#rewatched this today and this scene... the layers

[thesummerfox]

for those you lost.

[exclaims]

there will come a day where i think of msp & don’t break down in tears ☝️ ... that day is not today 😞

[saturnniidae]

HTTYD 2 is ten years old today, it was my first exposure to the franchise and despite its many glaring flaws i can't help but love it and hold it so close to my heart.

This scene is a great example of why.

I love it so much. It's a heart-wrenchingly beautiful reminder that as good as he is, Hiccup is not some perfect hero. He is still just a person, a flawed human being who has cracked under the pressure of his circumstances and is barely given time to grieve his fathers' death.

(I adore scenes like this — It humanizes characters so much more, and just adds to that layer of perceived realism.)

And you can see the regret on his face as soon as he says it. But in that moment he doesn't do anything about it; he's still processing Stoick's death, and he only snaps out of it when he sees Toothless is under the Bewilderbeast's control again and Valka has to hold him back from attempting to go after him.

What he said and did to Toothless there was a momentary lapse in judgment fueled by grief. And later, as he breaks Toothless out of the Alpha's control, you can see he feels terrible about it. About how, even if it was brief, he pushed away his best friend. And he loves Toothless so much.

The way he talks to him literally breaks me every time I rewatch it.

"It wasn't your fault, you'd never hurt him, you'd never hurt me."

"Please, you... are my best friend, bud. My best friend."

And when Toothless comes back he just looks so elated to see Hiccup.

Though, Something that's even crazier to me is the fact all this takes place over less than a week. Once he gets toothless back and Drago is defeated, he is immediately made chief. And with the state berk is in, he is given presumably no time to properly mourn Stoick, or to fully adjust to the presence of his mother.

(though I feel his and Valka's relationship will never be what it could've been. He knows she chose not to come back, and that is a blow to their newly formed and fragile bond that, as much as they love each other, is not something she can ever fully make up for.)

But at least through everything, since the beginning, the one real constant he's had has been Toothless.

They're friendship was built off a mutual feeling of out-of-placeness, then unconditional trust and unwavering loyalty.

they love each other so much it makes me wanna throw up

[katz-rambles]

hello! proud member of the arcane fandom here, can confirm we are alive and well ! may i suggest a little something with ekko and a gn (or masc) reader? perhaps comforting ekko after the bridge incident of episode 7- thank you ! and take care <3

Yess! I js finished rewatching Arcane today, and the bridge scene is still one of my favorite fight scenes! Take care, as well, Anon!!

1k words, so it's a little on the short side.

(fluff, gn!reader, reader has some medical knowledge (but I don't, so I apologize if this is inaccurate), Ekko's a tease, illusions to sex but nothing actually happens.)

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰

It's safe to say that the day didn't go as planned for either of you. You're waiting at home, pacing around the room. You had a bad feeling about the whole ‘going to topside’ thing Ekko told you about. It's the day after, and there's still no sign of him. Even Scar hasn't heard from him. All your mind does is go to the worst. Could the enforcers have killed him, you don't know, and you're not sure if you'd want to know.

You were hoping that by the time you woke up, he would be there. You spend the whole morning pacing and panicking. You try to take your mind off it by getting out and seeing some of the other firelights.

It works. Talking with them and then playing with a couple of the kids helps. I'm mainly playing with the kids, though. It's fun. They convince you to play house with them, and one of them hands you a little doll. It reminds you of your childhood, and it makes you happy knowing that they get to have a somewhat normal childhood.

There's suddenly a lot of voices and clamoring when the entrance opens. So you go and check it out, it can't hurt to. You have to ,gently, push past some of the small crowd to get to see what's actually going on. “Hey, sweetheart,” Ekko groans and stumbles, and you're quick to wrap your arm around him to help stabilse him. When you look down, you're met with an odd sight. You can check having a councilor inside the fireflights base now. He clings to your side and lets you help him get up into your shared room so you can assess the damage.

You let him sit down on the bed, and he sighs, resting his head back on the headboard. You scan him for any big injuries. There's one that catches your eye, a bleeding wound across his stomach. “It wasn't supposed to go this way,” he starts, helping you lift up his shirt so you have access to the wound and the continuing, “it was just supposed to be, I go across with Vi and the other girl. Give them the stone, and then everything would be better. But no.” He winces when you pat some of the alcohol down on it, cleaning it so you can stitch him up. “I know, I'm sorry.” You sigh and press your free hand on his cheek. One of his hands covers yours, and he leans into your touch.

“This is going to hurt like a bitch, you know.” You warn him and grab a pair of tweezers when you notice the small pieces of metal lodged inside the wound. He lets out a shaky breath and nods, one hand grabbing onto the sheets of the bed. You can hear him wincing and groaning when you start to grab the metal, slowly pulling it out, trying not to hurt him too much. You drop the metal on the nightstand and stand up to grab the stapler. You dab some of the numbing cream around the wound in hopes that it won't hurt too bad when you close it. While you wait for it to kick in, you get on your knees and take a look at his ankle.

“It's not broken. Nothing a splint won't be able to fix.” You say as you feel his ankle for swelling or a broken bone. You grab the wooden splints from the nightstand, glad you grabbed them just in case, and place them on either side, securing them in place with a nice layer of bandages. You grab the stapler and Ekko groans in protest, “oh fuck, is that part really necessary?” You scoff and shrug. “I could just knock you out and do it,” You offer, pulling out a vial of anesthetic from the kit. You laugh when he stares at you like you just grew another head, “besides, I've already numbed the area, so this is the best it's going to be.” You say and press the stapler to his skin, internally wincing every time the sounds of it goes off and Ekko moans and groans with each staple. You thank whoever's listening that you didn't have to do too many staples. You don't think you could handle any more of hearing him in pain before you gave in and actually knocked him out.

“There.. all done.” You smile at him and rub the side of his leg. He nods, and you grab the bandages, wrapping it before you go and grab a new shirt for him to put on and take the old one. “Come here, please?” He asks and grabs your hand, pulling you towards the bed. Who are you to deny him, so you give in and crawl into the bed beside him, careful of his injuries, and lay your head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” he mumbles and kisses your cheek, leaving smaller pecks on your nose and forehead before he kisses your lips, “what would I do without you?” He mumbles against your lips, and you laugh. “I don't know.. staple yourself and probably miss.” You tease, and he scoffs, giving you a glare before he kisses you again. You're just glad he made it home in one piece, and so is he.

“I guess this means I'm on bed rest for a bit, huh?” He mumbles, and you roll your eyes. “When have you ever complained about bed rest?” You scowl, and he laughs, a real laugh, not a fake one to make someone happy, a real one. You kiss him again, and he rests his hands on your waist and pulls you closer to him, his hands going lower until they rest on the curve of your hips and you smack his hands away. “What part of bed rest did you not understand?” You groan and push yourself back, hearing him laugh and rest his head on your chest. Finally resting. You're glad he's here.

[lgbtqiapnfreak]

Why I think Byler is endgame

Before we start, you must know I'm really skeptical about theories and all. I like to read and have fun with them, but believe them? It's really hard for me as a 20 years old queer person. Since young I've suffered being queerbaited by mainstream series, Stranger Things wouldn't be the first nor the last to do that.

I know today things are a little bit better, but for the sake of my poor broken heart, I'm always expecting a deception. Yet, I can see byler happening in season 5.

Here we go to the reasons why.

The existence of Robin

I've heard a lot of straight people say, before season 4 and even now, that "Will can't be gay because Robin is the gay person in the show. There is no reason for another one".

Like? The show can have 38272 straight, developed and important for the plot characters, all of them with love interests and happy endings, and one gay character inserted as a comic relief is fine. Two? To much to deal with.

I know, I know, disgusting. BUT what if I say that Robin was not a character added to the show only for a comic relief or identity representation at all? That she was presented for the watchers to consider the existence of a gay character in the show. For them to recognize some queer coded things that, without Robin, they wouldn't be able to?

Robin was presented to us in Season 3. As we must know, the third season of the show is mainly dedicated to character and relationships development. Thanks to it, we got to see the characters way more cylindrically, their fears, mistakes, who they are in their normal daily life. Mike, El, Hopper, Joyce, Erica and Steve gained many new layers in this season, but Will had the most special one: the first explicit hint of his sexuality.

And then, Robin appears. At first we are conditioned to think she likes Steve, the Duffers play a game with the watchers' heteronormativity using the dubiousness of their dialogs. And then, boom! She is lesbian. Not only lesbian but repressedly in love with a girl - at least was - and jealous of Steve.

Thanks to this coming out scene

The interpretation door was open to see this as Will being in love with a boy, repressing his feelings and being jealous of the girl the boy is dating with.

Will's jealousy and feelings for Mike back then stamped the background of everything, it was being slowly built inside the show - but not inside the character, remember the Snow Ball script? It was always there, just unseen.

Until here we are only remarking that Will is gay. But what Robin has to do with byler as a ship?

