural state, or are we trying to fight against our natural state of self to fit into a self-imposed idea of what we "should be".
As a result of that, our system deeply values our flexibility, fluidity, and ability to change any aspect of ourselves, any opinion we hold, any identity label we consider, and our overall presentation in all ways and forms to a very high level. The desire to be consistent and predictable serves us little in simply practicing on "being" and finding the true and simply-run life that we want. That then results in why our system so casually flips around in system size, fusions, redivisions, how we refer to ourselves, etc. We find very little value in committing to labels and concepts and do whatever is natural for us.
Additionally, another large aspect of Buddhism our system deeply reveres and appreciates is the acknowledgement that there are "Buddhas" - or in less Jargon terms, potential for everything both internal and external to be teachers and guides into finding a sense of peace and simplicity in the world - and that it is deeply important to cultivating peace, happiness, and insight to actively always be seeking out the "Buddha" in everything and everyone. It's important to reflect, engage with, and talk with those "Buddhas" as they are the best and number one way to gain the insight that brings happiness and peace into life and removes excessive suffering and stress.
As many Buddhists agree (at least of the Mahayanan branches), everyone is inherently a Buddha because the world and everything is a Buddha. The only issue people have is that they can not connect, hear, and see clearly enough to be in that state due to a large number of human conditions - one large one being the aforementioned illusion of self.
Having lived my life as someone with DID and having gone through a lot of trauma therapy, self reflection, communication and coordination with my parts, and all that to the point we have reached functional multiplicity over a year plus ago and been able to hold a fully fused state for over three months, I feel like its a given to say that of ALL things in the world, the "Buddha nature" of my parts have been the best and most insightful teachers I've ever had. We revere each other's strengths and specialties greatly as each of us have taught the other great strengths, great understandings, great insights, and great appreciations that have collectively brought us so much peace and happiness. It's not to say any part is "enlightened" because each part is also deeply flawed and struggling in their own realms, but it is largely by working and talking and supporting one another and ACTIVELY looking to one another for insight and lessons about the world and our existence that we are able to reach a uniquely peaceful space.
For us, its an incredibly important practice - both for self care and in the art / spirituality of Buddhism - to regularly talk and engage with these specialized and uniquely-wise (and uniquely stupid - thank you XIV) parts of ourselves to gain deeper insight and overall understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.
In the same sense, it is why - despite being completely capable of operating as a fully fused whole - we regularly choose to INTENTIONALLY redivide into our parts. And no, its not us "splitting again" or even really throwing up any real level of dissociation / dissociative barriers. If anything, we usually do this through meditation and mindfulness.
It's a Buddhist practice, its not a mental disorder and its not stemming from the same mechanism's DID stems from. It might operate *based* on the foundation our history with DID stems from, but at this point in our healing, the way our system operates at functional multiplicity that is intentionally chosen to be that way AFTER reaching "final fusion" has a number of differences from how it operated before we reached general full integration.
Again, for those more familiar with the tulpa-terminology discussion, you might be able to see where I would have a long post delving into a highly nuanced and more middle-ground perspective of that syscourse from the paragraph above this one, but I'm gonna leave that cause I already know this post is long and it would detract from the purpose.
At this point, my system is mostly an "intentionally created one" to Western label standards. We personally do not see any significance or binary in plural VS singular people beyond it being a label some people identify with and not. Plural VS Singular is a false binary perpetuated in white, western, and european society and while I respect that perspective and view in a space that is primarily filled with white, western, and/or european individuals, I am going to firmly state that and expect you to give me that same respect. (and if you refuse to give me that same respect, then you are close minded and being very white / western lmao <- thank you XIV, again)
And so the other related but slightly different topic away from the more philosophical, esoteric, mysticism sounding topic of Buddhism...
Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicitly
At this point, what we used to call "Wishiwashi Recovery" we kind of have taken to just calling "full integration" generally as a means of really breaking apart the suggested categorical and boxed binary of "final fusion" and "functional multiplicity" as our own experience and discussion with other systems at and near full integration have made us realize that the difference between functional multiplicity and final fusion is FAR more a spectrum than it is two seperate categories. Some systems stick to one end, some to the others, but the largest difference is in external and internal expression of the parts and less any fundamental or biological / clinical difference; at least not in terms of integration. (Note: Integration =/= Fusion; Integration is the general connectivity and accessibility of parts with less / limited / no dissociation)
It's a false binary to say Final Fusion or Functional Multiplicity and its why a lot of the "ones bad and ones good" syscourse is dumb. They're two heads of the same Doduo and they should be kissing. (JOKING, thank you Riku-Aya brain)
With that said, our system, as we've made clear, regularly and freely practices sliding and flying all over that spectrum as just how we like to engage with ourselves. We change between the two as we see fit and having spent probably like 9~ months in functional multiplicity and 3~ months in final fusion I wanted to share some pros and cons of both sides.
I would also like to put a disclaimer that this isn't meant to be "positives and why this side sucks" as much as it is the differences in life style according to our opinion and our experience. Both final fusion and functional multiplicity are absolutely WONDERFUL things overall and we love both states. If we got "stuck" in either, we would still be immensely happy. The purpose of this part is just to share certain differences in how we experience the two different ends. The Cons in these case are only "cons" relative to the "alternative" and not "to not ever reaching either"
Functional Multiplicity Pros:
A lot more clear and direct communication between parts internally that allows for a SHIT ton of internal banter, productive conversation about complex topic and perspectives from unique and diverse perspectives; the communication is a lot more intentional and a lot more in focus so its easier to properly sit and attend to the complex differences and sometimes conflicting directions
It's honestly just a lot of fun, not gonna lie. A lot more dramatic and extravagant expression + brain friends in a more overt sense
Easier to let certain parts of the brain take "breaks" - it's not the same as it is with not-fully-integrated DID but compared to Full Fusion, certain parts of the brain can "tune out" easier than not
More palatable to DID / OSDD spaces online
Easier to focus and use a wide variety of skills, interests, hobbies, and thinking patterns by simply just having a specialist part take their look at it
Generally easier to target specific boxes to look into as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated
Final Fusion Pros:
Quick and a lot more inherent understanding of all parts on a general gut level without necessarily needing to fully think about everything and listen to every opinion and perspective; there is a lot more of an inherent understanding, trust, and awareness of the collective whole which makes decision making and seeing whats good for the system as a whole a lot easier
It's honestly way more calming, relaxing, and solid feeling. There is a unique sense of confidence, understanding, and trust within yourself and you have a HUGE arsenal of skills and interests that come from the combined parts that you've lived as
You are a lot more present and aware of your life and you actually get to live YOUR life and have all parts of yourself be engaged in life; no part feels really left behind or is caught off guard from having their brain partially turned off. The awareness is really present and engagement is so much more complete.
