#review Bone Complex

[blog405095]

⚠️ REVIEW BONE COMPLEX 2024 SEE THE TRUTH IF IT'S REALLY WORTH IT!!!

[readwithem]

We're all on the mental illness spectrum in some way or another, because life is not an easy feat, with different kinds of stresses throughout, from birth to retirement. Some of us have better or worse than others, and mental health is so complex that we can still relate to each other in some aspects, either minimal or substantial. Stephanie Foo wrote a great book about her own experience as a person recovering from C-PTSD (Complex post-traumatic stress syndrome), and even though I can't imagine how it feels to have a particular mental health issue, I still found myself relating to her in terms of how I deal with my own mental state.

C-PTSD is not a very well-known illness, and it's not the standard PTSD that we all know of.

PTSD is a punctual stress disorder that manifests at a point in time due to a certain trigger, recognized by your brain as a potential threat based on past trauma. Complex PTSD, however, is an ongoing state of sneaky hypervigilance that manifests as anxiety, depression, anger, and dread. This constant and persistent malfunctioning seeps into your personhood, work, and relationships. It usually results from chronic long-term abuse, particularly in childhood.

PTSD can be treated and alleviated with medication and therapy, particularly with CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), unlike C-PTSD for which there is no consensus yet on what it takes to control it, besides the medication for the resulting symptoms above-mentioned.

Stephanie tells the story of how she managed to reconfigure the way she lives with C-PTSD, before her diagnosis, and after. She shows how small self-care habits and routines, relieved some of the pain, but not the underlying base of suffering. With trial and error, she exerted tremendous effort to look for the most effective solution.

It was therapy, that made a huge impact, but it took the right therapist for it to happen.

You can keep me engaged in anything if your writing is worth it. Stephanie is a journalist and a great writer. She's smart, witty, and pretty self-aware. She can bridge the gap between her and her reader (me) by explaining her state of mind and her pain in a clear, though not very detailed way. I could better imagine what she was going through, without getting overwhelmed.

She talks about how race, class, and politics contributed to her abuse, and how Asians are good at preserving the generational trauma. She also spent some pages talking about how lackluster the healthcare system is, how minorities' pain is usually dismissed, and how healthcare providers are so undertrained in managing mental health problems, especially when they're associated with physical ones.

Even if I don't think I have C-PTSD (I have some other issues, though), there are aspects of Stephanie's story I could relate to: Her broken relationship with her father, and her attempts to repair and maintain relationships, which only works with practice.

My favorite part of the book was her sessions with her therapist in the last few chapters. It baffles me how the most subtle behaviors, gestures, and mimics can show how strong and deep-rooted trauma can be. It takes a good, observant, and empathetic therapist to bring it to the surface.

[blinkbones]

I read all three hundred pages of that and it was interesting at times, and confusing at other times, and quite boring for the rest LOL. I vastly lacked key knowledge about history and historical geography that were needed to be able to follow what a good chunk of it was about. But still -- learned a handful of things.

And, most of all. I read this as peripheral work for a skyrim fanfiction i've been brewing in the back for a while. And I did get a handful of topics I want to look into more deeply (Iceland's no-kings-here customs! Viking sacred law! Fate as duty! that time some Romans got so lost in a spooky forest the general killed himself! POETRY!)

I can't recommend this book lmao. It's not beginner-friendly. And for experts, it's probably too superficial. So um. Idk. If you're intermediary in vikings & germanic civilisation, maybe. But I did get something out of it so I'm happy I read it anyway :) I'll probably get something more recent, with more pictures, and that focuses on culture more, when I can.

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite Continuing Manga I Read in 2023

I went into the brand new manga I read in this post, but here's an update on some great continuing series!

Shout out to She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat for having phenomenal storyline about find the courage to cut toxic family members off, which is pretty rare to see (in manga especially)! The story explores how your family can impose a relationship with food that harms you in many different ways, and how finding acceptance of your food habits helps you heal. It also continues to be a lovely exploration of queer adults finding themselves that makes the point that your experiences don't have to fit in a box.  And I appreciate that they included a character who doesn't like eating that much for me to relate to! See my first review here, 

Now for a quick word about the other great continuing manga I read:

- I Want to be a Wall really upped it's game and included a nuanced discussion about asexuality that I loved seeing. See first review here.

- Yuri is My Job is still the best lesbian drama manga around and hits hard. See previous discussion here,

- A Man and His Cat is still the sweetest and Yona of the Dawn is as action packed and intriguing as ever...I feel a climax slowly coming!

- A Bride’s Story is still wonderfully done historical fiction with lush art while How Do We Relationship continues to develop its web of queer relationships nicely.

- Witch Hat Atelier is still a wondrous story of magic, creativity, accessibility, and struggling under unfair systems, all told in a fascinating fantasy setting with loveable, complex characters and incredible art.

A lot of manga I like concluded this year too, so let's take a slightly longer look at the conclusions!

Dungeon Meshi- The conclusion to one of my favorite fantasy manga ever was fittingly bombastically weird and fully satisfying. It filled you up like good food should. Live well instead of being consumed by fear of death and loss. Eat well instead of working yourself to the bone and neglecting your needs. Follow your own path, but cherish your connections and get together for a good meal. This series and its intricate world and wonderful characters will stay with me for a long time.

Catch These Hands- See my first review here. I enjoyed the cute conclusion to this series, and it was nice to see a little ace rep and a message about not conforming to society's expectations of "adulthood". It's an ode to delinquent girls that a sukeban stan like me can get behind! A lot of the stuff that annoyed me in the second volume was mostly dropped for the third and fourth, so that's also nice.

Run Away With Me Girl- See my first review here. I wish this had been a little longer, but the conclusion worked well and was cathartic.

Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon- See my first review here. A nice conclusion to a cute, slow-paced little romance series, with yet more ace rep!

The Two of Them are Pretty Much Like This- see my first review here. This conclusion felt a bit rushed, with plot lines still dangling, like it was cancelled early or something. But the series is still good overall, and I'll miss it.

My Love Mix Up -This sweet-as-pie series about cute gay misunderstandings leading to romance comes to a fittingly sweet conclusion. It's sad waving goodbye to these silly, good-hearted kids, but I'm satisfied with where they ended up.

[maxwellatoms]

Would you trust ANY Korean studio for hand-drawn animation today? I ask because, when The Powerpuff Girls came back in 2016, I noticed how slow and stiff the Korean animation was. Since then, most Burbank cartoons animated in Korea, namely Cartoon Network shows, have been like that — mostly on 2s & with less inbetweening. Look at any Digital eMation episode of Victor and Valentino or Samurai Jack Season 5; do they animate as loosely and smoothly as Digital eMation episodes of Billy & Mandy do?

Sure I would. It would all depend on the studio and the circumstances. There are good studios and bad studios, and either of those will treat your show differently based on their perception of how valuable it is to their client. In the early 2000s Rough Draft was a top-notch studio. One of the reasons I switched over to eMation from Rough Draft was that I felt like Rough Draft was putting all of its resources into making Samurai Jack look beautiful, and we were still calling retakes on three year old issues. I knew we weren't a priority to Rough Draft, and I knew that stemmed from Cartoon Network's negotiations with them, so my griping was only going to get us so far. It seemed to me that I needed a studio that was smaller and scrappier like we were. We were putting in a lot of work on our end to make cool stuff and it wasn't ending up on the screen, so we needed people who were just as hungry on the back-end, and eMation stepped up.

There's also the fact, though, that animation itself has changed a lot in the last fifteen years. Powerpuff Girls and Samurai Jack's animation always seemed to have an air of "motion comics" to it. And frankly, that's part of what I love about it. It was all a throwback to the old UPA cartoons, which were built on strong, clear poses and made for the cost equivalent of a turkey dinner. Likewise, CN storyboard artists usually had around four weeks to write and draw their boards on paper, so there just wasn't time to take the effort to do anything too complex. It was all about snapping between those 300-ish storyboard drawings and momentarily savoring them for their humor and design mastery. Now we have tons of digital tools that make the basics of animation a lot more accessible to everyone, and have changed the entire studio pipeline. Things just won't look like they used to because nobody makes them that way anymore.

When I've had to choose an overseas animation studio, the network's production arm usually gives me one or three choices and tells me that's all there is. Deals have already been made. (Sometimes they make you pick two to save on costs, which (IMO) usually results in two studios that are less functional than any one of them would have been.) The studios usually have reels, so that gives you a basic idea of what they can do. You can (hopefully) find some other show creators who have worked with the studios and get an honest review. It's an important enough decision that it's worth whatever research you can put into it. Even over good bones, an ill-fitting skin can ruin the mood.

The most important thing to remember, I think, is that it's your job and your crew's job to make animating the show as easy as possible. Really, it's everyone's job to make the next person in line's job as simple as they can. Ideally, there shouldn't be a lot of questions because the materials you sent down the chain are clear.