Well, if she is the queer character created to open this door for Will, created to gain the sympathy of the general public as comic relief character who bonded with two of the most popular characters of the show - Dustin and Steve - since s3, showing the watchers the struggles of a queer person in the 80's in a "light" way and making the viewers to cheer for her love life, of course her character holds a big role with byler building a romantic relationship.

Robin appeared in Season 3 because the viewers wanted Milven to happen in season 2 - thanks to the heteronormativity and kids sexualization I may say - when it wasn't going to, it wasn't scripted like this and it's not going to be endgame. So Robin's creating a scape route for the writers.

The hints given about Will being called a f@g and Mike over protective and supportive behavior with Will were not enough to create this bridge between friends and lovers as we know very well.

Movie Date and Schrodinger Cat

Moving on. We know Will is gay. Okay. What is still uncertain in the show is Mike's sexuality and required feelings towards Will. Here, we are focusing in the required feelings part.

I read a lot of analysis about the "movie date scene". I remember people discussing the blushing frame and the holding hands theory even before s4 coming out and at the time it sounded like joke to me - as I said I'm really skeptical. Yet, after rewatch the part and reading a lot (especially @greenfiend 's one about the holding hands thing), I feel like I finally understood why the scene is so spoken of.

It's pretty simple, it's another open door. Not like Robin who is there to guide us to read between the lines but as something that is open to interpret and rely on when they finally get together. It was made for when people start to question "where did this relationship came from?" and create assumptions like "it came out of the nowhere".

In the scene, Lucas, Max, Mike and Will go to Starcourt's movie theater to watch a horror movie together. When arguing about Mike's behavior, Lucas remarks that he is spending romantic time with his girlfriend by going there. When they are finally inside, lumax and byler sits separately, then things start to get really fishy.

The construction of the whole next part, when they are inside the movie theater, from the beginning of the movie to the black out and end of the scene, are basically hands. Hands everywhere. In the close ups, in the people around them and even in the movie. Why? For us to see it, to think of it, to imagine. To imagine what? It's up to you of course, but we know people hold hands at movie theaters, specially when watching a horror movie, and we also know byler is the main focus on that scene for some reason.

But they didn't show us their hands, did them? No. Because of that, no one can really say they were holding hands, but the same can't be said about them not holding their hands. The construction of the scene deliberately leads us to question the possibility, however there is no true answer. Like the Schorodinger Cat, they are holding and not-holding their hands.

Also, the "are you okay?" Mike says, the camera play and Noah's acting leads us to think that, if they are holding their hands, it was Mike's initiative, not Will's.

The whole scene is purposefully dubious.

Noah looks down at his hand at the end of the interaction, up again, and then smiles. It's there but they don't show us! At the same time, if it was an unromantic moment, they would've shown us they were holding hands as they did before, so why not? Why do they keep the whole thing subtle, calculated, and masked by the MF plot if not to hold a secret meaning behind it all. A secret meaning for us to discover yet.

Like pleaseee, I swear this is some kind of torture for us gay people.

Mike's character construction and Finn's acting

I'm a ST fan since the beginning. I was here when the major public liked Jonathan better than Steve, when Mike was the favorite member of the party, and Finn was treated as one of the best child actors of the show. Looking back, it's pretty obvious things changed a lot since the third season.

Why things changed? In the last two seasons, Finn was accused of being "out of the character" and "having a bad acting". And Mike turned into a douchebag in public eyes.

The truth is: the way the writers had chosen to show us Mike changed. He still is the same insecure, paranoic, loyal, compassionate character who is a jerk sometimes from the beginning, but we didn't get the chance to see his POV since s2.

Mike is a character trapped in the expectations of the viewers. They expected him to date El, to love El as a girlfriend, to treat her the way she deserves - what he can do, but clearly not as a boyfriend. Their relationship wasn't scripted the way it happened, so his character needed to go through some changes to remain himself. And, of course, for mlvn to end, the viewers needed to hate his version with El. Again, it is a scape route.

His character is still the same, but the way we see him is different. The truth is the viewers expected Mike to acts towards El the way he did with Will after they started dating: unconditionally supportive, trusting, and understanding, but guess what? This was never on Mike's character to begin with.

He doesn't understand, trust, or support people unconditionally. They are showing how much he is inflexible and selective in what he wants to believe since the very first episode, we can see that in the relationship with his family and friends. Just remember his fights with Lucas in s1, s2 and s4 and Dustin in s2 and s3, they are his CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, but even them don't have the pleasure of Mike's unconditionally support and trust. The only character he is truly open to is Will.

These changes were made for us to see the difference between Will and the rest of the world for Mike. In season 3, when he appears to be a jerk to everyone, no exception at all, the only person he seems to retract this behavior for is Will. In season 4, Mike fights El and Will, but again, the only one he seems to understand and retract from his defenses for is Will. Again, the only person he is really open with.

Now, speaking about sexuality, the other reason for people to blame Finn's acting is the awkwardness in kissing and intimate scenes - like the first I love you he heard from his girlfriend.

I don't know about you, but for me, it is almost painful to watch them kissing. Not only kissing, the whole dating thing looks like a performance, and it's not a good one, if I may say. But here is the thing, it's on purpose! The same goes for the looks he gives Will's and Eddie's body.

Don't even think that every look, expression, or camera play is not calculated. These people spend so much money in the show for it to be half assed by bad acting or misinterpretation of the script.

[actual-changeling]

no i am not done with the breakup scene yet. it haunts me during the day and it haunts my dreams, soon i will be able to replay it in my head on command. today's obsession: tell me you said no

firstly, i think it's important to point out just how deep the miscommunication runs here. aziraphale is excited, outright giddy about the news he is delivering, and he expects crowley to be just as happy about them.

after all, he thinks he is giving crowley what he has always wanted - they can go off together, he can be an angel again, which to zira equals being on the good side. the side of *light*. he remembers crowley's creation, remembers how in awe and happy he was with it, and thinks that is what he is offering.

aziraphale's expressions during this scene are probably gonna be their own post, but long story short he switches between excited and confused like a broken light switch, unable to decide which one to settle on.

crowley, well, crowley is angry. angry and confused and completely caught off guard because aziraphale is shaking the very foundation of what crowley currently thinks to be their relationship. the horror dawns on him pretty early, but he tries to fight it off, tries to convince himself that no, aziraphale wouldn't. he wouldn't agree to that, he KNOWS me. he knows i don't want to go back, he knows both sides are equally bad.

tell me you said no. tell me i wasn't wrong about you, about us. tell me i didn't misjudge our entire relationship. tell me the last millennia were worth something, anything.

tell me you said no.

if you rewatch the scene, you will notice that crowley never breaks eye contact, he stares aziraphale down the entire time. unless it was literally blink and you will miss it, i am pretty sure he does not even blink. not once. aziraphale on the other hand is looking everywhere but at him, his gaze flicks around just as much as his expression. crowley tries again, one last time. tells him you know they will both destroy this planet, humanity, us. it doesn't matter which side wins, the result will be the same. we KNOW that. we SAW that. we stopped it from happening.

aziraphale does not answer.

he does not have to. crowley can read him well enough to know exactly what he responded, and even if he couldn't - he knew from the beginning. he just cannot believe the answer. he still can't.

it's one of his fatal flaws, isn't it, believing in aziraphale and in them against every rule and threat the universe throws at them.

now to get to the part that breaks my heart.

crowley repeats himself again, not breaking eye contact while aziraphale tries to avoid his gaze.

tell me you said no.

he still hopes. after that entire conversation, he still hopes.

when the silence stays unbroken he steps towards him, asking one. last. time.

angel tell me you said no.

this. this frame. this is when the realization hits him full force, the truth he has been trying to talk and rationalize his way out of. he has been begging aziraphale to tell him that he did not betray him, them.

everything he has been fighting for the last six thousand years, all the thoughts telling him he is worth less than aziraphale because he fell, because he is a demon, evil, on the wrong side. everything he has been unlearning, accepting that he can be kind, he can be good. accepting that aziraphale cares about him, fuck, maybe even loves him.

crowley thought aziraphale is the one being that sees him, truly sees him, which is why he offers himself without his glasses - his last layer of protection.

he betrayed us. he has never been with me, we have never been on our side, not when he chooses heaven over the fragile, peaceful existence they have carved out for themselves. he took care of the bookshop, allowed zira to take his bentley, cleaned up and tidied and prepared it for his return, for the both of them. just to get all of it thrown into his face, to have it degraded as not good enough. to have HIMSELF degraded as not good enough.

and after all that. after that realization, the pain, the break in what he thought was their reality.

after aziraphale telling him that he plans on leaving earth and wants crowley to be someone he is.

crowley swallows his tears and he steps back, keeps his glasses off and continues with his confession anyway. his voice breaks several times throughout it, he is on the verge of crying. i will probably make a separate post about all that but once again, tldr he suppresses tears throughout his entire speech.

i want to spend eternity with you and he cannot say it because he knows he would break on eternity and start crying. somehow, crowley still hopes that maybe this will change his mind, this will make him realize that he needs to stay here, stay with me.

crowley hopes and hopes and hopes and aziraphale finally meets his gaze and all he responds is nothing lasts forever.

no, i don't suppose it does.

still, what is left but to keep hoping that maybe one day, they will be an us, even if it isn't forever. even if it's just one day, one kiss, one second of being held and kissed back.

crowley keeps hoping and that, to me, is the most painful part of it all.