More palatable in real life and non-DID/OSDD spaces
Easier to simultaneously use skills from multiple parts at once; very much a jack of all trades all at once situation
Generally easier to integrate multiple complex and otherwise seemingly detatched boxes of memory and the past as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated
Functional Multiplicity Cons:
Takes more intention, focus, and often time to get the same level of full understanding of the whole system when making decisions. It can be slow and it requires a lot more internal engagement which can make it harder to be fully present in life
Sometimes you can get what I call "lite" amnesia where a part was not paying attention and doesn't fully process what was going on / what is going on and so sometimes you get poor attention-driven "amnesia". It's small and easily recovered by simply going "hold up wait" and thinking back or asking another part
Harder to use skills from different parts at the same time; albeit definitely still possible and only "harder" relative to final fusion
Generally harder / requires intentional discussion between parts to integrate multiple complex boxes as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated
Final Fusion Cons:
Less direct and overt bantering and discussion between parts (still present by the way, just less frequent and less overt). It can be a little less fun (still is fun cause they are sill there) and it can be a bit harder to fully see the extent of a more extreme perspective
It can be tiring and overwhelming to be aware and present so much for so long if you were accustomed to the breaks DID / OSDD tends to give parts
Easier to forget to use a lot of the skills and hobbies that may have been more niche to less-dominant and less-prominent parts; you don't "loose" the skills, you just aren't accustomed to using them as much so you can just kinda forget to use them
Harder to focus on a targetted recovered memory / information that you want to process and can sometimes be a bit overwhelming trying to connect a number of things at once
And this is all just to say that both are absolutely astonishing and great places to mentally be. The main point is that - for us - sometimes one state works better for us in the moment and another state works better for us later and that's completely cool cause - as aforementioned - the difference between plural vs singular is not a binary one for us anyways.
Anyways, I don't know how to wrap this up so I'mma just post it
Ideally today we will focus on cultivating our independent parts and return to Functional Multiplicity end of the spectrum so I guess tata for now
-Feathers
EDIT and PS: Anyone is allowed to add their thoughts to this so long it is in good faith.
#feathers speaks#functional mulitplicity#final fusion#actuallydid#dissociative identity disorder#syscourse#syscourse tw#tulpacourse#tulpacourse tw#full integration#buddhism#long post
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places to hide / soriku
“Hey,” Terra says, a tall shadow in the doorway.
Riku looks up at him and smiles. He likes Terra. Not just because they shared a moment so poignant that it shaped Riku’s future, but because Terra is a kind, steady presence in his life.
“You okay?” Terra asks.
But most of all, Riku feels like he can let his guard down. He nods, his throat feeling thick with emotion he can’t quite place.
“Yeah,” Riku says.
“Sora was worried about you,” Terra says. “May I?” He gestures to the overturned crate across from the one Riku is sitting on. “He said this is your favorite hiding spot.”
Riku nods and Terra sits down, the door shutting slowly behind him. Once it closes, only the light from underneath cuts through the darkness. It’s enough that they see each other.
“Are you?” Terra asks.
“Huh?” Riku replies.
“Hiding from something?” Terra moves a bit so he’s more comfortable.
From everything, Riku wants to say. From expectations, from my innate drive to keep going and going, a dozen other things and some he would never dare say out loud.
“I asked Sora why he didn’t look for you,” Terra says. “He seems to think you might be mad at him. Another year wasted on me, he said. Did you and Sora argue?”
Riku shakes his head. “No, I just…” he says. “I may have been avoiding him a little.”
Terra lets the words settle in the room for a while. It floats in the air like dust motes, catching whatever light is left in the room.
“I like sitting in dark places, too,” Terra says. “You’d think after years of being trapped in darkness I’d hate it. But it feels… comforting.” He runs his hands over the top of his legs. “Guess I learned to love my chains.”
“I felt like a monster,” Riku says. “Or a Heartless. But now it just feels nice… kinda quiet and almost peaceful. It makes stepping into the light feel even better.”
“Perfect balance,” Terra says. “You’re a wiser man than anyone who ever tried to teach me anything, Riku.”
Riku shifts and smiles. “Except for Aqua and Ven,” he says.
Terra nods. “They’re always my exception to everything,” he says in a fond tone.
Another silence falls.
When Terra chooses to speak again he does so carefully. “I know how you feel,” he says. “About yourself. And Sora.”
Riku’s demeanor changes, his back slightly straighter.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Terra says. “Or admit anything. I’m not going to push you to do anything. But I know you haven’t stood still for a moment since you left your home. I know despite how strong you are and how brave you’ve been, that you’re tired.”
Terra looks away from him, when Riku puts a hand on his own face. “I know you’re frustrated, and that maybe you think you don’t deserve to want the things you do.”
“I just want you to know that you deserve good things,” he says. “You deserve to be a happy young man in the prime of his life. Don’t give up on that.”
Riku inhales sharply, leans back and nods. “I didn’t waste anything,” he says. “Not for him.”
Terra places his hand on Riku’s shoulder and stands. “Tell him that, when you’re ready,” he says. “I think his answer might surprise you.”
Riku looks up at him and looks every bit the young man he is. When he nods again, Terra puts his hand on the door.
“It’s a good hiding spot,” Terra says. “Mind if I borrow it sometimes?”
Riku laughs, a little emotion stuck in the sound. “Sure,” he says. “I don’t mind.”
—-
“Sorry,” Riku says, weeks later. “If you thought I was avoiding you.”
Sora shrugs against his side. He sat down beside Riku when Riku invited him in without asking. Real light doesn’t ask permission, real darkness never pushes back. Perfect balance.
“That’s okay,” Sora says. “My foot’s in a bucket.”
“Your foot is a bucket,” Riku shoots back. It takes a beat, but they both snigger.
The silence between them is so different than the one between Riku and Terra. It’s lighter, and there’s electricity.
“I know sometimes you need some space,” Sora says. “You’ve always been like that. I don’t mind!”
Riku imagines how he couldn’t have fallen for Sora. It seems so impossible.
“You can tell me,” Sora says. “Even if it’s just a ‘I want to be alone now!’ thing. And if I ever do anything, you can tell me. You don’t owe me anything.”
Riku looks at him. His blue eyes, his spiky hair, his eyebrows, one just a little higher than the other. The way his mouth always looks like it wants to smile.
“And you could never be a waste of time,” Riku says. There’s a moment and then relief seems to wash over Sora’s face.
“It’s a good hiding spot,” Sora says, an echo of Terra that makes Riku smile.
When Sora lays his head just ever so slightly on Riku’s shoulder and lays the back of his hand against Riku’s leg. An open invitation to something he’s wanted for as long as he can remember.
Just because Riku reached out a little.
“It really is,” Riku says, lays his head ever so gently on Sora’s.
He reaches his own hand out, farther than he’s ever dared.
In the darkness, he’s no longer afraid.
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Thanks for answering in such a timely manner and I completely understand that! I know you did great work post KH3 when people were making a fuss about the localizations and you don’t have a bias in your translations so I thought you were the best person to reach out to! There was a few bits in Riku’s telling of KH3 talking about how the guardians were saved that had me questioning a few things.
Here Riku is talking about the defeat and revival of the guardians and I was wondering if in this sentence he confirms that it was specifically only Sora and Kairi that were responsible for restoring them? Many have speculated Riku played a part in the process but to me it seems even Riku himself refutes the idea in this sentence if that makes sense?
And the other line I wanted to ask about was the last line of the page. The rough translation I got was this was the beginning of sora and kairi who were separated’s story.
I have rough translations of both but I was wondering how to translate them more naturally? Thanks in advance for your time I really do appreciate it! I had planned on making a tweet on the manner but I will respect your rules 100% and just keep the information here in the asks! ✨
Sure, thanks for the ask! Here's a transcription of the Japanese version, then the Romaji version followed by a rather literal English version and then a more naturalistic version.