So... yeah. I'd still trust Korean studios as much as I'd trust any overseas or domestic animation studio. You get out of them what you put into them by feeding them money and your own labor. It's quite possible that the shows you mentioned didn't do enough of either.

I imagine the overseas studios are hurting right now, so who knows what that landscape is even going to look like in a few years.

As with every step of the process making a TV show, you just sort of have to weigh your options and find the path.

Hmm. That got long.

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things The First Shadow Review

Synopsis: Following a horrific incident from their previous life in Nevada, the Creel family relocates to Hawkins, Indiana in an attempt to make a fresh start and instill a sense of normalcy in their son, Henry Creel. However, Henry is anything but normal, and harbors a dark secret of his own that scares both himself and his family. When a series of gruesome animal killings takes place, attracting the attention of a group of teenage outcasts and a Doctor with his own agenda, Henry realizes his secret is about to be exposed, and is forced into a reckoning that will change the course of his life, and of Hawkins, forever.........

Observations:

FINALLY!!!!

I've been waiting for MONTHS to see The First Shadow. As far back as January, we got tickets and made plans to travel to London specifically for this. Last Thursday (June 20, 2024), we were able to view it on-stage.

Was it worth it? Short answer: YES.

This is going to be divided into several parts. The first bit will detail my experience at the play, and the remaining parts will contain SPOILER HEAVY analysis of the story, the characters, and plot revelations tied directly to the mythology of the show. There's a lot to speculate on where the Duffer Brothers will take the final season from here.

Part 1: My Experience

In terms of production value, this was top-notch. I loved the set designs, from Hawkins High School, to the classic 50s Diner the characters hang out at, to the gothic Creel House, to the cold white rooms of Hawkins Lab, to the hellish landscape of Upside Down, and so on. The 50s aesthetic works well, and there were multiple shots that conveyed the sense I was watching an episode from the show.

The special effects were spectacular. Huge shout-out to the way they choreographed the mutilation of both animals and humans. It actually looked like bones being snapped and limbs twisted around. There's even a disturbing scene where Hopper and Bob are digging up the carcass of a butchered cat, and the prop they used for it looked realistic (combined with dirt and blood for nauseating effect). The lighting also helped elevate the creepiness of it all.

The music was also great. They had a nice selection of 50s songs, but they also brought back familiar themes from the show. One of my favorite musical cues was the use of Philip Glass's "Window of Appearances" which is heard when Vecna's origins are revealed in "The Massacre at Hawkins Lab" (Season 4, Episode 7). They also use it in the climax of this play:

The actors brought their A-game, but the two performances that really stood out for me were Isabella Pappas as Joyce and Louis McCartney as Henry Creel. Pappas does a stellar job combining Joyce's world-weary "I'm sick of everyone's bullshit" attitude with the fierceness that makes Joyce stand out as a character. It reminded me a little of Natalia Dyer's performance as Nancy Wheeler, especially with the "take charge" attitude that both of them have.

As for McCartney, he was the show-stealer. I didn't go into this play expecting to feel any sympathy for Vecna, but the emotional depth McCartney brings to his performance elevates the character to a 3-dimensional complex tragic villain, which makes his eventual fall to evil all the more heartbreaking.

The audience I was with was fully immersed. Most of the jokes got a laugh, there were a few screams when jump-scares occurred, and there was a standing ovation at the end when the cast came out to give a bow. Even during intermission, everyone was chatting happily about the play, and I heard nothing but compliments.

My only regret is, due to a scheduling conflict that day, we ended up missing the first 5 minutes, and they wouldn't let us in the theater until the title cards came up. We did see parts of the beginning on a TV screen in the lobby (and one of the patrons was gracious enough to fill us in on what happened), but I wish I'd been in the theater for the beginning. My advice is GET THERE EARLY if you plan to see it. The theater fills quickly, and they may not let you in at certain points.

The only minor nitpick I have about the quality of the play is there were a few moments I had a hard time understanding what certain characters were saying. This was mostly in the scenes with Henry/One/Vecna when he was either screaming or alternating to his demonic voice. I was usually able to figure out what was going on, but I wish the dialogue had been clearer.

Overall, this was a fun experience, and I even brought back memorabilia from it:

Part 2: Characters/Story (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!)

It's pretty much advertised in the synopsis, but the play takes place in 1959 when Joyce, Hopper, and Bob are in high school during the time the Creel family moves into Hawkins. The story is largely centered on Henry Creel's villain origins as he becomes more unhinged due to the power he possesses. This leads to a series of pet killings in Hawkins that catches the attention of Hopper, who ropes in both Joyce and Bob to investigate and find the culprit. All the while, Joyce is struggling to put on a play at Hawkins High School (i.e. The Dark of the Moon), which coincidentally happens to have Henry/One/Vecna as the main star! :)

These three arcs sound like they shouldn't connect at all, but to the Duffer Brothers credit, they manage to thread them in a way that's believable and engaging. Joyce's exasperated attempts to get The Dark of the Moon off the ground provide some light comedy to what is essentially a grim story, and it was a nice way for the audience to see all the adult characters from the show (i.e. Ted Wheeler, Karen Wheeler, Al Munson, Lonnie Byers, Sue Sinclair, Charles Sinclair, etc) as they were during their teen years.

The investigation of Hopper, Joyce, and Bob into the pet killings hearkens back to the old-fashioned dynamic the Party had in the first season when they were looking into Will's disappearance.

As for Henry/One/Vecna, his arc was well executed and horrifying on so many levels:

The way a young Henry Creel was portrayed in this play was oddly endearing. I mentioned earlier that McCartney brings a lot of emotional depth to the character, and by that, I mean he portrays teenage Henry as awkward, shy, creepy, funny, and even sympathetic at times. He's a kid who doesn't feel comfortable in his own skin, who has a hard time interacting with other people, and has powers that frighten him with the added side-effect of NOT knowing how to control them yet. Victor Creel mentioned to Nancy and Robin in S4 that Henry was a "sensitive child" and it turns out that was meant literally: Lights go on or off (or even explode) whenever Henry's mood fluctuates (making Henry constantly jumpy), he can unknowingly tune into the radio with his powers and mistakes it for voices in his head, he can read the thoughts/moods of other people, he can create illusions (similar to Kali/Eight), and whenever he tries experimenting with his powers, it ends in disaster. In short, he's someone who's terrified of his own shadow, and almost everything in his environment sets him off. At the same time though, there are some relatable qualities to him, such as his love for comics like Captain Midnight (which he eagerly shares with Patty), and there is an internal struggle he deals with for most of the play to genuinely be a good person in spite of the demons (both literal and figurative) that threaten to overwhelm him. He reminds me of Will Byers in some ways, and I am dead sure that parallel between these two characters was intentional on the Duffer Brothers part.

Contrary to what's implied on the show, it turns out Henry had his powers long before he moved to Hawkins. Previously, he lived in Rachel, Nevada until an incident between him and another boy resulted in said boy ending up in a wheelchair. It's ambiguous whether Henry deliberately attacked the boy or if it was an accident (it could have been either one), but it was enough to force his family to move. His parents (particularly his mother) are insistent on pretending everything is normal and that Henry will eventually get better, all the while putting more of an emotional strain on Henry as he tries (and fails) to conform.

We get a little more insight into Henry's parents, and it's not pretty: Victor Creel was already established on the show as a war veteran with severe trauma and PTSD over killing innocents during a raid, and the play depicts him the same way, with the added effect of being so wrapped up with his own issues that he fails to see his own son spiraling. The sad thing is there are scenes indicating he does love Henry (and also defends Henry's relationship with Patty, referring to it as "puppy love") but he isn't able to convey that in a way which makes Henry feel safe.

As for Virginia Creel, I don't know if this was intentional in the narration, but I found her unlikable. Putting aside the unsettling 50s Stepford Wife persona she projected, her treatment of Henry bordered on emotional abuse. She likely didn't intend that, but everything, from her attempts to keep Henry isolated from the one relationship that brings him any happiness, to constantly treating him like a time bomb waiting to go off, to pretending everything is okay when it isn't.........all of this causes whatever mother/son relationship she has with Henry to deteriorate. There's even one nasty scene where she smacks him, though she quickly regrets it when Henry lashes out in anger and forces his mom to witness a vision of herself being covered in spiders when she was locked in the closet by her abusive parents as a child. In some ways, it reminded me a little of the Norma/Norman Bates relationship from the Psycho series (minus the incest subtext) in how unhealthy it is. It was deeply uncomfortable seeing her attempt to force Henry to be something he wasn't just so she could maintain the image that she and her family were perfect. And when she realized she couldn't do that, she finally tried to wash her hands of Henry the moment Dr. Brenner showed up and offered to take Henry into his care ("Lock him up and throw away the key" to paraphrase one of her comments). I get that this is set in the 50s where there's plenty of values dissonance with how parents raised their kids at that time, and there is some context behind why she was scared of her son and his behavior (because there were times Henry wasn't acting okay), but she still handled this situation poorly and contributed to Henry internalizing his trauma and insecurities until they exploded out of him in the worst possible way. It was bad enough that Henry was dealing with something he didn't understand, but she needlessly added on to those problems.