[tonydaddingham]

so i had the bright idea of rewatching s1 today whilst im working from home, now knowing what i know about s2, and so i can ruminate a little more on s1 with the additional context. ive barely made it past five minutes

im pretty sure ive gotten most of the frames accurate from this bit, and im sure it might just be a bit of demonstrative cinematography (which ya know, *chefs kiss*) but at the same time i love going into full year 9 english teacher mode about this shit, and i think there is something to comment on (which someone already might have done but w/e). in any case, this bit of dialogue is very noticeably layered with shots of crowley and aziraphale, but intercut with the shots of adam facing down the lion:

like, i can't help but feel that there is some symmetry in this and either other people have spotted it and im very behind, OR we havent spotted it and s2 spoilers have helped unlock it✨

so who is meant to be who here? for my money it would be that adam is mirroring aziraphale, and eve is mirroring crowley - in so much that at a really shallow level, aziraphale is a platoon leader, a guardian, fought in the war etc. crowley, regardless of his rank, is a starmaker, and let's face it the boy has the structural integrity of a strand of dried linguine. so we could look at it on that level (ignore the lion for the moment ill sort of explain that if it isn't already obvious)

but also we now know that this scene is not their first meeting, and that aziraphale and crowley do in fact remember each other and know that they have met, and in aziraphale's case is probably the teeniest bit shy bc damn heart eyes as an angel, heart eyes as a demon 🥵 but my point is that this is after the fall. after (as far as crowley tells it) crowley fell for 'just ask[ing] questions", and "just hung around the wrong people".

now i have my thoughts on why crowley fell: tldr because it would require another post - both reasons he gave above are bullshit and obvs conflict with each other, so i think that he doesn't actually know why he fell and has just guessed his transgressions so he can rationalise it, that god actually never had an issue with him asking questions, and instead it was actually god's plan to make him fall so he could represent the 'evil' side of free will on earth, as aziraphale's counterpart, and essentially ensure that humankind stays eternally 'in balance'

ANYWAY so the fact that in the lion sequence, 'crowley' is being shielded by 'aziraphale' against an unknown entity; but does this mirror a flashback, or is it foreshadowing? again, id put my bets on the former visually, but the latter... lyrically? idk the word but regardless take the dialogue:

"What if I did the right thing;

with the whole 'eat the apple business'?

A demon can get into a lot of trouble;

for doing the right thing."

so let's rephrase this:

"Was it the right decision to fall;

was I right to choose this for myself?

to choose the right to choose?

Because i feel like i could live to regret it."

so is crowley in essence already asking if aziraphale is on his side? is he asking if falling was the right thing, the good thing, to do (regardless of whether god gave him any choice in the matter)? But was he given the choice, first true free will? did aziraphale try to protect him during the fall, so crowley could get out in time (but ultimately fail? or at least bought Crowley enough time to find a back staircase and fall gently and peacefully, 'saunter vaguely downwards'?), and then get assigned to earth to be the 'good' side of the coin for humanity?

and is crowley asking if aziraphale will continue to be with him? in whatever romantic, platonic, acquaintance context you want - is he asking aziraphale if aziraphale will fight for him again, for them both? aziraphale made his decision, enacted his free will, in giving the humans a sword, and thus brought the concept of war and horror to earth, even if that was never his intention - so now swordless, and now only condemned to watch humanity as it strides out on its own (or was this the plan all along?👀), is aziraphale willing to do it? does he have the power, the strength, the will? would he stretch his finger over the line to fight on their side?

maybe im asking the wrong kind of questions, but all ill say is that in the above sequence? at the end of the dialogue? adam kills the lion.

i think 'their side' began in the job minisode, yes maybe, but also maybe the idea of it, the understanding of it, was planted here.

[chaos0pikachu]

So I wrote a bit about the film making of The Sign already but I wanted to dive a bit more into the VFX aspects b/c the show is - justifiably imo - getting a lot of praise for their work.

So I'm going to quote this video by VFX artists that I think sums up why, overall, the CGI works in The Sign:

"It's very interesting with a smaller budget Jurassic Park was crunched into choosing their VFX shots very very wisely and they didn't hold shots for longer than they needed to."

(I recommend watching the entire video, there's a lot of great discussion and education on how VFX is done in film. They're not simply "reacting" but talking about the techniques used in the film making itself.)

This is partly what The Sign is doing really well, they're not lingering on any shots, they're using their budget well by picking the most impactful moments to include more expensive and complicated CG effects.

What I love about smaller or mid-budget films is you can tell when the crew had to get truly inventive, creative, and purposeful when choosing how to portray a specific effect or action in a scene. Jaws is one of my favorite examples of this; Jaws cost 9 million (about 51 million adjusted to inflation) in 1975, and the shark animatronics (there were 3 pieces) was difficult to work with. This led to Spielberg and the crew switching things up and going for that shark POV that's now really famous.

It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't 100% planned or originally intentional, there was an issue, and the crew reworked things within their budget so they could still accomplish their creative goals.

The iconic first scene of the t-rex in Jurassic Park is a combination of an animatronic and CGI. In the video above they talk specifically about how this was filmed, and how setting the scene at night, with a singular main light source, and covered in water, really helped make the t-rex look "real". And why that scene holds up really well even today.

The Sign has used moments of CGI very sparingly which works within the story yes by building up tension within the narrative mystery, but also in the film making. They're not overwhelming the audience with it, whilst also using real sets and props to blend in with those scenes AND using a lot of the CGI in specific spaces.

The scene in ep01 where Phaya meets the Naga for the first time is a good example; the water is dark, there's only a singular light source (above) and there's a general lack of background. With only one light source, the VFX artists don't have to worry about shading every inch of the Naga to photorealistic standards, the image doesn't have to be insanely sharp b/c the water adds a layer of blur to everything, and since it's already a mystical creature the audience already has a higher suspension of disbelief anyway making us more forgiving to the fact this is not a "real" creature.

Compare this mythical creature with the dragons from Game of Thrones:

I want to first say I do think the special effects of GOT were really good, the VFX team's work is to be appreciated. But see how there's more light sources required for these dragons? They're just not just within a limited area, they're outdoors in the open which requires more math (literally) on where the light will bounce and reflect, plus all the disparities in texture on the dragons themselves. See how parts of their wings are more noticeably red then others?

Game of Thrones was a show with millions upon millions in it's budget, so they can indulge, The Sign doesn't, so they have to be smart. And they are!

Another standout scene so far in the series as far as filmmaking goes for me is from episode05.

If you look closely you can see the edges around Phaya are a bit blurred out and rewatching the scene you can see an image of him is almost transposed over the actor as well. It gives it a pseudo 3D effect, which helps blend the actor into the fake background which makes it less obvious it's, well, fake.

Then there's the Big Moment, the reveal of our Garuda:

I'm partially not convinced this was 100% CGI I'm wondering if they used a bit of claymation or maybe a miniature or something (maybe a puppet?). The weight of the movement and body feel like something more close to the use of a puppet or animatronic than straight CGI. (If you want to read more about miniatures in film I recommend this article on Godzilla 1954!)

But what I find smart about this shot is that the focus of the camera is on the Garuda, Phaya is much smaller and lower in the frame. I say this is smart because being distance from Phaya allows for the Garuda and the background to take up more space in the frame and contrast less with the real elements, ie Phaya's real human body. It also makes the Garuda more imposing, dominating the frame at a higher angle, and gives a sense of largeness in comparison to Phaya's smaller human self.

Since the Garuda is against an already fake background there is no need for a "light source". Notice how the Garuda has no shadows or light reflections, unlike the Naga from before (or the t-rex)? This makes less work for the VFX team b/c now they don't have to math out where all the bits of shadow, light, and color textures would come from, everything is flat and singular.

Keeping the Garuda at a distance as well, means we're not looking at or for the details of their feathers, or body. We see there is texture to them, but it doesn't need to look photorealistic b/c of that distance in the frame.

Contrast it with Simba from Lion King 2019, or Detective Pikachu:

Again, I think both look very good, but they need to because the audience is so close to the characters in frame. If Pikachu or Simba didn't have this level of care and detail put in when the audience is literally right in their faces everyone would notice how fake they look and complain (I mean I still complained about Lion King but b/c it was a bad and visually boring film but the VFX team did a great job).

We know this because Ant Man Quantumania didn't put the same care and effect in and it looked horrible. Everyone clowned Modak, and fair, but it wasn't just him that looked bad. Entire set pieces look clearly fake, like why is Ant Man suddenly in Zanarkand??