Excerpt 1:
JP: そしてキーブレード墓場で、俺たちはマスターゼアノートの戦いに挑むが、敗北した…はずだった。
ソラとカイリの思いが俺たちを引き戻す。
Romaji: Soshite kīburēdo hakaba de, oretachi wa masutā zeanōto no tatakai ni tanomu ga, haiboku shita... hazudatta.
Sora to kairi no omoi ga oretachi o hikimodosu.
EN: And at (the) Keyblade Graveyard, we challenge Master Xehanort to (a) battle, but (we) were defeated... (or at least that's what) was supposed to happen.
Sora and Kairi's thoughts/feelings bring us back.
More naturalistic version: And at the Keyblade Graveyard, we challenged Master Xehanort to a battle, but we were defeated... or at least that's what should've happened.
Sora and Kairi's feelings brought us back.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To answer your question, based on Riku's words here and the grammatical structures he uses, it's clear he gives Sora and Kairi credit for restoring everyone to life. He doesn't take credit at all but groups himself in with the people who were brought back by using oretachi, "us/we," as the direct object of hikimodosu, "restore/bring back," which is indicated by the direct object marker o. And just to make things really clear, the subject in this sentence is Sora to Kairi no omoi, "Sora and Kairi's thoughts/feelings," which is marked by the ga subject marker particle and indicates that Sora and Kairi's thoughts/feelings are what brought "us" (Riku included) back.
And just to be fair, the start of this section is a quote from Riku to Sora at the Keyblade Graveyard:
JP ソラ 俺は信じてる
EN Sora, you don’t believe that.
TR Sora, I believe (in you).
JP おまえはあきらめない
EN I know you don’t.
TR You won’t give up/You haven’t given up.
I could see Riku's quote being... creatively interpreted into giving him credit for helping rescue everyone as well, given how he encouraged Sora not to give up, but Sora kinda gave up anyway once Riku died, and (granted I haven't played KH3 in a while so I'm going off of memory here, so take my interpretation with a grain of salt), it wasn't really till Sora heard from Chirithy in The Final World that Kairi was fighting with all her heart to keep him alive that he really regained his drive.
Plus, taking credit for rescuing everyone is not at all the sense I get from Riku's words here. If anything, he places all the credit with Sora and Kairi for reviving everyone and doesn't try to take it for himself. The inclusion of his quote at the top almost gives me the vibe that he's thinking, see, I knew Sora wouldn't give up, I believed in him, and he's proven me right with how he and Kairi brought everyone back. In the next sentence he does talk about how he defeated Ansem and how the others defeated the various Xehanort vessels, which tracks exactly with what we see in the game, but he does not take credit for everyone being revived; that was Sora and Kairi's doing. He's come a long way from how arrogant he was in KH1, and this excerpt really shows his growth and his admiration for his friends.
Additional Notes: A few interesting grammar points: I was doing some quick research, and 戦いに挑む with its use of the ni particle gives the impression that the battle was already scheduled or planned (which makes sense, given the themes of fate in KH3 and Xehanort's machinations).
Hazudatta means something like "should've happened" or "was expected to happen." In other words, Riku is making it clear that they should've lost the battle and would have if it weren't for Sora and Kairi.
The word I translated as "thoughts/feelings," omoi, can mean a variety of things; here's the full definition from jisho.org to give you an idea of the nuance here:
And then the compound verb, hikimodosu, is interesting because if you look at the kanji it literally means "pull + return," and together the meaning is exactly what you'd think: to bring back, to restore, to return, to reinstate. There's this image inherently built into the meaning of the verb of the subject pulling the object back to itself (and in this case Sora and Kairi's feelings are pulling their friends out of the abyss and back to them, back to life).
Riku uses a different verb, hikimodosu, than Sora uses in Blank Points to talk about wanting to rescue his friends, but I thought it was interesting all the same because it's another -modosu compound verb, torimodoshi. Sora is the one wanting to "take back" his friends, and Riku is speaking of the same act but as being on the receiving end of it ("we were pulled/brought back" by "Sora and Kairi's thoughts/feelings" vs. Sora telling Kairi in Blank Points he "has to go and take back/recover all that is connected to him" aka his friends). Not anything huge or groundbreaking, I just thought it was kinda neat.
Excerpt 2:
JP: そして俺たちは見知らぬ世界でマスター・ゼアノートと戦い勝利する。だがそれはソラとカイリ、ふたりが離れ離れになる物語の始まりだった。
Romaji: Soshite oretachi wa misharanu sekai de masutā zeanōto to tatakai shōri suru. Daga sore wa sora to kairi, futari ga hanarebanare ni naru monogatari no hajimari datta.
EN: And in a strange/unfamiliar world, we fight with Master Xehanort and win. But for Sora and Kairi, that was the start of the story of the two of them becoming separated.
More naturalistic translation: And in a strange world, we fought Master Xehanort and won. But for Sora and Kairi, it was the start of the story of their separation from each other.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I find it really interesting how Riku frames this, like the next arc of Sora's story is centered on his separation from Kairi. He contrasts the victory against Xehanort with the separation of Sora and Kairi and speaks of that separation in terms of it being the beginning of a story. Also, the quote at the beginning of this section in gold is one of Sora's lines at the end of KH3...
JP ううん 俺はこのまま行くよ
EN No, I know what to do.
TR No. I’ll go on from here.
...which is what Sora says right before he goes after Kairi. One story ends as another begins. I think a big part of Sora's next story arc will be his reunion with Kairi, just going off of how everything has been set up and how Riku refers to his separation from Kairi here.
Additional Notes: This is just linguistic nerdery so feel free to skip it lol but in case anyone wants to read more about Japanese linguistics:
Mishiranu strikes me as a set expression that originated in an older form of the language but continues to be used today, as it preserves the older form of the negative verb conjugation shiranu instead of using the more modern shiranai. It's something I want to do more research on to see if my hunch is correct or completely off, so off I go lol.
Hanarebanare is a word that exhibits the rendaku phenomenon where a word repeats in Japanese, and in its repeated second form the voiceless obstruent consonant that starts the word becomes voiced ("h" used to be pronounced as "p" in Japanese, and "b" is said in the exact same position of the mouth/lips as "p," only with voicing, so I wonder if this word was originally panarebanare and then the "p" became "h" over time after the rendaku occurred, and now I've found another rabbit hole to look into lol).
Anyway, thank you for the ask Star! Hope that helped with your questions ❤️
(Ninja edit: I realized I inserted a particle where there wasn't one in the second excerpt and updated my translation slightly to account for it--no major changes to the meaning, just wanted to more accurately reflect the grammatical structures).
#kingdom hearts#sokai#sora#kairi#kh translation#kh analysis#phoenix translates#phoenix-downer#unchained-star#long post
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(IDOLiSH7) Minami Natsume - An Idol's Daily Life Rabbit Chat: Part 3 - Minami and Ryunosuke
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Minami Natsume: Good work today, Takanashi-san. I saw you speaking with Tsunashi-san earlier and couldn’t help but greet the two of you. Was that alright? I hope I didn’t interrupt.
Minami Natsume: I was worried I might have been a bother...
Tsumugi Takanashi: Good work today, Natsume-san! You weren't a bother at all; not in the slightest!
Tsumugi Takanashi: I was simply thanking TRIGGER for the souvenirs they brought from their shoot anyway!