Alice (Henry's sister) is also in the play, but she only appears in a few brief scenes, and sadly doesn't get a lot of characterization beyond being the "cheerful child" in the family. It's implied she knows that something is wrong with her brother, but doesn't look closely at it. Interestingly, they portray her like she's Henry's younger sister, even though the show established that she's supposed to be older (There's a news article in S4 that claims Henry was 12 and Alice was 15 when the Creel murders happened). Other than that, there isn't really much to say about Alice.

The three main characters (Joyce, Hopper, Bob) have their familiar quirks that will follow them into adulthood: Bob is nerdy, smart, good with technology (which comes in handy in their investigation) and the host of a radio show. Hopper is the disgruntled son of the Chief of Police who's trying to make something of his life. Joyce is high-strung, in a dead-end relationship with Lonnie, and trying to find a balance between optimism and pessimism. In a way, I'm reminded of the Steve/Jonathan/Nancy dynamic we briefly got in the S1 finale, with Joyce having similarities to Nancy, Bob to Jonathan, and Hopper to Steve. This was clearly set up as a love triangle between the 3 of them, and I have to question if the Duffer Brothers deliberately did this to foreshadow what could end up happening between Steve/Jonathan/Nancy in S5. In any case, Joyce, Hopper, and Bob investigate the animal killings when they start to happen, and while they come close to figuring out who it is, they ultimately miss the mark and pin the crime on the wrong person (Poor Victor Creel). Sadly, by that time, it's too late, and both Virginia and Alice Creel are dead.

There is a new character introduced named Patty Newby who plays an important role. She's the adopted sister of Bob and was revealed to have been taken in (or stolen as a child, as Henry later claims) by Bob's father, Principal Newby. Despite his misanthropy and awkward nature, Henry takes an interest in Patty, and the two of them develop genuine affection for one another. When Patty auditions for Joyce's play, Henry helps her with her lines (which leads to both of them getting cast as the main leads), and later feels comfortable enough to share his secret powers with her, including giving her a glamorous vision of starring and singing in a Las Vegas show. Against all odds, I actually found the relationship between Henry and Patty to be cute. Not only did it humanize Henry, but the way it was presented made sense: Both of them are outcasts with deep insecurities that they're trying to work through. Patty feels like an outsider in her family and at school due to her race (which isn't helped by people like Dustin's father making disgustingly bigoted comment towards her during class) and her complicated relationship with her adopted dad, who treats her coldly. Since Henry also feels like an outcast in his family, he's able to empathize with her, and both of them try to encourage the best in one another. In a moment of genuine kindness, Henry helps Patty locate her biological mother (who coincidentally is also a singer), and Patty returns the favor by trying to encourage Henry into believing that he is a good person and that there are positives with his powers.

I know some fans will complain about how Patty was never mentioned on the show even though she's supposed to be adopted siblings with Bob, but I'm not bothered by that. Nothing about her existence contradicts anything on the show, and it was nice to see a redeemable side to Henry that proves he wasn't a complete monster to begin with. The only thing that's harsher in hindsight is that, because Patty and Bob were close growing up, and because of Henry's affection for Patty, it makes what he does to Bob in S2 (i.e. siccing the demodogs on Bob) a lot more vile.

Finally, there's Dr. Brenner himself: If there was ever any doubt that he saw Henry and the other special kids like El as a means to an end, this play erases that. He is at his absolute worst here. Manipulative. Cruel. Determined to push Henry over the edge. Egging Henry into murdering a convicted prisoner, even though Henry fights back against doing that, all so Brenner can test him. Hurling verbal abuse at Henry, and then playing up the "Loving Papa" persona in the same way he would do with El years later. It really says something that he is the most loathsome character in the play, and that he doesn't see Henry as a person so much as a tool.

This was already a given on the show, but I still remember fans who kept making apologies for Brenner's behavior in S4 while insisting he really did care about Henry and the other kids in spite of his abuse of them. 🙄 I always maintained those were garbage apologies, and this play only reinforces that. Even though Henry is ultimately responsible for the choices he makes (regardless of the negative influences in his life), there is an argument to be had that Brenner bears responsibility for destroying whatever remaining goodness Henry had left in him until Henry became the cold, calculating monster with a plethora of rage and a deep hatred for humanity to accompany it.

Part 3: Revelations

For a while now, I've held theories that the powers El, Henry, and the other special kids have had were connected to the Upside Down. These theories were even talked about in my reviews for Stranger Things Six, Stranger Things The Other Side, and Stranger Things Suspicious Minds. I've also speculated on the idea that the Mind Flayer might be its own entity, and that Henry/One/Vecna didn't create it so much as gave it a form when he found those black particles in the Upside Down decades later.

This play confirms those theories: Not only is the Upside Down connected to their powers, but it's revealed in this play that the Mind Flayer acted as a malevolent corrupter to a young Henry, which would later lead to him becoming the monstrous Vecna.

At the beginning of the play, there's a flashback to 1943 where the U.S. military was experimenting with a new technology on the USS Eldridge to create a force field to hide the ship from the Germans during WWII. Interestingly, this bit was based on a real life experiment called "Project Rainbow," and the pamphlet I bought gives more details about it:

In the play, the technology caused the ship to end up in the Upside Down, where most of the crew was slaughtered by Demogorgons. The sole survivor turned out to be Dr. Brenner's father, who came back to the real world with altered blood in his system. He ends up dying, but passed on his secret to his son, kick-starting Brenner's scientific pursuits for the military. In other words: Brenner was aware of the Upside Down long before El banished Vecna to it in 1979.

Fast-forward a few years later. Henry is in Rachel, Nevada, playing in one of the caves with a spyglass when he encounters a rogue scientist who worked under Brenner in Nevada. Brenner had spent years attempting to replicate the experiment on the USS Eldridge in Nevada, and one of his scientists had stolen key technology and fled to the caves. When Henry discovers the technology, it transports both him and the scientist to the Upside Down. The scientist is killed, but Henry gets exposed to a malevolent entity (The Mind Flayer) before he is transported back to this world. Just like with Brenner's father, his blood is altered, and so is his personality. Brenner would later be able to track Henry down due to the spyglass he dropped in the caves after his exposure. In spite of escaping the Upside Down, Henry was now connected to the Mind Flayer, who spends the majority of the play acting as a malicious influence driving Henry to kill, and chipping away at his personality bit-by-bit:

It's not really a spoiler to say Henry is behind the pet killings in Hawkins (since he was shown killing animals on the show), but the difference here is the play makes it ambiguous how much control Henry has over his powers and actions. The Mind Flayer certainly uses Henry as a vessel, but there are moments Henry was shown to be capable of resisting it, indicating there was some manner of agency on Henry's part. In some moments, he chose to drive off the monster, whereas in others (like the deaths of Virginia and Alice Creel), he allowed the monster to work through him.

Like I said, these are theories I've held for a while now, so it felt gratifying to see them validated. While Vecna's monologue to El in 1979 implies that he was always a sociopath with powers who acted on his own accord with no outside influence, it's important to note that Vecna in that scene is an unreliable narrator twisting past events to paint himself a certain way to El. Part of it may be that he doesn't want to admit he was a victim of the Mind Flayer and that he made his own choices (Which is true: He DID have choices and the ability to reject the Mind Flayer, which we see in one scene when the Mind Flayer attacks Patty's father, and Henry intervenes on Patty's behalf to save him). Part of it may be that he's been under the hold of the Mind Flayer for so many years that, by the time El meets him, he's come to believe he and The Mind Flayer are one in the same.

Either way, regardless of what happened, there were a lot of elements stacked against Henry that makes me pity him: The Mind Flayer's influence, Brenner exploiting Henry's powers for his own selfish scientific desires instead of genuinely helping him, his parents trying to force Henry to be normal and shove down his issues instead of taking the time to deal with them..............the only positive thing Henry had going for him was his relationship with Patty. Her determination to see the good in Henry and his powers, and her belief that Henry could rise above the darkness gave some brief salvation for him. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to save him, and the darkness won in the end.

There is a slight change I was okay with: In the show, Henry mentions that he fell into a coma after killing his mother and sister. While that is true to some extent, he actually wakes up a few hours later and flees the house to go find Patty at the school. He encounters Joyce in the basement (after the power gets knocked out) and, in a scene that's both creepy and sad, he acknowledges that Joyce is a good person and warns her that the world will punish her for it while taking away everything she holds dear. There's a dark irony to his words considering he would later be responsible for the disappearance of her son, the death of Bob, and most of the problems Joyce would later deal with on the show.