In the second image, look at Scott and Cassie's clothes, you can see the light on their clothes (especially Cassie's) isn't the same as what's happening in their surrounding environment (which is a lot jfc). It's also just poor film making because the frame of both shots is cluttered to the god damn BRIM with STUFF our eyes aren't sure what to focus on. There's a lack of perspective and weight given to the scenes (compare these wide shots to Jurassic Park when our protagonists see the dinosaurs in an open field for the first time, there's a sense of WONDER). So our human characters get completely lost in the frame and feel overwhelmed entirely. They also stick out because the CGI isn't fully well rendered.

Possibly my biggest chaotic take to date, I prefer the CGI in The Sign to Ant Man 3 there I fucking said it. Ugliest MCU movie to date I said what I said.

There is at least care going into The Sign, there's thought, there's creativity, there's a sense of passion. I can forgive that the Garuda isn't photorealistic because it doesn't need to be, it needs to be visibly believable within the world it's set in and it does. The show has been very smart about when to employ it's special effects, and how to film them. It's taken care. It has more in common with films like Godzilla Minus One which had a budget of 15 million and looks phenomenal, way better than Godzilla vs Kong or what we've seen from Godzilla x Kong (which I am looking forward to b/c I'm godzilla trash).

anyway watch the sign it's gucci

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.

Today's episode: Season 1 Episode 6 - A Remedy to Cure all Ills

Before I start, let me just say, I'm really happy I'm getting to rewatch the earlier seasons. Of course the next random episode might be literally season 5 or something, but it's great that it hasn't happened yet.

Let's fucking start bitches

Not the wiggly evil fingers just a few seconds in.

Damn boy you got some dirty ass nails, wash your hands.

MORGWEN MY BELOVEDS!!!! Also the way Gwen looked at Morgana after she asked who'd she want the flowers to be from. Girl looked ready to risk it ALL, let me put a screenshot actually.

OUGHHHH the brainrot is real with these two

LIKE??????? GWEN'S THIRSTY (me too)

Alright girls, enough yearning please

Ugh, I hate the little sound the bug made when it dropped from the flower. Butthole clenched in digust.

Oh thank god they DON'T show it literally entering her ear. That would've been so gross.

LETS GO INTROOOOOO

Oh Gwen looks BEAUTIFUL in that yellow color. It does everything for her!!

"She's all but dead, Merlin." JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GAIUS

Most suspicious ruse of all time. "Oh, i have a cure for all ills. And also I know the king's ward is very sick. But anyways, I'll be at the inn :)." Bitch.

"But I'm not worried." me when I lie. Merlin is so bad at lying, jesus fuck

Merlin sits down to stop pacing. Arthur gets up and starts pacing. Two sides of the same coin or whatever.

Underrated Arthur shirt is the purplish one he wears in the scene where he begs Uther n Gaius to hear the strange man out. That color looks good on him. It might be his red shirt but in a weird lighting?? I can't be sure.

I really like when Gaius gets to talk all medical considering how limited the medicine world was at the time. It's really really cool, I love seeing this insight into what was possibly like to be a physician at the time. I don't of this happens much in the show.

Arthur really is so trusting when it comes to his loved ones. Of course he's not at fault, like he said what do they have to lose at this point, honestly I've done the same. It's just. Heartbreaking to notice that trait knowing what comes next.

"Science is knowledge." Merlin is such a nerd, I love him.

Oh, not Gaius and Edwin having a lying competition over here. There's a better term for it, but whatever.

Gwen is SO FUCKING GORGEOUS but girl please that's a fucking sorcerer, go AWAY be SAFE. She's so smart though. Immediately knew something was off. He tries to be all "She may die :(." to get her to be worried and not suspicious, but it literally doesn't work. She leaves the room but not because she thinks he's got Morgana's best interests at heart. She knows something is wrong. She also knows she holds no power. And on the chance that he is right and Morgana dies, she'd never forgive herself.

The fucking lying back and forth between Gaius and Edwin. Like. From the outside, it sounds like a perfectly normal convo. But they both know it isn't. And WE know it isn't 'cause we know Edwin's full of shit.

Interesting how Arthur isn't seated but Uther and Morgana are.

Who the fuck knocks on someone's door, doesn't hear an answer, and then just let's themselves in?? I'm sorry, if you're a stranger, I'm not doing that. The fuck's wrong with you Merlin, you nosy boy??

It is so sickening that these villains of the week have views that we can agree with. Yes, magic is a gift and can be a force for good, you're right! But it's because of Uther and his oppression that they turn bitter and ruthless and vindictive. And yes, you do have to eliminate those who are like Uther because they will only propagate the same corrupted and repressive beliefs. The problem, the layers, is that some of those people are actually very much capable of understanding the very fundamental logic that "Sorcerers deserve too live in freedom" but they're so filled with fear and propaganda of the contrary that it's so hard to get out of it. And that's why, if they killed Uther with magic, Arthur would hate magic even more (just like it happens in canon), which would then just repeat the cycle, etc etc. You need to uproot the system, but killing everybody is not the answer; but also having to teach such a fundamental thing, that certain humans deserve basic rights, is such a painful thing to teach, and the oppressed does not have the obligation to do so. But then the cycle just repeats and repeats and it's SHIT. Anyways.

It's so funny that in season 1 they hadn't figured out the cgi for the golden eyes so they just. simply don't show it.

The things Edwin say are like. Well-meaning. But there's just this off vibe that the most intelligent characters (Gaius, Gwen, Merlin) can just. pick up. And even though Merlin really likes what Edwin is saying, there's just something telling him... it's wrong.

Uther, of course, would never even believe anyone would just lie so blatantly and manipulate him like this because he thinks himself very intelligent; which is why he's falling for everythinggg that Edwin says. But, credit where credit's due, Edwin is an excellent liar.

Gaius wears the most cunty ring on his pinky finger, hello?

I want that ring bro.

Oop, not Gaius having his cowardice and betrayal shoved right in his face. I get it, you wanted safety. But there's consequences to your actions. And I know Gaius feels so guilty about all his friends that died at the stake while he remained safe and sound.

If Gaius would've left in this episode, replaced by Edwin, I bet Morgana would've felt so guilty. In her mind, her illness is what caused him to leave. Gaius truly was there for Morgana and Arthur in ways Uther simply could not.

OOP Gaius and Kilgarrah meeting!!!!!!!! I forgot this happened lmao

Gaius got a little taste of how infuriating the dragon is.

Wait, Gaius was employed for Arthur's birth? That's so interesting. He probably already lived in Camelot but he's been a court physician for 20 years. He was already quite old by then.

It's the way that Gaius is just. Ready to throw his whole life away to make sure Merlin is safe and sound. That's his fucking son, bro!!!

What the actual fuck, they're gonna make me cry :(((( Gaius called Merlin a blessing and his son, I can't.

THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE IM GONNA CRY

Gwen is so iconic, speak the fucking truth girl.

THAT ICONIC GWEN LINE YESSSSSSSSSS QUEENNNN

Not Gaius with his lil blanket and lil fire. He looks so smol, it's so funny.

Edwin could've waited a lil bit before going all murder on Uther. That just looks suspicious as fuck ngl.

GAIUS GETTING BLOWN BACK SHOULD'NT BE SO FUNNY BUT--

I wonder how Arthur knew that his father was ill. It means he went into his room, but why? Did he have some feeling about Edwin? About Gaius leaving? Was it some courtly concern? I'm assuming no one else would have the privilege of seeing Uther at night except for his son and ward so.

Yes, Merlin, just stare at the floating axe that's being controlled by the evil sorcerer right in front of you, you're so smart. Also the slow-mo is so goofy.

It's interesting that they shot both Merlin and Edwin's eyes up-close when they did magic, Merlin to do the golden eye effect, but for Edwin it seems that his pupils just change size. I wonder if not all sorcerers have their eyes glow, if it depends on the magic. Edwin is using dark magic, could it be that? That's interesting, imo. Dark magic equals no golden eyes. Kinda fun.

Violent ass death for Edwin, damn. Axe to head, bitchass

Oh it must be so weird for Merlin to be touching Uther like that. Like that's intimate as shit.

So cuteeee Gaius calling Merlin a genius, they're adorable. He's so proud. That was a feat, though, just pure improv and luck. Merlin is still a noob at controlled magic so this was really damn good.

Love that it's so canon that Gaius potions taste like fucking ASS. Uther's face, lmao.

Interesting that Uther asked if Gaius remembered his friends that burned at the pyre, and Gaius answers "All of them." and Uther doesn't even comment. As bonkers as it sounds, they truly are friends in some capacities. I wonder if Gaius could make Uther change his mind. Not Morgana or Arthur, but Gaius. But he made the choice to abandon magic, Uther presumed because Gaius understood its dangers, but if he were to find out that actually Gaius doesn't agree, I wonder what Uther would think about that. Like a genuine and open convo about it. I think he'd just arrest Gaius for it, but I don't know. I think there's at least some reality where he gives it some more thought. But I don't know if he'd ever repel the ban, more because he'd have to admit that he was wrong, and admitting you're wrong is also accepting and processing all the shit you did for that wrong thing, and I just think Uther is too cowardly to do so. He knows it would break his mind to truly process all the pain and horror he's caused; so no matter his inner philosophies, he'll never repel the ban, because the damage has been done, and he'd rather live like that than start anew in the new reality where he's wrong.