Minami Natsume: That's a relief.
Minami Natsume: I came to greet you both impulsively, so I was a bit worried when I thought about it afterward.
Tsumugi Takanashi: If anything, I was happy that you so courteously took the time to greet us despite your busy schedule.
Tsumugi Takanashi: Tsunashi-san also mentioned that he enjoyed talking with you!
Minami Natsume: ,
Minami Natsume: My apologies, my finger slipped. It was a brief exchange, but I’m honored to hear that.
Minami Natsume: Did you continue your conversation after I left?
Tsumugi Takanashi: Yes!
Tsumugi Takanashi:
1) He mentioned he plans to see the movie you’re starring in.
Minami Natsume: He must be referring to the movie where I play an android. To think that Tsunashi-san would go out of his way to watch it in the theater... I'm thrilled. I hope he enjoys it.
2) He said he wanted to talk with you more.
Minami Natsume: Really? Tsunashi-san said that… I’m very happy to hear it. I hope we can talk more leisurely next time.
3) He said he’s looking forward to ŹOOĻ’s new song.
Minami Natsume: We aim to meet those expectations. I’m glad to hear about this from you, Takanashi-san.
Tsumugi Takanashi: He was also cheering you on for getting your motorcycle license, wasn't he?
Minami Natsume: He even recommended some fantastic places to go for drives, which I really appreciate. Driving along the coast truly does feel great.
Minami Natsume: Mido-san and the others also said the coast is the perfect place for a first drive.
Tsumugi Takanashi: I agree! Even in a car, driving while looking at the scenic ocean views makes for a refreshing experience.
Tsumugi Takanashi: Plus, there are thriving port towns where you can enjoy meals during your tour.
Minami Natsume: That sounds wonderful. I’ll look for some port towns nearby.
Tsumugi Takanashi: Please do! The place Iori-san and Riku-san visited for their shoot was amazing as well. There were many restaurants serving fresh seafood straight from the market.
Minami Natsume: I love the phrase "straight from the market."
Tsumugi Takanashi: Riku-san’s eyes lit up just reading the words on the signs!
Tsumugi Takanashi:
Minami Natsume: What did they eat?
Tsumugi Takanashi: Iori-san had the simmered fish set, while Riku-san ordered the sashimi set.
Tsumugi Takanashi: The simmered fish was cooked in a secret sweet sauce, and the sashimi set featured a selection of seasonal fish, limited to 30 servings a day.
Minami Natsume: Both "secret sweet sauce" and "seasonal fish" are enticing phrases. It’s hard to choose between them.
Tsumugi Takanashi: They had the same dilemma. In the end, they agreed to order different sets and share a bite of each other's meals.
Minami Natsume: They really are close. I saw them sharing side dishes in the dressing room before as well.
Tsumugi Takanashi: Does ŹOOĻ not do things like that?
Minami Natsume: Not really, we don't exchange food often. Though we do sometimes bring snacks for each other, like we did the other day.
Minami Natsume: At one point, we used to hold meetings where we would give Mido-san cheap candy he likely hadn't tried before, and we watched his reactions as he ate them.
Tsumugi Takanashi: Wow! That sounds like a fun meeting! Did he have any interesting reactions?
Minami Natsume: Yes, he was delighted with the fizzy Ramune, among other things. It was quite adorable.
Minami Natsume: He didn’t know how to make it fizz, so we all taught him together.
Tsumugi Takanashi: Just imagining it makes me smile. Were there any other candies that impressed Mido-san?
Minami Natsume: I think his favorite was the kneading candy.
Minami Natsume: He was very focused, trying not to drop the syrup on the tip of the chopstick.
Tsumugi Takanashi:
End of Part 3.
#idolish7 translation#zool#idolish7#ainana#i7#id7#rabbitchat#rabbit chat#minami natsume#natsume minami#i7 translation
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Friends to Lovers Tournament: Round 1, Side A, Match 15
propaganda under the cut!
Soriku:
Ultimate friends to lovers. They've been best friends since childhood but as they start to grow up, those feelings change into a more romantic nature but neither handles this well. Riku in particular has a whole villain arc about it bc his insecurities about the situation get the better of him, meanwhile Sora isn't self aware enough to recognize his feelings are romantic in nature but he spends all of his time desperately trying to get Riku back so they can be together again. Ultimately even after they come together, their love continues to be a main driving force of the narrative and it's so palpable
Scarlet/Chase/Brook:
It all started with Chase and Scarlet knowing each other, and becoming friends. THEN, sudden ✨rival✨? Except not at all lmao
Brook pretty much didnt care about Scarlet at all, he just didnt really wanted to feel bad about which sinners he choose, pretty much. Which was why Scarlet and Chase started teaming up at first too.
So Chase, as any clever person thought "hey, then what if *you team with us too?*", and Brook basically went "good idea :3" and joined. Like, no joke, his boss told him "KILL THE BLONDIE" and Brook went "Nah". (Please someone add it as propaganda I love that scene)
ANYWAYS, THEYRE ALL FRIENDS RIGHT? SO HOW ABOUT THEIR DYNAMICS? The answer is: I love them <3
Ok, we all know about Chase and Scarlet right? Its pretty obvious with those ones, for those who read the comic, BUT HEAR ME OUT, MY FELLOW COMRADES ✨Brook too✨
They all live under the same roof, and are pretty much always together? Its 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘳𝘪𝘰.
I know we all make the joke about Brook third wheeling but DID YOU ALL SEE HOW MUCH HE WANTS THOSE TWO TO BE HAPPY.
And Chase and Scarlet care about Brook too :( <3
Literally, we see Chase caring about Scarlet and Brook searching for sinners, even when Scarlet disappeared for a while and Chase was depressed af. Brook and Chase stayed together. And Brook felt so bad for Chase he almost fucks around and finds out??? Just to get Scarlet back??? THAT WAS SO CUTE.
AND LATER. THE JUDAH SITUATION. WHEN SCARLET FOUGHT HER TRAUMA TO GET BROOK. And how she consoled Brook because he thought they didnt care about him :(
Even after The Chase Situation, when Scarlet and Brook stayed together as a team, and how Scarlet THOUGHT OF LEAVING BROOK BECAUSE HE SAID HE WAS HAPPY (staying in a place) AND SHE THOUGHT HE DESERVES IT.
This trio is going to kill me they love each other so much.
AND HEY, I KNOW SOMEONE IN THE NOTES IS GOING TO START "but brook and scarlet have a brother-sister bond, and brook does not have any Feeling™ towards chase". HEADCANONS COUNT. And although its true Chase and Brook havent really shown any other feeling that is not friendship towards each other, I can still ship Brook and Scarlet. You all just dont because Brook cares towards Chase and Scarlet as The Priority, and because of that does not try any move romantic move with Scarlet (????). BUT WHY CHOOSE. LET THEM BE A LITTLE CUTE POLYCULE. THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH, WHAT ELSE DO WE NEED.
#friends to lovers tournament#kingdom hearts#i'm the grim reaper#soriku#kh sora#kh riku#chase carter#scarlet#brook#polls#tournament polls
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🪢 KH-OC Week 2024 🪢 - Day 3 Package
Prompt: Would You Rather: Riku vs. Terra edition
With there being two dream guides from Kingdom Hearts, and the fact that both (but especially Terra) played an integral role in making a home for me, Dinh-Yu suggested a variation of the 'Would You Rather' game. But instead of picking two different scenarios, a scenario is given, and I'd have to choose if I'd prefer to do it with Riku or Terra... Tough choices!