Following his encounter with Joyce, Henry finds Patty on an elevated stage platform, and begs her to run away with him. She is basically his last hope at this point, and even that is taken away when Brenner manages to track him and Patty down. There's a whole "Good Angel/Bad Devil" exchange that occurs as Patty (the Angel) implores Henry to fight against The Mind Flayer while Brenner (the Devil) snarls that Henry is already a monster and he might as well accept it. All of this cultivates in Henry using his powers on Patty, having finally surrendered to the Mind Flayer's influence, and throwing her from the rafters, almost killing her. Henry passes out after this, and Brenner takes him back to Hawkins Lab, where he will spend the next 20 years as Brenner's prisoner. Patty manages to survive the fall and, thanks to information Henry gave her earlier, she's able to locate her biological mother in Las Vegas and reunite with her. The last act of redemption Henry would ever have.

These revelations help give context to the mythology of the show. They explain what motivated Dr. Brenner for so many years. They explain the Mind Flayer was well aware of this world, and that Brenner was aware of the Upside Down long before El opened the gate in 1983. They explain Henry already had troubling aspects to begin with, and that his encounter with the Upside Down and the Mind Flayer only amplified those problems. They explain how and why Henry became disillusioned, nihilistic, and angry over the next 2 decades, and how he would project that onto his enemies once he became Vecna. They explain why Henry/One/Vecna takes an interest in certain characters on the show, from El (whose upbringing and struggles are similar to what Henry went through as a child) to Will (who shares similar traits with him as an outcast and a nerd) to even Billy (with both of them projecting their rage onto the world), and went as far as to target them. And, most importantly, it explains how Henry and other special kids like Kali and El got their powers.

This does raise interesting questions that I hope S5 will explore more of:

Since Will was kidnapped and taken to the Upside Down in S1, does this mean his blood type has been altered as well due to his exposure to the Mind Flayer? Does he now possess some kind of power similar to El that we haven't seen yet but might be unveiled in the last season?

And what about the Upside Down freezing in time in 1983? Considering the Upside Down remained consistent as a hellish environment (even after El banished Vecna to it in 1979), this gives the impression that what happened there was an anomaly. I still maintain Will's disappearance had something to do with the altered environment, and I have provided theories for it in my review of Stranger Things The Other Side, but it's still a question that remains unanswered by this play.

And then there's Patty: She does survive, and last we see of Patty is her reuniting with her biological mom, but it's also mentioned she disappeared and that Bob (her adopted brother) misses her and plays songs over his radio podcast in her memory. Did Bob ever find Patty following this, or did he die before that could happen? Does she even remember Bob or Henry, or did the fall (which injured her badly enough that she now walks with a cane) cause her retrograde amnesia? Is it possible S5 might bring her back, and she could have some role in reaching out to Henry/One/Vecna? Is she still alive at this point?

So many questions that I'm hoping S5 provides answers for.

Part 4: Themes

It's no coincidence that the play Joyce produces for the school holds parallels to the tragedy of Henry and Patty's relationship. The Dark of the Moon is a ballad about a "witch boy" named John who falls in love with a human girl named Barbara Allen. He is given a human form on the condition that she remains true to him. Through a series of tragic events (including the death of their child at the hands of religiously-crazed townsfolk), Barbara ends up betraying John, causing him to lose his humanity and become a part of the fog from the place he came from.

If we're drawing direct parallels, it's pretty obvious Henry is John, the "witch boy" embedded with special powers who falls for the human girl, Barbara/Patty. The difference is that the "humanity" of Henry is more metaphorical than literal: He attempts to not give into the monstrous influence of the Mind Flayer, and Patty recognizes this and is determined to help him through the love she gives him. However, the key difference is Patty isn't the one who betrays Henry. If anything, she remains a loyal friend and confidant to Henry (even AFTER Brenner tells her that Henry killed his mother and sister) and desperately tries to convey to Henry that she believes in him and that he can fight off The Mind Flayer. Unfortunately, that proves insufficient, and it's Henry who inflicts the final betrayal on Patty, destroying their relationship, and causing Henry to become prisoner of Dr. Brenner at Hawkins Lab. He is the "witch boy" who returned to where he came from.

It should be noted that the ballad this play is based on contains these final lyrics:

They laid poor Barbra by the old church gate,

With the wild, wild rose growin' nigh her,

And witch boy roamed the mountain high,

'Til mountain fog became him.

And then one morn, before the dawn,

The fog rolled down that mountain,

It came to rest nigh Barbara's rose,

and watered there a briar.

The rose and briar climbed the old church gate,

'Til they could grow no higher,

And there they tied in a true love's knot,

The rose wrapped 'round the briar.

And so a witch and human gal,

Had conquered death eternal,

And 'neath the darkness of the moon,

Their love's entwined forever.

Could this be foreshadowing that, as evil as Henry/One/Vecna has become, there is still a chance at redemption for him through Patty? That whatever love he held for her could bring back Henry's humanity and allow him to overcome the Mind Flayer one last time? They did a similar thing with Billy Hargrove in S3 (with the platonic love he had for his mother), and since love is one of the key forces that's been shown to repel the Mind Flayer, it could work again in Henry's favor if he chooses to take it.

However, a lot of this is tied to whether Henry is capable of remorse or empathy at this point, and considering what we've seen on the show, it's a safe bet to say whatever humanity he had left in him is now gone. I'm doubtful that even if Patty shows up in S5, it'll be enough to redeem Henry. There are some things you can't come back from, and regardless of the negative influences he was dealing with, Henry still had choices, and he chose to hurt others.

In a way, Henry's story reminds me of Coriolanus Snow's arc in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes: Despite the relationship he has with Lucy Gray Baird, it wasn't enough to cancel out his negative personality traits (narcissism, entitlement, etc) and whatever love he may have had for her isn't enough to redeem him, or prevent him from becoming the tyrant we all know and loathe by the events of The Hunger Games.

Another theme present was the exploration of the adult characters and how the personality traits they had as teens continue well into adulthood. It's been speculated before by various groups of people that, internally, there's a certain point where you stop growing mentally and remain the same age, and that definitely seems to be the case here with some characters. The problem is that while these qualities might have been excusable when they were teenagers, they become less appealing as time goes on:

Ted Wheeler, for example, is depicted in the play as a dumb jock who's clueless most of the time. Fast-forward to the 80s, and he's now an apathetic father who still remains clueless. Not only is this not cute anymore, it's frustrating to his wife and those around him.

Karen Wheeler is depicted in her teens as interested in her youth and beauty and dating Ted BECAUSE he's a hot jock. By the time she's an adult, she's still into that (though she does make more of an effort to be emotionally available to her kids unlike Ted) and her desire for youth and a passionate relationship almost leads her to sleeping with Billy despite the inappropriate age difference between the two. 🤮

Jim Hopper is a younger man with a fractured relationship with his abusive father, and a lot of his motivation is rooted in trying to stick it to his dad and prove that he isn't the loser his father thinks he is. It's why he takes an interest in the animal killings around Hawkins and conducts an investigation similar to how police would do it. It's also why he joins the Vietnam War later (as he would later tell Enzo/Dmitri in S4). Even later becoming the Chief of Police on the show likely has its roots in this. Years later, long after his dad is likely dead, he's still trying to prove him wrong.

Lonnie Byers is depicted as a douchebag, even as a teen, who isn't really interested in making something of his life, who's coasting off other people, and really doesn't have any desire to improve himself. Come Season 1, and is it any surprised he's a deadbeat dad who's divorced from Joyce and still making shitty decisions down the line?

Same goes for Al Munson: The play depicts him as an improv actor who's deeply self-centered, who isn't as good as he thinks he is, and is someone who just annoys everyone around him with his antics. Anyone who's read Flight of Icarus knows he doesn't get any better as an adult, and it has completely wrecked his relationship with his brother Wayne and his son Eddie.

And then there's Dustin's father: "Asshole" is the best term I can use to describe him. He's very belittling and not well-liked (even among his peers), and it doesn't surprise me that Mrs. Henderson (who's also shown to be a cat-lover as a teenager) would eventually split with him and raised Dustin on her own.

There are a few positives though: Both Charles and Sue Sinclair come out of the play as decent people, and Sue is shown to be a loyal friend to Joyce, helping Joyce to get her play organized. I can see why they ended up together, and I maintain both Lucas and Erica are lucky to have them as parents.

The overall point is, like with Henry (who also never really grew up, and is now an angry kid trapped in the body of a 30-something adult), there is a theme that change is a process you have to work on. All of these characters (including Henry) have their own flaws they have to work through, and it is a choice about whether you put in the hard work of overcoming those flaws, or you surrender to them and let them dictate your life and stilt your growth. It's always an uphill battle, and it's never easy, but when the alternative is hurting the people around you, I would argue it's worth the effort for their sake.