"In the fight against magic, you are the one person I can trust." yet again. Gaius going against this? Uther can't fathom it. He's so confident that Gaius is 100% on his side.

Arthur smiling at Gaius, awww.

Two pretty bestfriends. No wonder half the kingdom wants to fuck them both. Also what the fuck is a "freeman"??? Genuinely, what is it??

And that is it. Loved it, of course.

[notafragilething]

9-1-1 Rewatch: 1x01 Pilot

Today begins the start of my rewatch and omg, they're all babies in this. Most of what this post is going to include is me rambling, making random connections and just sharing my stream of thoughts. Hopefully you enjoy. These are roughly in order of how they happened but I may go back and add details.

Buck's a kinky fuck boy with a heart of Gold. Literally the first real scene we have that focuses on Buck is him stealing a firetruck to have semi-public sex with a girl (whose name he doesn't even know) in it. Something that happens TWICE this episode. I'm glad he grows out of the fuck boy portion of this but not his love for kinky sex. This episode also has the scene that instantly made him my favorite: him running to the ambulance with the premature baby. Oliver is just really good at doing so much with his facial expressions and body language.

Bobby and Religion: Watching Bobby trying to talk the jumper down by explaining to her that everyone who has survived immediately regretted the decision just has so many more layers now that I know what Bobby was planning at this point in time.

Chimney: Seeing him dating someone that isn't Maddie is just weird and I don't like it. I honestly forgot this whole girlfriend even existed.

Athena: God she's fucking hot and badass and I'm obsessed.

Abbey: I didn't mind her the first time I watched this but now that I know how her storyline ends she kinda bugged me this time around.

Overall thoughts: This was actually a pretty solid episode. I liked the calls, even if none of them involved a fire, and I still love how they established Buck, Bobby and Athena in this one.

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Dark Blue Kiss and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I’ll cover Dark Blue Kiss and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again, and the start of the creation of Aof Noppharnach’s universe of singular BL tropes and themes.]

Let me say this: 2019 was an insane year for BLs, right? To have He’s Coming To Me, Dark Blue Kiss, AND TharnType coming out in the same year seems almost overwhelming to me (even though I know that HCTM was mostly buried for years). 

My very good luck over the last three (THREE!) weeks has been in just enjoying an INDULGENCE of past and current work by Aof Noppharnach. Studying his work is a major goal of this Old GMMTV Challenge project, as I’ve been seriously destroyed, personally, by the layers and implications of his work as an Asian director and screenwriter, with me as an Asian-American viewer watching his shows that I can relate to on basically almost every level of my existence, while not being queer. 

But, hilariously: an INITIAL goal of this project -- I cannot believe I’m saying this now that I’ve already gone through so many shows -- was that, before deciding to get to know Thai BLs historically, I had long intended to watch Dark Blue Kiss as a means of getting to know Tay and New. BECAUSE (cough cough): I am an absolute digging, sniffling, barking golden retriever for Cherry Magic. I LIVE FOR CHERRY MAGIC. I stan so stupid hard for Machida Keita and Akaso Eiji. I own their dumb mugs! I have DVDs, magazines, so much CM shit in my house. LIKE, I LIVE FOR THAT SHOW AND LOVE IT SO MUCH. 

So Tay as Kurosawa and New as Adachi? I needed to know who these dudes were before I watched them in Cherry Magic. (I’m totally giggling about this now.)

OBVIOUSLY, I’ve gotten MUCH WISER, much more HIP to the SCENE, if y’all will, and I understand much better how important Tay and New are as an OG GMMTV ship. And for them to appear in Dark Blue Kiss, after originating PeteKao in Kiss and Kiss Me Again -- I understand the meaning and importance of that in 2019, now, through my watchlist project.

There are a few themes that come to mind as I think about how I’ll review this show:

1) Watching the birth of the singular BL tropes that P’Aof created in Dark Blue Kiss -- t-shirts, picture boards, etc., 2) How he balances and integrates Big Themes in his storytelling, and 3) How he chooses particular actors to buck certain assumptions in Thai society regarding appearance.

I’ve now seen almost all of P’Aof’s major works, save for Still 2gether. And I’ve watched these out of order, although I have chronological rewatches of A Tale of Thousand Stars and Bad Buddy (and their respective Our Skyy 2 episodes) coming up on the watchlist.

So I couldn’t help but see A LOT of proto-BBS in Dark Blue Kiss, which I really enjoyed seeing, as a slavish BBS girlie. I loved seeing P’Aof’s tropes in historical form. The picture posterboard above Pete’s bed. Mork’s and Sun’s matching t-shirts. The birth of the engineering trope in P’Aof’s own oeuvre, with the first appearance of the architecture red shirt on Rain. Finger promises in HCTM and DBK becoming fist bumps in BBS. I love teasing these out and seeing what P’Aof was DOING by creating his OWN platter of tropes that he’d come to leverage and rely on in his future works -- all for creating a lovely sense of universe and intimacy among his beloved couples. (Pat wearing the forest ranger shirt in Our Skyy 2... I’m still laughing and shaking my head at that.)

I understand what P’Aof was doing by teasing out the PeteKao story and kind of slipping it away from the Kiss franchise -- not only do I understand it, I love the subversion of it. And I love that, while he was doing that, he was creating his OWN flavor of BL, complete with HIS own tropes and themes, while leveraging an already-existing property, to draw attention to the show vis à vis Kiss and TayNew. I think, by playing around with the bones of something that already existed, that he could begin to take risks to create an oeuvre that we know, now, in 2023, is utterly unique, and in my opinion, brilliant and important. (And I think it’s important to note this in particular because of how buried He’s Coming To Me was, and I think Dark Blue Kiss was an important move for P’Aof to make post-HCTM for GMMTV and for his career.)

(Tangentially, I think He’s Coming To Me and Moonlight Chicken stand alone as defiers of the BL genre, only minimally influenced by the stereotypical BL tropes, while featuring ONLY P’Aof’s own style of BL in their foundations. And as I’ve said previously -- I believe HCTM was way ahead of its time in 2019. I’ll talk a little more about this in my TharnType review later this week.)

But not only was P’Aof creating his own flavor of BL in DBK, as INFLUENCED by previous BL tropes, I also see that he was beginning to really burst out in establishing his own language of analysis of the macrosystemic issues that face the queer community -- issues that we see repeated and analyzed in his future works, particularly in ATOTS and BBS. In DBK, the major issues he tackles are socioeconomic inequality and internalized homophobia, and how these issues play out, internally and externally, among couples, their families, and their social worlds. 

These two issues crash headlong in the form of Non (played by the cutest-wutest AJ, who was SO! EVIL! but I wub him). Kao has to teach Non -- he must, because Kao needs the money to support his family, and his mom’s job would be at risk if she kept Kao, her son, from teaching her director’s son in Non.

Pete hates Non. Pete KNOWS Non is up to no good, and is after Pete’s man. Pete’s jealous of Non.

The simple equation here is: if Pete and Kao were out, then Pete wouldn’t have to feel jealous, because Kao could tell Non that Kao has a boyfriend. Pete is out to his dad. (BTW: PETE’S DAD IS THE BEST DAD IN BL, BAR NONE. PETE’S DAD NEEDS TO DAP UP WITH THUN’S MOM IN HCTM. P’Aof writes SUCH amazing parents. Gaipa’s mom FTW also.) 

I want to make quick reference to a meditation I wrote last week on pain and suffering in Asian BLs that notes this phenomenon -- what pain could have been either avoided or mitigated if a couple is able to be out. I’m of the belief that in Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars, that Pat and Pran could have possibly avoided their tiff before the trip to Pha Pun Dao if they had been out. If they had been out -- Pat would not have had to fib about their relationship to his engineering bros, and Pran would not have overheard Pat saying that Pran always needed Pat. They could have avoided the confusion all together.  

Pete and Kao fall into the exact same boat -- this is where P’Aof births a concept that will repeat itself in OS2 x BBS. Pete wants Kao to be out to Kao’s mother, so that they can be out together, to everyone. And: Pete has financial stability and security.

Pete’s boxes are checked. Kao has much more tangled issues. Kao THINKS his mom will not be happy to find out her son is gay. AND: HE’S the breadwinner. (I actually thought this was a touch confusing in the show, as Kao’s mom is clearly a teacher -- but relies on Kao as if he’s the breadwinner.) In any case, it’s clear that Kao adopts the role as the male head of the family, while still depending on his mother for emotional fulfillment. 

In other words: Kao has a much more TRADITIONAL background to contend with. To me, that’s à la Pat, à la Uncle Jim, à la Phupha, even à la Ming. All of these men have their backgrounds, their roles, all laid out for them by family and society, through culture and expectation. 

That’s a lot for Kao to break from. Because Pete has confidence through the reality that his life’s needs are squared away, Pete HAS the emotional room and ability to push Kao to be out. And I think that’s why it takes Kao so long in the show to move forward and to meet Pete where Pete was at. 