---
Q1: Go skateboarding in Twilight Town with...
A1: This is a hard one. Riku would likely be better at it, but I wouldn't want us bumping into Roxas and therefore witnessing those two having issues... IF they haven't already sorted it out. Terra may not be as good, but would provide a more stress-free experience. Skillwise, Riku. Because imagine if I needed to be taught how to ride it in the first place.
---
Q2: Opening the mysterious book in Hollow Bastion/Radiant Garden with...
A2: Terra. Because not only would we get access to 100 Acre Woods, but I could participate in Command Board challenges with him (and Aqua and Ventus if present). However, I think Riku deserves to have fun with Pooh and friends some day.
Leaning more towards Terra.
---
Q3: Trapped in Castle Oblivion with...
A3: I can't give a definitive answer for this one. Riku has vast experience from KH-CoM, but do I want to deal with Ansem and the Replica? And with DiZ catching me up in his occasional psy-ops towards Riku? Come to think about it, either Xehanort or Maleficent would torment Terra in the castle and make him succumb there if not in BBS. So maybe Riku, because again, more experience, and he's over his darkness ark.
Terra does get over it, but later in the KH timeline.
---
Q4: Participate in a musical in Atlantica with...
A4: Okay, so apparently Terra can't sing, but he really needs to improve his confidence, especially in himself. Cue him also being quite repressed and silent for most of my 2024. He needs to come out of his shell, pardon the pun... This conversation got recorded in real-time when Terra found out about this decision:
Terra: "Aww, noooo!".
Riku: "Well, it looks like she's chosen you, Terra".
Terra: "What the hell am I going to do in a musical?".
---
Q5: Have a dance at the Royal Ball (Castle of Dreams) with...
A5: Terra as he’s got a sweet and charming character. If he was insecure and shy around girls, it may not work out to begin with. But once he gets his confidence on the dance-floor, or he already knows the girl well, he’d be an excellent dance partner, especially if it were to some sort of classical or slow music. And with the way Terra has been looking after and looking over me since late 2021, he wouldn’t say no to dance with me and may rather be thrilled. Additionally, he knows the Castle of Dreams really well due to his KH-BBS stint, so he may even bump into Cinderella again and THIS TIME be able to have a dance with her as well.
---
Q6: Go snow sledding in Arendelle with...
A6: Sledding is different to skateboarding/skiing. It’s sitting and you don’t really have to be taught anything except if you’re the one driving the sled. It’d be a more cozy experience with Terra and it would also be funny to see his reaction if we fell off the sled and into the snow. May end up in a snowball fight.
---
Q7: Traverse the Sleeping Worlds with...
A7: On initial thought, I’d choose Riku as he obviously went through the whole of KH-DDD and made it out ‘alive’, also ending up as a Keyblade Master. So he’s like the expert of sleeping worlds and would be able to safely escort me through them and intervene swiftly if there was trouble, knowing the tricks and turns of any infiltrators. But I am curious to see how Terra would function in the sleeping worlds. If it were pre-BBS, I’d be a bit concerned about this combo. But if it were post-BBS, or how Terra was in 2022/2023 as a dream guide, I say he’d be quite skilled at navigating me through, but still not as much as Riku IMO.
---
And with August 3 rolling around, it's Terra's birthday (what he's disclosed)! Here is a pic from last year's celebrations. As he apparently doesn't like too many sweets, he just got a cupcake:
---
And here's another part of the puzzle that just got revealed to me TODAY, as to why Terra's connection might be under stress this year. Terra didn't get an organic pair of teddies as it were. At the start, he was only there for Riku but became interested and started to integrate himself into my life. He wasn't going to get 'mentors', rather, he got 'friends' from the teddy High School Peer Mentorship program to be his companions and increase his confidence, but maybe they're not skilled enough to identify when things get challenging and intervene in a sense
And here's the thing I've just recently realised. Nasha (ESFP) and Sibella (ESTJ) DO NOT get along. ESFP is like the most free, laisses-faire of Carl Jung's MBTIs, whereas ESTJ is almost the polar opposite (not letterwise). So think of someone like Vanitas or Demyx, and Eraqus or Donald working together. Nasha and Sibella focus more on each other rather than their relationship with Terra, even though they do respond to him and are courteous with him. Additionally, whereas Selvian and Sierra seem to go where situations take them, Nasha and Sibella have not left the Land of Departure ever since they were sent out back in Year 10 with Terra. And tend to remain in the closet as it were.
Nasha and Sibella had their first official problem-solving instance earlier this week (convo recorded in my writing book), but it didn't seem to end well. Instead of Sibella making Terra feel better, she unfortunately started to blame him in a sense. Nasha called her out for not being nice but then the two girls got into a fight and Terra passively backed away. So that was an interesting tidbit that was revealed to me.
Snippet of convo from 31/07/24:
---
Sibella (ESTJ): "Then do you think she's maybe going through it again? Like being energetically suffocated?".
Terra (INFP): "I don't know... I've been out of touch with her for so long that I don't know what's going on, and I don't know what to say to her".
Sibella: "That's just it, Terra. You're too scared to start the conversation. And because YOU left it for so long, you don't know where to begin".
Terra: "She said she needed more time to go after Cricket".
Sibella: "He looks pretty stable to me now".
Nasha (ESFP): "Oh my God. Stop being so mean Sibella".
Sibella: "What? Just because my accent sounds like a Spanish b****, I'm not being nasty to him. I'm simply getting to the point as to why he can't reach out to Karla".
Nasha: "But you're making everything sound like it's his fault".
Sibella: "Well then what do you have to say to him, Nasha?".
Nasha: "What you said makes sense, Sibella. Just word it nicer".
Selvian (INFJ): "Okay who called? And why aren't you two cooperating? Sibella seems to know what's going on and so she has an onus to tell Terra so that he knows what to do from here on out".
Nasha: "But she's just being mean to him and has gone from identifying THE problem to identifying his problems. Like that is sooo uncool".
Selvian: "I agree with Nasha in this case. And this is why I'm here. Now so we don't send Terra into a breakdown for nothing, I'm going to sort this one out with him".
-- Continued in book --
Selvian again cleaning up everyone's messes 😂😂😂
I think that's why Selvian and Riku get along so well and have found something in common to bond over.
---
Oh gosh, I found a sketch just now from 2023 that exposes them XD
#kingdom hearts#khocweek2024#khocweek#would you rather#dream guide#riku#terra#kh terra#terra kh#riku kh#kh riku#oc#karla#oc speaks#oc opinion#day 3
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[ 𝙺𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚒 𝚁𝚒𝚔𝚞'𝚜 𝚃𝟹 𝚅𝙳 ] 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝙱𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝙲𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝙸𝚝 𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚠
RIKU. OH RIKU. enjoyed writing both his mv and his vd a lot! hope y'all like it too :) (his mv and vd destroyed me)
Warnings for Riku's VD: descriptions of toxic relationships, suicide, bullying and self-harm.
Warnings for Riku's MV: same as his VD, not counting the bullying part, Riku also gets to be really violent in this one and there are a lot of mentions of blood.
(sounds of footsteps)
Miki: .. So..