Final Thoughts:

While there is some leeway between how events in the play can be interpreted, there is one tiny retcon that was hard to ignore: Henry's age. In the show, it's specifically mentioned in the newspaper article that Nancy and Robin look up that Henry was 12 when Virginia and Alice Creel were killed. However, this play retcons his age to being 14 years old. My guess is this was likely done so that Henry would be a freshman, and therefore able to attend Hawkins High School with Joyce, Hopper, Bob, and the other characters. While I don't mind this retcon for story purposes, it still sticks out like a sore thumb, and I wish the Duffer Brothers would take better care with details like that, especially after what happened in S4 with Will's birthday being forgotten.

There is a pamphlet for 10€ that they sell at the Phoenix Theater that gives more information about the play, its cast, and the central ideas behind the story. You can even see it in the picture above with the other memorabilia I collected (next to the t-shirts I bought). If you're going to see the play, I highly recommend purchasing it. It's worth the money.

Overall, this was a well-written play that I'm willing to accept as canon. I hope the events in this play are referenced in S5, and have a role in how the show's story unfolds. I highly recommend getting a ticket for anyone who is a Stranger Things fan! :)

[aclockmaker]

more actors au continued from here

Shooting the first season is a fever dream. Creating and playing in a world that no one else gets to see yet—no reviews, no public, just them. The cast is tight, right away. Eddie, like, loves them. He's already made plans to go to Robin's family's house in Joshua Tree this summer.

Eddie and Steve don’t have that many scenes together. Eddie knows, guiltily, exactly when they’re all shooting.

It’s not just what goes on when the cameras are rolling, either. (Which is, like, still insane. Still makes Eddie feel like he's taken club drugs. And maybe he's not the only one, because—)

It's also that Steve is more likely to ask him to hang out, just the two of them, after they shoot together. Eddie could text him or ask him but he has a complex set of rules for how often he's allowed to be the one initiating it, because, well. He's nursing a pretty bad crush here. It's deeply unprofessional.

In the episode before this, Eddie confides in Nancy’s character, their teen journalist-detective, that he has something he thinks he needs to tell her. Something that’s going to blow her mind. But they’re just in the hall at school, the bell ringing, so he can’t do it right now. It’s his own little “I’ve got a secret, Veronica Mars. A good one.” (He’s watched as many dead-girl tv shows as he can to bone up for the role—all the classics going back to Twin Peaks. Veronica Mars is uniquely applicable because Lily does appear in flashbacks, and even though they’re subverting the trope by having a guy get killed, they all know what kind of story they’re telling.)

In the scene they shoot tonight, Steve's character comes to Eddie's house that same night before he can get to Nancy to try to convince him not to tell her. It's not clear what Steve thinks he knows, when he climbs in through Eddie's window, only that he's practically begging Eddie not to do it. He starts off aggressive, like they're yet again about to get into a physical fight. But the fact that Eddie lets him in speaks to the fact that maybe there's a little more to their relationship. And then Steve's character breaks down, cries a little, and it's really—something, to be wrapping his arms around Steve's shoulders in front of the camera and the crew, under the lights. Eddie is a professional, and he's perfectly capable of slotting those feelings into their correct file folders for later perusal, but—it's something. He's given Steve bro hugs. He's pretty sure Steve even hugged him for real the first time he saw him after he was cast (it's a blur). The only time they've hugged like this is on film.

He's not surprised when there's a message waiting for him on his phone when he eventually gets back to it post-short scene with Max, whose character lives next to Eddie's in-story. The message itself is a little surprising. Hey, I'm wrapped so I'm going home but do you want to come by? And then an address in Silver Lake.

It's not so crazy. Steve takes awhile to decompress after filming something emotional; he doesn't like to be alone. Eddie has learned this very quickly and has very quickly come to crave being the one Steve decompresses with. It just typically happens on the studio lot, in Steve's trailer. But this is fine, too. It just makes sense. Steve was done for the day so he went home. But he still wants to see Eddie.

Eddie sends back three thumbs up emojis, bangs his head on his steering wheel, and starts driving. He chews a fingernail, wonders if he should stop somewhere to get something to bring. A bottle of wine. But that’s stupid probably—it’s not a dinner party. It’s just two friends hanging out. (If he thinks it a little defensively, that’s because Mike was leaning heavy on the innuendo when he asked Eddie where he was going tonight. “Oh really, with Steve? Huh. It’s nice you two get along so well.” Eddie had just glared at him and moved on. The kid is such a little shit.)

Steve hugs him when he gets there, which is almost funny—now that he’s acted it out, he’ll do it in real life, like an echo. But it doesn’t seem fake, it just seems like that’s what Steve does when someone comes to his house. He’s a little high strung, maybe, in constant motion while he waves Eddie in and offers him a beer.

They end up on the pool deck, beers in hand, sitting with their legs dangling in the water up to their knees. It’s secluded here, big, old trees blocking them from any neighbors’ view.

“So,” Steve says. “Good scene after I left?” It doesn’t sound like what he really wants to ask.

“Yeah, fine,” Eddie agrees. “You know what Max is like—she’s too cool for school.”

“Don’t let her hear you say that,” Steve laughs.

“Never,” Eddie agrees. The teasing would never end. He glances at Steve, who seems mostly relaxed, maybe a little hunched in on himself.

“Did you ever, um,” Steve starts, looking out at the water. “Date a co-star?”

Eddie’s brain whites out a little, just static. “Uhh. I thought you were going to ask if I thought you looked weird when you cried, or something.”

Steve sputters. “Do I?”

“No, dude, very pretty crier.” Eddie smiles.

“Thanks I guess,” Steve says, frowning a little.

Eddie chews on his lip. “But, uh. No, I haven’t.”

Steve sighs. “Yeah, me either.”

Which is funny, because he’s been linked with a couple of them from previous projects, but Eddie guesses you can’t believe everything you read.

“Is there someone,” Eddie asks carefully, “you want to date?” Steve is close with Robin and Nancy. Eddie can’t see Robin dating a guy, but what does he know.

“I don’t know,” Steve admits. “I feel like. I don’t know if it would be a terrible idea, because we work together.” And then he just stops talking.

“I might be able to respond better if I knew who we were talking about here.”

Steve gives him a look. “You do know. Don’t make me say it.”

“Gonna definitely need you to.” And then, because he can't help trying to make Steve laugh. "It's Joyce, right?"

"Please," Steve says, and does laugh a little. "I wish I thought I had a shot with Joyce." She's a legitimately famous actress who Eddie often can't believe he's going to share an IMDB listing with.

"But, uh," Steve goes on. “I don’t want to mess anything up, though.” Now he sounds careful.

Eddie doesn’t know what Steve thinks he’s messing up—their chemistry, he guesses, if he’s not reading this very wrong. Their friendship maybe. The show. Any remaining semblance of professionalism. Eddie is pretty ready to throw most of that stuff out the window—after all, who says just because they hook up the work will suffer? Maybe it’ll be better because Eddie won’t be crushed under the weight of absurd amounts of sexual tension anymore. Not that it’s been a hardship, but…

“I don’t think you’re messing anything up,” Eddie tells him. “I mean—personally. Who says anything will get messed up?” I think it might be worth it even if it does, he doesn’t add, because it’s shocking to even think it, and obviously too much for the moment. He doesn’t know if he really means it—this show is, like, the opportunity he’s been waiting his whole life for. But he’s already dead on it; there’s only so many flashback scenes they can film as he ages further out of the high school age bracket for a character who can’t get older.

“Yeah, but.” Steve runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. “The way we are on the show—“ he shoots a worried little glance at Eddie, who tries not to react outwardly to that, which is hard. “Don’t you think some of that’s because—I mean, for me at least, it is, I’m not saying—for you—"

“Me, too,” Eddie assures him before he hurts himself. “But—okay, you brought this up, not me. What do you want, then?”

“Dude, I wish I knew,” Steve says. “I mean—“ he glances at Eddie— “I know what I want, but I don’t know what we should do. But I just felt like I was going crazy, and the only person I really wanted to tell was, well, you.”

Oh. “Steve,” Eddie says, almost a warning. He wants to offer that they can hook up and it won’t mean anything and nothing will change. He wants to offer that they can date and nothing bad will happen. It’s all stupid, impossible to promise.

“I know,” Steve says miserably. “Sorry.”

Eddie shakes his head. It’s almost unbearably sweet that Steve is so bent out of shape over him. “Come on, we only have, what, two more weeks of filming? We can make it through two weeks, right?”

“Guess we have to,” Steve agrees, but he moves his hand over a little so their pinkies touch on the edge of the pool.

tagging a few people by request, thank you for being interested <3 @atlas-talks @obsessivlyme @lyriclight @deadflowercollector @thatonebadideapanda @wolfstarlights @eddiemunsonswife @alienace @wishiwasacasualfan

[elliott-the-creature]

Some WoF headcanons! (Pt. 1: Pyrrhian Dragons)

(Some of these ideas are mine, and some of these I’ve seen from others).

MudWings

Their colours can be browns, orangey-brown, greenish-brown, grey-brown, amber, jade green, and even brown-black.