Here’s my criticism of DBK. I think DBK is a lighter show than P’Aof’s other works (again, without having seen Still 2gether). I think that’s because P’Aof knew that he still had to hew to some of what Kiss and Kiss Me Again had given him by way of cinematography (a lighter and fluffier filmmaking style than his usual serious lighting and camera work) and by tone (much more soapy and a touch more dramatic than I’m used to seeing in his oeuvre). (Oh, but, but: THAT OPENING THEME, YES, FRIENDS, WAS A BANGER. SHEEEEET. THAT THEME SONG! THOSE CURTAINS! THE WIND! THE STARES. KAO’S TEAR. So good!)

And I’m not entirely sure that P’Aof was able to get as DEEP, internally, with Kao as maybe he could have if he himself had been able to write Kao from Kao’s very existent start in fiction. P’Aof was taking this already-established character through an emotional reckoning that still needed to stick with a kind of Kao that had been born in the previous Kiss versions.

It’s a minor quibble, but I think the Non storyline ran for too long. I think it could have wrapped up much more quickly. I think we got a lot more time with Sun and Mork than I could have expected because P’Aof kind of drew out Non to keep the 12-episode bundle together.

Again, minor criticism. However, I *did* happen to appreciate how much TIME Pete and Kao spent fighting towards the end of series. That lengthy disagreement allowed Kao to really begin processing his own internal change to recognize his love for Pete, and to play around with what he’d be willing to risk by way of his family to be with Pete. It allowed Kao to consider that he NEEDED to demonstrate personal responsibility to Pete, and even to his family. I really thought that was in-depth and brilliant, and despite minor quibbles about New’s acting, I thought New carried it very well.

What’s amazing to me, though, is that Kao CLEARLY MISSED that his mom TOTALLY KNEW that he was gay, ha. Kao was SO CONSUMED with concern for what his mother WOULD THINK, that he didn’t see -- with his own two eyes! with Pete at the dinner table! -- that his mom CLEARLY KNEW. Kao’s mom side-eyed that basically from the start of the series, honey.

Despite that, what took my heart out a number of times in this show is that P’Aof showed empathy to Kao, and maybe even to the viewers that may have missed Kao’s mom’s silent acknowledgement before Kao’s coming out at the end. P’Aof was telling all of us this in the end quotes at the end of his episodes -- another unique P’Aof trope that was birthed in HCTM, and that I absolutely loved seeing in DBK and ATOTS.

(As a mom, that first slide makes me LOL so much, because it’s so true.)

Even while I felt that some DBK episodes were a little too long, a little too drawn out, these end quotes brought me back to what P’Aof was working on achieving in regards to revelation: that our human existence is so much more enriched if we’re able to transcend our worldly bullshit, even a little bit.

We see that in Kao with his mom. We see that in PETE, with his willingness to calm the eff down, bruv, and focus on his studies, and focus on managing his anger, for the sake of Kao, and for the sake of his own future. We see that in Sun, as he reorganizes himself and his insecurities to become an even better barista (I LOVE COFFEE IN BLs). We see that in Mork, as he ALSO demonstrates a willingness to calm the eff down, to promise to stop fighting to Sun, and to work on his own internalized homophobia to meet Sun as a partner. 

(I’m not going to spend too much time on Sun and Mork, but I absolutely LOVED PODD AND GAWIN, and I REALLY liked Podd’s portrayal of Sun’s very strong forwardness in his attraction to Mork. I loved his CONFIDENCE. I thought it was sexy, it was rooted in queer love and attraction, and I thought it struck a different and OPEN tone of movement in relationship-building that I haven’t seen in the previous watchlist BLs. Sun reminded me a bit of our fabulous guys in Make It Right -- that kind of almost earnestly honest openness.)

I want to note, in conversations with the wonderful @lurkingshan​, that we realized that in HCTM and DBK, we saw the start of P’Aof making a few other subversive choices in his shows. I wish I were more of an expert on the impact of colorism in Thai media and society, but I can extrapolate enough as an Indian (unfortunately). I couldn’t even SEE that Tay was a shade or two darker than New, but so be it. @lurkingshan​ noted for me (thank you, Shan!) that it was a subversive choice for P’Aof to center Pete’s story of change, from a bruiser to a carer, within a character that was slightly more melanated than his co-lead. I note that P’Aof shows no concern over casting other melanated actors -- Ohm Pawat and Earth Pirapat, multiple times -- in major lead roles with lighter-skinned co-leads. I love these choices and that he’s pushing boundaries across fiction and non-fiction. (And that P’Aof focuses on the quality of the ACTING of these dudes, as well as their looks -- that they should not be overlooked for being melanated.)

Like I said earlier, DBK was a lighter show than others of his that I watched. It was the first show of his that I watched that had a pre-established universe in the Kiss series. But I still fell in love with it -- I couldn’t help myself. I mean, come awn, Tay Tawan. Holy noodles. 

Could Pete and Kao have had a touch more feral chemistry, à la Pat and Pran and Jim and Wen? Sure, but I’m not complaining. I think, as compared to the PeteKao Kiss BL cuts, that P’Aof got a TREMENDOUS amount more out of Tay and New (especially Tay -- Tay’s Pete in DBK and his process of change was FABULOUS).

And I noted one last connection from Kiss/DBK to BBS, as I closed out my watch with the non-P’Aof Kiss Me Again edition of Our Skyy. I noted that Pete and Kao planted a tree together. 

And then I remembered that P’Aof had beloved Pat and Pran do just the same in Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS.

Pete and Kao, Pat and Pran, plant a plant together that will grow and grow. The plant lives out in the open, growing tall, towards the sun.

It gives me the chills, a warm and fuzzy happiness, to see these patterns being born, and P’Aof paying attention to them (even if the plant idea wasn’t his originally) -- because these artistic, dramatic tropes end up communicating so much to me about the depth of love that P’Aof is able to render, through his and our beloved couples, in his utterly fabulous shows.

[Welp -- if you’ve been reading my late-night liveblogs, you’ll know that my brain has been IMPALED by TharnType. I finished the series this past weekend in the heat of angst, and I’ll do the rare thing of releasing two reviews in one week -- I’m planning right now to drop the TharnType review on Thursday. If you’re a TT fan, then trigger warning: I have lots of things to say about this show that are the most critical I’ve ever written about any drama. 

On another, MUCH HAPPIER note, after a FABULOUS conversation with the WONDERFUL @so-much-yet-to-learn​, I’ve added GAP the Series to this list. With Saint investing in it, after his whole deal with the PerthSaint and ZeeSaint mishaps, I’m just really impressed that an important figure in the BL world has taken active steps to invest directly in more directly queer content. I think GAP is a must on this watchlist to understand the direction that Thai QL in general is going -- especially with 23.5 on the way later this year. (EEEEEEE!)

With that, here’s the latest version of the list. As ever, I’ll take comments, recs, etc.!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018)  11) TharnType (2019) (review coming) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) (watching) 13) Theory of Love (2019) 14) Dew the Movie (2019) (not an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but I want to watch this in chronological order with everything else) 15) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 16) 2gether (2020) 17) Still 2gether (2020) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 20) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 22) Lovely Writer (2021) 23) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 24) Not Me (2021-2022) 25) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 26) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 27) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 28) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 29) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 30) GAP the Series (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 31) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 32) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 33) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

[nalyra-dreaming]

Please let me start by saying this is not directed at you in the slightest and I hope it doesn't come off like it is. I respect and enjoy your blog a lot and I’m a huge fan and agree with most of your opinions. However, I feel the need to say I think some people in this fandom are being very hypocritical about the recontextualization of the drop scene. I understand why it could be upsetting to Lestat fans, myself included, but behavior from some blogs I’m seeing is reminiscint of some of the extreme views of some of the Loumand shippers who wanted things to go a certain why and started screaming when they realized things weren't going to go the way they had hoped. I understand it to an extent. I wanted the scene too be something other than what it was too, and it still might be, but saying things like “this is just poor writing designed to give Louis brownie points and appease POC fans” and “I’m quitting the show” sounds a lot like old times if you know what I mean when some of these very same blogs throwing tantrums right now were so quick to call out bad behavior on the Loumand end. You may chose not to share this but thank you for not going low even though I know this outcome might be potentially dissapointing. That makes me like you even more than I already did.

:) Thank you. 💕 (And glad you like^^)

First off - I have not seen much of what's "out there", since I have been in DMs and asks today, and, like scrolled my TL twice.

However, I can imagine.

As said here, I understand, even if I do not wholly agree.

And... right now we are (almost) all reacting to hearsay and second hand information.

The show is doing the long game. It's a puzzle, and a POV show. We're getting Armand's and Louis' POVs this season, and ... we already know now that what we get to see... is not the truth. Not the whole truth.

Does that not... warrant a mental step back?^^ Let's get the popcorn and try to find all the little breadcrumbs they left for us, because I BET there will be a lot, especially on later season's rewatches :))))

I mean, we cannot see the big picture yet - and that is intentional. The puzzle is far from done.