Miki: It's time for us to interrogate your brother.
Hinode: .. Yes.
Miki: .. Hinode-san, how can you be so calm even though your own brother is one of the prisoners here?
Miki: How can you just.. be so calm even though your brother has murdered someone?
Miki: And not just that, you voted him guilty too. Again, I understand Eiji-san's situation, but-
Hinode: Because I always knew it will end up like this.
Miki: Huh?..
Hinode: I knew that their friendship will end with someone's death. I knew that it will either be Riku or it will be Yue.
Hinode: I.. I always knew it.
Miki: .. Why didn't you help him?
Miki: Why didn't you stop them? Why didn't you tell your own brother that this friendship will only hurt him?
Miki: Do you even love-
Hinode: NOT ALL OF US ARE AS OBSESSED WITH SAVING OTHERS AS YOU ARE!
Miki: ...
Hinode: .. I'm so sorry, Miki-san.
Hinode: It's just.. Haha..
Hinode: Who knows. Maybe I really don't care about Riku that much.
Hinode: .. I was too focused on my own pain to think about his pain too.
Miki: .. Sorry.
(the door opens)
Miki: .. Hello, Riku-san.
Riku: I heard you two arguing. Did something happen?
Riku: And, um.. Hello.
Miki: I-it's nothing. Please don't worry about it.
Miki: .. How are you feeling, Riku-san?
Riku: .. A little better, haha.
Hinode: ...
Riku: (to Hinode) .. Are you not going to say anything?
Hinode: .. I'm sorry about.. that.
Riku: *laughs* You're this scared to talk about your brother's suicide attempt?
Riku: .. No. No, that's not the right way to say it.
Riku: You're so used to my suicide attempts that you don't feel anything at all anymore.
Hinode: ...
Miki: .. Hinode-san..
Miki: .. You really are a terrible brother.
Hinode: .. I know.
Riku: Hey, hey, come on, let's talk about my crime instead.
Miki: B-but don't you want to talk more about how your life in Milgram has been?
Miki: I just want to know how you are-
Riku: I'm fine.
Riku: T-thanks to Akio-kun.. I'm fine.
Miki: But what about-
Riku: Guard 002.
Riku: Don't you think you should stop asking prisoners about things other than their crimes? Especially things that trigger them and make them uncomfortable?
Riku: If you care so much about us, why don't you respect our privacy?
Miki: ...
Miki: "His attitude towards me has.. completely changed."
Miki: "It's like he's not trying to make me trust him anymore."
(the sound of a screen turning on)
Eiji: That's what I like to hear. If you want to talk about your crime so much, let's start with your murder method.
Eiji: Guard 002 asked you about it the last time, but you didn't give a proper answer.
Eiji: So, how did you do it?
Riku: .. I thought you would have seen something like that in my video.
Miki: "Hinode-san told me everything about it, but I can't just tell Riku that I've heard it from his brother."
Miki: .. Did you.. use your reputation to make everyone hate Shiozaki-san?
Riku: ...
Riku: Yep. That's what the popular guys do.
Eiji: Popular guys don't just drive someone to suicide.
Riku: Hmm, I disagree. Our whole existence makes others wish they were either just like us or simply dead.
Riku: I'm sure at least one person was close to committing suicide just because of how great I am.
Miki: .. And you're proud of it?
Riku: Sure. I had the same thoughts every single day, why wouldn't I be happy that someone feels the exact same way because of me?
Riku: It's like.. a compliment, really. Like wow, I'm so cool that someone would rather die than continue living their boring and pointless life that has me in it!
Eiji: .. We should've voted you guilty twice.
Riku: But anyway, yeah, I just used my popularity to spread gossip about him and told everyone how bad Yue is and that it would be better if the guy just killed himself already..
Riku: And it worked! Yay~
Hinode: .. You're not actually that happy about his death, are you?
Riku: .. What do you mean?
Hinode: Sure, you still have your band, your friends, your classmates, but..
Hinode: Yue understood you like no one could. He gave you as much attention as you needed.
Hinode: It could've been overwhelming, but it was the exact amount you needed. That's why you couldn't have just ended your friendship like a normal person would.
Riku: .. Why don't you just continue to sit here and not say anything?
Riku: You never understood me, Hinode-
Hinode: Your whole family doesn't understand you. That's one of the many reasons why Yue's death will only make your life more miserable.
Hinode: Your main source of attention and affection is gone.
Hinode: Who will you start feeding off this time? Akio-san?
Hinode: You don't see people as people, you just see them as pairs of eyes that are supposed to only look at you.
Riku: .. Says the guy who stole all of our parents' affection.
Eiji: Shut up, you two.
Eiji: First of all, I don't want to know anything about what was going on between Riku and Yue. I'm only interested in the murder.
Eiji: And also..
Eiji: If your parents pay more attention to only one of their children, it's their fault. The other child is not the one to blame.
Eiji: And.. maybe the child that gets more attention is not the one to blame either.
Riku and Hinode: ...
Riku: .. Yue was planning to jump off the school rooftop.
Riku: And not just that. I was the one who suggested it.
Riku: I left a note for him that said I'm tired of everything and that I want to end it all, but I'm not doing it without him.
Riku: Of course, he agreed and came to the rooftop, but..
Riku: This wasn't supposed to be double suicide. It was basically supposed to be.. murder that would look like suicide.
Riku: Me and my friends came to look at it and.. taunt him a little, I guess.
Riku: Like, we were just going "Jump! Jump! Jump!"
Miki: Were your friends really.. okay with all of this?
Riku: Eh, I don't know and I also don't care.
Riku: Maybe they really are this cruel, maybe they just didn't want to lose their status. Who knows.
Riku: But then.. I walked up closer to Yue.
Riku: I just wanted to continue making fun of him, nothing more. Maybe, also, um.. Push him a little.
Eiji: Making fun of him and pushing him are two different things. You weren't trying to get him to commit suicide anymore, you were trying to kill him yourself.
Riku: Come on, I was just.. bullying him a bit. Like all friends do.
Miki: ".. Sometimes I forget how insane Riku-san is."
Riku: B-but.. Um..
Riku: Then, Yue hugged me. I thought that maybe he wanted to hug me for the last time before he jumped, but..
Riku: .. H-he wanted to fall with me.
Riku: H-he wanted us to jump together.
Riku: Y-you don't understand, he even pulled out a boxcutter that we used to-
Riku: A-and he said that he was going to stab me if I didn't jump with him.
Riku: He was that insane. I was the victim. Please trust me.
Eiji: So he was so obsessed with you that he was okay with dying, but only if that meant you kept your promise and you two committed double suicide..
Eiji: .. Heh. Things are getting interesting.
Miki: T-there's nothing interesting about it! It's just.. it's just..
Riku: So anyway, I tried to fight back, but he hugged me again and..
Riku: W-we almost fell off the roof.
Riku: And then my friends tried to save me and..
Riku: T-they did. A-as you can see, I'm still alive.
Riku: My shoe fell off, but it's.. fine.
Miki: .. So Shiozaki-san ended up falling, but you survived?
Riku: .. Y-yeah.
Riku: Stop looking at me like that! Do you think it would be better if I died with him?
Eiji: Yes, actually.
Riku: What-
Eiji: You deserve it, like a murderer that you are.
Riku: How- H-hey, Hinode! Don't you want to protect your little brother?!