Some MudWings can have crocodile-like snouts that are thinner and longer than regular MudWing snouts.

They have multiple rows of spikes along their back (like alligators and crocodiles).

Sometimes they can have webbed talons like SeaWings.

Due to their love of food, they’re one of the best chefs in the continent. They also love using lots of herbs and spices in their dishes.

MudWing royalty will wear bone/teeth jewelry, jewel piercings, cow pelt capes, flower crowns, and even antler crowns from deer, elk, or moose.

MudWings have tusks that they use to dig up plants and fight for mates.

Low class MudWings that struggle to make regular MudWing homes will dig undergroud or through the sides of cliffs/hills to make their homes.

SeaWings

They’re some of the biggest gossips in the continent and love to tell tall tales.

SeaWing families are very affectionate, and some parents are known to spoil their dragonets (which other tribes find weird).

Besides IceWings and SkyWings, SeaWings have the biggest hierarchical difference between lower and higher class dragons.

SeaWings that live near the surface/in reefs are more vibrant and have less need for Aquatic markings outside of communication (due to how bright their environment is). They also have weaker night vision.

Open ocean SeaWings look the most like an average SeaWing, and get bigger the deeper they live.

Deep-sea SeaWings are giant, and come in dark blues, navys, blacks, and even shades of red. They have the strongest night vision, and use Aquatic the most.

SeaWings have fish-like tails and sails along their wings and upper tail to help with navigation.

Due to them living primarily in the ocean, their wings are the least developed, and SeaWing dragonets fly much later than other dragon tribes.

SandWings

SandWings have the second hottest firebreath, only being beaten by SkyWings.

SandWing families are very distant, and many SandWing dragonets are orphaned shortly after hatching.

They have the best heat tolerance, and some SandWings can have fire resistance like blood-egg MudWings.

SandWings can have rattles near the end of their tail (right before their tail barb), and shake it when intimidated or angry.

They’re the most musical tribe, and have travelling bards (similar to IceWings).

Alongside SkyWings and SeaWings, they’re expert jewellers, and have very good reviews from even queens who buy their products.

SandWings are the most opposed to pets, and consider them a waste of space and resources. Thus, any dragon with a pet will most likely have their pet eaten or accidentally killed.

Many SandWings will have underground burrows to stay cool during the day, and will hunt in the evening/at night to avoid the intense sun.

SkyWings

SkyWings shed their scales the most of any tribe, and some dragons or even humans will collect the scales for jewelry or decorations.

SkyWings often have windchimes outside their home, and consider elegant designs and complex sound systems to be more desirable.

They have a very good tolerance to altitude sickness.

The hotter the SkyWing’s fire is, the lighter their scales are (like actual fire (I also love the idea that some SkyWings have blue or white scales due to how hot their fire is)).

They have the best eyesight, but have terrible night vision.

SkyWing eggs are more durable than other eggs from different tribes, and can even survive small falls from their nests (firescale eggs are more fragile though).

Their overall endurance is crazy good, and pride themselves on how well they can fly/fight.

SkyWings and water don’t mix whatsoever. They act like housecats when forced to go in water.

NightWings

Besides mind reading and future sight, NightWings born under new moons can have telepathy or past sight.

They’re super big on accessories, and often have lots of pouches and sacs filled with their favourite items.

A rare condition that NightWings can develop is something called Vampirism. Dragons with this condition crave blood and are super sensitive to sunlight (so they’re basically vampires).

NightWings born with albinism are often cast off by their parents or even killed due to being “impure” or “not fit for living”.

They have the weakest firebreath due to them spending the least amount of time under the sun.

NightWing scales under the sun are actually very vibrant, and shine in many different colours when in the right condition.

NightWings overheat often due to their scales attracting sunlight.

They have an interesting relationship with humans, and wish to study them more often and learn from them.

IceWings

Similar to NightWings, their scales are colourful under the sunlight.

They are the second best swimmers and can hold their breath for up to an hour.

Their horns can sometimes be segmented (like cervidae), and can be shed or broken off during spring and summer.

IceWings are very pompous and despise getting dirty.

They celebrate the winter solstice and love to have parties whenever something eventful happens.

IceWing royalty wear animal hides, gemstone jewelry, bone necklaces/bracelets, and shell jewelry.

The equivalent to firescales in IceWings is frostscales, where instead of burning things, they freeze things. And like fireless twins, frostless twins exist, and have a lower life expectancy due to them having poor cold resistance.

IceWings make igloos for non-IceWings to help them stay warm when staying in the IceWing kingdom.

RainWings (my favourite tribe!)

They are expert dancers and love to perform for others.

RainWings omnivores exist, but are more uncommon (these usually exist when the RainWing is a hybrid).

They are the best medics, and often have travelling medics that go around spreading info about medical herbs and treatments.

RainWings often become biologists due to how diverse their territory is, and have the most extensive knowledge about animals and plants.

Besides sloths, RainWings often own tropical birds, frogs, insects, and even wild cats (like jaguars and panthers).

RainWings are the second worst flyers, and are more used to gliding than full on flying.

Some RainWings have extendable tongues that they use to grab stuff with (like chameleons)

RainWings have sticky pads on their talons that are used to grip surfaces better (like geckos).

[drdemonprince]

Have you ever experienced like... positive imposter syndrome?

My job is a torment I have to endure to get rent + food money & medical coverage. I lied about my credentials to get it because it had a good medical plan. It's rather technically complex and I don't really understand it or care about it, just do the bare minimum to avoid getting fired.

Just had a performance review with my boss and she told me she was blown away by my skill, engagement, responsibility, and passion and wanted me to work on doing less and delegating more to my other coworkers because I'm taking on too many tasks.

So since I'm doing like, nothing, now I feel like I am a master of deception who could work anywhere and trick a manager into thinking I'm working hard and enjoying it regardless of my competence or passion.

Instead of the classic anxiety of imposter syndrome "I don't know what I'm doing and someone could find out I am a fraud at any moment" it's this empowering and egomaniacal "I've been masking since childhood and I'm so good at lying I could work anywhere and nobody would notice I don't know what I'm doing."

I experience this every day and I have tried explaining it to my coworkers who are afraid to do so much as turn down a meeting invitation and they just don't get it! I have combined my lack of affective empathy with my talent for masking and my Autistic adeptness at pattern recognition to create a system of subterfuge, diplomatic truth-telling, and strategic planning that allows me to ascend the ranks of now two professional fields while doing relatively fuck all. it's fucking crazy dude. i wish i could bottle this arrogance and shrewdness and hand it over to all my friends and loved ones. when i see people getting punished or losing their jobs for being honest or after working their asses to the bone it just... makes me so sad. we have so much power that we are conditioned to never ever harness. granted, a lot of my experience does come from my numerous privileges, and not everyone can play the specific game that i am playing. but i see many people not even realizing there's a toolkit of strategies they could adopt and make work for them. I hope my next book on Autism can tackle much of this.

[adobe-outdesign]

Really enjoying the neopet reviews and holding myself back from asking for half a dozen species. What are your thoughts on the Ruki?

As an insect lover, I've always really liked Ruki. There are actually two bug Neopets, Ruki and Buzz, though ironically they're kind of opposites to each other—Ruki have insect-like bodies with normal eyes, while Buzz have normal bodies with compound eyes. Between the two I prefer the Ruki, as the body shape captures more of that bug aesthetic while the eyes help it be more expressive.

Visually, the Ruki is probably closest to a mantis (more obvious in the pre-customization art), though it mixes in a few non-mantis traits such as a beetle-like shell. It's actually a very complex design for Neopets, which tends to keep things simple—it's more or less got the anatomy of an actual mantis with all six limbs, just with the body bent 90 degrees to be slightly more anthro. There's lots of detailed line work in areas like the chest, joints, feet, and abdomen, for example. Still, it does follow the Neopets rule of using color to divide out the body for easy readability, with areas like the joints, feet, and elytra being a darker shade of the base.

Ruki went mostly unchanged in customization, and still look pretty darn good. The only drawbacks are that the forelimbs used to be sleeker and pointer, similar to that of a mantis (stylistically speaking), while the post-customization's forelimbs feel too thick and clunky in comparison—it seems like they mostly got changed so they could hold items, which no one wanted them to do in the first place. Also, the bottom four legs all got inexplicably changed so the knees bend in the opposite direction. The way they are now is more bug-accurate, but I felt like the backwards knees were more interesting.

Favorite Colours:

Desert: Ruki canonically hail from the Lost Desert, so thankfully the desert Ruki looks really good. I like the use of warm tones—brown for the base with gold and red accents. The way the armor is integrated directly into the body's natural plating also looks great, and makes it feel like a very natural color.

My only complaint is that the converted version inexplicably lost the veil that was supposed to be coming off its head piece, along with the eyeliner at the top and the darker spots. It's weird because the rest of the body is pretty accurate. Hopefully they'll do a UC style for this one some day, but in the meanwhile, the customized is still pretty good.