With that said, maybe, if I may... maybe it is even good that something leaked already.

Because now the emotional uproar (that obviously happened and for me as well) will have passed when most of us (including me) will actually get to see it. Oh, we will watch it in a different emotional state than we might have done if it had not been leaked, true... but sometimes that is a good thing. Sometimes it enables us to take that mental step back.

Our emotions are a beautiful thing, but they can also dull our other senses, or make us blind for other considerations.

I will definitely be able to perceive the context a lot better now that some of what will happen has been processed emotionally.

And in this show? Context is that what matters :)

Layers upon layers. And context, context, context :)))

And I will dig my proverbial claws into that instead^^

[prairiedust]

one thousand days of destiel, or cas: fuckerupper of endings

Idk why I’m crawling out from under my woodpile to write this, except that it occurred to me that in three years I’ve not rewatched a single episode of Supernatural and have at least two dozen tags yet blacklisted on tumblr, and that I am still not okay about this stupid show.

I never tried to tie up the folklore/author themes I’d been geeking out about through the last seasons, neither as the show was ending nor afterwards. I’ve been simmering now for over a thousand days. I could not even write a complete sentence about spn for all this time, and so I just left that pot on the back burner and did other things. Finished my Master’s degree. Started a new job. Saw my oldest child graduate from high school and move off to college, and helped my younger child move on to sixth grade. Watched some other shows, got a new blorbo, saw some movies, started painting again, picked up a couple of new hobbies as I am wont to do.  

Today is the 5th of November, 2023. (ETA i sat on this for a bit.)

November 5th, 2020, was exactly one thousand and ninety-five days ago.

I see gifs from the show from time to time and I think to myself, wow, that scene/episode/series is completely irrelevant to my life now. I am fine and normal about everything. But if it really was, if I really was, it would not hurt so much to see the gifs and the lyric posts and the amvs when they aren’t caught in my tag filters. So maybe it’s time to get some things out of my head and onto paper.

I genuinely, nearsightedly, naively thought that since Dabb et al had been the ones writing the whole folk v author themes, and thus posing as someone we could count as being on “our side,” the folk-side of the postmodern audience, they’d honor that conceit, even to the very last shot. 

They did not.

And yet… they absolutely did.

Which hurts and is fucked up, but also it’s fine. It’s fine.

In the end, the only “folk hero” (by which I mean the only force in the spn universe capable of warping the threads of the story with any permanence) was Castiel. When Castiel left the story (of his own volition, if you can find a comfortable layer of this meta pie for that concept to rest in,) the writers reverted to God Mode. Because Castiel had been their freedom, their mouthpiece, their avenue for improvisation, and so at the end of the series…

well, we got You changed me/I love you

   •

and then we got “Cas helped.”

So much has been written about that pivot point, but genuinely I don’t give a rat’s ass about rewrites, producers, the cutting room floor, or COVID. It exhausts me, and I’m not beholden to writing about spn for grades or notes or any kind of other bullshit that would oblige me to do research.

I feel like… we got what we got.

So let’s criticize some media.

The Paradox: 

Cas imploded— went from flexing the narrative from within to being narrated by a force from without. And I couldn’t bear to wrap my head around that for a long time. It seemed that this “twist” was beyond cruel. That’s what he got. Vanished and nerfed. For saying ily. That was what happened when he was finally in focus, fully revealed. He lost. He was relegated, along with Jack, to become heaven’s Two Men and a Truck.

It was a trick, the whole “Chuck is a writer” plotline. The Author regained control of the character that had previously been acting independently. Very Pirandellesque, very frustrating, ultimately even tragic.

So, yes, thematically and critically, having Castiel give up his Agency for Characterhood– giving up his ability to create plot for a role as a character in a plot— was ‘literary’ brilliance. It cemented his status as a grand fucker-upper of the show in a way that any show writer “authoring” a requited destiel ending would not and could not have done. Even Jack, I believe, had been “manipulated” into god-hood from within the narrative. Jack was Dabb’s grand metaphor, he was a product of Author. Castiel was… well, he was a chaos engine from the moment he walked through those barn doors. 

To seal the metaphor, the writers ended up living that truth.

I really don’t know if I’m being cogent about this. I’ve been struggling to turn this idea into words for, like, ONE THOUSAND DAYS.

The folk-vs-Author themes becoming A Thing in The Supernatural Show was like a chemical reaction: once the ions had bonded, the resultant compound could not be separated back into the different materials. What on that screen was Author, what was “author,” ie show writer, and what was text-experiencer-as-author? Where did the Sam-as-magician arc go, what were we supposed to do with the semi-metatextual moments that Mary had, having been brought back into the narrative by Amara, not Chuck? Everything got so out of control. Add in a smidgen of secret-sauce-TPTB possibly superseding the author/Author, and what you get is that ridiculous mess of a final two episodes.

It’s not about the rusty trombone or the butt hole pleasures. It’s about love. And kids.

Thank you, hon. It really is. (The above line was left in this doc by my spouse. It is a quote from The 40-Year-Old Virgin. I’ll allow it.)

Anyway. It was hard to see past the sound and the fury of it all. 

*****

I was feeling nostalgic several months ago and took a swim in my old meta tags; I found a gem from season…10? Idk and idc, but it was from “The Things We Left Behind.” 

I compared Claire to Sleeping Beauty (a tale that got a lot of use in later seasons) and wrote: “I tend to think that Castiel’s entire arc is about desperate and unintentionally misguided attempts to Change The Ending of whatever story he’s shown up in” and reading that again really kind of sucker-punched me.

‘We’re making it up as we go’ was the crux of Cas’ existence. Remember that half-related story in Baby wherein Cas got himself hitched to the Djinn queen? Remember when Jack died and the Empty came to claim him in Heaven and Cas made that terrible bargain? The last-minute attempt to gank Lucifer that actually got him killed and sent to The Empty?

Time and time again, Castiel’s go-to for “changing the narrative,” for advancing his plot, is self-sacrifice. In Chuck’s house against the archangel. The Leviathan disaster. Saying ‘yes’ to Lucifer. The Bargain for Jack in Heaven. And those times it worked out. Not without great pain for both the other characters and for the viewers, but he always came back. 

And with each return, his motivation became clearer. (Picture your favorite screencap of Dean here.)

Cas’ love grew, crystalized, and then disappeared, like frost on the windowpane of a house on fire.

If they had continued the CasDean storyline, it would have ultimately been The Author IRL writing/creating/manifesting/materializing ‘destiel.’ And so by putting a torch to all of that architecture, they essentially gave everything to us. Unspoilt. Fingerprints wiped. Serial numbers scratched away. Jailbroken. Whatever floats your boat. 

The confession was both affirmation and abnegation. Symbolically, The AuthorTM had washed his hands of it, but with destiel out of the picture, The Author also got his ending.

This is why “Cas helped” felt like a ‘fuck you.’ If Cas was out of the narrative, why did he come back as one of Heaven’s real estate developers? It did not fit. 

And yet. It did. Because Chuck won. Chuck, or everything that an Author represents in television land– TPTB, showrunner legacies, multiple producers, a chaotic and treacherous and politically messy writer’s room, multiple incompatible or unresolvable MOs and visions— all that ends up being packaged and presented as a single unerring vision.

So I have to admit, although I don’t have to do it with any ion of grace, that in the end it was pretty fucking smart.

Destiel is ours. Destiel is the folk ending. The Author never got to touch it, never so much as breathed on it, was so far divorced from the concept that the absence thereof going forward hit us like a truck full of bricks.

Yes, it hurts that Dean was just left on the floor until the credits rolled, that there were no final words, no ensuing acknowledgement. 

I’ll go so far outside the Text as to address the ‘Dean can’t reciprocate’ direction from one of the scripts:

If Dean had made a single move onscreen. Uttered a word. In Despair or either of the other two episodes.

Destiel would have been claimed by The Author. 

Anyway. I’ve been collecting posts now and again under the tag ‘the endless folklore of supernatural.’ For three years, the fandom has continued to loot, to ransack, to graffiti, to create and re-create, to burn, to mix, and to distill. 

There’s all kinds of things in that tag, it’s sort of a kitchen sink of everything that I thought was even tangentially relevant to folk-Destiel and the postmodern experience of creating text as a reader/viewer etc. 

We turned a literary story based on an urban folktale back into folklore. 

And so it goes.

I doubt I will do much more analysis of this show, even if it comes back, and I unfortunately can’t touch The Winchesters. But I can’t say I never will. I just thought three years, one thousand days, was a pretty good place to leave a marker on the trail.

—

Epilogue: About The Winchesters:

I did not finish watching The Winchesters because of something wildly, randomly, but highly personally triggering that was built into one of the episodes; however I am very sorry that it was canceled or possibly ironically lost to the WGA-SAGAFTRA strike of 2023.

“What is the maddest thing a man can do? Let himself die.” That’s the clue that leads Castiel to his hidden grace in a copy of The Man of LaMancha in 10.18 ‘The Book of the Damned,’ written by one Robbie Thompson.