Hinode: .. I knew that you were the one responsible for his death, but..
Hinode: .. How can I care about my little brother, when he's..
Hinode: When he's even more cruel than me?
Riku: .. Come on. Come on, at least someone in this room has to care about me.
Riku: Miki-chan.. Miki-chan, please..
Miki: .. Please, shut your mouth, Riku-san.
Miki: I'm so tired of you.
(the bell rings, machinery sounds)
Riku: .. You will forgive me, right?
Riku: You understand that I'm the victim, right?
Miki: I thought you changed, Riku-san.
Miki: You could've died, but you were saved by the person you hated. I thought this would change you.
Miki: Even Miyagawa-san has changed.
Riku: .. But I'm innocent.
Riku: I was just trying to survive. It was either me or him. It was basically self-defense.
Riku: You will just vote me guilty again? You want me to die this badly?
Riku: MY WHOLE EXISTENCE IS ALREADY THIS PATHETIC SO YOU JUST WANT TO KILL ME OFF?!
Riku: IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF SAVING ME?!
Miki: I-it doesn't mean that you will die-
Riku: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN DO TO YOU!
Eiji: You don't have the same power here that you used to have back in school.
Riku: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? DO YOU WANT ME TO FALL ON THE GROUND AND SAY HOW SORRY I AM AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS? DO YOU WANT ME TO JUST STAB MYSELF OVER AND OVER?!
Miki: "I should use the memory machine-"
Riku: DON'T MOVE!
Miki: ...
Riku: I know what you're trying to do.
Riku: If you use that memory thing on me, I will still find ways to hurt myself. And you don't want that, right? Because you're our savior, right?
Miki: You won't-
Riku: What, do you think my brother will stop me? Do you think.. uh.. I forgot his name, anyway, you think Guard 001 will stop me?
Riku: Nobody in this prison cares about me. I had to learn this the hard way.
Miki: .. But Miyagawa-san does.
Riku: ...
Miki: And I don't think he just sees you as a replacement for someone anymore.
Riku: .. He's just another source of attention to me.
Riku: .. Fine. Do whatever you want.
Riku: It doesn't matter if I live or die, I will still continue to suffer. It's like I was born to do exactly that.
Miki: .. Thank you for trusting us.
Hinode: Wait a minute, Miki-san.
Hinode: Riku.
Riku: *sighs* What do you want?
Hinode: .. I know that our relationship is impossible to fix. We'll never be as close as we should be.
Hinode: You're mad at me and I'm mad at you. But..
Hinode: Sorry. I wish I could've been a better brother.
Riku: ...
Eiji: ...
Riku: .. I wish you could've been better too.
Miki: .. A-are you ready now?
Riku: Yeah. Guess it's time to sing my final song, haha.
Miki: .. How can you still make jokes in this situation?
Riku: 'Cause I'm too used to suffering. No matter what you choose, it will bring me nothing but pain.
Riku: I want to live, sure, but I want to live a better life.
Riku: .. I don't want to go home.
Miki: .. Prisoner 009, Riku, put all your heart into this song and sing your sins.
42% ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░ 100%
[ Riku's Trial 3 MV: Sun Sets, Games End ]
The video starts with showing us many different scenes, all of them appear for a second or two. We see an orange sky with some clouds and then we see a seesaw, a swing, a bench, a merry go round and a tree.
We see little Riku sitting in his room and trying to do his homework, but it looks like it's hard for him to stay focused. He gets distracted again, sighs and walks to his window. He can see a playground next to his house from it. As he's looking at it, he gets scared when he sees a familiar figure playing there.
"Press "START GAME" to begin
But I want this to end
Please go away, I don't wanna see you
Please go away, playing as your friend is getting tiring"
It's little Yue who notices him too, turns to him, smiles and waves at him. We see Riku still standing in his room and it looks like he's not sure if he should go outside. He looks at his homework again.
"But I am still lonely, my heart's about to break
This desire for attention is getting too strong for me to handle
I guess I'll play another round today"
Riku and Yue are playing on a seesaw now and Yue is having a lot of fun and Riku is smiling too, but his smile looks forced.
"We're going up, look at us, we're still friends
We're going down, we're arguing again
No balance, this relationship is too unstable
Friends? Enemies? What role am I supposed to play?"
Yue is laughing and suddenly, he falls off of it. Riku is already standing not so far away from him and we can see that Yue is definitely injured. But for some reason, Riku isn't in a hurry to help him and it actually looks like he's hesitating to do so.
"We're supposed to be friends, so I'm supposed to help you
But I don't feel anything at all
My head is empty, I don't wanna do anything
Maybe this game will end if I just ignore you"
Now, they're on a swing. Yue's head is bleeding, but he doesn't care and even though Riku looks worried, he doesn't say anything. Yue is still laughing and enjoying this, but then, he falls again. And this time the fall is more serious.
Riku runs up to him and sees that Yue is lying in a pool of blood coming from his head injury. He's visibly panicking and doesn't know what to do, but if you look closer, you can see that it looks like he's trying really hard not to smile. Suddenly, he sees that Yue is still able to move and Yue gets some of his own blood on his finger and starts drawing a heart on Riku's cheek. When he's finished, Riku is shocked, but Yue is still smiling.
"Let's play until the sun goes down, let's play until we see the sky turn purple
That's what they want us to do anyway
Hey, are you having fun? Aren't you tired? Don't you wanna go home already?
"Nope, I'm just getting started!" Well, let me end everything here"
We see the sky slowly turn pink. We see older versions of Riku and Yue now (17 and 18 years old) sitting on a bench. Riku is helping Yue bandage his arm. Yue also has some bandaids on his face and bandages on his other arm, but he looks like he's even enjoying the process and watches Riku do so with a smile. We can see their school bags on the bench as well and there's a box cutter and scissors sticking out of one of them.
"More years, more pain, more fighting
More attention, more joy, more love
Will this game ever end? Will it be as long as my life?
If that's the case, I know how to quit"
It starts raining and Riku is trying to get back home as quickly as possible, but Yue seems to be taking his time. Riku turns to him and tries to call him, but then we see a lightning flash. Yue gets excited and runs off somewhere and Riku tries to follow him and another lightning almost strikes Yue.
"Why are you like this? Why are you doing this?
Do you want to end this game already, just like me?
Then let's press "QUIT GAME", please, this can't go on
With tears in your eyes, with blood on your hands, you smile again"
Riku and Yue are in Riku's room now and Riku is drying Yue's hair with a towel. The scene looks surprisingly peaceful. We can even hear rain sounds in the background. Yue still has the same happy expression on his face while Riku is really stressed. The door opens and we see a woman that seems to be Riku's mother and she smiles after seeing Riku and Yue together like this. Yue smiles too and holds Riku's hand. His grip looks really tight and we also can see that Riku's fingers have some bandaids on them too.
The sky is purple now. We see the playground again. Riku and Yue are playing on a merry go round. Yue is having fun as always, even though he has even more bandages on his body now, while Riku's eyes look completely empty, his hair is more messy and he's not trying to hide his scars anymore.
"It keeps going and going and going and going
I don't think I will ever be able to escape this hell
We keep playing and playing and playing and playing
Let me turn it all off, let me close my eyes and wait for the end"
The merry go round stops as Yue points at a tree we saw in the beginning of the video.
Yue tries to climb it as Riku watches him. It looks like Riku doesn't want to join him, but he still follows him. They're climbing together now and Yue gets on the highest branch. He looks even happier than before as he watches the sky become a darker shade of purple, but when he turns to look at Riku, Riku quickly makes him fall off the branch.
"Let's play until the sun goes down, let's play until we see the sky turn purple
That's what you want me to do anyway
Hey, are you having fun? Aren't you tired? Don't you wanna go home already?
"Nope, I'm just getting started-" SHUT UP ALREADY AND LET ME END THIS!"
Riku gets down. There's even more blood than in the beginning of the video. Yue's eyes and face expression make it look like he really is dead. Finally, Riku shows a genuine smile for once, even though this smile makes him look more insane rather than happy. He starts laughing and he sees one of the branches on the ground and starts hitting Yue's body with it.
"Beating you with my words, my power, my reputation
If I say "Kill him", they will follow me
Please, just die, just die already
That's the only thing you have to do to make me happy"
But then, it's revealed that Yue is still alive and just like in the beginning, he gets some blood on his finger, but this time he puts his finger in Riku's mouth. Riku is shocked and disgusted, but Yue is still smiling.
"No, no, what are you doing
We weren't supposed to end up like this
I'm not gonna follow you, you're going there alone
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, WHY WON'T YOU JUST END IT?!"
Riku continues to hit him with the branch, until he eventually gets tired and his body is just lying on top of Yue's now. Both boys are covered in blood and there's so much blood that it's getting harder to recognize them.
"And we're still repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating
This cycle of pain and abuse and torture all over again
INNOCENT? GUILTY? Both options are too painful
Even though you're gone, my heart is still broken"
We see someone watching this scene from what appears to be a classroom. There's not just one person, there's a lot of students watching and we can't see their face expressions. One of the students turns to the camera. It's Riku, who is still covered in blood. He looks happy.
"I can't see the sun anymore, the game's finally over
Congrats, you're the winner, you got your prize
Haha, don't worry, I'm not mad at you
You got there first, but I'm okay with the second place"
The video ends.
#*falls on the floor* RIKU WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!!!!#but. yeah yeah this a hard choice.#i think one of the verdicts would be slightly better but only slightly. the boy is doomed either way#also i had a lot of fun writing the lyrics. that last bit with yue getting first and riku getting the second place... THE IMPLICATIONS!!!#🎤 voice dramas! 🎤#🗡️guard 001: sanada eiji 🗡️#🌼guard 002: andou miki 🌼#❤️🩹 guard 003: kuroki hinode ❤️🩹#🎸prisoner 009: kuroki riku 🎸#milgram#milgram oc#milgram project#ocgram
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Normal again normal again
Anyways
Are you all aware of that Soriku scene at the end of Kingdom Hearts 2?
"If the world is made of light and darkness... We'll be the darkness."
"Yeah. The other side...the realm of light is safe now."
[From Riku's Story in the KH Character Files]
[From the KH2 Light Novel]
ㅤ
What I think about a lot is that...this is the kind of thing Nine wants with Sonic.
"And yet they felt completely content to be here—because they were together."
"That's the best part of all. There's no one here! It's a clean slate—the perfect place to start over and get the world right. With the proper fortifications—and enough shard energy—it could be home! The one you lost, the one I never had. I can make that hope a reality. For both of us."
"Sonic is gonna love this place."
What is clear to me, from the way it delighted Nine to find the Grim (a place with no life) and yet excited to show Sonic, to make it his home too, is that Nine wants to be with Sonic. Whether if it was the two alone in a world of their own making, or among life they created, Nine would be content to just...be with Sonic.
And yet, even as you connect it to the Dark Margin scene from kh2, there is one major difference.
Sora and Riku were not looking to live out the rest of their days in the realm of darkness. They were trapped, and they thought there was no way out. So despite being trapped for what could be eternity, they felt content just to be there with each other. Even if they were separated from their home, their other friends, it was enough that they had each other.
But with Nine and Sonic, it isn't simply that they would be content living alone together, closed off from everyone else, if it meant that they could have each other and everyone else could be safe. Nine wants to make it like this. Sonic wants to go back home, to introduce Nine to Tails and his other friends, to go on adventures like he used to. He wants to integrate Nine and his new friends into the life he had. Nine rejects the world that hurt him, rejects everyone but Sonic. He wants to be separate, alone. He wants to create his perfect home, a better world, and such a home doesn't include anyone else but Sonic. He wants to create the kind of home that could be the one he's always wanted, that could be a new home for Sonic.
This is all to say that, Sora and Riku hadn't planned being trapped in such a place alone, just glad they could at least be together, but Nine wishes to be alone in a world of their own making with Sonic, wants Sonic to be as content at being trapped alone with him as he would be. Does that make any sense?
It just drives me crazy, okay
To want to be alone so badly, yet unable to get rid of that feeling of loneliness once you've felt true companionship. To desire home more than anything, pursuing an idea, yet not quite realizing home was always about the people with you, rather than the place. And yet, to know deep down that you can't have "home" without this person, the companion you didn't know you craved, and so you pull them into your goal. To have an almost possessive need to have this person in your life, to make a home with them away from anyone and everyone else. To want to live with them forever in a world that is both of yours.
#sonine#soriku#sonic the hedgehog#kingdom hearts#sonic prime#nine sonic prime#miles nine prower#nine the fox#sora kh#sora#riku kh#riku#kh#kingdom hearts 2#kh2#essay time#I just be ramblin#Sorry everyone Sontails/Sonine parallels with Soriku and Repliku/Sora are just possessing my brain these days
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Momo Birthday Lines 2023
Momo
Thanks for celebrating me, Maneko-chan! Today Momo-chan's happy power was charged up, so I can continue to do my best tomorrow!
Iori
Momo-san, happy birthday. The members are all looking forward to congratulating you, so please come to the dressing room later.
Yamato
Momo-san, happy birthday. Next time I definitely want to treat you to a meal, so come without your wallet, okay.
Mitsuki
Happy birthday, Momo-san! You're seriously the greatest senpai, I love you! Let's continue to get along!
Tamaki
Momorin, HPB! I bought Momorin juice, so let's have a toast!
Sogo
Momo-san, happy birthday! I'd love to hear you talk about Yuki-san's amazing aspects again.
Nagi
Mister Momo, happy birthday! Today, please just think about what makes you happy.
Riku
Happy birthday, Momo-san! Can I go to your place to play again? I want to play board games!
Gaku
Momo-san, happy birthday. I think you got a lot of presents, so I'd like to invite you out for a drive.
Tenn
Momo-san, happy birthday. Can I invite you to a cat cafe again?
Ryunosuke
Happy birthday, Momo-san! Please eat a lot of Yuki-san's special dishes today!
Yuki
Happy birthday, Momo. Momo makes Re:vale and I the greatest.
Haruka
Today is Momo-san's birthday, so I thought of going to greet him, but there were so many people in his dressing room so I didn't. I wonder if I'll still get a chance today....
Toma
It's Momo-san's birthday! I'm worried about what to give him. Is just a RabbitChat okay?
Minami
We were going to go to Momo-san's dressing room to celebrate his birthday, but we ended up receiving a bunch of candy instead.
Torao
Isn't today Momo-san's birthday? He always seems busy, so maybe I should give him a pair of travel vouchers so he can relax.
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