Faerie: Admittedly, the converted faerie Ruki is a bit of a downgrade from the UC style version—mostly because the wings actually used to be coming from the abdomen, like real bug wings, which was really unique and looked great. There are also some more inexplicable changes, like the legs having the serrated look but not the arms or the antennae like the original. Still, the peach and purple palette combined with the detailed markings looks beautiful on both versions.

Transparent: Transparent gets a spot here because it's actually fairly automatically accurate! Relatively speaking. Insects obviously have exoskeletons and not internal skeletons, but this is a giant fantasy bug so I don't mind. The rather long organs are insect accurate as far as I'm aware, and the bones seem to be modeled after an insect's respiratory system. A+ for research instead of just sticking a normal skeleton in there. My only nitpick is that the head could've used some bones, as it feels weirdly empty.

BONUS: I'm tossing in two bonuses this time because I picked the transparent more for anatomy than aesthetics. The camoflauge Ruki has a very pretty tan and brown palette with some high contrast and lovely darker legs, while the polka dot is a ladybug and just plain cute.

[blog405095]

✖️ BONE COMPLEX REVIEW 2024 (SEE EVERYTHING IN THIS VIDEO NOW!!!)

[flodaya]

Do you think critics are biased towards Z because judging by their reviews she did some awards worthy acting but for me she was just okayish? Both men outperformed her by miles imo. She really needs to work on her line delivery and emoting

i think you are biased against her, baby girl <3 you also suck at being subtle lol

anyway, this gives me a chance to rant about an issue i've noticed with Luca that keeps happening in his movies so let me just rant, kind of spoilers i guess

Luca tends to focus stories that should be centered around a female lead on her male supporting cast, Tashi might have been the main character but i did think the story of Art and Patrick was perhaps developed a little too much compared to Tashi, i had a similar issue with Bones and All which took a lot of the focus away from Taylor's character and fleshed out (pun intended) Timmy's character a lot

i don't mind secondary characters being complex, i do think especially for a messy story like Challengers it was important to see all sides of the triangle BUT I still wish Tashi had been THE focus instead of the men getting almost a more complex relationship development than Tashi with Art/Patrick

Tashi and Patrick were developed really well, i think for me something was missing between Art and Tashi, eg. they didn't at all go into them having a child together, their daughter must surely be a huge factor in their relationship but besides Tashi watching her husband and daughter sleep they didn't at all delve any deeper into it

[contentment-of-cats]

The best breakdown of Andor, ever.

I am not one for most online reviews of anything, but this review says for more about Andor and what made it the best writing of a Disney product, ever. Full stop.

Quote from the intro:

To describe the story of Andor as the backstory of a rebel would be somewhat like describing the Odyssey as the story of a boat ride or Death Stranding as the story of a delivery man or the Sistine Chapel as the story of a painting very far up. It omits the complexities the layering the Nuance of the experience and reduces it to its barest narrative bones it is easier to review and break down art when it lacks the brush strokes that make it such because real art is not only experienced but extracted, remembered, relatable, revered, and inspiring. When a substance grows so human that its themes become self-sustaining that it effortlessly reignites itself at the forefront of your imagination; when how you see the world is providentially impacted by the medium of sound, and perspective, and the collision of consonants you know you've created something special and why reviews like this are so daunting.

Watch, but also listen, because this is wonderful, and reminds me after the disappointment of Disney 'product' why I love Star Wars in the first place.

[sophieinwonderland]

Debunking r/DIDcringe "debunking" Endogenic Claims

Cool!

I expect a well thought-out post citing lots of sources to prove their points!

No. There are many studies showing DID is heavily correlated with severe and repeated childhood trauma.

It's theorized this correlation is because DID is caused by trauma, but this hasn't been shown. A causal relationship, even if likely, is difficult to establish as it would technically require children to be traumatized to test.

Luckily, this particular nuance isn't actually a point of debate. Nobody on either side is arguing that DID can't be caused by trauma. I think most people on both sides are in agreement that the relationship is a causal one. (Even if I'm going to be pedantic about how that hasn't been proven.)

But just because a causal relationship may exist doesn't mean that's the only possible cause. To think this risks falling prey to the Fallacy of the Single Cause or Causal Oversimplification.

If you were to run an experiment where you hit people on the arm with a hammer, you can successfully prove being hit with a hammer is a cause of broken bones. But it would be fallacious to conclude that hammers are the only possible cause of broken bones.

Whether you can have DID without trauma is an extremely complex question and theories very often fall prey to the above fallacy.

I will say my personally feelings are that DID is virtually always caused by trauma, but people should be open to the potential for other causes to exist in rare cases.

I wouldn't use the word "prove". What I will say is that multiple experts in the field have acknowledged the existence or at least the possibility of plurality/multiplicity without trauma or a disorder.

It is true that there was one paper that suggested a continuum of multiplicity that ranged from what it called" identity disturbance" to dissociative identity disorder. Although it's worth noting that this same paper referred to DID as a severe form of identity disturbance and places them on a continuum together.

And the claim here that other sources are unreliable is just absurd.

Non-disordered plurality has been acknowledged in the World Health Organization's ICD-11's Boundary with Normality, stating that multiple "distinct identity states" may be present without a disorder.

Likewise, the creators of the Theory of Structural Dissociation have said it's possible hypnosis and mediumship may involve "dissociative parts of the personality" that possess "self-consciousness."

Additionally, the book Transgender Mental Health by Eric Yarbrough has explicitly said you can be plural without a disorder or trauma.

This book was reviewed and published by The American Psychiatric Association.

Notably, there is also no one saying the opposite. There is no academic paper arguing that you can't be plural without a disorder or trauma, or that you need trauma to have multiple "distinct personality states" or anything of the sort. If you look at academic papers, the range is from neutral (this needs to be studied more) to pro (this is a real phenomenon.)

I'm not going to go too far into the appropriation claims beyond saying that Tibetan Buddhism is an open religion, the Dalai Lama has encouraged people of other faiths to use Tibetan Buddhist meditations, and there's no evidence sprul-pa (the practice tulpamancy was based on) was a closed practice.

The appropriation narrative was invented by and pushed by sysmeds, and isn't actually a concern within Buddhist communities. If you want to see this in action, here's a comparison of r/Systemscringe and r/Buddhism opinions on tulpamancy.

The fact that cringe subreddits are way more concerned about the so-called appropriation than actual Buddhist subreddits should be a good indication that this was always more about using Buddhists as a talking point to silence one of the most studied endogenic communities.

As for the whole "DID isn't plural" thing, this is just semantics.

Some DID systems view themselves as parts, others as people. Psychiatrists would say that the whole body makes the person. But there are philosophies that suggest that the ability for dissociated parts to each have their own self-consciousness and agency makes them a person.

When discussing plurality, I personally use the term "agent." It bypasses a lot of these silly semantic arguments over what is or isn't a person. Because whether we're talking about multiple people, dissociated parts, or even spirits, what we're discussing is an experience of multiple agents with their own self-consciousness and and agency.

That's essentially what plurality is.

Multiplicity is an experience of being multiple. Again, the World Health Organization's ICD-11 says you can experiences multiple distinct personality states without a disorder. You do NOT need DID or OSDD to experience multiplicity.

If there's a single peer-reviewed academic source anywhere that claims you it's impossible to be plural without DID or OSDD, you're welcome to provide it.

Additionally, I've been unable to find any studies showing a significant correlation between OSDD-1 without amnesia (what's inaccurately called OSDD-1b) and trauma. It's often presumed to exist, but the evidence isn't there.

As you stated earlier, dissociative amnesia is heavily linked to trauma. If dissociative amnesia is a criteria of DID, then naturally that link would exist there as well. So then, if the multiplicity is caused by trauma, we would need to conduct studies into people with OSDD who have no amnesia to confirm that.

From what I've found, no study of this sort has been conducted.

Finally, this asserts that all multiplicity comes from these disorders. A claim that they fail to support in any way. Because they CAN'T support it.

Because again, all the research studying plurality have affirmed that you can be plural without a dissociative disorder.

Well, That Concludes Another Anti-Endo "Debunking" Post With No Sources!

Wait. That's not entirely true! They do link to this one:

Except it doesn't confirm any of their points, and seems to mostly be added to prevent the automod from removing their post. Like they said, most of this was "from memory."

Meaning they're just regurgitating things they've heard online from unknown sources.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: The Beast Takes a Bride by Julie Anne Long

4.5/5. Releases 10/22/2024.

The Vibes:

—Beauty and the Beast (most obvi)

—weapon-grade pining

—big stern man meets lowkey bratty woman (his wife)

—covert boning (like... everyone is covertly boning in this book)

Heat Index: 7/10

The Basics:

Alexandra Brightwall should be relieved when her husband, war hero Magnus, bails her out of prison. The problem? They haven't seen each other for five years. Not since the day after their wedding, actually. Stern and cool, Magnus knows their marriage was a huge mistake, so he has a proposal. He's on the verge of being created an earl; he just needs to present a good face until that happens. As long as Alexandra helps him put on the facade of a harmonious relationship, he's happy to give her a life of luxury... far from him. Needless to say, this is a lot easier said than done.