I noticed from the get-go that Thompson gave Carlos the last name Cervantez. He was nodding to the self-immolation of the last cadre of writers of Supernatural and stating clearly that he was holding a pen, not a match.

Want some very fun and amusing and wildly pertinent facts about the Don Quixote books?

The narrative conceit of Don Quixote IN THE FIRST PLACE LOL is that Cervantes claims to have found a manuscript by a historian named Cide Hamete Benegeli and Cervantes thought the story was pretty neat, if a little rough; Cervantes retells the story for us from what he’d read by that author, distilling the “original” into the book we experience as Don Quixote the Man of La Mancha.

The final words of Cervantes’ Part One are “perhaps another will sing with a better pick.”

Later, someone publishing under the pseudonym Alonso Fernandez de Avellaneda wrote their own part two, feeling that the original author was taking too long to get their ass in gear (or judging by their own preface they felt that Cervantes had not even done the original story justice in the first place. Which is A Mood.)

So when someone actually did have the audacity to run off with his characters and commit word crimes with them, Cervantes absolutely obliterated the dude in his own Part Two. 

Thompson left Spn after season eleven. But, lest someone think this is a commentary about fan fic, he also wrote the episode Fan Fiction. So anyway all the Cervantez-Cervantes business was certainly something.

[streets-in-paradise]

Troy was on the TV today, and I swear it was like the universe telling me to stop procrastinating and write a few Troy fics, so be prepared for at least 2 fics to come out in the next 5 days

Also, I'll be adding The mummy to my masterlist on Tuesday, and I think I might add Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings to my masterlist, too, at some point

OMG YES YES!! I'M SO READY!!

( luckly, I also have been able to work on troy fics today. Turns out all i had to do In order to focus was disconnecting a bit from online presence.)

I am not proud to confess I have let my world stop on the rare ocassions Troy gets reruns on TV.

A few years ago, for example, I remember to have skipped a class from a college course because I catched it on TV while I was eating prior to getting ready to leave for said class. My younger sister, that was just returning home, got like " hey, they never rerun that one!" and we just stayed there watching it together. ( I got top grades on that course anyways, so I didn't miss much skipping one class lol)

It hits different when I catch it on TV, brings an extra something. Like a nice surprise you didn't see coming and, for me at least, an extra layer of nostalgia because I originally discovered it that way.

Plus, TV tends to air theatrical version and that one is harder to find online. I do tend to prefer director's cut, but that one cutted the fluffy scene of Helen tending the wounds of Paris and that scene can't be found in youtube. If I want to see it for once, i gotta find the original cut.

Overall, I prefer Director's Cut, but catching a TV rerun means I can rewatch theatrical for once.

Btw, all of this is awesome news!!!

POTC and LOTR form alongside Troy the holy trinity of my old date fixations ( yes, Orlando Bloom being my first celeb crush as a kid got me there when first watching Troy, but I stayed for everything else)

I am also toying with the idea of adding the mummy to my fandom list. I rewatched it last week and I think i'm going to test myself posting an oneshot on the next couple of days. If after that I feel i did a decent job, I will open the mummy requests.

[transmascutena]

Never got around telling you that I watched the transfeminism in utena essay and loved it!

Today I finally rewatched Adolescence and loved it as well, I think it's one of my favorite movies, it's visually stunning and so amazingly haunting/hypnotizing, felt like I was in a trance while watching it.

(and oh my god Anthy is my favorite character in anime of all time, I adore that she gets so much more dialogue and screen time in this, specially towards the end. Hearing her say the "Give me the power to revolutionize the world!" line made me tear up)

Just wondering your thoughts on it, or your favorite thing about it (?) Idk! If you have any rant about aou I'd love to read it

sure, i'll rant a bit about aou! this is mostly just my thoughts on various parts i like and dislike, not really any analysis.

i have mixed feelings on adolescence that change every time i watch it but mostly they're positive. i think my favorite thing about it is anthy. i love that we get to see her be more free and more forward. i love that it's her narrative, that we get to see what her and ohtori are like without akio (though still haunted by him.) i love the reading of the movie as a sequel, in that the show is about anthy escaping her abuse, while the movie is about the lingering trauma from it. i love the "we were together in killing the prince" line from utena at the end. i love that they're both free and together now. i also love the visuals of it, of course, it's a gorgeous movie. and i appreciate that we get to see utena and anthy in a much more explicitly romantic relationship, even though i do prefer the subtlety of the show by a lot. all their scenes together are very good, but i especially like the bedroom scene, the dance scene, and the drawing scene (i want to write some proper analysis of them sometime). i love the layers of metaphor and symbolism in every part of the movie, and that it feels even more abstract than the show. i love the car scene, it's silly and it's symbolic and it's emotionally impactful <3

on the other hand i think pretty much every part of the movie that isn't about anthy and utena is .. not very good in comparison (to the parts that are about them, and to the show.) which makes sense when you read the movie as anthy's narrative. of course she's not really focused on any of the other characters. saionji especially lacks literally all of his depth, which i think is just funny when thinking about it through that interpretation. uh, i hate the nanami cow scene which i've talked about before. i think it's unnecessary and uncomfortable and purposeless. i do however like that she doesn't appear in ohtori, because of the implication that she escaped. i appreciate touga's backstory reveal, though i don't really care for his role in the movie very much. it's never felt all that coherent to me, though i do understand what it's saying about the themes of the prince being dead. shiori has a weird antagonistic role that i don't know how to feel about. she's lacking a lot of her depth too, and i'm not sure i fully understand her motivations. or maybe i do and they're just not that interesting to me. hmm what else . akio is a far less interesting character than in the show also, but i think it works. he's not very intimidating, incredibly pathetic even, because anthy has already left/has already made the choice to leave him. also i like that he kills himself :)

i don't want to directly compare it to the show when talking about what i like about it, because obviously i like the show more. but i don't think the movie is trying to like.. compete with the show in terms of which you like better. because it isn't just a retelling of the same story. if it was, a 39 episode long tv series would always beat it in how developed its characters and themes are. which is why i think the movie works much much better when read as either a literal sequel to the show or as a continuation of its themes. it doesn't stand very well on its own in my opinion, aside from how pretty it is.

[superkitty21]

The Social Network really is THE movie of all time

I hope I never get sick of it because even after a half dozen watches this story still lives in my bones and I never want it to leave.

What struck me on my last rewatch is how dated the film is. It’s primary action set between '03-'04 and you can feel it, from the layered polos to the clunky flip phones. But that antiquated vibe is part of its charm. The Social Network an artifact—a time capsule—of a bygone era where preserving the cool-factor Facebook was tantamount and guys wrote misogynistic screeds on LiveJournal instead of 4chan. There's a layer of dramatic irony to The Social Network now that Fincher and Sorkin couldn't have predicted in 2010. The dissonance between the movie’s Facebook, which saw ads as death knell and whose privacy features were a selling point, and the monster we have now is almost laughable. `reflecting on tha gap adds a fascinating layer to the watching experience.

But the reason The Social Network endures is the characters. Despite how we feel about the real Mark Zuckerberg today, the fictionalized portrait crafted by Sorkin, Fincher and Eisenberg is endlessly compelling. I frequently ponder how credible accusations that this movie glorifies Mark are. On one hand the text is damning for him. Mark’s flaws are signposted in neon. Each of his defects, from his petty vindictiveness to his naked insecurities and selfish ego, are literally litigated for the audience to see. He ends the movie alone, still obsessed with the girl who dumped him well over a year ago.

But, to be fair to the detractors, the film does do him a lot of favours. Mark is a textbook asshole genius. He almost always gets the last word and cuts down the scavengers circling him with razor sharp rejoinders. Sorkin’s layered, punchy script is delectable to indulge in and it's impossible not to feel satisfaction when Mark gets one over the Winklevi, Narendra, and their odious lawyers. Here, and in other moments sprinkled throughout, his anti-social behaviour is justified by his brilliance.

But ultimately I land that this film is much more an indictment of an asshole than a portrait of a tragic hero. To me, it all comes down to Eisenberg’s performance. His Mark is just too pathetic to be seen with any reverence. Sure he gets a satisfying cutting line or two but Eisenberg pitches Mark so perfectly as a loser it's impossible to have much esteem for him. It's his insecure haunch and the slight tremble of his upper lip when his behaviour is challenged; his naked, puppydog desire for approval. Mark is an asshole who desperately wants to be liked. That honest portrait of his insecurity makes it impossible for me to see this movie as in any way celebratory of his character. In the end Mark is barely pitiable. The catharsis of the film comes from knowing his misery is self-inflicted.

This richness of character that’s in not just Mark but Eduardo, Sean and even minor characters like the Winklevi and Erica is why The Social Network still lives and breathes to this day. Every scene has an unmatchable energy to it. Its discordant moody score, its scalpel precise editing, that sickly yellow wash drenching the Harvard scenes is all elevated by those spectacular characters. They all come together to make The Social Network, THE movie of all time. Just a perfectly rendered picture in every way.