The Review:

Julie Anne Long is always funny; but the best kind of Julie Anne Long also punches you in the gut. This? Does just that. In fact, I think it's my third-favorite JAL, after What I Did for a Duke and After Dark with the Duke. It kind of gave me everything!

The thing I've struggled with when reading a lot of recent historical romances is that everyone is very... nice. Sedate, even. They don't act out, they're fundamentally good people who don't fuck up, and so on. This is not that kind of book. It's not that Magnus or Alexandra are so horrible. They're clearly good people with good hearts and good intentions.

They're just also... delightfully flawed. She's a bit bratty and flighty and tends to act on impulse. He's stern and struggles with forgiveness, and has a tendency to want to win at all costs. Neither of them are by any means monsters (though Magnus is referred to as a "beast" by the gossips, and in one of my favorite microtropes, IT KINDA HURTS BIG GROWLY MAN'S FEELINGS WHEN PEOPLE CALL HIM BEAST). But they have their issues, and they haven't dealt with them, and that's why their marriage combusts before it can really even start.

Also, they're both pretty bad at talking about their feelings, and make judgments about each other that aren't really fair. Here's the thing, though: All of this makes sense, because they were kind of strangers marrying. You get the most glorious pining thoughts from Magnus, and it's clear that he was besotted with Alexandra from the start... But he really didn't get to know her as a person. He didn't let her be a flawed person.

And it's a surprisingly complex thing, the way Long both lets us luxuriate in the swoony romanticism of Magnus's initial feelings for Alexandra (and my God, is it romantic... this is just an achingly romantic novel, in general) while never condemning Alexandra for her resistance. Because Magnus's feelings can be genuine, and he can be right about this inexorable chemistry between him and Alexandra; and he can also push Alexandra too far too soon and go about making their relationship a reality in a bad way. And then act affronted when she doesn't respond well to being pushed.

They're both messy people who nevertheless have, as Magnus, one of those guys with a Good Sense About Things (hence him being good at war) amazing chemistry. The kind of tension that just has to be fulfilled. It's delicious, and it's part of what makes this one of the hottest books I've read by Long. I mean. Holy shit.

It's also just like... so sweet? I felt as if I really got to know both Magnus and Alexandra, despite the narrative being brisk and also, like every book in this series, offering time to supporting characters. Few people can pull this off. Long is one of the best romance writers I can think of in terms of noticing the small details that have a big impact. The little notes about Magnus's past that tell you so much about why he is the way he is. The beats for Alexandra that remind you of a depth he doesn't necessarily want to see in her, five years after she broke his heart.

(And: I LOVE what drove them apart initially. Handled with such humanity! A thing I think a lot of authors wouldn't have done!)

Also—for Jane Austen fans. Imagine Colonel Brandon local pushing the marriage with Marianne, and then having it blow up in his face. With public sex. This is the look!

Of course, I have to note those supporting characters. I always love catching up with the regulars. When will Dot and Mr. Pike figure it out? How loud is Dot going to be when they finally do it? A small subplot in the book is basically a lot of supporting characters being pushed into horniness because of the awkward situations that arise when a honeymooning couple rooms at the Palace. It is glorious. It leads to some super funny yet sexy moments between our two mainstay couples, Delilah and Tristan (Lady Derring Takes a Lover) and Angelique and Lucien (Angel in a Devil's Arms). The way these books keep giving me Lustful Married Couples is. Everything!

The Sex:

Again... this is one of the horniest JAL books I've read! You do genuinely get more sex on the page than a few of the previous installments in this series (four scenes between our main couple, including one particularly exciting moment), plus a lot of hardcore flirting/implied sex between two other couples... and then the "it's funny, but now everyone is talking about loud sex and it's getting hot in the room" loud newlyweds.

I really loved how Alexandra and Magnus had sex, though. The impetuousness of it all. The way he just SNAPPED around her. And honestly? When he's right, he's right. He knew they'd be great in bed together, and, like... yes. I also super appreciated how he used Alexandra's Lust for His Body against her. So great.

Basically: It's funny! It's emotionally devastating at points! It's sexy! This is what we want from Julie Anne Long, and it's a damn good marriage in trouble/second chance book. So excited for everyone else to read this one.

Thanks to NetGalley and Avon for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Character Rundown: The Other Four

Alright, I'm still psyching myself up to go back to reviews, but first, I wanted to do a character rundown of the four characters that got a Miraculous in Penalteam, as they all share the fact that of the Miracukids they're barely utilized. So let's go!

Ivan Bruel

Alright, starting off with the Big Guy. Honestly of the four it's honestly the strangest he didn't get his own episode, considering that the other half of the auxiliary duo he's in, Mylene, got her own episode all about her and making her a Miraculous hero. Like, he'd work well in Optigami against Style Queen as well! Maybe Optigami takes place far earlier in Season 4 so we can get that sweet sweet Lukanette and Adrigami content before it all falls apart and Marinette's parents learn about the whole 'Ladybug and Guardian' thing so they can save her bacon and possibly become Miraculous wielders themselves, and Ivan is one of the few survivors of Style Queen's murderous rampage! There's parallels to him being the first akuma as well! But I guess his character is just going to be "Mylene's girlfriend" instead. As for my interpretations on his character, I read two fanfics that both had a segment that interpreted his silent giant character as very perceptive. In one he figured out the identities of both Ladybug and Chat Noir without seeing them transform, and in another he realized Lila was lying in Chameleon almost immediately and was crucial in taking her down. I really like this interpretation, to the point where I headcanon that he knows the identities of most Miraculous heroes and knew Lila was capping. Also I felt like he was too soft in Penalteam. He doesn't normally want to hurt anyone but if it's for the greater good he'll do it is my interpretation. Other stuff, other stuff... he likes death metal. That combined with him being in Kitty Section makes me believe he's a Jojo fan, because the rest of Kitty Section are definitely Jojo fans. Except maybe Adrien. Maybe not. Also I don't like his voice but that's no biggie to me. Like, if his voice is supposed to deep-yet-crack-y, then I'm chill. Representation for the kids watching this show.

Nathaniel Kurtzberg

Honestly, of all the Miracukids, Nathaniel is the least interesting to me. Like I feel like I know all I need to about him through canon and headcanon. He was bullied for being shy, meek, and Jewish, and that resulted in him becoming mistrustful, vengeful, and at points grouchy. His interests are drawing superhero comics and watching superhero media. Before Marc came along they didn't have too much of a complex ongoing story. He wants to be a comic artist when he grows up, specifically of Ladybug. He's boned if people realize how weird it is to make merch and other stuff of real live superheroes without their permission or even giving them cash. He's bi. He knows the identities of the Miraculous heroes. He has two first cousins once removed. One of his parents is a doctor, while the other can stay at home. Like, that's it. Even moreso is that he keeps on getting forgotten in the Miracuclass. Apparently he just vanished in Zombizou.

Marc Aniel

Honestly Marc feels like he has even less personality and time in-show yet I can headcanon more stuff about him than Nathaniel. Why is he friends with Marinette despite us never seeing him before? In the first year of middle school, he and Marinette were seatmates in the same class, and said class had no Chloe, so they had time to be safe and bond over being victims of bullying and the joy of creation. They're transmasc and nonbinary, using they/he pronouns. They have two moms and zero dads in sight. They got into soccer from soccer yaoi. In general they're a big yaoi consumer, mostly of twink yaoi. They're a wolf furry. They're a weeb, too. Actually maybe he just has more varied interests than Nathaniel. I guess when given the chance they can passionately ramble on about the stories they're writing is my interpretation,

Sabrina Raincomprix

Sabrina's a fun one, as she wasn't always shoved to the side. She was a main character in season 1, arguably more than Nino was! And honestly, I got a lot of character from her. My interpretation of her is that as a baby child, she imprinted heavily on Roger's ideals and her philosophy is a person's worth is dependent on what they contribute to the lives of others. That, combined with the mommy issues she has from never knowing her mom (I don't know what happened to her,) is the reason why she's so servile to Chloe and at one point Marinette. She loves Chloe and thinks that deep down, Chloe loves her back. Morally, she's true neutral, which is why she's fine with breaking into Marinette's house to steal her diary or locking Juleka in the bathroom. She doesn't necessarily hate them, though. She's just doing her job. She's both an accomplished and a disaster lesbian, and I love her for that. I feel like you could make a damn good long story about her. In general while Julerose is amazing sweet wholesome yuri, Chlobrina is amazing toxic yuri. Why is this show so good with side character yuri?

Also, here's what I think wholesome adult Chlobrina where they both developed as characters and came back together would look like if they were cats: